#LA eats

[podcastwizard]

cashier: ok that'll be $20

me (visibly sweating): ah, yes, of course! a perfectly reasonable price for a grilled cheese and a small smoothie! that was exactly the price i expected you to say when i ordered a single grilled cheese and a smoothie and my vision is NOT getting blurry as we speak! i am a perfectly normal temperature and my speech patterns are natural and even because this is the countenance of an individual who expected to pay 20 american dollars for a single grilled cheese and a smoothie!

cashier: where's all that blood coming from

[maeamian]

Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.

They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Life™, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.

So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.

[mulderscully]

#she would like to be excluded from this narrative

[chocostrwberry]

Is Chat Noir… a freak??!?!

Fanart for @sillysiluriforme bc OOUUUUGGGHHH THIS AU IS GRGHAUUGHH- 🩷🩷🩷😭😭😭🫶🫶😩😩🙏🙏🌈🌈🌈

[sillysiluriforme]

Is there a cap on miraculous exposure? Like, if luka unified the mouse and snake and spent a million years looping would he just get worse and worse until he dies/shuts down or would he reach 100% exposure and stop there? (Become a snouse?)

No snouse ! You get to go to limbo until what's left of your soul is consumed by the primordial consciousness.

[veryintricaterituals]

Can we talk about the parallel between Guillermo's turning and un-turning.

His turning went so wrong, it wasn't what he wanted at all. We know our crazy, dramatic baby. He wanted a ceremony, he wanted it to be romantic and soft, he wanted vows and sacred words. He wanted to slowly expose his neck, he wanted whispered words, he wanted to feel safe and cherished. He wanted to be asked and be held and be seen and be accepted.

What he got instead was a badly lit horrifying ordeal. He had to take charge. Derek had no idea what he was doing. It happened in a backroom of a store, they kept getting interrupted by Derek's boss asking him to clean out toilets. Derek fucked up his bite. He almost died. "Have you done this before". Derek fainting. Blood everywhere. Anticlimactic, disappointing, not at all the culmination of his life long dream, of decades of service and love.

His un-turning on the other hand.

Oh Nandor knows him. He made up a ritual for him with a suitably dramatic name: "The Ceremony of Vampiric Transmogrification". He dressed him in robes which he put on him so softly and spoke to him so kindly beforehand. He got all the other vampires ready for him. He hung banners and lit candles. He wrote and spoke vows and sacred words to him. He gave him a choice and asked him a question. And when he got his answer he took charge and made sure everything went exactly as it should. He made Guillermo feel seen and loved and accepted, even if it broke his heart.

[swagveryswagamazinf]

memories w the family:]]

[artofalassa]

The Wings

They're finally together, huh? Time to celebrate. The last spicier piece under the cut.....

Part ONE | Part TWO | Part THREE | Part FOUR | Part FIVE | Part SIX | Part EIGHT

[eatingoutmen]

The thought of Sergio Marquina getting his pussy eating out by you while his legs were wrapped around your head, his fingers tangled your hair while he moaned and whimpered uncontrollably at the feeling of your tongue swirling around and tasting his cunt; his loud and unrestrained noises were like something you’d hear from a porn video as his body quivered with a potent mix of pleasure and anticipation while his thighs locked your head in place, nearly almost crushing you.

“Mmmnnhh… fuckkk… that’s it, mi amor. Just like that…��� Sergio gasped out between whimpers, his hips desperately rocking into your mouth, feeling in your tongue tasting him. He let out a loud, unbridled moan escape from his lips as he felt his orgasm quickly approaching. His hands moved around your body as his nails scratched your back all the way to your shoulders lightly, causing you to let out a groan at the pain from the stinging sensation; but you couldn’t care about that because you were too busy focusing on pleasuring him with determination and obedience.

Sergio’s thighs were trembling as he arched his back further off the bed, his fingers moved back to tangle your hair again as his moans and whimpers grew louder and more desperate; chasing his release as he felt your tongue on his walls. His breath getting caught on his throat as he came, he let out a breathless moan as he rode his high as he gushed into your mouth; his thighs quickly unlocked your head, while adjusting himself so he could get a better look at you. He stared down at you with half-lidded eyes as he took in the sight of your cocky smirk plastered on your lips, he shivered in pleasure seeing your lips smudge with his cum as you remained between his legs.

His mind began to automatically predict that he was in for a long night with you and wasn’t complaining at all, not even a little bit.

[cam-stopped-eating-candles]

More PJO shoes you heathens

[naggingatlas]

a fish in mud / a scarecrow full of blood

[punk-o-ween]

USA, LA specifically, you r gonna have to have the most earth shattering, jaw dropping, toe curling, head banging, queerest, amazing-ist, opening and closing ceremony ever. bc paris ATE THIS SHIT UP 100%

[skrunksthatwunk]

GIRLFRIENDS POST-UHAUL (uhaul the second, i guess)

[tomicscomics]

05/27/2024

Continuing from the previous cartoon, St. Joan of Arc's sleepover scheme ends in DISASTER?! (Yes, this still really happened.)

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY:

1. The Source: This cartoon is based off of characters and events mentioned in St. Joan of Arc's trial. Here are the relevant passages (translated by W. S. Scott): "Asked what [Catherine de La Rochelle] said to her, [Jeanne the Maid] answered that this Catherine said [...] that a woman appeared [to her], a white lady, dressed in cloth of gold [...]. [Jeanne] asked Catherine if this Lady appeared every night; and if so, [Jeanne] would sleep with [Catherine to see her]. And [Jeanne] did so, but kept awake till midnight; saw nothing, and then went to sleep. And when morning came, she asked if the Lady had appeared. And [Catherine] answered that she had come, but [Jeanne] was asleep, and [Catherine] had not been able to wake her."

2. Explanation: Continuing from the last cartoon, St. Joan arrives at Catherine's for their sleepover. She wants to stay awake to see if Catherine's telling the truth about her nightly apparition, but she only stays awake until midnight. The next morning, Catherine tells her the White Lady appeared sometime after Joan fell asleep.

3. Historical / Fiction: The main gist of this story -- Joan's sleepover / stake-out with Catherine -- is historically accurate, based on Joan's account during her trial. In this cartoon, I fill in some gaps and take a few artistic liberties for fun's sake. Here are some of those liberties:

Pierronne: The third wheel in this rivalry, Pierronne the Breton, is not mentioned in the actual sleepover story, but I included her in this cartoon because I wanted a third character to offset the tension with a positive naïveté.

Midnight: In the original account, Joan says she stayed awake until midnight, saw nothing, then went to sleep. This could mean that she chose midnight as her limit and deliberately went to sleep after that, or it could mean that she meant to stay awake longer but could only manage to stay awake until midnight. In this cartoon, I went with the second interpretation, because it flavors Joan's failure to stay awake as a failure of ability, not a failure of judgment. To me, that makes Catherine's claim that the White Lady appeared shortly after all the more devastating, but I really could've gone either way.

Catherine: At the end of Joan's account of the story, Catherine tells her that the White Lady appeared after Joan had gone to sleep, and that Catherine had even tried and failed to wake Joan when the Lady arrived. Though it sounds like a weak lie in the actual story, in this cartoon, I flavored it as cruel gloating, which I think feeds into their rivalry a little better.

[myokk]

soft🥹

[megaawkwardhuman]

how we feeling krusty crew?