#Kerry Weaver deserves better

[irenespring]

I have started an autistic!Wilson fic but after that is finished I may answer the call to write an extremely angsty Kerry Weaver character study fic (probably with a Susan/Kerry ship affiliation because I have never been fully able to get past Sandy outing Kerry). I have been rewatching ER and my girl deserves better. She is the very best, I adore her with my entire being, and like 80% of "protagonists" of the show participate in a campaign to hurt her for no clear reason except that she doesn't seem neurotypical. It would probably be some heavy angst because when I watch certain scenes in seasons 7/8 I get the distinct sense of "this character is severely depressed to the point of being suicidal, and no one knows or cares." It would probably follow the trajectory of Susan realizing at some point just how bad things have gotten for Kerry since she left, and feeling Remorse.

Rewatching ER sometimes feels like watching someone's villain origin story. Because Kerry starts out intense, but clearly trying very hard to make friends. She just wants to make things better for everyone. And she has Ideas of how to do that and wants to share them. But by season 8 she starts to close off and retreat behind walls of hostility, because all the nt characters were attacking her anyway. She starts looking out for herself more, because she is aware that everyone else hates her for things she can't fully control, and would stab her in the back eagerly and happily if they got the chance. She becomes less "let me help you all with my Charts!!!" and more "I need to stay on top to survive please don't take the only thing I have in my life away from me let me just have this job." So if Kerry stayed at County General until a hypothetical season 23, and a new character is like "why is she so closed off/cold/compulsively pushing everyone away?", the flashback sequences would be to seasons 2-8.

I may also answer the call to write a surprising friendship fic between House and Kerry because of character parallels I've discussed in a previous post and because I think it would really work. They would NOT get along working together, but at a conference, especially post ER season 7, they might become quasi-kindred spirits. Because they both NEED to be right to justify their existence, and I think House would recognize how Kerry is slowly becoming afraid of showing any kind of soft edge to people, even if he would never acknowledge that recognition. I think they would settle into a kind of "I would rather crawl over glass than work with you, but outside of work we can sit and drink and ruminate about how other people are wrong and ignore how we are one of each other's only friends" dynamic. They are similarly intense, but in conflicting ways (Kerry hyperfixates on administration and House hyperfixates on cases in a way that makes him rebel against administrators). Also Kerry just deserves a friend.

[drelizabethgreene]

We were so cheated of watching more of Kerry and Sandy getting ready for the baby and seeing Sandy pregnant. The way Kerry supported her in labor and delivery…they really deserved so much better.

[er-139]

When will ER get it’s Friends reincarnation

[sapphicsandscience]

k. weaver, md

bringing back this blog for her 

[mearcatsreturns]

I love this look of respect for Abby and just “huh, outwitted”, and it’s VERY much the last time Kerry pulls that politicking with Abby...and almost everyone else.

[drelizabethgreene]

Sandy should have lived, and she and Kerry should’ve had their happily ever after.

Guess that’s why fanfic exists. But still.

Kerry and Sandy

[frozenmemories1987]

That’s why I can’t be your friend, Kerry

Kerry Weaver and Kim Legaspi on ER, 2000

[wikiblair]

Rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better    

Tagged by: @saii79  (what a nice surprise, thank you ;) )

three ships: Xena/Gabrielle (Xena: Warrior Princess), Supercorp (Supergirl), Paily (Pretty Little Liars) + one that Reserved honor spot: Kerry Weaver/ Sandy Lopez (ER) (aaand maybe one more that deserves a spot here: Toni/Shelby from The Wilds)

First ever ship: Definitely Xena and Gabrielle. I still ship them pretty hard.

Last song: I am in soundtrack land right Now, but I think last song outsider some OST was Over the Hills by Nightwish.

Last film: in theater Free guy on other platforms Crooked Arrows (i like sports movies)

currently reading: I haven´t held a book in my hands for two years unfortunately. But I am reading a hella of lot of fanfiction, so I hope it counts :-).

the next book I planning to read: The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon . I´ve read it´s a good fantasy book with LGBT+ characters, so I am curious.

currently watching: Myths&Monsters (documentary series about European myths and their roots),  This is going to hurt (BBC show about overworked and underpayed doctor), 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Lone Star, Chicago Fire, Chicago P.D., Ghosts (US version)

Currently consuming: Nothing, but I am about to have burgers with potatoes for lunch   

currently craving: Pickles, for some reason (and NO I AM NOT PREGNANT :D) I am craving pickles for several weeks now and I don´t know why. And for non food maybe courage to finally go to my dentist (outside of my proper appointment).

Tagging: @sprqpointintern, @filmmakerdreamst @avarice-rising @browniesthoughts, @just-fan-of-everything,

[wonderofasunrise]

About a Long Night

A/N: Naturally, I’ve been writing some ER fics on my own, and I managed to actually finish one yesterday. After a few tweaks here and there, I thought I’d post it here because...why not?

Inspired by @bwayfan25​, whose brilliant ER fics on AO3 made me real hot for Susan/Kerry and prompted me to start writing fanfiction again. Among other things, it’s a great exercise and wonderful way to relax.

Hope you enjoy, and fingers crossed I can share some more writing stuff here in the future. Reviews/ideas are welcome!

Disclaimer: These characters are, sadly, not mine. But a girl can dream, can’t she?

Featuring an excerpt from the song “Lost” by Dermot Kennedy, who I’ve been listening to a lot lately.

-----

For fear of moments stolen I don’t wanna say goodnight But I’ll still see you in the morning Still know your heart and still know both your eyes

***

“How long have you been awake?”

Kerry starts to rub her eyes, unable to contain her mild annoyance upon realising that the person whom she shares her bed with has been watching her sleep. Their room is dark with only a faint ray of light barely piercing through the window, but even without her glasses on she can easily recognise the pair of big green eyes staring at her, along with the smile that accompanies them.

“Long enough,” Susan smirks.

She is lying on her side, her head propped up on one of her hands—her favourite position every time she gets a chance to watch Kerry in slumber. Susan makes it no secret to Kerry that she finds the sight of her lover sleeping comforting, to which Kerry, in her typical defensive way, first responded by accusing Susan of wanting to see her at the most vulnerable.

Over time, however, Kerry has gotten used to it, to the point that there is nothing she looks forward to more than seeing Susan’s bright eyes and smile first thing in the morning—when their schedules allow them to spend the morning together, that is.

“You’re on at seven in the morning, Dr Lewis. Don’t push your luck,” Kerry tries (and fails) to emulate her Chief of Emergency Medicine voice, which comes as no surprise seeing that she has one of her eyes closed and her body relaxed against the comfort of her queen-size bed. Susan confirms it by sticking her tongue out in response.

“I’m not Dr Lewis,” she says in a mocking tone. “And neither are you Dr Weaver. We’re not in the ER, we’re home, and we’re just...us. Is my irresistible charm not enough to remind you?”

“Susan,” Kerry groans, her annoyance growing ever so slightly by the second. “You and I both know we need all the rest we can take. I had a long day, which I’m sure you’ve heard about, and chances are you’ll have one yourself in a few hours. Come on.”

But Susan is undeterred, and instead she gently pulls Kerry into an embrace and lets her head rest against her pillow, moving closer to ensure that their heads meet. Kerry can now feel Susan breathing against her skin, Susan’s hand wrapped around her body with only the fabric of her pajama top between their skins. Kerry half-expects Susan to kiss her neck and cause her to blush in the process, but instead Susan just rests her head against Kerry’s shoulder while inhaling the familiar scent of the latter before letting out a sigh.

��Do you know why I like watching you sleep very much?” Susan murmurs, her tone suddenly serious. “And it’s not because I like to prey on you when you’re vulnerable, although you gotta admit that would be pretty hot.”

“Because you get off on getting on my nerves,” Kerry states matter-of-factly. Both of her eyes are now closed, as if it somehow would convince Susan that they really should be sleeping instead of talking, but Kerry knows better and mentally prepares herself for a witty response.

“I’d rather get off on your other things, thank you very much. But seriously,” Susan retorts, “do you have any idea how different you look when you sleep? How...peaceful and relaxed you are? I swear sometimes I see you smirk in your sleep, and we both know that’s not something anyone would expect to see from you in public.”

“I’m not sure I have any idea as to how I look in my sleep, and I don’t think I’d want to know,” Kerry deadpans.

“You’re—you’re just you,” Susan happily ignores the remark. “You’re not an ER doctor, you’re not the Chief of Emergency Medicine, you’re just human—which I’m sure you’re aware that some people find debatable.”

Kerry is about to challenge that, but at this point she is just too tired and there is no way she can shut Susan up anyway, so she might as well let her be. All the while, Kerry lets her hand rest on top of Susan’s, her fingernails giving it a gentle scratch.

“I get worried sometimes, you know. That you don’t loosen up enough, that you’re content with people hating you and talking shit about you behind your back, because you deserve better than that. I think the world can do with knowing that you do have a heart, and not just in front of patients,” Susan muses, feeling Kerry squeezing her hand tighter now with each word.

“But then I feel lucky too, knowing your gentle side is reserved to those who deserve it. And you trust me enough to be one of those people. Heck, I’m the only person who gets to see you in pajamas and how cute you are when you’re cranky before having a cup of coffee in the morning.”

No longer feeling the urge to sleep, Kerry’s eyes are now wide open, staring at Susan’s as the latter shows no sign of ceasing her chatter. In turn, Susan, satisfied that she now has Kerry’s full attention, brings Kerry’s hand close to her face and places a soft kiss on it.

“When I—when we had our first date,” Susan continues, her smile growing even more at the word, “I remember you were getting tipsy after only one glass of wine, and you laughed so hard at something I said. I don’t even think it was that funny, but you laughed anyway and I just sat there, amazed. I never saw you laugh like that before. Granted, you had alcohol in your system, but the fact that you didn’t even try to conceal it said it all.”

Kerry chuckles as she recalls their first (proper) date, in which she inadvertently revealed to Susan that she was a lightweight, and she was surprised that she did not make any effort to conceal that. She was drinking and doing silly things as a result, but not once did she feel embarrassed. If anything, she was relieved that she could let herself loose up in front of someone she trusted completely, and she was beyond grateful that that someone was Susan.

There were no concerns about the possibility of being recognised by someone, nor were there misgivings about going public with their relationship—which Kerry normally has, ever since she started coming to terms with her sexuality. There were just the two of them, and the realisation that their feelings were manifesting into something more.

“It’s moments like that, and when you’re asleep that always remind me how lucky I am to see the real you. Sometimes I feel like keeping myself awake—even after pulling a double—simply because I don’t want to miss these moments when you’re just yourself. Because I want to always remember...how fortunate I am to be the one seeing you like this.” Susan can barely contain herself now, tears flowing down her face freely. She has to let it all out now, having expressed how privileged she feels to be with Kerry, to be the only one who witnesses her affectionate and loving side on a daily basis. To be the object of the said affection.

“Susan—baby, you’re crying,” Kerry raises her hand to wipe the tears away while sporting a concerned look. Susan, as if trying to tell Kerry to stop being concerned for nothing, laughs between her tears instead.

“I’m happy,” Susan takes a deep breath. “I—I never thought I’d say this, least of all when we first met, but I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time, and it’s all because of you.”

In many ways, as Kerry has learned, Susan is a fairly straightforward individual who only says what she means and means what she says, and coming from her those words feel like music to Kerry’s ears.

Unable to respond, having been rendered speechless at Susan’s sincerity and the way she expresses her feelings so candidly, Kerry simply kisses her on the lips, which Susan happily (and still tearfully) reciprocates.

“Me too,” Kerry says in a low tone that almost sounds like a whisper. “I’m the happiest I’ve been in years. With you.”

For a few minutes the two women stay silent—save for the soft sounds of Kerry’s breathing and Susan’s occasional sobs—as they lie still in bed, engulfed by the warmth of each other’s embrace. Time must have stopped for both of them, as for a time it feels like the stillness and warmth will never fade. As strange as this might sound, this is how Kerry always feels whenever she is with Susan: that the world around them stops as if conspiring to let the two be without anything in the way. There is no work, no hospital, nothing except Susan in front of her with her arms around her smaller body, and she knows Susan feels that way too.

“You know what will make me even happier?” Kerry smirks, and there is no mistaking the hint of mischief in her voice. “If you’ll get some rest, because God knows we really need it. And you know you don’t need to worry about missing any moment—I’m off tomorrow morning, and I’ll be right here when you wake up. First thing you see.”

Susan chuckles, pulling Kerry tighter into her embrace. She feels silly for admitting that she is worried about missing her favourite moments with Kerry, but she figures she can indulge herself in silliness once in a while. She is, after all, a woman in love.

“I love you,” Susan mumbles, her lips caressing Kerry’s shoulder blade. She has said this numerous times, and each time she knows that she always means it, and that it never gets lost on Kerry.

“I love you too,” Kerry kisses the top of Susan’s head and smiles at the sensation of Susan’s hair tickling her face. Similarly, each time she says the words she always ensures her sincerity comes across, which Susan never doubts.

Soon enough, the two fall asleep with their arms wrapped around each other, and again it feels almost as if everything around them stopped. There are just the two of them, sleeping peacefully without any care to anything or anyone else, and they know it is what they deserve.

All worries fading slowly, serenity begins to envelop Susan with the knowledge that she will see and hold Kerry first thing in the morning, all in a way that only Susan is privileged to witness, and that is enough for her to take on the world.

[pgkwriter]

Chapters: 15/? Fandom: ER (TV 1994) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Sandy Lopez/Kerry Weaver Characters: Kerry Weaver, Sandy Lopez, Abby Lockhart, Susan Lewis (ER TV 1994), John Carter (ER TV 1994), Robert Romano, Luka Kovač, Elizabeth Corday Additional Tags: LGBTQ Themes, IVF, Friendship, Angst, not your typical fluffy baby fic hold on tight y'all, Pregnancy, Miscarriage Summary:

After several rounds of IVF, Kerry and Sandy are at once thrilled and trepidatious at the discovery of their newfound pregnancy. Keeping her personal life out of the ER proves to be more and more difficult as Kerry navigates her new normal, realizing that accepting a little help from her friends is one of the few things that will get her through.

This fic explores what might have happened if Kerry and Sandy were still struggling with IVF, starting in late Season 9. It always felt strange to me that Sandy changed her mind about carrying a baby after being so passionately against it (@ERwriters: some women don’t want to have babies!). We also take a deeper look at some of Kerry's work relationships that felt oddly forced in the show (ie Abby) and one they barely touched on that deserved better (ie Susan). Will follow canon in some ways and not in others.

[laurainnes]

quarantine is as good a time as ever to read some fanfic

here are some of the ones being currently updated:

“ matriarcs “ - (33/?) by @bwayfan25 The end of the summer of 1995 brings new things to the ER, namely a new Chief Resident with a pension for giving orders and maintaining very strict boundaries between her home and work lives and the sudden disappearance of a resident's sister and apparent abandonment of her infant daughter. And though it appears the tension between the two women is soon to combust, combustion outside of their control puts the Chief Resident's personal life on full display. But though the sparks left in it's wake are not always of the romantic sort, there is no denying it might just work out very well for both of them. AU where Kerry had a daughter prior to coming to County and has to navigate not only her new job in the ER, but also her work-life balance and relationships.

home - (5/?) by pgk “There were so many obstacles in her life she had been able to conquer: her hip, her adoption, her sexuality. The fragile egos of most men whose paths she’d crossed. Nothing had ever stood in her way. Until now.”This fic explores what might have happened if Kerry and Sandy were still struggling with IVF, starts off late Season 9. It always felt strange to me that Sandy changed her mind about carrying a baby after being so passionately against it (@ERwriters: some women don’t want to have babies!). We also take a deeper look at some of Kerry's work relationships that felt oddly forced in the show (ie Abby) and one they barely touched on that deserved better (ie Susan). The alderman situation(s) never happened, and she was not promoted to Chief of Staff. Will follow canon in some ways and not in others.

after barbados - (1/12) by @simplywoven *also this was just posted today and in all honesty i haven’t read it yet because i just noticed it while i was writing this post but i read the original years ago and i know it’s going to be incredible* “Kerry Weaver had a great deal of confidence in many aspects of her life. She was confident in her identity as a disabled woman, as a lesbian, as a physician-leader. She was confident in her intelligence and her skill. She was confident in her love for Sandy.One thing she was less sure of was her future as a mother.”

completed works:

setbacks & steps forward - (4/4) by Iha “Country General receiving,” Sam said, picking up the radio handset. “This is 47. County, we are on route with a 9 week post op hip replacement posteriorly displaced. Familiar face, first name Doctor,” Ben added, and with a sinking feeling Sam knew exactly who he meant. Kerry encounters some complications after her hip-replacement surgery.

out of immediate danger - (4/4) by Iha “Set directly after the end of S4:E15 - Exodus.“You know Kerry. She hadn’t been cleared, she’d just got off the gurney and gone back to work.”Kerry Weaver wrestling back control at the end of the episode makes perfect sense in some ways, but really there was no way she should have been up and about. This is a look at what might have happened after the end of the episode when it all catches up with her.”

and the other fics set in @bwayfan25‘s AU universe “unexpected circumstances,” “a forest of trees,” “the summer of ‘77″ (this one is Kerry backstory and it’s soooo good), and a fun little AU within the AU “seeing double” 

[irenespring]

Rewatching ER so happy pride to Kerry Weaver, possibly my favorite character in all of media. You deserved so much better than being immediately hated for *checks notes* being autistic, and then later ridiculed for *checks notes* being a lesbian.

[blackaquokat]

For the ask game: ER

Thanks dearie! Since I’m only six seasons in, my answers will probably be a little different from you and @mearcatsreturns , but maybe I’ll revisit when I finish the show!

my favorite female character

Oh man, this might be a four-way tie? Kerry, Carol, Elizabeth, Jeanie, I really love the four of them a lot. And now it’s turning five-way because I’m really liking Abby a lot, what a cutie.

my favorite male character

At the moment, Doug Ross. I miss him a lot. But Luka is rapidly rising, to nobody’s surprise, to the top of my list.

my favorite book/season/etc

Thus far? Seasons 4 and 6 have been pretty good. S4 is when Carol and Doug were back together and the Cutest Damn Thing (and also when Mark finally mostly got his head out of his ass after two seasons of being a moron), and S6 is when Luka and Abby came in and I am READY FOR THEM.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

Oh man, All in the Family, definitely, at this point. I am SO SAD about Lucy, but damn if that episode wasn’t top-notch. All the doctors and nurses were at the top of their game, and it’s like one of the ultimate whump episodes of a show full of whump.

my favorite cast member

Just going by the blooper reels, I am very weak for Eriq la Salle and Noah Wyle. They were apparently very close off-screen and that closeness bleeds into the show and I really like that. That being said, George Clooney also was great and I am already in love with Goran Visnjic, so I have to mention him too.

my favorite ship

Right now, I’m still very soft for Doug x Carol, since I haven’t gotten to see Luka and Abby interact as much yet.

a character I’d die defending

Kerry Weaver. I just know people probably gave her a hard time, and I just think she’s a bad-ass.

a character I just can’t sympathize with

Romano. What a dick. He’s had exactly four episodes where he acted like something resembling a human being, but that’s about it. That being said, he’s a character I love to hate and I think Paul McCrane does a damn good job. I’m thinking about looking up other stuff he’s been in.

a character I grew to love

Doug Ross. I was not crazy about him S1 but then I grew to love him as his character grew. Benton too, he was a little rough around the edges at first, but now I will protect him with my life.

my anti otp

Um...I really didn’t like Carol x Shep from S2, I thought he sucked. And then Mark and that one woman from S4 (I can’t remember her name, but she was the one who ended up meeting his parents) because she deserved so much better than him. 

Give me a Show/Book/Movie

[bwayfan25]

Naptime

(Apparently I still have more of these in me, so here you go.)

* * *

Suzie and Susan were both fast asleep, cuddled together in Susan and Kerry’s bed.

In all honesty, Suzie had been a pretty good sport lately. She’d been excited to show off her new baby sister to all their visitors, she’d played quietly while Charlie slept, and she’d put up with more pictures in the last month than probably the rest of her life combined. (Or, at least, the parts she could remember.)

But today, she hadn't been feeling very good, which led to a little bit of a meltdown. So, Susan had laid down with her to rub her back and it wasn’t long before both fell asleep.

This left Kerry, who had been downstairs cleaning the kitchen since she’d returned home from work an hour ago, to respond when Charlie cries out from the bassinet.

It was her “I’m tired” cry, which Kerry felt odd given that she’d been napping previously. But, given that a bottle nor a diaper change alleviated it, Kerry laid down on the couch and carefully put Charlie on her chest.

“There you go,” she murmured as she adjusted Charlie. “Is that better?”

Charlie responded by quieting down. Kerry rubbed her back gently, but then stopped and raised her head slightly when she felt her hand catch the strap of the harness across Charlie’s back.

She adjusted her a little bit again. The position of Charlie’s legs looked painful, but the baby girl didn’t seem to mind.

“Is that comfy, Charlie? Hmm?” she asked before letting out a small chuckle. “I guess you wouldn’t really know, would you? That’s all you’ve ever known, right? That’s like when people ask me what it’s like to use my crutch and I tell them that I don’t really know, because it’s always just been there.”

Kerry let out a small sigh, absently rubbing small circles over the top of Charlie’s back. She could sense her breaths evening out and soon Kerry’s breaths had begun to slow too…

She was lying on the couch, but Charlie wasn’t on her chest.

She sat up as the front door opened. Suzie came in, followed by Henry Weaver. He looked the way Kerry remembered him before he died - older, slower, but still with the same twinkle in his eye.

Suzie ran up to her at the couch, smiling broadly.

“Grandpa taught me a joke!” she announced excitedly as Henry hung his hat on the rack near the door.

“Alright. Let’s hear it,” Kerry said, smiling and content with this reality though part of her knew this was just a dream.

“If ‘bike’ is short for ‘bicycle,’ then what’s ‘Mike’ short for?”

“I don’t know… Michael?”

“No!” Suzie said happily. “Micycle!”

Kerry chuckled, more at the pride on Suzie’s face than the joke itself.

“Grandpa and I are going to go make dinner,” Suzie said. “He says he’s going to teach me how to fry chicken!”

And with that, Suzie turned back towards the door. She took Henry by the hand and led him, bemused expression and all, to the kitchen (but not before he managed a wink in Kerry’s direction).

As they departed, the front door opened again and Mildred Weaver stepped inside, Charlie in the baby carrier on her chest.

She too looked the way Kerry last remembered her, her hair whiter and the lines on her face deeper. But when she raised an eyebrow in Kerry’s direction, it no doubt had the exact same effect it had her entire childhood.

“I hope you’re not lying around when your wife just had a baby,” Mildred mused as she crossed to the couch. But once she drew closer, her expression softened and she leaned down to kiss Kerry on the forehead. “I’m just kidding, my dear. You deserve your rest too.”

But in her slight bend, Charlie let out a short cry. Mildred looked down at her.

“I’m so sorry, Charlotte, dear. What’s the matter? Did you not like that? My apologies.” Mildred glanced up at Kerry. “This one is going to have strong opinions on things. I can just tell.”

Kerry felt herself smile, though the knowledge that this was just a dream, that it wasn’t real and her parents would never meet their grandchildren or learn she was gay or any of it, seemed to grow stronger and stronger.

Mildred took a seat beside her on the couch and began taking Charlie out of the baby carrier. When she looked up at her daughter, she frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

Before she could stop herself, and proving that she was still at least slightly in control of the dream, Kerry heard herself say, “Mom, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it, dear?” Mildred asked, her brow furrowing. “You know you can tell us anything.”

Kerry’s heart began to pound even harder.

“I never got the chance to tell you,” Kerry said slowly. “I… I never knew how you would feel.”

Though it was surely her subconscious reassuring her, there was something so… real in Mildred’s eyes that it was almost like she was sitting right there.

“Kerry, my love, whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“But-” Kerry felt tears begin to well in her eyes. “But what if- But what if you don’t… You don’t…”

Mildred sighed deeply and laid a hand on Kerry’s knee.

“My dear, no matter what it is, it is okay,” she reassured in a soft voice.

“But I’m- I’m-” Kerry’s heart beat even harder. “But you never knew. And... and what if you-you weren’t okay with it, with-with me?”

Mildred just gave her a soft smile.

“Oh, my dear,” she said in that kind, gentle voice that Kerry missed so much it ached in her soul. “Our love for you was never contingent on what you were or what you were not. The only thing it was ever contingent on was that you were ours.

“And as long as you were ours, the only thing we cared about was that you were happy and cared for. And if you are happy, if you feel loved… My dear, those are blessings. And how could a blessing ever be wrong?”

Kerry’s tears began to fall even harder.

“I miss you so much,” she said in a voice barely more than a whisper. “So much.”

Mildred smiled and rubbed Kerry’s knee reassuringly.

“We’re never very far away from you. And if you ever feel that we are, all you have to do is look in the mirror.”

Kerry have a watery chuckle and shook her head.

“I don’t think it works that way.”

Mildred shrugged in acknowledgment, but continued to smile.

“Maybe not,” she admitted. “But you like to think it does.”

Kerry felt more tears wash over her as Mildred squeezed her knee.

And then she felt it again. And then a poke to the thigh…

Kerry opened her eyes, surprised to find her eyes as wet in real life as they were in the dream.

But instead of finding her mother, she found Charlie asleep on her chest and Suzie, a little bedraggled but clearly feeling better, at her side.

“Momma, you were crying in your sleep,” Suzie stated, frowning in concern. “Are you okay? Is Charlie hurting you?”

“What? Oh no, no,” Kerry replied, smiling slightly. “I was just… I just had a dream.”

“A bad dream?”

“No, a… a very good dream,” Kerry said, her smile growing. “I was dreaming about my mom and dad.”

“And you were crying because you’re sad that they aren’t here anymore?” Suzie asked, cocking her head slightly to one side and causing a loose strand of frizzy blonde hair to fall in her face.

“Yes, honey. Sad because you didn’t get to meet them and they didn’t get to meet you.” Kerry brushed the hair from Suzie’s face and tucked it behind her ear. She cupped Suzie’s cheek in her hand. “I think you would have liked them. And they would have loved you.”

“Of course, I would like them. They’re your mommy and daddy, right? And I like you, so I would like them too.”

The tears threatened to start afresh at the matter-of-fact tone in Suzie’s voice. Kerry just smiled and gently pulled Suzie close enough to kiss her cheek.

“Is Mommy awake too?” Kerry asked, holding a (still sleeping) Charlie carefully time her chest as she sat up.

Suzie shook her head.

“No. She’s still asleep. I woke up and didn’t feel tired anymore.”

But ask she said it, Suzie stifled a yawn and rubbed at one of her eyes. Kerry chuckled and stood up from the couch.

“I think you are. Why don’t we go upstairs and take the rest of our nap with Mommy?”

She held Charlie to her chest and took Suzie’s hand in her right, leading then towards the stairs.

“And afterwards,” Kerry continued, releasing Suzie’s hand so she could use the railing, “you and I are going to make fried chicken for dinner.”

“Why?”

“Oh, no reason. I just think you’d enjoy it.”

[drelizabethgreene]

I support this.

Daily ‘Sandy Lopez deserved better’ post.

[jonny-versace]

FAVOURITE CHARACTER TAG

Tagged by the wondrous @rustandruin

Name your top 10 fav characters from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people.

1) Sebastian White - Emmerdale. King of all he sees.

2) Aaron and Robert, - robron (cheating 🤭). A strange and terrifying singular beast, should never be viewed with the naked eye

~the following are in no particular order~

3) Renly Baratheon - game of thrones, the only king of westeros I bend my knees to

4) Karen Walker - Will and Grace. Icon. Inspiration. Everything I hope to be.

5) Peggy Carter - MCU. Well endowed queen of superheroes

6) Leo Fitz - Agents of SHIELD (cheating again 🤭). Babie

7) Lilith Sternin - Frasier/Cheers. Intimidates and bullies men for fun. Flawless skin. Literal icon

8) Anya Jenkins - Buffy. Absolute idol. Funniest person who ever lived, deserved better

9) Drusilla - Angel (cheated AGAIN 🤭🤭🤭). My insane mother, deserved so much better than Angel or Spike. Beautiful gowns

10) Kerry Weaver - ER. One of the most layered characters I've ever seen on TV. Queen of lesbians.

I tag! @anidorikiladratalianna @amandaj718 @aaronsspeech @memorieswarm @rememberingrobertsugden @scrapyardboyfriends @thisdamndesire @sugdenstyles @love-you-always @robron-til-the-end-of-time