#Kleoyia

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas and his siblings get kidnapped for ransom:

*Lasgen’s turn*

Kidnapper: we have your daughter.

Thranduil: no, you don’t.

Kidnapper:

Kidnapper: y-yes, we do.

Thranduil: no, you don’t. Have a good day. *hangs up phone*

Kidnapper: wh- *incoherent screaming*

————————————————-

*Lirion’s turn*

Kidnapper: take him back!

Thranduil, having just picked up the phone: no.

Kidnapper: please, he’s talking about how he would cut us open to see how our organs move!

Thranduil: well, maybe you shouldn’t have kidnapped him then.

Kidnapper: oh god, now he’s talking about genetically altering us so our children look like blob fish-

Thranduil: calm down, he hasn’t gotten to the stage where he’s threatening to go back in time and wipe your entire family line from existence yet. You have time.

Kidnapper: he’s going to what?!?

—————————————————

*Kleoyia’s turn*

Thranduil: *dials a number*

Kleoyia: *picks it up as she’s grabbing a knife* oh hey, ada!

Thranduil: a little birdy told me you had been kidnapped.

Kleoyia: that? Oh, yeah, but then i got bored and decided to switch our places.

Thranduil: ah, ok. Be home by dark and tell me what you’ve got out of them when you’re back.

Kleoyia: gotcha! *hangs up*

Kleoyia, pointing a knife at the tied up kidnappers who are crying: oh don’t cry, i have a feeling we’ll get to know each other very well.

—————————————————-

*Legolas’s turn*

Kidnapper: we have your son.

Thranduil: uhuh.

Kidnapper: we want-

Legolas: *muffled through the phone* Tell him i’m not filling out paperwork for getting kidnapped!

Kidnapper, to legolas: Hey! Shut it!

Legolas: oi! I’m not taking responsibility for your mistakes!

Kidnapper, to accomplice: i thought i told you to gag him!

Accomplice: i did!

Kidnapper: well clearly not good enough seeing as he’s still speaking! Now, THIS is how you gag some- where did he go?

Accomplish: *starts screaming*

Kidnapped: *SCREACHING* IT’S A GODDAMNED DEMON- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?!

Thranduil:

Thranduil: *hangs up* he’ll be fine.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas: How is spring not everyone’s favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys! Lirion: Allergies are also a problem, y'know. Legolas: But pink. Kleoyia: And it's hot. Legolas: PINK!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Heigh comparisons for the elves in my “pushing my miriel and thranduil are twins agenda” and “4 silvan sibs” au.

Cloudryad looks so small, but she’s one of the only ones to have a normal height.

Oropher is a tall boy, and only slightly shorter than his nephew elwe.

Miriel and thranduil are identical twins, except thranduil’s trans so of course they’re the same height.

Lasgen somehow being the exact height of her father was interesting.

Lirion got some of those oropher genes, though not enough to break 7ft.

Kleoyia’s still resonably tall for most people, but she’s on the shorter side of the family.

Legolas is eternally pissed for not only being the youngest but also the shortest of his siblings.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas: you know, most people tell you that if you’re kidnapped to stay calm and try to convince them to let you go. We tell you to be a freak.

—————————- in sauron’s hq —————————

Sauron: Kleoyia, daughter of Thranduil! Tell me the secrets to your kingdo-

Kleoyia: mmmh, can you tie these chains tighter~~

Sauron:

Sauron: what

Sauron: i have kidnapped you. Tell me how to destroy mirkwood or i’ll torture you-

Kleoyia: ooh, yes daddy, torture me~~

Kleoyia: give me the best you got~ with all these millennia, i’m sure you’re very experienced~

Sauron:

Sauron: angmar, what is happening?

Angmar: ah yes, this elleth has always been like this...

Kleoyia: mh, i’m all tied up daddy~

Angmar: she’s uh...... she’s an experience.

Kleoyia: *sultry wink*

Sauron:

Sauron: *shivers* i don’t want to touch her, you do it.

Angmar: *approaches cautiously*

Kleoyia: *makes kissing motions*

Angmar: Nope!

Sauron:

Sauron: i’m scared

—————————————2 hours later————————-

Kleoyia: *kicking open the gates to greenwood* *cackles* Kleoyia: 372, Sauron: 0!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Lirion: *workaholic, dead tired, hasn’t slept in 6 days* what if i pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?

Thranduil, walking past and picking up the coffee pot: what if you don’t.

Lasgen: 😬 *tugs her own coffee/cereal/energy monstrosity closer and out of sight*

Kleoyia:…

Legolas: *leans towards kleoyia* ten bucks says ada’s gonna find out about lasgen’s “creations” and forces everyone through a caffeine withdrawal for a month.

Kleoyia: i don’t take bets i know i’m gonna loose.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Thranduil, 2002 SA: *rushes to the toilet after catching a whiff of his usual breakfast and throwing up*

Lasgen, who’s gotten more siblings in the last 2 millennia, than in the 4 before that: Oh c’mon, Ada, not again!

Lirion: Does anyone know who the sperm donor might be?

Kleoyia: Fuck yeah! Now i’m no longer the youngest!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Lasgen, Lirion, Kleoyia, and Legolas fucked around and found out

They pulled some shit and somehow ended up meeting Eru and long story short, they came away from that meeting with a deeper understanding of why Morgoth did what he did than they ever really wanted to.

Eru is a bitch.

The 4 go: we will do what we decide to do because we can choose what we will do.

And Eru will response with: *chuckle* no you fucking can’t

The 4: i now understand Morgoth’s urge to go batshit for the sole purpose of escaping your thumb.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas, staring into space: Sleeping is nice because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake so its a win- win situation

Lasgen, nodding: It's like being dead without the commitment.

Lirion: an open relationship with death-

Kleoyia: death with benefits!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

When light elves insult the dark elves for the nth time in front of legolas (and sis):

Light elf: -you’re such barbarians, i don’t understand why anyone would- what are you doing?

Legolas & kleoyia: *writing something on notepad*

Kleoyia: playing a game.

Legolas: i mean it’s always the same song and dance with you-

Kleoyia: “barabarians” “heritics” “idiots” “have no comprehensive of a ruling government” “dishonor on you! Dishonor on your family. Dishonor on your cow-“

Legolas: we’ve even made a game of it!

Kleoyia: *turns her notpad around to show a bingo square* Bingo! Everytime we have to interact with you light elves-

Legolas: we bring a bingo sheet with common insults you hurl at us and see who has bingo the fastest.

Kleoyia: it’s usually filled within 15 minutes.

Legolas: ironically the 2 squares that are almost never crossed off are “original insults” and “acusations of things we’ve actually done”

Kleoyia: we keep them in because it makes it interesting

Legolas: but really, do you never get tired of the same song and dance over and over and over again?

Kleoyia: at this point your insecurities and issues are easy to see

Legolas: it’s like going to a museum. “And over there is your superiority complex, over there is your self loathing, and over here is the crippling fear of being an outcast amongst your pears, so instead you make others the outcast!”

Kleoyia: “now if you follow me to exhibit b, we can see how these personal issues fuel violent and discriminatory actions against a people you’ve no understanding of just trying to live there lives”

Legolas: don’t you ever get tired of the constant hatred you spew?

Kleoyia: if i had the time and energy you have to spare to hate people that don’t even know you exist, i could probably solve world hunger.

Legolas: so why don’t you eat something and go to bed? You get cranky when you’re hungry.

Kleoyia: after all, babies need plenty of rest in order to grow into productive, esteemed members of society!

Light elf:......

Elladan and elrohir, who invited the sibs in the first place and watched all this go down: holy shit-

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Thranduil: *holding the shards of a vase* all right, who broke it? I’m not mad, i just want to know.

Lasgen, Lirion, Kleoyia, & Legolas: *not saying a thing because they’re ride or die, not snitches.*

Lasgen: .... it’s was ugly anyway.

Kleoyia: right? I’ve wanted to “accidentally” destroy it for years.

Legolas: I’m actually low-key upset we didn’t destroy it.

Lirion: we could have used it in a rage room. Would have had more value that way.

Thranduil: guys, really?

Cloudryad: *walks past* oh, that thing’s finally gone? About time.

Thranduil: *spluttering* MOM!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Lirion, holding an empty bag of powdered donuts: you guys, who ate my donuts?

Legolas, looking innocent and hiding a bag of powdered sugar behind his back: wasn’t me.

Kleoyia, having just finished sprinkling powdered sugar all over her and legolas’s scapegoat: wasn’t me, either.

Lasgen, the scapecoat: i’m gonna kill the both of you.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Arwen: so, why are you here? Not that i don’t enjoy your visits, but this was rather unexpected?

Legolas: i’m hiding out here because i accidentally destroyed a book belonging to one of my partners and i refuse to return until she’s not inclined to throw me off a cliff.

Elladan: that... was not what i was expecting.

Elrohir: can’t you just ask you family for help?

Legolas: *deadpan* when i asked Kleoyia, she said “LMAO, sucks to be you, bruh!” And left the room cackling like a witch.

Legolas: Lasgen looked at me with dead eyes from where she was seated surrounded by paperwork and told me to get out of her sight before she decided fratricide was a viable option.

Legolas: and i’m not entering my brother’s lab unless it’s the end of the world, i’d get used as an experiment.

Legolas: so no.

Arwen: what about your dad?

Legolas: that traitor would turn me in.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Ya’ll, i just created some sick ass lore for my au.

So as some of you might have noticed, i have started drawing my ocs and legolas and thranduil, etc, with yellow eyes, and i was like “hmmm, how do i make that unique”

And then i was like: what if they weren’ born with yellow eyes. Instead, elves get yellow eyes when they’ve managed to forcefully seperate themselves from the music, from the song, from Eru’s plan? The ritual to do this is smth they go through as elflings, so most beings only know them as having yellow eyes.

And mind you, yellow eye havers in the au are:

Oropher

Cloudryad

Elya (oropher’s sister)

Thranduil

Miriel

Ingwe

Elwe

Olwe

Elmo

Lasgen

Lirion

Kleoyia

Legolas

And the reason why luthien and feanor, etc, don’t have yellow eyes is bc they didn’t go through the ritual bc their yellow eyed parents were stopped from doing so.

And the thing is, seperating themselves from the Song is a gamble. There’s no garuntee for a happy ending but they do have the power and freedom from Eru to do what they want. They exist outside of the system.

And the reason they don’t tell other elves how to do so is bc 1. If all elves tried to remove themselves from fate it’d get back to the gods and then things would go to shit, and the yellow-havers are just selfish enough to want to keep it for themselves.

And 2, while not being forcefully bound by Eru’s song is nice, and it is absolutely smth they will hapully face the consequences for in order to have, it also means that any protection they have from the gods, from the song, is gone.

Where the valar can’t intervene with elves like feanor, galadirel, elrond, etc, via mind control and forcefully binding them against their will when they’ve done nothing wrong, the valar can do whatever they want with yellow-eyed elves with no fear of intervention from eru or sm other god.

Whether it be by mind controlling and abuse in order to keep control of a kingdom (melian and elwe), binding their powers and physically preventing them from leaving valinor via force field (Ingwe) or havong them assassinated and then keeping them locked up in the halls of mandos far past the time they should be released (Miriel), or even simply being picked up and dropped into whatever hellish situarion for the gods’ amusement and entertainment, these elves might be more free than any other, but they also have no protection from the powers that be.

Yellow eyed elves are the putlaws of Eru’s plan, Eru’s music, and while the elves listed will happily face any and all consequences in order to retain their freedom, it’s not something they would encourage others to get either, bc it’s a very dangerous decision to make.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas’s family is all tops in the battlefield, but bottoms in the bedroom.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

What the 4 silvan sibs chat names would be if they had phones:

Lasgen: Manslaughter

Lirion: Mansplain

Kleoyia: Manipulate

Legolas: Male wife

Their group chat name would be: be gay, do crime.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

The first of thranduil’s family to make it to valinor after oropher is Kleoyia.

It happened millenia after the third age. Kleoyia was killed and ended up in mandos. They’re still a bit confused as to how she died.

Anyway, you’d think this is an angsty post, but it’s not.

Kleoyia’s faer is brought to the hall and she walks herself right out the door. She’s good thanks. No way she’s going to willingly put herself under the control of a vala any longer than absolutely necessary.

Ingwe’s called to pick her up bc oropher’s still in the halls harassing convincing the valar to release miriel from the halls.

And ingwe picks her up by himself, and he’s a little worried bc yes, she is his (adopted) sister, but he’s also never met her and he’s afraid that after all these millenia apart thranduil’s forgotten him.

But he need not worry bc, after breaking the ice, the two get on like a house on fire. And Kleoyia’s managed to smuggle in a phone somehow, so now ingwe not only has actual family again, but he’s once more in contact with his ada and older sister and the rest of his (newly met) family.

Oh, happy days!!!