#LET ZENO DIE

[akaneenaka33]

Sweethearts ♡

They should be happy. Simply because. They deserve it. He deserves it. She deserves it. They should get to be happy and cuddle and hold hands and forehead touch and have a big wedding bc they're already married and have a family and grow old together because they never got the chance and it HURTS.

[fatedroses]

A bit of community service work to repay his third chance leads to Hien witnessing Zenos' own special brand of weird.

[mijukaze]

Banned from bringing bugs inside so she somehow brings something worse

[howaboutwedont]

i was so utterly shocked until i realised it was talking about they both die at the end 😭😭

but.... hear me out.... au where this DOES happen:

in s1 victor goes to save patricia instead of miss andrews because in this he thinks she's joy's osirian

so rufus steps out of the car first but victor doesnt come out yet (pun very much intended)

and instead he starts the car and starts coming towards rufus in an attempt to scare him so he like runs and gives victor a chance to rescue patricia

but in his desperation -and rufus' refusal to back down even though victor was sure he would- he accidentally runs him over

i feel like him dying would be too much here but also angst

so rufus dies and victor gets to keep the elixir and rescue the "osirian" (which is really gonna add insult to injury when he finds out) but he also has to live with the eternal guilt that comes with killing your nemesis who you may or may not have had a thing with in your youth

thats it. idk what this was

[uroborae]

viii. shed

And when the light returns;

when it bursts from the seams, splits flesh into gilded cracks and the ivory sludge she wretches onto the ground stains her lips, her skin;

it had expected this from the very start.

For an auspice should, juvenile though she is, understand the very fluctuations of its soul. Where her entire disposition could shift into cataclysm, a devastation upon which would threaten the safety of those it has come to consider as friends (fortunate though that its lifestyle was enough to keep the Aramitama at bay), Astraia had not left Hell's Kier until the very nature of that precarious balance was sufficiently understood.

So upon the first inception of light, where it had taken that blinding white into its soul, she had noticed the way it had bent to contain it. Noticed as it distorted when each Lightwarden was slain, each region cleansed from their burning corruption, as she contained the miasma within. That when Y'shtola could no longer see the truth of her, when they had raised arms against what should have been seen as an ally, Astraia knew this would be a fate from which it did not expect to return.

It does not say it knows what will be.

It pretends it does not see the way Y'shtola grows to worry.

So when Innocence falls, and it knows it has taken too much, for it was after Storge when it began to crack and splinter, it makes sure it is far enough from the others when it soul begins to break.

When it fails, and it collapses beneath the strain, and wonders if dying has always felt this painful.

Or if it has taunted and denied death so much that, now caught up with her, it has condemned it to punishment.

Its avatar tries to offer mercy, dams the corruption by way of darkness, but even as the aether that swathes it becomes a checkerboard of whites and blacks, Astraia does not think it can do much against the weight. For it is a poison that stretches into each crevice, tearing her apart from within.

She is unravelling. A sinner damned. This infernal light burns its blood, burns the flesh, and there is a point where it struggles to breathe. As though its lungs have hardened into marble and its veins turned to ash.

It must look a hallow horror.

Gaze blinded by the light that erupts from it, drowning the world in a violent pallid hue, it does not, cannot, look upon the faces of its friends. Can barely hear them as they speak. It wonders, hopes, they are prepared to deal with the aftermath of her. Clever that they are, the would find a solution to the light if they had not already.

There were worse ways to be a sacrifice.

Much less when the desire to die was so very strong.

She offers again a single soul to save a world, and hopes this time it might be the last. Where it would end their torment as the final of abominations, where they might finally be free

and the agony of its soul, this loss and anquish, might cease.

"The combined power of every Lightwarden is too terrible a burden for any one soul to bear." When the Exarch steps forward (having waited, no doubt, until this very moment) when no when else will, the sigh that leaves it is one of relief. To finally know end, even if he had used her to achieve salvation, before the light takes hold

"And so I shall relieve you of it."

only for him to claim its place when it is unable to do otherwise.

To deny this sacrifice it would make for them, for his name to join the many who had given up their lives for its sake already, those it had not been enough to save

And it is like he conspires to make it hate him, but he offers such poor deception. A resolution that betrays his lies, his attempts to become their villain fractures with every word, that its feeble attempts to stop him only embolden him further. A determination for a stranger that borders on irrational, a dedication when it would be so much easier to let her go —

The wind howls and rips the hood from his head

and it all makes sense

in the worst of ways it does,

for the words it speaks next are only of a hollow, haunted understanding.

"G'raha Tia."

SHED (verb.) cast or give off (light)

[impossible-rat-babies]

eyrie brings a certain level of “I have two canons” that I don’t really appreciate

[emathevampire]

Hello. It's me. Your friendly local villain enthusiast. I'm here to tell you to vote for Zenos. Why?

He's also a goddamn dragon.

AND A GODDAMN DEMON.

AND LITERALLY CROSSED THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE FOR YOU

JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO FUCK YOU UP SO BAD IT MAKES HIM LOOK STUPID

And, as if you needed any more reason, we KNOW Zenos would at least buy you dinner first. Midgardsormr? Has never taken me to dinner even once. Checkmate, ghostfuckers.

MOST FUCKABLE FF14 MAN ROUND 2

[aritsukemo]

Their partner wants to cook them a meal but they're a terrible cook. How do they react? | Multiple Characters

Fandoms Included: Naruto/Naruto Shippuden, The Case Study of Vanitas, Yona of the Dawn, Demon Slayer, Genshin Impact, Danganronpa, Assassination Classroom, and Your Turn To Die

Warnings: Small spoilers to Demon Slayer and Your Turn to Die and potentially other animes so read at your own risk!

A/N: I don't know when I'll have the time or motivation to write write anything so for a while, you guys may only see little headcanons like this.. Thank you all for your patience! <3

↪ Insists that they cook/Never lets you step into the kitchen/Talks their way out of it.

Whether it was due to their charismatic wording, a humble offer, or their own tricks and or distractions, they somehow steer you completely away from the kitchen and whether you two end up having a nice, lengthy chat while they prepare dinner, cuddle up to each other while you wait for takeout to arrive, or something else entirely, I'm confident when I say that the thought of cooking has completely vanished from your mind at that point, much to their ( and their stomach's ) happiness.

⇻ ITACHI UCHIHA, Haku, Minato Uzumaki, LOUIS DE SADE, ZENO, Jae-Ha, SOO-WON, Tetra, SHINOBU KOCHO, Kagaya Ubuyashiki, Yoriichi Tsugikuni, Hinatasuru, YELAN, ARLECCHINO, AYATO KAMISATO, Kazuha, ZHONGLI, Ningguang, KOKICHI OMA, CELESTE LUDENBURG, Karma Akabane, GAKUSHU ASANO, Yuma Isogai, Sou Hiyori ( Shin Tsukimi ), KEIJI SHINOGI, KAI SATOU

↪ Claims they're not hungry/Has a list of excuses up their sleeve.

Despite might've having just said that they were starving beyond belief, as soon as you offered to cook them a meal, they immediately go on to say how they mispoke; how they're actually stuffed and can't even begin to eat anything 'lest they wanted to pop like a balloon. If not that, they're quick to lie saying that they've already ordered takeout and how they wouldn't want to waste your amazing cooking nor their money. If that doesn't suffice, they'll come up with another excuse, and another, and another until you drop the topic all together and trusts me when I say that they will keep pulling excuses out of their ass until you give up.

⇻ KAKASHI HATAKE, Konan, Jiraiya, Ino Yamanaka, Vanitas, Olivier, Johann, DOMINIQUE DE SADE, Aoi Kanzaki, WRIOTHESLEY, VENTI, Ayaka Kamisato, XINGQIU, Ganyu, MAHIRU KOIZUMI, Hajime Hinata, Meg Kataoka, Tomohito Sugino, Reko Yabusame

↪ Can't lie to save their life and ends up sucking it up in the end.

Whether their faces gives them away or the fact that their excuse/lie was just god awful, you see right through it immediately and upon questioning them about it with that sad puppy-dog face, they sigh, shake their head, and say in a defeated tone, "I can't wait to taste whatever you cook.." watching as your face lights up and you lean in to kiss their cheek while telling them that'll you'll make sure to take extra special care of their meal. When you disappear into the kitchen, they start to pray, begging whatever superior being out there to either change your mind and decide to order takeout or that something prevents you from making their meal; example, the kitchen burning down.

⇻ Naruto Uzumaki, KANKURO, Gaara, Kisame, Deidara, KIBA INUZUKA, Tsunade, Roland Fortis, Jean-Jacques Chastel, Yona, KIJA, KAN TAE-JUN, AN RIRI, Ayura, TANJIRO KAMADO, Hakuji, Sucrose, Furina, MONA, GOROU, Ga Ming, Thoma, COLLEI, KAITO MOMOTA, Komaru Naegi, NAGISA SHIOTA, JOE TAZUNA

↪ Brutally honest/Puts themselves first.

Listen, as much as they care for and adore you, they care about their stomach just a little more. That said, when you come to them with the idea of cooking, they immediately shut you down, and whether they're as gentle and delicate as a flower about it or as harsh and cutthroat as the weapons they ( may ) wield, they'll ( maybe ) make it up to you somehow with riches, some form of their affection, or quality time. ( They may even allow you to cook! ..Under their careful supervision of course. Y'all can cook together! :D )

⇻ SHIKAMARU NARA, TenTen, NEJI HYUGA, Tobi, HIDAN, Konohamaru Sarutobi, SAI, KAKAZU, Dante, VERONICA DE SADE, Astolfo Granatum, Chloé d'Apchier, YUN, HAK, Kan Kyo-Ga, Abi, MICHIKATSU TSUGIKUNI, Muichiro Tokito, YUICHIRO TOKITO, WANDERER, SCARAMOUCHE, Albedo, Neuvillette, YAE MIKO, CHIORI, Chevreuse, ALHAITHAM, ROSARIA, Tighnari, BYAKUYA TOGAMI, Ibuki Mioda, Maki Harukawa

↪ Can't stand to hurt your feelings/Goes along with it.

When they see your eyes shine as you excitedly ramble about wanting to cook for them and all the dishes you'll make for them after the long day they've had, they just can't turn you down. You look so happy, so excited, all because you want to spend your valuable time making something for them, and even if the dish could kill a man, they'd be ( smart ) a fool to refuse your offer. So what if it's a little bland or a kinda ( very ) charred? They've been through worse. And besides, what's the worst that could happen ( You ended up nearly killing them with the first bite )

⇻ HINATA HYUGA, SHIZUNE, Asuma Sarutobi, NOÉ ARCHIVISTE, AMELIA RUTH, Jeanne, SHIN-AH, ZENITSU AGATSUMA, OBANAI IGURO, Sanemi Shinazugawa, MITSURI KANROJI, Kanao Tsuyuri, GENYA SHINAZUGAWA, Nilou, FREMINET, LAYLA, MIKA, NOELLE, THOMA, Yoimiya, Kirara, Sara Chidouin, Alice Yabusame, Q-Taro Burgerberg, RANMARU KAGEYAMA, MAKOTO NAEGI, Sakura Ogami, SHUICHI SAIHARA, NAGITO KOMEADA, GONTA GOKUHARA

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[picaroroboto]

For the past couple days, I've been unfortunately cursed with thinking about Zenos yae Galvus. I don't even particularly like him - not that I dislike him either, Zenosfuckers you can put your scythes down - but it seems to me like a lot of the fandom either greatly misunderstands him, or doesn't even care to try to understand him, which from an objective standpoint as someone who cares deeply about writing in video games kind of pisses me off. But I'm more pissed about the fact that I'm apparently going to keep thinking about this issue until I actually write a character analysis of him.

Q: "But, what even is there to analyze with him? Isn't he all about wanting to fight the WoL and nothing else?"

Well, you wouldn't be wrong with saying that. That motivation is at the forefront of his character, and even if you look closer, everything about him comes back to either "violence" or "lack of understanding of others". But there are more meaningful sides to his deceptively simple character. That question of meaning is what I really want to look into - what does his character mean, what symbolic or thematic role does he play in this story?

Q: "Better question: why are you posting this on your art blog/Fate meta sideblog?"

Good question, with a stupid answer: I have all of 6 followers on my FF14 sideblog, and around 150 here. Let's go under the cut so they don't have to read a wall of text, unless they want to.

When you look at and compare FF14's villains, you can see a very clear change, no doubts thanks to the change in main writers. ARR Gaius and Thordan are more or less two-bit villains - Gaius's memeable iconic Praetorium speech gives us insight into how fascists try to justify themselves but little into Gaius's actual personality, while all Thordan gets as far as depth of character is an NPC in a sidequest remarking that he wasn't always a bad person and was probably doing what he thought best for his nation. Nidhogg is a little more understandable, since revenge is a relatable motivation to anyone who's been hurt by others. In Stormblood, Zenos and Yotsuyu are both presented as deserving of pity even as they do terrible things. Come Shadowbringers and Endwalker though, the story takes a greater interest on why villains like Emet-Selch and Elidibus do the things they do, and the player is allowed more options to try to understand them and see how similar they are to the WoL. Hell, Hermes and the Endsinger are barely "villains" at all, with the level of sympathy the story shows them.

What I'm getting to here is that Zenos, with half his arc in Stormblood and the rest in Endwalker, is sort of caught in the middle of this shift. He played the role of the rival character in Stormblood really well, but come Endwalker, he's standing on a stage full of heroes and villains with grand causes and deep motivations, as the guy whose sole motivation is fighting for pleasure.

It seems he's not unaware of this contrast himself - when Jullus confronts him for ruining Garlemald for no good reason, he retorts with "Would you be happier had I a good reason?" Zenos makes no attempt to justify his own actions and doesn't care that his reason seems incomprehensible and unforgivable to others. Yet in that same cutscene Alisaie hits him with the fact that if he keeps living solely for pleasure, he'll die alone. When next we see Zenos, he's alone at the Royal Menagerie waxing philosophical about what he really sought in the battle with the WoL.

See, what really motivates Zenos isn't just the thrill of battle - this guy has gotten Battle High and the joy of human connection confused. Really.

Even before he gets so perturbed by the idea of dying alone, there's other suggestions, like his proposal of friendship to the WoL when they fought in Stormblood, and then later his dying words in which he explains that he never understood others - at his core, he's just lonely. I know there's an official side story that tells it, but you don't need to know the exact details to glean that he had some sort of tragic backstory. Sad, but not a surprise, considering he's the prince of the Garlean Empire, raised to take the throne and continue the Empire's legacy of violence.

At his core, he's a very lonely person, but also a thing of violence, raised using violent methods for the purpose of causing more violence. Violence is how he lives and breathes - the only way he gets any sort of connection with others in a world of hurting and being hurt is the brief connection warriors dueling as equals can sometimes find. Don't deny that this sort of connection exists - FF14 is great at making fights that are both fun and tell a story. Hence, why he goes crazy for the WoL, but also refers to them as "friend". In their fights, he senses (or thinks he senses) similarity between him and them. Beneath all the madness is a pure, genuine joy in seeing the self reflected in the other...but he also instantly gets on the train to projection-town, population Zenos, and assumes the WoL is exactly like him, ignoring or failing to notice that they also fight for deeper meanings. The worst part is, he doesn't even notice that what he's actually seeking in fighting them is connection until Alisaie's aforementioned callout.

So he goes and angsts for a while, then turns into a dragon again and flies across the universe to help us kick the Endsinger's tail feathers, then issues his challenge for that duel he'd been longing for. But what's changed is that he starts with a question - "Such pleasures you sought for their own sake, and for no other reason, is that not so?". Dying after the duel, he's full of questions too: "Was your life a gift or a burden? Did you find fulfillment?" Alisaie's suggestion that he'd die alone actually spurred him to realize what he actually sought in the WoL, and now he's asking all these questions in an attempt to, for the first time in his life, genuinely connect with another human being.

The questions aren't important just because they're a sign of how Zenos has changed in Endwalker - they're actually the thematic heart of Endwalker! ARR may have had "Answers" as it's theme, but EW is the expac of questions. Namely the biggest question of all: What is the meaning of life? Different characters have different answers to that, leading to the grand-scale symbolic conflict being the Endsinger's despair - her belief that there is no meaning in life - versus whatever reasons the WoL chooses to live for, left, as always, up to player interpretation.

When you look deeper, Zenos isn't actually as out-of-place in the symbolic conflict as he first seems. His depressed worldview - that metaphor about drowning in a swamp again - seems to align with the Endsinger's view about life being meaningless. But he aids the WoL in defeating her. In that way he serves as part of the answer to her question about the meaning of life. He may have resented life at times, but he still found meaning in chasing pleasure. Not the strongest or most beautiful reason to deny oblivion, perhaps, but it did enable him to help the WoL triumph. I think of Zenos's philosophy as being connected to the concept of "Amor Fati"...largely because this quote explaining it sounds like something he'd say, or at least agree with on some level:

"and if our soul has trembled with happiness and sounded like a harp string just once, all eternity was needed to produce this one event—and in this single moment of affirmation all eternity was called good, redeemed, justified, and affirmed."

So he does have a meaningful role in Endwalker, as the "Amor Fati" against the Endsinger's "Memento Mori". I think that in this the story shows that his reason for living, while somewhat shallow, is not necessarily a morally wrong thing in and of itself (setting aside for a second all the people he hurt in his pursuit of that). It's just that, since it is a lonely pursuit that denies everything except for his target, it still feels empty. The core of the counterargument against the Endsinger's despair is that both pleasure and fulfillment are necessary to live a meaningful life in a meaningless universe, and that's why Zenos is here in Endwalker. Why he even exists in the story in the first place.

Even if you're one of the people who deeply hates Zenos...well, you probably wouldn't have read this whole thing if you did, but I still think it's important to read into characters you dislike, because every character in a story is written for a reason. Plus, trying to understand even their worst enemies is one of the WoL's key traits as of ShB and EW. With his last breaths, Zenos was trying to understand the WoL too - carrying this understanding of him with you as we move into our next adventures is the least you can do for your "friend".

[sarmaril]

No actually I'm still hung up on it.

Zero's "a friend is a person your trust" revelation DIRECTLY followed by the WoL thinking about Zenos.

Zenos, whose feelings towards the WoL were so strong that they not only broke through Meteion's Ultimatium, carried the Warrior on his back, and then as he lay dying STILL had a strong enough sway over the dynamis in at the edge of everything to save the WoL's life, letting himself die at the end of it, their conversation ending with Zenos, through his final act, confessing that the only happiness he found in life was with someone that he didn't know how to love in a way that wasn't violent and selfish with a passion enough to tear the world apart.

"A friend is a person you trust" not to WoL, not ONLY at least, because they had a friendship that was not built on the foundation of a mutual trust, but on the foundation of challenge, and acceptance for the other as the broken, fascinating thing that they are.

My enemy, my friend.

[herohikara-wol]

Can you imagine Tank Duty Support Zenos- because I can!

Hero screaming at him because he KNOWS Zenos can see the AoE markers on the ground just like he can and he IGNORES THEM ON PURPOSE to make Hero do something other than spam Holy-

Hero: "IF YOU'RE GOING TO EAT SHIT USE YOUR FUCKING IGNORE DEATH ABILITY-"

Zenos: "MAKE ME MY BEAST!"

Alisaie: "I was wrong, this is so much more enjoyable when he's on our side." Preparing to LB2 behind both their backs.

Estinien: "I need a fucking drink-"

*"A TEST OF YOUR REFLEXES" followed by the sound a dodgeball makes when it hits you*

[rosazoldyckk]

𐬾𐬽Life with the Zoldyck family HC’s𐬾𐬽

Pairing: Yandere!Illumi X Kidnapped!Reader. Fandom: Hunter X Hunter. Genre: fluff?? Idk tbh. TW’s: mentioning of kidnapping, manipulation, violence and possessive nature. And Illumi.

Disclaimer: I posted this on my last tumblr account but it got deleted and I can’t get it back. So it will be posted here😅 this post got a lot of attention on my last account so if this post is recognised from anyone then I want to say this hasn’t been stolen and is my original work <3

684 words

Living with the Zoldyck family is scary..... and strange.

There was fear and the constant paranoia that you were going to die—either in the hands of Illumi himself or a member of his family, you didn't know which.

However, you have nothing to fear, Illumi, in his weird and creepy way, always finds a way to reassure you that as long as you love him (and only him) you have nothing to worry about!

Of course, it takes sometime to get used to the sinister and grim place—along with the unerving, and dark, humor some of the family members have. *cough* Milluki *cough*

Illumi, as well as the rest of the Zoldyck family, are well prepared to deal with your timid and skittish personality. 

Anything assassin related is kept to a low (demanded by Illumi) and you won't be exposed to any Nen until he feels as though you won't faint at the sight.

Surprisly, Illumi isn't as mean or harsh to you...but don't let that fool you. He is, without a doubt, a manipulator. The dark male could go two ways on how he treats you as you adjust to your new life.

Be submissive and accepting your fate will earn you more freedom (ie allowing you to accompany him and his family to social gatherings and being shown to the public. Heck, you might even be allowed to come along and watch him do is job, fun right?).

 Be difficult and distant...he will have his fun breaking you. You will be chained to him (literally) with no free will whatsoever.

  If you need to pee, he has to permit it. Oh? You're hungry? That's too bad! He's stuffed from dinner (in which you had to watch). Exhausted, my dear? Maybe you shouldn't have been a brat and you could sleep.

It depends on how you take it, but, eventually, you will start to love the male and he will bask in it.

Silvia and Zeno absolutely adore you. Zeno finding your "love story" with Illumi to be romantic as their parents and Silvia being glad that his eldest son has found a 'submissive' keeper. (Not like Illumi will ever let you go)

Kikyo however is pretty hard to get along with but she'll never seem to understand that. If she considers you an outsider still, then she is very cold and standoffish.

She'll even go as far as to try to chase you away with physical and verbal attacks. (Until Silvia intervenes at least)

It will become worse if she decides to treat you like family, she is very possessive of her children. So once she considers you good luck, contrats you have one protective and doting fan.

She will be a bit borderline creepy but hey that just means she likes you

Other than that, You get along with almost everyone in the house

almost everyone.

Milluki has a problem with you. 

Whether it's because he doesn't find you worthy of the Zoldycks' name or because he can't stand how caring and soft looking you are.

Maybe, it's because he has his own crush on you? 

Or perhaps he's upset because he can't play with the new toy? Either way, he finds you a useless nuisance and will make things difficult for you to adjust.

Mulling over the idea of Milluki having a crush on you, I can see him being a bit of a voyeur.

 Watching you and Illumi when you both indulge in sexual activities and sneaking peeks at you as you bath or sleep. 

He's jealous of his older brother and will eventually challenge him to a fight over you (of course that only happens when he manages to get close to you, which once again will be impossible). 

(And lets be honest would he really win against Illumi? I doubt it. But I bet it would be funny to see him fight haha)

All in all, living with the Zoldyck family is without a doubt overbearing and scary. But, be a good girl/boy and play along with Illumi and all will go smoothly. You will gain the families upmost respect and be treated like a member, and Illumi will treat you with the highest respect.

But be difficult and refuse to comply will only lead you with heartache and misery. Illumi won't hesitate to stick a couple needles into your head until you behave.

[wraith2700]

No because zeno's motivation for the last two thousand years was trying to free the dragons out of their misery, like I know he said that he himself wants to die but when hak asked if there isn't any other way that's what he said, the dragons were his priority.

Also I know the title of the chapter is "the friend who doesn't call our names" and I know Zeno doesn't call them by their names so he doesn't get attached but you can't convince me for one second that Zeno doesn't love the others with all his heart,

that he doesn't look at jaeha and think good for him for being freed from his village and finding people who he loves enough to use his powers for them, that he doesn't cover him with blankets when he is asleep and share the role of being the eldest sibling and taking care of the others,

That he doesn't look at kija and think good for him for achieving his dream and developing as person as well as a dragon, that he doesn't get rid of the insects that scare kija after teasing him a little and tell him stories of dragons of the older generations,

That he doesn't look at shin ah and think good for him for growing up to be a wonderful human being who made lots of friends and didn't let his powers get in the way, that he doesn't play with him games all the time just like he promised him when he was little and that Zeno doesn't teach shin ah all sort of things from the his time and tell ridiculous far fetched stories which shin ah totally believes

In short Zeno is not a villain and I will literally fight anyone who says so

[soo-won]

Letting go - Chapter 259

One thing this chapter makes me think about a lot is, what does "letting go" really mean? Is it something to absolutely aim for? and where does Hak position himself in relation to it today?

Hak is worried above all about the dragons right now, but we know well that he's also making a reference to his experience with Soo-won here. After all, even if Zeno did talk about forgetting them, he never said anything about "letting go" specifically. To let go is however very much something he said word for word about Soo-won in the past (chapter 153). If it wasn't already obvious enough, Hak in his turn makes the parallel between what happened with Soo-won and what is happening now with Zeno.

The end of chapter 153 hinted that even if Hak hasn't reached the point where he can let go of Soo-won yet, this is something that will eventually happen down the road thanks to Yona. And how can we not wish it for him? He suffers from it, it makes him angry, depressed, frustrated, it makes him grieve. Hak has always struggled from Soo-won's betrayal, he first tried to repress the feelings, then started walking a long road of trying to reconnect with and make sense of them, the present and their past together. He was slowly healing, he started being content with having a role in the sky tribe as long as the Yona and the hhb were with him. It was all for the best, everyone was walking in the same direction.

And then chapter 243 happened.

To be honest, when I read chapter 259 I couldn't help but have mixed feelings about this. After all, chapter 243 happened just one year ago, and this chapter devastated me like no story had ever before. This past year I thought hard about chapter 243, I tried to make sense of it in multiple ways and get over the devastation it made me go through. I also needed time, a lot of discussions with friends and the distance to see that yes, it is a chapter where both Soo-won and Hak are at their worst emotionally, and they both give up (among many other things but this isn't a ch243 post) but it won't be the end, it's them both failing to get out of this maze. But I just couldn't accept it. I felt angry. That Hak simply accepted how Soo-won, in a way, pushes him away again and the fact Soo-won will die, be replaced, and there is no hope for him. That he didn't contradict Soo-won saying the country will be fine without him, that this is their goodbye and it's over for them. That Hak will forget what they shared in chapter 61. That Hak is letting go and moving on.

So technically speaking I should be more than happy with chapter 259 and Hak saying he sucks at forgetting and letting go! But well, I got fond of chapter 243 with time. I spent so much time thinking and discussing about it, to engage with it, to question every line and to give them a meaning that slowly started to make more and more sense to me. It became precious to me. Yes I'm this dramatic over a single manga chapter but you have to understand the degree of emotional turmoil it made me go through, it was that bad! Anyway,

So when I read chapter 259, while I feel validated and relieved, I can't also can't help but think "But then, what was chapter 243 for?" What did it change in Soo-won and Hak's relationship? Does it not matter at all anymore because anyway Hak said sike and he actually just can't forget and let go? I can't accept this either. And I don't think that's the case.

And in a way, Hak did let go. But forgetting his dream of walking side by side with Soowon as his equal, on the same path, is different than forgetting Soowon whatsoever. Hak decides he won't remember it anymore and takes a different path. But what does it entail? What does he keep and embrace and what did he let go?

The vow of 10 years that tied Soo-won to the people following him, and the vow of 10 years that tied Hak to him. The formers cling to it, not taking into consideration Soo-won's true self and his ability to change. It chains him. It forces him to act not as his real self, but as the ideal image they project on him. They don't respect what the real Soowon wants, they try to make him the Soo-won that /they/ want. Soo-won changed from 10 years ago and corresponds to neither their ideal, neither Hak's. That's why it was so violent for Hak in 243. Hak couldn't see Soo-won's own circumstances, experience and current struggles and even less accept them. But in chapter 251, Hak doesn't let this vow chain them anymore, and in a way, that helped him gain confidence in the entirety of their history together instead of clinging into one aspect of it, no matter how precious it is to him. So I believe Hak needed chapter 243 to realize he was again projecting on Soo-won, and he needed to part ways to put things into perspective right now with the Zeno plot, so for that it's a good thing.

Still, when I put chapter 243 and 259 together, when Hak said he would forget his past vow to Soo-won and that there was no need to remember it anymore, I still think it was also him giving up, not having the strength to fight back because yeah, what can Hak or Soo-won even do about the Crimson Illness? Soo-won himself is convinced he will die, that he will be replaced and things will be perfectly fine without him, and so that he has to let go of Yona and Hak because what they want is the dragons, not him. He's not completely wrong, but this is not taking into account that both of them still care for Soo-won and want him to be there. That it's not about being replaceable or not, that they can care for the dragons and still want Soo-won to live for no other reason than because he is Soo-won. This is something Hak and Soo-won have both been struggling with since they said goodbye, and they are still coming to term in their own pace that they actually don't want things to end there.

Hak let go of his vow of walking by his side as his equal, but he still cares, he still can't forget, and he needed Yona to put it simply into words for him. It's okay to still feel conflicted, to carry contradictory feelings. What is undoubtely there is he wants him to live and to be there. That even apart, even when his priority is saving his friends and protecting Yona, Soo-won is still a part of him and he can't just erase him from his life. And it's fine. I don't think he should have to if ultimately putting things with Soo-won behind him, letting him go, hurts him so much. He deals with things differently than Yona and he doesn't have to do the same as her if that's not what is good to him. Yona shows that even after letting go of the hairpin, it still doesn't mean she can't think of Soo-won and wish for him to live. Letting go isn't erasing someone's existence from your life, it can just be taking a different path without tearing the bond apart.

But what this all makes me think about is, maybe letting go, in the sense of completely putting things behind them, is precisely the problem with Soo-won and Zeno. They're too good at it. We know they struggle to do it completely and honestly, but they are much better at killing their feelings than Hak, and they're able to at least act and pretend as if they were really letting go. What is so similar between Soo-won and Zeno besides betraying Yona and Hak to accomplish their respective goal and their tendency to hide their most unpleasant feelings, is that they are driven by the conviction that they have no other choice. Why does Soo-won discard people, his soldiers, prisoners, his friends? Because he doesn't believe in a path where he can keep them that wouldn't compromise the rest of the country. Before the coup, despite how much he longed for it, Soo-won couldn't believe a future with Yona and Hak by his side would ever be possible. So he gave up this dream, he acted with this fact in mind, he didn't try to pursue it. A self fulfilling prophecy. Chapter 243 was the same. And Zeno now is exactly the same as well. He doesn't believe in any other solution he could come up with together with Yona. He does what he does because if he doesn't, he is convinced he won't have another chance to be free and to end the cycle. Soo-won pretended the one they knew never existed, while Zeno pretends he already forgot them and that they should do the same.

They push them away, they tell themselves that Hak will protect Yona anyway and they will be fine without them. They let go, put an end to their bonds themselves in an (probably unconscious) attempt to have some agency on the end rather than to wait to be left behind.

But Yona's grip is strong, and despite everything Hak sucks at letting go. For their friends and for Soo-won and anyone on their path. And maybe it is important too to not let go. To be stubborn and selfish about it. To not leave anyone behind, to not avert your eyes from those in the shadows. Maybe "to let go" isn't something to wish for as an absolute solution to grief. Maybe letting go just brings more pain sometimes and is the killer of trying to fight for a better solution. Maybe there is worth in keeping what is precious to you close to your chest and fighting for it against all odds.

Honestly, as I write this I am not even sure of the answer. Zeno does deserve rest and to be allowed to go. And I can't tell if Hak will let go of Soo-won for good in the end. There is definitely a lot of good out of letting people and things go sometimes, even in Hak's case. It gives him the space to explore his feelings and come to term with them, and I don't expect him to live his life with anyone but the HHB. But all I feel is, surely, there is a better way to say goodbye. A way to say goodbye not out of resignation and despair. A way for them to listen to their hearts and be honest with their feelings. So I can only wait and keep faith for it, as I watch the characters slowly but surely try to change their fate and not submit to it.

[tenebriism]

" Special in that only I may bring you to your knees in battle. "

Someone needs therapy. " You seek to be my equal, but not on the level of my companions-- my other equals? You want to be special?"

[contentiousprince]

y'know. i like that Zenos died on his own terms. but also the fact that he gets the same resolution in endwalker that he does in stormblood kind of drives me insane. like in stormblood he gets to take his own life after achieving what he believed to be the greatest joy he could ever have.

but then in endwalker he gets so much more development, and while i absolutely love the fight with him at the end there, letting him die on his own just kind of validates what Alisaie said about him dying alone. which like if they wanted to show he was incapable of change because of being too far gone or whatever then fine, the community can fix it fanfic our way into giving him happiness, but he very clearly does react to Alisaie! he very clearly thinks about what she says, and his dialog before your fight with him really suggests that he's come away with at least a bit of a new perspective on the matter.

it just strikes me as odd to not just bring him back as a villain, but very explicitly someone who is neither hero nor villain, who at first works entirely selfishly for his own goals, but by the end he's helping you out and doesn't even make you fight him despite the being the reason he was selfishly going along with the whole plan to end the entire world in the first place!!!!!! and then after all of that, what has really meaningfully changed from stormblood?

Zenos is still dead, it being by your hands rather than his own i don't think really affects all that much. the wol probably got character development but i feel like it being for that sole reason is weird. Zenos learning, and even changing, just to be set right back to where he was before is just so weird to me.