#Kiera obx
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rewatching obx and feeling dumb ash...i was fully convinced kie was gay and struggling with comphet and that's why she acted like that lmfaoooo
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I'm totally in beach mode and 2 weeks away from our annual beach vacation over at Watch Hill so figured I'd share my Pogue Playlist because it puts me in a good mood. Happy Summer all!!!! 🌞 🏝️ 🌊 🍹
#the pogues#obx pogues#obx kooks#beach#summer#beach playlist#Outerbanks#outer banks#john b routledge#John B#jj outer banks#jj obx#pope outer banks#Kiera obx#john b x sarah#sarah cameron#ward cameron#rafe cameron#rafe obx#Pogue playlist#summer playlist#feel good vibes#Spotify
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Madison Bailey ; like if save or use
#dumpitos#madison bailey#icons madison bailey#icons obx#obx3#kiera obx#icons series#icons tvshows#icons famous#icons celebs#twitter icons#icons random#series
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SMAU: Instagram posts with bsf Rafe!
Rafe x pogue bsf!reader
Part two here!
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A/n: this is my first time doing this so please be kind 🪼🩵💙
#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#rafe x pogue!reader#outerbanks rafe#outer banks imagine#outer banks#obx#drew starkey#rafe x reader#rafe x bsf!reader#john b routledge#sarah cameron#kiera carrera#pope heyward#jj maybank#smau#rafe smau#love4pascal
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𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝 ~ ℝ𝕒𝕗𝕖 ℂ𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕟 𝕩 ℙ𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕤!𝔻𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕖𝕣!ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣
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𝔻𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕣𝕚𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟: 𝔸𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 ℙ𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣'𝕤 𝕕𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕧𝕖 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕗𝕦𝕝 𝕒𝕔𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕖. 𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 ℝ𝕒𝕗𝕖 ℂ𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕟 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥? 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: ℂ𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕦𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜, 𝔻𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕚𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟, 𝔻𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕪/𝕊𝕚𝕣 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜, 𝔻𝕖𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘, ℙ𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕖, ℍ𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕃𝕠𝕤𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕍𝕚𝕣𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕪, 𝔹𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 𝟙.𝟟𝕜
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Y/N L/N. The most beautiful girl on Kildare island. She had silky smooth skin that was almost like porcelain so dainty and delicate she could be shattered and corrupted at any moment and that's just what Rafe Cameron planned to do. Corrupt her and claim her as his. Every time he heard her sickly sweet voice something grew in him, an urge. The urge to take away her innocence, He was like a predator lying in wait for the opportunity to attack. After months of waiting he found the perfect opportunity to strike. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon, Mr.L/N had just finished today's Sermon but he and the rest of Y/N's family decided to stay back at the church letting Y/N return home knowing she had some leftover schoolwork to complete. Rafe knew that whenever the L/N's decided to stay at the church every other Sunday they were usually gone for hours upon hours and today would be no different. He watched as she clicked her heels against the pavement on her way back to her car, her long sun dress flowing in the breeze she looked so angelic. It may seem cliche to say it about the Pastor's daughter but Y/N most definitely was an angel sent from heaven above and every single time it cause a strain in Rafe's shorts.
Just as she was about to reach her little blue beetle convertible she felt a hand on her shoulder she was almost sent into a panic when she heard it, heard him and a wave of relief hit her. "Hey darling, can I talk to you for a second?" she felt her heart flutter and a blush creep up her cheeks at the nickname leaving his lips. She took a deep breath before slowly turning around and looking up to meet his piercing blue eyes. "Sure Mr.Cameron, what is it?" 'Mr.Cameron' he chuckled to himself, the two weren't well acquainted other than the occasional small talk at the country club or church other than that even though they were both kooks their paths didn't cross often. "Slow your roll angel, you can call me Rafe, Im only a year older than you no need for all these hotshot titles." He gave her that smile that could have any girl falling into a puddle at his feet and Y/N's legs just about gave out at the sight. She would smile back at him before opening her mouth once more to speak "What did you need to talk to me about?" She looked away trying to avoid his piercing eyes and he smirked. "Just wanted to tell you that you looked really good today" He played with the hem of her sun dress dragging on what he was gonna say "Your dress really compliments your skin...I was wondering maybe if I could take you out to dinner tonight?" Y/N gave him a confused look, Rafe was handsome, really really handsome and he had a reputation with women around the island.
Kooks and Touron women alike, all of them were far more experienced than her. She never held hands, kissed a boy, she never even had a boyfriend and yet here she was standing in front of the Kook King staring dumbfounded because he just asked her to dinner. Noticing her puzzled look he spoke again, "My whole family leaves for the mainland this afternoon so maybe you could come over and I can make you dinner?" "Are you asking me on a date?" a low chuckle left his lips. "Yes angel, I'm asking you on a date."
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Considering how your day started you would've never expected to be in Rafe fucking Cameron's bed, your thighs squeezing his head while you're begging for your release, whines and small "Oh god's" leaving your swollen pink lips. "So I'm God now princess?" he let a chuckle slip out receiving a whine from you as he felt you clench around his fingers. A smirk creeps up on his face "Oh you like that angel? Do you like thinking of me as a god?" a small "Mhm" leaving your mouth. He grabbed ahold of your face making you look down at him "If you're not gonna use your words baby then ill put that mouth to use some other way. Open up. Now." Your jaw practically unhinges at his words as he stands to his full height and spits into your mouth, "Swallow" he shuts your jaw and slaps your face lightly as you swallow his saliva. "Such a good little girl, aren't you doll?" he continues to pump his fingers in and out of your soaked cunt, repeatedly hitting the soft spongey spot inside you causing you to let out a loud almost pornographic moan as you clench around his slender fingers one last time before releasing your juices all over his fingers.
"You taste so sweet, like honey." he sucks your release off his fingers and climbs up your body landing a kiss on your lips. Looking up at him with your big doe eyes you ask "What about you?" he lets a laugh slip past his lips "Aren't you just so generous, darling?" you bite your lip and avoid his gaze. "I just...I want you to feel good." a frown crossing over her face. He puts his index finger to his chin almost like he was thinking. "Okay, princess...you want me to feel good? Open up." Y/N hesitated looking up to see Rafe rolling his eyes before reaching his hand up to your face and giving you a light slap. "I thought you were a good girl Y/N. Why are you not following Daddy's orders, Hm?" You begin to feel a blush creep up your neck. "I-I am a good girl...I promise." You frown and he gives you a sly smirk. "Then prove it." You open your mouth slowly and hear him unbuckle his belt before hearing it hit the floor. Your eyes marvel at his visible hard-on showing through his boxers. As he pulls them down you witness his cock slap against his stomach and you begin practically drooling.
"You like what you see sweetness?" You nod slowly, too scared to close your mouth to speak before he walks over to you and slaps his cock against your lips. “Don’t be shy baby…Suck.” You take his cock into your mouth and begin to lightly suckle his tip giving kitten licks here and there before trying to take the whole thing in your mouth. You gag when the tip kisses the back of your throat but try again whilst tears are welling up in your eyes. He weaves his hand into your hair and pulls you off. “Careful Baby. I know you’ve never done this, you’re just a dumb little girl you’re not ready to take it all in that pretty little throat yet.” you nod and pull your mouth off him reaching your hand up to stroke him. You look up to see him flashing you a panty-dropping smile and you feel your arousal gush down your legs once more as you clench your thighs together. Rafe's hand begins to stroke your cheek as you continue to tug on his cock. "You think you're ready to take me baby? You want me to destroy that perfect little pussy?" "Yes sir." He smiles again, "There's my good little girl. Don't worry baby. I won't stop until I've completely corrupted that dumb little head of yours."
He rubs his tip through your soaked folds and the moment his tip bumps your puffy little clit you let out a whine. You whisper out a pathetic "Please." and you notice him shift his gaze to your face. "Please what angel? Tell me what you want." "Wan' you to fuck me sir...take my v-virginity." You swallow harshly and feel him begin to push his fat head inside you. "Relax Darling, Daddy's gonna take good care of his sweet girl." Hearing these words leave his lips your body relaxes and it allows him to bottom out inside you. You felt so full, you've never had anything feel this good. You never even touched yourself in fear that god was watching. "M-move...please need you to move." "Oh yeah? You think you're ready for that baby?" You nod, he begins with slow shallow thrusts that have you arching your back into the air as your hands grip onto his satin sheets. "Oh god." You moan out. "Shhh angel, God's not here. It's just me." His hand reaches up to grip your silver cross that dangles around your dainty little neck before he snatches ahold of the chain and pulls you upwards for a kiss. It's messy. Nothing but tongues and teeth clashing together. His thrusts begin to get more aggressive the sound of sweaty skin slapping together filling the room as you writhe beneath him.
His hand reaches up to draw quick circles on your clit. Who were you to tell him no? It was so swollen and begging for attention. You moan into his mouth, back arching into the air as your pussy begins to clench around him. "My perfect little fucktoy, You're nothing but a stupid little girl. Are you gonna cum baby? How about I fill up your tight little pussy? It's just begging to be filled. Want's me to give you a baby. You want that honey?" He breathes out, His breathing is shaky trying to help you reach your release. "Uhuh." you moan out, eyes squeezed shut and mouth agape. "Uhuh, what angel?" He slaps your cheek making your eyes shoot open. "Wan' you to give me a baby. Make me swollen and make me a mommy." he lets out a low groan as you clench around him and your arousal gushes against his cock and your thighs. After about 3 more shallow thrusts he shoots his seed inside you and lays his body on top of you. He slowly pulls his now softening cock out of you. He glances down to see his spend leaking out of you before gathering it on his fingers and fucking it back inside of you. "Gotta keep it in there baby. Make sure you become a mommy." You give him a shaky breath in response as he curls up next to you, stroking your hair out of your face and pecking your cheek. "This means you're mine now baby. My darling angel."
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#barry and rafe#rafe cameron smut#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#barry obx x reader#obx#jj maybank x reader#pastors!daughter#corruption#john b x reader#kiera cass#sarah cameron#emmalandry#drew starkey
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Endless List of Platonic Relationships I Love - The Pogues
"We never leave a pogue behind."
#obx#outerbanks#pope heyward#popehayward#jj maybank#jjmaybank#john b routledge#johnbroutledge#sarah cameron#sarahcameron#kiera carrera#kie carrera#kieracarrera#kiecarrera#obx cleo#sapphirebluejewel#they are so unserious#and share about five braincells between them#jj never has it
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Bestie I just watched outer banks and OMG. Rafe cameron is so fucking hot and the show is so interesting (could be better definitely).
omg don’t even bc I’ll write a whole essay about that missed opportunity of a show!!!
like yes Rafe is hot but this show takes no advantage of his hotness! This show barely has any romance or drama or anything it’s just treasure hunting which idgaf about!!! Like imagine Drew Starkey if he was in a cool show like one tree hill as a hot basketball player with actual romantic storylines like that would be sooo hot instead we get him in obx where he’s just annoying bc he’s this half assed villain who doesn’t do shit and it’s all so repetitive and just ugh MAYBE I SHOUDL BE WRITING THESE SHOWS
#if obx made me a writer I’d change everything#I’d make it a romantic drama#romantic drama at the beach#with a lot of angst and love triangles#I would deffo do Rafe x Kiera enemies to lovers#sorry anon I really went off on a tangent there#but to answer your ask like a sane person; yes omfg rafe is so hot 😭😭#even buzzcut Rafe was hot#actually I think I preferred buzzcut rafe the most#I just feel like Drew Starkey has such a unique hot face and it’s being WASTED#anon
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Outerbank picrews
So guys if your obbssessed with Outerbanks like I am <3 do this same thing but with a different picrew and defenetly write your opinion of the characters down <333333. I KNOW I SPELT DEFENTLY WRONG DONT BUG ME BOUT IT.
JJ : Best pogue their is, I love him. I find myself to be a lot like him, I'm a lil dum x_x. I know their gon be some real judgdy people after I say this but I think it's good that he died. He was bound to due to his decisions and I hope the pogues (n rafe hopefully) avenge him. He's pretty hot too ;))) <3.
Kiara : I love her smmmmm, she so preety. Love her orange bikini fit. Such a boss girl, need more like her. Love that she be doing whatever she wants, low key aiming to be her. #IWannaBeHer Okay but I won't forget that she kissed all the pogue boys, playgirl lol.
Sarah : I find her always getting on my nerves but I still like her. I feel like she never is gonna be a real pogue but she's a nice character. I just find her a tad bit annoying, but damn she bad :PPPP. I'm straight lmao, :333.
Jhon B : Meant to be the main charector, idk why ppl be saying he's ugly. He a big ol SMASSHHHHHH. I find him so sweet, like that is low key ma man. He's the type of guy who would cup your cheeks and kiss your forehead. Aahhhhhhhhh, my dreams, my dreams. Low key hated his dad tho, idk why.
Pope : Ahhhhh my smart boy, very smart boy. He's soooo cute, kinda feel bad about his crush on Kiki though (don judge I call her that >_<). Nothing much to say about him, I liked the story bout his cross. Feel like he's a really basic character tho lmfao.
Cleo : Hands down best pogue girl, she's so independent. I feel like she's always happy no matter what she has, like take everything away from her, you're not able to take away her smile. Like Pope, you picked someone good jus saying. :P
Rafe : OMG my pookie bear. I love him, fucking love him, want him to fuck me, marry me. I said nothing guys. Anyways I do not care that he is a sociopath, he is MY sociopath. He such a peanut butter cup tho, idk what that mean but he is. Love the scene where he hugs Sarah. So helpful. So dreamy. So hot. Fuckin love when he says "CHECKMATE BITCH". Like go boy, go!
Anyways bye pookies. Make sure you do this! ;pp
P4L
Woogity, Woogity
#Outerbanks#OBX#tagginggame#obxtagginggame#rebloggame#game#pleasedo#tagging game#tag game#drew starkey#rafe cameron#obx cast#outer banks#picrew#JJ maybank#rafe#Jj#jj constantly tryna sneak in there#kie#jjxkie#Kiera carrera#idk how to spell that#funny#pope heyward#pope#cleo#cleo anderson#my pookies#pookies#netflix se
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hiii, im navie! im getting back into writing fanfiction so i would loveeee some requests! here are shows/movies that i will write for:
-criminal minds
-marvel
-brooklyn 99
-outer banks
-gilmore girls
-everything sucks
i’m really bad at listing things, so if you have a suggestion that isn’t listed here please share!! here are some things you should know about me
-i will write x reader!
-i’m a lesbian, so women are easier to write for in my case.
-i’m down to write smut, but i’m a little rusty.
-i’ll write for pretty much anybody.
-i won’t write any form of fanfiction about a celebrity or real person. it’s a little (very) weird.
-i won’t write smut about minors, but otherwise fanfic is cool.
okay bye loviesss
#emily prentiss x female reader#rosa diaz x fem!reader#emily gilmore#stars hollow#jennifer jereau x fem!reader#logan and rory#gilmore girls#gilmore#luke and lorelai#brooklyn 99#x reader#fanfiction#criminal minds#spencer reid#aaron hotchner#emily prentiss#jennifer jareau#marvel#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#steve rogers#peter parker#everything sucks#sydney sweeney#outer banks#obx#jj maybank#john b routledge#sarah cameron#kiera carrera
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RIARA NATION WAKE UP 🗣️
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#POSTED ON THE OFFICIAL OBX ACCOUNTS MIND YOU#W THE CAPTION#AND THE OTHER TWO RAFE SHIPS BEING INCLUDED THIS SHIP IS SAILING YALL#obx#outer banks#obx spoilers#rafe cameron#kiera carrera#drew starkey#madison bailey#rafe x kiara#riara#otp: pretty hot for a pogue
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Rafe from obx with a buzz cut >>>>>
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@kierras // KIE
“So are you gonna tell me how the hell you and JJ ended up down here?” Now that things had calmed down, and they had all been reunited, with enough gold to lead up to the moon, he was curious how they had ended up exactly where they needed to be. “I know you guys didn’t suddenly grow wings.”
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SMAU: Instagram posts with bsf!Rafe: Part three!
Rafe x Pogue bsf!reader
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An: OMG we’ve made it to part three?? I hope you enjoyed! Feedback is appreciated 🩵🤍.
TAGLIST: @justsomerandompersonintheworld
#rafe cameron#sarah miller#john b routledge#jj maybank#kiera carrera#pope heyward#barry obx#rafe smau#rafe x pogue!reader#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe fic#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#obx season 4#obx smau#obx fic#love4pascal
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JJ Maybank X Reader ~ Relapse and a Half
My first OBX fic. I hope y’all like it.
Summary: The Pogues feel betrayed by the readers sudden relapse into hard drugs, but they’re unable to be angry at her for too long as something terrible leaves her needing their support more than ever.
Trigger warning for: drugs (obviously), guns, sexual assault, violence
Part two
Part One:
You'd been on the edge for a while now. The relapse should've been seen from a mile off. Your uncharacteristic quietness, the way you'd get lost in your thoughts, the distant look in your eyes. Everyone could tell that something was up, but even when they questioned you about it you had no real answers to give - uncertain yourself of what was making you feel so withdrawn.
When you'd first moved to OBX with your busy mum, you'd instantly found a group of friends - a really good group of friends - the Pogues. And they'd been quick to suss out that you were hiding things - particularly JJ. You were practically never sober, for starters, and though he wasn't either, you had a way of taking it to the next level. This was fun most of the time, but sometimes it got to a level that was concerning - even to the most problematic Pogue on the island. Whenever he'd pushed you for answers, trying to figure out what exactly you were self medicating for, you got extremely annoyed and so he never really got a straight answer. You couldn't bare to be so vulnerable with anyone - let alone the boy you'd started to develop feelings for - so you remained somewhat of a mystery.
Sure, there had been nights when you'd shared a bed - both of you very drunk. You'd convince yourself that maybe JJ liked you, maybe the sex meant more to him than just sex, but then when he'd continue to treat you like just a friend the morning after, your hopes would be crushed. It’s not like you ever gave him any reason to think that the sex was anything other than casual, but that was because you didn’t want him to be able to reject you. And besides, could he not tell that you wanted more? Kiera could and she wasn’t even in the bedroom.
Then the overdose happened. The Pogue's had suspected that you'd been taking something other than just alcohol for a while. The night that you'd almost died at the Chateau their suspicions became a painful fact. You'd taken a few too many pills - benzodiazepines to be exact - and though you'd known that you were reaching a point of no return, after hearing all about the gorgeous touron that JJ had been obsessed with, you couldn't bring yourself to stop.
That night had been awful for everyone, and you'd ended up tearfully promising that you would get clean after that, unable to bear the hurt on the Pogue's faces. So you'd been almost a year clean now, blossoming into a new person that the Pogue's liked even more than the old you. Yours and JJ's relationship remained just as complicated though - still having the occasional hookup but largely seeming as if you were just friends. Now that you weren't on pills and you could actually fully remember the sex, it hurt even more in the morning after. Still, you continued, desperate to feel wanted even if it was just for a night.
You hadn't realised how much this routine was actually bothering you until in a night similar to the one you'd overdosed on, JJ had been making out with another gorgeous touron.
*Your POV*
I'd watched jealously from across the party, ignoring the sound of Kie in my ear telling me that "I was much prettier than that touron."
I appreciated the sentiment, but I knew it was a lie, and so in a split second decision, I told Kie that I was going to go home. "I'm going to have an early one." I said, knowing it was a lie. "I'll see you tomorrow."
In that split second decision, I'd decided that all of my progress didn't matter if I still felt this worthless. What was the point in being clean if it meant that I wanted to die? JJ's insistence had been one of the things that had motivated me to stay away from the pills, but he hadn't been interested in me for a while now. He hadn't even asked me for a fuck. Had he grown bored of me? Or maybe I had gotten uglier without realising it. Maybe I had put on some weight or he didn't like my haircut. Maybe he’d developed feelings for a different girl - a better girl.
Kie nodded worriedly, clearly not sure whether to believe me or not. I hadn't even directly confessed to her that I liked JJ, she was just the only one in the group who wasn't too stupid to see it.
"Okay. Be safe." She smiled, pulling me into a hug, and though I felt bad, I still hopped on my bike and headed straight to Barry's as soon as the coast was clear.
Kie would be devastated if she'd known where I was actually going. So would John B, and Pope, and maybe even JJ, but they would forgive me quicker than her. At least, I thought that they would.
Blurred memories of the night I'd overdosed filled my mind; the sound of shouting, someone's fingers down my throat, a muffled sob, flashing lights. A shiver of shame ran down my spine as I struggled to push the images from my mind.
The ride to Barry's was short, though it felt like a lifetime as all the things I hated about myself bounced around in my head like a torturous broken record. Of course JJ didn't want to be with me. I wasn't beautiful enough. I wasn't cool enough. I wasn't good enough. I would just continue to be his slutty friend that he could stick it in whenever it was convenient for him, and he didn't even seem to want that anymore. The thought made me even more ashamed, remembering all the times I'd let him fuck me, hoping that he'd found me beautiful, thinking that maybe he liked me, just to realise in the morning that I was easy to him.
Yet I knew, that if he were to approach me in that moment and ask for a fuck, I wouldn't say no. I wanted to be wanted so badly, even if it was just for a fleeting moment, and the feeling was unbearable. It ate me up inside, making my chest tight and my eyes water. I was quick to blink any dampness away from my eyes though, focused instead on the high that I would soon have - the comfortable numbness that it would bring me. My clean streak meant nothing, a stupid concept when compared to the internal anguish I felt. From my low self esteem to my repressed trauma, I had no fight left in the battle to stay clean. Sure, the Pogue's would be upset if they found out, but I wouldn't let them find out. I would keep it low-key, unlike I did before.
When I knocked on Barry's door, I was relieved that he was the one to answer and the house was seemingly empty, meaning I only had to speak to him. His friends were annoying, and though I didn't particularly like Barry, I found him funny sometimes.
"Well shit, Y/N. Been a while." He grinned.
"Yeahh. Well I'm back." I said with a mock smile.
"Come inside."
The transaction had soon been completed; a pot of pills in my hand and some cash in Barry's. I leant back into the sofa and took one immediately, swallowing it down with a beer handed to me by him.
"Bad night?" He questioned with an amused scoff.
"Something like that." I answered. "How about you? Place ain't usually this empty on a Friday."
"Want my own company sometimes. That a crime?"
"No. Just strange is all." I murmured, taking another swig from the beer.
Paired with my already drunkenness, the feeling of the pill was starting to hit - hard and strong - and I felt my body slump comfortably into the sofa. My head felt light whilst the rest of my body felt heavy, creating a strange, cosy sensation. It was a feeling I'd missed.
"Well what happened with you, party princess?" He scoffed, cracking open a beer for himself.
I let out a light chuckle at the question, now feeling as if it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.
"Dumb shit."
"You looked pretty upset when I opened the door. Boyfriend troubles?"
I raised my eyebrows in mock offence.
"Why would I have a boyfriend?" I questioned with a laugh "Who'd you hear that from?"
Barry laughed too.
"Cus a girl like you - you're pretty. I'm surprised some Kook hasn't swiped you up."
I snorted at that and rolled my eyes.
"Well thanks I guess."
I thought about having sex with Barry in that moment, just to hear him call me pretty again. But I decided against it, slightly sickened by the idea, and pulled myself off the sofa.
"I should go, see you around?"
"You sure you can ride that thing safely?"
"Yeah. I'll be fine." I chuckled before heading out the door and throwing myself back onto my bike.
The ride home was perilous, and though I did almost crash a few times, my body went into autopilot and I was soon safely in my bed, mind too numb to pick myself apart for the first night in a while.
For the next week I was able to keep the pill-taking to a minimum, only popping two a day at most. I only did it to make the thoughts stop - to bring on the comfortable numbness so that I could actually bare to be awake. So that I could actually bare to be around my friends.
I'd always managed to keep my feelings for JJ locked up and manageable, but for some reason seeing him with that touron had bothered me in ways I hadn't been bothered before. Perhaps it was because she was so gorgeous, or maybe it was how pleased JJ looked to have pulled her. Either way, it just reinforced to me how worthless I was. He brought her up one day at the Chateau and it instantly made me feel hot with annoyance.
"That touron from the other night just texted me, should I go there again?" He said with a proud smirk, looking around the room.
I rolled my eyes and picked up the half smoked blunt from the ashtray, relighting it and sucking on it in hopes that it would make my jealousy fade.
"Didn't you steal like a hundred dollars from her purse?" Pope scoffed, eyes focused on the television. Adventure Time was playing with the volume on low, and both Pope and Kie seemed more interested in it than the conversation that JJ and John B had been having. I'd been drifting lazily between the two, too high to properly contribute to anything, but now JJ had my full attention.
"Yeah. Obviously didn't notice though. Girl had too much cash for her own good." He mused, eyes on his phone screen. "Ooh! And guess what she just sent me."
"Tit pic?" John B asked, a grin crawling onto his lips.
"Tit pic." JJ confirmed, chucking his phone over to John B.
"Nice." He chuckled, looking at the phone before chucking it back to JJ.
"You guys are disgusting." Kie scoffed. "I mean like really JJ? Did that girl send you that picture for you to show your friend? You have no respect for women sometimes."
"I respect women very much, actually Kie. I respect you and Y/N. I respect your mums and Pope's mum. I just don't respect easy, spoiled touron's like her." He said defensively, and I loudly scoffed at that. He didn't respect me.
"What? You think I don't respect women too?" He asked me with furrowed brows, crossing his arms.
He was sat across the room from me; myself, Kie and Pope spread out across the sofa whilst him and John B sat in chairs. I looked him up and down, pleased that there was no lump in my throat to swallow, no butterflies in my stomach to squash and no loving gaze to hide.
“Sure, you really respect women JJ. Whatever you say.”
He looked surprised by that response, probably expecting me to get defensive, then continued on a rant about how he wasn’t misogynistic. Kie argued with him for a little bit, and John B and Pope eventually joined in too. Usually I also would’ve joined, just for the amusement of it all, but no words came to my mind. Instead I just watched, chuckling at the occasional insult being thrown and smoking my blunt.
Two weeks later and I’d upped the dose to at least four pills a day. The thoughts had gotten harder to crush, growing a tolerance. Much to my relief though, none of the Pogue’s seemed to suspect anything.
It was a hot day and we’d decided to go swimming, using the inner ring of a tire as a floaty - which we all fought over.
“I stole the tire, so I should get it!” JJ proclaimed, and though he was right, I wanted the ring.
“Okay well if you’re not a woman hater, prove it by letting me and Kie have the ring!” I grinned.
“Yeah! Prove it!” Kie added, high-fiving me.
JJ groaned and rolled his eyes, but eventually gave in with a slight smirk to me.
“Okay fine - but we’re sharing it!”
I giggled at his childish nature, feeling the butterflies rise up in my stomach that I’d been managing so well to suppress. The second that I realised what I was feeling, I knew that I needed to take another pill.
“I’m gonna go pee. Don’t wait for me.” I said, heading back indoors.
Once I was in the bathroom, I dug through my bag to find the orange pot, irritated when I realised that I didn’t have a lot left. I’d have to go back to Barry’s soon. That was annoying. I swallowed one of the pills with some water from the sink and looked at myself in the mirror before heading back out. I looked tired and unattractive and I sighed at that, thinking of how good the girl that JJ had been dancing with at the boneyard this week looked.
I reached into the fridge and took myself out a beer, cracking it open and downing half of it before stepping out of the kitchen. I didn’t expect to see JJ stood on the porch waiting for me, a slight furrow to his brow. I purposely hadn’t been alone with him in weeks and it sent a pang of anxiety into my chest.
“Starting this early? Haven’t seen you do that in a while. You feeling alright?” He asked, his voice soft.
“Yeah. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. You just seem.. different.” He was wording himself carefully, I could tell, which was very out of character for him. What could he possibly want from me?
“I’m just tired.” I said with a huff and tried to walk past him.
He suddenly put his hands on my waist, which was exposed in a bikini, holding me still. At the initial contact, I felt electrified, but I was quickly reminded of what I had missed - and the reasons why. I worried that my flesh felt too squishy under his fingers, that there was too much of it, or that the dip of my waist wasn’t defined enough. Compared to that touron I probably felt like a whale.
“What’s going on Y/N? Are you mad at me?” He asked, his eyes wide with concern, but I couldn’t think about his words - only the crippling self hatred his hand on my waist was making me feel.
I stepped backwards so that he was no longer touching me, something that only seemed to deepen the crease between his eyebrows, and blinked a couple of times before I could speak.
“I’m, uh- I’m going to grab a shirt.”
And with that I paced back inside, finishing the beer and pulling one of John B’s oversized vests over my bikini. The pill hadn’t kicked in yet and I could still see JJ stood waiting on the porch so I decided to go into the bathroom and take another. Then I grabbed another beer from the fridge and downed it, relieved when I felt the relaxing effects kick in almost immediately.
“Why are you downing beer? Since when do you do that?” JJ’s voice from behind me made me jump, his face critical.
“I’m just having a good time.” I smiled at him.
“Really? Because you don’t look like you’re having a good time. You look miserable, Y/N.”
Was it that easy to see through my charade? It irritated me that he cared now when he should’ve cared a couple of weeks ago. Now it was too late.
I huffed and shook my head, managing to walk past him this time undisrupted and lead the way to the water.
“I’m fine. Come on, let’s go.”
He didn’t bother me for the inflatable ring at all. In fact, he didn’t speak to me for hours after that. I wasn’t bothered by it though, the mix of booze and benzos that had finally hit making me entirely unfazed by everything. The comfortable numbness that I craved so badly.
I lay floating in the ring for what felt like hours, my eyes closed as I felt the waves move me freely around. The water was so cold compared to the beaming sun, but the two extremes together made me feel more relaxed than I had been in a while. Maybe I had fallen asleep, I wasn’t too sure, but when someone was suddenly directly next to me, interfering with the natural direction of the waves, I jumped up at their presence.
“What are you thinking about?”
It was Kie, her tone lighthearted though her face was concerned.
“Not much. The sound of the water mostly. You?” I answered truthfully.
“Honestly, right now I’m thinking about you.”
“Why? You into me or something?” I teased, not expecting her tone to change to match her face.
“No Y/N I’m serious. What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting weird ever since that party with the blonde touron.”
Kie was catching on, which was bad. It wouldn’t take her much to figure out what was really happening, so I had to come up with a lie, or maybe not a lie but a distraction.
“Yeah. Okay. I’m sad about JJ… But it doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it.” I confessed, relieved when I saw the stress in Kie’s face relax.
“He’s a total idiot. You can do better than him anyway.” She said with exasperation, stroking my hair.
“No I can’t.” I laughed. “But like I said, it doesn’t matter.”
Kie sighed.
“I wish you weren’t so harsh on yourself. If you could see what other people could see you wouldn’t be.”
I smiled at her, feeling appreciation for the girl buzz through me.
“Love ya Kie.”
She smiled too, but it was weaker than usual.
“Love you too… Now give me the floatie.”
When it got dark some hours later we all piled back into the Chateau and put on a movie, squeezing onto the couch. I sat on the edge and much to my displeasure, JJ sat next to me. That displeasure only lasted a second though before it was washed over by a tidal wave of carelessness, and I was able to relax my body against his like he was anyone - not the most problematic Pogue on the island.
The movie went on for a while until JJ shifted positions, wrapping his arm around me and placing his hand on my leg.
This had been a fairly standard position for us, his fingers creeping up my thigh in the darkness of the room and our friends none the wiser. Now it felt different though, and instead of being excited by it I was annoyed. Was I only good enough to touch in secret? Was he touching me now just because I was there and it was something to do? Could he only bare to touch me when he was drunk? I needed to take another pill.
With a wobble, I flicked JJ’s hands from me and pushed myself up, grabbing my handbag and heading to the bathroom. Pope and Kie had passed out on top of each other and John B was too engrossed in the movie to look up. So when I heard a knock on the bathroom door, I knew who it was before it even opened.
“I didn’t say you could come in. I could’ve been taking a shit.” I teased.
JJ’s stoney face didn’t offer a crack of amusement as he stepped closer to me.
“What’s going on with you? It’s like you can’t stand to be around me. Have I done something?”
“No. Everything is fine.” I answered with a fake smile.
He didn’t buy it, becoming visibly annoyed.
“You’re so full of shit Y/N. Don’t try to play dumb with me right now. I know you’re pissed off about something.”
“Why do I have to be pissed off about something?” I said combatively, crossing my arms.
“Because you’re acting like my touch is gonna make you sick or something and you clearly can’t stand to be around me! Is this because of that tit pic I showed John B? I don’t get it. Are you jealous or something? Or do you just think I’m a sexist pig too?”
“My world doesn’t revolve around you. Have you ever considered that I just stopped giving a shit about what you do?”
I usually felt horrible about lying to my friends, but looking at his beautiful face, thinking of how he didn’t want me, the lie came out easily. He clearly didn’t buy it though.
“Oh really? Is that why you don’t want to fuck anymore? Because you stopped giving a shit about me? Yeah right.” He scoffed and I felt my face start to angrily heat up. “What the fuck is going on? Did someone tell you some bullshit about me? Do you have a boyfriend now or something?”
I scoffed right back at him, widening my eyes in disbelief.
“Would that make you jealous? If I had a boyfriend?”
“Do you or do you not?” He demanded with gritted teeth.
I didn’t answer for a moment, enjoying the stressed expression on his usually uncaring face. Did he really care if I had a boyfriend? Surely not in any way that mattered. Just in some stupid male ego way. I sighed at that and uncrossed my arms as I answered.
“Obviously not. Who would want to be with me? Don’t be stupid, JJ. Now what did you come in here for?”
He looked at me incredulously, as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. I didn’t understand why he seemed so stressed for and it was irritating to me.
“For this conversation, right now! What do you think I came in here for?” He said exasperatedly and I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t know but can you leave? I need to pee.”
“No, I can’t leave until I know what the fuck is going on with you. Jesus! How much have you had to drink?”
Had I been slurring? I couldn’t tell.
“Not enough for this.” I tutted bitterly.
He sucked in his lips and took a deep breath, eyeing me like he was trying to work something out.
“Wait, look at me straight for a second.” He muttered, reaching his hand out to touch my face, angrily repeating himself when I questioned why.
His thumb stroked over my bottom lip and I straightened my back, trying to match his stare but unable to stand completely still. He hadn’t looked at me with such intrigue in a long time, and I was glad I was so high or else I would’ve completely submitted under his blue gaze. His next words instantly shattered any fantasies that could’ve been playing in my head though, instead filling me with unreasonable rage.
“You’re high aren’t you?”
I knew it wasn’t a question. The steely look in JJ’s eyes and his flared nostrils made it abundantly clear that he’d already figured out the answer for himself. But I couldn’t let him think he was right.
“I mean yeah, I’ve smoked a lot today, you have too-”
“You know that’s not what I mean.” He hissed, dropping his hand from my face. “I can’t fucking believe you. This is why you’ve been acting weird. I should’ve known.”
I rolled my eyes and mumbled “You’re overreacting, I’m just drunk” to which he quickly shot back “Oh yeah? Why are your pupils the size of mars then?”
“They’re not.” I felt my footing slip slightly as I lied, and I had to quickly lean against the wall to stop myself from falling.
“And now you’re just lying to my face. Nice one Y/N. How long had you been clean? A year, almost?”
I thought of the hours that he’d spent with me when I’d first gotten sober; looking after me when I was being sick, bringing around food, washing my hair. I’d felt so loved. I’d felt like there was no reason for me to ever pick up a benzo again.
The betrayal in his voice told me that that would never be happening again. With a huff, I picked up my bag from the side and shoved past the blonde, gasping when he grabbed my arm.
“Where are you trying to go now?” He laughed humourlessly.
“Get off me, JJ. I’m going home.”
“What because you’ve been caught out?”
“No. Because you’re being a dick.”
He wouldn’t loosen his grip on my arm despite my desperate pulling and so I started to speak louder, hoping someone would intervene and give me a chance to slip out.
“Get off me!”
“I’m not letting you go.” He said with gritted teeth, tightening his grip. “What have you taken?”
“Get the fuck off me!” I repeated louder, relieved when John B appeared in the doorway.
“What the hell is going on?” He looked between us with a concerned expression and JJ loosened his grip.
“She’s on fucking drugs again, John B.” JJ hissed and though I wanted to argue and try to prove him wrong, I quickly slipped out of the bathroom and paced out of the house, ignoring JJ’s shouts from behind me.
“What the fuck is going on Y/N?”
“Do you just not give a shit about yourself? About your friends?”
“How could you do this? You were clean for so long.”
His words stung, and though I rationally knew he was right, I was too ashamed to feel anything other than anger and embarrassment. The Pogue’s would hate me now, and rightfully so.
I understood why JJ was so annoyed. I’d listened to him seethe about his dad, about how he was an abusive drug addict - but yet, when the blonde came home and he was passed out on the sofa, JJ still always checked if he was breathing. I’d seen the bruises, and met the man who left them, begrudgingly shook his hand and tried to forget what he’d done with them. Was I reminding JJ of that? Was I like his piece of shit father?
In a rush, I picked up my bike and went to get on it but instantly fell over, dropping the bike as I did.
“You’re gonna ride home like this? Seriously?” JJ’s voice came from behind me, loud and aggressive.
I struggled to pick my bike back up, almost falling over it again, and his hands were suddenly on top of mine, holding the handles and stopping me from going. John B was quick behind him.
“Are you really on drugs, Y/N?” John B questioned, eyes wide.
“I’m just drunk.” I hissed, trying to pull the bike out of JJ’s grip.
“Right, she says she’s just drunk, let her go JJ.” John B said harshly but JJ scoffed.
“She’s lying! Look at her! She can’t even walk properly!”
Then he turned to me, his voice suddenly pleading and face full of pain. It caught me off guard and I felt another pang of guilt ripple through my body, tears attempting to escape my eyes but being successfully pushed back by the Xanax.
“What have you taken, Y/N? Please don’t lie to me. I know you’ve taken something.”
I wanted to tell him the truth so bad. The whole truth. I wanted to break down and beg for his forgiveness, to tell him I loved him and that I would get clean again.
But I couldn’t do it.
There was no point.
I’d ruined everything now anyway.
“I’m just drunk. Leave me alone.” I slurred and tried to pull the bike from his grip again.
It didn’t work. I fell backwards onto the ground, landing on my butt with a groan. I laughed at my fall instinctively, forgetting the situation I was in for a second, but when I looked up and saw my friend’s distressed faces my laughing stopped. Even John B looked suspicious now, his eyes snapping from mine to JJ’s. He bent down and pulled me up with ease, though he huffed after he’d done it.
“Y/N, can we look in your bag?”
My heart leapt into my throat and I quickly jumped to defence.
“No way you fucking pervs. Let me go home.”
He turned to JJ with an straight face and both of them exchanged a short look before looking back at me.
That was it. He believed JJ. He knew.
“I’m not letting you ride home. I’ll drive you.”
His voice had been so monotone, so void of any real offering, that it caught me off guard. He was angry. I looked at JJ. He was angry too.
“N-No. I’m fine. I can ride-”
“I’m fucking driving you home, Y/N. Get in the Twinkie.” John B cut me off sharply and I jumped backwards, almost falling again until he caught me.
They both looked so disappointed and I was so ashamed at that point that all I could do was nod, following him silently to the van. JJ said nothing and I didn’t dare look back to see if he was looking, though I felt that I could feel his stare on the back of my head. This was the worst thing that could’ve happened. Why did I have to take it so far? Why did I have to lie to their faces like that?
The short drive back to mine was agonisingly silent, all John B said was “Look after yourself” before I stepped out of the van.
My voice got caught in my throat and all I could force out was “Y-Yeah” before closing the door and stumbling towards my house.
Had I destroyed my friendship with the Pogues? It certainly felt like I had.
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Safe and sound
Warnings: a bit of angst I guess, postnatal depression mentioned, typos, does not explicitly follow the plot of OBX, website links, written and smau
Faceclaim:kelssopretty on Instagram
*YouTube video clip*
The clip begins with a darkened screen and the sound of a typewriter being set up. As the sound of paper sliding across the rollers punctuates the air. The clack of the cartridge return lever echoes as the first letter in bold white font appears across the screen. Bit by bit, the words are spelt out to the sound of the typewriter's keys. As the last shift is heard, the screen reads, "Business owner dilemma: Pope reprimands us for being careless... again."
The screen fades to a still image of you and the Pogues with the press play symbol in the middle of the screen; a mouse icon appears; clicks the symbol, and the video begins. "No more $200 on heirloom tomatoes" can be heard in the background as you adjust your camera's focus to capture Kiera's shocked and disgruntled expression at Pope's demand.
You chuckle in the background, but your laughter is cut short as a question enters your mind. You ask Pope, "What about my imported peppers to make the jerk sauce?” Pope stutters on the first word in his haste to answer you, "Those—the peppers gotta go too, baby."
A caption materialises at the bottom of the screen as he speaks, "I know he's reprimanding me, but that "baby" at the end did it for me; it got me like, Sir, yes, sir!" The Pogues can then be heard collectively arguing; as you turn the camera to yourself and roll your eyes, the screen cuts to black.
*Girls Trip Vlog Clips*
"Hey, my babies, welcome back to my video," you whisper into the camera. "It's 5:36 a.m., and I, for the life of me, can't sleep," you say as you drag out the last syllable of the word sleep. Next to you, Sarah grumbles something and turns onto her outside. You make the gesture of shutting up to the camera, quietly ease yourself off the bed, and enter the next room.
"I had to leave the bedroom; I didn't want to wake my girls up. Idk how they can sleep right now; I've been feeling so stressed and anxious lately, you explain as you yawn and wipe your face. "Life just isn't going how I expected it to, and the girls decided that I needed a break from Outerbanks and the boys and just that sort of life in general, and now we're here on vacation."
You walk towards the counter and place your camera on its tripod. Taking a step back, you stand still for a second as you scrutinise how it's placed and make necessary adjustments. "Now that you guys are comfy, I'm going to make breakfast and list today's itinerary to you guys, just so you have an idea of what we'll be doing," you cheerfully state.
You turn to the refrigerator and unpack tomatoes, spinach, eggs, bacon, carrots, and bell peppers. You rest all of these items on your countertop and pivot towards your drawers, where you remove a knife and cutting board along with a ceramic bowl and fork.
“Also, I`m cooking scrambled eggs for the girls and I. Ah, yes, our itinerary; we're going to do some shopping, Obvi!" You say the "obvi" in an exaggerated tone. "We're also going to visit the beach and some other tourist attractions; it's going to be so fun."
The sound of rustling can be heard in the bedroom, followed by a faint "aw sh*t." "Kie is awake now," you whisper as you cut the tomatoes. "I think I'm going to cut the video here so I can make breakfast and have some girl time with Kie; see you guys in a few minutes; bye-bye," you say as you kiss the screen.
*Next clip of the girls trip vlog*
"Hey, my babies," you say, your voice laced with a hoarse tone. Excuse the way I sound; I've been crying." Sarah interrupts, "Yes, we just had a healthy crying session. We cried about everything." She appears in the camera with puffy eyes and red cheeks; her appearance evokes a chuckle from both of you. In the background, Kie can be heard yelling, "Yes, because we are girls together!" The screen fades as her last word is uttered.
*Final clip of the vlog*
"Hey my babies, I'm currently at the airport; the girls just boarded their flight and are heading back home, while I'm stuck waiting on Rafe," you say with a sarcastic grin. "The Kook King shows up whenever he feels like, Lucky me." The clip cuts abruptly.
The next clip starts with you accepting a beverage from someone. As you stretch your hand to accept it, the other person's hand appears on camera; the rings on their index and pointer fingers are easily identifiable; it's Rafe Cameron, your best friend. You drink your chai tea and state into the camera, "This is good!” You continue by demanding that Rafe say hi to the camera, which he does, then turn to whisper something in your ear that makes you groan and push him away.
You flip the camera from facing you to the back, where Rafe can be seen on camera. Behind the camera, you tell Rafe to tell the people where we're going and why we're going there. "We're heading to New York for some sort of fashion show and fashion awards," he drawls. "Yes, it's going to be so fun!" You exclaim. "I'm so excited, and I'm going to be taking you guys along with me."
"Rafe is here with me ‘cause he's paying for the flight," you say as Rafe scoffs in the background. "Tell the truth, Y/N," Rafe demands. "Okay, okay," you say as you give in, "he's not only here's paying for it; he's also here because I need some support." You take a second to breathe and then continue. "Things have been hectic and demanding for me, so I need someone with me to ground me, and the girls can't be here 24/7; they have lives of their own." Your voice cracks, and you pause to clear your throat. Rafe leans forward and collects the camera from you, whom he then gently shuts off and rests on the seat next to you guys.
*Off-camera, real life*
Rafe pulls you into a hug and places his head on your shoulder. "Are you alright?" He gently enquires, and you hug him tightly while shaking your head, "No.". You rise with your lips parted to verbally answer his statement, but instead, you're met with a lump in your throat, teary eyes, and a wobbly chin.
"Hey, hey shush kid, c’mon. Things are going to be okay. I'm here, kid. C’mon, sweetheart." Rafe tries all the comforting words in a bid to calm you down. "Is it the Pogues? ” You shake your head no. "Is it?" he hesitates. "Is it Pope?" You strongly shake your head at this question. "Then what is it, sweetheart? You've got to tell me something so I can help you."
You take a deep, shaky breath and start to speak, "Pope is great. He's perfect—better than perfect. It's me; I'm the one who's changed. I just feel so uncomfortable and ashamed of myself and my life, and I feel so undeserving of everything and everyone around me." "I feel so uninteresting in everything, and my mood has been so bad. I feel so worthless and undeserving of my success, you, my friends, Pope. You pause for a second and then continue in a shy tone, "The baby."
Rafe takes a deep breath, "Have you told Pope how you've been feeling?”
"No, I haven't. I've been ignoring his calls and messages for the past few days.
“Y/N," Rafe calls your name in an admonishing tone. "You need to tell him. Does he even know where we are? Heck, does he even know that you're with me? Don't answer that."
He takes a deep breath and drags his hand down his face. "Okay, I'm getting sidetracked; I should be focused on offering help and comfort. Kid, you're not worthless. You deserve every good thing you've got and more. If anyone is undeserving, it's me."
"You're loved, and I know I don't tell you this even or at all for that matter, but I love you, sweetheart."
"Pope loves you, and that little angel that you gave birth to does as well."
"You've worked so hard for everything you've got; don't you ever again think you're worthless or be ashamed of who you are." His words cause the tears that are pooled in your eyes to trickle down to your cheeks. "Y/N, there's only so much I can tell you, but I think you need professional help; it sounds like you're dealing with postpartum depression."
"And before you deny it, just take the time to talk to the Pope and see someone. You deserve to, you understand?" You shake your head yes.
"It's kind of ironic the guy that needs to be fixed telling me to talk to someone; no, you (you enunciate the "you") need to talk to someone," you laugh. Rafe shakes his head and joins in. "You've got me there, kid."
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*Q and A Clips*
“Hey, my babies, I know I`ve been gone for a while so today I`ll be answering some of your most asked questions. I recently did a poll on Instagram where I asked you guys to send in questions to ask me,” you explain to your camera. “Okay, let`s get started. First question: How long have you and Pope been dating?” You pause to think things over and do some mental calculations. “It`s been about six years now; we started dating at 18.”
“Next one: How did you and Pope meet? We met at his dad`s business. I went there to get some fresh shrimp for a get-together my family was throwing. This was before my family threw me out and he was the one that sold me, and then he invited me to hang out with his friends and him because I was new to the area,” you detail.
“Another one: Why are you still with Pope when you could be with Rafe instead? You have enough money to be considered a Kook now,” your irritation visibly increases with each word you read. You take a deep breath to calm yourself before answering. “I`m still with Pope because I love him and you guys don`t know anything about us or our relationship. This is such a distasteful question to ask.”
“Anyways, unto this question: why do you take the Pogues everywhere you go? There was no need to take them to Brazil. It`s like they`re sponging off of your success,” you laugh as you read this comment. “I don`t know why you guys are so upset that I take my friends on trips with me. There would be no “y/nsopretty” without them. Pope was the person who brought my first and only camera. The one that I use to this day, he bought it, and we weren`t even dating at that time. JJ helped film most of my beach and surfing content. Kie did my hair and makeup. Sarah let me use her room as my backdrop because mine was a mess and a space I shared with two others. John B drove me to another state for my first ever interview with my management team,” you passionately state. So if I want to spend a few extra hundred dollars and take them to a country that they`ve always wanted to visit, so be it. My success is our success, and I`m a Pogue for life, bitch.”
“Next question: How is motherhood treating you?” You smile upon reading this question. “Oh my, it`s such a blessing and probably my biggest accomplishment. I love being a mother more than I expected. I won`t lie, the first few months were the hardest. I was in a dark place, and Rafe was the one who talked some sense into me and made me get the help I needed. I was diagnosed with postnatal depression, commonly known as postpartum depression, which was rough but not impossible to navigate.” You continue, “My therapist helped me to realise and acknowledge that dealing with postnatal depression doesn`t mean that I`m failing in any way and that it doesn`t make me less of a person or a mother. She said it`s important that I take time to rest and lean on my loved ones for help.”
“I`ve been regularly visiting my doctor, praying, and exercising. I also had to change my diet and rest. I`ve been accepting help because it does take a village, and I`m so grateful to have mine,” you say. “Pope has been my biggest supporter. He`s been at my every beck and call. He`s taken all of my anger and insults and just turned them into genuine love and concern. He hasn`t judged me or make it seem like I`m the problem in the slightest. He`s an angel. He`s been so smart and mature every aspect of my diagnosis and road to recovery,” you gush. The video progresses as you continue to answer varying questions. You end the video by listing charities and support groups that can be contacted for advice. Displayed on the screen in Times New Roman size 12 font are the following groups:
Association for Post Natal Illness (APNI) – helpline on 020 7386 0868 (10 am to 2 pm, Monday to Friday) or email [email protected]
Pre and Postnatal Depression Advice and Support (PANDAS) – helpline on 0808 196 1776 (11 am to 10 pm every day) or email [email protected]
NCT – helpline on 0300 330 0700 (9 am to 5 pm, Monday to Friday)
Mind, the mental health charity – infoline on 0300 123 3393 (9 am to 6 pm, Monday to Friday) or email [email protected]
#obx smau#pope obx#pope heyward#pope heyward x reader#pope heyward x you#pope heyward x black!reader#pope heyward smau#obx pogues#the pogues#the kooks#obx kooks
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OBX S4 P2 Spoilers
I think that they character assassinated JJ before the actually assassinated JJ
It is sad to see that he went through so much in 20 years of living and they didn’t write the character to grow from the experiences. He already had his crash out in Season 1 with the hot tub but then they did it again this season and not any better; which isn’t fair to JJ.
I knew he was gonna die as soon as he changed view point in his final scene. If he was gonna show that level of loyalty and sacrifice, then it should’ve been at the dirt bike competition where he actually talked to everyone about his plan. This way, we savoured the moment of him learning from past mistakes and we see them be a family like they always have been. Instead this season felt like solo JJ even though he was with Kiera (also any “drama” that was happening off screen should not affect what they were producing in the writers room).
JJ was my fav character but when I realized they didn’t write for the character to grow this season, it made it hard to watch for me. :/
The montage did hit home tho.
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