#Ken Gilbert

[royaltea000]

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me ;)

[whoishotteranimepolls]

"Who is Hotter?" Battle Butlers

[nynnph0]

my bioshock headcanons (and canons) pt.1

(should have clarified this, the ages they are all at the time of 1960, or the time they died. so grace, gil, delta, sinclair are not as old as i think they would be by the time bioshock 2 takes place.)

andrew ryan

jewish - belarusian - russian

6'0 · 54 · 1906/01/26

bisexual (heavy f lean) neutral

sander cohen

jewish - american - czech

5'9 · 53 · 1907/07/12

homosexual ally/phobic

brigid tenenbaum

jewish - belarusian - german

5'4 · 32-35 · 192(5-8)/08/08

asexual aromatic lesbian ally

j.s. steinmann

jewish - american - german

6'1 · 49 · 1911/04/30

heteroflexible ally

frank fontaine

american - italian

5'8 · 42 · 1918/03/15

heteroflexible neutral

sofia lamb

british

6'3 · 48 · 1912/09/23

asexual aromatic ally

(deems love stupid)

augustus sinclair, esquire

panamanian - british - cuban

5'6 · 46 · 1914/07/28

pansexual ally

yi suchong

korean

5'6 · 52 · 1908/12/16

homosexual phobic

gilbert (gil) alexander

polish - romanian

6'4 · 36 · 1924/11/05

homosexual ally

grace halloway

brazilian - american

5'8 · 33 · 1927/11/07

heterosexual ally

anna culpepper

argentinian - caribbean

5'5 · 26 · 1933/09/09

heterosexual ally

reginald (reggie) furey

american - irish

6'3 · 53 · 1905/08/19

heterosexual neutral

jökull (johnny) sigrúnsson

icelandic - finnish

5'9 · 37 · 1923/06/23

bisexual ally

jack

jewish - belarusian - russian - dutch - swiss

6'4 · 4 · 1956/??/??

asexual aromantic ally

mary-catherine (jasmine) jolene

dutch - swiss

5'6 · 30 · 1929/04/30

heteroflexible ally

[dandhisdolls]

"The smallest chance of the perfect life with you, is infinitely better than an immortal one without you."

Guess who never watched The Vampire Diaries at the age of almost 29 and now needs to do a marathon because of Damon Salvatore? Me, it's me 🙃 I had heard about his charm but never explored the character...time to change that!!

Anyway! While I prepare myself mentally, here's my latest works: a commission for Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert portrait custom dolls ❤���‍🔥

If you know me, you also know that making portrait dolls always makes me super anxious, and this time I also had to style a super short rooted hairstyle, which doubled the panic but, in the end, I can finally breathe again 🫠

Hope you like them!

[uwudonoodle]

[rodrigobaeza]

Ty Templeton, Ken Steacy, Bill Sienkiewicz, Chester Brown, Jaime Hernandez, Gilbert Hernandez: Batman jam comic done at the 1989 Toronto Comic Con.

[writing-for-life]

Sandman Comics Re-Read

Issue 11: Moving In

Still on a bit of a writing hiatus, so only one contribution (the Klinger annotations) to our discussion of “Moving In” from me this week, which I’ll link for later reference. It’s the comics issue that finally lets us meet Matthew!

We are starting with our discussion of “The Doll’s House” TV episode today—join us!

[thingsmk1120sayz]

[badmovieihave]

Bad movie I have National Security 2003

[papermoonloveslucy]

LUCY’S THIN BLUE LINE

Lucy and Law Enforcement ~ Part 2

On “The Lucy Show,” Lucy Carmichael not only had multiple run-ins with the police - she actually became one for a couple of episodes!  Here’s a look at Carmichael and Cops! 

“Lucy and Viv Become Tycoons” (1963) ~ When Lucy and Viv open their own business at home, they are visited by Sergeant Robbins (Bern Hoffman) to check on their permits and operating practices. In 1960, Hoddman appeared in the Lucille Ball / Bob Hope film The Facts of Life.

“Lucy Drives a Dump Truck” (1963) ~ Driving a truck to a nearby town, Lucy and Viv are pulled over by a Brewster policeman played by Richard Reeves, a veteran of nine episodes of “I Love Lucy” including playing a policeman in “Equal Rights” (1953). This is his only appearance on “The Lucy Show.”  

“Lucy and the Safe Cracker” (1963) ~ When Mr. Mooney gets locked in the safe (again), Lucy contacts a safe cracker (Jay Novello) and Sergeant Wilcox (James Flavin) is on the scene. Coincidentally, Flavin played the Immigration Officer searching for Mario Orsatti (Jay Novello) in  “Visitor from Italy” (1956). He will return to “The Lucy Show” two episodes later to play Sgt. Wilcox again in another bank-themed episode. He appeared in four films with Lucille Ball, including playing a police sergeant in Without Love (1945). During his long career he played so many officers of the law that his IMDB photo is of him in a police uniform!  

“Lucy and the Bank Scandal” (1963) ~ Sergeant Wilcox (James Flavin) investigates a case of embezzelment at the Danfield Bank. Lucy suspects Mr. Mooney and digs up his yard to find the stolen cash. 

“Lucy is Her Own Lawyer” (1964) ~ Officer Joe (Joe Mell) the Baliff, swears in Lucy Carmichael as well as Mr. Mooney and Nelson the dog! Mell returns as a Baliff in “Lucy the Meter Maid” (1964) and a Bank Guard in “Lucy the Stockholder” (1965). 

“Lucy the Meter Maid” (1964) ~ Lucy joins the Danfield Police Force as meter maid. When Viv doesn’t feed the meter, Lucy issues her a summons and they land up in court. Once again, Joe Mell plays the Baliff. 

“Lucy Makes a Pinch” (1964) ~ Still on the Force, Lucy is recruited to be part of a stake out. The episode features three of Danfield’s finest (left to right): Murdock (Jack Searl), Captain Bradford (Alan Carney), and Detective Bill Baker (Jack Kelly).  As a child actor, Jack Searl was featured in the 1932 film Officer Thirteen, about motorcyle cops. Alan Carney played a policeman in the 1963 comedy classic It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. In 1955, Jack Kelly appeared on a TV series titled “City Detective.” 

“Lucy the Coin Collector” (1964) ~ When Lucy drops a rare coin down the sewar grate, she is consoled by a cop on the beat (Ray Kellogg).  his is the second of his seven episodes of “The Lucy Show.” He also did two episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Just as in his other screen credits, most most times he played policemen, as he does here.  

“Lucy and the Ceramic Cat” (1965) ~ While Lucy breaks into Bigelow’s Department Store, Viv stands guard, diverting the cop on the beat (John J. ‘Red’ Fox). Fox was best known for playing policemen, which is what he did on five of his eight appearances on “The Lucy Show” as well as three of his five episodes of “Here’s Lucy.”

“Lucy, the Stockholder” (1965) ~ After buying a single share of the Danfield Bank for $32, Lucy the stockholder pays the bank a visit. She warns the lackadaisical guard (Joe Mell) that she has a nine year-old nephew who is quicker on the draw than him.

“Lucy and the Undercover Agent” (1965) ~ Trying to get access to performer Carol Channing, Lucy charms Military Police (MP) officer Sol Schwartz. The character name was specifically chosen so Lucy can sing “Hello, Solly” to the tune of “Hello, Dolly”. 

“Salute to Stan Laurel” (1965) ~ In a special tributing the late comedian, Lucille Ball is part of a silent movie sketch featuring Buster Keaton and Harvey Korman as a policeman in the park. 

“Lucy Meets Mickey Rooney” (1965) ~ A silent movie sketch based on Charlie Chaplin’s The Kid features the Keystone Kops (Sid Gould, above). Keystone Kops are fictional, humorously incompetent policemen featured in silent film slapstick comedies produced by Mack Sennett for his Keystone Film Company between 1912 and 1917.

“Lucy Goes to a Hollywood Premiere” (1966) ~ Mr. Mooney is questioned by Officer Collins (Robert Foulk) of the Beverly Hills Police Department. He doesn’t have a permit to sell maps to the movie stars’ homes and is hauled down to the police station. Foulk played the Brooklyn policeman on the subway platform in “Lucy and the Loving Cup” (1956). He will go on to play six characters on “Here’s Lucy,” two of them policemen. 

“Lucy the Gun Moll” (1966) ~ Robert Stack plays Federal Agent Briggs in this satire on Desilu’s “The Untouchables.” Stack played G-Man Eliot Ness on the series and only agreed to the satire if the names were changed. 

“Lucy and the Submarine” (1966) ~ Whe Lucy sneaks onto a submarine, she must get by a stoic Navy Shore Patrolman (SP) played by Steven Marlo. Marlo makes the first of his two appearances on “The Lucy Show.” 

“Lucy and the Ring-a-Ding Ring” (1966) ~ Ray Kellogg plays the cop on the beat who discovers Mr. Mooney trying to get a nearly unconscious Lucy into his car because she has his wife’s ring stuck on her finger. 

“Viv Visits Lucy” (1967) ~ To find a wayward Danfield boy, Lucy and Viv go to the Sunset Strip, where they are mistaken for hippie biker chicks by the police. Ray Kellogg plays the Motorcycle Officer (right) and John J. 'Red’ Fox plays Patrolman Harry McLeod (left). 

“Lucy Puts Main Street on the Map” (1967) ~ Mel Torme is Mel Tinker, the deputy and Roy Barcroft plays his father, Police Chief Tinker, the law enforcement team in small town Bancroft. During his long career on screen, Barcroft played a sheriff 18 times between 1943 and 1966, including in Billy the Kid Versus Dracula (1966). 

“Lucy Meets the Law” (1967) ~ Lucy thinks she’s being arrested for littering when she is actually being mistaken for a red-haired jewel thief. Claude Akins (Lieutenant Finch) is perhaps best remembered for playing Sheriff Lobo in “B.J. And the Bear” (1978-79) and its sequel “The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo” (1979-81).

Jody Gilbert plays the jail matron aka ‘Tinkerbell’. Gilbert will also appear in two episodes of “Here’s Lucy,” in one of which she also plays a prison matron.

Ken Lynch (Officer Peters, left) started playing policemen on TV in 1950 and continued to do so for much of his career. Joseph Perry (Officer Miller, right) started his screen acting career in 1956. Perry played a policeman on “My Living Doll” (1965) filmed at Desilu. He appeared on the police-themed shows “Policewoman,” “Police Story,” “Barney Miller,” “Hill Street Blues,” “CHiPs,” “The Rookies” “The Mod Squad,” “87th Precinct,” “The FBI,” “The Rookies,” and “The Sheriff of Cochise” a Desilu Production. 

“Lucy Sues Mooney” (1967) ~ Irwin Charone (Bailiff) makes the third of his five appearances on “The Lucy Show.”

Two uncredited background actors play Officers of the Court. 

“Lucy and the Stolen Stole” (1968) ~ Lucy and Mr. Mooney go shopping for Mrs. Mooney's birthday and wind up being arrested for possession of a stolen fur stole. The boys in blue are played by Ray Kellogg, Roy Shapiro, and John J. 'Red' Fox as Officer Shapiro.

“Lucy Gets Involved” (1968) ~ At Phil’s Fat Boy Burgers, a policeman (John J. 'Red' Fox) interrogates motorcyclist Tommy Watkins (Phil Vandervoort) with Mr. Burton (Jackie Coogan) overhearing. 

“Lucy and Sid Caesar” (1968) ~  A forger who looks like Sid Caesar is passing bad checks at the bank.  Lucy and Mr. Mooney try to figure out how to tell the real Sid Caesar from the forger.  They enlist the help of the authorities (left to right): Irwin Charrone, John J. ‘Red’ Fox, and Ben Gage.  Gage was mentioned on “I Love Lucy” in 1955. He appeared on “Our Miss Brooks” (filmed at Desilu Studios) and in Desilu’s “Star Trek.”  His last two screen appearances were in “Policewoman” and “Police Story.” 

[buffvamporigfan]

Check out my Hope mikaelson fanfiction set after the end of Legacies!

Roughly 6 months after the super squad defeated Ken, Hope, who's still grieving Landon's loss, is sent to college in London. She now finds herself in a new love triangle and suddenly fighting vicious battles with enemies who were supposedly vanquished long ago. Will she learn to navigate her new situation while protecting her loved ones and saving the world again?

Spoilers for Legacies, Originals and Vampire Diaries.

Pairs mentioned in tags

Not intended to be in a particular genre for now but we'll see

Read author's notes chapter for warnings and other important stuff!

Also here are the links for the same fanfic on AO3:

and Fanfiction.net:

[infraredmag]

New Music Review: FLOTSAM AND JETSAM 'I Am The Weapon'

Rating: 9 / 10 Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Rating: 9 out of 10. FLOTSAM AND JETSAM are: Eric “AK” Knutson (vocals), Steve Conley (guitar), Michael Gilbert (guitar), Bill Bodily (bass), Ken K Mary (drums) REVIEW – FLOTSAM AND JETSAM return with their fifteenth studio album, ‘I Am The Weapon,’ out on Friday, September 13, 2024 via AFM Records. It’s a ferocious and intense offering that marks the first time…

[johnesimpson]

Putting Wings on Your Say-So Doesn't Mean It'll Fly

Ken Burns, Nikki Giovanni, et al.: 'Putting Wings on Your Say-So Doesn't Mean It'll Fly'

[Image: “Oodnadatta track”; found on Flickr, taken by a photographer who identifies himself as simply “Brett.” The subject is a sculpture called “Planehenge,” in Australia’s Mutonia Sculpture Park. (The short bit about the sculpture park begins around 5:25 into that video.) The motorcycle is apparently Brett’s own, not part of the Planehenge work.] From whiskey river: Listen, listen. In a…

[skybluearia]

I don't think if many people (or anyone at all) can relate to this post, but i see that many people were fans of Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or hunger games as kids, but i was an aogg kid from the very start. I read all 8 books when i was 9 or 10, and i reread it several times over the years, everytime with a new outlook on the world and myself.

Everything about it is nostalgic to me, from the moment Anne met Matthew in the train station, to her friendship to Diana, to her holding a grudge againts Gilbert for 5 years, to her silly mistakes in the first and second book, to her finding new friends in college and Ruby's death in the third book (which was hard to take tbh), to all those letters she wrote to Gilbert in the 4th book, to her marriage and the death of her first child, her meeting captain Jim, Leslie and Miss Cornelia in the 5th book, the 6th book where her children's adventures begin; the 7th book and the arrival of the lovely Merediths; and finally, the last book and the shadow of war over Anne's life, Walter's death and at last, her sons' homecoming and the beautiful ending which brought Rilla and Ken together. It's just that when you read the books you basically follow her all the way from her childhood to her girlhood and then womanhood, and then you start loving her children just as much as you love her. You live in Green Gables and Windy Poplars and Ingleside, you watch her grow old. You follow two generations of the lovliest people in literature. To me it was aogg from the very start and I'm glad about that, reading and rereading it is always somehow the reassurance that I need that the world isn't that horrible of a place, it's just messy, and in dire need for a cup of tea and good old friends you can visit old gardens with on your birthday :)

[mfshipbracket]

welcome to ghost mod's thought experiment, the m/f ship bracket bonus round where every single m/f ship from the original round is pit against reylo of the 97/3 #shreksweep infamy.

why, you ask? mostly cuz of this.

they're going from lowest to highest per the original rankings, starting off with our newcomers adam/eve. 9 polls per day will roll out on queue throughout the est evening from may 12th-18th! after polls are closed one week later, i will post the final rankings of who swept the hardest (or failed to sweep...)

all polls can be found under the #bonus round tag, and this masterpost also contains links to each specific poll. there is also a spreadsheet with current bonus round standings and stats from the original bracket if you like numbers. :)

disclaimer: not a reylo hater. i'm just ardently devoted to the bit

DAY ONE

1. Adam/Eve (The Bible) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 2. Barbie/Ken (Barbie) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 3. Branch/Poppy (TROLLS) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 4. Hori/Kashima (Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 5. Naegi/Kirigiri (Dangan Ronpa) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 6. Fakir/Ahiru (Princess Tutu) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 7. Jake/Amy (Brooklyn 99) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 8. Sonic/Amy (Sonic the Hedgehog) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 9. Vax'ildan/Keyleth (Critical Role/TLOVM) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)

DAY TWO

10. Barry Bluejeans/Lup (The Adventure Zone: Balance) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 11. Westley/Buttercup (The Princess Bride) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 12. Lucas/Max (Stranger Things) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 13. Bella Swan/Edward Cullen (Twilight) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 14. Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa (Six of Crows) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 15. Zagreus/Megaera (Hades) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 16. Greg/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 17. Orpheus/Eurydice (Hadestown) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 18. Sans/Toriel (Undertale) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)

DAY THREE

19. Megamind/Roxanne (Megamind) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 20. Inuyasha/Kagome (Inuyasha) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 21. Mamoru/Usagi (Sailor Moon) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 22. Anne/Gilbert (Anne with an E) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 23. Mako/Raleigh (Pacific Rim) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 24. Nancy/Jonathan (Stranger Things) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 25. Wanda/Vision (Marvel/MCU) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 26. Aragorn/Arwen (Lord of the Rings) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 27. Rayla/Callum (The Dragon Prince) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)

DAY FOUR

X. Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars VS King Charles/Camilla (United Kingdom) 28. Anakin/Padme (Star Wars) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 29. Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sharma (Bridgerton) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 30. Percy/Vex'ahlia (Critical Role/TLOVM) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 31. Kyo/Tohru (Fruits Basket) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 32. Batman/Catwoman (DC) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 33. Tenth Doctor/Rose (Doctor Who) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 34. Cassian/Jyn (Star Wars) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 35. Joyce/Hopper (Stranger Things) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 36. Aang/Katara (ATLA) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)

DAY FIVE

37. Mermista/Seahawk (She-ra and the Princesses of Power) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 38. Robin/Starfire (DC/Teen Titans) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 39. Tamaki/Haruhi (Ouran High School Host Club) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 40. Mulder/Scully (The X-Files) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 41. Glimmer/Bow (She-ra and the Princesses of Power) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 42. Zuko/Katara (ATLA) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 43. Steven/Connie (Steven Universe) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 44. Han/Leia (Star Wars) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 45. Beast Boy/Raven (DC/Teen Titans) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)

DAY SIX

46. Edward/Winry (Fullmetal Alchemist) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 47. Peter/MJ (Marvel/MCU) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 48. Katniss/Peeta (The Hunger Games) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 49. Marinette/Adrien (Miraculous Ladybug) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 50. Kim Possible/Ron Stoppable (Kim Possible) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 51. Darcy/Elizabeth (Pride and Prejudice) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 52. Roy/Riza (Fullmetal Alchemist) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 53. Miles Morales/Gwen Stacy (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 54. Zelda/Link (Zelda Series) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)

DAY SEVEN

55. Twilight/Yor (Spy X Family) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 56. Sokka/Suki (ATLA) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 57. Hunter/Willow (The Owl House) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 58. Chidi/Eleanor (The Good Place) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 59. Ms. Piggy/Kermit (The Muppets) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 60. Rapunzel/Eugene (Tangled) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 61. Howl/Sophie (Howl’s Moving Castle) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 62. Percy/Annabeth (Percy Jackson Series) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 63. Morticia/Gomez (The Addams Family) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)

[brucebocchi]

Persona characters as NBA fans

my reasoning for each decision beneath the cut

Celtics/Akechi: Driven by an inhuman amount of spite and need to prove themselves when talent alone is more than enough to do the job. Just an insane amount of homophobic slurs

Nets/Labrys: She has a Brooklyn accent. Don’t overthink it.

Knicks/Ryoji: Say the name of the team out loud. You get it.

76ers/Maruki: “The Process” really was just mass brainwashing if you think about it

Raptors/Kamoshida: No hate to the Raptors organization but they really need to eat crow for letting Drake hitch his wagon to the franchise

Hawks/Ruferu: I don’t know shit about P5X but look at the birdy! Trae Young is also small and annoying,

Hornets/Eikichi: I thought the colors matched. I have never played a Persona game.

Magic/Elizabeth: She thinks the team name is literal. Are you going to tell her otherwise?

Heat/Akihiko: You just know he would be really fucking annoying about “Heat Culture”

Wizards/Yusuke: The hat has cherry blossoms on it and that was enough to shape his rooting interests. I’m enjoying giving him hilariously inept franchises.

Bulls/Erina: Nostalgia is all we have left.

Cavaliers/Haru: Haru is extremely rich and speaks exclusively in Comic Sans, just like Dan Gilbert

Pistons/Junpei: Found out about the “Bad Boy” days and was hooked, only to find out he was born a couple years after that era ended.

Pacers/Ken: Young and surprisingly potent on offense, just needs a few years to toughen up a bit

Bucks/Ohya: beer

Mavericks/Izanami: An unfairly powerful being, capable of manipulating the truth, who must be defeated swiftly. But enough about Miriam Adelson

Rockets/Lisa: She’s an enormous Sinophile so you know damn well she latched onto Yao Ming and never let go

Grizzlies/Kanji: “Uh, hell yeah! Grit n’ grind! Whoop that trick! Be a man!” (actually he just really wants to feel Grizz’s fur)

Pelicans/Chie: You cannot convince me that Chie Satonaka is not a pelican herself.

Spurs/Takemi: A color scheme favorable to goths, a history of solid fundamentals, and a total freak on the up-and-up. Victor Wembanyama is over two feet taller than her.

Nuggets/Yukiko: She just keeps picking the good ones man idk what to tell you

Timberwolves/Koromaru: dogy :) 

Thunder/Nanako: Youngest team in the NBA gets everyone’s favorite baby sister

Trail Blazers/Adachi: I like making him suffer with these

Jazz/Teddie: You’d think it’s because he’s the whitest boy imaginable but he read the “Personal Life” section of Karl Malone’s Wikipedia page and was inspired

Warriors/Sophia: If Silicon Valley gets its way, every Warriors fan will be replaced by an AI by 2035

Clippers/Metis: Perpetual younger sibling syndrome. May not actually exist

Lakers/Shido: He’s been courtside at every home game since 1985. You never noticed?

Suns/Konoe: Eternally at the mercy of the whims of an arrogant tech bro when an AI would probably do a better job

Kings/Yosuke: I like giving him moribund franchises but he’s actually picking up some W’s lately. Good for him!