#Knife roomba

[torpublishinggroup]

This advertisement is for In the Lives of Puppets by TJ Klune.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT

Do you love robots? How about a little vacuum with anxiety? What about a sadistic nurse machine who would certainly never kill you (but it’d be a waste not to do an autopsy if the worst should happen). And no family is complete without a father who is an inventor and a machine.

Then, do we have the book for you! This is a book set in the distant future about a family made from spare parts, their token human, and the dangerous journey they must take to reunite. It toes the line between hilarious, heartwarming, and dark—the robots have won, and this is their world.

[lordsireno]

Zanzo making observations in the break room. Korsica tries to save her ankles

[trans-beast]

We got a roomba and I chose to teach it how to kill

[meramori]

I think a knife roomba would be. A big problem for Achilles specifically.

[agentwraith]

>:D Meet Ronald!

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

I think it’s accurate to describe Freddy as the Roomba Billy taped a knife to and sent out to cut Nazi ankles

[twogeeseinatrenchcoat]

Stabby

This requires no context.

Alien: Human-Jeff, what is this... robot?

Jeff: Stabby the Space Roomba.

Alien: And... what does that mean... exactly..?

Jeff: My beloved.

Alien: It appears to be a circular vacuum robot with a... is that K'chra's kitchen knife?

Jeff: Don't tell her.

Alien: ...But why?

Jeff: Stabby.

Alien: ...

Alien: Agreed. I pledge allegiance to Stabby.

Jeff, muttering under his breath: ...to the United States of America. One nation, under god, someone help, why do I still remember this.

[cantheykillmacbeth]

Could stack inserter from Factorio kill Macbeth?

If Macbeth were to stumble into it on accident without direct input from the player, then yes, the Stack Inserter from Factorio could kill Macbeth.

In this case, it would apply for the Gender Clause and Unconventional Birth Clause, due to being a robotic arm, as well as the Birth Parent Clause depending on the identity of the player.

If the player DOES have direct input in the Stack Inserter attacking Macbeth (i.e. places it down for the express purpose of trying to kill him), then the Stack Inserter would be considered the murder weapon, and it would depend on the identity and origins of the player instead.

Here's a handy flowchart I've created to judge whether or not a non-sentient robotic contraption could theoretically kill Macbeth:

Thank you for your submission!

[where-s-all-blue]

Law, bursting through the door: Who did it.

Zoro: Elaborate. We've been doing a lot of things.

Law: You know exactly what I'm talking about, the roomba with a knife taped to it.

Usopp: Ohh, you mean Stabby.

Law: So you do know about i- "Stabby"?

Usopp: Luffy named it, dunno who did that tho

Law: Stabby

Zoro: Yes, that's its name, good that you caught it.

[killerrobot-killingmatch]

Bracket 1, Round A, Attack 6

Someone Could, in theory, make this real.

Knife wielding Tentacle Propaganda

Roomba With a knife Propaganda

[buginateacup]

I know tumblr loves making dates out of nonsense but I really think we should double up on the ides of march by making it Stabby the Roomba’s birthday as well

[transingthoseformers]

Funny thought.

G1 Starscream disappears for six months. At first, no one thinks anything of it. He'd been distant since he's and Megatron's last big disagreement.

It had been because the sentient AI Starscream had been toying with he'd stolen from humans ended up accidentally being uploaded to the 'Roomba' the Constructicons were building to clean up the Victory. The Roomba given a knife by Rumble and nicknamed Lord Stabbington had Decepticon coding and decided it should rule them. It then began slowly building an army of hive mind clones that together almost succeeded in a plot to kill them which eventually dragged the Autobots into because the Roombas installed antigravs and chased them to the surface. It was due to the shared work of the Lambo Twins and Starscream that they were finally defeated.

Starscream got in trouble and grounded from lab privileges and had been sulking going on long solo fights and pick-up runs to Jupiter.

Then one day he just didn't return. Everyone assumed it was a long sulk, probably the last bit before a new scheme. Then they thought it was a scheme a la the Combaticons and people were quietly contacted. Then concern or something close to it happened and Megatron got some suspicious side eyes from Acting Air Commander Thundercracker. Finally Jazz ends up joke-asking if they'd offed Starscream and Megatron orders a search and to check if the Autobots have him.

Nothing turns up and it is tense. No one has seen him. No obe on Earth or Cybertron.

Then as casual as you please he comes sauntering in completely unaffected dropping off the ore he'd promised Hook to pick up while he was out, ignoring every shock looked as he made his way to Megatron refusing to acknowledge anything happened.

All with a small (strangely small actually) little red-white-and-blue-with-a-little-splash-of-yellow Sparkling magnetized to him who chirps and smiles at everyone he meets and is the sweetest thing on the planet and horrifyingly, undeniably Starscream's spawn.

He introduces him as Star Saber and thus starts the hunt for who's the Sire. Starscream post return puts in and approves his own request for carrying leave.

Zxfgyhyyyy yes

I dunno what I expected but it wasn't Lord Stabbington

Technically, Starscream (maybe) didn't plan to use L. S. in a plot to kill Megatron? (It probably was a plot to kill Megs wasn't it)

Goddamn Lord Stabbington was productive

Ah yes, the combaticons, of course.

Everyone asking if they assassinated Starscream ohhh

He finally came back from getting milk (ore) and cigarettes (a child)

I'm imagining he's doing this all with just the most faked-innocent smile too

aWWW YES. TINY MAGNET BABY.

Smart move screamer smart move

And let the games begin

[atsuchiii]

Thinking about that one fanfic that started my Danganronpa and Celesgiri obsession, only to find out that it's deleted when I came to check on it after 2 years. I hate it here.

[laertesthelocalstranger]

a roomba bumps into your leg. it has two knives secured to the top of it, pointing in different directions. the noise it makes is akin to a growl.

I promptly duct tape a disability pride flag atop it and begin to teach it trigonometry. She will make a fine vessel.

[0luna123]

2018!Donnie: Good evening homosapiens, what are your doings? Peni and Hobie: dismantling a roomba

3 days later, SpiderNewsReporter is frantically telling the news of potentially self-replicating, dimension-hopping, canon-breaking armies of killer roombas across several dimensions, while Donnie, Peni and Hobie release yet another one of their creations into the wild after 3 all-nighters in a row

[hiddenvalleymonsterrancher]

Remember, today isn't just about killing Caesar. It's about coming together to kill Caesar.