#LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY FRUSTRATION?!
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butchfalin · 1 year ago
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "đŸ‘‰đŸŒđŸ‘ŒđŸŒâ“" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use đŸ«”đŸŒ?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. đŸ‘ŒđŸŒ is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent đŸ‘‰đŸŒđŸ‘ŒđŸŒ as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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the-acid-pear · 1 year ago
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I'm sooo frustrated with my dad atm. I'm exhausted in general as previously mentioned but my dad's refusal to solve anything which directly affects me because I depend on him. Like I'm fucking disabled that's the thing and the more I'll stay the same if I'm not given the tools and help and etc I need.
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999999999inadream · 1 year ago
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toby fox needs to add like a bit of narration in deltarune abt kris like "they themmed they/themily down the stheirs" cus i cant go on seeing them constantly get he/himmed in yt comment sections
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s0fter-sin · 7 months ago
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codtwt is going off on brainwashed!soap bc of his new warzone skin and it’s making me think of ghost deliberately getting himself captured by makarov bc he knows he’ll be given to his dog to try and break him; knows he won’t be able to resist the irony, the cruelty of being tortured by the teammate he lost
he doesn’t fight; welcomes the chains around his wrists and ankles, welcomes the hands stripping him of his weapons and gear until he's defenceless
he wouldn't use them anyway
when he stalks into the room, the muzzle, the scars, not even the blank hatred or lack of recognition could make him mistake his eyes
that's his johnny
he doesn't flinch as he digs knives into his skin; would never shy away from his kiss even if it's tinged with rusted steel. doesn't swallow his screams; not when he always loved hearing him, when he spent so long coaxing his voice from the grave
frustration joins the anger in johnny's eyes the longer he goes without giving up information
just jokes; dark and puns alike
just advice when he can't get the jumper cables to spark right
ghost's not trying to escape; not trying to barter his return to the 141
he's right where he wants to be
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knockknockitsnickels · 24 days ago
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Something which I think is kind of under-discussed regarding the Princess is how lonely she is, esp in contrast to you (the player). From the start of the game, you're never alone. You've got the Narrator - despite how questionable his company is - and the Voice of the Hero, then slowly all of your other voices. She doesn't have that. We see in Princess and the Dragon, every time a new loop starts she's completely alone with only the thought that this is what she deserves. You're the only thing she has.
Shifty asks "Why wouldn't I be kind to you? You're the only thing I know which isn't me." And we see in the game - with some exceptions, like the Witch - the Princess' goal come chapter 2 is always to have your company. Sometimes it's to subjugate you, like the Tower, and sometimes it's for help escaping, but she's almost always seeking your companionship in some way.
But you've got your voices, and the Narrator. You never really needed her, did you? I'm thinking about PATD again, where you can spend the whole chapter bonding with her only to immediately turn on her the second you get your body back ("Good to be back, boys"). In the final cabin at the end of the game, the Heart Princess can mention the whole conflict boils down to whether Shifty (and by extension, the Princess herself) "should" get to exist. If you kill the Heart Princess, you've still got your voices. There's no ending where she lives on alone. I don't think she'd even WANT an ending like that.
She just makes me very sad. You're the only thing she knows, and in some routes you're just. Relentlessly cruel to her.
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deoidesign · 4 months ago
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Wearing your boyfriend's jacket
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ricky-mortis · 8 months ago
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Have some Ted doodles- as a treat.
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lokh · 21 days ago
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also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.
#canon laios would blurt out 'why do you look like our dad' and fisticuffs ensue.#shuro........ is a little more complicated#if canon shuro doesnt think too hard about it and just treats the other him like a stranger then theres no problem#on the other hand i imagine he holds himself to high standards and if he sees his other self doing things he considers improper or uncouth.#i imagine hed only speak up if he saw it happen A Lot like hed pull him aside like hey... what the fuck#thered be a bit of 'holy shit i woulda turned out like THAT??' on both sides#roleswap shuro would often get frustrated but i think hed understand that like. thats how the culture is like he lived it too#but i think similarly hed watch laios steamroll og shuro and eventually be like. DUDE. just say something#shorter fuse lmao. anyways still turning this AU over in my head#how much more forward can shuro be before hes unbelievably out of character...#and what if they switched universes!!!!#if laios switched. it would be immediately obvious something is up in the og universe but it may be chalked up to like#a weird mood..... though maybe the party starts to wonder 'hey... is it not possible this is a shapeshifter' 😭#but og laios in the roleswap universe...#tbh havent thought too hard on what the party dynamics in that universe might be like assuming all else is the same save for the roleswap#i imagine chilchuck would still get on alright as long as hes being paid upfront and laios is still attentive/ recognises his abilities#and limitations also. marcille................................... hmm#she might treat him more formally and be less close.... may perceive him as more threatening at first meeting#(in terms of like. 'taking falin away' i mean if that makes sense)#but well. u kno how in canon laios Does notice a lot of things about his companions and has a very pragmatic view that surprises them#and they dont tend to notice until he says it aloud because its often overlooked cos of his. everything else.#well. id imagine roleswap laios still notices things but simply would not say it aloud.#the party would also be like .. dude... did he hit his head#if SHURO swapped...................... well it depends when exactly it happened#i imagine it could be a bigger issue with the retainers#im losing steam cos my lower back hurt so bad adgfsdfg i cant get a good position on this chair#but for shuro himself i imagine it would be nightmarish lmao.#roleswap (henceforth RS) shuro would wake up as an adult with the retainers like. ??? was that all a dream?? did i never make it out#meanwhile og shuro ending up god knows where..........#if he ended up with the retainers again he might not immediately realise somethings amiss and try to act normally
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stiffyck · 2 months ago
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"i dont like animated movies" okay but why. like i genuinely would like to know WHY. and id like to hear literally any other reason besides "animation is for kids" or "its childish"
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steamedlotusroot · 3 months ago
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as a native chinese, i feel like some of yall are taking the gods in lego monkie kid a bit too seriously. i understand why it feels iffy to ship / make silly content of deities that people worship irl (eg. nezha, sun wukong) but it’s a phenomenon on chinese social media too. c-netizens ship the fictionalized versions of these gods, which the gods of lego monkie kid are. they aren’t the actual gods people worship; they’re slightly tweaked versions of the book characters, just like any other chinese adaptation or retelling of jttw (and such stories like fsyy) also, no, nezha isn’t a child, in lmk or jttw or sometimes irl. just because he’s often depicted in child form doesn’t make him an immortal child. eros / cupid is often depicted as a winged baby, and he has a wife and kids. it’s basically the same thing here. nothing in lmk suggests that nezha is a child (his voice, his appearance, his personality etc. all imply he is an adult), and while he’s described as youthful in jttw, he’s already 1700+ years old by then and gods can shapeshift. people only think he’s an immortal baby because that’s a popular depiction of him, since one of his prominent myths is set during his childhood. but as long as you’re talking about the god nezha (fictionalized or the religious figure) and not the human child nezha, then that’s an adult [edit: the last sentence couldve been worded better. i would summarize it as “immortal youth nezha is a valid depiction and is popularized by mythology, but adult god nezha exists too and they are NOT mutually exclusive”]
#i’m not even here for shipping discourse ie. “you can’t ship nezha w anyone cuz he’s a child!”#i dont ship him with anyone that’s never been my focus#i just dislike misinformation#if you understand that cupid and eros are adult gods despite often being depicted as babies then why don’t you understand this#and in case i need to clarify i hate pr*sh*pping i dont support it#the fact is that any lmk nezha ship simply isn’t a pr*sh*p because he’s a full grown man#never once in the show does he act or sound like a child so why is this such a widespread belief??#i’d get it if the show was about him as a child going on his killing spree#but lmk is clearly set millennia after that#also abt the “dont ship deities” thing i understand seeing non-cn fans treat chinese gods like fairytale characters is frustrating#but to me since lmk characters aren’t very accurate to their real life religious counterparts they are not the same ppl#like i see swk fanart and think “swk the lmk character” and not “swk the daoist god” yknow#but that’s only my opinion i wont say i’m totally right i won’t argue if you’re daoist or buddhist and find it offensive#lego monkie kid#lmk#jttw#journey to the west#lmk nezha#lmk swk#lmk sun wukong#age discourse#immortal child depictions of nezha do exist that doesn’t mean the god is always a child#and in FICTION. yknow SHOWS and STORIES. not worship. if the story says he’s an adult then that’s what he is#so like. statue of baby nezha = baby#statue of adult nezha = adult. it does not mean every single depiction of nezha is a child#don’t generalize things and do not infantalize him
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sskk-manifesto · 5 months ago
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ® ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (â•„ïčâ•„) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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maria-ruta · 1 month ago
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I'm having a bad mood today
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Would you draw my blorbo for me please?
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dykedvonte · 1 month ago
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Mini rant below and in the tags, the only time I’ll talk about this and my personal take on it.
The way people talk about hypothetical male Anya on Twitter and the idea of how Mouthwashing would play out if the genders were swapped makes me remember how people still don’t take sexual assault and rape with male victims with the same gravity, especially when the perpetrator is female.
#not even gonna tag this cause I don’t want to start discourse in the tags but you can absolutely still explore the concepts of patriarchy#toxic masculinity misogyny and rape culture if the genders where swapped#like those concepts don’t disappear just because Anya is a boy now cause you have to think of all the ways it applies to male victims and#I just don’t understand why people keep getting angry when people facilitate different discussion the game opens you up to#like yes I get the frustration with not seeing the conversations you want but start them go find them why complain on other posts when#people are bringing attention to similar issues and the ways they are overlooked dismissed or blame the victim#I for one think we should have more basic clarifying conversations of SA rape cultures and how toxic masculinity and sexism create scenarios#like the Tulpar and enable men like Jimmy but I also can understand and enjoy the topic being expanded upon to include other cases on a#flipped scale like yes how male centered the fandom is is annoying considering the topic but seeing comments saying that SA isn’t as harmful#to men cause they can’t get pregnant is a whole can of worms you really need to unpack cause holy shit#like in this scenario if Jimmy is pregnant and can’t get rid of the baby Anya is the father yes Jimmy is pregnant but that’s because in this#swap she assaulted a man lied to either say it was consensual he forced himself on her or like canon panicked and semi admitted to forcing#him either way he is afraid to do anything because men do get blamed for defending themselves against women in these situations not to#mention the shaming that occurs because he is a man and should step up for the kids sake and likely be told he should be proud a girl wanted#him that much like yes you have to explain it more but bodily autonomy in this scenario is just as nuanced and I can’t believe I have to#defend something being male centered in a game where the rape of a woman is the catalyst just because people are saying SA for men#is not as damaging or degrading or harmful to autonomy as it is to a woman like how can you want conversations on rape culture and shut down#people bringing up other nuances in the conversation#like people are gonna jump around with it I know but if you only want to talk about one thing stay in that sphere like I just don’t get#going to another space especially one that isn’t even being weird or toxic and starting shit cause you don’t like it like the amount of#unnecessary and mean comments on normal art of think pieces I’ve seen on Twitter is crazy like it’s stupid callout shit for the sake of just#not liking something like I’m seeing so much screen shotting and vague posting like just at the bitch and fight about it like it’s still a#relatively small fandom ur just asking for in fighting on like the few things we shouldn’t have to worry about#as a victim my self and who has been in other situations and being afab I just can’t understand the vitriol toward this sort of discussion#mouthwashing#actually I will tag this cause you can explore the themes in mouthwashing still stop being freaks and just block bitches ong
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lemongogo · 2 months ago
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oo u want 2 draw soo bad..
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#i hate that my ability to draw is so conditional#its soo frustrating but i dont know how to break it. this has been the one thing thats never changed.ill never be free#times like rn i just do studies but its soo fking BORINGGG euuhh...#but if i try 2 draw something for funsies i just stare at the blank canvas. literally immobile. & u know how people r like just draw#something anyways. a line. something. and its like no i cant do that oi cant even do that u underestimate my freak#i want 2attack myself from the pov of someone else#i think im having the realization tht i will never be able to do art stuff frls and its driving me crazy i think.#like im actually sick and unwell frm the thought of it.my friend commissioned me and im ab 2 send the money back#after two weeks bc i cant do it im literally frozen dude.i want 2 cry and die and explode into a million pieces#wait im back to add more.idk if anyone feels the same way but its like. i know its entirely a Me issue its a mental block issue#theres something thats not connecting in my head but its like.why is it so easy for everyone else ykwim...and thats a lie too right#like everyone else struggles w art and its not.it cant exist Without you struggling and practicing hard and trusting yourself#but in my brain im just convinced that like.i cant do this i cant do this like everyone else can do it like second nature and it freaks me#tf out#but also its the one thing i want to do more than anything else in my life and so like if i cant do it i dont know what to do.ughh.#not me freaking the fuck out rn lawl.lols.even#and on top of it i feel like i cant express myself well and i think my friend. < SOOO awesome and well meaning and NICE and legitimately#pushing me to try and believe that i can do this stuff but i feel like they wont understand the sort of like.mental block im struggling wit#like its less that i hate my art or something i dont its more like.i just feel soo physically restrained and incapable of doing it.suddenly#i cant think and i cant do anything.i have no creativity i have no ideas my mind is quite literally blank and empty
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girl the confession compulsions
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the-woman-upstairs · 7 months ago
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It’s just
so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience
but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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