#LET ME SAY RUMOUR YOU COWARDS

[ishipgenfics]

You stare, deciding to play dumb. Behind you, Jesus is ducking behind a potted plant. "Found him? Isn't it supposed to be, 'Would you like to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?"

The man in the front steps forward. "I suppose you might not have heard. There has been a rumor that Jesus Christ has returned, and we wanted to let him know to hurry it up with the Rapture." The man frowned. "We haven't seen any sinner being smote, and we're worried that some..." He looks you over-- blue-streaked close-cropped hair , skull rings and all-- and seems to reconsider whatever he was going to say, "some bad people might've gotten ahold of him. Or maybe he's just confused. So we're trying to find him."

You back up. "So, I'm pretty sure you're part of a cult, but I am WAY too tired to care. I have not seen Jesus Christ."

A younger man steps out, and begins trying to press a pamphlet in your hand. "In that case, would you like to convert and join the search--"

"I am Jewish. Please leave my house." You step back even further, and grab a hold of the doorknob.

One of the men opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him off before he can.

"Leave."

There is a moment of silence and then they walk away. With a sigh of relief, you slam the door, only realizing afterwards that you still have the pamphlet. Ah well, too late now.

Jesus-- because that's a fucking thing now Dear God-- collapses onto the couch. "They're gone?"

You sit down next to him. "Yeah, thank Christ."

Jesus looks at you oddly. "I don't know why you're thanking me, but you're welcome?"

You laugh. It's more high-pitched than usual. You think you might be going insane. "No, no, people use your name as a curse word now. Like Thank God."

Jesus flinches softly. "Right, okay." He buries his head in his hands. "Sure. That's a thing."

You edge closer to him, unsure of what to say. "Why are you scared of your own followers, anyway? Shouldn't they be like your people."

Jesus' head shoots up. "They are not my people," he growls.

You scoot away. "Okay, okay. Sorry. Please don't-- smite me or throw me in a lake of fire or something."

"No, no, I'm sorry-- a lake of what?"

You grin. "Oh, dear, haven't you ever read Revelations?"

"Reve- what?"

You pull up your phone, and begin scrolling. "Hang on a minute. I have some things to show you."

You open your door to find some religious looking people standing there. “Have you found our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?” You glance behind your door, where Jesus is shushing you.

[ch0k3herwithaseaview]

@jegulus-microfic | june 1 pride | words: 896

“Have you heard that Amelia ran into Regulus Black and Dorcas Meadows on the Astronomy Tower last night?”

“What? Is he cheating on Pandora then?”

“He’s with Pandora? I swear I saw him snogging Lily Evans in the library the other day.”

“Bullshit, she’s muggleborn; his parents would kill him if they found out!”

“Yeah, but he’s still Sirius’ brother, so he’s probably just as rebellious as him.”

Such conversations were everything Regulus could hear lately, as if his dating life were any of other people's business. He knew it was all made up, and he ignored them, even if they became louder and louder every day.

It wouldn’t bother him that much if he was a casanova who craved such rumours about himself. But he was not a casanova; he didn’t even care about women in that way; he much rather preferred men.

And that was the problem, wasn’t it? If he said it to anyone besides his friends, he would be eaten alive—first by his classmates, then by his family. Even if the wizarding world didn’t care about who was sleeping with whom, Regulus was still one of the heirs to The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black—of course, his coming out as gay would become the biggest scandal of the century.

All of this to say, he kept his mouth shut and let people talk shit about his love life so his everyday life was safe.

“You know,” James said one night, when they laid on Regulus’ bed cuddling. “If they’re bothering you, we could start some nasty rumour, like that you have chlamydia.” The younger boy chuckled at that.

“I think I’ll pass; I prefer them talking about me like I’m some kind of slag,” he replied softly, brushing hair from James’ forehead.

Regulus felt good and safe while with James. He wished he could feel like that all the time, but only the thought of holding his boyfriend’s hand in the corridor full of people made his guts turn.

So, he made peace with people talking about him. It might’ve been irritating, stupid, and untrue, but he preferred it over whatever would come after those people found out about his actual relationship.

It went on for most of his fifth year—in the daylight he would be presumed fuck boy who had every girl at Hogwarts in his bed; at night he became a little twink in love with the Gryffindor’s Golden Boy.

One day in June, during dinner, some older Slytherin girl waved at him to come to her.

“Go on, Reggie! I wonder what she would want from you,” Barty snickered, pushing Regulus in the girl’s direction. The funniest thing was that Barty knew about Regulus and James' relationship, but he still liked to put the younger boy in situations like this that only fueled the rumours.

He strode off, stopping when he reached her.

“Hello,” he said coldly, “can I help you with anything?”

“Hi, yes, actually,” she answered excitedly. “So, we were wondering which of Meadows, Rosier, and Evans you’re dating. Would you be a darling and clarify it for us?” She finished her question, obnoxiously batting her eyelashes. He didn’t even know her; why would he even want to clarify anything to her?

His eyes went to the other side of the room, spotting that lovely smile of his boyfriend’s. He wished he could point at James and say, ‘That one, I’m dating that one’. Oh, how he wished he could just—

A quiet voice in his head whispered, ‘The only one stopping you is yourself; just go’. He considered it for a second.

Ah, fuck it.

Regulus cleared his throat and looked at the girl with a mean smile. “Yes, actually, I could clarify it for you,” and with that, he turned on his heel and walked away in the direction of the Gryffindor’s tabel.

He could hear his heart pounding, feel his hand shaking a little, and his face turning red more and more with every step, but he wasn’t a coward; he wasn’t backing down now. When James turned his head in Regulus’ direction, his face went pale, like he was seeing a ghost. But Regulus still wasn’t backing down.

In no time, he reached the older boy and, without thinking, pulled him by the neck to kiss him thoroughly. And when their lips collided, it was like nothing else mattered. Even when James needed a second to register what was happening and relax, it was the best thing Regulus had ever felt. And when his boyfriend’s hand touched his cheek and the other one grabbed his thigh, the world around them collapsed, and there were only the two of them.

After another minute (or hour, who knows), they pulled away to get some air, and that’s when Regulus noticed it—James eyes were sparkling with so much love and pride that Regulus could only giggle like a lovesick eleven-year-old. In return, James chuckled softly, caressing the other’s cheek gently.

And then it got to Regulus what he just did. At first, he felt like he might be sick, but a second later, that quiet voice from earlier said, ‘Fuck it, you’re free now’.

And on that note, he looked up at the girl on the other side of the room and shouted, “Is it clear enough now?”

[sentientcave]

It's WIP Wednesday! Been a while since I posted one of these. Have some Victorian era romance that I've been writing instead of new chapters of the things you all actually want to read!

Something was going on.

A few weeks ago, there had been a long list of young men that wanted to dance with her. It was as if her feet hardly touched the ground when she was out, whirling between partners, pink and breathless by the end of each glittering evening.

Danny Galkin had shown up to one of the next parties with a black eye, and refused to so much as look at her, and he’d been one of her most frequent partners on the dance floor. There had been rumours he would make a courting request. More and more of her partners began to avoid her, until she was spending most of her time sitting to the side, left out.

And it should have been just the opposite. There were officers in town, and soldiers loved to dance with pretty girls.

She had to corner Johnny Mactavish (bruised high on his cheekbone, knuckles split) to get an answer. One of the soldiers had taken a fancy to her.

Riley.

“He’s tha one with the big purple bruise on his jaw. Ye’ll ken who I mean.” Johnny grinned. “Ye cannae say I dinnae give as good as I get, bonnie.”

She did know who Johnny meant, the moment she locked eyes with the stranger across the ballroom. Tall, broad, dark eyes that burned hot like coals. The purple bruise on his face was stark against a pale, freckled complexion, the red coat no benefit to either.

She marched up to him, fury propelling her forward, overriding common sense or the desire to not cause a scene. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

His eyes narrowed slightly. He looked down his broken-and-set-wrong nose at her. “Not ladylike to swear,” he said, voice gruff.

“My apologies. Who the fuck do you think you are?”

His lips twitched up on one side, eyes flicking for just a moment to a bystander who was whispering about the foul language. “Simon Riley.”

His attention was only off of her for a moment, but she missed the heat of it anyway. “Were you ever planning to ask me to dance, Simon Riley? Or is enough for you to scare off every other young man that might like to?”

He drained his glass and handed it off to someone nearby that looked both deeply offended and reluctant to say anything about it. “Olright. I’ll dance with you, birdie. Since you asked so nice.”

“Good. I was worried you were too much a coward.” She took his hand and pulled him to the dance floor.

The music started, and he pulled her into his arms.

And he never let go.

[lettersfromaphrodite]

[8.58]

― pairing : Chris x fem! reader ― content warnings : a tiny bit of angst, smut, fluff, vampire au, medieval settings, Chris is a vampire, soulmates au, mentions of blood, unprotected sex, fantasy au ― word count : 6.432

― notes : this fic looks familiar?it is! I’m reposting ALL my works on this brand new blog and therefore please, bear with me! as always, askbox is always open and feedbacks are always welcome 💌

🧛‍♂️ VAMPIRE! STRAY KIDS SERIES

Chris // Changbin // Jisung // Hyunjin // Seungmin // Minho // Felix

«I dare you to,» your friend pondered, before mumbling suggestively, «spend a night all alone at the haunted Manor.»

«What?!» you shrieked in disbelief as a chill ran down your spine at the mere mention of said house. The Forest Manor was a house surrounded in mystery; it didn’t look decadent, so it definitely had owners who looked after it, the gothic architecture gave it a mysterious and almost inaccessible aura and on top of this, the cases where people - blinded by courage, tried to enter the huge mansion were definitely not rare.

However, no one of them ever returned and so, through the years, numerous legends had been told: the most popular being about dangerous and thirsty vampires living in Forest Manor.

«You can refuse, if you want,» another one of your friends smirked mischievously, «but you will be called “coward” for the rest of your life.» they laughed, and your blood boiled.

If this was going to be your punishment for saying you believed in the existence of supernatural being, then you were going to accept it; screw your friends and their obnoxious and close mindset.

«Okay.» you simply said, clenching your fists together, trying to avoid acknowledging the fact that honestly, you were scared.

With your hands tightly gripping your skirt as your life depended on it, you walked through the most external part of the forest, ignoring the faint and frequent howls you heard not too distant from where you were, inevitably giving you chills.

“Why can’t I shut up,” you thought, trying to keep your breath even; walking alone in the dark through the forest was a terrifying experience, especially because - probably due to your fear, you had the feeling you heard steps every now and then. “I’m going to die in here, I know it.” you were about to trip in your dress, which unconventionally got stuck into a bundle of tree roots, and as you exasperatedly sighed at your own clumsiness and kneeled to untangle it, you could have sworn you heard someone chuckle just next to you.

Needless to say, you couldn’t see anything in the dark, and you finally regretted not to have brought a torch with you; it would have made you an easy target, but at least you could have been able to see something instead of letting your imagination run wild.

Probably, you spent hours wandering in the forest following the almost forgotten path that connected your village to the haunted Manor, but when you got there, no legend nor rumour could have prepared you for its singular beauty.

Rather than being centuries old, it seemed like it was merely a couple of years old, and you wondered whether you had walked on the wrong path; you carefully stepped out of the forest, and the threatening and dangerous aura made you froze in your tracks for a moment, almost making you feel like you were suffocating. You tensed up, feeling observed once again, your eyes rapidly scanning the iron gate and the stone wall running all around the house.

The Manor looked much bigger than you initially thought, and you wondered how many people could live in it; it was definitely too big for only one person. There was no sign of life inside; the lights were off, and the only source of light - beside the two small torches next to the iron gate, was the faint moonlight.

“I wonder, am I allowed to step closer?” you thought, and immediately, the threatening aura from the house seemed to vanish in thin air as soon as you took another step closer to the gate; you furrowed your brows, confused at what just happened. The feeling of being watched remained, but the tension and fear that you were feeling now were completely coming from your own soul; the Manor was now emitting an almost welcoming aura.

It was when you were about to touch the Manor’s gate that you stopped; what if someone really lived there? You could not trespass someone’s property like that, it wouldn’t be polite burst into someone’s house just because of a stupid bet.

With a sigh, you held your hand in mid-air, gradually retreating it until it was clutched against your chest once again; you made up your mind, you’d just climb on a tree and sleep there to be safe from the wolves, only to return in the morning and lie to your friends.

«Aw, leaving so soon?» someone near you chuckled, and you jolted your head towards your left in fear, not expecting for anyone to be there. A boy was looking at you with an amused smile and glimmering bright red eyes; he was sitting on the top of the stone wall, it being not too tall meant that the stranger was definitely a little bit too close to you.

«I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.» you politely bowed your head, nervousness momentarily paralyzing your body, and the stranger hummed, crossing his legs and partially balancing his weight on his left hand, so that he was leaning towards you.

«Someone dared you to come here, am I right?» he said, his head tilted on his side and his hair delicately falling on his face; from his annoyed - yet somehow amused, tone of voice, he was clearly used to this. A rush of embarrassment washed over you, realizing that you shouldn’t have accepted the bet in the first place.

«I’m sorry, I will be going.» you hastily said, turning around and starting to take your leave.

«The worst thing I could do is send a young lady back home in the middle of the night - while the wolves are on a hunt.» his voice made you stop in your tracks and you curiously looked at him. «And the house seemed to have accepted your presence already.» the stranger said while quickly glancing behind his shoulders; you furrowed your brows, before jolting forwards as you saw the boy purposely letting himself fall behind the wall.

Strangely enough, you didn’t hear any sound, meaning that the boy didn’t fall and hurt himself; in less than a second, he was standing in front of the now slightly opened gate with an unbothered expression and his clothes neatly in perfect order, utterly confusing you.

«Would you like to come in?» he offered you his gloved hand, and you were sure that as soon as your gaze locked with his from up close, your heart skipped a beat.

The boy - which introduced himself as Chris, was exceptionally handsome to the point that he almost looked inhuman; his pale complexion made him look ethereal, and his natural plump and rosy lips made him look like he just walked out one of the fairy-tale books you used to read when you were younger.

His eyes, however, were a bright crimson red, and the more you looked at him, the more you felt hypnotized with a weird feeling of recalling those warm, big eyes; it was definitely almost if-

«Have we already met before?» you mumbled more to yourself, but Chris heard you nonetheless; his eyes widened for a moment, before his expression turned incredibly soft for a few seconds.

«I’m afraid not,» he shook his head; you nodded at him, feeling silly because, if you ever met someone as handsome, you would have remembered for sure, «at least, not in this lifetime.» you thought you heard Chris mumble, but something in his sudden nostalgic expression made you refrain from asking further.

A sudden close howl interrupted the silence of the night, startling you and making you instinctively take a step towards Chris as if you were unconsciously looking for protection; you gently placed your hand in his and he smiled, leading you inside.

If you believed that the Manor looked huge from the outside, you were in for a big surprise; Chris led you through so many countless halls that at some point, you believed that the house was under a spell making it appear smaller on the outside.

Despite the fact that it was your first night visiting the Manor, you couldn’t help but feel a wave of nostalgic familiarity as you passed through a certain hall, which Chris simply skipped instead of leading you in it.

«Where does it lead?» you politely asked him, your gaze locking with a dark mahogany door.

«My personal chambers.» Chris simply explained, before starting to walk away; you nodded, not wanting to result too nosy since you were allowed to spend the night in a safe place instead of the woods.

However, the fact that Chris purposely avoided taking you there made you furrow your brows as a countless questions formed into your head; there were other people living with him, but he didn’t skip the hallways leading to their chambers, so why did he purposely avoid his?

«Don’t think too much about it,» Chris chuckled from next to you, successfully interrupting your thoughts, «maybe, one day, I’ll let you in.» you immediately adverted his gaze from his, suddenly finding his suggestion not so chaste and innocent, anymore.

Chris eventually led you to his study room, where he used to spend his time reading and researching about the most various things and so, that’s how you spent most of your night: sitting on two expensive armchairs next to each other while talking.

Something you couldn’t wrap your head on was the fact that Chris seemed so familiar, to you: the way he talked, the way he would gently lead you anywhere you wanted him to without ever letting go of your hand, the way he looked at you.

It was almost as if you knew him, but Chris had already said you never met before that night, so you decided that you probably should have stopped thinking about it.

Another thing that made you feel strange was the fact that you were indeed staying in a Manor supposedly inhabited by vampires, but you didn’t feel anything besides tranquillity and occasional nervousness, but the latter was completely because of Chris’ presence. From the moment he told you that you would have been safe, you believed him, and never doubted it ever again for the rest of the night.

The door of Chris’ studio opened without notice, slightly startling you, and a tall boy with blonde hair reaching his shoulders suddenly bursted in, looking distressed and definitely on a hurry; his eyes were a bright crimson red as well.

«Chris,» the boy said, apparently, he still didn’t took notice about the fact that you were in the room as well, «where are the necromancers? I have an issue afoot.»

«Hyunjin.» Chris simply answered, his stern tone completely different from the one he had been using with you; your eyes were still locked on Hyunjin, which immediately looked at you with wide eyes before his features eventually illuminated in a nice, friendly smile.

«Oh! You’re finally back!» he said, waving a hand towards you, which weakly waved at him as well, even if you were confused at his words.

«I’ll go ask Han, I bet he knows.» and with that, he left with the same hurry he invaded your small comfortable bubble.

Finally glancing at Chris, you couldn’t help but giggle about the fact that he was staring at the now closed door with an exasperated expression while he kept rubbing his temples.

«So, do necromancers exist as well?» you asked him, momentarily forgetting about the fact that Hyunjin just acted like you knew each other.

«As well?» Chris looked back at you, with a confused frown, and for an unknown reason, you decided to confess; after all, you were not the first one visiting the Forest Manor because of a bet, right?

«I said that I believed that supernatural beings exist,» you admitted, your gaze drifting to the numerous shelves filled with books adorning the walls, «my friends dared me to spend the night here, since rumours say it’s inherited by vampires.»

«And you believe in it?» Chris asked you with a gentle tone; you knew that, differently from your friends, he didn’t ask about it with the intention to judge you for your beliefs, and you also knew that common human people didn’t normally have bright red eyes. You shrugged, and Chris accepted your silent vague answer; despite the fact that he had so many things to tell you, he knew that it was still too early for that.

Eventually, somewhere during your talk, you drifted off to sleep, the vague feeling of a warm blanket being draped over you making you wake up for a second; you thought that your mind also registered the fact that Chris kissed the top of your head, but you weren’t sure.

«You’re alive?!» was the first thing you heard from your friends as soon as they saw you walk back into the village completely unharmed; you scoffed at them, before they started asking you a countless numbers of questions.

Of course, you didn’t say anything about Chris or your night, but simply said that a family lived there and gladly hosted you from the night.  

Since the first night you’ve been at the Forest Manor, your visits became pretty much frequent; if at first you went there during the night, you eventually ended up visiting during various times of the day. Needless to say, you did it in order to see Chris, which was absolutely happy anytime he saw you walking out the forest and towards the Manor.

Two months later, you were absolutely sure that you developed a crush for Chris; he was gentle, caring, mature, funny. Chris was definitely everything you were looking for in a man, and definitely no one in your village had ever made your heart race as he could. Sometimes, you had the feelings that your crush was reciprocated, but Chris kept acting neutral about it, still leading you around the Manor while politely holding your hand and, sometimes, not leaving it as soon as you reached your destination.

By now, you’ve met every one of the boys living with him, and the fact that every single one of them acted like Hyunjin when he first saw you, confused you to no end.

However, they never explained what they meant with their «We’ve missed you!» or «Chris is finally in a good mood now that you’re back.», and eventually, you dropped the topic.

Even if you wanted to know, you knew it was better not to be too insistent about it; despite the fact that they never confirmed it, you were almost completely sure that they were vampires, and even if they somehow considered you a friend, you knew better than to get on their nerves.

Strong arms partially held you up and you were instantly pulled towards a boy’s chest, which was holding you like you were made of crystal about to shatter in million pieces; you felt so weak that you couldn’t hold your head up, and the sound of the boy’s choked pleads interrupted by loud sobs made your heart clench in sorrow.

You knew you were dreaming, but even so, you couldn’t move as you pleased, you couldn’t do anything; it almost felt like you were remembering something from someone else’s life.

«Please,» the boy spoke, his voice sounding dangerously like Chris’, «I can’t lose you again.» even if you felt weaker each passing second, the only thing you wanted to do was to reach out and comfort the boy, which continued to cry while holding you up.

Eventually, he re-arranged your position, holding your head up in the crook of his neck as he held your body close like it was the last time. The feeling of his cold and gentle hands sliding from your cheek to your hair were the only thing you could feel, since the “you” in your dream still had her eyes closed.

«I’ll come back,» you heard yourself say, «I always do.» you felt hurt at your own words, knowing that any kind of pain the boy was going through, he didn’t deserve it; finally, you opened your eyes, looking up to see Chris’ shaking frame, his tears falling on your face as he repeatedly shook his head.

The crimson gentle eyes you were used to see were now wide and filled with desperation, and out the corner of your eye, you saw yourself weakly trying to lift your hand in order to wipe away his tears; however, you were too weak, and your hand fell back on your lap without managing to touch Chris’ ethereal features.

«Don’t go, not again.» he pleaded, «Not this time, not again.» he kept repeating, and as if you felt the “you” in your dream slowly dying, you felt yourself waking up in your own reality.

To say that you spent the whole day feeling distressed was an understatement; no matter what you did, you kept having strange glimpses of memories involving Chris that were definitely not yours. Or, were they?

Slowly, you spent your day re-arranging together the pieces you got: Chris seemed incredibly familiar and he acted as if he had known you for a while, his friends talked to you as if they had been waiting for you, you were the only human that was allowed to visit the Manor anytime she wanted, and now, you kept having random flashbacks about Chris. You were sure you were about to have a headache from thinking so hard, but you needed answers.

Contrarily to the other times you went to see Chris, this time you didn’t pay attention to your dress; you acted on instinct, your feet leading you towards the Manor, where you eventually found Chris sitting on top of the stone wall, exactly like the first night you met.

As soon as your eyes met, you were certain about your theory: Chris was your soulmate.

«How many times did you have to go through that?» you asked weakly, standing few steps away from him; Chris furrowed your brows in confusion, before his eyes eventually widened; in a blink of an eye, he was in front of you, his gloved hand ghosting over the outline of your jaw.

«I’m pretty old, by now I think I’ve lost count.» he admitted with a smile, and you felt your heart clench at his words; you felt angry at yourself – actually at your past selves, for being so selfish.

«I’m so sorry,» you mumbled weakly, before throwing yourself into Chris’ strong arms, the sensation foreign but yet so familiar; his arms circled your helpless frame, pulling your body close to his, «I’ve always been selfish, I’m sorry.» you were crying, your tears falling on Chris’ expensive shirt and your shoulders shaking.

«I always let you choose, and I always will.» he gently confessed, caressing your back and trying to help you calm down, «If you were to choose your human life again, I’ll wait for you and find you again.» despite the fact that in this life, you’ve known Chris for a little less than three months, you’ve never felt so loved.

That night, was the first time Chris let you into his bedroom, and you understood the reason why he never let you in the same moment he closed the door behind you; a wave of memories washed over you, consecutive fragments of moments spent with Chris. You felt your knees go weak, you were sure you would have fallen due to the intensity of it all, if it weren’t for Chris wrapping his arms around your waist.  

Chris was sitting on the bed now, his back resting against few pillow pressed against the headboard; you were sitting next to him but partially sideways, so that you could constantly look at him, your legs were thrown over his lap.

During all the time you spent at the Manor, both you and Chris kept a reasonable distance between the two of you, but since you somehow regained your memories, you wanted to keep him as close as possible. For the first time since you met, Chris had took off his leather gloves, his touch was as cold as ice and left shivers along your skin.

«I missed it.» he murmured, his eyes focused on the trail of goosebumps on your arms erupting anytime he ran his fingertips on your skin.

That night, Chris confessed everything to you; he was a vampire, and – confirming your theory, the two of you were soulmates. Somehow, he always managed to find you and every time, you always managed to fall in love with him; however, in the end, you’d always choose your human life, trusting the fact that you’d meet again.

Hesitantly, Chris answered to your question about the longest time he had to wait for you, saying that he was about to go crazy.

«Two hundred years are pretty long, I thought you wouldn’t reincarnate anymore, that I had lost you for good,» Chris’ gaze was unfocused, before he eventually erupted into a smile, «but then you walked out of the woods because of a bet.» you held his hands in a tight grip, aware that you couldn’t even imagine how much he had suffered because of your selfishness.

«You don’t deserve a soulmate like me.» you confessed, but he shook his head.

«What kind of soulmate would I be if I choose for you?» somewhere, deep in your soul, Chris’ words made you realize that maybe, this time you weren’t so afraid of living for eternity anymore.

«I’ve seen so many versions of you during the centuries,» he chuckled, distracting you from your thoughts, «It was like… seeing your adolescence’s stages.» you covered your face in embarrassment, asking him which one was the worst. «Oh, the vampire hunter definitely gave me a hard time.» Chris admitted with a sigh, recalling the time he had to physically fight you in order to defend himself.

«Did I hurt you?» you immediately asked, scooping closer to his frame, eager to listen to the things that you did in your previous lives.

Chris simply shook his head, looking at you with malice, «You got your memories back just in time.»

«During a fight? And how could that happen?» you scoffed, not believing to Chris’ words until you took notice of the emotions his eyes held; with extremely slow movements, he lifted his hand to your chin, his eyes repeatedly shifting from your eyes to your lips as he started inching closer. Judging by his sudden smug smile, you were sure that Chris could hear your heartbeat hammering in your chest, and you inched closer as well, meeting his lips halfway.

As you felt Chris’ full lips on yours, your head started to spin; you definitely couldn’t imagine that a wave of such intense emotion would fall over you as soon as you kissed him.

To you, his lips tasted like home, the familiar sense of security and love that had irremediably made you fall in love with him all over again, life after life.

To Chris, your lips tasted like a bittersweet déjà-vu; he’s had countless of first kisses with you, and he inevitably fell in love with each single different reincarnation of you, but still, you always ended up slipping away from his grasp. 

Chris’ hand moved on your nape in a swift, gentle movement, tilting your head just to deepen the kiss, as if he could kiss his own desperation away; he knew how the story would have gone, but nonetheless, he loved you enough to wait for you for eternity, if he needed.

Weakly gripping on the collar of his shirt, you sighed into the kiss, pulling Chris even further into you; even if you didn’t want to mention it, you kept having small flashes about your past lives, and so you wanted to keep on kissing him, just to know more about what you could not remember.

A hiss escaped your mouth as Chris unintentionally grazed your inner lip with one of his fangs, and you parted from him, finally taking him his appearance: not only Chris’ eyes seemed to glow a deeper shade of red now that he smelled a little droplet of blood, but also, his lips were slightly parted and his fangs were exposed.

However, the thing that completely felt your heart sink in your stomach, was the fact that Chris had signs of dried tears on his cheeks. Instantly, you reached out to gently cup his face, not caring about the fact that you were bleeding and he could have killed you, and Chris simply tightly closed his eyes.

«I’m sorry,» he sighed, «I thought you wouldn’t come back.» you hugged him without thinking, your eyes blankly staring at the wall.

You didn’t see Chris for the next week, since you were forced to stay in bed due to a sudden high fever. Strangely enough, anytime you slept, your dreams were composed by a strange mixture composed of memories about your past lives and memories about your present life, to the point where you couldn’t tell what was the truth and what was caused by your fever.

Forced to stay at home, you definitely had enough time to think about what were your intentions, and day after day, you managed to realize what you really wanted to do and so, on a Thursday morning, despite your fever wasn’t completely gone, you quickly washed up and dressed yourself, heading towards the Forest Manor.

«Where is Chris?» you asked Seungmin, which eyes immediately widened over the book he was busy reading.

«Uh,» he said, his gaze nervously shifting towards Minho, sitting next to him on the leather couch.

«There’s a new restaurant in town,» Minho said, covering up for Seungmin’s lack of explanation, «He and the others went there.» With a scoff, you put your hands on your hips, rage and jealousy bubbling up inside you.

«I came here with a fever telling him I was ready to stay and he goes around feeding on other girls?»

«Girls?» Seungmin questioned, furrowing his brows.

«You’re staying?!» Minho exclaimed at the same time, excitement evident in his voice; you plopped yourself on the leather chair in front of the two vampires, which were looking at you with two different emotions plastered on his face.

«I made up my mind.» you told Minho, which eagerly nodded, whispering a soft «I’m happy, then.»

«Isn’t he feeding from… the ones who works… you know…» you tried to be as eloquent as you could with a simple hand gesture. Of course, you were thinking about the worst option: brothels.

Deep inside, you knew that Chris would never do this to you, but in that very moment, your fever suggested you that it was the most plausible excuse. Seungmin eventually interrupted your thoughts with his contagious laugh, and Minho snorted.

«I can promise you he’s not. He’s the shame of our family,» he said, shaking his head, «He feeds from animals.»

«Oh!» you replied immediately, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment. «Of course, animals have blood as well… I'm… an idiot.» you muttered to yourself, but they heard you nonetheless, and did their best to chuckle without sounding too disrespectful. Despite that, you decided to wait for his return.

«Oi, we’re home-oh, hi!» Chris said, entering the living room, and your eyes locked with his lips, still faintly tainted red.

«Yeah, we’re going out.» both Minho and Seungmin said, walking towards the other boys now standing behind Chris. Hyunjin and Changbin looked at each other with furrowed brows, while Han and Jeongin were already on their way to come and sit next to you, happy about your presence in the Manor, claiming that everything was more enjoyable anytime you were around.

«But we just came back?» Felix questioned, and Minho quickly grabbed his forearm, not bothering to repeat himself.  

«You’re gonna be alone until tomorrow night.» Seungmin winked at you, before patting Chris’ on his shoulder and exiting the room along with the others.

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, you couldn’t bring yourself to meet Chris’ gaze, nor to bring up your decision.

The awkward nervousness you felt, eventually, completely disappeared as you and Chris changed for the night and laid together on his bed.

It wasn’t the first time you spent at the Manor, but now that you made up your mind, it definitely felt way more intimate. Chris was sitting on the bed, balancing himself with his left hand lazily spread out behind him, while his right hand was draped around your waist, pulling your chest flush to his; you were straddling him, the thin fabric of your night dress not leaving much to the imagination, its fabric pooled around your thighs and your arms gently cupping Chris’ cheeks.

«I need you, I-» Chris mumbled against your throat; despite his skin was cold, his kisses made you feel like you were burning up. His voice was extremely hoarse, and you deduced it was from his hunger. «I need your blood,» he said, his hand tightly gripping your waist with a strained whine, «I need you.» his voice was low, and his arms were holding your body impossibly close to his.

Despite the fact that you were sitting on top of Chris and he was occasionally glancing at you with eyes full of desire, you didn’t have the slightest trace of control over the situation.

With a breathless whimper, Chris’ hand slid inside your nightgown, tightly gripping on your thigh as you completely sat on his lap in a silent answer; now that you were completely pressed against his body, you could feel that he was already hard. You knew Chris loved you, you knew Chris desired you, but still, knowing that only you could reduce him in that state made you feel incredibly powerful; knotting your hand in his hair, you connected your lips at the same time you hesitantly grinded on him, swallowing with your mouth the surprised moan that escaped your lover’s lips.

Chris eagerly returned the kiss with fervour, and it quickly turned into a passionate make out session, your body shaking lightly anytime you felt Chris’ fangs graze on your skin.

«I want to be yours, Chris,» you murmured against his lips, as he effortlessly rolled you on the bed, so that he was on top of you.

«You already are,» he murmured back, tilting his head just enough to deepen your steamy kiss, his tongue making you momentarily forget about what you wanted to say.

«No, yours… yours.» you whimpered, unsure whether what you were saying had any sense, but, in the moment you felt Chris’ knee spreading your thighs and his full lips closing on your lower lip just to pull on it as his head drew back, you swore you were about to lose all the traces of sanity you had.

The thing was: earlier, you didn’t have enough courage to confess him that you wanted him to turn you, but somehow, the feeling of Chris’ erection pressed against your inner thigh made you think that it was definitely the best moment in the world to ask your boyfriend - which happened to be a vampire, to turn you into one as well.

It was like you could hear the imaginary gears inside Chris’ head spinning as he gradually slowed down the pace of his kisses. What were movements purely driven by lust were now once again gentle, unsure and tender movements.

«What are you asking about, exactly?» Chris asked, kiss lips in moving on the side of your  neck; you took a big sigh, circling his waist with your arms.

«I want to stay with you,» you confessed, unsure on which words you should use, «for eternity.»

Chris’ body tensed up, and he slowly pulled away from you in order to sit back up, balancing himself on his ankles, he run a hand through his already messy hair, before eventually caressing your thighs in a loving manner.

«Are you sure about what you’re asking?» Chris mumbled, his red crimson eyes burning into yours, and immediately you nodded, sitting up as well.

«I spent a lot of time thinking about it. I’ve been selfish, and yet, you still waited for me.» you explained, holding his gaze, «I don’t want you to suffer again, and I don’t want to be parted from you again.» Chris attentively listened to you, before eventually, his serious expression turned into a soft one, a gentle smile adorning his full lips.

«If that’s what you want,» Chris gently pushed on your shoulder, not enough to hurt but enough to make you fall back on the mattress, «Enjoy your last night as a human.» he gave you a sly smile, before ripping the fabric of your nightdress.

«What a show off.» your laugh was cut off by a surprised moan, as Chris’ lips closed around your nipple.

Chris spent the night worshipping your body; he made sure to kiss almost every millimetre on your skin, mumbling praises and confessions of love every now and then. You didn’t know how much time he spent with his head between your legs, but you were certain about the fact that you already came twice and your legs were shaking.

The feeling of his fingers and tongue working together to lead you towards another orgasm made you squirm both in anticipation and both in a slight different need. As much as you loved the feeling of Chris’ tongue repeatedly teasing your wetness, you kept growing impatient with the desire of feeling him buried inside you.  Chris’ lips harshly sucked on your clit as his fingers curled inside you, and another orgasm washed over you unexpectedly, your legs tensing up before weakly falling back on the bed.

«Can you come again?» Chris husky voice mumbled, kissing your now sweaty body all the way back to your lips; completely aware about the fact that you probably created a small pool of wetness under your lower half, you nodded, running your thumb over Chris’ plump lips and smearing the remaining proofs about the fact that you came not one, not two, but three times thanks to his tongue.

With a smile, Chris tilted his head enough to suck your thumb into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the digit as he aligned himself with your entrance before bottoming out with a single thrust. Chris head fell in the crook of your shoulder, and you were thankful your thumb wasn’t in his mouth anymore because you felt his jaw clench at the point it sounded almost painful.

«I missed you so much,» you heard him murmur on your skin, and you gently caressed his hair, kissing his temple as a doubt made its way in your head.

«Did you ever-»

«Don’t even think about finishing that sentence,» Chris cut your words, lifting his head up just enough to look at you in the eyes, «I could never lay with anyone else,» he mumbled, shaking his head, «I would never.»

Even if you already knew the answer to your silent doubt, hearing those words from him made you feel incredibly better, and incredibly loved. Chris had started moving his hips in a slow pace by now, clearly holding back and being too concerned trying not to hurt you by being too rough.

«Show me how much you missed me, then.» you said, lifting your hips to change the angle of his thrusts just to make him reach a little deeper than before, action which earned you a choked whimper from Chris.

«Good luck.» Chris scoffed, his crimson eyes burning into yours as he was re-adjusting his position; from the moment he started moving again, you completely lost the ability to think due to how good you were feeling.

The fact that vampires were faster than human beings definitely came in hand; Chris’ movements were passionate, his fingers were alternating between stimulating your clit and your breasts, and his lips continuously made sure to leave an intricate pattern of kisses along the expanse of skin within his reach.

Needless to say, you quickly approached your orgasm, and as Chris felt you clench around him and gradually tensing up, he slowed his pace, but kept stimulating your clit with his fingers, just to bite on the side of your neck as you finally came with a loud moan.

The sensation of an orgasm was per se intense, but the bite of a vampire, somehow, prolonged the sensation as long as they fed from you; you were gripping Chris’ back, your nails sinking into his skin and drawing deep red lines, before eventually, you lost consciousness because your neck was burning.

The first thing you noticed when you woke up, was Chris sitting on the bed next to you, quietly reading a book; you groaned, rolling on your side.

Despite your throat was burning as if you’ve never drank anything in your life, you also felt like your senses were heightened; you could hear what the boys were talking about from different part of the house, the sensation unusual but definitely something you could get used to.

With a quick movement, you swatted the book away from Chris’ hand, not caring about it flying on the floor, and placed your head on his thighs.

«Good morning, sunshine.» Chris chuckled at the fact that the first thing you did as soon as you woke up as a vampire, was cuddling on his side; his hand brushed your hair, and you hummed.

«Thirsty,» you croaked, ignoring the stinging sensation you felt in your lungs. Minho walked in the room few moments later, since he clearly heard what you said; he stopped on the doorway, holding to large glasses filled with blood in his hands.

«Oh my God,» he sighed, «You look dead.»

«Yeah?» you retorted, quickly sitting up in anticipation of finally drinking something, «Go look yourself in the mirror.»

«I fucking hate you.» Minho laughed, incredulous, and you could hear the others – which were curious about when you would wake up but they didn’t want to disturb you too much, laughing as well.

The moment when Chris held you tight to his body without having to measure his strength in fear to hurt you, you knew you made the right choice.

«I’m sorry it took me so much.» you confessed, eager to learn everything about your new life and eager about spending it with Chris.

«It was worth it.» you heard him whisper, followed by a content, soft sigh.

all works © lettersfromaphrodite

Do not modify, repost, translate or plagiarize my stories. I only publish my works on tumblr & AO3.

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[dsireland86]

Take Me First Chapter 2 (Never Know)

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 “Show me you're better off without me/ Choking on every word  you said, we'll see, we'll see /Don't breathe another word about/me I'll leave and you can finally rest in peace, we'll see”

Noah, By the time you read this, I'll be gone. You have to understand that it's better for both of us this way, if I just vanish from your life and wipe your slate, your consciousness completely clean. Once you're finished with this letter I guarantee you will hate me and just the thought of me or the sound of my name will make you cringe with disgust. It will become a bitter poison on your tongue. Those who are loyal to you will no longer be my family . None of you will ever want to breathe my name again let alone utter any words about me to anyone. I'm warning you now, Noah, what I'm about to tell you is going to ruin you.  It's going to break your heart so badly you're probably going to wish you were dead.  I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, but it's the only way. You have to know the truth about what happened during those three days in Montana on that last tour we were on together; you deserve to know, because it was the moment that everything changed for us.  You're better off without me, Noah, and in time you'll see. In time you'll be able to rest in peace.  

Noah:

“I didn't want to finish the letter. Knowing she was already gone was enough, and reading it, having it spelled out in front of me would’ve only made the gash in my heart worse. But I decided to finish anyway but regretted it instantly.  I swear I could feel myself slowly slipping away as her words began to bring out the worst in her."

I rested my forehead against the back of her shoulder. 

“I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must have been feeling. Being dumped, abandoned without any explanation is a horrible feeling. It can take someone’s mind to such a lonely place and destroy you.”

“You would know, wouldn't you,” I said while playing with her fingers. 

She leaned back against my chest while sitting between my legs. Turning her head at just the right angle she was able to glide the tip of her nose softly along my jawline and it filled me with a yearning of wanting to be inside her again. 

“Not like you do.” 

I shivered when her lips left a trail of soft kisses on my skin. 

“Read me more, please. I want to know everything,” she urged. 

I sighed, and even though I really didn't want to, I knew sharing this part of my life was important for us. So, I continued.

“Lying in between the memories choking me, and I don't know which way to go, but I'm okay to never know”

The night you told me the truth about cheating on me, it broke me, but not in the way you might think. I was angry, full of guilt, relief, sorrow, and regret that created a huge mess of emotions I didn’t know how to deal with. Running was my only option. I had to escape the pain of knowing how horribly I'd hurt you and you didn't even know it.  Noah, you were brave enough to be honest with me about what you did. You admitted your guilt and how ashamed it made you feel.  You truly believed you'd hurt me and watching the way it tore your mind and heart apart left me in agony. I wanted to tell you the truth then, but I just couldn't bring myself to, so I took the coward's way out and ran away.  I called Jolly and cried to him. He said he couldn’t understand anything I was saying let alone an idea of what I was talking about but he did his best to console me anyway.  The guilt I felt, knowing what I’d done to his best friend just made everything blur together and with the way I was driving I didn’t see the headlights of the other vehicle in my lane. Jolly was still on the phone when I screamed right before the collision happened. That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up in the hospital. So, what is the truth that was too hard for me to tell you even though I was given the chance to say many times? Noah, I hope you're sitting down, because what I'm about to say is going to be the death of whatever peace your mind had about me.

Noah:

“Noah?” Her soft voice calling to me made me lower my head and when her hand collided with my cheek, her touch brought me back to reality. 

The past wasn't real, but she was, and so was the feeling of her naked body against mine. Turning herself around so that her legs were on either side of me and her arms were resting on my shoulders, she leaned in and kissed me, slipping her tongue inside my mouth little by little.  She was making me so hard and I knew she could feel me between her legs, pressed tightly against that sweet soft spot of hers I loved so much.  I couldn’t control the constant twitching that was happening each time she purposely pushed herself into me either. 

“She knew exactly what she was doing to you and that’s what hurt the most. I'm sorry she hurt you,” her voice whispered in my ear before she took a little bit of it in her mouth. 

“Ughh, fuck baby,” I moaned, squeezing her hips tighter and tugging her closer to me. 

“That’s what happens,” she said, brushing her breast up against me, her perky nipples grazing across my skin, making it scream.  “You let people in and they destroy you. But I won’t.” 

She sat back and looked at me, the look in her eyes nearly making me cum. She had me wound up so tight that I swallowed hard when she pushed herself into me again and her warm, shaky breath washed over my face. 

“You deserve so much more than you believe you do, Noah.” 

Slipping her hands beneath the waistband of my box-briefs, I lifted my bottom up and she slid them down my legs, tossing them aside, retaking her spot over me. 

“I’ll give you the world, if you want it,” she admitted, laying her mouth on mine and taking my lips to hers as if she owned them; she did. 

“The moon, the fucking stars. Anything you ask, it’s yours. I’m yours. You can have all of me,” she confessed through a shaky, tear filled voice. 

I pulled her way to look at her and my heart felt like it had busted through my chest. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, but the prettiest smile on her lips. I sat up and kissed her tears away tasting their saltiness. 

“I want all of it,” I admitted, brushing some hair out of her face. 

“I want all of you, but not just what you let the world see. I want all the broken, busted up parts too; the parts that make you, you. I meant it when I said I would fight the battle for you. I would, I still will. If I have you, then you have all of me too.” 

She started to cry and I pulled her into me as she laid her head on my shoulder.  I fucking loved this girl in my arms more than I ever thought possible.  More than the girl in the letter, and that scared me because there was a time when I loved her more than anything. We were both quiet for a moment, resting in the quietness of our beating hearts. I was about to finish reading the letter, when her hand slipped down and around my cock, instantly making it hard.  Slowly she ran her hand down my shaft, then back up, the grip she had applying the perfect pressure needed to stimulate what I was dying for.  I laid my head back against the couch, focusing on nothing but the feeling of what her hand was doing. The faster she went the harder her grip became and reminded me of what being inside her felt like; heaven.  I found her entrance between her wet folds and easily slipped a finger inside her tight little pussy, taking the greatest pride in hearing her moan and melt into my touch. I felt her wetness coat my fingers, as I pumped them in and out of her as she clung to me. 

“Oh, holy fuck, I need to be inside you, now.” I ordered, but it sounded more like a plea. 

She didn't hesitate to obey but instead shifted enough so that her pussy was aligned perfectly with my hard length. 

“Noah, look at me,” she commanded and I listened to her.

Her eyes were vibrant and full of something indescribable, something that I could never put into words; but I felt it and I knew she did too. 

“I fucking love you.” 

It slipped out before I could stop myself and I was scared I crossed a line.  But her smile took that feeling away immediately. It was genuinely kind and made me feel the same way I felt when I first saw her. 

“I love you too; all of you.” 

She pushed into me and took all of me and I watched her expression change as soon as I filled her. Her tight, wet walls closed in on my throbbing cock now buried deep inside her, searching for that special spot that was going to pull all the pretty cries and moans from her that I loved to hear.  I gripped her hips, sighing once she began to move slowly, with her hands placed firmly on my chest. But I wanted more and I knew she did too. 

“I want you to grind on me, baby, ride me till you're satisfied. Ride me till you cum.” 

That seemed to be all she needed. Soon I had her crying and moaning so loudly that she dug her nails deep into my skin, squeezed me tighter with her thighs, and let my name fall from her lips like a sacred prayer.  It was beautiful. She was beautiful. She pulled my hands to her small breasts, indicating to me she wanted stimulation and I all too willing obliged her.  I took each nipple between my finger and thumb, squeezing them until she cried. Once hard and perky, I dragged my tongue lazily over the soft, delicate skin, circling and lapping every part until taking it in my mouth.  Her moans pulled my orgasm closer and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Luckily, I didn't have too. Her hands found the back of my head, holding me in place while she fucked me slow and gently and I got her off by sucking my favorite parts of her. 

“Noah, baby,” she didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't have to. 

I looked up, grinning at the face I saw. With eyes closed, she was in perfect ecstasy. 

“Are you gonna cum for me, Princess.” 

She didn't say anything, just moaned and nodded. 

“Cum for me then baby, let it go and give us both what we want.” 

Her lips crashed into mine and our tongues danced as she came undone all over me and I quickly followed. 

It wasn't loud, it wasn't messy; it was just us, falling apart for one another together quietly. It was love making in its purest form and in that moment with her I realized the difference between straight fucking with foreplay and making love and how they were very different.  We weren’t each other's first. She had a fucked up ex and I had many experiences that left me feeling used. But what she and I had just shared had so many emotions involved, ones that I didn't even know I could feel anymore.  She pulled them out of me somehow and allowed me to willingly feel what I had buried away. They were tangled together, knotted and rooted in the dirt of my past. But, thanks to the beautiful human in my arms, for the first time in my life I felt the difference and wasn't afraid to feel them. 

She made me feel so fucking alive and I loved it. 

“Speaking in languages we can’t read, no need for you to spell it out for me/ Swallowed up and I’ spit you out, like a drug that just wouldn’t stay down”

Montana was beautiful, Noah, and the idea of visiting it with you was a dream come true. I'll never forget when you came home and told me that it was on the list of states the band was playing. Your excitement was contagious and the way your eyes sparkled and lit up your entire face will forever haunt me.  It was one of the last times we were truly happy together. Those three days haunt me, Noah. They hold the worst, but also the best memories. 

So here it goes… the whole truth.

The first show day went smoothly; you remember I'm sure. We all went out and had a small celebration in that little country bar where Folio rode the mechanical bull until he bled… like seriously bled. I thought I was going to pass out from seeing all the blood from his arm.  The day of the second show, however, was utter chaos and hell. Everyone woke up late, the venue wasn't unlocked when we got there, and some of the equipment malfunctioned. You were miserable and because you were miserable, so was everyone else. 

I tried to help, but I felt like I was only making things worse. From the moment you yelled at me in front of everyone and the things you said out of frustration, I knew things were going to be different between us. It wasn't that you yelled at me, Noah, it was what you said that was the slap to my face.  You accused me of being selfish and too self conceited and centered to understand what you were going through, and you know what? You were right. I was, I am those things. And to prove I was, I decided to get back at you in my own way; the way I regret now more than anything. 

After storming out of the venue and turning my phone off, I found a bar away from the venue, away from every memory of you. I wanted you out of my head, but mostly out of my heart because I was hurting.  So, the first guy who sat next to me and bought me a few rounds was it. He was the one I chose to make my biggest mistake with. He took me back to his hotel room, which ironically was in the same hotel as ours, you were just one floor above me. 

I was too drunk to worry about anything, not even caring if the receptionist recognized me.  Noah, I will save you the details of what I did with that man in the hotel room that night. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be, and in the end he left me hurting way more than when I started out. Not just emotionally, but physically too.  Thankfully there were no marks on my body, yet, but the bruises would show the following day. I lied and said you did them to me and the look on your face was devastating. I felt like a piece of shit. Maybe I was. No, I know I was. I should burn in hell for what I did to you Noah. You didn't deserve it.  But the worst was yet to come when the events of the night you fucked some girl who wasn't me happened and you found out I was pregnant. Nicholas said at first you were too shocked, but when it was time for me to leave the hospital, Matt said it was all you could talk about; how you were going to be a dad and how you had so much faith that the baby would be the thing to tie us back together after your actions ruined us. 

It wasn't you who ruined us, Noah, it was me, but I couldn't tell you that. Not now. Not with a baby on the way. So, I kept my silence and avoided you as much as I could, using your cheating as the excuse. And I lied to you every day up until… well you know when.  Losing the baby was never, ever the intention, Noah, that, I promise, you can believe.  I never wanted any harm to come to my baby. But when I woke up last month at seventeen weeks pregnant in a pool of blood, I knew it was over. 

The lies could stop, the truth could come out and everything would be okay. Except it wasn't, was it? Losing the baby was too hard for you. It made you do things you regret doing and I regret watching, knowing I had the power to stop it all.  I know the feeling of loss is still very raw in your heart. You're wounded and reading this letter, knowing I'm long gone, soon to be nothing but a distant memory you'd do anything to forget, is going to throw salt on that wound, but I think it's time for me to help you put your demons to rest. 

Noah, the baby…. the baby was never yours to begin with. 

I mean, honestly, think back to the first time we had sex after that fight. Think…. and you'll remember. If you don't let me help. You wore a condom, Noah and you filled it, but I lied to you and told you it broke because I was scared.  The night I spitefully killed us in every way possible was the night I conceived another man's child.  So, you see, none of it was your fault after all, Noah. It was all mine all along.  Did I feel guilt? Yes. Remorse, no. Not until now. Now that I’m walking away from you, I feel every bit of remorse possible, but it’s too late now, isn’t it.  The you I knew and loved is gone and so is the girl you knew. And that’s the difference between us, Noah. You felt remorse and it made you so vulnerable.  I hope the next girl you fall in love with is good to you. 

I hope she is never afraid of your darkness or the demons who dance in your eyes sometimes. I remember the time when you thought no one could ever love you if you revealed what lurks inside you. You’ve always been different, Noah, you know that and how could anyone understand that?  But I hope she understands and is never afraid to follow you into your darkness so that she can learn to love the beast that’s inside. I tried to, but in the end I realized that sometimes, true love comes in the form of a loving demon, or a protective monster, or even a dark angel who sits and waits patiently for you to arrive.  You are all those things Noah; and I hated you for it. 

I’m sorry I hated you, because now I know that you were the only one to ever, truly love me. 

                                    With all my love, Always, Sarah

Noah:

I woke up, flat on my back, head off the pillow, but the blanket over top of me. As my vision cleared, Sophie was nowhere to be seen. My heart started pounding, thinking maybe she regretted last night; the things we did, the things I said. Was it all too much and she felt pressured or overwhelmed? My head was starting to panic. I ran my hands over my face, trying to convince myself everything was okay, but it didn't help. I sat up, looking around for my shirt only to remember that I'd used it on Sophie, making me remember the corner I threw it in; it was still there. I needed to find Sophie and make sure everything was good between us, especially now that she knew the truth about me and Sarah. I needed to know if she was still willing to commit herself to me, to us, with this kind of baggage attached, but first I needed a shower. My stomach suddenly hurt, the anxiety nipping away on the inside and it felt like there was a giant hole in me. I needed to fill that hole. I need my girl.

The story continues with the first chapter in the sequel “The Things We Could Never Change”.

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 9th of August, 2024

This is speculation only

Card drawn on the 9th of August, 2024

Question: How does Harry feel about his military service?

This is a one card reading

Note: I will come back to this question tomorrow, this is just to get a starting point.

Card Drawn: Death in reverse

Death in reverse means that you are resisting a necessary change or you are afraid of changing, you are repeating negative patterns, stagnation, decay, and so on.

The energy from this card is that Harry loved his time in the military and he does not want to let go of it. He is clinging to that past period in his life with everything he has. He doesn't want it to stay in the past; he wants it to be a part of his present life as well. He doesn't want to create a new image for himself, he wants to be 'Hero Harry' who is 'one of the lads' forever.

The negative patterns associated with his army days - alleged drug use, alleged partying Mon - Fri and then a few days on the base before partying again, alleged sexual harassment (at best) of female officers - these are patterns that he wants to repeat for the rest of his life. He has no intention of moving past them.

Death is the card for Scorpio, and the ruler of Scorpio is Pluto, and one of the things associated with Pluto and in a lesser way with Scorpio is obsession. Harry's feelings for his time in the army verge on obsession. It is not the work or the discipline that he likes and misses, but the glory - the medals, the uniform, the respect shown to him by others - that is what he wants back and wants to continue. I'm not getting any liking for army discipline, in fact I am getting the words 'it was a lazy life' which fits with the Bunker Harry rumours, but he definitely liked getting dressed in his uniform and parading around with his medals, he liked the respect he got from others as a veteran, and he loved the fact that he had a higher rank (in his mind) than Prince William.

I'm also getting an energy that says all the things Harry got in and out of the army as part of being the monarch's grandson - the medals, the wearing his uniform as events, the promotion to higher ranks as happens with all royals - Harry sees those things as things that he deserves and is entitled to because of his army service, unlike those royal family members who haven't seen active service. I think he expected to be promoted above all other members of the royal family who have not done active service.

There are two other energies that I am getting from this card.

Firstly, Death in reverse says to me that Harry never killed anyone while he was in the army. If that is true, then his 'kill count' that he boasted about in Spare was made up to make him look good in his own mind.

Secondly, the Death card can represent The King, who is a sun sign Scorpio. In the reverse, it says that The King is being overshadowed or diminished in some way. I think that Harry thinks that his army service makes him better than his father, because his father never saw active service and he did.

Underlying Energy: Strength in Reverse

Strength in reverse is a card about being weak in some area. It can be physical weakness, or it can be an inner weakness, such a a lack of self confidence or cowardice.

The energy of this card, and what underlies Harry clinging to his status as a military person, is - not self doubt, but something similar - I've forgotten the word - and cowardice. Harry hides behind the image of himself as a soldier to hide from the fact that at heart, he is a coward. He is the sort of person who would save himself first and then make up excuses for why he deserted his comrades. When he is treated as a Very Important Military Person, he can believe in the fantasy that he is a brave and heroic figure, like a child playing at being a hero.

Strength is the card for Leo, Leo is ruled by the Sun, and the Sun is ego. There is a lot of ego wrapped up in Harry's image of himself as a soldier, in a 'I am better than you' way. It is ego in its shadow, as the card is reversed - unbridled ego, ego without any restraint on it. The image in my mind is of Harry walking into a room dressed in his uniform and thinking 'yes, you all have to worship me because I'm a soldier'. I don't think he actually thinks that, but that is the size and state of his ego that is attached to the idea of 'Hero Harry', with uniforms and medals being an integral part of that image for him. He loved the attention that he got from being a soldier.

Conclusion:

Harry loved the attention, respect, and glory (medals and increasing rank) that he got as a military person. He wants to stay in that spot, as Hero Harry, forever. He is not willing to grow beyond his concept of this role or move into other stages of his life. In his mind, those were his glory days, and he is clinging to them for all he is worth. I think that at least part of his self image is based around the idea of himself as 'Hero Harry'.

[everythingdenied]

Concept matty and his longtime girlfriend laughing at rumours of him saying celebrities

oh yall are MESSYYY but i love you for it heheheh (sorry, I couldn't help myself. i had to a short little thing for this.) this is not a commentary on whatever tf is going on rn btw, if it's all true i honestly could not be happier for them both they're so cutiepie

"Babe?" I glanced up from my phone, a smirk toying on my lips as I watched Matty change for bed, his curls still a little damp from the shower. He hummed absentmindedly in response, pulling a hoodie over his head. "Why didn't you tell me we were breaking up?"

With his blue sweater still caught around his chin, Matty hastily turned on the balls of his feet to look at me as I reclined on our hotel bed, phone in hand.

"Huh?" He blanched, eyes narrowed in confusion whilst I continued to scroll down my timeline, giggling to myself at the nonsense tweets clogging up my feed.

It was nothing particularly new to me; watching new rumours about my boyfriend's love life unfold on the internet. In fact, after years of being together, I'd learned to find humour in all the nuance and speculation surrounding Matty and I's relationship, no longer feeling my heart drop to my stomach whenever a new rumour came to light. I knew he was mine, and I his; the internet's opinion mattered not to me. Albeit, I'd be lying if I didn't get a few good laughs out of it all.

"Oh, nothin'. Just something Twitter's saying." I waved my hand nonchalantly, smiling when Matty's brows furrowed and he scrambled onto the bed, crawling up beside me. He peered over my shoulder inquisitively. "Apparently you're dating Taylor now." I explained, turning my phone to give him a better view.

His eyes widened playfully as he read the tweets, grabbing the device from my hands. He exhaled through his nose, amused, languidly scrolling through post after post, unable to hide the laughter bubbling in his throat.

"So..." I cocked a brow, moving to straddle Matty's hips as his eyes remained glued to my phone. "When were you going to tell me? Just gonna let me find out from people on Twitter again, huh?"

"Sorry, angel" He smirked brushing his thumb over my left hip before discarded the phone on the bed. "Been so busy with tour lately. Must have slipped my mind"

"Mhm. Always the same" I rolled my eyes teasingly, fingers running through his damp curls. "You never bother to tell me we're over, just let twitter do it for you. Coward"

Matty burst out laughing, cold hands travelling beneath the hem of my T-shirt.

"Rude" He huffed, swatting my ass playfully as I let out a squeal, wriggling away from his touch.

"What?" I giggled, leaning down to plant a kiss atop his nose. "It's true. S'okay though. I don't blame you. I'd break up with you for Taylor in a heartbeat too."

Upon my words, Matty gasped, clutching his hands to his chest in a dramatic display of feigned offence. "You wound me, baby" He whimpered, soon breaking his facade to burst into fits of laughter. "No wonder I'm always breaking up with you every other month."

[hcfiles]

Is it just me or the last four years have shown we are maybe on the right path when it comes to some things concerning Henry Cavill? His lack of response and the latest attitudes endorses some rumours. It is as if he couldn't deny them and has been afraid of having more tea coming out.

Since this started with the first pap walk, followed by the ridiculous chess post and those pathetic Kal walks with his promiscuous, this guy hasn't done a thing to defend himself from even serious allegations and accusations. He just stood there playing the muppet in this shenanigan, while ashamed, feeling miserable, contributing to the destruction of the image he took years to build and working as her escort and coach. It's endorsing what people are saying about him.

You know the drill. "Whoever remains silent, consents". And things have happened as if he had no guidance, nor advice, as if he has been making stupid decisions over and over on his own. But, we know there is an unprofessional, amateur or very, very narcissistic and immoral management behind this.

Instead of showing fans some kind of position that would end all those rumours and theories, he (???) put more fuel to the fire and exposed his promiscuous to public execration, starting with the FO post and gaslighted his fans abusively. Someone clearly wanted the fuss.

This was intentional. But, for what? They obviously have an agenda with a goal that was clearly not achieved and the fate had to be postponed. Because, if not, that means they are f**king lost, have no clue on how to put an end to it and decided to gain time and use this circus on his behalf (worst decision).

Meanwhile, he, idiotically, teases and mocks his fandom with this farce, jeopardizing his integrity, while playing the dude. Apparently the baby belly and fake paternity were the apex they could think of, initially not having the intention to continue with this shenanigan by using the engagement announcement and a real baby, for example.

But, it turns out that, after so many lies, so many staged appearances, so much effort in teasing, mocking and gaslighting his fans, after intentionally motivating hate on the internet against his promiscuous and among fans to save his ass, putting them against each other, all he managed to prove is that he is a jerk, a dude and that some of the rumours are probably based on some truth.

On the first sign of bad publicity because of his stupid decisions and fates, he hides as a coward behind his immoral team, after trying to go against his fans by pointing fingers and accusing them of his own wrong doing. What a hero! What a God!

He never ever faced it. He never ever denied it. He never ever clearly and firmly took a stand in relation to it. He never took accountability for his responsibilities. Instead, he decided to leave that to others, while letting it loose. That's not how a man stands for himself. That's how a child, who did something really wrong, acts. That's how a weak Character afraid of assuming responsibility acts.

But, they are trying to make believe the PR stunt is inevitable, so as to justify his stupidity in allowing his incompetent team to put him into this trap. All they have been doing is to tease fans, so they can have, from them, ideas for their next fake narratives. 'Cause they are lost, screwed and can't get out of this mess.

[tosahobi-if]

Rumour has it that a usually very kind, gentle, and patient MC has been seen going mad and striking someone - how would the ROs react to this information? And how would they react after finding out that the MC did that because said "someone" had besmirched the RO's honour?

jinwol would hear about it and go “oh no… anyways!” he genuinely wouldn’t believe anyone without hearing the mc’s side first and if they didn’t bring it up to him it’s probably for good reason. once he learned why he’d definitely go and thank the mc but tell them they don’t need to do that for him — even if he is extraordinarily paranoid about how people perceive him, he’d rather the mc just ignore people badmouthing him than put themself in danger.

yul wouldn’t care if the mc killed a guy LOL punching someone is nothing. i think they’d be more concerned that someone drove them to that state and once they found out that it was for them they’d be very flattered and all “you did that for me 🥹?” i also do think they’d tell the mc to not even touch trash like that in the future but they’d still be privately happy that the mc cares about them that much.

iseul would march right up to the mc and ask them what happened instead of jumping to conclusions. if the mc explained it was for her, she’d tell them not to waste their energy on idiots like that. if they don’t even have the guts to say it to her face you should try to let it slide too — cowards like those never have anything worthwhile to say. besides, she’d much rather be insulted than let the mc put themself at risk like that.

??? is so used to hearing all manner of things about themself that they wouldn’t even care if they heard a rumor like that. unless the mc brought it up to them i doubt they’d even investigate it. once they learned it was for them they’d probably be confused at first because they’ve become so conditioned to letting comments about them slide. they’d probably say something like “don’t act so rashly in the future” and flick the mc in the forehead (but their ears are red so who are they trying to fool HAHAHA)

[elisysd]

4. Vultures spinning up above for what's left of me

Masterlist - Previously - Next

It was a nightmare. It couldn’t be true. Ethan felt like living in a haze, he could feel his heart beating loudly as if it wanted to jump out of his chest. He wanted to throw up. He had always been careful and responsible. It couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t. It was impossible. He was trying to remember who that girl was but he had no idea. There came a time when, for him, all girls looked alike. Did it make him look like an insensitive asshole? Maybe. Did he care? A part of him did. A tiny, tiny, little part. But a part that was not big enough to make him want to change. It was not his fault if girls came to him and flirted. Who was he to refuse the attention? But he had always been clear with them. They shouldn’t expect anything else from him other than a good night of sex. That was it. He didn’t have anything else to offer. His job was too important for him to throw it all away for a girl. He didn’t know how to love someone, nor did he want to learn. It was just not for him. And he was okay with it.

“Ethan, do you hear me? Are you still here?” his agent asked him.

“Yeah… yeah. I’m still there.”

“I was saying that we should release a statement. What do you think?”

“No. It would give credit to the story and it’s the last thing I want. Maybe if we wait and let the storm passes through, it will die down.”

“I’m not sure Ethan… It could really tarnish your reputation.”

“But she is lying! I know she is. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not stupid enough to forget about protection.”

“If we don’t do anything, it’s going to be a mess with the media…”

“Let it be.”

It was his final decision. He was used to tabloids anyway. How bad could that be? But if Ethan was not scared of the media, he was scared of another person in his life. As he was about to board on his flight for Qatar, the name of his mother appeared on the screen.

“Ethan Christian Verstappen! You have some serious explaining to do!” Kat Verstappen screamed aver the phone, making Ethan pulling the phone away from his ear.

“I guess you see the rumour…”

“Don’t tell me I’m going to be a grandmother soon. I’m too young for that!”

“I promise you, you won’t. That girl is lying. I met her once; we had fun and that’s it.”

“How many times did we tell you, with your dad, that your antics would get you in trouble one day? You never listened. If you settled down, the issue would be fixed!”

“I don’t want to settle down, mom.” sighed Ethan.

There was a silence on the other side of the line.

“What does she want, if she is lying, then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she is salty about the fact that I don’t want a relationship and she is trying to manipulate me to destabilize me? I don’t know… It’s fucked up, mom.”

“But what if she is not lying?”

“You didn’t raise me to be a coward. I would take my part of responsibilities. But it won’t come down to this. I promise that she is lying. You have to believe me. I need to know that you and dad believe me and that I have you in my corner.”

He was expecting his mom to answer but it was his dad voice that he hear.

“I’m going to call my lawyer. If this girl wants to mess with us, we are going to show her that she chose the wrong family.” said Max.

And Ethan knew it would all be okay.

The flight to Qatar allowed him to sleep a little, he was feeling exhausted after all the events of the last twenty-four hours. And he needed to recharge his batteries before the weekend. He was dreading the press conference. He didn’t want to go since he knew how his story was blowing up in the press. He just hoped it would all die down soon. But fate had sometimes its twisted ways and as soon as he landed, he received a text from his team principal asking him to come by to the hospitality as soon as possible. And seeing the tone of the text, Ethan knew he was fucked.

When he finally arrived, he was expecting the meeting to be a short one with only a few people. He was not expecting to see the whole team of media officers not only from Maserati but from Lamborghini as well. He sat at the opposite of the table, feeling like a prisoner waiting for the final court decision. Ashley, the Maserati PR officer showed him silently the different front pages of tabloids as well as her laptop where were displayed thousands of tweets. Ethan gulped. It was no good.

“And that’s just the top of the iceberg, Ethan.” she said when he finished to read everything.

“Because there are more than my entire reputation and name being dragged out in the mud?”

“Can you stop being selfish for once, Ethan? You are not the only one that has to deal with the aftermath of the scandal. Montorelli is threatening us to back down from the sponsorship agreement if sanctions are not taken. Not only them, but a few others brands as well because they don’t want to be associated to us if you are still there.”

It didn’t take long for Ethan to understand what they were implying.

“You want to fire me?”

“We can’t. That would create more drama than it’s already the case, considering who your father is…”

“So what? What are you going to do about it?”

“The question is what are YOU going to do about it, Ethan? We talked a bit about it and we think we have a solution.”

Ethan didn’t like where it was going, but he sucked it up and listened to what they had to say.

“Listen, everyone loves a good bad boy redemption, right? So we were thinking of finding a nice girl, maybe a model, someone cute and friendly that people could relate to. A girl next door. And it would bring more sponsors and different ones, that could be good for us.”

“I don’t want to fake date anyone.”

“You don’t have the choice, Ethan. The situation is bad.”

He sighed, taking his head between his hands. It was a nightmare; he was going to wake up.

“And what about Carla? Is she really pregnant? What are we going to do about her?”

“We are going to find out the truth, don’t worry. We will keep you up to date as soon as we have info. So, now that it is settled, we thought about some girls…”

“No. If I have to do this, I want to at least choose the poor girl that is going to get dragged into it.”

It didn’t really seem to please the team but Ethan didn’t care. They ended up accepting, giving him a week to come with a plan or they would not give him the choice. Ethan agreed and left the meeting room with a pounding headache.

Most of the questions directed to him were mentioning his recent scandal. As hard as he tried to ignore them and saying that he was not there to talk about it and that it was not the right time, they kept coming at him to the point that he was seriously fed up.

“I would appreciate if we could talk about something else, like the race. My lawyers are doing their jobs to solve this thing. I just know that I didn’t do anything wrong, so I know that the truth will come out sooner or later.”

Of course, it was all what the paddock was talking about and Julia couldn’t ignore it. Wherever she was going, she could hear Ethan’s name being whispered. Even if she wanted to ignore them, she couldn’t. She managed to find, Romy on the Thursday, just after she was done with her interviews. She was sipping on an ice-tea, her sunglasses resting on the top of her straight blond hair. As soon as she saw Julia she smiled brightly and waved at her. Julia sat next to her and and put on the table her phone and her badge.

‘So how does it feel to be back in a paddock?” Romy asked her.

“It feels good! A lot of work to do but I’m excited about it.”

“Yeah, I saw that the Skoda was not performing well…”

“That’s a way to put it nicely. The car is shit; you can say it.”

“I don’t want to offend you.”

Julia shrugged, playing with her bottle. They kept on talking a little, catching up on what they were both doing and how Romy was feeling now that the season had started. Even if she was now starting her third year, just like Ethan, at Audi, she was still victim of way too many misogynistic remarks from journalists but from other teams as well. She could try her best to downplay them and act as if it wasn’t hurting her, Julia knew better. For most of the paddock, Romy was there only because of her last name and because Sebastian had pushed for her to have a seat when he accepted the role of Team Principal. Rumour had it that he even threaten Audi to refuse, if she wasn't there. So for many, Romy didn’t deserve to be here even though she fought nails and teeth to get where she was.

From the corner of her eyes, she could see Ethan and a bunch of other people that she supposed were a part of the media team.

“How much in trouble do you think Ethan is?” Julia asked.

“Big trouble from what I have heard. Poor Ethan, he doesn’t deserve that.”

“Poor Ethan? Are you for real? I’d say that something like that was bound to happen. I’m surprised it took so long.”

“I’m sure he is innocent. He might be stupid and a bit of an ass sometimes but he is also loyal. I don’t think he would be the type to abandon a child and the mother if it was true. So if he says that it’s not true, I believe him.”

“Not really convinced.”

“You are biased Julia… You hate his guts. It has always been this way, for as long as I can remember. I don’t even know when it all started exactly.”

Julia took a moment to think about it. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t remember either. She only knew that it had always been this way.

“It’s like that, anyway. We don’t like each other it won’t change.”

Julia knew that the cars wouldn’t achieve a miracle during the race. Her only hope was that they could both finish the race without any technical issues but even that was apparently too much to ask. A problem with the engine forced both of the Skoda to retire early during the race and it was needless to say that Wilhelm was furious. He was so angry that no one dared to move or even breath in his direction, to scared to be the target of his wrath. Julia was trying to not care about him and was focusing on the screen in front of her, trying to see what they could extract from the data when she felt him approaching her.

“You’re useless.”

“Sorry?” she said, taken aback by how rude his tone sounded like.

“Why did we hire you, if at the end of the day your dad can’t even provide us with good engines? You were supposed to be an addition to this team because of your connection with Ferrari and all of that for what? We can’t even finish a race!”

“It’s not my fault. If you can’t make a viable car, it’s your problem. I’m here to help improving it but I was not part of the making process.”

“Listen Julia. You are nothing in this team. You just started and don’t think for one second that we hire you, a girl, for your engineering skills. The only thing that made you stand out from other candidates was your last name, so we could potentially get some help from Maranello.”

It hurt. It shouldn’t but it did. Everyone was looking at her, Niels and Noah included. It was not this way that she planned on telling them about her father, if even she was planning on telling them. It seemed like no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much effort she was putting into making people forget about her father, they couldn’t see past it. She was feeling tears prickling behind her eyelids and she stood up, excusing herself. She needed some air.

“Hey, Julia…” she turned around to see Niels approaching her carefully. “I just wanted to tell you that it was not nice. What happened inside.”

“Do you mean, the misogyny, the belittling or the humiliation?” she sniffled.

“All of that, I guess. I didn’t know that Charles was your dad….”

“Does it change something?”

“Well, no. Of course not. It’s just that now I feel a bit stupid about telling you that my dream team was Ferrari and with my fanboy moment about your dad. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“I’m used to that, Niels don’t worry. I’m way past it.” she reassured him.

“Good to know. I hope you know that whatever Wilhelm said, it was not true. Everyone can see that you are hard-working and you are the only one who cared about what it felt like to be in the car and to drive that car. If he was giving you the time and space to grow and to improve, you would be a valuable member of the team.”

“Thank you Niels, that’s really nice of you to say.”

“We were thinking of going to a bar tonight with Noah to drown our sorrows in a few shots of vodka. Want to join us?”

She nodded. It would do her good and maybe she could actually try to make some friends. Niels was a nice guy.

“I can see that you are a bit sad and I don’t like seeing people sad. Can I give you a hug? I’m a huger.” he asked.

She half-smiled and opened her arms for him and he didn’t hesitate to squeeze her.

They met later in the lobby of the hotel to go to a bar near it. It was a VIP place, something Julia was not used too. She had never been a party girl and she started to regret to have said yes. But it was too late now. When they walked in, Noah spotted immediately Kyle and Ludwig that were there too and decided to go to them. Soon after, Julia recognised Ethan with them and gulped. She quickly pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Romy as a SOS to ask her to join her. She knew that the Schumacher would never said no to a party. Even more if Julia was there.

Ethan wanted to forget this day and if he was being totally honest, he wanted to wipe out this week from his memory. Pretend it never existed so he could go back to his old ways and life. He sighed and tensed up when he saw Julia approaching his table. She definitely was the last person he wanted to see. He wanted to enjoy a night out with his friend without feeling judged by little miss perfect.

He ended up P15 which was his worst position ever. He din’t even listen to his team when he got out of the car and skipped the meeting. He did his best with staying polite to the press while wishing he was somewhere else. So here he was, in a bar, a place he would have loved to be just a week ago but right now, he was not having fun. As Julia was taking place at the table opposite of him, he made it clear that she was annoying him. He snorted before drinking a gulp of his whiskey and Julia, clearly hearing him, rolled her eyes.

Ludwig who was sitting right next to Ethan noticed the interaction. He was vaguely remembering her but failed to pinpoint the exact moment they had met in the past.

“I feel like we met, before, no? I’m Ludwig by the way, but everyone call me Lud.” he asked her.

“Maybe you’ve seen me around, I work for Skoda.”

“Yeah? That’s why you’re here with Noah and Niels, I guess then. So, what made you want to work in F1?”

“Well, I’ve been following the sport for quite some time now and I guess that it came naturally. I mean, I’ve always known that this is what I wanted to do.”

Ethan leaned against his chair, playing with his glass, before looking at her straight in the eyes.

“What she is failing to mention is that daddy is Ferrari Team Principal, so it helped. Right, Joolsie?”

“Shit, you’re Charles Leclerc’s daughter?” exclaimed Ludwig making everyone looking at her.

If a look could kill, Ethan would be six feet under by now.

“But why are you working at Skoda and not Ferrari, then?” asked Kyle, mingling in the conversation.

“Maybe I don’t want to? Maybe I want to deserve to work there and not have the easy access, like some people.” she snapped, staring at Ethan.

Fortunately for her, Romy arrived and all eyes were on her when she sat down loudly next to Julia and hailed a waiter to bring her his strongest drink.

“P4! P fucking 4! Fucking Ferrari! Fucking Martin and his nasty overtake! I could have won if it were not from him overtaking me like that! We all know that he should have gotten a penalty, it was not fair to squeeze me between the barrier like that!”

“Beware Schumy, we have a Ferrari spy, she is going to tell everything to daddy.” said Ethan.

“Can’t you just shut up, for once in your life?”

“Okay, kids… we are all collectively taking a deep breath and try to enjoy the night.” came Noah between them to try to avoid making the situation worse than it already was.

The next hour was boring for Julia. Romy was busy flirting with Kyle, while Noah and Niels were playing pool. The asked her she wanted to join but she preferred declining the invite, not being a fan of the game. As Ethan was talking to Ludwig, she felt alone. She excused herself and went to Romy, telling her she was going back to the hotel, to which the blonde nodded, way too occupied with the Lamborghini first driver. She waved slightly in direction Ludwig who was busy trying to cheer Ethan up as the young man was still brooding, complaining about the race and the scandal.

“Of course.” he exclaimed as he was seeing her leave the bar.

“What?”

“What about Julia?”

“Julia? What are you talking about, mate?” Ethan laughed, not understanding what his friend was trying to say.

“The PR relationship? What about Julia? It’s perfect.”

“I won’t fake date Julia, Lud.” groaned Ethan.

“But think about it! You hate her guts and she feels the same. No reason for her or you to fall in love and end up with a broken heart in the middle of the process.And it makes sense from a marketing point of view! You are Ethan Verstappen, only son of a legend of his sport. She is Charles’ daughter, the one who restored Ferrari glory! Two legends! The fight between them on tracks, we grew up watching them! They are iconic! You guys are basically royalty and you know that the media eat that type of shit! They love that! Imagine the PR.”

Ethan took a minute to think about it. On paper it looked great, he had to admit it but there would be no way, they would achieve to make it believable for the rest of the world.

“She would never agree.”

“Never say never, there must be something that could make her change her mind, no?”

“She hates me.”

“Ethan, do you want to lose your seat next year or do you want to fight to keep it?”

“Of course I want to fight!”

“Then, you know my idea is the best you’ll get.”

It hurt him to admit it, really it bruised his ego, but Ludwig was right. Julia might be his only hope if he wants to keep everything, he fought so hard to get. But now, he had to find a way to convince her to get onboard and he knew it wouldn’t be easy.

Author's note: So.... what do you think Ethan will do? Do you think Julia will agree ? What do you think about the other characters?

I can't wait to read your thoughts about it, so don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[horizon-verizon]

I’ll be honest here it baffles me that people actually take Rhaenyra’s “sharply questioned” line as her literally wanting Aemond to be tortured because it was always SO OBVIOUS that’s she’s just making smart choice of words to provoke Alicent and get her out of control. Rhaenyra is very clearly and cleverly trying to bait Alicent into admitting that it’s her that’s been spreading the rumours. But Alicent is a selfish coward so she let her sons take the fall for it.

In what world people actually think that Show!Rhaenyra would wish for a child to be tortured ? Like, y’all can’t be serious this doesn’t fit her character at all, soft girl did nothing when Aemond openly mocked and beat her sons in front of her during the dinner scene in ep8, she’s so obviously just manipulating the situation to her side by making Alicent physically & mentally lose her composture.

And Alicent fell in Rhaenyra’s trap like an idiot, Viserys gave her a chance to say a suitable punishment but she was already so blinded with hatred, resentment and rage that she choose something he would NEVER grant, Viserys is weak-willed but he’s not insane nor cruel, same way he wouldn’t torture his son he also wouldn’t take his grandson’s eye.

That was literally Alicent’s chance, she was given the chance to speak, imagine if she hadn’t fallen for Rhaenyra’s bait and had given in front of the whole court a speech similar to her “to have three is a insult” on ep6, even Viserys wouldn’t be able to mend things. Alicent turned a huge win for her “these bastard children are bullies, savages and animals” agenda into an humiliating political loss because people will only remember she was a psycho charging at a 6-year-old child with a dagger trying to gouge his eye out/murder him.

You:

because it was always SO OBVIOUS that’s she’s just making smart choice of words to provoke Alicent and get her out of control. Rhaenyra is very clearly and cleverly trying to bait Alicent into admitting that it’s her that’s been spreading the rumours.

I never really thought of her specifically using these words to provoke Alicent's mother-protectiveness...hmm. I always thought of it as her trying to place emphasis or provoke Viserys into being more "strict" ore relentless in his verbal interrogation of Aemond, bc she's placing emphasis on how serious the act of bastard-calling she labels as a crime to necessitate that relentless searching. I suppose it could be both.

You:

soft girl did nothing when Aemond openly mocked and beat her sons in front of her during the dinner scene in ep8,

I mean, there wasn't much she herself--pregnant--could do besides keep him in her eyeline and have others separate the two. I would have preferred at least an angrier expression from Rhaenyra or some sort of slip up where she forgets she's pregnant and then Daemon stepping in. But perhaps that's my inner drama babe popping out and my desire for what I think the canon!Rhaenyra would have likely done if that scene happened in canon Westerosi history (in the book, it said that they came close but the tension never broke into an actual fight and no punches were thrown). Plus I'd have liked more shouting from both sides, but we got what we got 🙄.; the purposeful rewriting and dilution of a woman who more often than not would cause just a little bit more "noise" and was more expressive as she asserted herself.

Key words...."never forgot a slight". Yes, women absolutely could be this way and still be a "good" or "ethically ambiguous" instead of a "amoral" or "bad" actor.

We could say "not all women", or "most women wouldn't have put themselves at risk" like that. These are true. It's just that with bk!Rhaenyra, the likelihood that, as I said, she'd "forget" in her suppressed rage...it's likelier she would have.

You:

Viserys gave her a chance to say a suitable punishment but she was already so blinded with hatred, resentment and rage that she choose something he would NEVER grant

This is Viserys' dialogue with Alicent:

Viserys: This interminable infighting must cease! All of you! We are family! Now make your apologies and show good will to one another. Your father, your grandsire, your king demands it! Alicent: That is insufficient. Aemond has been damaged, permanently, my king. “Good will” cannot make him whole. Viserys: I know, Alicent, but I cannot restore his eye. Alicent: No, because it’s been taken. Viserys: What would you have me do? Alicent: There is a debt to be paid. I shall have one of her son’s eyes in return. Viserys: My dear wife. Alicent: He is your son, Viserys. Your blood. Viserys: Do not... allow your temper to guide your judgment. Alicent: If the King will not seek justice, the Queen will. Ser Criston... bring me the eye of Lucerys Velaryon. Lucerys: Mother! Viserys: Alicent. Alicent: He can choose which eye to keep, a privilege he did not grant my son. Viserys: You will do no such thing. (to Criston) Stay your hand. Alicent: No, you are sworn to me! Criston: As your protector, my queen. Viserys: Alicent, this matter... is finished. Do you understand? And let it be known, anyone whose tongue dares to question the birth of Princess Rhaenyra's sons should have it removed. Rhaenyra: Thank you, Father. [Alicent attacks Rhaenyra]

This is the fuller script.

Actually Viserys never gave her a chance to "choose" a punishment. A huge part of Alicent's frustration boiling to her taking the knife is how little (really no) choice Viserys allows her to get any sort of payback. Throughout this scene, they are arguing about how he's not inflicting any punishment for her sons' sake AND she's trying to get one to be implemented in the first place. You can't choose a punishment that wasn't a granted as an option in the first place. Her decision to try to take out one of Lucerys' eyes comes from her own refusal to accept Viserys' action-less/not giving her option of retaliation.

Ironically, the scene does indicate how little power she--even as the Queen Consort and mother to 4 of his living children--has under Viserys' authority when she cannot do much to protect her kids without facing some sort of censure herself. again, she's obviously wrong and Viserys was right to not punish those kids bc Aemond simply was the aggressor. Especially when he had already won, the boys and the girls were backing off, and he still re-raised the rock to bash in his nephew's head while calling them worthless bastards--triggering all their fight or flight responses. that and taking out an eye for Aemond's would have done nothing--esp under this context--for Aemond but to affirm the idea that he was not morally responsible for his own actions. Not that Viserys knew, but we know and we know the possible other consequences for if this didn't turn out the way it should have. And it would have left another child without an eye, further traumatized. Again, the only worth in that sort of "justice" is to satisfy the actual bad actors.

Still, it showed a shared experience for Consorts and noblewomen. Indicated something wrong in the system that they are in similar to how it was unfair for Rhaenyra to be expected to have heirs from a gay man, her probable choice in a husband denied, losing another to constant births for the high-valued male heir, this woman, her former best friend (in the show), harrassing her and nearly maiming her own son in jealous retaliation, etc.

Alicent's feelings are somewhat valid (bc, again, she is wrong about Rhaenyra possibly killing her kids if she becomes Queen or that lords will endanger her kids AND that Rhaenyra should strictly follow patriarchal principles of "duty" and "sacrifice") valid, but neither were her behavior nor her response.

You:

imagine if she hadn’t fallen for Rhaenyra’s bait and had given in front of the whole court a speech similar to her “to have three is a insult” on ep6, even Viserys wouldn’t be able to mend things

I mean, bk!Alicent didn't do this either, bc she'd risk her own reputation taking a hit for being a "rowdy", too-vocal woman by so flagrantly bad mouthing the house she is married into and has "given" children to. Her loyalties to her husband's house is not considered a light, casual thing. I mentioned at least 2 Rhaenys-posts ago that Rhaenys could never expect House Velaryon to accept her as their head even if the greens ruled it bc there's too much that would go against her: Vaemond Velaryon; the fact that show!Corlys already named Luke his heir and Luke is male to her femaledom; she's not even part of the house's direct lineage by blood like Laena.

Remember that Alicent is trying to get Aegon "legitimately" named as Viserys' heir. For the King's wife to be criticizing the King's actions in front of the entire court would throw some reputation-degrade marks onto her kids, bc that's how the medieval-to early Tudor patriarchal world thought. Virginity, chastity, no sex outside for marriage exclusively for women...the idea was that if a women did "unwomanly", disobedient thing, she'd be hurting her children's prospects and those sex-related things I mentioned? It's all a way to restrict a woman's sexual activity by ruling that if she has affairs while already married, she'd be throwing doubt as to her children's paternity.

So she'd be risking of acting "treasonously". And Alicent simply isn't that type of woman nor can she reasonably expect to gain more than what she'd lose. She truly is that conservative/has bought into the patriarchy.

[storyteller-aprendiz]

I LOVED THE CHEATING STORYLINE (ACTUALLY)

First, a little bit about me: I am a polyamorous bisexual writer with queer liberation ideals. This is just so that you (beautifull reader that took the time to read this) understands where I am coming from.

So let's recapitulate:

Carlos and Ashlyn plus all of the wildcats except for Big Red and Seb leave for camp, leaving the two boys to spend a lot time together were they grow closer and their relationship understandably strengthens.

So, we end up with two boys that are missing their romantic partners and all the affection their romantic partners can give them. They decide to go see a Harry Styles movie (whyyy?? harry styles- it should have been better Fire Island, anyways). And in the darkness of the cinema Seb reaches for Big Red's nachos, and Big Red for Seb's popcorn. Hands brush, it reminds them of the romantic affection they've been missing, but it isn't enough so they kiss.

And kisses CAN be platonic. Nothing happens, except that Big Red discovers he's bisexual.

Their romantic partners return for camp. They have to tell them about the KISS because if they don't say anything it would be cheating, but Big Red is going to Cairo (for some weird reason). Seb, well there are some rumours about Carlos cheating, which Seb isn't bother by, in his mind he did the same.

He found out does rumours aren't real. Carlos didn't cheat unlike him. The guilt consumes him, he's a coward so he runs from his problems. Seb ignores Carlos for the rest of the summer and two months after that (if they start in the 1st of september, idk how it works).

Seb tells Carlos about the kiss, but it comes out all wrong. Now its too late for the kiss to really being nothing, Seb ignore carlos for 2 months-ish. Plus he says he cheated, which really what is CHEATING?

Is it kissing someone? Is it having sex with someone? Is it entering a romantic relationship with someone? Is it entering a sexual relationship with someone? Is it having feelings for someone?

Carlos & Seb never defined what is cheating for them, and the way Seb says it, it could be anything of the above.

PLUS cheating involves in some way getting tired of the other person and wanting to look for something new. Which Carlos internalizes, but is definetly not how Seb feels about him.

Big Red comes back from Egypt, the first thing he does (after yk doing all the things you do for a trip) is go find Ashlyn and explain himself, and apologize (sort of). Because how he sees it, it wasn't cheating because for him platonic kisses aren't cheating and he still loves Ashlyn, for Ash is a bit different because she doesn't know what cheating is for her, and they also never established what cheating was for each other.

But is fine because Big Red came to her with the truth AS SOON AS POSSIBLE (I'm looking at you Sebastian). Plus they both knew their relationship was reaching an end.

Reminded by Ashlyn, Big Red goes to Carlos to explain the situation, but is too late Seb already ruin it. It was too late, the wording was not the best ("Do you know who was the guy that Seb cheated with?" / "Me". Like, damn). And again CHEATING implies the person that cheats getting bored with their partner and disregarding their feelings.

So yeah, Carlos is feeling bad. Because all this time it had been Seb who had giving Carlos the side eye for the possibility he might cheated with boys on trips to México or Camp, etc. Carlos, who has had to manage the effects of this insecurity of Seb's, then has that same insecuirty made real by the same person that already feels it.

Therefore, a very shitty situation. Because again Seb saying "I cheated on you" is very different from "I kiss Big Red, it didn't mean anything".

And as we know it was all that implied cheating that affected Carlos, not really the kiss on itself. So in true Seblos fasion, he needs a song to be reminded of how much Seb trully loves him, how much he values him.

And we finally get the Seblos (frankie & joe) duet I've been waiting.

Seb finally gets a chance to do things right, explain himself and Red, and assuage any insecurities Carlos might have.

The End.

Which, wow, it was a very convoluted storyline, just type it down, now, I can see how long it was.

So for my recap of it, you can see that I really don't see Seb and Big Red as cheating, because again it was a PLATONIC kiss. That being said, Seblos and Redlyn should have talk about what is cheating for them, and is platonic kisses are part of it, well that changes things a little bit. But yeah. For me what Seb & Big Red did wasn't cheating.

Now lets get into what Seb and Big Red did wrong.

Big Red, you did things very good actually, just don't try to act so proud of it "my coming-out origin story" to your girlfriend? Dude, a bit more tact next time.

Seb, Seb, sweet, sweet, Seb. Do you even know your boyfriend? You did everything wrong. You IGNORED Carlos, a person which craves attention, you make him feel your own guilt about cheating even when he didn't, and make him feel like he did something wrong in the relationship, when you thought it was you who did the wrong thing.

And then, instead of explaining what ACTUALLY happened, you say it in the way that will be MISINTERPRETED and cause a lot of insecurity, insecurity which you HAVE/HAD by the way.

Like I know you aren't good at talking things out loud, but this is a whole other level.

Now, why do I love the storyline? As I declared in the title of this post.

Well 1st CARLOS. I love how this plot allows us to go in deeper with Carlos' insecurities, and even a throwaway line of the exuberant body standards of/in the gay community.

It also gave us a Carlos that fought for Seb, when he wasn't talking to him. Like in S2, he would have just give him the cold shoulder too, called it a day, and if they never talk again, well it would be more self-pity to drown himself into.

It gave us Miss Jenn & Carlos bonding over their broken hearts, Ashlyn & Carlos moments talking about their partners (and queerness), Carlos & Kourtney caring for each other.

It gave us a freaking Seblos duet (though I know we could've get this any other way).

2nd Seb. Like I know that I have been to harsh on him, and that's because he messed up. And I LOVE that about him.

Like Sebastian has always been this perfect character ("Sweet Perfect Innocent Seb" as Carlos call him), but now we know it isn't always easy to be sweet, perfect, and innocent.

And he messed up in a way that was actually in line with his character, like he is definitely the person that drags out the problem until he can't ignore it (Points to S2), and doesn't want to deal with it.

Carlos messes up a lot, but now we find out that Seb does too.

3rd Big Red. I love his outlook in this whole situation. How he looks back at the moment and doesn't think "I cheated on my girlfriend" but rather "Wow, cool bi awakening". Because again, he wasn't into Seb, it was a platonic kiss, all it did for him was making him realized that he likes kissing boys, and boys in general as well as girls.

Which brings me to the fact that we finally got to know Big Red's bi awakening. Is it controversial? Yes. Does it perpetuates stereotypes? Depending on how you look at it, because although Big Red doesn't look at it as cheating, Ashlyn has more mix feeling about it, and the guy he kissed definetly thinks they cheated.

4th, it was a freaking queer storyline. Like normally I hate cheating as a way to cause more drama into a relationship, plus being the reason the character break up. But the way HSMTMTS queered it all the way.

Like I definitely can SEE this happening on a queer friendship group irl. Like the Redlyn break-up is the queerest scene on the show ever, Big Red's whole different out look on the situation, Carlos' insecurities about why Seb cheated, how Seb reacts to the whole thing, and the uses Halloween to try an fix it. The fact that it was a platonic kiss, which both parties know didn't meant they were into the other person, but that they just like to kiss.

Very, very queer my friend.

Lastly, I have mostly been talking about it from my own interpretation and my feelings about it. But I want to talk about how I saw it was received.

And that was, not so good.

Which I do and don't understand at the same time. On the one side, I am in part of the crow that says that relationships don't need to have drama to be interesting. Especially, when the only drama mainstream authors can think about is, cheating, fear of being cheated on, and jelousy. Like very boring my friend.

Then there's the whole "Bisexual Stereotipe" in the room, which true (most people don't even care about Bi men) is not the best. However, I want to ask, why are we so insistan on looking good? Why do we crave acceptance so much?

If a may I would like to bring attention to this next excerpt from Bi Notes from a Bisexual Revolution by Shiri Esner:

The idea of unfaithfulness also brings into light the metaphor of the bisexual as traitor (one of my personal favorites). The dictionary defines

treason as “a betrayal of trust,” or as “an attempt to overthrow the government . . . or to kill . . . the sovereign,” a definition that betrays, if you will, bisexuality’s function as an agitator. We can think about bisexuality as betrayal of the trust imposed on us by power structures, as well as embodying an attempt to overthrow or “kill” hegemonic order. We can then use this as a gateway to betraying monogamy, patriarchy, governments, countries, and wars, betraying the “LGBT” (meaning, the GGGG) movement, for promoting the assimilation of our communities and cooperating with oppressive structures. We can be traitors to anything that confines us, and to anything that stands in our way: all power structures, all oppression.

Which actually brings me to the last idea of why I think people are reacting badly to the storyline, we are not used to see queer people mess up in media. With this I mean that we are either demonized or made into paragons.

Let me pick another quote from Will Williams, amazing creator of Valence a super duper queer Urban Fantasy Podcast:

So like, there’s this — there’s this idea of “bad representation”, of showing queer people in a negative light as complex and fucked up characters. [...] There’s this idea that showing queer people like this gives cishet people more reasons to hate us. 

And I understand that. I absolutely do. [...] But where I am right now, my philosophy is, cishet people will always hate us. They’ll always find reasons to think that we’re abhorrent even if we’re the most morally upright person in their eyes, regardless of being queer. [...]

I don’t — I — because I’m a mess, and because I’m a queer person, and because I have huge monumental flaws as a person, I really struggle to feel represented by most things [...] So when I think of the media that matters to me, and makes me feel seen, and gives me catharsis, and makes me feel represented as specifically a queer person, I always think of really fucked up, messed up queer characters hat other people might point to and be like, this is bad representation. I just don’t think that there’s any such thing as good representation.

To conclude, I love the cheating storyline. Because in my book it wasn't actually cheating, we've got to explore the characters even more- let them mess up, and it was queer as fuck.

[scotianostra]

On April 16th 1117 Earl Magnus of Orkney, later St Magnus, is betayed and murdered by his cousin Håkon on the island of Egilsay in Orkney.

This is a great wee story, most of it gleaned from OrkneyJar, dates differ on other sites and I will post a link at the end going through the alternatives.

Orkney was ruled for most of its history by Norway. It occupied a crucial position off the north coast of Scotland for the Norwegian ships that harried England, Ireland and Wales and indeed Scotland, from the 9th to the 12th Centuries.

Hakon and Magnus grew up in Orkney. Their fathers, brothers Paul and Erlend, were joint Earls of Orkney: each ruling half of the islands. It was a period of peace and prosperity. Hakon developed into a proud fighter and warrior. Magnus preferred books to fighting and turned to the church for his strength.

Upon the death of their fathers, the Earldom passed to Sigurd, the son of King Magnus of Norway. During this time Hakon accompanied the King on various expeditions down the west coast of of the British Isles and lived up to his reputation as a fierce and fearless warrior.

Magnus joined the king on one expedition – a raiding expedition down the west coast of Scotland, travelling as far south as Angelsey. He refused to fight against English noblemen with whom he said he had no quarrel. (Some version say they were Welsh)

Rather than join battle, he sang psalms and prayed. He was no coward, but did not believe in fighting for its own sake. The king’s wrath was incurred so Magnus escaped from the King’s ship one night and swam to shore of Scotland where he had to disappear for several years until the old King was dead.

When the old king died, Sigurd succeeded to the Norwegian throne and Hakon was given the Earldom of Orkney.

Hakon ruled alone for a while, until Magnus arrived from Scotland and claimed possession of his patrimony, with the blessing of the new King. Hakon initially refused to give up any of Orkney, but as the local noblemen wouldn’t fight Magnus, he had to cede half of the islands. They ruled as their fathers had done.

Hakon and Magnus ruled Orkney in harmony for seven years; defending their Earldom from invaders and marauders with success. They appeared to have had a good understanding and Orkney flourished under their joint rule.

It seems that Magnus was the more popular of the cousins. The Orkneyinga Saga tells of a blameless life, a wise man, eloquent, strong-minded, magnanimous, and more beloved than any other man. He was generous to the deserving but severe with robbers and raiders. He punished rich and poor impartially for wrong-doing. His justice was fair and consistent. To cap it all, he was God-fearing. He married a Scots girl and lived with her for ten years without touching her, to honour a bond between him and God. When he was tempted to break his bond, he plunged into a tub of freezing water and prayed for divine guidance.

Hakon became increasingly jealous of Magnus’ popularity, fuelled at least in part by men of evil dispositions, Sigurd and Sighwat Sokki, who spread inflammatory rumours in the courts of both Earls. It resulted in Hakon and Magnus both taking troops to the regular meeting of Orkney noblemen on the Mainland. Battle was only averted by the intervention of noblemen who, as friends of both earls, managed to broker a truce.

To seal the bond of their reconciliation and continued cooperation, Hakon and Magnus arranged to meet on the island of Egilsay. They agreed to take only two ships each and few men. Magnus stuck to this arrangement and was on the island, praying, when Hakon arrived with eight ships and men armed to the teeth. His intent was clear.

It is recorded that Magnus had no concern for his own life, but wanted to save his cousin from the consequences of a shocking crime. He offered to leave on pilgrimage, never to return to Orkney. Hakon refused. He offered to submit to imprisonment in Scotland. Hakon refused. Finally he said “Let me be maimed as you like, or deprived of my eyes, and throw me into a dark dungeon”. Hakon was set to accept this offer, but his noblemen objected, saying that one or other of the Earls had to die that day. Hakon replied he would rather rule than die. Magnus’ fate was sealed.

In one more twist to the story, Hakon ordered his standard bearer to kill Magnus. He refused, knowing that the killer of such a popular man would be an outcast in Orkney. It was to his cook, Lifolf, that Hakon turned, knowing that he would not dare refuse the order. As Lifolf wept, Magnus prayed for him, forgave him, then prayed for the souls of his enemies, Earl Hakon included. Lifolf took up his axe and brought it down on Magnus’ forehead.

The place where Earl Magnus was slain had been rocks and moss, but after his death, grass grew strongly, indicating to the saga-writer that it was the death of a holy and righteous man. Hakon permitted the body to be buried in the church on the Brough of Birsay, which had been built by their Grandfather, Thorfinn. Soon after the burial a holy light was seen above the church and the sick were cured when they prayed at the grave. Pilgrimages started from all over Orkney.

Earl Hakon took over the rule of all of Orkney and extracted huge fines from those who had been loyal to Magnus. After a while, he made a pilgrimage to Rome and perhaps he saw the error of his ways, because against all the odds, he returned to Orkney to become a just and popular ruler, much lamented when he died, many years later.

The cult of Magnus spread well beyond Orkney’s shores. He died on April 16th 1117 and that day is kept as the day of his martyrdom. In the 12th Century saints could be chosen by popular acclaim; the canonisation process did not need a process at Rome. By 1136 he was a saint, authorised by the Bishop of Orkney. In 1137 the building of St Magnus Cathedral, which stands in the centre of Kirkwall today, was started by Earl Rognvald, Magnus’ nephew. It was erected with the express purpose of receiving the relics of St Magnus, which were transferred there when it was ready for use.

There was no firm evidence that the bones of St Magnus really did reside in St Magnus Cathedral until 1919, when extensive cathedral renovation was going on. Some loose stones were removed from a pillar, with the intention of re-mortaring them. Within a cavity behind these stones there was a box containing most of a human skeleton. The state of the skull conformed with the story in the sagas about St Magnus’ death wound to the head. St Magnus’ relics had been found. They were replaced and the stones fixed back in place.

A couple of links here the first is regarding a reconstruction of his face, fascinating stuff! http://www.bbc.co.uk/…/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetla…

The second link explains the dates of his murderhttp://www.orkneyjar.com/history/stmagnus/magnus6.htm

[little-peril-stories]

Whumptober 2023, Day 8: "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier."

Whumptober 2023 Masterlist

Read at your own risk! They're only snippets of a larger story, with no resolution that will be posted online anytime soon; they are being posted out of order; and the characters don't have names. Enjoy!

Contents: angst, death, murder, arrest, vicious rumours/false accusations

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Word count: 1250 || Approx reading time: 5 mins

"I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier."

Teaser: And to be safe, she needed to be free—far from the man who’d taken her away because he believed he could, that his royal blood made him all-powerful, that he deserved to have his fists curled tightly around anything or anyone he pleased. He’ll never let go, she’d said. He’ll never give up.

"I'll never be a hero who all the citizens adore / But if I hide to save my life, what has my life been for?"

The scholar watched her go.

He watched her vanish, watched her wide eyes shimmer with tears as she made her escape.

Met her gaze when, for the most agonizingly beautiful instant, she looked back.

And then was gone.

“I’ll distract him,” he promised. Breath stuttering in his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and wondered if she could feel how his heart thundered against her shivering form.

“Come with me,” she whispered. “Please. But we have to go. Now.”

We have to go. Away from here, away from the castle, away from the place that had turned her visit from a holiday into hell.

He wanted to. Oh, how he wanted to say yes, to let her cling to him—and to let himself cling back—for all of eternity, to let centuries pass them by in perfect harmony and happiness. He wanted to. He wanted her.

“I don’t want to go without you,” she said, squeezing more tightly.

He needed her.

He needed her safe.

And to be safe, she needed to be free—far from the man who’d taken her away because he believed he could, that his royal blood made him all-powerful, that he deserved to have his fists curled tightly around anything or anyone he pleased. He’ll never let go, she’d said. He’ll never give up.

That she had escaped his grasp on her own was a miracle.

If he finds me again, he’ll never let me leave.

So the scholar pulled away, clasping her hands as their bodies peeled apart, loath to put any cruel, miserable distance between them, yet knowing he had no choice. He made his promise again. “I’ll distract him.”

Of course, she knew; she must have; she knew him inside and out; she knew his very soul. He was no soldier, no fighter. “What—what are you going to do?” Her fingers tightened, still tangled in his. “They think you’re the one who—”

“I know.”

“They think you killed me.”

“I know.”

She shook her head, those fragile bird’s-wing bones trembling against his. “Please don’t—You can’t—”

“I’ll just distract him long enough for you to run,” he said. Tugged his hand free. Brushed a lock of hair from her dirt-streaked cheek, relishing the silken smoothness of her skin for what was sure to be the very last time. “Then I’ll—I’ll run. I’ll find you.”

Empty words, a hollow promise, a vow of nothing.

“But they think you did it,” she said again, echoing the rumours, the warnings that had been circling him for days, the words that would haunt his memory for the rest of his life. “They’ll arrest you. They’ll kill—”

“They won’t.” He did not know if that was true. “I can’t let him hurt you again. I won’t.” Overcome with too many thoughts, too many fears, too many jabs of paralyzing terror that would conquer him if he allowed it, he drew her close again. One final embrace.

Against him, she shuddered.

“I will find you,” he whispered, despising himself for the lie. He wrapped his coat around her to hide her stained and ripped dress, almost unrecognizable from its former loveliness. Why hadn’t he thought to give it before? “Now. Run. Please.”

“Don’t get hurt,” she said. There were tears on her cheeks. Why? He wished she wouldn’t weep for him. He was a liar and a coward, a fool who’d spent an entire lifetime quailing at conflict and lying to himself. To the end, he knew, those things were what he would remain, even as he did this, this preposterous thing, this stupid but courageous but illogical but selfless thing.

Nothing but a coward.

I love you, he was supposed to say, sealed with a kiss that contained everything that swelled inside him but which he could not put into words. Instead, he said, “Run.”

The scholar watched her go.

***

He was no fighter, but he was a magicwielder, and he was in love with a girl who everyone else believed was dead—who, they believed, he had murdered in cold blood.

He could not protect his reputation, but he could protect her.

He saw the looks, the gazes that turned from confusion to suspicion to astonishment. As recognition flashed across their faces.

I’ll distract him.

But the soldier—who was supposed to see him and, bound by duty, arrest him for his supposed crimes—kept walking, even as those he commanded realized that a wanted man was in their midst.

The commander would find her. He was looking for her, and she could not outrun him. He would find her and bring her back to the prince, and they would lock her away, shut her up in the dark. A girl of leaves and sea air and sunlight, and the prince and his commander would keep her until she wilted and died.

He would use her, she’d choked against his shoulder. She had something they wanted, something she’d kept hidden from everyone, something they’d discovered and were unwilling to relinquish.

No. The scholar wouldn’t allow it. If she wanted to hide, she must have had her reasons.

If he let the prince take her away and hurt her some more…

He wouldn’t forgive himself.

Never.

He raised his hands, magic crackling at his fingertips, and he froze the commander in his tracks. Although he saw the man begin to shake and his eyes to bulge in confusion, other images overtook his senses: her gleaming tears, her torn dress, her bruised wrists.

Her teasing, pealing laugh, the ethereal whisper of her hair against his fingers, the musical sweep of her bare feet through fragrant, luscious grass.

He unleashed his magic and watched the soldier stiffen, as if his bones would crack and shatter. He halted. He fell.

“Commander!”

Shouts from far away.

“Commander?”

And then—

“It’s—it’s him! There!”

He was discovered now for the act he was committing, but the scholar knew he could not run. He was weak. A coward. A liar.

Words flowed over him, words he knew he should heed, but he had to stop the commander from getting up again, had to keep the attention on him, had to make sure she got away.

“Commander!”

“Don’t move!”

“He’s magicwielding!”

“Someone stop him!”

“Sir!”

“Stand down!”

“Commander!”

“He’s not breathing!”

“Get him!”

“He’s dead!”

The scholar released his hold, sudden dread coursing through his blood.

Dead?

No.

No.

He hadn’t wanted to—

I’ll distract him. Run. Please.

A diversion, an opportunity.

That was all he—

“I said, he’s dead!”

How?

The scholar stared down at his hands, hands that had never before wielded power strong enough to do what he had just done.

A crowd pressed in around him—too many, too many. Someone knocked him to the ground, and as his glasses went flying and the world turned to a soft watercolour blur, he was awash in shattering pain and biting terror.

“You killed him!” someone roared. “You killed the commander!”

“N—no.” It couldn’t be true. But they’d said. He hadn’t. But they’d screamed it out. He’s dead, he’s dead. But he was a coward, and he was weak. You killed him. But he couldn’t have. “I didn’t—”

“He’s dead, you murdering bastard!”

I wasn’t trying to—

Noise rose around him, furious and panicked, coalescing into one thick wall of sound. Words and words and words and screams and words and bellows, so many voices, too many, too much. Nonsensical. Foreign. Commander. Magic. Him. The girl. Dead. Dead.

Under arrest.

Murderer.

Dead.

Doomed.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

[musette22]

Realistically I know nothing is gonna happen at the con, 1. Because at the first sign of discomfort they will probably cancel the whole thing and 2. Because if there’s something Chris Evans fans are is a bunch of cowards and clinically insane but that’s another topic.

But the fact that they are very publicly speaking about how they’re gonna confront Chris about his relationship, and attack his girlfriend is absolutely maddening to me. Like it makes me believe that I’m living in an alternate world because there’s absolutely no fucking way people act that way. In the real world? Wild shit.

I wasn't sure whether or not I should publish this, but screw it, I'll just reply to this one message just because it's something that's been on my mind as well. I'll put the rest of my reply under the cut since I know a lot of my followers (and actually me too, usually) like to avoid negativity and discourse.

First of all, and I'm sure you know this too, obviously not all Chris Evans fans are deranged. I'm a little weird, sure, but I'm not stalker or harassment levels crazy, and neither are you I'm guessing, and neither are all the lovely people I have come to know here on Tumblr. Unfortunately, there are also plenty of lunatics out there and while I haven't seen much of the vitriol this time around (I learned my lesson after the same thing happend with Sebastian a few years back and decided to steer clear as much as possible), I have seen enough to know that it's pretty bad, and enough to make me genuinely worried about how this con is going to go down.

I hope to god you're right and that the proceedings will be closely monitored, but I find it really hard to believe they'd be able to make sure nothing crazy gets through, and yeah, that makes me nervous. I also don't think anything too bad will happen, but I still don't know what Chris was thinking when he signed up for 3 (!) days of this con as well as a (live streamed) panel, during this particularly turbulent time. He's not naive, he knows roughly what some people are saying and he knows there is a danger of things becoming pretty uncomfortable for him, I have no doubt. So I kind of feel like there must be a specific reason why he signed up for this con (a professional one, I mean), and honestly, I am equally scared about what that might be, considering some of the marvel rumours that have been floating around of late. But maybe I'm worrying about nothing here, and I probably shouldn't jump the gun, and just wait and see what the next couple of weeks bring.

But yeah, I absolutely hate how judgemental and entitled some people are about all of this, especially those who claim to be his fans. If you don't like Chris or don't agree with what he does in his personal life, that's fine. No one says you have to. Just avoid him and focus on people and things you do like, it's that easy. But there is no need to go around badmouthing him just because you don't like him. Don't go out of your way to make him out to be a bad person, or make rash judgements about the people close to him, based on rumours and hearsay and information from people who clearly have an agenda, and don't act like you know what's best for him better than he does himself. That's just stupid. And DEFINITELY don't fucking harass him or his loved ones, whether online or in real life. That is actual, high-level crazy person behaviour and nothing gets me angrier or more disillusioned about the state of fandom than those kind of people (who are giving the rest of us a bad name and also have repeatedly ruined good thing both for their 'faves' and for the rest of us). Wild shit indeed.

Anyway. Let's hope things go smoothly and that overall this con will just be a nice and fun affair that'll give us lovely new Chris content. I won't be watching the live stream lol, but I'll be over here keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best 🤞🏻

[choccorin]

YAYAY IM HAPPY THAT THEY TOOK YOUR APOLOGY WELL and itsokay im also a coward in conflicts like i try to avoid drama but somehow i end up being part of smth ??? WAIT STORY TIME HELP SORRY THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY LONG 💔💔

ok for background context i used to like this guy last year (he… was not the best person but shh) and we got really close like he considered me his best friend but he knew i liked him so it was like really awkward sometimes when he would just stare into my soul and it gave off the vibes of “i know u like me and i will make u miserable!!” BUT ANYWAYS he forced me to confess (kinda) like he msged me and said smth along the lines of “i know you like me and just be honest.” why did he put me on the spot i do not know but i found no point in lying cuz apparently when he was at this competition a few ppl were talking about my crush on him?? i dont know how other ppl figured it out???

I MEAN OK TO BE FAIR I WAS REALLY OBVIOUS but also i didnt openly admit that i like him !! whenever classmates would ask id always say like “no i dont” or that its none of their business but they just love to get into anything relationship crush related like this isnt middle school anymore 💔 ang immature talaga nila pag nalaman may crush yung isa sa classmate ☹️ ANYWAYS ppl took that answer as “yes i like him!!” so they would just constantly talk about it whenever they see the guy so that explains why they were talking about me at that competition (i wasnt even there.) but he rejected me and i dont like him anymore. we are still good friends i suppose bc he still tells me everything HELP

anyways to the actual drama thats still happening rn its been like 3 months ..!

throughout that entire thing im afraid that there was a girl (shes my classmate currently) who was LITERALLY WISHING ON MY DOWNFALL BC SHE LIKED THE GUY TOO AND STILL DOES. like girl you can have him i dont like him anymore !! but shes been talking shit about me since ive been around him recently + SHE THINKS I STILL LIKE HIM. im usually a touchy person w my friends if they let me but it isnt even romantic or anything im just “abusive” (which is what they describe me as) since i sneak up behind them and slap their shoulder as hard as i can. HELP I PROMISE THEYRE FINE W ME DOING THIS IM NOT ONE OF THOSE PPL WHO JUST DO IT FOR NO REASON 💔 I DO IT BECAUSE THEY BULLY ME BUT ANYWAYS THIS GIRL REALLY DOESNT LIKE ME TOUCHING HIM (this sounds so wrong out of context..) shes really mad about me being close to him like im sorry he wants to be my friend?? im not stopping her from talking to him nor do i care if she does. im like 99% sure she was crying yesterday because i slapped his shoulder. i feel bad but i also dont bc she can go slap him too….. its not that special gang

she also calls herself an “outsider” and thinks the guy doesnt care about her since he doesnt talk to her. miss girl i think hes just creeped out by how you treat his friends LIKE IF I WAS IN HIS POSITION I DONT THINK I WANNA TALK TO SOMEONE WHO HATES ANY GIRL I INTERACT WITH

IM GETTING OFF TOPIC STOP BUT shes been spreading a whole bunch of rumours and talking about me with her friend group (who also hates me bc of this) and im pretty sure she thinks idk about what shes doing because whenever she talks to me its always strangely nice or asking me for academic help. like at this point i dont know the answer to the chem homework either stop asking me since you hate me sm!!

im praying she stops being like this bc shes genuinely a nice..??? person. shes just weirdly obsessed w the guy and will do anything to stop him from interacting w any girls other than her. LIKE IF WE IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE SHE DID shes a decent person that i could be friends with. i cant even apologize to her or anything since I DONT KNOW WHAT TO APOLOGIZE FOR?? “hi im sorry for liking and slapping the guy you have a crush on” LIKE THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE HELP but ill just let it marinate i guess and hope for the best 😓😓

IM SORRY IDIDNT THINK THSI WOULD BE SO LONG I HOPE EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE IM TOO LAZY TO READ IT OVER 💔💔 i hope u dont mind long asks pookie

- 🐙

OMG SAME !! i avoid drama but got caught it in during ninth and tenth grade :'3 so i'm trying to be cautious about the friends i make and also trying to keep my circle small </3

oouugghff knowing that someone knows you like them is sooo awkward AND HE STARES AT YOU TOO ??? i would pass out on the spot ... i hate those types of classmates na laging nasa business ng iba .. ESPECIALLY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS !!!! i think may ganyan talaga every grade. except for college, i think. since mas mature na mga tao dun but you never know. AWWHHH GOOD FOR YOU !! i personally wouldn't be close friends with him after that because people might get the wrong idea </3

SEEE, I TOLD YOU PEOPLE WOULD GET THE WRONG IDEA !! 🥹🥹🥹 why can't she just ask you if you still have a crush on him like she's making conflict for no reason at all. ( •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀ )

why do girls have to go through phases where they go insane over a SINGLE BOY !! but i guess it's a canon event and they'll just grow out of it .. but! three months is actually so long ?? how do you deal with that 🐙 anon ... i would be so fed up and just confront her about it. i hope she confesses to the boy soon and he rejects her ( i assuming he doesn't like her ) so that this situation will be over. 🥹 if you let it marinate, it'll either get worse or get better, no in between! ( trust me, i've been there. )

ANYWAYS! i don't mind long asks, i love them a lot actually :3 it feels like chatting with a friend :33