#currently eating drywall

[veryintricaterituals]

Can we talk about the parallel between Guillermo's turning and un-turning.

His turning went so wrong, it wasn't what he wanted at all. We know our crazy, dramatic baby. He wanted a ceremony, he wanted it to be romantic and soft, he wanted vows and sacred words. He wanted to slowly expose his neck, he wanted whispered words, he wanted to feel safe and cherished. He wanted to be asked and be held and be seen and be accepted.

What he got instead was a badly lit horrifying ordeal. He had to take charge. Derek had no idea what he was doing. It happened in a backroom of a store, they kept getting interrupted by Derek's boss asking him to clean out toilets. Derek fucked up his bite. He almost died. "Have you done this before". Derek fainting. Blood everywhere. Anticlimactic, disappointing, not at all the culmination of his life long dream, of decades of service and love.

His un-turning on the other hand.

Oh Nandor knows him. He made up a ritual for him with a suitably dramatic name: "The Ceremony of Vampiric Transmogrification". He dressed him in robes which he put on him so softly and spoke to him so kindly beforehand. He got all the other vampires ready for him. He hung banners and lit candles. He wrote and spoke vows and sacred words to him. He gave him a choice and asked him a question. And when he got his answer he took charge and made sure everything went exactly as it should. He made Guillermo feel seen and loved and accepted, even if it broke his heart.

[goldfish-inhaler]

it's fine. it's fine. it's okay. we're good. we're gonna be fine. she's gonna be fine.

[soongisoop]

MY BIAS WRECKER 🫣

SEUNGMIN // 'PERFUME' 5-STAR DOME TOUR

[phykoha]

I legit stood up and paced around for a few seconds cuz BRO GOT MAD AT ME IM GRAAHH he's tired of me hfgdfshsd

Check out Desktop Ghost Leonardo by @venelona-turtle-den ! He makes me very unwell! (affectionate)

[mochasucculent]

So violently consumed with thoughts of Viktor Arcane rn

[jensenasskl]

2x01 of x-files where Mulder is doing an autopsy on Jorge… he’s making a recording of it just like Scully always would and although they haven’t worked together, or barely even spoken since x files got shut down… He’s talking to the tape as if he was talking to DANA. These two make me sick.

[flower-seller]

He pressed the tip of his finger to hers and smiled warmly with a gentle tilt of his head. “Maybe we can make up for lost time, hm?”

[dragontatoes]

Sees House not telling his green card wife that her green card was approved, implying he doesn't want her to move out bc he's in love with her.

Remembers House not telling Wilson that his realtor called and found a place for him, implying he doesn't want him to move out bc. well who knows! probably just the good cooking

[maplemaplemaplemaplemaple]

big fan of valve implying a messed up portal 2 family. single divorced mother glados, her two children who she lets run into vats of toxic waste, and annoying uncle wheatley who we only let hang around because we feel bad for him

[spaceratprodigy]

need to draw iris in her third rail dress again. for no reason in particular.. it's soooo easy access.......

[birdricks]

(listening to any song) oh my god. birdrick

[jcsontodd]

Channeling my inner cat by sleeping all day

[ofalltheginjoints]

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a43980844/phil-dunster-ted-lasso-interview/

update: found the interview where he says he’s written fanfic (mainly to make Brett Goldstein laugh, which tracks)

HE’S INSANE I’M LITERALLY OBSESSED WIV HIM

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

currently eating drywall while reading your Gaz pushup fic. I got an idea, Gaz pinning reader down under him and doing push-ups like that?

this is playing with fire anon.

1,843 / 15 / takes place immediately after doing push-ups with Gaz and distracting Gaz as he's counting reps

...

The next day, Gaz gives no indicator as to how many push-ups he's doing, and you're struggling to keep track. Your focus lies elsewhere--between his broad shoulders and muscular back; the way his t-shirt fits so tightly to his skin.

"You're not counting my reps this time, I take it?" he asks dryly.

You stiffen, in the middle of warmup stretches yourself. "Why, should I? Are you going to get distracted and miscount again?"

"I don't miscount." He pushes up. His biceps look like carved stone under the strain. "I just ignore people who try to get my attention while I'm working."

"Maybe I should lay under you this time so you can't ignore me." You chuckle absently at your own joke without fully registering the implications of what you just said. You also don't notice Gaz falter in his reps for the first time ever.

He buckles down onto one elbow. "I'm... sorry? Come again?"

Your brain catches up with your mouth just as you're trying to twist your left knee up and over your right hip. "Wait, I didn't mean like that. Or I did, but not in the way that, like, just with your chest-- wait, fuck--"

Still mid-stretch, his hand closes around your ankle.

"No, really, come again."

He pulls, dragging you under him, and you find yourself on your back, the workout mat stinging against the skin there. He hovers over you, his hands and knees caging you in.

"Lay under me?" he says. "Because that's what it sounds like that's what you're saying. Is that what you want? To be under me?"

You blink up at him. This shouldn't feel as intimate as it does. Gaz is your workout buddy. You've been closer to him. Regularly.

It's the eye contact, isn't it? He looks hungry. Your gym buddy shouldn't be looking like he wants to devour you. He leans in closer, his eyes roving over you in a way you've never seen him do before. Obviously Gaz is an attractive guy--ridiculously so. But you've never seen him look at you like this. Your whole body is tingling with awareness.

You know you can put an end to this right now with a single comment. The fact that you don't want to is what makes his closeness feel new. If he were to lean down and kiss you right here on the gym mat, you would welcome it.

As if he can hear your thoughts, Gaz shifts again, leaning further over you. "I said, is that what you want?"

Your mouth is dry. Your tongue darts out go wet your lips and his eyes snap down to watch.

Your self-control wavers.

"Yeah," you tell him shortly. "Maybe I do."

Gaz's jaw sets. His body is tensing like a coiled spring. He is desperate to touch you. "Maybe isn't good enough," he grits out. His hand slides up from your hip to your waist, slipping under your shirt. "I want to hear yes."

nsfw ⬇

Your vision fogs a bit as his fingers graze the skin under your breasts. When he dragged you under him, you realize, the friction of the floor against your clothes rolled them up. Now your shorts and top are riding very high on your frame. He sees the way you're trembling, your hips writhing subtly under his touch. You're so exposed. It's so wrong. But he's enjoying the hell out of the view.

His hand disappears and he drops to his elbows, his hard body pressing up against yours. Your breath hitches. He chuckles. His mouth strays to your ear. 

"Easy," he breathes. "I'm not asking to have my way with you right here on the floor. I'm just asking for permission to touch you a little, yeah?"

Your heart clenches in your chest, catching oddly. "Oh, right. Y-Yeah."

"Sorry, are you disappointed?" His hand drifts back up your body, going straight to the elastic band of your sports bra. "Did you want me to take you right here? In this very public gym?"

You squirm as his thumb begins to work its way under the elastic. Your hands go to his chest, a rush of endorphins surging through you at the slight give of his form pectoral muscles under your fingers.

"I didn't say that," you tell him, voice still wavering more than you want it to. "Don't put words in my mouth."

"Oh, no, I'm just thinking out loud. You really need to watch your phrasing, boss. You're gonna make me think you're not as innocent as you like to act." His thumb rubs in slow circles over your soft skin as he speaks. "I’m just thinking about how cute you are when you're all flustered. And how pretty your eyes are. And how you’re not denying it.”

"You're the one who-- ah--" Your retort dies on your lips as his hand slips under your bra. His fingers run over your nipple, the rough texture of his callouses against the many nerve endings there making you jump.

He lets out a low groan of satisfaction when you respond so quickly to his touch. His forehead falls to your collarbone, trying to focus on you, on the sounds you're making. You're igniting his whole body. He squeezes your breast roughly, unable to help himself. He squeezes again when you squeak and he realizes just how much you like this, too. He tenses more and more with every breathless little jump and squeal.

You're barely aware of your own reactions. All you register is his hand on you and the heat in your face spreading down your neck and racing to your core.

His knee slides between your legs. It tears a ragged gasp from your throat. That only seems to encourage him, and he presses his body down harder over yours.

"You're so sensitive," he breathes out.

He grinds his knee up into you even more shamelessly, and you fist a handful of his tank top. "Wait," you protest. "Someone could walk in."

"So?" He growls, his voice suddenly rough. "Let them walk in and see. I'm not going to pretend I'm doing anything other than what you want--" His breath gets heavier as he shifts again, his knee easing back. Fuck, you're right. Someone is going to walk in any second. It's incredible nobody has already. This would be a compromising position to be found in, to put it very lightly. He's a senior officer over you. It looks bad for him to be over you.

Gaz forces his hand to still and pulls it out from under your shirt, swallowing. He sits up, dragging his gaze slowly down your body before he finally locks eyes with you again. Your clothes are in disarray; your chest is heaving; you're looking at him with such a debauched look in your eye he has to clench his hands into fists to keep them off you. Jesus. He's only touched one nipple and you already look like he's been fucking you. How are you real?

He grabs your hand and pulls you to your feet as he stands. "Come on, up."

"Where are we going?" you ask as he walks across the floor with your hand still in his grip. "Why did you stop?"

"We're going somewhere private." His grip stays firm as he drags you out through the front entrance. "And I stopped," he adds, "because you're going to get me in trouble if I keep going where we were."

"Wait." You tug his hand back as he pulls you past the entrance to the women's locker room and showers. "In here."

Gaz almost trips as your grip pulls him back.

"What?" His voice is an exasperated whisper.

But at your persistence, he lets you tow him over to the women's locker showers.

"What?" he repeats, this time quieter as he opens the door. "Are you--?"

But you step in after him, shutting the door behind you. Gaz's eyebrows go up.

"I guess you are."

"A lot less foot traffic in here. Enough time for a little hands-on training, right?" you say, pulling him further into the room. You start up one of the shower heads near the door, hoping the noise will cover up what you want to do. Then you strip your tank top and bra off in one swift motion, grabbing the hem of his shirt immediately after.

Gaz's throat goes dry at the sight of your exposed chest. He drinks in your body, his eyes roaming slowly and possessively. "Jesus, your body is-- fuck."

He grabs your hips and pushes you against the wash-tile in the nearest stall. You gasp at the cold of the tile on your naked back.

He runs his hands up your waist, groping your tits unabashedly. "We're way past hands-on training, love. That's your fault."

"My fault?"

"Yeah. Yours." Gaz's voice is rough with arousal. He hefts you up, grunting in satisfaction when your legs fasten around his waist. "You started this. You're the one who suggested laying under me. You didn’t have to say that. Did you think I was going to say no?"

You give him what is--somehow, even as you're naked from the waist up with your legs around him--a shy glance. "I didn't think you'd say yes."

His hands move up your legs, massaging your thighs then moving to your hips again. The way your body grips him, the way your legs squeeze him tightly to you--he's loving every goddamn inch of you.

"What do you expect a starving man to do when he's presented with a three-course meal right on the table?"

You scoff. "You are not starving."

"I'm starving for you," he grits out. "Don't be obtuse. God damn. You have no idea how often I’ve thought about getting my hands on you.” He rubs his fingers along the sensitive skin just over your waistband. “You have no idea just how much I’ve wanted to--”

He slides his hands up your body again, his fingertips tracing smooth undersides of your breasts. Even now he's holding back and his restraint is obvious. He could have you right now, pinned to the wall.

"I wanna devour you, you hear me? Every inch."

Your stomach flutters as his palms reach your ass and squeeze. You can't believe Gaz of all people wants you like this. "Is this gonna mess up our relationship as gym partners?"

"Probably. Definitely." He bites your earlobe the same place he bit it yesterday. This time, he laves his tongue against it. His breath is labored in your ear. "If you don't want that to happen. I need you to tell me." He rolls his hips against yours, groaning at the feeling of your heat through your thin workout shorts. "Right... right now."

"Is... is it wrong that I kinda want you to ruin it for the rest of time?"

"Good." He shifts one hand to run his fingers over the crux of your thighs from behind, making your back arch. "Because I'm going to destroy it beyond all reason."

...

part 1 / part 2 / [part 3] / part 4 / part 5

more Gaz / masterlist tag

[emmyrosee]

heres a list of characters from all of my current fandoms who deserve and need to be annoyed (affectionately) bc thats like. my whole love language

1.) sakusa kiyoomi from haikyuu. dont even look at me. read almost any of my sakusa kiyoomi pieces and TELL ME he doesn't need to be bothered. bc he does. you have to be clawing him from the outside in, you need to eat his drywall, need to pick his nose, ANYTHING to bother him, do it, bc his life is too boring when you dont

2.) shinsou hitoshi from my hero academia. omg. please pester him. shinsou finds so much amusement to the lengths you go to to bother him, because you don't do it so intense; like sure, you could rip the manga out of his hand as a means to cuddle with him. but instead, you merely worm under the arms holding his manga, and you're content to cuddle like that for hours, and he is too

3.) the feminine urge to put sukuna- hot take but choso??? needs to have a nuisance by his side. because he is so deep in his head all the time that he needs the lightheartedness of your teasing and affection keeps him grounded. like sure, he could spiral out of control because of his anxieties… or he can let you bite his arm after you “salt it” because he’s “so yummy.”

4.) omg basically anyone in tokyo revengers, just please annoy him. make him so emotionally confused in your presence. like sure, he’d love to be annoyed at the fact that you’ve texted him twice about having to poop, telling him you’ve had no water, you miss him and you want to gnaw on his bones, but he’s not going to be because how could he be? no one could prepare him for the way you talk to him, and now he gets to see what… creative ways you can show him affection. sometimes, he smirks at his phone when you text him, and when he’s asked what he’s smirking about, he shakes his head and sighs, “my troublemaker just took a dump. they wanted me to tell everyone.”

5.) easy, rayne ames HASSSSSSSSS to have an annoying insignificant other. he’s got this whole ‘mysterious’ aura around him that you need to absolutely obliterate. he’s not cool, he’s a nerd who likes it when you gently run your nails over his back and hair, and you have no problem calling him out over it, much to his delight dismay. you love telling people about the stuffed rabbit he keeps on his bed and cuddles with at night when he’s mad at you, just as much as he loves grabbing your hand and dragging you away in embarrassment. he’s not fooling anyone, or escaping the “he actually loves this” allegations by keeping you around.

6.) ITOSHI RIN NEEDS TO BE BOTHERED YO. I DONT MAKE THE RULES. the mental image of poking your head over the side of the bed and flashing him the biggest set of puppy eyes to ask for a sweet treat at ungodly hours is all that’s in my brain. when he slides into bed next to you, and AS SOON AS he gets comfy, you ask him for a glass of water??? BRO HE HAAAAAATES YOU (literally loves you so much he gets it for you)

6.5) also chigiri??? i want to bother him so bad. i want to be his menace. i know for a fact he loves to pretend to hate you when you’ve just spent the past three minutes trying to squeeze a blackhead from his nose, his groans of agony ringing through the house so loud, you’re surprised the neighbors don’t hear. you both know damn well he could fling you off and across the room. but he doesn’t. again, he’s REALLY not escaping the “he actually loves this” allegations by keeping you close. 10/10 would annoy him again 🩷

——-

@reverie-starlight it truly takes one person to say yes and im frothing at the chompers SJDJDENSJ

[feinv]

Going insane currently thinking about JW getting that same intense, unwavering look of focus he gets when he’s working when you (reader/helen) cum, especially when he’s using his hands.

He doesn’t even know he’s doing it, looking that way, he’s just so intent on making you cum and feel good. He is a man of precision and skill and intense will, and he will use it to make you feel as good as absolutely possible.

Im going to go eat drywall

-H

dom!john wick x fem!reader. fingering.

you heard the stories of him being the man of focus, commitment, and sheer will. but unfortunately, or in this case quite fortunately, you have never seen john match the stories assigned to him. but as your relationship grew more intimate and his feelings for you more intense, you would catch him looking at you with an expression which was hard to describe.

his face was emotionless, yet you could make out an unstoppable drive on his features. like pleasuring you was his mission and he would go beyond his morals to accomplish it.

the dimly lit room accentuated his dark features, making him look like a sin.

“you look intimidating,” you half-chuckled, whispering, as his face was inches away from yours, his one arm stretched in between your legs.

“are you intimidated?” his baritone voice questioned, eyes landing on yours with a wicked glint.

“should i-” your sentence was cut by a moan as he added another finger, curling them in your tight walls “…should i be?”

“depends on what you do, sweetheart.” you felt his teeth dig into your neck, slowly but harshly sucking on your soft flesh, pumping his fingers in an out in an unwavering pace.

you couldn’t stop your whines when he was knuckles deep inside of you, the tip of his fingers brushing against your cervix, his other thumb drawing circles on your sensitive bud.

“aren’t you a good girl?” it took you five seconds to register his question in your fucked up state, nodding your head and mewling a barely audible yes.

“then you have nothing to worry about,” he slammed his digits harder and faster in an unrelenting rhytm before you gushed all over his fingers with a loud moan, coating him in your sticky arousal.