#LETTING THE DAMN SHIP ACTUALLY EXPLODE

[maxthesillyy]

aro posting, but who (a lot of people) even cares if max and chloe r gonna be canonically dating in double exposure or not. your amatonormativity is showing.

[ultraimaginez]

Coping Skills

Sometimes the only cure for big feelings is a big dic-

Ship: Solomon (om!) x GN! Reader

CW⚠️: 18+ MDNI! hair pulling, praise, m!receiving oral, Solomon (he deserves to have his own warning)

Word Count: 1.4k

"Bad day, huh?"

The book that was in Solomon's hands moments ago is now somewhere across the room - thrown without so much as a second thought to where it might land amongst the chaos of his study. He looks up at you, bemused. "You know, there are a lot of cursed objects in here. If you're not more careful, you might hit something dangerous."

The only dangerous thing that you're concerned about in this moment is your temper. To your credit, you have been working on controlling it. You've actually made quite a lot of progress since you found yourself in the Devildom for the first time years ago; but there are still days you cannot fight the acidic lump of emotions that sits heavy in the back of your throat. Today, you feel like a time bomb ready to explode.

Luckily, Solomon is pretty good at grounding you in his own special way.

Now that his hands are free, you are able to straddle him. You tuck your knees on either side of his hips in the large armchair where he spends most of his evenings studying. Your eyes lock onto his stormy gray ones. After a few years of knowing one another, and now several months of living together in Cocytus Hall, the two of you have gotten good at communicating non-verbally. But that's never stopped Solomon from running his damn mouth.

"Want to talk about it?" He asks, signature smirk pulling at the corners of his lips as his hands immediately find your ass and squeeze. He knows that you will share when you're ready, but he also knows that talking is the last thing you want when you feel like this.

Wordlessly, you claim his mouth in a searing kiss that's fueled with an anxious, desperate energy you want out of your body as soon as possible. Your hands are in his silvery hair, trying to pull him closer. The kisses are too much teeth, too much nipping, but you can't stop the urge to try and crawl under his skin to escape your own. No matter how close you get, it doesn't feel like enough. Solomon's little close lipped smile is only making you more frustrated.

Long fingers tangle at the base of your scalp sharply tug at your hair. You let out a noise that you might find embarrassing under any other circumstance, but the dull pain grounds you back in the moment. There is a sense of relief in his firmness. The two of you pant hard trying to catch your breath. Your lips are so close, you know he can feel every heave you make for air. You wait a beat before moving to grab at Solomon again, but his hand tugs at your hair a second time and keeps you still.

Solomon's pale skin flushes a pretty shade of pink and his Adam apple bob against his skin in a way that makes you want to put your feverish lips along his neck. His tongue darts out to taste his lips without ever looking away from you once. He's clearly thinking - studying you closely as he gently moves your head side to side. His free hand comes up to wipe away the frustrated tears that have started to form at the corner of your eyes. He gently tuts and shakes his head. "My poor apprentice. I should be taking better care of you, hm?"

The strange thing about Solomon is that although he tries to sound sarcastic - voice overly saccharine in its mocking lilt- you can tell that he means it. He does feel responsible for taking care of you. It's his job. And say what you will about Solomon, but be takes his responsibility to you seriously.

Effortlessly, Solomon lifts you off his body and eases you to the floor between his knees. You speak for the first time all evening, unable to stop the urge to be bratty. "For an old man, you're pretty strong." He laughs and shifts so that he can spread his legs wider, accommodating your new position. "Always so mouthy, MC" He cups your jaw and runs a thumb along your bottom lip, smiling when you kiss his finger gently. "I can think of a better use for these pretty lips."

A thrill runs down your spine as Solomon reaches down to unbuckle his belt. The two of you maintain heated eye contact as he pulls down his dark jeans and sets his aching cock free. Your gaze is pulled lower, now mesmerized by the way his hard length is leaking against his lower abs, flushed an even darker shade than his cheeks and looking beautiful in the low light of the study. You can feel Solomon's eyes on you like a hawk as you move forward to wrap one fist around his base. He throws his head back and lets out a pleased hiss. "Mmm that's good. Show me how talented you are, sweet." His fingers find their way back into your hair, this time gentle when they twine between the strands.

Solomon has given you exactly what you need: an objective. The emotions of the day fade to a dull hum at the back of your mind as a new focus takes their place. To take apart "the witty sorcerer" with your mouth and hands until he cannot think straight.

Looking up at Solomon with big innocent eyes you place a sweet kiss to the head of his cock and bat your lashes. "Like this?" His fingers tighten at your scalp and you let out a pleased gasp at the tug. "Tsk, Tsk. Don't be a tease, MC." He chides before loosening his grip a bit so that you can move again. You smile up at him before wrapping your mouth around him properly. You tongue at his slit before teasing the sensitive spot on the underside of his dick you've learned makes him see stars as you gently bob your head. His eyes screw up immediately as he let's out a groan that goes straight to your ego.

Solomon has been with plenty of partners over the centuries. (With the exception of Asmo, he may have the highest body count of the millennium.) But he can't remember a single one of their names or faces anymore. Not when you're the only person who has ever made him feel this good. He briefly wonders if you can feel it to - the way your magic touches his when you have him this vulnerable and raw. It's never intentional but it happens every time you have your mouth on him and it feels like an electrical storm in his bones.

"So beautiful. So perfect. Can't believe I waited three hundred years for you. It's worth it. Worth the wait. Worth everything for that sweet fucking mouth." He's babbling incoherently as you take more and more of his length - reveling in the punched out little noises he makes every time you swallow around him.

It doesn't take long before Solomon is beginning to unravel. "MC..." your name comes out of his mouth breathless, so he tries again - this time fist tightening in your hair. "MC, I'm so close. Where do you want me?" He asks, giving you an opportunity to pull away and let him cum across your face or chest. Instead you hum contentedly around him, fingers digging into his thighs as you continue to pursue your objective with single minded focus - taking as much of him as you can.

"Fuck. I really can't tell if you're a demon or an angel or a human. You're so perfect and so fucking dirty. God you're incredible." The last word comes out like it's been forced out of his lungs as he finds his release. He chases the high, trying unsuccessfully to keep his hips still as you continue to swallow around him. Your hands on his thighs manage to keep him mostly still as you do your best to take everything he gives you.

When you're finished you look up at Solomon through half lidded eyes, slowly blinking contentedly. The earlier anger and frustration having been channeled into a much more pleasurable activity, you feel significantly calmer. You expect to find the sorcerer equally blissed out but his gray irises have become small rings around blown out pupils.

Before you can react, Solomon is reversing your position - placing you on the chair and falling to his knees. The world's most irreverent devotional. He places his hands on your knees to push your legs apart and takes his place before you. "MC, I hope you're not tired already. This night is far from over."

[evilminji]

ACTUALLY~☆ (Because I have apparently woken up and chosen violence)

Bigger Trash Ship! Greater Drama?

Ra's X Vlad! Love Story of the millennium! Not one with a good MORAL to it, but it Sure Is A Story!!! And people SURE ARE DYING!

LET THE FENTON PARENTS HAVE THEIR HOT SCIENCE SUMMER! Local Sexy Immortal with Assassins? Causing problems? Attempting to seduce their college friend to a LIFE OF EVIL AND CRIME (sexily) (probably with silks and fine wines) and send DEADLY NINJAS to steal their LIFES WORK! Threaten their kids! Action movie honeymoon take two!!

Wooooo! *the fentons high five as a League base explodes in the background*

Vlad out here trying to get over Maddie. Trying to prove himself he's a Strong Independent Half Ghost That Don't Need No Partner(TM). When? Oh No. OH NO(TM).

He's HOT.

He's got expertly styled hair, a rippling physique, a voice like God damned smoke and bourbon, honey and wine. He SMELLS GOOD. Stop that! Cease! Stop being so... so SUAVE! You CAD! Scoundrel! D:<

But! Ra's is like? "Good looking, immortal, Pit Blessed Being that can assist me in everlasting life? Is WILDLY into me, an excellent manipulator, yet also easy to manipulate? Will be obsessively loyal and loving? I literally see no down sides. Time to go manipulate him into being mine."

Because just ASKING THE DUDE OUT? Inconceivable. No, no. We gotta be weirdos about this. Threats and creepy presents. Kidnapping to fancy dates.

The worst part is Vlad is probably INTO all this and kinda deeply flattered.

Jack is horrified. Maddie says keep hi- I mean, Oh No! Not Vlad! You-! *checks notes* Bastards! Unhand our dear friend at once! *sees ninja* oooh! Look honey! Cannon fodder! Fun!

And where are the kids in all this?

Camp, probably. It's in the Zone. They left before it got weird and came BACK to... honestly? Either Vlad engaged or an immortals booty call. Both are equally traumatizing.

Their parents have ninja lab assistants now.

What? The Actual? Fuck???

@babbling-babull @hdgnj @hypewinter @nerdpoe @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation

[twstfanblog]

Okay okay okay Howd Yuu rob Azul blind? What’d she do

Azul was actually her second choice. She WAS going to rob the royal family of the Coral Sea.

But instead, she met the Merchant of the Deep, The Sea Witch, Azul Ashengrotto. He controls the currents of trading vessels both above and below water. You may have same passage, but normally for a price.

Yuu took a mer potion that lasted a few days to scope out the castle in secret only to meet Azul as he and the tweels were doing their own secret shady dealings. Yuu lies, playing up her act of naive and new in town drifter who just wanted to see the castle. Flirty banter back and forth, and then they part ways.

But during the conversation Yuu manages to get the info that Azul is a merchant, he's much more important to the regions economy than anyone thinks he is, AND he can't hold his wine.

It's a gamble, but Yuu finds out where he stays and taunts a shark into attacking her. Azul hears the commotion and sees the cute woman from a day ago being chased by the local shark. He calls her over and is luckily in a good enough mood to not want his front lawn a blood bath so he lets her in.

Cue Yuu's favored method to rob cute men, seduce them!!! It's lots of sweet talk, Yuu asking so many questions about Azul's hobbies and just genuinely wanting to know about him. Yuu at a point tells Azul that she feels like her life could have been very happy if she had known him earlier.

Azul, now fully swooned by this woman, just asks her if she wants to stay the night. Yuu accepts and they rock the boat so to speak.

Azul wakes up the next day, hungover and has no idea why. The tweels showed up because Azul was hella late to their meeting and they thought he had died. Instead, they find multiple bottles of stolen opened wine under his sleep nook. Azul asks if they've seen a woman and the tweels state he's the only one in the house.

Freaking out, Azul starts checking EVERYTHING until he notices his conch shell necklace, the key to his safe, is GONE.

Yuu fucking cleaned that safe out, it's bare as a bone in there and Azul nearly explodes he's so pissed. But DAMN, she got him GOOD. He needs to fidn that woman for MULTIPLE REASONS NOW.

Azul ends up having to buy back the various treasures over the years, though he never finds the conch again. But then, 12 years later, the tweels tell him that a ship he was counting on delivering goods was sunk by The Sea Witch.

*EDIT*

In the 'Yuu is aware she makes men fall in love with her' version. Azul still doesn't get the conch shell back, BUT the tweels do alert him that a massive treasure chest was delivered to his old hideout (the one that got fucking robbed).

They crack it up and instead of treasure, its two sweet and chubby octo baby girls. Azul freaks out and manages to snatch a note that floats from the open chest that states 'the two babies are theirs and named Charysa and Scylar, pick which is which, take care of them ♡'

Azul is freaking out while his tentacles are already scooping the girls close to protect them.

[osakanone]

UPDATE: The Destiel/Supernats aren't taking this well -- explaining my reasoning for the history I gave, and why Destiel is not the big bitch of shipping that it thinks it is

An update to THIS:

"This is just a marketing thing, Gundam is a giant robot show, only men watch it!"

Gundam's fandom is silent majoratively feminine:

"But its not gay, its about giant robots!"

Gundam is very gay. The entire climax of the first story is a riff of Yukio Mishima lmao

The climax of the Amuro/Char arc of Universal Century Gundam (expounding from first Gundam circa 1979), Char's Counterattack is somewhat on the history of Japanese disillusion with liberalism which notably climaxed with the life and history of Yukio Mishima.

You know. THAT Yukio Mishima.

The one who wrote FORBIDDEN COLOURS.

It was so gay that the fanfiction inspired by it became its own damn anime:

And that's just Charmuro, let alone Charma or a billion other ships just in OG Gundam alone.

We've got This is before we get to Guin Sard Lineford and Yamagi Glimerton (both verrrrry gay), Tieria Erde (a genderqueer trans-coded character who transcends gender entirely in their arc) and a bunch of others.

Gundam was always gay.

"I don't see the numbers"

"That doesn't seem like much, Supernat is at least 2x this"

Sooooo the amount of content you do see isn't representative of how much even got written, given FFN had a huge content purge.

First, let's start with the relative proportion of users: If we're analysing the concept of fandom, we first have to look at who had access to the internet in the first place to publish works.

Yeah that's a pretty sizable difference.

Wing's fandom actually exploded in 2000, but got capped VERY early, distributing itself to fansites when FFN fragmented and collapsed.

Why?

Content purges!

"Isn't there some sort of online archive of this stuff?"

Sure, if you wanna dig through tons and tons of Angelfire and Geocities pages which have mostly disappeared. Otherwise, no! There is no archive of this stuff?

"Why?"

They've since rolled back on this but it means there's a massive amount of lost media out there, including the discussions on it and thus there's an entire history you didn't get to experience.

Its actually very difficult to reach people who've been involved, since it was so long ago that very few people remember, and a sizable proportion of that population have actually died.

"But what about SF fandoms? We have ancient records of stuff like Spirk!"

See unlike physical media like zines, when a server goes offline or there's a data-loss, or something like that there is no surviving copy of the thing in question.

The net result is we have this weird hole where content just vanished, and its now considered lost media. The work of many artists, designers, writers, even videos of events are just lost media because we didn't have the archival mentality adults develop.

You're not gonna hear about all the X-Files stuff or Frasier fanfictions or GW stuff because of these purges and the lack of physical media. FFN users were teens, not adults with resources like US/EU/JP SF fans, who had archival tendencies due to their long history.

So there is this supermassive black-hole in the history of fanfiction running between 1998, and 2008 and some of the only evidence of it are worksafe works and fansites which the owners have long since forgotten about because folks moved on. Moving on is a normal part of fandom.

So to those of you just saying "supernatural is losing to a pair of dumb anime girls" or "urgh this is just a trend tumblr will get over it and go back to supernatural"...

Uhhhhh no they won't, actually?

Supernat's fans mostly seem to be waspy Americans. Gundam is kind of a global phenomenon, one which has traditionally had a silent majority female audience, a vocal minority male audience -- and every time that majority has spoken up, its coincided with a content purge, or a TOS change that mysteriously biases American derived fiction over Japanese derived fiction.

Funny that.

tl;dr:

NATURE IS HEALING

[shayrose5494]

Valentino Must Die

So I have Hazbin Hotel brainrot and hate Valentino with a fiery passion. So I decided to compile a list of who I'd like to see be the one to off him when his time comes and how I think it would go down. This list is essentially from least exciting (but no less satisfying) to most exciting:

6. Husk

Now Husk is so low on this list because let's be honest, he's one of the most predictable ones to do it. It's been established by Vivziepop that apparently his and Angel's relationship will be a slow burn, but it's been hinted HuskerDust is endgame, so it would make sense for Husk to be the one to take Val out.

I imagine that one day, Angel returns to the hotel seriously hurt because of Val. This would be the tipping point for Husk. So he tracks down Val. Now this part could go one of two ways visually:

Scenario 1: We see Husk track down Val, and after a bit of a confrontation (and veiled threat on Husk's end), the screen cuts to black. Cut back to the Hotel, where Angel is finding out Husk went after Val. Angel, despite being in pain, has to go find Husk. But before he can leave, a bloodied Husk returns. He tells Angel he never has to worry about Val hurting him again and that he'll keep him safe. Insert HuskerDust first kiss.

Scenario 2: Husk still tracks down Val, but Angel arrives before the fight really begins. Val tries to hurt (or even kill) Angel. This send Husk into a rage and for the first time we get to see Husk's full demon appearance. The fight ensues and Husk comes out on top. Insert HuskerDust first kiss (I kinda sort ship it lol)

5. Angel

Angel is the one that has the most motivation to kill Val, which is why he's also so low on this list. Like Husk, this is quite predictable.

I imagine something along the lines of Husk's Scenario 2. But instead of Husk going full demon (maybe because he's lost his overlord status he can't go full demon anymore) he still fights as is. Unfortunately, this gives Val the upperhand.

So when it seems Val is going to win this fight, and possibly kill Husk, Angel shoots Val. We know Angel has the guns to do it. But he's always been too afraid of Val to follow through. But seeing Husk, someone he loves, facing Val's wrath, this would be the motivation Angel needs. (We know Angel is protective about those he cares about, like he was with Charlie when she came to the studio). Angel kills Val and HuskerDust kiss. (I'm trying to manifest it into existence ok).

4. Charlie

Now, I don't actually think Charlie would kill Val. However, I'm not gonna rule it out or be mad about it if it happens.

After all, we all saw how she went full demon after Sir Pentious' death. I wouldn't put it past Charlie to go full demon on Val after learning the extent of his abuse towards Angel (she nearly did in the studio). She's already lost one friend, she's not about to loose another. But we all know, that if Charlie got into a fight with Val, there would be no option of sparing him. And not even Angel would be able to talk her out of it this time.

3. Cherri

I feel like Cherri's motivation would be similar to Charlie's. She also lost Sir Pentious and there is no way in hell (pun 10000% intended) she's going to loose Angel to moth boy.

I'd love nothing more than to see her shove one of her bombs down his throat then walk away as he explodes in the background like in an action movie.

2. Niffty

Nothing would bring me more joy than watching Niffty pull an Adam2.0 with Val. And since we know that she enjoys killing bugs, watching her kill the giant pest would be so satisfying.

I imagine that Angel would finally tell Val, he's done, contract be damned. So Val shows up to the hotel. A fight between Val and the gang ensues. Val, like Adam, starts monologuing, until a knife pops through his chest.

Bonus points if Niffty does it because a tiny moth came flying through the lobby, so her thinking it's the same principle as with mother roaches and their children, kills Val to send a message to the moths lol.

Finally, last but never least, and my personal favorite because it's so out of left field:

Alastor

Now, hear me out, this one's a bit strange, but let me explain:

Imagine the Husk/Angel scenario where Husk goes after Val, but Val gets the upper hand. Husk is seriously injured (not killed mind you, just injured). While Alastor doesn't consider Husk a friend, he does own Husk's soul. And if you think anyone but Alastor can hurt Husk and get away with it, you'd be sorely mistaken.

Alastor would rip Val limb from limb (and we love that for Val). Plus this would reinforce the rivalry between Alastor and Vox, especially of Vox and Val are still in their dating phase of their on/off relationship. This could even bump Vox up to a serious antagonist for the hotel.

I know that some of these were a bit far-fetched, but I love twists and turns like that in movies and TV. Going in one direction for so long before taking an unexpected turn. If anyone else has any other ideas let me know. I want to hear all of the fun ways we could kill Val. In the meantime:

Piggy kisses for your troubles.

[imagination-overreaction]

More tf2 ships lets go

Soldier x Demoman / Boots n Bombs

Starting off with a Demoman ship cause this man does not get enough love I think. These two enable each other's stupidity to an incredible degree. They're both geniuses in the art of reckless stupidity, and with their brains and hearts combined they could be making new inventions like "ultra turbo sticky-nade launcherator" and it flings them 8 miles in the air and they die instantly (but they both cheer and think it's awesome once they're revived and they do it again. Medic doesn't care, but he's getting a bit bored of piecing together the same two bodies over and over again). These two would become masters of destruction. I also can imagine them passed out on the couch on top of each other, or Soldier waking up to do drills at 4 am and Demo telling him to fuck off (Soldier can't help it, his love language is explosives and boot camp </3). I like them a lot.

Scout x Sniper / Speeding Bullet

I will admit, I am a bit of a Scout hater when it comes to ships... Actually I'm just a Scout hater in general. However, I do think the dynamic of "annoying little shit" plus "gruff weird guy" works. Scout is the type to press his partner's buttons for the funnies (although he does this with his friends as well) but given how he was in Expiration Date as well as the Cold Day In Hell comic (if I remember right), then he would be genuinely caring and considerate toward his partner's feelings. Scout would push his buttons, but an hour later he'd be splayed out on top of Sniper and rambling about his day. Sniper is more blunt and to-the-point with affection, I think. He'd bother Scout right back, of course, and he'd just as happily sit there and nod along to whatever the hell Scout is talking about. These two would stay up until 5 am together several nights in a row.

Heavy x Pyro / Bear Grill

Since it's such a rare pair, there's some debate on what the ship name actually is. "Russian Wildfire," and "Heavy Fire" are the alternatives I've seen after scouring the tags. I'd like to toss my own suggestion in with "Firing Squad," although that could probably work for other ships too. I personally really like the hc that Pyro is (maybe aro?)ace, and I think that works well with Heavy (I also hc it/they Pyro but any pronouns work for this lil guy tbh). Heavy would support his little maniac's vested interest in fiery homicide just ignore the fact that he says he's scared of them in Meet The Pyro that's not important right now, and I think Pyro would really like watching Heavy use Sasha (the muzzle flash would be really neat in Pyro Vision). Outside of battle, I can imagine Heavy taking care of his guns while Pyro talks to him and tells a (very muffled) story. Heavy would listen to it when it talks about all the wonderful things it sees during their battles, and Heavy would maybe defend it when the other mercs start talking about how terrifying it is... Maybe. They're still very concerning.

Engineer x Heavy

There is no damn posts about this. "Heavy Metal" is a slightly popular one but "More Gun" has been suggested a lot, as well as "Mechanical Literature." I personally like More Gun(s), and I honestly really like this ship, and I feel like it works really well for the same reason that they both work well with Medic--they're both relatively calm and amicable compared to the rest of the team. I feel like Engie and Heavy would be the parents of the team, telling people to go to bed before 3 am and not to explode things in the house (it doesn't work but they can try) (and Engie probably has been the source of one or two fires but not necessarily on purpose). These two would be sickly together. Engie'd be going "good morning Misha 🥰✨" and tap Heavy's shoulder until he leans down far enough to let Engie kiss him on the cheek, and Heavy would give a quiet happy hum as Engie whistles away and they make me sick. I love them so much.

I also think that Engineer would give Heavy some absolutely monstrous artillery as a gift. They absolutely enable each other's horrific acts of bloodshed. More Gun <3

Part 1 - - Part 3

[abarbaricyalp]

If you can combo 5,6, 30 intimacy for Sam and Bucky... Thank you

5: holding hands, kissing the back of it 6: kissing the tip of their nose 30: being protective Not gonna lie, I had difficulty imagining them being in a situation where they'd be kissing each other's hands and noses while also needing to be protective 😅 I know this is probably not what you had in mind, but it would not leave my mind.

All things considered, a cave behind a waterfall was pretty damn romantic. Bucky had found the cave. The dinosaurs they were hiding from, were not his fault. He should get all the points for the romanticism and lose nothing for the dinosaurs.

"Let me see your hand," he said, scooting closer to where Sam was washing his hand off in the waterfall. They should stay away from it. Who knew what kind of vision dinosaurs had. Sure, he'd been obsessed with them as kids, but he was pretty sure dinosaurs were one of those things that books in the 20s had been wrong about.

Sam held out his hand without complaint, which was a small miracle. "I cut it while we were climbing," he explained. He sucked in a sharp breath as Bucky put his thumbs on either side of the gash in his palm. "It's pretty deep."

Bucky nodded in agreement. For the first time in this whole forsaken night, the fact that they weren't in battle gear was actually helpful. He tore off the hem of his shirt and tied it around the middle of Sam's hand. It was not remotely sterile, but he couldn't really do anything about that. This would at least keep him from bleeding so badly and maybe keep dirt from getting in easily.

Sam stared at his hand, cupped gently in both of Bucky's and then let out a short laugh. "Oh my God, we look like a stupid action movie."

Bucky thought they looked like stupid action movies pretty regularly, but he figured Sam meant an action adventure movie. One of those ones with jungles and cargo crates and giant monsters, ancient runes and lost cities. Impossible feats of strength, like jumping over a ratty bridge or climbing up the side of a ship in the middle of a storm or hanging out of the blown out window of a two-seater plane. Probably based on a video game or some other existing IP.

"Those don't usually start in the middle of dinner at a local pasta place," Bucky pointed out. "We didn't even get our second glass of wine."

"It was good wine. Congrats on recognizing that. I'll make you a cultured man in no time." Sam started to pull his hand back, started to make to get to his feet.

Bucky curled his fingers around Sam's, up high, away from the cut. Sam settled back on the rocky ground with a raised eyebrow. "We can't wait around for someone to throw another temporal displacement bomb at us, Buck," he pointed out. "We've gotta figure out a way out of here."

"I know," Bucky accepted, though he kind of didn't think it'd be that easy. Without any reinforcements, without any gear of their own, what the hell were they going to do? Use their cells to call for help? He doubted that even the Kimoyo beads could traverse millions of years. And no one knew where they were, or were expecting them some other place. They wouldn't be missed until something else exploded or they missed the next call-out. It had been a long time since Bucky had felt helpless--he could force his body to extremes unheard of to survive, to protect Sam--but being chased by a dinosaur he couldn't name through forest growth so dense and thick and large the sun didn't reach the ground and then being forced to climb a cliff face so new every rock was rough and unpolished had just about wrung out the hope from him.

"I just..." He hesitated for a second, then brought Sam's hand up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss over the bandage on his palm, then turned Sam's hand over to kiss his scrapped up knuckles. "Just wanna make sure you're okay before we get back to adventuring."

Sam's face softened. He put his other hand to Bucky's cheek, thumb brushing over the crooked prop of it midway down where he'd been hit by a falling rock earlier. "I'm okay, Buck. Eventually, we'll have to add lizards to our list."

"What list?" Bucky asked, shaken from his deepening, pooling panic. Back to the world of a beautiful waterfall and dappled sunlight just for a second.

"Androids, aliens, and wizards."

The force with which Bucky rolled his eyes was enough to skyrocket the blooming headache snaking through his brain. "You can't say wizards and lizards in the same stupid catchphrase."

"Sure I can," Sam scoffed. "We're fighting morons who call themselves the Serpent Society. I think we need to add lizards."

"Just accept that you and I do not fight wizards that often," Bucky insisted.

"We fight wizards plenty."

"When, Sam? When do we ever fight wizards?"

"Loki," Sam said.

"Loki is a god. Apparently. And neither us ever fought him."

Sam reached over then, hands on either side of Bucky's face, and realigned his nose with an audible crack of cartilage snapping back into place.

Bucky had been led to believe by countless sci-fi books and his favorite modern movie that dinosaurs hunted by sound because their eyesight was bad. This was the only reason he did not howl with indignant pain and anger. He smacked his hands up against his own face--which did not make anything feel better--and glared at Sam--the effect of which was lessened by the tears that had naturally sprung to his eyes.

"Asshole," he ground out. "I told you it would set itself. The serum always puts things back where they belong."

"I couldn't stand looking at it anymore," Sam defended. "And it was making your voice sound weird. Move your hands." He batted Bucky's hands away and examined the line of his nose, then the full effect of his face. "Right as rain. Stop being a baby." He leaned forward and kissed either side of Bucky's nose, then the bruised bridge of it, then brushed the tip of his nose against Bucky's in apology.

Fine, that was enough to sate Bucky. He brushed his nose against Sam's again before leaning back against the cave wall. "How are we gonna get out of this one, Sam?" he asked.

Sam adjusted to sit beside him, grimacing as rough rock bit into his shoulders and back. "I don't know. Do you think the temporal imbalance will still be where we came in at? It disrupts the fabric of time and reality, right?"

"I don't think anything at all about this shit. I just call Strange and tune him out when he gets bitchy."

"So, all the time," Sam surmised with a tired, but affectionate, grin.

"Yeah, kind of," Bucky admitted. He dropped his arm around Sam's shoulders and pulled him closer. "Do you know anything about dinosaurs?"

"Not really," Sam admitted himself. "I missed both boys' dinosaur phases."

"Do you think they're, like, diurnal?" Bucky ventured.

"No idea. There had to have been some nocturnal ones, right?"

"Yeah, but probably not the big ones."

Sam's eyebrows rose in thought. "They're all big, but I guess that kind of makes sense. So, what did you have on you for our date night?"

Bucky looked at Sam with a little bit of an abashed look. "Don't make it sound like I wore a tac belt," he muttered. "I just have a few knives. Didn't even have a gun in my jacket. Wherever that is now. I don't think a handful of combat knives are going to help us out here."

Sam had retrieved his own knife and flipped it around in his fingers. Each time the sharp side passed over the pads, it made an low scratching sound. Sam didn't need Bucky to tell him to take care of his shit and clearly he did it well. It still wasn't going to help.

"The only thing we can try is looking for that temporal weakness," Sam decided. "And the longer we wait, the more likely it is to close."

"I'm gonna tell Torres you had no faith in his ability to find us," Bucky threatened emptily.

"I don't think he'd blame me," Sam assured. He stood, then offered his hand down to Bucky to haul him up. "Hopefully we'll be able to tell when something big is coming at us. We didn't recognize the sound last time because we weren't prepared. Now we know what we're up against."

Bucky nodded. "Stay close to me, alright? Vibranium is still stronger than dinosaur teeth."

"Your arm is the size of their toothpicks, Buck," Sam pointed out, but he let Bucky take the lead.

Bucky half expected something to be waiting for them as they came through the water. They had to get into it to get back to the cliff face and all he did was hope there was nothing flesh eating in the water. Large or otherwise.

But there was nothing waiting for them and nothing eating them. A win all around.

The water helped wash away some of the grime and blood though, which was nice. Bucky had no idea if dinosaurs had acute olfactory systems, but he imagined smelling like the landscape and not unknown human should help. Besides, he thought better when he wasn't disgusting.

The climb down was a different kind of difficult from the climb up. Gravity was useful, but neither of them could see what they were doing and Sam kept managing to put his foot down on Bucky's fingers.

"I'm usually flying," Sam pointed out in a hiss while Bucky pulled out some ancient foul language on him. "I don't have to climb."

Impossibly, they managed to get to the ground without dying. The landscape they'd been dropped into was wetter and greener than Bucky had been expecting. There was foliage and trees and the cliffs provided run off that snaked around in thin streams. It had been a mad dash earlier to find shelter, so Bucky hadn't been able to examine their current prison. He wasn't sure what the safest route-of-action would be.

Sam kept looking up at the trees, but he evidently wasn't finding what he was looking for because he kept walking with a grunt.

"I don't think we should risk eating anything yet," Bucky called over to him, jogging a little to catch up. "That should really be a last ditch effort. Like...you should eat me before you eat something you find here."

Sam's nose scrunched in abject disgust. "I'm not eating you. I'm not looking for food," he added. "I'm looking for birds."

"Why?" Bucky asked. "I don't think birds existed back here. They're all, like, pterodactyls."

"Pterodactyls aren't the closest relatives to birds," Sam corrected. "I mean, like, birds are the closest living relative to pterodactyls, but not the other way around."

"Why are you looking for birds?" Bucky redirected. Because he kind of didn't care about living relatives when they were stuck with the old version.

"Because I--" Sam stopped suddenly, just on the other side of an opening in the tree line. "Buck," he warned so quietly Bucky almost couldn't hear him. Bucky pushed away the safety bar arm that had gone out in front of him so he could stand by Sam.

In the clearing, there was a whole entire T-fucking-rex.

There were lots of times Bucky's thinking brain shut down in favor of his fighting brain. Back in the war, he'd always felt like something else took over his body and moved it around like the worlds most skilled marionette. Since breaking Hydra's conditioning, he'd felt the Soldier settle into his skin during difficult fights.

Coming face to face with a real fucking T-rex, huddled like the world's largest chicken over a nest, had about every dissociative disorder filling Bucky's bones and muscle and soul and hollow spots. He put himself in front of Sam immediately, pushing Sam back so that he'd have a head start on the running.

The dinosaur was tense, but hadn't stood. Bucky had a cat. He knew that look. He knew that not standing didn't mean anything for a predator with power. It was watching them intently. Buck felt like he couldn't move.

"Sam, run," he whispered, pushing at Sam's hip again. "I'll distract it. You need to get back to the cliff."

"Shut up," Sam whispered back. "Just...just let me think. Give me a second."

The T-rex crouched. Terror punched through Bucky like a real object. He almost got sick with it. "Sam, please," he begged. "Get out of here."

"Hey," Sam said. Loudly. Bucky jumped and looked at him with wild desperation. "We're not here to hurt you or those eggs," he said. "We didn't mean to walk this way."

The T-rex cocked its huge head. It blinked, the way lizards did, which was uncanny. And then, for some reason, it settled back down.

"What the fuck is happening?" Bucky whispered.

"I'm saving your life," Sam answered. To the T-rex, he added, "Are there others around? We could use some help."

The T-rex bellowed. It wasn't like in Jurassic Park. It was...deeper. Fuller. Not so metal-on-metal reverb screeching. It was still damn terrifying and Bucky yelped a little. "What the fuck, Sam?" he hissed.

"T-rex is one of the closest relatives to birds. I can talk to birds, ergo I can talk to dinosaurs," Sam explained like that made any sense.

"What the hell do you mean you can talk to birds? Did it just call another T-rex over here?"

"Actually, she called the other one to some other spot. She wouldn't want it near her nest. We have to go meet it."

"Like hell," Bucky objected.

"Do you want to make this trek on foot again? How did that turn out for us last time?"

"What do you mean you can talk to birds?" Bucky repeated.

"Thank you very much," Sam said to the dinosaur. "And sorry again." He ducked back into the tree line and pulled Bucky with him. "I'll explain later. Right now I need to focus. It's not the same as with birds. I'm having to think a lot more here."

"Did you drink the water? Are you having hallucinations? Hell, am I?"

Sam pinned an unimpressed look on him. "Let's just get going before she changes her mind," he said blandly.

Not for the first time that afternoon, Bucky wondered what the hell his life was.

[moononmyfloor]

Dashing Youth Ep 11-16 Commentary

Ep 1-10, Ep 17-21, Ep 22-25, Ep 26-32, Ep 33-35, Ep 36-40

Ep 11

More flirting

We meet Xiao Se's nasty Emperor dad in his youth, played by the lovely Fan Jinwei, whose Prince Chong I loved in BoY. Not sure if I'm prepared to hate him this time. He looks good tho!

We also meet Wu Xin' mom, who looks like a fractured wistful early-morning dream which is about to float away and dissappear with the slightest breath, never to be found again.

And Luo Qingyang, (not to be confused with everyone's favorite girl crush Mianmian from The Untamed), the angry repressed big finale martial artist from BoY

Ep 12

I love the super powerful but easily spooked wooden sword wielding Mt. Wangcheng disciple, kid you *really* don't need to try study under Master Li, just because he's "the" shifu doesn't mean he's better. He will teach you nothing and isn't batting an eye at his exam candidates dying right under his eyes. Srsly, Mt. Wangcheng, the Lei family and Changfeng's Medicine Shifu's Valley seem to be the only places suitable to bring up well-adjusted, grounded kids in this universe.

Dual cultivating right in front of future wife's salad

Damn his gaze is somehow piercing but indifferent at the same time

(He's gonna explode and die in the future isn't he) Also see, this is what I mean. Most of the shifus in this universe are no good at teaching and guidance. These kids in their youthful vigor and angst are extremely volatile and you all just let them run rampant. They are easily suspectible to being used by bad forces and eventually create massive tragedies for themselves and everyone else.

Well I suppose Dongjun's first shifu was a great guy but 1. He didn't have enough time 2. Even if he did he was dying and sustaining himself in a contained bubble and what he could teach Dongjun about the world was quite limited.

Ahaha I have the exact same pouch! It's a cheap Aliexpress delivery pouch I got a ring sent in

Ep 13

Omg she's TOO CUTE! This young lady and Baba from JoL2 are the prettiet babies I've seen this year!

Local playboy realises his boyfriend from alt universe is happily married and has chosen to live a stress free life, the new boyfriend has ditched him for his future child's mom, his old boyfriend is away in a Detox Vacation and realises his carefree childhood has come to its end 😔

Dongjun:

Also I'm actually kinda surprised to find myself shipping this tragic pair of Dingzhi/Wenjun, and shipping HARD at that. I don't know what I expected but by the the time of BoY, all that remains about their relationship is a sordid gossip but they actually turn out to be two broken lil kids🥺 They don't even have like, a hot and hormonal romance but a one built on sweet childhood promises of protecting his little meimei and caring for her Yun gege. Poor babies😭

Ep 14

Liu Yue thinks he hides it well behind his hat but dude is practically bursting at seams for having gotten a disciple, and he's basically teaching Yue Yao how to flex well and never embarrass herself, which in addition would embarrass himself lol. He also seems to be kinda lonely and bored despite his quirky lil maid and broody bf. It's like he was born to be a social butterfly but with his current social status he cannot.

Inaccurately accurate MTL 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(Also this is so funny to me with the context that I've read the "lifting the hijab" mtl line in lots of Chinese fics where the couple gets married and that red veil lifting thing happens on the marrige bed lol.)

Dingzhi's master seems to be just as traumatised by life as Dingzhi is. Huang Yi lasohi is actually so good in roles like this. Also can we have an applause for the first genderqueer character in the show woohoo

And then the two shifus have a date about their duel, lol

Ep 15

Baili Dongjun gotta be the naivest ML I've encountered in a while, and by naive I mean beyond the levels of your average innocent, inexperienced teen full of sunlight and getting jaded overtime such as Fang Duobing, Wu Xie, Zhang Chulan etc.

Dongjun has grown up so sheltered and full of positivity, he doesn't seem to register the gravity of things even when they are right in front of his face almost to the point of stupidity.

He provides a stark contrast against his friends, Sikong Changfeng who's been the sweetest but also most down-to-earth kid to begin with and Ye Dingzhi who's been dealing with the weight of the whole world since childhood.

That part where Dongjun saw the arrest warrant for Dingzhi who also turned out to be his long lost bff, was told by his elders that they'll take care of the matter and will bring Dingzhi to him, Dongjun was just like "Ok cool! That's settled then! I'm gonna just chill and have a drink with my new girlfriend then!" was almost funny but sad because,

Kid, you are going to be in a WORLD of hurt VERY soon. You trust strangers way too much!

I mean in BoY you see how severely Dongjun has crashed to the point of wanting to create a broth of oblivion..... I can totally see how that happened.

Also that poster is a severe injustice to Dingzhi's GORGEOUS face lmao

Ep 16

I mostly have opinions about Master Li in this ep, which I compiled in a seperate post linked above

Also my bb Changfeng is back! And straight away he also joined the baby making game, and Dongjun has no choice but to be a good wingman to his bros at this point lmao

Changfeng chose the most comparatively normal and mundane romance arc too. She's the top courtesan for sure but still, for many young gentry she wouldn't have been anymore worth than a fling, but Changfeng just went ahead and offered her the most genuine, authentic companionship ever without a second of hesitation. And walked out head held high, with ZERO idea about how suave and sexy it made him and I'm like:

5/5 Stars No Drama

[paingoes]

Crash Out

Nimrod III

the gang goes on a bender

(Content: (ex) royal whumpee, whumper turned whumpee, sadistic whumper, immortal whumper, drugs, dissociation, amnesia, blood, guns, threat of dismemberment, actual dismemberment, psychological torture, addiction mention, fainting)

==========

“Do you have painkillers?” Lorelai picked at the bandages on her arm. Paris looked at her through the side of his eyes.

“…Obviously I have painkillers.”

He didn’t like them much. He didn’t like anything that felt like it was slowing him down, not before and especially not now. Still, he had a bit of everything stashed away in the compartments.

“I want them,” Lorelai said softly.

“Is it that bad?” There was some small worry in his voice. Johanna had nicked him too, in many different places, but it hadn’t felt like much at the time and it didn’t feel like much after. He guessed his own pain tolerance was a bit skewed. Still, he didn’t like the thought of her messing with them. “Take the aspirin first. Let me know how you feel after.”

She shrugged, pulling the pack out from the first aid kit. She chewed down on the chalky tablets so they’d absorb faster. Her phone went off. He noticed that it was a different phone from the one she had when they had first left — or at least a different case. This one had irregular pearls all over the back of it. She read off the notification.

“I want to go to Xcelcia’s Fair. We’re gonna fly over it tonight,” she hummed in a weary voice.

“I think you should go the fuck to sleep.” 

==========

“When did we get to the mall?” He blinked. She looked up at him in surprise, wearing different clothing than she had been the moment previous.

“Two hours ago?” she guessed. He could tell it was a guess.

“Did we sleep yet?” he asked.

“You blacked out? No. I don’t know. Were you blacked out that entire time?” Lorelai laughed a little. It did nothing to conceal the concern evident on her face.

“Why are we in a mall?” It was eerie. They had been living like vampires, only ever among the living in the dead of night. The bright sun coming in through the skylight gave everything an unreal quality.

“I needed new sneakers. And you said you wanted to come.”

“I don’t think I would say that.”

“I swore you did.”

Her eyes were bloodshot. He was starting to get freaked out. They carried on throughout the mall anyway, the sneakers having not yet been acquired. He sipped idly at the blue razz slushie that was already in his hand — he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have got that, either. Just carrying it made him feel like a dickhead. It tasted decent, though. The sugar helped. Water probably would’ve been better.

“Oh what the fuck.” He squinted as the aura hit him again. 

He looked up to see Johanna walking by on one of the upper balconies. As if she could sense his eyes on her, she spun around on her heel to look. Her initial reaction was instantaneous, so easy to miss, but it was surprise. Or at least the mockery of it. She hadn’t even been hunting. Just bad fucking luck.

“Your Highness!” She broke into a grin, yelling loud enough for everyone in a two block radius to hear. “We can’t keep meeting like this!”

Johanna leapt down from the balcony, the whole story. She did an — admittedly beautiful — tuck and roll to avoid absorbing the fall’s shock. Why bother? Even if she had broken her ankles, they’d heal in two seconds.  

Lorelai bolted just as soon as she’d heard the voice. He realized she didn’t have the gun on her, remembered he didn’t have his sword. Johanna had the damn sword; he’d left it in her chest. He took off too, not knowing where they were going. Lorelai seemed a little more there than he was. She might at least remember where the ship had been parked. 

Something exploded loudly. He dropped via trained reflex, tugging Lorelai down with him. It’d been the right call. Large pieces of shrapnel flew right over their heads. 

“What the hell?” Lorelai whined, stretching out the syllables, “Was that for us?”

Johanna limped forward, carrying the smell of smoke. A piece of pipe hung out of her shoulder. Her glistening blood coated her shirt.

“That one was for me, actually.” The smile she wore then was not the same one it had been a few moments ago.

Lorelai scrambled back to her feet, taking off again. Paris’s own curiosity slowed him. He looked in the direction of the explosion, the same direction Johanna had come from, but it was clear she hadn’t caused it. A few people circled behind her, prowling. They had guns. What the fuck kind of mall was this? They seemed to know her pretty well. She shot him a last look, seething, smirking. Saved by the bell. She turned to face them instead.

He knew if they shot her and missed, it’d go straight into him instead. That was just the kind of day he was having. He hurried himself out of their sightline. Another explosion went off. 

My name is Johanna, she had said so proudly the first time they met. Was he actually supposed to know what that meant? Someone with a lot of explosives did. He made it outside. Lorelai honked the ship’s horn, beckoning him over. He crawled into the passenger’s seat.

“What even was that? Right?” Lorelai wrinkled her nose. “I don’t like her.”

“I literally don’t know what the fuck is going on right now?” he said.

==============

But he was fighting her again. He’d just taken something, he didn’t remember what. It made him faster, made him hit harder, made him fucking terrified with such a deep sense of foreboding he was sure he was about to die. Not that Jo would let him. That obviously wasn’t what she wanted.

He knew he was kind of losing it. If he’d ever snapped like this in the field, he’d have already been pinned down and sedated. He wasn’t sure if that had ever happened or not — it seemed plausible, though when the thought entered his head there was no specific memory he could attach it too. He could not attach anything at all to Johanna. She wasn’t a girl. She wasn’t even a person. She was blight. She twisted all about him like she was made of air and smoke. He had trouble holding her at all. 

He had the sword again. She’d brought it back to him. She had meant to threaten him with it, but he’d managed to wrestle it out of her hands. In an act of manic desperation, he cut straight through the bone of her arm, severing the limb. He did not think much of it at the time. It was simply a thing you could do to a body, among many other things you could do to a body. Maybe he’d just been curious. Nothing else seemed to work.

==============

Again. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he knew he’d fucked this one up severely. Johanna’s freshly grown hand was curled up in a fist in his hair. The other twirled the knife. He recognized, distantly, that it was a collector’s item. He’d had one just like it. One of her knees was planted on his elbow, the other on his chest, one boot planted firmly on the wrist of his opposite arm. She gave the knife a little toss in the air, catching it deftly, taking her time. She placed the knife’s edge right by the skin of his shoulder and did not wait a second before slicing it open. He writhed. It didn’t do any good.

“Stop,” he said, “stop stop stop stop stop s”

It cut in half an inch below the surface. He could tell she had hit muscle. His arm twitched involuntarily even as it was held in place.

“top stop stop stop stop stop stop stop st”

Johanna laughed. She pulled the knife out before it could reach bone. He had never seen blood gush that way before. He thought it only did that in horror movies. She winked at him. Just kidding. She went back to spinning the blade between her fingers. It moved like she had it on a string.

“Did you even feel that?” She asked. “You didn’t, did you? Oh, I’ve got to try it again when you’re sober. That’s not fair.”

===========

He blinked. Back in the passenger seat. His arm was bandaged around the shoulder. Lorelai was covered in blood. None of it was her own.

“Thanks,” Paris said numbly, filling in the blanks.

“Don’t mention it.”

He looked out the window and into the vastness of space. He still couldn’t figure out what time it was. He reached into his pocket and was relieved to find his vape was still there. It was the only constant in his life.

“I think we should blow up her ship,” he suggested.

“How?”

“I don’t know. Don’t you know any bomb recipes? I thought you were a radical.”

“Not off the top of my head. Don’t you?”

“I should, right? Like, I swear I learned them at some point. I think I have legitimate fucking brain damage. I’m not even kidding.”

“No, I think that’s true. You’ve been hitting your head a lot.”

“I meant from the alcoholism, but yeah. Probably both.”

“Oh.” She frowned. 

It was the first time he’d ever called it that. He thought it was a bit unfair to scapegoat alcohol specifically, considering all the other shit he was putting into his body. But that was simply what came to mind first. He hit the vape.

“I’m going to pass out,” he informed her.

“You’ve been meaning to do that. You know-“

He did not hear the end of the sentence.

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety

[ril-sillyart1st]

BATMM FF AU: "Understand my ship in 5 mintunes" meme!

My own version of this meme! Full credits to gibbarts for the template and inspired by @dead-cat-batmm, @ask-the-blasher-fam, @meliskindachildishlol and more. (Sorry for the tags, just let me know if you don't want to be tagged so I could remove"@")

Drawings itself:

And yeah I didn't fully render instead because I thought it would look too much for an god-damned little work lol.

Chibi Blaze Flarelyn and Crusher Flarelyn:

Going to make their reference sheet and exes version next! :3

Just a heads-up: this will have both SFW and NSFW parts!

Their bar thingy information:

"who's the big spoon and little spoon?"

They're both a big and little spoon (they switch), though Crusher was at first the big spoon when their relationship started and Blaze was still kinda short but after Blaze's 26 birthday she grown older and taller than his boyfriend making them also the big spoon.

Crusher was the clingy one when it comes to waking up.

SLIGHT SUGGESTIVE/NSFW PART AHEAD!

Blaze just loves to use Crusher's chest as his pillow sometimes (same goes to Crusher) but this mostly happened when they were boyfriends at that time.

And Crusher likes to use Blaze's belly and sometimes his ass as his pillow.

SLIGHT SUGGESTIVE/NSFW PART ENDS!

"Who borrows and lends their clothes?"

Pretty much they kinda also both lend each other's clothes swap because both are plus size though Crusher is way bigger than Blaze so it's more rare for Crusher to borrow their partner's shirt because it's too fitted on them. That one cat shirt ended being Crusher's shirt instead because it was bigger than his size (the one that has a cat with pizza everywhere on space), they really, really loved that shirt so much that they never gotten to give it back to Blaze every again lol but Blaze wasn't mad at all because she actually didn't like that shirt that much if they're being quite honest.

After their third date, Crusher has once again stole another cat shirt from his boyfriend that also fits perfectly on them. (It was two shirts this time!)

"who doesn't and does use pet names?"

Blaze and Crusher actually kind of rarely use pet names (ex: love, smarty-pants, etc) when mostly flirting! When they're having a normal conversation or fighting they'll use their real names.

Though this stops when they got married as it got more fewer for them to call each other pet names. This is where they start calling each other "daddy" and supposedly "dad" (parental role names).

SLIGHT NSFW PART AHEAD!

When it was their first time making love, they started to call each other pet names again (ex: sexy, love, etc).

Though Crusher was kind of shy to call Blaze "sexy" while getting all the fun he gets from his husband.

NSFW PART ENDS HERE!

Does this part even still about pet names? Prob not but I'll add this little lore anyways.

After Crusher was tested as "positive" in his pregnancy test he was in full joy to have his own child after being a former child psychologist, child therapist and taking care of children in his younger adulthood (aka babysitting).

Crusher was hoping for the best for his future daughter (Fiar) to say "daddy" as her first word. 👀

But it was "dada"!? Fiar's first word was "dada" instead of "dad" which Blaze wasn't expecting her to say the least. Blaze tried so many types to get his daughter to say "dad" instead but "dada" was his official parental name.

"who's introverted and extroverted?"

Both are socialized trucks (aka extroverts).

"who's affectionate through words and who's affectionate through actions?"

Blaze's way of flirt is being affectionate through her words more than his actions. Even few words would make Crusher's engine explodes from overheating due to easily get fluttered.

Crusher's flirting is through actions instead. Though Blaze isn't the type of truck who would easily be so giggly and fluttered like them but that doesn't mean Blaze can't get fluttered at times sometimes.

"who confesses first?"

Crusher always wanted to confess first but his weak ass was too shy to say it to Blaze so they waited for him instead which didn't last too long for Blaze to say what his confidence ass want to say to his love.

Blaze was having butterflies in his stomach when he confesses to them, which Crusher felt the same as well.

"who's a scary cat and who isn't for a bug?" (TW: mentioned about bugs and k🫧lling a r🌊ach!)

Crusher happens to have a love-hate relationship towards non-pest bugs, they do still find some bugs cool! Their favorite bug would be a dragonfly! And speaking of dragonfly, Crusher have a little dragonfly friend named "hasty", they met them when they where in the garden watering their plants.

Blaze in the other hand loves non-pest bugs as they find them delightful.

Though the only bug both would obviously kill will be a roach and any pest bugs that are harmful to anyone.

"who can and cannot cook and bake?"

Both can cook and bake but Blaze only knows a few recipes from other sweets but isn't a afraid to get out of her comfort zone when it comes to new stuff which same goes to Crusher themselves.

When it comes to Blaze making pancakes, it always tasted weird because some parts of the pancake are still dough and uncooked and this is why Blaze can only make waffles and other breakfast food instead.

"Who likes and dislikes PDA?"

Blaze loves to tease and flirt Crusher time to time Infront of their friends, not to exactly embarrassed his boyfriend but rather as a playful romantic act as she just loves Crusher's reaction to it.

Blaze only do it if they're with their friends at a safe spot despite Axle City is LGBTQIA+ friendly.

"who's overprotective and who's chill?"

Both are quite overprotective to one another especially Blaze. But it got a little chiller when they got married.

When they have Fiar (their daughter), the two were protective but not overprotective towards her and one another.

"who has more relationship experience?"

Crusher used to date someone in senior collage life who just used them for live streaming and videos but good thing Pickle helped them try to break up with thier ex girlfriend, Maritime aka Gas Guzzler.

Blaze didn't dated anyone in her life not until Crusher themselves. Blaze has been asking advises from his parents when he was 15 years old.

when Blaze finally dated Crusher, his parents were worried and was having second opinions on dating someone who's his frenemies but she told them that Crusher was slowly turning good that they don't need to be worried about, Blaze could handle this one his own. (which he was right, Crusher was now a good truck and he handle it properly in his own).

NSFW PART AHEAD!

"Their horny level"

Like I mentioned earlier about their first time making love, both where really ready to not just have a baby but also wanted to get the fun started in their marriage.

Blaze was patiently waiting for this to happen for some time now. This man was ready to have a blast with his spouse, Crusher.

Both are getting to enjoy the fun, as both are equally giving each other the love. (They're basically doing the "ho-ho-ha-ha" funny number position 👀)

Blaze was mostly the top when she was 😻 her husband so goodly, Crusher was way louder than Blaze though good thing that the neighborhood didn't heard them (somehow lol 👀).

Both Blaze and Crusher gave each other 💕 marks which Crusher looks more obvious than Blaze.

END OF NSFW PART!

"Awkwardness level"

Crusher is way more to get the awkwardness level than Blaze despite being extrovert.

"Jealousy level"

Crusher pretty much can still get easily jealous at his own boyfriend and future husband at time especially on race though he's trying to not get insecure about it and enjoy the race instead.

And I didn't put their relationship lore here because it would take me forever to think and I want it to separate the lore somewhere else.

[lolkitkatbar]

Sorry y'all but this episode was the WORST murder drones episode EVER :(

Strap in folks. This is gonna be one LONG complaint...

(Sorry for the bad screenshots. I'm so fucking tired idgaf) SPOILERS UNDERNEATH THIS LINE GIRLIE! I REPEAT! SPOILERS UNDER THIS LINE!

Okay, positives (Don't worry. There isn't much) First of all, animation is GREAT. A bit zany and exaggerated but definitely not BAD. Voice acting is great. Cyn is great, Music's good....uh, Nuzi?...yeah that's it

Okay so we start off with Copper-9 exploding and the teacher giving zero fucks. I thought that was pretty funny. Then we see Uzi in space, currently tweaking out until Nori just basically spells out how to defeat the solver. There is no realization about how they can defeat the solver, it's just given to them. And no real reunion scene with Uzi and Nori. Sure they meet each other but there is NO closure. They act like they've been together for YEARS! Why doesn't Uzi freak out about meting her mom? Why doesn't Nori freak out about seeing her daughter? Or bring up N? Or how her life is? I get we're on a time crunch but COME ON!

Then N just swoops in to save Uzi. We kinda just skip past his reaction to Uzi's sacrifice which is a disappointment. He just says that he was mad about that and that they'll talk about it later, but they never do. It's just brushed over and done with. Then the solver comes in and throws them into space and then they're falling and burning up and then Nuzi becomes officially official.

As a Nuzi shipper, I should feel happy. My favorite ship was just mentioned of course, but it feels so shoe horned in and rushed. I was hoping it would have a bigger impact but it's just shoved in there without a celebration and the abruptly ends because Uzi want to slap a demon

You might also notice that it's been four minutes and SO much is happening in such a short amount of time. This will be a problem for the ENTIRE episode

Next we cut to J, Thad, Lizzy, and Khan and holy shit I am SO upset because they do NOTHING with them in this episode! They were setting them up for a fight but now everyone is just laying on the floor and doing jack.

Also SURPRISE, J is evil! Did you want more J screentime. Did you want her to be important to the plot or even have the SMALLEST redemption arc by the end? WELL TOO BAD because J being evil is all you're getting before she's kicked into the void forever :)

V also comes back and she has befriended the sentinels. I don't think anyone really believed she died. She basically just fights J and realizes how horrible of a person she is. She then says sorry to N for lying to him and stuff. That's cool. Don't exactly have anything to say on her. She's a good part of the episode but she suffers from underutilization like the others

Something something hot drones. Something something NxUzixV canon (My Uzi's Bi headcanon is REAL! YIPPEE)

Then they have an admittedly good fight scene. I have to say tho. There are a LOT of times where it seems like the characters are actually going to die and then the story just doesn't let it happen like some twisted game of hot potato and it gets annoying after a while. (Like when Cyn pulls out their hearts and stuff)

Then N and Uzi make up a handshake mid-fight and it just...stops the momentum of the fight. IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A JOKE IN THERE THEN JUST DON'T MAKE A JOKE!

Then Uzi just...kills the solver? Or at least Cyn? Not because of something she did btw, but because Cyn went too crazy with fazing around and shit. ARE. YOU. SERIOUS! This character has been set up to be a strong a challenging foe and she just DIES because of an OOPSIE!? It's Doll's sudden death all over again but somehow WORSE. But of course we have to make Cyn's death rushed! WE ONLY HAVE 20 MINUTES IN THIS DAMN EPISODE!

And then Uzi, like, eats her heart? And then solver is just...inside her? And there's no consequences? It's just treated as a cool accessory? Holy shit this episode was rushed

Nori saves Khan from dying. I thought they were also going to have a heartfelt moment or something. All sobing. All tears. But no. For some reason Nori gets nervous about seeing her hubby again and runs off (Honestly if I was a fleshy spider heart, I would be nervous too). Then Khan calls the flesh heart hot because he's a freak

And then....that's it. They go back to the school like nothing happened. They don't really adress that the world is currently broken, or that N, V, and Uzi still got that dawg in them (Solver). They're all just like, YEP! THAT'S THE END OF THE STORY NOW!

N says that Uzi's his girlfriend, V and Lizzy are shown to be friends even tho we've only ever been TOLD that they're friends, We get a cut away to Doll's dead body that only makes me sad they didn't do more with her, and V gets turned on by N's anime drawings, the end.

Oh yeah, and there's an after credit scene of Uzi looking miserable, probably still having issues with the solver, so clearly not EVERYTHING is resolved by the end of this season. Uzi having to battle with the Solver inside her body is a cool concept and NOBODY can tell me that Liam was TOTALLY going to do another season with this premise, but then by episode 7, decided to stop mysteriously

Okay, not part of the episode but N's merch don't make no sense. V and Uzi's make sense because they have something that is related to what they did in that episode. V fought against the sentinels. Uzi got corrupted by the solver and dragged into the hole. But N's stand shows an event that happens in episode 2. Yes! EPISODE 2! At first, I was confused why this was but it's probably because unlike the other 2, N did nothing significant in this episode except get beat up and have panic attacks. (I did feel bad for and sympathized with him the whole time ngl). But I guess getting beat up and having panic attacks wouldn't make a cool stand now would it.

Yeah, all in all, I'm disappointed. So disappointed that I might just make a fanfiction rewritting episode 8 for myself and then make it canon out of spite. Honestly the lowest ranked episode for-

Wait

Hold on

CAT V PLUSH!!!!!!!!!!!????

NEVERMIND Y'ALL THIS EPISODE WAS AWESOME 10/10!!!!

[deadcool14]

SPOILERS!!!!!

SPOILERS!!!!!

SPOILERS!!!!!

SPOILERS!!!!!

I wanna talk about this show (btw pls watch it, it's so fucking good, the characters are peak and the animation is fucking amazing!):

Episode 1:

-I can't believe they foreshadowed the final boss with fucking Sonic trivia

-Ngl if I asked out a girl and she didn't know anything about neither Sonic or X-Men, I'm dipping the first chance I get

-I was wondering why Scott had the star t-shirt at the beginning, since he only got that at the finale battle with Gideon, to signify his love for Ramona, but with the added context it's not supposed to matter, it's there because it's his most recognizable look

-Matthew's entrance doesn't have the same umph as the movie's. His actor really went all out in that scene, XD

-Sucks that Scott wasn't very involved in this, since he is the title character, but I still loved everything about this. Hope we get to see his arc in the next season

Episode 2:

-Why is Ramona dyeing her hair so damn satisfying?

-Edit: The fact that STEPHEN of all people was the one that gave Scott a euology and was the only one that actually gave a damn XD

And it's pretty sweet that he would have been ok to find out if they sucked, if they found out they sucked together

-"Mommy!" yeah

-I can fucking believe she actually sang that fucking song XD

-Brie Larston is so talented; if I didn't already know she played Envy, I honestly could not tell that was her, but then again I only know her as Captain Marvel, where she has a deeper and much cooler voice

-So, if in the Scott Pilgrim world people just re-spawn at home after being defeated, does that mean that there no one can be murdered or manslaughtered? And if so, how do people actually get a "permanent game over"? Does everyone just die of old age? Also if people bury the coins dropped after someone dies, would that make grave-robbing the most common crime in the world?

-The fact that all Matthew needed to defeat Gideon was confidence is actually very inspiring. The probable reason why he's so extra (besides being a theater kid) is because Ramona dumped him, which really hurt his self-esteem. And while it's kinda sad and pathetic to let a middle school break-up bring down your self-worth, that doesn't mean it didn't suck for Matthew; and after realizing that Ramona wouldn't take him back just because he beat Scott, he finally got a reality check and decided that their goal was pointless, so he moved on from Ramona and decided to make something out of himself, and using the confidence he got from "beating" Scott, he unleashed his true power and was able to defeat Gideon, take his company, and then became successful Broadway actor

-"Et tu, eat me." Roxie is a fucking queen

Episode 3:

-Hey, I didn't asked to be fucking attacked about my writting process, Scott Pilgrim!

-Knives getting more character development besides being obsessed with Scott is everything I didn't know I ever wanted

-I feel you Stephen, I do 😞

-Omg I ship Knives and Kim so much!

-Since Roxie predates Toga, then should be saying that Toga gives off Roxie vibes?

-I'm in lesbians with all of them

-Roxie is so fucking horny lol. Tho I can't blame her, I would go rent to that video store everyday to talk to Kim or Hollie... and immediately choke and explode before a word comes out my mouth

-Also, fun fact: Hollie looks like a milf, but she's actually 26!

-Nice of that lady to apologize to Robot-01. He doesn't deserve all the mistreatment he gets, he's a good boi

Episode 4:

-Holy fuck this animation

-Bro, what is that song? XD

-'Edgar Wrong' XD XD XD

-Young Neil is a fucking treasure

💚 :3

-Straight Wallace is an anomaly that should not be allowed to exist

-Notorious heterosexual

-People are 100% saying some bullshit like, Lucas is only going out with her because he's secretly a pedo is only likes her because she's PLAYING a 17-year-old and that feeds his fetish

-Already saw a meme of the "My God!" clip, keep those coming people!

-Holy fuck this animation!!

-The paparazzi looking like cockroaches, nice

-I feel really bad for Lucas, he's actually a nice guy

-And then he fucking yeets a kid and steals his skateboard XD

-"Watch out guys, Vegan comin' through!"

Episode 5:

-I feel a little bad for Todd, but it's also so satisfying seeing this jackass, who thinks he can get away with anything because he's a rock star, get wrecked

-Weird the Vegan Police didn't show up to take away his powers tho; maybe they were informed of the situation and decided to give him a pass this time.

I really hope they expand on the whole concept of being Vegan in season 2

-Edit:

Envy: Hey, ask them what it feels like to always get his sloppy seconds?

Ramona: How does it feel-?

-I love how they expanded on the Stephen & Knives friendship :3

-I did not recognize Simon Pegg and Nick Frost until the end where they had the cornettos XD

Episode 6:

-Honestly, surprised they didn't bring up that Julie had a crush on Scott, and that's why she's always a bitch to him, specially because this is an anime, they can actually call her a tsundere!

And while we're on that, anyone think it's weird that nearly single girl in the comic had or still has a crush on Scott? Like, seriously? This asshole, really? And you just know that if it was a manga made in Japan, Stacie would have a goddamn bro-con complex with him

-Idk how I feel about them just glossing over Gideon just being an absolute monster; like yeah, Ramona was a bitch with most of her relationships and she does tend to run away from her problems, but Gideon was a manipulative, ego-centric, abusive piece of shit. I mean, the guy kept his 6 ex-girlfriends frozen in stasis for appearences or for whatever else he wanted, and he wanted to do the same to Ramona. I like him and Julie being assholes together, but seriously, I hope they touch on that in season 2

-Dude fuck those kids, I would give Gordon so much respect for actually trying that; I wish I had a third of his confidence

-I never knew I needed to see Captain America and The Spot being goofy friends until now

-I headcanon that one of the reasons why they had Matthew take over Gideon's company was so they could finally give him a job XD, tho it was always insinuated that he was in the army, because of the Private Rank patch on his jacket, which they removed in this version and that really sucka because I liked that little detail; it was also another reference to him being the 1st Evil Ex, because Private is the 1st rank in the military

-At least Ramona does recognize that what she did was messed up, even if the Twins were also being dicks, she should have just called them both out and be done with them

-Those fucking Vegan Robots man, I swear to God

Episode 7:

-When Old Scott spoke, I thought it was Ben Schwartz at first lol

-I love how the world isn't the cliché "terrible post apocalyptic world caused by something that happened to the main character", it just looks really crappy, which... yeah, accurate; the look everyone has just seems to be the current fad, they just embraced the post-apocalyptic looking world they live in.

Also that tech is not that advanced, they have hover vehicles and board, and holo-phones, that does seem like they kind of tech we could have in a few decades, maybe

-The fucking Virtual Boy XD XD XD, surprised Scott's eyes weren't on fire after staring into that thing

-Old Wallace is a fucking GILF

-That lucky motherfucker! He probably got the Switch for free!! 😬😬😬

-Nice Death Stranding reference

-Ramona changing her hair color every week was symbolic of her always running away from her problems, but I like that she keeps doing it in the future, just because she likes it

-Of course Future Ramona has fucking Back To The Future roller blades XD

-Both Ramonas are the same fucking size XD

-At first it felt that they just speedran Scott and Knives, but then again Scott probably read a little of Old Young Neil's auto-biography and figured things out. And since Knives wasn't as obsessed with Scott at this point it makes sense that she'd take this a lot better, Kim and Stephen probably helped her out too

-But at least she catharsis by seeing Scott and Ramona not being able to kiss XD

-Oh! And I just realized that she didn't waste her first kiss on Scott! 😃

Good for her!!

Episode 8:

-I think it's dumb they gave Knives her look from the comics without any reason. She only changed her look to look more appealing to Scott in the comics, and in the epilogue she's back to her normal look, like, at least have people mention the look and her saying that she's trying something new

Edit: I rewatched the whole thing and I just realized that Even Older Scott punched the highlights out of Knives' hair XD

-It's basically a meme at this point, but pls have the Katayanagi Twins do something! They had such a bigger role in the comics. At least I wanted to see their combo moves animated!

It's nice that the Exes are actually cheering for them to kiss, or maybe they're just teasing because they can't; either way it's nice

-Even Older Scott is Ramona's 8th evil ex. He debuts in the 8th episode and has studied the powers of all the other 7 Evil Exes along with his own, which adds up to 8.

Sucks he didn't actually use their powers, I would have loved it if he used Vegan Powers combined with mystical powers, maybe instead of Demon Hipster Chicks he summons little Nega Scotts, he has stronger skateboard tricks than Lucas, he some robot arms that can shoot lasers and can help him do the Twins' combo moves, but doubled

-Edit: The fact that Knives went for Ramona instead of Scott. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

-Even Older (Nega) Scott is just Evil Ryu and I fucking love it!!

-Even Older Scott's color scheme not only signifyes just how jaded and lost he's become, but also that Nega Scott has completely taken him over is just *chef's kiss*

-Edit: Todd still has the Wallace tattoo XD also his was my favorite attack, he just teleports and slams down, simple, but awesome

Also Even Older Scott defeated him with a headbutt

-Edit: It would've been funny if he had also punched Roxie in the boob again

-Every future character has "Old" in their name, but Ramona is just "Future Ramona", she will cut you if you call her old. Real missed opportunity to not call the oldest Ramona "Future Future Ramona".

"MILF" and "GILF Ramona" also would have been acceptable

-Sex Bob-Bomb became the new Crash and the Boys, except that instead of having an 8-year-old, they have a 17-year-old.

And Scott now has his actual girlfriend watching him perform

-Looks like Ramona actually enjoyed the stunt double gig. Good for her, tho honestly, she should have stuck with Netflix, Idk why, but I feel like they're gonna blow up at somepoint

-I like the idea of Lucas x Kim, but I would still prefer Knives x Kim, and my personal made-up ship: Lucas x Stacie. I just love big bois with cute smol gfs

-At first, it didn't make sense to see Todd and Roxie hanging out, but then I realized that just like Roxie, Todd was hurt by someone who treated their relationship like an un-important after-thought, a phase; and just broke it up like it was nothing, without any consideration for the other's feelings. And now that Roxie got closure with Ramona she's helping him to move on from this in a way healthier way than she did. (That and they're both gay) That is so fucking wholesome, I need to see them being friends in season 2 pls!! Also sucks she didn't interact much with Matthew, because Satya Bhabha said that he thinks Matthew and Roxie would be friends.

Also this was kinda foreshadowed in episode 2, at the end of Matthew and Gideon's fight, where she mentions wanting to get Vegan Powers after seeing how convinient they are. I need Half-Ninja, Vegan, Lesbian, now!!!!

-Wallace: Holy shit! True love does exist!?

-Ramona is finally gonna stop running away, so she keeps most of her hair as her natural color with a little green at the end to not forget her past and where she came from

-Get wait to see what Goose's game, but it must be in pretty early development, probably untitled even

SEASON 2 PLSSSSSS!!!!

[xenonsreturn]

In Another Life

A short story of Garrus Vakarian and Commander Shepard

I need to do . . . something. I need to get out of here. If I stay in the battery any longer, I think I'm going to explode. Why does this room have to be so damn small?

But where the hell am I going to go? No matter where I go, I have to bring my head with me. What I really need is to get out of my head.

Where is this coming from? I've been doing fine . . . well, as fine as any turian on a suicide mission can do. But now, I can't seem to think straight. I'm nervous. Which is new for me. I can't concentrate on my calibrations and they seem to go on forever. I find myself pacing. There's a buzzing all over my skin. Maybe I'm sick. I could go see Dr Chakwas . . . no. Bad idea. She'd remove me from duty – or worse, give me medicine.

I'm heading for the mess. Maybe just having something in my stomachs will help me settle down.

When did this start, anyway? Hmm. Illium. No, it was after that. Hell, I don't know. I know I was fine when Shepard and I tracked down Sedonis. I still wonder whether I could have taken the shot. Is that what's bothering me?

No, that's not it. Even if I could have, I saw what Shepard was doing. She didn't want me to take it. Saving me from myself, she said. Hmm. She's done that a couple times now. She's always trying to pull me back. I don't know why she cares so much. It's really irritating.

Still, I have to admit, I make better choices when she's around. And when she's not – well, I turn into Archangel. It's a lot easier to be Archangel, but . . . well, I feel stronger, somehow, here on the Normandy. And it's good to have some familiar faces around sometimes. Joker. Tali. Even Liara for a bit there. Shepard, of course. I probably have more in common with her than anyone else on the ship. Hell, than anyone else in my life. I liked it when she used to come down and talk, before Liara came back. Somehow, she made the battery feel a little larger, even though there were two of us in that tiny space. But now, she and Liara are back together, and she hasn't been around since, and I -

Oh.

Oh, damnation.

How did I not see this happening? And now it's too late, isn't it?

I thought – I guess I thought . . . that she . . . maybe . . . ah, hell.

Can I go back to not knowing what's bothering me? That was better than this.

Great. Now I'm talking to myself. Or hearing voices in my head. Whatever. But I'm right. I can't go into hiding – not from myself. I turn around and get a seat at the end of an empty table.

I'm going back to the battery. I need . . . cover. I do not want company right now. No, Garrus, dammit, you're going to the mess!

I'm not alone long, however. Tali shows up. Great.

"Is this seat taken?" She asks – then, without waiting for a reply, she sits down anyway.

"Uhh . . ." I look the length of the empty table. "Doesn't look like it." None of the other seats are taken, either – why don't you try that one way over there?

She just looks at me. Well, at least I think that's what she's doing. That damn mask makes her hard to read. Actually, come to think of it, I wish I had a mask. Lucky lady.

"What are you having?" She asks.

I pretend to be relaxed. I am sure I suck at it. "I don't know. Whatever Rupert's serving that won't kill me, I guess."

Tali chuckles. "Well, whatever won't kill you, won't kill me, either. Let's split an order."

So much for no company. Back to the battery, I guess. "Actually, I'm not hungry after all," I say, and start to get up.

With surprising speed, Tali reaches across the table and grabs my wrist. Not only is she fast, she's strong. In spite of my shock, I have to admit, I'm impressed.

"Don't. Go. Anywhere. Garrus."

Well, this is . . . unwelcome. I slowly sit back down. I have a bad feeling about this.

"You've been acting . . . strange, Garrus. Distracted."

This is worse than I thought. People can tell.

"Ah, I don't think – "

Tali cuts me off. "Don't deny it. You haven't been yourself since we left Hagalaz."

"Well – "

"I've seen you pacing."

"No, I – "

"Your aim was off on the last mission."

Okay, that's too much. "Now, wait just one goddamn minute – "

She sighs. "Garrus, calm down. It's obvious you've got some knot you're trying to untie, and we feel – "

"WE?" This day just keeps getting worse and worse. "Who's we?"

"Oh, you know, Miranda, Jack, Samara, Chakwas, Gabby."

Just when I think I've hit bottom. At least Shepard's not on the list. And -

"Not Kelly?"

"No, not Kelly. I know it's her job, but . . . well, quite frankly, none of us can stand her."

I don't understand that at all, but I'm really beyond caring at this point.

"Look, Garrus, we just want to help."

Help. Fantastic. Not only can people tell, not only are they talking about it, now they want to help. I'm Archangel, goddamn it.

"Tali. Go hack some other project. Right. Now."

I stare into that mask. She seems to stare back for a moment, then shrugs and stands up. "Fine. I tried. Chakwas said you'd do this." She turns away, but then turns back and says, "Take care of it yourself, then, Garrus. Good luck with that. You need it."

I just look at her until she's gone. I wish I could take some satisfaction in hurting her feelings, but it's clear that she's not hurt. She's just pissed. And also, well, I don't want to hurt her, not really. She's a good person on the team. I like her. It's just . . . don't go trying to get under my skin like that! You're not invited!

"So – " A voice right next to me. I look up and Rupert is standing there.

"What do you want?" I growl. I am kind of pleased that he backs up a step.

"Uh, that's what I was going to ask you, Garrus," he says, a little breathlessly. He holds out the day's menu. "What do you want?"

I take it out of his hands. "Just . . . give me something that will kill me."

It has not been a good day.

Back in the battery. I am, in fact, hiding. I don't want to go out there. Where they know. I just wish, in here, I didn't know. I must have been blind. And now, I wish I still was.

I look around the little space. I don't have much of mine here. Because I don't have much that's mine. I never thought about it, never thought I was missing anything, but right now, I do. Damn, do I.

At my terminal, there's my dad's old insignia from the fleet. I wonder, did dad ever have to deal with this sort of thing? I can't imagine it. But then, we were always so different. He had discipline. I have . . . what? Lack thereof, I guess. I can't help but rush in . . . and maybe that's why I feel this way. If he could have felt something like this, Dad would have damped it down. But I can't. Not anymore.

The only other time . . . well, there she is. Her dog tags hang next to Dad's insignia. Scout Lidia Misuraca. I wish I didn't have these tags. Because that would mean she'd still be alive. She might have been halfway across the galaxy – hell, she might even be fighting us; we are with Cerberus, after all – but she'd be living. I've run it through my head a thousand times and I still don't know if there was anything different I could have done during that raid, something that might have saved her life – but I still wonder. And maybe that's why I'm out here now.

And maybe she's not all. I take off my visor and run my finger over the ten names carved in the frame. Yeah. I had a team. Good people. And now they're all dead. Because of me. Maybe that's another reason I'm in here – because everyone I touch, dies. It's safer. For them. For me.

I look at the message on the terminal screen. Took me nearly an hour to write it.

Commander,

When you have a moment, I have something I need to discuss with you.

- Garrus

Am I giving too much away? My finger hovers over the 'send' key. Do I dare? And then I realize, it's the only way through this. I hit the key.

I am surprised by the fact that I actually feel some small measure of relief. We're out of the holding pattern now, I guess. I took action – just a little, but enough to set . . . something . . . in motion. I don't know if it's the best thing, but at least it's something. And what the hell am I hoping for anyway? I know she's with Liara. There's nothing that will change that. Maybe if I'd said something earlier, before Illium . . . ah, but I didn't know then, did I? Dammit. And anyway, Liara makes Shepard happy. Who am I to stand in the way of that?

But don't you deserve some happiness, too, Garrus? It's odd, but I hear Shepard's voice asking this question. Do I? I don't know. Ask me most days, I'd say…no. I don't deserve it. But when we're together, maybe I feel like I do. Maybe because she's always seen the best in me. So maybe I do deserve some happiness – but just because I might deserve it, doesn't mean I get it. The galaxy is a cold, cold place. It doesn't care what we deserve. It doesn't care for justice. It's just dark. And I guess it's up to us to be the stars, to hold against the darkness. That's what I strive for. And in a different way, so does Shepard. Different, but . . . well, I guess I had an idea that maybe we were just same enough to have some overlap, maybe enough common ground to build . . . something more than this.

And now she could be on her way down here. Right now.

The reality of this hits me like a . . . well, like a missile to the face. Suddenly, I need to get out again. Cursing my stupid finger that sent the message, I make for the door, but before I get there, it opens.

Shepard.

Ah, hell. Here we go. "Ah, Shepard. Guess you, ah, got my message."

Her eyebrows arch. "What message?"

She came down here just to see me, just to talk with me. I feel torn between two emotions – elation, and it's about fucking time.

"Ah, never mind," I say, hoping my voice sounds steady. I'm surprised that it does. "Just something I wanted to talk to you about, but it can wait. What brings you down here?" Because it's been awhile.

"Okay, yeah," she says. "I want to know if you have any contacts that can keep an eye on Hagalaz for me. I know Liara's capable, but . . ." She trails off, and I can see the concern on her face.

"You want a couple extra eyes watching her back," I say, without even thinking about it. Of course she does.

She smiles. "Yeah, something like that."

I love her smile. I hate how much I love her smile. "I know of three guys off the top of my head – one from my days at C-Sec who became a freelance mercenary, and two I know from Omega. All three will do the job for money. But they're good. And once they commit, they'll see it through." I see the relief in her face, in her posture. "I'll send their contact information to your terminal." I want to throw myself out the nearest airlock. But really, what the hell else am I going to do? Deny her help? That's not in me, not for her.

"Thanks, Garrus." She pauses. "How you been? I feel like I haven't been down here in ages."

That's because you haven't. "Well," I say, "you've been pretty busy. No problem, though – you always know where to find me."

She leans up against the door jamb. "Yeah, but I've missed you, Garrus. Things have been . . . well, crazier than usual, but I miss coming down here, hanging out with you."

She is actually killing me.

"I mean, hell," she goes on. "With almost everyone else, I'm Commander Shepard – Savior of the Citadel. It's really . . . annoying." She smirks. "But you know, we've worked together for a while now. It's good talking to someone I know. Someone I trust. There's a hell of a lot less of that in the galaxy than there ought to be."

"Yeah," I say, because I can't think of anything else to say. And then, I find myself saying, "Shepard, you know what we need? We need a bar on this goddamn ship."

She laughs. "Hell, yes! That's a great idea, Garrus!" She looks towards my footlocker. "Hey, that reminds me, you got any of that Batarian ale left?"

I grin. I'm actually starting to relax a bit. She always does that to me. And she's the only one. "Yeah, I might have a couple bottles left."

I get out the bottles and pop the tops with my talon. She was so impressed the first time I did that.

"Cheers," she says as I hand her one. She tips the bottle back in my direction.

I return the gesture. "Cheers to you, Shepard," I say.

"Garrus, when we're off duty, just call me Hera. We've known each other long enough for that." I do not show how much what she just said means to me.

"Okay, Hera," I say, trying the name out. We both tip the ale back. It burns a bit, but man, the flavor is fantastic. It really lingers.

And then, as she lowers the bottle, I catch a . . . tightening in her face. Like a shadow passing over. And I'm not the smartest man alive, but I know where it came from. I could ignore it . . . ah, hell, no I can't. "So, Comm- ah, Hera. You and Liara? You've . . . worked things out?"

She looks at me, the smirk reappearing from the shadow. "You know me too well. You know that, Garrus?"

If it wasn't for the smirk, I'd change the subject. "Well, maybe I do," I say instead.

"Yeah. Yes," she says. "We have worked things out. Very . . . thoroughly."

I kind of want to die right now.

She sighs. "But it just means I'm going to miss her all over again."

And for a moment, my heart breaks a little – not for me, but for her. I don't know what to say, but I come up with, "Yeah, but it's good to have someone to miss. Someone you know you'll be coming back to. It's a good thing . . . a good thing to see."

I glance at my terminal, and I think of the only other one who ever was close to me. And now . . .

She clears her throat. "Yeah, Garrus. You're right. You're right. It is good. Thanks." I turn to see her smiling at me, but her eyes, well, human eyes, you can tell when there's something going on behind them. And I realize, I've just seen her, hurting for Liara, and she's just seen me, hurting for Lidia. The fact that we saw each other in this moment lightens my heart. I feel . . . bold.

"Anyway, Garrus," she says, breaking our gaze. "You said you sent me a message?"

Ah, crap.

"It's nothing, really, I'm just . . ." I set my bottle down and look at her. "You know, I work pretty well alone. I can go where I want, do what I want, when I want – I have focus. No distractions. Just the job. I don't need much. And it's good - I think, working that way, I make some small difference in the Galaxy."

"A lot more than that, Garrus."

I shrug, even though I'm touched by the compliment. "Maybe. But sometimes . . . well, I like to see what you and Liara have. And sometimes, I think, maybe I'd like something like that, too."

She smiles. "Thanks, Garrus. It's good. It is. But you know, it's also . . . complicated." She takes a breath. "Boy, that word doesn't even cover it. I died. She almost became . . . someone else. And both of us thought the other had moved on. When I think about it, I'm amazed we managed to find the space together." She chuckles. "It's really a mess!" She looks at me. "Who knows, maybe you're the lucky one."

"Huh, maybe." I don't feel lucky.

She raises her eyebrows.

I suddenly can't face her and turn away. "I'm glad for you, though. It's a . . . good mess. I never thought I'd say this, but maybe sometimes a mess is better. But for me, well . . . there's no one . . . available. And that's my fault. I don't really know how . . . I spend so much energy keeping people at arm's length – "

She interrupts. "Well, that's certainly saying something."

I turn back see her looking at my arms. I can't help but feel a little thrill go up my spine. "Yeah, I guess it is." I chuckle. How does she do this, make me talk when I just want to shut up? "But maybe I don't do enough to let people in. I just – well, sometimes I feel like I'm alone in the whole damn galaxy. I've been thinking about it a lot lately – maybe I'm a poorer man for that . . . I don't know, maybe I'm just getting old, thinking of where I might be down the relay." I start to feel like I'm saying too much, like I've already said too much. I want to change the subject. "Hell, I don't know why I bother thinking about this. We're not likely to survive this mission anyway."

But – typical Shepard – she won't let it go. "But you are thinking about it."

"Yeah." Dammit. "Yeah, I am." And then I look at her, and I see her being, well, who she is. For me. "Thanks, Shepard. There isn't really anyone else I'd want to talk to about this." And then it hits me, and my boldness returns. She deserves to know the truth. I step right up to her. "You know what I was saying about arm's length? Well, there's not many who've managed to get beyond that. In fact, ah, there's just one. It's good to have someone I can . . . trust." I take a breath and look her right in the eye. "It's you, Shepard. I'm a better man because of you. And I . . . I just . . ."

The words fail me, right when I need them the most.

I see her face soften, suddenly, and I know she knows. She understands.

I can't stand it. I turn my back on her. "Ah, never mind."

I feel her hands on me as she turns me back around. "Hey."

I look right at her. I am certain everything I'm feeling is plain upon my scarred face.

She rests her hands on my shoulders, and I see a thousand emotions playing across her face. "Garrus, I want you to know something. I trust you, too. I don't make a habit of that. And I don't let people get close to me easily or often, either." She pauses. "In this life, you and I are . . . .what we are. And I'm thankful for that." She nods. "But in another life . . ." She looks right into my eyes. "Garrus, yes. Yes."

I can feel something loosen in my chest. I know what she's saying, and although it kills me, I feel a surge of warmth throughout my whole body. She cares, she really does. It's not perfect, it's not the same thing I feel, but . . . I am important to her. I nod, and then I feel a real smile cross my face. "Hearing you say that . . . in this life . . . is . . . almost as good. Almost as good as another life."

[badpancakelol]

“Have a nice day!”

Eddie doesn’t hope he has a nice day. The guy was a dick and tried to short him on credits, despite being so obviously well off. Like, c’mon, man. Not even trying to hide the Nabooian silk robes? Or the Coruscanti accent? Offhandedly mentioning that his girlfriend was a senator? Just because he works in the middle of a shit ship-port on Tatooine doesn’t mean he’s thick. He wipes the grease off his hands onto the already-dirty rag, but there’s no use in using precious water on a midday clean. Instead, Eddie dabs the sweat from his brow, and contemplates buzzing his hair short again.

Nabooian. Silk. Thousand threaded, cool-to-the-touch, Eddie’s-favourite-colour, Nabooian silk. The guy had to be taunting him. Had to be. In this heat? In Eddie’s port? With his favourite colour?

(Does it matter that it wasn’t his favourite colour until a certain someone had shown him in-colour holos of the fields? No. No it does not).

And then he had some wannabe bounty hunter from his block try and threaten him to fix his ship, which? Hello? Does Mr Blonde Mullet really think that threatening Eddie is gonna make him want to fix his shit faster? I’ll break your hand if you so much as put a scratch on her. It’s not like he can even do anything to hurt Eddie. A broken hand slows down the work, as does a fractured leg, or a black eye, or a concussion, or a blaster burn, or a vibro-wound, or a—

Ah. You get the point. All bark and no bite, and, dank farrik did he have a stupid amount of bark. Enough bark to fill the entire four hours it took to fix his hunk of junk. 

So, really, you can’t blame him for the mood that he’s been in all day (or, you could try, but if your engine takes a little bit longer to retune, or your fuel is a little more expensive than normal, well. Have fun trying to trek your way into the shitshow of the other side of town), when he turns to find the stupidly shiny Naboo royal starship spluttering its way in. Because, seriously? What the hell has he done to the people of Naboo to deserve this?

Eddie thumps his head against the makeshift table, shouts before the ramp has even extended to let whoever-the-fuck out of the rich ship, “We’re closed!”

The sharp click of heeled boots grate on Eddie’s brain, and is only dulled when he watches the way they sink slightly into the ground through his curtain of hair. 

“I don’t need any work done.” Rich Naboo Man says, and— 

He knows that voice.

“I just need a place to park for a little while — I’m visiting a friend around here, actually.”

Eddie lifts his head, peeks up at the person in front of him. The person who is very much Naboo royalty, who is wearing those stupid bright red robes, and the stupid headpiece that he said was too heavy and impractical, with makeup that he said highlighted his broken nose too much, is shuffling out of the starship. His head is held high, and there’s a crease in his brow that’s been the same since they were stupid foundlings with Eddie reading out the aurebesh on the flimsi that their teachers handed them.

No. Fucking. Way. 

“Steve?” 

“Eddie?” His head moves so fast that the jewels dangling from the headpiece almost whip him in the face. And then Steve is shuffling forwards, back straight and face smoothed to a soothing smile, before he’s already apologising. “I’m sorry that I didn’t make it on time. There were duties that I had to attend to, and they ran longer than—”

He bolts from his seat, taking long strides in his ratty grey jumpsuit before he’s caught Steve around the middle twirling them around, because he’s waiting fifty-seven rotations for this. Fifty-seven. If Steve says one more damned apology Eddie is quite literally going to explode. The laugh that Steve lets out is so hearty and so full — warmer than both of Tattoooine’s suns — and, Force, if Eddie has to go another almost-two-months without seeing him, he is quite literally going to overthrow Naboo.

“Hey! It’s okay, Hop. You can put the blaster down.” Steve places his hands onto Eddie’s shoulders and— did he hear that right?

“King Harrington—”

“—Please, Hop, not while I’m off-duty—”

“Steve, the guy ran at you and hauled you up.”

Steve turns around, and Eddie feels like, then. His royal robes create a silhouette of patience and strength, and tower over Eddie, if you count in the headpiece. There is a part of Eddie that whispers how he should very much be letting go of Steve, because his guard still has his blaster aimed at the only bits of him that stick out from behind Steve’s ornate dress. But it’s been so long, and there’s a larger part of his soul that says that he never wants to let go.

“Hopper,” Steve says, and Eddie can just feel the commanding tone of voice bleed through his usual casualness. “This is who I was meeting.”

Eddie lifts his head over Steve’s shoulder, and ignores the small huff he gets in return for the grease he undoubtedly just smeared across Steve’s very expensive, thousand thread Nabooian silk robes. Maybe it’ll finally give him a reason to change out of them. Hopper lowers his blaster, shoves it into the holster with too much and too little force without-a-capital-F all at once. If Eddie was a lesser man he would have snorted. Or, if Eddie was a lesser man he would have let the guard hear his snort.

“This is the guy you’re courting?” “Force, you make us sound old.” Eddie sighs at the same time Steve full-heartedly responds “Yes.”

The guard — Hopper — just pinches his brow and adjusts the hat on his head. “Well, I can’t say anything for your taste in men, but at least he has a respectable job. And he gets paid.”

“Stevie’s still dealing with the Naboo’s Royal Pocket Money?”

“Don’t remind me.” Steve says, moving a swift motion so that he holds Eddie’s hand underneath one of the long red sleeves of his gown.

When Eddie turns to look at Steve, he’s already turned. There’s a mellowed out look on his face that Eddie reads as is your work finished? Let’s clean up and lie around and do nothing but be near each other. And who is Eddie to deny such a request?

“Well,” Eddie says, in all the hospitality that a man from Tatooine can muster, “We best not keep you any longer.”

Hop hums in the way that Wayne used to when he knew that Eddie was just trying to weasel his way out of things. Maybe it was just one of those sixth senses that fathers-who-aren’t-biologically-fathers gain when their children start dating. Or maybe Eddie’s just obvious.

“I can give you a rundown of your ship in the morning. I think you’ve dislodged something in your engine — I could hear it rattling before you even landed.”

Steve tugs on Eddie’s arm, lip quirked up at the corners, and crows feet showing through ornate red and white makeup. “Eds, there’s nothing wrong—”

“Stevie, I love you, but you’re terrible at lying.”

[worldssmallestghost]

Ibara should exist, actually

Hey, another little essay about a book series that hardly anybody even thinks about anymore, but I do!

If you're a fan of the Pendragon Adventures series, you're likely aware of the... Ibara paradox. If you're not, let me explain:

In the book series, it's explained that there are "travelers" from each "territory", which are different times and places in the vastness that is the greater universe, called Halla. The main antagonist, Saint Dane, has the goal of throwing each of these territories into chaos by forcing them to go against their set timeline. Most of the time, he loses and moves on, but sometimes he succeeds and gets stronger. He views his losses as inevitable wins, as each fallen territory is like a domino effect.

Book four brings upon his first win.

He relies on the local traveler's knowledge of the world in order to trick her into programming a computer virus that is supposed to make people realize that the virtual utopia of "Life light" isn't perfect so they'll willingly leave their perfect worlds to keep their real world alive and functioning. However, Saint Dane's trick is that it straight up kills people before they can get out. The world falls and, is implied to have created a separate timeline and whole new territory in the form of Ibara, a distant future version of itself.

Travelers are not of the worlds they inhabit. They are, for all intents and purposes, gods that maintain order without having any personal effect on Halla. Saint Dane, being one of them that broke order and left, wants to watch it all burn so he can become the ultimate god. Aja is a traveler, and thus, by series logic, she's not supposed to have effect. She was never supposed to exist to create the virus (the reality bug).

Hence where people start screaming "PLOT HOLE!". And I have been guilty of that until recently.

Saint Dane has never been the kind of man to create problems. He just exacerbates them. In book three, he messes with the morality of the travelers by forcing them to leave the Hindenburg to its fate. The Hindenberg was supposed to explode. In book two, is one of the few times he gets as close to creating a problem for a while. Poisoning fertilizer that the ship-inhabiting people of Cloral need.

I believe that Saint Dane just pours gasoline on turning points to accelerate things. Like putting nitrous-oxide in a car to make it careen into a wall. It's the speed that makes it hard to turn things the right direction.

Ibara was always going to happen. Veelox was doomed from the get-go. Saint Dane, time and time again, puts down humanity by calling us selfish and self destructive. In The Quillan games he breaks Bobby down by telling him that it's just human nature to refuse change. The people of Veelox wouldn't want to leave Lifelight, why would they? They get to have perfect dreams forever until they die. Reality can be whatever they want.

The Reality Bug was just to speed things up. Forcing a slightly different version of Ibara to exist.

"What about Aja Killian helping with the creation of Rayne? If she removed herself from the equation, how could she have been there to help people build a better future?" I think that, alongside Saint Dane speeding up the inevitable, Aja was never supposed to be the person leading the charge, it was supposed to be someone else much later. She was forced to fill a role that would eventually be taken by someone else under different, but similar circumstances down the road.

The series has, in my opinion, never made itself quiet about its ideas of how important fate is. Even after the travelers are given the chance to either go back to being immortal spirits, or mortals, they just live normal, unexceptional lives. Like a tiny little bug in a much bigger program, a little quirk that in the end, changes pretty much nothing.

Anyway, if you made it this far, damn, I'm sorry you had to put up with my fan theory for a very, very small fandom lmao. But thank you.