#i know they chose to take part as grown adults and i respect that

[lobaznyuk]

the s*xual tension between me and the decision to watch the dance moms reunion

[l1vchuu]

resentment. part five

part one. part two. part three. part four.

!! warnings: strong language and themes, you know the rest :)

Simon was lying down on his bed, staring at the wall. His brown eyes scanned the ceiling, searching for something to take off his mind. Something to drive him far, far away from all this mess. The mess he had created.

It was unusual, unusual for him to be the reason for someone else's suffering.

He stopped meeting with Amelia.

'Nonsense. You were the one who stuck to me, I never wanted any of this. It is not okay.' were his last words to her.

She nodded and walked away, it's not like love existed in the military anyway.

Look, it wasn't like his teammates drifted away from him or something, they continued to treat him the same- but the atmosphere was slightly different when he was around. It was heavier like the oxygen slowly escaped through the window when he appeared. It was an uneasy feeling, and Price didn't like any bit of it. He talked to him about the situation when you first left, but with your absence, there was nothing to look for in terms of progress.

You were a soldier for years, and have never taken a break since. You have a few honor medals here and there. You for sure were respected on base- that was the reason why you were in the 141. Every recruit adored you.

Captain Price didn't know if Simon had sent any letters before that, and he didn't have the right to see if he had in the first place. It was absolutely Simon's responsibility to fix this, but how will he approach it? It's not like he is not a full-grown adult, he can fix it all by himself. He will send a letter, of course. But he never wrote any letters, what will he do?

Simon was too afraid to ask for any help, he was always like that. Afraid that people will know that he is uncertain, that he doesn't know what to do.

He tried to sit down to write something multiple times, but he never got to anything. There were pieces of paper scattered all around his room all scrunched up, all of the attempts to contact you. It was hard for him to express his emotions, so there was absolutely no hope left.

He closed his eyes, trying to give peace to his mind in order to figure something out. What could he write in this situation?

Hello, how were you?

Hey...

Look, I know...

Good day, isn't it?

Everything seemed so stupid to him. Every word he tried to come up with sounded worse and worse. It felt like he was going to write a business email by reflex. It was like every syllable scraped his tongue like sand. The ideas in his mind were flowing at a rapid pace, like how Formula 1 cars chase each other for victory. Every word felt like a plead. Please come back, please, I need you.

His eyebrows furrowed, physically showing his irritation.

'What do I do?' Is all his mind repeated over and over again

He finally opened his eyes, his pupils adjusting to the darkness in the room. It was the end of fall, the start of winter, and the breeze flowing through the windows got colder and colder as time passed. The outline of the trees colored the walls, letting the light create all types of shapes. His eyes trailed to the window, which was slightly agape. He looked at it for a while before sitting up in his bed. The hesitance was growing in his mind, but he chose to ignore it all as he walked to the window, opening a pack of his old cigarettes- a habit that he tried to quit. There was no one to hide his packs anymore.

He grabbed one cigarette and lit it up, leaning his arms on the windowsill. The guilt in him was growing bigger with every puff he did, but he couldn't focus on that.

'She will get so mad if she sees me.'

But, she won't.

The smoke traveled with the wind, glazing through the wood as the smell faded away. He looked up at the sky. It was past midnight, so the full moon glowing down at him. All big and round, shining at him, making his eyes squint slightly.

He wondered if you were looking at it at the same time- and you were. God forbid, you were looking at the moon every night, hoping for change, hoping that the following day will bring you peace.

In the following moment, the pen was in his hand.

"The moon is pretty bright tonight, isn't it?

You said that when you were feeling unwell you would look up at the moon, and the thought of other people looking in the same direction as you made you feel less lonely. I see you in the moon every night.

Remember that one time we were on night duty? When it was another full moon, and you were looking at it. I could see every star reflecting off of your eyes, like a whole universe, at that moment. The wind blew your hair in front of your face, the pleasant smell of it hitting me in the face with every breath I took. You do smell really good.

This moment alone made me realize that maybe there was a calmness in this whole chaos. The first time where the silence didn't make me suffer. You brought peace into my life, and I took it away from yours.

Letters won't hold up all the things I need to tell you, and no punishment in hell would be enough for the things I've done. You have every right to not forgive me, because I will never forgive myself.

S."

Simon wasn't an award-winning writer, but that was all that he could manage to write. He couldn't bring himself to write more, it would take him days just to finish it. His mind was full enough, and the fact that he had mastered the courage was impressive.

-

You sat in your kitchen again, a cup of tea on your side as you held the paper in your hands, letting it scrape your fingers. A slight smile on your face as your eyes twinkled in the morning sun.

"Hello from the other side!

How are you feeling? We hope that home welcomed you nicely, (I would kill for a swig of scotch right now- J.)

Base is just as boring as it always was, even more boring without you around. We found these sketches at safe house 132, they are probably yours, they are pretty nice ones. We decided to draw you something as well. Don't you dare sell it to an art gallery, we know it's so beautiful, but it is for you! Unfortunately, that is all are allowed to send in, you know how it is :(

We bet it is freezing in your area, England can be cruel like that in the winter.

Anyhow, we wish you a peaceful break. And don't forget to bring gifts on your way back! Hope to hear from you soon!

All is well,

J, K, A :)"

You saw the small pieces of paper in the envelope- ones you drew on when a snowstorm hit on the way back from a mission, causing you to crash in one of the safe houses. There were drawings of all kinds of sea creatures- whales, sharks, and types of small fishes. Over them you wrote small passages of poetry- it really wasn't anything serious, just small words with big meanings.

The letter also included one piece of paper full of small doodles from your teammates. There were animals, faces, and flowers. It was amusing really- imagine three grown men sitting together and putting this up for you. This small gesture alone made you smile, the first genuine smile in a long time. You left the paper on the table as you took a sip from your tea, the warmth healing your throat. It has been a long week- it started snowing in your area, which you thought you would've liked, but you really didn't.

The thoughts in your head were just as confusing. What the hell was happening? You were a grown soldier, you had discipline, you had a strong heart... what was wrong with you??

It was like everything started melting slowly. You didn't have enough energy to go to the supermarket to do groceries, you barely kept yourself awake, and you couldn't even run a mile. You felt your fingers tighten around the mug, did you really want to open that last envelope? Your heart started beating rapidly, making your head slightly dizzy. You felt your limbs fall asleep, and suddenly your head weighed what seemed to be 100 pounds heavier. Soon enough, you were fast asleep on the table. You had fainted again.

Fainting was a coping mechanism your body was used to before when you were a teenager. Not only because of your eating disorder but also because of the stress you put yourself through. You were troubled at a young age. You forced yourself to suck up all the pain like a sponge. That was the reason you were like that at the moment.

You knew that holding in your emotions wasn't the resolution to your problems, but it was easier. That was why you became severely attached to the first person you shared your problems with. The first person who gave you a taste of what comfort felt like. You were reminded that, indeed, people had their own lives. But you were so... scared. What if you weirded him out? What if he had lost interest in putting up with you? What if he lost interest in you?

You cried so much, you wanted to feel his touch- his fingers up and down your back, his sweet voice in your ear, his dumb jokes, all in order to make you feel better, all while he was suffering from himself.

You missed this attention. Feeling like you mattered in someone's life? Feeling like you were finally valuable? And not just a dirty rag full of pain and emotions??

Were you going to feel like that again? After causing all this fuss... all because you felt bad. You wanted to bang your head against a wall, why did you do that? You should've sucked it up, to forget about everything. But now you were in your old apartment, passed out on the table, the cup of tea- now cold, just sitting over the papers.

A wave of shock went through your body as a thought struck your head.

'What will happen if you return? What if I acted like nothing had happened?'

'What kind of fucking idea is that?!'

Years ago, when you first decided to see a therapist, there was something she had told you about. You couldn't remember the correct name- but it was something along the lines of 'fake it till you make it' sort of thing. It was entirely possible for you to return... to forget about it... maybe change your whole personality- no, cut that- you could try to talk with Simon, you know? Instead of running away from your problems, like the little girl you were.

Running won't save you, not when you are running from yourself. Make yourself known, talk to people, let your anger out, let yourself feel. Instead of cutting yourself in order to feel something external, share a hug from a friend. Pretend like you were bigger than your own problems... because you were.

-

John Price went into his office, closing the door behind him. He sat in his chair, sighing. It was a long day for him and the coldness just made it a hell lot harder. There was a long pause until his radio went off, which he immediately rushed to turn on. It was a thing that rarely happened, so he became a little cautious.

"..."

"Captain... it's 2104 (your code), do you copy?"

He sighed in relief. It was just you.

"Yes, Sergeant. What is the matter?"

"I would like to request a time for return. Approximately in a few days."

He stared at the radio in slight confusion.

"Affirmative... is there a particular reason?"

"No reason, sir."

You and your reasons...

"Return as soon as you can, I'll inform the team."

You froze for a couple seconds.

'I'm really doing this, aren't I?' you thought to yourself.

"Sergeant? Do you copy?"

You blinked, immediately replying.

"Yes, sir."

There was a slight pause.

"Have a safe travel, Sergeant."

"Thank you, Captain."

There was a bleep, symbolizing the end of the conversation.

It took time to settle in... three, two, one

...

"WHAT DID I JUST DO?!" you whisper- yelled, your hand on your forehead. You stood up, pacing around in your room.

"No, no, no. This is not happening right now."

"What do I do? What do I say?... I should leave the military."

Definitely not doing that.

"Now people are going to think I'm crazy!"

Not far from the truth.

"Why is this happening to me?!"

Girl, you did this to yourself.

"Do I just get in and be like, 'Hi, guys! I'm sorry for leaving without telling you all, probably making you think I passed away! I've missed you!', and pretend like nothing happened?"

Most precisely, yes.

You packed your stuff, leaving the envelope on the bed. You can't just read it now.

The next day was your flight to the base...

What did you get yourself into?

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.☆.｡.:

I am SORRY for making y'all wait for this long. I accidentally wrote this part way longer than it was supposed to be, so the other half would be in the next part (which is going to be the final one), and then my mind went blank. The ideas just went outside my head!! Anyway, I really hope you forgive me! I love you all, sending a lot of hugs and kisses <3

[uyuforu]

https://www.tumblr.com/uyuforu/742760539006156801/hiii-i-wanted-to-know-which-part-of-my-natal

hello not my ask but could you do an example with jk chart? its ok if not i dont want to bother

hope you have good day

Jungkook's Style Evolution

Jungkook's style has been something very interesting to watch over the years. A Fashion style and the way dress always have an importance, at it reflects our personality, our tastes, our self, our mood but also our evolution as a being. And as we all know, JK's Fashion indeed changed over the years too. I thought it would be very interesting to take a look, and someone in the ask box asked me to do so. I wanted then to do a full analysis based on Natal Chart and Solar Returns. You can also check it and apply it to yourself! Please note that I couldn't put more than 30 images in this post, which was inconvenient in a way since I couldn't show more. I tried to take pictures that were a good representation of what JK wore every time. I also chose airport outfits since it is the most popular way to see about JK's fashion style and own fashion choices, other outfits were often chosen by stylists.

Techniques used: Natal Chart + Solar Returns

Placements used: Sun, Rising, Rising's ruler, 1H, MC, Venus, Venus's Ruler, Mars, Stellium for Natal Chart. Rising, Venus, Venus' Ruler, MC sometimes, Mars sometimes for Solar Returns.

Book a private reading: menus ; Q&A ; rules

⋅˚₊ Jungkook's Natal Chart Indicators ₊˚ ⋅

₊˚⊹ Jungkook's Sun is Virgo, and it makes him prefer casual clothing. He also prefers sporty style, clothing you can wear outside and inside, and clothing that are comfortable to move in. Simple, nothing too extravagant. The clothing he often wear are so more comfortable and casual than actually looking luxurious. He often wear jeans too. Colors are also basic ones.

₊˚⊹ Jungkook's Rising sign is Capricorn. JK will look masculine, dominant and a little scary or just distant usually. It makes him so chose clothing that will make him appear older, or he will want to dress a certain way that makes him appear as an actual adult. It makes sense since JK always has been often babied his whole life, he chose a style that is dark, and chose to appear a way to makes sense with his Rising. He wants to tell people through his fashion sense and appearance that he is a grown up, a man, and mostly an adult. He doesn't want people to keep treating him like a baby or a child. He wants people to respect him when they see him. The ruler of the Rising sign is Saturn which is in Aries 3H. Aries here makes sense with his style, his tattoos and mostly that JK wants to have a lot of muscles and wants to look attractive physically, he often takes care of his body shape. The 3H is a Gemini house, rulling the arms and hands, and this is where JK has tattoos. Despite his actual look and desire to appear older, JK will still have that youthful look of his, but his fashion style will so be chosen for him to be treated like a man and not a boy.

₊˚⊹ JK's Venus sign is in Libra, and being its own ruler, JK has indeed a good fashion sense. He cares a lot about how he looks and how the clothings he chooses to wear suit him. He is part of the people who can't go out in clothing they don't like. It doesn't have to be the runway kind of fashion whenever he goes out, but he needs to wear what he likes. Even if his outfits seem most of the time casual and comfortable, it is in fact his style and his fashion sense, and he actually likes this style. It looks like he doesn't care while in fact he does. JK also has a lot of different accessories he wears daily. His Venus is in 9H, he has an appearance that doesn't fit the Korean standards, despite that many other Koreans have tattoos and piercings, it is not considered something well seen in the country. More because JK is an idol. He made a revolutionary move by having so much tattoos, showing them freely. Even with his style.

₊˚⊹ JK's Mars sign is in Scorpio, making a lot of sense with the way he dresses. He looks very good in black and dark clothing. He likes the pull off the "Bad Boy" style and it is actually a good idea since it goes well with his Mars sign. He is very attractive and sexier in this outfits, not because of the style itself, but because it goes well with the placement. Dressing according to its Venus style is important but Mars is also very important since it will make you look good and attractive in the eyes of others. JK before used to dress in a much more casual and comfy style like his Sun sign. It suited him well but ever since he started to dress along his Mars sign, you can see his self confidence is higher. Piercings, showing much more his body shape, dark & black clothing, excellent choices. He owns the mysterious and hot guy style. His Tattoos, despite being his personal choices, actually also goes well with his style.

₊˚⊹ JK's MC is Libra, which represents his reputation. JK has the reputation to have a good fashion sense, he explored different styles, yet he knows how to dress well. He is considered as one of the best members of BTS to dress for airport style for example. He also has a good way to dress usually, and always seems to appear very good looking wherever he goes. Whatever he pulls off will suit him.

₊˚⊹ JK has a 1H & 8H stellium, which makes sense since he always stated that his body and appearance mattered much to him. He is often seen working out, and taking care of his appearance. He wants to look good, he also likes to be praised for how he looks, fashion wise but also just also about his body shape. The 8H stellium is clearly a big indicators about how people see him. JK's Neptune 1H first indicate people see him in a way that is not 100% true, they desire him for how he looks, but not actually him as a person. Having a 8H stellium makes JK appear very desirable for most people. He looks hot, sexy, mysterious, just someone people are obsessed with.

⋅˚₊ Jungkook's Natal Chart Indicators ₊˚ ⋅

જ⁀➴ SRC 2015-2016

₊˚⊹ This year, JK was Gemini Rising. This made him dressed in many different colors, and style. He wasn't afraid to mix colors, and mostly was dressing in a more colorful and joyful way. It was also a year of self discovery fashion wise, as JK sometimes wore black, and sometimes colorful outfits. With the 20° (Scorpio), we can see how JK was very shy about his appearance, his body language in most pictures that year made it obvious he was shy. He may also dressed in a way that made him look normal, basic, not extra to make him stand out. Despite also being young that year (He was 2017 years old), his Gemini rising also makes him dresses in a "childlike" fashion style, meaning he dresses as people his age, or with clothing that made him appear younger.

₊˚⊹ Fashion this year was indeed very colorful for men, it was also a year with simple clothing: a jacket, a skinny jean, a simple t-shirt. And backpacks seemed to be also pretty popular, something JK was often wearing that year. Cargo pants were also an iconic fashion trend that year, and JK didn't miss it. This style was similar to the Skater Boy, often wearing beanies too, pretty popular for men and boys around that year.

₊˚⊹ This year's Venus was Leo 3H, again a Gemini placement. With Leo Venus, Fashion could have been really important for him this year, he may have cared a lot. Being in the 3H, it must have been a way to express himself, maybe expressed his mood of the day.

₊˚⊹ Venus' Ruler is the Sun, being in 4H. He may have wanted to dress very much like Korean's Fashion this year, following trends and not wanting to stand out in his own style much. The Scorpio degree on the Sun also make sense, JK didn't seem to be very confident in his appearance, he so didn't want people to notice him much in his fashion style. What he wore was very simple.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2016-2017

₊˚⊹ For this year, JK was Virgo Rising, his fashion style was clear, neat, he was always very well dressed, every accessories making a perfect sense. He started dressing with neutral colors such as Black, dark colors, white, beige, and also often wore Jeans. Very casual fashion style. The 5° on his rising sign makes him have a good fashion style, it's not only casual, you can see that JK has a big interest in Fashion this year. The way he dresses felt like it actually mattered to him. It also makes him in touch with trends and the fashion world, as the way JK dresses was very similar to the trends of that time, despite JK wearing a more "casual" look.

₊˚⊹ JK's 1H Stellium also explains how he got a glow up this year, his appearance really mattered this year to him. Moreover, the Sun is in there, making it really obvious how important it was. His Fashion style was part of his identity.

₊˚⊹ Venus was in Libra 2H this year, with also the ruler being in its home. It was very obvious JK was really into fashion this year, dressing very well. That year, JK wore a lot of skinny jeans, showing his tights and hips very much. He wore casual yet luxurious outfits, which is very logical to me since the venus is in a Taurus House but also with a Taurus degree.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2017-2018

₊˚⊹ The way I just laugh out loud when I saw his SRC this year. It is just so obvious. This is the year JK started to dress in black mostly, Black and White were his only go to Fashion Style. Even jeans were black. This can be easily explained with his Scorpio Rising this year. JK also often wore a leather Jacker, which is such a Scorpio thing to me. It gives me bad boy style tbh. I don't wanna sound cliché tho. With the Cancer degree on the rising, JK indeed followed fashion Trends from Korea this year, Black was seen often and was a popular color (if I can say color).

₊˚⊹ Venus is once again in Leo this year, in 9H. Fashion style could have been also inspired from foreign lands, where indeed leather jackets was a trend. Having more dark colors on their outfits was something that we could often see. Fashion was also very important this year. JK was indeed popular for his bad boy look he wore. The Libra degree on the Venus made him always have a proper look, always looking very well out and harmonious. Being in 9H makes sense since his Fashion look were often popular when he was at the airport.

₊˚⊹ The Ruler is the Sun in 10H, and the MC being in Leo makes a lot of sense to me. Around those years, JK's fashion sense became very popular and his fashion style was part of his good reputation. He was popular for his fashion sense, the way he wore, but also how his fashion made him appear. People were going crazy and often called JK "hot", "sexy", etc. Coming back to the Scorpio Rising, this can also be explained as to why. That made him indeed appear as sexy, hot, and mysterious. People were obsessed with his look. The MC being in an Aquarius degree makes a lot of sense, JK was very popular for his fashion and his appearance online from this year.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2018-2019

₊˚⊹ This year, JK was Aquarius rising. It was very interesting since to me having Aquarius rising makes us look very unique, avant-garde and maybe even following our own fashion style without caring much about trends. JK this year continued to wore black often. Most of his outfits were that colors. He was often wearing clothings the he liked, not caring much about fashion itself compared the the previous years. He was more into comfortable clothing this year than fashion itself.

₊˚⊹ Fashion this year was actually pretty colorful on the runways. Despite the clothing were also comfortable for men, fashion was still around skinny jeans, simple t-shirts, etc. So JK actually dressed different from most of the fashion trends this year. He was still into fashion, but maybe detached himself from the fashion trends and started to go on a self-journey. He was finally finding his own style.

₊˚⊹ Venus this year was in Libra 8H. The darker color, even just black makes sense since it is in the 8H. JK was seen more often hiding his face, letting his bangs being long, often wearing hats and caps that were almost hiding his face. Fashion was still part of him, and he dressed well according to his body type and his tastes. Moreover, MC this year was in Scorpio, which makes a lot go sense.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2019-2020

₊˚⊹ This year was a brand new beginning for JK as he started to get Tattoos, the first ones on his hands. Funny thing since this year, JK was Gemini rising. And Gemini rules also over the hands but also the arms, and JK also had some more tattoos later in 2020, on the arms.

₊˚⊹ This year, JK was so Gemini Rising with a 9°. Despite Black was still being his go to color, he was wearing clothings with different style. He was also known for his iconic hairstyle this year (the curly hair), that people created the Dora meme with. He was wearing a sporty casual style, with big clothing that made him look tiny. He could wear very casual and good outfits and the next time wear a very casual and sporty outfit. It seemed like he cared and other times he was just wanting to wear more comfortable clothing.

₊˚⊹ Venus this year is in Virgo 4H, his style was very casual, and very everyday style. It was a style which was comfortable and you could wear everyday. The Ruler is in the same sign and house, which adds to the fact JK really wanted it to be comfy and without any extra. He was also wearing a lot of oversized clothing this year again, which add more comfort.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2020-2021

₊˚⊹ For 2020, JK was Leo Rising with Aries degree. JK wasn't wearing much on his heads this year, often wanting to show up with different hairstyles. His Fashion was more "fashionable" than comfortable this year. He often expressed his own style and give more importance to his clothing style. Patterns appeared much more than last year. While JK was always wearing simple clothing before, he showed more patterns from this SRC.

₊˚⊹ The Venus was in Cancer 11H, JK was still wearing comfortable clothings. He was still on finding his own style as the way he was dressing wasn't that seen on the runway. He was using trends in the way he wanted to wear them. For example, the plaid pattern was seen often on runways this year, and JK also wear those, but in a more casual manner, in a more comfortable manner.

₊˚⊹ Since his Venus's ruler is the Moon, it is in Aquarius 6H, comfortable clothing, and preferring to wear his own style. I think it's over these years JK really imposed his own style. He knew he was into comfortable and casual clothing, but I feel like it's around the beginning of 2020's that his fashion style really became his.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2021-2022

₊˚⊹ This year is really iconic to me, it is the years JK's QG's photoshoot went out and it was viral. An icon. His Rising this year was Scorpio 8°, full Scorpio. If you want to know more about the photoshoot, I advise you to take a look because it's the best representation of this rising. This year JK looked mysterious, often once again wearing black and not much patterns. He sometimes wore some but not much. He was mostly in plain black and mostly showing much more his abs and body shapes with his clothing. He was full on the piercings and tattoos. It was truly the bad boy style this year, it also reminds me of the Hongdae Men lol.

₊˚⊹ His Venus was Libra 12H, and I remember that JK's shoes collection was wild this year, people were often posting and discussing about his shoes. Since Pisces/ 12H rules over the feet, it makes a lot of sense. Coming back, indeed JK's sense of fashion was wild, and he was often seen posing for photoshoots. His Leo MC makes a lot of sense.

₊˚⊹ His rising's rulers were Mars (11H) and Pluto (3H), JK's fashion was very popular online this year too, he was still in his own style and not caring much about most of trends, he was wearing what he wanted, and I almost want to say he was the creator of trends. He was versatile, going to comfy to luxurious style. He could pull everything off!

જ⁀➴ SRC 2022-2023

Didn't include 2023-2024 since JK is currently in Military.

₊˚⊹ This year JK was Capricorn Rising. His style was def more dominant. The way he appeared was always was very masculine too, showing much more his skin, abs, and body. Even in photoshoots, he wasn't just trying to show his fashion sense, it was also about the vibe he wanted to give to people. During this SRC, Seven went out and I suggest you to look at the photoshoot of the album... :) Saturn being the Rising's ruler, is in the 1H, making it obvious JK wanted to show a strong appearance, proving to people he is not a child anymore.

₊˚⊹ The Venus was in Leo 7H, JK was wearing a good fashion style still. It was still his iconic look but he looked very attractive because of his good style. JK's fashion this year was less sporty and comfy, it was more about the actual fashion. He was wearing jeans and casual attire yet it was similar to the SRC 2016-2017. His clothing and fashion were really well put together and accessories were often seen on him. Not only his piercings, but necklaces and beanies too.

₊˚⊹ Venus ruler is the Sun which is in 8H,JK had a mysterious, sexy and hot aura once again this year. He was showing more his body and even while working he chose a style that looked like that. He also started to do a photoshoot for Calvin Klein this year, which was iconic to me. It was the first time people were actually seeing JK's abs. The photoshoot shows JK's persona, as a dark bad boy (he loves that style). It actually suits the MC, his reputation was someone hot, sexy and mostly a man that was really desired.

Thank you for reading!

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[dojae-huh]

Hello huh nim....how is your weekend?

I am jus here to share my thought on something that really making me curious...I have defined evry neos relationship with do except mark...I mean I dont knw about them and I cant read them... if I write about from sm rookies, right do babysitted him too much and after debut like you said mark kinda ran away from home and dont want dy to babysit him anymore okay....but this mark is very hyped whenever something to do with dy and i even got the feeling that he is very interested in dy in singing speaking caring anything etc (not in a romantic way). But sometimes I do felt like they are awkward too...and now this year they are interacting more and more like real brothers who cares for each other...and their ship is quite popular too..

Aaah....I just give up ...I dont knw anymore what are they really...do they like or little close or true buddies or real brothers or doing these all for the sake of their group or all for content or fan service etc...no...I cant read them....

Mark is the neo who calls Doyoung "mom" the most. "Parent-adopted child" more like.

Mark likes the support and praise, but doesn't want to be mentored or told "I know better". Maybe because he grew up in Canada, he doesn't follow age hierarchy too well. There is a running joke that Mark wants to be a 95-liner (Johnny-Yuta-Tae).

Mark is more childish (boyish) than Haechan in many ways, so, I guess, it still prompts Doyoung to feel the urge to baby him instead of switching to adult-adult relationship (which Mark wants). Doyoung thinks of himself as very grown up (well, he is). He makes friends with 30s and 40s y.o. easily. Of course, he acts as a maknae, but without the ability to share the worldview/topics, bridge the generational gap, it would be difficult. Here is were they are awkward. Do tries to be careful to not have another conflict, Mark poses as an adult, the one who takes care of others (his proclivity to calling everyone "child" and "cute", stroking Do's hair).

MarkDo are close, not as close as 2Dongs, but more than DoWoo. Remember that Do has a soft spot for all neos he saw small. They imprinted on him. I said before that Do chose Jeno, Jae, Tae and Mark as his faves himself. Hyuk chose Do. Mark is a rebellous child, Do wants to keep him nonetheless, so works for it.

When evaluating neos' relationships keep in mind their circumstances. It is better to think of them as relatives who are bound to stick together than as friends. When two people with different characters meet, if they don't click quick, they part, don't become friends. They have no incentive, time and pressure to find a common ground, work around their differences, learn each other's triggers, etc.

Neos can have characters that lead to conflicts or difference of opinions, values, however, their job, their co-habitation, their relience on each other during difficult times makes them bond, develop trust and gratitude/respect/love despite temporal fall outs and other relationship issues.

KunTen is a good example. There was a time Kun left their room to sleep with Hendery to avoid Ten, they argued so strongly. Still, they overcame their differences, and are now close.

Mark wanted to leave SM because he fought with than Donghyuk so much. And now they are like brothers, who maybe don't look on the same things the same way and get irritated with each other, spend more and more of their free time with different neos, but are very understanding and supportive of each other.

Doyoung thought back during trainees days Jaehyun was small (mentally). Imagine the gap he felt with Mark. I think it is easier to adjust to a person growing up when you meet a person from time to time than when that person is constantly by your side and the changes go unnoticed.

[megandzane]

The puppeteering and PR roles people want to play in Meghan's life as if she isn't in control of what she wants to do and how she wants to do it is tired. Cooking show? Why? Because she did some segments? Because she as part of the tig celebrated food? I've also see people want her to travel and attend events that don't fit her persona all so that they can be fed. Never mind she's a mum of two and has been doing what she wants when she wants. Them citing trauma is yet another play people who take in the UK's media nonsense love to control her with.

Not seeing or respecting Meghan as a person has been a running theme. Just yesterday I saw someone say they miss her voice as if she and they were on constant contact via phone. Talking about they listened to the podcast over and over and need to hear her. Wtf, I'm actually glad she's doing what she wants away from the push and pull from every one. I could never imagine.

Hopefully they want this for their own lives Meghan is living hers.

It’s very odd and screams parasocial relationship. Its one thing to be confused by some of the choices they make, but People thinking they know what’s best for a stranger will never not be weird to me. Meghan’s always come across as having such a strong sense of who she is, she doesn’t need strangers telling her what would be best.

It also reminds me of when fans were mad at Harry for “dragging” Meghan back to the UK, as if she’s not a grown ass adult with autonomy. She chose to accompany him. The minute you think you care more about someone than their own spouse it’s time to take several steps back.

I think it’s okay to miss someone you look up to but there’s a line. If your happiness is that dependent on seeing someone you don’t personally know, then it’s not healthy

[wickedlybadass]

JoJo Siwa needs to cool it

Look, I've always loved JoJo Siwa since DWTS. Always was sweet, fun, funny, hard-working and introspective as she grew up since Dance Moms. I've always enjoyed watching her grow up and become a beautiful young lady who has learned so much about herself. That's the important part of growing up! Always loved her on DWTS and I was very proud of her on "Special Forces" and as a judge on SYTYCD. She has a bright future, can go places and go big. She knows what hard work is and has so much talent and people love her. But that's just the thing.

Yes, people should've known that once she was an adult and really began to grow up, she was going to dump the bow. Do you really expect her to keep wearing it in her 50s??? Sooner or later, it was bound to happen. It was bound to happen that as she matured and got older that her fanbase and music and everything she's been working on would change. One day, her 9 year old fans were not going to follow her anymore unless they grew up with her and continued to love her, no matter what she chose to do with her life. One day, she was going to dump that bow and all the cute things like colorful clothing, stuff with candy all over or whatever. One day, she was going to change her music and no longer sing songs like "Boomerang." That's inevitable and expected as she got older! So I don't know why some people thought she'd keep wearing the bow and record songs similar to "Boomerang." People need to wake up and stop hating on her just because she's growing up. She's 21, not 12.

Now onto why I'm really posting this. I'm glad JoJo is still finding herself and evolving to fit her age. I think it's healthier than still wearing bows, bouncing off the walls and eating candy all day long! So perhaps JoJo's still young and trying to figure out herself but.... I think she may be taking this adult thing a bit too far. She was always sweet, caring and all that but now that she's 21, she's now drinking onstage, swearing (dropping the f bomb all over the place) every chance she gets and alienating a lot of people. Now she's losing fans and even instagram followers. I know part of it is because she has a new fanbase so those "Dance Moms" fans aren't interested in her anymore unless they stayed faithful to her while growing up with her and that's fine. However, she's so popular so how come she's losing fans and not keeping them with the fans who have grown up with her and not gaining older fans as much. Lots of instagram and tiktok fans are about her age!

If she wants to keep acting like this and lose followers, that's her business but I would think after all the hard work she has put in her whole life and the love she has shown to the world, she wouldn't want to do that. Hey, even without so many fans, I just don't see the point of her current behavior which is totally not like when she was younger with all the drinking and acting like doing so during a show is cool, swearing all the time and losing fans, all the people who have helped her get to where she is now. I think her fans have helped her get to where she was years ago and now and now she's treating them like.... different. One person at the pride concert late last month booed her and I get it. Whoever that was, maybe they didn't like her because of her being LGBT or because she's no longer a child. Whatever the reason, I get JoJo may be frustrated at that person but really, is that a reason to tell this person to go fuck themselves or something? Since when did she tell haters to do that? She should've known that she's older, it doesn't mean she's not going to get haters. Haters will always hate! But her response was very "un-JoJo-like". She always did love her fans and showed how much she appreciated them. Just because you're now older and an adult doesn't mean you respect people less or it means it's time to start acting like a bitchy diva. Ok, so she doesn't like being booed. Get over it! No one likes getting booed. Being an adult in show biz doesn't mean it's time to start drinking, alienating people and acting like a diva. She may be maturing but even at 16, she wasn't that much different than when she was 9 because she was always fun and hard working but now she thinks she can get by just by acting like someone she's not. Just be yourself! I don't think we're seeing the real JoJo Siwa unless she's now getting stoned or something. Being an adult is about being responsible and being respectful, not taking on a new attitude like, "Oh, i'm 21 now, I'm gonna go get drunk (or just drink) onstage now, swear at every person who boo me, do drugs and have sex with every girl I know!" I'm sorry but I think her behavior is really disappointing right now and I have no idea who this girl is anymore. If this is who JoJo Siwa is, I have no idea what just happened to her. But all I can say is who she always was is why she's where she is now in her life. Just be yourself! No need for the diva act or act like Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears. You don't get respect out of people like this unless you don't respect yourself.

I'm not saying go back to the bow or eat skittles all day. I'm just saying.... just cool it.

[shushxo]

If you had any self accountability than throwing unnecessary resentful daggers at me.

We could have grown together for this chapter.

You think it was easy for me absorbing your pain? resentment? anger?

You think it was easy feeling burn out and having imposter syndrome at work & school and adjusting to living in your space without having ANY space for myself for so long WHILE being a secret from everyone we love? You think it was easy for me to see you ignore my needs, my pleas for collaboration, my trials at connection, and forgiveness but look aside that and work towards the pathetic flaws you saw of mine? You think it was easy being told my interests and routines had no place here, you think it was easy combing through my own thoughts and impulses and training myself to breathe or remind myself forgiveness is effort, I know you saw how much I was changing for the better. That took intentional effort and time for a greater cause, us. I saw my pathetic flaws and I was committed to becoming better for myself and for us.

But you couldn’t? You choosing resentment, easy. You pointing the fingers at me, easy. You not being able to answer the same questions you force on me, easy. You not respecting that we can have different approaches to the same goal and can have our own interests, your way only- easy. Deflect, not process, not think, yell your surface level communication, say we don’t have anything in common, don’t self evaluate, don’t forgive, play the victim loop, sorry but no behavior changes all this time, runaway and start over, easy.easy. easy.

The guy I fell in love with and the guy that was there for YEARS would have chose to fight easy, and fight for the evolution of ourselves for each other.

When did he leave for good? a part of me thinks you would have had to change and grow up once we started holy sessions because you can’t hold on to such negativity in such a high order. And you weren’t ready to do that. even as you sit there saying we wanted different things, you also see that you ignored my compromises, my growth to have us both get what we want out of life. You couldn’t understand and believe me? You didn’t see who I was today and you could barely see yourself and you couldn’t see how things were impacting us and I ALWAYS kept thinking about us and YOU. “Move to LA? Give me a plan, go even do it and I’ll follow and always support, I’ll freeze to give us options in the future.” Remember that? You convinced yourself we were incompatible without doing the work to be compatible. Don’t you get it? We both had our human flaws and could have worked on it if you had the intention, that’s commitment.

Instead you literally chose your anger and fear versus growth and understanding. It’s quite sad because you stepped away from love by stubbornly clinging to your frozen state.…you made a decision for yourself vs. you’re going to choose to level up yourself & grow which is needed for ANY relationship (fam friends love)

Think, is this now giving you the sense of control you needed? Lone wolf it out that’s healthy right?

I hope you take the time to understand yourself, to be honest with yourself, to actually open growth & adulting, && to heal enough to truly feel a love again like I did for you. I hope you don’t continue to deflect and hide for your sake.. Or you know what you’ll find someone “easier”, sure.

I’ll never be the same in the way I love.

“It was momentary. It was legendary. It was unnecessary”

[casspurrjoybell-17]

Hart and Hunter - Chapter 33 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Dane Hunter

With anger coursing through me like fire, I reach the ridge in record time.

There, I stand on the precipice, overlooking the land that I've come to call mine.

If everything had gone according to plan tonight, I would be bound to it already, with my mate and my sisters at my side.

Instead, one of my sisters is kidnapped and my mate's cries of anger and dismay still ring in my ears.

Another voice echoes in my mind as well... my father's from long ago, teaching me a lesson after I'd grown too cocksure for my own good.

'An Alpha doesn't demand respect,' he'd said. 'He earns it.'

Isn't that what I'm doing, though?

Taking action... doing the right thing.

'Can the right thing be a mistake?' my father's imagined voice asks.

Unable to consider this properly as a Wolf, I Shift once more, the crack of bones and joints a little more agonizing this time.

Shifting is tough on the body and doing so too often takes its toll.

Human once more, I sit on a smooth, rounded rock, releasing my breath in a groan of mingled frustration and pain and survey my potential territory as I struggle to arrange my thoughts.

In the heat of anger, the choice had seemed obvious... take the Alpha, gain the power, rescue Ingrid.

Now, alone when I should least be alone, my doubt returns full strength.

'Life is a series of choices,' is another thing my dad would say.

'And a handful of those choices reveal who you really are.'

This certainly feels like one of them and despite my earlier eagerness to dive straight into action, consequences be damned, now 'damned' feels like exactly what I am... damned if I do... damned if I don't.

If I don't take the Alpha tonight, I could lose Ingrid.

If I do take it... I could lose everything.

I don't need to ask what my Dad would do in my place.

I know.

My mom's an Alpha too, and they've always worked together.

They each have their strengths and areas in which they lead.

They rarely even have to verbalize decisions.

They just know what the other thinks and trust each other implicitly.

Whatever my Dad chose to do would be what my Mom decided, too and vice versa.

Unlike my Dad's, though, my mate's not a Wolf.

He's a Fae and a man and sometimes a mystery.

I wish more than anything that I had him at my side right now but I don't and that's the difference.

I fucked up.

I knew I fucked up the second I pushed Julian aside and ignored his pleas to stop and wait for him and it feels like whatever I do next, I'm gonna fuck up again.

"Damned if I do... damned if I don't," I mutter.

I have until dawn to decide which hell I'd rather live in but as I watch the moon's slow journey across the sky, my heart tells my choice is already made.

I just hope it's not a terrible mistake and that I can be forgiven for making it.

As dawn makes the eastern sky blush, I return home.

Shifting once more, I cover the distance in two hours, taking my time and arrive at the cottage just as the sun lifts clear of the horizon.

Trotting around to the back porch, I Shift again and take a few minutes to catch my breath before heading inside.

The house seems quiet, and while I'd imagined Julian wouldn't have been able to sleep, if he had, I don't want to disturb him.

Inside, however, I find the house abandoned.

"Julian? Freya?"

Concerns for restful sleep forgotten, I call their names at full volume but receive no reply.

My unease escalates to panic as I check each room twice and find no sign of either my sister or my mate.

Cursing myself, I retrieve my phone from the bedside table where I'd left it two days earlier and curse myself again for not having plugged it in before I left.

The battery is dead.

Barely resisting the urge to hurl the useless device across the room, I plug it in and try to think clearly as I wait for it to charge enough to turn on.

I have years of training as a marine and a homicide detective to fall back on but I also just spent the better part of two days as a wolf.

I haven't eaten, I've barely slept, I've Shifted more times than is good for me in a brief span of time and my carefully laid plans have been destroyed like a sandcastle kicked by a mean kid.

My sister's been kidnapped and now, to top it all off, my mate is missing.

Not a great start to my rule as Alpha.

I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, forcing my mind into a stillness it resists.

Julian's scent is everywhere, the freshest mingled with hints of fear and stress but that's hardly unexpected.

There are signs of his and Freya's recent presence, too... dishes in the sink, a jacket draped across the back of the couch, an empty can of Red Bull on the counter 'Freya's, no doubt' which tell me they made it home safely and probably left only moments before my arrival.

There's no sign of a struggle, either and when I go to the window and look out, I see that Julian's car is gone.

This tells me they left alone and of their own free will... Julian's antique Volkswagen barely sits two and even then not comfortably.

With any other vehicle to choose from, only Julian would choose his own.

The question now is, where did he go and why?

Retrieving my keys and phone, I stride out to my car.

Remembering my wallet, I turn back and that's when I spot the yellow note stuck to the door... right where I'd have seen it if I'd used the front entrance when I returned.

"Gone to Danni's for supplies," I murmur, reading it aloud to myself.

"What the fuck for?"

Crumpling the note and tossing it aside, I shake my head as anger heats my core.

Whatever the reason, given the circumstances, it had better have been a damned good one.

[chuplayswithfire]

sidenote: i do not understand this frankly bullshit take i keep seeing floating about, where it was ed's responsibility to stop stede and izzy from dueling, and that furthermore it was cruel of ed to "make" stede go.

ed told izzy that they weren't doing this whole thing. izzy ignored him and challenged stede to a duel.

*stede*, knowing that ed was supposed to be killing him tonight and being capable of deductive reasoning and thus understanding that this duel would be a part of that whole plan, *agrees to the duel*

izzy, setting terms for a duel that ed has already told him he does not want to happen, declares that the loser will have to leave the ship

if ed intervened further and stopped the duel from happening, at best, stede loses a significant amount of his crew's respect, again, because no one's going to see this as izzy being shamed, they'd see it as blackbeard himself declaring that stede couldn't possibly win. at worst, stede would insist on the duel anyway, going in now knowing that ed doesn't think he can win and possibly disrespects his abilities as a fighter and as a man.

once the duel is underway, what, is ed supposed to intervene??? is he supposed to jump in on the duel and disqualify the fight, which would probably cause stede to lose and be banished from his ship, which he would be pissed at ed for? because again, disrespecting his abilities????

two grown men agreed to a duel, set the terms for the duel, engaged in the duel, and then one of those grown men, izzy, was furious that he had to be held to the terms HE proposed.

in what world is this ed's fault?? in what world is this something ed has done to izzy??? obviously on the doylist perspective none of these characters have agency, but on the watsonian one, they do, and the characters chose their actions.

on the doylist perspective, ed's non-interference is very clearly to give parallels to child!ed's behavior when watching his father hurt his mother - he flinches, grabs at the rigging, and looks away exactly as the young ed did when his father went in on his mother, and this is in part to show where ed's head is, but also to further align the fact that izzy is out of line here and firmly in the wrong.

now yes there's room to talk about how ed shouldn't have proposed the plan in the first place, and how he shouldn't have agreed again after facing peer pressure, but he didn't seize control of izzy to force this fight, and it's not actually his job to control every action these two adult men make. it would not have been his place to step in and stop the duel from happening or to intervene.

[vulgar-display-of-escapism]

Chibs Telford NSFW Alphabet Part 1

Let me just preface this by saying that I'm hitting a major self-doubt about my ability to actually finish this thing. So I figure I either post little by little or not at all.

WARNING: Not your usual ABCs, it's filthy down here.

Trigger warning: CNC. | Chibs's got dirty mouth.

Reader discretion is advised.

Recomended Soundtrack: Bad Things by Jace Everett | Dream On by Depeche Mode | I Like it Heavy by Halestorm | Savages by Royal Deluxe | Don’t Let Go by En Vogue | Love, Hate, Sex, Pain by Godsmack

A ~&~ Appetite

While Filip says he’s a grown-ass man and as such he is all about quality over quantity, you have yet to see the day your man would pass up an opportunity to get naked with you. ‘Don’t tease me, Pet. I’ve got to be at the clubhouse in 10 minutes.’ ‘The ride to TM takes you only 4 minutes, and that’s if you don’t run any red lights.’ ‘Brat.’ ‘Whatcha gonna do about it?’

He pounced.

So predictable.

~&~ Aftercare

Don’t get it twisted, girl. Sex with Chibs is no garden variety shag. The man plays rough, south of kinky and lives for that shit. That said, his post-coital ritual is a religion to him and you are the alter he worships on. After the scene is over and he’s done wrecking your body in the most savage and merciless ways, you’d better believe he will take care of both your body and your mind. ~~ You were a trembling, tear-streaked, breathless, and sweaty mess, but even in that fuzzy state between subspace and consciousness you couldn’t help but smirk a little. Your lover was just as wrecked as you were. His skin was glistening with sweat, goatee covered in the mixture of your juices and saliva and he was still fighting to catch half a breath. As soon as he did though, the magic would start flowing from that glorious mouth of his. ‘You’re a goddess,’ he finally rasped, reaching for your hand. As he started gently massaging your wrist, he asked, ‘Are ye alright, luv?’With that he brought your hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the inside of your palm. With the kind of reverence reserved just for you, he’d murmur against your skin, ‘I respect you, you know that, right? No matter how rough I play with you, you’re always safe with me. Always.’ You wanted to correct him “how we play”, but you chose to stay silent. This time. As smart as your man was, he needed reminding that you were not a plaything but a consenting adult fully capable of using your safe word if you ever felt you needed it. But tonight you let that go, you had no energy to form words right now. Especially as his hands were traveling down the sides of your body, soothing all the places where finger-shaped bruises were starting to form. Soon, Chibs’ mouth followed the same path as his hands had. You were pulled out of your bliss, by Filip’s hand on your stomach, ‘Didn’t hear me, did ya, Pet?’ ‘Mhmm.’ ‘You will be sore tomorrow.’ ‘I’m sore now.’ ‘Sorry, luv.’ It was your turn to chuckle, ‘no, you’re not.’ ‘Let me make it up to you with a nice, hot bath?’ ‘Only if you carry me to the bathroom.’ ‘Don’t I always?’, he replied with a wink before getting up and padding to the bathroom. ‘You do… Still not calling you daddy, though.’ You shouted playfully when he was out of sight. ‘Baby steps, my love, baby steps’

B ~&~ Boobs vs Butts If Chibs were to pick just one part of your body that did things to him, it would be the part with the most power to distract him - that mouth of yours. Always. From the way you lick your bottom lip after you’ve taken that first sip of coffee in the morning to the little pout, put on for show, when you are being a brat and sass him. And especially, especially - when he looks down at you - when you lick your lips right before you dart your tongue out to tease the tip of his cock. And Christ, both of those lips wrapped around his thick shaft as your try your best to take all of him deep. You’ll never succeed, he knows, but bless your heart, watching you try always makes him, well, harder. Your neck is another kind of aphrodisiac. The sight of your throat giving him one hell of a mental whiplash nearly every time. From the Crow tattoo running from just below your right ear to the faded scar across your throat, the crow’s outstretched wing caressing the old slash mark. The possessive surge he feels, it’s a shallow thing. He knows that, but all the same seeing that mark of ownership, HIS mark, displayed for everyone to see and right next to the remainder of what almost killed you - that gave him pride. You were still standing and you belonged to him. He was a sick fuck, so what…. he was well aware. On him, the choice is an obvious one - his hands.. He was capable of drawing out so many different reactions from your body with just those.

From the little shivers running down your spine when he glides his ringed fingers along your arm, in the most innocent of touches, while you’d be sitting in his lap during a party.

The way his gloved hand caressed the inside of your bare thigh, just above your knee, when he stopped at the red lights on the way home.

And how you always, driven by instinct, leaned forward into his grip whenever his fingers curled around your throat, whenever he reached for you to kiss you, not caring where you were or who saw that unmistakable sign of your submission and, with it, trust.

“That’s my needy little Pet” He’d murmur when you were shamelessly riding his hand, heavy, ridged rings and all, while he had you bent over his lap, your panties around you calves with your ass in the air.

Seeing the imprints of his palm on your ass cheeks the next morning when you walk around the house in just a tiny thong and a crop top.

His hands gripping your wrists and holding them tightly at the small of your back as he’s thrusting his cock so fucking deep into you, making your whole body jerk just how he loves it. Aye, Filip definitely loved his hands.

C ~&~ Cum On your face. And he’s so damn cocky about loving it. ‘There ya go, lass. Such a proper lady out there. But in here, in my bed, getting sprayed in the face and loving every drop of it.’ That Mean Streak Smirk of his you loved so much is never more prominent in the bedroom than when he looks at your face and chest covered in his seed. And damn, if that isn’t a whole different level of a power trip to you. You watch his eyes catch fire again as you coat your finger and pop it into your mouth with a smirk of your own. ‘So, now what?’ ‘We’re just getting started, Pet’

D ~&~ Dirty Talk Between the rugged quality of his voice and that Daddy’s Little Helper of an accent the man could be reciting transcripts from Charming’s Council meetings to you and you’d still be a quivering, drenched mess. Thankfully, his repertoire is both more vast and much more… engaging. And here’s the thing, before some clever deity put Filip Freaky Telford smack dab in your sexually uneventful path, you’d never, ever, even consider letting a man talk to you like that. And the mere suggestion that you’d love it, pffff no way. Yet here you were. Ruining yet another pair of perfectly good underwear, all because your Old Man was flexing his Natural Born Dom Energy in the middle of a SAMCRO party.“You seem to think you’re the one running this show, sweetheart. Let me help ya, you are not.” Ok, so maybe you were teasing him a little by playing pool with Tig, oh well.

But when His Darker Side came out to play, when the two of you were ‘kinking out’ {Juice should not be allowed to coin any sex-related terms, ever}, it was like participating in a primal religion ceremony. Only you were the sacrifice:

‘I could tear you apart, if I chose to, I hope you know that.’

If you pretend to struggle out of his iron-like grip “Oh, please do struggle. Makes your pussy grip my cock harder”

When you whimper helplessly as he’s pounding into you from behind and you can’t speak because his fingers are shoved down your throat: “Oh sorry,Pet. You wanted to say something? Is Daddy in too deep in your tight little pussy?”

~&~ Dirty Secret He absolutely fuckin’ treasures the knowledge that not only you are his, but you allow him the privilege of seeing the submissive part of you. The part that the rest of the world never gets to see, has no business of seeing. Out there in the real world, you are a fierce and independent career she-wolf who will not hesitate to stomp {Figuratively, of course; you’re lady-like like that.} any fool who dares to cross you. But behind closed doors, you choose to hand the reigns to him. The too-old-for-you, dirty criminal with one hell of a mean streak and a rap sheet reflecting that. And yet, for some twist of faith warped reason, you decided that he was worthy of your trust and love. Fuck him but knowing that he’s the only man on the fucking planet who gets to flip your switch, man, that is the greatest feeling in the world.

~&~ Experience

You don’t get to be a high-ranking player in a big, bad outlaw world by being clueless. Chibs’ been an active kinkster ever since Fiona first tied him up, back when he was still a young, God-fearing laddie. He knows what’s what. Among that vast portfolio of knowledge lies a deeper understanding that working smarter beats working harder. Hence, the spreader bar and the restraints. Daddy’s little helpers on the way to make his Good Girl feel loved and appreciated. Deeply and Repeatedly.

F ~&~ Foreplay Some tough men, some outlaws, check in their bad boy demeanor at the bedroom door. Not Chibs. He dials his up a notch. Or five. But whether it will be Filip and his smart-mouthed Brat fucking each other’s brains out, or Chibs’ Sinister Side playing with his victim … all depends on whether Sin has been explicitly invited. He’s kind of like a vampire that way… {TBC}

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Could I request... a drabble of Nancy's children cutting her off and not letting her meet her grandchildren? Or even just a summary of events? 👀

Dear Ask Amandla:

I have a problem with my two grown children that has been ongoing for a while, and I am at my wits' end. Years ago, I made some less-than-perfect decisions, supporting someone who was manipulative and overbearing towards a teenager in his care. I knew that some of what I witnessed was illegal, but allowed it to happen and said nothing.

The person in question was the same age as my younger daughter. I NEVER considered him in any way like her. There were extenuating circumstances! I followed my loyalty to someone who turned out not to deserve it. But when my children found out, years later, they were furious. Not just that I had allowed the mistreatment of someone to happen in my employer's household, but that I had never told them about it. Frankly, my work and home life have always been kept separate. I was an assistant to a powerful man and had little recourse myself.

I have never been charged with a crime, and provided the authorities with anything they asked for when the investigation was underway. But when my children told me I should apologize to the now-grown young man my employer mistreated, I will admit I balked. I certainly never hurt him myself, after all, and don't feel an apology would help either him or me.

He was never significantly harmed during my employment with the powerful man, and it's not like I could pay medical bills or do anything else.

My children were upset with me for refusing to apologize for my part in all this, but I don't think that, eight years after the events occurred, my apology is asked for or even wanted.

My son answers my calls only sporadically, and my daughter - the one who is the same age as the young man who was mistreated - has stopped talking to me entirely. She was six months pregnant when I last heard her voice. It's been so long she must have had the baby by now, but my calls go unanswered and she doesn't respond to letters, emails, or anything else I've tried.

I made a mistake, but it was years ago and I was working hard to provide for my children. After the hard work and love I've shown them, I am absolutely floored that they would cut me off over someone they don't know and who they've never even met. What can I do to have my children in my lives again?

Yours,

BAFFLED IN BERRAS

-

Dear Baffled in Berras,

Baffled, I would love to answer you, but I can sense that there is a LOT you aren't telling me between the lines of what you are. In fact, you probably tried to hide more than you revealed.

It sounds like your children drew a firm line in the sand about what they need to feel comfortable with you. You can choose not to respect that, but if you do, they also are free to choose distance or even total disconnection from you.

If you ask me, the root of their unhappiness is probably your way of remembering things perhaps a bit rosier than they truly were. For instance, you continually call an adult individual's abuse of a teenage boy 'mistreatment'.

It was more than mistreatment, Baffled, wasn't it? And despite your phrasing, you were not helpless to report it. You had plenty of recourse. You chose not to help.

Your children are asking you to take full responsibility for your actions and what those actions enabled, and even just by your letter I think it's clear that you never have.

You can take responsibility and seek reconciliation, or you can choose not to. But your children are adults, and they can and will make their own choices, too.

Right now, it seems like they have chosen to step away. You need to respect that, too.

You can start by cutting out all the euphemisms and metaphors and by calling every single part of it what it is and not what you want it to have been.

You aided and abetted abuse of a minor. That's a crime. It's understandable that your daughter would be horrified to learn that you accepted and enabled that abuse while parenting she and her brother.

Good luck.

Ask Amandla

[redrobin-detective]

*crawls through you bedroom window* actually sorry I’m not done talking about the tragic, complicated clusterfuck which is Ben and Rook’s friendship/partnership. Because of how it was set up and their own personalities at the time, it was doomed to fail. I mentioned previously how neither got to know/understand the other and I retract that because it’s not entirely true. They did get to bond in a way that you almost have to when you’re in life or death situations together but they never talked about it and so each went on thinking they weren’t important to the other.

The whole nature of their partnership reeks of impermanence. Max obviously knew ahead of time that Gwen and Kevin were leaving for college and had time to prepare. Ben being on his own, reckless and stupid, was not an option. I wonder how many candidates they went through before they got to Rook. They chose someone who excelled at Plumber training, who knew the rules Ben never bothered to learn backwards and forwards. Someone who would balance out Ben and keep him reigned in. Someone who was obviously destined for higher management so why not give him the best field training possible? Rook, if not Ben, was certainly aware that it was a temporary thing. Ben was 16 going on 17, soon he wouldn’t need a partner anymore; this was the last attempt at training wheels. I imagine the partnership dissolved not long after Omniverse ends, when Rook becomes Magister and probably has new training and responsibilities. Ben, almost an adult by human standards and hopefully positively molded by Rook’s influence, is deemed ready to be on his own. 

So imagine you’re Rook, you’re a newly graduated Plumber who was ready to take on the universe. You’re informed you’re heading to Earth and you will be working one on one with your idol, the Ben 10, the one who inspired you to leave your traditional, isolated homeworld. You meet your hero and while he’s got the watch and the quips, he’s also a child in a culture you don’t understand. You’re disappointed that your hero isn’t as perfect as rumor and propaganda told you. You’re angry and frustrated and you don’t bother to hide it, Ben almost seems to retaliate by being more obnoxious. The more time you spend with Ben, you realize there’s a method to his madness. He wins more battles than he loses, what Rook at first took to be Ben’s flaws turn out to also be his strengths. Seeing Ben in action snarling and laughing in the face of certain destruction, he realizes that Ben is, at the same time, a stupid, idiot kid who barely has an idea of what he’s doing but also twice the hero Rook thought he was. Suddenly Ben 10 isn’t just a poster in his room or a radio show to listen to in the dark, he is a real person and that makes him even more worthy of admiration.

And Rook does admire him, quietly. Ben keeps up his walls and Rook lets him because who is he to try and really befriend Ben 10? Rook is just one of billions of Plumbers in the universe, Ben is the universe’s savior. I bet before Rook ever stepped foot on Earth it was drilled into him that Ben Tennyson was to be protected at all costs, that Rook’s life was nothing compared to Ben’s. Rook already comes from a very restrained and private culture, he won’t initiate anything beyond what is needed for to the mission and to save his partner. It is enough for him to be able to work alongside his hero (even if said hero is thoughtless and ridiculous and has no sense of self preservation and he drives Rook insane but by gum does he respect the hell out of Ben when he isn’t contemplating murdering him). When the time ultimately comes for Rook to depart, he will be sad but not mention it. Because he imagines he is only a blip on Ben’s radar, a temporary partner before Ben goes onto bigger and better things. He never tells Ben that his loyalty wasn’t to the Plumbers, to Ben 10 but to the scrawny, sleep deprived kid who always remembered Rook’s favorite smoothie flavor. 

Now imagine you’re Ben. You’ve saved the universe at the cost of your privacy, chance for a normal life, general sense of safety and sanity. You’re quickly losing track of what part is you and what part is the myth about you. Two of your three major support systems abandon you without notice. Over the years of AF/UAF, Gwen and Kevin saw all your brokenness, fears, vulnerabilities, watched you go from dumb kid to hero. You didn’t have to tell them these things, they saw them happen and just knew. And now they’re gone and you only have your grandpa who you love but is also sorta of your boss now. He tells you you’re being assigned a new partner, someone chosen without your consent, someone you’re expected to trust your life and secrets with. Fine, this Rook fellow will do. He can watch your back but he’s not having any pieces of your broken heart. 

You fight, both bad guys and each other. The two of you have such opposite styles that you clash. He may have training and discipline but you have experience and incredible power. You fumble and bicker and somewhere through it all find an understanding. Suddenly the rumble of his voice is familiar as Kevin’s once was, his logical approaches and teasing barbs slot in where Gwen’s used to be. It’s not bad, you tell yourself. You know this isn’t forever, that it’s not real, but it’s not bad. Because you know first and foremost that Rook is a Plumber and you are not. You also know he is a fan and you are acutely aware how short you fall from the perfect hero ideal. Ben laughs, clinging harder to the arrogant hero façade and pretends Rook’s disappointment doesn’t crush him. If someone who’s forced to work with him doesn’t like Ben, then how can he be the beloved savior everyone tells him he is even though he doesn’t quite know how he got there? He’s just a kid doing his best and soon buries himself in his perceived role.

Time passes, Ben and Rook have been through so much. Against your will, he’s seen some of your broken parts. He sees past your cracks, sees your guilt and grief and bone deep fear. But he doesn’t seem upset, even more disappointed by the failure hero. He is kind, friendly, understanding. Not enough that Ben feels comfortable to open up but he relaxes, just a bit. Rook isn’t just a forced upon partner, he’s now a friend. But he knows Rook is only here because he was ordered, he feels Rook’s annoyance with him and believes his kindness is only out of duty. It’s fine, he’s used to everyone around him bleeding him dry of everything he has and then some. Just another part of being a hero. He’s not Kevin or Gwen but he is Rook and he is grown on you because Ben is always an open soul, one who wants to receive some love he gives so freely. You finally feel steady, like you can stop pretending so much and try and find some peace and happiness in your dangerous, chaotic life.

Suddenly so fast, you’ve saved the universe once more and Rook is moving on. It’s like Gwen and Kevin leaving all over again. Rook himself seems excited to move up the ranks, to get more tassles on his uniform. He is a soldier at heart, you are not even if you play the part of one. You are a child only you’re not anymore, while you were busy saving everyone again and again your childhood was stolen from you. Now on the edge of adulthood, you’re told it’s time to take responsibility. You want to scream you’ve been doing that since you were 10 years old, that someone else can do  it for a change. You want to beg Rook to stay, to drag Gwen and Kevin home, to hide your loved ones away with you and not have to confront the big, bad universe alone. Instead, you do what you always do. You swallow all your fears, your wishes and hopes and shake his hand goodbye and wish him well. You don’t tell him you’ll miss him, neither does he. 

Rook and Ben part as the strangers they never stopped being even if both of them aches at the loss of the close proximity, of the friendship. Both are very much aware that the relationship was weak, transient, that it might have been something more if they gave it more attention. However, too many things were between them and both of them genuinely believed the other didn’t care as much. The rest of their lives they remain friendly, distant but polite. It’s not much different from when they fought side by side even if they wish it different.

[all-about-kyu]

Pairing: Haneul x Miyoung

Genre: fluff, smut, maybe a little angst

Warnings: hybrids, mentions of heats, language

Smut Warnings: Haneul belongs in horny jail, praise, fingering (f receive), size kink, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, knots

Word Count: 4.5k

It’s @raibebe ‘s fault again (also the smut isn’t that great)

Miyoung has never been a flash or showy person, she’s always been mild and blended in for the most part. Which is the exact reason why she chose the prom dress she did. This was something so left field for her. It’s her senior year and she wanted one last bang before she officially graduated. Her dress is black but covered completely in sparkles and nearly skin-tight. It’s rather exposing on the top half, she has to be careful how she moves or her chest might fall out of the top of the dress. She did have to get it altered though to have a small cut out for her tail so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable all night. She knew Haneul would melt over it. The two of them had just started hooking up with the agreement that it’s only during her heats. He told her that he doesn’t want her to suffer if he can help her, nothing more than help, nothing romantic to it at all. It’s a rather new arrangement though, she’s only turned 18 as of last month and Haneul wanted to make it clear that he wasn’t trying to be weird about it, he just wanted to help out his best friend. She’s mostly lost in her thoughts when someone knocks on her door.

“Yeah?” she calls, placing the last decorative pin in her wavy hair.

“Mi- no no no no. You’re not wearing that!” it’s dad, “That’s way too tight!”

“Dad-”

“I don’t know Mi…” he draws out his speech.

“Dad, how old am I?” she retaliated, placing her hands on her hips.

“18 but you’ve only been 18 for a month! You’re still my baby!” he fights back.

“Exactly dad I’m 18 I wanted to wear this, I’m an adult now.”

“But Haneul-”

“Will be respectful as always.”

“He’s a 19-year-old boy, I know how they think…”

“Dad, did you forget that he spent my heat with me last week? I know how he thinks too.”

He doesn’t say another word, he just shutters at the knowledge that his oldest daughter is grown now. Sitting down on the edge of her bed she slips on her black heels making sure to keep her dress in place. Making eye contact with her dad again he smiles at her. She knows that he’s not happy with her dress choice but she’s happy that he didn’t put up more of a fight than he did at first. Her dad reaches out his hand to her offering to help her stand up from her place. He quickly mentions that he’ll meet her downstairs when she’s fully ready. And for the first time, she’s ready just as Haneul arrives rather than making him wait an extra 15 minutes.

It didn’t take much longer for her to get the last of the things she needed. This year she did need a small purse to carry since she didn’t have anywhere to put her phone or lipstick if she needed to do touch-ups throughout the night. Butterflies filled her stomach as she makes her way out of her room. In all honesty, this was the first time she’ll be seeing Haneul since he left after her heat finished. He promised that nothing would be awkward between them since it was just him helping her, but the knot in her stomach tries to tell her otherwise. She recently became aware that she can smell the older boy from further away than her other friends and family. She has no idea what that means in the context of them but she tries to ignore it. Even as she slowly wanders down the hall completely attracted to his minty scent. In the distance, she can hear her dad ranting and slightly panicked over how she’s dressed, but her mom just tells him to calm down and that she knew about it this whole time.

She stops at the top of the stairs and realizes something, her dress is clung to her skin nearly down to her ankles, walking downstairs might be impossible. Standing there pouting as she thought for a moment she had two options: sit and slip down each step, but that would cause fur to get all over the back of her dress. Or, the second, which was to pout until someone helped her. Of course, the latter was a better option, and she knew it wouldn’t take long for Haneul to cave. With her, he would do anything and everything without a second spot. She knew he had a very extreme soft spot and even though she tried not to take advantage of it it was very helpful in some situations.

“Hey, Neul.” she called.

Haneul was trying to brush out the last of the loose fur from his tail when she called. His knees nearly buckled when he saw her. He knew she would look beautiful like she always has during these dances but this, this was a whole new level. He’s never seen her dressed like this but he absolutely wouldn’t mind seeing her dressed like this again. His brain is currently on fire but also dead empty at the same time. There are so many conflicting thoughts happening while simultaneously not having a single thought at all.

“Neul,” Miyoung calls again, “um… my dress is a little tight, I need help getting down the stairs.” she admits with her signature pout resting on her lips.

Haneul can only nod and start climbing up the stairs to help her. She giggles seeing how he looks at her. She knew exactly the effect she was having on him and she found it hilarious. His scent changed slightly when he comes to stand face to face with her. It gets sharper, again, she knew exactly what that meant.

“Do you, um, want me to carry you or…” the older spoke.

“Could you? I’m lucky the banquet hall this year doesn’t have any stairs.” she responds with a slight giggle.

He simply nods again and starts to pick her up, one arm across the back of her shoulders and the other holding her under her knees. He knew she was playing a game, she thinks he doesn’t know though.

“You look very handsome.” she comments leaning her head against his chest.

“And you look absolutely gorgeous just like you do every year.” he muses back.

“Neul, your scent’s a little sharp.” she pokes while he’s carrying her down carefully.

He leans his face against her ear when he responds, “Don’t blame me for my reaction to your dress choice.” he whispers.

Placing her down on the floor again his mom immediately comes over with a lint roller. Having chosen to wear a completely black suit this year made sense since Miyoung chose a black dress. The amount of fur that was all over him though, was less than ideal. This year they had chosen white flowers to contrast the copious amounts of black fabric. Pictures, of course, were taken the entire time they put the flowers on each other. Aerum of course was gagging at them the whole time they were getting their pictures and waiting for her turn to get pictures. She decided to take someone this year, their friend, Haeyong, who’s about as sassy as her Samoyed friend. The two of them chose to wear forest green this year, it complimented both of their fur colors perfectly so it was a perfect choice. They had sunflowers for their corsages which were slightly ironic considering Haeyong’s name means sunflower. Either way, both of them tease the two “not-dating” hybrids in the midst of pictures. Pictures moved rather fast after the two younger puppies stopped teasing and begrudgingly Jaemin sent his daughter off with Haneul to the dance. Just as they start walking out though Haneul stops and turns around.

“I don’t remember if I told everyone, I didn’t want to bother anyone when we get back. It’ll probably be well past midnight and I don’t want to wake anyone if it’s not needed. I rented a shore house for the weekend, partly as a late birthday present for Mi too. I promise I’ll bring her back safe on Sunday night.” he smiles, “And Mi,” he turns to her, “don’t worry about packing a bag, your sister took care of it for you, it’s already in the car.”

Miyoung’s mom quickly sits on her husband before he can protest anything and quickly tells them to go enjoy the night. As they walk out they can hear Haeyoung’s dad offhandedly comment about how he would never be able to cope if his daughter did that. Both of them ignore it though. Miyoung looks at the tall Samoyed hybrid and then back at the stairs exiting the home. Sighing he picks her up again and puts her down after the stairs.

The car ride is peaceful, it always is with Haneul. Miyoung has always felt at peace when she’s with him. The windows were cracked slightly, Haneul had wanted to open them all the way but Miyoung quickly protested knowing her hair would be a wild mess by the time they arrived at the venue. Haneul still couldn’t get over how stunning she looked, there weren’t words that could truly describe how he felt about her.

“You keep looking at me.” she comments with a giggle.

“Am I not allowed to look at you?” he laughs back keeping his eyes on the road.

“I know I look hot but damn, I don’t want to crash on the way to prom.”

“You have no idea.” he responds again, “I mean you always look gorgeous with these dances, I think I almost melted the first one I took you to. You were so cute. But now… damn, I don’t know if I should share my thoughts.”

Miyoung blushed at his comment and cleared her throat, “So, um, it’s really pretty out this evening. I’m glad it isn’t cold like the weather was saying earlier this week.”

“Mmm,” he hums in response, “you’ll still probably want to take my jacket by the end of the night.”

“Of course! Who do you think I am?”

“My baby bunny.” he muses.

“I’m just happy that my heat ended before today. I was starting to worry that we’d be locked up in my room during my senior prom.”

“I wouldn’t have minded that.” he says with a suggestive lilt.

“Neul!” she attempts to chastise.

“What?” he fakes an innocent tone.

“You know not many people can say they have been to prom every year of high school. It’s pretty cool that I get to. It’s something stupid I can brag to my kids about when they get to my age now.”

“Kids?” he asks, “Why are you thinking about kids? You just turned 18.” he teases, she just shrugs in response, “I liked our arrangement when your heat did hit though. You’re fun to spend an entire week with… even if it is mostly fucking.”

Miyoung blushes brightly and smacks his arm, “Don’t put it like that! Shut up!”

“But it was fun… especially when you-”

“Lee Haneul if you don’t shut the fuck up right now I will climb out of this car and walk the rest of the way.” she pouts angrily at him.

“Mi… you can barely function walking with that dress, you’re wearing heels, and that’s another 10-mile walk at least.” he laughs

“Did I stutter?”

“No, you didn’t baby bun.” he laughs again.

“Exactly now shut up.” she huffs.

“Really though, you look really fucking hot in that dress. I like how you have your tail out for this one.” he smirks.

“Haneul!”

“You can’t hide how you feel baby bun, don’t forget I can smell you just as much as you can smell me.”

A shiver runs down her spine when he says that, he’s been particularly bold since they left her house. In the back of her mind, she remembers that they’re staying at a small shore house for the weekend rather than returning home after the dance. She has no idea what Chaewon packed in that bag for her but she has a feeling that she packed at least one thing to annoy her. Neither of them really commented after Haneul’s last sentence, Miyoung is far too busy trying to calm herself down again.

“Do you want me to tell you about the house we’re staying at this weekend?”

“Sure.” Miyoung smiles back

As always the dance wasn’t exactly the most exciting, Aerum and Haeyoung found their way back to Haneul and Miyoung when they arrived. Haneul insisted that they took a picture all together to let their parents know they were safe. The three girls groaned saying that they could just text them but the oldest of them insisted on it.

The four of them sat at a table towards the side of the building facing the ocean. Haneul kept a hand on Miyoung’s thigh for the majority of the night. She did her best to ignore it but it was hopeless considering how she can’t seem to get over how great he looks in a completely black suit. For the most part, the four of them stay seated at their table while people-watching and snacking on the different food that had been provided for them. It wasn’t until it was nearly 10pm that Miyoung finally decides she wants to get up.

“Haneul,” she nearly yells due to the volume of the music, “let’s go dance.”

“You want to dance?” he asks clearly surprised by her request.

“It’ll be fun, come on! We never dance at these things!”

He can’t say no to her though, he’s so weak for her. She just has to smile and he’s ready to give her anything and everything she wants. He nods and lets her drag him towards where the dance floor was. His mind is already running a mile a minute still unable to compute how to react to her tonight. So when the song changes just as they get to the dance floor to something much more, raunchy to say the least, he feels like he might melt. It absolutely doesn’t help when Miyoung starts dancing either. She had been leaning against him for support, her heels far too tall to remain stable the whole night. Now to have her practically grinding against him, he feels like he could be swallowed by the floor. Thank god that the space is too filled with scents for anyone to notice his. He brings a hand to rest against her hip before leaning down so his lips were brushing against her brown furry ear.

“I think we should head out.”

“Neul?” she questions.

“I’d rather spend time with you at the house. It’s too noisy and smelly here.”

Nodding she lets the Samoyed hybrid guide her back to the table with a hand on her hip still. She’s suddenly even more hyper-aware of his scent, it’s even sharper now, almost as sharp as it was last week during her heat. Finally arriving back at their table they find Aerum and Haeyoung still sitting there and laughing together. Haeyoung suddenly scrunches up her nose though. Aerum does the same and looks at Haneul.

“We’re heading out now, do you girls need anything before we go?”

“Just get your horny ass out of here you fucking stink.” Aerum comments gagging.

Getting to the car and driving for 15 minutes to get to the small home he had rented for them felt like an eternity. They were both so aware of how prominent their scents were. Haneul didn’t say anything but placed his hand on her thigh again and keeps it the most of the drive there. They don’t exchange words, the silence speaks for them. It’s a hot and heavy atmosphere in the car that neither of them dares touch. When he finally moves his hand off her leg and puts the car in park he just sighs.

“I’ll get the bags, you just get inside, okay?”

“I can carry my bag in just fine.”

“Go inside, I’ll get it.” he voices with authority.

The bunny just nods and carefully climbs out of the car. She lifts the bottom of her dress slightly making it a little easier to walk. But by the time she reaches the door Haneul is already right behind her with their bags in his hands. Opening the door, she hardly gets a chance to process the small house before Haneul drops the bags on the couch and spins her around, kissing her with passion. She gasps against his lips but kisses him back. His hands find their way to her waist and hold it tight as they kiss. Her arms reach up and grip his shoulders trying to keep herself grounded in some way.

“You have no idea how insane you make me feel baby.” he mumbles against her lips.

“Neul, you wanna show me the bedroom?” she asks with an undercurrent of lust.

“I’m sure that you’re starting to feel a little suffocated in that dress,” he muses, “let’s go baby bun.”

By the time they reach the bedroom Haneul has already lost his jacket and tie, Miyoung working vigorously to get his shirt unbuttoned. Haneul’s fingers work nimbly to get her dress most of the way unzipped before they got there, she had already taken off her jewelry in the car claiming it was bothering her. The moment they cross the threshold of the bedroom Haneul pulls her zipper the rest of the way down allowing her dress to fall to the floor. The next moment her back hits the mattress and Haneul’s kisses trail down her neck and across her collarbones.

“You’re so beautiful, how am I supposed to keep my hands to myself?” he practically growls, “You, you didn’t wear anything under that dress?”

Miyoung gasps when he nips lightly at her neck right by her scent gland, “If I did you would’ve been able to tell.” she explains.

His fingers find their way to her folds and gently rub through them. Her whines sounded like heaven to him, the way she practically is falling apart already sends him reeling through different ideas. He pushes one finger into her and feels how she clenches around it, her fingers lace into his hair just below his fluffy ears making him go a little crazy.

“I don’t need prep Neul, I’ll be fine just fuck me please.”

“Baby bun, you’re so much smaller than me. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.” he soothes, “You’ll get what you want soon.”

He looks down at her face to see how her eyebrows furrow and her doe eyes fill with lust as he adds another finger. Her hair laid out against the mattress and her ears only add to the erotic sight in front of him. There wasn’t a more beautiful sight in his opinion.

“Neul, I-” she gasps.

“Go ahead bunny, you can cum.”

She shakes under him as her orgasm washes over her, Haneul keeps one hand rested on her hip letting her know she’s still safe in his arms while his other hand continues to help her ride out her orgasm. The moment she comes down from her high she immediately reaches her hand forward to grab at the front of his pants.

“Can you please actually fuck me now? I want more.” she pouts.

“And I’m the one who’s insatiable.” he teases, “Lay back pretty bunny, head on the pillows, let me take care of you.” For a few moments he struggles with the rest of his clothing then he curses under his breath. Crawling onto the bed halfway above her, “Mi, I don’t have any condoms. Do you still want this?” she nods at him, “No, I need you to say it. I don’t want to do anything you’re not 100% comfortable with.”

“I’m sure, please, I still want this.”

Without another word he carefully pushes his member into her. A high whine escapes her lips when he finally bottoms out inside her. Her small legs wrap around his hips holding him there for a few moments. He muses quietly in her ear about how beautiful she is and how great she feels around him. When she gives him the signal he gently starts rocking his hips into her. He buries his face against her scent gland completely surrounding himself with her peachy smell which only makes him feel even more aroused.

“Miyoung,” he moans, “can I scent you? Please let me scent you.”

“I love when I smell like you, please, do it.” she whines back.

His hand holds one of her breasts and toys with her nipple while he nuzzles against her neck. He makes sure to completely cover her in his scent as he thrusts into her. She continues to clench around him and warns him that another orgasm was approaching. What he doesn’t expect is that he can feel a knot building up and bumping against her entrance.

“Baby, I- knot-” he can’t seem to make a cohesive sentence, “Can I?”

“Yeah, you can knot me.” she sighs completely lost in pleasure.

“This is gonna be a tight fit baby bun,” he groans again, “fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum. Are you close love? I don’t want to cum if you aren’t close yet.”

Everything he says drips with so much emotion and care for her. He wants nothing more than to take care of her and give her the world. Even at this moment completely lost in pleasure himself, he wants to take care of her.

“I’m close Neul, please, if you knot me I know I’ll cum.”

“Oh?” he questions slightly broken with a pointed thrust, effectively pushing his knot fully in her.

He leans forward cumming inside Miyoung, which as she had claimed, triggered her second orgasm. He reaches between them and plays with her clit helping carry her through the waves of pleasure. Her limbs wrap around him holding him close to her even though that was physically impossible at this point. As she starts to come back down to earth Haneul rolls them over so she’s lying on top of him rather than having to hold himself up above her. He runs his fingers up and down her spine in a calming manner.

“Baby bun, are you sleeping?”

“Not yet,” her voice clearly lacing with sleep though, “how long does your knot normally last?”

“Normally, 15 minutes, but with you, at least during your heat, it lasted a whole lot longer than that. Let’s say like 20 minutes?” he speaks calmly.

“Enough time for a nap?” she mumbles

“You can nap baby bun. Do you want me to brush your hair out a little first?” he offers.

“Could you? I can feel some pieces wrapping around my ears and I don’t like it.” she whines

“You sleep bun, I got you.”

She falls asleep rather quickly laying on him. Once he started brushing out her hair she was out like a light. She only started to rustle a little when she remembered the amount of makeup she had on. Haneul almost passed out when she pulled off her fake lashes thinking they were real. Soon after though, she fell back to sleep completely unbothered by the man beneath her. It’s a long while before she gets woken up next. The first thing she notices is that she’s still laying on Haneul, the second thing is that she’s now no longer stuck on his knot.

“Mi, it’s nearly 2am, I know you’re sleepy but I want to get you cleaned up.” Haneul whispers to her.

“I’ll get cleaned in the morning.” she whines just wanting to sleep again.

“No, you need to get cleaned up now baby bun. You still have most of your makeup on anyway.” he smiles sweetly when she snuggles closer.

“Later.”

“Now.” he simply states picking her up and carrying her to the bathroom, “Come on pretty, just a quick shower. I’ll wash your hair and ears for you.”

“Really?” she asks with sparkling eyes.

“Anything for you. Now come on, make sure the water is warm enough for you.”

Over the past month, and all their lives really, they’ve always been close. Many people have thought they were dating, even their siblings. But they’ve never had something this intimate and sweet. Cuddling is one thing, but standing in the shower together in dead silence, other than the water, hugging is a different kind of intimacy that neither of them could describe. Miyoung was still not fully awake and asked for him to hold her for a moment before they actually showered. He didn’t mind one bit either, holding her close to him was more than he could ask for. By the time they finished showing the water ran cold and Haneul immediately offered to block the cold water for the bunny. The moment she stepped out, Miyoung quickly wrapped herself in a towel and made a b-line for the bedroom to get clothes to keep her warm overnight.

“Where are my sweatpants? Did she not pack me any sweatpants? Fucking hell!” she groans.

“You’ll be fine, just put on the- that’s my shirt… I’ve been looking for that for weeks now.” he laughs, “Just put the shirt on, you know I have enough body heat for the both of us.”

Nodding, she climbed back into bed and cuddled with him under the blankets. Haneul holds her close m and presses soft kisses into her hair. She feels nothing short of love and safety with him, even if there’s no romantic intentions she still loves how this feels.

“Hey Mi,” Haneul calls while yawning, “I feel like we shouldn’t do that unless it’s during your heat. I don’t want you getting the wrong idea and the last thing I want is to hurt you. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.”

Her heart hurts hearing that, “Yeah, totally, I didn’t think anything more of it than something spur of the moment… just like your junior prom with that kiss.”

Despite what they say, the next morning he wakes her up with kisses all over her face. They hardly do anything all day and it feels right. Being domestic and getting a test run of living together really felt perfect. Miyoung can’t let it get to her head though, he doesn’t love her like that.

“Bun?” she’s pulled from her thoughts, Haneul pulling her close to him, “I love you.”

“I- I love you too Haneul.” she smiles, and she means her words more than she lets on.

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[burnmyloveaway]

So another DGS 2 rant...

I appreciated how Gina and Maria - two teenagers - dealt with the truth about their idols coming out.

Gina couldn't accept it at first but she trusted Ryu and once it has been demonstrated, she still mourned for Gregson, respected him, and decided to keep his memory alive by keeping up where he left off and following in his footsteps as a fellow detective (in training).

Maria held so much esteem for and was so proud of her Mama. She was amazed at the fact that Dr. Sithe was present and took part in such historical events. She grew up in the same environment being taught by her and got enamored with a job for which she is truly passionate.

Both girls understood that when their idols have been stopped or when the truth about them came up, it was because other people were doing their jobs, there was nothing to be taken personally, even if it hurt (whereas Gina couldn’t accept it at first, Maria says she didn’t want to know what her mother really did).

Both girls have been able to discern the right from the wrong and to see that Gregson and Dr. Sithe made horrible mistakes, but they didn’t hold it against them, they still loved them despite everything.

The best thing though is how neither Gina nor Maria kept Gregson and Dr. Sithe on a pedestal.

It's interesting (and sad) to see how Kazuma and Barok - two grown adults - still very much hold Genshin and Klint on that pedestal, instead.

The circumstances that led them where they ended up were surely tragic, but so is the fact that they chose that path.

Both of them had families to take care of, they were both family men, husbands, and fathers but instead of cherishing all the good things they had, they both let themselves get engulfed by the same darkness.

The game wants (?) the players to feel sorry for them, Barok and Kazuma have no apologies and forgiveness to offer to each other but if Klint was a murderer, so was Genshin, so why doesn't Kazuma see it?

Sure, the way Genshin got betrayed and killed was horrific, unnecessary, undeserved, and absolutely enraging but that doesn't nullify his guilty in taking someone else's life. To put a stop to The Professor's killing spree wasn't his duty.

And what about Barok?

In his will, Klint declared himself the Lord of the manor of the van Zieks estate, which would hint at their parents being dead (in the DLC Barok mentions having inherited a silver chalice from his father, but in case 2-3 he says a murdered took Klint away from us... ?).

If it's indeed the case, that would mean that Klint wasn't only his older brother but the very person who raised him which would make sense, considering that Barok said Klint was his "guiding light" and that he didn't know what to do or where to go after his death.

Again, the game presumably wants the player to feel sorry for Klint as well, but while four on five murders were carried out due to Vortex/Stronghart’s coercion/extortion giving him no other choice, the first of these murders was voluntary. Just because he’d been extorted that doesn’t completely exonerate him either. He was a murderer through and through.

The worst thing is that he probably left a 23 y.o young man completely alone in the world. While he certainly wasn’t a child, a 23 y.o is still too young to prosecute the worst criminals around. Barok had already been targeted before the whole Reaper conspiracy, too, what made Klint think he could keep up with that entirely on his own?

The line “It is my fervent wish that my unspeakable deeds should not hinder your advancement” pissed me off, to be honest. Like, what? So you justifiably get your baby hidden so that she doesn’t have to live as the daughter of a murderer but you hope your brother can keep up in that direction? Does he really have to? I don’t know, to me, it was a pretty egoistic thing to say, as if the truth couldn’t have hurt and compromised Barok, too.

Klint certainly couldn’t predict that Vortex/Stronghart would have used his brother like he did but damn, it wasn’t so difficult to imagine that if he set his sight on him he couldn’t somehow do the same with Barok as well, c’mon.

Klint had to make a very difficult choice in his last moments and while he managed to get his child saved, he left his younger brother completely alone at the mercy of Vortex/Stronghart and of bloodthirsty criminals who just couldn’t wait to manipulate and kill him. It was because of Klint that Barok remained in danger, totally isolated and unable to trust anyone for ten years, something like this would fuck anyone up. And while Klint would have never wanted anything like that nor did he do anything like it on purpose, his action had very serious and dire consequences on his brother’s life.

And Barok still holds the same older brother who ruined his life on that pedestal!

When after his trial he quotes Vortex/Stronghart’s on how to fight the darkness you have to become darkness yourself he says that those are the words of a coward, but why can’t he see that his brother pretty much thought the same thing? So Vortex/Stronghart is a coward but Klint isn’t?

Barok’s biggest problem is exactly this and so is Kazuma’s. They’re now stuck together while Barok feels mortified for events that he had no control over whatsoever and Kazuma is full of grief and has no forgiveness to offer, except it is against the wrong person.

Just because they’re respectively Klint’s brother and Genshin’s son it doesn’t mean that they have to bear the burden of mistakes that weren’t theirs but sadly, none of them seemed to realize this at the end of the story.

[leam1983]

On Alternative Lifestyles and Found Families

So, I spent part of this night getting probed by Walt's GP as to my sexual history. Officially, this wasn't quite it, of course - it's his GP wanting to make absolutely sure that Sarah and I are being safe - but all three of us feel scrutinized, honestly. It's borderline patronizing, if not the exact kind of homophobia I have the hardest time digesting.

See, I can handle bigots. You either provoke a non-response out of them or you let them be. Then there's people who aren't technically bigots, but who can't yet reason outside of the stigma they've grown up learning about. In Walt's GP's case, that stigma would be the perceived notion that gay and poly couples and throuples are, well, promiscuous.

So, I opened up. Walt clasped my hand, and I opened my bag about my hooking back up with a former lecturer and professor of mine from years ago, after graduation, and spending a little over a year in absolute fucking bliss. Prof was freshly out, I was out by a few years but didn't quite want to admit it to myself, and we were so gaga for one another that, well, other partners just wasn't something that came to mind. We knew one another's schedules and knew that with my age at the time and his own - and with Prof's later cancer diagnosis - shopping around just wasn't in our cards.

Walt, Sarah and I had already done this dance with Sarah's GP, who was notably more chill about us three. Her verdict amounted to Be honest, make this work and you won't have any reasons to worry. Just - don't stop wearing protection.

So far, so good. My GP, being on the private sector, wanted to log everything. She didn't suspect one of us to pull a string of flings and to carry a bug or two around, but she wanted us to avoid the very possibility. Again, this was out of the notion that either Walt or myself would act like what you saw in porn vids from the seventies and eighties, and mostly collect raunchy encounters with the ravenous energy of rabbits on PCP. I was quick to figure this out as being another shot at billing me for something.

Walt's? Well, I'm guessing graybeards get graybeard GPs. A little leaner than Walt, with thicker glasses and a shirt that was probably in style back when Walt had hair on top, and a palpable sense of, well, let's call it kindly disapproval.

Walt opens his own bag, and so does Sarah. We reassure the GP that we have been undergoing regular tests and will continue to do so out of respect for one another and for the sake of honesty. The old coot takes the other two docs' details and acts like we're the first sane polyamorous group he's met.

"I've seen things, you know," he notes. "Back in the Disco years, when saunas were popular in Montreal..."

I add a fake laugh. "I'm sure you did, sir. The thing is, this is 2022, and I love this man and this woman far too much to consider weighing them down with an STD. We love one another, and we've already been taking steps to ensure nothing goes awry."

He acts like I told him I'm from Mars. "I'm sorry for saying this, but gays weren't quite so responsible, in my time."

Walter saves face, picks up his overcoat and waves us out, knowing I would love nothing more than to coldcock his physician.

In the car, Sarah is outraged. "We're adults! We chose each other, I don't see the straights getting blackbagged by the Bedroom Gestapo! These cheating fucks pass on shit to their wives and girlfriends all the time!"

It's Walter's time to be reassuring, like I was after my eye exam. "The only thing that matters is our being accountable for each other. This little circus wasn't set up to appease a bunch of white coats, it was set up so we'd all get records to consult if anything happens. The tests give us a window of time, and if anything happens, we'll have an easier time figuring out Patient Zero among us three. It'll make it easier for all three of us to be honest, and it'll hopefully eliminate any and all fears we might have over what goes on in mine and Grem's bedroom, no matter if it's the three of us or just Sport and myself."

He briefly looks at Sarah as he drives. "Everyone else can take a hike, Sar. This is our mutual health insurance policy. Take it from me, the straights wish they had the balls to set something like this up. It might dissolve a bunch of marriages, but it could also save a few."

Silence settles in for a few streetlights, until she finally looks back at Walt. "I'm okay," she says, nodding. "It was hard, is all."

The big guy nods, slowly. "It's hard, but it'll buy us peace of mind. Like I said, everyone else can take a long hike off a short cliff."

I nod pensively. "I like this. Being here for you two, I mean. It makes this whole thing feel mature. Thought-out. Like it's not just my hormones losing it over Walt's necktie knot or Sarah melting when he hugs her."

He glances back at me and looks back at Sarah. For a second you could think we're a family of sorts, an older gentleman discussing with his two adult children. In a way, we are family, now. Have been for several months.

"I still have the keys to the old place for a few days," Walter notes, and I'll remind you that I left a mattress and old bedsheets there. The old place is a house, not an apartment, and we won't be heard from the basement. No shared walls."

His eyes twinkle. "We can't rightly celebrate next to Grem's parents, they'd throw us out and end his lease if we got too noisy. The duplex is out, and you've long been out of alternatives, Sarah."

We slowly share a grin, all three of us. Walter keeps his tone intentionally breezy. "Two pit-stops, one at IGA and the SAQ for some food and some booze, and another one at the SDQC for something that'll get us nice and cozy. We head for my old place, set up in the basement - and see where that takes us..."

I can't repress a chuckle. "Wile E. Coyote's got nothing on you, you genius."

A long, love-filled moment passes. Sarah breaks it simply enough, and in a way that rips laughter out of all three of us. She looks at us like she's cornered some sort of enigma, her reddish-auburn hair playing under the passing streetlights. Her glasses make her look impish, and she owns it.

"Fuck, I love you guys!" she swears. I clasp her shoulder from the back, Walter reaches back while driving, to use his free hand to touch both of ours.

"Tonight," he says, "we're consecrating our family. It might not last forever, sure, but for now, we've got each other."

The weight of the moment won't hit me until hours later - now, at least, when I've retreated from two splayed bodies I deeply love, for the sake of a few moments of clarity, to go plink this out on a laptop. All three of us are naked, and I'm covered in so many scents and sweat-related accents I didn't remember existing. The soles of my feet sting with little concrete pebbles and forgotten sawdust.It's been a long while since I made love to a woman, and Sarah was as patient as she could've been. Walter and I more or less sandwiched her, which left me to take a more proactive role while he stroked her neck or kissed her cheek from the back.

Sarah and Walt just finished on their own, and I can hear him thanking her. Having known himself to be gay for decades, now, Walt's prior experience with women is sparse, and lifetimes removed. From the sound of things, he's not half-bad.

It's come to my attention that we're all damaged goods. Me with my disability, my struggles, the death of my first genuine lover, and my knowing that I'll probably never be fully autonomous, for reasons outside of my control. All of my loved ones and lovers have always assisted me to some degree or another, and both Walter and Sarah accepted it with disarming ease.

Sarah's started to open up, and I've learned that her interests stem out of an unhappy childhood. Where else do you escape from a broken household than in your deadbeat father's old D&D 2.5 Ed. books? She's always felt inadequate, always felt less than. Like I always have.

As for Walter, it'd be safe to say he ate his abuse, his trauma. His many rejections, unfulfilling careers, abortive relationships... You don't come close to two hundred and eighty pounds of self-gratification if the weight doesn't feel like some sort of comfort, in a way. He couldn't get jacked, couldn't fight back - so he got fat. Got hard to move, learned to conjoin that with outwardly airs of extroversion when any instance that saw him act as such triggered a week or two's worth of binge eating and comfort-seeking.

All of this, and Sarah and I are the first persons to tell him that, sometimes, some people do look good in situations like his. He could've been a slob, or the type to hide it, to stoop or to dress in baggy clothes - but he never did. He cinched it, instead. Framed it, recalled old standards like Fat Men's clubs - and worked his ass off to make it work. The Sales guys pick off-the-rack stuff; Walter gets his measurements taken by a guy he knows and has already-expensive fare tailored and adjusted. He turned his need for comfort into culinary classes, and told himself that if he was going to equate anything depressing or bold or funny with food, then he'd eat well.

Damaged goods, all of us.

Sarah eventually stirrs awake. "Come back to bed; there's half a joint left, and Walt left you a slice of chocolate cake."

I can't quite repress a laugh. There's probably weirder reasons to crawl back into bed with your second family, but I can't think of anything in the moment.

[the-goddess-of-mischief-writing]

New York High Rise {1}

Chapter summary; During all your years as the most successful mob boss of New York, no-one have ever dared to seriously battle for the crown with you. Up until now. Steven Grant Rogers, son of the infamous mob boss Joseph Rogers, has suddenly chosen you as his rival. Who will be winning in the end?

Pairing: Steve x reader  

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: Chapter 1/5

Word; 5.9k

Warnings; swearing is standard in my works, mentions of canon-type violence 

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing

A/N: I actually started this series on a whim and all of a sudden ended up having four chapters. I really love it for some reason, maybe because it such a powerplay and I’m a hoe for that trope, especially when it’s a enemies to lovers story. Anyhow, enough of my rambling, I hope you guys enjoy this little mid week update! PSA: If you want to be tagged in the series, jus send me an ask!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Golden chains and champagne. Fancy watches and whiskey on the rocks. Whatever related to the word expensive you were associated with. Although, unlike many others in your business, you hadn't grown up in this world of luxury, nor had you inherited the empire you now were the boss of, enabling you to live the extravagance life you did. No, you were one of the few who'd worked their ass off to earn every last thing you owned.

By most, your efforts looked like a great business mind and some luck. How else could you've become a multi-millionaire on investing in stocks? But to others, those knowing the flipside of the coin, they knew your success in capitals was nothing but a cover for your stealthy work in the shadows. It was a dance, one with feline grace, that you'd performed to reach your position. A status meaning you were one of the most famous mob bosses in New York City.

When hearing mafia, most would think of the old Italian image of people smoking cigars in fedoras, with some moustache that looked similar to pencil lines on their upper lip. Those who owned cities and the whole country knew of it but could do nothing about it.

Perhaps some of these stereotypes suited the older godfathers of New York, who sat proudly on their pedestals and watched the world pass by. But you were different from them. You didn't just watch the world continue and progress by itself. You moved along with it.

You were the new generation.

Compared to the godfathers, who every last person in New York and the bordering states knew off, you had two faces. One you showed the public and one you ruled the underworld with. To society, you were spotless, a name associated with nothing but a sharp mind and benevolence to the public. But you were at the top in the underworld syndicate, the biggest of the biggest. Yet, you didn't rule with fear, simply that of uttermost respect and earned trust. In other words, your reputation or connections weren't bought. They were deserved.

Thus, compared to the older generations, your face could be recognised by a civilian or someone from the underworld, none thinking about calling the police or betraying your trust. You owned the city without it even knowing it.

It was from the way you'd reached this top in stunning silence, together with the grace you played everyone with, that you and your empire earned the alias felines. Like a tiger cub who grew into an adult, your empire was once the smallest but now the biggest. Like a lion, you evoke respect and awe no matter where you went. Like a cat no one cared about, you could cross the streets without an issue in public.

Some of the elders, at least those who were your allies, had expressed their concern of your brassiness. 'Why play cat and mouse with fate?' they often said. But you always answered the same 'I am the cat'. And it was true. Despite some of those opposed to your methods, or just you in general, took the chances they could at picking you off the map. No one ever succeeded. Solely for one reason.

Now, you deemed agreeing to one of your first ever business deals the best choice you ever made. Although it meant you financed some of the worlds leading underground tech corporation with quite some substantial coin, the panthers were nowadays always watching over you. They lingered in the shadows, disarming every try at putting a bullet through your skull.

Albeit not as famous as yourself or the organisation you ran, the Black Panther Operation the sibling pair T'Challa and Shuri operated was, in no shape or form, not impressive. They'd established themselves as the leading organisation, even if not known by half of the people in New York, in the tech area. Not only were they invaluable to the numerous politicians wanting them to work under the radar to get the upper hand on sovereign states, but they also were to you.

They hadn't only supplied you with their physical protection of their elite bodyguards, the Dora Milaje or in common-tongue known as the shadow panthers, but their tech as well. Although, compared to anyone who would've been in your position and chosen the weapons or impenetrable bodysuit that Shuri, ever the genius she was, had invented, you'd chosen one of the other assets. The cloud, the internet.

Hackers were the way forwards compared to warriors. They were the weapon of keeping you one step ahead of anyone by supplying you with the information needed to be able to hold someone's life in your hands.

It was only to look back at the countless occasions anyone tried to persuade you into a business deal you would do nothing but lose at. Thanks to Shuri having dug out the facts that could bring any of your rivals down in the dumps, you'd walked victorious away anyways.

You were certain any of the other godfathers would've killed someone for even thinking, no less trying, to propose a disreputable arrangement with them in the first place. Yet, you knew how much one ever could make a death look like a self-caused accident, that in the end, people would start to wonder why it happened to people of the same background, connected to one and the same empire. However, the former generations didn't really care about bad publicity anyway, so why would they care about lining the street with dead bodies? But the difference was you weren't them.

By all means, some would say your ways was far more torturous than a bullet between the eyes. You wouldn't agree or disagree, only say it was just. Involving a legal and judicial battle was the new way of handling conflicts, after all. It was more efficient than having to wash the blood of your name all the time, according to you. Not only that, you gained a lot more than just a dead body.

You were in somewhat of partnership with most bosses around the city. Those you weren't, rather those you'd only settled a deal with that said "as long as you kept to each of your own territory nothing would happen", did try to bend the rules and use the terror tacit. Either they targeted you personally or something equally as important in your part of the city. It could be anything that would get to you, really. But, no matter what they did, they tried to not do it themselves. Instead, hire a hitman or someone equally as bad. The problem with this was that these people's records were far from innocent, something you used to your advantage.

If you tasked Shuri to find anything and everything these people had done, it was easy to find a person they'd wronged and who sought revenge or justification. The only thing you did was play your hand well, usually meaning you pulled some strings and supply the money. While T'Challa, as the expert he was on it, handed out the information his sister had gathered to reliable sources. Your collaboration made the person you hunted sit opposite someone from their past in a courtroom. Most of the times, they also lost the case.

Choosing to do this rather than go rampage and fire your gun aimlessly meant you settled as a second, or sometimes even third or four-hand source to what went down. So not only did your name remain clear despite answering a rivals offence, your involvement was nearly impossible to track as well. Thus, you could take down five of a rivals' men while they only took one of yours.

Despite one could call you out on hypocrisy, saying that the shadow panthers protecting you didn't own the same benevolence and were quick and silent in their killing, there was one reason you didn't care about the fact. Currently, they may be under a shared command, but their never-ending allegiance was always towards the founders of the Black Panther Operation. If either Shuri or T'Challa said stand back or decided to cut their deal with you, the shadow panther's protection would disappear. The same went if you chose to rip the contract.

However, it was a slim chance that either of the siblings or you would terminate your arrangement. Seeing how now, years later, you still were the sole person working a continuous agreement with them. That was why nowadays, your and theirs organisations were nearly associated as the same by most in the underworld.

Your style of ruling New York and living such different lives in the light and dark made others in your profession joke you were the sole one with an ordinary life. That you were no traditional mafia, simply a highly functioning business-orientated company that invested in stocks. However, both you and everyone around you knew that wasn't true. The reason? You weren't afraid to use every last of your assets to remain in control of your empire. Whatever it took.

And that was a promise someone the last months had put up to the test.

You don't know what set it off, perhaps the old saying of cats and dogs never working well together. Or that because you were at the top drew enough confidence out of someone to try and knock you down. For whatever reason, someone decided to start a ruckus with you.

It had begun small enough you had no idea that someone was behind it. Connections or deals with companies connected to your empire backing out of contracts in the last seconds, saying they got a better offer. The word secrecy, frequently used for ones own safety in the world you lived in, was a term you'd heard enough times by now to grow tired of. It was no significant agreements, seeing how you were well enough to not care about money, but it was plenty bothersome for your pride.

The next step in the escalation had been dealings slightly more important than a question of money, which was your territory and thereby also safety. You still had some meetings with a few godfathers, had fore some time actually. It was mostly those who once had opposed you in the days you weren't a threat or those who just tried to live secludedly enough that they died by natural causes rather than in a cell or from rivalry.

Each of those conferences had been about securing your grip on Manhattan. Primarily to obtain some neighbourhoods closest to Harlem Park and the northern part of the Inwood neighbourhood. Both of which currently was in some sort of grey zone. Meaning neither owned by them nor you. Although those areas were still not written as yours, concerning how those old bosses abruptly didn't seem to want to seal any deals that they weeks ago had agreed on.

Then you'd entered the third stage. The one that made you understand all these cancellations wasn't merely coincidence, but somebody working against you. People from both your closest crew and the Black Panther section had been disappearing. It wasn't uncommon. Your business was nothing but personal feelings and wants most of the times. However, concerning how few men and women you'd lost under your watch, this sudden increase was off-putting.

Closer to the truth was something like this had never happened to this extent before. You hadn't had people close to you or anyone associated with you abducted. However, the worst thing was that the bodies of those disappearing were never not found bloody or in a morgue.

Money or failing to persuade old godfathers wasn't something you took personal, but when people started dropping like flies around you, that you took personally. Hence, you, Shuri and T'Challa worked endlessly on finding who was behind it.

Almost every time, you found the culprit of the act, but not the big boss behind it all. Disabling you from taking more than one person out of play. That your jaw hadn't broken for how much you'd clenched it in frustration, or your teeth shattered from the amount you gritted them was a mystery. You hunted the person ordering these things, yet with no success.

Although one day, when one of the subordinates in your very own team had been missing for a week returned, barely clinging to their consciousness, you'd gotten to know who this new rival of yours was.

Steven Grant Rogers.

The canines, an alias for the Rogers family, were equally known as any of the old US President in the underworld in New York. If one hadn't heard of them in your profession, it was more likely that you already were dead or not in it all because they were notorious.

They'd ruled Brooklyn with an iron fist and was probably the crown specimen of the reputation that accompanied the word mafia. There was a grace in their affairs and killing. But compared to your work, which was performed in shadows and silence, they flaunted it, not scared of running from the police because they already knew they never would be caught.

From what you knew, they'd fallen off somewhat after Joseph Rogers, the head of the Canine Empire, died in one of the rivalries between mobs. His death had been years before you were even born, close to an age it was as high of a chance he could've passed from natural causes. Still, the commotion and continuous dispute following his disappearance and the unclear leadership had served as a fall for the Canine Empire. There was no doubt your rise to the same amount of power as the former union possessed would've been as easy if you'd had them as your opponents.

However, now, it seemed like the past would haunt you down in the form of Joseph Rogers son.

Albeit you never met the new boss of the Canines, there was no doubt you considered, for the first time, to personally put a bullet through someone's head. Steven Grant Rogers was as ruthless as stories told his father had been. He'd even been labelled the golden boy of Brooklyn, rumoured to restore the brutal power of the Canine Empire. Yet, the spot he was reaching for with old alliances regrouping to boost him to the top was a position you currently occupied.

This is where the difference between if you'd had a regular business organisation and the domain you now did, settled in. You went on total offense.

You contacted T'Challa and Shuri, calling them in for a meeting. Even though the pair knew of what had happened so far, they were your partners and thus, you would discuss the actions you would take with them, even if your deal said nothing of that sort. But you knew, compared to your rival, it seemed, how important it was to hold onto your closest allies with other methods than fear and the threat of death. And thus, you also received the help of a friend rather than a business partner.

It must've been the bloodiest month in the last decade from the rivalry that blossomed up between the Felines and Canines the second you started to answer the new top dog's advances. You got reports that the shadow panthers watching your back had cleared more people putting you up as a target than in a long time. As well, did more of the people under your name end up red in back allies.

Then it shifted. As soon as you started getting trails of more people than just the executioners, you were suddenly able to take out divisions of his minions. And while the killing went on, you started winning the big battles. In other words, while Steven continued to play it hard, you started to play smart.

You cut off deals he could do in Brooklyn, much harsher and unforgiving than his initials ones on your side of the East River. It was everything from supplies, to money, to the extra set of eyes. Everything to limit him to sources you knew he wouldn't be happy with having to resort to. While handling this, with the help from Shuri, you also broadened your search to find every little dirty-worker under the mob boss's command. Thanks to those now operating for you on the Brooklyn side, you helped people who'd had a past with Steven's men tip police of and capture them.

Pawn by pawn, you lessened the number of ways the Canine boss could run in taking down your empire. You had him cornered, already several moves ahead of him whatever he chose to do. Only, it was one step you thought he never would do that, in the end, made everything come to a skidding halt.

He'd requested a parley.

"Y'know I don't really like the idea of you meeting him", you didn't look up from the papers you currently were reading to look at Shuri where she lounged on your office's couch.

Though it felt like you should examine the folder that rested in your handbag     -the one containing the event plans for the charity event you would host for the many high society individuals and governors, or anyone with money really, in two weeks- those documents weren't the ones you were looking through now.

It was five days ago since Steven had asked for the parlay. Ever since then, you'd worked on the deal you would offer him. You had no desire to sign whatever he would hand to you. And you knew he would propose something. The Canine boss was the challenger, after all. Even more so, the one requesting a meeting from the start. Thus, he, for one, would offer something to cease your continuous confrontations and two, he would try to drag you down while elevating himself. That you couldn't have.

"I know", you finally responded when having read the side you were on in the contract you had put together for your rival. "Still, I want to hear what the man has to say so I can stop losing resources, time and people", you turned to the next page as you said this.

There came no response immediately despite that you felt Shuri was looking at you. You'd gotten good at noticing this, someone observing you. Hence, even though the best of the panthers always were safeguarding you somewhere in the crowds, it never hurt to not solely depend on others for your own safety. Because that was what your constantly high attentiveness was for anyways. To always be keen on your surroundings and try to detect someone's move before they did it.

"It's almost interesting to see someone challenge you for the position of being the big boss, Lekati", it wasn't only at the reserved nickname Shuri used that caught your attention. The rest of what she'd said also made you pause mid-turn of the last page, eyes automatically shifting to her.

Now, instead of sprawling across the piece of furniture the women occupied, she sat upright with a smile ghosting her lips. Your eyes narrowed as you noted this.

"Oh, stop imagining using your sharp claws on me".

"I wasn't".

"You're a bad liar when you want to be", the tech mogul pointed out with a finger directed towards you. Your features stayed indifferent despite the fact that her remark had been correct.

"When will your brother be back?" The dark-haired women cocked a brow at your sudden change of topic.

"Any minute, I suppose, why?"

"He's more pleasant to have around while I try to work, less chatty", an incredulous snort left Shuri as she crossed her arms, leaning back against the couch's backside. Her reaction made your stoic facade drop somewhat, causing the side of your mouth to tug upwards. It was an act she caught and couldn't help but shake her head at.

"I never get tired of not knowing whether you're about to send half of the city after me or simply are in a playing mood", your repressed smile bloomed into a fully-fledged one, amused by Shuri's comment.

"Opt for the latter for as long as those couple of hundred thousand dollars are rolling into your account". Averting your eyes from the women you were speaking to, you once again inspected the bunch of papers before you. 

Having worked on them for days and ever since this morning re-reading the contract, you knew it was worded to perfection. There were no loopholes nor any unnecessary losses for either part. So, for as long as Steven didn't belong to the old saying of 'it’s hard to learn an old dog to sit', you knew his signature would decorate the last page. 

"However, you should worry about the day when the money is missing", you hummed while stacking the papers orderly, putting them back into the same folder they'd been stored since you'd gotten the paper copies of the transcript.

"Would that be my sign to start running?" You looked up again, instantly meeting Shuri's humoured look.

"It would probably be too late", you shrugged nonchalantly, placing the folder you would have to the meeting in your handbag in a swift motion while swivelling your chair to face her, rather than your desk as you'd done previously. As a chuckle was heard from the dark-haired woman, you crossed one leg over the other and leaned back in your seat.

"It's good that I'm your ally and not your foe".

"Good to hear you view yourself as a friend. Was fearing you would switch sides to my challenger's", you mused, arms coming to prop up against your armrest to support your head when you tilted it.

"I never would, even if I knew he had a chance to win", even though feeling somewhat relieved - because this world and one's alliances could change fast, no matter current contracts or friendships- when Shuri said this, you wouldn't show it. Therefore, instead of smiling at her belief that Steven had no chance of beating you at a game you had been the best player at for years, you simply kept observing the woman as she stood from the couch.

The young tech mogul started to make her way closer to you, a slight sheerness in her step that impersonated the glint in her eye. And you understood why for when she opened her mouth to speak.

"But you can't deny it's interesting someone is seriously trying to take you down", you rolled your eyes while you let your hand fall to tap against your thigh.

"Seems like you're more excited about it than me", you started, spinning your chair slowly to follow Shuri as she settled partly on the empty edge of your desk. She looked expectantly at you, waiting for an answer despite your deflection of it initially. For once, purely because of the topic, you complied. "But no, I definitely do not find it interesting", you sighed out.

"Oh, come on, Lekati...".

"Stop with the nickname", you cut her off with a roll of your eyes. However, instead of earning the quick nod of confirmation to follow your exasperated order, the dark-haired women grinned. Perhaps if it was anyone else than Shuri, you would've been irritated and sent them out of your office, but concerning you viewed her more as a friend than a simple job partner, you did neither when her teasing continued.

"Has the dog really gotten that much under your skin?" She chuckled. "Must be the first one... ever. Or correct me if I'm wrong?" You simply dropped your head and shook it. The young women were right and she knew she was. Steven was the sole one able to make you nearly lose your footing ever since claiming the crown of the underworld.

"Why couldn't he just stay put?" You mumbled under your breath, thumb smoothing out the wrinkles having settled between your brows. "We'd never heard of him before. Why decide to make himself known now all of a sudden? After years of silence?"

"Some men seek the satisfaction of bringing entities down, especially if they ruled it before and now it's overtaken by a woman", you looked up at Shuri. But instead of meeting her gaze, your eyes fell to the piece of paper she held up. Evidently, she'd plucked your Cartier pen and a sticky note from the stack always resting on your desk and written three letters on the piece of paper while you spoke. You, it stood on it.

"Thank you for the flattery", you replied, reaching forward to snatch the note from her. "But I would've prefered if Rogers hadn't, would spare me the task of crushing his ego", the brown-eyed women chuckled at that.

"Maybe he needs to take yours down a step or two too", you stood from your chair as she said this, dropping the slightly crumpled note you'd taken from her into the bin under your desk, then starting to head towards the mirror you had in your office.

"I don't have an ego. I simply know my self-worth".

"Sounds a lot like you're bordering on narcissism", she said in a sing-song voice. "Maybe you and his pride can go on a date. I bet they would rule New York happily ever after", you couldn't suppress a chuckle at Shuri's words, whether you wanted to show how absolutely hilariously unbelievable it was or not.

"Can't your brother come and save me from your antics?" You muttered, spotting the smile the genius behind you sported in the mirror. It was meant for her to hear, so you weren't shocked when she responded to the banter.

"I actually prefer his absence. The two of you together nearly drown me in the seriousness", Shuri complained dramatically. You amusedly rolled your eyes before settling to look at your chosen attire.

Compared to how far away you stood from tradition in the godfather's senses, it was one custom you fulfilled like the rest of them. You believed that the clothes made the man. And, for a meeting like the one you soon would go to, you didn't hesitate to strive for that effect.

You knew Steven was old fashioned. Everything he did cried it. So, of course, you would try to throw him off at every point you could. The skirt and dress were switched out for a suit, midnight black. It was a loose fit and probably matched the high-end fashion more than traditional meeting standards, but you didn't genuinely worry. You were here to show you are the new generation and wouldn't budge because you were the sole women in New York running a syndicate. Doing the best job at it as well.

However, if the man you would meet would frown upon women in a suit, the lace bodysuit, black as well, you wore instead of a dress shirt would probably give him a heart attack. It covered enough but were in no way domesticated and left the upper part of your chest bare. It was a great way to show off the two thin chains of gold decorating your neck.

For some reason, your eyes lingered on the golden metal shining from the light trickling into your office. You started to fiddle with the necklace then, concentrating on how they weren't cold but rather heated up from your body temperature.

You became lost in your own world, fingers splaying over the hollow in your throat to absentmindedly play with the chains there while you thought about the meeting that was rapidly coming closer.

The action, together with the far-away look you stared at your movement in the mirror, was something that caught Shuri's attention.

"Relax", instantly your eyes flickered up to watch her in the mirror's reflective surface as if snapped from a daze. She'd shifted, so she now sat on the front of your desk, head turned in your direction. "It'll go good".

"Wasn't it you who said that you didn't want me to meet him in the first place?" You began to challenge her words of reassurance, hand falling from your skin to instead hang by your side. Not until you'd turned and cocked your brow at her did you continue. "That must insinuate you don't think it will go good", she simply shrugged when you said this.

"I did say I don't like his sudden call for a conference and that you accepted it in the first place", she began, crossing her feet at the ankle and looking down at the movement momentarily before her gaze found yours once more. "But that doesn't mean I don't think it will go good. I know it will. You're good at your job", you smiled at that. You already knew that you worked great under pressure, or else you wouldn't be standing on top of the empire you ruled. Although, it was always comforting to hear it from someone else.

Fittingly, in the next second, a knock on your door echoed in the room, effectively putting an end to your previous conversation with the women perched on your desk.

"Enter", you called without hesitating, as soon as both your and Shuri's attention also turned to the entrance. The guard stationed outside of your room didn't need to inform you of who'd wanted to enter. You already knew it was T'Challa. And as the guard opened the heavy door to your office and held it open for whoever had requested it, indeed it was Shuri's brother stepping through the doorway.

You didn't more than slightly tip your head to acknowledge the guard's nod of respect your way before he closed the door. Primarily because you spotted the slate grey folder the older of the children of T'Chaka held. It was the call about the seemingly insignificant object being completed that had interrupted the earlier discussion you, Shuri and T'Challa had. Your assemblage hadn't been much more than some minor last discussions and to wait for the folder the man now walking through the room held. Thus the portfolio contained a report, the ultimate attempt of finding anything that could aid you in the meeting with Steven.

"Anything good?" You skipped the unnecessary greetings as you gestured to the portfolio in T'Challa's hand while walking closer to your desk, which also was where he was heading.

"Look for yourself", when he said this, the brown-eyed mad held out the folder for you to take. You did but didn't open it until you'd rounded the counter and sat down in your chair again.

You didn't know what you'd expected to meet you, but a photo and a single sheet of paper weren't it.

For a moment, you stared at the picture resting on top of the report underneath it. Presumably, it should've been a photo of Steven sitting in some club. Although it was blurry and had no great exposure, which made it impossible to tell much about his appearance. Still, you knew it was him or else the picture wouldn't be here. However, it did nothing to help you paint a picture of the man which name so far seemed to be faceless.

Putting the picture to the side, you quickly started to eye the document. You scanned it, finding it contained random facts citing what properties the Canine boss had invested in, even owned. Apparently, Steven managed several clubs, which would explain why his first suggestion of a meeting place had been just that. Other than that, he owned some other businesses that wasn't much to cheer for. All infected by alcohol and drugs by the looks and names. Classical.

"This all?" You finally questioned after turning the sheet over, finding the backside blank. When glancing up, you saw T'Challa nodding. You clenched your jaw and looked back down at the paper.

Ever since Steven had asked for an official meeting, between your eyes only, as his message had been clear to state, you'd requested for the siblings to find out whatever they could about him. You wanted the advantage you knew he couldn't get over you. Thus, what was publicly known of you wasn't anything to hide. And frankly, he was more than welcome to read the articles that had written things about you. Yet, every secret of yours, or anything you'd deemed unfitting for anyone to know, had been wiped. No one could ever find something about you that you didn't want on the internet. Though, it seemed you weren't the only one sitting on resources like that.

Albeit the "new mob boss" was discussed in several articles, Steven's name had no face in any of them. In general, there was no picture of him or much information to track him down by either. So, despite your best efforts, now it seemed you didn't have much more than your hunch to go on during the meeting.

"I do not think it's wise to meet him", T'Challa said, much like his sister had earlier. With a sigh, you leaned back in your chair, fingers releasing the paper you'd gripped to pinch the bridge of your nose instead.

"Neither of you wants me to meet him, do you?" At first, silence met you, which made you look up the sibling pair. They shared a glance before Shuri turned slightly to look at you and her brother crossed his arms.

"No", they said simultaneously, which made you huff.

"I may like it as little as you two, but it put a temporary pause to the conflict. And if he comes to accept my terms, maybe that will remain".

"And what if he doesn't?" T'Challa inquired, receiving a frown from his sister, while you simply tilted your head down to look at your watch. "What if he refuses to tuck tail?" He continued to push.

"He won't", you stated, rising up from your chair, handbag now in your grip. It was three minutes until your driver would be here, so you needed to start heading down to the spot he would pick you up in. Yet, you were stopped in your tracks by a hand gripping your upper arm lightly.

"But what if?"

"T'Challa!" Shuri hissed at the unrespectful way her brother insisted on having his questions answered. She'd shot up from where she up until now had remained seated but before she could drag the man staring down at you with insistent eyes away, your raised the hand of your free arm. It stopped the younger women's movement, merely making her watch you and T'Challa.

There was a reason the siblings were able to run their tech operation as smoothly as they did. They complemented each other. What one lacked, the other possessed. For example, Shuri may own the belief everything was possible, then naturally, her brother would be more cautious. As in this instance. Hence, you didn't take any great offence to the dark-haired man's action, despite that your aloof tone could imply such a thing.

"What if he doesn't accept my deal after having me listen to whatever godawful settlement he offers me? Then I've kept my promise on meeting him for the parley he requested and one, which in the end, unfortunately, didn't establish an accord. Henceforth, our war will continue", you said, instantly feeling how T'Challa's hand fell from holding you back. Yet, you didn't pursue your track to the pick up you already was late for. Not until you assured him of one last thing. 

"Let me remind you that he was the one that asked me for a meeting, not the other way around. He asked me for a temporary truce and a chance to negotiate. In the end, that shows who's the most desperate to settle an agreement, no matter the terms".

Translation:

Lekati = Kitten