#LETS FUCKING GET CROWLEYS HUSBAND BACK

[ineffably-poetic]

okay guys we’re storming heaven, taking back aziraphale and bringing him and crowley to couple’s therapy. and also punching the metatron. who’s with me?!

[fearandhatred]

haha have you thought about the fact that decades or centuries from now when we're all dead and gone people could still possibly be thinking about good omens and writing about crowley and aziraphale living their lives in that time. doing exactly what we're doing now. and maybe they'll write about crowley and aziraphale living through the historical events we've lived through. have you thought about the fact that crowley and aziraphale will live on long after we're all gone

[snakeeyesandangelfeathers]

like Crowley wasn't traumatized enough by being abandoned by the mother (God) he loved, it took him 6000 years to let himself Trust someone again enough to show his feelings and reveal his heart. only to be abandoned once more 🙃

[notes-app-psychologist]

in the last 3 days I have watched all of good omens seasons 1 and 2

I don't know what I'm meant to do with myself

the kiss. the KISS. and Crowley's voice. and he PUTS HIS GLASSES BACK ON AFTER HAVING THEM OFF THE WHOLE CONFESSION. he was being VULNERABLE. the WHOLE SHOW he keeps them on. keeps himself guarded. and he lets down the defenses because if he doesn't he'll never get the chance to. and because he hopes his angel will listen. that he'll understand and trust

and Aziraphale doesn't bother to bring anything with him to heaven. not a single one of his prized books he's collected. because all on earth that he wants to bring along he can't

jesus christ. a major Gay Ppl Real moment tonight lads. they kissed. right on the mouth. in front of my very eyes. and I knew. I KNEW OKAY. I'd seen gif sets and screenshots and the like for a long while. ineffable husbands is a modern superwholock. you can't be in my spheres and not know who they are. I watched 2 seasons of the build up. the looks and the shielding each other with their wings and the desperation and the devotion. but then they did it. last several minutes of the season's finale and there it is. they really did it.

I need a spiritual scream. just a nice loud screech as loud as my theatre trained lungs can make. but that would be unfair to everyone else in this university housing so I canne

but. I am losing it. i am LOSING. IT. god their acting. the EXPRESSIONS. the HAND touching the LIPS because Crowley finally fucking kissed him after SIX THOUSAND BLOODY YEARS

I'm going to go insane. I have assignments. what am I meant to do in 30 hours? grab my professor by the shoulders? say "hey man, I know you told us we needed to bring these in today but I actually watched Good Omens over the weekend?" that he'll understand why I had to lay face down on the floor instead? that work and school are irrelevant when there's literally Media. Gay Ppl Real? Gay Ppl Real, Micheal?

[dotster001]

For Tuna; Snack Break

Summary: A series of vignettes taking place while Grim is making his final choice. The time will soon arrive....

Part One Part Two Choose your ending....

"I have detention everyday for three weeks," Grim pouted as you gave him his tuna pancake breakfast.

"What did you do this time?"

"I-" he cut himself off, his eyes nervously flicking to yours, then back to his plate.

"Crowley's an ass that's why. No other reasons, don't dig into it henchhuman."

"Am I going to get a bill for it?"

"No."

"Then I don't have the energy to care," you said with a sigh, thinking of all the maintenance you had to do on Ramshackle today.

Grim looked at the time, shoved what was left of his pancake into his mouth, then scampered out the door, passing Ruggie on his way out.

"Hey Y/N, I found  a tool kit, ready to do some fixing?"

You nodded, ready to renovate Ramshackle with your favorite hyena for a couple hours.

….

Grim stepped into the mirror chamber, and made sure to use his toe beans as much as possible. He silently made his way to the headmage's mirror. He had almost made it when he was scooped up, and squeezed firmly in a pair of strong arms.

"Thought you could hide from me forever, didn't you sealio?" Floyd said in a growl.

He brought Grim up to face level, a nasty scowl on his face.

"Let's see if this jogs your memory. I gave you a month's worth of free lobsters. In exchange, you promised I would make it through to the second wave of interviews. Starting to sound familiar?"

Grim quickly nodded.

"Cool, then why did I have to find out from Jade I wasn't chosen to participate, and Azul was?"

Grim whimpered.

"I warned you, right? People who cross my family have a tendency to disappear. It won't be today, it won't be tomorrow, but watch your back, cause one day I'll have Y/N, and you'll-"

"Mister Leech. Unless you want to join Grim in detention, please let him go," Crowley said, crossing his arms in a pout.

"Sounds boring," Floyd pouted, dropping Grim like a hot iron. Unfortunately for Riddle, he happened to choose that moment to step through the Heartslaybul portal.

"Oh! Goldfishie! Let's play tag!"

And now Floyd was running after Riddle, who was practically begging the headmage to save him.

But the headmage conveniently couldn't hear as he escorted Grim to detention.

….

"Idia-"

"Shit! How did you get in here?" Idia screamed at Silver who was patiently sitting on his bed waiting for him.

"I let him in!" Ortho said excitedly. "It is better for your mental health to have friends!"

Idia fought back a glare, before pulling out his iPad, and hastily typing.

"Why are you here?"

"My father said you could answer a question I had. What is "babygirl"?"

Idia stared at Silver for a moment as the tips of his hair slightly flickered pink.

"Damn. I have to choose between the otaku urge to participate in an irl otome cut scene, and my love of Y/N, the greatest character to ever spawn in my save file."

He chewed his lip, and Silver continued sitting patiently.

"Fuck it, this is too epic to pass up. Babygirl means Y/N thinks you're just a little guy."

"I still don't understand."

Idia groaned.

"Um, okay, so Y/N thinks you're a total cutie and would be happy to have you on their arm as a trophy husband."

Silver's cheeks turned a light pink.

"Oh…"

"Like, they prob. think you're submissive and-"

"Babygirl is like a princess! You're Y/N's princess!" Ortho cut in excitedly.

"I'm Y/N's princess…" Silver whispered, a slight smile on his face.

"Not exactly! It means Y/N wouldn't mind if you were their princess. Nothing is set in stone. I have a lot of bbg's, but I wouldn't necessarily settle down with any of them."

"I like the idea of being Y/N's princess…"

"Damn it, why am I rooting for this? It's too cute!" Idia groaned. 

"Hee hee, big brother also wants to be Y/N's princess…"

Idia's hair turned a bright red and he went catatonic.

….

"So that's why you booked out the kitchen this morning."

Ace stiffened, and turned from the Ramshackle door to "greet" Trey. He was startled to see Trey holding a tart.

"I had the kitchen all morning! When did you make that?" Ace asked in horror and despair.

Trey shrugged. "I always have a spare tart lying around, in case we have company. What's under the tin?" He nodded towards the dessert tin Ace was holding.

"My masterpiece," Ace grinned. The grin quickly fell. "Wait! Why are you here? You stole my idea!"

"The idea to bring food to a hungry prefect at lunchtime? While it's such an original idea for you to have, I didn't steal it from you," Trey sighed in irritation, attempting to step around Ace to the door. Ace blocked him.

"No. I was here first. I get to give Y/N treats."

"Ace, I beg you to reconsider."

"No!" Ace got in a defensive position that he used when playing basketball, then swatted the tart out of Trey's hands.

"What the hell!"

"There. I'm the only one with treats. As the Seven intended." Ace turned the door knob, but Trey started shoving him, and reaching for the door knob himself.

"I tried to be nice, but you've completely blown it."

"It's not nice to steal someone's idea!"

"It is literally 12:30. Everyone is eating right now. It's not an original idea!"

In the midst of the shoving back and forth, the door opened, revealing a very amused Ruggie.

"Shihihi, you both just saved me a trip."

He snatched the dessert tray and shut the door behind him. Both men froze in shock, and heard Ruggie yell,

"Y/N! I got us a treat!"

Ace elbowed Trey.

"Nice going, dumbass."

Trey raised an eyebrow and stared at Ace, who only at that moment remembered who he was talking to.

"I mean, that sucked, didn't it, Mister Vice Housewarden, sir?" He laughed nervously.

"Don't worry too much about it. I doodle suited it when he took it from you. Whatever it was will taste like sardines."

Trey walked away calmly as Ace stared in mixed awe and horror.

….

You and Kalim were walking to class together, when you noticed some scribbles on his hand.

"What's that?" You asked.

"Oh! It's a new thing I'm trying. You know how I'm trying to be more independent from Jamil, but I have a terrible memory? I'm just writing everything on my hand and arm!"

"Can you even read that? It looks all smudged!"

"Sure I can!" Kalim pulled up his sleeve, pointing to each word as he read aloud.

"Party, present, Grim, books, botany, secret, and snack."

"How is that helpful? What does any of that even mean?"

"Well party is, I'm throwing a party soon. Or I want to. Present and Grim, is because I want to give Grim a present at the party, because I heard he really likes presents. Books is so that I don't forget my textbooks, botany is because I have botany in an hour, and snack is because I'm hungry and might forget to eat!"

"Wow, okay, I guess that does help. But what is "secret" supposed to mean?"

"Oh! Right! Thanks for reminding me!" Kalim smiled happily. "There's something Jamil and I know that I'm not supposed to tell you."

"Oh?" Your curiosity definitely peaked. "And what aren't you supposed to tell me?"

"Let me double check," Kalim looked at his arm smudges, before gasping and laughing. "Nice try, it's a secret!" He said, pointing to secret on his arm.

You gave your best attempt at a flirty pout. "Couldn't you just tell me? I won't tell Jamil you told me. It can be our secret."

Kalim tilted his head thoughtfully, before nodding.

"Okay! So Grim has been-"

In moments, Jamil had body slammed Kalim to the ground.

"Kalim! I'm so sorry, I thought I saw an attacker."

"It's okay! It was an honest mistake,"Kalim smiled despite groaning in pain.

"We should go back to your room, just in case," Jamil said firmly, yanking Kalim to his feet, and away from you.

Jamil then turned to Kalim. "How many times do I have to explain this? You're lucky Grim is still even considering you, since you failed to show up to the interview. But you'll completely blow it if you tell Y/N! You'll never get another chance at Grim choosing you!"

"Right, I'm so sorry, I forgot," Kalim facepalmed. "Thanks for stopping me back there, Jamil."

"Anytime," Jamil smiled sweetly, "After all, I just want what's best for you."

….

Deep in the recesses of the Octavinelle Dorm, two random Octavinelle students are expressing their distaste…

"It's not fair! I'm Prince Rielle's first cousin! And Y/N's lab partner in Alchemy! We've actually gone on a date! Where does that cat monster get off not even considering me?"

"You think you got it bad?" The other student was tying his bow tie in the mirror, his anger evident on his face. "Y/N and I are in the newspaper club together. And I was about to ask them to be my significant other, when Grim showed up out of nowhere and told Y/N he "desperately needed their help with something." It's pathetic! The whole reason he chose us to sit in for those two other bachelors is because he knew how upset we were!"

"Absolutely disgusting. You know what?" The first student stood up. "The rat is in detention more often than not. He can't stop me from asking Y/N out!" 

"Me too!" The other student stood up as well, before giving a flirty smirk to his roommate. "This is going to be our best anniversary yet."

"Agreed," they grabbed each other's hands and opened the door, both startled to see Jade standing there with an eerie smile.

"Excellent timing. You both need to work an emergency shift in the lounge."

"Damn it"

"Fuck."

….

"Monsieur Fuzzball! I have arrived with a new batch of conditioner specially formulated for your luxurious fur!"

"Much obliged," Grim smirked as he took the goodie bag from Rook.

"And I have Roi du posion and my financial statements, as requested," he handed Grim a manila envelope.

"Thanks, I'll let you know once I've looked over everybody's."

Grim moved to leave, but Rook picked him up by the scruff of his neck.

"I would like to make something clear though. I am le chasseur d'amour.  I will hunt after the love of my life, whether I have your blessing or not," his eyes glittered with unbridled glee. "And should anyone stand in my way, I care not who they are. I shall act in a way that I see as fitting."

Grim's fur prickled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Rook laughed lightly. "Who's to say?"

He pressed a kiss to the top of Grim's head, then set him down.

"Sleep well, Monsieur Fuzzball!"

And with a flourish he left Grim alone.

….

Jack, Epel, and Deuce were on a run together. As they rounded a bend, they came up on Leona taking a nap.

"Housewarden," Jack greeted.

Leona opened a single eye, and groaned.

"You three look remarkably calm for people whose best friend is set to be betrothed soon."

All three of them stiffened.

Jack rubbed his hand on the back of his neck and looked off into the distance.

"Y/N doesn't care about money. Whoever Grim picks, I have no doubt that Y/N will turn down the relationship, unless they truly see a future with them, in which case, what will be will be."

Deuce bit his lip. "I'm not in the place for a relationship anyway…I want to get my degree and start my career before I try to support someone else."

"It's just dumb as hell, and Y/N's not gonna put up with it. And when it all comes to light, they'll turn to the only people who don't see them as an object to be purchased. An' I'll be there to scoop them into my arms and pick up the pieces," Epel said with a smirk.

Deuce and Jack stared at him.

"Oh please. You both were thinkin' it. I'm just the only one brave enough to say it!"

Leona smirked. "Well I hope that works out for you boys. Just know you won't even get the chance if I'm the one chosen. I know how to treat Y/N right."

He lounged back with a triumphant smile, and quickly fell back asleep, leaving the boys with torn expressions.

….

"Your majesty! It is always an honor for the queen of Pomefiore to pay us a visit. How many I be of service?" Azul asked Vil, who was gracefully seated in the chair across from his desk in the VIP room.

"I have already drawn up the contract, it just requires your signature," Vil hummed, pulling out a scroll that already had his signature on it.

"Simply put, I am asking you to step down from the running for Y/N's future husband, and to clear the way for my victory. You will notice," Vil pointed to a blank space in the contract, "the payment spot is blank. Upon completion of the contract you are able to fill in whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?"

"Money, product, fame, anything you can think of is yours."

Azul thoughtfully tapped his chin.

"I could have Vil Schoenheit as an unpaid spokesperson for my future restaurant chain for an undisclosed amount of time. The capital that would bring in would be unmatched."

Azul picked up the contract, and Vil smirked. Until Azul tore it into pieces.

"The name of the game is confidence, and insecurity is not a good look on you, my queen."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Vil snapped.

"You think I haven't noticed the fact that your hair is half a shade darker since that monster told you you might grow old?"

"You've misseen it, I assure you. My hair has always been this shade of blond," Vil hissed.

"It's very possible I have misseen," Azul pushed his glasses up his nose triumphantly, "but it would be impossible to "missee" the fact that we have had to up production on your facial moisturizer, because you are using it in higher quantities."

"I am not, I'm just stocking up!" Vil slammed the table as he stood.

"Let's face it, Schoenheit, I know what it looks like when someone has lost. One of us here has crumbled under the pressure, and I'll give you a hint. It's not me."

Vil glared at Azul heatedly, before turning on his heels and leaving the VIP room, slamming the door on his way out.

….

You had been reading a book on the couch, while Grim sorted through some papers. You were hoping, in your heart of hearts, that he was studying or doing his homework. Deep down, you knew that wasn't the case.

After some final rustling of papers, Grim said, "Alright, I've made my choice."

"For what?"

"Nothing, mwahahahahaha!" 

"Then why are you-"

"No reason!" He shouted. Then below his breath you heard, "mwahahaha…"

You sighed heavily.

"Am I going to get a bill for it?"

"No."

"Then I don't care."

Below his breath, he released another, "mwahahaha…"

....

Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @lleoll @eccedentesiast-sapphic @supertmntgirl @cxsmicdustdreams @aethermostbeloved @krystalkiller25 @asmallbean3 @theneurodivergentdummy @candlewitch-cryptic @smilingfox22-blog @phantomgaming1920 @the-dumber-scaramouche @a-small-tyrant @noidonothavetimeforthis @bontensbabygirl

[nothankyoudear]

I think it genuinely cannot be overstated how important that kiss in season 2 of Good Omens was.

From a plot standpoint, that kiss showed Crowley's desperate attempts to keep Aziraphale, to reel him in and back to the Us that they had built upon.

But from just a show standpoint, they. fucking. kissed.

Obviously their love transcends physicality, and Neil has said that Good Omens is a love story even before season 2, but the outright confirmation of a widely popular queer ship ON SCREEN is just so... Unheard of.

Every fandom or show has their trademark gay couple that aren't-really-gay-but-also-kind-of-are-gay: Merlin and Arthur, Sherlock and John (very heavy offender), Dean and Castiel (okay this one was canon, but we all know what happened IMMEDIATELY afterwards), and I suppose at some point Ineffable Husbands had just been included in the same category as the rest of them.

And to have it be moved from mostly fandom and fan work fuelled to outright canon - like 'they fucking kissed on screen' canon - is just so fucking fantastic.

It's not vague, it's not lines that are blurred for the sake of being on the fence of appealing to two audiences at once, and it's not only canon because the creator just said it's canon without rhyme or reason purely for the sake of appealing to a queer audience (looking at you, Ms J. K. Rowling) - it's undeniable, blatant evidence that Crowley and Aziraphale are in love.

And yes, at the moment it's devastating, but it's also devastatingly real. And that's so important.

Especially with the release of Our Flag Means Death, I really do hope we are entering a new era in mainstream media where queer ships finally aren't treated as some sort of mysterious prize that the writers dangle in front of you like a carrot on a stick, and are just simply treated like any other ship out there.

Because if so, then queer kids will be growing up to these shows, see this new era of unabashedly queer media, and won't have to hide away their ships like some dirty little secret. They won't have to wonder if their representation is even representation. They won't have to get excited over being able to see the small chance of themselves represented in a character only to be let down so incredibly badly, because queerness is good only when it's marketable.

So sure, ending season 2 like that is fucking crazy, but you know what's crazier? Whatever the fuck Neil just did with that kiss.

[hg-aneh]

Hi,ik I've been asking questions frequently but I'mma do it again bc I'm that petty;

In the AziraCrow relationship/marriage/or whatever. Who do u think is the housewife/husband? 😀

if we're talking about traditional gender roles applied to marriage ((which i believe would NOT apply to them in canon as they're both nonbinary supernatural beings)), i have to preface this by saying that i rlly don't agree with them as a concept

[if ppl choose to engage in them and not judge others for not doing so then good for them (idgaf akfbsjf)]

i hate that they're still being imposed onto people and that they haven't been left in the past for some contexts

i also want to clarify that the following """analysis""" I'm going to make is all for the sake of poking fun at gender roles and satirizing their entire existence.

Having said that, these are my headcanons:

Aziraphale-housewife, Crowley-husband

Why? Simply because husbands are fucking useless and I like to bully Crowley cuz he stinks and he sucks c0ck and b4-

I'm just goofing around 😭

In my little bubble world, they'd be neither (or both if you wanna see it from that POV)

Let's start with this:

If we take the definition of a traditional husband, which is basically "i work and do nothing else cuz I'm a man and men have their mommies i mean wives do everything for them" and take the Work part away, which is what we'd do if we were to place the ineffables in the south downs aka their retirement shack, then you get a useless fuck

And in reality, they both do jackshit (that's the whole premise of s1) so????? does that mean they're both husbands???

For further insight let's try to affirm Aziraphale is the housewife.

Aziraphale bakes, so he's probably a decent cook too; that's "housewife" material. He also happens to be very pretty and plump and a blonde, which I've been told are pretty ladylike things to be (/sarcasm)

(There are no pretty male blondes in ba sing se good omens)

He dresses in light, dainty clothing and talks with an accent only girls and women talk with, as well as getting his nails done and using make up for his magic act, and he says "please" and "thank you", which are things only women do (I'M BEING SARCASTIC. I'M BEING VERY SARCASTIC. god i hate gender rolesAAAA)

Now this is where the comparisons end cuz let's face it, Aziraphale is a lazy fuck.

You KNOW the bookshop smells like mold and he just miracles it clean every now and then.

He'd rather sit his plump (pretty) blond ass on the couch and read the day away than actually get to doing the baking and cooking or caring for the kids (plants) if it's not a hobby activity

Now let's do the opposite and try to affirm Crowley as the housewife.

He's clean (does the cleaning), he's of service when needed, he organizes when he's stressed (read the book), he- he drives a car...

OH SHIT. MAN ACTIVITY!!!!!🤯🤯🤯 (we're still being sarcastic here, it's not over EFJSJF)

In all seriousness though, trying to fit these two into gender roles, even as a joke is kinda difficult even in headcanon-land ajbfsnf

At least that's my opinion

For every traditionally "feminine" thing you have one of them do, the other outdoes that by a mile. And vice versa with the traditionally "masculine" things, like "being useless" and "car" /sarcasm is back.

So which one would be which? I think they're both dumbasses who fight over who gets to do what in the household (neither of them wants to do anything except for cuddling) and come up with an agreement to divide each chore :)

y'know, like normal people in a functional marriage (my parents lol)

[mia-ugly]

In honour of Good Omens Season 2

HAVE A SLOW SHOW FICLET with thanks to @weatheredlaw for the amazing graphic ❤️❤️❤️ how we doing fam

It’s a kid on set that first tells him. 

Not really a kid, but anyone less than thirty seems a kid to him these days (ugh, that’s a loathsome thought.) Jiyana’s a queer and pink-haired punk type, rainbow pin on their jacket, trans-pride flag tattooed on their inner wrist. The first time he met them, the whole wirey confident glittery thing made his gut clench with - what was it - joy and gratitude but also envy? Maybe? (because what must it be like to be that young and that certain of yourself? What must it be like to have the whole world open in front of you? Not that there still isn’t a lot of shit to deal with, and in Merry Old fucking England there is More Shit than Otherwise, but. Still. It’s something Crowley thinks about. Sometimes. When he hasn’t had enough sleep or when he’s had too much of it.)

The kid came up to him Day One to mumble about “being a big fan” and once they wore a Warlock t-shirt to an afterparty (“Vintage!” they said cheerily, and Crowley wanted to swallow his own face at the thought of something from the 2010s being considered vintage, good Christ.)

Anyway, Jiyana tells him first.

“Congrats on the new season!” They’re beside him in the makeup trailer. Crowley doesn’t realise they’re talking to him, assumes they’re wearing AirPods or something, until George gives him a nudge with the powder puff.

“Er, yeah, cheers.” It’s too early to talk to anyone this perky. Then his exhausted, coffee-less brain takes a moment to catch up with his exhausted, coffee-less mouth. “Er, wait, what?”

“Warlock. Heard it’s coming back. Did I tell you I wrote a paper on it in, like, Grade 10? So cool, the GSA at my highschool used to have watch parties, I can’t wait to see what they do with your -“

“Wait -“ Warlock? It’s been bloody years. “Where’d you hear this?”

The kid starts to list off some sites or social media whatsits that Crowley has never heard of, so he just nods and pretends to understand, the same way he does when Az’s niece tries to explain some show called “Jojo’s Big Adventure” or something. Validate, validate, empathise. Just like Pepper taught him.

It’s probably nothing right? A rumour.

But it’s a rumour Az has heard too.

When Crowley gets home that night (they’ve rented a house in Buckinghamshire, even though the studio’s not two hours from their cottage) Az is on him immediately. Heard about it from his sister apparently, who got the news from one of the kids.

“Isn’t that exciting?” His face is all lit up and his hair is wet, bathrobe snugly belted around his waist. The house has an indoor pool, and there are little indents on Avery’s nose where his extremely attractive and sexy swimming-goggles must have been resting.

Crowley presses his lips to each mark.

“Not that we’ve been going hungry or wanting for work –” Az continues.

“You work too bloody much,” Crowley murmurs into his cheekbone.

“But I do love those characters. The whole thing wrapped up so nicely though – what more is there to tell?  I wonder what the arc could possibly be.”

“I wonder what you’ve got on under this robe –”

“Anthony!” Az laughs in fake protest, tilting his head back so that Crowley can get his mouth on his throat. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Az tastes like chlorine, and maybe Crowley should join him in the shower after this. After a day in the studio, he could probably use it.

“Would you really want to do a series again?” Crowley asks after he’s finally let his husband go, turned to hang up his coat and thrown his bag on the nearest chair. “Awful lot of commitment. And you’ve that whole run at the Globe coming up, don’t rehearsals start in the spring?”

“We’ll have to see if Helen can mind the goats again while we’re in London.” Az has wandered into the kitchen, turned on the kettle. Crowley looks at the back of his neck (Crowley always looks at the back of his neck. Sometimes he dreams about it.) “If she’s free. I called her this morning to check in, Elmyra’s eating, so her anxiety must be getting better.”

“Cool, yeah,” Crowley says, casual and nonchalant and no big deal. As if Elmyra isn’t his favourite of the bunch and he doesn’t have a song that he made up and no one knows that he sings just to her. As if he didn’t hand feed her all night once because she wasn’t sleeping or eating and neither was he because he was so afraid this tiny rescue goat was going to starve to death, anyway whatever, super cool, who cares. “Is it weird that no one’s reached out to us, though? Do you think?”

“About the goats? Helen has my number –”

“No love, the Warlock thing.”

Az blinks at him, flutters his pretty blond lashes in an attractive, aggrieved sort of way. “You mean you haven’t heard from Beez?”

“I haven’t heard from anyone.”

“Oh.” Az thinks it over. “Well. Neither have I, actually. Do you – is that odd?”

“Maybe they’ve recast us with younger models.”

“They wouldn’t dare.”

“Gotta up the sex appeal of the whole thing. Jawlines. Cheekbones. Sexy results.”

“I –” Az goes a bit pink. Glances at Crowley and then away. “Fail to see how they could improve upon perfection.”

Crowley looks at his husband’s bathrobe and the slight scattering of silver chest hair and his hand on his tea cup and fuck off, his neck. His neck, his neck, who gives a shit about Warlock actually?

 “Come over here and say that to my mouth.”

Avery smiles, and sighs, and he does.

ONE YEAR LATER:

Crowley opens the email from Beez.

He fuckin' closes it.

[aziraphales-library]

Hey y'all, first off, thanks for the great work you're doing!

I'm looking for Aziracrow fics with like,, one of them as an FBI agent and the other as art consultant or something like that. I already checked if there's anything in a possible art heist tag, I also looked for crossovers with White Collar, which has a similar premise, and I didn't really find anything. Maybe there's nothing, but I thought maybe you'd have an idea :) Thank you!!

Hello! So, the best I can do is fics in which one of them works in law enforcement of some kind, and the other works in either a different department or completely different job, and they work together in some way. Hope this was the kind of thing you're after!...

Containing Seeds of Destruction by feathereddino (T)

Lower Tadfield is a rural, sleepy little village that is trying to be a town. The crimes that Police Constable A.J. Crowley usually responds to are mundane but never evil. His husband, police psychologist Dr. A.Z. Fell appreciates that their combined caseload reflects that banality. That all changes in 2008 with a call about an abandoned baby. Adam Young's surrender will spark a series of events that will impact their village, their careers, and their personal lives.

What Will Destroy You by EveningStarcatcher (E)

London, 1888 Police Inspector Aziraphale Fell forms an unlikely alliance with Reporter Anthony Crowley to investigate the Whitechapel Murders. Can they solve the mystery and stop the so called Ripper before he strikes again?

Tadfield's Finest by angelsnuffbox (E)

The sleepy town of Tadfield is thoroughly shaken by the arrival of DI Crowley. Where barely anything ever happened before, there is now a bustle of low grade criminal activity, and everyone knows where to point the blame. Gabriel thinks he's a bad omen for the town, many others are quick to agree. Meanwhile, Aziraphale from SOCO just thinks he's hot. Ridiculously so.

and salt the Earth behind you by sunrisesinthesuburbs (E)

Detective (well, Profiler actually, not that anyone seems to care) Aziraphale Fell should have dropped his one and only Criminal Informant the moment he realized he was already falling in love with the man. Alas, he's never had good ideas regarding his self-preservation: when Anthony Crowley calls, he always comes. He will always come. If this wasn't already very bad, his feelings are apparently reciprocated and, in the meantime, his unit has to catch the worst serial killer Washington D.C. has probably ever seen. Crowley has no intention of leaving Aziraphale to deal with this on his own; Aziraphale has no intention of letting Crowley do something stupid just for his sake. Ah, if only love could ever be something easy. “Sometimes I wish I’d met you in a park.” Crowley’s hands move lower, down, down until he reaches Aziraphale’s palms and intertwines their fingers. There isn’t a single chance this gesture can fall under the umbrella of ‘plausible deniability’. Though nothing about this sort of impromptu confession could. “A park, uh? Nice.” A squeeze. “I always imagine something like a library. Or a bookshop or, not sure, whatever place is full of books.”

For His Eyes Only by AFrenchFanWriter (M)

Anthony J. Crowley has been an MI6 spy for 10 years, completing successful mission after successful mission under the guidance of his quartermaster, Aziraphale Fell. But this life is starting to take its toll on him as he is getting older; and when, one day, his past comes back to haunt him, Crowley realizes that it might be time for him to hang up his gun and face all the things he has left unaddressed… (Yep, it is basically a James Bond/Q AU!)

On Espionage and Prophecy (or How to Accidentally, but Wholly, Fall in Love With a Soho Bookseller) by RockSaltAndRoll (E)

1941 is the London Blitz and the year that MI5 really comes into its own with the now infamous ‘double cross’ system. The service keep tabs on suspects, root out enemy agents and try to turn them into doubles. Anthony J Crowley is fucking great at this job. He can be sneaky, underhanded and damn ruthless but also charming and kind. It’s what makes him good at turning. Aziraphale is just a regular Soho bookseller who loves his shop and books and good food and wine when he’s approached by a woman claiming to be MI5, wanting to recruit him for espionage. The poor man is too trusting and gets the shock of his life when he’s approached by a charming but dangerous-looking man also claiming to be MI5. Crowley recruits Aziraphale to double cross a double crosser and Aziraphale takes to espionage like a duck to water. Danger, hijinks, and sex ensue.

- Mod D

[badaziraphaletakes]

I have some questions

Hi... Aziraphale had no way of going to hell in search of Crowley??????

Oh wait that's not a question, that's a statement. Lol nvmind.

And how would Azi even get him back out? Stop blaming her for what the heaven/hell apparatus is doing to Crowley and to her. (Y'know what, I'm gonna be referring to Azi as "she/her" in this post, because we all deserve more of that. So deal with it.) Do you think she hasn't been racking her brains trying to think of a way to save Crowley ever since the Fall, and even before that?

Also - If Aziraphale went to hell and got stuck there, she'd probably be forced to torture people and that's not cool. (She probably wouldn't get a job on earth like Crowley.) Whereas there is no evidence whatsoever that Aziraphale has to actively do harm as part of her current role on earth. There are very good reasons Crowley doesn't want her to go to hell / become a demon / whatever. He doesn't want Aziraphale to suffer the same moral injury that he has.

Also also - Aziraphale mouths "Crowley" instead of screaming it because she knows it'll only get them both in more trouble if heaven/hell finds out they have an acquaintanceship, let alone that they care about each other. As an ab*se survivor, it's one of the most painful moments in the series for me, seeing Aziraphale distraught and having to hide it.

Azi mouthing "Crowley" while frantically trying to keep a straight face is the equivalent of Charles immediately trying to run after Edwin. It's arguably even more loving, I'd say. Aziraphale loves Crowley so much that she saw her worst nightmare come true (or rather, didn't see it? you know what I mean lol) and still managed to keep her "We don't know each other" mask more or less intact. Utterly devastating. This was the ultimate test of her love for Crowley, and she passed it.

*** Side note: If Aziraphale behaved the way fans want to demand she behave, hell would have killed Crowley so many times already lmao. And then of course the fans would be blaming her for that instead. << Babygirl can't win. She's damned (ha) if she does and damned if she doesn't. ***

You can see the horror and terror and devastation in her eyes.

Here's a really good post about it:

But even if we didn't have that glimpse of her face at that moment... FUCK thinking Aziraphale wasn't worried about Crowley then. There is literally NO reason to assume she wasn't upset about seeing him dragged to hell to presumably be killed. (And yes, Azi knew hell was ab*sive and violent to Crowley, even back then. I'd argue she's known since NLT Uz. After all, she knows Crowley didn't "kill" the goats and the kids because he wanted to. She knows it was because hell made him do it.)

Also also also: She literally did go to hell to save Crowley, later on?

And wtf is wrong with what she wrote in her diary? "That was the last I was to see of Crowley for some time" is (so far as we know) a factual statement. She's writing about an upsetting experience. Journaling is a healthy coping technique. But apparently that's bad now lmao. (Not to mention there were so many things about that diary entry that were so blatantly weird that it's clear we can't take anything about Aziraphale's journals at face value anyway. But I guess we're just ignoring that.)

OH AND ONE MORE THING! That's "husband" or "wife" or "spouse" to you, not "friend"!

[alecscudder1987]

ive just had a thought. see ive been joking as much as the next person about the ineffable beurocracy getting their shit together after 3 dates while it took aziraphale and crowley since literally before time was invented BUT it's quite literally just privilege.

you saw the shot where aziraphale grabs crowley's shoulder just after beelzebub and gabriel declare their love--this level of visibility is unprecedented, and something he and crowley have never been able to afford. while they (and we) might have softened to not-gabriel throughout the season, the second gabriel is gabriel again, he uses his position and leaddrship weight as archangel to fuck right off with his beloved. which, good for him.

but to aziraphale and crowley, this is fucking bonkers information. they spent their entire existences compromising on their relationship in order to not...be compromised. and gabriel just up and speed-runs dating the enemy because the worst consequence he faces is getting fired. gabriel and beelzebub never face consequences for their relationship, so of course it goes off without a hitch. no one looking over your shoulder because you're the guy looking over everyone's shoulder.

while im thankful they fucked off to alpha centuri so i don't ever have to see gabriel's smug face again, i do wonder if the "going off together" is really the good relationship A & C ought to model. if it's a happy foil to miserable wee morag and her girlfriend from the minisodes, it's still not what i believe crowley and aziraphale are going to do.

they've spent all of time becoming increasingly codependent, and while that's fun and all for a while, crowley and aziraphale really need their little human mundanities. going on walks. getting dinner. going for a drive to blow off steam. their path is getting distinctly more human-looking, and i think someday they're going to have to reckon with the idea of letting other people into their lives.

to bring it back to my first point, i've just been thinking about WHY crowley and aziraphale are Like That, when we've been presented with a new couple who most certainly isn't, and it made me think about it in terms of power. they have leverage, but they built it for themselves by learning everything about earth their superiors didn't know, getting a leg up anywhere they can. gabriel and beezlebub don't need a leg up. they have it. they're stepping on your chest and brushing dust from their costs as you try to climb past the first stone.

you could also look at it like queer versus straight relationships. queer relationships are often by circumstance somewhat secretive and full of codes and longing glances and not-talking-about-your-feelings BECAUSE it might get you into trouble. straight relationships often don't have this problem (though they might have others relating to other intersecting & marginalized identities) so they can get straight away into the declaring it part.

TL;DR beezlebub and gabriel got hitched immidiately while it took crowley and aziraphale all of time to kiss because the ineffable beaurocracy has about a million times more power and a billion times less consequences for getting caught about it than the ineffable husbands do.

[ididit-allofit-foryou]

supernatural post simulator part 1

(part 2)

______

🚗 impala67 Follow

any1 have a good pie recipe? #hangry

😈 6669 Follow

pu$$y in bi0

🚗 impala67 Follow

fuck off crowley i know its u. i WILL report u for harassment

🐝 chassiscrack Follow

Dean…how do you know it’s him? The only post on the blog is a picture of his dick. 🤨

🚗 impala67 Follow

…how do U know its HIS dick ???

🐝 chassiscrack Follow

…dm me.

🌕 queen-of-moons Follow

trouble at the devil’s sacrament i see 👀👀

#the tea is PIPING

(6 notes)

🐺 were-inthe-pire Follow

turns out getting sucked dry by your absolute bear of a vampire husband during a full moon helps lessen the effects of the transformation!!! who woulda thought! ! (& i don’t just mean by his fangs 😉🤭)

🧛‍♂️ pire-inthe-were Follow

anything for you, darlin 🖤

🚗 impala67 Follow

get a room u 2

#(love yall)

(458 notes)

🔪 knife-lesbian-freak Follow

which weapon is best for decapitations, trying to prove a point

machete 🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦 50%

sword 🟦🟦🟦 30%

razor wire (??) 0%

saw 🟦🟦 20%

final results 247 votes

🔪 knife-lesbian-freak Follow

see @.lawboy ??? wtf were you thinking using fucking RAZOR WIRE???

💻 lawboy Follow

It was all I had available!! It was creative and resourceful!!

🔪 knife-lesbian-freak Follow

whatever. 🙄

#i will never let you live that down istg

(73 notes)

🏍️ bik3rbarbi3 Follow

are my dark circles and scars and daddy issues and mommy issues and blood stained clothes and swagless demeanor bewitching & charming you yet?

🌟 dreamscape Follow

yes <3

🏍️ bik3rbarbi3 Follow

kaia bb ily <3

🌟 dreamscape Follow

ily2 <3

#txt me when ur home from hunt #dnt 4get again pls i wry

(3 notes)

💻 lawboy Follow

Hey all! As requested, I have made a comprehensive ranking of Céline Dion’s discography, including explanations for each song’s placement! Full list below the cut. :)

—-read more—

🚗 impala67 Follow

heh finally fessing up 2 ur music tastes samantha?

🍀 luckofthe-eirish Follow

finally fessing up to wearing pink satin panties (and liking it), dean?

🚗 impala67 Follow

…😶

🍀 luckofthe-eirish Follow

>:)

#thanks for the intel cas

(17 notes)

✍️ farethewell-deactivated20201112

does anyone want to hear about my ocs 😇🙏

🚗 impala67 Follow

NO

💻 lawboy Follow

NO.

🐝 chassiscrack Follow

no. 🖕

🍀 luckofthe-eirish Follow

fuck off

🌟 dreamscape Follow

NO

🏍️ bik3rbarbi3 Follow

i will fucking skin you bitch

🌕 queen-of-moons Follow

NOPE.

👤 ap-hansolo Follow

i reactivated my account JUST to tell you to go fuck yourself @farethewell-deactivated20201119

#literally NO ONE CARES

(32 notes)

🌳 anna-conda Follow

I have a foolproof process for deconstructing cultush religious indoctrination. step 1: Be reincarnated as a different species. step 2: Remember your past life and be admitted to a psych ward. step 3: ….well. I'm still workshopping. I will get back to you on that.

(3 notes)

👁️ lobotomizer3000 Follow

@.chassiscrack YOU WILL LEARN TO OBEY YOUR SUPERIORS. I WILL NOT REST UNTIL YOU SUBMIT TO THE NATURAL ORDER.

🐝 chassiscrack Follow

@.staff wtf you said she was perma-banned

🚗 impala67 Follow

yeah @.staff do ur job holy shit

👁️ lobotomizer3000 Follow

@.chassiscrack UNBLOCK ME NOW OR FACE MY WRATH AND THAT OF HEAVEN.

(3 notes)

👼 ilikenougat Follow

hi :)

(4,849,499 notes)

[obsessivefreakandpartners]

Don't forget that Crowley gives big " don't you dare disrespect my wife" vibes about his love; For Aziraphale has been there with him since Crowley put the universe in motion as an angel and that never changed despite Crowley's fall, them becoming biblical enemies etc.

Loving Aziraphale has never been an easy task for various reasons, both external, internal and interpersonal ones. And it certainly isn't easy in the current timeline.

But his angel is the best thing that has ever happened to him, and their love is the only constant through and through.

When he walked away, he simply said "don't bother" but still waited outside in case Aziraphale had a change of heart, an epiphany or something. He was hurt, not offended.

They aren't just hot for each other, they LOVE each other FOR CENTURIES.

And Crowley won't just not love Azi or lose his protectiveness for him because his angel is being an idiot right now.

And Aziraphale won't stop thinking about Crowley for a moment; On the contrary, it will only grow stronger as he will miss him a lot ( and their kiss ) till they reunite again.

Never forget that Crowley is at his happiest when he is with Aziraphale; He jumpstarted the universe with his angel's help, sharing his joy with him when the nebula was created. Aziraphale really congratulated him with that cute big smile of his whereas heaven treated Crowley as just another employee; he did their bidding, and when he started to wonder about some questionable company policies, they threw him away, wiping out his memory, without recognising his vast contribution.

He had just fallen and was probably incredibly shaken but Aziraphale giving up his flaming sword for Adam and Eve made his whole face light up and laugh.

Over the years we see him becoming angrier, more cynical and distrusting with everyone else but with Aziraphale, he keeps getting softer and softer. Sometimes he acts like a whiney, grumpy fuck for a husband but is actually so grateful that Aziraphale always lets him complain and get it out of his system, not judging like everyone else does, and most importantly, *not leaving him*.

Because Aziraphale loves him just as much.

And Crowley would say some harsh words to people who bash the love of his life.

When Aziraphale died, Crowley got wasted. He talked about not wanting to become a demon. He basically says that the last million light years have been hellish for him, literally and metaphorically.

He didn't want to get kicked out of his home, rejected from his * birth family* but it happened and there's no going back. Ever since, life has been incredibly hard for him. And if it wasn't for Aziraphale, he would be completely lonely and lost.

And he knows that better than anyone else.

And he knows his love for Azi is much bigger than the sadness, the confusion, and the pain he feels right now.

He says to Nina and Maggie that they have been talking to each other for millions of years, that Aziraphale makes him laugh and that IT'S GREAT.

Crowley's situation and life sucks, but his time with Aziraphale IS GREAT. IT'S GREAT even if there's trouble they have to go through, because they are doing it TOGETHER.

And if his angel could not be physically present at times, Crowley's love for him, Crowley's memories of them, full of laughter were enough to give him strength.

Please, don't bash the love of his life. That would only destroy him more.

[hikarry]

Crowley's post-divorce assembled squad should be Nina and Anathema

No, they are not there to comfort him. They are there to give him shit and have drunk nights in his apartment while watching Golden Girls

Crowley: 6000 years! 6000 fucking years and all I get is an "I forgive you"?! He will see what he will need to forgive me for when I-

Nina: What? Storm Heaven and cause a scene?

Crowley:

Crowley: I could, if I wanted to

Anathema *snorts into her wine glass*: Right. You would have your ass handed to you in a silver platter

Crowley: You don't know what I'm capable of. I'm the fucking Serpent of Eden!

Nina: And so far that hasn't helped you much now, has it?

Anathema: Yeah, that little title of yours didn't make the angel stay, did it?

Crowley *downs the whole wine glass in one go*: Why do I even invite you guys over?

Nina: Because you are a depressed ancient supernatural entity that lost his only friend and we are the second best option

Crowley: Yeah yeah, and who's fault was that?! It was your stupid idea that fucked me!

Anathema: Technically Aziraphale probably would have left regardless if you confessed or not-

Crowley: Get out

Anathema: What if I do? *laughs* Will you call me again at 1 in the afternoon because you need "some witchy advice" but spend an hour complaining about your life instead?

Crowley *grabs a throw pillow*: Book girl, I'm warning you

Nina: Oh don't be ridiculous *grabs the pillow from his hand* Drink your wine and let's finish this episode. I need to work tomorrow

Anathema: And I need to go back to Tadfield to, you know, be with my husband

Crowley *grabs the pillow again and throws it against her face with a growl*

[avocado-writing]

"You're so very tempting..." - said Aziraphale to the xmass food lined up on the countertop

notes: anon how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person in my inbox at the moment

Crowley walks into your home, warm and welcoming as usual, but this time smelling pleasantly of Christmas spice. He also walks in to the sounds of enthusiastic muttering laced with… lust?

“You’re so very tempting…”

He raises an eyebrow to himself. Perhaps he is about to catch the two of you in the act. He quite enjoys that, actually - it feels sinful. Doubly so when you get him to join in. 

He opens the living room door and deflates a bit. 

Aziraphale’s head whips round from where he’s staring at the spread. Oh, right. You’re holding your work’s holiday buffet this year. The tables have been manoeuvred to the cosy front room and the food is laid out perfectly: vol-au-vents; canapés; every tiny finger food someone can think of. And Aziraphale is reaching towards it. 

He looks guilty. 

“Oh! Crowley, I didn’t realise you’d be —”

“Home so early?” he finishes, breezily. Aziraphale retracts his hand from where it’s been comically paused in midair. 

“Erm, yes. Lovely to see you my darling, I was just - ”

“Does our nightingale know you’re descending upon their hard work?”

Aziraphale tries to look offended. But mostly he looks like he’s been caught doing something he ought not to. 

“I just wanted one little crudité. One wouldn’t be missed…”

“Aziraphale. There is a sign.”

It’s true. You’ve left a large piece of paper blu-tacked above the table: AZIRAPHALE, DO NOT TOUCH. 

The angel sighs, utterly rumbled. 

“Oh alright. Just please… don’t dob me in?” he begs. Crowley hums thoughtfully. 

“Maybe you can convince me to keep quiet.”

Aziraphale gapes.

“Are you blackmailing me?”

“That’s a bit of a serious way to put it.”

“You’re my husband, Crowley!”

“Yes, so the ways of convincing I have in mind you’ll probably enjoy.”

Aziraphale shuts his mouth, thinks it over, and then lets Crowley have his wicked way. 

And when you get back from your emergency Prosecco run to the shops, you’re the one who ends up catching them. 

[lina-lovebug]

Why is there a roll in the oven?

Crowley x fem presenting! reader x Aziraphale

Background: you try and make a cute video revealing your pregnancy to your husbands but it goes wrong

_ _ _

You had it all ready.

Under the guise is getting something to pop in the oven for dinner, you went to the store to buy the usual groceries. Aziraphale wanted to join you, but you reminded him that he can't just close early.

Even if he never sold any books.

You quickly ran inside, bags in your hands but Crowley was in the kitchen. "Let me take those, love."

"No!" You shouted, stepping back.

"No. . .? Is everything alright?" You never rejected their help when bringing in anything, so this startled Crowley.

"Yes, yes. I just. . .don't want to ruin the surprise," you explained quickly, walking around him to place the bags on the counter top.

"Surprise?" His tone was suggestive, bringing heat to your face, "not that kind of surprise, Crowley."

He chuckled, the same smirk on his lips as he kissed the back of your neck sweetly. Crowley grew more touchy once your relationship blossomed. In public, his hands were always occupied by one on your waist and the other holding Aziraphales hand. Sometimes it alternated, but it was basically a warning to anyone looking. "Yes, they're both mine. Fuck off", was the statement.

"Oh and do let Azira know not to come into the kitchen. Thank you," You pressed a chaste kiss to your demon, who hummed before walking away with a smile.

The proposal was unexpected but sweet.

Having been together for years, Crowley and Aziraphale came up with a day entirely about you. They took you to your favorite bakery in France, went to the aquarium, dined at The Ritz for lunch and finally had a lovely dinner at home. Your favorite red candles were lit, the scent wafting through the air. Aziraphale started with a speech, pledging his eternal love for you. Crowley finished off by claiming how he felt undeserving of this kind of love, but loved you with his entire being and wouldn't have any other beings to spend his life with.

And they both proposed.

You cried - a lot, which initially worried them because "why isn't she saying yes???"

But you explained messily by saying you were planning to propose, pulling out a single box with two gold bands and inside carved "my heart, forevermore".

You all cried.

"Don't go into the kitchen, angel," Crowley put his hand on his shoulder as he came home for the day, hanging his coat on the rack.

"(Y/N) is planning a surprise."

"A surprise?" Aziraphale asked, "but it's not our anniversary. Oh, is it that strawberry cake we like?"

Crowley shrugged, "don't know, but she's serious about it."

After setting up the camera, an excited smile on your face, you set it to record.

"Azira!" You poked your head out, running to your angel before giving him a longing kiss. Aziraphale returned it happily, his hands setting themselves on your face.

"Someone's in a good mood," Aziraphales' voice dropped lower, which would usually send them into a spiral and beg him to use that voice in the bedroom.

But that was for later.

"Come, come," she ushered them both into the kitchen.

"Now, both of you, open the oven," she was grinning wildly, unable to contain her excitement.

"Both of us. . .?" Crowley questioned.

"Humor me, my love," she replied and her ineffable husbands obeyed, and stilled.

"(Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"Why is there a roll in the oven?" Crowley questioned.

"And why is it on fire?" Aziraphale added.

"Oh shit!" She cursed, running to grab one of the many fire extinguishers that Aziraphale insisted they needed after the shop caught fire.

"Shit, shit, shit!" She yelled, running back and immediately putting out the fire. But she didn't stop using it, even after the flames were clearly out.

"Flower, put it down."

"My dear, is everything alright?"

Her lips were brought into a frown as she sighed, eyes clouding with tears. They exchanged a worried glance before the first sob escaped.

"I-I wanted to make it special, but now. . .oh I forgot I turned it on for dinner," she hiccuped as they brought her in for a hug. Crowley stroked her hair whilst Aziraphale pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"It's okay, my love. We can order out," Aziraphale reassured but she sighed in frustration.

"No, no, it's not that. I. . .bun in the oven!"

"Bun in the oven?" Crowley repeated, confused.

"Bun in the. . .oven. . ." Aziraphale realized, looking at his wife with a growing smile. "You're pregnant?"

"Yes, I'm pregnant," you laughed gently as you tried to wipe the tears but Aziraphale began to cover your face in kisses. "Oh she's pregnant! Crowley, we're going to be fathers!"

"Crowley. . .?" You asked, not seeing a response from him. He took off his glasses, revealing a light sheen over his serpentine eyes before he kneeled down and leant his head against your stomach.

"I love you," he whispered, pressing a kiss against your stomach and looking up at you, "thank you, my love."

"And it's twins," you added, causing your celestial beings to look at eachother immediately.

"Is it. . .?"

"I don't know. . .I mean, it could be. . ."

But they didn't care in reality. All that mattered was that you were healthy, carrying twin babies, a bun that was preciously on fire and ordering takeout whilst relaxing with your husbands.