#lasgen lirion kleoyia and legolas are siblings

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas, staring into space: Sleeping is nice because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake so its a win- win situation

Lasgen, nodding: It's like being dead without the commitment.

Lirion: an open relationship with death-

Kleoyia: death with benefits!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

When light elves insult the dark elves for the nth time in front of legolas (and sis):

Light elf: -you’re such barbarians, i don’t understand why anyone would- what are you doing?

Legolas & kleoyia: *writing something on notepad*

Kleoyia: playing a game.

Legolas: i mean it’s always the same song and dance with you-

Kleoyia: “barabarians” “heritics” “idiots” “have no comprehensive of a ruling government” “dishonor on you! Dishonor on your family. Dishonor on your cow-“

Legolas: we’ve even made a game of it!

Kleoyia: *turns her notpad around to show a bingo square* Bingo! Everytime we have to interact with you light elves-

Legolas: we bring a bingo sheet with common insults you hurl at us and see who has bingo the fastest.

Kleoyia: it’s usually filled within 15 minutes.

Legolas: ironically the 2 squares that are almost never crossed off are “original insults” and “acusations of things we’ve actually done”

Kleoyia: we keep them in because it makes it interesting

Legolas: but really, do you never get tired of the same song and dance over and over and over again?

Kleoyia: at this point your insecurities and issues are easy to see

Legolas: it’s like going to a museum. “And over there is your superiority complex, over there is your self loathing, and over here is the crippling fear of being an outcast amongst your pears, so instead you make others the outcast!”

Kleoyia: “now if you follow me to exhibit b, we can see how these personal issues fuel violent and discriminatory actions against a people you’ve no understanding of just trying to live there lives”

Legolas: don’t you ever get tired of the constant hatred you spew?

Kleoyia: if i had the time and energy you have to spare to hate people that don’t even know you exist, i could probably solve world hunger.

Legolas: so why don’t you eat something and go to bed? You get cranky when you’re hungry.

Kleoyia: after all, babies need plenty of rest in order to grow into productive, esteemed members of society!

Light elf:......

Elladan and elrohir, who invited the sibs in the first place and watched all this go down: holy shit-

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Thranduil: *holding the shards of a vase* all right, who broke it? I’m not mad, i just want to know.

Lasgen, Lirion, Kleoyia, & Legolas: *not saying a thing because they’re ride or die, not snitches.*

Lasgen: .... it’s was ugly anyway.

Kleoyia: right? I’ve wanted to “accidentally” destroy it for years.

Legolas: I’m actually low-key upset we didn’t destroy it.

Lirion: we could have used it in a rage room. Would have had more value that way.

Thranduil: guys, really?

Cloudryad: *walks past* oh, that thing’s finally gone? About time.

Thranduil: *spluttering* MOM!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas: *goes to imlardis officially to announce that gollum has escaped, unofficialy to spy on the other elven haven now that they’ve gotten word via the trees that the ring has been found and a council called bc Akami knows those elves will conveniently forget to inform the silvans until sauron is at their front door* *sends a letter back to greenwood that reads: lmao brb; gotta go on a secret mission to destroy the ring so that we can kill Sauron once and for all, don’t wait up. Ps. If someone can do my paperwork that’d be great! Consider it a reward for going on such a dangerous quest 😁*

His siblings: that little shit, getting out of a year’s worth of paperwork!

Legolas, sending a second missive: 😝

His siblings: that little bitch-

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Arwen: so, why are you here? Not that i don’t enjoy your visits, but this was rather unexpected?

Legolas: i’m hiding out here because i accidentally destroyed a book belonging to one of my partners and i refuse to return until she’s not inclined to throw me off a cliff.

Elladan: that... was not what i was expecting.

Elrohir: can’t you just ask you family for help?

Legolas: *deadpan* when i asked Kleoyia, she said “LMAO, sucks to be you, bruh!” And left the room cackling like a witch.

Legolas: Lasgen looked at me with dead eyes from where she was seated surrounded by paperwork and told me to get out of her sight before she decided fratricide was a viable option.

Legolas: and i’m not entering my brother’s lab unless it’s the end of the world, i’d get used as an experiment.

Legolas: so no.

Arwen: what about your dad?

Legolas: that traitor would turn me in.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

“Don’t ever fight someone” meme, but in my Thranduil & Miriel are twins au:

Don’t ever fight an ellon in a dress - there’s no way to win: Oropher

Don’t ever fight a dancer - it’s bullshit that such a flamboyant sport translates so well to physical violence: Legolas

Don’t ever fight somebody who’s smiling when you punch them - they’ve been waiting for that for a long time: Kleoyia

Don’t ever fight somebody who says “let me take a shot first” - they will never go down: Lirion

Don’t fight anybody from Lake Cuivienen - just... Don’t: Miriel

Don’t ever fight somebody around their wolf - they won’t need to lift a finger: Cloudryad

Don’t ever fight a trans man - they are way to excited to kick the fuck out of you: Thranduil

Don’t ever fight somebody who leans in when you tell them you want to fight - they’re about to murder you: Lasgen

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas, Lasgen, Kleoyia, and Lirion once had a competition to see who could wear heals the longest. The conditions were that they always had to wear the heals unless they were going to bed to sleep (they could not take the heels off for fighting, parkour, relaxing, or even s*x) and they would pick each other’s heals.

The competition lasted for over 30 years.

It’s shenanigans like these that keep these siblings from going insane over the many millennia that they live through.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

I personally have legolas as part of a triad in my au and i just-

Sukanra (wife): *sensually dancing during a party bc she’s feeling sexy*

Iznake (husband): *blushing bright red and peeping through his fingers* i-im looking respectfully-

Legolas (husband): *blatantly staring and grinning* well, i’m looking disrespectfully. I’m looking carnally. I’m looking like a whore-

Sukanra: *smirks and beckons them closer*

Legolas, dragging Iznake with him: let’s go!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas’s family’s jobs/responsibilities:

Thranduil: “king”, he really is the leader of the silvans but he was elected. Leadership does not pass down through the bloodline. Basically in charge of the silvans, the silvan army as a whole, as well as maintaining at least civil relations with the other elven realms. Most notably the other avari countries, bc, unlike the light elves, they don’t mind murder. Also, the silvans have had 4 different wars with them by the time the third age rolled around, there is tension there. It has gotten more chill over the millenia though.

Cloudryad: whatever she wants, basically. She was the leader of the silvans for millenia, she’s done. She does occasionally courier things between the silvans and avari, though. She’s got a wolf pack, so don’t piss her off. Tends to travel with the Nomad Avari elves in her free time.

Lasgen: Basically the creator and head of the silvans’ Assassination/black ops squad. Is only thrown onto the battlefield when they need a one sided massacre bc otherwise it’s just over kill. Instrumental in maintaining good relationships with the other Avari countries bc she gets on really well with most of the other generals. (Mind you, she gets along with the generals in the third age, she was down with ripping out the throats of their predecessors)

Lirion: head of R&D department. People are fooled into believing he’s the responsible one bc he’s more introverted. Yeah, no, he’s a mad scientist. Has torn apart the time/space continuum on several occasions. “I don’t fear god, he fears me”

Kleoyia: switches between a scout and the head of the Torture and Interrogation department. She’s really good at the torturing, so she’s always brought in on the large cases, but she also likes to travel throughout the world with nothing more than her horse. Fastest rider, which means she’s occasionally a messenger as well. She likes traveling so as to not loose herself to her more gruesome job.

Legolas: He’s actually a really respected warrior who often leads teams/squads. He’s the one that spends the most times out fighting, bc Lirion’s not interested, Kleoyia is more useful at gathering information in one form or another, and throwing Lasgen into the mix is overkill 95% of the time. Legolas is also the best elf to send in order to maintain positive relationships with the light elves bc he’s the least likely to explode.

Oropher: he’s dead.

Miriel: she’s also dead.

(Actually, wouldn’t it be cool if the silvans and avari, as a virtue of not worshiping the valar and instead worshiping their own gods, do not go to the halls of Mandos when they die and are instead transfered to an afterlife created by the very gods they worship? And that’s why you can’t find any of them in the halls or valinor? And why Miriel’s spirit ‘refused to come out of the halls’ (aka: the valar have no clue where she is)?)

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

For those of wyou who want a face to the names of Legolas's siblings in my AU

top left - Kleoyia, top right - Lirion, bottom left - Lasgen, bottom right - Legolas

Life gets interesting when none of you look alike because you're all half-siblings. the only reason Lasgen and Legolas look alike is because they took after Thranduil.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Favorite music “genre” of legolas + siblings:

Lasgen: “the world’s ending but don’t worry darlin whether we live or die we’ll be fine” “fuck the system”

Lirion: “fuck the system” “if no one’s done it before, i’ll be the first”

Kleoyia: “fuck the system” “i’m gonna kick my ex’s ass”

Legolas: “fuck the system” “you only live once so enjoy it”

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas: love me, love me, say that you love me~

Legolas: fool me, fool me, oh how you fool me~

Something in Lirion’s lab: *explodes*

Legolas: what the fuck was that-

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Legolas and his siblings get kidnapped for ransom:

*Lasgen’s turn*

Kidnapper: we have your daughter.

Thranduil: no, you don’t.

Kidnapper:

Kidnapper: y-yes, we do.

Thranduil: no, you don’t. Have a good day. *hangs up phone*

Kidnapper: wh- *incoherent screaming*

————————————————-

*Lirion’s turn*

Kidnapper: take him back!

Thranduil, having just picked up the phone: no.

Kidnapper: please, he’s talking about how he would cut us open to see how our organs move!

Thranduil: well, maybe you shouldn’t have kidnapped him then.

Kidnapper: oh god, now he’s talking about genetically altering us so our children look like blob fish-

Thranduil: calm down, he hasn’t gotten to the stage where he’s threatening to go back in time and wipe your entire family line from existence yet. You have time.

Kidnapper: he’s going to what?!?

—————————————————

*Kleoyia’s turn*

Thranduil: *dials a number*

Kleoyia: *picks it up as she’s grabbing a knife* oh hey, ada!

Thranduil: a little birdy told me you had been kidnapped.

Kleoyia: that? Oh, yeah, but then i got bored and decided to switch our places.

Thranduil: ah, ok. Be home by dark and tell me what you’ve got out of them when you’re back.

Kleoyia: gotcha! *hangs up*

Kleoyia, pointing a knife at the tied up kidnappers who are crying: oh don’t cry, i have a feeling we’ll get to know each other very well.

—————————————————-

*Legolas’s turn*

Kidnapper: we have your son.

Thranduil: uhuh.

Kidnapper: we want-

Legolas: *muffled through the phone* Tell him i’m not filling out paperwork for getting kidnapped!

Kidnapper, to legolas: Hey! Shut it!

Legolas: oi! I’m not taking responsibility for your mistakes!

Kidnapper, to accomplice: i thought i told you to gag him!

Accomplice: i did!

Kidnapper: well clearly not good enough seeing as he’s still speaking! Now, THIS is how you gag some- where did he go?

Accomplish: *starts screaming*

Kidnapped: *SCREACHING* IT’S A GODDAMNED DEMON- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?!

Thranduil:

Thranduil: *hangs up* he’ll be fine.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Heigh comparisons for the elves in my “pushing my miriel and thranduil are twins agenda” and “4 silvan sibs” au.

Cloudryad looks so small, but she’s one of the only ones to have a normal height.

Oropher is a tall boy, and only slightly shorter than his nephew elwe.

Miriel and thranduil are identical twins, except thranduil’s trans so of course they’re the same height.

Lasgen somehow being the exact height of her father was interesting.

Lirion got some of those oropher genes, though not enough to break 7ft.

Kleoyia’s still resonably tall for most people, but she’s on the shorter side of the family.

Legolas is eternally pissed for not only being the youngest but also the shortest of his siblings.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

So (my au) legolas has big-ish family, right?

Like, obviously it’s not as big as it could be because it’s only 3 generations, as opposed to most elven families who have dozens of generations by the end of the 3rd age.

Anyways,

Legolas has 3 older siblings, his dad, and his grandma, who are all still alive and kicking in middle earth during the third age, but the only times they’re together is in greenwood. They are pretty much never in each other’s facinity outside of their forest, so while other beings and elves are subconsciously aware that legolas has a family, they’ve never met any of them, or realized that the ones they have met are 1 of legolas’s family members.

Literally the only reason any of the other elves realized legolas was thranduil’s son in the first place, despite having met him many times before, is because thranduil was like:

Thranduil: fuck. I have a meeting with the other elven leaders scheduled next week as an update meeting. I really don’t want to deal with it.

Legolas, the only one of his siblings currently in the palace: *minding his own business*

Thranduil: *yoinks legolas* fuck it, according to the noldor, in case the king can’t make it, the king’s kids can represent them.

Legolas, the poor unfortunate soul: *screeches as he’s unceremoniously grabbed and all but shoved in the direction of the meeting place*

Later:

Elrond: *confused why this elf is here and not the silvan king* legolas? Why are you here?

Legolas, a spitefull petty bitch: i am here to represent my father king Thranduil, as he is unavailable due to mourning his wife, who was killed in an attack several weeks ago.

Later:

Trans Thranduil, whose kids are all products of flings and has never had a wife, receiving condolence letters from other elven leaders: legolas, you little shit-

Lasgen, Lirion, and Kleoyia when they heard what legolas pulled: *cackles* *dying of laughter*

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

*The siblings are about to do something dangerous*

Kleoyia: Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk?

Legolas: Go ahead.

Kleoyia: Be careful.

Kleoyia: Don’t die.

Lasgen: *Holds back a laugh*

Lirion: Great. We’re all bloody inspired.