#KorvoSO

[according-to-shlorp]

Terry: This date sucks. Soo bored. Korvo: This isn't a date, I was shopping for new window replacements. Terry: Then why did you invite me? Korvo: I didn't. I said "Terry I'm going to the store, don't follow me!" and you said "Don't tell me what to do!" and followed me here!

[according-to-shlorp]

"Can you show me how to open this banana?"

Terry to Korvo

[according-to-shlorp]

Terry, how is Korvo gonna authorize a surprise birthday party for himself?

Yumyulack, Probably.

[according-to-shlorp]

Did it hurt?   When I told you to google it and I was right?

Korvo

[according-to-shlorp]

Terry, texting Korvo: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater…

Korvo′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later.

*Later*

Korvo, texting back: Fuck you.

[according-to-shlorp]

Terry, to the Replicants: We're not mad, we're just disappointed.

Korvo: No, we're mad.

Terry: Right, we're mad. Furious. Livid... But we're going to let this one slide.

Korvo: No, we are not!

Terry: I’M NOT A MIND READER, KORVO!

[according-to-shlorp]

EVERYTHING IS A MESS, THE EARTH IS A FUCKING ASS, THE ANSWER TO LIFE IS-

Korvo

[according-to-shlorp]

I don't know what to say, but it's Christmas and we're all in misery.

Korvo, probably.

[according-to-shlorp]

Terry: How long are you going to be mad at me?

Korvo, after a long pause: Twenty minutes.

[according-to-shlorp]

Korvo [Terry is standing next to him]: Jesse, Yumyulack. Normally we’d respect your privacy by knocking, but we’re asserting our authority as your parental figures by coming in anyway.

[breaks the replicants door down with a battering ram.]

[according-to-shlorp]

Yeah, I suck at apologies so…. unfuck you or whatever.

Korvo, at some point.

[according-to-shlorp]

Korvo: I am, as the kids say, awake.

Terry: Don’t you mean ‘woke’?

Korvo: Yes, but that is grammatically incorrect.

[according-to-shlorp]

Terry: Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this.

Jesse: What did you do Terry?

Korvo: A MISTAKE.

[according-to-shlorp]

Terry: I have good news and bad news.

Korvo: ... What’s the bad news?

Terry: The kangaroo won’t get out of the tub!

Korvo: .... We don’t have a kangaroo...

Terry: Now onto the good news.

[according-to-shlorp]

Terry: Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes, because then you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

[Across Town]

Korvo: WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY BOOTS!?

[according-to-shlorp]

Korvo: What. The FUCK. Did you do!?

Terry: In my defense, you left me unsupervised.

Korvo: You’re a grown ass ADULT!

Terry: And YOU.... left ME Unsupervised!