#Kill broker Now

[cranescurses]

.. Huiiiiuuiiiiii scyker for youriur souls

[jessaerys]

can't think about broker's fees for too long or i'll start 3d printing a ghost gun

[werecreature-addicted]

fic idea:

Arranged marriage with the alpha of a werewolf pack to broker peace and even though it's a shell marriage you are still expected to act like a happy loving couple every now and then. He's a nice enough Alpha. a good guy who respects you and your boundaries, he's busy though, it's rare you see him unless for scheduled events where you'll both be in attendance. You feel like you don't really know him, that there could be anything under that mask of polite care. He's more like a good coworker than your husband.

The pack Beta though? He's with you constantly, you know him inside and out, and he knows you just the same. He's maybe not as big as the alpha, but he is still a werewolf, still larger and with sharper teeth than any human you've ever seen. And he loves you, he calls you his mate behind closed doors. Kisses and pleasures you while your Alpha husband is away at work. It kills him that it's his alpha's mark on your neck, not his, he gets sick to his stomach if he thinks about it too much, but the way you scream for him when he fucks you, and the way he's always your first choice when you need something, that soothes the ache a little. He knows you aren't in love with your husband and never were, but if he has to watch you kiss his alpha one more time at a stupid party he's going to snap someone's neck.

[nitewrighter]

Snow White and the Fae Co-Op

Part One: I Didn't Vote For You

Okay so like--

I get why people thought we were all dwarves. Or made us all dwarves. Something between that. Collaborative storytelling what have you. It makes things significantly simpler, and it's a much punchier title than "Snow White and the Troll, the Redcap, the Púca, and four gnomes." (Of course I get top billing--I was her favorite.) And, okay, yeah, none of us came up past Snow's ribcage. Understandable.

But still it's like one of those things you don't want to start correcting people on it because you know you're going to spend the rest of your life correcting and concordantly explaining shit to people. But now it's like, you're pissed when we are dwarves, you're pissed when we're not dwarves, seriously! Pick a lane!

But okay, it seems everyone's pissed about this right now, so let's get pedantic.

We aren't sexy fairies.

Okay I didn't start that out right.

I guess it's easiest to explain this as... think of the ocean. So like, there are the scary sexy fairies who have the whole Succession/Bridgerton/White Lotus Fae Court thing going and they turn you into a deer and hunt you for sport, that's the Deep End. Then you have humans. Humans, in this metaphor, are land.

Me and my guys? We're tide pools.

A lot of stories are all like "Ougggh the magic is dying from this world ouggghhh the old ruined kingdoms" but in my opinion I think that's overall a case of Immortals Being Very Weird About Change In General. Like the tide, magic in this world rises and falls, and in the course of that you end up with this kind of hardy subgroup of fae who can survive in both High-Fae and High-Human environments. We're kind of our own ecosystem, but we're also kind of intermediaries between the Deep End Fae Court and the humans. We actually tend to broker a lot of more like, working class deals between the magical world and the human world. Maybe we get compared to the mob a lot. Whatever.

I'm getting into the weeds. This story isn't about me and the guys. This is about our girl, Snow. And trust me, I'm old as balls so before you get all 'Oh, one girl and seven guys? wHAt waS gOinG oN tHeRE?" (And you're absolutely disgusting for that, by the way). You need to understand that, on a species level, Snow was basically like keeping a very beautiful (albeit kind of bossy) sentient duck in the house. We loved our beautiful sentient duck and were impressed by the many talents of the beautiful sentient duck. No one desired the beautiful sentient duck on a romantic or physical level because, one, romantic and sexual desire for our subgroup of fae is very tedious, nuanced, and species-specific, and two, she was a duck. I mean she wasn't a duck, she was a human, but for us that's basically like being a sentient duck. All of those shitty "One girl seven guys" jokes I can definitely say are a result of human projection. Like again, you need to understand that my guys and me have basically gone through Magic Carcinization.

Again, I'm getting into the weeds.

All you need to know about Snow is that she broke into our house, she scares the shit out of us, and we would kill for her.

Okay you should probably know more than that.

Okay, so remember like 12 seconds ago when I said me and my guys are more of the working-class brokers between humans and Fae? And remember that Deep End I mentioned earlier? So like, the Deep End does deal with humans, but that tilts heavily into the 'Royalty and Miracles' side of things. Swords in stones. Swords in lakes. A fish that gives you all of the cosmic secrets of the universe when you eat it. That kind of stuff. That's kind of where Snow came from. She's a Fae weapon forged in a human womb. Hence why she scared the shit out of us.

How do I start this properly?

Once upon a time there were three human kingdoms. An icy kingdom in the north, a temperate kingdom in the west, and a, let's be real, damp kingdom in the east. Icy Kingdom had a queen, a beautiful queen, and the Deep End of the Fae love beautiful things. Beautiful Queen wanted more, and she made a deal with the Deep End of the Fae. She gave them her heart, and they give her a mirror that gives her sight beyond sight, and she used that to conquer Damp Kingdom in the East. They fought, but she could predict every one of their strategies with her mirror, all she needed to do was ask the mirror what this general is doing, or that Lord is doing, and bing-bang-boom, she took Damp Kingdom in a matter of months. And for good measure she took their baby boy prince, a pretty but frankly useless boy who, as the years went on and he grew, she largely kept for cup-bearing and harp-playing and decoration and also threatening to cut the head off of if Damp Kingdom ever stepped out of line. Because Damp Kingdom loved their pretty pretty baby boy prince as the last remnant of their royal bloodline, they were now thoroughly cowed.

So now the Queen turned her eyes to the Temperate Kingdom.

And this is when the Deep End Fae were like, "Hey okay you've conquered a neighboring kingdom, which we don't super-care-about for nebulous Fae Reasons, but for equally nebulous Fae Reasons, we don't want you to conquer Temperate Kingdom."

And the Queen was like, "Whatever."

And the Deep End Fae were like "Okay, then here's the part where we use that previous thing you gave us against you." And they tried to use her heart against her, but basically the Queen used the Mirror to circumvent the heart magic through a whole bunch of... jury-rigged alchemy shit? I don't know. This stuff was already way out of my pay grade. But what I do know is, the Deep End Fae realized they couldn't use the Evil Queen's previous deal as a failsafe against her, so they needed a new approach to stop her.

Temperate Kingdom was ruled by a kind king and queen. They also didn't want to be conquered, but things weren't looking good. Their capital city was under siege. The Kind Queen was pregnant and ready to pop--scratch that, currently popping. The king was mortally wounded while defending said Capital City. They dragged the mortally wounded king back to the bailey and he's all delirious ranting about his wife and the not-yet baby.

And then a figure in a mossy cloak appeared. They loomed over the mortally wounded king and they said very gently "Your blood will outlast you. Do you permit our assistance in this? Do you permit the cost?"

And the king was dying and he only understood like 40% of what was going on right now. He knew what was talking to him right now wasn't human. He knew you don't refuse a gift from the Fae. And he knew he was kind of safely in the 'fucked-up miracle' territory of Fae gifts though he didn't really understand the full extent of what that meant (and that's fair--no one does). He kind of assumed it would just be his own life as the cost of whatever the hell was happening here. So he's bleeding out and he nods. "If it will preserve the Kingdom," he says, "If it will save our child."

So we cut to the queen. The royal birthing is... okay it's going rough. Giving birth under siege will do that to you. In ideal circumstances you would have this hardcore butch midwife stick most of her forearm up the birth canal to reposition the baby and both the mother and child would live but... you didn't have that here. Instead, once more, the figure in the mossy cloak loomed over the Queen as she screamed through agonizing contraction after contraction. They touched two fingers to the queen's forehead and they gave her a flood of visions. Snow. Fire. Blood. Blackened earth. A little sapling growing from the body of a great and noble felled tree. And she looked to the figure in the mossy cloak. And she saw their face was kind.

The kind queen died in childbirth as the Evil Queen's forces overtook the capital city. The king was dead before he knew what deal he had made. The Evil Queen and her troops marched into the grand hall, only to see a figure in a mossy cloak seated on a little stool next to a wooden bassinet. The Evil Queen made that anime villain snort-scoff sound.

"So kind of you to offer your blessing in my victory," she said.

"This is not a blessing we offer," said the figure in a mossy cloak, "You have abused the gift given in our previous trade. The trust between us is breached. We now give you back that which you gave us. All you have won for yourself will rot. And as with all rot, new and rightful life will spring from it."

And the Evil Queen almost laughed at this at first, again, like "Whatever," but then after a few seconds she begins to do the math. In exchange for a mirror that gave her sight beyond sight, she gave the fae her heart, and then she jury-rigged a whole bunch of magical alchemical bullshit to protect herself from basically being shackled to the fae's will through her heart, because hey, if you can, that's what you do.

But what happens if your heart is no longer your heart?

What happens if the Fae bind your heart to someone else?

What happens if your heart is now wrapped in different royal blood from the kingdom the Fae told you specifically you're not supposed to conquer?

And that was Snow.

The most beautiful, weirdest, most uncanny-ass baby you've ever seen. AND she had that weird undercooked look all human babies have. A semi-formed little beast. Can you imagine looking at an infant and knowing it's going to burn down everything you've ever built? Can you imagine knowing that trying to smother this threat in its crib will burn everything down, too?

But you think, "It's okay. I can manage this. Plants can be molded in to bonsai and topiary. I can shape this to suit my needs, too. It just takes care. It just takes maintenance."

And that's when Evil Queen declares, "As a symbol of healing between our kingdoms, I will raise this child as my own." And she gives a sharp glance to the figure in the mossy cloak, and they give an assenting motion with their... probably head? Probably.

And she awkwardly takes up the baby in the crook of her arm. Wow awesome, she already has an amazing propaganda tool. There's no way this is going to backfire on her in like... 17 or 18 years.

Except you know it will. Because this is the "Fucked up miracles" side of shit we're talking about. And the Evil Queen is not on the side of miracles.

Fucking hell, that's all a mouthful, and Snow hasn't even met us yet! Look, I'm gonna take a smoke break and I'll get back to you in a minute, okay?

[captain-hawks]

yakuza!kuroo, 18+ (fingering, oral sex f!receiving)

it’s your wedding night, and kuroo is weak.

weak after months of watching you yearn for his affection, of watching your hopeful expression morph into something painfully resigned (it feels like a gash behind his ribcage).

he thinks back to the night he took your father aside. he didn’t even know you, yet he found himself pleading with your father not broker a deal with nohebi. not to marry you off to fucking daishou suguru.

“he’ll ruin her,” kuroo bit out, because he knows what happened to daishou’s last wife (he shudders at the memory of it).

the thought of another woman going through that makes him sick to his stomach.

“i have no other choice to keep her safe right now,” your father stared at him, blunt and unapologetic. “you know who i am, what that entails.”

marriage was such a foreign concept to kuroo at the time, he’d never considered it for any sort of arrangement, let alone out of love. and yet—

“i’ll marry her.”

your father had warned him not to get attached. the engagement, the marriage—it’s all meant to be temporary. until things in tokyo cool down or your father decides to whisk you off somewhere else entirely.

you’re with kuroo for nekoma’s protection.

you don’t know this, of course. that kuroo’s been keeping you at arm’s length because he doesn’t want to hurt you when this charade crumbles. it’s better for you to hate him from the start.

(and really, he doesn’t trust himself to be able to let you go back to your father once he’s truly had you. once you’re really his.)

but it’s your wedding night.

and kuroo tetsurou has become a weak, weak man.

(weak for you.)

“do you want help?”

kuroo pauses in front of your bedroom, door left slightly ajar, gaze falling to where you’re currently struggling to undo the straps of your heels.

you blink at him several times, and he can’t blame you for being surprised. he’s never set foot in your bedroom, after all (not counting the night he brought you home after you were abducted—when he wouldn’t let anyone else touch you as he carried you in his arms to your bed).

but you eventually nod, collapsing back onto your mattress in a huff.

you changed into a short, thin, white silky dress for the latter half of the evening, one that’s been mercilessly eating away at the frayed edges of kuroo’s wavering self-control. and now your pretty, smooth thighs are on full display as the skirt unapologetically rides up with the position that you’re in.

kuroo inhales slowly before coming to kneel between your legs, trying not to revel in the way he feels you immediately react to the feeling of his hands wrapping around your ankles.

he doesn’t mean to do it, doesn’t mean to run the pad of his thumb over the arch of your foot (doesn’t mean to forget to breathe as he listens to your answering sharp intake of breath).

but kuroo is weak, weak for you. weak for his wife.

and when his heat of his lips finds your ankle, he can’t bring himself to care about anything else but the way you whimper his name.

“kuroo.”

he glances up at you, finds you sitting up halfway on your elbows staring at him with an expression that has his pants tightening almost painfully against the swell of his cock.

“i think we can agree it’s tetsurou now, no?” he asks before leaning back in to press a longer, hotter open-mouthed kiss to your knee.

your fingers bunch in the sheets.

“tetsurou,” you gasp.

kuroo feels something zip down his spine at the sound of those syllables dancing off of your tongue. and it’s a little terrifying, the sudden free fall he finds himself in—this near-loss of control.

because in this moment, kuroo knows he’d do anything to hear that sound again.

and he knows that despite all of the distance he’s wedged between the two of you, despite the fact that that this is supposed to be business and you were never really meant to be his—

kuroo knows now that if someone wants to take you away from him, they’re going to have to kill him first.

he wraps his hands around your waist and pulls you to the edge of the mattress, slowly sliding up the skirt of your dress as he greedily kisses his way up the inside of your thighs.

you’re so fucking sensitive beneath his touch he thinks he’s going to lose his mind.

your panties are the same blood red shade as the tie he wore today. his cock aches at the revelation. he runs a careful finger over the lace, staring up at you from where he’s still kneeling between your spread legs.

“can i touch you?” he asks, voice a little hoarse.

you have to smother a laugh with your hand, borderline hysterical over the implication that there’s any universe where you’d deny him. kuroo fights the urge to palm his dick through his pants as you say “yes” and “please.”

the lace tickles his lips as kuroo mouths at your cunt through your panties, teasing you until the material’s wholly soaked through with his spit and your arousal as you unconsciously bury your fingers in his hair and beg him for more.

you loosen your grip when he stops sucking at your clothed pussy, eyes widening a little as you realize you were pulling his hair.

“sorry,” you breathe out.

kuroo grins, butting his head against your hovering hand, “no, i like it.”

hooking a finger in your panties and tugging them aside, he lets his teeth press into his lower lip as he stares at the messy slick dripping from your folds.

for him.

he swipes his thumb up and down the length of your slit, just barely skirting the swollen, waiting bundle of nerves at your apex.

“you’re so wet,” he murmurs, feeling the messy smear of precum steadily soaking into his pants while you buck your hips into his touch.

kuroo’s never had the pleasure of coming untouched.

but he thinks he could when he slides a finger into your soaking wet cunt and feels the way your creamy walls tighten around him.

he thinks that the sound of you moaning his name alone could milk his cock dry as he fucks you with one finger until you’re begging for two, pulling his hair and cupping his face in a desperate frenzy.

and then kuroo slides off your panties and buries his tongue in your cunt, and he feels just as gone as you sound and feel while you’re wildly bucking into his touch, choking out a sob as a wet spray squirts out of you while when he sends you tumbling over the edge of your climax.

(he groans against your pussy as he feels his cock finally twitching and pulsing hot and thick in his boxers.)

the two of you sit there for minutes afterward, you on the bed and him kneeling on the floor before you, both of you struggling to catch your breath. to make sense of what just happened.

and something inside of kuroo cracks open at the shuttered look of rejection that begins to sink across your face when he goes to stand up, takes a step away.

you don’t try to stop him.

but he leans in, pressing a kiss to your temple as he murmurs, “i’m just getting a towel to clean you up.”

you look up at him, lips parting slightly in surprise.

“i’m not leaving,” he assures you, slowly stroking the curve of your jaw.

[witchthewriter]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ female, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

Also this is 18+ ... we acting like grown ups.

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

𝑼𝒉𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒅

“Destiny is all… but you were never part of the plan.”

・This marriage is a strategic alliance. An act to broker peace between two warring factions.

・Even though Uhtred wants this peace, he isn't thrilled about it.

・At first his mindset was to keep you alive, but the more you got to know each other...the more he was in denial:

“I don’t care about her. I just need to make sure she stays alive… for the alliance. That’s all.”

・What started as a simple sword lesson had turned into him pushing you harder than he intended. Wanting you to see the true strength of opponents.

・He didn't want to sugarcoat what war and battles were. (Not that you had been fantasising about them anyway).

・Uhtred thought his lesson was going well until you finally knocked him to the ground.

・For a split second, he was shocked...stunned and then he stared up at you, breathing heavily. And then he smirked.

・Showing indifference, Uhtred trains you to fight. And adorns you with proper fighting gear, a shield and gets a blacksmith to make your very own sword.

・Even in the early stages of your marriage, Uhtred would subconsciously protect you - no matter where you were or what you were doing. E.g., even at the tavern, he never let anyone get too close (his men were like three other bodyguards)

・You were glad for Finan, he became like a brother to you. Always making things lighter, bringing the humour.

・Because you were constantly on the road with the four men. And Uhtred didn't trust anyone else to take care of you.

・But he would never say that...

・Sihtric barely spoke to you, but he held a lot of respect for you.

・Over time, Sihtric becomes one of your fiercest defenders, in battle and in life. Like a quiet shadow, a forcefield ensuring no harm comes to you.

・Osferth; he's your first friend, real friend, although he was a bit awkward. You become the sister he's always wanted. And he becomes that little brother who wants to follow you everywhere and do everything you're doing...

・The truth of Uhtred's feelings comes out during a heated argument. After nearly getting himself killed...again, you accuse him of putting too much at risk to gain Bebbanburg, that he cares too much about gaining that castle back.

・Shocked, ashamed, embarrassed that you would say that. Uhtred's face heats, and what you say is truth. Well, it was truth, until:

"I have spent my whole life fighting for Bebbanburg! But then you came along, and now I’m fighting for something else. For you. Don’t you see that?”

𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖:

“My Heart” uses this one when you have private moments and when he feels vulnerable. I.e., after a battle or during soft, intimate conversations.

“Shieldmaiden” is used in front of his men, showing his pride in you.

“Wife” is both teasing and affectionate, often said when you’re being stubborn.

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Shared Vision and Purpose

Closed Off (Uhtred) x The Person They Warm Up To (You)

Brave Warrior (Uhtred) x Self-Assured Damsel (You)

Places His Wife Above Everyone

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Home Is Wherever You Are

The Parents Of The Group

Reluctant Allies to Lovers

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Kingdom Dance by Alan Menken

Scotland by BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra

I Had To Do That by James Newton Howard

𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒏

“I didn’t want this, but now? I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

・Your marriage was a political alliance to strengthen ties between Ireland and the Saxons. Finan, as Uhtred’s right hand, was seen as a valuable connection.

・How else could Finan endure this other than with humour?

・As soon as you met him, he was cracking jokes. Sometimes he was funny, other times you were annoyed - because he was constantly making light of ... everything.

・When you called him out on it, he sighed, "I'm sorry lass. It's ah...the only way I know how to cope sometimes."

“She’s alright, I guess. I mean, for someone who can’t keep up in a fight…” (He says this right before throwing himself in front of an arrow meant for you.)

・Day by day, you were slowly opening up to each other. Learning through talking by the fire, on horseback, walking through the forest.

・Soon Finan began to lean close while talking to you, staring into your eyes, moving a piece of hair behind your ear, brushing past you "accidentally", etc.

・Finan was always looking to see if you were okay. Even in a crowded hall, his gaze would flick to you every few moments, but if he was ever caught, he'd smirk and look away.

・Whenever you feel down, Finan doesn't mind making a fool of himself to make you laugh

・If talking doesn't help, he'd happily slip in the mud during training or let Sihtric carry him around bridal style.

・One night, as a joke, you tied a small braid into his hair, saying it makes him look more "noble." He laughed it off but didn't take it out... he wore it for days afterward.

・His feelings are brought to light during a drunken night around the fire. The others were sharing stories about what they fight for; land, honour, family, ... fun.

・Someone asked Finan and as he was about to make a joke, he glanced at you.

・Your face was illuminated by the light of the flames, and it hit him like a punch to the gut.

"Her."

Silence fell. He looked to you who was wide-eyed, "I'll always fight for you."

𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖

“Lass” is his go-to—light, teasing, and affectionate.

“Trouble” slips out when you’re bickering or challenging him (which is often).

“Little One” is playful, his everyday teasing, often when he’s trying to make you laugh.

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

You Fell First, But He Fell Harder

Constant Banter

The Sarcastic Duo That Can Finish Each Other's Insults

Places His Wife Above Everyone

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Height Difference

Bickering and Banter

Timeless Love

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Say Yes To Heaven by Lana Del Rey

Valerie by the Midnite String Quartet

Happily Ever After by George Fenton

𝑺𝒊𝒉𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒄

“You make me feel like I belong… like I'm worth loving.”

・For Sihtric, he was forced to marry you. The King willed it so. It was a cruel decision. the King wanted to somehow split up Uhtred's group - make it harder for them to be connected.

・It didn't turn out how the Monarch intended...the group just kept you with them.

“I don’t care if she notices me. I’m just here to protect her.” (He says while carrying a pouch full of the random trinkets you’ve given him.)

・You were trained by all of them in battle; how to defend, attack, how to do a shield wall etc.

・Spending time with the men was fun; even if Sihtric was silent most of the time.

・Finan always made you laugh, and Osferth made you feel comfortable no matter what the context was.

・In time, you truly thought of Uhtred as your leader. And you too called him 'Lord.'

・Sihtric constantly lingered in the background. He was always nearby, however, he was never imposing. Just ensuring you were safe.

・You were very different to what everyone thought. There was a softness in you. A heart of gold.

・When you became comfortable around Sihtric, you started to give him things.

・Particularly things you found on your journeys. E.g., many many rocks; smooth river stones, shiny pebbles (anything shiny really), beautiful feathers from birds, flowers that have specific meanings etc.

・And he keeps every single item.

・His pockets are completely full.

・Sihtric is constantly staring, but instantly looks away when he's caught. A small blush dusting his cheeks.

・Another thing is his quiet gestures...he'll fix your armor, puts extra supplies on your horse, sharpens your sword without saying a word.

・The love you hold for each other comes out during the aftermath of a brutal fight.

・You were tending to Sihtric's wounds, hands trembling as you stitched a deep cut on his arm.

・Sihtric couldn't help but watch your face, the concetration, the look of concern.

・You were both silent until you uttered, "You...you could have been killed," your voice was soft but full of emotion.

・Sihtric caught your wrist, his blood-stained fingers entwining with yours.

In a voice so wrapped with truth, Sihtric whispered, "I would die for you. Without hesitation. "

・This marriage wasn't duty anymore. Now...it was love.

𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖

“Little Blade” pops up during training sessions or when you sass him.

“Mine” is possessive, intense, and usually slips out during high-stakes moments.

“Angel” when he’s overwhelmed with how much he adores you.

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Madly In Love (Sihtric) x Ridiculously Oblivious (You)

Sun (You) x Moon (Him)

Always Bringing Them Rocks They Think They Would Like (You) x Keeps The Rocks (Him)

Places His Wife Above Everyone

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Healing and Redemption

Unbreakable Bond

Emotional Intimacy

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Me and Your Mama by Childish Gambino

Sex On Fire by Midnite String Quartet

Fire In The Water by Feist

𝑶𝒔𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒉

“You make me brave. Brave enough to be yours.”

・The marriage was to save your life. Many Saxons wanted you dead, but a marriage to a religious Saxon meant you'd be safe.

・Early on in the marriage Osferth would blush at everything you did. From compliments to teasing, he was constantly red-faced.

・But as your time together grew, he started seeking out those moments.

・Even though he’s usually mild-mannered, if anyone speaks poorly of you, Osferth is the first to step up; sword in hand, voice shaking, but unwilling to step down.

・Osferth would give you thoughtful gifts. Small items like a bunch of wildflowers, a smooth stone, etc. But never admitting they’re from him.

“She’s just being friendly. That’s what this is… right?” (As he turns red after you compliment his sword-fighting.)

・Both of you faced your feelings when he thought he lost you.

・It was after a battle; a close one where you all were separated from each other. You were missing for a few hours, and Osferth had been searching unrelentlessly.

・With each moment his panic had risen. His heart beating so fast he thought he might die.

・But he did find you. You were unconscius but alive.

・Osferth cradled you, tears in his eyes while whispering his feelings:

“Please, don’t go. I… I love you. I should have said it before.”

・You stirred at his words, opening your eyes, smiling lightly.

・Blinking slowly, you hummed. Moving to hold onto his arm.

"I love you too."

𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖

“Sweetheart” is his everyday term — filled with gentle love.

“Dearest” slips out when he’s overwhelmed with love — often in moments of shyness or soft confessions.

“Braveheart” is used when he’s overwhelmed by your strength, often after emotional or dangerous moments.

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

He Confessed His Love When Thinking You Were Unconscious 

Black Cat (You) x Golden Retriever (Osferth)

Menace To Society (You) x Living Moral Compass (Osferth)

Places His Wife Above Everyone

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Trust and Dependence

Intertwined Destinies

Love Conquers All

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush

The Train by James Newton Howard

Let The Light In by Lana Del Rey

𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒈𝒈𝒓

“I would follow you to the ends of the earth—because without you, none of this matters.”

・There was constant tension whenever you were around Sigtryggr.

・He rarely spoke to you in the early days of your marriage.

・Seeing it only as a way for him to gain more power

・And in return, your family would be safe - your village, kingdom, would not be harmed by any Dane.

・You kept your own beliefs and wore your traditional family clothes, even though you did not know when you would see your family again.

“She talks too much… but I don’t want her to stop.”

・Watches you when he thinks you aren’t looking.

・His stoic exterior hides it, but he studies you. Including how you smile, how you move, how you speak.

・Sigtryggr knows what your favourite colour is, what you like to do with your time - all because he notices things. And he wants to know more about you.

・He lets you in; allows you to see glimpses of his vulnerable self.

・He shares stories of his past, things he’s done, things he regrets and waits to see if you’ll turn away. You never do.

・And in a world where he controls everything...he lets you make decisions. E.g., about where to travel, what to eat. He values your opinion.

・When both of your feelings were revealed, it was during a difficult situation.

・You had confronted him after a harsh decision in battle. He had executed someone who defied him.

・It shocked you. But ... you understood. Traitors had to be punished, maybe he went a bit far this time but you understood.

・In the comfort and seclusion of your shared bedroom, you spoke your thoughts.

"Don't you think that was a bit ... brutal? I mean, yes he was a ... traitor but you could have done anything else-"

"I know you think I'm a monster," he replies, his voice low. He wasn't facing you, almost as if he wouldn't. Or couldn't.

"A monster?" You replied, shocked.

"Yes! Do you think I wanted this? To be this man?" His words came out like venom.

You soften, and step closer, "No. No, you aren't a monster. Sigtryggr, I have seen the good in you!

His gaze turns to you, utterly and completely. Gently taking a hold of your wrist, voice low and vulnerable: “I’ve done terrible things… but I would burn the world for you.”

・No more pretending. You had the realisation that...he is completely, undeniably yours.

𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖

“Beloved” used during rare, emotionally charged moments e.g., after a battle, during confessions, or when you’re vulnerable together.

“My Flame” is used when there's passionate, heated arguments or intimate moments.

“Little Chaos” he calls you this when you’re being unpredictable or teasing him.

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Soulmates

"I've done terrible things in the past" (Sig) x "All i care about is who you are in the present" (You)

The Hyperactive (You) x The Unheeded Voice of Reason (Sig)

Places His Wife Above Everyone

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

I Can't Exist Without You

Healing and Rebuilding Together

I Go Wherever You Go

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

One More Hour by Tame Impala

Margaret by Lana Del Rey

Dance Me To The End Of Love by Leonard Cohen

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Ad-tech targeting is an existential threat

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me TORONTO on SUNDAY (Feb 23) at Another Story Books, and in NYC on WEDNESDAY (26 Feb) with JOHN HODGMAN. More tour dates here.

The commercial surveillance industry is almost totally unregulated. Data brokers, ad-tech, and everyone in between – they harvest, store, analyze, sell and rent every intimate, sensitive, potentially compromising fact about your life.

Late last year, I testified at a Consumer Finance Protection Bureau hearing about a proposed new rule to kill off data brokers, who are the lynchpin of the industry:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/16/the-second-best-time-is-now/#the-point-of-a-system-is-what-it-does

The other witnesses were fascinating – and chilling, There was a lawyer from the AARP who explained how data-brokers would let you target ads to categories like "seniors with dementia." Then there was someone from the Pentagon, discussing how anyone could do an ad-buy targeting "people enlisted in the armed forces who have gambling problems." Sure, I thought, and you don't even need these explicit categories: if you served an ad to "people 25-40 with Ivy League/Big Ten law or political science degrees within 5 miles of Congress," you could serve an ad with a malicious payload to every Congressional staffer.

Now, that's just the data brokers. The real action is in ad-tech, a sector dominated by two giant companies, Meta and Google. These companies claim that they are better than the unregulated data-broker cowboys at the bottom of the food-chain. They say they're responsible wielders of unregulated monopoly surveillance power. Reader, they are not.

Meta has been repeatedly caught offering ad-targeting like "depressed teenagers" (great for your next incel recruiting drive):

https://www.technologyreview.com/2017/05/01/105987/is-facebook-targeting-ads-at-sad-teens/

And Google? They just keep on getting caught with both hands in the creepy commercial surveillance cookie-jar. Today, Wired's Dell Cameron and Dhruv Mehrotra report on a way to use Google to target people with chronic illnesses, people in financial distress, and national security "decision makers":

https://www.wired.com/story/google-dv360-banned-audience-segments-national-security/

Google doesn't offer these categories itself, they just allow data-brokers to assemble them and offer them for sale via Google. Just as it's possible to generate a target of "Congressional staffers" by using location and education data, it's possible to target people with chronic illnesses based on things like whether they regularly travel to clinics that treat HIV, asthma, chronic pain, etc.

Google claims that this violates their policies, and that they have best-of-breed technical measures to prevent this from happening, but when Wired asked how this data-broker was able to sell these audiences – including people in menopause, or with "chronic pain, fibromyalgia, psoriasis, arthritis, high cholesterol, and hypertension" – Google did not reply.

The data broker in the report also sold access to people based on which medications they took (including Ambien), people who abuse opioids or are recovering from opioid addiction, people with endocrine disorders, and "contractors with access to restricted US defense-related technologies."

It's easy to see how these categories could enable blackmail, spear-phishing, scams, malvertising, and many other crimes that threaten individuals, groups, and the nation as a whole. The US Office of Naval Intelligence has already published details of how "anonymous" people targeted by ads can be identified:

https://www.odni.gov/files/ODNI/documents/assessments/ODNI-Declassified-Report-on-CAI-January2022.pdf

The most amazing part is how the 33,000 targeting segments came to public light: an activist just pretended to be an ad buyer, and the data-broker sent him the whole package, no questions asked. Johnny Ryan is a brilliant Irish privacy activist with the Irish Council for Civil Liberties. He created a fake data analytics website for a company that wasn't registered anywhere, then sent out a sales query to a brokerage (the brokerage isn't identified in the piece, to prevent bad actors from using it to attack targeted categories of people).

Foreign states, including China – a favorite boogeyman of the US national security establishment – can buy Google's data and target users based on Google ad-tech stack. In the past, Chinese spies have used malvertising – serving targeted ads loaded with malware – to attack their adversaries. Chinese firms spend billions every year to target ads to Americans:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/06/business/google-meta-temu-shein.html

Google and Meta have no meaningful checks to prevent anyone from establishing a shell company that buys and targets ads with their services, and the data-brokers that feed into those services are even less well-protected against fraud and other malicious act.

All of this is only possible because Congress has failed to act on privacy since 1988. That's the year that Congress passed the Video Privacy Protection Act, which bans video store clerks from telling the newspapers which VHS cassettes you have at home. That's also the last time Congress passed a federal consumer privacy law:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_Privacy_Protection_Act

The legislative history of the VPPA is telling: it was passed after a newspaper published the leaked video-rental history of a far-right judge named Robert Bork, whom Reagan hoped to elevate to the Supreme Court. Bork failed his Senate confirmation hearings, but not because of his video rentals (he actually had pretty good taste in movies). Rather, it was because he was a Nixonite criminal and virulent loudmouth racist whose record was strewn with the most disgusting nonsense imaginable).

But the leak of Bork's video-rental history gave Congress the cold grue. His video rental history wasn't embarrassing, but it sure seemed like Congress had some stuff in its video-rental records that they didn't want voters finding out about. They beat all land-speed records in making it a crime to tell anyone what kind of movies they (and we) were watching.

And that was it. For 37 years, Congress has completely failed to pass another consumer privacy law. Which is how we got here – to this moment where you can target ads to suicidal teens, gambling addicted soldiers in Minuteman silos, grannies with Alzheimer's, and every Congressional staffer on the Hill.

Some people think the problem with mass surveillance is a kind of machine-driven, automated mind-control ray. They believe the self-aggrandizing claims of tech bros to have finally perfected the elusive mind-control ray, using big data and machine learning.

But you don't need to accept these outlandish claims – which come from Big Tech's sales literature, wherein they boast to potential advertisers that surveillance ads are devastatingly effective – to understand how and why this is harmful. If you're struggling with opioid addiction and I target an ad to you for a fake cure or rehab center, I haven't brainwashed you – I've just tricked you. We don't have to believe in mind-control to believe that targeted lies can cause unlimited harms.

And those harms are indeed grave. Stein's Law predicts that "anything that can't go on forever eventually stops." Congress's failure on privacy has put us all at risk – including Congress. It's only a matter of time until the commercial surveillance industry is responsible for a massive leak, targeted phishing campaign, or a ghastly national security incident involving Congress. Perhaps then we will get action.

In the meantime, the coalition of people whose problems can be blamed on the failure to update privacy law continues to grow. That coalition includes protesters whose identities were served up to cops, teenagers who were tracked to out-of-state abortion clinics, people of color who were discriminated against in hiring and lending, and anyone who's been harassed with deepfake porn:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/06/privacy-first/#but-not-just-privacy

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/20/privacy-first-second-third/#malvertising

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[ouroborosmoons]

Hamas says will not engage in truce talks unless Israel halts 'hunger war' on Gaza

Basem Naim, a Hamas political bureau member and former Gaza health minister, told AFP there is “no sense in engaging in talks or considering new ceasefire proposals as long as the hunger war and extermination war continue in the Gaza Strip.”

Naim urged the international community to pressure the Israeli regime to end the "crimes of hunger, thirst, and killings.”

His remarks came hours after Israel threatened that it would launch an intensified offensive on Gaza, which, according to Tel Aviv, would entail “the conquest of the Gaza Strip and the holding of the territories.”

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Monday that the new campaign will involve Israeli forces holding on to the seized populated territory and significant displacement of the population.

Nearly all of Gaza’s population of 2.3 million has been displaced, often multiple times, since the regime launched its genocidal war on the territory in October 2023.

The humanitarian situation in the besieged territory has grown increasingly dire since Israel blocked the entry of medical, fuel, and food supplies into Gaza in mid-March when it broke a two-month ceasefire agreement.

The Palestine Red Crescent Society (PRCS) warned this week that food supplies have now “completely run out” in both local markets and humanitarian distribution centers in Gaza.

“The population is once again at extreme risk of famine,” the PRCS said. “There is an inability to meet even the minimum daily needs of over a million displaced people.”

The International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) also reiterated the need for the immediate entry of humanitarian aid and warned Israel against “politicization” of the aid.

Indirect talks—brokered by Qatar and Egypt— have continued since Israel broke the ceasefire, but yielded no results.

Qatar, a key mediator in Gaza truce talks, said Tuesday that it was still pursuing efforts for a Gaza ceasefire even though Hamas said it wasn’t interested in further talks.

“Our efforts remain ongoing despite the difficulty of the situation and the continuing catastrophic humanitarian situation in the Gaza Strip,” said foreign ministry spokesman Majed al-Ansari.

He said talks were focused on getting aid into Gaza and “the necessity to stop weaponizing aid, which Israel has been doing... since the first day of this war.”

PressTV

[l-mialamia-l]

Most sports books are like “I need to win championships so I can prove myself!!!” and then there’s The Foxhole Court where the main character is like “yeah so if I don’t win championships I will literally be executed because when I was 10 my serial killer father tried to sell me to a cult so my assassin mother stole $5 million from the yakuza and ran away with me, but it turned out that my dad was friends with the leader of the mafia, so now we also had a bunch of hit men after us, and almost a decade later my dad caught up with us and killed my mom and I faked my death, so I decided to join a college sports team to start my new life, but then I found out one of my teammates is a runaway from the cult my dad tried to sell me to, and not only that but the cult’s leader is the brother of the head of the Japanese mafia, so now both of them are after me too, and also the FBI keeps trying to convince me to testify against my father, but if I do I’ll have to go into witness protection because my dad’s friends will try to kill me and I can’t be a professional athlete while under witness protection, but luckily my uncle (who is the leader of the British mob) brokered a deal that will assure my safety if I win championships as long as I hand over 80% of my salary to the mafia for the rest of my life.” And that’s only the main character, I haven’t even mentioned how insane some of the side characters’ backstories are!

Basically this is the most unhinged book I have ever read and I love it so much

[vonbabbitt]

ok since people asked about the evil au. also please keep in mind this is a very 2000s/2010score au. its edgy and campy for fun

Isono Miki: Ultimate GFE Streamer

leans HARDCORE into GFE. constantly trying to manipulate money out of lonely people to fund a super bougie and comfortable lifestyle. snakesnake basically

Harada Keizou: Ultimate Butcher

butcher for the sole reason that he truly does enjoy chopping up and segmenting animals

just way over the top campy "haha i love killing and blood soooo much!!" 2010s deviantart creepypasta style

Chiba Airi: Ultimate Scammer

does exclusively ads for scummy faulty products and subscriptions and supplements so she can make mad bank

when we were discussing this in call we just kept saying "buy supplements" over and over and over again so thats the vibe

Kamimura Kazutoshi: Ultimate Cleanup Crew

its the same job but now he does it on the opposite side of the law

works directly in tandem with hasegawa, cleans up evidence and gets rid of bodies etc

personality wise....hes mostly the same LMAO

Hayashi Mai: Ultimate Hitman

doesnt ask questions. gets the job done

just in it for the thrill of the hunt. personality mostly the same but gets a bit feral edgy style when shes getting closer and closer to catching her target

Wada Masanari: Ultimate Con Artist

works with chiba and handles her phone lines

impersonates people's voices to give them the run-around when theyre trying to do something like cancel a subscription ("i wanna speak to the manager" "hi yes this is the manager now.")

buy supplements

Sasaki Hitomi: Ultimate Dictator

hey man gotta do something with those leadership skills

absolutely ruthless war criminal. this one is probably the most evil i think

Ojima Takeshi: Ultimate AI Artist

"nakamigawa i actually really like this design but i honestly think you could buff it up a lot with midjourney"

calls himself a "prompt engineer"

"wow cool drawing! i ran it through chatgpt to improve it a bit"

just a hardcore AI bro. thinks AI art is the absolute effing best and definitely real art

Okazaki Hanano: Ultimate Superhero

okay so shes not evil anymore

we thought it would be funny if in this evil AU shes just good now

still the rival of tsuno manami though

Hama Ran: Ultimate Occult Evangelist

just a straight up cultist

considers himself an "angel hunter", hunts down alleged "angels" and kills them in the name of his cult

tries to rope other people into his cult evangelism style

Tsuno Manami: Ultimate Supervillain

yeah pretty much what it says on the tin here

shes evil now

except shes actually good at it unlike okazaki

wants to take over the world or perhaps just blow it up maybe

Hiroaki Nakamigawa: Ultimate Model Coach

coaches young fashion models extremely harshly and pushes his fashion VERY hard

basically just yells at and insults these teenagers until they get eating disorders or quit forever

BRUTALLY mean

Tamba Ruiko: Ultimate Detective

except she absolutely fucking sucks at it

her detective-ing is an active detriment to everyone and actively sabotages crime scenes

she has no idea she sucks

Hasegawa Ken: Ultimate Information Broker

one smug motherfucker

works directly with kamimura in their little two man mafia

collects peoples information and uses it to blackmail them out of a massive amount of money and resources

Watari Nishino: Ultimate Demolitionist

we thought arson was way too basic

so now she blows stuff up with huge bombs

just for fun i guess. and can fun ever really be evil? certainly no way

Yanagi Shigeki: Ultimate Pick-up Artist

teaches those sigma male courses on how to pick up women

massive chauvinist

treats women like cattle and acts with the full intention of picking up as many of them as possible

[ladybyakuya]

| ALL I WANTED + GOJO SATORU .

+cw. — female!wife!reader x clan-head!husband!(sub)!gojo satoru, arrange marriage, hurt, angst, canon typical elements, smut, f!masturbation + m!masturbation & orgasm interruption.

+wc. — 2.3k

+syn.— satoru comes home from a bunch of missions only to find his wife in their shared bedroom not wanting him, or waiting for him but busy seeking pleasure that was his share to pour into you.

+notes. — special thanks to @gojoest for hyping me up with this idea. & thanks to @sugurouge for beta reading otherwise this never get posted lol | redirect to blog navigation.

The current head of the clan you belong to, your father stands facing his back to you. He is now the housemaster, not your father. “You’re going to be married,” said he, as his palms remained tightly clasped at his back while he looked out through the window. What you once called home became a distant memory in an instant. “You’re going to be married—” as his face turned towards you, “to Gojo Satoru.” you could figure out why he was looking away. “That monster!” he screams tears streaming down his face as his lips tremble in rage and disbelief; how of all people did the marriage broker who has been his friend for a long time have even agreed with such a decision? The thought of him suggesting the idea to the council does not even cross your father’s mind. How utterly naive! a low grunt followed as your father swatted away his chair knocking it down to the ground before killing every bit of hope you had despite the rumors. “This marriage. . . it is nothing but a hopeless dream. ”

Yes! You knew that already. The housemaids and staff just love to gossip about the doom of their sole source of bread and butter. The moment your father summoned you into his study room and told you the news while staring at the greenery of the garden of this mansion you knew your life was going to turn upside down and it did, just like you expected yet you were still disappointed, frustrated even when you came back to your room. 

Satoru Gojo is the strongest jujutsu sorcerer in history ever known since Sukuna Ryomen was sealed. No other name has ever made it to the pages of jujutsu history. He is at the top of the jujutsu society regarding status, power, fame, and money. So, what do you do with the strongest of all? worship them out of devotion? subdue them with offerings lest it might lash out? swearing loyalty out of fear? Those were the thoughts that stemmed at the back of your mind when you first came to know about the fact that you were going to be the wife of the Gojo Satoru from a maid whose life never even crossed the threshold of your home. Her world was limited to the mossy parts of the mansion you resided in. Still, she could tell what kind of marriage you would be walking into.

Nothing shocking happened even on the night of your wedding. It was just as you anticipated. Two different futons were kept side by side. There was no sharing of words, glances, or kakebuton . Just both of your backs faced each other. At dawn, you woke up with your wedding kimono intact, a stainless white futon, and an empty room without Gojo. 

The maids here knew better than to talk about it, even behind your back. They were aware of the power and status you held and that made everything a lot worse than you expected it to be. You had access to a lot of things, the family history archives, the financial sources, his previous missions— everything tied to him. Your husband, Gojo Satoru, was the clan head as well as the master of this mansion so there were no elderly people pushing responsibilities onto your shoulders like back at home. There was a sense of serenity in the air but how could you breathe it in for the rest of your life? 

Satoru Gojo was the kind of man whom one could easily desire. Despite being his wife and the future mother of his children, trying to love him felt like a cyanide for you. You wanted your husband, not some Satoru Gojo oozing with knowledge and power. You wanted to look him in the eye, not just his back which you barely get a glimpse of at the crack of dawn as he occupies the sad side of the bed under a separate duvet. In earlier stages of this marriage, there was no curtain separating you and your husband’s side of the bed but after a month of utter silence and stealing glances, the first thing he installed was a curtain in the shared canopy bed. If he needed some privacy he could easily ask you to shift into another room but he bothered to talk one of those clan servants to install a fucking curtain as if the silence was not enough of a gulf in between you two. 

Sometimes you thought that he was cheating on you but you always pushed it under the rug telling yourself, “You’re the wife of Satoru Gojo. No one can take that from you unless you walk out of this marriage. Not your father. Not that marriage broker —”

— Not even Gojo Satoru himself because he only married you to silence those nosy elders of his clan who pretend to be oh-so-worried for him. You were not foreign to that concept, after all, you are wrapped in the same shroud for all your life.

“You’re the wife of Gojo Satoru . . .No one . . .” 

“You’re the wife of Gojo Satoru . . .” 

“You’re the wife . . .”

“You’re . . .”

But the thought of getting his dick sucked by some other woman or man, or him putting his dick into someone — it filled you with too much anger to sleep in bed that night. For the first time, you miss home because there you are free to go anywhere even at night. 

Satoru came home early that night, which was odd for his schedule, and was greeted with an empty bed after a long while. The sky is yet to be cracked open by sunlight. It is still too dark to be wandering around. Where could his wife have been gone to at this hour? He takes a spoonful of strawberry ice cream from the giant tub he held in his other hand before starting to look for you. But where should he look first? He does not know anything except the fact that he had put veils in different places of his house just to keep this house free of low-energy cursed spirits. Those veils sure did their job well but sometimes they would keep out non-sorcerers, people like you. His heart rejoices at the thought that he has to look for you in places only he is aware of, which means this is going to take a little less time, and he will find you much faster. Come to think of it, he has not been in the library section for a while but it is still as spotless as the first day he came here. Have you been visiting? Man! That sure worries him.

The pink layer of the tub has come down to half along with its skin being wet while the spoon is still experiencing the fierce appetite that Satoru had for anything sweet. He stands at the entrance of a long hallway before checking, thinking that this is the last place he has to look for but could it be possible that you were embarrassed enough to go back to your home?

Ahh���ahhh!

The spoon hits the wooden floor with a dull clatter as a wretched realization comes crashing down through his veins. Have you been cheating on him all this time? In his house? With some lowly servant ? Well, that sure makes it easier to end this sham of a marriage. He opens the door of a certain archive room as swiftly as possible trying to minimize the sound of his presence, making sure he does not shock you awake from your rendezvous. He is determined to catch you red-handed but when he opens the door he witnesses something that could have knocked the lights off his brain if he were not one of the greatest sorcerers of his time. The sight was not something of a fair appetite for ordinary people yet you sat by the marble slab of the giant window, with one of your arms nuked under your sapphire jinbei in between your legs as your skin glowed under that pale moonlight as if diamonds and pearls were embedded on your skin. 

You were sweating, arching your body, moaning and all your husband could do was watch in awe. Your free hand travels from the bottom of your cleavage and up to the apex of your nape as you turn your head opening your eyes for a brief moment. You see the world so blurred that it spikes your approaching high, but as you open your eyes for the second time your high is gone like it never existed. Your husband, Gojo Satoru stood before you like an ivory statue of certain abandoned ruined cathedrals. The dress covers most of your body so a wave of relief washes over him despite realizing how dangerous the spot you chose . . .to . . .umh. . . pleasure yourself . 

How long? How long was he watching you ? You shift your body to face him, and your hand slowly emerges from the warmth between your thighs. Satoru tries to ignore but traces of your arousal and his yearning are flourishing like fluorescence on your fingers as it rests on your thigh. You watch him gulp. Suddenly, Gojo Satoru is out of words. Teacher to his students of Jujutsu High, the strongest sorcerer, Nanami’s certified yapper is suddenly out of words. The slight slice of your boobs visible through your robe does not help either in the coherency of his thoughts. He had plans. He had plans to walk out of this marriage without being tainted as a “cheater” because the jujutsu society is so fucked up that they will not stop until they found this particular person that had made this marriage impossible to work on so that you, the wife, had to walk out it and dear God, they certainly are not fond of obstructions.

“What a nice place you chose to—” he finally looks away to keep the tub of semi-molten room-temperature strawberry ice cream on some bookshelf but before he could shift back his gaze on you again you were gone like a storm. The sound of your footsteps echoed in his ear till it stopped before he heard the click of a door. He does not understand if you are just too dumb or too brave to act the way you are acting right now. He follows you as a grunt of dismissal escapes from his chest. As he stands in front of the bathroom door he drowns yet again in utmost disbelief. He can still hear your shrill gasp of pleasure and he is not liking how his cock is responsive to it. At first, he hesitates to touch himself but the faint sound of your moans, the wet squelching sounds of your fingers moving in and out of your damp folds despite the door of the bathroom being locked buzzes in his ears like bees out in the hunt of honey. 

Satoru gave up . You hear a thud as you continue to finger yourself knowing full well that your husband must have followed you all the way here after witnessing you in such a state. Indeed, you could have been accused of cheating on him without him checking the door and it would have been much worse. He sits against the bathroom door unfurling the black ribbon with a swish to take his cock out of his baggy white pants. The tip is already leaking. His cock is throbbing in his palm as he encapsulates his fingers around it, moving his fingers up and down slowly. On the other side of the door, as you could finally feel the pinnacle of your high you heard a soft groan; a pain, that seemed familiar, was palpable underneath that shrill cry of pleasure. Still when your fingers touched the part inside you that almost felt like unknotting something from inside you, at the basal of your navel Satoru’s hand moved faster to chase the similar high that had started to bubble in his body under the influence of your ripples of pleasure. You heard your husband moan as tears rolled down your cheeks when you closed your eyes feeling the knot finally unwinding.

Perhaps, both of you came simultaneously. Perhaps not, because you immediately opened the door after you had calmed from your high, only to be greeted with Satoru sitting right at the opposite wall of the bathroom door, legs folded in L-manner so that he could keep his hand over his knee. His cock is still visible through his white pants and it is still so hard. One of your eyebrows raises in silent reply . Satoru notices that. He looks at you and then looks away. You extend your hand towards his face, gaining his stern azure pair of eyes shining against whatever dim light the crack of the bathroom door could allow. There was no sign of resistance in him so as your palm touched his cheeks, you waited and gave him time to protest. yet none ever followed,  instead, he surrendered to your touch, and your fingers curled under his chin as you ran your thumb over his lips. Satoru coiled against your touch imbibing as much as he could like a tide being high enough to touch the moon . . .a familiar voice shocked both of you awake.

“Lady Gojo. . .” 

[namelessgakusei]

EP. 4.2 Faith and Inhibition

Devil May Cry x Reader Insert

Warnings: It's DMC. Based on the New Netflix Series. Spoiler warnings for the actual how. Not proofread. Slightly canon divergent.

EP. 4.1 Belief and Perception (prev.)

EXTRA EP. 4.3 Rabbiting (cont.)

Synopsis: The demons decided to torture Dante one last time before they blow up the plane. Someone "dies" before you all fall to your death and you gain something out of it.

No. Impossible. You're all going to die.

Despite Enzo's confidence that Dante will save you all, no, you're going to die. The plane will explode and everyone will either perish from the blast or fall to their deaths. Yep, this is it, this is how it ends. Surrounded by hostages in a hijacked plane, you'll die at the ripe age of 18. On the bright side, at least you won't die alone???

So much for having faith that it will all work out in the end.

"Wow, my good buddy and protégé, the son of Sparda." Enzo chuckles to himself, leaning closer and squishing you between the two men, looking expectantly at Dante while the other hostages whimpered in fear for their imminent deaths. Dante gapes at the older man, sighing loudly in response. "Come on, even if my dad might have been demon, Sparda isn't real."

"He's their version of the boogeyman."

"Your necklace is real." Your muffled voice cuts in, making Dante turn to your with a frown. "Not helping." He retorts.

The blue demon steps forward, agreeing that his father is indeed the demon knight. "Take it from us who've been living with the fallout of his betrayal for the last two millennia." Dante scoffs at the mention of the amount of years it has been, insisting that it couldn't be possible after all. You sighed, he's being in denial again, gaslighting himself just like what the White Rabbit said.

"You really think my dad is a demon from 2000 years ago?"

"Dante."

"How old do I look?"

"Dante."

You meet his eyes, it's shaking. He knows what he's doing, yet he still doesn't want to accept things as they are.

Dante’s scared.

Who wouldn't if you found out that the blood of the monsters who killed your family runs inside you?

You don't know what to say. You're not prepared. You're scared too! But Dante is... He's the one that's going through something worse in the room right now. You're thankful for your chatterbox of an adoptive father for filling the silence, making you lean to Dante as Enzo scoots closer, tattling on about how he had an inkling that the boy was part demon. "I just couldn't figure how, but you being Sparda's son explains everything."

"He's the good demon."

Dante's expression relaxed at that.

Enzo continues, proud even, as he convinces Dante that he's good regardless of his heritage. "That's what's in your blood. You get it?" Well, what do you know. Enzo's pretty good at lifting people up. If he was more shrewd, you'll understand how he's still a broker after all these years. Dante smirks at his words, fear creeping off of him.

"Let's see if he's right." The warm atmosphere went as it came due to Agni walking towards Dante, scraping his sword at the floor, releasing a grating sound as the demon grins. He stops a bit short from the half-demon, pointing his sword at the hostages before it turns to Dante. "You heard Rabbit. Either you stop us, or we blow them out of the sky."

Perhaps invigorated by Enzo's words, Dante returned to his usual cocky persona, smirking at the two demons with an insult. "What are you gonna do? Form half a Captain Planet?" He'll just keep bringing trouble, won't he? You shook your head, slightly amused at his brazenness. Rudra wasn't on the same page, however, as he leaned closer to where you sat. "I wouldn't be so cocky, mate."

"After all, you failed at saving your own mom and brother."

"And you led your own family to their deaths."

Both of you froze as flashbacks of those memories came back. Dante remembers the closet, the fire, Eva's body and Vergil's screams; while you remembered the bloody house you went home to.

"Oh yeah. Rabbit knows all about what happened to them too."

"How you two just stood as they died."

Dante shuts his eyes, willing himself to get past the sickening feeling in his stomach. The memory of his mother's corpse and the smell of something burning is still fresh in his mind. You weren't any better, nearly hyperventilating at the memory of your brother, barely breathing, as he spoke his last words to you. It's your fault that it happened. It's all your fault, you weren't thinking, and now you're forced to remember that event once again—

"We were helpless kids when those demons attacked us."

You flinched at Dante's voice, only able to look up at him as he stood up to face the two demons, eyes watering from the emotional pressure. How can he still stand strong like that? Your fates are uncertain at the moment, but he remains steadfast, confident that everything will work out.

Have faith that everything will work out.

Damn it.

"We're not one anymore." He grunts as he rips off his restraints despite how it was draining his energy. So you could brute force it? The hell?? You squirmed in yours and felt it draining your will already, but looking at how it broke off from Dante's weakened strength, you may have a chance if you time it right.

"Well, let's see if we could make you a little nostalgic." Rudra smirks, and so, the fight begins.

Fists flew in the air as the two demons ganged up on Dante, with him barely managing to go toe on toe due to his strength still being weak, courtesy of the appendage-like restraints from earlier. With your wardens distracted, you got to work, the restraints get a little loose if you stretch it as big as you can, but still not giving you a way out. That little leeway is enough for you. You might not have the strength to break this off, you're confident in your own flexibility.

You only need a little space to get your arms out of your coat.

Agni conjures a fireball and blasts it towards Dante, who froze upon seeing the fire due to its association for that night, making his reaction time a bit late as he dodged the attack. "Poor little half-breed. Gets hit with one measly fireball and turns into a whimpering baby." Dante's breathing started to get heavy as he tried to compose himself, rushing towards Rudra to deliver a punch, only to get slammed to the wall by the demon's ability. The impact damaged the plane so much that alarms started going off, with the pilot struggling to keep the aircraft flying properly.

"Seems like that strength Sparda gave you won't be much use up here." Agni mocks the hyperventilating Dante, who is getting haunted by the memories of his mother's death at the moment. "As useless as the man himself." Rudra grabbed Dante by his coat and threw him on the ground before levitating him off of it, restricting his airflow at the same time.

"The way we heard it, he didn't even bother showing up to protect you—"

The fireball from the red demon quickly disappeared as Agni chokes, his neck ensnared with your restraints as you clung to his back, his own energy quickly seeping out the more he struggled out of it. You were quickly pried off the red demon by his brother, and was slammed towards Dante with such force that it nearly knocked you out, with the other not being any better as he coughed out blood.

Everything was ringing, your body hurts like hell, you don't even have the energy to move— Someone's approaching... Agni's about to land a strike...! Your vision cleared almost immediately as you screamed. "Jump!"

The demon's fist landed on the luggage that you two landed on, scattering the litter of items across the plane, with Dante going to the left and behind Agni as you jumped up to avoid the attack, using the demon’s head as a leverage to perform a somersault to get around him. What you didn’t account for is that Rudra’s waiting behind his brother, grabbing hold of your torso, trapping your right arm with it, and slamming you to the wall before you could land on your feet. Dante screams your name before Agni punches him. “I’m disappointed in you, mate.”

“And here I thought you’ll understand us the most, given how you helped us out before.” Rudra’s words brought back the memories from the warehouse, the faces of the demons locked up and used as shooting targets for DARKCOM soldiers, and the cages you unlocked. His smirk made your head throb, adding to the psychological stress, as tears started to threaten to fall from your eyes. ”Look on the bright side.” Agni taunts Dante as the young man fights off the two demons, desperately kicking and punching Rudra to free you while avoiding Agni’s Agnited punches. "After watching your families die,"

"Watching these people die should be easy for you." Your body slowly starts to get crushed from the demon’s grip, restricting your airflow as black spots appear in your vision; meanwhile, Dante’s fighting off with his own trauma as Agni purposely sets himself on fire when the former catches his fists. "Aw. The one time you're fighting for something other than yourself, and this is how you do it?" The demon mocks him before delivering a clean headbutt that sends the agitated Dante to the other side of the plane, reducing him to his knees, as Agni procures Rebellion from behind. "Rabbit was right about you."

You’re going to die. You’re going to die…! I don’t want to die! A turbulence slightly shook the plane, and a metal clanged near your foot. Even in your blurry vision, an idea crossed over your mind. You don’t know what will happen, this is just a reckless action, born from desperation.

The sword glints, reflecting the hyperventilating Dante, before he gets slashed by his own sword at the chest. “Dante…!” You wheezed as he collapsed, with Agni cackling at his expense. "You're just like your dad." 

You stomped at a fire extinguisher, one that had already lost its pin from the chaos from earlier, making it spin violently across the plane while discharging smoke everywhere, rendering visibility to little to none. You hoped that this would at least help Dante as your eyes started to roll back, with a cry being the last thing you hear as you slip to unconsciousness.

…

He can hear your heartbeat.

Dante lies on the ground, with blood spurting out of his chest wound, one that is already healing due to his abilities. Agni laughs over his body, but he cannot hear the demon. The hostages are crying, but he can’t hear them either. His head is ringing. He can’t breathe. It’s only you that he can sense right now.

You’re dying.

Dante could only watch as your life is being squeezed out of your body.  

Will he be forced to see a loved one die again? Will he be just like before, a helpless boy? He promised to protect you, yet he couldn’t even face some demons who reminded him of his past.

Rudra is mocking you as he crushes you to your death. Those demons are trying to take everything from him again! He heard your bones cracking, the sharp inhale and the way you wheezed for air. At this rate, you won’t last! No! Not you. Please, not you…! He wasn’t able to do anything back then, but right now it’s different! He’s stronger now! He can protect those that matter to him! 

Yet he can’t do anything.

Was it true, after all? That he’s a hellblood? That he’s the son of Sparda? That he’s just like his dad?

“Your dad was a brave warrior.”

Eva’s voice echoes in his head. The memory of his mother that night flashes in his eyes as it starts to water from helplessness.

“The bravest who ever lived.”

He remembers her smile, how gentle it is, as she describes his father, her husband, with such affection. He wanted to meet him. To know the man that his mother speaks so highly of, to be reunited with the father he never knew.

“He fought against all the bad things so we could be free.”

Something snapped within him.

White smoke filled the room as a fire extinguisher hit Agni on the head, exploding upon contact with his flames just as he was about to deliver the finishing blow on Dante. A flash of red lunged at him, snatching Rebellion and sending the demon flying towards his brother in a split second. Before you could fall to the floor, an arm catches you, relatively human compared to the other that your savior has.

You woke up with a cough, heaving for breath while groaning in pain. Everything hurts, except for your left arm. But at least you can breathe now—

"Dante?" You croaked, looking up at the young man who now has a part of his face painted in red, with golden cracks crawling across it. His irises are sharp while his sclera looks far worse than just being bloodshot. His other arm holds Rebellion, but unlike what a human limb should look like, Dante's right arm transformed into something else. It's bigger, larger, with skin that looks tougher than an animal's and nails sharp enough to cut through anything.

The hostages panicked at the development, fear creeping in due to the uncertainty of the situation. Enzo on the other hand, looked at Dante in awe. The vice president mirrors his expression, but with the glint of something else as he marvels at Dante's current transformation. "Truly... remarkable...!"

Despite his appearance, with red electricity crackling around the two of you, the way he looked at you is of obvious worry and concern.

"I got you." He smiles, and he doesn't know if the relief is because he got to you in time or if you're still alive. Both, he thinks, as he repeats his words, exhaling as he closes his eyes. He got to you in time...

"He's ready. Blow the charges." Rudra stood up from the ground, reaching for the switch that was entrusted to him, only for his brother to cut in. "Yeah..." Agni raises a hand, eyes focused on the two of you, before glowering. "Just give me a second to kill him first." With a snap of his fingers, he gets enveloped with fire that soon morphes into a scimitar. "We could say he died in the blast." The red demon smirks before lunging towards you.

"Can you stand?" Dante whispers before supporting you up. The second you winced however, he hoisted you up his arms and proceeded to dodge every swing of Agni's weapon with you in tow.

The moment the red demon missed was when he retaliated, throwing you up in the air as he slashes Agni's arm off, with it flying upwards. "Getting killed with your own sword?" You grinned at Dante's words and grabbed the hilt of the scimitar, twisting your body for momentum due to how heavy it is and grotesquely beheading Agni using the serrated side of his weapon. "That'll be pretty embarrassing."

You fall back to the ground, heaving from the weight of his sword, confused that Agni's body just stood there as his head rolls off. Dante's body starts to go back to normal as the sparks went down and everyone went quiet from what just happened, before the red demon laughed from the floor, dispersing in a bright red light alongside his body and getting absorbed by his weapon. The scimitar became relatively lighter in your hands, where you could easily wield it on your own. "What—"

"I've been waiting a long time for this!" Agni's voice echoed from the scimitar, dripping with pride and confidence as he guffaws. Rudra doesn't seem to share his sentiment, however.

The blue demon looked distraught at the current situation. "Brother!" He cries, frantically looking for the detonator he had, only to find nothing and remembering the way you snuck behind the two of them to immobilize Agni. "Looking for this?" You grinned like a maniac after revealing the now-damaged detonator, courtesy of how the demon nearly crushed you to death.

"You're not worthy of him..." Rudra calms down and readies his own sword, one that matches the one in your hands, glaring at you as wind picks up in the plane. "Give me back my brother!"

Your eyes widened. While there might not be bombs, there are other ways to take the plane down. Dante moved faster than you, rushing towards Rudra to stop his attack.

But it was too late.

Everyone screamed after it happened.

The air sliced the plane in pieces, sending everyone on board to fall to the city below.

taglist!: @mischiefmanaged71 @tamashithe2nd @im-just-a-simp-le-whore @96jnie @flwerie @deathrye @that-dumb-bitch @sleepykittycx @sidewalkenforcer @devil-might-sob @sophrickingfunny

[evillesbianvillain]

'“I didn’t want to be a cog in that machine any more. For some time now, I have been both disgusted and horrified by the way higher education has developed into a cash register – essentially a money-making, MBA, lawyer-run, hedge fund-cum-real estate operation, with a minor sideline in education, where money has determined everything, where respect for pedagogy is at a minimum,” Khalidi says. “Research that brings in money, they respect. But they don’t care about teaching, even though it is the students with their tuition who provide a huge proportion of private universities’ budgets.”

[...]

Khalidi resists questions that demand a crystal ball. He is a historian who prefers to focus on analyzing what past actions tell us. His next book will focus on Ireland, and how it was a laboratory for Palestine. It stems from a fellowship he had recently at Trinity College, Dublin. He says that to understand Palestine, you have to understand British colonialism more broadly. He is hoping to examine key figures in the British aristocracy whose Irish experience was central to everything they did afterwards – people such as Arthur James Balfour, Sir Charles Tegart and Gen Sir Frank Kitson. He is hoping to show how the Irish experience was exported to India, Egypt and Palestine, and then returned to Ireland again during the Troubles, having been magnified in the colonies. “It is astonishing how personnel and counter-insurgency techniques, like torture, assassination, find their roots with the British in Ireland,” Khalidi says.

His personal family history, his scholarship and the front row seat he had as part of the Palestinian advisory group during talks in Madrid in the early 1990s show him that until the US shifts its total, uncritical support for Israel, the Palestinians will not get anything close to sovereignty. “It’s never statehood, it’s never self-determination,” he says. “It is an extension into the future of the status quo with epaulets.”

When he looks back at the 1990s, he is reminded of what the Palestinians were up against, and why they didn’t stand a chance. And why the peace efforts of the time were destined for failure. Not only did Israel have its own lawyers, combing over every detail, it had the backing of the US too. Khalidi understands that it was a fundamental error on the part of Yasser Arafat and his team to think that the US could be an honest broker.

“That is what drives me: Israel cannot do any of this – killing this number of Palestinians [more than 40,000 at the time of writing] without the US and western European countries. The US gives Israel the green light. It is a party to the war on Palestine. That is what drives me as an American. I am not just at this because I am a Palestinian. It is because I am an American. Because we are responsible.”'

[whirlybirbs]

— BURNER CELL ; 2 ; DABI ; 荼毗

summary: after a week of silence, you finally text dabi. pairing: dabi / f!reader ; quirkless word count: 1.3k tag: humor, maladjusted dabi meets normal adult woman, flirting, canon-based world building, cancer mention, texting as a plot device, slight au, univeristy student!reader a/n: this stole all my concentration. siri play emo boy by ayesha erotica ← previous | the tag | next →

It's the kind of week where, aside from class, human interaction isn't really on life's setlist. 

It's also the kind of week where you rediscover making a meal of raw cookie dough straight from the package. Your econ textbook might have a stranglehold on you, but you make enough time to scarf down a few globs between chapters — after all, who needs protein or fiber when you're sure this five-year master's program will kill you first?

Your head hurts.

You slump against the counter, refilling your water bottle. 

It's late now — and you can feel the quiet woes beginning to wane as you blink at the clock. By now, your friends are probably on their second or third drinks. You turned the invite down when they asked yesterday. Nuri tugged on your sweater sleeve and pouted the best pout she could manage, but you didn't budge. 

I've gotta finish this paper, I'm sorry, Nur'. 

You roll your jaw as you shut the faucet off, wandering to your freezer to wrangle some cubes from the tray. You bend it slowly, deep in thought. A few pop out, and you idly drop them into your water bottle with a twang. 

You're staring at your phone. It's by your computer on the counter. 

...You never did text Dabi. 

You told yourself it was for the best — after all, you weren't looking for a catastrophic derailment of your life at the moment. Things are good. You're two semesters away from finishing University, your family's bakery back in Kyoto is doing well, and Dad's chemotherapy seems to be working. Things are good! It's almost fall, you've managed to stick to your monthly budget, and Mizu settled in happily to your new apartment. 

No four-day poop strike like the last time you moved.

The large tuxedo cat in question ambles through the kitchen — brushing against your leg and letting out a long, low mrrooow. 

Things are great! 

You shouldn't text Dabi.

But... even if you did, it's not like it'd be the end of the world, right?

Wait, could he figure out where you lived from your number...?

You could use one of those anonymous texting services. Then, it wouldn't even be your number. Just some fake string of digits that allow you to satiate the bizarre curiosity that's been swirling in your head for the last week. 

You're sure the novelty will wear off. 

He's probably not even going to respond. 

You're telling yourself this is stupid as you begin to set up an account with the service — the app boasts privacy, andunlimited calls and texts... You can't help but feel a little strange as you finalize your account. 

It's done.

You import his contact with two taps and stare at the blank screen. 

...Now what?

Are you really going to do this? I mean — he's a wanted criminal. He's a member of the League of Villains. If anyone ever found out you were in contact with him, you'd be toast. You'd have All Might kicking your door in and demanding to look through your phone and that mental image is enough to make you cringe. Say goodbye to your degree, goodbye toyour future as Sakura Flour's owner, and goodbye to freedom. You're sure the Safety Commission would place you on some watch list for the rest of your life, and frankly, your tweets are already questionable. You don't need more scrutiny. 

...So, there are two options. 

Delete his number and move on... or don't get caught. 

You shouldn't text Dabi.

...But, you do.

Truth be told, he isn't shocked to see that cute Nuri girl hanging on Giran's arm again. The Broker seems pretty into her — the guy even mentioned something about taking her to a nice dinner during the week as a congrats on passing some big test. Dabi can't blame him. She's cute. Looks good in red. Not his type, but he can appreciate it from time to time.

However, Dabi is a little shocked that you're not a part of the group cheering in Giran's VIP section. There's bottle service being ordered, laughter, dancing, and a gaggle of pretty, five college girls — and none of them are you. 

His lips twist into a scowl. 

He decides he's leaving; his piss-poor drink is tossed back, and he dumps a bill down for the bartender before tugging his hood up and sucking his teeth. 

He never liked this club anyway.

He's crossing the threshold of the back door, stepping into the damp and dark alley, when the phone in his back pocket buzzes. Someone's smoking a Marlboro by the dumpster. The familiar smell makes Dabi's fingers twitch. 

He's tryna quit.

He tugs the phone from his pocket, no longer bothered by the splintered glass screen. His battery is at 13%. This fuckin' thing barely holds a charge anymore. 

The number on the screen isn't one he knows.

Dabi's passcode is unnecessarily long. His phone clicks open as he narrows his eyes and shambles towards the opening in the alley. He doesn't know this number. He has everyone's cell memorized that he needs. Shigaraki, Toga, Spinner, Jin, Compress, even Giran. He doesn't keep contacts. Doesn't work when he's ditching phones all the time. He's got his noggin. That's good enough.

The text is one word:

hi.

Dabi's squinting at the text when another buzzes through. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:48pm sorry, this is bar girl

→ dabi ; 11:46pm thought u were never gonna txt me ur girlie nuri is here where r u

There's no way.

Your phone buzzes three times from its far place where it sits face down on the counter — you just walked away from it, hellbent on distracting yourself while you waited out the potential reply. You go rigid in your kitchen. 

Did he seriously text you back immediately?

You purse your lips, then slink towards the phone. It buzzes again.

→ dabi ; 11:47pm c'mon don't leave me hangin pretty

Your eyes are wide as you stare at the string of replies. He has read receipts turned on like the psychopath he is. 

You lean back against the counter, chewing your cuticle as you let out a ragged sigh. Nuri is with him? Or... No, they said they were going to that club you hate. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:4pam oh, are they at the bar?‎

Dabi's fingers move fast.

→ dabi ; 11:49pm nah in downtown club tropical or whatever the fuck it's called

You snort a little.

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:49pm i hate that place. their drinks suck.

Dabi has started making his way back to their hideout — back to the shit box apartments they're renting above Kurogiri's bar. He's slow, idly texting as he weaves through the crowds of nightlife in Kamino Ward. 

→ dabi ; 11:50pm a girl after my own heart where r u ur dodging my question u on a date or smthng????

He's insistent, you'll give him that. You cross your legs as you lean back against the laminate counter and chew the inside of your lip.

He's typing. It starts, then stops, then starts again. 

When you start typing, the bubble disappears. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:50pm nah, got a huge paper to finish uni student, remember? sorry to disappoint 

→ dabi ; 11:51pm ur missin out giran got bottle service  him and nuri looked cozy

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:51pm not shocked she thinks she can fix him

→ dabi ; 11:51pm ooooo love when that happens poor girl

Typing... 

Typing...

→ dabi ; 11:51pm u think u can fix me? :p

The emoji makes your face break into a smile — it's so... not what you expected. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:52pm nah i'm not stupid

→ dabi ; 11:52pm just busy....really lame of u tbh coulda been fun

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:52pm wasting cash on mid drinks is the opposite of fun

→ dabi ; 11:52pm i meant seeing me

Oh, what the fuck.

Why does that text make your face feel hot? Why does that text make you feel like you're not texting the League of Villain's #1 Arsonist, but some cute boy from class? He's not a cute boy from class. He's a danger to society. 

You're glad you don't have the opportunity to reply. Your phone is buzzing in your hands, the haptic feedback lighting the neurons in your brain on fire.  

→ dabi ; 11:53pm gtg phone is gonna die have fun with ur paper u loser hope u get a good grade or whatever i'll txt u later

You shouldn't have texted Dabi.

But you did. 

[padmesweetheart]

My Little Menace

Pairing: Hayden Christensen x Younger!Wife!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, Humor, Protective Husband Mode

I enjoy feedback so here

It was supposed to be a quiet morning.

The sun was shining. Birds were chirping. Hayden was in full “wholesome husband” mode. he’d just finished feeding the animals, whistling happily on his way back inside the house, ready to start breakfast for you.

And then he found you.

Standing barefoot in the driveway.

Wearing one of his old T-shirts that nearly swallowed you whole, messy bed hair still everywhere, casually puffing a cigarette between two fingers while clutching a 12 oz Red Bull like your life depended on it.

You didn’t even see him at first. You were too busy, letting out a deep sigh like a stressed Wall Street broker in a 90’s movie, taking another drag, then another desperate sip of your beloved energy drink.

Hayden froze in the doorway, blinking. Once. Twice. Just staring.

The cigarette.

The Red Bull.

The utter dead-eyed exhaustion on your face.

He had to physically put a hand on the doorframe to steady himself.

“Baby,” he finally said, voice a little hoarse. “What… what am I looking at right now?”

You turned like a raccoon caught in the trash. “I’m fine!”

He slowly approached, like you were a wild animal that might bolt at any sudden movement. “Are you smoking?” he asked, even though he could see it right there, between your fingers.

You gave a sheepish little shrug. “It’s just a stress smoke.”

He stared harder. “And a Red Bull?”

Another shrug. “Just a little pick-me-up.”

Hayden looked at the can. The giant 12oz can. Then back at the cigarette.

Then back at your sleepy, guilty face.

“Baby…” He dragged a hand down his face in pure disbelief. “You’re out here committing war crimes against your own body.”

You blew a little smoke toward the sky and grinned. “It’s fine! It’s just a—”

“No,” he cut you off, reaching forward and plucking the cigarette out of your fingers with two fingers like he was disarming a grenade. “Absolutely not.”

“Hey!” you protested weakly, but he was already putting it out in a nearby flower pot.

He turned back around, pointing at the Red Bull. “And that,” he said firmly, “is not breakfast.”

You clutched the can protectively to your chest. “It’s… it’s hydration?”

He gave you a look so disappointed and pained it would’ve made a lesser woman weep. “Baby, no. That’s… that’s poison.”

You laughed, leaning your head against his chest when he stepped closer, still holding the Red Bull hostage.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you murmured. “It was a long night. I needed something.”

He softened immediately, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you tightly into his chest. His hand cradled the back of your head.

“You could’ve just woke me up, sweetheart,” he murmured against your hair. “You don’t have to run on fumes and battery acid.”

You closed your eyes, breathing him in. He smelled like fresh hay and clean soap, like every good thing in the world.

“I didn’t wanna bother you,” you mumbled.

“You are my bother,” he said immediately, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’re my problem. You’re my whole world. You could wake me up at two a.m. to tell me you wanted a cookie and I’d drive two hours to get it.”

You giggled into his shirt.

He pulled back just slightly to look down at you, brushing hair off your forehead tenderly. “No more smoking, alright? It scares me. And no more replacing your blood with Red Bull.”

You smiled shyly. “Okay.”

“Promise?”

You nodded, and he gave you a soft, relieved grin, kissing your forehead again.

“C’mon,” he said, finally stepping back and reaching for your hand. “Let’s get some real breakfast in you.”

As he led you back inside, he muttered under his breath, “Gonna replace your Red Bull with green juice if it kills me…”

You smirked behind him.

Little did he know, there was a secret stash of Red Bull hidden behind the flour in the pantry.

You weren’t going down that easy.

——-

It had been a few days since Hayden’s emotional “no more Red Bull” speech on the driveway.

You’d nodded, kissed his chest sweetly, given him the softest eyes imaginable — and then, like any self-respecting menace, you’d gone straight inside and hid your remaining stash behind the giant bag of flour in the pantry.

You thought you were clever.

You thought you were safe.

You thought wrong.

It all went downhill the following Saturday when Hayden, in his endless pursuit of husbandly excellence, decided to make homemade pancakes.

You were still half asleep, cocooned in blankets on the couch when you heard him rummaging around in the kitchen, humming quietly to himself. A domestic king. A man on a mission.

And then

A sudden, chilling silence.

A silence that felt dangerous.

You cracked open an eye just in time to see him emerge from the pantry holding a Red Bull can aloft like a biblical artifact, face shocked, betrayed, and heartbroken.

“Explain.”

The can crinkled slightly in his death grip.

You sat up straighter, panicking. “That’s… uh… that’s old! Vintage!”

He walked forward slowly, deadly calm. “There are fourteen more cans behind the flour.”

You winced. “They’re collector’s items?”

“Collector’s items,” he repeated, deadpan. “Behind the flour.”

You nodded solemnly. “It’s a… hobby.”

He cracked open the pantry wider and pulled out the entire stash — an alarming collection of various Red Bull sizes, from tiny shots to full 12oz beasts. It looked like you were running an underground black market.

Hayden turned back to you, betrayal etched deep into his beautiful face.

“You lied to me,” he said dramatically, pressing a hand to his heart like a wounded Victorian wife.

“I didn’t lie lie!” you protested. “I just… omitted.”

“Omitted?” His voice cracked. “You’re hoarding illegal substances! In my house!”

You giggled into your hands. “It’s not drugs, it’s caffeine.”

He pointed at the cans again, looking like he was going to cry. “You said you quit! You promised!”

You gave him your best puppy-dog eyes. “It’s not like I’m drinking them all at once…”

Hayden dropped to his knees on the kitchen floor, cradling two cans to his chest like fallen soldiers.

“My sweet baby angel wife,” he groaned to the ceiling. “Addicted to rocket fuel and lies.”

You couldn’t help it. You slid off the couch and crawled over to him dramatically, wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind.

“I’m sorryyyyy,” you whined into his neck.

He sighed heavily but leaned into you. “You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack before you’re thirty.”

“I’ll slow down, I swear.”

“You said that last time. And the time before that.” He turned slightly to eye you with a raised brow. “You’re like a junkie. A Red Bull junkie.”

You pouted against his shoulder. “Don’t you still love me?”

He snorted, finally smiling despite himself, and turned to press a kiss to your temple.

“Of course I love you, menace,” he said quietly. “But if you don’t cut back, I’m gonna replace all of these with green smoothies. And broccoli snacks.”

You shuddered dramatically. “You’re evil.”

He grinned, setting the Red Bull cans down carefully, like defusing a bomb. Then he stood and offered you his hand to pull you up from the floor.

“We’ll negotiate,” he said magnanimously, like he was giving you a presidential pardon. “One Red Bull a day.”

Your mouth dropped open. “ONE?!”

He smirked. “Final offer. Take it or leave it.”

You grumbled under your breath, but took his hand anyway, letting him pull you up into his chest.

“One,” you mumbled.

“Good girl,” he teased, nuzzling your nose affectionately. “My heart can’t take watching you chain-smoke Red Bull like a divorced Vegas magician.”

You laughed against him, squeezing him tight.

And as he held you there messy hair, sleepy-eyed, and still half clinging to your caffeine addiction he kissed your forehead and whispered,

“My little menace. You’re stuck with me now. Red Bull and all.”

[leiandroid]

yakuza au

ok fam this au is now separated from my previous inohina yakuza/bratva au. had to fly the girls back to japan and they got a whole new backstory ! big wall of text incoming ↓↓↓

-- uchiha clan

a clan that was once powerful but was slowly eating itself from the inside. rife with internal conflict and distrust, key figures sought to strengthen the clan and each had an idea of how to bring about that change, though no two could come to an agreement on a single method. tensions amongst the ranks began to fracture the uchiha.

taking advantage of the power struggle, madara, with the hopes of seizing total control, ignites a spark that quickly turns into a bloodbath. many low level thugs employed by the uchiha flee the compound as each key figure and their loyal followers battle it out until so few are left standing it could barely be called a clan anymore.

the power vacuum left behind by the dissolution of the uchiha has created an extremely volatile environment in the crime world as different yakuza families seek to claim the uchiha’s previously held operations and territory.

-- hebi

sick of the endless politics and weakening bonds amongst the clan, sasuke left to forge his own path. as punishment for leaving the clan itachi takes his eye.

he had never expected that the power struggles within the uchiha would lead to a massacre. so when he heard about the bloodbath occurring inside the uchiha compound, he rushed home to save his parents from a grim fate. but was too late when he witnessed itachi kill them by his own blade.

sasuke quickly enacted revenge by killing itachi and when the dust settled and madara emerged as victor, sasuke turned his blade on him too and snuffed out the flame of the uchiha forever.

karin is an ex-cop that was the uchiha's informant within the police. she brokers deals and negotiations on behalf of sasuke. she is his mouthpiece, so to speak.

sasuke is also seeking two who were once allies/friends. suigetsu who had always dreamed to join the seven swordsmen's guild, and juugo a talented and brutal fighter who dominates the underground fighting scene.

together he hopes to form a small mercenary group for hire.

-- inoshikacho alliance / inoshikacho rengo

one of the first yakuza family alliances ever made going back generations. inoshin yamanaka, chosuke akimichi and shikanazai nara where the first of each clan to join the families into an alliance that has since become one of the strongest and long-lasting alliances in yakuza history.

at the age of 25 each member of the alliance is to have at least two children to ensure the next generation of the inoshikacho alliance grow up together and are trained to take on the mantle for the sake of the alliance's future. this also ensures that at least 3 generations are alive at any one time (if they don't meet an early grave that is).

the yamanaka run brothels, which act as a communication and information network. every girl is hand picked by ino or by trusted subordinates and trained in the art of seduction and information gathering. the yamanaka have large underground garden operations that cultivate plants for poisons with all kinds of effects and traceability, from the quick and painless to the slow and destructive.

akimichi control entertainment districts, money laundering operations and run the largest underground fighting scene. money flowing in and out of casinos and other avenues are fully controlled by the akimichi.

the nara are drug traffickers that control market price and distribution.

-- hyuuga clan / hyuuga kai

the strongest and most notorious yakuza in all of japan. their efficiency in all that they do make them a fierce clan. when the clanhead was found dead, many other groups thought this was finally the crack in the hyuuga shield and made moves to try and see if they could challenge their authority. but the second daughter stepped into place and ordered everyone in within a certain radius of the hyuuga estate dead.

if they thought hyuuga hiashi was a ruthless leader, hanabi, in one day alone, managed to put herself up as one of the deadliest and horrifying yakuza leaders in recent history.

their efficiency in the business and economics sector, as well as having ties within governmental and political bodies, makes them a very powerful clan with many branching factions reaching far and wide across the country.

someone, somewhere, always answers to a hyuuga.

-- neji hyuuga (tian)

after hizashi failed to protect the hyuuga leader's eldest daughter, he had to pay with his life in front of his only son.

watching his father commit seppuku and then swiftly beheaded by hiashi in front of the elders and close family, stuck with neji his whole life. he made a silent vow to exact revenge on hiashi. the bitterness in his heart made living amongst the hyuuga a slow acting poison. his hate for hiashi became stronger than his love for his father and he could never look upon a picture of hizashi anymore because his face was the face of his enemy.

neji bided his time for years and years until one fateful night he murdered hiashi in cold blood and fled the hyuuga estate. he made his way towards mainland china with some aid from a contact in the chinese triads. he disappeared for many years living amongst a guild of killers and started going by the name tian.

his next order of business was to find the abducted daughter that caused the death of his father and kill her himself.

-- hinata hyuuga (makoto)

the abducted hyuuga heir, taken from the hyuuga clan at a very young age. makoto lives her life as a simple woman, adopted by an elderly couple in the countryside, unaware of who she is or where she comes from.

when a 'chinese' man that bears an uncanny resemblance to her shows up at her cottage one day, calling her a name that does not belong to her, her life is flipped on its head and she finds herself plunged into the underbelly of society.

-- chinese triads / pirates

tenten is a weapons smuggler. though she is affiliated with the chinese triads, she smuggles and trades weapons for anyone that buys them, as her true loyalty is to money.

tenten's operations are done by sea and she has control over a small fleet of boats that answer to her. other than a port owned by the triads, she has claimed a small remote island as her home and base of operations.

she was also neji's contact that helped him sail the seas to mainland china after he murdered hiashi.

-- korean mafia

kiba is an animal trafficker. he acquires exotic animals for their ivory/fur/leather as well as selling them alive to the wealthy for their collections and keeps.

he has sold exotic birds to the yamanaka for their gardens. gathered all manner of cervidae antlers from around the world for the nara's collection. has captured the most venomous snakes known to mankind for several organisations, including certain individuals of the uchiha family. has also sold a number of species of animals for tenten for her island.

he is generally in good graces with all kinds of people/groups due to his connections and ability to acquire the even the most endangered and rare species in the world.

-- suna siblings

kankuro and temari own a small medical clinic. kankuro is a general family doctor. people come to him for check-ups and simple treatments and minor operations. temari handles all the logistics, and appears as the clinic's secretary. they have 3 nurses: matsuri, yukata, mikoshi.

kankuro is also a certified surgeon and operates on all sorts of gang members in the hidden basement operation room. matsuri has been trusted to help kankuro with these operations when needed. their practice offers complete discretion and the clinic has become off-bounds for any gang violence, even if rivalling groups happen to meet each other on the premises. they enter a truce for as long as they are within a certain radius of the clinic.

the brother and sister duo are a respected, unaffiliated group, and they also use their operations to get clues on their brother's whereabouts.

gaara was kidnapped at a young age and was tortured to the point that psychosis was induced. he is held in the same place as juugo and both are used in fights that many come to pay dearly to watch and bet on.

-- police

with his parents killed and taken from his home, naruto was raised by a gang who kidnaps boys to beat and torture, and train them into savage fighters. he dreamed for a life where he could see the sun and the sea, to eat a hot bowl of ramen once again.

when a police investigation finally bore fruit, naruto was rescued from the place. he was taken in by iruka, one of the cops, and eventually followed in his footsteps. he made a promise that he would find and save the redhead that had once clung to him down in those dark cells.

tsunade is chief of police. sai is a detective. lee is a chinese detective commissioned by the chinese police to go to japan to work alongside the tokyo metropolitan police dept to follow the chinese triads operations in japan. (or is it the hosting country that commissions?? anyway) a number of jonin from naruto are also police including: kakashi, yamato, genma, anko, etc etc.

-- sakura

sakura is the head of a large hospital that was once tied up with the uchiha who used her as an in for smuggling medical supplies. she was called upon as their emergency doctor to treat key figures when needed.

upon hearing about their massacre she felt total relief that the family threatening her life were finally gone. she thought she was free from them when a certain uchiha and 2 others showed up at her door demanding treatment.

she can't say she was happy to be back in such a predicament but it seemed that this uchiha didn't have a penchant for threatening her life as his family did. and for selfish reasons, she was okay with this arrangement.

-- the aburame

a family of assassins. their efficiency and untraceable methods make them a highly coveted group of hitmen whose services are sold to the highest bidder. the aburame have close ties with the yamanaka of the inashikacho alliance as they outsource some of their poisons from the yamanaka gardens.

even though the yamanaka, akimichi, and nara families formed an alliance generations ago, this agreement between the yamanaka and aburame remains a secret from the rest of the alliance.

the aburame are a completely neutral party and the yamanaka understands this. to pay for their secrecy and treachery towards their sworn brothers, the yamanaka accept that if a hit were ordered against their own, it wouldn't affect their business with the aburame.

if u read all this many hugs and kisses mwah