#LEGITIMATELY THAT POST BLEW MY MIND OKAY

[pyromaniac-cyndaquil]

All this time. Wondering why gladion's theme always hit me like a truck and inexplicably always made me feel on the verge of tears. Wondering why the hell I must suddenly be feeling emotional over gladion just from BATTLING him. Always wondering why his theme felt so familiar.

And you're telling me IT'S A REMIX OF A TRACK FROM ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES IN PMD???? THE ONLY ONE THAT USED TO GUARANTEED MAKE ME CRY BACK IN THE DAY????

[starlyte-writes]

Moving on from the angsty drabble I posted yesterday

Was thinking about the whole “c!Wilbur being a dictator during his presidency” thing because I still can’t believe how much that post blew up and I have another addition to it:

The definition of a dictator is: a ruler with total power over a country, typically one who has obtained power by force.

While yes, when they won the war Wilbur declared himself as president, it still wasn’t by force. By force implies that the citizens argued against it, fought back and insisted that they get a say.

No one had been against Wilbur being in charge. They legitimately all just were like, “yeah, okay, epic,” and moved on. He also wasn’t a tyrant (definition: a cruel and oppressive ruler) because, like general-light pointed out, he never stopped his citizens from doing anything. And when he did, it was him just speaking against it, and the things he’d be speaking against were wars, because he didn’t want anything other than peace in his nation.

So, yeah, Wilbur definitely wasn’t a dictator, he couldn’t have been, because he hardly controlled anything of the country, really kinda just gave his opinions sometimes and hoped they’d listen, and no one was against him being president, so it wasn’t by force.

Also, this one’s more of just my take, but with the whole “he rigged the election” argument that thing literally falls apart after a couple minutes. Yes, he was going to rig the election, but once that failed, instead of calling it off and just saying “nah I change my mind” which he totally could’ve done considering he was the one installing the election to begin with, he was fine with it. He allowed Quackity to join, allowed Fundy and Schlatt to join even later despite them missing the deadline.

Not only that, but when Schlatt had won, he was totally ready to be a law-abiding citizen! Sure, he wasn’t happy about losing, but if you go back to the election results VOD, he’s literally just calmly congratulating Schlatt on his victories and tells Tommy “we’re citizens tonight.” A dictator nor a tyrant would do that.

Also also, he wanted to rig the election initially because no one was listening to him as a president. It wasn’t because he wanted to control his citizens, it was because his people kept getting into war when his nation was all about safety and peace. If he reinforced the idea that his opinion should be acknowledged in his people, then he could finally stop all these wars (the civil war between Fundy and Tubbo, the pet war) from happening.

Idk man, he was never a perfect president, maybe even not a great one. But he had good intentions, wasn’t a tyrant/dictator, and is still known as the president with the most peaceful term.

So ha friends >:)

(/j I love you I literally meant the earlier post as a joke but haha anyway)

[icecoldflames]

Home Is Where The Heart Is (Sanders Sides)

Based off of WandaVision (this AU is in a world that isn’t quite the mind palace and isn’t quite the real world. There are no spoilers for the actual WandaVision show and I don’t think you need to have watched the show in order to read this)

Past Romantic Logicality

Warnings: Patton is dead, angst, Remus’ dirty jokes

*Sigh* This fic has taken me what feels like ages to write. I wrote most of it all in one go but I just couldn’t manage to write the second half. And so it stayed in my drafts for months. But it’s finally finished!

I hope you don’t mind me tagging you, @jessibbb. I saw your post while I was writing the beginning! I’m pretty shocked we both chose the same ship for this AU.

Anyways, enjoy!

***

Roman didn’t realise anything was wrong until he woke up one morning and the mind palace was empty and quiet. No one was in the kitchen making breakfast and no one was on the sofa.

For the past couple of weeks, Roman had been non-stop working on a screenplay that he had had in his mind for at least two years. He was afraid his motivation would suddenly slump so he had been spending more and more time in his own room, writing away.

Roman quietly began making himself a fried egg, trying to wrack his brain to figure out what happened to everybody. Did they all go on a trip somewhere? Without him? Maybe they didn't want to disturb him when he was in his writing groove.

As Roman sat down at the kitchen table, he only just recalled Virgil telling the rest of the sides that he was going to try to help Logan after what happened to Patton...

Had Roman seen Virgil since then? Roman honestly couldn’t remember. But then Roman remembered scarfing down his supper one day and Janus telling them that he was worried about Logan and Virgil.

As for Roman’s twin brother, Remus wasn’t really one to tell the other sides their plans.

Roman ate the rest of his fried egg in silence, trying to piece together the last few weeks. By the end of it, Roman had a broad idea of what he had missed. Logan had locked himself in his room after what happened with Patton. And Virgil, who had been worried for him, went in a couple days later. Then, Janus, worried for the both of them, went in next.

In both events, Virgil and Janus had gone into Logan’s room and not returned, at least as far as Roman knew.

Roman tried to ignore the feeling that something was wrong and wrote another couple of pages of his screenplay. But the silence of the mind palace nagged at the back of his mind so much that he decided to take a break at 11:30.

He feared that he would spiral into a writer’s block because of this. But he was more worried for his friends who walked into Logan’s room and hadn’t come out. He missed the domesticity of the mind palace. Virgil was always one for night time snacks. And Janus always came to the large bay window in the afternoon when the sun was the strongest.

Roman stood in front of Logan’s door and hesitantly knocked. “Lo?” He asked. “Are the others in there with you? Are you okay?” Roman knocked again on the door to no answer. He contemplated coming back to the door later that night but Roman slowly laid his hand on the doorknob. It twisted open.

Roman slowly pushed the door open. At first glance, the room looked normal, if not a little messy. But Roman could see a breathing lump in the bed that resembled Logan’s sleeping position—sleeping on his back, like a log.

But, at a closer look, the doorway looked to have some kind of shimmery film over it. It reminded Roman of when he would create worlds inside his own room to explore. His door was always there, no matter the world, and that silvery film would be across his doorway. All Roman would have to do is step through that silvery barrier and he’d be back in the mind palace, right in front of his doorway.

Roman frowned and brought his face up close to Logan’s door, his nose almost passing through the barrier. As far as he knew, he was the only side who could create worlds from his imagination. He was creativity, after all.

Roman straightened up. Maybe Logan somehow got the powers to create worlds and he and the others were lost and couldn’t find their way back. It was the only possibility Roman could think of. He closed his eyes and stepped through Logan’s door.

When Roman opened his eyes, he was in a hallway that resembled the one in the mind palace that held each side’s rooms. But, when Roman looked closer he found family pictures on the wall.

Roman was taken aback as he noticed these pictures were all of Logan and Patton in different places—at the park having a picnic, laying on the beach, in the library, at a Build-a-Bear.

None of the places were familiar. They didn't even live near a Build-a-Bear.

Roman slowly inspected each photograph. He halted at the last photo in the hallway. Logan and Patton standing behind two pearly-teethed children.

“That’s little Arthur and Connie.”

Roman spun around and legitimately pinched himself at the sight of Patton in front of him. His smile was uncannily large and he looked real...lifelike. Roman resisted the urge to tackle him into a bearhug.

What had Logan done?

“Uh, I’m Roman,” Roman extended a hand. Surely this was just some kind of fake Patton. Something like a ghost.

But Patton shook Roman’s hand happily. He was as solid as Roman himself. “Nice to meet you, I’m Patton.” Patton didn’t look the least bit confused as to how Roman got inside this weird house.

Roman swallowed. “Um, excuse me,” he managed to say. “I-I have to go. Sorry.” He turned to find the first window he saw, the hallway window. It was tiny but Roman pried it open and wiggled through. He could feel the sweat bead down the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” he said again and ran as far away as he could.

Roman ran a hand through his hair as he ran through an unfamiliar town. He past familiar faces on the way. Joan going into the grocery store. Tayln on the bench talking to Jamal. Valerie and Terrence buying samosas from the man on the side of the street they always passed when going on their runs. Roman could see people in a nearby cafe and in an office, drinking their coffees and clicking at their computers. Everyone seemed completely unconcerned.

Everyone here must be created by Logan, Roman rationalised. Roman could often create people in his own worlds too, solid ones like the occasional royal for his story, but they required incredible mental strength and they all took a toll on him because he was the one who had to control their every move.

Creating all these people and controlling them all? Roman had been creating worlds since he was a child and he still could only create and control seven people, max.

Creating and controlling an entire city? It was impossible. How had Logan done it then? Roman couldn’t wrap his head around everything.

He passed a gas station and almost did a double take. Virgil was blowing bubble gum behind the counter.

Roman raced inside the gas station and the bell tinkled above.

“What pump?” Virgil asked boredly, not looking up from his phone.

“Virgil! It’s me, Roman!” Roman exclaimed, running up to the desk, out of breath. “Where have you been? What has happened to Logan?”

Virgil blew an especially large bubble before looking up at Roman. “Look, man, I’m just a minimum wage worker. Just choose what you want to buy and I’ll ring you up.”

“No, that’s not—”

“You want to rob the joint?” Virgil opened the cash and turned to look back at his phone. “Go ahead, I don’t care.”

Roman leaned over the desk. “Your phone isn’t even on! Virgil, what is wrong with you? You’ve got to help me! I think Logan is stuck in this world he accidentally made!” Roman placed a hand on Virgil’s forearm.

As if waking up from a bad nightmare, Virgil jolted like he was electrocuted and he blinked rapidly. His breathing became erratic. “You have to help us, Roman.” Virgil’s voice was hoarse and pained. His eyes were wild. “It’s Logan! You have to stop him!”

“What do you mean ‘it’s Logan’?” Roman asked, shaking Virgil a little by the shoulders. “I know he created this world. Have you seen Patton? And they have children?”

Virgil opened his mouth to reply but, as if someone grabbed him by the neck, he gasped for air. Roman stepped back, scared. What was happening? Virgil blinked a couple more times. He rolled his eyes and blew a large pink bubble. “So, what is it that you’d like to buy?”

Roman looked at Virgil incredulously. “What the hell,” he muttered, waving a hand in front of Virgil’s face.

“Dude, if you aren’t going to buy anything, just leave. Go annoy some other random minimum wage worker,” Virgil said dryly, looking back at his phone.

Roman put a hand on Virgil’s shoulders again and the other side jolted again. “Ro! He knows you’re here. You have to go,” he gasped in a strained voice. His face changed and he popped another bubble. “I won’t hesitate to call the cops,” Virgil said, leaning sourly on the counter.

Roman sprinted out of the gas station as fast as he could. He stood in the middle of the empty street and desperately looked for a hiding spot. His eyes saw the large brick building of the library. Probably not the best place to hide; Logan could be in there for all he knew.

Roman ran inside the building next to it, a squat little one room schoolhouse. When he came inside, the wooden desks were completely empty except for the teachers desk which held...

“Janus!” Roman exclaimed, fast-walking down the aisles of tiny desks to the larger desk where Janus was sitting, a grin plastered on his face.

“Hello,” Janus greeted, almost robotically. “Are you here to sign up your child for school?”

Roman reached out to touch Janus’ shoulder, to break whatever hold Logan had on him, but paused inches from the yellow cloth. It seemed that Logan could detect when people were no longer under his control. Example: Virgil.

But Roman needed somebody else’s help. As much as he boasted about being the knight in shining armour and being able to, single-handedly, save damsels in distress, Logan was an actual person who was going through tough emotions—not a figment of Roman’s imagination.

He stood in front of Janus’ still body, staring into his blank stare. Was it worth trying to get Janus on his side? He’d always have to be near the side so Logan wouldn’t try to control him again.

“I didn’t know Mr. Stick Up His Ass had a sense of humour. Putting Janus in the role of a school teacher?” Remus snort-laughed. “I need to hang out with him more after he’s through with his crisis.”

“Remus?” Roman exclaimed, spinning around and seeing his brother leaning against the large bookshelf. “Wha—How?”

Remus spun his moustache around his finger. “Thought this world might be fun. Instead, I get a dead side returned, a brother who’s too stuck in his own world to realise anyone’s missing, and a side who is too love-stricken that he manages to create an entire world.”

“But how are you not under Logan’s control?” Roman said, turning his attention away from Janus and to his twin brother.

Remus frowned and placed a hand to his heard. “I’m offended, Ro, I’m also creativity. Whatever you can do, I can do.”

Roman paused, thinking this through. Remus did have a point. “How long have you been here?”

“A couple of weeks, in this world’s time. We’re as stuck in Logan’s world as a wet booger on a finger.”

“And you haven’t tried to talk to Logan?” Roman asked, exasperatedly.

“Who do you think I am? A therapist or something? I’m just a fun guy who eats fungi.” Remus blew a raspberry.

Roman wiped off Remus’ spit from his own face and began dragging his brother out the door. “Two is better than one. C’mon, we need to help Logan. He’s grieving.”

“Isn’t time the answer to everything?” Remus asked, shaking free of Roman’s grip. “Just leave him be. He’ll eventually figure his stuff out.”

“And how long will that be? A month? A year? No, Remus, we need to help Logan. He’s created a fake Patton, that isn’t healthy.”

“Well I think that Logan is getting through this in his own way,” Remus said. “We shouldn’t try to push him too much. Who knows what he’ll do? He could create a Godzilla for all I know.”

“We need to go speak with Logan,” Roman stated.

“We?” Remus repeated.

“Fine. I’ll speak with Logan. You can just be there for moral support,” Roman said with a sigh. He felt stronger with his brother next to him and maybe he could get through to Logan by himself.

***

Logan’s house was painted a bright blue and had kids toys littered around the yard. The flowers around looked almost fake. Neighbours around the cul-de-sac smiled and waved from their porches.

“Logan looks happy here. What if we just left him in this alternate world?” Remus’ voice was quiet and surprisingly serious as they climbed the couple of stairs to Logan’s doorstep.

Roman turned to Remus, mouth agape. “Are you kidding me? Logan has created an entire town with kids and a husband who is actually dead. You don’t see a problem with Logan living in a lie? Besides, we’re stuck here too. Or have you forgotten?”

Remus leaned against the house and dug his hands into his pockets. “I dunno. But I just think reality will catch up with him soon enough. Anyways, he can’t keep up this charade forever. And living here isn’t too bad. There are no repercussions to anything I do.” Remus grinned toothily and was inches away from knocking on the door.

The door swung open itself. “Hello! Is there anything I can do for you?” Patton asked, looking down at Roman and Remus curiously.

“Is your…erm…husband home?” Roman asked, suddenly uncomfortable. He didn’t like seeing Patton alive again. It made him miss the old side who used any opportunity to make cookies.

“He is! He’s making supper now for us and the kiddos—”

“What do you want, Roman?” Logan’s voice came from behind Patton. His voice seemed strong and concise which was nothing different. But when Patton moved over a little to make space for Logan, Roman noticed a clear tiredness behind his facade.

“I want to speak with you…privately,” Roman replied, glancing over at Logan. Whether or not Patton was fully under Logan’s control, Roman wasn’t sure he wanted to openly talk about Patton’s death in front of Patton.

“I want whatever you’ve made for supper,” Remus interrupted loudly, elbowing his way around Patton and Logan, disappearing down a hallway.

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply.

“Do you know those guys?” Patton asked quietly, his eyebrows drawn down in confusion. “Are they friends from your time at uni?”

Uproarious laughter came from, presumably, the kitchen. “Patton, can you go check on the kids and make sure Remus isn’t teaching them anything inappropriate?” Logan nodded his head in the direction of the kitchen.

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” He made his way down the hallway, glancing back only once.

As soon as Patton was out of view, Logan grabbed viciously at Roman’s shirt sleeve and began dragging him across the living room. “You’re lucky I can’t control you,” Logan muttered through gritted teeth. They made their way to a closed door which banged open as soon as Logan flicked his wrist.

Logan pushed Roman down onto the bed. He crossed his arms. “You have five minutes to talk to me and then I’m going to kick you and Remus out and will not be allowing you two back in.”

The entire monologue Roman had been planning out in his head on his way here completely evaporated. Whatever he had been planning to say was logical and coherent. But now that he was facing Logan, he couldn’t remember anything. His eyes found a picture to the left of Logan’s furrowed brow.

It was a glossy photo of Patton in Disney World, a Mickey hat on his head, and laughing into the camera. Another event that never actually happened.

But Roman’s eyes were drawn to it. His words came out before he could stop them. “I miss him. He always knew what to say to us to make us feel better.” Roman couldn’t count how many times Patton had helped him get over a break-up or through an especially rough writer's block.

Logan’s strained face softened, following Roman’s gaze to the photograph. He took the frame off the wall and stared at it. When he looked back up at Roman, his face was even stonier than before. “Then you understand why I have to do this.”

“Logan…I…I know what you’re going through. We all do. Patton was our missing puzzle piece. With him gone, it does feel empty. But we can’t change what’s already happened,” Roman tried, gently pulling the photo of Patton out of Logan’s grip.

“You don’t know anything about what I’m feeling,” Logan grimaced and yanked the photo back. “And I’m perfectly content in this alternate universe I’ve created. It was going great before you arrived.”

“Logan, I’m worried for you. Virgil and Janus and I are worried for you. Remus probably is as well. Patton wouldn’t want you to be like this. He’d want you to come back with us.”

“Don’t you dare speak for Patton,” Logan growled, jabbing a finger in Roman’s face. “And if Patton can’t come back, I’m not coming back.”

“Is that the kind of life you want to live forever?” Remus’ voice came from the doorway. Even Roman was surprised to see his brother. Logan whirled around. “To live with a man who has died with children who don’t exist? To be constantly feeding them memories about their fake life and then feeling left out as they talk about them because you can’t give yourself those same happy memories?” Remus’ voice was like a viper and his words were much more intense than what Roman had been planning.

Yet the words actually seemed to get through to Logan. His Adam’s apple bobbed and he quietly placed the framed photo back up on the wall, meticulously straightening it.

Logan’s next words came out soft and broken, staring at Patton’s photo, pointedly avoiding Roman or Remus’ gaze. “I can’t just go back and forget about him.”

“We aren’t asking you to forget about him, Lo,” Roman begged. “We would never ask you to do that. In fact, once we all get back, we should keep his memory alive.”

“Figuratively alive, of course,” Remus interjected, a slight smirk on his face.

Roman silenced Remus with a glare. You aren’t helping. “Do you remember how Patton always knew our hot chocolate orders by heart during movie night?” Roman asked. “Extra marshmallows for me, milk in Virgil’s, piping hot and whipped cream in Janus’—“

“—Mine with some marshmallows and filled to the brim with,” Remus tried and failed to hold in his laughter, “cream.”

“I’d have plain and Patton would have extra everything,” Logan reminisced with a smile.

“Remember when I accidentally spread some kind of sickness with my…prank…and Patton, even though he was also sick, made the time to help all of us?” Remus poked a toy on the floor with the tip of his shoe.

“He always gave the best gifts too,” Logan continued, a nostalgic smile on his face. “I still use my antler pencil when organizing everyone’s calendar.”

“I love the deodorants he gave me!” Remus exclaimed.

“Logan,” Roman began in a gentle voice, meeting the other side’s eyes. “Why don’t we all head home and sit around the couch, telling each other our memories of Patton?” He began to stand up and gently laid a hand on Logan’s forearm. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Logan’s arm flexed under Roman’s grip. Uh oh. “What’s that saying?” Logan said slowly, his voice growing icy. “Home is where the heart is?” He jerked his arm away from Roman and pushed him backward onto the bed. “I can’t go home. There is no home anymore because he has my heart.” Logan’s voice broke and his legs collapsed underneath him. Roman and Remus barely made it to soften his fall.

“Patton is dead,” Logan managed to choke out, hiding his eyes with his hands. Roman squeezed Logan into a hug. Remus began to awkwardly pat his back. “This is the only place where I feel anything worthwhile. Without Patton…I’m…I feel like a robot. Like an empty shell of myself.”

“Logan?” Patton’s voice was small and all three of the sides whipped their heads around to see Patton standing outside of the doorway. His eyes were wide and his hands were shoved in his pockets. “What did you mean when you said that I’m dead?”

“Patton, I—I can explain,” Logan instantly stood up from the floor and wiped his eyes, taking his glasses off to clean them in his shirt. He then took a step towards Patton, an arm outstretched.

But Patton stepped away from Logan’s hand, fear clearly written on his face. “What’s happening? While you were inside here, it’s like the world froze. Even Connie and Arthur. When I ventured outside, I saw two other men running towards our house, telling me that I had to talk some sense into you, Logan, and that I was dead.” Patton paused and Roman saw that his hands were shaking. “I don’t know what’s real anymore. Am I dead?”

“Patton,” Logan started, glancing behind him at Roman and Remus. “I—I’ve not been entirely honest with you. Actually, I’ve been completely lying to you.” Logan gently took Patton’s face into his hands and when Patton re-opened his eyes, Roman had a sense that Patton knew. He knew everything.

“After…after you died, I couldn’t handle it. I stayed in bed for days on end, not doing anything but think of you and cry. I hardly slept. I don’t know how long this went on for until, one day, I woke up, and I walked down this street where you, Connie and Arthur were playing outside. When the three of you saw me, all of your eyes lit up and began exclaiming, ‘dad’s home! Dad’s home!’”

A tear ran down Logan’s cheek and he frantically rubbed it away. “It was like my perfect fantasy. You were alive and well and we had a beautiful family. As time went on, I remembered conversations I had with Roman and began creating an entire city around us, with people, businesses, and schools. I started giving you and the kids memories of trips we didn’t take, things we didn’t do.

“It was exhausting but I was actually happy. I was laughing and, even though it wasn’t real, I was living. You taught me happiness. I feel like I’ll never feel it again” His words hung thick in the air.

“Pat,” Logan said, this time too many tears on his cheeks for him to wipe away. “I don’t want to go back home if it means leaving you. I can’t do it again. I’m not strong enough.”

Patton brought Logan in for a hug and quickly kissed his nose. “You are strong enough. You, Logan, are one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. And you can and will leave. You’re destined for great things out there, Logan Sanders. And I will be forever proud of you. Promise me you’ll try to live life to its fullest, to stop and smell the roses, to be happy once again. Maybe it’ll hurt less as time goes on, maybe it won’t. Maybe you’ll smile when my name is mentioned after a few years, or maybe it’ll still leave your chest aching and your eyes stinging. I can’t promise you it won’t be hard once you leave, but you have to promise me you’ll try to be okay.”

Patton’s lip quirked up. “Besides, think about it, because you conjured me up, I’ll always be a part of you once you leave.” Patton placed a hand over Logan’s heart. “I’ll always be inside of you.”

Remus snickered and Roman elbowed him in the gut.

“I promise,” Logan said, either not hearing Remus or deciding to ignore him. “I’ll try for your sake.”

Patton smiled and hugged Logan one last time. “Come, the kids are all ready for bed. How about one last goodnight?”

Logan seemed to want to reject the idea but bit his tongue. He nodded curtly and glanced at Patton, “one last bedtime story?”

Patton smiled and nodded as well. The two of them began to walk down the hall, their arms around each other’s waists.

Once Roman could hear voices in a nearby room, he began to sit up from the bed that he had slowly made his way to once Patton appeared. “I can’t believe you,” he muttered to Remus. “You have to turn everything into a dirty joke, don’t you?”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Remus said, fluttering his eyelashes. “Besides,” he said, shaking his head, “everything turned out alright, didn’t it?”

Roman sighed as they made their way outside to give Patton and Logan some privacy. “I suppose it did. And…you did good back there, Remus.” Roman awkwardly rubbed his neck. “Thank you.”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up in surprise but, before he could say anything, Virgil and Janus came barrelling towards them.

“Roman!” Virgil exclaimed, “you did it!”

Roman shrugged his shoulders and glanced at his twin brother. “Honestly? It was a team effort. Remus was the one to get through to him at first.”

“Really?” Virgil asked while Janus just smiled a little over at Remus.

Roman nodded and then asked, “are you two alright?” He couldn’t imagine what being under Logan’s “spell” was like. He didn’t think he’d ever ask. He was glad everyone else in the town was completely imaginary or copies of other people in the real world.

“A little drowsy, to be completely honest with you,” Janus replied with a half-smile.

“That was not my experience,” Virgil grumbled, arms crossed. “It was like I was in a constant battle. ‘Walk,’ Logan’s voice would tell me. ‘No,’ I would tell him back. Back and forth and back and forth.”

The four sides went silent as the door to Logan and Patton’s house opened. Patton and Logan exchanged one last word with one another before they kissed and Patton closed the door shut. Logan jogged down to where Roman and the others stood.

“It’s time to go home,” Logan said, trying to sound brave but his wobbly voice gave him away.

Logan made a flourish with his hands and an opened door appeared in front of all of them. “I think this might be the first and last time I create a world,” he said. “My hypothesis is that I was going through such a great deal of grief that I touched into a power that all of us have but only Roman and Remus have access to it easily and on a larger scale.”

Roman smiled and placed a comforting hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Let’s all sit on the couch together. We can watch a movie and talk about our memories with Patton.”

“I think I have a bunch of photos in a box under my bed and pinned around my room,” Virgil added in. “You could make a scrapbook.”

Logan took in a deep, steadying, breath. He turned around to look at the blue house behind him before saying, “I’d like that. And, um, if you guys want, I can prepare everyone some hot chocolate.”

And, with that, Logan stepped through the door.

[ks-caster]

Beth Liveblogs Black Widow

Bought that premium access on Disney+ so I can have the privilege of pausing for snacks and using subtitles as needed - so let’s go! 

Beth’s Spoiler-Free Review: Overall I thoroughly enjoyed the movie - the plot was compelling, the characters were likable, and the stunts were really excellent. I felt like hair and makeup dropped the ball on realism multiple times which I was sad about, because how she looks seems to be pretty important to Nat so I expected it to be done well in her movie. 

I did not like the way they framed the tail end (denouement - obviously because this movie is mid-series we know how it ends to an extent) - I felt like the connect-up to Infinity War was lackluster, especially compared to how enjoyable and dynamic the rest of the film was.

Spoilery live-reactions are under the cut. Click at own risk! Feel free to rebagel with your own impressions, thoughts, jokes and rebuttals!

The movie begins with a young Nat with blue dyed hair and visible roots, showing her natural red. Do you know how hard it is to get natural red out of hair, enough to make it blue and not green? And I’m supposed to believe that a middle-school age girl in 1995 Ohio had access to these chemicals? I’ll give her the white hair in IW/Endgame because she’s an adult with a lot of experience as a spy altering her appearance. But as a child? In the 90s? While her family is apparently in hiding? Sus.

The scene with Alexei laying on the on the wing while Nat learns to fly? AMAZING stunts. Amazing. AND someone in an action movie is finally smart enough to shoot the tires.

Nice skills on young Nat, getting the gun. Since we know from Endgame that Nat’s father is named Ivan, we know that Alexei isn’t really her dad. She also refers to presumably the red room as going “back.” Was she lent out to these agents to legitimize their family?

-0-

Nice knife moves, Yelena - I love the hand switch.

Ooooh so she was being mind controlled and the red stuff freed her? Interesting.

-0-

Nat is in Norway - visit Thor! He’d love to have you. (I’m mixing up my timeline, aren’t I?)

Supplies Dude whose name I didn’t catch refers to the Avengers breakup as a divorce - I kinda love it. It’s accurate!

BUDAPEST omg are we finally going to get the story?? Are we??

Box dye? I’m supposed to believe she got all that red out of her hair with flippin’ Loreal? Really? And that toner isn’t even the color she ultimately went - it’s too yellow. Sus.

-0-

Oop, looks like Nat got caught up in Yelena’s desertion.

Do not give Nat your metal frisbee, robocop - she’s been around Steve long enough that she knows how to use it.

I laughed out loud when she did the string him up thing with the cables - literal spider move, I love it!

Mystery box is empty - classic bait and switch.

-0-

BUDAPEST - WE ARE IN BUDAPEST - IT’S HAPPENING PEOPLE

Nat closing the door behind her is a small thing but I appreciate it - no sneaking up behind her.

When Yelena throws Nat in the kitchen and her feet hit the door and she spins before she hits the ground? That was a helluva stunt.

Oooooh honey. No body left to check is ALWAYS movie code for they lived.

Dreykov’s daughter? Another hint from Avengers 2012? C’mon, movie.

Riding the chimney down? Another incredible stunt. 

Dreykov can scan his soldiers’ bodies and terminate them if they’re too damaged to keep fighting? Big yikes. With Nat where she is character development wise, the stakes are now much higher because if she injures an opponent they may be killed remotely.

“Do you want me to chase him down and un-steal it?”

The car door under the bike was an excellent stunt - as was the car going into the subway. Though I’ve never seen a subway entrance big enough to admit a car.

Who hasn’t wanted to slide down the middle to avoid the crowded escalators lol.

Yelena making fun of Nat’s sexy poses I am LIVING omg.

Running water for wounds. RUNNING WATER. NOT ALCOHOL. The vodka goes on the INSIDE for the pain - the running water cleans the OUTSIDE. If there’s a convenience store then there’s a bathroom, with running water. Cleansing with something like alcohol is a LAST RESORT and you do not look like you’re at that point resource-wise. I thought these ladies were supposed to be highly trained in all of the things?

“Could be fun though.” “I saw where he put the keys” “Top drawer green cabinet.” I love their chaos.

Yelena’s vest and its pockets and the resulting conversation are positively majestic.

“You are sensitive.” “You’re a very annoying person.”

-0-

Do! Not! Move! Around! Like! That! While! Getting! A! Tattoo!!!! That poor artist was trying his best and Alexei just...

Ooooh was Red Guardian like Captain Russia? Interesting.

“Just don’t make a scene.” “You made a scene didn’t you.”

David Harbor running up that wall and then wiping out after the guard shocks him... I really loved that stunt, especially since they don’t show him being all super cut - he’s a big guy! He’s allowed to have fat over his muscles and still be a strong dude! I love it.

“Such a poser.” Girl, you need to meet Loki - he does a lot of hair flips too lol.

The sibling energy between the girls during the rescue!!!

“Whooooooa... this would be a cool way to die.” Yelena, I’m not necessarily disagreeing with you but get your head in the game girl.

Poor Alexei - he never gets to do the dramatic escape from *inside* of the aircraft.

Hang on, no ovaries? So all of these women are now in immediate, surgically-induced menopause? The uterus part makes sense if the intent was to prevent them from getting pregnant if they have sex during a mission, but, what, they gotta be on estrogen supplements for the rest of their lives? That’s just really poor planning. Like it was hilarious the way Yelena went into the biology of it to make Alexei uncomfortable, but that really doesn’t make sense to do to your superhero kids. It’s just bad science.

Love that Yelena keeps her vest even after she changes into her matching white flight suit. That vest better make it to the end of the movie.

-0-

“Honey, we’re home.” I 100% expected her to shoot him on sight tbh. it would have been funny.

Alexei squeezing into the uniform is such a post-pandemic feel. Also all of the fancy braids at that table; I see where Natasha got her propensity for them.

Animal cruelty warning, ugh. Poor piggy Alexei.

Oooh the photo album and Natasha remembered staging the pictures; they’re emotional for her but in a different way.

I wonder if robocop’s shield is actually Alexei’s.

The singing between Alexei and Yelena was a really beautiful moment because it was neither auto-tuned-good nor hilariously bad - it felt really real, especially the way Yelena’s so choked up she can barely make sounds come out.

Uh-oh, mama has one of those monitor your vitals and kill your ass suits. The suits I understand - the eyeliner though... when and why did she do her makeup?? That’s not really the thing that comes to mind for me when I’m getting ready to do something athletic, like say kidnapping my supersoldier fake family.

“This is a much less cool way to die.” Also WTF why would they do that. Wouldn’t it be easier to get the information out of her while her brain is still attached to, y’know, her mouth??

CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER they switched outfits and faces ooooooh like mother like daughter.

The door opening as Alexei is leaning against it dramatically bahahahaha

I love the plan. I’m thoroughly weirded out that Melina has a red wig just lying around that perfectly immitates Natasha though. 

“Yelena, it’s mama. You have a two-inch blade in your belt.”

Oh. My. God.

Antonia.

A pheromone lock preventing them from hurting them if they’re close enough to smell him - I like it. It’s clever and new.

Bahahaha poser! You posed I saw you! Still love the vest.

Natasha is really good at manipulating people’s emotions to get what she wants - I mean, scary good. So if she’s provoking Dreykov into beating her up, there’s a reason. 

“Using the only resource the world has too much of - girls.” Kill him. 

-0-

When I say I whooped out loud... SEVERING THE NERVE. Thank you for your cooperation. YAAAAAAS QUEEN.

-0-

“Slight change of plans - we are going into a controlled crash.” The way she said that was just so mom-like omg!

-0-

The grenade as a delivery system was super smart - but yikes what if she’d mistimed it and blew Natasha up? Also, after the beating she took and how hard she had to wack her own face into the desk to sever her olfactory nerve and the amout of blood we saw her leave behind from doing that, her face should be a LOT more messed up, come on makeup department.

“Get as far away from here as possible.” And then keep going because General I-Collect-Supersoldiers-Like-Stamps Ross is about to turn up at your location looking for trouble and he’d snap you ladies up like there’s a fire sale and you’re going out of stock.

This crash doesn’t look all that controlled, Melina. I’m starting to suspect that most of the widows won’t live long enough to make their own decisions...

All of the aerial stunts were amaaaaaazing - the way Nat slowed herself by sliding down the panels so Antonia could catch up with her and she could deploy her parachute... 

The vest survived the movie!!!

Fuuuuuck Ross is showing up and he sucks and I hate him and I’m super worried that he’s gonna take the vest from Nat if he takes her into custody. Please don’t let her lose the vest. 

Okay, there is now zero reason for Nat to stay behind. They have an aircraft. She had plenty of time to just board it and leave?

-0-

Okay okay okay Ross did not get her and did not take the vest. But am I supposed to believe she bleached her hair, toned it blonde, and then re-bleached and re-toned it to silver? Who does that? That would be terrible for her hair. Her scalp would be burned all to hell from the amount of chemicals needed to not only get all that red out but THEN get the blonde toner out. Y’know what color silver toner is? Blue/purple. Y’know what happens when you mix that with yellow? Green. And not a nice green either (I speak from experience). No. Her hair at the end of the movie? Cancelled. 

-0-

SHE GOT THE DOG!!!

Oh, ouch. Big ouch. I hurt like a lot now. This is so not an okay way to end the -

...

Countess I-Forgot-Your-Name-Already?

Oh no. Oh no. That’s worse. That’s a lot worse. We are now setting up the Hawkeye series and I while I’m horrified that this was how they ended the film, I gotta say that’s going to make for some wonderful angst in that series on both Clint and Yelena’s parts and I am here for it!

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I really, really enjoyed this movie, I thought the story was compelling, the stunts were really excellent, and I liked the character dynamics and the twist

I did not like the ending - it just sort of fell off quickly and didn’t feel satisfying after an otherwise really fun movie. I also take issue with the hair and makeup as shown among the characters, as seen in my several rants to that effect.

I would have liked to have seen a few more childhood/training flashbacks, and absolutely would have loved a cameo from Jeremy Renner (not just his voice) and to see him and Nat meeting and him giving her the whole dad speech that he does so well - bonus points if she could have then quoted him to Yelena or Antonia, showing the way that multiple people had a formative effect on her (an answer to the “The Avengers aren’t really your family either” comment).

[paradiselostbythedashboardlight]

Quarantine, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Wrote 430,943 Words of Prose in a Year

As we are coming up terrifyingly fast on a full year of quarantine with no end to the pandemic yet in sight for most people, I’ve been taking some time to reflect on the last year of my existence in a state that most people now refer to as quarantine. Since March of 2020, I, like most other sane people in my country, have stopped traveling, going to stores, seeing all but a limited group of other humans, and begun having recurring nightmares about being in crowds without a piece of cloth over my nose and mouth.

Suffice to say, it has been a bit stressful.

The other thing that I have done since COVID-19 began rapidly spreading across the globe last year is write over 430,943 words of fiction. 

The number seems insane to me still. That is (approximately) one Gone With The Wind, one entire Lord of the Rings series, or the first four Harry Potter books. That is still sadly not yet War and Peace (but who knows… the pandemic isn’t over yet).

So now that I am looking back, I find myself with one question: how did this happen? Why did I do this? What does this mean about my life this year?

Since apparently I answer best by writing a lot, let’s begin at the beginning. Let me tell you a story. I’ll keep it short, I swear.

Part 1: Blast From the Past

In March of 2020, I was still in the midst of an academic semester. There was a long academic document to write and a class to teach. However, as quarantine abruptly robbed me of most of my usual commitments, I was suddenly thrust into the position of having more time on my hands than I knew what to do with. Consequently, I decided to break out the Nintendo Switch I’d gotten for Christmas and revive a childhood interest in video games.

And boy did I. I played the games I owned for all they were worth. I played them during the evenings when I had no social engagements to attend. I played them during the Zoom meetings I was already struggling to pay attention to. By the end of March, I had finished one game, and it had set the wheels turning in my brain.

Here’s a fact about me: I don’t usually tend to write or read a lot of fanfiction about things that I consider really really good. Basically, fanfiction for me has always been an impulse born from incompletion or imperfection. I see no need to add to a perfect story (although I happily consume and create fanart). But for something enjoyable and yet slightly unsatisfying? That’s fanfic territory, bud.

So by April, I had developed a sort of epic fanfiction for this video game I was playing. It was one of those magnum opus kind of ideas, a grand retelling of the story with a huge sprawling plot and Themes (™). 

At first, it was merely a thought experiment that lived only in my head, a sort of entertainment to ponder in the hours before falling asleep. What changed? Well, a friend of mine decided to also write a fanfiction on the same video game and she kindly consented to let me read it.

Suddenly, I was ravenously hungry to read and to write and to share and to consume. I wrote a hundred thousand words of this fanfic in April and into early May, sending each chapter to my friend and being spurred onward by her kind comments. 

The fic became a gargantuan endeavor full of strange little challenges I set for myself. It was a canon-divergence, requiring plotting, worldbuilding, a darker and grimer tone. For some reason, I decided to write each chapter from a different character’s perspective, making the final product into a series of essentially short story character studies which together formed a plot.

By the end of May, the story was published for the world to see. It was well-received, although not particularly popular by fandom standards. And that was the end. I had gotten out my pandemic crazies, the semester was over and now I could move on. I had made my peace with the source material, plumbing all of the little details that I wanted to examine and creating a narrative that I found satisfying.

It was over.

Part 2: Summer Lovin?

Except that it wasn’t.

Confession: as I had been posting my giant fanfiction, I had also begun to explore the fan community itself, mostly curious to see some nice art and gather a bit of demographic info about what was popular within the community. As a result, I found a fanfic recommendations page. Among the recommendations was one author who kept popping up and i finally decided to give the fic a read.

Woah. It was good. Like, really good. Like, professional quality writing and themes that seemed designed to appeal to me. I devoured everything that the creator had posted in a week and then subscribed to eagerly wait for more.

As June rolled around, I realized that I had a problem on my hands. My great big gen masterpiece was finished, but this author had gotten me hooked on something else, something with a nefarious reputation online: shipping.

The term du jour for this seems to be “brain worms” so let’s just say that reading other fanworks had given me some brain worms. Inspired this time not just by the source material of the game, but now the fan community itself, my mind began to develop another idea.

I wrote the fic, about 11k, in a single afternoon of frantic writing. When I finished it, I knew it was one of my strongest pieces. It had just come together, a combination of all the thought that I’d been brewing up and a stylistic execution that just worked with the story I wanted to tell.

I posted it on a new account. Shipping seemed vaguely shameful to me still and my mom reads the other account.

To my surprise, the fic blew up. It got so much more attention than my long fic ever had. Even more significantly, a fan artist actually drew a gorgeous comic of the pivotal scene, completely out of the blue! I was essentially thunderstruck. Honestly, it was probably the first time in my life that I’d ever received so much positive reinforcement from a piece of writing.

While I’d written short stories for undergrad workshops, they’d never been particularly good and I’d never gotten particularly great feedback on them. I’d applied and been rejected by more MFAs and literary magazines than I could count. I’d pretty much resigned myself to writing for an audience of me and me alone (which I don’t mean to sound tragic about, writing for you is great and fun!)

But receiving so much support and praise and feeling like I’d made other people happy or sad or moved? There’s nothing better.

This makes my decision to write another fic for the ship sound vaguely cynical, the action of a person driven by an addiction to praise. I mean, no lie, aren’t we all a little addicted to approval?

But my next fic was another long one, an 80k passion project modern AU that I dreamed up while spending a slow summer alone with my books and only able to leave the house for long rambling walks in the woods. The premise was essentially about characters attending a five year college reunion, something that I myself had missed due to COVID in May of the same year. The fic quickly became a way for me to process thoughts on a lot of topics in my life ranging from relationships to politics to mental health to classical literature.

This fic was also received with far more attention than I was used to and, as a result, I finally joined the notorious Twitter dot com where I found people talking about my fic unprompted, eager to follow me and like my every random thought.

I can’t say that this process was not without its ups and downs. Fandom has changed, in many ways for the better, since my last engagement with it during the 2013 Supernatural days on Tumblr. While fan friendships are often idealized or demonized, they are pretty much like any other human friendship (okay, maybe a little bit more horny on main). There is potential for amazing connection as well as pettiness. But in a year where many people suddenly had no social spaces that were safe anymore, I’m glad that I found a new line of communication with the world.  

So I kept writing fics for the ship, producing a lot of work that I am genuinely proud of and making connections with other people who enjoyed it enough to leave a comment.

To conclude this section, I was in fandom again. While I had not seriously engaged with a fan community since around 2014, I was back with a vengeance. And I had discovered an important truth about what unlocked my ability to write more than I ever had before: community support.

Not simply the kudos and the views. It was the comments. The discourse. The discussion. To add and contribute my thoughts and ideas to a greater network of thoughts and ideas that fed off of one another.

Often I had seen people complain about there not being enough fanworks for particular media or characters. Now I knew the secret. The comments and the community created the works. If I commented on other people’s fics, the more likely they were to write more. I made a resolution I have tried to keep, to comment on any story that I legitimately enjoyed reading, even if I had no particularly intelligent thing to say about it.

Part 3: A Novel Idea

By late October, I had produced a considering oeuvre for my ship of choice and was enjoying slowing my pace as I planned a few future projects.

Remember, though, how I mentioned not having engaged with fandom for the past 5 years? Well, that didn’t mean I hadn’t been writing.

For the past 4 years, I have won NaNoWriMo and completed 4 novels of over 100k each in length. These projects have been massively fun and improved my confidence with executing stories at the scope that I desire.

And so in November 2020, I settled down to write another novel. November is always a sort of terrible time write a novel if you work in academia, but this year, I had more time than usual. I set out to write a comedy fantasy novel, something mostly lighthearted and full of hijinks in order to pretend away some of the quarantine blues (which by this point were well established in my psyche).

This year in particular, I was reminded that writing a novel is… harder than fanfic. That seems like a very obvious point, but I’d written novels before. Suddenly, though, I was realizing how much a novel requires you to set up the world and the characters, while fanfic can be pretty much all payoff all the time.

While the fanfic flowed in wild creative bursts of energy, the novel required diligence of another sort. I wrote 2,000 words every day for two months. It was a grind. Sometimes, it was a slog. 

And sometimes it just wasn't good. The thing about writing your own novels is that the first draft is way more likely to be not good. You’re balancing a lot and it’s easy to let a few balls that you have in the air drop for a chapter or two, with no recourse but to go back and edit later.

I finished the novel by writing a final speedrun of 6k on new years eve, ending my 2020 with another project under my belt. No one has read it. Not even I have reread it.

I’m still glad that I wrote it. I’ll write another one next year. No one will read that one either.

Sometimes, we write for ourselves and no external validation is necessary.

Part 4: Where are they now?

January of 2021 is somehow now behind me, which is terrifying. I’m still writing. Mostly fanfic, although occasionally I go doodle around with some original ideas that are more conceptual sketches for the next novel.

As for the fanfic, I think I still have a few more good ideas left in me, but  I will probably leave it behind before the year is out. That feels a little bittersweet, a sort of temporary burst of fun and friendship that I wonder if I’ll ever experience again.

Coming to the end of this reflection, I suppose I should make a summative statement about what it all means.

In the end, it might not mean a lot. There are some small takeaways. 

It turns out that encouragement makes you write more! Who knew? Also, more free time makes you write more! Wow!!!!

The point that I think this reflection exercise has shown me, the point that I think matters more than any other, is that writing is a way to process my thoughts. Even if it is through the lens of ridiculous video game fanfic or novels about sad wizards, my writing is my way to make sense of my own mind. 

And sharing that is special. If you share it with online strangers, with your family on Christmas Eve, with your close friend who has become even closer and dearer to you since she let you read her work, or just with your mom (the one personal legally required to read your damn novel if you want to share it). To share writing is to give someone a little peek at your beliefs about the world.

And right now? When we’re still isolated and bored and scared and in desperate need of distraction? Binge some TV, play Nintendo, read a book. Take in other people’s thoughts.

But put down your own somewhere as well. It’s a conversation.

And for once, it’s a conversation that doesn’t have to take place on fucking Zoom.

[felixnation]

THE TOP 10 WORST KPOP SONGS OF 2020

(WARNING: I DON’T LIKE THESE SONGS AND WILL BE MEAN AT THEM. I DO NOT HAVE ANY PERSONAL BEEF WITH ANY OF THESE GROUPS OR ARTISTS SO DON’T COME FOR ME IF YOUR FAVE MADE A STINKER TRACK THIS YEAR.)

Ah, 2020. The year where disco came back, the 80s came back, and everyone was titling their songs after nonsense words. It was a good year for k-pop overall, with a lot of new trends entering the game towards the end of summer. However, there were some real clunkers that refused to get out of my head this quarantine and pissed me off to varying degrees each time I heard them. This list is an attempt to chronicle all of those.

So without further ado, let’s get this shit done.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

NCT 127 - PUNCH This isn't actually a bad song, hence it only making it to the honorable mentions section. In fact, I think this could've easily made the best list had it not been for one thing, and that's the presence of NCT 127, namely their rap line. The instrumental on this thing is absolutely killer and one of the best productions to come out of SM in a long time. The entire thing is bizarrely structured and incredibly gutsy, and therefore I think it's a travesty that an instrumental this incredible was drowned in ASMR-esque whispers and EYYYY WE BALLINs. There are a few salvageable sections, namely the first post-chorus, and we see glimmers of NCT 127's true potential, should they choose to explore this sound further.

CIGNATURE - NUN NU NAN NA Similar to Punch, I admire the production choices here - there are a few sections that blast you with 100gecs-esque womps, and that's always something I enjoy. The vast majority of the song rarely dips below decent territory, but since the entire thing hinges on the titular hook, it ends up falling apart right when it needs to bring the hype the most. I mean, building a hook around those notes was...an interesting choice, I guess. It reminds me a lot of fromis_9's FUN!, which also constructed the entire song around a terrible set of notes. Listen to them yell that hook at you and tell me it doesn't sound off. Most frustrating song of 2020.

ONG SEONG WU - GRAVITY Have you ever heard a drop this weak? I sure haven't. I hate the way he says DIVING INTO YOUR LOVE, the over-enunciation kills me and there's one syllable too many. Also, thanks Ong Seong Wu for giving CRAVITY the promo they deserve.

BTS - FLY TO MY ROOM I can't relax while listening to this, the beat is so sparse and has this nauseous sway to it that really makes me feel like I'm reliving these past 9 months of quarantine all over again. And just like quarantine, it really feels like this goddamn thing never ends. That final set of choruses is really a chore to get through, and I'm not the only one who thinks so - shout out to Taehyung for serving taste and I'm sorry Jimin convinced you to sing out of your natural range yet again.

TREASURE - MMM Ew.

I*ZONE - FIESTA It's a pretty standard girl group song up until that chorus hits and oh my god, who on earth produced this? Are they actively trying to trigger my psychosis? There are so many sounds happening that it feels like three or four demo tracks laid on top of each other, it makes me confused even trying to figure out what's going on here. And that post-chorus drop is horrendous, it's like the instrumental is literally screaming into my ear STREAM BLOOM*IZ!!! STREAM BLOOM*IZ YOU DUMB CUCK!!! YOU LOVE IT!!!

NOW FOR THE REAL LIST.

#10: TAEYEON - HAPPY

I do not like this. Taeyeon has one of the most powerful voices in the industry and instead of putting it to good use, she decided to put out the musical equivalent of eating a stick of butter. Bland, horrible texture, seems to go on forever and ever, you know you shouldn't be consuming it and you don't know why you're doing this to yourself, etc.

The MV contributed to my dislike, with Taeyeon whitewashed all the way into uncanny valley as she lounges around her beautiful apartment. Well of course you'd be happy if you lived in a place like that, I know I would. The sad thing is that there's some really nice vocal work here and there, but for the majority of the song, Taeyeon decides to serenade us in the most nasal tone that she can muster. I know she can sing better than this, and I'm disappointed in her for creating this and unleashing it on the world.

#9: WEKI MEKI - OOPSY

Whereas Picky Picky was annoying in the best way possible, Oopsy is annoying in the worst way possible. The instrumental legitimately sounds cheap, the drums sound so tinny and artificial that it's hard on the ears. Not to mention the hook, wherein the girls force their voices as high as they can go as they proclaim OOPSY! 

I'm a huge fan of cute concepts, but when it comes to putting out a high-energy sugary track like this, you're walking a fine line between adorable and irritating. Weki Meki didn't even try to walk the line, they just dove headfirst into irritating territory without a care in the world. It literally feels like the audio equivalent of having to hold a whiny toddler and then it pisses itself and the mom is just cooing about how her little darling made an oopsy.

#8: VICTON - MAYDAY

It feels like for most of the year, the vast majority of boy groups were stuck in a rut, knee-deep in sludgy EDM and leather harnesses. You know the songs I'm talking about, and I could've put any one of them here, but I chose this one purely because that chorus makes me feel like I have a concussion. I don't like this song nor the trend it's representative of - I spent most of quarantine having the same dark BG concepts thrown at me over and over and I'm glad things are starting to take a bit of a turn.

The bridge on this is actually pretty great, and the guys in VICTON do know how to sing, as can be seen in the final post-chorus. But man, there's just nothing fresh being brought to the table here, just the same stale trends in their worst form yet. The hook is so slow and drowsy, the same few notes just repeated over and over. I have not seen the MV because I feel like I can picture it well enough in my head just by listening. Are there harnesses? Don't forget those, boys.

#7: MCND - SPRING

Only Pentagon are allowed to do these concepts.

#6: HYO, LOOPY, SOYEON - DESSERT

This is genuinely unlistenable as soon as the drop hits, with a vocal stitching job that might be a horn synth, I'm not sure. That's how annoying it is. The producer is clearly incompetent and the performers are oozing with personality, though not the pleasant sort. The hook is  bratty and the raps here are beyond generic. After the halfway point, there are a couple interesting sounds thrown into the mix, but it's not enough to save things.   

Soyeon in particular sounds awful here, with her iconic nasally tone morphing into something genuinely irritating and borderline spiteful. Age up the toddler from the Oopsy comparison to around 7 or 8 and that's basically what you've got here. All I can hope is that this song is not influential in any way, shape or form, because I just had a vision of Blackpink imitating this production style and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

#5: SECRET NUMBER - WHO DIS?

I'm not sure how many Secret Number fans are out there, but I'm about to make all of em real mad at me right about now. However, it must be said.

This is basically Your Turn by Kaachi again.

I don't think I need to explain that hot take, just listen to the song. It's surprisingly amateurish, to the point where I feel like the vocals aren't in sync and they just used the first take they got from each girl. The raps in particular are awful, and I swear they even sound like they go off-key a couple of times. How this blew up in any aspect is bizarre to me. Anyways, stream Photo Magic and stan Kaachi.

#4: BAEKHYUN - CANDY

Did you want a k-pop version of Yummy by Justin Bieber? No? Well, Baekhyun decided to make it anyways! At least Yummy was sort of funny in how bad it is, this is just...a somber affair. Inexplicably, he manages to oversing the final third of the song, which I don't get the point of, but okay. Lazy, underproduced and overproduced at the same time, bland, boring, annoying...

Wait, did he just say...

Okay, I changed my mind, this is hysterical. Like Pop rocks, strawberry, bubble gum...

#3: (G)-IDLE - DUMDI DUMDI

I'm so sick of this group's 'ethnic' schtick, it's like they never learn. They just don't give a fuck - after a string of genuinely great tracks like Hann, Lion, and Oh My God, they just decide to put out this shit and expect me to listen to it? They're a group with a lot of potential, with some brilliant vocalists and the talent that is Soyeon (who really loves being on this list, apparently) but if they continue down the path of using different cultures as concepts I can't support them any further.

The song itself has salvageable parts, a recurring theme on this list, but the over-the-top tribal influences are so obvious and tropey that even listening to it feels gross. (G)-Idle have more creative control than most groups, and the fact that they're capable of creating works of art like Lion is what makes me harsh on them. Instead of moving forward, they continue to regress into their comfort zone of cultural appropriation.

#2 YOOA - BON VOYAGE

Speaking of cultural appropriation...are we gonna address this? Nah? Okay.

Oh My Girl, YooA's parent group, has a history of blatant cultural appropriation (and arguably some legit racist moments depending on how you look at it) and they seem like they're not changing anytime soon. That's why this particular song stings even more than it probably should. If you thought Dumdi Dumdi's tribal influences were a little too on the nose, take a listen to this chorus.

YooA has a bad voice, is wearing tribal face paint, and is running around the wilderness whitewashed into oblivion while a choir of nameless voices chant vaguely tribal things behind her. Even in an industry like k-pop, this sticks out as something in bafflingly poor taste, and I can't see how she got away with this in 2020.

#1 BLACKPINK & SELENA GOMEZ - ICE CREAM

Well, this is a predictable pick. 

I don't know why or how Blackpink thought they could get away with drip-feeding blinks content for 4 goddamn years in the lead-up to their first album, only to drop this big fat clunker on them. I honestly felt insulted by the song, from its cheap, tinny production to the god-awful lyrics. I don't know how anyone could find any value in a piece of music this soulless and hollow.

Lisa's raps are by far the worst part of it, with FIRE BARS such as "you're the one been chosen, play the part like moses" and "mona lisa kinda lisa". Unfortunately, these raps take up a good portion of the song, and there's nothing going on in the instrumental to distract you from them, save for that little ice cream truck jingle. (or at least I think that's what the producer was going for)

Selena is a non-presence and essentially blends in with the girls, who WAIL that awful hook like their lives depend on it. Also, there's some really cheesy innuendos here that're sung with all the sex appeal of the actual ice cream truck driver from literally your neighborhood. 

I loathe what this song represents - the only good thing about it is that the girls look stunning in the MV. And that's exactly the thing - this song represents the exact moment in time wherein Blackpink admitted to their audience that music is no longer their main focus. This is the peak of their influencer-ization, and only time will tell if they'll redeem themselves. (Spoiler: They sort of did, goddammit.)

[florenceandthemachine]

we all know that i will cling to my “jackson’s parents are trash” headcanon until my last dying breath, but every once in awhile i like to imagine things being a little bit happier. so. talk to me about stiles giving jackson the first healthy relationship he’s ever had and inspiring him to work on things with his parents. stiles sitting through awkward family dinners and pushing the three of them to say what they need to say. stiles telling jackson how proud he is of him with soft kisses.

ugh UGH hell yes 911 send somebody bc this post killed me. it killed me because it would be all Jackson and his personal growth. it would be Jackson who decides to work on his relationship with his parents, it would be Jackson who learns what love is from Stiles, it would be Jackson who is left with more good days than bad and that confuses the fuck out of him, because it would be Jackson that realizes one day that his baseline isn’t angry anymore. and he tries to thank Stiles for that and instead Stiles just flicks his forehead and shakes his head because “oh no, you can’t give me credit for that. it was all you, baby.” because it WOULD BE ALL JACKSON.

Well, it would be Jackson and his supernatural senses. 

it does start with Stiles though, and that Jackson is 100% sure of. it starts with Jackson picking up the phone, maybe six months into them dating and seven into being a werewolf (they moved fast, so what?) to a hysterical Stiles on the other line, begging and pleading for Jackson to come pick him up from his house, he’s locked himself in his room and Jackson doesn’t even wait before breaking a land speed record in his Porsche, leaving tire marks on the lawn and almost knocking over Ms. Fitzpatricks mailbox when he takes a turn (way) too fast. 

He gets to Stiles house just in time to see Stiles make the drop from the lattice outside his window to the ground, and throws his door open as Stiles dives into his car, literally burning rubber as he backs out of the driveway and floors it onto the road. Once Stiles is calmed down enough to talk, Jackson pulls over—some fifty miles away from either of their houses—and pulls Stiles into his arms.

It would have been something small that escalated into something big—like, Stiles would have just told the Sheriff about the supernatural and the Sheriff would have been pissed, and he would have been yelling and Stiles would have been yelling back, and then someone would have said something about Claudia and the yelling would have immediately upgraded to screaming, voices ripped raw as things are thrown at walls (never at one another, but things should not be thrown in general). It breaks Jackson’s heart, it reminds him of the fights he had with his parents, and he would be terrified for Stiles from the moment they crashed at Jackson’s place to the moment he asked Jackson to drop him off.

But Jackson is a good boyfriend so he would oblige. He’d drive Stiles home and step out of the car when he realized the Sheriff was still home. He’d be a second too late to say something when the Sheriff throws the front door open, and his claws would slice through the metal of the hood of his car when Stiles took off—but it would be toward his dad, not away from him, and Jackson would be blindsided when they both collided in a hug, apologizing to one another, crying, and thanks to his supernatural senses he could hear every word and smell every tear. 

He had thought that kind of fight would be it for Stiles and his dad, those kind of fights were it for Jackson and his parents, but they were both just... hugging and apologizing. It blew his mind. Moreso, it made him think.

He’d lay his thoughts bare for Stiles, as he always did, one evening as they were watching a movie on Jackson’s too-big TV in his too-big bed in his too-big house. He’d ask Stiles how they did that—how they just apologized. He had tried a few times with his parents, but the moment the fight was over, they acted like it had never happened, so he had just started to get angry about that, too. How did they just talk, and forgive one another, so easily?

Stiles would give him a totally bizarre look, and when he spoke, it would be slow and guarded (as though he couldn’t tell if Jackson was honestly confused or if he was about to make fun of Stiles for being close with his dad) but he would go on to talk about how important communication was to the pair of them, and how they hit their breaking point after his mom died, and how they knew they were the only family they had left so they had to make it work, even when they didn’t want to.

Jackson would just stay silent as Stiles spoke, tugging the other male closer to his chest. He didn’t think he had any family left. But maybe it would be worth a shot. 

He is Jackson, though. He’s not Stiles. So he doesn’t try to worm his way into it, he doesn’t go for the coy tricks, he just comes outright with it and walks into the kitchen the next morning when his parents are making breakfast. 

“I want you both to meet my boyfriend. Properly. So I invited him to dinner on Friday night. He would probably demand pizza, but I’ll get him to compromise to pasta. Don’t...” and he would let out a long sigh as both of his parents stare at him, slack jawed in shock. “Don’t forget about it, okay? It’s important to me.”

And he would turn out of the kitchen and pretend he didn’t notice the dropped spatula or the twin looks of shock. 

Dinner would go as well as anyone would expect, meaning it’s awkward and stilted and there’s only a few jokes that actually makes anyone laugh. They have pasta and spumoni for dessert and Jackson kisses Stiles goodnight before he drives home (Jackson would be meeting him later, once his parents were both out, but that was not a part of the night he wanted to broadcast). When Stiles leaves, Jackson turns to them both, and it’s like three baby deer staring into the headlights of an oncoming train. 

“Well, he... he seems nice.” His mother would speak first, and it’s the kind of sentence in the kind of tone that would usually make Jackson bristle. He would be a half second away from snarling at them, telling them that it didn’t matter what they thought, to can their niceties and their fucking lies and—

and only then would he realize that her heartbeat didn’t stutter once. 

She genuinely thought he was nice. 

Somehow, that was the biggest shock of the evening.

“He is nice. He’s... way too nice. He’s great.” Jackson probably looks as shocked as they do as he speaks, and his father seems to take the momentum and run with it. 

“He seems like he really makes you happy. It’s a good thing, Jackson. It’s good to see you happy like that, I’m... glad.” and it’s another sentence that Jackson would have put money on being a lie, but just like his mother, his father wouldn’t have a heartbeat out of place. So Jackson would nod, and wish them a good night, and practically book it to his room to call Stiles before the shock wore off and he passed out. 

By the time he falls asleep, he can barely register his mom crying upstairs. He’s made her cry before, of course, but this is the first time that she seems happy about it. 

Nothing is perfect, though, and nothing good lasts forever. They would seem to be locked in a dance of two steps forward and one step back. They would have a few great nights and then a meltdown fight, and then his parents would ignore it and it would get even worse and it would feel like they were right back to square one. 

Now, though, he had Stiles in his corner, silently nudging him to “communicate, Jacks. God, do you know how hot communication is?” and no amount of growling could get Stiles to change his mind, so the day after their next blowup, Jackson would sit down in the kitchen and demand that they talk about it. And once they recovered and said “Jackson, we don’t have anything to talk about”, he would take a deep, calming breath like Stiles had taught him, and—

and he wouldn’t smell anything. There was no malice in the air, no anger in their emotions, nothing but some confusion between them and burning bacon. They both honestly, legitimately that the fact they had all been screaming at one another last night was magically forgotten because... what, they had gone to bed and woken up the next day?

Jackson would literally leave in a state of shock, and he’d approach Stiles immediately and “Stiles I was all fucking wrong about them oh god” and Stiles would be like “what, they’re actually great people? not likely” and Jackson would be like “what? no, they’re just a totally different kind of asshole. still not in a good way.” and Stiles would be like “Jackson there is literally no such thing as a person who is an asshole but in a good way” and Jackson would be like “uh, yeah there is, that’s you” and Stiles would laugh and punch him and then kiss him. ANYWAY.

It would be as much of a shock to his parents, honestly, that Jackson had Feelings that Didn’t Go Away and it would probably take Stiles sitting in on a dinner a month to moderate conversations in a healthy way. Which, of course, would be really weird for his parents at first (”Jackson, sweetheart, Stiles is nice but he’s a child, not a therapist” “mother if you don’t talk to him about these things in person I'll only give him my side later on”), but they would both latch on to Stiles like a lifeline the moment they realized that he was fluent in Jackson speak. 

(the first few explanations that Stiles gave they actually laughed at, like they thought it was a joke. but the minute they turned to Jackson, who was bright red and stone faced and unable to meet any of their eyes, they both sobered up so fast it gave Stiles whiplash. it was a little dramatic, but if it got through to them, Stiles was okay with it.)

that time that Jackson stole his dads truck? was to go practice lacrosse after dark on the school field, where he knew his Porsche would get stuck, because he thought if he got good enough to be captain again his parents would come to a game. that time that Jackson dumped Lydia out of the blue and demanded that they change the locks on the house? because he didn’t think he could trust the one person he had given his heart to at the time, but he couldn’t risk breaking that last tie between them, just in case. the time that Jackson had come back from the winter dance after dawn, with blood spatters all over his tuxedo? 

“Jesus, his best friend had almost died. Have some compassion, you assholes.”

Stiles looked as shocked as they were, but before he could apologize, Jackson was laughing.

It would be another few months before they were finally comfortable around one another. Not great, not by a long shot, but comfortable enough that Jackson’s parents knew they actually needed to take the first step in talking with their son, and Jackson would usually actually give them a complete answer.

it wasn’t perfect, and it might never be, but it was progress. and Jackson was happy enough with that. 

one night over dinner—Stiles and Jackson’s one year anniversary—his mom has a question. “okay, so wait, what did we do wrong when you started to shred your sheets?” she asks, and Jackson and Stiles look baffled, before waiting for her to elaborate. “you know, like a year ago, maybe a little more—right before you two started dating—I used to do the laundry and find Jackson’s sheets completely torn up. Well, no, not torn, because they were cut perfectly smooth. It was like you were hacking away at your bedspread with a pair of kitchen shears.”

Stiles chokes on his coke, putting two and two together, trying not to laugh at the mental image of brand new baby werewolf Jackson accidentally clawing at his sheets. Jackson just groans, his face bright red, head on the table.

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY LiveThoughts: V8E7

Since I finally have time for it today, lets make sure Im all caught up for the hiatus. 

Before we get fully started, an idea; Its not a war crime if they’re Grimm. Then its just self defense. So break out the napalm, the cluster bombs, the chemical weapons, the fun stuff. Make em regret it, yeah?

And we start off...on a farm. Looks like my moms old farm in South Dakota. Even on Remnant, hay is best used in bales.

Waiiiit. Thats the place the Whale set down isnt it. I see a Sayber running. Ah, and the Atlas military! Surely, the vanguard of a massive force to hold the line! Also Im glad to see a close up of the helmet for once, I want to make my own. Also, the gloves, and the rifle itself. Not sure why it doesnt have a stock, seems kind of silly...

And airships too, so they got some fire support...whats that wall behind them though?

Also it TOOK US 8 FUCKING SEASONS to get a close up of these FUCKING Weapons. 8. FUCKING. SEASONS. Okay maybe more like 5 cause they didnt first appear till 3 or so but come on. Im so picking this shit apart later. 

Pfft, bros got some nerves going on. Come on man, its just some Grimm, you’ll be FINE.

Atlas field harvesters resemble Halo’s JOTUN Farming equipment. As wel as our own. No surprise there.

Alright, bunch of Saybers, not seeing much of a threat here.

Hey, Paladins! Damn, they...look way different than I remember them to be. 

I wont lie, I dont like the Paladin design. Way to much visual noise, I cant tell where anything IS. 

Also that is the most 2D grass I have sever seen in my fucking life. What the hell are they growing here...

Huh, the whale has two sets of teeth. Wait, its just there? And its wpewing out Grimm. So...why isnt the air force firing on it? 

Yeah its not moving, its just raising its head and slamming down and vomiting out more Grimm. Im not sure what the issue is here, just...seal the mouth. 

Oh, huh. Apathys. Let me guess, RTs gonna try and tell us depression is going to kill most of Atlas. Oh for fuck sake. IM NOT IMPRESSED RT. IM REALLY NOT. IM MORE FUCKING ANNOYED THAN ANYTHING

Okay so...I see what this is. Its farm land outside of atlas proper and there’s an additional wall behind them, plus the power lines I guess? Seems like a viable place to make a stand. 

...thats it. Please tell me this is just a single detachment of the Atlas military because there is less firepower here than a NATIONAL GUARD UNIT ASSIGNED TO ONE CITY

Im fairly certain there are more people assigned to ONE UNIT attached to JBLM then I amm seeing here. 

Not to mention this is an OPEN FIELD the Grimm have to run through. This is a literall fucking TURKEY SHOOT. Running across an open field anywhere is a ticket to DYING.

Just ask the poor fucks on D-day.

Also uh...why is everyone in line formation? What is this, fuckin’ 18009s combat Napoleon style?

And did the distance suddenly change, I feel like the whale suddenly got a hell of a lot closer.

Just...I dont get this. This makes no sense. Did Ironwood learn how to deploy forces from a fairy tale book? This is legitimately some fuckin Lord of the Rings shit here.

RIP that one specific trooper hit by that Behemoth though. Dont worry friend, the thing walked next to a Paladin. Its getting its eye blasted out

And cut back to Ironwood. Doing...fuck if I know what.

Staring angrily it seems.

“Dammit, my tactical deployment by line formation and parade ground tactics isnt holding back the Grimm, curses!”

Well MAYBE IF YOUD THOUGHT TO INVEST IN SOME FUCKING AIR SUPPORT...Seriously.

I know people have told me why this is. I understand myself why this is. But it really just...does...not...jibe with me. At all. 

Okay so more details; first, apparently Atlas has a subway. Makes sense, its a big island. Inter-system transits probably a given. Second; Was that Mantis Squad Omega? Some kind of unit maybe...interesting.

 Also I love how this guy just questions Ironwood. Like, bro, if the General says do it, do it.

Hold the fuck up, why is everyone outside? It looks like fuckin’ Cali during our lockdowns...what ever happened to martial law huh?

Also “underground subway stations”. Yes, thats...kind of what a subway IS. I guess maybe they have overhead ones like New York does. Mass transit be weird like that.

I mean HELL the signs on it are almost identical to the ones in NYC too! Even with the colored circles and train cnumbers. 

According to the sign here they’re at Pickens Square Station. 

Oh boy. Ironwood just fed these poor bastards into a meat grinder. Anyone here ever played the Metro game series, or read the books?

Remember the Dark Ones? The Nosallias? Yeah. Tight corridors and monsters only work out well for angry vodka fueled Russians.

Didnt see it very well but I THINK those Mantas had some kind of wing gun. Either thats new, a separate armament setting, or RT forgot what ind of weapons they gave their ships AGAIN.

Cant get the shields back up, yeah, no shit, they DETACHED ONE OF THE FUCKING PILOTS YOU IDIOTS.

Also hah, they arrested Yang, Ren and Jaune. Not surprised.

Beta squads apperently been hitting the whale. ‘Bombs, missiles, we cant make a dent, sir.” ...while Im not surprised by this, I also hear shades of the opening of Halo 2s level Metropolis. “Where’s the rest of your platoon?” “Wasted, sarge. Blew right through us. Rockets, fifty cals, didnt do nothing.”

Honestly they could have SHOWED THAT too. Them just saying it feels like a cop out to me. Take that as you will. But if you want us to see the things hard to kill, show it. 

Not that I figure Atlas’s rockets are much more than Dust in a propellent tank. Not exactly a Hellfire or TOW.

Nice to see proper military talk for...a moment anyway.

Or what I figure RT figures is proper.

Oh so now the whales moving. Okay...huh.

Jaunes commentary is the same as mine. Though I guess the size seems to shift depending.

Ohhh. Its MANTA. As in the gunships. Alright, sure that works. And this guys making a good call. If you cant hit the big one go after the smaller. Of which there seems to be a HELL of a lot. Actually holy fuck that Grimm spew is across like...ahlf the fucking island right now. Time to fuckin torch and burn people.

Ahhhhhh and they get to the proper idea.  If you cant punch it from the outside, hit it from the inside.

I knew a crew...three madmen, names of Keegan, Lahni and Mac. The Hivebusters. Something tells me a Venom bomb would do the trick...if it can rip apart Swarm creatures as big as a Snatcher or a Swarmak and reduce them to green slime, I think it’ll work on Grimm. 

Something tells me RT isnt gonna give em a bomb though. Too obvious.

NEVER MIND. “Science team is putting together a bomb.”

Also I LOVE how Winter’s pupils expand and retract in fear as she realizes what Ironwoods asking her to do.

Awww now shes getting the shakes too.

Salem directing this shit like shes some kind of orchestra leader. I mean it FITS but...I dunno.

Ah so the command deck is directly behind the whale’s glowing nose. Basically inside where the spermacetiy organ would be in a real sperm whale.

What the fuck is Emerald doing there?

Sneaking I guess. Huh. Why’s she sneaking around the whale. Also, huh. guess seeers can get fooled by Emeralds semblance.  Is HE STILL BEATING UP ON OSCAR? Jeez dude. Take a breather.

Honestly if this was TRUE I would be okay with it. Replace the Huntsman with, I dont know, a massively overequipped military for each Kingdom, let them run rampant...stomp the Grimm out or push them back to nonexistence...everyone lives happily ever after

Lets be real here, the idea of the academies? Really really fucking dumb. Its cute. Fairy tale like.

But if theres one thing this show has taught me its that fairy tales SUCK. Reality...tends to be worse.

Ah theres one of those torture hooks they mentioned a few episodes back. Nice of the whale to have a specific interrigation room.

And at last we get some information on how Salem works. Alright so...what happens if you seperate the parts then? Sink one in the ocean, launch one into space.

Sounds like Oz/Oscars telling the fans what we’ve been saying forever, Companion Book be damned; Salem wants to die.

These mind games bore me. Its cute, but I dont like it cause I cant follow that shit. Give me a straight up fight any day, fuck this sublty backroom fuckery

No lies from them both here honestly.

Medical supplies in Atlas seem almost the same as here on earth interestngly. Also, soup. Or...coffee, tea?

Blake with the obvious here. But I mean thats not really saying much cause...well. Not hard to outfight the Atlas military it seems like.  (Long suffering sigh)

Im gonna make a seperate post about my frustrations with that and leave it there. But dont expect me to stop fully complaining about it because everyones gotta have something to bitch about with this show, and I’ll be DAMNED if I start joining the BB whiners.

Good question, Ruby. Might be that YOUR NOT LIVING IN A FAIRY TALE

I’d like to see these people dying in Mantle. I refuse to believe that there isnt SOMEONE in the nation that once brought Remnant to its heel that wont stand and fight. Unless Im wrong about that too...

May backstory? May backstory. Yeah.  Not amazingly complicated but it works. Cant tell if shes Henry though...or was. 

Dramatic lightning flash

Cute you think that Ruby. Theres sides. Always are.

Further proof honestly.

Hazels look of though is amusing. Cant tell if he doesnt believe Oscar, or if his tiny peabrain is runing full bore to think this through.

Coordination between farm boy and professor.

Oh. OHHHH. Plants the seed of doubt in Hazels tiny mind, he uses the last question for himself, sees the truth... Clever, Oscar. Clever.

Hazel peabrain go THUNK

Ah so Mercs going off to Vacuo. Guess that means everyone else is going there next too. Eat that, random Discord person, I called it.

Course, CFVYs there so...maybe we get to see Yats beat up on him.

Oh hi Tyrian. Do you just...randomly roam the halls of the whale waiting to DRAMATICALLY REVEAL YOURSELF and give violent expositon? Im very much okay with that.

Also I love how he just...accepts this. Totally fucking bonkers, totally down with it. 

Oh shit, Tyrian and Mercury going to Vacuo? Damn thats gonna be INTERESTING. I guess Tyrian’ll fit in well enough honestly.

Flying Beringal literally out of the roof. 

I remember back when this season first started and I said those weird bone platforms looked like VTOL launch bays. Guess what? They are.

Merc and Em emotion blah blah DONT CAAARRREEE

Jaune thinking tactically for ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE. An I mean military tactical of course.

Also I like how the Aces say they dont let emotions cloud their shit WHEN THEYVE BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.

This ENTIRE PLANET is emotionally run. Thats why the Grimm are such an issue! Makes small note to make Remnant Adeptus Mechanicus cult

Seriously though...

I wont lie though, Hare isnt wrong. Wonder what happened to that Tortuga guy. Tyrian, is my guess. Love how Ren interrupts the moment they almost mention Clovers name.

Expendable, yes. Replacable, no. You should have a talk with squadron leader Grey from Star Wars Squadrons Ren

ANNNNDDD SEMBLANCE EVOLUTION. Or the edibles just kicked in.

This is cool and all but its really fucking dumb and hamfisted. Explain all you want. Mention emotions all you want.

The Aces are fucking huntsmen. HUNTSMEN. FUCKING. SUCK. They always have. Its a dumb idea. Yes, lets stop the hordes of monsters invading this world BY SENDING IN SINGLE OPERATIVES WITH FUCKING MELEE WEAPONS

I’ll make this clear to you, Ren, right here and now. If you faced a REAL elites, you wouldnt have stood a chance. Nor would RWBY. Their bodies would have been three-shot from 20 meters out with a breach and clear and stacked against the wall like cords of wood, one final shot to the dome to make dead sure they were down. None of this stupid flipping and acrobatic crap, none of this clashing weapons and Dust and semblances...no. 

You’d be dead before you knew they were there and they would move on. You’d just be another body to the pile, one more faceless corpse to add to their kill count. A meatgrinder in human form. 

Professionals. Dont. Lose. AND THE ACES ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS!

Because thats not what RWBYs about, never has been.  And that is what annoys me slightly. That and the fact I cant distangle what I know of other universes and our own from RWBY’s. Its hard to hold a universe on its own when everything they make points towards it being like ours, but they change it when they see fit. 

I feel like thats bad writing.

Hehehe. Winter touched Elms boob.

Glad to know that Winters got her priorities right. Course, that bomb probably aint gonna do shit cause its Dust based.

...again, hoping its a chemical weapon...

Wait, the Atlas forces from earlier are STILL FIGHTING? Damn, these Grimm must suck if they couldnt wipe them out in that little time...

Also I cant tell if its getting dark cause of the storm or if its the dawn of the next day.  Or did...they shift time around? I lost track. I SWORE the sun was setting the last time we saw everything.

Also return of the shitty 3D grass...

Marrows gonna defect.

Awww poor Winters got emotions. HEY MAYBE DONT SEND A MENSTRATING WOMAN OUT ON A FIELD OP, ATLAS!

So according to May there’s still front lines. Cool. 

AYYY ITS KLIEN! HES BACK

Oh, I guess hes a doctor too. Oh he MAD.

Ayyy Whitleys being USEFUL for fucking once in his shitty life.

Shes gonna hug him isnt she.

CALLED IT. For fuck sake...whatever. Cute. But whatever.

Oh annnnddd now Grimmquake?

No. It stopped...Bolide?

No. PENNY.

Annnnddd shes leaking coolant. And sparking. And dead.

RIP Penny.

The concept art of the beached whale looks so fucking silly. Seriously, just...detach the whole section there. Drop the fucking thing. 

Oh well.

And thats it for almost two months! Be prepared for me to BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH ALL OF IT and continue on with my military fanwank because THATS HOW IM SURVIVING 2020!

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Would you write a post analyzing Tsurumi as a villain? His characteristic, his purpose, his force, his effection, etc (many other aspects). If it's already done before, pls tell me. Thank you a lot. I love your articles. Keep up the good works. We'll always support you!

Thank you for loving my articles and supporting me!

Now... a full analysis would take really a lot of time so no, I can’t make it right now, but if it’s okay with you I’d love to talk about him a little.

I’ll warn you, I talk about Tsurumi as a character, not as a ‘villain’.

Why not, since Tsurumi clearly does terrible things?

I don’t really like the term of ‘villain’ as it gives me the impression of someone who does things for the evulz and ‘people’s tears are all the pay he'll ever need’, someone who doesn’t do what he does for a reason but due to one or more abnormal vices (pride, greed, wrath, envy…) so that he’s no more human, he becomes the ‘final monster to defeat’ for the hero because no hero can be a good hero if he doesn’t take down a great villain in a battle of good versus evil.

“Golden Kamuy” is no battle of ‘good versus evil’, just of humans versus humans, and Tsurumi, despite what he does, is more than just the big bad for Sugimoto to defeat.

Tsurumi is a character in his own right, representing a certain type of humanity in the REAL WORLD that did, does and will do terrible things, not an abstract concept like ‘evil’.

Dismissing Tsurumi as another ‘Dark Lord’ not only doesn’t do Tsurumi justice as a character, but stops us from realizing that ‘Tsurumis’ exist even in our world, and we need to make sure we will not follow them or ends up as their prey but also that we won’t create them or become them.

So I honestly doubt Tsurumi exists in the story solely to provide Sugimoto a ‘final boss’ to defeat.

Sure, Tsurumi is everyone’s antagonist and sure, Tsurumi is currently the most powerful one.

Tsurumi however works as a foil to represent many things.

For start how a charismatic leader can collect people’s legitimate discontentment, unite them and push them in the wrong direction. Tsurumi’s underlings were soldiers tossed in the war as cannon fodder, poor people who, when they came back, believed they were unfairly punished by the same government who exploited them.

They don’t follow Tsurumi because ‘they want to do evil’ but because they feel the government of Japan horribly mistreated them so they don’t own it any loyalty, and because they hope in a better life, in being saved by Tsurumi.

Tsurumi promises them justice, presenting himself in a way similar to ‘Code Geass’ Zero, who promised to the Japanese, mistreated and discriminated by Britannia, a better world, only Tsurumi does so in a sadly more realistic way.

He doesn’t promise them an equal world, a world better for everyone, a lovely utopia, but a world in which they will have the money they need, which, in the classist world in which they are, will allow them to be given the right that should be bestowed to any human, as they will be no more disposable cannon fodder but appreciated honor guards. In short a world that will be better FOR THEM.

It’s propaganda of course, and it won’t nowhere near as simple as he paints it to be, but it works, it has always worked and sadly it will always work like a charm.

His men believe they were mistreated, his men believe Tsurumi understands them, loves them and will make things ‘right’ for them.

We see it when Tsurumi talks to the nameless group of men from the 7th but we also see it when Tsurumi talks to the men in private.

Tsurumi’s modus operandi is all the same, he listen to their miseries or find them out, offers them his understanding, appreciation and moral support and then presents himself as their savior. He knows what’s better for them, he will take care of them and they… they follow him.

Even Tsukishima, who knows Tsurumi lies more often than not, believes who’ll follow him will find salvation.

Do they really have a chance to find salvation?

Yes and no.

If a man is left in a situation in which he’s abused, mistreated and finds no one to understand him, to offer him a way out, he, more often than not, can end up in troubles.

Edogai could have become a murderer if he kept acting following the voices in his head. Tsurumi freed him from them so in a way he saved him

So yes, the men of the 7th could have ended up worse than they are. Could. We don’t know.

On the other side, if someone saves you from hell merely to use you… well, for you the detriment you’ll get from this, might be worse than the benefit.

And, in this specific case, for a lot of them will be surely worse.

Many of Tsurumi’s men will die to help him reach his goal. They will be judged rebels by central command who might have them executed once it gets his hands on them.

Following blindly someone is never a good idea but it’s so very human to entrust yourself in the hands of a person who seems to understand and care for you and seems to know better than you…

Tsurumi though, doesn’t represent just this but also the way things worked back then.

Selling weapons and drugs was and sadly still is one of the most common means to get a lot of money and it’s sadly something not just men do but even states. States profited and still profit by war and, for a time, they even profited by selling opium.

Tsurumi doesn’t want to get into the weapon and drug trade ‘because he’s bad’ but because back then it was what the leader of a state could do and it’s important to acknowledge this, so we can fight this. It’s not ‘just Tsurumi’, it’s way too many state-heads, way too many politics.

What Thomas says talking with Tsurumi is sadly true, nothing is more profitable than war.

So, Tsurumi Tokushirō (鶴見 篤四郎) .

Birth (around) 1866 in Shibata in the Niigata prefecture from an once wealthy family, possibly the 4th son (this is speculated due to his name containing the kanji for 4, something that was very common at the time in the 4th son). Student at Takeda’s dojo he attended to the Imperial Japanese Army Academy where he likely graduated as a Second Lieutenant at the age of 21 and then he was deployed for  his mission as a spy in Vladivostok, under the identity of Hasegawa Kōichi’s (長谷川 幸一 ) a man who came in Russia as a teenager following his father who moved there due to work and who inherited a photo studio.

As Hasegawa Kōichi he married a local woman, Fina and had a daughter, Olga.

In 1891, when he was 25, Wilk, Kiroranke and Sofia asked him to teach them Japanese. His cover got eventually burned and in the following firefight between the secret police and Wilk’s group his wife and child died and Wilk’s group left.

In 1893, at 27 he’s back in Japan, belonging to the 2nd division of the Imperial Army as a First lieutenant but spends his time teaching at Takeda dojo.

In 1894 Takagi Tomoharu is killed by Usami in front of him and they blame Tsurumi’s horse for this.

In 1894-95 Tsurumi takes part to the Sino-Japanese war with Tsukishima death and, once back from war he is demoted to a position in Hokkaido in the 7th division because Tomoharu’s father resented him for his child’s death.

In 1896 helps Tsukishima to get out of jail, with him will go to Tsukisappo where the special service agency is located and will head back to Russia as an intelligence officer.

In 1900 he meets Koito Otonoshin in Kagoshima.

In 1902 he stages Koito’s kidnapping and he’s sent by the army to help ‘rescue him’ gaining Koito Heiji’s thankfulness.

In 1904-05 he takes part to the Russo-Japanese war, his platoon being the one that raised the flag atop of 203 hill. During the battle of Mukden a shell blew away a part of his brain.

Once he’s back to Hokkaido he orchestrates the murder of Hanazawa Koujirou and, while Inudo is absent, tries to bring to Abashiri the 24 tattooed convicts, who however manages to escape. He’s been searching for them from then, while at the same time trying to find support to built up an army factory and an opium factory in Hokkaido and blackmailing commander Yodogawa so as to have free reins. Among his more notable actions in this time period there’s the assault to Abashiri prison, with the extermination of all the prisoners and guards.

This is his life in short.

Now…

We don’t really know what Tsurumi is aiming at...

...or better we do know he wants to find the gold, use it to buy weapon and built  a weapon factory and a opium factory, take control of Hokkaido as a military dictator and probably stretch his control on Manchuria as well.

What we don’t know is why.

It’s clear Noda doesn’t mean him to act just for the evulz, Tsurumi has a motive, a reason why he wishes so that is based on his experiences in life.

Noda gave us hints but he only scratched at the surface of the problem, so it becomes complicate to correctly understand how badly those happenings affected him and why they pushed to become such a person and therefore to understand him and mind you, understand him doesn’t mean to absolve him, it just mean to realize what moved him to do those acts and see if people in his shoes would have also done the same mistakes, the same horrible things.

This won’t make what Tsurumi does right… just human. Humans can do terrible things and if we want to stop this, we need to understand what went wrong along the way.

We’ve always to remember how important it is to understand why people do what they do but that the reason for doing something is just the reason for doing something, not the magical excuse that makes right do something wrong.

For now we’ll know:

- his family once had wealth but lost it.

This could have been due to the Meiji restoration, therefore creating a possible reason for why Tsurumi is resentful toward the government as it stripped his family of their wealth… which is not as painless as some might think.

- It’s speculated Tsurumi could be the 4th son due to the 4 in his name (which could also be just Noda’s pun for death) but he doesn’t seem to have family members alive, relatives that are in the army and can support him.

Did he lose his family as a consequence of the loss of their wealth? Did they die fighting for or against the restoration? Were they executed?

- Noda raised the possibility Tsurumi’s family was... not the best place in which a child could grow.

Some might have missed it, but he had Ogata said two rather famous sentences and then Tsurumi say similar things. As it’s unlikely Ogata influenced Tsurumi, very likely Ogata learnt them from Tsurumi.

1) The first sentence regards how you’ve to kill your parents to leave the nest.

Ogata: “Killing your parents is... a rite of passage for leaving the nest.” (親殺しってのは... 巣立ちのための通過儀礼だぜ ‘Oyakoroshi tte no wa... sudachi no tame no tsūka gireida ze’) [Chap 59] (said after killing Shinpei’s father when the man was about to kill his son)

Tsurumi: “Now, hold on. You will shoot your mother. You will decide according to your will, Edogai-kun... You have to leave the nest. Because your nest was distorted, you grew up distorted.” (ホラ握りなさい。キミが母君を撃つんだ。決めるんだ江渡買くんの意志で...巣立たなきゃいけない。巣が歪んでいるからキミは歪んで大きくなった ‘Hora nigiri nasai. Kimi ga hahagimi o utsunda. Kimerunda Edogai-kun no ishi de sudatanakya ikenai. Su ga yugande irukara kimi wa yugande ōkiku natta’) [Chap 72] (said while encouraging Edogai to ‘kill’ his mother)

2) The second sentence is “Children can’t chose their parents.” though it’s worth to mention that in Japanese the two sentences are vaguely different but with the same meaning:

Ogata: 子供は親を選べません ‘Kodomo wa oya o erabemasen’ [Chap 103] (said when admitting Hanazawa didn’t love his mother, after Hanazawa commented he had no right to blame him for leaving his mother because the woman was insane and disgusting and Ogata should have felt the same as him)

Tsurumi: 子供は親を選べない  ‘Kodomo wa oya o erabenai’ [Chap 107] (said when discussing how the Lighting bandit and O-gin’s son is the child of two monsters who however were in love)

Where Tsurumi’s parents abusive like Shinpei’s and Edogai’s? Neglectful like Ogata’s? Monsters like Sakamoto’s child’s?

Or it’s actually in the reverse? We shouldn’t look at Tsurumi’s parents but at Tsurumi AS A PARENT and how his job caused the death of his child? But Olga was a tad too young to ‘leave the nest’....

- The whole Vladivostok mess with Wilk and co.

In that day Tsurumi lost his cover as a spy, his wife and his child.

It’s unclear if he was betrayed by the government as Kiro thought, or if it was a plan to gain Wilk’s and Co trust and, if this was the case, who came up with such plan.

It’s implied though he also holds Wilk as accountable for Fina and Olga’s death

- The wish to be ‘reunited’ to Fina and Olga.

One of Tsurumi’s most famous speech was about having Japanese soldiers’ bones rest in Japanese soil. While it can be just a propaganda speech, it can also be he wishes to conquer Vladivostok to be reunited with Fina and Olga’s bones as he could only carry with himself Fina’s finger (and possibly Olga’s).

We’ll have to wait for more info but surely there’s more to learn from Tsurumi as he’s one of the mysteries that make intriguing this story. We’ll have to wait to discover them or, in the meantime, we can try to have fun guessing. ^_-

Thank you for your ask!

[deobis]

Road to Kingdom Episode 4 Thoughts

The third challenge was for each group to pick one of their own songs and perform it. I really wish RTK stuck with the “king” theme, but I guess there are only so many challenges they can create revolving that topic. 

DISCLAIMER: I am a lot harsher in this review than any of my other posts. Please know that I do not hate any of the 7 groups and I truly wish the best for all of them. This is just an analysis of the most recent performances.

Anyways onto my rankings!

Enjoyment ranking: 

Pentagon (Wow! For once it’s not TBZ haha)

Verivery

The Boyz

Oneus

ONF

TOO

Golden Child

Objective Ranking:

Verivery

The Boyz

Pentagon

ONF

Oneus

Golden Child

TOO

Prediction rankings:

Pentagon

The Boyz

Verivery

ONF

Oneus

TOO

Golden Child

Put a prediction ranking bc the rankings haven’t been announced yet so we will see tomorrow!

For the first time in forever, TBZ is not first in my book. Shocker I know. That’s not to say that I didn’t like their performance or concept but rather the other groups (PTG and Verivery) did better in my eyes. Let’s talk about TBZ’s Reveal (Catching Fire) perf. I’ll call it RCF for short. TBZ was the only group to continue a story from the second challenge. This gains major points in my book as I love plot driven performances. Anything with a story or clear objective gains brownie points because it’s what makes performances an art. You can dance to a song but if there’s no emotion it stays as a sport rather than a form of artistic expression. TBZ have shown their artistry fully through RTK, something they haven’t really been able to do before. I’m amazed at how they are able to control shock factor so well. I was worried the stunts of Danger would outshine whatever they had to show in RCF but they proved me wrong. There were less stunts this time but they focused on a much larger picture (pun intended). They added backup dancers and allowed the camera to take wider shots to show their formations. I just felt like they lacked a spark this time. If you can’t already tell, I prefer their Danger performance much more. A large part of this is due to the arrangement of Danger. The RCF arrangement was interesting and refreshing but there wasn’t anything really new. Maybe I feel this way because I’ve listened to Reveal too many times who knows. Negatives aside, I have to say I really liked the choreography changes. The part where Haknyeon is center really blew my mind. 

But here’s why I liked Verivery and Pentagon’s performance more: emotion. Pentagon’s is obvious, they used this stage to send off someone they really love. You can really see that the members love Jinho and that they have a deep bond. Pentagon was also the only group to mix two of their songs together, one being a title track and one being a side track (note: PTG and Verivery are the only groups who picked side b’s for their song). Pentagon’s arrangement was impeccable. For me, the new Shine sounded like a Jpop song (mostly because of the rock vibes; if you listen to Jpop you know what I mean), while still retaining the bright theme of Shine. A lot of people might say the performance was too emotional and not professional, but out of all 7 performances, Pentagon’s was the most meaningful and was delivered the best. The message and how they played with the stage was stunning and their little additions and references to other popular Kpop songs makes it so you will notice something new every time you rewatch it. Please watch this video where Hongseok goes into detail about the little easter eggs and the whole purpose behind their performance. I have so much respect for Pentagon and I could write so much more about this performance but I must talk about the other 5 haha (if you want to hear more feel free to ask!)

Verivery. VERIVERY. God DAMN did they really come back and hit hard. They definitely had the clearest and most well thought out performance of all. What differentiates them from TBZ’s story like performance is that TBZ had too much going on in my opinion. They tried to tell us a long story with not enough time. This is why so many fans have vastly different interpretations of their performance. While this can often be a good thing, I think you have to find a balance when doing a storytelling performance. Verivery cleanly executes their narrative of a nightmare and takes the cliche of “it was all a dream” to the max by going “SIKE” at the end. Their choreography was so well planned out and they were honestly very minimalistic about their stage, just like TBZ’s Danger stage. The shock factor is just right (my favorite part being when the backup dancers have the smoke come out of their mouth). Not only that but Photo is a SIDE TRACK. I cannot stress enough how brave of them that is. I legitimately thought it was a title track until I looked at their discography. They arranged their side b to sound like a title track, and not only that, they changed the overall feel of the song as well. If you listen to the original Photo, it sounds more like a bad boy song, but their RTK version is very much so horror/rock themed. I can’t STRESS how good this performance is. Especially because it’s such a contrast from their last performance. Photo is now in my spotify playlist and I have no regrets.

Now onto the last 4 performances. I hate to break it to you all but... I didn’t really like any of them. None of them made me think “wow I could rewatch this so many times.” Lets start with Oneus. LIT is my favorite Oneus song so I highly anticipated this performance. If you didn’t know Oneus before and only watch this stage you might think its a very good stage with a strong traditional theme. I totally agree, the traditional theme is unique to Oneus and I loved the instrumental changes they made so the song would cater more to their theme. The biggest issue I had with this stage was that It literally is just like their music video. If you have seen the LIT mv you will know what I mean. The dragon dance, traditional clothing, theme, sound, everything was too similar. The stage was grand but it just felt like a live version of their MV. 

I know a lot of people liked ONF’s performance. Let me just say first that they killed it and YooA was *chefs kiss* The biggest issue I had with this stage was its message and theme. They seemed to have a conductor/medieval theme but also the masks?? Like what? It felt so out of place and random. I felt like a lot of their stage choices had little to no purpose. I honestly still don’t understand why YooA was there. The duet dance was nice but why? It seemed like they were trying to tell a story but it just wasn’t clear to me. It looked nice and everything but that was about it. In no way am I saying the performance was bad, it’s just there’s nothing that makes me want to go back and watch again. I think the fact that there was a plot but no plot at the same time really bothered me and that’s why I didn’t like it as much. 

TOO has grown a lot since episode one. They are truly experimenting with the stage and I’m very happy to see that. I have the same issue with TOO as I did with ONF. There was a clear theme of “dark vs light” or “evil vs good” but why? What was the point? The theme may have seemed obvious but was it really? Were they trying to convey good vs bad, angel vs devil, justice vs injustice? I couldn’t tell throughout the entire performance. It’s okay to take cliche themes but with a show like RTK, there needs to be something more. I also hate to be harsh but some of their execution just wasn’t as clean. This doesn’t only apply to Chan (I think that’s his name), but the whole performance in general. The most obvious instance is the head twist part. But I applaud Chan for performing with 100% even after his mistake (which, by the way, he made look very natural. I was very sad when he kept beating himself up over the mistake 😞 you did great bb I hope you know that). Even if their age and lack of experience is shown in their performances, I must say they are really stepping out of their comfort zone and learning at a rapid pace. I have high hopes for them.

Now onto the last group. Golden Child. I was very impressed with GolChas first two performances but this one was a disappointment. I appreciate the use of strings and their classical arrangement (as I said in my previous episode thoughts post) but this performance was, well, dull to say the least. The only “shock factor” was the violin solo (which was very good btw), but I think it was too late into the performance. There wasn’t much that made me interested in the performance up to that point. I don’t know. There really just isn’t much for me to talk about because they didn’t really do much.(God that sounds so harsh;; I’m sorry 😭😭) I really think their second performance was highly underrated but all in all this third one was not it. 

As you can see my critiques for this set of performances are, well, a lot harsher. I think it’s because the bar was raised so much higher after the first three episodes. Overall, if I had seen any of these performances outside of the RTK context I probably would have been a lot more impressed and shocked. I wish the best for all the groups and no matter who gets eliminated tomorrow I want all the groups to know that they all deserve a spot in the Kingdom. Mnet is just trash.

[banshees-and-valkyries]

S.O.S. : An ABBA Inspired Nightwing Fic

A/N: Hey guys! This is my first fic that I’m posting here to Tumblr. It’s not the first fic I've written but it is the first Nightwing/Dick Grayson fic I’ve done! I’ll also be posting to AO3 at some point so I will make an edit to this with the link at some point! Anyways, I super head canon that Dick is into ABBA and I’ve noticed others have the same HC as me so that is what inspired this. Enjoy!

I had met Dick in the most humorous way possible.  

I’m a bartender by day and a musician by night, as I like to say. I make decent money in tips and that helps me afford my little one-bedroom apartment and any possible equipment I might need for a show.  

It was Karaoke Night at the bar I had been working at. We usually had another bartender come in around eight or so at night, so in case I had a later gig to play, I could make it. This night, I didn’t have a show but still got off work at the same time. The other bartender kept eyeing me as she was cleaning some glasses. “You should go up there and sing,” Josie said, “You’re a musician, aren’t you? Have you ever thought of doing Karaoke here to help get your name out a little more?”

I actually had never thought of that, and I’m kind of surprised I didn’t. When I thought of playing shows, I was never intending part of it to be Karaoke at my work. Maybe it was pride that kept me from singing there before but, everyone’s got to start somewhere right?

I smiled and nodded my head at Josie, “Yeah, you know what? I’ll do it. I get off in about 10 minutes so I’ll just finish up and give Donald my name.” Donald was the man gracious enough to run Karaoke Night, gods know most of us didn’t want to have that gig. Between folks drunk off their asses and most women thinking they were the next Mariah Carey (plot twist, they weren’t), we rarely saw any actual talent up there. Maybe once or twice every few weeks but, this was just a schtick for the bar to make a little more money, and to the patrons, it was purely just for fun.

As I was finishing cleaning up my station, I noticed someone walk through the door and make their way over to me. He was about average height, maybe 5’10 or so, with a mop of chocolate brown hair and the most beautiful ocean blue eyes. He was a looker, that’s for sure. He sat down directly in front of me, with a smirk.

“I leave in a few minutes so I’ll make it quick. What’s your poison?”, I inquired, wiping the counter. He spoke in a deep velvety voice, “Jack and Coke.” His eyes never left me as I walked around the bar, making his drink for him. I placed it down in front of him. “Enjoy. My time is up but Josie here will take care of you.” I smiled at him and gathered my belongings, exiting the bar to get some fresh air before making my way back inside.

I set my target on Donald and made a bee line for the man. Donald was a man in his forties, divorced for about ten years with both of his kids grown up and living on their own. He was alone but he wasn’t lonely. He liked doing Karaoke Nights at the bar, it oddly brought him joy. I gave the man a hug, “Hey Donny,” I greeted. His face lit up when he saw me and gave me an equally tight squeeze. “Hey kiddo! No gig tonight?”

“Not scheduled no, but I was hoping I could sing tonight if you don’t mind” He smiled back excitedly, “Not at all! It’s about time we got some real talent, what’s been keeping you?” He chuckled and we talked for a few minutes. All the while, I could feel someone’s eyes on me. I looked around, attempting to catch who it was and ended up locking eyes with the man I served at the bar. He looked at me inquisitively with a slight smile. I returned the smile for a moment and turned my attention back to Donald.

“So what’s it gonna be little lady?” I looked over his shoulder at his laptop, eyeing the track selection. Nothing was catching my eye. I thought for a moment before asking him, “Do you have any ABBA?” “Boy, do I! I have all of the hits here.” He pulled up the selection and my eyes gazed over the songs until I found the one I wanted. I pointed to the screen, “That one!”

Donald looked back at me, “That’s a duet typically, are you sure?” Just before I could answer, I felt someone walk up behind me and speak in a familiar voice, “I could be the second voice if you’d like?” I turned around to catch a glance at the mystery man and it was the same one from the bar. “I’m Dick, by the way. I’m not trying to be weird or anything, I just - I thought you were really beautiful and when I saw you came back in, I had to talk to you before I lost my chance.” He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward I could presume.  

I was flattered, actually, and impressed in a weird way. Most of the guys who came in and took interest in me were total sleazes and would hit on me any chance they got. But him, Dick, he seemed sweet. I smiled back at him and held out my hand for him to shake. “I’m flattered, but most people call me Faye.” He shook my hand and laughed at the joke I made. “Are you okay with ABBA?”  

I swear that man got a sugar rush the second I mentioned ABBA. “Of course, they’re only the best Supergroup to ever exist.” He rambled on for a few seconds and it was totally adorable to see him geek out like that.  

We waited about fifteen minutes for all of the other patrons who had already signed up to take their turn. As expected, we got a bunch of drunk men trying to sing Journey hits and women attempting to sing Whitney Houston. Finally, there was one person singing and we were set to go next.  

I turned back to Dick, we had been making small talk as we waited for our turn to come up. “You do know the words to S.O.S? Right?” “No I just thought I’d make an ass out of myself in front of this insanely gorgeous woman I like,” he deadpanned. He broke out into a smirk and a fit of laughter soon after. I started blushing but quickly tried to cover it up, “Okay Romeo, just sing when you’re supposed to.” I let out with a chuckle.

This was so new and foreign to me. This beautiful, handsome, breathtaking man was flirting with me and he wasn’t a creep like all the others. I wasn’t accustomed to talking to someone like this. I tend to keep to myself, never looking for a relationship because, quite frankly, none of these “men” nowadays, ever met my standards. Always too immature, or had a crude “sense of humor” or they were just assholes.

Donald turned to look at us then motioned for us to go up there and I felt a rush of nerves and adrenaline hit me. I was always nervous before I sang but it was a good nervous, an excited nervous. Dick and I walked towards the makeshift “stage” as Donny spoke out to the bar, “Alright, alright. In a minute, we got Faye and Dick singing S.O.S by ABBA!” We both grabbed a mic and smiled at each other as we stepped forward, preparing ourselves for our performance.

I heard the music kick in and looked at Dick, not really sure what to expect from his singing but as I heard his voice, I was speechless. I thought his speaking voice was alluring but his singing voice was even better.  

“Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find,” he sang, looking directly at me with a slight smirk. “I tried to reach for you but you have closed your mind.” This man began sauntering towards me and making a legitimate performance out of it. I’ve never been so blown away before.

He continued to sing the rest of his lines and then it came time for my part. I walked towards him and grabbed his hand as I sang, “You seem so far away, though you are standing near.” His resolve dissipated for a moment. I was unsure if it was my voice or my action that took him by surprise but the smile returned to his face as I continued my serenade.  

We were so in synch with our mini show. I was a musician so I was used to performing already. Whereas him, I had no clue where this came from but I loved it! We had so much chemistry, like we had been together like this a thousand times.

We finished out and heard a roar from the crowd. Applause, shouting, whistles, you name it. It was such an amazingly unexpected experience. Dick and I crossed the floor to hand the microphones back to Donald. “I gotta say, kid,” he began, “You blew me away. You both did actually. You two look like you were meant to be up there together.”

I smiled and blushed at the compliment as Dick turned towards me. “You were,” he paused with the biggest grin on his face, “Showstopping. I- I'm speechless, I have no words!” Now I was grinning ear to ear as a deep crimson swept across my face, “You weren’t too bad yourself there. Say, where did that come from? You’re a natural!” He went on to explain that he came from a family of acrobats and would all perform together at something called Haly’s Circus.  

“Can I get you a drink? On me? This is an occasion to celebrate, of course!” He chuckled and I accepted. I have never had this kind of chemistry with anyone before, it was almost intoxicating. He held his hand out for me and I grasped it as he led us back over to the bar. Dick ordered another Jack and Coke and I ordered a Vodka Cranberry. We sipped on our drinks as we chatted and began learning more about each other.  

So far, I had learned that he was twenty-three years old, had his own apartment and vehicles (yes, PLURAL) and had two previous short-lived relationships and was currently single. You know, all the important stuff. Amidst the conversation, he continued to flirt in cute, cheesy ways. He also managed to throw in some clever and well-placed puns. This man was speaking my language and I was thoroughly enraptured by him. I honestly did not want this night to end.

Just then, we heard a voice carry over the bar, “Final call for any last-minute Karaoke Kooks. We’ll be packing up in a few so make your way down!” My ears perked up at the sound as my mind sprang with an idea. I turned to Dick but it seems he beat me to it. “Do you maybe want to go up there again? I had so much fun with you!” He was beaming with glee. I quickly nodded and we left our seats to reunite with Don.

“Back again I see! Well, you guys are probably the last ones so make it memorable,” Don winked as he finished and we looked over the song selection. “You can choose this time, since I decided the first song.” Dick nodded and scanned the screen before locking his sights on a track and deciding. “I want that one,” he spoke with such conviction and I looked over his shoulder to eye his choice. “’Gimme Gimme’ huh? Bold choice.” I smiled at him as we prepared ourselves for our second performance but I certainly hoped this was not our last.

Once again, the music started up and I had decided to introduce the song this time around. “Half past twelve, watchin’ the late show, in my flat all alone. How I hate to spend the evening on my own.” I was giving this performance everything I had in me, and it helped that I felt like Dick just brought that energy out of me. It was as though I didn’t have to try.  

We continued our “dialogue” back and forth as the song progressed. We belted out the lyrics with such fervor and enthusiasm, feeding off of each other’s energy. “Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, a man after midnight. Won’t somebody help me chase the shadows away!” We were grinning ear to ear, looking like a couple of dopes but we had so much fun together. The song finished out and we threw our arms around each other, laughing to no end. We held each other like that for a few moments until Don interrupted.

“You guys did it again. I don’t know what it is, call it fate, call it whatever you want, but you guys were definitely meant to be together.” Don grinned at us and I felt that familiar crimson shade spread across my face as I turned to Dick. He was already smiling.

“Well, I’m not one to argue with fate. Are you?” I merely shook my head and grinned at him. “Soooo,” he drew out, “Does that mean I might walk away with your number?” I chuckled at his comment and we swapped phones so we could exchange contact information. “I should get going,” I spoke up after a few moments, “I had so much fun though, seriously! This is probably the best night I’ve had in a while.” He seemed to light up after my compliment and offered to walk me to my car.  

“Actually, I walk. My apartment is just a few blocks from here. I can handle it.” He looked skeptical, “Nonsense, I can just drive you. You shouldn’t be walking home alone this late at night. Hop in.” He smiled at me and led me to his, very nice, I might add, Porsche parked out front. He opened the door for me and I situated myself before we took off.

I directed him down the streets until we were parked right out front of my home. He turned the car off and came around my side, opening the door for me again. He went so far as to walk me up the stairs until I was right outside my door, “for safety reasons, of course”. He was such a gentleman.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” he spoke up leaning against the wall of the building. “So did I. Thank you again for driving me home, you really didn’t have to.” I smiled softly at him and he returned it. He leaned forward off of the building and took a step forward so he was standing right in front of me.

In this close proximity, I caught a whiff of spearmint and pine emanating off of him. He outstretched his arms and brought me in for a hug, holding it there for a few moments before pulling away slightly to look down at me.

I swore I saw his gaze flicker between my eyes and my lips a couple times and I smiled in response. He leaned in closer to me, head dipping down slightly. “Let me know if you want me to stop,” he spoke, voice just barely above a whisper. I licked my lips, “Don’t.”

That was all the invitation he needed. His lips met mine in a soft embrace and I felt electricity run through my body like nothing ever before. It was soft and sweet and I loved it. We pulled away soon after and I caught him cheesing like an idiot. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?” he told me.

“I won’t be if you won’t.” He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze before walking back to his car. He made sure not to drive off until he saw me enter my apartment. I definitely didn’t expect my night to go like this but I sure was happy about it nonetheless. I sighed contentedly and leaned my back against the door. I touched my lips and they still tingled from the experience. I went to bed that night with the events of the day replaying in my mind until I fell into a peaceful slumber.

[couch-house]

Wow people like that anon are why we need to be more educated about manipulation via self-destruction. We all need to understand and know that if we constantly, repeatedly "make" someone feel bad enough to consider harmful actions just through TINY contradictions it might just not be us and we don't have to put up with all the stress, discomfort, depression, etc. that comes from it. And sometimes it's really obvious when it's manipulation, it's not NEVER an option.

exactly bro. i’m gonna do something real fun and talk about my abuser, who did this for years! under the cut

so im just gonna come right out and say it so i dont gotta give him an epithet every time, but his name was dibby/dib. he goes by a different name now i think but from what ive heard it seems like ppl r familiar with him by that name as well. w/e for his privacy i guess ill just leave his current name out of it. anyway i knew and was friends with/dated dib for about 7 years before we cut each other out.

ANYWAY dib had/has legitimate mental health problems, yes, but he also chose to use those problems as excuses for his manipulative and abusive behavior. dib had bipolar and would experience dramatic mood swings. unfortunate but normal and okay! if you experience mood swings and suddenly feel overwhelmed by sadness or anger, you probably know that, if you recognize this as a disorder, you should let the people around you know, tell them how you’re feeling, and do what you can to manage the situation.  dib would instead say “oh no i feel a mood swing coming. :( quick, distract me!” which, again is a clumsy but fair way to handle that, EXCEPT when it inevitably failed to cheer him up, he would blame us for failing, call us bad friends, insist we didn’t care about him, and isolate to only talking with his favorite person (for a while that was me). 

when dib got upset he would blow up, block me for days or weeks, and then later when he calmed down and felt lonely he’d add me back with some half-apology and assume everything was fine again. here’s a list i kept of things that upset him and had this result! it was called “things not to do”

tell dib when [his gf] is streaming

fail to tell dib when [his gf] is streaming

ask dib if it’s okay to do things

talk to him when he’s feeling antisocial

offer critique when it isn’t asked for

ask dib not to do something

talk to him in the tags (when not friends)

spam things he doesn’t like/isn’t involved in ((the relevant examples are bug blogs, bunnies, and the pbs kids show arthur. not because they trigger him, just because he doesn’t like them))

talk about/mention people that are my friends that he doesn’t like

offer solutions when he just needs confirmation

make it about you

yeah. keep in mind every one of those bullet points corresponds to at least one time he either faked his own death or blew up and blocked me for a week.

the bigger problem though was his suicide ideation. dib had a pretty shit life and pretty shit mental health and unfortunately was legitimately depressed and suicidal. he needed help but, living in america, really couldnt afford it most of the time. this is okay. if you or someone you know is unable to get medical health for depression or suicide ideation you know how hard it is to live with. sometimes there’s not a lot you can do and that person will Just Be Depressed an just Want To Die and theres not a lot you can do to help, even if you try your best. that of course, is not the problem with dib. 

the problem was repeatedly, starting i think when i criticized him for pushing everyone away by insisting no one cares about him and not putting any effort towards others, would make some vague allusion to feeling suicidal and abruptly log off and stop answering messages. this can be an okay way to deal with yourself if you’re upset BUT. THE NEXT DAY, after i frantically thought he was going to Attempt and repeatedly messaged him to try to deter him, check on him, ask if he was okay (he really just went to sleep, which again is fine), he decided to PRETEND TO BE DEAD.  he told his gf and maybe one other person he was alive but threatened them to stay quiet and pretend he was dead or he WOULD commit. so his gf at the time had to play along and all of us then-kids were freaking out that our friend had died, only for him to decide later that he’d had his fun and he could now announce “no i just logged off for a little bit :)”

he did this. many times. make some allusion to wanting to attempt then abruptly stop answering messages, knowing what people would assume. (this was one of the pieces of testimony i did not include verbatim in that rk post: i was told rk would do very similar things; part of why i thought the post was necessary. ive lived through the other side of that and i dont want ANYONE else to). i think two separate times that he did this, i was sent home from school early because i was crying so hard (my best friend let me think i was responsible for his death. he did this on purpose. he did this repeatedly. thats fucked up)

one time he posted a supposedly queued suicide note post! and all my friends were terrified he’d died! so i remember someone anonymously messaged kylee henke asking for advice, and i (who at the time he was mad at and had already blocked) got fed up with it (again because he’d done this so many times and i knew by now that there was no point in getting upset, he was just doing it for sympathy or attention or w/e) and messaged his mom on facebook asking her to check on him. he was fine, just like. crying in his room. also sidenote he got BIG MAD that someone told his mom and was posting when he was found out liek WHO TOLD >:( n i was like :)). bc bro if ur really abt to attempt i have an Obligation to get someone irl to check on you and protect you. but obviously you werent since this was like the 20th fucking time youve done this 🙃

he was a huge pizza shit for other reasons too but the main relevant one was that he would use his mental illness as an excuse for his deplorable behavior and blame others for things literally no one can reasonably do anythign about and then constantly and i DO MEAN CONSTANTLY use his own life and suicide ideation as a trump card.

anyway if you know someone who repeatedly threatens suicide or pretends to commit suicide by purposefully alluding to it before ghosting you, or posting a suicide note meant to blame others, you need to get out of there right now. that is not okay and you should not be dealing with that. ive taken years to get used to the idea that if i criticize my friends, they won’t kill themselves

[planetsxend]

“Moist”

@sweettifalockhart issued the writing challenge: moist.  I posted a snippet so I’d stay on track, and hell did I stay on track.  Probably OOC in places, but that hasn’t stopped me writing before :P Reno/Tifa below the cut, set very loosely in the tie between OG/Remake & AC

1 year, 4 months, 2 weeks, 3 days after The Plate

“- and then she threw me out the bar!  Literally threw me.  How is that even possible?”

“... It’s Tifa,” Rude says, as if that explains everything from gravity’s pull to the magic show of pigs suddenly sprouting wings and taking to the sky (although that wouldn’t be magic so much as fucking freaky who has the alien head this time?).  “Would’ve paid for a video,” his partner’s quiet addition, the bare bones of a smirk flirting with his mouth and Reno well - he can’t let that one go unchallenged.  The bastard doesn’t even startle when the elastic band pings off his shades.  Hmmph.

He grumbles some more, under his breath, and he’s well-versed in the feeling of eyes on him, knows Rude’s picked up on the fact he’s legitimately out of sorts with this recent development.  Knows that behind those shades, Rude’s staring at him, measuring the weight of each word on his tongue before lending voice to it.

“Either start talking or start writing.  This paperwork isn’t going to finish itself.”

“There’re memories in that bar,” Reno replies, the last he’ll say on the matter simply because it covers the entirety of his discomfiture.

~ ~ ~

7 months, 3 days after The Plate

It’s the first he’s properly laid eyes on her since... since The Plate and he slinks in like a cat on the scavenge, well aware there’s a dispute in his very near future the further in he goes, vividly aware he’s out of his depth.  He’s still got a sharp smart in his ribs to prove just how hard she punches on a bad day.  But here, now, on her turf?  Where every territorial instinct she has will be on red alert the second she clocks him?  Where every protective instinct will kick into high gear the second she recognises a threat?  He’s gonna wind up with his face smashed in and a couple teeth knocked loose and he’ll probably roll over and thank her for it after.

Better than the guilt gnawing him open from the inside out, right?

Sure enough, he’s not even singled out the quietest corner when she spots him, and because he keeps bouncing between where to sit and where’s the danger, he sees it.  The smile for her patrons vanishes so fast he might as well have smacked it off her, face settling into an expression carved from stone.  Empty.  Blank.  Carefully so, but she can’t do shit about her eyes.  They burn, even as her spine snaps straight and her chin lifts just so.

A challenge he doesn’t meet.  A challenge he can’t back down from, either.  His own issued when he approaches her directly, well and truly in the lion’s den.

“What do you want?”  She spits, and if words were acid he’d be stripped to the bone in seconds.  A lesser man would flinch, and a smarter man would leave, but neither man is him and so he slaps on a smirk and replies cool as Shiva’s kiss - he’d like a drink, if you please.  He sure as shit doesn’t imagine the creak of leather around her fists, but she’s a gracious host, and everyone’s welcome in Seventh Heaven, she can’t go around denying customers willy nilly without consequences.

He’s actually surprised when he survives that first drink, never mind the entire goddamn night.

7 months, 2 weeks, 5 days after The Plate

It’s almost a game between them a few weeks later, this animosity.  Every night he intrudes on her space and every night she’ll hiss at him like she’s ready to claw his face off.  Sometimes he’ll get blackout drunk and someone has the decency to phone Rude to cart his ass back home, sometimes he doesn’t and he’ll nurse one drink the entire night, every second under the same roof as her an agony.  When will she do it, he wonders.  When will she snap?  When will that practised calm give out in favour of confronting him?  Just what the fuck is it gonna take?

He’s not drunk tonight, just on the wrong side of tipsy, weaving one way on his stool then jerking centre and weaving the other.  Loose-lipped, too, if anyone thought to talk to him, but the suit keeps most folk at a respectable distance.  She comes at him when most of the regulars clear out and over the blast of the jukebox he thinks fuckin’ finally.

‘Cept she slams a glass of water down in front of him, sloshes some of it over his hand for good measure.  And while he swears and trips over his own tongue and waves his hand around and wipes it down with the stupid fuckin’ square Tseng always insists on cramming into his breast pocket, she parks her ass down opposite him, and jams both elbows down on the table.  There’s no warning creak this time, because her hands are bare of their usual gloves, and the fire in her eyes isn’t quite so bright tonight.

The hell?

“Why do you keep coming here, Reno?”  She asks, and if anything should catch him off guard maybe it should be that she remembers his name.  Instead, it’s her tone, the tired quality to it curling ‘round the words and robbing them of the caustic bite she usually keeps in reserve all for him.  Like she’s as weary to the bone as he is.  Like she’s beaten down and wrung out and barely hanging on by the tips of her fingers.

Like maybe - just maybe - she’s in the same boat as him.

You got snarlin’ little beasties crawling around in your head, too?

But he doesn’t ask that, it’s early days yet, right?  She’s more liable to smash the glass on his head and jab him in the eye with one of the resulting pointy bits, right?  So he looks at her instead, fighter-turned-bartender, damaged soul under all that easy charm, and lets his own trademark smirk fall just a little.  Just enough to clue her in on his little secret - I know the taste of regret, and it sure is bitter.

“To drink.  To forget.”

~ ~ ~

It doesn’t make things right between them, not by a long shot.  But the water’s her white flag, and his truth an apology.  It’s a step in some direction, maybe not the right one.

9 months, 1 week after The Plate

She asks him about it eventually, just like he knew she would.  She’s a blunt woman, Tifa, when it comes down to the nitty gritty details.  Her patience has its limits and beating around the bush as they are, tolerating one another as they are... something has to give somewhere.  So she asks him.  About it.  About The Plate.

Such a simple question, really.  Do you regret it?

Does he have an answer for it?  Oh sure, he has an answer alright.  Yes.  Yes he regrets it, every damn time he thinks about it his stomach curdles and his skin goes clammy.  So many questions circling his head ‘til he’s dizzy: was it necessary?  Was it worth it?  How many died?  How many people suffered - trapped under crushing weight, their last moments ones of terror and darkness and indescribable pain?  How many begged for help on their last breath?  How many stretched out broken hands in the hope someone beyond the rubble would grab on and help them free?  How many people ripped apart?  How many families struck from the census records in one fell swoop?  What were their names?  Their ages?  How many kids died that night?

“Yeah,” he says instead, voice wavering under all that strain locked up inside his skull, queasy and not from the food he’d ordered (still not poisoned, she’s out of her goddamn mind).  He doesn’t know what he looks like in that moment - can’t stand to look in mirrors much these days except to scrape the scruff off his chops in the morning - but she does.  Tifa looks at him then and sees whatever he can’t smother, standard Turk mask of indifference be damned, and a switch flips between them.  Animosity to understanding.

There should be surprise when she closes the bar early, promising discounts for the inconvenience, when she sets a bottle of hard liquor by his plate... and two glasses.  Instead he musters up the ghost of a smile and leans back - almost makes an ass of himself toppling right over, but hey, the reflexes have saved him from worse (like Strife’s sword) - daring to drag his eyes from her face to her waist and back up again.  “Come to confess to the big bad wolf, doll?”

“Eat a dick, Turk,” she snaps back and twists the cap open, sealing their fate.

~ ~ ~

“We, I, killed people, too... when we... blew up the Reactors.  Maybe not... maybe not every life lost was immediate but... the riots, the robberies, the people dying at home because their heating went out and never came back on again.  I don’t know how many deaths can be traced back to my hands.”

“That’s not the same as-”

“Does the how really matter, Reno?  People died.  By our actions.  By our choices.  That is the burden we bear.”

~ ~ ~

He comes awake the following morning to the unforgiving thump of a combat boot in the ribs, and bright sunlight stabbing a thousand daggers into his eyeballs, and a behemoth using his head as a chew toy.  It’s Strife above him, hands on the table he’s shoved aside to get to him, baby blues gone dark and thunderous and hell if that ain’t a safe wake-up call.  From his left somewhere a pitiful moan as Tifa rouses, and Murder Face turns his attention elsewhere, moves in her direction, giving Reno just enough space to try and get his legs under him.  Where are his legs again?  His - where the fuck’s his shoe?

“What did you do this time?”  Rude asks the second the call connects as he trips his way out the bar, and all Reno can manage without upsetting his entire lack of balance is a raspy laugh and cradling his head in his free hand.

“Made a mess, prob’ly.”

11 months, 1 week, 4 days after The Plate

“Are you asking me out?”  Really, she doesn’t need to look so suspicious.  What’s he gonna do, chuck her in a chopper and fly her across the continent?  Avalanche’d kill him deader than dead in two seconds flat.  Still, she’s not exactly wrong, which.  Yeah, okay, this isn’t one of his better ideas by far but.  Hm.

“No?  Figured it’d be a better bonding experience if we had a chat while stone cold sober, is all.  You like coffee?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Tseng.”

Call him crazy, but her laugh sounds less hollow than he’s ever heard it.

~ ~ ~

Marlene nails him in the back of the hand with a fork and Denzel gets melon juice all down his shirt.  Accidental his ass.

At least Strife is upfront with his threats of bodily harm if he breaks Tifa’s heart.

1 year, 2 months, 3 weeks after The Plate

The next time they wind up under what he’s dubbed their table, alcohol has absolutely nothing to do with it...  Well.  Except for the sticky residue he can taste on her fingers.

He has enough common sense to make sure they drag their asses upstairs and to her bedroom before dawn.  Enhanced senses must suck balls, though, because when Strife drops by the following afternoon he doesn’t even bat an eye at Reno’s perch at the bar (munching away at the remnants of a fruit salad the brats didn’t take to school), but he does when he gets closer and breathes.  His nose scrunches up as he sniffs in Reno’s direction like a dog - or that snarling wolf emblem he’s so fond of slapping on anything he can get his hands on - and darts those baby blues between his shit-eating grin and Tifa raised brow.  Try me, that look says, complete with the casual gathering of her hair into a high ponytail, the flex of her fingers after it.  Do they smell of each other, then?  How cute.

“... I don’t even wanna know,” Strife eventually says, and Reno laughs.

1 year, 4 months, 2 weeks, 3 days after The Plate

The punch she lands smack on his left pectoral is a love tap compared to what she’s capable of, and instead of the fire he’s half-expecting there’s... mischief in her gaze.

“Tifa -”

“Never say that word in my bar again, Reno, or I’ll ban you permanently.”

“Yes Ma’am, lesson learned.”

“I might even ban Rufus, too.  Make sure the lesson really sticks.”

“Aw naw, c’mon!  That’s hitting below the belt!”

“Please.  We both know you’d be sobbing on the floor if I did that.”

He pouts (she does have a point).  Tifa laughs.  It’s fast becoming his most favourite sound in the world.

[thehollowprince]

I personally want Bel!Even to appear because I relate to his story much more than I do to Isak's, so I don't appreciate being clubbed together with the "teenaged fetishizers" like how you're generalizing all of us to be.

Okay... please point me to where I said that "everyone who wants Bel!even isn't horny fetishizer", because I never said that. I made one (1) post, that's it, one, uno, about thr sheer number of people that were just demanding to know where a character was and it blew up from there. I didn't force a single person to come to my inbox to try and prove how legitimate they are.

I feel like I'm on repeat here, but this ask is like what I said earlier. If a woman says "all men suck" and a man's immediate reaction is to try and defend himself by saying "well not all men", then somehow, even if only subconsciously, he knows he's done or said something to make a woman make a statement like that. Same goes for if a POC says something about "white people suck". If a white person feels the need to say "but not me, right?" they have to know they're part of the problem.

That's what's going on here.

I, as a gay man, made a single post venting my frustrations about the number of people that only seem to be here for the romance and not the actual journey that Robbe is on and y'all flip your shit. If you feel the need to defend yourself, maybe you feel like you've been participating in the behavior that I called out. If you're really here for the rep of a mentally ill person, what I said shouldn't even register because that shouldn't even be the first thing on your mind.

I hope Bel!even is everything you want and need him to be, because I understand the need to see yourself in the characters you're watching, but I'm not going to silence my opinions just because some of you are uncomfortable. Until fandom proves me wrong, I'm sticking to my guns.

[cwdcshows]

Supergirl - S5 E13 - It's a Super Life

I kind of forgot Mixy was already on Supergirl.  I was ambivalent with the actor choice when he showed up at the end of the last episode, but given the alternative, I'm okay with it. All this hand-wringing about altering history, but they're currently living in a radically altered timeline right now as a result of Crisis.  There are facts about their own lives and histories that they still completely surprised to learn; so would this one thing really be that big of a deal?  I mean, it probably will be, because the writers are fucking morons, but it shouldn't be; especially if, presumably, Mixy offers some type of escape clause should things not pan out to Kara's liking, which she should definitely insist upon. It goes to show how little I actually care or pay attention, even as I review these shows - did Lena fess up to Kara that she remembered Pre-Crisis?  Because if not, why is Kara even worried about it, if she's still operating under the assumption that everything is good between them Post-Crisis?

So when they go into Kara's past is she interacting with Pre-Crisis Lena or Post-Crisis Lena?  Because technically the only past that still exists is the Post-Crisis timeline, which should mean it'd be the Post-Crisis Lena, but since Lex made a deal for the Pre-Crisis version of Lena to exist once Crisis was over, where does the one end and the other begin?  A Post-Crisis Lena's experiences and perspective on the world should, arguably, be different from Pre-Crisis; for starters given the fact that in the Post-Crisis world, Lex was never brought down or considered a criminal or a murderer and Lena never had to rebrand the family company.  She obviously still has mommy-issues, and some other things in common, like ostensibly her relationship with Andrea and the way that played out, but there would be other differences.

"So much exposition." Okay, I like this version of Mixy. I know the actor probably didn't write that line and has nothing to do with it other than the delivery, but still, it was a good line taking the piss out of how much exposition there is in any of these shows. I mean, if they've found the sweat spot where Kara can reveal herself to Lena without Lena going over the dark side, even if there are ramifications like Lena, Mon-El or Sam dying; shouldn't that be kind of a minor point to fine tune?  If you're going to fuck with history, you might as well give it the full shaft and do it right.  That's what Oliver did. Well obviously this happy-go lucky timeline is going to get fucked up somehow.   Why would their public relationship change so radically in this altered timeline?  The only thing that's different is that Lena knows her secret; either way she'd have worked alongside Kara just the same as she did before, maybe siding with Kara a little more often, but this is over the top.  Any ideological differences in opinion that they might have had in the past wouldn't have necessarily evaporated just because Lena knew Kara was Supergirl; and why would they go out of their way to make a public brand about this partnership. Also, isn't that exactly what the Post-Crisis DEO & Luthor-Corp dynamic is supposed to be; Lena and Supergirl (and Lex) working together?  How is this not the reality they live in then? Wait, so Lockwood still ended up working with the same people as he did in the original timeline, but why?  That was all orchestrated by Lex.  So what, Lex still brings on Lockwood, only this time he does to kidnap his sister?  For what purpose?  He's not even in jail in the Post-Crisis timeline; and is there even a Reign, much less a Red-Daughter in this other other timeline? I'll admit, the episode wasn't terrible up to this point, but there's some logical inconsistencies with how they're trying to make the best possible outcome a bad one; it's just too forced. Wait, what?  Why is Winn suspicious of Lex in this alternate-alternate reality?  When Winn came back from the future he had no idea that Lex was supposed to be a bad guy, meaning he had all the Post-Crisis memories until J'Onn mind whammied him.  Or in this Lena-Kara team-up timeline did Kara and Lena uncover Lex's crimes and bring him down after all?  This has become a bigger clusterfuck than Crisis.... Also, Winn's appearance in this episode makes sense being the 100th (I think), but it seems a little undermined by the fact that he was just in the last two episodes and they made a big deal about him leaving in the last one. Seriously, it's not the person knowing someone's secret identity that makes them the target; it's telling the fucking world that they know such a powerful secret.  No one knows Winn knows Kara's identity, so how often was he targeted specifically for his association with Supergirl?  Sure, you might say, "well he's Winn, the average person doesn't know who the fuck he is," but that's part of the point.  He's walking around with one of the biggest secrets and they just don't fucking draw attention to it and no one asks, "hey, do you know Supergirl or what secret identity is?"  If they put a picture of Winn of the front page of the Daily Planet that he's Supergirl's best friend and keeper of her secrets, that alone would make him a very public figure with ties to Supergirl that could be exploited. Surely the world was aware of at least some of the things Lena helped Supergirl with in the original timeline, did anyone assume she knew her secret identity?  For that matter, why do they assume she has one? So in this happy, shinny timeline they said that Lena made Supergirl's new suit - so she happened to make a new suit that was identical to the one Brainy made for her in another timeline?? I honestly had already seen spoiler pictures of Kara revealing her secret identity at a press release.  I kind of wondered if they would be so bold as to actually go that route for real, but kind of figured they'd find a way to walk that back or not play it for keeps; and the second I knew what this episode was going to be about it was clear that this was how they were going to incorporate it without actually owning the outcome moving forward. You gotta love the fact that they're doing this big, "It's a Wonderful Life" style retrospective 100th episode celebration, bringing back past actors, but because they clearly couldn't get Calista Flockhart for the episode, for whatever reason, they just throw up her image and declare her dead. Not only that, but with the likes of Supergirl and Superman (not to mention the Flash, Green Arrow, et al, who now reside on this Earth), how does Agent Liberty manage to go after all of Kara's friends and family and there are no survivors?  Fuck you. Why would Mixy suddenly get pulled into this new-new-new-new timeline? Especially since it was just a preview and he wasn't pulled into any of the others? Seriously?  Kara doesn't befriend Lena, so she goes full on Dark Warrior Duck?   And here again, this is all Pre-Crisis shit; there is no L-Corp Post-Crisis and Lena didn't take over the company, she runs it alongside Lex. And would Nia still become Dreamer in this reality?  Hell, would Brainiac even be here?  There's a lot of shit that wouldn't have happened in the aftermath of Lena going to war with Lex.  How does Lena control Reign and what about the other World Killers?   You know, it wasn't until Jimmy's sister pulled out the Guardian shield that I a) remembered that Jimmy passed the mantle on to her (I think) and b) realized that, apart from footage from past episodes he hasn't made any kind of cameo; which you'd think if they were going to bring some of these others back, they'd have brought him back too.  Especially since he was there when it all started. "Where were you when my brother blew my helicopter out of the sky?" Kind of a legitimate question.  I mean, yeah, this is supposed to be the timeline where Kara and Lena never became friends, but just because they're not friends doesn't mean Kara wouldn't save her if she were able. So if Lena is using 5th dimension energy to power her drones, preventing Mixy from using his powers; and she's only doing this in National City, why don't Kara pick-up Mixy and fly them straight out of town and as far as way as necessary so that his powers work again?  Surely there's limits to where Lena's tap on the 5th dimension would affect his powers, right; even if they have to go halfway around the planet? Kara should be dead, right?  After that many direct blasts with Kryptonite energy?

[broken-clover]

ACC Day 13- Autistic Character

A weird prompt for today, but I hope I at least sorta managed to fulfill it. It seems like this basically requires some messing around. I did my best.

Going with that, I went with something a bit different today. I’ve got some Metal Gear with Otacon/Snake and Sunny post-MSG4

For all of his peculiarities, Snake genuinely loves Hal.

After all the bullshit he was forced to live through, being with Hal was one of the few times he genuinely felt welcome. Hal was the closest thing he had to a real home after so long, one of the few things he still had that legitimately seemed happy to see him and made him feel like he belonged.

Hal had said to him way back when that they wanted to stay in touch. To live together until the end, to have someone be able to remember that he was alive. It seemed like whatever remained of the man’s innocence had flared up again, but Hal had been firm. Maybe it was just natural that he’d end up living with him. Snake hadn’t planned on it, but he couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. If he really was going to lie low and try to live the rest of his years in peace, it was nicer to spend it with someone else.

Heh...was he always such a sap?

It wasn’t really an easy transition, though not in the way he expected. Cramped quarters, tight schedules, and military rations quickly gave way to comfy beds, sleeping late, and fresh hot meals (thanks to Hal’s domestic skills and Sunny’s burgeoning cooking talent). It almost felt...too mundane for him. Snake wasn’t used to having the time to just sit and relax.

Otacon seemed to have taken to the whole ‘average everyday life’ thing a whole lot easier. Sure, he was still doing some side work for Philanthropy, but his new main source of income was IT work for local businesses, taking projects wherever needed. Inconsistent as it could be, he managed to make a pretty decent income off of it, enough to pay the lease for a quiet little house to raise Sunny in.

“Dave, have you seen my blue tangle?”

“Yeah, left it on the counter again.”

“Huh. Well, thanks!”

Sharing a living space with Otacon had the peculiar result of letting Snake learn more about the man’s weird little habits. Mostly harmless stuff, if annoying- like his tendency to leave dirty silverware on the counter- but something that often caught his eye were the weird little trinkets Hal kept strewn around the house. Not so much the anime paraphernalia, but the puzzle cubes, clicking chains, stress balls, and all manner of objects that seemed to serve no other purpose than something to be fidgeted with. He’d seen both Hal and Sunny fiddling with him, but he still couldn’t figure out what they were for.

He caught Hal twisting around a tangling chain as he entered the man’s study, simultaneously typing with his free hand on some project or another.

“Hal?”

“Oh! Hey, Dave.” The man spun around in his chair, smiling brightly. “Can’t thank you enough for handling the grocery run. I know I should have done it earlier, but my client decided they needed their project done a week in advance for no good reason. Sunny give you any trouble?”

“Nah, she’s a good kid. Dunno how someone her age can solve a Rubik’s Cube so quick, though. Clever girl.”

Hal brightened up even more at that, slipping out of his chair. “She does it even faster than I can. Did’ja get a movie?”

Saturday was movie day, a habit that Hal and Sunny seemed to have developed long before he arrived. He could see the novelty in it. They all took turns picking out movies from the local rental place that they thought would be fun to watch. Or, in Snake’s case, picking out some random film because he had no damn idea how to decide.

“Yeah, I got one. Dunno if a kid can watch it, though.”

“I can check.”

The two of them headed out towards the living room, where Sunny was sitting on the couch and twisting around a Jacob’s Ladder. She looked up at her caretakers, little legs kicking.

“Movie time?”

“Just about.” Otacon gave her a gentle pat on the head before picking up the rental box. “So, what did you two get?”

“Dunno.” Snake offered a shrug. “Something called ‘Rain Man,’ thought it might be good.”

Despite his efforts, he could literally see Hal wilt before his eyes. “What’s wrong? Bad pick?”

“Er, s-sorta. I guess not technically, but-”

The soldier gave him a look. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, it’s stupid, it’s totally fine if you want to-”

“Hal, just tell me what’s wrong.” His tone came out harsher than expected. He tried to soften it. “I want to understand the problem.”

The man blew out a strained exhale, not looking the other man in the eyes. “It’s got some harmful stereotypes in it. A-about autistic people like Sunny and me. It’s not really a bad movie, it just kinda...just kinda makes me upset? It’s dumb, I’m sorry, the whole ‘savant’ thing just really gets to me.”

Snake gave a noncommittal noise. “So that’s it.”

“It’s stupid. I’m sorry. I know it’s stupid-”

“Hal.” He placed a firm hand on the man’s shoulder. “For God’s sake, stop apologizing. I don’t mind. We can watch something else. It's okay.”

“Alright…” Hal still looked a bit downcast. “I’m so- er, darn it.”

Sunny pinched her eyebrows together. “Are you two fighting?”

“No, sweetie. Everything’s fine.” Hal gave her a tired smile.

Snake nodded. “Just picking a different movie to watch.”

Otacon recoiled slightly. “You sure that’s okay?”

“Not gonna watch something that makes you uncomfortable. You wanna watch that movie about the goldfish instead?”

The man smirked. “Ponyo. World-famous military man Solid Snake, watching Ponyo. Sure.”

“Ponyo!” Sunny clasped her hands together. “Popcorn too?”

“On it.” Snake took off to go retrieve one of the stovetop packets and a big bowl.

In a matter of minutes, the three of them were packed onto the sofa, watching the opening credits role. Hal can’t put into words how quietly relieved he is. Bright, cheery colors swim by as he twists a tangle in one hand, picking popcorn from the bowl on Snake’s lap with the other.

When he moved to grab another handful, he felt something ghost against his neck. Before he could react, he felt a kiss against his throat. Snake came back into his field of view a moment later, wearing the most impish smile he had ever seen.

Hal buried his face in his shirt collar, trying to hide the blooming red blush on his cheeks.