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andorology · 2 days ago

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Sanguinity: Chapter 4 a rebelcaptain regency au

“The Andors are finally visiting today,” her father exclaimed. He said this while he squinted through the spectacles lightly perched on his nose, eyes intent on the contents of a quick note Mr. Andor seemed to have written himself and had sent out to their address.

“About time,” remarked her mother in earnest, despite not looking up from her embroidery project. “Their visit is long overdue.”

“Took them long enough, don’t you think?” replied her husband.

Jyn had been sitting by the window when she received this news. Under her breath she muttered, “Maybe he does not want to meet us.”

“What is that, Jyn?” her mother asked over at the sofa.

“Nothing,” Jyn quickly said.

____

Jyn begins to make her intentions known to Philip, and tensions rise between her and Cassian as he and his sister Kerri visit Vallt Park to get acquainted with the Erso family.

Read Chapter 4 of Sanguinity below the cut, or check it out on ao3! Rating T.

During the previous weeks, the Ersos had enjoyed the total silence of not being called upon by anybody, but since the conclusion of the big Rook ball, where everybody was finally returning to their business as usual, it would seem that the people of the village were slowly pouring back into Vallt Park for visits of various intent.

Of these visitors were the usual ones—the family’s lawyer, Mr. Longhorn, Mr. Baze and Mr. Îmwe, the tenants of Mr. Erso’s farms, and, much to Jyn’s surprise, Philip Krennic, who had been quick to honor his owed commitment, which he accomplished just two days after the ball.

His visit took about an hour and a half, with Philip perhaps subconsciously prolonging his stay due to continuously inquiring about Mr. and Mrs. Erso’s welfare (to the pleasure of both), as well as Jyn’s own interests (an attempt at gallantry she was not depraved to even rebuff).

When the visit reached its conclusion, Philip, pulling Jyn aside as he waited for his horse to be fetched, made a show of his sincere regret in parting with her, as well as expressing his hope to see her again soon, and more often.

“Miss Erso,” he said, “I confess that I have enjoyed spending time with you. I shall like to see you some more, if you will allow me.”

Jyn, as she heard these words, thought there and then that this moment had just become a defining one, for the encouragement Philip was hoping to receive out of this felicitation, when she would give it, would finally lay down in the open her intentions of forming a relationship with him.

To her surprise, she found herself finally open to giving it, for two reasons: first, she was positively assured of his manners during the entire visit, noting particularly the behavior he not only extended to her, but to her parents as well. Jyn did not find offense in him at all—and as to his mild tendency to dispose of himself too easily to her opinion, her mother had advised her to see it as an advantage rather than something to doubt, for “was it so bad to have a husband who would readily agree with his wife?”

The second reason, which Jyn had had some more resistance against before finally relinquishing to, was that she could no longer deny the convenience of the potential union with Philip. The stars seem to have aligned perfectly for the affair—he was agreeable, she knew him well enough, he was rich, and her parents seemed to like him. Resist it as she might, she could no longer find any sensible reason to not acquiesce to these favorable circumstances.

So she decided it was time to move things along.

With a smile, she expressed, “Of course, Mr. Krennic, I shall be glad. We ought to get to know each other better now, do we not?”

It was an endorsement that seemed to work on the gentleman to great effect. Animated by its hopeful promise, Philip then committed more visits in the near future, and even proposed a leisure trip to Bath:

“I think it would do us good to breathe in some new air,” he reasoned. “And the scene is so lively there that people do not stop to rest from their merriment, even past nightfall.”

“I would have to think about it,” replied Jyn, though a part of her already obliged to the offer, for she was truly joyous at the idea of visiting the town, and maybe even dropping by the Duchess Mon Mothma, if time permitted it.

When all this had finished, she and her mother stood by the window as Philip mounted his horse to ride back to his home, Lexrul House. She would remember the remark her mother had made during that moment as they watched him slowly disappear over the small hills:

“You are doing well, Jyn.”

While Philip’s visit had been enough to stir Jyn’s spirits to states of disarray, these feelings were still incomparable to the ones she now felt, a day later, given what was about to happen:

“About time,” remarked her mother in earnest, despite not looking up from her embroidery project. “Their visit is long overdue.”

“Took them long enough, don’t you think?” replied her husband.

Jyn had been sitting by the window when she received this news. Under her breath she muttered, “Maybe he does not want to meet us.”

“What is that, Jyn?” her mother asked over at the sofa.

“Nothing,” Jyn quickly said.

Mr. Erso clapped his hands. “Well, we better get ourselves ready—we shall give them a warm welcome.”

Jyn wanted neither to get ready nor give the solicitor a warm welcome, especially since she had taken it upon herself to dislike him, after their meeting during Bodhi’s ball. She shuddered at the recollection. Why could he not fully commit to his impropriety by dropping the intention to call on them altogether? She would have preferred that. Instead he seemed to just vex her more with this attempt at courtesy.

A few hours passed; Jyn had almost hoped they would not come, and was already even expecting it, when the Andors finally arrived during the afternoon, their dark carriage coming into view from her window, passing through Vallt Park’s fields like a low-hanging, dark cloud.

In moments, she was called on to come down from her bedchamber.

As she descended the stairs, Cassian had just stepped into the house from the other end of the entrance hall.

“Mr. Andor!” exclaimed Mr. Erso, extending a hand that Cassian took politely into his.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Andor,” soon followed Mrs. Erso, giving him a curtsy, which Cassian returned with a bow.

From where she was, now at the foot of the stairs, Jyn tried to gauge the solicitor’s current disposition, noting, with contempt, the air of upright dignity he carried himself with. Had she not known the depth of his incivility, she would have found some credit in it.

As such, she did know, and so she did not.

Her movement within his periphery caught his attention; he found himself instinctively honing in on her sight; and in that moment, their eyes met. Both of them seemed to hesitate on what to do about this contact, until Cassian finally said, reservedly, “Miss Erso.”

Jyn now reached where they all stood. “Mr. Andor,” she replied, fighting to maintain a blank expression.

Mr. Erso eyed them both back and forth and smiled. “Mr. Andor, Jyn tells me here that you two have met.”

Cassian’s face pulled down into a frown, searching Jyn’s face for some indication on the kind of anecdote she had given to her parents of their introduction. Uncertain, he replied, “Has she?”

“She has,” answered Jyn herself, finding some small satisfaction in his confusion.

“She has,” confirmed her father, “but she has not really told us much about it. It perplexes me, for she has been bent on meeting you since I have told her about you—she could not stop asking about you.”

“Papa.” Jyn’s eyes threatened to fall out of their sockets. She dared not even risk a glance towards Cassian.

“Why?” asked her father. “I speak the truth.”

Jyn's face felt hot. “No you do not, Papa.”

“Well,” her father relented, though unconvinced, “I hope you had a good introduction nevertheless. I should like to hear that you two found each other well-suited for a new friendship, for I would very much like you two to be friends.”

Neither Jyn nor Cassian responded to this hope. Their eyes met again, and this time neither of them maintained it; quickly they looked away from each other, with Jyn suddenly finding the statue by the door incredibly interesting. Was that a hint of the color copper in the marble?

The following silence that filled the hall resonated so profoundly that the faint sounds of the crickets outside seemed to come through.

Mr. Erso’s brows furrowed. Doubtful, he asked again, “You two did get along well, did you not?”

Jyn’s mouth hung open, the response struggling to come out. “Er…”

Her instinct was to tell her father the truth; that upon meeting each other, she and Cassian instantly detested each other. It would be as easy as saying “No, Papa, we did not.” However, for the same reason she hadn’t told him—and her mother, too—about their introduction then, she found herself unable to again at this moment, for she did not want to add one more worry, and such a petty one at that, to the ones they were already facing.

So, with forced glee, and as though she could vomit the words, she finally said, “Of course we did, Papa. Our…our meeting was very pleasant. So pleasant that I was moved by it, even.”

She quickly stole a glance at Cassian, who had been looking at her like she had just committed a pure atrocity. Jyn deepened her glare, not backing down. Disallowing him the opportunity to betray her to her father, she went ahead and said, “Mr. Andor agrees with me. Do you not, Mr. Andor?”

Cassian’s nostrils flared at this provocation, quickly realizing what he had been set up into. He deliberated how to go about this for a brief moment; he dared not put up a pretense for the benefit of Miss Erso, but in the interest of not appearing ungrateful to the Ersos (as much as he disliked their daughter) he finally made the decision to indulge her misrepresentation of their acquaintance; helplessly, he felt himself forced to agree.

His eyes unpeeled from his adversary, he took a deep, sharp breath. “I do, yes,” he said through gritted teeth. “I found Miss Erso to be a truly amiable person of character, and I—” he cleared his throat “—I sometimes even wish that I would meet her again for the first time to experience how pleasant she is.”

Jyn could almost sigh in relief, but stopped herself.

Mr. Erso softened. He smiled. “Why, that is great to hear. I almost believed you two did not like each other.”

“Impossible,” Cassian and Jyn remarked at the same time, both feigning a smile.

With that, Cassian made sure to express his displeasure at Jyn before he turned away from her entirely. Before he could even attempt to renew the conversation with her parents, a sound from outside caught everybody’s attention. Jyn soon discovered its source—there, through the door in the courtyard, was Kerri, who seemed to struggle to grab something from their carriage.

“Er, is Miss Andor all right?” Mrs. Erso asked.

Cassian frowned. “Kerri?” he called out.

Once Kerri finally had, with an audible grunt, retrieved the object in question (which appeared to be a thick, large notebook), she finally skipped across the courtyard and fell in just beside her brother.

“My apologies,” she said with an embarrassed chuckle. “I hope I did not miss anything?”

“No, not at all,” Cassian quickly supplied. He faced the Ersos. “Mr. Erso, Mrs. Erso, this is my sister, Kerri.”

“Hello,” Kerri greeted, her face beamed up. “Please excuse me from what happened just now—I was only grabbing this.” She held the notebook up in the air.

When it seemed to only puzzle her parents, Jyn took it upon herself to say, “Are those your drawings, Miss Andor?”

Kerri nodded, a grin on her face. “Yes. I brought them so I could show them to you, in fact.”

At this, all the Ersos’ expressions finally lit up, even Jyn, who, for all her current feelings of unrest towards the person who stood just beside Kerri, was polite enough to indulge her.

“I see we have an artist,” remarked Mrs. Erso, impressed.

The pleasantries of this official, monumental introduction between the Ersos and the Andors naturally progressed into the former giving the latter a tour of the house and its surrounding grounds. Jyn and Cassian hardly acknowledged each other throughout the expedition, except for the occasional repartee to stoke the fire of their faux friendship, which was, for both of them, quite difficult to do.

By the time they had returned to their starting point, Mr. Erso finally said, “Who’s hungry? Let us have some tea, shall we?”

In the waiting room, Jyn sat down beside Kerri on the settee, directly facing her father, mother, and Cassian across the low table. Her current position paved the default of having the solicitor within her view; she had to actively turn on her seat to spare herself the sight of him.

She was already on her second cup of tea when he raised the subject of Lah’mu’s lands. And though she invested great interest in her current conversation with Kerri about paint materials, she also found herself tuning in closely to the subject.

“I was hoping to talk to you about this patch of dry land just along the estate’s border,” Cassian said. “The one by the woods.”

Mr. Erso nodded. “Ah, yes. I expected you to bring that up.”

Cassian’s expression took on a look of confusion. “It seems considerably large, yet I admit I do not know what to do with it.”

“Hmm,” Mr. Erso said, then taking a moment to think.

Jyn, however, did not. Right away, she knew what could be done to the are, which she had passed by so many times she had already memorized its landscape.

Mr. Erso spoke. “What if you—”

“You can turn it into a home farm,” Jyn quickly interjected, hardly realizing the alacrity of her manner in doing so until after the fact.

Both Cassian and Mr. Erso looked at her, somewhat blindsided by this insertion. While they did not seem offended by it, they did expect her to clarify herself.

“Pardon, Jyn?” her father said.

Jyn swallowed. “You can turn it into a farm,” she repeated. “Or a garden. Though I feel a home farm would be more appropriate.”

“A home farm?” Cassian asked, doubtful. “But it is dry dirt. The surrounding dead wood should attest to it.”

Jyn shook her head adamantly. “The patches of marigolds beg to differ.”

Cassian raised a brow. “Marigolds?”

Jyn frowned at the insinuation beneath this reply. “Yes, marigolds, Mr. Andor. They are a sure sign of soil fertility. They are everywhere on your property.”

Cassian instantly picked up on this antagonism. “I know what marigolds are, Miss Erso. But I do not remember seeing them there.”

“But I have.” Jyn shifted so that she faced him again now. Keeping the calm in her voice, she replied, “I hope you do not think I’m making a false claim.”

Cassian leaned forward in his seat. “I think I would know if I saw the marigolds, is all I am saying,” he answered, matching her tone.

“I do not doubt that you would.” Jyn shrugged. “But perhaps you just haven’t looked well enough to see. Which leads me to somehow infer that you do not actually know what marigolds are.”

Cassian grimaced. “Do you think I’m making a false claim, Miss Erso?”

“Oh no, I do not,” Jyn replied nonchalantly. “I just think you do not know.”

Cassian, clenching his jaw, did not reply.

“But do not be so hard on yourself, Mr. Andor,” Jyn continued, finding gratification from his non-response. “The marigolds are still very young, we’re very early into spring after all. Anyone can mistake them for grass.”

The air was growing palpably tense, but Mrs. Erso, insensible to the real animosity beneath this seemingly playful banter, only laughed.

“Mr. Andor, don’t you find Jyn extraordinary?” she asked Cassian. “She has been studying botany, you see. She has grown rather very knowledgeable about the subject, among many other things.”

To this Cassian responded with a dry smile. “Yes,” he said, looking at Jyn. “She has ensured that I am aware of it when we first met.”

Jyn rolled her eyes.

“Speaking of farms,” Mr. Erso brought forth, “now that you have your own estate, Mr. Andor, do you plan to step up further and purchase your own farm?”

Cassian contemplated this question. When he did not answer, Mr. Erso went on, “Because once you do, you may retire from being a solicitor, you know? Become a true member of the gentry. I hope that is something you’re considering.”

Cassian still did not reply.

“I imagine a lot of people would prefer you do it. They do not exactly like the idea of a working man earning his way to such status. I myself do not mind, but I cannot speak for others. The Krennics lean more towards the traditional—” he then shook his head “—but no, I do not think them capable of such prejudices.”

The mention of the name seemed to stir Cassian to curiosity. “You’re close with the Krennics?” he asked, though in a tone that made the statement somewhat ambiguous, as though he was stating it as a charge rather than a question.

“I would say that’s a generous way of putting it,” replied Mr. Erso. “We are civil at best; we so rarely convene, unless permitted by big assemblies, or required by matters of business. It is Jyn here, in fact, who is more connected to them through her close friend, Philip. Have you met Philip?”

Cassian met Jyn’s eyes. “I have.”

“But yes,” Mr. Erso continued, “I highly recommend you consider retirement, Mr. Andor. You ought to enjoy your comforts now that you’ve worked for it.”

“I…I shall think about it,” was all that Cassian said.

“Perhaps looking at some prospective farmlands might interest you.” Mr. Erso stood up and headed to a table by the shelves. Cassian soon followed after being beckoned; in no time, they were already poring through the paraphernalia while engaged in intent conversation.

For a while, Jyn, her mother, and Kerri kept to themselves to talk about various topics, until Mrs. Erso requested to take leave in order to finish a very important letter to some of her friends in Scotland, which she was anxious to finish today.

This left Jyn alone with Kerri. Their solitude seemed to instantly spark some excitement in her companion.

“Miss Erso,” she said, eager. “I must tell you something. I finally feel the liberty to do so, now it is just us two.”

Intrigued, Jyn answered, “What is it? Do tell me, Miss Andor.”

“All right.” The sister took a deep breath, then with a tight-lipped smile, asked, “Do you know Mr. Donwell?”

“Mr. Donwell? James Donwell? Yes, I do. I have known him for a good time now. Why?”

“Well, after we parted ways at the ball, I met him.”

From the way Kerri’s face began to redden, Jyn had a sure feeling where this was going. So she said with encouragement, “And?”

“And,” Kerri said emphatically, smiling, “we went along very well. He is an incredibly pleasant and polite man. He asked me to dance not only once, but twice, Miss Erso. Twice!”

Jyn smiled. “He did?”

“Yes.” Kerri let out a breathy laugh. “And both dances were nice; he is such a good dancer, Miss Erso.”

“Miss Andor,” Jyn began, “might I be correct in inferring that you liked Mr. Donwell?”

Kerri blushed before she gave her an affirming nod. “I confess that I cannot stop thinking about him since.”

“You seem really struck.”

Kerri looked to Jyn. “You’re right, I am. I do like him. Tell me, Miss Erso, am I stupid for feeling this way?”

Jyn shook her head, grinning. “No, not at all. Your heart has served you well, Miss Andor, for it could not have chosen a better man to feel such affections for. Mr. Donwell is incredibly kind and gentle. I think that is because of the care Sir and Mrs. Donwell have given to him; they love him terribly, and he, them. I remember once, he rode back home from Cambridge on horseback alone, when he found out Mrs. Donwell came down with a terrible flu. He refused to leave her side until her recovery.”

Kerri sank back to the settee. “My, Miss Erso. I was hoping you would say something that should sway my feelings for him for good, but you have only nurtured them further with this recommendation.”

Jyn smiled. “I hope you forgive me for disappointing you.”

Kerri buried her face in her hands. “Goodness, I feel embarrassed.”

Jyn watched her new friend begin to descend into this endless rapture of feeling, which she, if she was being truthful, had never yet felt once in her life. She wondered what it must feel like.

“Do not consider it a burden, Miss Andor,” she said. “It is a profound blessing to feel this way about someone you like. Do not attempt to push it away.”

On that note, Kerri found herself immediately consoled, if not encouraged. Then sitting back up, she said, “I’ve noticed that you and Mr. Krennic seemed really close.”

“Oh,” Jyn said, surprised. She looked down on the cup on her lap. “I suppose we are. We have been friends a long time.”

Kerri seemed to debate with herself if she should say what she was about to say. “I hope you do not mind my asking, Miss Erso, but are you planning to marry at all?”

At this point Mr. Andor and Jyn’s father had stepped away from the table and towards a shelf, bringing them back closer to where Jyn and Kerri currently sat. The distance was still considerable, however, which made Jyn believe that they did not hear, so she continued.

“Since you are so forward in your inquiry, Miss Andor,” she said, smiling, “I shall be as well in my answer.” She took a deep breath. “Yes, I do. I seek to get married.”

“And would it be with Mr. Krennic?”

Jyn found no reason to conceal the truth; she nodded. “I do not see why not. He agrees with me, and if I’m being frank, there is a big advantage to marrying him. His father, Sir Krennic, is a baron, and he is the heir—he is to inherit his estate, along with 12,000 pounds a year.”

Kerri’s mouth hung open. “I did not know he was incredibly rich!”

Jyn nodded again. “He is. I really cannot see why I should not marry him. Whatever reason I could think of…” she felt her heart rattle in her chest “...they seem to be all naught and insufficient.”

“That amount of money should be more than enough to preserve your comforts, I imagine.”

“Yes,” Jyn replied, “and maybe even a bit more.”

Kerri smiled. “It seems that things are looking out really well for your future, Miss Erso. I am glad that you are able to secure it.”

“Yes.” Jyn laughed wistfully. “I suppose I have.”

For a while both women fell in silence, the inner feelings that they felt and reflected on, so opposite from one another. It struck Jyn odd, and maybe even fascinating, that while she and Miss Andor were alike in many ways, the lives they lived were equally different in extent.

After some time, she cleared her throat. “But enough of all this talk. Your art, Miss Andor, I cannot overstate how astounding they are. The sketches you’ve shown hold so much promise to your skill.”

A rosy color surfaced to Kerri’s cheeks.

“I wonder,” Jyn continued, “if it would be too much to ask you to occasionally join me on my walks? The thing is, I like to keep a visual record of all plants I encounter, but I admit I cannot do justice to all of them. Perhaps I could inquire for your help to do some of them for me?”

Kerri’s face lit up. “Miss Erso, I would absolutely be delighted!”

Jyn’s excitement rose. “You would?”

“I would draw your entire journal for you even, if at all possible.” She held back a sound of delight, to little success. “This excites me so, for this means we can see more of each other!”

Jyn cannot help but chuckle out her own feelings of excitement. “We shall, Miss Andor. It’s time we become friends.”

So they continued their discussions on art and botany for some time. After a while Cassian and Mr. Erso joined them again, which soon signified the end of the visit.

Mrs. Erso was finally able to finish her letter-writing, just in time to bid the Andors adieu at the courtyard, where they now all stood, waiting for the carriage to arrive.

“I hope you enjoyed your visit, Mr. Andor, Miss Andor,” she said warmly.

“I did, Mrs. Erso,” replied Kerri. “You have a wonderful home.”

“Thank you,” agreed Cassian, addressing the party as a whole.

The carriage finally came around the bend, then stopped just in front of them.

Kerri turned to Jyn. “See you in a couple of days, Miss Erso?”

Jyn nodded enthusiastically. “You shall.”

The sister then gave everyone a curtsy before she finally ascended their transport.

Cassian, after having extended his goodbyes to Jyn’s parents, then faced Jyn. She saw something new in his expression, one even much graver than before, and something not even their current pretense could conceal.

Jyn’s own expression darkened. She had a sinking feeling that something had changed for the worse—she just did not know what.

“Safe travels, Mr. Andor,” she said blankly.

Cassian stared at her for a few seconds in silence before saying, “Miss Erso.”

With that he stepped into the carriage, before it finally left.

Later that night as she prepared for her slumber, Jyn finally found some answer to the question of how her relationships with both the Andors would become, given her wildly opposing sentiments for each. She had always thought it would be impossible to sustain one without forsaking the other, but she had found, during her time with Kerri, that it might be possible after all; she was beginning to understand that she did not have to get along with Cassian if she could help it, just so she could be friends with his sister.

But still, she thought about the look on Cassian’s face before they had left, which had left Jyn guessing, inquiring, pondering, more than she would care to admit.

The clarity she sought for would soon come to her, upon the arrival of an unexpected letter.

#rebelcaptain #jyn x cassian #rebelcaptain fic #rebelcaptain fanfiction #therebelcaptainnetwork #dailyrebelcaptain #my fic

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bookgeekgrrl · 5 months ago

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My media this week (9-15 Jun 2024)

actually me this week. week full of office meetings. did not like.

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

😊 Murder on the French Riviera (Miss Underhay Mystery #16) (Helena Dixon, author; Karen Cass, narrator) - Kitty & Matt do a bit of off the books espionage on the French Riviera. I find this series relaxing - it's entertaining, predictable, charming & superficial.

🥰 the warmth of your doorways (cicer) - 00Q, 384K (WIP) - fake marriage that starts as a QPP, fairly quickly becomes romantic, eventual even sexual as they both heal trauma & become domesticated; great slow burn journey to get there, never got bogged down, just took its time. Loved being in JB's POV as he slowly becomes domesticated, realizes he doesn't hate it, grapples with that, realizes he's actually in love with his husband, starts working thru & healing trauma. WIP (possibly abandoned) but honestly where it currently ends makes for a reasonably satisfactory stopping point. I liked that the author was very clear upfront that QPP aren't inferior in any way but that this is the story they wanted to tell about these characters.

💖💖 +15K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

You Were a Kindness When I Was a Stranger (DevilDoll) - TW: Sterek, 8K - another forever fave reread; a bdsm arrangement-to-lovers

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Romancing the Rainbow (with Alyssa Cole, Dominic Lim, Cat Sebastian & Rebekah Weatherspoon) [author panel hosted by Wade County Public Library]

Girls5eva - s1, e3

Thousandaires - s1, e2

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Desert Island Discs - Greg Davies, comedian

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Am I OK? is a coming-out movie for adults

Short Wave - Illegal Wildlife Trade Is Booming. What Does That Mean For The Confiscated Animals?

The Allusionist - 196. Word Play 6: Beeing

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Secret Nazi Weather Station Named Kurt

The Sporkful - Book Tour 2: How’d You Get So Good At Failure?

WikiHole - Renaissance Faires (with Thomas Lennon, Kerri Kenney-Silver and Michael Ian Black)

Here & Now Anytime - Diddy's downfall: 'Vibe Check' weighs in

Persuasion by Jane Austen - Persuasion 5. | Behind the Hedgerow

Persuasion by Jane Austen - Persuasion 6. | Lyme

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Our favorite graduation moments in pop culture

Short Wave - From The Physics Of G-Force To Weightlessness: How It Feels To Launch Into Space

⭐ Switched on Pop - Freaking out about songwriting with Nile Rodgers

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Black Cultural Archives

Persuasion by Jane Austen - Persuasion 7. | Lady Russell Returns

99% Invisible - The Los Angeles Leaf Blower Wars

Today, Explained - Was that antisemitic?

Vibe Check - We Have Different Gay Voices

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #16: Everything

Dinner’s on Me - Sarah Paulson

⭐ Slow Burn - Gays Against Briggs | Bonus Interview: Silvana & Larry

⭐ Wild Card - A rare dive into David Lynch's mind

Wild Card - David Lynch on the afterlife + Bowen Yang's childhood memento

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep16 "Everything"

Song Exploder - Crowded House "Don't Dream It's Over"

Clean Water Works - Dam Removals and the Cuyahoga's Comeback

Dear Prudence - I’m Sick of Feeling Like I’m Always the One Doing All The Work in Dating. Help!

Endless Thread - Looking for a Man, Finding a Record Deal

It's Been a Minute - Conservatives want to burn flags too; plus, the power of a singing POTUS

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Inside Out 2 And What's Making Us Happy

Short Wave - Why You Shouldn't Worry About Invasive Joro Spiders

Dinner’s on Me - Justin Long

Hit Parade - I Wanna Rock with Q. Edition

Welcome to Night Vale #250 - Father Kevin

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Disco 2024

Pop Radio • Deep cuts

Kylie Minogue

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dailyaudiobiblechronological · 1 year ago

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9/25/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription part 4

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Community Prayer Line

Good afternoon, DABC Community, this is under construction and I just wanted to say thank you to you guys for all your prayers for my new job. It will be a year in November that I have been here and things are going amazing and not only did God get my foot in the door To a major hospital in the area, but he also provided me with employment that provides tuition reimbursement, so I am now eligible. I'll be getting my first check Next payday. And then after this next term I'll be able to get another check. So I just, I thank you guys so much for your prayers. I was so stressed out and trying to find a new job and the doctors that I work for are absolutely amazing. They let me watch Procedures standing right behind them with the patient in the room, with the nurses and staff and stuff. Like I'm one of them, even though I'm not on the medical side, they are in that runs the Cath lab is awesome and is like, yeah, anytime we have something feel free to come over. Like I got just really led me into a extremely Awesome place. And so I just wanted to say thank you guys because I know that you guys were praying for me and I heard the prayer request during my time searching for a job and like he is just. I am. He is amazing. Alright guys, take care. Stay blessed.

Hey, my extraordinary DABC fam. This is Kingdom Seeker Daniel. I got a few shoutouts to give, so let me get to it. Shout out to Missus China Brown. Oh, sis you have me cracking up when you said that Then you might have responded to King Darius by saying what up, Darius?Oh, this China. Absolutely love your storytelling Wit and comedy. It is absolutely beautiful. Don't you dare change for anybody. Keep being you. Shout out to our dear Sister Kerry, AKA Jesus girl. Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for the powerful words of simplicity and prayer. Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much care I'm sure many people were encouraged to just talk to Jesus. We don't have to have all the fancy words and all that. So thank you so much sis. Shout out to Miss Inga from Denmark. Oh sis thank you for sharing your story, your bedtime prayer time with your little guy. What a sweet boy you have. That he would just want to give thanks to the Lord. Thank you so much, Chastity from Kansas, thank you so much for your prayers, for your love, for your affirmation. And please continue to pray for LOV and I because like everybody else, we feel the attack of the enemy. But we're determined to keep running the race For Jesus. And finally, what can I say about Mrs. Nicole Simone from Brooklyn? Says All I can say is thank you for that infectious joy. Keep sharing it for Jesus. I love y'all.

Hi, this is Amy calling in from Atlanta. I wanted to pray this morning for Tiffany from New York who is desperately asking for prayer for her husband Whose faith is dissipating. He's depressed. He's talking about wanting to take his life. And she was reaching out to the community, just desperate for him and all the prayers that she's prayed for him for years. And things only seem to be getting worse. So Lord, that Tiffany would not lose her faith, Lord, that she would continue praying to you God, Lord that you would pull her husband up and out of the pit that he's been in and Lord Pretty please just bring your light into the darkness that is trying to take them down. Don't let the darkness take them down, Lord. Give them hope. And I also wanted to pray for Tammy in California, who called with a praise that she is reconnecting with her daughter Sophia. So We we we praise God with you. Tammy and I just want to thank Daily Audio Bible Chronological I've only been listening for a couple of months and this is just been an amazing way for me to be faithful in reading my Bible every day and understanding understanding it. So I hope everyone has a great day and thank you.

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miaxcarmichel · 2 years ago

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Not everyone can say they’ve been to the Big Apple, but [ MIA CARMICHEL ], a [ 43 ] year-old [ FEMALE ] has lived in [ BROOKLYN ] for [ 20 YEARS]. This is the city of dreams and [ SHE ] knows it, because they came to NYC to be an [ EDITOR IN CHEIF of Lux Fashion Magazine ]. Well, that and as the [ THE ICON ]. Living in the city means they meet all kinds of people, but everyone always seems to think they look like [ KERRY WASHINGTON ]. They even got away with free cab fare once because of it!

Name: Mia Carmichel

Age: 43

Hometown: Los Angeles, California

Birth Parents: Roger and Lyra Carmichel (both deceased)

Birthday: January 12th 1979

Basic Info:

Mia is the oldest of the Carmichel siblings. The three of them were raised in a very cold and distant household. Both Roger and Lyra saw children as a check box to mark off a list. Mia was first and then five years later was her sibling. Another two years after that the last child arrived. Due to being the oldest, Mia had to take care of her siblings as her parents were always off doing something else. Having one of the countries best law firms wasn’t easy, and keeping up appearances was something they strived to do.

Mia strived to be the perfect child. All A’s in school, scholarships, and high praise from all her teachers she also participated in sports and art design. When she went to college she figured out that she wanted to work in the fashion world. Not as a model but as someone behind the scenes. And so thats what she did. She set her sights on Lux Fashion Magazine. Eventually she got hired and worked her way to the top. People thought it was a little bit of nepotism as her mother knew the owner of the magazine, but they started to realize that Mia was good at whatever role she was put in. Soon she was promoted to editor in chief.

While all this was going on, Mia met her husband. Though she loved him, she never really learned how to express her feelings. This caused a lot of tension between them as she had been taught to put career over everything. When their daughter was born, he hoped his wife would change her mindset, but she didn’t. Though Mia loved her family, she loved her job more. This ended up causing her husband to leave saying she never really cared about him in the end.

Even though Mia was crushed, she ended up throwing herself into her work to help with the hurt. Between that and worrying over her daughter she had enough to keep the emotions at bay. Her daughter wasn’t exactly following the path that Mia had wanted her to, causing Mia and her daughter to have a very strained relationship.

Connections:

Friends

Co workers

Models

Ex husband-Need to be contacted: She still has feelings for her ex and misses him. But feels like he deserves better than her emotionally unavailable ass.

Daughter: There is a skeleton bio for Mia’s daughter on the main. But i would love to be contacted and plot that out!

#enyc.intro #mia bio

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formeandmyfics · 3 years ago

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Jugenea Fic

I’LL NEVER STOP WANTING YOU

When an almost divorced, and recently dumped, Judy goes out looking for a good time at an unfamiliar nightclub, Gene refuses to let her leave with a stranger.

1943

The streets of Metro’s east lot were quiet and empty as Gene walked down the black pavement waving through a lawn between rehearsal halls. The pavement was dewy as it just finished raining and the July air was muggy, sounds of crickets filled his ears.

He had his hands in his pockets and his steps were slow. It was after nine o’clock but he wasn’t in a hurry to get to his car. In fact, he wasn’t in a hurry to get home either. Like everyone else on a Friday evening, normally he would have already been out of there, but that was when he had something exciting to get to.

Judy crossed his mind. This time last year, while filming ‘My Gal’, the two couldn’t wait to meet up at Ciro’s on a Friday evening. They would dance and laugh and have fun with friends then end the night rolling around the back seat of his car like love struck teenagers. Frequently he would get off to her BJ or she to his fingers, but rarely they’d actually make love in the vehicle. That was mostly done in their trailers at the studio where they had privacy.

Lately, the only thing he looked forward to after work was Kerry. But right now she was out east with his parents for a few weeks, letting his family spend time with her during the summer.

He had just gotten back from filming in Europe and he and Betsy seemed to be off track again. He wanted to get back on it, but his determination that he had to fix his marriage, back when they had the baby last October, just wasn’t there as much as it used to be. He didn’t even feel like going to Ciro’s. If Judy was there, he was afraid he’d slip right back into what he tried so hard to avoid to work on his marriage. But, if she ended up not being there, he knew he’d also be disappointed. She was still his friend and gave him so much joy. He missed her sense of humor.

After the new year, they ended their affair. He wanted it more than her, he could tell, but she wanted one last shot at saving her new, but defeating marriage to Dave. Shortly after, he heard about her nervous collapse on the set of ‘Girl, Crazy’ followed by three weeks of rest. Roger informed him, over coffee in the commissary one day, that it was that God-damn Busby that was the result. Gene suspected their split was a part of it as well, though he never asked her. Never had a chance.

In March they reunited to record a radio adaptation of their picture, and Judy sent him flirtatious signals that only he would recognize, but he made a point to ignore them. She remained cordial.

Four months.

He hadn’t seen her, or spoken to her, for four months. He read about her in the paper, spoke of her with mutual friends, heard her on the radio, but hadn’t seen her lovely face since then. Gene knew one thing; he was coming off a withdrawal from Judy Garland and it wasn’t fun. It was a total downer.

Gene jingled his car keys in his pocket as he could see the east parking lot up ahead, but he felt something in that moment that people rarely felt there: peace. It was the most deserted and silent he had ever heard Metro. Except for a janitor or construction worker rolling by on a golf cart, he was alone. It felt nice. He sat down on a bench outside Goldwyn Hall, a two-story brick building, named after one of the studio’s founding fathers. Upstairs were vocal rehearsal rooms and downstairs were songwriter and lyricist's offices. Gene had spent a lot of time in that building when he first came to Metro last year.

After Gene sat down, he bent his head forward, as he rested his elbows on his knees, and spun his keys around his finger. But, an echo of music started playing behind him. It was piano. He quickly grasped his keys to silence them when he heard Judy’s voice. His first initial reaction was that someone had the radio on or was playing back a recording, but her voice went from faint then got stronger.

Gene lifted his head when he heard her stop, then start over again. That was her. He turned around on the bench and looked up at the second story window that was open and the light was on. He felt his heart flutter when he realized she was up there. Gene double checked his watch. She wasn’t working this late was she? Maybe with Roger? His office was downstairs. Curious, but also failing to stop the urge to see her again, he got up and walked inside.

Judy was sitting alone at the piano in one of the small rehearsal rooms, her beautiful and distinctive voice bouncing off of every corner, as she sang, and played, ‘But Not For Me’.

Gene was leaning his shoulder on the wall, behind the see-through, glass door as he watched her. Even though the door was shut, he could still clearly hear her. She was lost in the song, playing by heart, singing with certain expressions; it was as if she were still in front of the cameras.

When Judy mindlessly glanced up, she did a double take, seeing him. Through the sound of music, she could suddenly hear her own heartbeat thudding. She was surprised to see him, but at the same time, wasn’t. He tended to show up at places like this, at the strangest of times. She noted how handsome, and relaxed he looked leaning there behind the glass watching her.

She genuinely smiled through a lyric acknowledging him. Her voice didn’t falter nor did the keys.

He had been spotted, Gene thought, and he pulled the door open. She continued the song, her eyes following him as he slowly walked over to the piano. He seemed so shy that his steps were careless, his heels scuffling against the floor.

Leaning his elbows on the piano his eyes didn’t quite catch hers as he listened. Instead, he glanced at the music on top of the piano. He knew she couldn’t read a note of music, that’s why she wasn’t using it. She had this uncanny way of knowing how to sing a song, and play it on piano, once hearing the melody only once, twice at most. Something only he, and a very few others knew, was that she played the piano. She refused to have that small pleasure taken away to be a money making venture.

When her fingers played the last few notes of her current song, she kept her eyes glued on Gene who looked a little melancholy, tapping his pointed finger against the sheet music, obviously lost in his thoughts. It made her feel a little uneasy, and sad, so she purposely started playing the beginning to ‘For Me and My Gal’. Gene instantly smiled before looking over at her. She smiled back.

“Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong...” she sang the opening verse.

“Do you hear the bells go ding dong,” he chimed while singing with her.

They both chuckled and she stopped playing as she sat on the bench next to her.

“How are you, darling,” she asked.

“Oh, just swell. You?”

“Oh, life’s just a bowl of cherries.”

She sounded cheery, but he knew her comment was more sarcastic. He had read about her separation from her husband and that she had just recently moved into a house up in Bel Air. He also heard about her short-lived affair with Joe Mackiewicz out in Palm Springs where she had filmed the rest of her Mickey picture. Rumor was that married Mackiewicz just wanted fun but Judy wanted more. Gene didn’t usually pay much attention to gossip, but this time he had a feeling it was true. It could almost be the same thing that happened to them, though Gene didn’t just see her as a piece of ass, like he was sure a man like Joe did, Gene had fallen for her; mind, body and soul.

“What are you doing up here all alone, toots?”

“I have a radio show tomorrow night to promote ‘Girl, Crazy’. I was just going over a few songs. What about you? You’re never at the studio this late.”

“I was doing some post-ADR for my picture. Then got caught up in a choreography session for a film I might do for Columbia in a few months.”

“Columbia,” Judy said shocked, “I’m surprised Mr. Mayer is letting them borrow you.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because studios usually don’t like to hand out their big stars.”

“I’m no Gable, sweetheart.”

“Yet,” she emphasized confidently, with her finger up, “Each film you’ve done so far has been big box office draws and you’ve gotten raves in the papers.”

“Yeah, all three of them,” he rolled his eyes, “Our film was a hit because of you, baby, and ‘Pilot #5’ egh, first dramatic role, wasn’t too great in it. And you know ‘DuBarry’ was all Red and Lucy Ball.”

“That isn’t true.”

“It is. When ‘Thousands Cheer’ comes out I’m sure it will be a hit because, as you know, it’s a star-studded film. I’m sure this war film I just finished will be better than the first dramatic film I did, we’ll see.”

Judy stared at him not believing her ears and he sat there so casually.

“Gene,” she said quite sternly.

“Huh?”

“You know, you’re making me a little angry,” she giggled but was serious.

“Why,” he chuckled back.

“You really need to give yourself more credit.”

“I don’t care about any of that stuff, Judy. I just want to choreograph and dance and work with other great actors. Reviews and box office draws don’t mean a thing to me.”

“Let me ask you something. If our film sank, after how hard we worked on it, wouldn’t you have been disappointed?”

“No, because it brought me to you,” he said smiling cheekily.

She laughed, “I’m serious. Put me out of the equation.”

“Impossible,” he interrupted.

“Really, though. Darling, when you’re passionate about a film, when you really believe in it, and you worked your butt off, and you want it to be something great, and then it tanks, it can be really disheartening.”

“You sound like you’ve been through this before.”

She nodded, “‘Wizard of Oz’. You don’t know how long I worked on that film. It was fun but really hard. By the end, I just knew we had something great. Then when I went to see it, and it didn’t have the reaction we all hoped, it kinda broke my heart. I always thought that it was me, that it would have done better if they had stuck with Shirley.”

“Shirley who?”

“Temple.”

“Get out of here.”

“Mm hm. They were juggling us back and forth but Fox wouldn’t let Shirley go back then.”

“She’s a sweetie pie, but she’s a baby actor and dancer, not a singer. ‘Over the Rainbow’,” he gave her a silly look showing her that it was destined to be a Judy Garland song only, “Please.”

Judy giggled, “See. And that’s what always wins...music. Even if a film doesn’t do well, or the story is not that great, a good musical number or song will always be remembered. Rainbow is mine. What will be yours?”

Gene looked at her taken back a bit, though he wasn’t all surprised. She always came off beyond wise for her years.

“I will always take pride in my dancing. I did the same on Broadway.”

“Ok. And hold onto that, because your dancing, or a particular musical number of yours, will be the heart of even the worst of films,” she teased. “It only takes 2 minutes of you tap dancing like you did in ‘DuBarry’ that will be remembered out of a 90 minute film. Be proud of it and don’t hold yourself short. And if you find yourself disappointed, that means you’re passionate about it, and that’s ok, too.”

Gene looked at her slyly and pressed a few keys on the piano, his ego shooting through the roof.

“My biggest fan.”

Judy wrapped her arms around his bicep and leaned her cheek against his shoulder, “Are you mine?”

Gene stiffened a bit. Her question was bouncing from his statement, but her voice suggested something entirely different.

“You know I’ll always be your biggest fan, Judy. Always gonna stand by and root for ya, honey.”

“I’ve missed you,” she said sweetly, raising her head to rest her chin on his shoulder now, staring at the side of him as he looked away from her angelic face.

“I know. I’ve been busy with work. I’ve been out promoting the last film and then I was across the pond filming ‘Cross of Lorraine’. I just got back last week. I haven’t even been out to any clubs. I know you were filming out on location, too.”

Judy’s face dropped a bit, “That’s not what I meant.”

He sighed, “No, I didn’t think so.”

“Haven’t you missed me?”

“I’ve missed my best friend.”

“That’s all?”

“Yes. I can’t cross that line.”

“What line,” she asked annoyed.

“The line you’re on, baby,” he said looking back at her trying to make his point clear without hurting her feelings. But, it was already too late.

Judy slid her arms from his and sat up straight. She tried to distract herself as she played some keys, pretending to get back to rehearsing. Gene also read her point cloud and clear.

“I’m glad I got to see you again. I’ll tell ya one thing,” he said reaching under her chin to have her look up at him, “I’ve missed that face.”

Judy just blinked, no expression present, but he could read her eyes, she was upset. But she had to get over it, over him.

“Go home and get some rest.”

“It’s lonely there, you know.”

“Then distract yourself. Go out with some friends, go to Ciro’s. You love that and you don’t have to be here tomorrow.”

Judy brushed his hand off of her and went back to playing.

Gene was silent a moment before he leaned down and kissed her cheek, “Good night.

When the door shut behind him, Judy pound her hands on the keys and stood up, “Fine. I will go out. I’m going to go out and find a man who will actually want me,” she said to herself as she collected her purse.

Gene pulled up at a red light on Venice Boulevard, his head and his heart in an emotional battle, when he heard a honk. Looking over, his buddy Van Johnson was smiling, motioning for him to roll his window down. Gene smiled back, and leaned far over to roll the passenger side down.

"Hey buddy," Van said cheerfully.

"What are you doing out in this part of town this late? You're usually out hob-knobbing on Friday nights."

"Had a late dinner with Evie and a couple of her girlfriends. She wanted to stay, so I high-tailed it out of there."

Gene looked ahead making sure the light was still red, "Too much cock in the hen house?"

"Exactly. What are you doing out this way?"

"Just left the studio," Gene motioned behind him, where the studio stood a few minutes back.

"This late?" Gene nodded and Van continued, "Damn. Well, you got any plans?”

"Nope."

"You wanna go out and have a few?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. But let's do one of the joints on Melrose. I don't feel like swinging with Hollywood tonight."

The light turned green so they quickly ended their conversation.

"How about Blue Martini, Melrose and La Cienega?"

"I gotta go home and change first. I'll meet you there," Gene shouted as they started rolling as cars honked behind both of them.

He chuckled when he saw Van, in his rearview mirror, throw his hand out the window at the car behind him.

When Gene arrived home, the house was dark and quiet. Upstairs, Betsy was curled in bed with a book and the radio going next to her.

"Hi."

"Hi. You're home late."

"I know. I stayed and worked on some ideas for that 'Cover Girl' picture coming up. And I ran into Judy when I was leaving," he said casually as he started to unbutton his shirt.

"Oh yeah? How's she doing," Betsy asked a bit uninterested as she continued to read her suspense book.

"Fine. Didn't talk too long. She just got back from filming on location, too."

"I'm surprised you didn't catch up with her. You haven't seen her for a while, right," Betsy said now placing the book in her lap, "You two became good friends back on your picture. Maybe we can arrange to all have dinner sometime."

Gene froze for a moment before walking into the walk-in closet. He had mentioned Judy casually, to keep it unsuspecting, but now the conversation was going further than he meant.

Speaking up from the closet he changed the subject real fast, "Van pulled up next to me at a red light. Invited me out for a few drinks right now," he poked his head out, "I know you're all comfy, but do you want to come with me?"

"No, thanks," she said smiling sheepishly as she snuggled further into bed to hint to him that she was very comfy, "But you go ahead."

Gene leaned back and raised his eyebrows to himself as he picked out a fresh dress shirt. He wasn't surprised at her response. She rarely liked to go out lately, not since they moved to Los Angeles. He understood at first. Perhaps she was shy. He was always able to persuade her then though. Then pregnancy happened, then the baby was born. He understood that as well. But Kerry was nine months old now. His wife could at least try but she got way too comfortable being a homebody while Gene enjoyed the nightlife.

June Allyson held hands with Judy as she led her through the crowded nightclub called the Blue Martini on Melrose not too far from Paramount Studios. Judy knew most of her pals were at The Player’s Club or Ciro’s or another joint on the Sunset Strip. She wanted to go out and have a night of flirtatious fun with someone she didn’t know. Judy knew if she were to go to Ciro’s, as Gene suggested, which was one of her favorite places, then word would get back to Mr. Mayer of her indiscretions and she didn’t feel like spending Monday morning in his office getting another talking to.

Judy didn’t want to show up somewhere alone, and she didn’t know many other bars, so she didn’t want to end up in some dive. She had to think of someone whom she trusted that would know where to go. That brought her to her new friend, June. She was new to Metro and had a small part in ‘Girl, Crazy’. They had hit it off right away. June had the same sense of humor as Judy. And even though on the outside she was the ‘girl next door’, June had street smarts from working on Broadway and living alone in New York. Judy, of course, didn’t know June well enough to tell her of her goal for the night; to have a one-night stand, or at least a good time with a handsome stranger. But, June knew exactly where to go. She described the club as a little jazz gem away from the high-ballers. That’s exactly what Judy wanted.

The club was much smaller than the other places she was used to, but it was still charming, and sexy. The smoke-filled nightclub had an ambience of blue lighting and there was a gorgeous, lit up fountain in the middle of the club.

Judy looked around as June led her swiftly towards a free table over by the bar. She passed many people, ones she didn’t recognize, but they still had an elegant look to them which relaxed her a bit. She definitely was not in some drunkard’s dive.

As they passed a booth of men in suites talking over Brandy, Judy caught a man’s eye. He smiled and looked her up and down as she was rushed by. Judy had just enough time to glance back at him over her shoulder smiling back. She wasn’t sure if he recognized her or not, but she didn’t care at that point. She was already ahead of her goal and he was very handsome.

“Thank goodness we got a table, it’s almost standing room only,” June said sitting down.

“This is great. Where on earth did you find this place?”

“I came here with Lucy a few months ago when we were filming ‘Best Foot Forward’. Her husband was playing here with his band for a few weeks during ‘Rumba’ night. I thought it was a cute place.”

“It’s just what I needed. And look, no cameras going off in your face.”

“That must be hard, to try to have a good time and then you have cameramen running up to you.”

“I really don’t mind it all that much. I guess I’ve gotten used to it, but tonight I wanted to be away from all that. You, darling, will soon find out what it feels like.”

“I’ll be on my way up, that’s what they tell me. I don’t mind though, you know? I’m just happy to be here at the studio working. And,” June said, reaching over to grab Judy’s hand warmly, “To have made friends with you.”

“Me, too. You’re a doll.”

“Cocktails, ladies,” a waitress in a sleek, black uniform asked.

“A glass of red Cabernet for me, please.”

“Top shelf whiskey sour.”

“You got it.”

Chatter filled the nightclub as the band went on break. Judy looked back over her shoulder at the table. She saw the man look at her but he was immersed in his conversation in the booth. She decided to let some cocktails sink in, and music come back, before she got more courage to continue her quest.

“I heard from Arthur that he wants L.B. to put you on contract, that’s a sure thing of being on your way up.”

“He’s talking about having me star in some film with Van Johnson. Until then, I'm still doing my side parts, but I've met so many greats. I really don’t care if I climb up or not. I do hope maybe one day we can work together.”

“I would love that. I would love to sing with you. You sound like a bell.”

“Me,” June sarcastically said, pointing to herself reminding them of who just made that compliment. Both ladies giggled.

“I swear, between you and Gene, it’s like you have no confidence in your talent.”

“Gene?”

“Kelly. Have you met him yet?”

“Not yet. I’ve seen your picture though. It was swell and looked like fun.”

“It was a lot of fun. That was his first picture, you know.”

“I know. I heard that you helped him get it.”

“I wanted him for it and I’m glad the studio listened. His talent is beyond amazing, June, it really is. And we became very good friends.”

“Oh, I could tell that. I would see you two hanging out together outside your sound stages in between takes. I think you were both doing separate films. Ya, he was doing a film with Lucy.”

“Yah. You should have come hung out with us.”

“I didn’t want to intrude. Besides, I was still so new and shy. I’d see you and duck into a stairwell.”

“Oh, stop,” Judy laughed. “You know, Gene was just talking to me earlier about not caring if he gets ahead, all he wants to do is dance and work.”

“I suppose that’s what being green in this industry is all about.”

“Here you are, ladies.”

“Thank you.”

June held up her glass, “To being green.”

“But having confidence in your talent,” Judy said back and the girls clinked glasses before sipping.

June made a noise as she sipped and quickly took her glass away from her lips, “Speak of the devil.”

“What?”

“Gene Kelly just walked in.”

Judy giggled, wiping her pink-polished fingers on her cocktail napkin to rid the wetness of her glass’s condensation. Clearly, June was teasing.

“Van Johnson is with him, too.”

Judy’s eyes widened as she looked up at June, who stared over her shoulder with curious eyes taking another sip of her wine.

“No, they aren’t,” Judy mumbled to herself and turned to look herself.

Yes, they were.

Judy watched as the men figured out where to go in the crowded room. She turned back around and closed her eyes. After Gene’s rejection, he was the last person she wanted to see right now.

“Want to go say hi?”

“You know, I- I’m sure they came here for the same reason we did...to not be bothered. Let’s just leave them alone.”

“Too late, honey, Van’s pointed at us,” she lowered her voice in a deep undertone to be playful, “You’ve been spotted.”

Gene was steps behind Van as he bee lined for the small table for two where Judy sat with a woman that he kind of recognized. He was a bit shell-shocked to see Judy at this joint and it showed plain as day on his face.

“Hiya sweet cheeks,” Van said as he made no hesitation in cuddling Judy hard from the side, to where her chair even scooted with the force of the embrace, and he planted a big kiss on her cheek.

She giggled, and glanced up at Gene, a smile on her face, but she didn’t look too thrilled. Gene could see that.

“You know my buddy here,” Van said sarcastically introducing Gene to Judy.

“Clark Gable,” Gene replied, “I think we’ve met once or twice before,” he replied just as sarcastically.

“I don’t recall,” she said a bit cattily, smiling and batting her lashes.

Gene’s smile dropped but June spoke up, “And I do recall that I haven't met you yet, Mr. Kelly.”

Gene turned his attention to June, “And who might you be, my dear?”

“June Allyson,” Van replied, “Up and rising star at our alma mater. And hopefully my next leading lady.”

“Hopefully.”

“Yes, I’ve seen you around the lot. How do you do, Miss Allyson?”

“June.”

“Then it’s Gene to you.”

“I was just telling Judy how wonderful I thought your film was.”

“Which film is that?”

He shot Judy a look at his intentional remark and it was Judy’s turn to look at Gene sans smile.

Judy perched her lips irritated before nearly speaking through her teeth, a forced smile plastered, “The one we did together, darling.”

“Oh, yes. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Van, buddy, how about we head to the bar? There’s two seats at the end.”

“Ladies, would you like some company? Two women alone in the bar calls for two gentleman callers.”

“Unfortunately, this is a table for two, sweetie,” Judy replied sweetly.

“There’s always our laps,” Van winked.

Judy nervously scratched her neck and chuckled, turning red. She knew which lap she’d end up on and was afraid Gene would push her off.

“And where is Evie,” June asked, mischievously bringing up his girlfriend’s name.

“Hey, I can look but not touch right?”

“Down boy,” Gene said, grabbing Van’s bicep, “I think we might’ve intruded on girl’s night.”

“Then I shall bow out gracefully.”

“Thank you,” Judy said, smiling genuinely and accepted a peck on the lips from her friend.

After Van kissed Judy goodbye, he gave June’s hand a kiss and followed Gene to the bar.

As time went by, even though Judy could feel Gene’s eyes on her, she refused to turn to look at him. Luckily, a few of Van’s friends showed up and the five of the men got lost in conversation, taking Gene’s attention away from her. At one point, Judy could even hear Gene’s laughter from across the way as the men got rowdy.

June and Judy got lost in gossip and anecdotes and enjoyed each other's company along with the live music.

After the waitress put down another fresh drink for Judy, June smiled sheepishly as she just took the last sip of her 2nd glass of wine.

“How are you feeling?”

“Mm, good. How about you?”

“Fine, but I’m not the one drinking my cocktails like water.”

Judy blushed, “They’re good.”

June giggled. She knew well enough that Judy Garland wasn’t an alcoholic. She just needed a well-deserved night off, but June decided that they’d probably be best taking a cab home instead of Judy’s personal chauffeur who had dropped them off. June was still new to this side of business, and didn’t know if she could trust him. Last thing Judy needed was word to get out from her driver that MGM’s ‘it’ girl got inebriated.

Judy looked over at the booth, where the man she first made eyes with was, but he was no longer there. She didn’t notice Gene looking at her as she leaned far back in her chair to look past his group. Curious, he looked behind him to see what or who she was looking at.

Seeing that booth now vacant, Judy decided she’d have to find someone else to flirt with, but first was going to freshen up.

“I’m going to use the washroom,” she said standing up, “I’ll be right back.”

Before June could even respond, Judy lost her balance a bit and June quickly grabbed Judy’s arm and the table that wobbled. Judy found it hilarious as she steadied herself, her infectious laugh louder than anyone else’s in the room.

Her laugh even got Gene’s attention as he watched her walk away from the table. Catching eyes with June, she made a funny drinking motion to tell him Judy was ok but drank too much. He sighed heavily through his nose giving her a nod in acknowledgement.

Judy returned a few minutes later and tried to sit down elegantly, but ended up wobbling the table again.

“Oops.”

“Have you eaten anything?”

“No.”

“I’ll order an appetizer. You gotta eat when you drink.”

“Yes, mother,” she giggled, “I didn’t realize how fast it hit me until I went to the bathroom.”

“That’s usually how it happens.”

“See any cute men walk by while I was gone?”

“I haven’t really paid attention. Why? Are you looking?”

“Maybe,” Judy said back innocently.

Just then they heard a male’s voice next to them, “Sorry to intrude…”

Judy and June both looked up to find the same man that had made eyes at Judy earlier. Judy was pleasantly surprised. He looked to be in his 30's, was tall, great posture, with dark blonde hair and a pearly white smile.

“I don’t normally do this, but Miss Garland, would you mind terribly if I asked for an autograph?”

That answered Judy’s question whether he had recognized her or not.

“I’d love to.”

He handed her a pen and grabbed a clean cocktail napkin on their table sliding it in front of her.

She smiled amused, “Is it for anyone in particular?”

“Myself. Just your name is fine.”

After signing, Judy handed it back to him.

“Lovely,” he said looking at her beautiful signature and folded it up putting it in his pocket, “My name is Tom, but I just used this as an excuse to come over and talk to you especially since we noticed one another when you walked in.”

Judy smiled flirtatiously, very amused now at his frankness. June saw the look on Judy’s face, she tried to suppress her giggle.

“I don’t mind. But I am curious as to why it took you so long to come over.”

The man’s smile widened, his eyes sparkling back, and June cleared her throat.

“I’m going to see what the boys are up to,” she said, grabbing her wine glass.

“Miss,” he said as June smiled at Judy and slipped on by them.

Tom immediately sat down in her seat without asking, “I, ah, I hope your friend doesn’t mind.”

“She doesn’t,” Judy said leaning her chin on her hands, “She can tell I’m interested.”

Judy was never this brave off the bat but the alcohol was helping tremendously and she wanted to have fun. Not only that, she was more confident knowing the man was interested back and her body craved attention.

“Are you now,” he said, his ego boosted.

“Mm hm. You’re very handsome, you know.”

“Well, I always thought you were cute on screen, but you’re even more beautiful in person.”

“Thank you.”

“I mean it. You’re a dish,” his eyes seductively eyed her up and down, “How about another drink?”

“I really shouldn’t,” she said in her most adorable voice. It was definitely an act, but it never failed to get her what she wanted, “I’m already quite tipsy.”

“I see no problem with that, honey,” he said back suggestively. To others, the comment would be seen as a red flag, but it flew right over Judy’s intoxicated head.

“I’ll finish this drink and start drinking water. So, Tom, what do you do?”

“I’m a lawyer downtown. But work-talk is boring.”

“Oh, good. I despise small talk.”

“Then ask me something interesting.”

“Mm, are you single?”

He leaned forward on his elbows like she was, “I am...currently. You?”

“Uh...currently.”

“Maybe we can change that.”

“Yeah,” she asked intrigued, thinking they could possibly go to another nightclub alone, “Well, what are you doing after this?”

“Hopefully I’m looking at it.”

Judy looked at him a little taken back but she was definitely not displeased nor insulted.

“How about a dance, sugar?”

“I’d love it,” she replied and took his hand.

She was lightheaded but feeling very good and let him guide her to the dance floor where other couples were currently slow dancing.

Gene’s eyes stayed glued on Judy and the man as they embraced closely on the dancefloor as everyone around him were rowdy and took no notice. They were too close for Gene’s comfort, especially since he didn't recognize the man. By now, he had become accustomed to all her mutual friends.

“June,” Gene asked as her back was turned to him while she spoke with Van.

“Hm?”

“Who is that dancing with Judy?”

“I don’t know. He came up asking for an autograph just so he could talk to her. That’s why I came over here. They were pretty flirty.”

Gene watched them intently. He could definitely see Judy was not uncomfortable in his arms, but she was drunk. The man knew that, too, and he was sure that he was using it to his advantage.

When the third dance started, their faces were inches apart as they spoke. Gene was becoming more alert and more worked up. He didn’t care if Judy was coming onto the man, it wasn’t right. She was under the influence, feeling vulnerable, not to mention she was a famous celebrity. She couldn’t just go around with random men. It would get her into trouble, in more ways than one. He wasn’t thinking as a jealous ex-lover, he was thinking as her best friend.

When Judy slipped her arms around the guy's neck suggestively as their hips slowly swayed, his hand slid down her ass, cupping the bottom of it. When she didn’t move his hand away, Gene placed his glass on the bar with a loud thump. It was so loud that it got June’s attention. She looked to where Gene was staring.

Gene didn’t even notice June until he saw her walk up to Judy.

“Judy,” June asked, tapping Judy’s back.

The couple turned to her but remained in their stance.

“Hm?”

“Can I talk to you for a moment,” June politely looked at the man, “Sorry.”

Tom didn’t falter and looked down at Judy completely turned on.

“Is it an emergency,” Judy asked concerned.

“No.”

“Well, then, as you can see I’m a little busy right now, darling,” she said, placing her hand on the man’s chest as they started twirling again, “I’ll talk to you later…” she then gave a slurred giggle, “...or more like tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” the man agreed.

As an irritated June walked back towards the bar she mumbled, “Should’ve lied and said it was an emergency.”

Gene was paying his bill when June came back up to him.

“Gene, uh, I know we don’t know each other, but we’re both Judy’s friends, and I have to tell you, I don’t like what’s going on over there.”

“No,” he simply said, agreeing, as he threw down a hefty tip on the edge of the bar for the bartender.

“I realize she’s a grown woman, and separated from her husband, but she’s had too much to drink, you know? She’s not thinking straight.”

“Yep,” he said, as it was nothing new to what had already gone through his mind, “What did she say when you went over?”

“Didn’t want to talk to me. They seem pretty intent on leaving together and I don’t think it’s a good idea especially in her state. What if she regrets it or something bad happens?”

“Nothing’s going to happen.”

“It won’t?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not going to let it. She’s too good a friend of mine for me to let her leave with some guy she doesn’t know. Plus,” he emphasized, “she’s Judy Garland.”

“That was my thought, too,” June looked over to the dance floor and didn’t see them. She looked at their table which was still empty, “Gene, where did they go?”

Gene quickly looked around and didn’t see them either. When he whipped his body towards the door, it was just enough time for him to see them exit holding hands.

“Oh, nope,” he said sternly as he grabbed his fedora, “Nope.”

June watched as she saw Gene swiftly head towards the door.

Gene didn’t see them when he first walked out the doors but he heard her loud laugh echo from around the corner and his steps became longer and faster. When he turned the corner, he saw Judy wobble on her heels but the man laughed with her and secured an arm around her waist. Tom reached down, giving her a kiss on the cheek as they headed towards a black Cadillac.

That son-of-a-bitch, Gene thought as his steps became angry the closer he got to them. Before he knew it, he grabbed Judy's free hand.

“Thanks,” he said to the other man as he started pulling her away, but Judy quickly resisted.

“Gene, what are you doing?”

Her horrified voice made Tom quickly grab her again around the waist to hold her back to him and she didn’t resist him.

“You’re coming with me,” Gene stated calmly.

“I am what,” she laughed ridiculously.

“Who is this joker,” Tom asked her, not recognizing him.

“It’s alright, Tom. He’s a friend of mine,” Judy looked at Gene angrily, “And if he doesn’t back off, he won’t be any longer.”

Gene didn’t falter, “Judy, let’s go.”

“I am going. I’m going with my new friend here.”

“Going to do what?”

“I don’t think that is any of your business.”

“It’s definitely not his business,” Tom added.

“Would you really like to know, Gene,” she said with that intentional voice of hers, egging him on.

“Oh, yeah?” Gene asked and took a step towards her, challenging her and his voice came out disgusted, “I bet you don’t even know his last name.”

Even through glassy eyes, she suddenly showed guilt, and was quiet.

“Look, back off, Bud. She’s a big girl.”

Gene’s eyes didn’t leave Judy’s but she looked down almost ashamed and he spoke sternly but calmly, “Judy.”

“Don’t worry, Daddy, I’ll make sure she gets home safely,” Tom chuckled.

Judy had looked up at Gene with that last comment, and her expression showed horror. Even with the extremely fuzzy effects of the alcohol, she knew that to Gene those were fighting words.

Gene chuckled back, but then he took a step aside ready to fight, but Judy quickly placed her hands on his chest.

“Gene,” she pleaded.

“Come on, babe, let's go,” Tom said and turned to walk to his car.

“She’s not a *babe*, asshole, she’s a lady. Let’s go,” Gene suddenly bent down and swooped Judy over his shoulder. She gasped and held onto his back as he started walking them the other direction.

“Gene! PUT ME DOWN! GENE!”

He ignored her yells and her fists on his back, but when she suddenly kicked, her stiletto got a little too close.

“Judy, for Christ sakes, you almost kicked me in the head.”

He turned the corner back in front of the club where his car was parking in front and immediately saw June and Van run out.

“I should kick you in the balls for ruining my night,” Judy spat back.

“Van, open the back door of my car, will ya.”

Van seemed amused as he did what he was told. Gene set Judy down and tried to put her in the back seat but she again resisted.

“Get in there.”

“I’m not going in there. I came with June.”

“Judy, dammit, you’re testing my patience. Now, get in the goddamn back seat before I throw you in.”

Judy knew he was serious, but she still protested, “I swear, if you do this Gene, never come crawling back to me again. I mean it, we’re over for good. And we’re no longer friends either!”

“Crawling back to her,” Van asked, confused as hell.

Gene’s eyes widened at her before he turned around to face the confused pair, “I have no idea what gibberish she’s talking about. The booze has obviously made her mentally and verbally unstable.”

Judy shrieked insulted.

“Now GET IN THERE!”

“ALRIGHT,” she screeched back shocked from his angry yell at her and she went into the backseat.

Gene slammed the door before turning back to his friends exhausted.

“I’ll give Junie a ride home. Don’t worry about it,” Van said.

“Here. This is hers,” June smiled and handed him Judy’s small purse.

Gene looked at it and nodded before walking around to the drivers side. He tossed the purse in the backseat carelessly, almost hitting her, as he got in.

“Hey!”

Van and June both smiled as they heard Judy yell through the closed windows and then they watched them drive off.

The car was silent, not even the radio was on, as Gene’s eyes met hers though the rearview mirror as he rolled up to the first red light.

“You realize you almost ratted us out back there?”

Judy whimpered as she readjusted herself in the backseat, leaning her head back, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Van and June. You nearly told them about us.”

“We’re not together anymore. Who cares,” she said in a slurred speech.

“I care. You may not be with your husband anymore, but my wife would also care. Oh, she’d care a lot.”

“THEN GO HOME TO HER,” Judy suddenly yelled as she sat up with determination. It was obviously a sore spot.

“Would you lower your voice? Geez,” he said, wiggling his finger in his ear.

“Slow down,” she said leaning her head back again, “I’m dizzy. Better yet, just drop me off here. Then you can go back to your marriage.”

“Drop you off,” he chuckled, “on the corner of Melrose. I’m sorry, honey, but you don’t fit in with the prostitutes. And I’m not going back to my ‘marriage’ as you call it, until I know you’re ok.”

“You might want to rephrase that, Gene,” she said sadly.

He realized what he said and sighed, “What I meant to say was…”

“I know what you meant,” she replied, knowing he wouldn’t go back home until she was home herself.

When they arrived at her home in Bel Air, Judy was fast asleep. After he opened the passenger door, he stared at her angelic face for a moment. She sure was a spit fire, but right now she looked like such an innocent child. It was the same when he had stared at her asleep in his arms after they had just had a naughty and solicitous encounter or had one of their amusing arguments. So many emotions were running through him.

He got her keys out of her purse before lifting her in his arms. With a bit of a struggle, he did manage to get them both inside, but it wasn’t easy with her near flaccid body hanging off of him. Gene stood there a moment. He knew where she lived but he had never been inside before. It was charming.

Once he got up the stairs, he headed straight into the first bedroom he came upon but stopped short. That wasn’t her room, he thought. It was fully furnished, but it didn’t seem like her. Figuring it was a guest room, he kept going down the hall. He walked past a bathroom and an office before heading straight for the open double doors at the end of the hall.

Oh, yes, this definitely was her room. The bed was large and opulent, with one of her slips laying in the middle of the floor and a chiffon scarf over her vanity’s mirror. It even smelled like her perfume.

After laying Judy on her bed, he carefully slipped off her slip on stilettos.

“Where am I,” she mumbled very sleepily.

“You’re home, in your bed,” he said as he walked over to set her Chanel shoes on the dresser. One, he knew how much she took care of her designer pieces, and two he didn’t want her to trip over them if she were to drunkenly wander out of bed. Last thing he needed was her to fall and hit her head on the dresser.

When he turned back around he saw her half sitting up trying to reach for the back of her zipper, but her movements were lazy and she couldn’t reach. He walked on over and unzipped the dress for her and helped her out of it. After it was off, wearing a two-piece white silk camisole and nude thigh high stockings, she fell back on the bed happy to go back to sleep.

Gene proceeded to cover her with a throw that was on the end of her bed, but she kicked it off.

“You need to lay on your side, sweetheart. Can you do that for me?”

Judy moaned, the skin between her eyes wrinkling in dissatisfaction, as he pulled her shoulder so she was on her side.

“Why?”

“Because if you get sick, you can choke.”

“Mmm, that’s all anyone needs to see...” she mumbled, arranging herself on her side, “...Louis B. Mayer’s ‘Darling Judy’ puking her brains out.”

Gene chuckled as he went into the master bedroom to get a glass of water for her, and a few aspirin. Setting it next to her, he looked around making sure everything was in order before he left.

“There’s water right here, Judy, if you need it, and aspirin. Do you need anything else before I go?”

“Don’t go, please.”

“You’re safe and sound in your bed now. Just get some sleep.”

“Please,” she said with her eyes closed and reached her hand up in the air for him. He took it in both his hands.

It was a moment before she spoke half-asleep, “My husband stopped wanting me, I was just a summer fling to Joe and Gene doesn't want me anymore. I miss him, doesn't he realize that?”

"Honey, I'm right here. I'm Gene."

"Why doesn't he want me anymore," she whimpered sadly.

Gene’s face fell as well. When her hand went limp and she didn’t continue, he knew she passed out. He sat down on the edge of her bed in a bit of sorrow. She really was more hurt than he thought. He couldn’t leave her.

Gene turned off the light and left the door open as he walked to the guest room he had come across earlier. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he picked up the phone and dialed. As he waited, and hoped for the phone to be answered, he started untying his shoes.

“Hello?”

“Oh, Van, thank God you’re home already, man.”

“I just ran in to answer. Everything alright?”

“I’m at Judy’s. She’s pretty bad. I can’t leave her alone tonight in case something happens. Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Can you call Betsy and tell her that I got drunk and passed out at your place so she doesn’t worry?”

“Uh...sure. But, why don’t you just tell her the truth?”

“Oh, you definitely ain’t a married man,” Gene laughed, “It doesn’t matter what the truth is, buddy, they’ll always jump to the conclusion that you’re fucking someone else.”

Gene bit his cheek and made a face at his own comment, as he did have an affair with Judy, but tonight wasn’t the case.

“Yeah, that does make sense,” Van chuckled, “No problem, buddy.”

“Thanks.”

When they hung up, Gene sighed and fell on his back. Running a hand over his face, he snickered.

What a night.

Rain hitting the window stirred Judy out of her sleep. She was laying face down on top of her bed, her neck length curls in disarray and her mascara smeared under her eyes. She looked up at the clock on her nightstand and moaned. It was nine-thirty. The skies were grey, making her room still cozy and dark, and all she wanted to do was go back to sleep but her body thought otherwise. Not to mention she was terribly hungry.

After ten minutes, Judy finally mustered the strength to pull herself out of bed. As she passed the window, she did a double take seeing a car that wasn’t hers in her driveway. Walking to the window to get a better view, she immediately recognized whose car that was.

Gene’s.

Why was he there? Judy thought back, remembering he was at the club and then...suddenly the night came back to her. She didn’t remember coming home, but she remembered him making her get into the back seat of his car. Quite embarrassed, she dropped her face into her hands.

“Oh, no,” she mumbled.

Wait, she thought, as her head popped up, did they sleep together? She couldn’t remember. Quickly looking down at her body, she saw that she was still dressed in her matching camisole set. Then she looked around her floor and there were no signs of any of Gene’s clothes scattered around.

She relaxed when she instinctively knew they hadn't had sex. Good gracious, she would be horrified if she had and couldn't remember. Gene would be more embarrassed than her in that regard.

Judy had just walked out of her bedroom when she heard Gene’s morning cough from down the hall. She followed the shuffling sound until she saw him in the guest room.

Securing his pants, he didn’t notice Judy as she leaned against the door crossing her arms. When he finished and looked up to grab his shirt, he did a double take on Judy. One of the straps on her camisole tank was off her shoulder, one of her thigh high stockings now lay in a pool around her ankle, her hair looked like a bird's nest and the makeup under her eyes made her look like 20’s Gothic actress Theda Bara.

"Gosh, you look so sexy in the morning," he joked. She didn’t look amused and he spoke in an army voice, “Wipe that smile off your face, soldier.”

Judy watched as he continued dressing, working his button up dress shirt.

“Why did you stay here?”

“You asked me to.”

“I did?"

He realized then that she probably didn’t remember much and decided to skip that conversation for now.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“Really? You sure look hungover.”

“Well, I don’t feel it. I woke up around 4 and got sick but I took aspirin. I’m just tired, and very hungry.”

“Why don’t you take a shower and I’ll make us breakfast.”

Judy looked at him skeptically, “Why are you doing this?”

“Judy, just because we’re not together anymore, doesn’t mean I stopped caring,” he said coldly as he did up the last button.

It stunned her.

All she could do was muster up a soft, “Ok” before walking out to take her shower.

A little later, Gene was nearly finished setting the breakfast nook when Judy came in. Her voluminous curls were damp but she managed to put on a fresh, natural look to her makeup, and threw on a casual baby-blue romper dress. It was quite short, something she would most-likely play tennis in, and her feet were bare.

The two didn’t say a word as she sat at the table and he set their pancakes and bacon on it along with his coffee and her tea and of course some OJ. Judy felt a bit awkward at the silence, but Gene seemed just fine as he sat opposite her and read the Saturday morning paper. She distracted herself by listening to a Bing Crosby rerun playing on the portable speaker throughout breakfast. Gene did notice that her usual giggles and laughter during her favorite radio show was absent during it, which was highly unusual.

After her shower, and eating, Judy felt back to normal and more energetic, not just physically but mentally as well. It gave her the courage to break their silence.

“Thank you for breakfast.”

“Welcome,” she heard him mumble behind the paper.

Judy bit her lower lip a moment before continuing, “What a sad-looking day, huh?”

“I kinda like it. Reminds me of New York. It doesn’t rain here often,” Gene said back, his tone a little more engaged than before.

“Yah,” she agreed, “But it doesn’t make for a good Saturday, does it? Not much to do in the rain.”

“No, but maybe a day inside relaxing is just what you need... especially after last night.”

Judy heard the tone in his voice change to more sly and she cocked her head and spoke confidently, “I had a great time last night.”

Gene peeked at her from the newspaper before he folded it back up, “What do you remember from last night?”

“I remember that you ruined my good time.”

Gene stared at her before speaking matter-of-factly, “I corrected your mistake before it was made.”

“Oh,” she giggled, “Is that what you call it?”

“So,” he said, placing his coffee back on its saucer with a bit of a noise, “You remember all of it.”

“I don’t recall actually coming home, but I remember the club just fine."

"And you had a great time?"

Judy knew what he was getting at, "Yes. I know what you want me to say, darling, but I don’t regret any of it. Not. One. Bit.”

“You’re joking,” he said, astonished.

“No.”

Gene looked at her as if he didn’t hear right, “You...don’t regret anything from last night?”

“Mm, well, I should've probably ate while drinking, but,” she leaned her jaw on her open hand challenging him with a sarcastic voice, “what exactly are you referring to, Gene?”

“Oh, God,” he said leaning back in his chair, “Do I really have to say it?”

“Why would I regret that? It’s what I came to the club for.”

The tone in her voice alerted Gene that she was serious about that quest.

“Why,” he asked, shocked.

“Do *I* really have to say it,” she asked amused now.

Gene crossed his arms and just stared at her as if he was trying to read her. When she giggled, he shook his head.

“You were doing that to get me jealous, weren’t you?”

“What?”

“Admit it.”

“Gene, give me a break. I didn’t even know you were going to be at that joint. I went there with my girlfriend so I could get away from the people I knew so they wouldn’t stop me from having fun. You admit it. You were jealous and that’s why you stopped me.”

"Hey, Sweetheart, I have no problem admitting when I’m jealous, it's perfectly natural, but that’s not why I stopped you. You were drunk and acting foolish.”

“I may have been drinking, but I was not foolish. I knew exactly what I was doing. The alcohol just made me more relaxed.”

“Oh, you were relaxed alright, about as relaxed as his hands were when they were all over your ass.”

Judy didn't hesitate, “Which I enjoyed.”

“Judy…”

“Did I once look like I was uncomfortable or push him away?" When Gene didn't answer she nodded 'yes' proving her point, "Ah huh. I was very much aware that I was leaving with him when you acted like a goddamn caveman.”

Though sloshed last night, Gene could see she was sober as a judge in her acclamation and it frightened him a bit, “Why would you do that? Why would you say yes to a stranger asking you to leave with him?”

“I didn’t. He said yes to me.”

Judy flinched just a tad when Gene suddenly screeched his chair back and grabbed his empty cup of coffee heading to the counter. He was obviously very uncomfortable. Judy didn’t enjoy the conversation either, but everything was the truth.

“Why are you getting so upset,” she asked, standing up and brought her empty plate over to the sink, “I am an adult, you know, I’m a single woman, not to mention a soon-to-be divorced woman. I think I can make my own decisions.”

“Make your own decisions, fine, just think about them beforehand.”

“I did.”

“No, you didn’t. You made a decision, but you didn’t think about the what if’s.”

“Oh, what are you going on about now,” she asked, almost uninterested as she head back to grab his empty plate.

“I get that you’re a single woman, Judy. Go out and have fun, you deserve it, but next time you feel the need to jump in the sac, do it with someone you know, or at least know of. I know plenty of guys in our arena that would be perfectly willing to have an encounter with you. And they would respect you afterwards and be discreet about it. They *know* the business.”

“I wanted to get away from that last night. Why do you think we came there in the first place? I wanted to have fun with someone I didn’t know, who didn’t know me, but wanted me anyways. I did think about it.”

Gene banged her utensil drawer closed so hard, it made her flinch.

“You don’t get it,” his voice raised frustrated, “This was a complete stranger. You didn’t know him. Something bad could have happened.”

“For instance,” she said, placing a hand on her hip in annoyance.

“Many reasons. For one, even though it was consensual, he could have ended up getting forceful or, God forbid, raping you. He could have been a woman beater or left you on the side of the road afterwards.”

Her look made him see that she didn’t believe anything he was saying, that nothing like that would have happened to her. She was gullible. He had to get back on her terms to make her understand.

“Alright. Say he was a decent enough man, what if you got pregnant? You were drunk, you could have gotten careless. Or what if he ended up bragging to everyone that Judy Garland was easy? News like that would spread around this town like wildfire and Louella would have a field day. Stuff like that has happened before. You’re not indestructible or invisible in that regard.”

Judy lowered her eyes as she fiddled with her nail, “I guess I didn’t think about it in that way.”

Gene’s temper simmered down as she got it now and he spoke caringly, “That’s why I stopped you, I was looking out for you.”

“Thank you,” was all that she could muster up as she turned the sink faucet on.

“If I did that because I was jealous, don’t you think I would have taken you to bed myself?”

Disappointment and anger flashed in her eyes, “No, I don’t.”

To hide her explanation of what she had replied back, Judy started working on the dishes, even though Rosie, her housekeeper, was due there in a few hours.

Gene stood there, hand on his hip, as he watched her in silence, “I’ll never stop wanting you, Judy.”

Her hands frozen in the soapy water, she looked at him over her shoulder, “What?”

“It’s true.”

Judy turned the water off and dried her hands on the dish towel before facing him, “Why did you just say that to me?”

“Because of what you said last night.”

She nervously cleared her throat, “What did I say?”

“Right before you fell asleep, I don’t think you knew who you were talking to, but you were wondering why I didn’t want you anymore. I do, I’m just trying to get back to some normalcy in my life. I have to give all my energy to my marriage right now, but that doesn’t mean my feelings for you have changed.��

“Haven’t they,” she insisted as if she didn’t believe him.

“For God's sake, falling out of feelings for someone like you doesn't just happen overnight."

“It doesn’t, huh,” she insisted again.

Gene didn’t like her tone of voice and wondered if she had even heard a word he had said. It saddened him that she wasn’t getting through to her. He turned to walk out of the kitchen, and made it to the door when she spoke up.

"Prove it,” her voice sounded persistent but nervous.

"What,” Gene asked, his back still to her as he froze.

"Prove it," Judy repeated. She knew he wouldn’t prove it, now that he had made up his mind on giving all his ‘energy’ to Betsy. Her voice became angry, “Prove it or get the hell out of my house.”

Gene’s exasperation for her, sexually, and in this conversation, was too much to bear. All he could do at that moment was hit his hand on the wall next to the door. Judy waited a long moment for him to either turn around, or walk out, but he didn’t either. He didn’t even speak. Emotionally exhausted, and disheartened, she shook her head and walked his way.

She brushed up against him as she squeezed by to walk out the kitchen door but before she could take even two steps further, Gene’s hand grabbed her wrist holding her back, her arm in a 90 degree angle. Turning her around to face him, he swiftly planted her body up against his and took the two steps himself until her back was to the wall. She gasped and looked up at him with wide eyes.

His lips remained dangerously close to hers as he huskily spoke, “I don’t have to prove anything to you. I want you to feel it instead.”

Gene refrained from kissing her as he waited for some response.

“What are you doing,” she breathed excitedly, as he had been so adamant not to be with her like this anymore.

“Forgetting about normalcy just this one last time.”

Judy opened her mouth to speak but his mouth quickly descended onto hers.

Gene focused on the relieved whimper that escaped her mouth as he kissed her. When his tongue swept against hers for the first time in a very long time, she clung onto him desperately, as if she were afraid he would pull back.

He wasn’t going to, not this time. He wanted to remind her what she still did to him, and what he still wanted to do to her no matter how far apart they had been. And, since she had obviously been looking for a good time in the wrong place, he decided to give her body its craving in the right place.

There, pressed against the wall as they shared the most deepest, sexual kiss he could ever remember having, in the back of Gene’s mind, he knew her satisfaction wouldn’t last, that she’d be out looking for another man sooner or later. He needed a promise from her.

Slowly pulling back from their lip lock, her lower lip snapped back from his mouth, and she let out a breath through her nose biting the bottom of that lip that he had just been sucking on. He forgot why she stopped for a moment as she was so turned on that it made his dick harden.

“Judy.”

“Mmm,” was all she could reply as she felt those erotic butterflies in her tummy spread up to her chest, tingling her nipples.

“Next time you go out, you have to be more careful, and selective. Don’t go searching for an every-day stranger,” Gene placed his pointer finger and thumb on her chin gently lifting her face, “Promise me.”

Judy lifted her eyes to his and looked at them back and forth with sincerity, “I promise.”

Without his eyes leaving hers, his hands slid over her bottom and reached down as they slid down back thighs. They both let out an aroused sound as he picked her up, her legs around his waist, and walked them down the hall.

The rain hitting the window? No. The echo of the radio from the kitchen playing? No. Gene’s mouth between her legs? Oh, yes.

That’s all she heard, even ignoring her own whimpers and cries, as he oh so skillfully made her feel so delicious and orgasmic. She was perched on the large, long, rectangle console table against the curved stairwell wall in the foyer. The table was heavy, or else it would have most-likely broken when he sat her on top of it. They weren’t exactly gentle when removing one another’s clothes against it, either. The decorative books that had been on top were now laying in disarray next to a kneeling Gene, but the vase with a bouquet of mixed flowers, surprisingly, hadn’t been affected.

As Judy moved her leg up on his shoulder a bit, she felt her jumper dress slide off her ankle, where it had been dangling for a few minutes now. Gene’s right hand acknowledged her leg, and softly caressed her thigh there, not stopping his licks and sucks.

His knees started to feel the effects of the marble floor just then, but Gene didn’t care. The way her body, and her voice, were responding to him made it so fucking worth it. He had wanted to take her upstairs to her bed, but the passion and sexual frustration that had built up from not being together all this time, took its toll on them and they ended up there in the entry-way.

Gene let go of her thigh and reached down to caress himself with just enough pressure to relieve some tension. However, he didn’t realize how sensitive he had become and he groaned against her. It felt so good that he continued to caress his hard on.

He heard Judy giggle through a gasp as he continued to groan against her through his sucks. It was a different sensation for her that just heightened the experience. But he had to stop his wrist or he knew eventually he’d embarrass both of them. He wanted to get her there. When he adjusted himself for a more comfortable angle, he hit a sensitive spot for her. Gene heard another loud cry from her as her hand immediately squeezed his hair keeping his head in place.

Smiling to himself, he started flicking the area underneath her pearl back and forth that made her thighs quiver.

“That feels so good,” Judy breathlessly whimpered. When he stopped flicking that area, and started sucking on it instead, she gasped, “Oh my gosh.”

The place he focused on was so sensitive that it almost was a painful type of pleasure, but her rising orgasm made it feel unstoppable.

Continuing, he felt her body start to tense up and her cries skipped as she reached up behind her. Her knuckles turned white as she squeezed the white bars on the stairs. Hearing her squeak and her body still, Gene let his mouth off her and watched as her entrance contracted in a quick rhythm, getting even wetter. He thought he’d come right then and couldn’t wait to feel it himself.

Standing up, he remained in between her legs, as he gave her a peck on the lips. She immediately smiled and opened her eyes. Staring into his sparkling ones, she giggled amused from how amazing that was. He smiled back and gave her another kiss before lifting her off of the table. He didn’t want to fuck her here. But before he could even suggest moving, she immediately lowered onto her knees.

“Baby…” he protested but her mouth was already on him. He realized she was a giver as much as a taker during sex, and it pleased her as much to so, as much as did him, but he was far too ready.

Luckily, she was privy to his thoughts, and familiar with his body. Judy took it slow and didn’t concentrate on the most sensitive areas, unlike what he had just done, but his goal was different. Judy wanted him to come from being inside of her. When she felt his cock twitch, she stood back up. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she placed one hell of a kiss on him. He held her naked body closer and groaned happily at it.

Gene knew her legs were jelly, and his knees were pretty numb, but he managed to carry them up the stairs. He wanted to fuck her on her bed. Judy deserved that, especially since that other guy would have probably been a two-pump chump in the backseat of his Cadillac with her. Not him, though she didn’t make it any easier as her hips slowly slid up and down his shaft, which was nestled in between their lower belly’s as he walked them into her bedroom.

The rain had stopped, birds were now chirping outside her veranda doors and the sun was beginning to shine, as they made love on top of her luscious bed. The two enjoyed their closeness, as Gene laid fully on top of her, rhythmically moving his hips in and out in a timeless pace as they slowly kissed. But the heat from downstairs was very much present and soon his grinds got quicker, pushing his body against hers harder.

Just as the headboard started making a sound against the wall, so did Judy’s responses as she started moaning again. She was so slick and warm and tight, Gene found it excruciating to hold back. Fortunately, she answered his prayers.

“Fuck me,” she whispered.

They were having sex, but she knew the difference from making love and what she had just pleaded. At least she wasn’t naïve about that.

After giving her a kiss as if to say ‘ok’, he removed himself, which felt like a relief and frustration at the same time. Gene kneeled as she got up and turned around on her knees, holding onto the headboard. Both sated with natural lubrication, it was almost too easy as he slid into her center from behind. It always felt better this way, in a more naughty sensation.

The sound of dogs barking outside and the ticking of her clock on her nightstand was muted by the pounding of their skin as he fucked her. It wasn’t even a full minute when he felt his balls start to tighten. Groaning and nearly holding his breath to keep himself from letting go, he started to feel her twitch around him and he wanted to cry out with relief that she was close. He was too focused on the sensations right now to pay attention to her moans. By now he was familiar with what each of her sounds meant, which was a good way for him to know which direction to go, but right now he didn’t have that kind of concentration.

Gene didn’t even hear her whimper that she was coming when all of a sudden his cock was being milked hard and fast by her orgasm and another rush of her arousal soaked him. Without warning, he felt his pre-cum and had just enough time to pull out. Moaning loudly over and over, he stroked himself frantically as his orgasm shot out onto her lower back.

The phone ringing woke both of them up. Judy lifted her head from Gene’s chest startled as he reached over sleepily picking up the receiver. He didn’t answer, obviously, he handed it to Judy. She had to get her bearings a moment, as she hadn’t realized she fell asleep, before answering.

“Hello?”

“Hi, sweetheart, it’s Van.”

“Oh, hi.”

“How you feelin’,” he asked amused.

“I’m fine.”

“Swell. Say, is Gene still there?”

Judy furrowed her brows and looked at Gene, “Uh, no, he’s not,” Gene mouthed ‘what’ and she continued, “Why?”

“Because his wife called me for a second time. First time I was able to tell her he was still sleeping but it’s the afternoon now. I told her he left but thought I’d try to see if he was still over there so I could warn him.”

“Oh, golly. No, he’s not here.”

“Alright. Well, I'm glad you feel ok,” Van laughed, “You should have seen you last night. You were…”

Judy hung up the phone annoyed.

“What,” Gene asked, sitting up curious.

“That was Van. He said Betsy has called him twice looking for you. He uh, he just told her you left. He was calling to see if you were still here.”

“I told him to cover my alibi so I could stay with you. I really should get going before someone sees my car out there,” he said and got out of bed.

She nodded and sat up, the sheets around her as she hugged her knees to her chest.

“Are you going to be alright?”

“Oh,” she smiled, “I am now.”

He leaned down, his hands pushing onto the mattress as he came nose to nose with her, “Remember what you promised me.”

“I know,” she said and placed her hand on his cheek as she kissed him, “Thank you.”

“Friends?”

Judy couldn’t hide the quick disappointment in her eyes but she respected him enough to respect his wishes of working on his marriage.

She smiled and nodded, pinching his cheek, “Friends.”

Right before Gene walked out, he looked back at her, “Judy.”

“Mm hm?”

“Maybe I was a little jealous.”

Her smile broke wide and he winked before walking out.

#jugenea #judy garland #gene kelly #jg fans #gk fans

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pixie88 · 4 years ago

Text

Baby Shower

Chapter 7 - Together - Adam & Ellie.

A/N: This chapter is a fast forward. Rereading it seems like a filler but a fluffy filler! I’m loving my new collages!! SO PRETTY!!! I hope you like it!

Comments always welcome good or bad!

I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this new series from now on as I don't want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let me know!

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Word count: 1885

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, NSFW & adult language.

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy 😘

I've been home for 4 days now, I'm bored Adam is at work he wanted to stay home but I convince him that I am fine. But now? Now I'm bored! Daytime TV is awful, I decide to go for a walk. I pop into Bridezillas, Jess looks up at me as I walk into the shop "Hey Ellie! How are you feeling?" she has the most fake smile.

"Hi, I'm feeling OK, just bored!"

"I can imagine it must be just staring at 4 walls all day. Have you heard anything about what is happening to the girl that attacked you?"

"Erm, last I heard they were charging her. Adam is dealing with updates. Has it been busy?"

I don't know if it's real or fake but she gives me an apologetic look "Psycho, hopefully she'll get what's coming to her. Today has been pretty steady actually" the shop phone rings Jess smile and answers it.

I hear the shop door open and turn to greet what I thought would be a customer to be face with his 'Why aren't you resting, look' I feel like a kid being caught with her hand in the cookie jar "Ellie, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at home with your feet up?"

I give him my best pouty sad face "I was bored, so I thought I'd go for a walk and just popped in. How did you know I was here?"

He gives me that grin, "I was walking back from the shop, we needed more tea at work and I saw you in here"

Jess interrupts "Ellie, are you OK to keep an eye out here for a minute or two? Amy is on her break and I need to check out back if a customers dress has been altered?"

I look over my shoulder at her "Yeah, that's fine" She smiles before rushing out the back to the stock room.

"Busted then! I was just so bored I was going to go stir crazy just watching TV"

His arms come around me, his cheek bushes mine as he whispers against my ear "I could've kept you company, but you told me to go back to work!"

I laugh, "Adam!!" I playfully swat him.

"Back thanks Ellie!" Jess calls from behind.

"Right, come on I'm taking you to lunch"

"Oooo, can we go to The Grill? I'm really feeling a chicken burger! Oh, and ice! Baby wants ice!"

He laughs, entwines his fingers through mine and pulls me towards the door "Bye Jess!" I call over

"Bye!"

We get outside "I just need to pop these into the office" we walk over to his office, we get out the front then I freeze on the spot.

Adam turns to look at me, then it clicks and his face turns to concern "Ellie, beautiful! I'm sorry! You know what I'll leave these here and tell Rob there outside. Don't worry I won't let anyone hurt you or Charlie! I promise! Let's get you some lunch"

~*~*~*~

After lunch Adam drops me home, I'm looking round the spare bedroom we emptied a few weeks ago. We have the paint, furniture, and furnishings. Nina and Al decided to stay another week after my incident with Laura. I give Nina a text, half an hour later, Al and Nina arrive "Ellie, let's get start on this room" Nina rushes me upstairs. She paints not letting me help and Al puts together the furniture.

I hear my phone.

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[Hey yummy mummy, I hope you're at home resting! I will grab you a couple of bags of ice on the way home! x]

[Hi my gorgeous husband, I am! I've just grabbed one of your hoodies while the heating is heating up as I'm cold. I will send a photo as proof haha! You know how to make a girl happy, I just finished the bag we got at lunch :( xx]

I take a kissy-pouty face photo with his white hoodie in my hand to throw him off and hit send.

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[Beautiful! Probably all that ice you've eaten that's made you cold. OK, I'll get 4 bags might last until tomorrow at least. x]

[Haha, it probs is! I might get in bed until I warm up. Not a bad craving to have, can't put on weight eating ice! haha. We will see you later xx]

Later I'm just putting the vacuum round Charlie new bedroom, Nina and Al have, left as they have plans with Elaine.

"Ellie? Gorgeous? Are you here?"

I hear him call out as he comes in for work "I'm up here! Come up!" I call down, I rush out of the room and close the door.

He reaches the top of the stairs and turns to me "There you are!"

"I have a surprise for you!"

He narrow his eyes at me "Would it have anything to do with that paint on, your forehead?"

I touch my head (Crap!) "Ellie, what have you been up to?"

"Come here, cover your eyes and follow me!" I pull him with me as I open the door "You can't open your eyes until say!"

He grins, I pull him further into the room "Open them!"

He opens his eyes and looks round the room "Ellie, Wow! This is amazing!" he has the brightest smile, "Wait, you didn't lift that furniture did you?"

I laugh "No, of course not. I got your mum and dad to help. Your dad put everything together your mum painted the walls, I did offer to help but she would only let me make teas"

He wraps his arms around me "Ellie, it's perfect!" he claims my lips with his "Now, let me make you dinner!"

"No, Adam I'll make it! You've been at work all day"

He cups my face "And you're pregnant and came home only 4 days ago! I'm cooking no arguments" he kisses my lips softly. I know there's not point in protesting.

~*~*~*~

4 Weeks later.

He clutches my hips as I'm bouncing up and down him "Fuck baby! That's it ride me!" he pushes off the bed and sits up as pulls me to his lips.

I grasp his lip between my teeth, he groans and I let go before his lips kiss along my pulse line. He moves his hips up burying himself further into me "Yes! That's it! Oh!!" a wave of pleasure explodes between my legs and I hit my climax.

He drives into me a few more times before he hits his own.

I collapse onto him, he wraps me up into his arms "Do you have to go to work today?" I put on my pouty face.

He chuckles "Not had enough?"

I shook my head, "You will have so much more fun with me" I wink.

"I would but I'm busy at work" he kisses me gently before getting out of bed, he turns "But you can always join me in the shower!" he winks. I jump up, and he pulls me towards the bathroom with him.

After our shower we are in the bedroom getting dressed, I'm sat on the bed when I feel a flutter in my tummy (That's new) I rest a hand against my bump and I feel it "Adam!! He's kicking!" He spins round and rushes over to me, I take his hand and place it where I felt the kick.

*Kick!*

Adam felt it, his face lights up "He kicked!" then another and another. "Oh wow! This is amazing Ellie!" Adam's phone rings and rings and rings "Rob, what's up?...Yeah, of course. OK, I'll be right there!" he hangs up "I've got to go. I love you...the both of you" he kisses my cheek then my bump.

"We'll see you later!" I smile.

I have today off as Amy needed to swap days. Mum has invited me to lunch at the club, I take the train into the city centre.

[Hey husband! <<I don't think I'll ever get bored of calling you that! 5 weeks tomorrow you made me your proud wife! How's work? Not working to hard I hope?! You'll need your energy for later ;) Just on my way to mum's club for lunch. x]

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[Hello my beautiful wife < I won't get bored of calling you that either xx. Wow, feels like yesterday! Yeah, work is fine muddling through. Oh, will I now? Why would that be!? Have fun and think of me stuck here! xx]

[Good because that's my title until I'm 6 feet under! haha. Aww just think we could be in bed sweating, panting and screaming each others names...but you chose work. Because I plan you for you to fuck me all night! haha! x]

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[That won't be for a long time yet! Fuck picturing it now *boxers feeling tight!* I won't make that mistake again. I plan to keep you in bed until you're sore ;) I need to get back to work. I love you both xx]

[I could've helped with that....but I can't now. You better not!!!!!!!! Ooooh looking forward to it. We love you too x]

~*~*~*~

I get to the club and head inside.

*SURPRISE!*

I look around the room is decorated in blue balloons, it's a boy and baby shower banners! Everyone is here my mum, Tom, Amy, Justin, Elaine, Nina, Kerry and Adam. My emotions get the better of me and I burst into tears.

Mum rushes over to me "Oh, El's this was supposed to have the opposite effect"

I smell his aftershave then feel his arms wrap around me "Hey beautiful! No tears!"

I smile through the tears, he cups my face and wipes them away "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting this! It's such a lovely gesture!" I apologize.

I dry my tears and Adam leads me to a table "Was this your doing? I thought you were busy?"

"Hey Ellie, You can cry if your want to 1. it's your party and 2. you're pregnant, you can be emotional and no one can question it" Elaine calls over.

He gives me a smug smile, "I had to make you believe that because I needed to get here to help your mum. Do you really think I would have turned down a day in bed with you for work?"

I laugh, "I'll remember that next time! Your mum is here! She's racking up some air miles"

"When Mel mentioned it to me a few months ago I had a word with mum. I said she didn't need to come down, but she wanted to. I think she likes you more than me," he laughs, "But seriously she wants to be here in her words 'Adam don't be so silly this is my first grandchild I'm going to get on the first plane for everything, the birth, their first steps etc'"

I laugh, "Bless her!"

Later after gifts and food. I'm catching up with Tom "How are you feeling El's?"

"Like an emotional hippo!" He laughs, "So, it looks like you and Justin are over your little spat?"

"Yeah, El's there's something I need to tell you," he gives me a look I can't read.

"What? What is it?"

"El's, come on let's cut the cake!" Mum pulls me away before Tom can answer. (What does he want to tell me?)

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 8.

@lem-20 @khoicesbyk @aussieez @shewillreadyou @txemrn @irisofpurple

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ohmygarlands · 4 years ago

Text

Just a Memory

Gene’s body moved fluidly, rocking back and forth over his wife as they made love. The warm light on the bedside table illuminated Betsy beautifully, and he couldn’t help but keep his eyes on hers. It had been weeks since they were intimate. Gene enlisted in the Naval Air Service and was stationed in D.C. He would come home on a pass when he could depending on whether or not he was needed. In many ways, the time apart wound up strengthening his relationship with Betsy. They had hit troubled waters a while back when Judy had entered their lives:

While filming For Me & My Gal, it was widely speculated among gossip columns - which didn’t take long to reach the people they knew - that Judy and Gene shared more than just a close friendship. Their affair did indeed go on both during and for a little while after filming. The love they shared, however, was real and for many reasons, it scared both of them to death. Both were married, and Gene had a new baby at home. He loved Betsy, and always had but there was something different about Judy. Judy aroused not only his body but his soul. She could keep him in a trance whenever they were together, one that would linger for hours after she had left. It brought him to his knees when he had to make the decision to take the moral high ground, parting ways with Judy to focus on his family. Begrudgingly, Judy let him off the end of her line. While Gene’s marriage was thriving, however, hers had faded to dust. It wasn’t long after that that her and David separated, and she found herself single and in the snakepit of Hollywood.

Though Gene’s marriage was thriving, it was no easy path. One does not simply move on from Judy Garland. Her memory lingered in his mind, her voice would come through his car radio every night on his drive home from the studio, they were busy on opposite ends of the lot shooting two different films yet would somehow always manage to stop by the commissary at the exact same time. It was as though he was drawn to her like a magnet, like there was some kind of invisible string attaching them both at the waist and no matter how many times he tried to cut it, it wouldn’t break.

It took enlisting in the Naval Air Service for the pain of missing her to finally subside. Even then, it was still there, it just became easier to deal with. His mind was elsewhere and he began missing Betsy more and more, every day that he was away. The love letters he once used to exchange with Judy, he was now exchanging with his wife. Her letters were the highlight of his day, he craved to hear how Kerry was getting along and Betsy never failed to include photos.

His body buckled on top of hers and he leaned down, placing a soft kiss against her cheek.

“Alright, that settles it… you’re staying in D.C. indefinitely,” Betsy panted with a sly smile.

“What do you mean?” He rolled off of her, pulling a cigarette off the nightstand.

“The way you make love when you’re home on a pass, I’ve been married to you for years, I’ve never felt anything like it,” she grinned.

Gene laughed, taking a drag from his cigarette before turning his expression serious, “There are no women there, Bets… I only have men to look at, day in and day out, you’ll be lucky if we leave this bed all weekend.”

“Good,” she softly smiled, dragging her arm over his waist and cuddling into his chest, “except…” she began.

“What?” He asked, blowing another cloud of smoke from his lips.

“There’s… a chance I may have… accidentally… on purpose… told everybody you were home this weekend,” she bit her thumbnail.

Gene sighed, “Where are we going?” He rolled his eyes playfully.

“A bunch of your pals from the studio are going out to Ciro’s tomorrow night, I told them we’d be there to have a drink and a few laughs.”

“That doesn’t sound too terrible,” he smiled.

“They’re very excited to see you.”

Gene’s curiosity peaked, he stubbed out his cigarette before scooching back down on the bed, “who’s ‘they’?”

“Oh, you know, everybody… Pete, Frank, Phil…”

“I see,” he lowered his eyes, “Well, it’s a date then. I guess I’ll make an exception for them,” he grinned, rolling over and kissing her passionately.

The next evening, once Kerry was settled with the babysitter, Gene and Betsy made a swift exit, heading towards Beverly Hills. He drove with one hand on the steering wheel and one holding her fingers between his. Betsy couldn’t help but smile at her husband’s affections. She couldn’t remember the last time he was so attentive to her.

Gene took Betsy’s coat along with his and checked it before they headed into the club. Immediately, his eyes were drawn to a big table in the corner with a crowd of familiar faces shouting to him. He flashed that charming smile of his and with Betsy on his arm, made his way to the group.

“Well, look who the cat dragged in!” Phil Silvers teased, jumping from his chair.

“Hey you big lug!” Gene matched his excitement.

“Good to see ya! How the hell have you been?” Phil pulled out a chair for him and before Gene could answer, a cute blonde waitress appeared behind him looking for his drink order. He ordered a beer for himself and a glass of Chardonnay for Betsy.

“So they decided to let you free for a few days, huh?”

“Oh, the National Guard couldn’t keep me from coming home, my friend!” He said, putting his arm around Betsy.

“Well, you look better than ever! The Navy agrees with you!” Lucille Ball chimed in, exhaling smoke from her cigarette.

“Thank you,” he bowed his head.

“So what’ve they been keeping you busy with out East?” Frank asked.

“Well, it was a fight at first but I was stationed in the photographic section of the Air Service, I’m in charge of writing and directing various projects, in fact I just put the finishing touches on a training video I’ve been working before I came home. It’s called Combat Fatigue Irritability. The title is self explanatory…” He trailed off, it was a particularly heavy piece of material.

“Wow, you just can’t get away from the camera can you? You run off to join the Navy and you’re still stuck making pictures!”

“Now, come on, he can’t help it with a face like that!” Phil tossed his arm around his neck, pulling him in to give him a noogie. When Gene managed to break free, he cradled the base of his beer, twirling it around in his hand as he continued to laugh. The group had trailed off into another conversation with Betsy and when Gene looked up again, his wide smile quickly vanished.

There she was. There she fucking was. He wondered as he and Betsy were getting ready to leave if he would see Judy tonight. Ciro’s was practically a second home to her when they were together, he knew there would be a solid chance they’d meet again. But as prepared as he thought he was to see her, he couldn’t have imagined it would feel this way. His eyes were glued to her as the rest of the world seemingly faded away and she walked in slow motion with the arm of another gentleman around her waist. Her flowing hair - which was much darker than he remembered it, a little shorter too - bouncing at her shoulders, that unmistakable laugh echoing in his mind. His eyes drifted out of curiosity to the man who held her by the waist, it was Joe Mankiewicz, a relatively well known writer and producer at the studio. He was also known to be a bit of a leech... and to be a bit married. Gene could feel his jaw tighten as he curled his hands into a fist under the table when he saw Joe’s hand slide further down Judy’s backside as he led her to the bar.

That’s not my beautiful girlfriend, he thought to himself.

She is not mine anymore, he repeated in his head.

Betsy glanced over at her husband, immediately noticing his transfixed stare. When she looked in the direction he was, her own heart fell to her stomach. Judy Garland was a name she had heard all too often over the last two years. When the gossip columnists began writing about their suspected affair, everyone on the block was calling her. She couldn’t bring herself to believe the rumours but something about Gene’s demeanour changed when she was around. He became an empty shell when he was at home, even going so far as to flinch whenever Betsy would touch him. At the time, she chalked it up to the heavy pressure the studio was putting on him. They were both new to Hollywood, he wasn’t used to the schedules he kept. With that in mind, Gene managed to convince her the rumours were just that, a rumour. When Gene began to return to his normal self, she dared question it. She had been waiting for him to look at her again the way he used to, with his devoted love and admiration. But his expression now was one she had never seen before.

“Mr. Kelly, Earth to Kelly…” Frank interjected, waving his hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his reverie.

“What?”

“You ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Frank turned to look where he had been and when he saw Judy, it all came together. Frank was one of the only people who knew of their affair. It wasn’t his choice though, he had walked in on them fooling around in an empty rehearsal hall. From that day forward, he had acted as a scapegoat and alibi when he was needed, and tonight he delivered just the same. He glanced over at Betsy and immediately drew her attention away from Gene, making small talk about FDR being reelected president.

Gene sat stone faced, holding his beer in his hands. His eyes had lost sight of Judy but she was racing a mile a minute in his mind. The large nightclub suddenly felt like a tiny room with the walls slowly caving in. He frantically pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and when he felt Betsy’s hand land on his thigh under the table, he leapt up from his chair.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, knowing full well what the problem was but choosing to ignore the screaming voice in her head.

“I’m just going out for a smoke, it’s hot in here, isn’t it hot in here? I’ll be back…” He explained, darting for the entrance to the back patio.

He leaned over the railing, allowing the smoke to fall freely from his lips. The wind blew unseasonably hot that night, he could feel it stinging his face as he looked out onto Sunset Blvd. Gene had dated his fair share of women before Betsy came along, he had experience with ex girlfriends… but this, for some strange reason, felt like uncharted territory. What was this hold she had on him?

“I thought that was you,” her voice emanated from behind him. He closed his eyes for a moment before he could muster up the courage to turn around.

“Surprise,”

Judy took a few steps closer, placing herself in front of the railing beside him. She fished her own cigarette out of her purse and when she struggled with her lighter, Gene flicked his, placing the flame at the end of her smoke.

“Thanks,”

Gene nodded, shoving it back in his pocket.

“So what’s your excuse?” He asked.

“My what?”

“Your excuse for smoking outside. What did you tell him?”

Judy glanced down at her hands that gripped the wooden handrail, “Same as yours, needed some air.”

“How do you know that was mine?”

“Because I know you,”

“Joseph Mankiewicz, huh?” He said, staring forward.

“Stop it.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I know a judgmental tone when I hear one. You have absolutely no right, so don’t you dare say another word.”

“You know he’s married, right?”

Judy paused for a moment before she answered him, “That never stopped you.”

“Touche,”

“Besides, you know nothing about him or us so why don’t you stay out of it?”

“Maybe I’m out of line here, Judy, but just what exactly are you doing?”

“What are you talking about?”

“With him? I know who Joe is, I know YOU know who Joe is, are you… are you together? What is that?” He asked, gesturing towards the door that led back into the club.

“He loves me, he promised to marry me just as soon as he knows his wife is taken care of. She’s sick, you know.”

“Yes, I know. That’s so fucked up, Judy. You’re so fucked up.”

“Remember when you said you might be out of line?” She sneered.

“Do you truly believe anything he says?”

“Why do you care?! Why do you care if I believe what he says? Why do you care if we’re together?”

“I don’t… know, I don’t know why I care. I just, I fucking hate that guy and I know you’re better than that, you’re better than him. This is not who you are.”

“Who am I, darling?”

Gene looked away, turning his attention to another couple slow dancing to the faint music coming from inside on the other end of the patio.

“Look at me!”

Slowly, he turned to meet her gaze, “I don’t know who you are anymore, Garland. How could I?”

“Look, I’m happy for you. I know you’ve been getting along with Betsy, that was your goal wasn’t it? To put your family back together, and you have. I’m so fucking happy for you, I could just vomit. Now why don’t you give me the same respect, huh?”

“I’m trying,” he replied softly, “I got over you, Judy. I’m over you.”

Judy leaned in closer to him, her chin nearly resting on his shoulder, “No you’re not.”

Just then, Betsy came out onto the patio in search of her husband. The door swinging open caused them both to turn around.

“Betsy!” Judy exclaimed enthusiastically with a wide smile.

“Hello…” she said softly, her eyes locked on Gene.

“So nice to see you again!” The over delighted tone in Judy’s voice made Gene wince.

“You too,” she said, accepting a half hug.

“Well, listen, I better get back to my date. Lovely chatting with you again, Gene. I’ll see you around, huh?”

“Yeah,” he said, facing forward again.

Betsy replaced Judy at the railing and she looked at her husband, searching for answers she didn’t want to hear. Gene took the last drag from his cigarette before flicking it over the balcony, feeling Betsy’s inquisitive gaze.

“Shall we go back inside?” He asked, ignoring the tension between them.

“I think I’d like to go home,”

“Go home? Bets, we just got here barely an hour ago.”

“If you don’t mind…”

Gene and Betsy drove down Sunset, heading towards Rodeo. Betsy leaned forward, drowning the silence by turning on the radio. She fiddled with the dial until she landed on a rerun of a Bob Hope comedy special. As soon as she leaned back in the seat, Judy’s voice came through the speaker singing I Never Knew I Could Love Anybody the Way I’m Loving You. In true Garland fashion, she was following them again. Hovering over their marriage like an ominous cloud. Betsy glanced at her husband and immediately noticed that jaw tighten again before he changed the channel.

“Why did you turn that off?” She asked, accusingly.

“I’ve heard it before,” he replied with a blank tone.

The air was silent between them for a moment.

“Did you sleep with her?” She blurted.

“What?” Gene almost swerved into the oncoming lane.

“Gene!”

“I’m sorry, why did you ask me that?”

“Because I’m not daft, Gene. I wasn’t born yesterday. I saw the way she looked at you, and even worse, the way you looked at her. You’re a different person when she’s around. I don’t like you when she’s around, and I don’t like you right now.”

“How am I different, Bets? Because I wanted to leave the club?”

“You haven’t looked me in the eye since I saw you standing outside with her. You’re afraid to, you’re hiding.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,”

“Listen, things have been going really well between us over the last year, I’m happy with you now and there was a time when I wasn’t. I don’t want to move backwards, Gene… I don’t want to be scared of coming in second anymore.”

“Betsy! You’re not second, I thought we were past this. I thought you didn’t believe those damn Hopper columns.”

“I will only ask you once more and then I promise to drop this… Did you or did you not have an affair with her?”

Gene thought for a moment, torn over his answer. He pulled the car over, turned off the ignition and looked her straight in the eye.

“No,” he said defiantly, “I did not sleep with her, we did not have an affair.”

Betsy smiled relieved, placing her hand on his cheek. His skin felt hot to the touch. The accusations of their affair took him back to a painful time that he wanted to remain in the past.

“Thank you,”

“Can we go home now?” He asked, placing his hand on top of hers.

When Gene returned to Washington, he continued to repair his relationship with Betsy but it wasn’t long before Betsy began to pull back. Her letters to him became further and further apart, and with a full workload, it was easy for Gene to get swept up in his duties. He couldn’t pay attention to what was happening back home, there was only so much he could do from afar.

One evening, he returned to his barracks with a letter in hand. He hadn’t bothered to look at the envelope, he assumed it was from Betsy and he was beyond tired after working a fourteen hour stretch. He flopped down on the cot and tore the letter open, tossing the envelope onto the blanket beside him. His heavy eyes flew wide open when he noticed the slanted handwriting he was all too familiar with.

Gene,

I agonized over writing this letter. What can I say? Where do I begin?

I know how you love to be right about everything – so I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of knowing you were right about everything regarding Joe. He doesn’t love me. Did I ever really love him? I don’t think so. Know how I know? I’m not all that upset. When you broke up with me, I cried for days. I barely shed a tear for Joe. What does that mean? I shouldn’t be asking you that. That’s not fair… I know our ship has sailed. Remember when I told you you weren’t over me? I know that you are. I know you’ve moved on. I can see it in your eyes, I could see it in the way you looked at me that night. It’s me, Gene. I’m the one who couldn’t move on. I think about you every time the phone rings, I think about you every time I play a record, you’re a constant white noise in my head and I don’t know how to stop it. I wish I could turn it off, but I can’t. I meant it when I said I was happy for you, darling, truly I did. But when do I get to be happy? When is it my turn? If only you could show me how.

Gene’s grip tightened on the letter. He turned the paper over expecting there to be more, but the sheet was blank. He flipped it back over, raising an eyebrow at its abrupt end. She always signed off on her letters.

Arriving home after another late night at Ciro’s with the girls, Judy trudged up to her bedroom. Tossing her shall onto the chaise lounge, she walked over to her vanity to grab a pack of cigarettes before changing into her night clothes. Her eyes were immediately drawn to an empty spot on the desk just below her mirror. The spot she was sure she had left the letter she wrote to Gene. She dropped the pack of cigarettes and her heart plummeted into her stomach. She tore through the vanity, checking in every little drawer and under a pile of magazines she kept. It was nowhere to be found. She had a few too many to drink that night at Ciro’s and for a moment she couldn’t remember if maybe she had moved it. She darted downstairs, tearing through the living room, in her bookshelves, on the fireplace. It had to be here somewhere she thought.

“Miss Garland?” Her housekeeper who often stayed the night to keep Judy company came in, barely awake, “What are you doing?”

Judy swung around, trying to remain composed, “Uhm.. I’m, just, I’m looking for something.”

“May I help?”

“No, no, you go on back to bed… I know it’s here some place.”

“What is it you’re looking for?”

“It was a letter I had on my desk, it’s gone.”

“Oh,” Pearl laughed, “Darling, I mailed it out for you earlier today. You were out of stamps but I took it to the post office along with a few other pieces I had.”

“You WHAT?!” Judy held her hands over her face as she felt every limb go numb.

“You didn’t want it mailed?”

“No, I didn’t want it mailed, Pearl! ...Oh my God, I think I’m going to faint,” she breathed, pacing back and forth before falling into the armchair. “Alright, well you mailed it today? Maybe there’s a way I can get it back. I can go first thing in the morning, I can have the post office retrieve the letter for me.”

“Why don’t you get some sleep, huh? Don’t panic. I’m sure it’ll be just fine.”

When Judy arrived at the Post Office the next morning before her early call at the studio, she was told the mail had been sent out the previous afternoon and there was no way to intercept delivery. With her heart in her throat, all she could do was accept her fate. Gene would receive the letter – the letter that was only meant to be written, not sent.

As each day passed without a response, her anxiety raised. Luckily, she was catapulted into work on The Harvey Girls and was in the midst of recording an album for Decca Records which acted as a temporary distraction. Her personal life inadvertently took a backseat to her professional one.

It felt like a year had passed, but it had only been a month since the letter had been sent. She was filming on an exterior train set, recording In the Valley (Where the Evenin’ Sun Goes Down). The crew were mesmerized, her voice came through louder than the playback, even for such a soft song. The day she filmed a musical number was always a favourite for anyone who worked with her. Standing in a darkened area by an unused camera in the back of the sound stage, Gene watched her as she leaned back against the train. He couldn’t take his eyes from her, she had never looked more beautiful than she did in that very moment. He wasn’t sure if maybe it was because he hadn’t seen her in months or if because she truly had never been more beautiful. Once again, she looked different, as she always did when there had been a significant absence between them. She looked more mature, he thought.

The song came to a close and when George called cut, Judy leapt off the train set and made her way to the director’s chair to discuss an idea on how she could improve the last shot. Gene stepped out from the back of the sound stage, his hands in his pockets as he slowly walked towards her. Judy was so focused on a particular idea that it took a few moments for her eyes to raise over George’s shoulder. When finally she saw him heading her direction with such a warm demeanour, she softly smiled a smile that matched his. She was confused to see him. She hadn’t been made aware, even in her social circle that he was home again. Judy politely excused herself from the director and began walking towards him.

“Hi,” he grinned.

“What are you doing here?” She asked in a warm tone.

“I’m home for a while… I heard you singing.”

“You know, you’re not allowed on a closed set,” she teased.

“I couldn’t help it. Your voice is magnetizing.”

Judy lowered her stare to the floor between them, the thoughts raced through her mind a mile a minute. She wanted to come right out and ask him if he received her letter but she couldn’t bear to face it. He hadn’t said a thing about it, he never even bothered to answer – maybe he never received it, she thought… and hoped. She remembered a few times her letters to David had been misdelivered when he served.

“I’ll be home for a good long while,” he began again, speaking softly, “and I’d like to see you.”

“You would?”

“If that’s alright with you, of course.”

“Of course.”

Judy was promptly called back to the set but before she turned to leave, she asked him to stick around for another take, explaining that she thought she messed up somewhere in the outro. Gene agreed to stay, anything to keep his eyes on her even for just a few minutes more. He reached down and took her hand in his, running his thumb over her knuckles before she turned and walked back to set.

Judy nailed the next take from start to finish. She often credited Gene for giving her her strength and confidence. She always performed her best when he was in the vicinity. As the A.D. helped her off the train all the while singing her praises, Judy only desired and eagerly anticipated Gene‘s thought. When she came around the train set, her exuberance fell the moment she realized the spot he was standing in was now empty. She glanced around the sound stage but he was nowhere to be found.

It was nearly 10:30pm when Judy was finally dismissed. After changing into her street clothes, she walked tiredly to the parking lot with a cigarette in hand daydreaming of slipping into her pyjamas and crawling into bed the moment she got home. The exhaustion from consecutive late nights and long days were quickly catching up to her. As she approached the row of reserved parking spots, she noticed a dark figure leaning on the hood of her car, smoke billowing from its mouth.

“Well, aren’t you the elusive one?” She said when she realized it was, of course, Gene. His arms were crossed and he turned around to look at her.

“I’m so sorry, Judy, I forgot I had a meeting on the other end of the lot with Freed, I needed to haul ass. You have a tendency to make me forget those kinds of things,” he winked. “I was beginning to think they’d never let you outta there.”

“You and me both, darling,” she said under her breath as she joined Gene and leaned against the hood.

“Again, however, I find myself asking what are you doing here?”

“I said I wanted to see you again. You said it was alright,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I didn’t think you meant in the MGM parking lot,”

“Let go for a drive,” he beamed.

“Now?” She checked her watch, “it’s getting late,”

“Late? It’s barely eleven o’clock. I’m away for six months and you become a lark. That’s it, I’m never leaving this town again,” he teased.

Judy faintly laughed, sighing at the end.

“I won’t keep you, honestly, I’d just like to talk… please? Let’s drive for awhile.”

Gene and Judy drove down Overland, heading North with no real purpose or destination in mind. Gene kept stealing glances at Judy while the radio played a Bing Crosby tune. As he glanced over at her, staring straight ahead as though she were terrified to look at him, he couldn’t help but smile.

“So you’re not over me, huh?” He blurted.

Judy winced immediately, “fuck…”

Gene laughed.

“That letter was not meant for your eyes, I am beyond embarrassed.”

“It wasn’t? My name written on the envelope kinda threw me off.”

“I wrote that letter for myself, as a sort of diary. I thought if I got my thoughts down on paper, I could move on, get past this, us… and my half wit housekeeper went and mailed it to you,” she pursed her lips together, trying to hide a self deprecating smile.

“Sure, I’ll pretend for a moment to believe that,” he smirked.

“It’s the truth! Do you honestly think I’d send you a letter like that knowing full well the effort you’ve put into fixing your family?”

“Honestly, yes,” he half-teased.

“Ouch…”

There was a moment of silence between them, the air that was light moments ago turned strained.

“I am so sorry, Gene… I didn’t want to jeopardize the progress you and Betsy made. It was not my intention.”

“I know it wasn’t,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry I–,”

“Stop saying you’re sorry. Whether that letter was sent by accident or not, I was meant to receive it. I needed to hear what you had to say.”

“How come you never wrote me back?” She asked earnestly.

Gene sort of shrugged his shoulders, “what can I say? I like keeping you on your toes,” he smirked again, lightening the air between them once more.

“You’re an ass.”

Gene pulled off the main road, turning down a path that led to a quiet garden. The park was completely dark but it gave them the privacy both were looking for. He pulled into a parking spot and shut off the engine.

“May I ask what happened with Joe?” He pried, turning to look at her.

Judy shook her head, not in a way that was saying ‘no’ but in a way that indicated absurdity.

“That night at Ciro’s,” She began, “he took me home, he made love to me and then he told me I had to leave because,” she paused for a moment, the muscles in her neck flaring, “his wife was coming home early the next morning so they could celebrate their anniversary.” Gene tried to hide the I-told-you-so expression as she continued, “I had found a necklace in his sock drawer a few days before that, and I guess I thought it was a gift for me... It was for her. Doesn’t quite sound like a man on the brink of leaving his wife, does it?” She said with a mirthless smile.

“No, no it doesn’t.”

“I left his house that night, I didn’t hear from him again until several weeks later. I told him to go to hell. He didn’t even fight for me.”

“I’m sorry, I really am. But what did you expect involving yourself with a married man?”

“I was involved with you,” she retorted.

“That’s different, and you know it,” he said, “I love my family, Judy,” he added, staring at the steering wheel in front of him, “I love my wife,”

“I know,”

“But if I love her so much, why the fuck can’t I stop thinking about you?” He said, almost getting angry, “When I was reading your letter, it was like I could have written it to you. You are exactly that, a fucking white noise that I can’t turn off. Everything reminds me of you, I can’t escape you… and to be perfectly honest, I think it’s because I don’t want to escape you.”

“Darling…”

“I tried to write you back, believe me I fucking tried. But what was I supposed to say? What more can I say to you? I don’t regret choosing my family, I will never regret anything that has to do with my daughter but why can’t I stop loving you?”

“For the same reason I can’t. There is something real here. It’s the metaphorical elephant in the room that never leaves, not for a second.”

“So what do we do about it?”

“I haven’t a clue,” She sighed.

Gene smiled tenderly and raised his arm over her, gesturing for her to slide in to him. She shoved towards him on the seat and rested her head on his shoulder as he held her. For the first time in months, they relished in their physical contact. Gene placed a soft kiss atop her head, all the while inhaling her sweet and familiar scent. When his lips separated from her hair, Judy looked up at him with her mouth slightly parted. Her lips had never looked more inviting.

“Gene,” she whispered almost inaudibly. That was his queue to take the next step and capture her in a delicate yet heated kiss. His palm raised to her cheek before he allowed his fingers to gently graze down the side of her neck. The feel of him gave her instant goosebumps as their mouths continued in perfect harmony.

“Do you still want me?” She murmured, her lips still attached to his. Gene reached for her hand and slowly began to guide it to his trousers that were tented from his solid arousal.

“For as long as I live, I will always want you,” He answered.

He undid the zipper, reaching inside to pull himself out before placing her bare hand on him. He couldn’t help the deep groan that escaped his lips when he finally felt her around him again. He caught her in another desperate kiss as her small, delicate hand moved up and down his swollen flesh. Judy swung her leg over him and carefully lifted herself onto his lap with his assistance. He quickly began working at the buttons on her cashmere sweater, eagerly trying to free her to him. He let out a deep breath as he slid his hands over her chest to push the sweater off her shoulders. She was instantly bare to him – there was something so unbelievably erotic about her choice not to wear a bra after a long day. He smiled before lowering his mouth to her breasts, kissing and sucking each one. The waves of pleasure that coursed through her body and met up between her legs were quickly becoming unbearable.

“I’ve missed you,” he purred between kisses. Judy leaned forward, enveloping his head with her arms as she ran her dainty fingers through his jet black hair.

Judy lifted onto her knees while Gene guided his throbbing arousal through the leg of her panties. She shaped her mouth into an O as he slid effortlessly inside her. He gripped her thighs which were now much thinner than he remembered and dug his fingertips into her skin as she began to ride him faster and faster. When she went particularly hard on the up motion, her bottom hit the horn on his steering wheel, sending an obnoxiously loud sound echoing into the empty park. Judy immediately dove her face into Gene’s chest as she stifled a roaring laugh. Gene held her body against his as his lips pursed together, desperately trying not to ruin the moment.

“I’m sorry,” she snorted.

“Don’t be,” he said, smiling, taking her face in his hands again so she’d look at him. His hand slid to the back of her neck and he gripped her hair in his fists before resuming their rhythm, this time it was him leading. His pace quickened and suddenly Judy could barely catch her breath. Every thrust inside hit her in all the right places and she grasped the grab handle on the ceiling, preparing for the inevitable burst of pleasure she had been waiting so long for.

“Don’t stop,” she begged, digging her fingernails into his shoulder.

“I wasn’t planning to, baby,” he groaned.

Judy pulled in a deep breath, unable to exhale as her body began to betray her. The car felt like it was spinning as she released a soul shattering climax. Gene held on until he felt a few more tremors shake her body, then he plunged deep inside one last time and buried his face in her chest.

“Oh, my God… Judy…” he panted, feeling a rush come over him unlike anything he’d ever felt.

“My God, too…” She collapsed in his arms and he cradled her. She was so warm against him, he loved the sound of her laboured breathing becoming more and more relaxed, and the sweet audible moans she’d let out sporadically, they sounded so melodic. Neither could tell just how long they stayed like that for. All sense of timing went out the window when they came down from their vigorous aftershocks.

Gene kissed her again, soft and tenderly for a while, neither wanted the evening to end. When his hand once again cradled her cheek, his thumb caught a tear that had escaped her eye. He withdrew for a moment and looked into her misty brown eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

Judy tightened her lips, shaking her head as though she were struggling to properly convey her answer.

“I was just thinking about what a beautiful memory this night will be.”

“Why are you thinking of it as a memory?”

“Because it has to be just a memory, doesn’t it?”

“No.”

“Gene,” she looked at him, all-knowingly, “are you going to go home and leave your wife?”

He didn’t answer, only leaning his head back against the seat and closing his eyes.

“It’s not our time yet, darling,” she explained, “the time for us to act on the elephant in the room will come one day and we will know when it feels completely and unequivocally right between us. You’ll take me home tonight, I’ll go my way and you’ll go yours...”

“I hate the way that sounds… I can’t be without you for months again, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” she encouraged, “you have to.”

“Why? Why does this have to end like this?”

“It’s not ending, darling, we’re just… putting ourselves on hold. If there’s one thing I’ve realized over the course of this night with you is that being in love with you and knowing you’re still in love with me is enough. It’s enough for me to hold onto until the day comes when we can be together – no hiding, no spouses, no rules.”

Gene took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. He hated when she was right. He knew they couldn’t continue on the way they had been. Getting back together now would mean getting back together under the pretense of yet another affair. Both of them liked to think they were past that.

Gene helped Judy straighten up but kept her under his arm as they drove back towards Beverly Hills. Neither of them spoke a word the entire way there and when Gene pulled into her driveway, he looked at her for a moment, his mouth shaping up like he was about to say something. Judy pressed her index finger to her lips, silently asking him not to. Her eyes began to well up once more and she leaned forward, kissing him delicately. Gene’s lips parted slightly to receive one last warm sweep of her tongue. When they broke apart, Judy held her hands over her heart, mouthing the words I love you before getting out of the car. Gene watched as she walked up the pathway to her door and disappeared inside.

J U N E 1 9 4 5

Sitting at the kitchen table, Gene jubilantly fed Kerry her breakfast. She had grown so much, he couldn’t believe how much he’d missed in the last four months. He was very proud of the work he was doing for the Navy but it was when he was home that he couldn’t help the small feeling of regret. Betsy would try to capture as much as she could about Kerry’s development in her letters but reading about it was entirely different than witnessing it for himself. Gene was fixing a little smiley face on Kerry’s food tray with her sliced bananas, grapes and strawberries when Betsy came in from the front porch.

“Did you happen to see the papers this morning?” She asked, walking into the kitchen.

“Nope,” he said, still lost in his fruit art. Betsy tossed the paper on the table in front of him and his eyes drifted to the large black lettering.

JUDY GARLAND WEDS DIRECTOR VINCENTE MINNELLI

#jugenea #fanfic

25 notes · View notes

gingerwritess · 5 years ago

Note

ok but reader and loki debating over who's gonna be frigga's favorite when we all know it's gonna be elliot

anon has the right idea

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So baby Frigg. Let’s talk about her. She likes to cry.

Constantly.

She wails, screams, sobs, and especially at night.

After the first four nights of her being home, both you and Loki were running on two hours of sleep (combined) and trying every possible thing to get her back to sleep.

She’s devious, actually. She’ll fall asleep, stay quiet long enough for the two of you to drift back to sleep, then start thrashing again, wailing at the top of her little lungs.

Loki’s nearly in tears by the…I don’t know, seventh time tonight? He hates the sound of crying. Drives him insane, after all he’s been through, after all the crying he’s done himself.

He always starts shaking, gets all pale, starts showing most symptoms of a panic attack; now, he has layers of sleep deprivation just to add to it.

You shush him when he jolts awake again at her cries, cold sweat making his hair stick to his cheeks.

“I’ll take care of her,” you whisper, brushing a hand over his forehead. “Sleep, Loki, go back to sleep.”

“N-no, I can help—”

“Shh. I’ve got it.”

You, uh, definitely haven’t got it.

Frigg cries and cries and cries and you rock her, you feed her, you change her diaper, you sing to her, take her outside…nothing.

A thought of Elliot trying to sleep passes your mind. Already dreading waking Loki back up, you take the crying baby back inside.

“Hey, Loki.” You rub a hand over his shoulder, but he’s already awake, head shoved under a pillow. “Can you keep her cries to our room? Some kind of silencing thing, so she doesn’t wake up Elliot?”

He nods, yawns, and twitches a hand.

“Thanks, love.” Back to bouncing Frigg around the room.

Still crying, she starts shaking, too, and you hurry her back over to Loki; this might be getting out of your hands.

“Sorry, Loki, I think she’s actually in pain.” You try to nudge your sleeping husband, your baby squirming out of your hands. “Can you do something about her? Please? Is there anything we can do for her?”

No response besides a snore.

At least he’s asleep, finally. Leaving you alone to deal with this child, but hey, that’s fine, marriage is all about self sacrifice…

Tears are even starting to prick your eyes when she wakes you up again, having just quieted for about four minutes—just enough time for your head to hit the headboard and let you drift off. The constant up and down is worse than if she just kept you up all night.

But she’s back to crying, back to squirming, and Loki hasn’t moved.

You check if he’s breathing, just in case.

Maybe feeding her will help again?

Yeah…no. No luck with that. You’re back to walking her around the room, showing her her dad—who honestly might’ve slipped into a coma, judging by the fact that he doesn’t budge—trying everything you can to just get her to stop crying.

The door creaks open and a tired pair of little blue-green eyes peek inside.

“What’d you do t’her, mom?”

At that point you actually nearly break down in tears—the exhaustion just hits and you flop back onto the bed, hugging Frigg tight and slowly realising that now you have two little kids to put back to bed at four in the morning.

And Loki is asleep.

He needs it, you swear to yourself, not even trusting your composure to respond to Elliot, he needs it, he needs it—

“S’okay, mom,” Elliot quietly assures you, rubbing his eyes and coming over to pat your arm. “S’not you, she’s cryin’ for somethin’ else.”

“Wha-what?” You sit back up, blinking tears out of your bloodshot eyes. “I’m sorry we woke you up, sweetie, I thought dad did a silencing thing.”

“Nope, I heard her all night.” He reaches for his crying little sister and you gladly hand her over, making sure he’s supporting her head and holding her tight. “Hey Blueberry!”

That at least brings an almost smile to your face, and you fight to keep your eyes open as he starts rocking her in his little arms.

“It’s me, Elliot, ‘member?” He bounces her a bit, grinning down at the baby. “I’m your big brother. Can you stop crying, please? I wanna talk to ya.”

“Good luck with that,” you laugh tiredly, grabbing your pillow from under Loki’s arm—again, he doesn’t budge.

You don’t bother lowering your voice; he’s out cold.

Elliot’s little Asgardian accent drones on in the background, mixing with Frigg’s wails, lulling you further into an exhausted rest until your head drops to the pillow and faster than a blink, you’ve fallen asleep.

* * * * * * * *

It’s quiet. Too quiet.

You wake with a jolt, blinking and whipping your head around looking for your baby—what the hell did you do with her last night??

Loki still doesn’t move, not when you throw his arm off of you and fall out of bed, scrambling to your feet and coming to a screeching halt at the sight you find in front of you.

Elliot’s asleep, slumped against the wall with Frigg on his shoulder.

Asleep.

Silent.

You sit back on the mattress with a thud, mind reeling as you stare at your son holding your little baby. She’s actually asleep, and apparently for long enough to allow Elliot to fall asleep, too, all cuddled up against his neck and breathing gently and not crying.

Saying a silent thank you to Elliot, you roll right back over with a grin and throw your arms over Loki’s waist.

He finally, finally moves.

Shoots straight up in bed, breaking right through your hug, and you have to really hold back from bursting into a fit of laughter.

“What in Valhalla—”

You immediately shush him, pointing at your sleeping kids. “He got her to sleep!”

Loki blinks at you and you can’t help but laugh.

He looks adorable. Still half asleep, his hair is an absolute wreck, smushed on one side and sticking out in weird angles, and there’s lines from his pillow wrinkling indentations into his cheek.

“You still look exhausted, cutie,” you laugh quietly, leaning over to plant a kiss on his chin—okay, you were aiming for his lips, but didn’t quite fall through.

“WHAT??”

“Loki, holy sh—” you clap both hands over his mouth.

He just yelled that.

“What the hell was that for?” You hiss, praying that he didn’t just wake the kiddos back up.

“What are you—”

“Shut up shut up shut up!!”

Okay, he’s not yelling, but he’s still not being quiet.

His eyes wide, confused, and puffy with sleep, he squirms out from under your hands and points at your mouth.

Can’t hear you, he mouths.

“What?”

Can’t hear you. No sound, what did you do?

Wait a minute.

It clicks for Loki at the exact moment your eyes widen in realisation, and he quickly taps a finger on his forehead, shaking his head and blinking a couple times.

“So, uh…that’s why you slept so well.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, grabbing you and pulling you into a tight hug. “Gods, I’m so, so sorry, I thought I put it over our whole room, not just you and Frigg—”

“I’m offended,” you laugh, twisting around in his arms to pat his chest. “You really put a spell on your wife, just so you could sleep?”

“I didn’t mean—oh gods, I’m so sorry, did you get any sleep?” He runs a hand over your face, holding you away so he can look at you, inspect your tired face. “You look exhausted, love, I’m so sorry…”

“Gee, thanks, honey.” Pushing his hand away, you scoot forward and nestle into his arms, still wanting to go back to sleep. “You don’t look too hot yourself.”

“No, gods, that’s not what I meant—”

“I’m kidding,” you laugh, pulling him back down for a kiss. “Go to sleep, Elliot’s doing our job right now.”

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, “even exhausted, you’re beautiful beyond belief.”

“Okay, sleepyhead, I said I was kidding.”

“I’m still sorry, I didn’t mean to do that—mmm.”

Maybe you had to practically crawl on top of him, push him back onto his pillow, and smash your lips to his, but hey.

At least now he won’t wake Elliot or Frigg.

“Thanks, Elliot,” Loki mumbles, drawing you into his arms and tucking you under his chin.

“Yeah,” you giggle, hugging him closer, “thanks, Elliot. Whatever you’re doing, don’t stop.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted @kerri-masson @iamverity @innaminitus @spnbarnes

#loki x reader #loki reader insert #loki imagine #loki x reader fluff #loki request #dad!loki #domestic!loki fluff #loki fanfiction #loki drabbles #loki fluff #loki laufeyson #sleepy loki #loki x you #elliot lokason #frigg lokadóttir #elliot lokison

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kerryxday · 4 years ago

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I’m sure this is riddled with typos but here is my phoenix old man. He’s a retired rocker who got his life together and is trying to make up for his mistakes. Now a counselor at the clinic and the university, stop by sometime for some yerba mate or, perhaps, to pet his pet bloodhound Cher. Very soft spoken, very mellow, life’s too short to be an asshole kind of fellow. Take it from him. He was an asshat and regrets most of his life choices.

(KEANU REEVES, 51, HE/HIM) We have been waiting for a while, but KERRY DAY was finally spotted in the village today. People heard whispers that they are a PHOENIX that is hellbent on [ fixing ] the veils. Will they succeed? Only time can tell. Until then we will keep a close eye on them as they listen to THE DANCE BY GARTH BROOKS and search for @thewrightwitch, their DAUGHTER.

Adopted by two wonderful ladies Kerry had a great childhood in 1970′s California full of love and music and laughter.

His mothers were... Admittedly a couple of hippies, so he was introduced to all the peace and love, crystal jazz from a young age.

He really didn’t think much of it until he was in his teens, he thought his family dynamic was pretty normal. It really wasn’t, but what’s “normal” anyway?

Kerry took an interest in music from a young age and while he wasn’t a bad student he just had a dream and that was to make it big.

His moms were supportive if not... hesitant. And while they weren’t particularly pleased he dropped out of college almost immediately he had passion and was committed. Those were good qualities... right?

He spent a lot of time car hopping or sleeping on floors or his friend’s couches. At one point living out of his car. He had a spark, and some talent and one hell of a personality and he wouldn’t take no for an answer which eventually caught the eye of the right people at the right time.

His career didn’t just progress, it skyrocketed and suddenly he was a kid with a shit ton of money, and a sudden burst of fame, traveling the world and partying as hard as he wanted to.

The studio he was signed to chopped off the hyphen of his last name because Kerry Day was just far catchier and Kerry let them. He wanted this so badly he’d do whatever it took. Let them reimagine his whole image, threw away the hippie duds for some good ol’ fashion rock and roll.

It was... not a sustainable way to live. He was honestly a terror. He fought with his band members all the time, was hard to be around, smoked and drank and fucked like it was nobodies business. I mean, that’s what happens when you give a 19 year old a bunch of cash and the ok to do whatever. He just... went wild.

Of course, he was going to burn out. And when he did the first time it was at the cost of his band, breaking up for good on bad terms. Kerry regrets this to this day, having lost some of his best friends. But at the time he was too stupid to understand their value. And off he went to start his solo career.

He did pretty well for himself, calmed down a bit. Fell in love. You know. All that good stuff. That’s not to say his drug use or drinking had really subsided. He went to rehab before sure, but never stayed. And it made for a turbulent relationship with his wife. Even more so when they had children.

It was around this time that Kerry was pretty much forced to go talk to a therapist where he was diagnosed with Bipolar 1. He didn’t take it well.

From that point on he delved himself deeper into his work. Refusing to medicate. He wasn’t as good of a father as he could have been (and definitely a shit husband) he knows that. He felt like he made so many mistakes and it didn’t make any logical sense but he figured that if he ran from them fast enough they’d go away. Stupid, really. And selfish.

At a certain point he and his wife weren’t really together anymore. He did his own thing she and the kids did theirs. Divorce was the logical next step.

That’s where his love of motorcycles and love of drinking got him in trouble. And you know maybe he was being reckless on purpose, trying to nudge fate in one direction or another. But that’s not how fate works.

Long story short he got into a bike crash. Totaled his bike, and his body. But he didn’t die which... kind of was the plan. No he rose from the fire when he should have been dead and that was buck wild and provided him some sort of clarity. He had to get his life together. And he was actually the dumbest man alive to have let things get so bad.

Kerry still doesn’t really understand what being a phoenix entails. He never knew his birth parents, so he can’t exactly ask them for guidance. And maybe he lowkey thinks this was just some divine decision on Shiva’s part. So he’d start getting his shit together. He couldn’t even put a name to his species. He thinks he’s human. Just a little quirky maybe.

Anyway, he called his ex-wife and told her he was checking himself into rehab.

He wrote his kids letters all the time, a practice he would continue after he got out and to this day. Never got a response. And when he reached out to their mother she made it clear he’d caused them enough pain and she was right. They had his address and contact information in the letters if they ever decided to reach out to him.

He went back to school and finished this time. Then went on to get a graduate degree to become a mental health counselor. He got into a yoga routine. Adopted a dog. Meditated. Medicated. Committed to a straight edge lifestyle. Reached out to his old band mates and repaired those relationships. Got himself a little barn just outside of Wildemount. And said goodbye to fame for good. He couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t worth it. And he was much better mentally and emotionally now.

Currently he works as a counselor at the clinic and at Wildemount University. He really wanted to work with kids who were around his age when he dropped out.

He brings his bloodhound to his office with him and has happily returned to his peace and love routes. He talks with his moms almost every day. Still writes his kids letters. Still no response. But his actions have consequences, and he’d have to live with them.

Still hopes that one day he’ll hear back from one of them. One day.

#veils:intro #so little time so much to know ( kerry | musings )#tw addiction #tw car accident

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timaeusterrored · 11 months ago

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(The Red Dress)

((No smut but everyone is indeed horny. How could you not be though?))

The good thing about being with V is that he was always on time. Kerry never question how he did it, freshly showered and clothed and smelling amazing. But this time, he was late. And instead of angry, Kerry was worried. He was never late.

30 minutes had passed and Ker was hiding his worry well, drinking and laughing with old friends. But Dino knew his friend’s faces like the back of his hand. And Kerry hated it.

“What’s up, Ker? You keep glancin’ at the door.”

“Don’t call me that. And Vax is late… he’s never late-“

The words died in the rocker’s throat as his husband appeared in the crowd, wearing a very tight red dress that showed off everything in all the right places. It was about knee length, and sleeves to cover his blades but tight enough to show the shoulders Kerry loved so much.

“Dips.” Dino was promptly shut up by Kerry’s death glare. This one was his.

“Heeeeey, hon. I’m so fucking-“ Vax looked like a pleading husband trying to apologize to his spouse, but Kerry was having none of it. All lateness forgiven now. He pulled him into a downright nasty kiss, making sure everyone knew who this man belonged too.

“How long did you stare at yourself in the mirror before you actually left?” Ker muttered, pulling back to admire the makeup on his eyes and lips- oops. He fucked up his lipstick a little bit.

“A while. It’s the reason I’m late.”

That actually broke Kerry’s heart a little bit… but the fact he still left the house looking like this was progress.

“Ya look great, doll. A little too great.” Stars and edgerunners alike were looking at V like he was meal, and Dino was still stalking behind them. Kerry held his prize a little closer, focusing on him. It was hard to look away.

“So is this a new thing now? You gonna let me buy those dresses you stare at?” V’s face reddened, damn near matching the color of his hair as he had been caught. Kerry saw him staring longingly at dresses he’d never allow himself to wear.

“Let’s just see how tonight goes. Don’t push it.” Vax muttered, being pulled as close as humanly possible.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, lover.” Kerry whispered, but his next attempt at a kiss was interrupted. This was suddenly going to be a very long night.

At around 11pm, the couple had gone missing. Dino assumed they had either done an Irish goodbye or went out to smoke. But checking outside showed both of their cars still there and no signs of them smoking together.

Dino’s mind wandered again to V in that fucking dress and Kerry the untouchable. The fixer knew his chances with Ker were probably long gone, Vax wasn’t known for his willingness to share very easily, but also Dino was so for having both of them. Vax wasn’t known for that either though.

On his way back to the party, passing a few couples making out in the hallway, he walked past a door he had been meaning to fix ages ago and just never got around too. But it didn’t close all the way.

And it gave him a view of Night City’s bad boy pressed against a wall. And Kerry Eurodyne on his knees. It was a sight to behold, especially with Vax tending to be so closed off about his sexual preferences.

He wasn’t close enough to actually hear anything but Kerry stood up, wiping his mouth and Vax pulled him in for a kiss. Dino had to walk away.

The couple reappeared a few minutes later at the bar, Vax complaining about the heels killing his feet and how he didn’t understand how Venus or Louise could do this. When Kerry suggested just taking them off, Vax stared at him like he was an idiot… fair.

Dino was fighting for his life behind the bar, talking to some old friends and clients. Neither of them had any right acting like they weren’t the hottest couple in the room. God if Venus and Johnny were here, Dino would be done for.

“You ready to delta?” Kerry whispered after about 30 minutes, and god yes Vax was. He was exhausted and his feet hurt. And he felt like being in a dress got him some princess privileges.

“You’re driving.” Vax smiled, kissing Kerry’s cheek as he stood up. “And the heels are coming off in the car.”

“Figured they would. Lemme go find D and say bye.” Kerry left his husband to finish off his drink and say bye to some of the edgerunners he knew, while Kerry went to look for Dino.

He found the fixer outside, leaned against the wall with a drink.

“We’re getting out of here, the mister’s in pain.” Dino snorted at Kerry’s tease.

“Y’know, I feel like he’s earned that. Dudes so fuckin uptight all the time.”

“It’s just anxiety. We’re working on it.” Kerry shrugged, his jacket gone and left only in a silk blue shirt that was unbuttoned, and Ker was watching Dino’s eyes trace it.

“Anyway, thanks for the invite.”

“Of course, can let my favorite fixer/rocker star couple miss out. See ya.”

Kerry waved, noticing Dino’s rather odd behavior. But he said nothing as he went to collect his man and take him home.

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tabloidtoc · 4 years ago

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Us, July 13

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani wedding countdown

Page 1: First Look -- Kerry Washington doing yoga

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Rachel Brosnahan vs. Nicky Hilton Rothschild ✅, Tessa Thompson ✅ vs. Kaia Gerber

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Hoda Kotb on being home with fiance Joel Schiffman, Tiffany Haddish reflecting on her future career choices, Bobby Berk recounting the time a RHONYC star stole from his showroom, Miley Cyrus recalling her recovery from vocal surgery in 2019, Michelle Obama on ending racial inequality

Page 8: Contents

Page 10: Hot Pics -- Kylie Jenner goes blonde while out in Beverly Hills, Prince William visits Oxford Vaccine Group researchers to learn about their progress in the fight against Covid-19

Page 12: Pregnant Ciara, Scout Willis dances like nobody’s watching, Emilia Clarke plays fetch with her dog Ted in a London park

Page 13: The cast of Jersey Shore with host Steve Harvey on Celebrity Family Feud, Bella Hadid in a black bikini for a photo shoot, Britney Spears and Sam Asghari wear masks at the beach

Page 14: Natural Instinct -- stars get the itch to spend time outside -- David Beckham with a walking stick, Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich in Joshua Tree, Christie Brinkley and son Jack in Sag Harbor, Henry Golding and wife Liv Lo camping in Big Bear Lake

Page 15: The entire Kardashian-Jenner clan including Stormi’s dad Travis Scott and Kourtney Kardashian relax at Kanye West’s home in Wyoming

Page 16: Summer Sets -- coordinated cuties are safe and chic in masking masks -- Farrah Abraham and her daughter Sophia, Lizzo, Olivia Culpo, Busy Philipps, Nancy Pelosi

Page 20: Stars They’re Just Like Us -- Pierce Brosnan dries off with a towel, Ali Larter buys groceries from Whole Foods, Camila Alves cooks, Diane Kruger goes to the dentist

Page 22: Stars’ Kids They’re Just Like Us -- Kevin Hart’s son Kenzo is ready to get down to business, Sutton Foster and daughter Emily garden, Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade’s daughter Kaavia checks herself out in a mirror, Pink and Carey Hart’s daughter Willow practices archery

Page 24: Love Lives -- For Kelly Rowland hunkering down with husband Tim Weatherspoon has reminded her why she fell in love with him in the first place

Page 25: Artem Chigvintsev and Nikki Bella’s love is built to last, Lady Gaga and Michael Polansky have been having a lot of fun together, Nina Dobrev and Shaun White attended Camila Morrone’s birthday yacht party and they’re very comfortable around each other

Page 26: Hollywood Moms -- Beverley Mitchell on her pregnancy and kids Kenzie and Hutton

Page 28: Hot Hollywood -- Meghan Markle and Jessica Mulroney’s friendship is canceled; Meghan decided to cut ties with her bestie after the stylist was accused of racist bullying against influencer Sasha Exeter and while Jessica publicly apologized for her remarks on Instagram Meghan was offended when her designer pal dragged her name into it

Page 29: The hackers who attacked Grubman Shire Meiselas & Sacks the high-powered entertainment law firm whose clients include Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj and LeBron James posted a new threat saying they’re ready to auction off information on the A-listers starting at $600,000 a pop, ever since Jimmy Kimmel who’s been under heavy fire for performing in black face in the ‘90s revealed he’d be taking time off for a summer vacation some have wondered if the late-night talk show host is ever coming back to TV but Jimmy says it’s nonsense

Page 30: A Day in the Life At-Home Edition -- Stephen “tWitch” Boss and Allison Holker show how they isolate

Page 32: Cover Story -- Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton’s dream wedding -- the sweet duo are pulling out all the stops as they gear up to finally say I Do

Page 36: David Foster -- the soundtrack of my life -- the accomplished composer chats about Netflix’s documentary David Foster: Off the Record

Page 38: Reunited and It Feels So Good -- breaking up is hard to do so these couples got back together sometimes more than once -- Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom, John Legend and Chrissy Teigen, Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid

Page 39: Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade, Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell, Prince William and Kate Middleton, Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos

Page 40: Style -- Hollywood’s latest jewelry obsession is fun mismatched earrings

Page 42: Beauty -- Save Our Skin -- Victoria Beckham

Page 44: Us Musts -- Padma Lakshmi mixes up activism and cuisine on her new show Taste the Nation

Page 45: Entertainment

Page 46: Fashion Police -- puff-sleeve edition -- Olivia Colman, Cate Blanchett, Zoe Kazan

Page 47: Chloe Sevigny, Camila Cabello, Eliza Scanlen

Page 48: 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me -- Neal McDonough

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mearcatsreturns · 6 years ago

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Hope for Dummies, chapter 2

There's not a guidebook to hope, but they could sure use one.

Abby’s and Luka’s feelings deepen, even as the reality of being a med student and attending physician starts to sink in.

Look, I should just accept who I am as a person, and know that it's 50/50 that a one-shot will stay that. @somekindofflowergirl did egg me on, but really, I didn't want to leave this 'verse just yet. I'm planning for 4 chapters now, sigh.

Also, I'm not a medical professional, so please excuse any errors you find in that regard.

Also on ao3. Over 5k words this chapter.

Ch. 2

Luka ends up staying in the hospital a few more days than he’d like. Of course, anything more than overnight qualifies, but his pleas to leave are met with emphatic no’s from all the doctors who see him, especially when they find out he sold his bed and was planning on sleeping on his couch.

Finally, Abby offers to let him sleep at her place until he’s well enough to buy a new bed for his apartment. “Besides, I’m a nurse and can check on him to make sure he’s following doctors’ orders,” she tells his ICU doctor and Kerry.

Both of them judiciously ignore Kerry’s eyerolls. They cannot, however, keep from blushing when he’s okayed to leave, on the condition that they “keep...activities...to a minimum” while he heals.

She still has work, so it’s not like she’s waiting on him as his own personal nurse or anything, though the mental image of that does make his eyes glaze over in a way that has nothing to do with illness.

She drives him back to her apartment and helps him up the stairs, which does manage to quench his ardor. In fact, by the time she assists him into her bed—a place he’s dreamt of being again for the last two years—he’s so tuckered out that he falls asleep immediately.

When he wakes up and wanders out, she’s in the living room watching television, and he startles her with his quiet, “Hey.”

“Shit! You’re awake!”

“Slept a whole lot, but I think I’m hungry now. And besides, you need to go to bed soon too, don’t you?”

“Luka, I was planning on sleeping on the couch. You don’t fit, and you’re healing.”

He sighs. “But you need your rest. You’re working a lot and need to sleep better.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m just trying to take more shifts before I start med school again so I’ll be a little better off financially,” she says.

“Abby…”

After a couple moments, Abby throws her hands up in concession. “Fine, but I’m not kicking you out. For the little bit that we’re both here, we can share. Unless...you hate that idea.”

Luka really didn’t have words for how much he opposite-of-hates the idea, even if his vision of sharing a bed was very different. “No, I just—I take up a lot of space, and I still get feverish sometimes.”

“Hopefully the fevers will subside soon. And I know how much space you take up, it’s fine,” she says, cheeks his new favorite shade of red.

He smiles. “I’ll try not to be all over you. And it’s just until I get a new bed.”

Looking very much like she’s about to protest, she eventually just says, “I have next Tuesday off, and I can take you shopping for a bed if you’re feeling up to it.”

“That will be nice.”

“Okay. Oh, and there’s some chicken noodle soup from the deli in the fridge for you.”

“Okay.”

&&&

He is feeling better on Tuesday, so they head out mid-morning to a mattress store. It’s simultaneously torture and bliss sharing Abby’s bed, but he really is doing far too well to do so without it being a flimsy and transparent excuse at this point. She’s just as ornery in the mornings as he remembers, but the soft warmth of her nestled up to him in slumber is so comfortable. And it occasionally also makes for uncomfortable moments while he tries to will away his body’s reactions to her nearness.

So yes, it’s time for him to buy a bed and go back to his apartment, though he doesn’t really want to be away from her again.

As soon as they go into the retailer, a salesperson comes up to them. “Looking for a new bed for you two, Mr. and Mrs…?”

Luka can feel the color heating his cheeks, and Abby undoubtedly matches. “Oh, ah, we’re not married.”

“Well, that’s certainly not a problem for us,” the salesman says with a wink.

He glances over at Abby, breathing a sigh of relief at how obviously torn she is between mortification and amusement. She leans into amusement. “Well, show us your king-size beds. I mean, look at this giant.”

With a knowing smirk at them, the salesman leads them to that section of the store, Luka just shaking his head all the while.

Eventually, Luka settles on one that’s firm enough for his taste, but Abby still sighs happily when she sinks down into it. A few blocks away, he manages to find a bedroom set he likes and some bedding. While she doesn’t weigh in much, he does try to pick things that she doesn’t grimace at (she did not care for the black leather headboard he’d been eyeing briefly, alas).

By then he’s tired, and they go back to her place for one last evening together like this. His new furniture is to be delivered the next day while she’s at work, though she promises to come over when she’s off to make sure he gets settled in and isn’t overdoing it.

Back at her place, they change into their pajamas and settle onto the couch to watch TV before going to sleep. Luka aches at the simple domesticity of it, and for a moment, he wishes he didn’t have to leave, or that there were some loophole for them to pursue this right now.

Instead, as they climb into the bed that night, he just says, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For letting me stay here, and for looking out for me so that I didn’t have to stay at the hospital.”

She reaches out and squeezes his bicep as she gets comfortable beside him. “It’s no trouble, Luka. Consider it my way of trying to pay you back for letting me stay with you for two months.”

“Mmm, you don’t owe me a debt or anything. Besides, you didn’t sleep in my bed back then,” he says, taking her hand in his.

“I think...that would have gone very differently.”

He laughs. “Yeah, probably.” There are a million things he wants to say, but now isn’t the time so instead, he just sighs, adding, “Good night, Abby.”

“‘Night, Luka.”

&&&

Due to a scheduling snafu, it’s a couple days after he’s moved back into his place before Abby can come over to see how he’s getting settled in again.

She arrives at nearly ten, and after he shows her how his new furniture is set up, they go for a walk. It’s a nice late summer night, they’re young-ish, and it shouldn’t be wasted.

They end up walking near the lake along the same path they took on their first date, and Luka laughs, pointing this out to Abby as they sit at one of the benches.

Her mouth quirks upward. “Well, I kept an eye on the shadows. No muggers tonight.”

Snorting, he changes the subject. “You start med school again tomorrow. Excited?”

“Yeah, it should be good. I’m doing a surgical rotation, so I won’t be in the ER as much, unfortunately. When do you start back at work?”

“Next week. I wanted to go in sooner, but Kerry wants me to take it slow at first. Why surgery?”

“Oh, I promise I’m not defecting to become a surgeon. I just think it’s really useful if you’re an ER doctor,” she says.

He nods. “It is. Though I’m glad you’re not wanting to be a surgeon. You’re not arrogant enough.”

“Do you think I could get there with some practice, though?”

“No, it seems like a skill they’re born with.”

She giggles, and he beams, glowing at having amused her. “Oh, the new nurse who’s taking over for me started today.”

“Yeah?”

“She seems okay. She’s a single mom, so...all the respect, but she’s kind of intense.”

“And she’s the nurse manager?”

“Nah, I think they’re making Connie do that for now, but they just needed someone else since I am abandoning nursing.”

“I’m sure she’ll get used to it, but no one can compare to you,” Luka says loyally.

Abby huffs. “That’s very sweet of you to say, but honestly, I hated being nurse manager. I’d rather just be with the patients.”

“I understand. I know I could maybe have bigger prospects if I wanted to do something in administration like Kerry, but…”

“Yeah.”

The bask in the relative calm of the evening, staring out at the water. Finally, Luka breaks the comfortable silence. “So, nervous?”

“Yes and no. It’ll be weird to start med school again after three years. I won’t know any of the other students anymore, and in some ways, the approach to medicine between nursing and doctoring is completely different. But, you know, I’ve done it before, and the faces will be familiar.”

“I’m so sorry,” he says with a grin.

“Oh, shut up. Some of those faces are very nice,” she says, lightly punching his arm.

“Hmm, I wonder who you can be thinking of.”

“Susan, obviously.”

“I never knew you felt that way about her.”

“I would have said something sooner, but you know how it is. She and Chuck are actually still seeing each other, by the way.”

“Her ex-husband, the flight nurse?” Luka asks, glad the streetlights aren’t bright enough to show how he’s blushing. Catching Susan and Chuck together always reminds him of when Susan caught him, which now just makes him think of someone catching him and Abby...he shakes his head before he can get too distracted.

“Yep. I don’t know how serious they are, but that’s a thing.” Abby shrugs as if to say she doesn’t get it.

“Hmm. Well, you’ll have to tell me all the gossips at the hospital. You know I don’t know anything unless people tell me.”

She smiles, scooching closer to him to bump his thigh with her knee. “Of course. I’ll tell you all about the new med students and residents so you’ll be prepared.”

“Shit, is Romano still the acting Chief of the ER?”

Abby groans. “Unfortunately.”

“Ugh.”

“On the bright side, he probably won’t be for long. I’m taking bets for who murders him first.”

They exchange a look before saying in unison, “Kerry!” He can’t help laughing, and soon she joins in.

&&&

Abby’s kind of glad Luka isn’t there for her first week back in med school. It goes well enough, but it’s a little bit of a struggle adjusting to all being new (again) and yet not. She’s up in surgery, so working with Elizabeth is a nice change of pace.

Elizabeth is finally starting to dip her toes back into the dating world, which, good for her. Abby’s glad to see her moving on, even if she still seems hesitant. Then again, Abby can’t imagine losing someone like that she loved, had committed her life to. If Luka hadn’t come back from Africa, if his malaria had been worse...and they weren’t even dating. She pushes it out of her mind, unwilling to dwell on the ramifications of that when she has patients to see.

Luka is coming back today. Well, he’s already back, Abby just needs a reason to head on down to the ER to say hello. She hasn’t seen him since their walk the previous week, but they’ve talked on the phone a couple of times. She’s filled him in on the other two med students she sees a lot, Neela and Lester. Neither of them are exactly outgoing or social, but maybe she’ll warm up to them.

“Abby, I have to do this emergency appendectomy, but the ER is calling for a surgical consult. Do you think you could head down?” Elizabeth asks apologetically.

Jumping at the opportunity, Abby tries to respond as casually as she can, “Sure. Absolutely. Who needs the consult?”

“Dr. Kovač, I believe. There’s a trauma with a penetrating knife wound.”

“Okay, I’ll head down.”

“And Abby? Say hello to Luka for me,” Elizabeth says, visibly holding in a laugh at Abby’s excitement.

Abby’s face burns, but she hurries to the elevator nonetheless.

She heads over to Trauma 2 as quickly as she can, smiling at the sight of Luka showing Pratt and Lester one of his techniques for maintaining a patient’s status when the severity of the injury is still unknown while Sam keeps an eye on the patient’s vitals. “Hey, I heard someone needed a surgical consult?”

Luka’s face lights up at the sight of her. “Yes, that’s us. Nice to see you down here.”

“Thanks. What have we got?”

“Penetrating wound to the lower abdomen, but we need to know if the metal missed the organs or if he’ll need surgery.”

“Is this an assault case? I heard it was a knife.”

“Accidental and not a knife, actually, but his work foreman removed the metal when he panicked?”

“Okay, well let me take a look,” she says, pulling on a pair of gloves, still smiling at Luka.

“And Abby?”

“Yeah?”

“The white coat looks good on you.”

&&&

They all start to get back into the swing of things. Whenever Abby’s and Luka’s shifts intersect or overlap, they get in the habit of going for coffee together at the Jumbo Mart or at the Roach Coach before shifts start or during breaks. Abby wonders if Luka gets nearly as many knowing looks as she does, or if he simply doesn’t notice. Maybe he’s just better at ignoring them.

“When are you coming back down from surgery? We miss you,” he says, putting on his best puppy dog look. They’re sitting at the dinky little table in the lounge with their styrofoam cups of steaming coffee.

That face should be illegal, she thinks. “I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder.”

“Well, I’m plenty fond already. When are you done with your rotation?”

“Um...a couple weeks, at the beginning of October. I still have a couple more six-week non-ER rotations to go, though, and I’m not sure if I want to leave them to the end.”

“You should leave them for the end.”

“I should?” She’s uncertain. While he wouldn’t lead her astray as a doctor, she needs to make sure his reasons are...professional.

“Yes. Next year, you’ll be in the ER all the time. For the rest of your life you might be. So save them for the new year, and enjoy the little break before the ER takes you back.” Luka’s unflagging confidence in her as a doctor, as always, warms her.

She smiles at him. “That makes sense. I’m thinking...NICU and Psych? My experience in OB could help, and god knows I’ve been around Psych enough.”

“Those sound good,” he says with a smile, before he looks away. “Uh, listen, Abby...speaking of absence and fondness…”

Her heart sinks and she just looks at him.

He clears his throat and continues, “Carter and I have, ah, been keeping in touch.”

“Oh, okay?” Is he leaving (her) again?

Luka runs a hand through his hair, and she represses the urge to reach over and straighten it. “He’s started seeing someone. And...he thinks it might be serious.”

“Wow, already?” She’s not hurt, not really. It’s just fast, and she resents that she can’t exactly pursue what she wants with Luka right now. But there’s also relief in knowing that this is the news, not that Luka wants to go back.

“Yeah, apparently they met in Kinshasa after he took me there. I don’t know her, other than what Carter has told me.”

He still sounds nervous, so she reaches over and places her hand over his. “Luka, it’s fine. I’m just glad he got you back safely.”

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean, I’m not thrilled, but Carter and I are done.”

Leaning back in his char, he considers her, though he places his other hand over hers, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. “I just...I know you lo—cared about him a lot, and you put a lot into your relationship. I didn’t want you to be hurt if you found out from someone else.”

“I did care a lot, and I loved him—as a friend. But we were pretty doomed from the start. He wanted to change me, and I was, I don’t know...looking for stability? It felt like we should work because we were such good friends, so it was hard to admit that we both fell short of each other’s expectations.” Her throat is a little dry at offering up so much, but Luka needs to know.

“He did care about you too, though.”

“I know. But he also had this vision of me that wasn’t—isn't—who I am, and he tried to get us to fit this idea he had of us.” She blows out a breath and takes a gulp of coffee before continuing, staring down at her cup. In for a penny, in for a pound, she decides, continuing, “I kind of mentioned it before—before you went to the Congo, but one of the things I regretted from when you and I were dating is that I let Carter come between us. If I had kept you closer, the same thing would have happened between Carter and me, and I didn’t want that. Not because...not because he mattered more, but I just—I don’t want to be the girl who doesn’t learn from her mistakes. I did so much to make that relationship with him work, Luka, but I don’t think it should be that hard.”

He pulls his hands away from hers and wraps them around his cup, not meeting her eyes. “We tried before and didn’t make it work.”

“I know. But I also don’t think it’s that simple. We didn’t try as hard as we could have, and we just didn’t talk about stuff, and there was so much going on. I cared so much it scared me, but I...I didn’t really know how you felt.”

Luka sets down his cup and reaches for her with both hands, turning her to face him. “I don’t want you to doubt that I care. Ever.”

“Then tell me. Talk to me.”

“I’ll try. But sometimes I’m better at showing,” he says, leaning toward her. His lips are an inch away when the door bursts open, and Susan comes rushing in. They jump apart.

“Hey guys, sorry, but we have multiple GSWs coming in. Luka, I need you out there. And Abby, stick around in case we need a surgical consult.”

Giving each other one last longing look, they follow after Susan.

&&&

Luka wants to bring up that they nearly kissed again, he really does. Or better yet, actually kiss Abby. It just doesn’t happen that day, or the following. Then they’re not scheduled together for a while or are busy with other things for so long that he just about loses his nerve.

Meanwhile, Alex—the son of that new nurse, Sam—starts coming around more, trying to spend time with him. Luka can’t say no to him, no more than he can to any child. Sam doesn’t seem to like it or him, but he doesn’t much care.

Finally, Abby is done with her surgical rotation and comes back to the ER. He comes in one day to find her at the admit desk, going over something on the computer, and he can’t stop the grin from spreading across his face. “It’s a stranger!”

Her brow furrows in confusion before smoothing out, her lips twitching with amusement. “Generally, it’s ‘hey, stranger,’ but sure.”

“Good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back.”

At that moment, Romano comes by, snapping his fingers at him and Abby. “We don’t pay you to stand around and make time with nurses, Mr. Croatia. Or nurses pretending to be doctors, whatever you are this month, Lockhart. Let’s go, people.”

Luka clenches his jaw, but Abby catches his eye and places her hand on his forearm as they head away from the admit desk.

“Well, Dr. Kovač, can I observe the patient that just came in?” she asks with a roll of her eyes.

“Not only that, but you can place the chest tube,” he says, relaxing at how easily she brushes off Romano’s nasty words.

They get the patient taken care of, then head to lockup to get the meds the woman will need. He lets Abby handle it to make sure she can handle prescriptions. She can, of course, so when she’s about to leave, he reaches for her hand, pulling her back into the small space.

She squeaks as she nearly crashes into his chest. Steadying her, he pulls her closer.

“We got interrupted a couple weeks ago.”

Her eyes drop as a blush spreads across her cheeks, though she doesn’t pull away. “I thought you’d forgotten. It’s been a while.”

“I didn’t forget, I just…”

She looks up at him questioningly. Ah, to hell with words. Luka lowers his head and brushes his lips across hers. He pulls back, raising his eyebrows to see if he’s overstepped. When he sees that her eyes are closed and she just leans into him further, he presses his lips to hers in a far more demanding kiss. She returns it with enthusiasm, and he’s running through his extensive knowledge of the hospital’s layout to think of the closest supply closet when he hears a giggle.

They pull apart and freeze at the sight of Haleh laughing as she walks away from the entrance to lockup. Turning toward each other, they stare helplessly.

Finally, Abby clears her throat. “So, that was…”

“Yeah,” he agrees, letting out a breath.

She hesitates, then says, “Um, maybe we should continue this—this discussion!—later?”

“Sounds like a good idea,” he says, missing her as soon as she walks away to get back to work.

&&&

It doesn’t happen, at least not in the way they intend. It’s the next day when they’re working together that what’s growing between them sputters to a halt.

He’s supervising her when she tells their patient that the procedure that will help him is a simple one, a quick fix with no lasting repercussions. Abby’s heart sinks when he makes a face and asks to speak to her outside the room.

“Abby...it won’t be as simple as that. It looks like he probably retained some infected tissue from his last procedure. Surgery is going to have to operate, and they may even need to amputate.”

She pales. “I—I didn’t realize...it didn’t seem…”

“That’s why it’s important to take a thorough history and not make any promises before you know the full extent of the injury or illness,” Luka says, eyes searching her face.

“I’m sorry. I just thought...nine times out of ten…”

“I know. You’ll learn, Abby. We’ve all had to.” He’s still looking at her as if there’s more he wants to say, but that this is also horrifyingly embarrassing and he doesn’t know how.

She looks down. “Thanks.”

“Now for the hard part.”

Taking a deep breath, she nods. “I have to go in and tell him I was wrong.”

“Yes.”

So Abby goes in, feeling all the while that she’s lost something. She only hopes it’s not Luka’s respect.

&&&

Luka finds Abby in the lounge when her shift is over. She looks so glum and sad, and he knows that what he has to say probably won’t help, and he aches. He just can’t see a way around it.

“Hey,” he says.

She looks up, and her mouth twists in a half-hearted smile. “Hi.”

“Want to get coffee? You can tell me how the rest of the shift went.”

“Sure,” she says. She’s the farthest thing from an idiot, so she obviously knows their conversation will be more than that.

They walk over to the Jumbo Mart and he buys her a coffee. They head out from there, walking aimlessly. He’ll have to go back in, but they need to talk, and he prays with everything in him that he doesn’t mangle things.

“It...it went okay. I sent Mr. Johnson up to surgery, and they’re going to try to go in and remove all the infected tissue before considering amputation. He was upset, but not really with me. Which was worse, somehow,” Abby says when they’re nearing one of the parks.

“It’s hard,” is all he manages for a while. Finally, he clears his throat, toying with the sleeve on his coffee cup. “I...I want nothing more than to kiss you and tell you it’s going to be okay, but I can’t. Kiss you, that is.”

Her face falls, and she turns her head away from him. “Right.”

“Not because I don’t want it, eh? I-I just can’t be your teacher and this. I’m not objective, and it’s not fair to you or the other med students.”

“I know,” she says, letting out a sigh. “It’s for the best, probably. I really did miss you as my friend, Luka. We’ll still have that, right?”

He sets down his coffee cup and reaches over to place his hand on her shoulder. “You can never lose me as a friend. You just, well...even when we weren’t connecting a lot, I always knew I could count on you, even when I didn’t deserve it.”

Her answering smile is bittersweet, and she puts her hand over his. “That’s how I feel too, you know. And there’s no ‘deserving’ in friendship, okay?”

“Okay. Uhh, want a ride home?” He forgets that he has to go back in his desire not to part from her, then decides he’ll make it work if he has to.

“Um, no, but thanks. I need to swing by the store on my way home.”

“Send me a text or page when you get home? It’s late.”

She stands, stepping away from him. She’s still smiling, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Will do.”

Luka watches her until she disappears from sight, then finally turns back to walk to the hospital, his heart heavier than it has been in months.

&&&

They’re doing okay at this friendship thing, Abby thinks with a smile as Luka walks away. It hasn’t been without its awkward moments, but they can still get coffee and talk and joke, and they even went to the movies a few days ago. It works.

It’s Thanksgiving, but that doesn’t mean they get the day off, especially not with Romano on his bitter rampage against happiness and joy. Still, it’s not enough to dampen her spirits. She’s back from her lunch break that she spent reviewing for her boards with Luka’s help. It’s strangely invigorating, having him quiz her, in a way it isn’t when she and Neela try to help each other out.

She’s interrupted in her musing by Sam coming up beside her. Sam follow’s Abby’s gaze to Luka and raises her eyebrows. “So, what’s his story? He’s been spending a lot of time with Alex, and he’s obviously a good guy, but...I have to ask.”

“He’s a wonderful man,” Abby says firmly.

Sam’s look turns speculative. “Is he single? Alex is pushing that hard, and I’ve heard enough that it seems like he might be a good time. I haven’t gotten laid regularly in forever, and I sure wouldn’t mind if he’s willing.”

Abby tries not choke, even as she fights the urge to yell, “Mine!” Luka is her friend, but that’s all they are right now. She has no claim over him, and yeah, he probably misses female companionship, since he sure hasn’t had any that she’s aware of since getting back from the Congo. “Um, you’d have to ask him.”

She didn’t hear her approach, but Chuny comes up behind them. Abby jumps at her loud snort. “He might not be dating anyone, but he sure isn’t single,” Chuny says, giving Abby a blatant once-over.

“I don’t—that’s not—well…” Abby sputters, but can’t think of how to end the sentence without telling them things that are frankly none of their business. She wouldn’t mind telling Chuny, probably, but she hardly knows Sam.

Sam flushes and winces. “Oh, sorry.”

Chuny just smiles at Sam. “Trust me, it’s not worth it when he’s hung up on this one here,” she says, gesturing at Abby, “and has been for like three years.”

With that rather enigmatic interjection that she’ll have to think about later, Chuny leads Sam away, and Abby is left staring, feeling distinctly out of sorts.

And she’d been doing so well.

&&&

After their shift—their crazy shift involving a helicopter crash, explosions, and saving Susan’s ex-husband/boyfriend—is finally over, Luka heads toward the L platform. His heart skips a beat and he lets out a sigh of relief when he sees Abby there, staring blankly at the tracks. “Abby?”

She starts at the sound of her name and shakes her head, “Luka? Are you okay?”

He grins at her. “Boring shift, eh?”

“Piece of cake,” she agrees with a laugh. “But hey, speaking of cake, or pie, I guess, what are you doing here? I thought I overheard Alex and Sam talking about inviting you to dinner. It’s Thanksgiving.”

He slides down next to her on the bench. “It is. And I’m thankful to be here.”

“And...you said no to Sam and her son?”

“I wanted to spend the evening with people who I care about,” he says, bumping her shoulder lightly.

A smile spreads across her face slowly. “Well, I can’t offer you anything but leftovers and freezer meals.”

He doesn’t take his eyes off hers. “I’m okay with that.”

She blushes, but doesn’t look away from the steady heat of his gaze. “Or, uh, we could go somewhere?”

“That works too,” he says, unable to keep from smiling back at her. “In fact, the hotel—the one I used to live at, you remember—I think it serves a Thanksgiving meal.”

“Then what are we waiting for?!” She’s bouncing on her feet, and it’s the cutest thing he’s seen in...well, since this afternoon when he last saw her. “It’ll be faster to walk than take the train.”

“It will be,” he agrees, then offers her his arm.

After a moment’s hesitation, she takes it, and they head back down the stairs. It’s snowing, but it’s the light kind that Luka always enjoys early on in the winter. They’re quiet until Luka says, “Sam told me about a conversation she had with you and Chuny today.”

“Oh yeah?” He smirks at the forced casual tone of her voice.

“Mmhmm. She said Chuny didn’t think I was single, but that you weren’t sure.”

Abby opens her mouth, but looks to be at a loss for what to say. Luka knows the feeling all too well, so he continues, “And I told her that while I might not be dating anyone, I’m only interested in one woman.”

His heart speeds up at her sharp intake of breath. “Oh.”

He puts his gloved hand over her small hand tucked into his elbow. “Yeah. The only reason I’m not pursuing that woman is because I can’t right now. But I probably will in June, unless she doesn’t want me to.”

“She wants you to,” Abby blurts out.

“I don’t mind if you change your mind, okay? But I meant what I said when I got back. I’m fine with waiting for you.”

“Yeah?”

He wants to erase the uncertainty he hears, the uncertainty that he’s partially responsible for. “You’re worth it, Abby.”

They keep walking in silence, then she squeezes his arm. “You are too. Worth the wait.”

He pulls them to a stop. “Really?”

“Yep. We...I’m scared, Luka, but I’ve used fear as an excuse to push you away before, and all it did was hurt us both. I—I want to try. In June, of course.”

“Of course.”

She takes a deep breath. “But what does that mean? Do we just...keep going like we are?”

“I like spending time with you like this, and I’m glad we talked about this. Just if we change our minds we can tell the other person, yeah?”

“Deal,” she says, beaming up at him, and it’s all he can do not to whoop loudly with joy.

He might not be completely successful, if her giggle is anything to go by.

Friends hold hands at dinner, right?

#luby #luby ff #er #er ff #luka x abby #amber writes #hope for dummies

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