#Kalani's just a guy

[zz-chikorita]

If your characters were in the ABO universe, what would they each be? (Leon, Guzma, Plumeria, Kukui, Molayne, Kalani, any of the grunts?)

So... *sweats* um full disclosure, I'm not the biggest fan of ABO. I don't hate it or anything (I've read a few entertaining ones in my time), but I don't think I'd ever find myself writing one. That being said, this is all hypothetical for fun, so I don't actually have an issue with answering this question. However, when I look at my story, I can't help but think about how fundamentally conflicting the ABO system is with the concept of māhū, something that is mentioned and explored multiple times.

I'll talk more about all that below the cut, but I'll go ahead and leave the TLDR here with the answer to your question:

Alphas- Kukui, Plumeria, B.

Betas- Molayne, Kalani, Leon

Omegas- Guzma, A.

For those that are not familiar, māhū is an identity in indigenous Hawaiian culture that translates roughly to a gender that is "somewhere in between." Thus, the entire notion of gender and what makes a man a man and a woman a woman is far more fluid than, say, a traditional western interpretation. I say that this is fundamentally conflicting with ABO because the ABO system is, by design, rigid- all people are broken up into very specific categories based on both gender and sex. Also, although it is not depicted this way in every ABO au, an individual's free will can often be overtaken by instinctual/biologically driven impulse. Needless to say, this is extremely counter to many aspects of the story, but most importantly, one of its underlying themes about how people grow and change over time (for better OR worse) and that the world and relationships (whether they be romantic, platonic, familial, or whatever) are NOT black and white.

[lobaznyuk]

the s*xual tension between me and the decision to watch the dance moms reunion

[peonyblossom]

i should make an au where kalani is a part of the endless summer crew and spends the whole time on la huerta geeking out about all the flora and fauna

[symliadoo]

love my boyband boys...

[sins-of-the-sea]

🥀Do you create bonds with mortals or avoid getting attached? { For all of them? Idk go off!! }

Questions for Immortals/Ancients

Captain Frascona sighs as he is the first to speak. "Both, I'm afraid. We may have sold our souls, but we are still human. It is not easy to keep ourselves wholly isolated from the world and avoid making any bonds with mortals. If we do, then we have to make efforts to keep it on an acquaintance level, or sever the friendship ahead of time when we feel that our secret is in any danger of being exposed."

"We would love to become attached; all of us came from parts of the world with a huge environmental emphasis on big families and loving communities. And while we are a crew of seven.... seven is not a big number. A house with a loving family will still need to open up to the rest of the world. We're not an island. We don't want to be. But we have to."

"It is more than just because we are immortal and must remain under a masquerade. We are the Seven Deadly Sins of the Sea. We made pacts with a devil in exchange for power. Our souls belong to him, and with that, our place in whatever afterlife awaits for us is forfeit. However, none of us considered that by giving him our souls, more of ourselves have been forfeit with them. That includes our place with humanity as a whole, as they are a part of God and the Universe, which our souls no longer are among."

"Not to mention the Master is a jealous and capricious being. With our souls bound to him, he is free and open to do whatever he wants with us as he so chooses, no questions asked. That includes releasing his anger upon anyone he feels is having more 'fealty' to them than we should for the Master. This can be a friend, lover, or a family member. The only reason the Captain, Giovanni, and Abena as a family, and Phoebus and Guy as brothers, are not destroyed is because they all are bound to the Master. But we have lost so many friends and loved ones if we try to be close for an extended length of time. Guangzhou is the biggest example of that."

"We don't want to risk exposing new people to the Master either. We're doing our best to keep our Crew of seven as just that: seven. The Master wants more souls, usually by us raiding them as his pirates. But as much as possible, we don't want him to obtain new thralls. Once someone takes an interest in making a pact with the Master, we have no power to dissuade that person or else we'll be severely punished. The best way right now to do this is to show everyone how unglamorous and horrifying it is to be bound to the Master."

"Not to mention we're just... horrible people. The Master constantly reminds us--and I mean constantly--on why we bound ourselves to him. If we become close to people, it has to be somewhat one-sided or surface-level, on the mortals' side. None of us seven are saints; we have committed atrocities for our Master for years. Some of us even did vile things long before we met the Master. If anyone knew what we did, then hearts will be broken--the mortal friends', and ours for having to cut ties. I mean, you people of the modern age make posts to shun and avoid folks for being terrible to other people, right? You'd rightfully do the same for us if you found out what we did."

"You have no idea how much we want, in all the entire world, to have close bonds with mortals. So, so very much. But we are in no position--ever--to have anything meaningful. We can't. We shouldn't. But the kindest of hearts sometimes see us through... and then we would be put into the hardest decisions to ever make. If anyone is strong enough... brave enough... to ever love us... and mean it... then either find the Devil's Eye before we do--and destroy it--or accept we cannot get close and move on. For their safety. And our punishment."

[sefusneezed]

INEPTUS MECHANICUS

Synopsis

Within the frigid cities of the forge-world Ineptus Anser, Manufactorium workers toil to death to create medical equipment and mass-produce medicines. In the dark alleyways hide gangs of scavengers, ready to pounce on unsuspecting Tech-Priests and tear their bionics from their remaining flesh. Thousands freeze throughout the night, unable to secure shelter to protect them from the bitter cold.

But all of these are 'poor people problems' to Katrumarius. As the narcissistic and airheaded nepotism baby of the forge-world's Archmagos, she already has the title of Metasurgeon despite her young age, and her borderline-heretical experiments result in nothing more than just a slap on the wrist. Her war criminal Tech-Marine friend Lyrane, supposedly tasked with learning from the forge-world's tech-adepts, gets stuck going along with Katrumarius's genetor shenanigans.

---

Character Refs

COMICS DIRECTORY:

La Creatura

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five (WIP)

SHORT ONE-OFFS

Old Men

Pickle Kat

Skit Plushie Fucking Dies

Epic Noosphere Gif

Father Daughter Bonding Experience!!! Gah!! Scary !!

Lyrane Gets Smacked

Kalanis Commits Insurance Fraud

Custom Mouse Cursor

ROGUE SKITARII OCS

Chocolate Milk Guys

[pokemon-ash-aus]

I'm sorry but I can't see Tio being mentioned without giggling a bit bc here in Brazil, tio means "uncle" so everytime I am just thinking people are calling him "uncle" lol

I don't know how to tell you this but-

Im mexican and it means the same lmao. I knew what i was getting into when i gave him the initial noclname Tio XD latiad is the same with Tia!

It's why, eventually, they do get real names like Kalani and Kaida!

For reference!

"I'm Tia!" Latias grinned before pointing at him. "And that's Tio."

Ash snickered, and he had to resist the urge to throw something at him.

"You guys are named after... Uncle and Aunt?" the Blonde one seemed skeptical.

"We uh- it's a nickname." Latios shrugged with a wince. "Our Parents nicknamed us after the dragon twins of the city."

It's also well known imto others as well

[monmuses]

5 of ur main best blogs to interact with, go :)

unprompted asks - always accepting!

OH SHIT OKAY i got some!

@mistermxrgan - recently doing more threads with them again but i love them! Hawk has a GREAT Arthur blog that they write and has an amazing AU written out. that, and their characterization of him is just. SO good, so good. i love Hawk <3

@pompedia - Pom is another one of my main homies that i just LOVE to chat with and write ideas with. unironically, she is one of THE coolest moots i've gotten the pleasure of knowing!! i love her a bunch, shes super chill AND super knowledgeable in Photoshop!

@iriselie - i love Max <3 she's one of my besties that i write with and she's actually super chill and a great writer! we have a lot of great ships & concepts that we've written together and they're just awesome. i LOVE MAX

@troublcmakcrs - Teddy is textbook definition badass. he's super chill and is a "gives no fucks" kind of guy and i LOVE THAT. he's got great muses and we've had generally super great chats together as of recently. trying to branch out into South Park again but i'm working on it!!

@gemscales-and-tea - also a great homie. i love Blaze and her muses <3 she's so much fun to talk to! i love chatting with her and writing with her muses. she's super chill and just fun to chat with. GO BE MOOTS WITH BLAZE >:(

there's so many other blogs i need to mention bc i feel bad only listing five so HERE'S EVERYBODY ELSE THAT I THINK ARE THE BEST BLOGS EVER! @13urningstars @redgentleengie @smolcuriouskitten @pcrplevenom @ncvabcrn @dyadhogs @starjynx @mannequinentity @thuganomxcs @thestupidmeanone @diistortion @wolfpackmuses @stolsas @corazcnes @olliesmultimuse @chainmemories @general-kalani @multiiplied @flowercrownd @reactivatedrockstar @carltongrimes @maykrisms @ironleonine @chishigure @popularmxnster @coolrpblog @mastcrmarksman @wonderalmighty @lawain-dimensional-heroes @electricea @file-fnd @eldritchborn @infernal-feminae @asea0fmxses @captainseamech @diresang @historias-multorum @wisteriagrcve @strykingback @bigveee @the-expatriate @slicing-clovers @cxffeeshxp @chazingrainbows @mothaus @familylightfox @bambino-muses

(if i didn't tag you, you're in this word vomit of tags here bc i love you <3)

[islandtarochips]

Monster COD AU: Watch your Steps

Arthur’s Note: This AU was inspired by @bluegiragi for their AU is SO cool and SO awesome! You guys should check it out!

*Alejandro and Kanoa were on point as they went to the enemy’s base* Kanoa, crouched down a bit as he look through his scope while hiding behind a bush: Just two enemies standing in front of the gate. Alejandro, nodded: Bueno. We shall go down there and deal with them. QUIETLY. Kanoa: Agreed. Let's go. *Alejandro took a step back as he accidentally stepped on Kanoa's shark tail* Kanoa: NGH! Alejandro, looked at the Captain confusingly: Captain? Are you alright? Kanoa: N-No...because you are stepping on my TAIL, uce. Alejandro, looked down as he jolted to see his boots on Kanoa's tail: Meirda! I am SO sorry! Kanoa: I-It’s ok…🥲 Alejandro: Um...will it make you feel better if YOU step on my tail? Kanoa: No no no! It's ok! I'm fine! Let's just get this mission going, ok? ~later~ *Agnes and Soap were on a stealth mission in the dock* Agnes: *was planting the bombs on the boat* Soap, was on guard making sure no enemy comes through: Are you almost done, Blast? Agnes: Almost done So-ACK! *covered her mouth* *Soap turned his head to see Agnes was covering her mouth* Soap: Lass, what's the MATTER?! *saw Agnes was looking down to see he was stepping onto her eel TAIL* Soap, gasped a little and quickly moved away before crouching down to hug her: I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry- Agnes, chuckled a little: I’m fine, Soap. Don’t worry. *Agnes sweat a bit at Soap still hugging her* Agnes: Um…Soap? I’m ok…John? ~later~ *Ghost was in a med bay with Aelan who was putting an icepack on his bruising eye and patching up his arm that was bleeding a bit* Aelan, bandaging his arm: ……HOW did this happen? Ghost: …First Sergeant Shark has some anger issues. Aelan: ………You stepped on her tail didn’t you? Ghost: ……maybe. Aelan: And you didn’t APOLOGIZE? Ghost: …….no. Aelan: WHY? Ghost: She just GROWLED at me! Aelan: Because you STEPPED on her TAIL, Lieutenant!

Arthur's Note: To let you guys know! Ever since I saw @bluegiragi post about the info of the 141, Los Vaqueros, Valeria, Graves, Konig and Horangi. In the Monster AU. It inspired me SO much for me to make my OCs into this AU. Did quite a bit of research of trying to find a PERFECT match for them! And let me listed down of what monster these guys are!

Tiala/Kanoa Toa - Shark Hybrid

Agnes Falagi - Eel Hybrid

Aelan Kalani - Just a human

Yeah. It's only Aelan who is human. But for these three! They are just sea creature hybrids! And I was imagining about their monster features! Which the number one thing that got me are their TAILS! As you can see, the shark and eel tails aren't that flexible like how Alejandro and Soap's monster tail were. So you can say that their tail are like heavy weight, getting dragged onto the ground. Which they're used it. But it IS easy to drag it in water since it could just float around better than dragging it on land. And since their tail dragged onto land, imagined the people accidentally STEPPED on it! That’s why I made this small skit to share this funny moments about the WTF’s situation if they’re a MONSTER! Lol.

Characters:

Tiala “Shark” Toa -> Me

Kanoa Toa -> Me

Agnes “Blast” Falagi -> Me

Aelan Kalani -> Me

Just wanna tag the peeps about this. Lol.

@deeptrashwitch @alypink @kaitaiga @welldonekhushi

@revnah1406 @sleepyconfusedpotato @dirtfullofwork

@sweet-samnang @iamcautiouslyoptimistic

@imagoddamnonionmason @applbottmjeens

[feral-mouse]

OH MY GOD SO MANY PEOPLE DIED OSJPAJFJKS. I'M SO SORRY RANDY IS SUCH A HARD BITCH TO SURVIVE ���😭😭. But anyways, let's get into the statistics 👀

I sadly won't be going through every character, but I'll try to explain my rankings

You can find the template here

First I'm gonna provide some color coding assignments, so if you wanna look for a specific oc, it'll be easier to do so lol

RED: Squirrel, Skull, Eugene

ORANGE: Tantrum, Clove, Fester, Elowyn

YELLOW: Cyrus

GREEN: Davis

BLUE: Dan, Bo, Oenis

PURPLE: Conrad, Ronny

PINK: Kalani, Colin, Vesper, Theo, Sable

Most/Least Likely to get Kidnapped

Dan is at the number one slot. SOMEONE HELP HIM. RANDY HAS BEEN MEANING TO EAT HIM FOR MONTHS NOW PSJFJSKA. THE SECOND DAVIS IS OUT OF THE PICTURE, DAN IS A DEAD MAN

Squirrel is next. Since she loves climbing trees, this means she's always out in the woods, and has a high likelihood of bumping into Randy lol

Then I have Conrad in third place because honestly, I feel like she's a danger magnet pajjcjs. Maybe she's seen way too many people bring Randy back to their hotel rooms, only for them to be found dead the next night. She made the mistake to confront him about it 😤

I've placed the people in the middle because I feel like they wouldn't be as likely to run into Randy, whether it's because they hang out in the wrong crowds, or because they won't venture the woods at night lol. It is leading with Vesper and Bo because they would smell delicious. Randy would approach them first 😔 pshjcksl

The last five starts with Fester. He might be too intimidating for Randy to try to eat lol. Randy does not want to get into a losing fight 😤. Next is Cyrus, who is only placed so low because he is VERY CAUTIOUS. He is making sure not to run into ANYONE. He wants to stay hidden. Davis is after him because if Randy goes after him, Dan might start to get suspicious. And he does honestly get the vibes that Davis wants to kill him too (he does lol). Oenis is there because he honestly does not look appetizing at all 😭. He looks so dirty and like he'd taste gross 😭

Then in the very last place is Skull. RANDY DOES NOT WANNA GET INTO A FIGHT WITH THIS GUY. HE COULD VERY CLEARLY OVERPOWER RANDY, AND HE DOES NOT WANNA TAKE THE RISK PSJFJKSL

Favorite/Horrendous Victim

Davis 👏 is 👏 number 👏 one 👏 👁👁. HUNT THAT BITCH DOOOOWN. Randy would honestly love to hunt Davis. Give him a taste of his own medicine. He'd love to put him in his place. Randy is actually stronger than Davis. Davis would put up a good fight, and it'd definitely be very fun for Randy to watch him struggle, but unfortunately, he is going to end up dead. Randy has a vendetta against Davis. Not only is Davis preventing him from kidnapping Dan, but he's also just so passively aggressive in general. He gets bad vibes from Davis, and feels like Davis is constantly judging him (which he is). Randy hates those types of people

Squirrel and Colin are next because Randy would have a blast hunting them down. I feel like Squirrel's not the type to go down without a fight. You know she's gonna be climbing up trees and using that to her advantage. It's gonna be something that Randy's never seen before. Sure, people have climbed the trees to get away from him, but Squirrel is different, she's experienced, she knows what she's doing and she's swift with it. For Colin, Randy would be mesmerized by his outfit, and also he'd love watching Colin squirm and freak out lol. He's such a cutie that you could gobble right up! 😋

Starting from Theo, Randy starts to have less of an enjoyable time because these people are fighting back lol. He does love a good chase, but also he does NOT like dying. If you're fighting him with the intent to kill, he's putting a stop to that immediately. That being said, I do still think Randy would have a good time interacting with some of them. Theo seems super nice, and Tantrum would honestly be a blast to fight, he would love her spirit >:). Clove would be very fascinating as well, considering he's a fox beastkin. After the initial awe though, Randy is going to have to adjust to fighting him. I'd imagine Clove is very nimble, so that would really catch Randy off guard

Eugene's right in the middle because he would be too boring, he's too passive 😔 pzjfks. Ronny and Sable would be too eager to kill Randy, so he doesn't like them either lol. Same with Skull, Cyrus, and Fester, except they'd REALLY wanna kill Randy osjfkl

Elowyn is in last place because Randy would honestly just find her annoying psjfksk. She would be going into this too tactically. She is coming up with plans and backup plans, trying to figure out how to use the woods to her advantage, coming up with ways to manipulate Randy. But all of that shit would fly over his head. Nothing she says is gonna land with him. He's just gonna be like "she talks way too much and I don't get any of it 🙄" before stabbing her in the stomach lol

DEAD

For the last section, I'm gonna start by talking about the people who die lol

Unfortunately, Vesper, Bo, Dan, Conrad, Elowyn, Eugene, Colin, Cyrus, and Tantrum getting EATEN PAJFKSKA. The others are getting eaten too, but they're dying in a scuffle. I'm sure everyone is fighting back, but these guys are fighting back. Tantrum and Cyrus are too, but I feel like they're easier to take down than the last three

Survivors who KILLED

Theo, Skull, and Clove are killing Randy. Of course, Theo is immortal lol. So even if Randy somehow kills him, Theo is getting back up when Randy least expects it and is stabbing him in the back

Skull's massive size and wolf strength is easily overpowering Randy

I feel like Clove would also get the upper hand on Randy because he's not used to hunting people who are so quick. Clove is dodging all of his swings and it would honestly freak him out lol. Randy wouldn't be thinking straight in his panic 😔

FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HE SPARES

He is vibing. He is chilling. They are all having a good time

Once Randy learns that Sable has been the one who's dumping bodies in the middle of the woods, they are immediately becoming best friends pekfkw. Killer solidarity. Sable needs a way to get rid of the bodies, and Randy needs to eat

I think Kalani would know exactly what to say to win Randy over and spare her, whether they end up as friends or lovers 😌

Squirrel is also just so cool. I could see them getting along really quickly lol. Randy might stop hunting her in the middle of it because her vibes are fantastic

Oenis is also surviving because the two of them would also get along lol. They have the same type of humor, and honestly I can imagine the both of them hunting people down together lol. Also, since Oenis is a shapeshifter, it would be an instant party trick between the two of them lol. Randy would love watching him turn into different people lol. (Also Oenis would NOT be pleasant to eat osjfjks. Man is too dense and chewy, he's grooosssss 😭)

Characters belong to...

@hurrl: Conrad, Kalani, Squirrel

@derekgoffard: Colin, Tantrum

@dread0narrival: Clove, Vesper

@weirdo-canniboy: Theo, Skull, Fester

@the-bees-knives: Oenis

The rest belong to me lol

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

OC Deep Dive Tag

I was tagged by @the-inkwell-variable <3 And those questions sound like questions that would be fun to answer for Caldyn.

I'll leave it an open tag, because it's quite long.

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

It's probably not very uncommon, but he's terribly afraid of fire.

Do they have any pet peeves?

People not putting stuff back from where they took it. Everything has its place, and if it's not there, he'll never find it again.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Well, first of all, it's a cave, not a room. Inside is. A bed. Rest depends on whether the lesbians got their hands on his interior decorations already.

What do they notice first in a person?

Very often their voice. Which doesn't do him much good with humans, because he can't interpret their tone. With his kind, it would be what they put in the telepathic meaning behind their words.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

I'd say 9. Poor guy went through it, and he'll ignore anything as long as he can until his body says "nope."

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Depends on the kind of pressure. When panicking, his first instinct is to flee, but when someone else is in danger, he will fight. If both come together, he can also freeze.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

All kalani are one big family, coming from the same tree.

What animal represents them best?

... a stick insect. Possibly a walking leaf. Just kidding. I always say he has capybara energy.

What is a smell that they dislike?

Lilac! For no particular reason whatsoever! :)

Have they broken any bones?

What goes for bones in his kind, yes. Too many of them. I sometimes wonder if it's quicker to list which ones weren't broken.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

What the fuck is that thing???

Are they a night owl or a morning bird?

Neither. His sleep schedule is pretty fucked, and he often stays up for more than 24 hours, but he likes day and night equally.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

Much to Lily's dismay, he doesn't like honey much. He does love the flavor of grilled meat, much to his dismay, because he's not going near any fire.

Do they have any hobbies?

Little crafts like weaving baskets or carving stuff. Talking to trees and flowers. Hopping into another plane of existence.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

What, where did he go?

Do they like to wear jewelry?

No.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

His handwriting was already shit before he went blind, and he never writes anymore.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

I'd say calm and curiosity. On a regular day - and despite all the shit I put him through, there are many regular days - he can sit silently for hours on end and just take in all the different sounds and smells and energies.

Do they have a favorite fabric?

He does not like fabric very much, but as long as it's not on his body, he enjoys fabric with a texture, or items made out of different fabrics with different textures.

What kind of accent do they have?

Well, he sounds rather wooden when he speaks.

[tinkabelle24]

Tribes

"Okay, your tribe names-- gonna be based on two of the most notorious pirates in fiction-- the Barbossa tribe, after Captain Hector Barbossa, of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. The Flint tribe, after Captain Nethanial Flint, of Disney's arguably most underrated storybook adaption - Treasure Planet."

~ Jeff Probst (Ep. 1: "Beg, Barter, Steal")

Barbossa (electric pink)

Raphael

Donatello

Vern "The Falcon"

Hoyt (@yorshie)

Abby (@tinkabelle24)

Kalani (@sketch-mer-6195)

Karai

Flint (yellow)

Leonardo

Michelangelo

Casey

Vee (@verothexeno)

Pria (@mysticboombox)

Kara (@margoteve)

Andi (@miss-andromeda)

NOTE -> I was gonna use text colours but yellow has disappeared from the desktop app, as well as the mobile app. My OCD self wouldn't allow for just one tribe to have their text colour 😅

I'm also working on the castaway profiles as we speak, including data analysis. I just waiting on info from one more of our contestants!

Almost there, guys!

@android-cap-007 @happymoonangel @jasminarts01 @obsessedftshit

[leaderpinhead]

Idia - The Tavern Scene

Prompt: "Fantasy AU"

You find yourself in a lively tavern. Patrons of all walks of life, from towering half-orcs to nimble gnomes, cram themselves into the small room from wall to wall, and laughter fills the air along with the mouthwatering smells of cooked meat and stew. Tiny fairy lights drift above the crowd, creating a light and cheerful ambience. Though you have no memories of traveling here, you find yourself relaxing thanks to the warm and welcome atmosphere. You walk deeper into the crowd in search of an empty table. You eventually find one, but upon sitting down, you realize three others have done the same. 

How do you introduce yourself? 

[“Roll for initiative!” 

“Huh? Initiative for what? I just said to introduce yourself.” 

“I wanna go first!” 

“You don’t have to roll initiative for that. Just go first.” 

“Shit! I got a natural one.” 

“You’re going last now.” 

“lol sucks to suck.” 

“Be nice, big brother!” 

“What’s initiative again?” 

“Introduce yourselves already!”] 

“I sit down after carefully propping my samurai sword against the table. I bow my head to each of you as a show of respect. Konbanwa. I pray you do not mind I claim this seat. I have traveled a great distance this evening.” 

“I smile and lean across the table like I wanna shake his hand. The heavy backpack I always carry accidentally knocks over the chair, and a few pebbles kinda break off my body and fall on the floor. Whoops! Sorry about that! I’m not used to being in such small places. I take his hand whether he wants me to or not and give it a hearty shake. My name’s Orzo! I point at the little fairy next to me. And this is Lulu! We’ve been traveling together for a long time. Lulu is the one who woke me up.” 

“I kinda bend forward from the force of his shake because he’s so large, but I act all cool about it. A pleasure to meet you both. I am Kenji.” 

“I just keep shaking his hand and smile because I have no awareness of human social cues.” 

[“Roll for constitution, Idia.” 

“Why?” 

“Because he’s a giant ass stone golem with no social awareness. He’s gonna crush your hand if you don’t do something.” 

“I got a six. Plus five which makes that eleven.”] 

Although you sense no ill-intent from this strange creature of earth and stone, you begin to feel the slow crush of bone as he slowly squeezes your hand tighter and tighter. Not knowing how this new companion will react to rejection, you smile and bear the intensifying pain shooting up your forearm as you formulate a plan to politely extract yourself from his grasp. 

[“Could I step in to break them apart before Idia loses his hand? 

“Yeah, go ahead. You’ll roll a d20 for charisma to see if your interjection is enough to distract Orzo.” 

“Can she have advantage since Orzo and Lulu already know each other?” 

“Sure. I’ll allow it.” 

“Great! You can use my die, Yuu!” 

“Thanks. So I just roll this and give you my number?” 

“Yeah. Roll twice and take the higher number. Then add the modifier on your character sheet for a final total. That’s how you’ll roll for skill checks, ability checks, and other stuff like that.” 

“Twenty-five.” 

“Your interjection is so successful that Orzo will never forget the social cue again.” 

“By the way, Yuu? You’re supposed to use our character’s name while we’re roleplaying. So I’m Orzo, Idia’s Kenji, and Kalani’s Gacktu.” 

“Right. Sorry!”] 

“Um, I’ll fly up onto the table since I’m assuming I can’t see anything from my chair anyway and...skip over to where their hands are. I’ll kinda flutter in the air next to their hands and grab Ortho—I mean Orzo’s wrist. Slow down there big guy! You’re gonna break another hand.” 

[“What? Why are you laughing?” 

“You sound so...squeaky.” 

“I’m supposed to be a fairy! Fairies sound squeaky.” 

“It makes me wanna squish you between my hands!” 

“As Gacktu or Kalani?” 

“Both!” 

“You need to stop hanging out with Floyd…”] 

With your reminder, Orzo recognizes Kenji is wincing in pain and releases him. Since you interjected when you did, Kenji is freed from Orzo’s hold before he takes any damage. Continue. 

“As I was saying [—stop laughing!—] you've gotta remember your strength big guy. Humans aren’t as sturdy as stone golems are.” 

[“Did you just get inducted into the mafia?” 

“Srsly. What is that accent?” 

“Shut up and let me roleplay!”] 

“I get tired of waiting for my turn to introduce myself and throw a stink bomb into the center of the table.” 

[“Are you kidding me?” 

“Everyone roll a dexterity save. You included, Kalani.” 

“My dexterity is shit.” 

“You did this to yourself. I told you if you were going to ruin my game with your random crap like you did the last one, then I was going to kill you in the first hour.” 

“Seventeen!” 

“Ten.” 

“Nat twenty.” 

“Freaking six.”] 

A small ball made of dried leather and stitched rather roughly together lands in the center of the table. Before you can deflect it back at the little booger sitting with you, a noxious green gas explodes from the seams. Both Orzo and Kenji dodge the attack; Lulu and Gacktu do not. Lulu takes three acid damage, and Gacktu takes six.” 

“Screams in goblin!” 

“I do this sick kind of backflip and grab my sword like I’m ready to attack. I do not know how your kind normally greet each other, but I will only allow such treatment once.” 

“I go to throw another stink bomb directly at the funny looking human. It’s just a friendly how-do-you-do!” 

“I see the stink bomb heading straight at me, and I don’t even hesitate to unsheathe my blade. The edges of it glow with purple wisps of magic, and the elvish symbols etched into the steel glow a similar purple. [I activate my cantrip Ghost Blade which allows me to parry physical and arcane attacks until my concentration is broken.] I parry the bomb off the flat edge of the blade and send it flying across the room.” 

You successfully parry the stink bomb, and it goes flying across the room just like you said. Unfortunately, the tavern is so crowded, there’s no way the stink bomb can be fully avoided. It explodes into another cloud of noxious green gas just like the first one. You all watch as a party of innocent gnomes are immediately incapacitated by the fumes. All of you need to roll perception saving rolls. 

[“I got a seven.” 

“Three. Fairies aren’t very perceptive.” 

“Neither are stone golems. I got a natural one.” 

“Twenty-seven, patootie!”] 

None of you except Gacktu notice a number of patrons turning in the direction of your table. Gacktu, you realize they are aware the stink bomb came from your table, but they don’t look like they know exactly who threw the bomb. Their wariness has shifted the light-hearted atmosphere. 

[“I don’t bring anyone’s attention to the people staring at us.” 

“We’re gonna get KO’d before we’re even able to order a drink...”] 

“I had kinda dove under the table to avoid the original bomb, but since I’m so big, you still see most of my body. So I’m essentially just hunched over with my head under the table. I wave Lulu over to me after I realize she took damage from the first stink bomb. Oh, no! Lulu! Come here so I can heal you before that nasty acid melts your wings.” 

[“Lemme see. I’ll use one of my tier one spell slots to cast Cure on her. And...she’ll get the max heals of six.”] 

“I crawl to the edge of the table and dramatically fall into Orzo’s hand for him to heal me. Thanks Orzzy. Now watch this. 

[“Since I’m a rogue, can I do this sleight of hand action to steal all the stink bombs off Gacktu?” 

“I’ll allow it with advantage. Do a skill check the same way you did the charisma check.” 

“You guys are boring.”] 

“Once I’m healed, I flit over to Gacktu. He doesn’t see me crawl into the pouch on his hip where he had pulled out the first bomb. I use my natural fairy magic to trap all the stink bombs in little bubbles of light, and they float into the air to join the fairy lights lighting the tavern.” 

The patrons see this and lose a bit of their wariness and return to what they were previously doing. Before you leave Gacktu’s pouch, you notice more odd leather balls of varying color. 

[“Oh, come on! Now you’re just being a patookie, Ladnar!” 

“You’ve angered this world’s god, and he is fully prepared to smite you. Yuu, roll another sleight of hand with advantage and an arcane check.”] 

You notice more odd leather balls of varying color, and with your knowledge of magic, you recognize these leather balls are potent bombs of alchemy. Having already experienced Gacktu’s short attention span and lack of patience, you decide it would be best to steal those balls and make them into fairy lights as well. 

[“Don’t I get to make some kind of saving throw?” 

“No. You’re distracted by your own mayhem. Strike all the stink bombs, smoke bombs, lightning bombs, fire bombs, firecrackers, and ice cubes from your inventory.” 

“You want my bath bombs too?” 

“Since you’re being a little shit, yes.” 

"I’ll make you regret this.”] 

“I fly back over to Orzo when I’m done and dance around his head. Look Orzo! Aren’t they pretty? And then I’ll pull out the bath bombs I stole and proudly show Orzo. And I got this! It smells like mint bubblegum, so I kept it for myself.” 

“I’ve never seen anything like that before. What does it do?” 

“I don’t know, but he obviously doesn’t use it. He smells like old cheese and swamp. We can try adding it to water later to make a potion!” 

“I relax a little since I saw Lulu take most of the bombs from the crazy goblin’s pouch, but I keep my hand on my sword just to be ready. I don’t sit again, but I stand next to the table. I see that you, Lulu and Orzo, may be more trustworthy than this creature. Tell me, do either of you know this area well? I have found myself here, but I have no memory of my travels.” 

“What a coincidence! Neither do we. I’m not that great when it comes to directions, but Lulu’s really good with maps. She keeps really good track of where we travel, but there’s nothing on her map after we left the last town we were in. I dig into my backpack and pull out a small map that’s barely larger than the palm of my hand. See? Nothing there.” 

[“Can the map just be a bunch of scribbles with cartoons that look vaguely like mountains and forests?” 

“It’s your map. You get to decide how all of your personal things look and what they do, just like you decide what your character does. I’m giving you the overarching story and directing you through it.” 

“Cool. So the map basically looks like a kid drew it with crayons. There’s some green scribbles in one corner that looks like it might be a forest and some grey scribbles at the top that kind of look like mountains or clouds. In one section of the map is a cartoon of a cat that has a bunch of exclamation marks and a red stain next to it. There’s a bunch of black scribbles that kinda look like a large ball of yarn all over the paper with random red X’s scattered here and there. Above each X is the word HERE, and only one X has a HERE that hasn’t been scribbled out.] 

“I point at the one X and say, Last I checked, we were there, but now we’re here, but it’s not the same here as there, so it can’t be here, here, or here. I’m pointing at the other X’s as I say that. So the only here it could be is right here! And then I take a little red crayon out of the pocket of my little leaf overalls and make a giant X in the middle of the map.” 

“So we do know where we are! See? I told you. Lulu is great with maps! I go to give Lulu a high-five even though she’s barely the size of my palm.” 

“I give him a high-five by tackling his hand with my entire body.” 

[“Can I do a perception check to see if the people in the tavern are watching us again?” 

“Why are you trying to ruin this moment?” 

“I want to play the game, and this is getting boring!” 

“Fine. Do a perception check.” 

“Sixteen.”] 

You see the patrons who were suspicious of you earlier have returned to their drinks and company. They’re not looking in your direction at all. [“Are you happy now?” 

“Yes. What does the bar area of the tavern look like?” 

“It looks like any other tavern. I didn’t plan for you to linger here long enough to put any special detail into it.” 

“Hmm. So I’m assuming they have stereotypical tavern fare. Like barrels of ale.” 

“Yes. What are you fishing for?” 

“Nothing. Continue.”] 

"I'm nodding my head as Lulu explains her map to me. but I’ve decided Orzo and Lulu are not a reliable source to answer any of my questions. Perhaps we may travel together for a while to—.” 

“I cast Fire Bolt on the barrels of ale behind the bar and yell, Kowabunga!” 

[“Are you serious right now?” 

“Kalani!” 

“GG bois. We’re cooked. Literally.” 

“No. No. No! He is not doing this again. I will not have another space funeral like the Meteor Odyssey campaign. Everyone roll dexterity!” 

“One.” 

“Four” 

“Nine.” 

“Twenty! Ahahahaha!” 

“Crap. All of you except Kalani take fire damage. Lemme see...Idia you take three damage; Ortho you only take two; and Yuu...how much health do you have?” 

“I only have six since I’m a tiny fairy.” 

“...” 

“Am I already dead?” 

“You’re not by chance a fire fairy, are you?” 

“No.” 

“Then yeah, you’re dead.”] 

“Lulu! No! You can’t die on me!” 

“Orzo. My friend. I’m afraid...this is the end. Bleh.” 

[“You know, we might be roleplaying, but you don’t have to actually lay on the floor and die.” 

“Yes, I do, Idia.” 

“No, you—.” 

“Yes, I do, Idia.” 

“Fine. Whatever.” 

“All the people that were angry at us earlier have to be even angrier now. Angry enough to start a tavern brawl!” 

“Why are you trying to fabricate an unnecessary fight this early. I had it planned for you to fight an undying—.” 

“Too slow! Not enough violence. Gacktu crave violence!” 

“You know what? Fine!”] 

As the fire ravages through the room, engulfing Lulu’s small body— 

“Lulu! Who will guide me with their maps now?” 

“Bleh!” 

—the patrons who noticed your infighting earlier begin to converge on your table. The flames reflect off the surface of their eyes, and you can see the same angry heat personified in their movements. Many of them are unarmed, but others pull daggers from their belts. Because of your location in the far back corner, you have no choice but to engage with them. 

[“Roll initiative so we can get this bloodbath over with and call it a day. Everyone is at a disadvantage except Kalani because he’s the one that started all this.” 

“Fourteen. Not that it matters.” 

“Another twenty!” 

“I’m just going to sit next to where Lulu once was and let the fire take me.” 

“You don’t have to do that Ortho.” 

“I do! We were the best of companions, and I could never continue my journey without you! Bleh!” 

“I’m starting to think you two just want to lay on the floor.” 

“Kalani and Idia, you both rolled under what I just rolled for the tavern group, so they all go before you.” 

“How many are there?” 

“Twenty-six.” 

“Crap...” 

“The six unarmed patrons move to get into attack range, but their movement is impended by the fire, which leaves them five meters short of reaching you. Six of the patrons wielding daggers do the same. Five of those patrons with daggers throw their weapons at Gacktu. What’s your AC?” 

“Ten.” 

“They all hit for a total of twenty-five. Each.” 

“Gacktu will slowly fall to the ground, and his screams become all gurgly as blood gushes out of his throat and the wounds where the daggers penetrate him. Ahhhhhgghghghgh!” 

“Ew. You just spit all over my tablet.” 

“Welcome to death, Gacktu.” 

“Why does the Underworld smell like vinegar?” 

“The other patrons move forward.” 

“I’m rolling for immediate death. Nat twenty. GG. I’m out.”] 

“Are you happy now, Kalani?” Ladnar snapped. He closed his laptop with a heavy slam. The squinted glare he directed at the cackling boy sprawled on the ground made Idia hide behind his tablet. “You managed to ruin another campaign in less than half an hour. Congratulations.” 

“I had fun,” Yuu said. She shifted to look less “dead.” Ortho snickered where he sprawled across her stomach. “It sucks that I died before I could stab anyone with my twin knitting needles, but I’ll play as Lulu the thieving fairy again the next time you play.” 

“I’m not ever playing with Kalani again,” Ladnar insisted. He fidgeted with his glasses. Azul usually did the same when he lost a game in their Board Game Club meetings, so Idia figured it was just a habit all glasses-wearing people had. “Why do you have to blow up everything before the campaign even starts?” 

“‘Cause it gets so boring,” Kalani groaned. He wiggled around on the floor until he bumped up against Yuu. Yuu’s nose wrinkled when he flung his palm into her face. “Does my hand smell like vinegar?” 

“Ew. It does. Why do you smell like that?” 

“It’s the floor! Someone spilled vinegar on the floor!” 

“You were also eating salt and vinegar chips before we started,” Ortho argued. He rolled onto his stomach and propped his elbows on Yuu. He kicked his legs in the air behind him. “I’m gonna agree with Ladnar though. You can’t play with us anymore.” 

“Aw! You too kaikaina?” Kalani groaned. He rolled around on the floor. Idia couldn’t help imagining him being a little child throwing a tantrum with his flailing limbs. “I was just tryin’ to make things more exciting and get the story moving!” 

“I told you during session 0 that our first session would be a little slow!” Ladnar argued. Idia slowly slid down his chair until he could barely see Ladnar’s reddening face over the table. “We’re establishing the setting and story. I had a combat sequence planned to end the session that would have been a satisfying cliffhanger and helped ease Yuu into the game mechanics. But she didn't even get a chance to fight because you killed her!” 

Kalani stuck out his tongue so far that Idia thought he would stick it up his nose. “You were taking too long. We’ve been playing for two hours now!” 

“We’ve barely been here for twenty minutes!” 

Idia slithered out of his chair as the argument between Ladnar and Kalani escalated. He army crawled to join Ortho and Yuu. Ortho giggled, and Yuu grunted when Idia “accidentally” knocked his bony elbow against hers. “See why I don’t usually play TTRPG IRL? At least online you can kick a griefer from the campaign and block them.” 

"Technically, we didn’t have to just die,” Ortho said, “but it didn’t sound like Kalani was really feeling the setting. We can always try again next week!” 

“Yeah,” Yuu said. Idia hissed through his teeth when she dug her elbow into his. “Playing games online isn’t bad but getting to watch everyone act out their character is a lot more fun than I thought it would be.” 

“Oh!” Ortho popped up off the floor in one fluid motion. Ladnar and Kalani’s argument had dissolved into them throwing insults at each other, Kalani shouting nonsense while Ladnar blinked in and out of existence. “We should invite Vil to play with us! I could totally see him playing a high elf, noble, warlock!” 

Idia snorted and propped himself on his elbows to check the gacha games notifications on his tablet. “Yeah, right. Like Vil would agree to—.” 

“He says he’s down as long as it doesn’t conflict with his schedule,” Yuu interrupted. Idia’s head snapped towards her so suddenly that a muscle in his neck twinged in pain. Yuu had pulled out her phone and was obviously messaging someone. “I bet Lilia would enjoy a game like this too. Is there a limit to how many people can play?” 

“Five is a pretty common number for most campaigns,” Ortho answered. Idia shot Ortho a wide-eyed look at his encouragement, but he appeared as enthusiastic at the prospect of more players as Yuu did. “Six might get a little busy, but Ladnar’s hosted a campaign with ten other dorm mates before. I’ll go ask him how many players would work with a campaign reset!” 

Idia stared in silent horror when Ortho flew over to talk to Ladnar, interrupting Kalani’s attempts to reenact his character’s fire spell. Idia groaned and dropped his face into his hands. “This was just supposed to be a one-time thing…” 

“Azul says he’ll play if it counts as club time.” 

Idia groaned again and felt his Fate was sealed when he heard another happy exclamation from Ortho. It was one thing to play a TTRPG with his dorm mates—who were all as nerdy as him even if one of those dorm mates was Kalani—but people like Vil, and Lilia, and even Azul? He might as well melt into a nerdy puddle right now and save himself the embarrassment. All because he had jokingly said he would set up a game if Yuu filled out a huge character sheet, complete with three pages of a full backstory. 

He was never making an offhanded promise to the prefect ever again. 

[hurrl]

💋 and 🩸 for everyone?

Also IF THAT IS TOO MANY PEOPLE YOU CAN ONLY DO AS MUCH AS YOU WANT TO IT'S OK 👀💦💦💦

OH MOUSE, THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS BUT IM ONLY GONNA ANSWER THE KISS QUESTION CAUSE ITS LONG THERE'S A LOT SO I PUT THEM UNDER THE CUT

💋 (kiss) - Is your oc a good kisser? Have they kissed anyone before? Do they even enjoy kissing? What was their first kiss like in comparison to their most recent? Kalani- That girl is a marvelous kisser, she's really good at gauging what her partner likes and adjusts herself accordingly. Do they prefer sloppy and rough or sweet and slow? From sweet little pecks on the cheek to breathless make-outs, she likes it all. Her lips are buttery soft and her breath is always fresh 👍(she makes SURE). Kissing is just AFFECTION, and she loves giving and receiving affection 😌 Her first kiss was a stage kiss when she was in high school BUT if you're not counting that, her first real kiss was with (and if you haven't seen the lore change, hi) her best friend in college, Valentina. Gosh, that really was something 😳 unfortunately, it was that kiss that led to the end of their friendship (and Val!). NOW HER MOST RECENT KISS was with her deceased husband (Geez! Maybe don't kiss her, you'll end up dead!) who... no yeah it was bad, she had to ask him to kiss her. There were no ZING no SPARKS; she had already been disillusioned-that man wanted her money and a hole to shove his dick into and nothing more. It made her feel icky knowing that she was just being used.

So yeah, the kiss with Val wins with her, despite how it ended, her first kiss was with someone who loved her. That's what matters most💞

Hugo: You know what this is up for debate, this guy is a SELFISH and AGRESSIVE kisser. There's tongue, he grabs, he bites... but does he even like to kiss? Intimacy is a form of escapism for Hugo, all of his kisses are hungry, he needs to get out of whatever state of mind he's in, to get lost completely in another person. If he kisses you, it means he fully intends on sleeping with you and never seeing you again. Kind of a dick move, and he's aware. It doesn't make him feel good about himself but he doesn't change either.

Like his most recent kiss; his first kiss doesn't matter.

Wolfgang: THIS MAN HAS NEVER BEEN KISSED IN HIS LIFE. He gets no bitches, zero play, zero pull. And when he does get his first kiss IT WILL SHOW. That man is nervous and sweating and WHOOS sorry you got like a foot of tongue down your throat!

Lilith: She is a GOOD KISSER. Anyone who has kissed Lilith knows this, and she's never had any complaints, but she doesn't particularly like or dislike kissing 🤷‍♂️ it's just a thing people do! She is not going out of her way to kiss people, and doesn't understand why anyone would want to kiss her (she is aware that objectively, she is strange/weird looking) but if someone asks, she's not gonna say no. Her first and last kisses were done at the nightclub where she works and she felt the same about both- neutral. Conrad: ANOTHER BITCH WHO HAS NEVER BEEN KISSED. Her and Wolfgang, the rizzless twins. Must run in the family. She has never gotten close enough to anyone to want to kiss them 😭 this is not a topic that weighs heavy on her mind. The girl is perfectly pleased with the way her life the way it is 🙂‍↕️. Though, I think if anyone ever builds that sort of relationship with her, she'd be a wreck. You'd have to guide that girl.

Squirrel: YES YES YES!! THIS BITCH LOVES TO KISS BITCHES. She's kissing friends, she's kissing strangers, she's kissing your mother, your father, YOU. Kissing's fun!! Casual or otherwise!

Her first kiss wasn't pleasant. She was fifteen and It had been a "prank" that ended up outing her to her school.

HER MOST RECENT KISS WAS BOMB, THOUGH, it was with Astrid, the drummer in her band and dear friend 😌. Sometimes you just gotta kiss the homies, you know.

Chrysalis: Oh her kisses are FIRE 🔥but she typically kisses with the intention of teasing. She wants to get you hot and bothered so she can make fun of you for getting HORNY over a kiss. That's just her way 💅

Her first kiss was during spin the bottle and her last kiss was done at the club 🕺during a steamy dancefloor session. The club wins, obviously

[rxdhairxdsirxns]

@general-kalani ANSWERED [ X ]

----- "GUYS, come on, you can't just go running off from your daddy like that. You can see me when I come to visit."

Taryn gave the wolves a firm talking to, but they were clearly unfazed as they stared up at her, wagged their tails, and continued to nudge at her hands and paw at her legs.

They seemed to know the word 'daddy', however, as they glanced between her and Jacob before one began nudging a little harder at the back of her legs, pushing her towards him.

"Wha -- jeez, come on!"

[sefusneezed]

What was Kat's upbringing like (with having three dads)

Ermm TECHNICALLY one dad and two uncles 🤓🤓🤓🤓

UHHHH probably not the typical admech upbringing experience. She didn't have any like, tiger parent stuff. But its honestly not any typical upbringing experience in general lmfao Von Kuronar is nuts.

She's an orphan and adopted RIP but she doesn't remember her birth parents because she was literally an infant when Von Kuronar took her in. Like five months old. This guy who claims he's ALL logic NO emotion went out and adopted a baby just to spite the ecclesiarchy who was calling her blessed by the Emperor when it was his skitarii blessed by the OMNISSIAH who found her. Then he comes back to the rest of the gang ranting about the hardships of being a single father and Kalanis and Mordekai are just confused as hell.

Problem is this guy had no idea what he was doing. A SUPER old archmagos who's not only disconnected and out of touch, but also unhinged and strange in general to begin with. He's literally the worst guy you could pick for parenting. Dude yells way too much at everyone, he had to get his vocal chords augmented so they can handle the amount of yelling he does. He just seems angry all the time. Literally everything he says can be taken negatively. And he just Cannot Relate to stupid biological child problems so he has no idea what to do when she comes crying over random kid stuff and he ends up saying and doing the stupidest most braindead stuff you can imagine to try and "fix" it. I mean, dude tried his best. He read as many parenting books as possible. Let's her get away with everything (literally bans her from the biologis labs and then conveniently "forgets" the next day) And he spoils tf outta her. So then you get this weird disconnected dynamic that's literally just based off miscommunication where he loves her as his own and thinks her not wanting to be around him is just "grr my dad is old and NOT cool" but then actually she's just scared of him and every interaction is awkward as hell. He will not admit any fault though he did nothing wrong he is the best dad. UHH MORE INFO She was homeschooled. She was so bad at basic admech stuff that she would not has survived in any kinda schola and it got too expensive to keep bribing them. She does not vibe with the machine spirits and tbh didn't have much interest in them anyway. But its ok she makes up for it by being a biologis savant. Literally ten years old and doing open heart surgery sticking augmentations on people messing with clone vats. It's so weird she is so bad at machinery unless that machinery has SOMETHING to do with biology, and then she's a genius. So Kuronar just let her focus on that because mechanics was just painful for everyone involved when she did that. Unfortunately UHH she also had no friends. Literally none besides like, SUPER old people and servitors because like she just simply didn't know anyone else. She was so lonely she harassed anyone who made the mistake of giving her attention RIP to all of Kalanis' offworld diplomat guests.

In general umm it wasn't really good but it wasn't bad either?? I mean, its kind of shit but in the context of 40k childhoods she was soooo lucky. Didn't even have the typical admech rigid structures and schedules and whatever smh smh they just let her do whatever she wanted. Sucks for her though because she's still a big nerd who made HERSELF study biologis stuff and now everyone must suffer for it when the latest Kat Beast escapes containment. They should have just left her with the ecclesiarchy and made them deal with her.