#LIKE AUSTON HAS WATCHED GOOD FRIEND COME AND GO BUT HE WANTS THIS WITH MITCH!!!!!

[3416]

good morning, i still can't believe (yes i can) that a legitimate nhl insider is out here saying . yes the greatest goal scorer has an agreement in place with his team about WHO he plays with and it's understood that they will be longtime franchise players for the leafs as a duo. that is the plan. that is am34's plan for the leafs.

like i jsut. i.... in this sport where these men get torn apart for even Saying they have a preference bc its a team sport and they need to just accept whatever position they're put in... it's THAT important to wannabe-chill and lowkey auston matthews (read: actual control freak who Wants to appear a certain way) that he gets to play with mitch marner after being denied for a while as a rookie............ his favorite guy.... his apple tree......... his bff since rookie year....

that's part of his reason for staying a maple leaf and his longterm plan for being in toronto.......... bro. like to have theories about it vs to have an insider saying it's something that's openly discussed w the leafs org. to think about all the times auston gets bitchy with the media after being split w mitch or when they try to pry about something mitch and auston got pulled to the side for specifically.... god DAMN. im so emotional over them like they really do love each other so fucking much

i didn't realize when auston said "we would never do this without you" he meant it so seriously

[tkachuksoralfixation]

For those curious, here's a little excerpt of what i wrote :3 i will... Eventually release it. Maybe. It depends.

Its currently nameless but enjoy

Despite that absolutely shitty loss, Matthew gets up the next day for practice and he gives his all again. He shoulders it and moves on. And he does that for the entirety of the winter portion of the season, making it through road trip after flight after road trip. He's exhausted by the time All Star Weekend comes around, but he's glad for the days off. The late January air is kicking his ass, despite it being Florida of all places. Unlike literally everywhere else in the world, spring is in full motion in the unique place that is Sunrise, Florida, and it's making Matthew want to keel over and die.

He'd always had the worst allergies in the spring. Maybe it was just that he spent most of his childhood in places that made his fingers nearly freeze off that spring wasn't as bad, but god was the pollen horrible in the lower states of the US. He felt like he was suffocating every time he stepped outside.

That being said, Matthew enjoys his time off from thinking about making the playoffs. He thinks, now, about how he's gone through an entire box of tissues trying to clear his sinuses and at least half a bottle of nasal spray. He begins to think he has a cold or a sinus infection or something, but the medical staff on site said he was fine, so all he can bring it back to is allergies.

Fucking allergy season. Kiss All Star Matthew Tkachuk's ass.

He continues to be miserable the first couple of days he's in town. He and the other teammates that made it on the roster had flown in early, having no games prior to the weekend off. Grateful for their four day weekend, they landed in Florida two days early, and Matthew nearly spent the entire first night curled up in his hotel room a miserable mess. Maybe he was being dramatic. Maybe the pollen particles were waging war on Matthew Tkachuk himself and literally no one else. He was miserable, that's all that mattered.

The morning after, he woke up with a nose so stuffed he thought for a good few minutes he would never be able to breathe again. And then he took an allergy pill, blew his nose as much as humanly possible, and used the rest of the tiny bottle of nasal spray he'd gotten at the airport. That shit had been ten dollars and he hadn't even gotten a day's use out of it. Now that was some bullshit if he's ever seen it.

Thirty minutes later, his nose was dry and he finally felt peace. The relief that flooded his chest felt better than a blanket fresh out of the dryer, and that's fucking saying something. Well enough to go out and have fun, though, Matthew promised all of his friends in town for the day that they'd spend time together. It was rare that they were all under the same roof, the lens of competitive hockey nature out of the way. Really, he genuinely looked forward to it.

He had lunch reservations with Auston, Mitch, and a couple of the guys he flew in with. Standard stuff, just shooting the shit and hanging out. Their group was rushing out of the hotel, a tad behind on getting there, when someone shouldered him at the back of the group. He should've seen it coming, really, but he was in a rush and trying to keep up with the already pretty intimidating size of their group.

"Hey, watch where you're-" a familiar voice snaps, then screeches to a halt as he whips towards Matthew. Granted, he was stunning, he couldn't blame anyone for being so enraptured with him that they stopped speaking, but Leon Draisaitl was not one of those people. In fact, Matthew was sure he'd only ever stop like that if he was jaw-droppingly ugly, like a cake made to look like a baby that got dropped on the floor one too many times.

"What?" Matthew reaches up to touch his face, "Too beautiful for you? Keep moving, Draisaitl."

Draisaitl blinks slowly. Matthew was already far behind his group. No way he'll catch up now. "Uh," his eyes search Matthew's face, and then his hand, and that's when Matthew realizes something has to be wrong. "You. Um. Dude, you're covered in blood."

Matthew looks down at his hand from where he had touched his nose, and, yeah that was a lot of blood. "Oh, yeah, that'll do it." Suddenly his head starts swimming, and maybe he shouldn't have overdone it with the nasal spray. Or maybe the stupid weather change was getting to him and it gave him brain damage, or whatever the hell causes nosebleeds. He looks out to where his friends have already pushed out of the busy hotel doors. He'll have to call and tell them he'll be there later.

Seemingly horrified, Draisaitl looks around the room before his gaze inevitably comes back to Matthew. "You are way too calm for there to be blood pouring out of your face," he jabs, hooking his hand in Matthew's arm and dragging him god knows where. He's not really up for fighting it. "Is this, like, normal or something? Or did you just happen to have a nosebleed the second I walked into you?"

Shrugging, Matthew finally sees their destination is the men's restroom. The hotel is pretty fancy, so it's one of those single public restrooms with an actual toilet that shuts. He's grateful that his nice pants won't be tarnished by random bathroom germs. "Well, you know, I just thought it would be funny if I had a nosebleed the second you appeared. Because I totally saw you coming." He grins up at Draisaitl, who scowls and shoves him over to the toilet.

"Sit down, you dick. You're lucky I'm even helping you at all." He very clearly bites back anything more offensive. Matthew can't help but make fun of him for it as he sits.

"Oh, is that what this is?" Matthew laughs, watching Draisaitl do whatever the hell it is he's doing over by the sink. "Well, thanks, but I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy."

When Draisaitl turns around, he's got a condescending look on his face. An eyebrow raised, face wrinkled in that permanent frown of his. "It looks like you dipped the lower half of your face into a plate of spaghetti." He says it so nonchalantly and Matthew is so caught off guard, his mouth drops open in disbelief.

It takes him a moment to think of something in response. The fog in his brain is to blame for that, he thinks, because normally he has no issues keeping up with Leon Draisaitl when they're chirping and insulting each other. "You're messing with me." Matthew guesses, studying Draisaitl's stony face. He doesn't even crack a smile to show he's kidding in the slightest. "It doesn't actually look like that, right? It can't be that bad."

Draisaitl shrugs and makes his way over, a couple wet paper towels in each hand. "It's pretty bad," he chuckles, finally, and Matthew relaxes ever so slightly. He kind of hates that he does as Draisaitl crowds around him, his touch gentle as he tips Matthew's head up to face him. There's something so precarious, so strange, so intimate about it that doesn't feel like two guys in a bathroom cleaning up. Matthew internally hopes the blood on his face masks the way he flushes. "I'm surprised you didn't notice," he says as he carefully drags a paper towel against his upper lip, "I mean, you talk so much I can imagine some of it had to have gotten in your mouth."

"Okay, ouch," Matthew grumbles, trying to pull away, but Draisaitl's hand stabilizes him and keeps him in place. It sends a little shock into his gut. "Listen, we were running late to our lunch reservation, I didn't really have time to think, okay? I just-"

Matthew is promptly interrupted by a phone ringing. Oh, shit, he forgot he had to call his friends. Leon pulls away as Matthew scrambled for his phone, not even looking at who in his group was calling before hitting answer. He can barely even get out an explanation before a very loud, concerned voice broke through.

[leafs-lover]

Too Far Gone - Part Fifty One

A/N: There was supposed to be another cute/fluffy part before this but I figured you were getting bored of all the softness and decided to mix it up.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drinking, talks of mental health - anxiety, a little angst

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 5900

Coming home Auston is beat.

It wasn’t a particularly long trip, only gone for three nights, but for some reason he just feels mentally drained. He has for weeks.

The first time he noticed was the Sunday morning of the All-Star weekend. He spent the days before taking Taylour around the city, bringing him to the dressing rooms to meet the players (he was only really interested in Fred and Mitch) and all the mascots, they watched the skills competitions and games with his family. It was a great couple of days in St. Louis, so great Auston posted a picture of Taylour to his story for the first time, ever. You couldn’t see his face, could barely see any part of him with the puffy jacket and toque he had on, but something about it felt good. Even though there were press releases where Auston acknowledged he had a kid, a couple interviews where he’d casually say “my son” in an answer, it felt as if he was hiding Taylour from the world. He didn’t want Taylour to grow up and think he was embarrassed or ashamed of him because that couldn’t be further from the truth - media and fans haven’t shown they deserve to see that part of his life.

It didn’t come without consequences. Thousands of messages on Instagram, screenshots ending up on every other social media platform, but Auston didn’t worry about any of that. He only concerned himself with Tia’s response, and the heart emoji showed she was okay with the decision.

On the Saturday night he, Fred and Mitch ventured out, along with Connor McDavid, Leon Draisaitl, Matthew Tkachuk, Mat Barzal and a few other players. They had dinner and drinks, then they had shots. They shared stories of themselves and other players in the league. They all talked with a group of women; Fred ducked out early to go home with one of those women.

At 1:30, Auston climbed into bed and opened his phone. He ventured to Instagram and watched Tia’s stories – who spent the night out with friends celebrating her first official sale. She was practically bursting out of a low-cut, tight, emerald green crop top, her skirt was short and her boots stopped just below the knee. Auston saw and loved the outfit, that wasn’t what he focused on. His favourite part was how happy she looked.

Once he watched all of Tia’s stories, Becks started to play. He watched every single one of hers, smiling at the videos of Tia dancing - a few drinks always unleashed her quirky side. He even watched the one where she was in the background, talking to a blonde at the bar while Becks fumbled around with the camera, trying to focus on Camille and Emily who were singing wildly off-key to The Backstreet Boys. Auston laughed, he could practically smell the alcohol through the screen, or maybe that was his own.

He woke up early, surprisingly without a hangover. He FaceTimed Tia to confirm the plans to pick up Alex and Taylour at Pearson. In that moment he felt fine, then he tried to make plans for them to celebrate as a family, and it felt like she blew him off. She fed him something about being busy with school (midterms were coming up), working at the store and getting the order out. Auston understood and didn’t push it, but it just kept happening.

Any time he’d see her he’d casually bring it up and she always had a reason not to. It felt like pulling teeth. There were thirteen days where Auston was in Toronto and didn’t have a game, that she could have picked from.

The only reason he got her to a restaurant was because he told Taylour it was her birthday, and she couldn’t say no to him. He tried to tell himself it was all in his head; Tia was actually busy and not ignoring him. The dinner fell on her reading week, and she should have been somewhat more relaxed. She could barely look him in the eye, and 90% of what she said was ‘hmm’ or ‘yeah.’ It shouldn’t have been that hard.

That was when he knew Tia was shutting him out. He didn’t know what caused it, everything on the surface seemed to be going well. She had a few more sales, she aced all her midterms, and when he asked Becks, she laughed him off and said she’d never seen Tia so happy.

She wasn’t upset or letting her mental health deteriorate. She wasn’t grappling with knowing Kylie lived on the other side of town, she wasn’t searching either of their names on Twitter or Tumblr. She had a problem with him.

Their usually playful banter was gone. FaceTime’s where they’d spend the entire time talking because Taylour was asleep completely stopped. Instead, he’d get texts that said “Taylour’s asleep, can’t talk.”

Days either dragged on or went by in a blur. He couldn’t focus on what people were saying or doing around him. When he stepped on the ice he managed to tune it all out and play hockey, but once the gear came off Auston shut down. The more she pulled away the more he felt himself fade. At this point he doesn’t what he needs to feel better, if anything can even help, but he needs something to bring him out of the haze.

His bag lands with a heavy thud by the door, he is too bothered to carry it to his room. He kicks his sneakers against the wall and tosses his keys on the small table a few feet away. With his head down he slips his hand into the pocket of his hoodie and lights up the screen. Defeated when he doesn’t see Tia’s name on the screen.

He’s so out of it, moving robotically, that he doesn’t even recognize the sounds coming from his living room. The clattering of plastic and faint giggles. He rounds the corner and Taylour drops one of the cars for the Paw Patrol tower which causes Auston’s head to snap up. So perplexed by what is happening he doesn’t even attempt to welcome the tiny body barreling his way; instead, Taylour runs right into his leg.

“Taylour?” Auston calls out, wondering if this is real.

“Hi, Daddy!” His entire face is glowing.

“What are you doing here?” Auston bends down and picks him up, bringing him in for a tight hug.

“I’m playing with my tower,” Taylour simply explains. 

“Yeah, I see that,” he lets out a quiet laugh, knowing his son doesn’t really understand the question. “Is your mom here?”

“Mhm.” Taylour nods.

“Where is she?” Auston gently pokes his side to prompt him further.

“I don’t know.” Taylour squirms and lets out a soft giggle, one of Auston’s favourite sounds. “Maybe the kitchen.”

She isn’t. Apart from the coffee pot that’s half full of cold coffee, there is no evidence she was ever there.

“I’m going to find her.” Auston kisses Taylour’s temple as he lowers him to his feet. “Then I’ll come play with you.”

“Okay, Daddy!” He emphatically nods.

Auston waited for a second to watch Taylour, worried that if he blinked Taylour could disappear. Even though he heard his voice, smelt his hair, and felt his touch, he still couldn’t believe it was real. Tia long ago was given a key, but only used it those couple days at Christmas. In fact, she rarely even comes to his apartment. He is the one with a car, it makes more sense for him to drive ten minutes than for her and Taylour to sit on a bus for almost forty minutes.

When Auston finally accepts this is real, Taylour is there and not some incredibly vivid hallucination, he turns around and walks back toward the door. He once again leaves the bag by the door, then ventures down the hall. He first stops at Taylour’s room, but she isn’t there – the bed is made, perfectly, with tight corners, pillows and stuffed animals neatly arranged – she was there at some point.

He pokes his head in the spare room, the bed is made which again could be Tia, but nothing else is out of place. There isn’t a hairbrush or face cream on the dresser, there is no sweater folded on the bed – left out for when she inevitably gets cold – and the faint scent of her perfume doesn’t linger in the air. The bathroom too is empty, along with the laundry. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she wasn’t there.

Then he hears it.

A mumbled curse word, followed by a loud clattering sound coming from his closet.

He has spent hours in her room, slept in her bed every night for months, but he can’t remember a time Tia was in his. Auston is so fixated on how peculiar everything is, he ignores the mountain of clothes on the various pieces of furniture, the Rubbermaid totes overflowing with sneakers and stacks of hats on the dresser.

Tia is so fixated on what she is doing she doesn’t even notice him. Pieces of wood, rods, and bags of screws and bolts scattered around. His drill is pushed to the corner and a pencil is tucked behind her ear, holding back her chestnut hair that is simply blow-dried. She is on her hands and knees, hunched over a set of Ikea instructions, spinning a screw in her hand.

“Who puts two screws in the same bag without labeling them,” she utters. “They are the exact same, but one is longer, how do I know if this –“

“What are you doing?” Auston leans against the doorframe, his voice drawing up her gaze. 

“I thought I had more time.” She drops the instructions and flicks her wrist to glance at the watch, then looks back up at him. 

“To remove all the clothes you dislike?” He queries, joking slightly. 

“Not enough time for that,” she dismisses teasingly, then turns her attention back to the instructions. “I’m trying to install these organizers.” 

Reaching down he grips her wrists and forces her to her feet - the only way to get her full attention. “Why are you installing organizers in my closet.”

Her eyes drop to the side. Tia doesn’t have the strength to look in his eyes and tell him. Wave after wave of anxious energy rolls off her. If she had the stomach for breakfast, it likely would reappear. But she couldn’t eat, has barely eaten in days.

“Tia?” Her behaviour does little to settle his nerves, in fact it does the opposite. His heart is pounding and one of his hands is bound in a fist, so tight his nails carve into his palm, but he doesn’t notice. With his free hand Auston grabs her chin and forces her to look his way. “Talk to me,” he pleads, desperately.

“I –“ she whispers, unable to speak with any sort of authority. Her eyes dart all over the place, never meeting his burning gaze until a thumb begins to sweep over her jaw. It’s such a simple touch, something he has done countless times before, and like every time before it works, she is looking at him. His usually warm and grounding eyes are panicked, desperate to be let in, but there is still a softness to them, one that gets her every time.

She rises to her tippy toes and wraps her arms around his neck. Her fingers tug at the baby hairs on the nape of his neck she lets out a soft sigh following the first brush of their lips - she missed the way he felt, the way he tastes. She tries not to think of the million ways this could end badly. She tries. And for a moment everything is amazing, perfect even. She swears Auston returns the kiss, which is all she needs to sink into it and tug on his curls a little harder.

Then Auston pulls away.

A wide and sweet smile is pressed to her face, she rises to her tippy toes again. This time Auston pushes her down to the floor and takes a step back, creating space between them.

“Tia?”

Auston is frozen. He was confused enough by her behaviour the last few weeks; he doesn’t even know where to start processing this. Did it actually happen, or is this still a very vivid hallucination?  

Her face twists into a mix of embarrassment and disappointment. She gasps. Horrified. Absolutely horrified. “I…I am so sorry,” she quickly fumbles out. What has she done?

She takes a step over an assembled drawer and tries to maneuver around him when he throws an arm in front of her stomach. Tia tries to swat at Auston’s arm, she can barely handle his concerned gaze, there is no way she can allow his touch.

“Please,” she croaks. A lump in her throat blocks the oxygen from reaching her lungs.

“Tia.” He almost laughs, how could she think he’d let her go?”

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

Auston’s voice is scarily calm. “But you did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just explain.”

Auston feels Tia lean back on her heals and his arm drops, the two of them stand just inches apart. The air that sits between them is heavy, so much that needs to be said but not enough words to say it. 

Neither one knows how long they stand there. Seconds bleed into what feels like hours. Breathing in the same air, barely able to hear the others shaky exhales over the pounding of their own heart. Tia uses all her strength to not crumble then and there. She never saw it going like this.

“Mommy!” Taylour’s voice ruptures the silence. “Mommy!” Two little feet pitter on the wood floor, and his voice getting louder. “Mommy, can I have a snack?”

“You want a snack?” Tia waits until he is in the closet to speak.

“Yes please!” He bashfully smiles.

“Okay.”

This time Auston let her go, he had to. He took a minute to compose himself as best he could, and when he finally emerged the kitchen was quiet. Taylour was sitting on a barstool, shoveling yogurt into his mouth and Tia had her back to him. She was gripping the counter tight, and her feet looked tethered to the floor.

Auston carded his hand through Taylour’s hair as he walked by, earning a muffled giggle. Then he walked over to Tia and found her biting on her thumb nail. Her face was white, but she is deep in thought.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?”

He sweeps he hair back behind her shoulder, providing him a better view of her face. She jumps at the contact.

“Nothing.” She whispers out, barely able to think straight. 

“You don’t kiss me like that and not talk about it.”

While it was unexpected and left him confused, it was the kind of kiss Auston could have gotten lost in. Her lips were soft yet warm and the sweet moan she let out almost caused his heart to explode. He could have spent hours exploring her, letting them fuse together. It reminded him of the kiss she surprised him with on their first date, the kind of kiss that used to keep him up at night. Unfortunately, over the last year it’s been the kind of kiss that has accompanied pain.

“I said it was a mistake,” she practically hisses.

“Tia.”

Auston grabs her by the shoulders and spins her around. She says nothing.

“Whether you want to or not, we are talking about this.”

She says nothing.

“Tia Grace Adams!” He finally speaks with authority, so much so it surprises them both.

“I like you okay!” The words come out before she has a chance to stop them. Hot embarrassment floods her face, only getting worse when his shoulders fall and eyes flutter closed. She wishes she said anything but that; surely she could have made up an excuse if she tried.

“You like me?”

Tia just nods.

She spent days trying to convince herself didn’t have feelings for him. And for a moment she believed it, then she made her first sale, he was the first person she told. The next night while out with her friends, Tia kept looking to the empty seat at the end of the table, she found herself wishing he was sitting in it. And later when Brody with his charming smile and charismatic personality approached Tia at the bar, she could only notice the ways he wasn’t Auston. Everything she did, grocery shopping, walking to get a coffee, she kept wanting him to be there, and every time something happened, no matter how big or small, she wanted to phone and tell him.

She hoped if she kept blowing him off he’d give up on the notion of taking her. He didn’t. He kept asking, anytime he saw her, and she couldn’t keep coming up with reasons to say no. Being around him was suffocating, but in the best way possible.

It took her a little bit, but she finally admitted to Heidi she had feelings for Auston. Heidi just smiled, in a way that said she already knew that but was happy Tia came to that conclusion. They spent the next few sessions talking about that and what Tia wanted. Now that she had admitted her feelings it was easy, she wanted Auston.

“You like me.” Auston repeats after a shaky breath. He takes another and then another, then pushes all the air out of his lungs and runs a hand down his face. Stroking over the stubble on his chiseled jaw, he breathes deeply again.

“Yeah.”

“You like me.” 

He blinks in disbelief.  

She nods. 

Auston doesn’t know why he is so dumbfounded by Tia’s admission. He held out hope for months she would tell him this exact thing, but as time wore on, he accepted this wouldn’t be the case. This shouldn’t be happening. 

“You like me.” 

“Can you say something, anything other than that,” she pleads. 

“I just…I don’t know what else to say,” he answers dejectedly, making her heart sink. “I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“Sorry for kissing you out of the blue –“ 

“I handled that better than this,” he scoffs.

“Daddy.” Taylour tugs at the hem of his shirt and looks up at him with beady brown eyes. “You play with me now?”

Auston looks down at Taylour and nods. “Yeah. That I can do.”

**

Tia had no idea what to do once Auston walked into the living room with Taylour. She didn’t want to talk, he begged her to only to repeat the same thing over and over then walk away. He sat on the floor and accepted the Skye figurine Taylour handed him. He put her at the top of the tower and sent her down the zipline. He pressed buttons and even laughed at some of the things Taylour said, he seemingly forgot about everything that transpired between them.

He didn’t.

He couldn’t.

It was all he could think about.

Taylour created some wild fictional story, a mystery they needed to solve. He would move the cars back and forth, give Auston instructions and laugh. Auston pressed the buttons to turn on the sound effects, he’d move Skye from point A to point B and smile whenever Taylour glanced his way. But he could not do anything else.

At some point a ministick was shoved in his hand, it took the ball hitting Auston’s ankle three times before he made an attempt to join in. Even then the ball would bounce over his stick or roll by because he just could not focus on it. His mind was caught on a loop, replaying Tia saying, ‘I like you’ and him…saying nothing.

Tia hoped that because her heart had been yanked from her chest, the rest of the day would have been blur. She felt it all.

Heidi tried to prepare Tia for the possibility Auston wouldn’t feel the same way, but Tia never considered that a possibility. In her mind, there was no way he didn’t. If she ignored the late-night FaceTime’s when Taylour is asleep, the kisses they shared, the way he looked at her and the fact he repeatedly told her that he loved her (never that he was in love with her, but Tia could read between the lines) there was still Fred. Every time he has seen her in the last three months, he has made a point of calling her out for having feelings for Auston. If Auston didn’t feel that way about her, why did his best friend care so much?

She played this situation out a hundred times and not once did it end this way. Every single time he kissed her back, said he had been waiting to hear her say that, and their clothes on a bedroom floor.

The door was barely closed before the phone was in her hand. It took everything for her to not fall apart sitting on a barstool in her ex-boyfriend’s kitchen, she couldn’t take anymore.

“Yeah.” Abby huffs into the phone after seven rings. Tia didn’t expect her to answer, they haven’t spoke in weeks. If the situation were reversed Tia wouldn’t answer, but she always let her ego get in the way.

“I kissed him Abs, I just...I kissed him.” Tia fumbles out, frantically pacing around the mess of clothes in Auston’s room.

“You kissed him?” The sound of running water stops on the other end, then wood scrapes as Abby sits down to focus.

“Yeah.” Tia admits. 

“That’s amazing Tia, I’m so hap –“ Her friend’s voice softens, Tia can feel the warm smile which only makes this worse.

“He stopped…he pulled away…” Tia’s voice trembles.

“What? Why did he do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“What happened?” Abby asks sternly.

“I kissed him, and he kissed me back. Then he just stopped. He seemed confused when I said I liked him, like I suddenly had two heads.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Abby laughs. “Why would he be confused when you say you like him but proceed to kiss you?”

“I told him after the kiss.”

“Tia,” Abby groans and lets her head fall. “What did you do?”

“I…I don’t know.”

Tia’s voice snaps. Warm tears well in her eyes and as she lets out a shaky exhale they begin to fall. Abby doesn’t say anything, she just listens to Tia cry through the speaker. Five minutes later, when she has a sliver of composure Tia starts to tell Abby what happened.

“I’m proud of you,” Abby says after minutes of incoherent rambling when she can finally piece it together.

“I ruined everything,” Tia laughs through the pain.

Subconsciously, Tia brings her left hand up and bites at the hangnail on her thumb. She frantically blinks, hoping to rid the tears from her eyes.

“That’s not true, you just surprised him.”

“Gee, you don’t say?”

“How long did it take for you to get to that conclusion?”

“I told Heidi a couple weeks ago… but you know it’s been way longer than that.”

Abby laughs to herself, the closest she’s going to get to you were right.

“Mhm, and don’t you think Auston deserves more that five seconds to draw a conclusion?”

Tia sighs and falls back onto bed. Abby is right, of course she is. Tia allowed herself time to get to this point, and as much as it may hurt, shouldn’t she give Auston the same courtesy?

“What do I do now?”

“You need to talk to him and let him know this wasn’t an impulse. That you spent weeks processing your feelings, discussed it in therapy before doing anything. You tell him to take his time and that you aren’t expecting an answer right away.” Tia continues to nod through the speaker, if only she put her ego aside maybe this could have been avoided.

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Tia shudders at the thought.

“There is nothing you can do.” Even though it’s not the answer Tia wants, Abby doesn’t sugar coat it. “If that’s how he feels, I help you pick up the pieces.”

Tia releases all the air in her lungs. She knows should have considered this from the beginning, but she knew if her mind was allowed to wander to the possibility, she never would have had the courage to tell him. Now all she can think is how arrogant and ignorant she was to have thought that way.

“Tia?”

“Yeah?”

“You have to stop hiding.”

Tia took a few more minutes to gather herself. She sat on the edge of the bed and thought about what Abby said, tried to remember what Heidi had told her – considering she spent the entire time Heidi talked thinking I won’t need this, it proved to be a little challenging.

With a deep breath to settle her heart, Tia reached for the handle. She thought the slight breeze from the door opening was going to knock the air from her lungs, but what did was Auston, standing inches away, about to open the door from the other side.

“Oh.” Tia gasps. “Sorry.” She shakes her head. “I’m just –“

Auston jumps, just as surprised to see Tia. He knew she ventured down the hall, but once again, he didn’t expect to find her in his room.

“Okay.”

Auston shuffles to the side to let her by. They don’t say anything. They don’t even look at the other. Auston’s brows are drawn together, and he has no colour left in his face, still in a state of shock over everything that has transpired over the last four hours. Tia can only wonder how long he stood at that door, and how much he heard.

**

Auston and Tia moved somewhat robotically after that. She had been gone so long Auston made lunch, she couldn’t eat. She took the plate and placed it in the fridge, then made herself small, curled into a corner of the couch.

Tia heard the shower start, then stop a few minutes later. She heard faint muttering as he maneuvered the various bins and piles trying to find something. She heard plastic scrape along the floor, banging and cursing as he stepped on something that shouldn’t be on the floor. He wasn’t putting anything back, he did not have the mental capacity to look at Ikea instructions, but he needed space to walk and space to sleep. He spent some time stacking all the pieces for the closet storage system together in a pile, so they were out of the way but wouldn’t get misplaced. He closed the Rubbermaid totes, stacked them and left a few pairs of shoes on top for easy access. He pushed everything into corners, against the wall, and threw piles of clothes that were left scattered around on top.

He found Tia’s bag, open, in his room. He left it where it was and set her pajamas on a beside table. He left her hairbrush and toothbrush in the bathroom, set the couple hair elastics he found in a pile. The more he moved around the more he realized this wasn’t an impulse. There were enough clothes in her bag to last almost a week, the three hair elastics and products in his shower indicated she had been there for a few days, not just in his apartment but in his room.

Hours went by and neither one had said anything. Tia knew she should be the first to speak. She wanted to tell him everything. She just sat on the couch, picturing his response.

I’m sorry Tia.

I don’t feel the same way.

This isn’t a good idea.

Too much has happened.

We’re better off as friends.

I’m seeing someone. She’s great, I think you’ll like her.

I’m sorry.

Her heart breaks as those words ring in her ears. She is dizzy. Tears burn her eyes, and she fights to keep them at bay.

Auston heard her sniffling. A lot. It took every ounce of strength to not scoop her up and hold her tight. The heavy silence and suffocating tension broke him, it shouldn’t be like this. They shouldn’t be like this.

After dinner (another meal Tia didn’t eat), Taylour wanted to watch a movie, and on went Toy Story 3. He smiled and laughed and after everything, would turn to one of them with wide eyes and a big grin asking, did you see that? Auston always answered, smiled and tried to sound enthused. Tia, she could barely acknowledge him.

It scared him to see her like this and he hoped it was temporary. He’s met this version of Tia before, but always hoped that’d be the last time. This version of Tia is reminiscent of the one who stopped caring and hadn’t showered for days, her hair was tangled, laundry and dishes were piling up and she didn’t even care. This is the Tia from right after the article came out, the Tia from September that tried to fight through an insurmountable amount of pain alone. The previous times he met this version he was partially to blame, this time it was all on him.

He did this to her.

He broke her.

The credits began to roll long after Taylour fell asleep. Trailers for similar movies appeared and they watched them all. Then the Disney home screen reappeared, and they sat, staring at it for what felt like hours (it was less than three minutes) before Auston slithered out from underneath and carried Taylour down the hall.

As if Tia’s anxiety wasn’t through the roof, that was the moment it all started to become too much. Her palms became clammy, and heartrate began to accelerate. No matter how hard she tried to focus on it, she couldn’t seem to catch her breath.

Up until this point there was a reason to not talk about it – Taylour. Now that he was asleep, there was no buffer, Tia couldn’t hide her crippling anxiety and fears, she couldn’t avoid the heartbreak anymore. He deserved honesty, but she didn’t think she could handle his. At least not right now.

“You like me?” Auston asks, taking a seat beside her. If Tia didn’t know better, she’d think that’s all he could say. 

“Yeah.” She replies, as if that’s all she can say.

Tia finally turns and looks at him, the first time in hours, and that’s when she realizes he looks like hell – heavy dark bags linger on his hollow cheeks, he twists the watch on his left wrist round and round. His nostrils flare and he chews on the inside of his cheek, a nervous tick.

“I’m sorry for kissing you, for just throwing this at you. I know it’s a lot.” As she turns to look at him her hand fans over his thigh ever so briefly. He flinches. It’s small, barely noticeable, but it’s there. Tia would have missed it if she hadn’t become an expert at reading him, something she wishes she wasn’t. “I’m sorry.” 

“How um…how…” Auston clears his throat and lets his shoulders drop. His eyes are trained ahead, he tries to think of how best to approach this. He needs to be delicate, tug at the string until it slowly unravels. “Are you still taking your meds?” 

Neither delicate nor slow. 

“Every day.” Tia nods. She wishes that wasn’t his first response, to assume her mental health had collapsed. “Heidi actually thinks we can start cutting my dose back soon.” 

“That’s good,” his response is barely a whisper. 

“She’s been telling me to do this for a few weeks now. To tell you.” 

Auston’s eyes widen at her admission. “How long have you liked me?” 

“I only admitted it a couple weeks ago, but Heidi knew before that. She said it became obvious at Christmas.” 

“Christmas!” There is only shock in his voice. “That was two months ago!” 

“Yeah.” Tia nods.

“I feel like I’ve had a pretty good read on you, but you’ve had feelings for me for two months and I didn’t know!” 

“Apparently,” Tia nods again. “I only admitted it a couple weeks ago though.”

“But do you think she’s right? Have you been feeling this way for over two months?”

According to Heidi, Tia has felt this way since before Halloween but there were more pressing issues to focus on. Heidi knew that Tia would only admit her feelings for Auston when she was mentally and emotionally ready to take that step. which is why she left it well enough alone. Maybe there would have come a time where Heidi prompted the discussion, but Tia got there first.

Tia’s face scrunches up in confusion. Halloween, Christmas or two weeks ago, what difference does it make? How is this what he is fixated on?

“Yes.”

Auston flies off the couch before Tia can even react and starts to walk quickly, back and forth, around the living room. He paces, and he paces, and he paces.

His skin flushes and he scrapes a hand through his hair, then along his jaw, and over the back of his neck. He speaks, quietly, incoherently, to himself. He paces, and he paces, and he paces, stumbling over the toys that litter the living room.

Her eyes water and a heavy ball forms in her throat. She lets out a soft sniffle and water droplets begin to stain her sweater. She watches him. She waits.

She doesn’t know for what or how long it will take, but he’ll figure it out. It took him a month to visit after he found out about Taylour, almost another month to decide to be a part of Taylour’s life. She hopes it isn’t as long for him to process this, but she knows that eventually he’ll find what he’s looking for.

“What were you doing in my room?” He comes to a complete stop; his eyes are white with panic. “In my closet?”

“I thought that if we did this,” she points between them, “I would leave some stuff here. A couple pairs of jeans, some shoes. A sweater or two. I was just trying to make space, one thing led to another, and I was building shelves. I don’t know.”

Tia stands up and sniffs, no longer trying to hide the fact that she’s crying. She thought she had learned to accept heartache; she never realized the hardest part would be having to mourn someone who was still in her life. “I’m going to bed. Can you watch him while I’m at therapy tomorrow?” Her voice cracks and Auston just nods in response. “I really am sorry Auston.” She only speaks once she’s almost out of the room, away from him. “I should have done this differently; I was so sure you were going to say yes.”

“I never said no.” Auston whispers, but she’s long gone.

Taglist: If you are in this list you have expressed interest in the series (either through likes/reblogs or by asking). If it’s crossed out your tag didn’t work. If you would like to be removed or added to the list send me an ask:

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[fear-of-flyers]

orange juice

tracklist

<<play last current song play next>>

featured lyric(s): "feels like i've been ready for you to come home, for so long. that i didn't think to ask you where you'd gone" + "you said my heart has changed and my soul has changed" + "are we all just pulling you down?"

parental advisory: mentions of alcohol (nothing underaged), hints at addiction, angst [flashbacks in italics]

“i think i’m ready to try this again.” 

that was the text you sent to mitch on a cold tuesday morning in toronto, 3 weeks since the last time you had set foot in his apartment. the reason you left wasn’t entirely anyone’s fault, you and mitch had been having issues that had all stemmed from a lack of communication. you had taken to going out with your friends and getting drunk while mitch went out with his and a month into your new post-night out argument routine you realized you needed to make a change. 

“i don’t want to do this anymore mitch.” you said, sitting on the edge your bed watching mitch pace back and forth in front of you. “i can’t do this anymore.” mitch stopped pacing and walked over to you, eyes wide with an emotion you wished you could place. “do you want to break up y/n? are you kidding me?” he asked, fighting desperately to hold eye contact as you looked anywhere else. “i don’t know mitch.” you responded, “i just can’t keep up with this. you aren’t ever ready to talk, and i know i haven’t been perfect but this can’t be healthy; i can’t keep getting drunk.” the silence that followed was enough for you to move to the guest room for the night and pack a bag the next day. you left while mitch was at practice, a note sitting on the island that read “i want this to work, really. i’ll text when i’m ready to talk. hope you’ll be ready too.”

and now here you are, standing outside of the door to mitch’s (your?) apartment, listening to familiar footsteps make their way to the door. “hi,” mitch said, the sliver of smile full of hope on his face. the two of you took each other in as he opened the door wider and stepped back, inviting you in. “can i hug you?” he asked, opening his arms slightly. instead of answering you stepped closer and put your arms around his torso, relishing in the feeling of being held. the two of you stood like that for what felt like an eternity, wrapped up in each other in front of an open door until you finally broke the silence. “i can’t remember the last time we did this.” you said, stepping into your own space. “i think that’s part of the reason i left, i needed to remember what i missed so much.” 

“and what did you miss?” mitch asked, knowing exactly what he wanted your answer to be. you simply said “you. mitch i missed you so much. i miss our date nights and game nights with the team and karaoke with auston and willy. i missed being sober more often than i wasn’t.” and it was a lot to take in so mitch walked to the kitchen as he processed, signaling for you to follow him. “do you want something to drink?” he asked, opening the fridge. “i got the orange juice you like when you texted that you were ready to talk. and i heard you stopped drinking. i’m happy for you y/n, like really-” you stood in the doorway to the kitchen as mitch said all this, taking in the energy you had missed in your absence. “i’ll take some juice mitchy.” you said, interrupting his fast paced speaking as you moved to sit at the island. you watched him pour the juice before asking “are you okay? you just seem nervous.”

“i think i am.” he said, finally turning to face you. “not in a bad way, i promise. it just feels like i’ve been ready for you to come home since you left and i’m worried i’m gonna fuck it all up again. i didn’t even think to ask you where you went.” when mitch finished talking he looked up at you, worried about your reaction. what he didn’t expect was for you to be smiling. “it’s good to hear all this mitch. this is the communication i’d been missing before i’d left. and maybe you didn’t ask where i was but i don’t need you too. i just need you to be present. i’ve changed more than i thought possible in 3 weeks but no amount of change is gonna stop me from loving you.” with that you got up and walked to where mitch was standing, taking his hands in yours. “you didn’t do it all mitch, i played my part in this too.” mitch sighed, “i know,” he said. “i think that from what i’ve seen and heard you’ve been doing so well without me and i worry that i’m pulling you down. i love you so much y/n, more than i’ve ever loved anyone before and i think that’s why i was so distant; i couldn’t imagine losing you.”

“you’ll never lose me mitchy.” you said, pulling him into another much needed hug. “not ever. especially not now that we know what we need to do to communicate effectively. you can’t get rid of me now.” in response you felt mitch press a kiss to your hair as his arms tightened around your shoulders, “i don’t ever want to get rid of you y/n. as a matter of fact, i’m never letting go.”

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Hey so i need to get this off my chest, i actually had a dream about carson etc and it was carson was feeling sick and so she handed mia off to willy and he had a press interview (ps in Sweden) so he was just holding her doing the interview and a reporter asked about his contract and maybe leaving the team and mia just said no her willys not leaving and held him tighter!!!

Omg stop the way I saw “I need to get this off my chest” and immediately got stressed 🤣 no reason to be after reading the rest of your message hahaha. But please ugh ok like maybe Auston’s off doing something else and Carson’s waiting with Mia for him and Willy is nearby talking with them and just an intense wave of nausea hits Carson and Willy sees that she physically pales and asks if she’s ok and she tries to play it off but she can’t so she asks Willy if he can watch Mia for a moment, which he has no issue doing. He tells her “of course” and then kinda just watches as Carson rushes away to get to the nearest washroom because she’s gonna be sick and like that has Willy a little bit like 🤨 cause clearly something is up and he wonders of Auston knows especially with how she tried to play it off so much. Anyways, he doesn’t ask questions. He’s just happy to help and so he’s chatting with Mia as he holds her and then someone comes along and tells him that they need him to do media asap. And Willy is like “ok ok but can it wait a minute? Carson needed me to watch Mia” and he’s told it can’t wait. So he doesn’t know what to do and asks if anyone knows where Auston or even Mitch, JT or Mo are because taking Mia to media with him doesn’t even cross his mind especially because he knows that Carson and Auston very much so keep Mia’s life private for her and like don’t even post her on social media unless her face isn’t showing or she’s with them or a trusted family member/friend and ofc Willy respects that. So he panics a little bit because he can’t leave Mia with just anyone but none of her guys are near and she’s clung right to him. The person that tells Willy he needs to do media says they can watch Mia but Mia does not want to leave Willy and says “no Wiwee” then hides her face against him and he just doesn’t have it in him to hand her over when she clearly doesn’t want to go and it’s obvious out of everyone around, she’s most comfortable with him. And so he takes a breath and realizes his last option is to take her with him and so he looks down at Mia and says “I really hope your parents don’t hate me for this” then heads to media with her. Mia’s so good during it too, mainly because she gets shy, but when Willy sits down she just stays cuddled against him and quietly observes her surroundings. Naturally, media addresses that not only does he have a child with him, but that he has Auston’s child with him lmaooo and Willy explains the situation that he was watching Mia and couldn’t leave her alone when he was rushed to do media then says “but that’s alright, I don’t mind. You ok, Mia?” And Mia just nods and fiddles with his sweater. She’s not super chatty because she’s a bit unsure of all these people in front of her and Willy but she doesn’t fuss or anything either. Then eventually someone talks about Willy’s contract and how he’s made some meaningful connections in Toronto, they can see that Mia is one of them, and just how he’d feel to leave it behind if contract conversations went south. And Willy starts with saying how much he loves Toronto and the team and the people he has there and then Mia interrupts saying “Wiwee no go” and just snuggles even closer to him and it has Willy SO alarmed because it pulls on the heartstrings so much and he just gives Mia a little squeeze then says how he’s really hoping to find a common ground regarding his contract and he’s just very levelheaded and mature about it. And soon after, he’s done answering questions. By the time he’s away from media, both Carson and Auston are back and Willy immediately apologizes but they cut him off saying they’re not mad, they were brought up to speed on what happened and appreciated the way he still put Mia first in it all and poor Carson feels so bad that he even got put in that situation because she was gonna be sick but Willy assures her that he didn’t mind at all

[significant-narratives]

Ok but consider: the splash bros as a narrative foil to austonmitchy ... nearly 10 years of losing in the most heartbreakingly almost fashion and yet you still choose to stay and go back home to each other vs. being undisputably the best and coming back from the dead time after time after years of waiting and longing and reminding the world that you're unstoppable together even if the clock seems to have other plans.

That and klay is the most recent victim of mitchsogyny which is when uber-entitled fans of a team with a Best Guy Ever want to kick said Guy's work wife off of the only one he's ever known because of (1) bad playoff performance that somehow overshadows several good ones !! Men are watching sports for the wrong reasons just enjoy the gay love story and be grateful ugh !!! Ok sorry for ranting ive just been thinking abt both of them a lot and luv ur blog and need them all to stay married forever or i will do something Drastic etc ok that's all bye have a lovely day <333

oh my god anon... your mind... i had never connected those two dots but yes absolutely!! as always i am prone to rambling so i'm sticking the rest of my reply under the cut.

i think you nailed it re: how despite the different trajectory each pairing has taken (years of coming close but not close enough vs literal dynastic success) the enduring love is still there!

i also think the way these two pairings came to be is interesting to compare. auston and mitch written in the stars (auston shattering the glass of the rink off a mitch assist in their first practice together, fast friends since they were rookies etc) vs steph and klay having a slower burn and only really bonding a couple years in (the barcelona trip).

and then, like. auston and mitch sitting in the locker room together, united in their grief and heartbreak in the amazon doc... the effervescent joy that klay and steph take in succeeding together but also watching each other succeed, even all these years later!! both pairs always speaking highly of one another, understanding that they make each other better, and most importantly wanting to climb the metaphorical mountain together. and needing each other in order to do so.

less important but amusing to me: one half getting married and settling down (steph, mitch) and the other still (presumably) happily living that bachelor life (klay, auston)

have to take a quick second to highlight this part of your ask because it made me feel so weepy in wake of Recent Events (which i will circle back to):

being undisputably the best and coming back from the dead time after time after years of waiting and longing and reminding the world that you're unstoppable together even if the clock seems to have other plans

LIKE.... LET'S TALK ABOUT IT FOR REAL... steph is a generational talent, an all time great, changed the way the game is played etc etc BUT. everything he has won at an nba level has been with klay by his side. the warriors were a lottery team for two seasons, everyone said they'd never win again in the 1130 era... and then klay came back and they won again! when steph was out last season, klay played a huge part in keeping the time afloat! i repeat that through the power of true love all things are possible and i think that's beautiful.

and of course, klay as the most recent victim of mitchsogyny is just incredible scholarship, truly. i've been avoiding all warriors-related news/spaces this offseason because people are being so fucking miserable, it's painful to see.

like, with the faction of leafs fans who want mitch gone, i can almost understand why they feel that way (note: that doesn't mean i approve or agree lol). and that's because in the same way that winning cures all, losing poisons everything.

but with warriors fans and klay, it's like? was four championships and coming back from two potentially career-ending injuries not enough for you people? did you guys forget a decade plus of incredible performances that quickly? where is your sense of loyalty! <- this circles back to your point abt how the average sportsfan engages with team sports. they care about the logo, the team as a concept, and maybeee one or two superstar players. but for me personally, and i think for many people on sports tumblr, what good is rooting for a team if the team is completely unrecognizable? i don't want to see nameless players win a title, i want to watch my guys win! i want to get invested in their journeys and their accomplishments and watch them grow together! sports are just stories about people at the end of the day!

please don't apologize anon, i too have been in the trenches with the news that klay is likely to leave as a FA and just... everything... about the mitch situation. i think the most important thing to remember is that no matter what happens, the love will always be there. and when we look back, their names will always be said together.

[aereres]

For You, I'd Become Hercules - Auston Matthews

Summary: After many years spent apart from each other, Y/N gets back to Auston, her childhood best friend, who happens to have held back a big part of his life from her. His son Tyson.

A/N: Here it finally is! The title was inspired from Evann McIntosh’s song “Yours”, which you should totally listen to! All credits go to them!

Word Count: 9,1k (a long one, damn)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of absent mother, single parenting, lying, heartbreak, mentions of hospitals and sickness (I think that’s all lmao)

"Y/N?"

You smiled as your eyes settled on your childhood best friend after all the years you had spent apart. "Hey, Aus," you chuckled. He closed the front door of his condo behind himself, making the two of you settle into the lightly dimmed hallway of his complex.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, letting his arms open to engulf you in a long hug.

"I promised you I'd move here after college," you said, smiling at him. "I got my degree and now I have a job here in Toronto,"

"No way," he chuckled excitedly, throwing his arms around you again. "I'm so proud of you, I know-"

The loud cry that came from his door made his body stiffen as he let go of you quickly before inching back inside his condo, leaving the door open for you. "This wasn't exactly the way I wanted you to know, but here we go," Auston huffed under his breath while he walked inside the living room, you following right in tow.

A toddler sat in the middle of the room surrounded by toys, wailing his heart out until Auston lifted him up in his arms, shushing him quickly. "Daddy-" was all the little one could say, wrapping his small arms around your best friend's neck.

Saying you were shocked was an understatement. You and Auston had stopped talking to each other as much as you used to because of his career, of how busy he was. But missing out on a baby was a big thing, especially if it was your best friend's baby.

"Y/N, this is my son Tyson," Auston sighed, rubbing the little boy's back as his body shook with sobs. You let silence fill the room as you looked between Tyson and his father, rubbing your forehead as you tried to get past the initial shock.

"Hi, Tyson," you breathed out, sending him a small, reassuring smile. "I'm your daddy's best friend," you whispered sweetly, wiping away the tears that streamed down his cheeks.

Tyson hid his face away from you, tucking it in Auston's neck as he shook with another sob. "He's a little shy," Auston mumbled, biting on his lip as he made his way inside the kitchen. "Want a cup of coffee before I leave for practice?"

-

"Mrs. Blake, this is my best friend, Y/N," Auston introduced you quickly to his neighbor, grabbing his duffle bag from the laundry room and making his way back to the kitchen, where you and the middle-aged woman stood. "Thank you again for coming over,"

"Auston, will you just stop thanking me? We've been doing this ever since Tys was basically born," Mrs. Blake chuckled. "Do you need me to make him dinner?"

"Uh, no. Y/N is staying over, and training won't be long today," Auston said, checking inside his bag for everything. When his eyes settled back to you, he sent you a quick, cold smile before bending down to kiss Tyson's forehead. "I'll see you later, bud. Okay? Be good for Mrs. Blake and Y/N,"

The toddler nodded absentmindedly as his focus stayed on the plastic dino he was playing with. As you looked down at him, you noticed the familiar traits that Auston and he shared, from the mops of dark hair sitting at the top of their heads, to the familiar dark eyes and the nose you had found so strange when you were a kid.

You didn't hear the front door closing or Auston's last goodbyes, too busy looking at the little guy sitting in front of you.

"So, tell me, Y/N, what are you doing here in Toronto?" Mrs. Blake asked with a small smile, sitting on the couch right next to the floor-to-ceiling windows and motioning for you to join her.

"I, uh- I just graduated college and I managed to get a job here," you said, playing with your fingers in your lap as you zoned out again, silence building between the two of you.

"You didn't know about Tys, did you?" She asked gently after a few minutes.

"Not really,"

Mrs. Blake chuckled sadly, her hand opened as she grabbed the toys Tyson handed her, the boy sending you a quick smile. The two of you found yourselves observing him, silence settling between you again as the little boy talked to his toys.

"I only remember the wailing from that night," Mrs. Blake started after a while. "I opened my door to understand what was the source of all that chaos, and I was only able to catch Auston holding the carrier with Tyson,

"He looked extremely scared, so I did what my motherly instinct told me to do and helped him out. He's never told me who the mother is, or what she told him that day," Mrs. Blake ended the sentence with a sigh, shaking her head softly. "He turned out to be a good father, you know?"

"I know he did," you mumbled, a small smile on your lips as you let little Tyson play with your hair. He seemed amazed by it as he let his hand card through it. "Soft," he whispered.

"It's soft, isn't it, Tys?" Mrs. Blake agreed with him. "But don't tug on it, okay? It's gonna hurt your new friend,"

Tyson looked up at you, his curious little orbs scanning over your features as he quietly took you in. He was quick to get back to his toys, not giving you the chance to actually talk to him, or even try to form a small bond.

"He'll open up, don't worry," Mrs. Blake sent you a sympathetic smile, squeezing your hand. You looked back at the kid, a soft grin on your lips as the light feeling of warmth spread through your chest.

He was all Auston.

-

"What?!"

Mitch's voice reverberated around the empty rink as he and Auston shot pucks inside the net, the rest of the team already in the dressing room.

"Y/N visited us," Auston repeated, getting rid of his helmet and letting his stick touch another puck. "She lives here, now,"

Mitch was shocked at his best friend's words but kept his eyes on the ice. "Was Tys happy to see her again?" He asked quietly, watching as Auston shot another puck in the net. All Mitch got was silence, not a word coming from his friend's mouth. It took him a few seconds to actually understand why his friend wasn't talking, and when he finally realized, there was nothing holding back his curiosity.

"You didn't tell her?!" He asked in shock, his mouth hanging open as Auston sighed out.

"I was going to, at one point," he admitted, guilt overtaking him as he pushed his hair out of his face.

"Matts, Tyson has been your son for three years. Three!" Mitch started reasoning. "When did you think you were going to tell her? After his fucking graduation?!"

Auston rolled his eyes, skating towards the net to pass the pucks back to Mitch. "I swear, I was going to tell her! I was just scared she would drop me,"

Mitch shook his head, letting the sound of hockey fill the rink as the two of them stayed in silence. Auston's guilt had been eating him up ever since you had unexpectedly met Tyson: the shocked, sad look on your face at that exact moment was enough to show him you had felt betrayed. The two of you had never hold secrets away from each other, especially if it was something as important as Tyson. He needed to apologize, in some way.

"How did she react?"

Auston looked back at Mitch with a sad look, a frown forming on his features as he shook his head. "She was shocked," he sighed. "And then I fucked it up by being cold as always,"

"Where is she now?"

"My apartment,"

"Listen, you're going to go home and talk to her," Mitch said, voice firm. "Make her dinner, apologize, explain to her why you didn't tell her..."

Auston took a deep breath, nodding his head as his friend pointed a finger towards him. "And please, don't fuck it up,"

-

The takeout Italian food you had ordered before Auston could have come home was sitting in front of you, the pasta you had tried to eat staring back at you as your best friend talked. All you were able to do was zone out, the new discoveries of the day still shocking you.

You weren't going to lie and say it didn't hurt you, the fact that Auston had spent all those years hiding his private life from you, the fact that he didn't even consider telling you, one of his closest friends, or asking for your help. It hurt. Bad.

"God, I still remember that time back in high school," Auston chuckled under his breath as he fed Tyson some pasta. "You were so obsessed with learning how to skate, and-"

"Why didn't you tell me about Tys?" You interrupted him, voice thin and shaky as you mustered the courage to speak the words that crowded your mind the entire night.

Auston's smile quickly faded, being replaced with a look of guilt as a thick layer of silence filled the room. "I- uh, I fucked up, I know,"

"I-I even went home, I saw your sisters, your parents," you said, your eyes glossy as you sniffled. "There was no word spoken about Tyson coming from their mouths,"

"I was scared,"

"Scared of what, Auston? You know I'd be by your side even if the world was ending," you sighed, standing up from your chair to recompose yourself, giving him your back. "I wish you could have just told me,"

A tear slipped past your eye and slid down your cheek. You compressed a sob, mentally slapping yourself for being so sensitive and rude to your best friend. It felt like everyone had lied to you all that time, leaving you unaware of your closest friend's situation. It hurt you.

"I'm sorry," was everything he whispered, standing up and pulling you in a tight hug. "I started overthinking, I thought you would have left me,"

"I could have helped you, Aus," you sniffled. "Hell, I would have dropped out to come here and help you,"

"We both know I would have never let you do that," he said in a whisper, carding a hand through your hair. "I could never be that selfish,"

He cupped your face, wiping the tear that had previously run down your face with the pad of his thumb before looking back at Tyson, who was playing with his sippy cup on his own at the table. "Let's go finish dinner?"

You gave him a soft nod, maybe even feeling a little better because you had been able to talk it out with him. The warm feeling in your chest, the same one you had been feeling back in your teen years too, didn't leave you alone for the rest of the night.

-

You looked out the window of your apartment, biting on your nail as the phone pressed against your ear hummed. The clouds crowding the sky of Toronto blocked the moon, not letting the comforting rays of moonlight peek and illuminate the city.

"Y/N? Is there anything wrong?" your best friend Aaliyah mumbled sleepily from her side of the line. "What are you doing up this late?"

Your eyes wandered to the clock hanging against the wall of your kitchen, noticing just then that it was well past midnight. You had lost track of time back at Auston's, spending most of the night catching up as you got accustomed to Tyson's presence. "Fuck, A, I'm sorry I woke you up," you muttered. "Some shit went down, but I can just talk to you in the morning,"

"I'm awake, now, and I won't be able to fall back asleep until you tell me," she chuckled. You heard faint sounds coming from her side, it sounded like she was leaving her bed. "What's up? Spill,"

"I, uh- today I met with Auston," you explained, rubbing your forehead with a long sigh. "And I surprised him at his apartment,"

"He wasn't with some girl, was he?" Aaliyah asked, her voice harsh as she reminded you of all the times you had come to her with a broken heart because of Auston's new girl.

"No, he-" you stopped in your tracks, trying to find the right words. "He became a dad,"

"Oh my God-" Aaliyah whispered. "You gotta be kidding me,"

"Tyson is three and a little shy," you chuckled, shaking your head as you thought about the toddler that managed to win a part of your heart already.

"Three?! Holy fuck, I'm killing him-" your best friend mumbled under her breath. "Didn't you meet his family when you went back home? They left you clueless about everything that happened?"

The sigh that left your lips was enough to let her know, making her scoff. "I can't believe it,"

"A?"

She hummed, your heart was beating out of your chest as you finally figured out the way you were feeling.

"I think I still love him,"

-----

You were hurriedly walking towards Auston's apartment, a smile on your lips as you thought of the night ahead of you. You'd received a text from your best friend when you were still at work, suggesting a movie night with him and Tyson.

Things had become better after you talked things out with Auston, he didn't hesitate to send you pictures of Tyson every possible time, updating you and making your days slightly better.

You were more than tired from your workday, but you weren't going to turn down a relaxing night with the boys, especially if it was Disney movie night. You were welcomed inside the warmth of the condo complex before you knew it, slipping inside the elevator to reach Auston's floor with a content sigh.

When you knocked on the front door, you were met with Tyson's small frame smiling up at you. "Hi, little guy!" You said excitedly, smile so bright your cheeks hurt. He silently grabbed your hand, tugging you along with him towards the kitchen where Auston was preparing all the snacks.

The giggle that escaped your mouth made Auston turn around, revealing the 'Cars' matching pajamas he shared with Tyson. "Oh my God," you gasped softly, your smile even bigger as you looked at the two of them.

"Well, good evening to you too, Y/N," Auston chuckled, slightly crouching down to hand Tyson the bowl of popcorn as he sent you a quick smile. "Be careful not to drop it, okay, bud?"

The toddler nodded, slipping out of the room, the soft padding of his feet making a small smile form on Auston's lips. "Hey," you whispered, walking closer to Auston. "You should have told me about the PJs, I would have tried to match,"

He laughed, the butterflies in your stomach starting their dance all over again as he pressed a hand on your smaller back, leading you towards the couch, where the Disney logo was already staring back at you.

"C'mon daddy!" Tyson squealed excitedly. "I wanna watch the movie!"

"What are we watching tonight, Tys?" You asked, ruffling his hair as he jumped up and down on the couch.

"Hercules!"

Auston groaned loudly, making his son giggle as he pressed play on the remote and started the film. He sat next to his father, leaving Auston in the middle as you took the only spot left next to him.

You tried your best to follow the plot, even though you had seen it multiple times as a kid, without letting your eyes close. You were able to get halfway through it: the songs seemed to lull you, and even if the movie was pretty chaotic, you found yourself falling asleep on Auston's shoulder.

In your half-asleep state, you felt Auston's arm slide around your waist, pulling you close to his chest. A small hand cradled your cheek, but it got squatted away in less than a second.

"Tys, don't wake her up," you heard Auston whisper.

"Daddy, she's pretty," the toddler whispered back, his voice close to your face as he studied your features.

"She is," Auston's answers didn't go unnoticed by you, his hand smoothing the skin of your waist as he inched you even closer. "But now it's already past your bedtime for both of you, so to bed you go!"

Your body was hoisted in Auston's arms as Tyson padded right next to him towards the master bedroom. Your best friend lay you down on his bed, rolling the covers over you before helping Tyson with brushing his teeth and settling him in his bed.

Your eyes opened slightly when Auston walked back inside the room, your voice groggy as you pushed yourself onto your elbows. "Sorry, work was rough today,"

"It's fine, Tyson needed to go to bed anyway," Auston chuckled, grabbing a blanket and pillow from one of his closets. "You can sleep here, I'll take the couch,"

"No!"

Auston turned around confusedly, a small smile on his lips as you stuttered. "I-I mean, you wanna share? The couch doesn't seem too comfortable,"

He chuckled teasingly, lifting the covers on the other side of the bed. "No need to be so nervous. We're friends, we share all the time,"

You managed to push out a fake giggle as his words opened a small wound inside your heart. Friends. That was all you were.

-----

Not a month after his statement about the relationship the two of you shared, Auston was directed towards Ottawa, ready to play a really important game. You had taken the responsibility of being Tyson's babysitter for the weekend to help Auston out: he had to travel away from home, and Tyson happened to not feel too well, so you let yourself get comfortable in the Matthews' household for just a couple of days to look after the little one.

"Auston, we will be just fine," you sighed into the phone, your best friend's worried voice coming from the other line mixing with the loud noises of the Leafs changing room. "Tyson just happens to have a small cold,"

"Call me if anything happens, okay?"

"Okay," you mumbled before ending the call, your eyes immediately falling on Tyson's tired body. He lay on the couch, lazily following a Disney movie playing on TV as he cuddled what you had realized was his favorite stuffie. He had been able to eat just a small part of his dinner under your watch, and the amount of tissues that sat around the two of you was concerning.

The game was going to start in a couple of minutes, and you were hoping that seeing his daddy would make Tyson feel a little better. You let a hand card through his soft, short hair, taking note of the whine that left his lips when your hand came in contact with his head. His forehead was burning, and you were sure he had a headache, too.

You weren't going to lie and say you weren't worried, you had measured his fever already once, and it only seemed to get worse. Tyson let his head rest in your lap, shocking you a little after all the coldness he had given you since the moment you first had stepped foot into his house weeks prior. He seemed to enjoy the movements of your hands in his hair, relaxing him even more and pushing him into a light slumber.

You switched channels, turning down the volume as soon as the booming voices of the commentators filled the condo. When the cameras focused on number 34, you let a smile paint your lips. Auston skated around the rink, getting warmed up with a small smirk on his face. Seeing him on the ice reminded you of the times back in your childhood, from his first hockey games when he was a kid, to cheering for him in High School as his number one fan, wearing his personal jersey.

Auston had been a constant part of your life ever since birth, you didn't even know how you could have gone a couple of years without him.

You were pushed out of your thoughts when Tyson stirred, a whine leaving his lips as he tightened his grasp on his stuffie. He let a cough out, and that's when you finally heard his labored breathing. As you let your hand graze his forehead, you also realized that he had heated up even more in the time being.

Your heart started beating out of your chest as the situation dawned on you: Tyson needed medical attention as soon as possible. Auston hadn't left Tyson's doctor's number, and you were sure that their clinic must have been closed for the night, anyway. The only option left was the ER.

You threw on your coat and helped a sleepy Tyson into his, slipped quickly your pairs of shoes before making your way to Auston's car, the only one that had a baby seat settled in the back. You were sure you had never driven that fast in your entire life, with a hand tightly holding Tyson's as you sprinted past cars in the busy streets of Toronto.

You made it to the emergency room in just a small amount of minutes, where you were escorted by a kind nurse to the pediatric ward. You were last in a small line of kids and parents, Tyson looking the youngest of them all.

You sat in a small chair waiting for your turn, the little boy cuddling in your arms as he struggled to breathe, your heart clenching every time he shook in his fever-induced dream.

With a panicked sigh, you grabbed your phone, pressing on Auston's contact and hoping he'd pick up. You were quickly sent to his voicemail, your eyes tearing up as you tried to muster up the words you were going to say to your best friend.

"Uh- hey, Aus," you sniffled, taking a deep breath before you kept going. "Tys and I are at the hospital right now: his fever got worse and he's wheezing. Call me back as soon as you can,"

You shakily put your phone back in your pocket, carding a hand through Tyson's hair as you looked at his sleepy form in your arms. A mother sitting in front of you sent you a reassuring smile, her kid sleeping against her side as they waited. Her smile had a calming effect on you, making you take a deep breath and close your eyes as you let the time pass.

You woke up to the sound of your ringtone a few hours later, your eyes quickly falling to Tyson to check on him before pressing the device to your ear. "Hello?"

"Where are you?" Auston quickly mumbled. "Excuse me- I just landed in Toronto,"

"Oh- we're still at the hospital, Toronto General," you mumbled, finally noticing you were the only ones left in line. "I think we're about to go in,"

"Fuck-" Auston muttered under his breath. "I'm in a taxi right now, I'll be there in a couple of minutes,"

He ended the call right after that, leaving you in the empty hallway. Tyson stirred, yawning quickly before whining out. "My head hurts,"

"I know, buddy. I'm so sorry," you whispered, kissing his forehead tenderly as your leg bounced anxiously.

"I want daddy," he sobbed, hiding his face in your chest and staining your shirt with his tears.

"He's on his way, Tys,"

The kid sobbed, wrapping his arms around you as he closed his eyes again, making you tear up. The entire night had taken a huge mental toll on you, and the fact that you thought everything you had done was wrong made things even worse. As if blaming yourself for not noticing Tyson's state as quickly as you should have wasn't enough, you felt extremely bad for making Auston think that everything was going to be okay when he had called before the game.

"And you must be Tyson Matthews!" The voice of an older man snapped you out of your thoughts. He stood by his office door, a kind smile on his face as his eyes scanned the still sleepy boy in your arms behind his thick pair of glasses.

"Yes," Tyson's small voice said shakily. He gripped onto you as you stood up to shake hands with the doctor. "Let’s go inside? Mommy will be with you all along, don’t worry,"

"I- uh, I'm not-"

"I'm here!" You heard Auston say from beside you, his breathing uneven after running around the entire hospital to find the two of you. "I'm here, Tys,"

"Daddy!"

"Let's see what's wrong with you, little guy. Shall we?"

-

You wrapped your coat tightly around yourself as you walked beside Auston, Tyson sleeping in his arms. The cold air of Toronto was hitting your face harshly, large puffs of warmth leaving your mouth as you watched your best friend put Tyson in the backseat of his car.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, shaking your head as you tried to hold the tears in.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," you repeated. "Tyson hadn't been feeling well the entire night and I still told you he was going to be okay, and-"

"Y/N, it's fine. Having the flu happens sometimes," he interrupted you, wrapping his arms around your frame tightly. "Thank you for taking care of him,"

He held you for a little while, relaxing against your body to let the stress of the night leave the both of you before dragging you towards the car. The streets were still crowded by just a few cars, even if it was well after 1 a.m., and you used the silence inside the car to wipe the stress away from your body.

When the car stopped inside Auston's garage, you quickly went to unbuckle Tyson, lifting him up in your arms so Auston could take care of his luggage. He was quick to follow you inside his condo, right behind you as you lay Tyson in his toddler bed. The kid seemed to let out a content sigh, turning on his side and giving you his back.

"I think I'll go home, now," you whispered awkwardly, biting on your lip as you looked at Auston. "You need to rest,"

"And you do, too," he mumbled, his hand slipping into yours as he pulled you inside his bedroom. "I don't want you driving this late. Just stay the night?"

"Auston-"

"Just for tonight,"

You chuckled as you looked at him, the glimmer in his eyes the same as when he was a kid. You let out a small 'fine', his smile so bright you were sure it could light up the whole room. He let you take the bathroom first, and you changed as quickly as you could into a pair of comfortable clothes of his.

You missed the soft glance he sent your way, too busy putting your phone in charge and avoiding his eyes before taking place under the sheets. Having sleepovers in the same bed had never been a problem for both of you, but you couldn't deny the tension that had built when you had first inserted yourself back into his life.

You were confused, to say the least, but not shocked. Your feelings for Auston would have come back at one point, you thought. You had seen him fall in love so many times, living his life without even thinking you might have felt a certain type of way about him. He had been so oblivious for all those years, it had pissed you off.

When you two had parted, you had rid yourself of your childhood crush. You had joined college, became busy with classes, and found yourself in different relationships before graduating. You didn't think your crush could have come back that easily, this time, your feelings were even stronger.

"Still not tired?" He asked, his side of the bed dipping as he lay down next to you.

"Tonight took a toll on me," you admitted, playing with the strings of the hoodie you were wearing. "Stress is still pumping, I guess,"

"C'mere," Auston whispered, lifting an arm up so you could rest your head on his chest. Your heart thumped against your ribcage, making you smile.

"Tell me something good, to make this night better," you whispered.

"We won," he chuckled. "I scored twice,"

You giggled, shaking your head as you closed your eyes. "Tys is gonna be so proud of you," you said mid-yawn, sleep taking over you. "Just like I am,"

He kissed the top of your head, taking one last look at you before closing his own eyes, wishing to dream about you on that night.

-----

Auston Matthews was going on a date.

He wasn't happy or thrilled about it, he couldn't stand those shallow dates at expensive restaurants anymore, especially if they were set by Mitch and Freddie.

His character had changed after Tyson became part of his life, he thought that he had changed for the better, thanks to his son. Dating, or having sex, wasn't as important as it used to be. His main focus was on giving Tyson the happy life he deserved.

His friends almost forced him into 'just one date' with a beautiful girl named Meghan, and he had been regretting the 'yes' he had given them ever since he’d seen the sad look on Tyson's face when he was told his daddy was going to be busy again. Auston wasn't ready to get back into the dating life, at least, he thought he wasn't.

When you had gotten the news, though, you had tried to conceal the pain with everything you had inside of you. Your feelings for Auston weren't mutual, the date made it clear. You had smiled and offered to take care of Tyson for the night, just so he wouldn't have to be worried.

When the night arrived, he dropped the toddler off with a thankful hug and headed quickly towards the destination, where the pretty brunette was already waiting for him. The entire conversation that night was about his fame and hockey, something that he had never liked to discuss during dates.

When dessert was brought over - right when Meghan started discussing her follower count on Instagram - realization hit him. He had compared his date to you the entire evening, noting how she wasn't as selfless as you, or how he didn't feel the warmth in his chest with her.

"Are you even listening to me, Auston?" Meghan said, her annoyed tone snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, I-"

"You definitely aren't," she snapped. "You haven't been listening to me all night, I'm surprised you even showed up,"

Meghan lifted herself up from her chair, catching the attention of the few people around them as she grabbed her purse, ready to walk out of the restaurant. "Good night, Auston,"

His eyes snapped shut with a sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. He asked for the check with a quick hand gesture, trying to get out of the place as soon as possible, he couldn't bear the apologetic looks coming from the people around him.

He was sure he had never paid for dinner that quickly, and he breathed out in relief as soon as the cold air hit his face. He slid inside his car and drove towards your apartment to pick Tyson up, his thoughts racing as the streetlights illuminated his features.

Your building stared back at him as the butterflies inside his stomach intensified at the thought of you. Everything about the date left his mind as he stepped inside the complex, the flight of stairs seeming longer than it actually was as his heart thumped against his ribcage. What was happening to him?

You opened the door after a quick knock, Tyson in your arms as he slept softly. "Hey, how did it go?"

"She left because I wasn't paying attention to her," Auston chuckled. "Mitch should just stop setting me out on dates,"

Your heart fluttered selfishly as you realized he hadn't been interested in the girl as you handed Tyson to him. "How was he?"

"He was good," you mumbled, looking at the toddler with a small smile. "Ate all the food and watched some TV with me,"

"That's good," he whispered, cradling his son's head to his chest as an idea popped in his mind. "Y/N?"

The hum he got from you was enough to send him into a spiral, his palms getting sweaty as nerves got the best of him. "The team is hosting a gala in two weeks,”

"That's cool," you smiled. "Want me to babysit Tys again?"

He chuckled, shaking his head as you sent him a confused glare. "I'm asking you to be my date, dummy,"

Your eyes widened in shock, but you nodded your head in less than a second.

"Is that a yes?"

"What do you think it is, dummy?"

-----

"Wow-"

Auston's impressed words whispered under his breath were enough to make your heart flutter. He stood in front of you with one of his suits, the ones that were so unique you never saw anyone wearing them too. To your surprise, Tyson was clasping his hand, a bouquet of flowers covering his face.

"Well, good evening, boys," you giggled, kneeling down to gently take the flowers from Tyson's hands. The little guy smiled when he saw your face, giggling when you kissed his cheek. "Thank you, mister,"

Auston helped you stand back up, his hand in yours as you finally let your eyes find his. He had the softest smile adorning his lips as he let his thumb brush against the back of your hand. "You look beautiful,"

You bit your lip to hide the lovesick smile that formed on your features. "You don't look too bad yourself," you teased, walking back inside your house to put the flowers inside a vase, before grabbing your purse and locking the front door behind yourself.

Auston let his palm find your smaller back, his other hand holding Tyson's as the three of you left the apartment complex and settled inside the backseat of a dark car.

"Private driver, wow," you teased him as he helped Tyson in his car seat, a chuckle leaving his lips as he gave directions to the driver. He settled down next to you, his hand slipping in yours as he made small talk regarding the night, telling you who was going to be there and what the event was going to be about.

The car came to a halt quicker than you had expected, nerves making your hands shake as you saw a few photographers standing near the entrance of the venue. "They'll just snap a few pictures, we'll be by your side for the entire time," Auston whispered, making it seem like he had almost sensed your stress.

His hand stayed in yours as he opened the door, helping you and Tyson out as the photographers greeted him. They snapped a few quick pictures, and you were sent inside the venue soon after.

The place was large, beautifully decorated with chandeliers and large tables already set for the dinner that would have soon started. Teammates were introduced to you, same went with girlfriends and coaches. Tyson had quickly run away with other kids, and you and Auston found yourselves at the bar with Mitch and Steph.

"Y/N, I've heard so much about you!" Mitch said, making you giggle, especially when Auston elbowed him in the ribs. "Matts can't seem to shut up about you, sometimes,"

Auston flushed a deep shade of red, running a hand through his hair nervously as he pulled you closer to his body. "Mitch is just overdramatic,"

"Am not,"

Steph laughed from beside you, her manicured fingers touching the velvety material of your gown, starting a conversation with you about your dresses. Tyson's little squeals were enough to interrupt you, and when he ran all the way to hug your legs, a small smile painted on your lips.

"Daddy, dinner!"

His statement made everyone turn around. Waiters and waitresses were starting to carefully move around the tables with food, and the team's coach was making his way towards the improvised altar, ready to give his speech.

"You hungry, Tys?" You asked.

"I'm starving!"

-

You were sure you had ever eaten food as good as the one you had eaten that night, your tummy feeling full as they brought dessert around the tables. Tyson hadn't made it through the entire dinner, he was already sleeping in your lap, holding one of his toys close to him.

You had felt someone's eyes on you for the entire night, but had shrugged it off, focusing on the amazing evening you had been able to spend with Auston, Tyson, and the people close to them. You enjoyed your night, forgot about the unsettling feeling, and let yourself have fun with everyone. When your date left to sort something out with his coach and the team, though, the feeling returned.

You wrapped an arm around Tyson, holding him close to you as you checked the few people still surrounding you, seeing if they were paying any attention to you. When you gave the tables behind yours a quick look, you noticed a pair of eyes staring back at you.

They belonged to a redheaded man, his glare cold as he quickly stepped towards your table. You didn't know whether you should have left to search for Auston or just act as if you hadn't seen him, but you chose the latter.

Your hands were shaky as you let them run through Tyson's hair, trying to recompose yourself, but everything seemed to change when the chair in front of you moved, the man sitting just a few feet away from you.

"Hi," you shakily said.

"Hi," was all he said, his eyes scanning your face before dropping down to Tyson. "You're Y/N, right?"

You nodded quickly, tightening your grip on the kid in your lap as he kept looking at you. "I'm Freddie, I play with Auston,"

You seemed to calm down after his statement, starting to breathe again after what felt like years. You smiled at him, letting a thick layer of silence fill the air around you. He was the first one to speak.

"He talks a lot about you, you know," Freddie said, his voice deep as his eyes met with Tyson's sleeping form. "But, as much as he likes to hide his feelings, he's been hurt before,"

"I can imagine," you whispered, recalling the conversation you had had with Mrs. Blake.

"I just- kind of took it upon myself to make sure he's not gonna go through all of that again, as his best friend,"

You smiled at him, realizing all he was doing was making sure you weren't going to hurt his best friend, and Tyson, of course. You felt the little one stir in your arms, his arms looping around your neck and letting his face hide in your chest.

"Mommy, the lights are too bright,"

Your world stopped at his words, at the name he used to call you. The shock was evident on your face as your eyes fell on Freddie, who just calmly smiled.

"I'm sorry, Tys. I promise you we will go home soon," you whispered as you looked down at him, using the palm of your hand to soothingly caress his back. When you looked back up to meet Freddie's eyes again, he was gone, no sign of him inside the venue.

A warm hand on your shoulder snapped you out of your trance, and when you turned around, you were met with Auston's smile.

"Tys is pretty tired," you whispered to him, seeing that the room was starting to become packed again.

"We probably should start heading home," Auston nodded his head, pressing a quick kiss to your temple. You stopped him before he could leave to grab your coats, letting your hand find his as his eyes met yours.

"Thank you for tonight,"

The smile on his face made your heart flutter, and his hand squeezed yours for a quick moment. "You're the one I should thank, I don't know where I'd be without you,"

When you left, that night, you caught Freddie's gaze again. He smiled your way, saying goodbye to you with a quick movement of his head. He was sure, nothing or nobody was going to make him change his mind on that.

You were the right one.

-----

“God, I also need to start looking at kindergartens,” Auston sighed as he rubbed his forehead, leaning against the washing machine. “I’ll have to do that in the next couple of days,”

You let a thick layer of silence build between the two of you, wondering whether you should have told him about what Tyson had called you at the gala the previous week. “I’ll help you with it, don’t worry,”

He gave you a look of pure appreciation, his arms engulfing you in a hug. He let the comfortable silence be his way of saying ‘thank you’, pressing a quick kiss to the crown of your head before dragging you towards the living room.

His hand never left yours as he fell on the couch, tugging you along. You slipped in his arms with a giggle, his body welcoming yours in a warm embrace. His fingers drew small shapes on your arms, the feeling of his strong chest against your back making you relax into him.

“Do you think I’m a good parent?”

His words made your heart stop for a quick second, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Of course you are,” you whispered, turning around in his grasp to face him. “Tyson loves you, what makes you even think that?”

“Hockey makes me absent all the time, I feel like I always miss the most important parts of his life,” Auston admitted, his fingers tangling in your hair.

“Tys is so lucky to have you as a dad, Auston,” you whispered, letting your hand cup your cheek. “You might be busy sometimes, but you always put your kid first, no matter what,”

Your best friend’s eyes settled on something behind you, silence filling the room again. The hurt that had painted his voice when he first asked you the question had you heartbroken, and it made you wonder how long he had been asking himself the same question.

“It was really hard,” he mumbled, playing with your fingers as he started talking. “I didn’t know I had a kid until his mother left him on my doormat, it truly left everyone shocked,”

You squeezed his hand gently, looking up at him with a reassuring smile as he found the courage to talk about Tyson’s story, about what happened.

“I was having a hard time with the team, I wasn’t scoring anymore, I felt awful,” he explained. “The only thing that seemed to make me feel relaxed was fucking around. I met Jessica at a bar, after a game we lost. We had sex, I left as soon as we were done and went on with my life,

“Months passed, everything had gone back to okay, and I saw her at my door. She left Tyson to me, explaining to me that he was my child and that she wanted nothing to do with him,” at that point, your eyes were glossy. You could have felt the pain in his words, it had become so evident at that point.

“We took DNA tests, everything, and Tyson was really my son, there was nothing denying that,”

“Where did Jessica go?”

“I don’t know. It’s almost as if she deleted herself from the world. She doesn’t live here anymore, she’s not on any social media and has deleted my number,”

You let your head rest against his chest, your hand playing with the material of his shirt as you took in the truth. You really wished you had known about Tyson from the start, to give a little help, to be there for Auston during the hard times.

“You’re strong. You know that, right?” You whispered, letting your eyes find his.

“I’m not,” the sigh that left his lips made your heart clench. “I’m barely holding on. I’m broken,”

“For you, I’d become Hercules and hold your broken pieces together,” you whispered, letting your hand cup his cheek. “No matter how hard it gets,”

He leaned into your touch briefly, before letting his eyes meet yours again. You hadn’t truly realized how close the two of you were, your faces just mere inches away from each other as your breathing became uneven.

He was the first one to inch closer, letting your lips meet for the first time. The smell of his cologne filled your senses, and the feeling of his hands gently cupping your cheeks was enough to send you into a frenzy.

He let his forehead rest against yours, when the two of you pulled apart, your breaths ragged. He smiled, lightly, but he still smiled.

And it made your heart soar.

-----

There was nothing as important as Tyson’s birthday, to Auston. It was December fourth, his little boy was turning four and sitting right between you and him as all of you were squeezed in the back of a taxi directed to Scottsdale to celebrate the little guy’s special day.

It had become a tradition for the Matthews to meet up on Tyson’s birthday, celebrate it together before parting ways again, it was something they just couldn’t miss. You had been invited, something you truly weren’t expecting.

“Nana!” Tyson yelled, snapping you out of your train of thoughts. His tiny hand was pointing out of the car window, where Ema was standing. She was waiting for you by the driveway, Nala and Felix patiently looking up at her as the car pulled up near the house.

You helped Tyson out of the car since he was excitedly kicking around, wanting nothing more than to go hug his grandma. “Mijo!”

Tyson ran in Ema’s arms, giggling as she pecked his face with kisses. “I missed you so much!” She squealed, letting him onto the ground to greet the dogs when her eyes met yours.

She was smiling, so brightly you were sure her cheeks hurt. You hadn’t seen her in months, and she seemed to be so happy to have you there with her family. “Oh, Y/N,” was all she could whisper as she pulled you in a tight hug. “I’m so happy you could join us,”

You almost teared up at her sweet words, just as happy as she was to finally see her after all the time spent apart. Ema pulled away to greet Auston, who was standing next to you. Your eyes dropped to Tyson who was excitedly playing with the dogs as a smile painted on your face. Maybe that was where you belonged, you thought.

“Everyone is inside,” Ema explained, a faint smile forming on her lips when she noticed Auston’s hand mindlessly rest on your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Wanna head inside, mijo? Your aunties are waiting for you!”

Tyson nodded his head, gripping his grandma’s hand as the two of them headed inside. You didn’t realize you had been nervously zoning out as you watched them walk away, at least, not until Auston squeezed your hip to catch your attention.

“Don’t be so nervous,” he whispered. “I know this is their first time seeing us together like this, but they won’t change your opinion on you,”

He bent down to kiss your forehead, his hands running through your hair, knowing it would calm you, before Breyana’s voice snapped the two of you out of your trance.

“Enough of that, lovebirds! There’s a birthday we need to celebrate!”

-

Tyson had opened his presents, including the remote control car you had gifted him. The glimmer in his eyes when he first saw your present was enough to make you smile excitedly, kissing the top of his head when he rushed towards you to thank you.

By the end of the day, he was still out with his aunties and the dogs, his squeals and giggles being loud enough to be heard inside the house where you, Auston, and his parents were conversating.

“Alex already started to plan the trip to Cabo,” Ema said, drying her wet hands on the closest towel before joining you at the kitchen island. “Are you coming this year?”

“We’ll have to see,” Auston mumbled, his eyes looking out the window to keep an eye on Tyson.

“We?” You asked, smiling when his cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

“I mean, just if you want to,” he mumbled, his hand resting on your thigh.

“Daddy!” Tyson barged in, Alexandria running after him with a smile. “Can I sleep here? With Nana and Papa?”

Auston looked at his mother for her consent, being greeted only with a smile and a nod of her head. “He can stay in your room,” she reassured him. “Wanna stay in daddy’s room, mijo?”

“Yes!”

“You have to be good, though,” Auston kneeled down to his son’s height, ruffling his hair with a chuckle. “We’re only a call away, mom,”

“I know, Aus,” she giggled. “You two go get some rest, alright? We’ll take good care of him,”

“Alright,” Auston sighed. “Good night, buddy. I’ll see you tomorrow,”

The toddler pressed a kiss to his father’s cheek, before running towards you to hug your legs. “Good night, mommy!”

“Sweet dreams, Tys,” you shakily said, finally accepting the fact that Tyson wasn’t seeing you as daddy’s friend anymore. As you looked around, you were met with Auston’s shocked expression. He took a deep breath before saying his last goodbyes to the family, leaving the house with you by his side.

The car ride was silent. Auston seemed to be in his thoughts, his eyes focused on the road as he gripped the steering wheel lightly. You felt like things were going too quickly for him, that being called mommy from Tyson was just too many steps ahead. Your friendship had just taken its sharp turn, the kiss you had shared just a few weeks prior was still playing in your head. You just hoped it wasn’t going to end as quickly as it started.

“I’m sorry about Tyson,” was all he whispered, slightly shocking you. “He’s called you that many times when we were alone. I told him to drop the name, but I guess he just couldn’t let it go,”

His confession made your heartbeat quicken, a smile forming on your lips. “He’s- he’s called me that before, it’s not a big deal,”

“He has?”

You nodded. “At the gala,”

Auston chuckled, shaking his head as he parked the car in the driveway of a rather big house. “I was worried he’d overstep,”

“I was worried I was the one overstepping,” you admitted, chuckling when he frowned your way.

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” you giggled, the mood inside the car changing. He laughed, letting his head rest against the car seat. You planted a quick kiss on his cheek, your fingers intertwining.

“I appreciate you,” he whispered, turning his head so his lips could ghost yours. “So much,”

You kissed him gently, letting out a little squeal when he pulled you onto his lap. “Auston!” You giggled loudly, palms flat on his chest as you looked at him.

“What? Can’t appreciate my girl?”

Heat rose to your cheeks as you felt like a teenager again, straddling his lap inside the walls of his car, sharing sweet kisses. “You should really consider coming to Los Cabos with us,” he mumbled after he suddenly pulled away. “Work has been stressing you out, and I can tell. You deserve a trip,”

The tip of his thumb brushed against your swollen lips as you gave his statement a thought. You did need a vacation, you weren’t going to lie: work had been busy, filled with meetings and important deadlines. It truly had been stressing you out.

“It would be in a couple of months, baby,” Auston whispered. “Just give it a thought and let me know,”

You nodded your head, pressing one last peck to his lips before opening the car door and sliding out, Auston following your tracks.

You were still uncertain, but maybe the universe wanted you to be there. Next to Tyson and Auston, being part of their lives, part of their routine.

Maybe that was where you belonged.

-----

3 months later...

“You little troll!” You squealed jokingly, running after Tyson as he splashed water your way. His giggles were loud when you wrapped your arms around him, spreading kisses all over his face as the warm Mexican sun shone on your faces.

“Daddy! Come play with mommy and me!” Tyson yelled to Auston, who was sitting by the shore, looking at his two favorite people playing together. He chuckled, stepping towards the two of you with a smile.

“Show daddy what I’ve taught you, baby,” you suggested, pushing the few strands of wet, dark hair away from Tyson’s forehead.

The toddler looked at his father with a smile before lying flat on the water, floating ‘just like the big kids’, as he had said just prior. Auston’s reaction was priceless, his lips pulling in a wide smile as he gave you a quick look.

His fingers were quick to tickle Tyson’s stomach before pulling him in his arms, excitedly laughing with his son. “Look at you!”

“Was I good, daddy?” Tyson asked with a giggle.

“You were spectacular!”

Tyson laughed, pointing your way as he talked to his father. “Mommy helped me,”

“Do you think she should teach me, too?” Auston asked, smirking your way when Tyson nodded.

“Such a way to ask for alone time, Mattews,” you rolled your eyes, biting your lip before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Tyson’s tiny hands smacked the cheeks of you and your lover, pushing the two of you away in a fit of laughter.

“No kissies!”

You shook your head, pressing a quick peck to Tyson’s cheek before letting your lips find Auston’s one last time. “I’ll go get some sunscreen on, my shoulders are burning,” you muttered quickly, pointing a finger towards Tyson teasingly. “And you, mister, you better come get your sunscreen refill in ten,”

“Mommy!” He pouted, giving you his puppy eyes you couldn’t resist.

“It’s gonna be quick, then you’ll be able to play with daddy and Papa as much as you want,”

You left only after you had gotten a small, resentful ‘okay’, walking towards the beach to reach for your beach bag. You looked from the distance at the boys, your boys, with a loving smile. You had never felt love for someone the same way you felt love for Auston and Tyson, never. Your heart belonged to them, in any possible way.

You wondered where you would have been at that point, if you hadn’t gone back to Auston. Maybe you would have been back home, still heartbroken over the things he had made you go through as a teenager. Maybe you would have been in Toronto, too scared to let him know you had kept your promise. Maybe you would have been somewhere else, far away from his life, living different experiences without him and the kid you had started to call your own.

You were there, though, living the life you had been wishing for ever since you were a little girl. A love story, a kid you loved so much, moments you would never be able to forget.

Your life was complete, everything you had asked for.

You weren’t uncertain anymore, there were no ‘maybes’, no ‘perhaps’.

That was where you belonged.

Taglist: @thirsthy-bitch @bellaguarneri @jakevirtanenn @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows

[hockeyboysiguess]

four calling bird -> four broken sticks | a. matthews

a/n: it’s me, again, hoping you aren’t yet sick of christmas fics from me. if you aren’t, here’s a link to the rest of this 12 days of christmas series!

word count: 4,161

warnings: two curse words and some angst. 

“How many broken sticks is that today, Matts?”

Auston didn’t know the answer and he didn’t care about the answer either. He just cared that his stick was broken and he couldn’t practice his slapshot with a broken stick. And he needed to take a slapshot right now, and another one, and another one. He needed to send a puck through the netting, through the glass behind it, and bury it deep in the wall behind that. Maybe his feelings for you would get buried with it if he could just hit the puck hard enough.

“I think he’s at two,” Willy supplied as Auston grabbed a fresh stick from the rack that unfortunately wasn’t pre-taped. He’d broken all of those already. 

“You missed one,” Mitch corrected. “That’s the third one he’s broken.”

Auston started a fresh roll of tape, starting with the heel of his new stick like always.

“I’m right here,” Auston reminded his teammates who were talking about him like suddenly he was invisible as he taped his stick lazily. One of his worst tape jobs in awhile, but he didn’t really care. “I’m not breaking any more. Just in case you were wondering.” 

That promise worked for another twenty minutes. Until Mitch dared to ask the question everyone had been avoiding. 

“So, did you tell your mom you broke up and that she’s not coming with you for Christmas yet? If not, you kind of need to tell her. You can’t just show up without her.”

And there came the fourth broken stick as the final whistle of practice came, with Auston thinking about the inevitable phone call with his mother and really having to say it out loud that he lost you after everyone told him ad nauseum not to lose you because you were so much better than him. You were so much better than him and Auston couldn’t pretend he was even half of the person you were. He couldn’t even think about watching you shove your things in a box as you raced out of his place, or the drawer that your things had inhabited now sitting empty, or the fact that his mom loved you and he hadn’t told her you weren’t coming to Arizona. He really couldn’t think about losing you a week before Christmas, the time of the year that was supposed to be magical and pure and good and joyful. Instead, Auston was pretty sure he hated Christmas now. 

Auston knew for a fact he hated Christmas as he pressed his mom’s contact on his phone while climbing into his car. He loved his mother and loved talking to her. He loved that he was going to get to go home for a few days and spend the holidays with her. But you were supposed to be there too and telling his mom was the last barrier that made the breakup real. A large part of Auston still thought he’d open his eyes in the morning and your hair would be in his face and your bobby pins would be all over his bathroom counter and your clothes would be haphazardly stuffed in your drawer and overflowing into two of his that technically weren’t yours but might as well have been. 

But then his mom answered the phone and he knew that wasn’t going to happen. This wasn’t a nightmare. Well, it might still have been a nightmare before Christmas, but it wasn’t all in his head like he desperately hoped it was. 

“Hi, mijo!” She greeted him with a warmth that always made him feel like he was back in Arizona, but today it also made Auston feel sick to his stomach because he was about to break her heart, never mind the fact that his was already broken too. “How are you? How was practice? We’re all so excited to see you both tomorrow!”

Auston let out a long breath, the kind that let his mom know there was something heavy and unspoken that was going to disrupt the Christmas cheer she’d been building since the Leafs schedule came out and she realized Auston was actually going to be able to make it home for Christmas this year. 

“Actually, um, about tomorrow…”

He trailed off, mostly because his bottom lip started to shake and his eyes started to get cloudy, but also because he wasn’t sure exactly how to admit that the girl his mom adored, who she fully and honestly wanted him to marry, wasn’t coming with him for Christmas this year or next year or any of the years after that. She was gone. He lost her and it was all his fault.

“Mijo, what’s wrong?” 

Auston bit his lower lip hard, hoping that would stop the shake and make his eyes gloss over from a pain that wasn’t in his chest. The words were so timid coming out of his mouth, syllables broken, shattered as they left his lips, “She broke up with me, ma. She’s not coming for Christmas.” 

Ema Matthews didn’t mean to; she wanted to be supportive of her son, but what came out was, “What did you do, mijo?” even though she should’ve just asked him what happened.

“I guess I just didn’t love her enough to overcome how shitty it is to date me,” Auston mumbled, replaying the night over in his head as he spoke. “Sorry for swearing, mama.” 

Auston remembered your sweater from a few nights ago when you showed up at his place, your snowflake one, subtle office appropriate Christmas, is what you’d called it in the moment. Auston had laughed, until he saw an empty box in your hands. He was confused when you set it down on the counter and didn’t take your shoes off. You didn’t bend down to pet Felix like you always did. Your shoes got kicked off haphazardly by his front door and then you pet Felix and then you came over and gave him a kiss. It was your routine when you came over, but this time your shoes stayed on, you barely acknowledged Felix, and there was an empty box sat on a counter in place of kissing him. 

“Auston,” you had sighed and he knew the second he heard the way you said his name that you were breaking up with him. He had been so scared of ever hearing it that he’d imagined every single way it would sound if you were going to do it. Finding you, and you somehow being willing to date him, had been the biggest blessing Auston had ever received. He had always thought that some day you would wake up and realize you could do so much better than him, so he’d imagined what it would sound like when he couldn’t sleep at night on the road without you. He thought if he familiarized himself with every possible permutation of it that when it eventually happened, he wouldn’t cry in front of you, that maybe he wouldn’t beg for you to stay even though you shouldn’t want people who don’t want you. 

It didn’t work. The way you said his name made him cry.

“Please,” Auston had said softly. “Please don’t do this now. Please. It’s Christmas. I know that stupid, but please don’t break up with me at Christmas.” 

You had hung your head and sighed again, “I’m sorry, Aus. I just, I can’t take it anymore. I’ve tried. I’ve tried for so long to just tune it out, just focus on you and us but lately everything has been just so loud that I can barely hear myself think. My friends and family are getting harassed. It’s not just me anymore. It’s too loud. It’s too much. And I don’t want to spend Christmas with your family knowing I just want to end it. That’s not fair to you or your mom or anyone.” 

“How is showing up at my place with a box to dump me for stuff I can’t control without even having a discussion fair either?” 

Auston had tried to fight back. He had tried to have a conversation, to communicate, something he had been absolutely awful at when you started dating. You had been so patient, so kind, and so steadfast with him as he figured out how to be a partner, how to meet you halfway. Here you were, after he worked so hard on himself because he thought if he worked hard enough maybe he could be worth a small part of you, acting like it wasn’t enough, that everything he couldn’t control mattered more than him. Unfortunately, sometimes, people can try as hard as they can, with all of their might, and still lose. He was so good to you, so good with you, but in the effort of fixing himself, of learning to be a better partner with as much of his energy as he had to give, he’d slipped a little in one area. Auston didn’t protect you enough from the noise and you were damaged because of his lack of ability to shield you from the press, from the fans, from every hungry person who fed on other people’s drama and suffering, from people who didn’t want you and Auston to be happy. Auston lost because he didn’t have more to give than he was already giving you. He lost you because what he had to give just wasn’t enough like a rejected Christmas present, rejected not because the gift inside wasn’t beautiful, but because it came with a toxic addition that Auston had tried not to wrap up with him, but failed. 

Driving down the street, all the Christmas decorations seemed to be mocking him. This was supposed to be his best one in a long time, getting to be back in Arizona with his family, plus getting to spend it with you. If Auston had drawn up his perfect Christmas at the start of the year, what he had planned was what he would’ve drawn up. But even the best laid plans, even the most carefully selected gifts, didn’t always pan out. 

“I’m sorry, mijo,” his mother told him softly, any earlier traces of disappointment over losing you from the family gone. She’d have to work through that herself later. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Auston felt like he was supposed to want to talk about it, about what it felt like to lose you and what he was feeling like now that he was being forced to become settled in it even though that was the last thing he wanted. Auston didn’t want to talk about the breakup though because he just tried so hard with you and he came up short anyway. Talking about shortcomings that couldn’t be fixed, because he could never fully shelter you from the noise of everyone else, wasn’t healthy. He could do everything in his power, use all of his energy, to protect you from it all, put zero effort into your actual relationship, and he still couldn’t do it. Talking about something Auston would always fail at and how it had cost him you wasn’t something he was all that interested in with the wreaths on the light posts and the Christmas carols on the radio station that you had insisted he play in his car mocking him. 

“Not really, ma,” Auston admitted softly. “Kind of just need to be alone tonight.” 

“Of course, sweetheart,” she mumbled as assuringly as she could. “Do whatever you need to do.” 

What Auston needed to do to feel better was drive over to your place and beg for another chance, a chance to do it better. He couldn’t even fully protect you, but maybe he could find more to give somewhere in him and do it better, while not being a worse boyfriend for it all. Except Auston knew you didn’t want him to try. You hadn’t asked for him to try. You had just broken up with him, just like that. Now, he was spending Christmas where the only gift he had received so far was his own heart shattered, given to him in an unwrapped box. 

“Yeah, I think I just need some time,” Auston sighed, running a hand through his hair before returning it to the steering wheel. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“If you change your mind and want to talk, you know you can call anytime,” Ema tried to assure her son softly. 

Auston just hummed softly in agreement, before telling his mother Merry Christmas and that he'd see her tomorrow. He tossed his phone careless into the cup holder, one of the side buttons hitting the side of the cup holder and greeting him with a picture of you kissing his cheek, arms wrapped around him, love obvious in your closeness. He hadn’t been able to change it yet, but your face squished against his cheek in that photo made his eyes tear up whenever he saw it. Luckily, the only lucky part of the last few days, he just pulled into his garage, so he could let the tears roll down his cheeks without worrying about not being able to see the road. Like every night since you’d left, Auston slept on the couch that night, the Christmas tree you had insisted on getting, mocking him in the corner. His sheets smelled too much like you to sleep in that bed, so he picked the mocking Christmas tree instead. 

Auston was on autopilot as he grabbed his bag, the one he’d left space in for your extra things that you wanted to pack that lived at his place. He didn’t fill the space he’d left for you because it was still your space. Like yesterday, the Christmas decorations and the Christmas music and the fake gingerbread smell coming from every shop in the airport mocked him as he waited for his flight. He just wanted to be home where he thought being around his family would feel enough like Christmas that he’d feel at least marginally better. He felt better when his mother wrapped her arms around him as he stepped off the plane, and when the warm Arizona sun hit his skin on the wall to the car. But it was all as temporary and out of place as the snowy decorations littering his parents’ home. Snow didn’t fall in Arizona and he didn’t have you anymore. 

His mom tried. His dad tried. His sisters tried. They all tried to cheer him up, shoving an ugly sweater over his head and a Santa hat on top of it. But he couldn’t engage in it. His mind was on you, on how you were supposed to be here, how he wanted to ask you to move in as part of your Christmas gift. He had a key made for you. He was so ready for you, for you and him for as long as he could see into the future, and now he just hated your favorite holiday. His bed felt too big that night, but at least the sheets in Arizona didn’t smell like you even though the space next to him was clearly meant for you. 

Auston woke up the next morning feeling hungover even though he hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. He rubbed his eyes slowly and reached out to the space you were supposed to occupy, finding nothing but cold sheets and an emptiness that felt so much more vast than half of a king size bed. His phone reminded him that it was December twenty-fourth, Christmas Eve, but it had never felt less like Christmas for Auston. Christmas was supposed to be sickeningly sweet, like all the candy his mother would stuff in his stocking later tonight. It was supposed to be happy, and maybe that was the worst part of it all, that Auston felt like he was supposed to be happy but just couldn’t be. Hhe lost you and he felt like he was letting everyone down by not being happy, by not being filled with Christmas cheer that was just making him feel so sick he couldn’t even eat his reindeer shaped pancakes his mother made, like she did every Christmas Eve morning. 

“You want to help me with the cookies?” his older sister asked him, trying to will Auston away from where he’d settled on the couch after being unable to eat his breakfast.

“I’m fine,” he replied with his eyes still trained on his phone. 

He was flipping through photos of you, something he knew would only hurt worse, but he couldn’t stop. He was trying to find out when something had changed, when you stopped looking at him with all the love in the world, the look that people had made fun of you for ever having about him of all people. Now that Auston was looking back on it, maybe they were right to do so. Maybe he was inevitably going to ruin what he had with you and everyone else had seen it from the start, noticed the inevitable unmarked intersection where you would crash into each other. When you crashed last week, it seemed only Auston walked away with any damage, shattered like an ornament that fell from the top of the tree, only to have the fragments of him carelessly tossed in the trash, no attempt made to repair him. 

Auston didn’t leave the couch except to move to the outdoor couch at his mother’s insistence and then back to the indoor one after the sun had set, time passing as it always did but affecting him less. He felt the same from moment to moment, an out of tune, incongruent symphony of thoughts of you, good, bad, and all the gray area in between, like the poor excuse for a symphony the carolers probably behind the knock on his front door would make that interrupted his private thoughts. His family was in the kitchen and he was closest to the front door. He didn’t want to answer and be faced with the prospect of ruining the Christmas spirit for a van-load of local children, but he didn’t have much of a choice when his mom called out for him to answer the door. 

Auston didn’t bother to look out to see who it was, choosing instead to get the shooting of children’s Christmas caroling dreams out of the way as quickly as possible. 

“Hey, guys, I appreciate you coming by, but we’re not really-”

Auston’s words caught on the tip of his tongue when he fully opened the door to see not the group of Christmas carolers he thought he would, but to see you standing there. You had nothing but a broken smile and a small duffle bag, the kind of small that indicated you didn’t know if you were about to be getting right back on a plane or if you were going to be allowed to come in. It was a kind of honest small, one that didn’t want to hope for the best, just expected the worst. You were wearing a Christmas sweater, one of your ugly ones. It was too warm for Arizona, sweat on your temples and the sleeves pushed up to your elbows as evidence of this, but Auston knew you wouldn’t take it off. He knew so much about you. He knew your favorite color, he knew that you always slept at an angle in the bed with the comforter bunched in your arms, he knew you loved Christmas with a passion that rivaled Santa Claus himself, he knew why you had broken up with him, but he didn’t know why you were here. 

“Hi,” was all you offered and it didn’t serve as an explanation. 

“What are you doing here?” Auston managed to put together the question from all the others crashing together in his mind, questions and statements and incoherent thoughts clashing and making it hard to come up with anything specific to say. “What? How? Why?”

You ran a hand through your hair and let out a long breath, before taking your bottom lip nervously between your teeth. You had a thousand reasons, really more than that as to why you’d bought a ridiculously expensive one-way ticket from Toronto to Arizona on Christmas Eve, why you’d squished yourself between a grandmother with a purse of overflowing powdery mints and a crying infant to show up at his door. None of your reasons were clear now though, all of them jumbling together, tangling up into an indistinguishable mess in your mind that only led to one statement that you weren’t sure if it even properly captured everything you needed to say to him. 

“I never want to spend Christmas without you, Auston.” 

There was so much unsaid, so many things Auston had been feeling since you walked out with a box of your things, leaving him with nothing of you but his memories, the photos on his phone, the gifts he’d picked out for you but never got to give you, and a dread of the holiday he had come to love with you. There was so much those nine words didn’t cover, so much hurt and agony underneath them. But fuck if they weren’t the prettiest bandage Auston had ever seen in his life. 

“I never want to spend Christmas with you either,” Auston breathed out, words spoken with relief so real and honest you felt like you could touch it.

You adjusted the duffle bag in your hand, shifting it from your left to your right as you looked at Auston. He looked horrible, dark circles under his eyes, a hollowness in his cheeks, but his eyes were so hopeful looking at you now, bright and deep, exactly like he looked the day you fell into him for the first time and decided to stay. His eyes were like Christmas morning, a beautiful promise breaking through the heaviness of a December that carried pain it wasn’t supposed to understand. You took a deep breath and hoped nine words, hope, and a little Christmas miracle were on your side. 

“Baby, can I come home for Christmas?” 

Auston didn’t hesitate. He knew his answer through and through, “Only if you stay for every Christmas forever.” 

You felt the tears sting your eyes as you stepped toward him, head nodding up and down as you accepted his terms. You thought you could handle being without him if it meant all of the negativity you felt from other people was no longer a factor. Except you couldn’t have been more wrong. People were still mean. The world still had a lot of darkness in it. All you had done by leaving him was create more darkness for yourself when his love and the light it brought left with him. Crawling back into his arms, feeling the familiar warmth of his chest, you felt his love wrap around you tightly, and your world became just a little brighter again. 

“I love you and I’m so sorry,” you mumbled into his ugly sweater covered chest. 

“Shh,” he mumbled softly into your hair. “It doesn’t matter now. You’re home for Chrismtas.”

You squeezed him impossibly tighter because if you let go, he might slip through your fingers like smoke, a figment of your imagination evaporating in front of you. You clung to him and he held you just as firmly, fearing the same thing, fearing his Christmas miracle would cease to be real if he wasn’t holding you. Hell, you weren’t a Christmas miracle. You were the best thing he had ever gotten in his entire life, the best gift the universe ever gave him. This year for Christmas, Auston Matthews lost you and got you back. While he could’ve done without the losing you part, he had you back. You were right here, in his arms, where you belonged and Auston Matthews wouldn’t be spending Christmas without you. He never had to spend another Christmas without you, the real Christmas miracle, the fact that his Christmases would forever include you now. 

You were home for Christmas. You were home for forever. Home was Auston and Christmas just isn’t Christmas with thousands of miles between you and your heart. But you were holding him now and you knew that waking up in his arms on Christmas morning was the only way you ever wanted to wake up for every Christmas in the future, starting with the one coming in a few short hours that you knew would make you crave the next one as soon as it finished. 

You loved him. He loved you. Love was inherently complicated, the joining of two people. Christmas uncomplicated it all, boiled everything down to the most simple thing possible; Auston Matthews was your person, and you wanted to share every Christmas with him. So, you walked into the house and started with this one.

[timetravelingheart]

Consequences Chapter Fourteen: A.M. Imagine

This one is a beast! I’m sorry! 

Also, smut warning. 

________________

“Whoa, Matts,” William exclaimed, clearly impressed. “That’s quite some arm candy you’ve got there.”

Before Auston could angrily tell William not to speak about Tessa that way, he realized his buddy was actually looking at the new watch on his wrist and laughed. “Oh yeah, she did a good job, didn’t she?” he held out his wrist so William, Mitch, and Morgan could get a better look. Tessa was off chatting with Steph and William’s date, Katie.

“What do you think that set her back?” Mitch asked, as he examined it closer.

“Too much,” Auston shook his head, remembering that he had actually been pretty upset with her for spending that much money on him when he knew she had worked so hard to save while in school. He didn’t want to fight about it, especially as they were exchanging their first Christmas gifts, but he couldn’t help but worry that she thought she had to spend that money just because of his job and lifestyle. When she mentioned how much he had probably spent on her earrings, he knew she had a point, but he could afford it without worrying about it. He didn’t want to say that and offend her, but it bothered him.

“Well, it’s a beauty,” Morgan agreed. “Are you going to be together over the holidays?”

“No,” he sighed. That had also bothered him more than he admitted. “She’s going home to London for Christmas, and then she has plans with some girlfriends for New Year’s. I guess they’ve rented out a chalet at Blue Mountain for the past few years, and now it’s a tradition.”

“Steph mentioned something about that when I asked her if Tessa was joining us for our New Year’s party,” Mitch responded, taking a sip of his gin and tonic. Mitch and Stephanie were hosting a New Year’s party for the team at their new condo together and Auston had been looking forward to spending the night with his friends and his girl, but she had other plans apparently.

He didn’t realize he had been staring at her across the room until she caught his eye and sent a curious look his way as Stephanie, Katie, and now Christina chatted around her. He quickly recovered, sending her a wink before turning back to the guys.

“Yeah, not this year,” he responded to Mitch.

“When does she go to London?” William asked, feeling a little sorry for his friend.

“Tomorrow. She has to finish grading papers tomorrow morning, and then she heads out some time in the afternoon, and doesn’t come back until January 3rd,” he sighed.

“Did she ask you to go and meet her family?” Morgan asked, as they all started to make their way to their table.

“She did,” Auston replied, taking his seat next to Morgan and leaving the seat next to him empty for Tessa. “It just depends because my grandma is coming here too, and I don’t want to miss seeing her, so I’m hoping I can. I’ve only met her dad through FaceTime so far.”

Auston knew how much Tessa’s dad meant to her, and knew how much she wanted the two of them to meet, but their schedules just never seemed to match up. Tessa understood that he’d want to stay in town for his grandma, so she wasn’t upset, but he really wanted to make it work.

“Well, I’m sure you guys will have lots of time to meet,” Morgan responded. “Considering how crazy in love you two are, I think there will be tons of chances.”

Auston coughed on the drink he had been taking. In love. Morgan knew?

“What?” Morgan asked, oblivious.

“What makes you think she’s in love with me?” Auston whispered, hoping no one else was overhearing this conversation. William and Mitch had already moved on and were talking about the new updates to Call of Duty.

Morgan stared blankly at Auston. When it didn’t seem like Auston was joking, his jaw dropped slightly.

“Are you kidding?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“No!” Auston whisper shouted. “You think she’s in love with me?”

Morgan reached over and knocked on Auston’s forehead before Auston pushed his hand away. “Hellooo, anyone in there?” Morgan teased. “You can’t actually be serious?” When Auston just stared, he laughed, amazed. His friend was an idiot. “You are serious. Jesus, what has this girl done to the confidence of Auston Matthews?”

“What do you mean?”

“Matts, a person would have to be blind or stupid to not know that the two of you are in love!” Morgan thought this was obvious to everyone, but apparently the only people who didn’t know Auston and Tessa loved each other were Auston and Tessa. Go figure.

“How did you know I love her?” Auston demanded. He hadn’t told anyone yet.

“Did you get hit in the head recently and have just been hiding it?” Morgan squinted his eyes at his clueless friend. “Man, it’s so obvious. And it’s also so obvious she feels the same! I just assumed you had already said it.”

“I mean, not technically,” Auston looked away, making sure Tessa wasn’t within earshot.

“What does ‘not technically’ mean?”

Auston sighed. He might as well tell someone. It had been weighing on his mind ever since that night.

“I actually told her I love her a few weeks ago,” Auston whispered.

“That’s great!” Morgan exclaimed. When Auston didn’t seem to share in his excitement, he paused. “Isn’t it?”

“I mean, I said it and she was asleep but I didn’t know she was asleep so she didn’t even hear it,” Auston shrugged, embarrassed. “And then I just decided to keep it to myself for a bit. I guess I just don’t feel ready to say it.”

“Why not? You said it once already,” Morgan was confused.

“I think maybe it was just for the best that she didn’t hear it yet,” Auston felt the heat climbing his neck as he tugged at his collar. “I just think that’s too much too fast, and we’re still getting to know each other and figure it all out.”

“What is there to figure out?” Morgan pressed.

Auston hadn’t told anyone that he had been having doubts about him and Tessa, not even Mitch. He felt so guilty for how he was feeling, but if he were honest with himself, telling her he loved her so easily terrified him. His feelings for Tessa were big and loud and everywhere, and they were still so young. What if he messed this up? What if he did hurt her? They were both so busy with their own careers and lives and she was...she was perfect. And somehow, that made her even more terrifying.

“Matts, you can tell me,” Morgan whispered, knowing this was not the appropriate venue for this conversation, but also seeing his friend struggle made it seem necessary.

“Sometimes I just worry that I jumped into this too fast,” he admitted. “Don’t get me wrong, Tess is perfect and I do love her, but I’ve basically been one-track minded ever since we met and it’s just...all-consuming. My feelings for her just feel all-consuming all the time, and most of the time that’s great and amazing, but sometimes it’s just overwhelming and I worry about doing or saying the wrong thing and not being able to go back from that.”

“I mean, you are going to do or say the wrong thing sometimes, and so is she,” Morgan offered. “That’s normal in a relationship like this.”

“I know, I just don’t think if I’m ready for a relationship ‘like this’ and I feel awful even thinking that,” Auston pressed his hands to his eyes. He could feel a headache coming on. No more alcohol for him tonight, he figured.

“Look man, I can see how into her you are, I can see how amazing she is, and I can see how deeply you both care for each other,” Morgan clapped him on the back. “My advice, even though you didn’t ask for it, is just not to make any rash decisions based on fear. You don’t know what decisions you’ll be able to walk back later on,” Morgan nodded towards where the girls were making their way over and Auston stood up from his seat, turning to see Tessa looking at them curiously.

“What has you two so serious?” she asked, accepting her chair that Auston had politely pulled out for her.

“The usual,” Morgan offered when he could see Auston struggling.

“Sports,” Morgan, Tessa, and Stephanie all said at once, laughing at themselves.

“Well, no sports talk,” Steph reprimanded. “This night is supposed to be fun!”

“She’s right,” Tessa leaned over and tucked herself under Auston’s arm. “Fun,” she looked up at him, knowing there was more on his mind than he was letting on. Auston leaned down and placed a quick peck on her lips.

“Fun,” he repeated.

**

It was nearing 2am when Auston and Tessa climbed out of the Uber the Leafs had supplied for them. Tessa had Auston’s suit jacket wrapped around her shoulders tightly as they entered the building silently.

Neither had much to drink, both with so much on their minds, but they had a fun night with their friends. As they entered his apartment, Tessa slipped out of her heels and headed towards the bathroom to start to get ready for bed. She knew something was off with Auston tonight, but had just hoped it was about how badly the team had been playing lately. But she would catch him with a blank look on his face from time to time, clearly lost in thought. Sometimes she would feel him staring at her, but he would either wink or turn away quickly when he had been caught. She thought if she went to get ready for bed, it would give him some time to himself.

She stood in front of his bathroom mirror, taking out her earrings and pulling her hair out of its tight bun, as Auston walked in behind her and leaned against the door, keeping his eyes on hers in the mirror.

“Did you have fun tonight?” he asked. He knew he had been in his head all night and had hoped his behaviour didn’t ruin the night for her. She deserved to take it easy for once.

“I did,” she nodded, running a brush through her hair. “Thanks for having me.”

Auston reached out to take the brush from her hands, and took over for her. She sighed as he did. It was an oddly sweet gesture to have your hair brushed by someone else. “Well thanks for coming,” he responded, watching as her eyes closed. She looked peaceful. She looked beautiful. She looked...perfect.

Auston couldn’t help himself as he pushed his body up against her back, he mouth going right to her exposed neck. When he heard her little moan, he dropped the brush on the counter with a clank. He continued his attack on her neck, his hands rubbing up and down against the silky fabric of her dress.

“Auston,” Tessa moaned, the atmosphere in the room changing quickly. When she tried to turn to face him, he held on tighter, keeping her in place. He wanted to see her in the mirror.

“Mm mm,” he responded, as his hands finally found the hidden zipper on the side of the dress. He slowly slipped it down her body, revealing only a black thong. He knew she hadn’t been wearing a bra, and he was more than happy to have that confirmed as he stared at her nearly naked body in the mirror. He watched as her nipples perked, reaching up to gently squeeze her breasts. He could feel the heat radiating off of her.

“Auston,” Tessa repeated, trying not to lose herself right then and there.  

“You’re so beautiful, baby, you know that?” he whispered against her neck, as his hands pushed her thong down to the ground and his hand moved to cover the spot that had now been exposed. “Look at yourself.”

Tessa kept her eyes closed, pushing her bottom back into him, needing to feel him. It was obvious he was turned on, and she hated that he still had so many clothes on. Barriers. Clothes were just barriers to her in this moment.

“Tessa,” Auston’s hand on her heat stopped moving. “I want you to see yourself when I’m touching you. Open your eyes, baby.”

Tessa slowly opened her eyes, taking in her flushed face, hard nipples, and the sexy smile of the man behind her. She rolled her eyes playfully, before reaching down to press his hand against her heat again. “Keep going,” she whispered.

Auston, who wasn’t one to deny her a request, immediately started playing with her again, slipping a middle finger in slowly. “Oh, baby, you’re so ready for me,” he moaned, his dick straining against his dress paints. “Can you feel how ready you are, Tess?” he grabbed a hand that had been in his hair and replaced his finger with her own. The moan she let out was incredible. “Touch yourself, baby. Show me what you want.”

“Auston,” Tessa moaned, as he watched her slick fingers slide in and out. “Auston.”

“Tell me, baby, tell me what you want.”

“I want,” Tessa stuttered, trying to catch her breath. “I want you to take off your clothes. I want to feel you.”

“Feel me where, baby?” Auston asked as he pulled back slightly to unbutton his shirt and let it fall to the floor.

“I want-” Tessa sucked in a breath as she felt his clothed member brush against her naked behind.

“What Tess? What do you want?” he demanded as he slowly unzipped his pants and let them and his briefs fall to the ground. He kept his distance, not wanting her to feel him yet. He needed to hear her say it first.

Tessa sighed deeply, reaching for his hand to replace hers. He let her take it, but just kept it pressed against her. Tessa moaned and groaned, clearly frustrated.

“You have to say it, Tess,” he teased, his lips brushing against her neck softly.

“I want you to fuck me,” she finally breathed out, her eyes now wide open and staring into his in the mirror.

“Baby,” Auston pushed a finger into her, spreading her out, making sure she was ready for him. “I want to fuck you so hard, baby.” He pumped his fingers in and out faster as Tessa reached for her hips to pull him flush up against her backside. She wiggled her butt and that was all Auston needed. He reached over to grab a condom out of the top drawer and quickly slipped it on, all while holding her in place.

He spun her around, picked her up and sat her on the counter before sliding himself into her, groaning as he felt her stretch. Tessa’s hands fisted in his hair as she screamed incoherently, moving with his rhythm. Auston kept one hand on her backside and brought the other up to her face, making sure she was looking at him. He leaned in to kiss her deeply. He was nearing his climax and he could tell she was too.

“Tess, I’m-” he grunted.

“I know baby, I know,” she responded. “Me too.”

Auston thrusted in and out, keeping his eyes trained on hers. He wanted to see her face when she came.

“Baby, you have to come first,” he begged, it was getting too hard to hang on. “I need to see you come, Tess.”

Tessa moaned loudly, feeling her stomach start to clench. Auston could feel her walls tighten around him as she let out a loud exclaim. She tried to pull his head to her chest, but he held strong. He watched as the pleasure crossed her face, and knew he was done for in more ways than one.

He pumped one more time, finally spilling his release into the condom. He let his head head drop to her shoulder as she gently played with his hair. He could hear her heart pounding, could feel his pounding just the same. He slowly pulled out, but stayed in her embrace for a little while longer.

Finally, she lifted his head and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “Thanks,” she whispered. He laughed lightly. He was exhausted.

“You too, baby,” he kissed her again before pulling away and removing the condom. He washed his hands and then reached over to gently lift her off of the counter. When he placed her on the ground, he squeezed her close in a tight embrace.

After they both cleaned up, they climbed into bed, with Tessa tucked under his arm. She was sound asleep within minutes.

And yet, Auston, who had been exhausted before the night even began, was wide awake, his head swimming with thoughts.

He loved her and he knew now that she loved him.

His girlfriend, his dream girl, this stunning creature in his arms, loved him. She didn’t even have to say it, but Morgan was right. It was there and it was obvious.

She loved him. And he loved her.

And now he was going to have to end it.

Dammit.

Dammit.

[prettyboybarzal]

Good For You

A/N: Another self-indulgent Freddie fic <3 Just felt like part one needed a part two! So here she is. Enjoy and let me know what y’all think, as always :) 

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: An age gap and smut

Part One // Masterlist

Freddie thinks you’re too young for him, but you let him call you up for no-strings-attached sex anyway.

It happens for the first time about a week after the start of his season. He’s sore and needy, and you’re the person he thinks of because ever since he fucked you in Arizona, he hasn’t been able to think about anyone else. The sight of his name flashing across your phone screen throws you into a tailspin and after the third ring, you finally pick up.

“Hello?”

“Are you busy?”

“No, I was just cleaning up dinner.”

“You should come over.”

He hears you sigh and he knows that you’re thinking about saying no, but he’s sure he’ll combust if you do, so he jumps in again to stop you. 

“I’ll come to you.”

You let him in no more than twenty minutes later, shaking in anticipation for what’s to come as he shrugs his jacket off and slings it over a stool at your kitchen counter. And then his hands are on you and he’s placing you on the counter so he can slot himself between your thighs.

“I’ve been thinking about you every day since Arizona.”

He undresses you between kisses and spreads you out on the counter before kneeling between your thighs and eating you like you’re his last meal. He works you through three orgasms and stimulates you until his name becomes one with the curses and moans falling from your lips and you’re pulling at his hair to get him to stop.

He takes you on the living room couch later that night, rough and frenzied. His massive hand on the base of your neck, cheek pressed against the cushions as he fucks you into them.

“Fucking you is the best and worst decision I’ve ever made,” he grunts as he fills you up, free hand gripping your ass. “You’re addicting.”

He’s addicting, you decide after he leaves with a kiss against your forehead. You watch him disappear down the hall, legs aching, body shaking, and you know it won’t be the last you see of him. You have a feeling you’ll be seeing a lot more of each other, and true to his word, he’s back for more before you know it, like an addict.

The moment you open the apartment to him, he’s kissing you.

“Freddie, this is becoming a bad habit,” you murmur against his lips as he walks you backwards towards your bedroom. He huffs against your lips before pulling away. 

“What about this is bad?”

His lips ghost the skin of your neck and you sigh happily, tilting your head to the side to give him more skin to kiss. His hands engulf your entire ass as he presses you up against the wall. Your hands curl into his hair, tugging on the strands lightly as he kisses down to the valley of your breasts. 

He places your feet back on the ground and pulls your thong and leggings off, kicking them down the hall once you’ve removed them. Your hands make quick work of his belt buckle and jeans, but he only lets them fall to his ankles before he’s pushing you back up against the wall and entering you.

Your gasp fills the room and he gives you a minute to adjust before he’s pulling out and thrusting back into you. One hand rests above your head while the other grips your waist, keeping you steady against the wall. 

“You like when I fuck you like this?” he asks, even though he knows the answer. Of all the women he’s been with, you’re the dirtiest. That’s part of the reason he keeps finding himself crawling back to you, among other things that he hasn’t quite unpacked yet.

“So much,” you moan. “Fuck me harder, Fred.” 

He sucks marks into your neck and against your collarbone as he slams into you. Your moans fill the room, whining and whimpering until you reach your high. It doesn’t take long, seeing as your pinned against the wall with him surrounding you. With a few more thrusts, your pussy is pulsing around him and he’s filling you up, teeth scraping your neck as he groans against your skin.

When he finally pulls out, Freddie places you gently on the ground and pulls up his jeans. He’s blushing all over, smiling to himself as he watches you retrieve your clothing from the floor. He presses you back against the wall once your dressed and meets you in the middle with a filthy open-mouthed kiss because he just doesn’t know how to keep his hands off you. He wonders if he ever will.

“I love fucking you,” he admits. “More than you even know.”

- 

Freddie thinks you’re too young for him, but you end up as his plus-one to a Leafs event anyway.

It’s not a great idea, but after Auston suggests it over dinner one night, Freddie can’t seem to shake the idea from his head, so he asks you to come. 

But, that’s not the extent of it and he ends up finding a dress a few weeks before the event while he’s shopping for himself. He tries to talk himself out of buying it for you, only to find himself buying it the next day. It’s silk with thin straps and a slit up the leg. He can practically picture it on you and can’t help the smirk that comes to his lips when he thinks about taking it off.

You arrive home to it a day later and find yourself speechless after slipping it on. It’s just right for you, in every way, and you feel seen by Freddie. You feel like he gets you in a way that no one ever has before. Scenarios fill your head of the two of you together, hand-in-hand, kissing in front of his teammates and his bosses. You find yourself hoping they’ll come to fruition when he brings you to the gala.

You snap a picture of yourself in the mirror and send it to him and you’re satisfied when he texts back: I can’t wait to take that dress off you.

The event arrives and the moment you pull up to the banquet hall, you’re regretting the decision to come.

“Are you sure about this?” you ask in front of the banquet hall. He looks confused by the question, but then he smiles. 

“Of course,” he answered nonchalantly. “It’ll be fun.”

You manage to evade the media scrum outside the event, having been swept up by Steph after getting out of the limo, and you wait for Freddie at the bar. When he enters the room, he searches for you and you watch, basking in the feeling of being wanted by him. His eyes finally land on you and a smile reaches his eyes as you wave the glass of liquor you’d bought for him in the air.

“Thank you,” he whispers as he steps up to you. His large hand settles against your back and he tugs you against his body, mere inches separating your lips. You hope he’ll kiss you. This is the moment you spent your nights daydreaming about, embarrassingly enough, but then he pulls away and you’re left feeling deflated

“Mr. Frederik Andersen.”

A man in a tailored suit steps up to shake his hand and you have a sneaking suspicion as to why he pulled away from you now. Freddie greets him, then his wife, and then the man looks at you. 

“And this must be your significant other.”

“Oh, no,” Freddie speaks, brushing off the mistake a little too easily. “This is a good friend of Auston’s, and myself.”

You swallow thickly, pride getting caught in your throat on the way down. There was a moment, a pause between Auston’s name and his, like he doesn’t want to admit there’s something there between the two of you. He places his hand on the small of your back once more. It feels foreign, like it doesn’t belong there, and you want to jerky away from him, but you grin and bear it for the sake of the event.

For the rest of the night, he charms everyone in the room while you sit at the table. You feel like you don’t belong, and maybe you don’t because Freddie’s done an awful job at making you feel welcome.

His eyes don’t ever really leave you throughout his orbit of the room, but he looks away for a moment when the DJ calls attention to the dance floor for the last slow dance of the night. When he looks over to your table in hopes that you’ll dance with him, you’re not there and he catches sight of you slipping through the doors to the hallway.

He rushes out to the hall to catch you.

“Baby.”

“Oh, I’m baby now,” you murmur to yourself. “Not Auston’s friend.”

“Where’ve you been all night, huh?” he asks, pressing you against the wall with his hips, clearly not having heard what you muttered. He’s smiling, but he sees the unhappiness in your features. He leans in to kiss you only to be shoved away. “What are you worried about? No one’s even out here to see us.” 

“I don’t want to kiss you in public,” you growl, ducking beneath his arm and disappearing into the bathroom.

You avoid him through your cab ride to the club and ignore him at the bar. Everyone notices how cold you’re being towards him because it’s unusual, even he expects you to land in his lap at some point. And you know that he’s still watching you while deep in conversation with Mitch and Morgan a few steps away, he’s still wondering what to do about the situation he’s found himself in.

“Fred’s in the dog house with his girl.”

“She’s not my girl, Mitchy.”

“Oh, c’mon,” Morgan scoffed. “You’ve been together for a bit, no?” 

“We’ve just been sleeping together. She’s too young for me.”

He thinks his voice is low enough, but there’s a lull in the conversation you’re having with Steph that allows you to hear it. She sees your ears perk up and your eyebrows draw together and worry etches across her features.

“Let’s get another drink,” she suggests. But you’re sure that another drink would send you over the edge, so you decline, saying that you’d rather get ready to head home. While she scampers back to Mitch, you gather your things. 

“Where are you going?”

Freddie’s just a step and a half away from you, eyebrows creased in concern as you stuff your phone into your purse. You don’t even spare him a glance over your shoulder as you answer. 

“Home.”

“Without me?” 

“Yeah, Fred, without you,” you growl, finally turning to glare at him. You march off, leaving Freddie in your dust to digest the words thrown at him, but he finds you again on the sidewalk.

“What’s wrong with you tonight?”

“I’m just not doing this with you anymore,” you announced, waving a hand between you. “You seem to think you’re the only one calling the shots here, Freddie, but I have feelings too! You can’t just come over and use me, fuck me, and then go around telling people that I’m too young for you. I’m not just somewhere to put your dick.”

Your words make his blood run cold and then he’s reaching for you desperately, but you step out of his grasp completely and his hands drop to his sides.

“And seeing as how poorly you’ve handled this situation, I am positive that despite the years between us, even I might be too mature for you,” you growl. “Goodbye, Fred.”

-

Freddie thinks you’re too young for him, but why should he give a fuck anyway?

That’s the conclusion he’s come to after being without you for almost a month.

He’s out on a date with a woman just a few months younger than him and he’s bored. He can’t help but imagine what it would be like to have you sitting across from him. He knows he’d be laughing, he knows you’d be trying to turn him on beneath the table, and he knows that he’d make love to you for the rest of the night after that.

Except he can’t have any of that because he fucked up, but the thought of you with him is all consuming and he ends up driving to your apartment after the date to try and salvage your relationship anyway.

“I want you.”

Those three words smack you in the face the moment you open the door to him. 

“I said I don’t want to sleep with you anymore, Freddie.”

“I want you more than that,” he speaks, taking another step into the apartment. You press a hand against his chest and lightly shove him back into the hallway. He tosses his hands up in frustration before carding his fingers through his hair. “C’mon, YN, will you listen to me?” 

“I’m listening.”

You hope that he can’t see through your glare. It’s hard to keep up a front when he’s standing in front of you for the first time in a month and he looks like that. His sleeves are rolled to his elbows and the pants he’s wearing are the type that hug his thighs and ass perfectly. You could climb him like a tree, and if you’re not careful, you would do it before he even began to grovel. 

“I’m an idiot.”

“Good start.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” he sighs. “I don’t know why I let you go. I was on a date tonight and I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. She wasn’t you. I couldn’t do it.” 

There’s a pause and Freddie could hear his heart pounding in his ears, hoping you’d be willing to forgive him.

“Freddie, you could date hundreds of women, older than me, younger than me, older than you, the same age as you,” you list. “But you will never find someone exactly like me. Do you get that?” 

“Trust me, I do,” he murmurs, stepping forward as if he’s suddenly absolved of all the bullshit. You take another step backwards, keeping the distance between you, and he groans, head thrown back in frustration. Then, he drops to his knees right in the doorway. “C’mon, baby, what do I have to do?”

“Fred, get up.” 

“I’m begging here, sweetheart,” he coos in a soft voice. You roll your eyes, a laugh spilling out of your mouth involuntarily. And then he’s wrapping his arm around your leg and placing a kiss on the inside of your knee before creating a path of kisses up your thigh.

“I have neighbors!” you scold, a little pathetically, but a little frantically as you glance down the hall. When you look down at him again, see his blue eyes gazing up at you from between your legs, feel his breath fan across your core over your shorts, it sends a wave of goosebumps over your body.

“Let me in and I’ll make it up to you.”

You yank him up by the forearm and he comes stumbling along with you into the apartment, your lips meeting for the first time in a month.

“You have a lot of groveling to do.”

“This is just a start, okay?” he asks, hands finding their way beneath your shirt. “I’ll make it up to you a hundred different ways, or in a hundred different positions, whatever you want.” 

“I just want you.”

He throws you over his shoulder and carries you down to your bedroom, dropping you square onto the mattress where he looms over you, lips finding yours once more.

“Let me show you how good you are for me,” he whispers. “How good we are for each other.” 

He kisses down your neck, fingers toying with the hem of your t-shirt until he’s got it up and over your head. Your bra goes next and you moan as he sucks on your breasts. He continues peppering kisses along your stomach until his fingers curl beneath the band of your shorts and they join the shirt on the floor.

“Cute,” he remarks at the bow on the front of your lace panties. You blush, hand covering your face to hide it, and then you gasp because he’s placed a kiss against the cotton covering your core. 

“Fuck, Freddie.”

He tugs the panties down and tosses them on the floor with your other clothes. His tongue begins to massage your folds a moment later and you squirm at the sudden contact. Freddie drops an arm over your waist to keep you from moving, adjusting himself so your legs are over his shoulders.

He inserts two fingers into your cunt to work in tandem with his tongue and you grip the sheets at the added pressure, back arching in pleasure. He moves his fingers slow to start and then begins fucking you with them, faster and harder and soon, you’re gripping the sheets, back arching in pleasure. 

He sucks your clit, licks your folds, and curls his fingers in your pussy until your screaming, until you squirt into his mouth and your wet is dripping down his chin. Your chest is heaving when he pulls away with a smile.

“I didn’t know you could do that.” 

“Me neither.”

He crawls back up to loom over you and kisses you slowly, tongue swiping along your bottom lip before he tugs it between his teeth. 

“Why are you still clothed?”

“This is all about you,” he answers, kisses peppering along your collarbone and neck while you catch your breath. He pulls away and gazes at you playfully. “Should I not be clothed?”

“Well, I don’t know how you’re going to fuck me with your clothes still on.”

He laughs gruffly and then sucks in a deep breath as your fingers find his belt buckle. His pants are kicked off the bed moments later and you kiss as his shirt is unbuttoned and shrugged off his shoulders. Your hands dance along his skin, curling around his shoulders and tracing his muscles. It feels surreal to have him again, hovering over you as you kiss softly. It feels even better when he enters you slowly, softly.

Freddie can’t believe he ever thought he could live without you. How stupid of him to care about the difference of age when you were so perfect, so special, so you? 

“Fred, I missed you,” you sigh as he rolls his hips with yours, both of you on the edge of desire. He sighs into your neck.

“You have no idea, YN.”

Your orgasms come quicker than they ever have before and you’re seeing stars within minutes. He fucks you through both of your highs, lips only leaving yours for a moment to moan into your skin as he cums. He rolls off you after, but his arm wraps around your shoulders to pull you with him so your head rests against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, pressing a kiss against your forehead. You responded with a content hum, wrapping your arm around his waist tighter. “I’m an idiot. You’re everything to me.”

“Is now a bad time to tell you that you’re too old for me?” you tease. He sits up immediately to glare at you. When you start giggling, he rolls his eyes and flips you onto your stomach. His lips skirt over your shoulders to your ear where he takes your lobe between his teeth before pulling away to whisper in your ear.

“Too old, huh? Do you need me to remind you how loud I can get you to scream my name?”

“Please, daddy,” you whimper, pressing your naked ass against his bulge. He groans and you know that you’ve got him right where you want him, and he’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Freddie’s yours and you’re his, and there’s nothing that can come between the two of you—not even a couple of years.

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 25

A/N: So this chapter begins the first mention of COVID-19 for the story.  I know it’s not much but I did want to put a little disclaimer because I know it was a traumatic event for many people, especially those who were affected by it personally.  We will obviously get deeper into it as the story progresses in the next chapters (judging by the date...it’s time!) 

Also, no @’ing me about what happens here with a certain someone.

March 2nd, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was paying attention to the news at the airport.

“While the first case of what epidemiologists are referring to as COVID-19 was recorded in Toronto on January 25th, the novel coronavirus is still baffling some scientists in terms of its symptoms.  They range from severe in some, to completely asymptomatic in others.  While there are currently less than twenty cases in Toronto thus far, Ontario health officials have recorded three news cases today.  One is a man in his 60s who returned on a flight from Egypt, while the other two are women in their 60s and 70s returning on a flight from Egypt.  Public health officials are encouraging individuals to wash their hands frequently and exercise caution whenever and wherever possible.”

“Want some hand sanitizer?” John asked from beside her.  He was laid out in the chair beside her while her knees were against her chest.

She nodded, leaving her bag of pretzels in her lap before she extended her hand and he squirted some Purell onto her hand.  John always had everything readily available – hand sanitizer, band aids, healthy granola bars, breath mints – she was sure he probably had a spare hair elastic in his backpack too, and a full surgery kit for all she knew.  She rubbed the sanitizer in between her hands.  “What do you think about all this?” she asked, motioning towards the TV monitor.

John shrugged.  “I’m a bit nervous about it,” he admitted.  “I know that Aryne is taking some extra precautions with Jace.  A lot of her friends from Queen’s ended up going to med school so she’s friends with a lot of doctors and listening to their advice.”

“I guess we should all be.”

“Wouldn’t hurt, right?” John asked rhetorically.  “Better safe than sorry.  What do you think about it?”

Aberdeen pursed her lips slightly.  “I have no clue.  Science goes way above my head.  But if doctors and epidemiologists are going to tell me to do something – or not do something – so I don’t get sick, I’m going to do it – or not do it – whatever.”

“Atta girl,” John smiled.  “Just listen to the experts.”

“That’s why I listen to you about hockey,” she winked.

He laughed out loud.  “You butter me up too much.  What are you looking for?  A granola bar?  You already have pretzels.”

“Not everything with me has to do with food.”

“Really?”

She pinched him.

***

March 5th, 2020

It was 24 Celsius in Los Angeles, and Aberdeen was loving it.  Though the Leafs had suffered a bit of an embarrassing loss to San Jose the night before, today the team had a day off before they had back to back games against the Kings and Ducks.  Some of them were going shopping on Rodeo Drive (Auston, Frederik), and some were visiting old friends since being traded (Kyle, Jack), but most were doing exactly what Aberdeen wanted to do: going to the beach.

They decided on Malibu Beach.  It was only a thirty minute drive from the hotel, so Aberdeen put on her bathing suit and packed herself in a car with John, Jason, and Justin Holl.  William, Rasmus, Kappy, and Pierre followed in another, with Tyson and Mitch tagging along in the last car too.  It may not have been super-hot to Californians, but for sun-starved Canadians, it would do.  The sun was out, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and she was going to tan the entire afternoon.  She would take advantage of it as much as possible.

As she helped set up the blankets and beach towels, she watched as Mitch and Tyson already stripped down to their bathing suits and ran into the ocean together.  Pierre was setting up some Bluetooth speakers and John was passing around the sunscreen.  The visual of these men rubbing sunscreen across their abs made Aberdeen’s heart flutter – but then the image of them having to slather sunscreen all over each other’s backs brought her back down to earth.  She chuckled to herself and shook her head.

“Aberdeen, sunscreen!” John tossed the bottle towards her.  She caught it and stripped down to her tankini before squirting some onto her legs and arms, making sure to cover herself thoroughly.  She could tell William was watching but trying not to make it seem like he was.  Jason took care of her back.  

The guys did their own thing while Aberdeen read her book and tanned.  She could hear them screaming every now and then and watched as they gave each other piggyback rides and splashed water at each other like they were a peewee hockey team on a weekend tournament.  Every now and again someone would come back to the blankets and beach towels to relax, but soon enough, they were back in the ocean, being loud and obnoxious but happy, happy boys.

“Whatcha reading?” Tyson asked as he walked towards her, wet from the salt water and sand sticking to his legs.  She flashed the book at him – Milkman by Anna Burns – and he squinted his eyes to see it properly in the sunlight.  “Is it about milk?” he asked.

She shorted.  She remembered back to when she was reading Women Talking by Miriam Toews and William asked “Do women talk in it?” like a smartass.  “It’s about a woman in what’s very obviously Belfast coming of age during the Troubles.  I thought it might give me some more insight into what my mom grew up in.”

“Is it any good?  Was it as good as the one you were reading last week on the plane?  Normal Girls or whatever it was?”

Aberdeen giggled.  “Normal People, you mean?  No, it’s not as good as that.  Fuck, I loved that book.”

“I know.  You wouldn’t shut up about it!” he joked, wiping his body off.  From behind him, Aberdeen could see John making his way towards them.  William was still off in the ocean, throwing a football between him, Pierre, and Mitch.  “Think you can teach Mitch how to read?”

Aberdeen smiled.  “I can certainly try.”

As if on cue, Mitch’s booming voice was heard.  “Hey T-Bear!  Get over here!” he yelled, putting everything he had into his throw of the football so it reached Tyson, who caught it expertly.

“See ya later, Aberdeen,” he said before running off, throwing the football towards Pierre who had to dive into the water to catch it.

Instead of focusing on the water cascading down Pierre’s abs or the sunlight hitting William’s broad shoulders perfectly, making him look like some Norse god, she focused her attention on John.  “You feeling good?” she asked.

“The best,” he nodded, wiping himself off before lying the towel down again and sitting on it, bringing his knees up and wrapping his arms around them.  “You’ve already gotten some colour,” he commented.

“Thank God,” she said, looking down at her arms.  “The winter has made me so pale.  It’s a bummer I didn’t get my dad’s skin tone.  My sister and brother got lucky with that.”

“You took after the Scottish side?” he asked.  Aberdeen nodded.  “I get it,” he said.  “Aryne can’t tan either.  She burns too easily.”

“Wonder if the Swedes are going to look like tomatoes in a couple of hours,” she said, nodding her head towards them.  “Imagine they’re on TV and beet red?  I might get fired for not slathering sunscreen on you guys or not telling you to put on some hats.”

John laughed out loud, choosing to lean back on his elbows.  “I don’t know about that, Aberdeen.  Something tells me you’ll be around for a long time if certain people have anything to say about it – well, until you want to leave, that is.”

Aberdeen’s body stiffened slightly at his words.  “Wh…what do you mean?” she asked.  

“Ah, nothing serious, Aberdeen.  Don’t worry,” he said, shaking his head.  With the silence between them, Aberdeen thought he may have dropped it, but he didn’t.  He was just preparing to articulate what he wanted to say.  “It’s not just Brendan liking you, you know.  We know William has, like, the biggest crush on you, okay?  We’re all adults here,” he said to her shock.  “It’s cute, but we all know it’s harmless.”

“It is harmless,” she stressed.

“I know, Aberdeen.  Don’t worry.”

“Don’t for a second forget that you’re all Toronto Maple Leafs,” she said.  “Every job in this organization is a dream job for someone and you guys forget that some people spend their entire lives, their entire careers, building up their resumes waiting to get hired by this organization.  Nobody would ever, ever, under any circumstances, want to do anything to fuck it up, because once you’re done here, there’s nowhere else to go.”

“I knooooow, I know.  I’m just ribbing you like we rib him about it,” he smiled.  He was so jovial about it all that Aberdeen calmed down a bit.  He wasn’t trying to get to the bottom of something like he was when he and Morgan asked her about Ethan – he was just being good-humoured.  A human, not a captain of a hockey team.  Maybe her overreaction was a bit much but she needed to remain guarded and vigilant about it if ever, and whenever the guys brought it up.  “He looks at you googly-eyed all the time even though he knows nothing’s ever gonna happen.  I’m pretty sure he’d cry whenever you leave.”

Aberdeen snorted.  Cry from joy, probably, because that would mean they could actually touch each other in public.  “He told you that?  That nothing is ever gonna happen?”

John nodded his head.  “Well, nothing’s ever gonna happen as long as you work here,” he clarified.  “But don’t tell him I told you.  He kind of figures and we all know it’s a lost cause as long as you’re working here.”

Aberdeen nodded, deciding not to say anything as she looked out into the distance.  The boys were still throwing the football, and Justin was attempting a yoga pose on the beach.  She picked up her book and buried her head in it.

***

Adrian Kempe, a Swedish friend of William’s, recommended a taco restaurant in Malibu for the group to have dinner.  It wasn’t a far drive from where they were on the beach, so at around six in the evening, they shook the sand off the towels and packed them back in the cars and headed to Café Habana.  Aberdeen was in the car with John, Jason, and Justin again.  

When they arrived at the restaurant, she looked out the backseat window to see Kappy making a beeline towards someone.  The girl, Aberdeen soon noticed, was Saylor.  She figured Saylor was here for another modelling gig, though Aberdeen did find it somewhat amusing that Saylor always popped up in cities or areas with…well, shall we say distractions.  She was in New York.  Las Vegas.  Aberdeen knew she’d been to Florida.  Now she was in LA.  Saylor didn’t go Columbus or Colorado.  

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,” Saylor squealed as she saw Willy, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him.  “Surrrrrpriiiiise!”

“Surprise,” he smirked, but Aberdeen could tell he wasn’t as excited as she was.  “Here for some modelling?”

“Who wouldn’t want to come down to LA to model?  I just came from a shoot,” she said, now focusing her attention on Aberdeen.  “Hey girl!” she squealed again.  

“Hi Saylor,” she smiled.

“I’m so glad I won’t be the only girl here tonight,” she smirked.  “The boys can get so boring sometimes.”

“Aberdeen’s used to it by now,” Jason piped in.  “She’s only been travelling with us since September.”

The group moved towards the restaurant and were seated in the back patio at a long table.  Aberdeen was squished in between Jason and John, and directly across from her sat Willy, Pierre to his right and Saylor to his left.  Saylor and Kasperi didn’t even have to sit down to ask the waiter and waitress attending to them if they had oysters.  They didn’t.  With one quick look at the menu, and a disproportionately long discussion requiring everybody’s calculators to be out to determine how many orders of tacos were required for everybody to have three tacos each (much to Aberdeen’s entertainment), the group ordered four orders of every taco variation (and there were five of them) on the menu, along with some sides of baby broccoli, sautéed zucchini, and French fries.  As a dining group of 11, it should have been more than enough food.  She felt bad for the chefs, but knew the food would be amazing.  She saw it being brought to a table near them and it looked delectable.  

While Aberdeen maintained professionalism at all times when she was in front of the guys, when the tacos came, that professionalism waned.  She made sure to grab the four tacos she was guaranteed and wanted and piled them onto her plate.  They looked delicious.  Even as she bit into her first one, she moaned audibly at the taste, making the guys around her laugh.  Willy eyed her as she did so, taking a bite out of his own.

“So what have you been up to?” Saylor asked Aberdeen as she crunched on a French fry.  “Kappy told me it was your birthday?”

“It was!  I turned 22.”

“Ohmigod, I remember my 22nd birthday.  We went to the rooftop bar at the Bowery Hotel in New York City,” Saylor said.  Aberdeen knew it would be something ultra-luxurious because that was the only way Saylor seemed to roll.  “What did you end up doing?”

“Oh, a bunch of friends and I just got a booth and bottle service at a club.  Nothing as fancy as that,” Aberdeen answered.  

“How many were you?”

“I’d say about twenty.”

Saylor’s eyes bulged a bit.  “When you get older, your friend group gets soooo small,” she said, her tone making it seem like she was the all-knowledgeable big sister bestowing wise knowledge upon Aberdeen.  Saylor was only a year older than her.  If it was Jen, Aryne, or Bee giving this advice, fine – but not Saylor.  “My friend group is so small now.  All the drama that goes on between people is just so tiring, you know?  Less people, less drama.”

Aberdeen didn’t want to be rude, so she nodded her head.  “I can get that.  These are all people I’ve known since high school and throughout university, though.  We’ve already been friends for a long time.”

“And you’re still friends with them?” Saylor asked.

Aberdeen nodded her head.  Before she could say anything else, John piped up.  “I think that’s a testament to your character more so than anything, Aberdeen.”

“But it could also speak to, like, the way people are,” Saylor went on.  Aberdeen indulged her, looking at her so she would continue.  “Like, when I was in high school – my family is from Lake Forest, and I went to Lake Forest Academy – I found out this one friend was talking behind my back and I totally ditched her.  But then we ended up at the same college, and it was really weird for a while, but then we ended up becoming friends!”

Aberdeen didn’t know what point she was trying to make.  Neither did anybody else listening, judging by the looks on their faces.  “That’s good you were able to turn the relationship around,” she commented, not knowing what else to say.

Saylor looked very proud of herself.  “Besides that, what else have you been up to?  Are you still just, like, Brendan’s assistant?”

Aberdeen bit her tongue to smile curtly.  “Just.”

“And a great one at that,” Jason said before stuffing his mouth with a taco.

“I guess that’s enough for you,” Saylor commented.

Aberdeen almost dropped her taco.  So did Jason.  Willy was looking in between them.  She didn’t know how to respond at this point and not sound rude when Saylor’s rudeness was so blatantly obvious.  Aberdeen still wasn’t sure whether or not Saylor actually had the capacity to be underhanded.  She was starting to err on the side of Saylor knowing exactly what she was saying to people but saying it in such a way and with such a tone that everyone thought she was just dumb and didn’t know better.  Aberdeen began to believe Saylor did know better, and her act wasn’t fooling Aberdeen anymore.  It made her reconsider what Saylor said to her in New York about her nose.  “It’s actually not enough for me, but it’s what’s paying the bills right now and I’m not going to discuss career aspirations at the dinner table in front of people who are technically my colleagues and who don’t want to see me leave anytime soon.”

“But you can’t be in a job you hate just because it pays the bills!” she said like some dreamer.  “You need to go out there and be creative!  Cultivate!  Be artistic!  Design!  Sometimes the best opportunities come when you just drop everything, quit your job, and start hustling as you do what you love!”

Aberdeen felt her blood begin to boil.  She tried to remain calm.  “One – I never said I hated my job.  I love this job and I love the people I work with,” she clarified.  “Two – that’s a bit easy to say for someone with family money who grew up in Lake Forest and went to a private school.  I have rent to pay.  Bills – groceries, my cell phone, internet, stuff for my cat – I can’t just up and quit my job with a steady income to hustle and be creative when I have a shit ton of responsibilities.”

“I’m sure your parents would help you if it’s your dream and it’s something you really wanted to do.”

“No, they wouldn’t,” Aberdeen deadpanned.  “My parents have their own shit to deal with.  My mom would kick my ass if I was that stupid.  I mean, my parents are immigrants, so that goes without saying.  They don’t owe me a dollar, and I would never ask them for it.  I would never do that to them.”

“What about your grandparents?”

Aberdeen could feel John, Jason, Pierre, and Willy deflate at the question.  It was almost comical.  “I think you’re missing the point, Saylor,” Jason said nicely.  “Aberdeen is already hustling to get to an end-goal of writing.  This job is actually helping her get to that goal.”

“Writing?” Saylor questioned.  “I thought for sure you wanted to, like, work in sports or broadcasting or something.  Writing, then?  That makes sense, I guess.  Better for you to stick behind the cameras.”

Aberdeen wondered if everybody else could hear what Saylor was saying too.  She felt like she was in the twilight zone or something.  It confirmed to her that Saylor knew exactly what she was saying.  “Yeah, I guess.  Kind of how it’s better for you to be in front of the cameras because you thrive on attention.”

“Yes!  Modelling is all about getting attention and hype around your brand,” she smiled sincerely, so happy that the topic was back on her and her modelling.  She didn’t get the subtle dig at her…extracurricular activities that took up more of people’s attention than any work or collaborations or modelling she’d done.  “I’m working so hard to build mine now, which is why I’m in LA having meetings and doing more collabs.”

“Is modelling enough for you?” Jason asked.

Aberdeen almost spit out her water, but Willy beat her to it.  She saw Saylor’s face light up even more.  “Oh my God, yes.  I looove modelling.  I’m soooo into the creative aspect of it and building my brand.”

“That’s great, Saylor,” Aberdeen smiled.  “I’m really glad that it’s working out for you considering how much you love it.”

“Thanks, girl,” she winked.  “It’s hard because the industry is so saturated these days.  I mean we were talking about this in New York.  Every girl with an iPhone, some makeup, and good angles thinks she’s a model.  It really takes someone creative like me to stand out.  Someone with a unique look and a unique brand,” she went on.  “Like your nose, you know?  It’s big.  Huge.  We talked about that.  You could get a nose job, or you could work with it.  Most would get a nose job.”  

Jason was ready for Aberdeen to snap.  So was John.  So was Pierre.  But William knew better.  When he saw Aberdeen smile, close-mouthed, just a hint of a coy grin playing on her face, he knew better.  “I have a Virginia Woolf nose,” Aberdeen said.  “It reminds me of how much I want to become a writer and not a model.”

***

“I feel like I just watched a WWE match on pay-per-view,” Aberdeen overheard Justin say to Jason in a low voice as they trailed behind her in the parking lot (he sat beside Jason during the meal and had heard everything, but even if he hadn’t sat beside him, Aberdeen had a feeling he still would have heard).  After the tacos were eaten, everybody decided to call it a night and go back to the hotel – well, mostly everyone.  Saylor wanted to go out for drinks somewhere else in Malibu.  Everybody else politely declined.

“Yeah, except it was pretty one-sided,” Jason said in an equally low voice.  “It’s like Aberdeen was Stone Cold Steve Austin and Saylor was the poor jobber her stunnered every Monday night.”

“You picked up on the nose comment too, right?  I mean she was basically telling Aberdeen to get a nose job?” Justin asked.

“Yup,” Jason popped the P sound.  

“I thought I was going crazy when I heard it.”

“Yeah, me too.  But from what I’ve heard from Jen I didn’t expect more from her.”

“It’s good that Aberdeen is mature.  I think if it were me at 22, I would have lunged across the table,” Justin commented.

***

“Who’s Virginia Woolf?”

Aberdeen was lying naked in her hotel bed, tits out, with William lying by her side after he’d fucked her, and that was the question he asked.  Aberdeen smiled.  She loved William and she knew him – she really did, at least she liked to think – but sometimes she didn’t understand how his brain worked.  She knew she liked to call him “Head Empty”, but sometimes she wasn’t so sure.  He clearly had thoughts.  He just brought them up at weird times.  “She was a writer in the early 1900s,” she answered, laughing slightly.

“And you want to be like her?”

She shook her head.  “I’d like my writing to be like her writing.”

“Why don’t you want to be like her?”

“She filled her pockets with rocks and committed suicide by drowning herself in the river behind her home,” she said, looking over at him.  His face was blank, processing the information, and she smiled wider.  “Maybe if my writing was like hers, I’d actually get published in Toronto Life or something.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

Her smile faded.  She hadn’t told him yet.  She’d wanted to keep it to herself for as long as possible because she didn’t want to burden him with the news.  “I did try.  I sent in one of my personal essays and they rejected it.  They sent me the email on my birthday.”

William remained silent.  He saw the look on Aberdeen’s face and knew that she felt embarrassed and disappointed – in herself, in her writing.  He wrapped an arm around her and propped himself up on his elbow so he could look down at her.  “Minskatt…”

“Don’t, Willy.  You’re going to make me cry.”

“No,” he shook his head, not accepting what she was saying.  “After the Carolina game you told me I needed to talk more and that you’d listen.  Well, you need to talk now and I’ll listen,” he said.  “Talk to me, minskatt.  I’m listening.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and it wasn’t because of her writing getting rejected anymore.  It was because of the man hovering over her.  His head may by empty, but Aberdeen was sure his heart was full of gold.  She didn’t know how she got so lucky.  She didn’t know how he was hers.  “I just don’t know how much more rejection I can take,” she whispered.  “I try and I try and I write and I write and I read so I can write better and nothing is working.  Nothing,” her voice was shaky.  “I just want an editor to read my writing and say ‘This is what I’ve been looking for all along.’  But that hasn’t happened yet.  And I’m scared it’s never going to happen.”

“It’ll happen one day, minskatt.  I promise you,” William encouraged as he tightened his grip around her with his one arm.  “You’re so talented.  Your dreams are going to come true and you’re going to look back and wonder why you ever doubted yourself.”

“Do you doubt me?” she asked suddenly.

“No,” William said without hesitation.  “Not for a second.”

Aberdeen stayed silent, bringing a hand up to wipe the few tears that had fallen down the side of her face.  She rested it on William’s forearm draped across her body.  “When I get like this, all my insecurities come out.  About my future, about everything.  Maybe I was never destined to be a writer.  Maybe I was destined to be a personal assistant or a bank teller.  Maybe I was destined just to be normal girl with a big nose and nothing special.”

“How can you say you’re nothing special when you’re my treasure?” he asked, burying his face in the crook of her neck and placing a light kiss there.  She couldn’t help but smile, and he smiled at the fact he made her smile.  “That has to count for something, right minskatt?” he stressed the word.

She nodded.  “It counts for everything.”  She looked directly into his baby blues, barely blinking.  “The second I leave here I’m going to plant the biggest kiss on your lips, Willy.  You have absolutely no idea.”

That caused William to laugh out loud before he bent down and gave her a quick kiss.  “Not if I beat you to it,” he said.

“You won’t.  Trust me.  God, I can hardly wait,” she said.  “I still don’t know why you keep waiting for me.”

“Are you listening?” he asked.

“Mhm.”

“I wait for you because I love you.  Because I love everything about you.”

“Even my big nose?”

“My favourite part of you,” he kissed the tip of it.  She could have cried again.  “It’s what makes you you.  I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

When she craned her neck to kiss him, she made sure to wrap her arms around his body and pull him close, wanting to feel his body on top of hers.  He got the hint, and stuck his tongue down her throat, and they kissed until he was hard again.  Though he hadn’t expected a second round, he was more than willing to partake.  He even made sure to bring extra condoms.  He always did now – since Valentine’s Day.  He had them everywhere: in his wallet, in his suitcase, in his shoe.  “I love you minskatt,” he mumbled against her lips.

She didn’t respond at first.  But when she did, it was with something he wasn’t expecting.  “Tell me how you want me.”

He froze for a brief second, the previous conversation they were just having still fresh in his mind.  “What?”

“Do you want me from behind?  On top?” she asked in a breathy voice.

He groaned.  “On top.”  

They switched positions so he was lying on his back.  Aberdeen climbed on top of him.  “Willy?” she asked.  “Can we…can we try something different?”

He nodded quickly.  “What is it, Aberdeen?”

“Can we…” she began, almost a bit embarrassed.  “Can I try reverse cowgirl?”

William couldn’t help but smile.  “Of course,” he said, gripping at her hips.  

“D’you have another condom?”

“My back pocket.”

She dismounted him, leaning over the bed to grab his pants on the floor and retrieve the packet.  When she straddled him again, she did it so her back was to his face.  He could feel her pump him a few times before she rolled on the condom, and he sighed at the feeling.  She looked over her shoulder at him.  “I love you, Willy.”

“I love you too,” he said, his hands back on her hips.  He helped her lower herself onto him, the both of the moaning at the feeling.  He loved watching himself disappear inside of her.  He noticed she wasn’t moving yet.  “You okay?” he asked.  

Aberdeen nodded her head.  “It feels so good,” she said.  “I’ve never…you know…”

“It’s okay,” he said, understanding what she wasn’t saying.  He couldn’t believe that her previous sexual partners were so selfish that they never let her explore what she liked or what she could possibly like or positions she could do.  He shuddered at the thought of her potentially asking and being turned down.  It made him angry just thinking about it.  He didn’t want her to be that way with him.  He wanted her to be completely open.  “Do what you feel comfortable with, minskatt.”

She began rolling her hips back and forth.  William groaned in response, and he could feel Aberdeen’s hands grip his thighs and her nails dig in slightly.  As she rocked herself on his cock, she began to moan, gasping out anytime William would buck his hips slightly.  He had to admit he liked the view, but what he liked even more was that she was enjoying herself on top of him, doing what she wanted.  

“Willy?” she asked suddenly.  She looked over her shoulder at him again.  She looked so innocent and he knew that she meant to do it, and he almost exploded right then and there as she bat her eyelashes at him.  “Can you…can you come up here?”

He did as he was told, pushing himself up and wrapping his arms around her body.  He kissed her back and dragged his lips along her skin to her shoulder and neck.  “What is it, minskatt?” he asked.

“What if I wanted to try more?”

If it was possible, William felt even hotter.  The sound of her voice saying those words was…indescribable.  “What do you mean?”

“You just make me feel so good.  I’ve never had anybody make me feel this way.  I feel so comfortable with you,” she said.  “You…I feel safe to try things with you.  Things I couldn’t try with other guys.”

He knew what she was getting at.  He placed a tender kiss on her shoulder.  “What do you want to try?” he asked.  She remained silent, wondering if she should have even said anything.  “Don’t be ashamed, minskatt.  What do you want me to do?”

She hesitated.  “D’you…can you pinch my nipples?”

He smiled because it was such a simple request.  He brought his hands up and cupped her breasts, pinching her nipples between his thumb and index fingers.  He felt her sharp intake of breath and her head leaned back into his shoulder.  He could tell by her reaction that she wanted more.  “What else?” he asked, biting down on her skin near her shoulder.  “What are you not telling me?”

“That,” she stressed.  He didn’t know what she meant.  “The bite.  You—You can fuck me, Willy.  I want you to fuck me.  You can be rougher with me.  I think I’ll like it.”

When William heard those words and how she emphasized them, he wanted to make sure.  Needed to make sure.  The first time they had sex it was a good old-fashioned hookup.  The second time they had sex they’d made love.  In subsequent times since, it was mostly making love, if only because they had waited so long to finally be together and that was what they wanted to “release” – love.  But now, with those words being said, he knew Aberdeen was ready to take the next step.  She was willing to go further.  She trusted him to go further with her, and only wanted to do it with him.  “Yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded.  “I trust you.  Fuck me, Willy.”

He pinched her nipples again, harder this time, and she gasped.  He started to move his hips too, moving inside of her, and she began to moan again.  Without warning, he fell back down on the bed, bringing her with him so her back was flush against his chest, though her knees were still bent and he was still in her.  This was definitely a new position for her, judging by her reaction – a quick “oh fuck” escaping her lips.  He heard her breathing get heavier as she felt one of his hands snake down from her breasts and on to her clit.  “Willy…” she moaned out.  

He started pounding into her, using his athletic physique to be able to so with such force in a new angle she’d never felt before.  Her moans fuelled him, and the moans changed to slight whimpers when he started rubbing at her clit.  “Fuck, Willy…” she managed to get out.

But he wasn’t done.  At least he didn’t want to be done.  His other hand, still pinching her nipple, moved up to her neck.  “Willy,” she mewled, bringing her own hand up and placing it over his.

“Is that okay?” he whispered into her ear.  He wasn’t applying any pressure – it was just sort of there – but that was apparently enough for her.  He wouldn’t have felt comfortable going further, anyway, at least without her verbalizing something.

“Yes Willy, fuck,” she arched her back.  “Fuck me.  Fuck me harder.”

He increased his pace.  Her cries let him know that even with those simple actions, she was feeling pleasure.  She was liking it.  She was getting what she wanted from him.  That was the only thing he wanted.  “I want you to cum all over my cock, Aberdeen,” he growled into her ear.  She didn’t answer, but when she arched her back again, he felt her walls tighten around his cock and he knew she was done.  He let himself find his release too, groaning in pleasure as her body writhed on top of his.  He didn’t stop rubbing her clit until her hand went over his to stop him.  Her body went still as he slipped out of her and she fell to his side, trying to regain her breath.  

After a couple of minutes, she curled around to face him.  “I know that was probably really tame but it was new for me.”

William shook his head.  He didn’t want her to feel nervous about anything.  “Baby steps,” he kissed her.  

“No guy has ever, like…asked what I like in the bedroom,” she admitted.  “So I couldn’t explore things.  Well I didn’t feel comfortable exploring things.  But I know I can with you.”

William nodded his head.  “Don’t worry, minskatt.  We can start slow.  No need to rush.  You can tell me what you like and where you’re willing to go.”

“You too.”

“Hmm?”

“You tell me what you like and where you’re willing to go, and I’ll go there with you too.”

He nodded his head, smiling.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.  More than anything.”

[3416]

Maple Leafs player survey, Part 2: Best trash talker, healthiest, best seat mate

By Joshua Kloke | Feb 7, 2023 | The Athletic

Maple Leafs fans, it’s the All-Star break and there’s a lull in the schedule for a while here, so let’s take a step back and reflect: Even after Wednesday’s loss to the Bruins, the Leafs still have a .673 win percentage after 52 games, good for fifth-best in the NHL and are once again in contention for home-ice advantage in the first round of the playoffs.

In short, for now, life is good, right?

With that sense of big-picture positivity in mind and no games to wring your hands over until late next week, The Athletic wanted to keep things light. We posed six fun questions to the Leafs over the last few months in the hopes of providing fans with a look inside the characters and relationships that make up this team.

Part 1 looked at the team’s desert island movies, the cleanest and messiest Leafs and which player is likely to become a head coach.

Part 2 gets the team talking about who their favourite person is to sit beside on a flight, the healthiest and least healthy players and the team’s best trash talker.

–––

Who is your favourite person to sit beside on team flights?

Up and down the team’s charter, there are some unsuspecting groups and duos paired together. Perhaps contrary to what one might expect, linemates and close friends don’t often sit beside each other.

Instead, team flights are an opportunity for players to mingle. John Tavares sits on his own but will keep the seat beside him open if any young players get called up to the Leafs.

Matt Murray voted for Justin Holl.

“We exchange books sometimes, I’ll ask him what he’s reading, what’s good,” Murray said. “He likes a lot of history books. He was reading one about the Vietnam War recently. We just bounce ideas back and forth.”

When Holl isn’t discussing, say, the Gulf of Tonkin incident, he’s taking part in one of the louder activities on the team flights: A heated, ongoing game of Mario Party with Auston Matthews, Zach Aston-Reese and Michael Bunting.

Holl is something of a ringleader of a crew that plays a variety of simple games on their Nintendo Switches.

“New games keep coming out, so I like to learn the games first and then introduce them to the rest of the team so I’m better at it. It makes me feel good about myself,” deadpanned Holl.

“I’m by far better at (Mario Party),” Bunting countered, “but Holl is my number one enemy. It’s mostly luck. It’s like a board game, you’ve got to get the bounces.”

As entertaining as that crew undoubtedly is, we need to discuss a player who otherwise flies spectacularly low under the radar day-to-day but seems to be at the epicentre of the team flight: T.J. Brodie.

Mark Giordano is more into watching movies on flights and keeping things low-key, so he voted for his long-time Flames teammate, Brodie.

“He’s quiet, and doesn’t bother you much,” Giordano said.

Wayne Simmonds also enjoys sitting beside Brodie, but has intel to share.

“Brodie is not quiet on the plane,” Simmonds said, defiantly.

Oh?

“He’s funny. He’s a conspiracy theorist, and he’s got a whole lot going on in his brain,” Simmonds said with a smile.

So what’s the best conspiracy theory Brodie has laid on his travel buddy?

“Michael Jordan is an alien,” Simmonds said, with a hearty laugh.

And yet it’s not just conspiracy theories that Brodie apparently loves sharing.

Alex Kerfoot also voted for Brodie, for a completely different reason.

“We do play cards on the plane, and there’s eight people playing cards and six of the people are just sitting back in their seat, relaxing, and (Brodie) is the best helper. We’ve got to hand out the chips, hand out the cards, clean stuff up, and (Brodie) has all the stuff on his side of the table. He’s dialled in. He’s got the cards set up, cards are shuffled, everything is in order. When we have to clean up, he cleans up right away. (Morgan) Rielly and (Mitch) Marner, they’re on the other side doing their thing,” Kerfoot said.

I had to get to the bottom of this, so I asked Brodie himself who he enjoys sitting beside on flights. And when I did, and he provided the most logical answer I heard, I was left wondering if we’ve only scratched the surface of T.J. Brodie, Maple Leaf Enigma.

“Willy,” Brodie said. “Because he sleeps pretty much every flight, the whole flight, so you don’t have to worry about him getting up to go to the bathroom.”

“You were a popular pick because you’re quiet,” I told him.

“Sometimes I play poker,” Brodie said, before pausing, “…if they need me.”

Brodie’s answer does track.

Like, hey, Calle Jarnkrok, what’s it like sitting beside one of the most interesting people on this Leafs team, a player in the middle of the best season of his NHL career no less?

“(William Nylander) sleeps all the time, so it’s perfect,” Jarnkrok said. “He’s always tired. It’s good to be next to him.”

The Swede crew is a real thing. Two friends that do stick close together on a team flight are Rasmus Sandin and Timothy Liljegren.

“I’ve been sitting next to (Sandin) for two years,” Liljegren said. “He’s low maintenance.”

Let’s give some love to lone wolves, too: Who wouldn’t need a break from a group of people you see, like, all the time otherwise?

“I like sitting alone,” David Kampf said, a little too seriously. “Sometimes I play cards with the boys. But I watch movies.”

“I like just zoning out, putting on my headphones and listening to some music,” added Conor Timmins, who, if he had to pick, would probably listen to country singer Morgan Wallen.

–––

Who is the healthiest and least healthy?

This was essentially a question designed to get professional athletes to rat on each other.

“They keep us so dialled in here with food and supplements,” Murray said, before naming Giordano and Tavares as the two healthiest teammates.

Sure enough, Tavares got plenty of votes, with teammates claiming he has his own specific diet he adheres to.

“Johnny brings his own stuff on the road,” Brodie said. “He was bringing his own olive oil.”

Jarnkrok insists Tavares brings his own brand of water on the road.

“I see it all the time,” Jarnkrok said.

A lot of this is in line with the John Tavares the one and only Jonas Siegel wrote about ahead of his 1,000th game. Tavares is a foodie who most notably cooks his own pizzas.

And those of you who have been following along closely at home know about my own obsession for cooking pizza. So, this was the shortest of putts: I had to ask Tavares about cooking pizza.

The Leafs captain has a wood-burning oven at his cottage. His toppings of choice? Bell peppers, red onion and, if it’s handy, some wild game such as ground venison. Most of his pizzas are finished with fresh basil, arugula and a balsamic vinegar glaze. Notably, Tavares keeps to his healthy habits by using organic and fermented flour from Brodflour, a Toronto-based urban mill.

“We try to keep everything really clean, really fresh,” Tavares said of the dough. “You really notice a difference.”

The next step in Tavares’ pizza-making will see him and his family try to grow more of their own vegetables at home and get their two young children involved in the process.

“My kids love doing it when we make (pizza),” Tavares said.

Kampf, long known for his almost fanatical workouts, received votes.

“He’s a machine,” Bunting said of Kampf.

“For me, it’s not hard to avoid fast food. It’s my lifestyle,” Kampf said. “I like to be healthy and live a long life, right? It’s not about sport. I just want to be a healthy person.”

So what, for example, would Kampf cook on a night like that one?

“Me and my wife, we eat simple food,” Kampf said. “Rice, ground beef, cheese on top with some pomegranate. That would be our favourite thing to eat. And a salad, and a smoothie with some greens.”

Now, at the other end of the spectrum, Kampf wasn’t shy with his vote.

“Oh…a lot of guys,” Kampf said when asked which of his teammate was the least healthy.

When pressed, Kampf made the same choice as every other Leaf I asked.

“Mitchy,” Kampf said. “He eats a lot of fast food.”

“Mitchy talks about burgers a lot,” Jarnkrok confirmed.

“Wendys, McDonalds, he does it all,” Simmonds said.

All of this feels like ganging up on Marner, though, and I’m going to stick up for him here. In November 2021, Marner told Siegel he’s eating burgers less and less often.

“I’m just trying to get a lot better meals in me,” said Marner then, “trying to get a lot more greens and vegetables in me, which before I never really cared to eat. Now, I realize that’s essential to get in me. I think I’ve just been a lot better, acting like a grownup now.”

Perhaps what we should be doing is applauding Marner for his superhuman metabolism?

“Mitch can eat whatever he wants,” Giordano said, “and he finds a way to make himself go.”

–––

Who is the best trash talker?

There were only four Leafs whose names were brought up in this category, and most of them shouldn’t be surprising.

First, the (slight) winner.

“We only have one (trash talker): Big Mike,” Jarnkrok said, referring to Bunting. “But he only talks trash with the other team.”

“He’s the one you hear the most,” Liljegren agreed.

Yet we might need to place an asterisk beside this award, though.

“Mikey likes to talk the most, but I don’t know if he’s very good at it,” Brodie said.

“I would never vote for myself,” Bunting said. “(Giordano) has got some funny ones. But he probably chirps his teammates more than he chirps other teams.”

Giordano’s trash-talking drew some appreciation from teammates, sure, but he probably still places fourth here.

The silver medal mostly likely goes to Marner.

“Mitch is pretty witty when it comes to chirping,” Giordano said.

“Always a lot of talking on the ice,” Ilya Samsonov said. “Always.”

What Marner says seems to land.

“Mitchy is pretty good,” Simmonds said. “But he just doesn’t shut up. It’s more annoying. It gets ya. And he goes deep, really quickly. He’s ruthless. When he thinks something, he says it.”

Finally, the bronze medal goes to Simmonds, the player who’s probably been throwing verbal barbs the longest.

“He’s fast with his mouth, and he’s a tough guy,” Pierre Engvall said. “So he can back it up.”

[willykappymarnsmatts]

Angels Like You (Can't Fly Down Here With Me)(Chapter 3)(A. Matthews/M. Marner)

Mitch has only been awake for .2 second when the banging on his front door starts. He jumps up from the bed, surprisingly not that hungover, and shuffles his feet towards the door in only a pair of sweatpants, not bothering to put on a shirt. When he opens it, he’s met with a bored-looking Auston Matthews leaning against the doorframe in a black t-shirt and jeans, his jacket slung over his shoulder. Mitch’s face falls so slightly that if Auston didn’t know him as well as he does, he wouldn’t have even noticed. But he knows him better than any other person in the world, so of course he notices.

“It’s just you,” Mitch mumbles before turning back into his apartment, leaving the door open behind him so Auston can come in.

“Just me?” Auston asks towards Mitch’s back, unsure if he should be offended or not, as he shuts the door and locks it before following Mitch into the apartment. This isn’t new for them, for one of them to show up at the other’s place unannounced, so Auston’s a little unsure of why Mitch seems so disappointed to see him. His heart starts pounding when he realizes what the reason could be, with him possibly making their entire relationship super awkward by the way he was basically eye-fucking Mitch the other night.

“I thought maybe… it was her.”

Auston’s breathing returns to normal, but it still hurts to hear that he wasn’t the first person Mitch would have wanted to see, only because Mitch is the first thing Auston thinks about every morning. No surprise, but still. “Oh,” he says, unsure of how he should really respond to him.

“Oh, no, not like that. I have a box of her shit packed and if she doesn’t come by to pick it up by the time we leave tonight, I’m throwing it in the trash. I’m just already tired of seeing it sitting there.”

Auston can’t help but perk up at that. He’s not proud of it, but he can’t help it. It’s not even just because he’s in love with him. Mostly it is, but also he just wants Mitch to be happy, no matter what. Seeing how upset he was the other day… he just never wants to see Mitch that messed up ever, especially not as a result of some girl’s actions. “Oh?”

“Yeah, Will talked some sense into me last night and I realized I was never actually in love with her. I thought it was love because that’s what she told me it was, and I didn’t want to believe otherwise because I thought I was lucky.” Mitch turns around so he’s facing Auston in his small living room and gives a small, half-hearted smile. “Turns out I’m just an idiot.”

Auston’s heart actually breaks at that, like completely shatters. His chest actually might collapse at the idea of someone breaking Mitch into pieces so small that he thinks it’s his fault he’s hurting. That he thinks he’s an idiot. “Oh, Mitchy, you are not an idiot.” Mitch opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out. Auston takes a step closer to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. It’s such an overly-friendly gesture he might throw up, but he won’t be able to focus if he does anything more. “You care so much about other people, often more than they deserve. You trust so easily, and you always see the best in people, and that’s something I love about you.” Mitch cocks his head to the side, his eyes flicking back and forth over Auston’s. Auston takes a breathe and clears his throat, willing himself not to break down right here an now because fuck, that would make things complicated. “Anyone would be lucky to have you as their boyfriend, trust me. She’s the one that’s losing something incredible, and she doesn’t even know it.”

Mitch stares at him for a second, then launches himself at Auston, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. Auston wraps his arms around Mitch’s waist so he’s entirely surrounded by Auston’s body. He will never get over how small he is, how perfectly they fit together. In the moment, it seems insane that they would ever spend a second apart. Neither of them moves for a long time, but never does it become awkward. Auston thinks his heart might actually explode, feeling complete only when he’s in Mitch’s space. “You’re the best, Aus.” Mitch whispers as he pulls away from him, keeping his hands on his shoulders. Auston just smiles, afraid that if he tries to speak, he would voice everything he feels. He immediately misses the warmth of Mitch’s body against his own, but swallows and runs his hand through his hair instead of pulling back into his arms. “So, wanna cook for me?” Mitch asks, dropping his arms and cracking a grin that only just meets his eyes, as if the air between them wasn’t thick with tension less than thirty seconds ago.

Auston groans, feeling his heart begin to relax as they fall into easy routine, and Mitch just continues to smile. “Pleaseee,” he drawls, leaning so close to Auston he feels his breath on his lips. Auston grabs his hand and leads him to the kitchen, rolling his eyes to keep himself from kissing him. It would be so easy, but wrong.

“I cannot believe you. I come over here as a good friend to check on you, and you make me cook for you,” he grumbles, trying to keep the smile from his face.

“You love me, dumbass.”

“I really do,” Auston whispers, his back still to Mitch, so quiet he assumes Mitch doesn’t hear.

“What’d you say?”

“I said fuck you,” Auston chirps.

Mitch jumps up onto the countertop and pulls Auston between his legs by the collar of his shirt. He leans into him and whispers against his ear “I’d love to.”

Auston’s breath catches and he shuts his eyes tight to gain composure, keeping his cheek against Mitch’s until he knows he won’t pass out when he steps away. He steps away and clears his throat, then looks up and Mitch and forces a laugh. “Eggs?” He asks, and Mitch nods as if he wasn’t just attempting to seduce him. He does that with everyone, Auston tells himself. It’s completely platonic.

They’re best friends.

While he’s going through the fridge, pulling things out to make omelettes, Mitch scrolls through his phone.

Mitch abandons his phone on the counter after a short two minutes and watches Auston move around his kitchen like it’s his own. Once Auston’s cracked the eggs into the pan and is beginning to throw cheese in, Mitch takes a breath and opens his mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“Hm?” Auston responds, his focus still on the stove, unsure of where Mitch is going to go with this.

“I kinda sucked the past year, and I’m just… I’m sorry.”

“What?” Auston asks breathlessly, glancing up at him. “I thought we just talked about this.”

“I never apologized, though.”

“Well, you don’t have to. I told you I understand.”

“No, Auston, please let me just… let me just.” Mitch looks almost defeated, so Auston leans his hip against the counter and nods, looking back and forth between him and the stove.

“Okay, Mitchy, tell me.” Mitch is silent then, picking at the skin on his thumb, when he suddenly looks up at meets Auston with the most intense gaze he’s given him all morning.

“I’ve been horrible to you, and I really want to say sorry. I care about you a lot, you’re my favourite person and my best friend, and I kinda took you for granted a lot. You had every chance to replace me, and you didn’t. You still call me your best friend and I really don’t deserve you and just… I’m sorry. And also thank you for not throwing our friendship away.”

It’s Auston’s turn to be silent, thinking about how to phrase exactly what he wants to say. He flips the omelette in the pan so he can leave it alone for a bit, then walks over to where Mitch is sitting on the countertop and pushes himself into the space between his legs, so they’re standing the same way as before. He feels like his chest is gonna burst with the proximity of him and Mitch and their lips and it’s all just a lot, but he can’t move away now. Plus, he loves nothing more than being in Mitch’s space. It makes him feel more confident, more comfortable.

Safe.

“I would never throw our friendship away. You are literally the best person I know, and you love so much and so hard that I know I won’t always be your favourite person. I’ve accepted it as a fact, Mitchy, and it’s okay. But you will always, always, be mine.” Auston wraps his arms around Mitch’s waist and pulls himself towards his body, so Mitch is forced to throw his arms over Auston’s shoulders. He buries his face in the crook of Auston’s shoulder and sighs.

“You’re wrong though. I love you the most. Always.”

Auston could die. He could actually just fucking melt into a puddle and remain there for the rest of time. He can’t breathe, and then Mitch is pulling back to look at him, and he realizes there’s tears running down his face. “Matty,” Mitch giggles slightly, so soft and affectionate, and wipes them away. He just looks at him then, smiling, and it feels as if there’s nothing more important in the world then the two of them right there and then.

Except for the burning omelette in the pan.

“Um, Matts…” Mitch nods behind him and Auston whips around and grabs a plate to empty the pan onto, much to the amusement of Mitch, still comfortably seated on the counter. He grabs a towel to wave at the smoke alarm to keep it from going off, repeating swear after swear under his breath. Mitch is doubled over on the counter, laughing his head off, and the sight of him happy makes all of it okay.

His own heart is breaking, but Mitch is smiling. Mitch is happy. That’s literally all the matters.

[leafs-lover]

Maybe something like a first tattoo or piercing? With Mitch maybe? Or Auston.

A/N: This was requested as part of my 500 follower celebration. Sorry it has taken me so long to start getting these out, but be on the lookout for more of these requests in the coming days/ weeks.

This is another installment of the Auston Matthews X Friend Series, providing a little more insight into their friendship.

TW: It's basically pure fluff, but there is mentions of needles and tattoo's (obviously) and mentions of drinking and sex (no actual smut)

What are you doing tomorrow?

It was such a simple and easy question, something you had asked Auston hundreds of times throughout your more than a decade long friendship. He could practically smell the alcohol through the speaker as he told you he was going to the gym in the morning, which, given the fact it was almost 3am and you were just crawling into bed, you were thankful for. You barely remember the phone call or making lunch plans together and would have thought it was a dream if not for the 10am Postmates delivery of coffee and a breakfast sandwich he sent to your house.

He fully thought by the time you sobered up your mind would have changed, and you’d be hungover and in a cuddly mood. That’s why after the gym he went home and showered, then changed into a pair of trackpants and simple grey t-shirt along with a pair of slides, the perfect ensemble to lounge on the couch and tease you for the drunk and incoherent rambling you put him through the night before.

But to his surprise you opened the door, ready to take on the day. A bright red scoop neck t-shirt and your favourite denim shorts - the ones you got in high school that are likely a little too short from your senior year growth spurt; but they look amazing, and you haven’t managed to part with them. Your hair was simply styled, and your makeup appeared effortless, a slight glow to the cheekbones the only evidence you were wearing any.

“Oh, hi,” he stammered out awkwardly, taking you in. “You’re ready?”

“Yes,” your face scrunched up and you let out an airy laugh. “We have plans, so I got ready.” You playfully glanced up and down him then quirked your eyebrow.

“I just thought you’d be hungover,” he grinned, accepting that you looked infinitely better than he did. “Let’s go.”

Auston led you to the car, and even opened the door for you. Putting it in drive, you picked up his phone, put in the pin – something you long ago learned – and started scrolling through his Spotify. You went to a café for lunch, and even managed to convince him to eat the brownie you ordered, something he reluctantly indulges in even in the off-season. He of course pulled out his wallet and paid, even though you objected. You said that since you invited him, you should pay, and he just shook his head and grinned because it still baffles him that you try after all this time.

“Alright, you ready?” you clapped your hands and rubbed them together.

“For what?” the engine turned over and air conditioning began to pump through the vents.

“My tattoo?” Quirking an eyebrow, you glanced over the center console at him. “We talked about it last night.”

“I know, I just didn’t think you were serious.”

“Why wouldn’t I have been serious?” your arms crossed over your chest.

You aren’t actually offended by his statement or even the tone in which it was delivered. About a month ago he went to get a tattoo and mentioned it would take six hours, being the good friend that you are (and the fact that you hadn’t seen him in almost two months because of school) you offered to go with him and keep him company. As soon as the needle started your entire face contorted and for the first two hours you could barely watch what was happening.

“You were incredibly drunk,” he smirked back, but there is something about the way he looked at you that indicates there is more he wants to say. “You also talked about the sex you had with Mike, and his uncircumcised dick.” Heat flooded your cheeks and eyes went wide enough to be seen under the tinted lenses of your sunglasses. You and Auston have always had a fairly open friendship, talking about almost anything and everything, but those intimate details were typically kept for Sarah and Kayla. “So, you’re not a fan of hoods?” he grinned through the words.

“Auston!” you tried to scold, but it was no use, he was toying with you and best not feed into it. “Oh my god, you need to stop right now,” an uncomfortable laugh is all that can be managed as the entire slurred conversation from last night came rushing back.

“You didn’t last night,” knowing you for this long means he isn’t going to let you off that easy. “And apparently Mike didn’t either,” he smirked deviously. “I believe the term energizer bunny was used.”

Pulling your bottom lips between your teeth, you let out a shaky exhale, whishing you were anywhere but there. As much as Auston loves to tease you, he also knows that he has two options:  One – Incessantly tease you until you can’t take anymore, and you bring up some blunder or indiscretion he has done and threaten to tell everyone in your friend group if he brings it up again. Two – leave it there, and one day maybe a week, a month or a year from now, bring it up again, pestering you just enough to get under your skin. The second option is always his favourite.

“I’m just messing with you,” his face softened, and he shot you a warm smile. “But you actually want to get a tattoo?”

“Yeah,” you spoke quietly.

“Where?”

“Uh…here” your hand trembled slightly as you brought it up to your shoulder blade.

“No,” he chuckled. “Where am I driving?”

“Oh,” you shook your head attempting to free yourself of the embarrassment and unlocked your phone. Tpying in the name you showed him the screen with the address

Auston winked at you one last time, then he set out on the short trek through the streets of Scottsdale. You didn’t want to talk to him anymore, responding merely with one-word answers. He didn’t take the hint. He kept talking, joking, doing anything to stop you from stewing in your own embarrassment and eventually you gave in (because you always do) and fell back into an easy conversation with him. He asked about the tattoo, and you told him how you booked it a week ago, but it wasn’t until the time drew closer that you realized you needed someone with you. You told him about the design you picked, and the meaning it held, and he smiled hearing you talk about it with such excitement even through your nerves.

“You ready?” He looked at you and could tell you were anxious.

Standing inside the studio the realization of what’s to come hit you, the potential for pain and discomfort. “Yeah,” you gulped harshly.

“You don’t have –“

“You have to hold my hand the entire time,” your eyes instantly dart to his, white fear blanketing your face.

“Yup,” he quickly nodded in response.

Reaching down you shakily tugged at the hem of your shirt and pulled it off, Auston never let his eyes drift downward. “Have to talk to me, distract me.”

He nodded again. “Obviously.”

“And you’re buying me ice cream after this,” you smirked at him wishfully.

“Of course.” The smile that followed was wide and reached his eyes, reminiscent of the eight-year-old boy who introduced himself at the playground your first day after moving. It’s the kind of smile you have seen countless times throughout the years, the type of smile that instantly grounds you.

Climbing onto the table, Auston set a chair immediately in front of you. The two of you talked with Ashley when she stepped in about the tattoo and the overall look you were going for. When it came time for her to lay the stencil down, Auston pushed a few of your baby hairs that couldn’t reach the ponytail to the side, and softly rubbed his thumb over your neck. When the needle first turned on, you instantly grabbed Auston’s hand and he placed a soft kiss to the back of your palm, whispering that he loved you.

“Some guys don’t even talk to their girl, let alone stay,” Ashley said, first bringing the needle to your back. Wincing momentarily, Ashley eased up on the pressure and you let out the exhale you had been holding onto. “You’re lucky to have such a supportive boyfriend.”

“Oh he’s –“ you trailed off and tears pricked the corner of your eyes when the needle pressed back into your skin.

“Yeah,” Auston shrugged it off so tactfully, unphased by the assumption so many have about your friendship. He continued to look at you, a smile playing on his lips, “she is lucky to have me.”

[goodlucktkachuk]

Frantic -- Matthew Tkachuk (Pt.6)

a/n: hope you guys enjoy. It’s making me sad that this stories coming to an end soon but I’m excited for whats coming. 

Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Four   Part Five

“Yes I already called her, she knows you’re with him...He’s gonna be okay I promise...Text me when you guys find out what happened…Yeah I’m gonna talk to him… I don’t know what’s going to happen...Just keep me updated...Love you too, bye.”

You stood in the family and friends area and waited patiently for Matthew to come out and take you back to his place. This wasn’t how tonight wasn’t supposed to go. It was supossed to be filled with butterflies and cute stolen glances across his kitchen. It was supposed to be flirty and romantic, not heartbreaking and filled with tension. You knew you looked like a mess without even seeing yourself, even though you didn’t cry infront of Emily, the second she left you were a wreck. You brought your hand up to your puffy face and tried to wipe the running mascara off of your cheeks, trying to look semi normal as the boys came out.

Before he made his way to Steph, Mitch walked over and pulled you into a tight hug. On any other day you would’ve been standing with her but she knew that today you just needed to be alone with your thoughts for a bit. You relaxed into his chest and let out the choked sob you were holding tight in your throat. He ran his thumb in circles on your back and told you to breathe.

“Hits happen Y/n, he’s gonna be okay.” he cooed slightly as you pulled away and wiped your tears again.

“I know. Just seeing Emily’s face when it happened broke my heart Mitchy.” You voice shook slightly. He nodded and pulled you in for another hug.

“Are you still sure you wanna stay with Tkachuk for the rest of the week. I can book you a flight to Vancouver right now if you want it.”

“No no it’s fine, Chantal would kill me if she showed up and I’m not there. Thank you though.” You gave him a soft smile and a pat on the arm. He pulled you in for one last hug before he departed to his girlfriend.

After a few minutes of players shooting you half waves and sorry glances, Auston was the next to approach you. As he went in to give you a hug you took a swift step back and grabbed his arm, pulling him towards a less crowded part of the arena. 

Matty got back just in time to see you leave with Auston and decided this wasn’t a situation he wanted you in alone so he followed close behind. You were in such a rage you didn’t even notice. Once you were far enough away that you figured no one could hear you and Matthew was safely hidden behind a corner, you started to lay into Aus.

“What the fuck Auston!” Your voice was dripping with anger.

“What?”  His voice was full of confusion.

“Why can’t you ever leave good enough alone? For weeks now all you’ve done is try to stick your nose into something that has nothing to do with you!”

“Is this about Tkachuk?”

“No shit Auston! Ever since you saw us in Toronto you’ve been a pest!”

“Oh I’m the pest?? I’m pretty sure that’s your boyfriend's job.” Anger filled your entire body and you completely exploded. 

“At least he isn’t the reason one of my best friends was carried off the ice tonight!” Even though it was the wrong time, a smile crossed Matthews face when you didn’t deny he was yours.

“Are you blind Y/N? He laid the hit!” he burst out angrily.

“Because you chirped him! He was going after you and you knew that! You could’ve warned Nick but didn’t.You could’ve taken the hit like you fucking deserved. God this whole time you’ve just been trying to act like you know what’s best but you just keep hurting people!”

“So trying to protect you is hurting you?” His voice lowered, sending a chill up your spin. He moved forward causing you to retreat into the wall till you were stuck between it and his body. 

“Protect me from what Auston?” You bite. 

“From Matthew sweetheart. Y/n you don’t know him the way I do. He gives girls the world to just take it away as soon as he finds someone else. I don’t want you to end up like everyone else.” he took a slight pause then continued. “He can’t satisfy you, Y/n. He’s not enough for you. Everyone can see it but you.”

Matthew became filled with rage as he heard Auston drag his name through the mud. About to blow his cover your voice pulled him out of his rage.

“You didn’t think I already knew that. Taryn and I had a list in her diary to keep track of all the girls Matthew brought home during the summer. Brady and I would make bets on how long till Chantal would catch the next one sneaking out of the bunkie. My mother would lecture Mitch for hours on what would happen if he ever treated Steph that way.”

You placed both your hands on his chest and pushed him away to create some distance but he caught your wrists mid way. He went to speak but you cut him off.

“And who are you to tell me that he’s not enough for me! The last time I checked if I wanted to a date a shithead I would’ve said yes the first four times you asked me out.” Hurt covered his face and he agressivly dropped you from his grasp. 

“You’re such a fucking bitch. Don’t come running when he leaves you.” 

“Trust me, it won’t even cross my mind Matthews.”

He shook his head and mumbled something inchorent as he walked away.

Your heart and Matts both clenched at the same time. He had no intention of ever treating you like the others. He was just a kid when he did all of that stuff. He knew he had something amazing in you and he wouldn’t jeopardize that for the world.

 A light sob escaped your lips as it hit you your friendship with Aus was never going to recover from this, even though he was a pain you still loved him like your brother but this had to be done. Even if Matthew wasn’t involved, Auston had gotten too comfortable acting like the two of you were together and it had to come to an end. 

A few minutes later Matthew finally moved from his spot and turned the corner. Trying his best to act like he hadn’t just listen to what had just taken place.

“There you are princess, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” His voice was soft as he pulled you into a hug. You melted into his touch and for the first time in hours your body relaxed. Even though you were happy to be in his arms and you were mad at Auston, part of you still held anger towards Matthew.

“Can we go home now please?” You muttered quietly.

“Of course, babe.”

He put his hand on the small of your back and you walked out of the arena in silence. He opened your door and helped you into the car before he retreated to the drivers side. Neither of you spoke the whole ride back to his apartment. Mentally you were exhausted and he was exhausted physically so you both were being stretched thin the longer you were awake. As much as he wanted to talk to you he knew that it probably wasn’t the best time and as much as he wanted to crawl into bed and hold you, he knew you wouldn’t sleep.

When you got home he took your bags out of the backseat and you granted him a soft thank you as you both headed inside. When you entered his apartment you were surprised how much it felt like a home. You could tell his mom had helped him decorate but it still had parts of him littered throughout.

Neither of you had spoken yet. You sat on the couch timidly as you watched him slip down the hallway to what you assumed was his bedroom. A few minutes later you watched him return holding one of his sweaters and a pair of his boxers. 

You took them from his hands, offering a nod of appreciation and slipped them on in the guest bathroom. You just stood for a few minutes and drank in your appearance. Black spectled your cheeks, bags hung heavy under your eyes and you looked frail. Pressure was all that filled your body and if you didn’t know better you’d think you’d explode at any minute. You quickly washed your face with some cold water, the cool sensation provided you with a bit of relief.

 When you returned Matthew had changed as well but into an old t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts. Even in his most casual clothes he was still the most handsome man you had ever seen. A soft smile crossed your lips as you drank in the sight of him. His head was in his hands as he sat at the island. His blonde curls ran wild across he’s head, his jaw was clenched and you could see all the viens in his arms. He was a masterpiece. 

This feeling of bliss swiftly faded as you stood across from him and the two of you were slowly drowned by the silence. Matthew was the first to speak but he couldn’t bring himself to look at you.

“I’m sorry Y/N… I didn’t mean to hurt Nick.”

“I know but no matter who it was you still shouldn’t have done it. Not like that.” You sounded distant and stared at your hands.

“Are you being serious right now?” Matthews' voice flared with surprise.

“Yes.” You responded coldly.

“Y/n you know that’s how I play. I’m not gonna sit back and let people walk all over me for the sake of being nice. I’d be letting my team down if I stopped being aggressive!” He was beginning to get heated as he pushed himself up from his stool to look at you.

“There’s a difference between playing aggressively and playing violently Matt! You gotta start realizing your actions have consequences.” His eyes burned into yours as you spoke.

“Rookies need to learn Y/n! Even if the hit wasn’t for him he can learn from it.” He huffed in anger and the anger you felt earlier in the night began to return.

“It doesn’t matter if he needed to learn or not! You could’ve seriously hurt him out there tonight!” The anger in your voice began to bubble.

“He's not your boyfriend Y/n, why do you care so much?” he spat back at you. His voice filled with disgust.

At this point, you couldn’t take anymore and you began to scream at the man in front of you.

“Matthew you didn’t see the look on his face as he was falling! You didn’t have to hold your best friend in your arms as she cried thinking her boyfriend got knocked out in front of her! You weren’t the one who had to call the poor boy's mother and tell her what happened to her son! You didn’t have to cut people out of your life for this shit.”

“Auston didn’t deserve you anyway.”

“Excuse me?” The tone in your voice immedately let Matthew know he fucked up. You mad eyour way around the island and stared up at Matt waiting to see what his next move was.

“Ummm...”

“How did you know I was talking about Auston?”

“Lucky guess?” his voice was dripping with guilt.

“Matthew.” 

“I might have been listening to you guys talking earlier...”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Not only is Auston watching my every move but you are too. Awesome!” You exclamied, throwing your hands up. You turned on your heels and started for his bedroom. 

“Y/n wait!! Can we please finish talking?” Matthew yells from behind you.

“Nope! Not right now! I'm going to bed. You can sleep on the couch. Goodnight!” You sounded so exhausted that it broke Matts heart.

“You can’t make me sleep on the couch in my own apartment!”

“Watch me Tkachuk!” You said as you slammed the door and locked it behind you.

[squidneysidney]

William Nylander - Friendzez

Word Count: 2,409

Requested

Thank you, 

SS

You hit the yellow level 5 button in the elevator, trying to balance the two grocery bags filled with food for the hungry hockey players. William called last night while studying for an exam to tell you few of the guys would be coming over the next day and for you to join. You put up a protest, knowing you’d be pulling an all-nighter to pass this test on Monday. To your dismay, he couldn’t take no for an answer. So here you are with salsa, chips, and drinks requested by Willy earlier this morning.

Walking up to Willy’s door, you knock and wait for someone to open it. No one comes, so you knock again. You are greeted back with yelling from the other side. Rather than knocking again, you put the bags down and search for the key Willy had given you to look after his apartment during long road trips. You open the door to see Auston, Mitch, Travis, and William sitting in the front room watching the latest basketball game.

“Anyone care to get the door once in a while?” You chuckle at the guys. Lugging the bags into the apartment.

“Hey you’re here,” William greets you with a hug and a kiss on the check, “and with the snacks.”

“You did call me earlier to ask me to bring them”, following Willy into the kitchen. “Hey boys, good to see you.”

“Hey!” a chorus of yells returned to greet you. Their eyes never leaving the game.

“Thank you for coming, you know it is never complete without you here,” Willy says pouring the chips into a bag.

“You know I can never say no to you William. Although, I am very sleepy. I was wondering if I could take a nap in your room until the game is over.”

Willy looks up at the tv before answering me, “You weren’t kidding when you said that it was going to be an all-nighter were you? Yeah, that’s fine, the last quarter just started so you’ll have sometime to get a nap in. I’ll wake you up when it’s over. Thank you for the snacks again.”

“No problem. I’ll probably have to study a little bit more tonight too. I’ll be good after I get some shut eye, thank you.” You hug Will from behind as you walk out of the kitchen into the hall way where his bedroom is located.

You fall asleep rather quickly, getting three hours of sleep will do that to a person. Though, you always end up falling asleep quick when it comes to Willy’s bed. There have been many times that you decided to sleep in his bed rather than your own when he is gone on long road trips.

You feel much better after a cat nap, though, you could have definitely have gotten more sleep had the boys not been yelling. It was a regular thing to hear the boys yell when watching a game, no matter the sport. You get up out of the bed and straighten out the blankets before walking out to meet them.

“Dude, come on. Just admit that you like her already. It’s so obvious, you aren’t fooling anyone.” You can here matts talking to one of the boys. Being curious who he was talking to, you slowly walk out of the room.

“Guys, how many times do I have to say this? I don’t like her. We are just friends. I don’t get why you guys think I like her.” William says, running hand through his hair. It was obvious that he was getting frustrated.

“I don’t get why you just won’t admit that you like her. She’s a cool person and you guys get along. She basically lives here with you,” Mitch says, trying to calm the swede down. You still don’t know who they are talking about. Surely Will mustn’t like who they are talking about. He would have told you before the boys would even know.

You are being slightly biased though, secretly harboring a crush on Willy yourself. Ever since meeting him a few years ago, you have been stuck. The blue-eyed blonde has always been at the forefront of your relationship life, hoping one day that he would notice you the way you noticed him. You have always been there for him, after bad games, sickness and nursing him through injury.

“It’s just not like that with Y/N,” Willy responds with a shrug.

Your heart falls into your stomach, confirming what you have always known to be true. It hurts a lot more hearing it come from his mouth instead of you telling yourself. There was always hope when it came to Will but now you know the solid truth. William doesn’t like you. Not like that.

“Give us one reason why you don’t like her like that then,” This time it is Travis coming in to interrogate the blonde. Your ears perk up at the question.

“I don’t know? For one she’s not my type. She’s, she’s boring. I keep her around to help with my parents constantly asking when I’m going to get into a relationship. I just lie and say that I’m for when she is ready. In reality, I will never see her like that. The only thing she does outside of my friends is go to school. Don’t even get me started on how much she complains about a test or something. She doesn’t have a life. I always feel suffocated with her.” Willy lets everything out on the table, not letting anything hold him back about how he truly feels about you.

“So, you wouldn’t mind me going out with her then?” Matts asks, trying to get a rise out of the blonde.

Will chuckles, “Please do, at least it will get her off my back for once.”

He looks at the boys shaking his head when you come out from behind the wall with tears streaming down your face. The boys seeing you before William can, their eyes going wide.

“How,” You ask trying not to choke on the sob that you are holding in, “How could you talk about me like that? After everything that I have done for you? After all of the phone calls that I get from you! Asking me! No, not even asking, begging me to come over after games! I do have a life William! You are just so smothering that I can’t even live it without you wanting me to be here with you. You are a coward Nylander.” You run out the door before anyone can respond to you. As you run down the hallway to the elevator, you hear your name being called. Clicking the yellow button repeatedly, you look back to see Will closing in on you before the doors slide open. Jumping in, you continually push buttons to get the door to shut.

As the doors shut you realize that all you have is your phone in your pocket, having left your keys and purse in Wills room. Not having a way home, you call the only person that you could think of.

“Hello?” their voice comes through the phone; curiosity being laced through their voice.

“Hey, I’m sorry for calling but I really need a ride and I don’t have anyone else to call.” You say, trying your best to not sound like you have been crying.

“Send me your location and I’ll be right there.” Keys are heard through the line before they hang up.

William wasn’t wrong when he said that you didn’t have a life that didn’t involve him. Most of your time was spent with Will, at Wills game, or studying. You never thought of yourself as boring though, you thought that he wanted you around. At least that’s what it seemed like to you.

Before you know it, Morgan’s car is pulling up in front of the apartment building. As you get in the car it is evident that you have been crying. Mo notices upon first glance.

“Home?” Morgan asks as he pulls away from the building. A nod is all you manage to give in response. “Are you going to tell me what is going on?” he asks after a moment of silence.

“It’s nothing, I am probably over reacting. Nothing for you to worry about Mo,” you look at him with a small smile.

“Cut the crap, that was the weakest smile that I have ever been given.”

“I just over heard Willy talking to the boys about me,” you said with a sigh as you continue, “They were talking about how William doesn’t like me. Not to mention that I am boring and suffocating.”

Morgan’s head snaps in your direction, eyebrows furrowed. “He didn’t say that did he?”

You give Morgan a ‘Would I be making this up look?’.

“You know he doesn’t mean any of that right? The boy must have been pushing his buttons. Will thinks the world of you. He always asks if you can tag along with everything we do.”

“Well apparently not Mo.” You say as he pulls up to your house, “Thank you Mo, I really appreciate it.”

Mo gives you a nod with a sad smile on his face before driving off. You slowly climb up the stairs of your apartment. Reaching your door, you lift the welcome mat revealing the spare key you keep just for emergency.

It has been a few days since you have seen or spoken to any of the boys let alone William. He has been texting and calling non stop since that day. Every so often, you will get a text from one of the boys asking you to hear Will out.

You aced the test that you have been studying for and all you want to do is tell Willy. His voice saying how suffocating you are plays in your head. Knowing that you probably will never be able to have a relationship like that with him again.

A knock at your door pulls you off your couch, opening the door without thinking who it could be. You are met with the blue eyes that you have come to love.

“Um, you forgot this the other night. Thought you might need it,” he says, lifting your bag and keys in hand.

“Thanks” You grab the bag, starting to close the door before a he sticks his arm out preventing you to shut it completely.

“You know that I didn’t mean what I said,” His eyes full of sincerity, “The boys were just annoying me when they kept asking if I had feelings for you. I just said anything that would get them off my back. Nothing that I said was true to how I feel.”

“That doesn’t make it-“

“No, no that doesn’t make it okay but that is the truth. I never would have said that had I known that you were standing right there. The boys just know how to get under my skin sometimes.” Will looks down at his feet, not looking at you.

“At least Auston is honest to everyone about his feelings. We are going out next week after his schedule calms down.”

Williams head snaps up to look you in the eyes, gauging whether or not you were telling the truth.

“You can’t go out with him.”

“And why can’t I? You don’t think that someone as boring as I am can work out with someone like Auston?” You cross your arms, waiting for his response.

William shakes his head, “No, that’s not why you can’t go out with him.”

“So why can’t I?” you counter.

“Because,” You wait for a response. “Because, you are meant to be with me. There is no one that you belong with other then me. Especially not matts, he will never treat you how I would. He will never love you the way that I do. He will never notice how you tap your nose when you are close to finding the answer to a question. He won’t know to buy you coffee at that coffee shop down the street to get you out of bed after you studied all night. Because no one in this damn world will see you how I see you. I’m sorry for what I said, there is not enough words in English or Swedish to explain how sorry I am for what I said. But please for the love of god, do not go out with matts.”

“How do you know that I wouldn’t know how to treat her?” Auston says, coming into view behind you.

Willy is shocked looking between the two of you with his mouth open. “What? Matts, what are you doing here?”

“Asking y/n out obviously. You said that I could so I came over to see how she felt.” Auston throws an arm around my shoulder.

“Stop it,” you push his arm off your shoulder laughing, “you are going to break him.”

“Alright, sorry. I couldn’t pass up on the opportunity.” Auston shrugs walking out of your apartment, chuckling to himself. “Willy, I’ll see you at practice.”

“No, you don’t” William grabs the back of Auston’s shirt pulling him back in front of him.

“Willy! Let him go, he was just joking. We aren’t going out. Auston came by to explain what happened. Now calm down.”

“So, you two aren’t?” Will looks as confused as ever.

“No man, but it was one way to get you to admit your feelings,” Auston shakes his head, walking away from the two of you.

“Were you really going to fight your own teammate just because you thought we were dating?” You ask in disbelief.

“Yes, yes I was. I was already close to losing you once and it was the worst few days I have ever had. I wasn’t going to risk losing you again. Give me a chance, not as friends, give me a chance to take you out. To prove to you that I can treat you better than any man could.”

“Trust me Willy, I know that you can.” You say with a smile on your face.

“So, you forgive me? You’ll let me take you out?” Wills famous smile evident on his face.

“Yes, I forgive you Willy. I will always forgive you William.”

Willy runs to you, lifting you up. You both giggle, happiest either of you have ever been.