#Kakuzu was a scrawny

[ludagubi]

They're my children now

[blkkatsuki]

alsoo I could probably do a good Naruto cosplay methinks,,,,,,

u know I could probably pull off a pretty good sasori cosplay now that I'm thinking about it

[aguz-cm]

You've kinda ruined every other depiction of kakuzu for me like I see anyone else draw him and I'm like?? Why is he so scrawny?? WHERE are his TIDDIES

Lmao sorry, but yeah he deserves to be massive and beefy 🥰

I can't see him any other way :3

[kankuroplease]

I don’t think kakuzu cares much for looks so he’ll be fine and I could see him growing fond of rikis unique facial features lol.

Good

Riki isn’t the type to care about her looks as she could get disfigured in a fight any day. She would mostly take offense to him basically calling her scrawny or the fish comparison 😅

[ladykissingfish]

Christmas Shopping with the Akatsuki // Part Nine // Nagato

A shabby abandoned house in a village where the rain never stopped. Three scrawny children just barely holding on to life, and their dog who was doing the same. A table with a missing leg decorated with paper wreaths. A “feast” of half a loaf of filched bread, and the last bits of milk from somebody’s nearly dried up cow. This was the last Christmas that Nagato Uzumaki can remember spending where he was truly … happy. He and Konan and their friend Yahiko struggled to survive every day of the year, but Christmas was the one time they aimed for a level above merely “surviving” and pushed out into the boundaries of ���enjoying”. And it was an enjoyment. Spending time with the two people he loved more than anybody meant more to Nagato than all the bread and milk in the world. All he had wanted was to be able to protect them … and then Yahiko had died. Konan was all Nagato had left, and together, they formed the new Akatsuki. And Nagato … could feel happiness once more. His group went through hell on a daily basis … and their cloaks showed it. Ripped, torn, missing pieces, dirtied and faded … for Christmas, and against treasurer Kakuzu’s strained protests, the Leader decides to gift them all brand-new Akatsuki cloaks, but with a twist; Nagato, being a talented sewer, was going to take the new cloaks and sew unique inside linings to each one, linings that would embody each individual member and what strengths he felt they possessed. As soon as the new cloaks came to him, he set to work right away, personalizing each one.

Tobi

What to sew on the inside of this one’s cloak? What would represent him best? For some reason, when Nagato is thinking about it, the idea of stitching a pattern of a pair of glowing eyes comes to mind most frequently. But … surely this is just an errant though. After all, Nagato had never even seen Tobi’s eyes. He also considers a picture of dango sticks, but feels this would be far too childish compared to the emblems of the others, and he didn’t want to insult him. After some deliberation, Nagato decides to stitch a picture of a turtle, large and green, on the inside of this cloak. Besides being Tobi’s favorite animal, Turtles represented (amongst other things) steadfastness. Tobi and his cheerful, childlike presence remained a comforting constant in a chaotic organization, and although he could be annoying a lot of the time, it was soothing, to know that some things remained the same. The dark green on the inside looks lovely in contrast to the black and red outside, and Nagato feels as though he’ll have a hard time keeping Tobi from “accidentally” wearing the cloak inside-out most days.

Deidara

Deidara had been brought into the Akatsuki so young, and Nagato often voiced his doubt go Konan, about how long the kid would survive. But against all odds, he did. Thrived, even. Nagato sews a light blue lining to the inside of Deidara’s cloak, to match his vibrant eyes, and painstakingly sets to work recreating the clouds that are on the outside of the cloak, but with the difference of “shooting explosions” from within them. This should be the perfect form of expression for the artist who thought the highest form of artistic expression was, indeed, a fiery explosion.

Kakuzu

Nagato knew that most (if not all) of the Akatsuki faulted Kakuzu for his spendthrift ways, and some of them ((Hidan in particular)) would criticize his “cheapness” to his face. But Nagato honestly doesn’t know how his organization would have survived its first couple of weeks, without Kakuzu’s help. If it wasn’t for his carful budgeting and management of their funds, their would never be any food, or clothing, and the group would be huddled like cows in an open field rather than the various hideouts the old guy was able to procure for them. Not only that, but he kept the money coming in, even in the leanest of times, by taking on dangerous bounties. So Nagato makes the inside of Kakuzu’s cloak a soft, dark green (like Kakuzu’s eyes), and stitches a very realistic picture of a Money Tree on the inside-back. Hopefully the nonagenarian will like this ((although Nagato feels, and he’s not wrong, that Kakuzu will criticize him for making them all new cloaks to begin with)). Still, though; some things are necessary, even if they do cost a bit of time and money.

Sasori

Another artist with his own strong view on what “true art” was. Differing from his young partners belief in the ephemeral, Sasori of the Red Sand believed art to be eternal beauty. So Nagato makes the lining inside of his cloak to be a light red, to match his hair, and he stitches dozens of pictures of both scorpions and the infinity symbol, respectively. Nagato believes that Sasori will truly appreciate this; he always carves a scorpion emblem on the arms of his many puppets, and the infinity symbol well expresses a man who will, indeed, live forever.

Zetsu

Kakuzu, Hidan and Sasori aren’t the only ones blessed with eternal life within the Akatsuki. Nagato is positive that Zetsu has been around for longer than any of them, and would likely be around long after everyone else had faded away. Like Kakuzu’s cloak, Nagato decides to stitch a tree on the inside of Zetsu’s as well. For him, Nagato chooses the Tree of Life. At its core, this symbol represents growth, rebirth, and eternity. The many branches of this tree, as well as the golden circle enclosing it, requires many delicate stitches and careful, intricate sewing, making this cloak the most difficult of the bunch. But Nagato is quite pleased with his handiwork when he’s finished, and hopes that Zetsu will be, too.

Kisame

Nagato makes the inside of Kisame’s cloak’s lining a light blue, matching his skin color. He carefully, carefully stitches a little likeness of Samehada, Kisame’s beloved sword, on the inside. Well, two. One wrapped up, and the other showcasing the sword free and in all it’s glory. Well, HIS glory. Kisame never referred to his prize as an “it”, he always spoke of the weapon just as if it was another person. Nagato had thought this odd at first … until Konan pointed out that Nagato did the exact same things with his many Pain bodies.

Hidan

For Hidan, Nagato can only think to stitch the Jashin symbol on the inside of his cloak, along with a representation of Hidan’s ever-present scythe. As he’s carefully sewing, for some reason, the traitor Orochimaru came to mind. Nagato had several immortals within his group, and knew that Orochimaru had desired to be one of them. He had tried (and spectacularly failed) to take over Itachi’s body in order to do this … but why? Hidan had been more than enough proof that human immortality could be achieved, even if it WAS via a gruesome death-and-“prayer” ritual. If the snake man had gotten to know Hidan, or converted to his hedonistic religion, he might still be in the group today. Or maybe not. Maybe it was better that he wasn’t. That guy creeped Nagato out to no end, and he knew he wasn’t alone on that sentiment. Well, regardless, the cloak lining for Hidan was complete, so Nagato tucked it away in order to work on the next.

Itachi

Nagato was genuinely unsure as to what Itachi’s cloak lining should be. The Uchiha clan crest? Well, maybe not; after all Itachi had … parted ways, with his clan, hence why he was in the Akatsuki in the first place. Perhaps a pair of eyes displaying Itachi’s infamous sharingan? But no … maybe he wouldn’t like that. As Nagato is thinking about it, an idea for another eye comes into his mind: the Egyptian-based “eye of Horus”. According to the lore, this eye was said to represent well-being, healing, and protection. Nagato felt this really suited his young member, so he sets to work duplicating the eye in white thread on a light purple background. He feels Itachi will appreciate this depiction, as well as what it represents.

Konan

Konan’s cloak lining takes Nagato the longest to do, because it uses the most colors/different types of thread, and he sews very slowly, as he wants every stitch to be perfect. The inside of Konan’s cloak is a snowy white, to represent the purity and “newness” of Konan’s soul. Throughout the white, scattered all around, are butterflies. Every color, every wing pattern that Nagato can imagine. Butterflies represent change; they symbolizes metamorphosis, renewal and rebirth. Going from a state of crawling to being able to fly. And fly, Konan could. Nagato still remembers the very vivid gasps of several of the Akatsuki, upon first seeing Konan sprout paper wings and dart around in the sunlight. She’d looked like an Angel, light and magnificent and free. And she had changed, since those days of huddling together in an open field with Yahiko and Nagato, continually sprouting little bits of paper to feed the dying fire. She had grown stronger, and healthier, and more sure of herself as a person and as a ninja. Nagato was proud of her, and hoped that she knew how much he appreciated her friendship and her light in his life. This cloak with its winged beauties would never be able to compare to HER beauty, of course; but it was a valiant effort nonetheless.

[friendlyneighbourhoodfuckboy]

Kakuzu looks so scrawny in this panel

don’t hide your tits, king

[jashinblessthishole]

Rating the Akatsuki on whether I'd beat them in a fist fight. From most likely to least likely.

Sasori: He's a fucking puppet. Like what's he gonna do? Sit there?

Itachi: Someone feed this scrawny bitch a cheeseburger.

Deidara: All talk no good in an actual fight. Don't know how Sasori dealt with that. I'd take him out no issue.

Tobi: One good punch and he'd be out and be quiet.

Konan: Can probably hold her own but I could take her down.

Pein: Scrappy but I think I could face him in a fair fight.

Kakuzu: I fantasize about taking Kakuzu daily.

Zetsu: I wouldn’t even try. Do not interact.

Kisame: His fists are bigger than my head. Again, Itachi is a lucky bitch. But I know better than trying to fight him.

[raichoose-moved]

𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚅𝙸𝙴𝚆. ( repost, don’t reblog )

tagged by - @dokuhebi​ ( thanks!! )

tagging - @deathandtaxes​ ( kakuzu ) @odigcs​ @shinobistories​ ( hinata ) @foxnined​ @dctcnation​ @byakuhime​ @fistsbled​ @demillunar​ @shikkotsunin​ @sinnohsavior​ @tenebrosity-and-luminosity​ ( ilibis )

basics.

NAME: Jun’ichi Nakamura Kabuto Yakushi NICKNAME: Kabu for close friends, family, and romantic partners ; Four-Eyes, Guard Dog, Lap Dog, and Pet for those who are derogatory  AGE: 20s-40s depending on the thread  SPECIES: Human

personal.

MORALITY:   lawful  / neutral / chaotic / good / grey  / evil RELIGION: Kabuto does not consider himself to be religious, and he tends to attach himself to specific people and their philosophies instead. However, he does think a few myths and legends are true and takes lessons from them.  SINS:  greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES:  chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness (mainly post-war) / patience / justice (or so he claims) PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: Across the board, he wants to learn more about himself and feel like a real person, and he wants to make a medical breakthrough. In Classic and Shippuden, he wants to help Orochimaru achieve their goals. Later on in Shippuden, he wants to kill Danzo and Sasuke, avenge Orochimaru, and take down the Hidden Villages. Post-war, he wants to ensure no child is forced to become a Shinobi or to otherwise lead a life like his.  KNOWN LANGUAGES: Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, and English 

physical.

BUILD:   scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT: 177 cm (5 ft 9.6 in) WEIGHT: 65 kg (143.3 lb)  SCARS: A series of scars crisscross his back from a ROOT training incident BIRTHMARKS: None ABILITIES  /  POWERS: Medical ninjutsu (including techniques involving corpses), espionage, genjutsu, close-range combat, sage mode (serpent), summoning techniques, Earth and Wind techniques, Yin and Yang Release RESTRICTIONS: His vision is poor, so getting rid of his glasses can be a benefit (assuming he doesn’t go berserk because of their personal significance). While Kabuto has a technique that lets him recover quickly from injuries, it uses up a lot of his Chakra, and his preference for close-range combat means he’ll get hurt a lot and potentially badly while fighting if he fails to dodge. He doesn’t have nearly as many long-range techniques (aside from genjutsu) as close-range techniques. Relatedly, he can burn through Chakra quickly if he isn’t strategic about its use or if he gets too cocky in a fight and doesn’t monitor it well. Some of his Sage Mode techniques are double-edged swords, as they hurt him and others. He wants to learn kenjutsu, but at this time he’s only really good with smaller weapons, particularly kunai. Additionally, Kabuto’s mental health is bad, and it would be easy to take him out if you manage to figure out his specific triggers. He’ll also be rather self-sacrificial if he’s with someone he really cares about i.e. Orochimaru and will take blows for them, even if it’ll really harm him.

favourite.

FOOD: Seafood, rice, vegetables, butterscotch, cheesecake  DRINK: Green tea, sake PIZZA TOPPING: Vegetables or just cheese COLOR: Purple, pink  MUSIC GENRE: Rock, classical, instrumental, jazz  BOOK GENRE: Nonfiction, horror, science fiction MOVIE GENRE: Documentaries, horror, science fiction  SEASON: Spring  CURSE WORD: Hell, damn, bastard, bitch (he’ll also say fuck if he’s REALLY stressed or upset)  SCENTS: Tea, lavender, forests, and vanilla (he’s also very much used to the smells of laboratories, chemicals, blood, and even morgues, to the extent that they don’t bother him anymore) 

fun stuff.

BOTTOM OR TOP: He’s a bit of a switch depending on the partner, but Kabuto would definitely prefer playing the dominant role in the bedroom. He’ll only be submissive under select circumstances.  SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Yes, if he thinks he’s alone in the house.  LIKES PUNS: Tolerant of them, depending on the source 

[kakuzhu]

CHARACTER SHEET : kakuzu

Name :   kakuzu (his clan name has never been mentioned and i never made one up because it never seemed relevant...and he doesn’t like them anymore anyway) Nickname :   none Age :   physically in his early thirties, but he’s 91  Species :   weird jutsu monster 

Morality :   chaotic evil  (dislikes taking orders, will kill for pleasure, has little to no regard for others) Religion :   atheist  Sins :   Greed / Gluttony / Sloth / Lust / Pride / Envy / Wrath Virtues :   Chastity / Charity / Diligence / Humility / Kindness / Patience / Justice Languages :   japanese i guess 

Build :   Scrawny / Bony / Slender / Fit / Athletic / Curvy / Herculean / Pudgy / Average Height :   6′ 1′′ Scars / Birthmarks :   lots of scars lol. most prominently on his face extending from his lips to his ears, 2 scars each on both upper and lower arms, 2 angled scars from the shoulders to his chest, 2 angled scars from his hips up to his abdomen, 4 x-shaped scars on his back (one for each mask), 2 scars each on both upper and lower legs, plus whatever scarring he’s achieved after being alive and in combat for 90 years of life  Abilities / Powers :   ability to use any elemental jutsu because of his acquired forbidden technique, earth grudge fear. also has a body made of threads that has greater strength and endurance than a regular human body. ability to move all his organs to any other part of his body, and can carry up to four extra hearts (for a total of 5) to give him extra lives.  apart from earth grudge fear, he is also very good at earth spear, which covers his body with diamond-hard earth elemental jutsu that makes him nearly indestructible.  Restrictions :  idk what this means but if you manage to kill him 5 times then yeah congrats you killed him. also very strong/skilled lightning jutsu will break through his earth spear.

Favorite Food ?   liver  Favorite Pizza Topping ?   black olives  Favorite Color ?   none Favorite Music Genre ?   none Favorite Movie Genre ?   horror   Favorite Curse Word ?   bastard 

Top or Bottom ?   top Sings in the Shower ?   no Likes Pun ?   perhaps

                           —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —

TAGGED BY   :   stole it @foreaft​ TAGGING   :  take it from me 

[crackuzuarchived]

♡ Character Interview  ♡

GENERAL  !

NAME .   Kakuzu. NICKNAME .  None. AGE .   91. SPECIES .   Human.

PERSONAL  !

MORALITY .   lawful / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGION .   None. SINS .   greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES .   chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice KNOWN LANGUAGES .  English SECRETS .   His entire fucking life?

PHYSICAL  !

BUILD .   scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT .   6″07. SCARS  /  BIRTHMARKS .   His body is covered in scars an stitches thanks to the Earth Grudge Jutsu.

FAVORITES !

FOOD .   Fish Liver. (THIS IS PROBABLY SOME REALLY EXOTIC AND EXPENSIVE FOOD. BUT IT’S CANON. IN THE DATABOOKS THIS IS HIS FAVOURITE FOOD. SO ALL YOU MFS TELLING ME HE’S A CHEAP GREEDY CUNT? WTF?) DRINK .   Coffee. PIZZA TOPPING .   He doesn’t eat pizza. COLOR .    Browns and earthy greens. MUSIC GENRE .    I have a headcanon that he listens to nickelback, and Hidan hates it because it’s not a real rock band.specific Kakuzu songs are here. BOOK GENRE .    Another Headcanon, I think he likes Shakespearean novels. Mystery or revenge or even romance (Romeo and Juliet anyone?) MOVIE GENRE .     He probably sits with Hidan for the horrors/Thrillers and makes fun at the killers. I also think he likes a little bit of romance? But not like, heavy romances like The Notebook or Titanic, more.. Subtle romances that end in despair. Because that other shit just simply doesn’t happen. Cynical bastard. CURSE WORD .   I can see Kakuzu using ‘Cunt’ popularly. SCENTS .  Dirt, Earthy, Campfire-y, Roasted Marshmellows.

FUN STUFF  !

BOTTOM OR TOP .  Top preferred. SINGS IN THE SHOWER .  Sometimes. LIKES PUNS .  Nah man.

TAGGED BY .  @fatesrot TAGGING . @mindfucx

[theuchihaoftheshadows]

Something Tender

A shark's lifecycle was riddle with violence. From the moment of conception and through birth all the way to the end. There was no room for weakness. Nature's very own perfect killing machines. Kisame took pride in this knowledge. Kisame was not supposed to care for anyone. He was a weapon. A weapon who could not afford the luxury of allowing themselves to become vulnerable to anyone. Caring about someone meant weakness and weakness meant compromise. The Kiri nin did not compromise and Kisame didn't either.

Until Itachi.

There was no compromise there only solid devotion that had snuck up on Kisame like the plague. He wondered when things had gone from reluctant partners to unwavering loyalty. He wondered what this meant for him.

There were not many things in the world that Kisame was certain of. He could not afford to put his faith in many things. Not with the Akatsuki, not with Pein and certainly not with Madara. And for sometime, he thought Itachi was also included in that list of those he could not put his trust in. Yet the Uchiha surprised him; Kisame was not accustomed the surprises.

Extraction missions tended to be dull. Often the Akatsuki's spies would be killed before they could reach their mark or turned on their employers. It certainly didn't do much for business and Kisame had made a habit of guessing which of the Akatsuki's spies were snitches. He tended to be right when he guessed, able to see the weakness in their eyes.

There was a man who they were supposed to get the information from. He was short. Shorter than Itachi at least and scrawny with big hands that were veiny and nails that were chipped and dirty. He was also incredibly difficult and rude. Not that either Kisame or Itachi were expecting anything less. They had met up with the man to discuss details over the location of weapons that Madara had been interested in. The man was their fence and had a reputation for being difficult. Kisame never had the patience for vague answers and was ready to leave or kill the fence. As expected, he was just as annoying at ever.

"Do you at least have a location for us?" Kisame bit out in annoyance and the man scowled at him, beady eyes watery and frustrated. Same old song and dance. The man-who Kisame had not bothered to learn the name of crossed his arms over his chest.

"You can't expect me to be giving this out for free, do you?" He replied, voice like oil. Itachi nearly sighed and instead fixed the man with an unimpressed stare.

"You are one of the Akatsuki's fences. I would expect you to at least put in the effort." Itachi responded coolly. If the man gave no noteworthy information, they would simply move on. Madara would not be pleased but they would at least be able to continue on their travels. The man turned his gaze to Itachi and looked him up and down.

"There's a lot of people out there who would appreciate these locations." He drawled and Kisame nodded while Itachi simply stared. "And there will be offers that even the Akatsuki might not be able to match."

"So you're saying you would screw the Akatsuki over for a better deal." Kisame concluded while the man shook his head quickly.

"No no not at all. I can give you the details it will just cost extra."

"How much extra?" Itachi asked, knowing Kakuzu would not be thrilled with it. Kisame crossed his arms over his chest and the man stared hard at the Uchiha. "You honestly expect our employers to be happy that you are going back on a deal? I am sure our Leader will not be happy with you."

"I'm sure we can come to an arrangement." The man offered and Kisame narrowed his eyes at the suggestion and Itachi regarded him in disinterest. He did not like the look in the man's eye or what he was saying. It was time to move on now. He looked towards Kisame and nodded to the road. Kisame however had not looked away from the man, fix beady eyes narrowed slightly.

"I'd like to hear what he's offering, Itachi-san." Kisame suggested lightly and Itachi reluctantly looked back towards the man who suddenly looked excited. Itachi nodded for the man to continue.

"You might as well speak quickly. I'm beginning to lose interest in speaking with you." Itachi commented, glancing towards the road. The weather was beginning to turn and Itachi was ready to get moving. The man glanced once more at Kisame who had fixed him with an intense stare as if eager to hear what the fence had to offer. This seemed to give the man confidence because he looked back at Itachi.

"We could at least put that pretty mouth of yours to use. Seeing how you have nothing else to offer." The man replied with a growl and Itachi gave no indication that he even heard him, although he felt Kisame tense at his side.

"We'll be alerting Pein-sama about your inability to actually do your job." Itachi stated, turning away from the man. "You should expect to hear from him soon." Kisame did not budge, still staring at the fence who sneered, obviously annoyed that some kid was disregarding him. Some punk ass kid was looking at him as if he were vermin. Well, that would not do.

"You better run boy. It would be a mighty shame if me or one of my boys decided to come pay you a visit one night." The man's lips were curled back, his teeth gleaming, but Itachi kept walking. Kisame stopped walking, red flashing before his eyes.

"You mind repeating that?" Kisame's voice was rough and terse as if he were trying to keep his temper under control. Itachi turned and looked to him, eyes narrowed as a silent order for him to calm down. The man scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, eyes darting from Kisame and to Itachi as if he felt the tension in the air. He seemed to have realized that he had treaded a little too far and could feel the thickness in the air.

"Look, I didn't mean anything by it." He began, hands coming up in defense. One of his nails was jagged, dirt coating underneath. Kisame thought the dirt suited him quite nicely.

"Oh? Then what did you mean?" Kisame demanded while Itachi quietly called his name. Kisame ignored him however and took a step towards the fence.

"Look, I-" The man sounded almost panicked as he stumbled back, Kisame advanced forward with a slow swagger. It was the hunt before the kill, and Kisame was on the prowl. Some stupid little fish had decided to take a bite at one of Kisame's own...that would not do...that would not do at all. Before Itachi could say anything Kisame had reached the man and Itachi heard the man shriek and a crack before the kiri nin released the man, stepping back as he fell face down onto the ground. Itachi stared at the fence for a long moment.

"We were not suppose to kill him." Itachi quietly stated, staring at Kisame's back. "Leader-sama will not be happy." Kisame did not face him.

"He insulted you." The elder said as if it were the simplest thing in the world, and perhaps for him it was. Itachi shook his head. Kisame's voice was devoid of emotion, as he stated the simple fact. If Itachi were anyone else, he would have squirmed at that eerie tone, instead the Uchiha released a small noise of understanding.

"Kisame, that's not-" He began only for Kisame to finally turn and face him, expression severe.

"He shouldn't have talked about you like that." There was such conviction in his voice and it stunned Itachi. Kisame's eyes were like burning coal, fierce as the studied Itachi. The Uchiha was stunned by the raw emotion in them.

"Kisa-" Itachi began again but his partner cut him off.

"I know...you don't like me killing people and all that shit, but I could hardly let this asshole walk away after what he said. No one talks to you like that and gets to just walk away. I din't care who they are." Itachi stared as Kisame kicked the body over. The kiri nin knelt down and reached for the man's pockets, drawing out several items.

"Thank you." Itachi finally managed and Kisame turned to him, offering him a small smile, that gave him an almost tender expression. No one had defended Itachi like this before and it sent a warm feeling blooming in the Uchiha's chest.

"I have the locations here." Kisame held up the fence's papers. "We can get them back to the hideout." They didn't speak of the incident again, but Kisame lightly nudged the Uchiha as they trekked back down the wooded trail. Itachi shot Kisame a small smile, barely noticeable but leaving Kisame feeling like it was all worth it.

[jashinblessthishole]

Rating the Akatsuki on whether I'd fuck them or not. (Least to most likely)

Zetsu: Walking pot plant. Also a cannibal. Probably doesn't know what to do anyway. Fucking freaky ass plant.

Sasori: Creepy ass Pinocchio looking mother fucker. Also, don't want splinters on my dick or in my asshole.

Kisame: I mean the muscles are great but he's ugly as fuck. Also those teeth...could be fun, but not worth that face.

Pein: Dig the piercings, but he probably sucks in bed. Bossy without putting in any actual effort.

Tobi: Annoying as shit, but probably is eager or some shit. Like a puppy.

Konan: Hot. Only chick in the group but I get a pillow princess vibe from her.

Itachi: Super hot and looks like he's into some weird shit, but I'd probably end up snapping his scrawny ass legs or something.

Deidara: If I hit it from the back I can think he's a chick. Probably wild as fuck. Whiny though. Also likely only wants to bottom.

Kakuzu: Yes.

[crackuzuarchived]

♡ Character Interview  ♡

GENERAL  !

NAME .   Hidan (Bcos he’s my spirit animal) NICKNAME .  Idiot (Kakuzu and probably Ino) AGE .   22 (Holy shit I’m older than Hidan o.o) SPECIES .   Human? Doubt it.

PERSONAL  !

MORALITY .   lawful / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true RELIGION .   Gee, I wonder. (Jashinist motherfuckerrr) SINS .   greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES .   chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice KNOWN LANGUAGES .  English SECRETS .   Pfft please, this man is an open book.

PHYSICAL  !

BUILD .   scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average HEIGHT .   5″8. SCARS  /  BIRTHMARKS .   He heals quickly thanks to Jashin’s blessing. So scars don’t sit on him for long and no birthmarks. HIS BODY IS PURE PERFECTION MKAY.

FAVORITES !

FOOD .   BBQ Ribs DRINK .   Probably soft drink or some form of alcohol. PIZZA TOPPING .   Meatlovers probably. COLOR .    Red. A deep lustful red. The kind of red you’d see in a porn stars hot tub. MUSIC GENRE .    Metal, Rock. Some specific songs are here. BOOK GENRE .    He doesn’t read anything other than his bible. MOVIE GENRE .     Action, Horror, Thriller. He likes pointing out the flaws in the killers’ actions. CURSE WORD .   All of them. Fuck, Bastard, Cunt, Prick, Motherfucker, etc. SCENTS .  Blood, Iron, Fire, Rotting meat? Sexy.

FUN STUFF  !

BOTTOM OR TOP .  Switches. Prefers top. SINGS IN THE SHOWER .  Rarely. LIKES PUNS .  Fuck no.

TAGGED BY .  @fatesrot TAGGING . Nah.