#Kakashi here has had it especially worse

[swagglessmoth]

When the love is unrequited in two universes, bc both versions of the guy you’re in love with prefer your alternate self who’s better than you in every way

From this fic ⬇️ by @anj-does-stuff

[animeomegas]

The Quest for a Second Life - Part 6 - 50 Shades of Audacity (2)

KAKASHI x ALPHA!READER

Summary: An office scandal, the start of your gold digging arc, and a mysterious house in the countryside... It still annoyed you that you had to have a job, but honestly, it could have been worse. This was kind of exciting! GN!Dom!Alpha!Reader x Multiple

Word count: 8.7k

Warnings: N-sfw content, workplace violations, vague discussion of canon specific suicide, playful smacking, playful physical restraint. All alphas have dicks, fyi.

A/N: Hey! We're rapidly reaching the end of this story now! Only one more chapter before the epilogue, crazy! Time has flown. Happy holidays to everyone, especially @omeganronpa who is working so hard, hopefully a break is coming soon 😖 Not much porn in this one, as I'm saving it for the finale. Enjoy~

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Epilogue

Going for a Sunday drive was always a nice way to spend a morning. Well, it wasn’t Sunday and technically you weren’t driving, but the point still stood.

You had your nose basically glued to the window as the unfamiliar city sights bled into an equally unfamiliar, but timeless countryside. Fields, animals, trees, they all rushed past, familiar and new in the same breath. You were pleasantly surprised that this erotica world city didn’t have suburbs; who knew you just had to die to benefit from good city planning?

Kakashi’s fancy car was growing on you too, with its heated seats and spacious leg room, and you couldn’t deny that it was also having an impact on how much you were enjoying this drive. It even had six cupholders. Six. Kakashi didn’t even have that many friends in total, but even having the choice to have six beverages felt like a luxury experience.

Kakashi was also in his fancy car, of course, but he was considerably less interested in the view, and more interested in the paperwork he’d brought along. What a boring place to put one’s attention; you needed to rectify that immediately.

“If you could pick one of your dogs to magically learn English, who would you pick?” His pen not even slowing for a moment, Kakashi answered with no hesitation.

“Anyone but Pakkun.”

Hmm, maybe a harder question would work?

“What’s 472 + 9012?”

“9484.”

Something shocking perhaps?

“Does your pubic hair also defy gravity?”

“No comment.”

Oh, something weird would surely get his attention!

“If I were a worm, would you still love me?”

“No.”

You huffed, sinking down into your heated seat. He hadn’t even paused in the paperwork, so your plan had thoroughly failed. You wondered why Kakashi, a man you’d seen climb out of a window to avoid a work meeting once, was now diligently completing paperwork when he had a good excuse not to. Whatever, he’d probably already procrastinated on it enough that Iruka had threatened him into finishing it. No one ignored direct instructions from Iruka, even though he wasn’t technically high up enough to give instructions at all.

You sighed, turning back to the window to keep yourself amused, acknowledging that you’d lost the battle for Kakashi’s attention to his paperwork. Maybe it was the effect of the car journey, or maybe you were just sappy, but you quickly found yourself reminiscing.

Two weeks ago, you never would have imagined being here with him like this. It was almost difficult to wrap your head around how much your relationship had changed in such a short amount of time, how comfortable you’d both become with each other. Kakashi still took his role as ‘professional nuisance’ seriously of course, revelling in winding you up as what seemed like his main past time and hobby.

He was also still late to meetings, refused to do work, skipped lunch if you didn’t bring it to him… Okay, so maybe not that much had changed. But hey, you kissed frequently now, that was new! And your name was also currently the hottest topic in every break room at work.

That very first day after the tryst in Kakashi’s office had to have been your favourite in terms of gossip shockwaves. It had turned out that Kakashi did have another spare shirt for you to wear home after both your shirt and his first spare had been ruined, and the next morning, groggy and tired, you grabbed it to wear to work without thinking about what you were doing.

You had known that there was gossip about you and Kakashi leaving work together, but apparently the security guard’s version of events, that you had both come back to work together after hours, you without a shirt, and then locked yourself in his office, was in hot debate. Many refused to believe that terminal bachelor Kakashi Hatake would ever sleep with his secretary. ‘Something out of a bad porn book’, you had heard multiple times. How ironic.

So, when you walked in late, wearing Kakashi’s shirt, you corroborated the security guard’s story and confirmed the rumours all at once.

The break room fell silent the second you walked in, even though it had been filled with loud debate moments before. Everyone turned to look at you. Have you ever lifted a rock and had all the bugs underneath it suddenly freeze? It felt like that.

“Good morning,” you said, shooting everyone a hesitant smile. “Sorry I’m a bit late today.”

You watched as everyone’s eyes flickered from your face, down to your shirt, and then up to your face again. The room was uncomfortably silent.

Suddenly Asuma cheered, and chaos descended on the room. Not everyone seemed as thrilled as Asuma though. Kurenai only sighed and passed Asuma a handful of cash. Anko did the same, but with significantly more swearing and threats towards his delicate parts.

(You would find out later that Asuma had seen the security footage of your interview and had proceeded to make many, many bets that you and Kakashi would be fucking within a week. Because of Kakashi’s ‘no dating’ reputation, you were sure he had raked in a significant amount.)

Iruka’s face went bright red, and he sputtered for a moment before turning around and pretending to organise the mug cupboard. He did not succeed in hiding the small bit of blood now dripping from his nose.

In contrast to Iruka’s not so subtle hiding, Gai came right up to you and thumped you on the back, shouting about youth.

Yamato only stared at you, his already large eyes wider than normal. You weren’t sure what emotion he was embodying, but it was certainly creepy.

Maybe it was best if you just went to your desk?

Just as you turned to leave, Gai had one more final thing to say.

“I hope your love blossoms with intensity!” he said, giving you a thumbs up.

Why did that feel like he was giving you permission to fuck Kakashi?

People did slowly get used to the idea that you and Kakashi were something more than coworkers. It helped that you had lunch together most days, which gave people a chance to get used to seeing you together.

On days where your schedules didn’t align for lunch though, you made a point to grab dinner together. Your favourite by far had been dinner at his penthouse flat. Not only was that the night where you’d first called Kakashi your boyfriend, but it was also the first time you were introduced to his dogs.

It felt strange to be walking through a block of flats that was so fancy. The lobby had looked like something from a 5-star hotel, and you had had to show your ID before the front desk would let you upstairs, even though Kakashi had informed them that you’d be coming. Security reasons, they had said. You wondered what other high-profile people lived here.

Kakashi had the penthouse flat, so his was the only one on the top floor. You exited the lift and were immediately confronted with his front door. It wasn’t quite as big as the door in the library you had chosen his story from, but it was still an impressive size.

If you were being honest, it was a little intimidating.

The intimidation factor was shattered as soon as you knocked on the door however, because the second your fist made contact with the wood, a cacophony of barking sounded from the other side.

“Yes, yes, I’m going, you can stop barking.” You could faintly hear Kakashi’s voice through the door. “Bisuke! Get off there!”

The barking still continued.

“Sit, sit. All of you sit! I mean it, or you won’t be getting any treats today.”

Slowly, the barking and the sound of claws clacking ceased, and suddenly the door was pulled open. Standing there, in all his homey glory, was Kakashi.

You were used to seeing him exclusively dressed in suits, but he was wearing lounge clothes. Lounge clothes! Uptight, always ready for a fancy restaurant Kakashi, was wearing a grey tracksuit, with a long-sleeved top in dark blue, and fluffy slippers.

A smile grew on your face; perhaps you were biased, but these suited him a lot more. They still looked expensive, but they were just so much cosier than his normal get up. It made you want to hug him. You resisted for a moment before remembering what world you were in and what the point of this whole second life thing was, and then your resistance crumbled into nothing.

You threw yourself at him for a hug.

“Oof.” Kakashi floundered in surprise for a moment, but when you didn’t let go, he tentatively patted you on the back. You giggled and squeezed him harder, burying your face into his neck.

There were no scent patches! He wasn’t wearing scent patches! Giddy, you took a deep breath of his scent, letting it fill and sit in your lungs. Yes, he smelt utterly delicious.

Kakashi put his hands on your upper arms and gently tugged you away from him. His face was bright red. You could almost see steam coming out of his ears. You laughed at him but decided to show mercy and not tease him over his obvious bashfulness. You instead turned your attention to his dogs.

They were all sitting together to your right, tails wagging furiously. You could tell that if they had been any less well trained, they’d have been jumping all over you.

You opened your bag and pulled out a little something that you’d brought to make sure they liked you. When the dogs caught sight of the McDonald’s bag, their excitement obviously got too much to contain, because they all ran over to your feet, a couple jumping up at you, a couple barking, all looking eager to get their hands on the carroty goodness.

Kakashi, although you could tell he was amused, stepped in to corral his little gremlins. God, he was such a dog dad.

You had received copious wet kisses that day, mostly from the dogs, but also from a sappy Kakashi who had seemed utterly thrilled that you and his dogs got along.

You had had to make and study flash cards to remember all his dogs’ names, but Kakashi’s genuine smile as he watched you interact with them made it all worth it.

You had also met Charlie, Kakashi’s personal chef that evening.

The presence of his personal chef didn’t surprise you. What surprised you was when said chef made dinner for the dogs and then immediately left, leaving Kakashi to cook for you and him. It was exactly that abrupt, and you had laughed until you cried. Of course, he hired a personal chef just for his dogs. He spoilt them rotten.

You were sceptical as to how much skill he would have in the kitchen, but he produced a delicious meal with little trouble. It made you warm that Kakashi was so enthusiastic about cooking dinner you.

Cooking wasn’t the only way he was spoiling you though; he seemed incredibly willing to flash his cash for you, much to your delight.

“Have you considered a top hat?” you asked, picking up the worst top hat you’d ever seen and holding it up as a suggestion. Kakashi gave you a flat look. “What? If this Autumn Company Party thing is so important, you need to make an impression, and this hat would certainly make an impression!”

“I don’t want to make the kind of impression that has my board of directors attempting to oust me from the company.” He took the hat and placed it back on the rack.

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes. “If you didn’t want my fashion advice, why did you even bring me along to pick your outfit? I could have just waited in the car.”

The attendant that was serving you walked back into the room with a selection of ties based on Kakashi’s preferences. He laid them out on the stool for him to peruse. He had already witnessed a great deal of your banter, but if he was surprised by it, then he was too professional to let that show.

“You’re my personal assistant.”

You flicked the tie he was currently wearing up into his face. “That doesn’t mean I need to watch you pick out ties, asshole.”

Kakashi flicked you on the forehead in turn, rolling his eyes as he always did. “No, I mean that you’ll have to attend the party with me, and I figured you would need a new outfit. As you said, it’s important to make an impression, especially as this will be your debut of sorts.”

You snorted, pulling at one of the price tags of a nearby shirt. “Not in here, thanks. Just reading these numbers is making my bank account cry, I can’t imagine what buying them would do to it.”

Kakashi watched you for a moment, before he stuck his hand into his pocket. Out came his wallet.

‘James? Is what I think is happening, actually happening?’

‘I believe you are about to reach a major milestone in your goal to become a ‘gold digger’, human. My soul is warmed by your success, may it be prosperous and eternal.’

‘Thanks, James, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.’

Just as you predicted, Kakashi slipped his card out from his wallet and handed it to you. “Buy whatever you need, I can’t have my assistant looking shabby now, can I?”

You could imagine this scene in other stories, stories where you weren’t the lead. The MC would decline, either out of bashfulness or a sense of pride. Kakashi would probably then insist, and maybe MC would feel obliged to agree, but they would slip outside and purchase the outfit from a cheaper shop down the road to make a point. And then Kakashi would swoon because MC is ‘not like other alphas’.

You were the lead in this story though, so you took the card immediately, grinning from ear to ear.

“Fuck yes,” you said under your breath. Kakashi snorted, but he looked amused, not offended, by the way you were treating his money. “I’m going to dress up like royalty.”

You scurried off into your preferred section of the shop, Kakashi’s card clutched tightly in your grasp. You eagerly rifled through the racks. At several moments, you got the feeling that you were being watched, but whenever you looked back, Kakashi was fully focused on shopping. Maybe you were imagining it?

The Autumn Company Party had been coming up a lot. It was clearly the climax of the plot, but unlike Itachi’s story, you weren’t really sure what the plot was. James had no idea what would be happening at the party either, just that something would happen, and whatever that something was, it was heavily influenced by your actions. You had originally been apprehensive, but you figured that for a porn story, it couldn’t be anything too bad, so you focused on your excitement about attending such a fancy work party. You’d bet the hors d’oeuvres were going to change your life.

(You were confident because you had been the one in charge of choosing the catering company and the menu. Your job was pretty fun at times, even if your true career calling was independently wealthy.)

In between the planning for the party, your physical relationship with Kakashi had also developed over the last fortnight.

“You’re needy tonight,” you teased, curling your fingers just right. Kakashi shivered.

“On the contrary, you need to shut up.”

You tutted, “That wasn’t your best work.”

“Forgive me; I’m a little preoccupied.” You took that as an invitation to press at his prostate as hard as you could. Kakashi face screwed up in pleasure, and he made no more comments.

“Wow, who knew that you had an off switch this whole time? If I’d had known this little bundle of nerves had such an effect, my interview would have gone very differently.”

“The more time I spend with you, the less I’m surprised that you were single when we met.”

“Asshole.”

That had been during his first visit to your flat. You had the strange impression that he felt more comfortable in your home than his own, for some reason. Regardless, that night was the first time you’d gone all the way.

“Are you ready?” you asked, kissing on his collar bones to distract yourself from his tight warmth, and how much you really wanted to move.

“I was ready ten minutes ago. I’m not going to break the second you put any pressure on me, or in me, as it were.” Kakashi purposely clenched around you causing you to hiss. “Get on with it.”

You pulled away and narrowed your eyes at him. He only raised an eyebrow in response. Fine, if he wanted it rough, you’d give it to him rough.

…

“Fuck, I’m tired,” you said, flopping back onto the bed, exhausted. Kakashi looked much the same, panting hard from exertion.  

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” he replied.

“…”

“…”

“Second round in the shower?”

“Obviously.”

Now that had been a fun night. Your activities didn’t stay exclusively in the bedroom though. You had quickly found that not only did Kakashi like it when you took control in social situations, like ordering for him at restaurants, he also liked it when you lightly teased him in public.

Nothing too extreme, of course, as there was a chance that such a thing would literally end up in the news if you were caught, but you had both made a game of seeing how many dirty messages you could hide in the other’s paperwork. You were winning, although the scores were close.

You were so glad that Kakashi’s morning meeting was being held in one of the rooms made entirely of glass. It meant that, although you weren’t in the meeting, you still had a prime view to Kakashi’s reaction when he inevitably found the note you had hidden in his folder.

You watched as Kakashi continued his speech to the board of directors, reaching for his folder to check something.

Oh, there, he was opening his folder!

The cover flipped open and Kakashi froze for only a moment, before he continued like nothing had happened.

You were impressed by his ability to keep his cool, you had to admit, but you still noticed the way his hand shook ever so slightly, as he snuck the note out of the folder and into his pocket without anyone noticing.

When the meeting finished, Kakashi walked straight back over to you, dropping the note in question on your desk.

“You’re incorrigible.” There was the slightest pink to his cheeks.

“So, you don’t want a rimjob?”

Kakashi gave you one of his signature flat looks, although the pink tinge ruined it somewhat, and wordlessly walked into his office, leaving you fruitlessly supressing your cackles.

To sum it up, you really liked him, and it was clear that he really liked you. You had seen his home, met his dogs, eaten his food, and seen flashes of the complexity bubbling just below Kakashi’s purposefully distant exterior.

In a moment of surprising seriousness, Gai had vigorously shaken your hand yesterday and told you that he’d never seen Kakashi as light and happy as he’d been these last few weeks. It was nice to hear.

You still didn’t like the fact that you had to work, but again, the job could have been a lot worse, and you were playing the long game. Technically, you were working right now, but Kakashi had asked you to accompany him on a mini road trip into the surrounding countryside. The days where Kakashi took you with him out of the office were your favourite, but today something was off. You had tired to write off Kakashi’s out of character behaviour as him just having an off day, but there was something about it that was really putting you on edge.

It was like he was trying to distract himself with the paperwork. You wondered if this meant his backstory reveal was coming up. Itachi had started behaving strangely when his worries about you rejecting him for his past were about to make themselves known. Maybe Kakashi’s backstory had something to do with where you were going.

Apparently, you were going to visit a house. Kakashi had mentioned that one of his properties (one of them, pfft, rich kid) required some maintenance. According to him, the roof had been damaged in a storm a few weeks earlier, and he needed to prepare the house for the builders to carry out repairs. Kakashi had described your tasks as mainly including clearing space for scaffolding, cleaning and packing away the breakables in the main rooms, and plugging in the fridge so the builders could store their lunches and have milk for beverages.

They didn’t seem like the kind of tasks that would cause a significant amount of stress. If he was doing things like packing away valuables and plugging in the fridge, it was probably a place he lived, rather than a rental or something. Maybe it was a summer home? You supposed that Kakashi was a very private person, so maybe he was on edge at the thought of having a load of strangers in his house without supervision.

Hmm, that sounded too simple for this universe though. You were due a backstory exposition scene, and maybe you spent too much time reading erotica, but this felt like it had ‘tragic backstory incoming’ written all over it.

“So, this place we’re going… is it a summer home? Oh! Or a summer estate? Is it a mansion? Does it have a pool, and can I use it?”

Kakashi didn’t take the obvious banter bait, he just kept his head down and continued signing documents, providing a short, factual answer.

“It’s none of those things, nor does it have a pool.”

“Aww.” You tried to play up your sadness with a pout. “I was excited.”

“Doesn’t your complex have a swimming pool?”

“I mean, yeah, technically, but this would be a private swimming pool, that’s way better.”

Kakashi chuckled, but his heart didn’t seem in it. You put a hand on his knee and squeezed. He looked surprised for a moment, before his face melted into something softer. He took the hand in his and gave it a squeeze in return.

“If it makes you feel better, the property does have a habitat for racing pigeons.”

“Wha—Really?!”

“No.”

“…”

“…”

“I hate you so much.”

…

As the car turned off the main road, you pressed your face back against the window to ooh and ahh at the sights. The road was less maintained and significantly bumpier, but you didn’t let the risk of a concussion stop you from your sightseeing.

There were bushes and flowers and pretty trees lining each edge of the road, and one more turn had you going down what looked like a private road, or dare you say it, a driveway. At this point, you were kind of expecting a mansion, no matter what Kakashi said. What other homes had long private roads? Unless it was some kind of farmhouse? You couldn’t imagine Kakashi owning a farm, but his name did mean scarecrow, so perhaps he’d purchased it as a joke? Did rich people buy property for jokes?

As the car slowly turned one last time, the house in question crept into view. It was neither a farmhouse nor a summer estate. No, it was a traditional, single story, Japanese minka house, set amongst a beautiful and equally traditional garden, framed by beautiful trees, all of which were orange and red and practically screamed Autumn.

The house was large, but not excessively so. At a glance, you would assume it had three to four bedrooms. The roof was sloped and covered in worn shingles, stretching out to shelter the sprawling engawa. Wood and stone materials were used heavily in the walls and decorations, and lamps hung from both sides of the front door. It was beautiful.

You were out of the car the second it stopped.

Now that you were walking up to it, you could see the stone pathways, the koi pond, the sliding glass door at the side, and the shutters on the windows. It was a minka house, but it had clearly been modernised.

You heard the sound of two car doors opening and closing and figured that Kakashi and his chauffeur had joined you in front of the house.

“This is completely gorgeous! I’ve never seen a modernised minka house before. If it’s not a summer home, what is it for?” There was no response, so you turned, breaking eye contact with the beautiful house to search for him. “Kakashi?”

He was standing a few paces behind you, just staring at the house in silence.

“Kakashi—”

“Let’s get everything out of the car,” he mumbled, cutting you off and turning away from the house.

“Kakashi—”

“There isn’t that much; we could probably carry it all in in one trip.”

His tone made it clear that he wasn’t interested in answering your question. You trusted that the narrative would push you into finding out what was wrong when the time was right, so for now, you broke the trance the house had on you, and helped to unpack the boot.

The supplies in the boot took the form of cleaning products, empty boxes, and a few bags of groceries and kitchen supplies. Between the three of you, it was light work, and soon everything was resting on the engawa, ready to be moved inside.

Having other duties to attend to, the chauffeur took his leave once everything was out of the car, leaving you and Kakashi standing in front of the house, side by side. You awkwardly waited for him to unlock the door, but he didn’t seem interested in moving.

You cleared your throat, “Um, should we go in?”

Kakashi jolted like a doll suddenly coming to life and fished the key out of his pocket. He unlocked it, and the door swung open, creaking all the while.

“WD-40 who? This house doesn’t know her.”

He sighed, “Just go inside.”

“Alright, spoil sport.”

Kakashi held open the door and you went inside, slipping off your shoes in the entrance.

Inside, the house was… confusing.

Your eyes darted left and right, trying to understand what you were looking at. It was traditional but modernised with new appliances, not strange considering the outside of the house, but it looked distinctly like it had been modernised at least two decades ago. It was immaculately tidy, not single object out of place, and yet the entire thing was covered in a thick layer of dust. To make things more confusing, it looked lived it, personal, with clutter and photos, but it had an overwhelming air of abandonment.

As you said, it was confusing. Vibe check thoroughly failed.

“It’s… nice?” you said, hoping you could force your voice into something sincere. “Traditional modern vintage? Troderage? Vinadern? Whatever it is, it’s interesting, and I—”

Kakashi cut you off by placing a finger on your lips. He looked amused and exasperated all at the same time. You went cross eyed trying to look at the offending finger, which only seemed to amuse him more.

“You don’t have to find something nice to say, I’m aware that it’s seen better days.”

You went to bite his finger, so he tugged it away, leaving you to snap unsatisfyingly at empty air “Hey, I’m not lying! I like it, it has potential! And potential is the more important thing for a property in my opinion. Like, sure, you could buy one of those awful modern renovated homes with no personality, but if I wanted to live in a white monastery, I’d just—”

Kakashi took one of the masks he’d brought and pressed it over your mouth and then stretched the elastic over your ears to keep it in place, effectively cutting you off once again.

“You know I can still talk through these, right?” you asked, voice slightly muffled, but still clearly understandable. He passed you a dusting cloth and a bottle of unidentified cleaning spray.

“Just… clean. I’ll carry the boxes through and start packing, okay?”

“You’re not the boss of— Oh.” That’s right, he was literally our boss. Good job this was a porn world, because you had a feeling that real world HR wouldn’t approve.

You were rewarded with another one of his eyes smiles as he snapped his own mask into place. “Chop chop, dear assistant of mine.”

Ugh, fine, whatever. Kakashi went back out to the engawa, and you decided to start by dusting the mantel place. If you dusted the photos and ornaments first, which practically covered the mantel place, Kakashi could get started with packing them up.

You started at the left end and grabbed the first picture. Confusingly, it had been laying face down. You hesitated, wondering if it was something Kakashi explicitly didn’t want you to see. You felt drawn to it though. Was that just you being nosy, or was this some kind of hint from your porn logic overlords? Was it moral for you to look when—Too late you already grabbed it and flipped it over.

Philosophising took too long.

It was a photo of two people, obviously a father and son, sitting in the garden you’d just walked through. The sun was shining, and both people were covered in mud, clearly having just finished some gardening. It was a sweet picture, but more importantly you recognised the two people from your google searches.

It was a photo of a young Kakashi and his father. This was his—

A hand tugged the photo out of your hand. Kakashi.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think—”

“It’s fine.” His voice was short, but at least he didn’t sound angry.

“This was your family home, wasn’t it?” you asked softly.

Kakashi sighed, turning away from you to put the photo in one of the boxes. “In a way. Although I haven’t lived here since I was four.”

You put a comforting hand on his shoulder, wondering if this was where you were going to find out about Kakashi’s angst. The death of his father had definitely made an impact on him, but you had a suspicion that there was something more to his angst than that.

Kakashi looked as tightly coiled as a spring, though. You decided to wait until he was more relaxed before you tried coaxing his backstory out of him. Some cleaning would get his mind off things.

“Let’s start with the dusting!” you said, artificially injecting some chipperness into the conversation. You saw Kakashi’s shoulders lift as you stopped prying into his backstory. “You should be careful though.” Hook.

Kakashi looked confused. “What? Why?” Line.

“Because we won’t be able to tell if it gets in your hair, old man.” And Sinker.

Kakashi scowled and threw a dusting cloth at your face.

…

Kakashi warmed up again as you worked. It seemed to help him, having a job to focus on, and of course, you were doing your best to keep his spirits high as well.

And honestly, all the cleaning and mood management was well worth it to see his baby pictures! He didn’t have parents to show you, so you were taking it into your own hands. You avoided bringing attention to any that also contained his father, but there was still plenty to work with.

You squealed, pulling a photo of a tiny, grumpy Kakashi holding a freshly caught fish off the wall to dust. “Look how cute you were! You know how to fish? I’ll be honest, I didn’t imagine that as one of your skills.”

“Will you stop—” Kakashi said, plucking the picture from your hands and hanging back on the wall. “Do you have to put effort into being so nosy, or is it a natural born talent?”

“Completely natural.” You grinned and grabbed the photo back, giving it a quick dust and then putting it in the box of valuables, cooing all the while.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but you could see the pink dusting his ears.

“Hey, here’s a question.”

“Can’t you just dust?”

“Why was the outside of the house so immaculate, when the inside looks like it hasn’t been touched in a decade?” you asked, taping up one box and grabbing another empty one.

“I hire a groundskeeper for the outside, but I personally clean the inside.”

Your face spoke for itself as you looked around the room, still half-covered in dust. Kakashi sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “I haven’t done it for a couple of years, I admit.”

You laughed, grabbing the next photo to dust. It was another one of just Kakashi, although this time he was sitting behind a dog-shaped birthday cake, scowling at the camera.

“Did you ever smile?” you asked, holding up the photo. “Even now you don’t seem much better at it, always stone faced or rolling your eyes, do I have to teach you?”

You slid the photo under your arm so that your hands were free to push up Kakashi’s cheeks into a faux smile. You managed to hold his cheeks in a forced smile for a second, before Kakashi smacked your hands away, scowling. You sent him a cheeky grin, but he only yanked the photo out from under your arm and bent down to pack it away in a box.

What you did next, could hardly be held against you. You mean, it was right there, in all its glory: Kakashi’s toned but ample butt.

You pinched it.

Kakashi jumped before immediately standing and whirling around to face you. Your grin froze on your face as you noticed something intense flashing in his eyes, the kind of intense that promised revenge.

Oh, fuck.

You broke into a desperate run away from Kakashi, but he immediately gave chase. You ran around the coffee table and into the kitchen, thunderous footsteps sounding behind you. Your heart pounded and some hysterical giggles escaped as you ran through the second door in the kitchen, grateful that it wasn’t a dead end.

“Stop running and accept your fate!” Kakashi called from somewhere behind you.

“You’ll never take me alive!”

You ended up back in the living room, but you managed to catch Kakashi in a stalemate, with you standing behind the couch, and him standing in front of it. Every time he darted around one way, you went the other. You both stared at each other, watching for even the slightest hint of movement.

“If you give up now, I promise the punishment won’t be so bad,” Kakashi said with an unfairly attractive lilt.

“If you think I’m going to give in, then you’re as senile as the grey hair suggests, old man.” To further make your point, you gave him the middle finger. You weren’t really sure how this was going to end, because he would inevitably catch you, even if only because you arrived in his car, but you weren’t a quitter and you certainly didn’t surrender!

Kakashi chuckled, and then in a second, his whole body shot forward and the man leapt over the sofa towards you. You shrieked and continued running. Adrenaline pumping, you automatically ran towards the front door.

Unfortunately, all it took was one moment of weakness. There, in the doorway, you suddenly realised that you weren’t wearing shoes. You hesitated for only a moment, but that was all it took for Kakashi to catch up with you.

“Hidden technique: One Thousand Years of Death!”

There, in the doorway of Kakashi’s childhood home, you let out an ungodly screech as Kakashi’s fingers jabbed you in a place that you really didn’t want to be jabbed.

Your back arched and your butt cheeks clenched.

“You bastard!” you screamed, turning around to smack Kakashi’s chest. He was dying laughing, happily taking your smacks. “That wasn’t funny!”

“It was very funny,” Kakashi disagreed, moving backwards to dodge your smacks. “Although maybe not for the local wildlife; I think they might be traumatised after that screech.”

You huffed, gingerly rubbing your backside as you followed him back into the living room. “You know, you are completely and utterly— Woah!”

Midsentence, because this world was ridiculous, you slipped on a section of wet floor that you were 100% sure you had already dried. There was a split second of relief where Kakashi managed to catch you, before he also slipped on the floor, and both of you went crashing to the ground.

Kakashi hit the ground first, laying on his back, and you quickly followed, landing on top of him. Kakashi let out an oof noise as you knocked the air from his lungs.

It was the exact same thing as had happened with Itachi, except you were the one on top this time. Porn logic was just running out of ideas you thought, bitter at having been tripped on a wet floor that you had already dried.

‘Careful human,’ James interjected. ‘You do not wish you issue a challenge to porn logic, because in my experience, it does not take kindly to such things.’

‘Wait, really? What happens if I issue porn logic a challenge?’

‘The last alpha who did that… well, let’s just say that I doubt their penis was ever the same again.’

You loved porn logic. Porn logic had zero faults and you wanted to kiss it on the mouth, marry it even. It was just perfect in every way.

‘Good save, human.’

‘Thanks, James.’

“Are you going to get off me or are you just going to continue staring into space?” Kakashi’s voice jolted you from your conversation with James and you bashfully cleared your throat.

“Right, yes, of course, but I am going to use your tits as leverage to stand, just saying.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes, which seemed to be his go to response when he was in your presence but didn’t protest your grabbing at his chest.

You put your hands down and gave his chest a little squeeze, ooh, nice and squishy. You were about to push off him and into a standing position, when you felt something that wasn’t so nice and squishy.

In the inside pocket of his jacket was something hard, almost like a small book. Honestly, it wouldn’t have been notable at all if Kakashi hadn’t reacted. You would have assumed it to be some kind of paperwork or light reading, but Kakashi froze, and you’d seen more innocent expressions on kids caught with their hands in cookie jars.

“What’s that?”

“Paperwork.” Kakashi answered far too quickly for you to believe him for even a second.

“Well, if it’s only paperwork, then you won’t mind me having a look.” You grabbed the book out of his pocket, dodging his attempts to stop you. Your weight on top of him was keeping him pinned nicely, and moments later you had the book held triumphantly above your head.

“Now, let’s see,” you hummed, giving the book a look. It was a small yellow book, with large writing ‘Icha Icha’ over the top. The 18+ logo on the front was a damning piece of evidence. This was a porn book. How hilariously ironic.

“I can explain—”

“Kakashi!” you said, in a faux scandalised voice.

“I read it for the story!”

You hummed, considering his story, like a judge. Kakashi stared up at you, trying his best to be the picture of pure innocence, pleading with you to end the interrogation.

Obviously, you had no choice but to push things further.

“Well, I can understand that!” you said, chipper as ever.

Kakashi blinked, “You can? I mean, you can. Great, so if you could just give it back—"

“If the story is as good as you say it is, then I would love to give it a look!” Any hope that had started to bloom on Kakashi’s face died as soon as he registered your words. He tried to sit up, presumably to wrestle the book from you, but you used a knee to hold his chest to the ground. “Now, now, you wouldn’t be so cruel as to deprive me from such a great story, would you? If it’s good enough for you to be carrying around at work, it must be something special.”

Kakashi made another swipe for the book, but you simply held it above his reach. “I hate you. I hate you so much.”

“No, you don’t! Now, let’s see…” You flicked to a random page. “This page looks like a good place to start.” You cleared your throat. When it became obvious that you were about to do a dramatic reading, Kakashi groaned.

“You’re ridiculous, completely ridiculous. I should sue you for assault and theft.”

You ignored him, scanning the page. A feral grin blossomed on your face; it was perfect.

“Elisabeth grinned down at Makoto, hunger and lust warring for dominance in her eyes, reflecting the real life battle that Makoto had just lost. Makoto wondered what it would be like to have her mouth on his—” you gasped, clutching imaginary pearls. “Oh my, Kakashi, what are you reading?”

“I’m reporting you to HR.”

“Oh? And this” -you shifted your hips against his, watching as Kakashi hissed at the pressure on his rapidly rising cock- “is going to end up in the report too, I presume?”

Kakashi had no comment to make, but his rosy cheeks spoke loud and clear. You took that as an invitation to carry on reading. You skipped a few paragraphs to get to the really juicy bits.

“Elisabeth wrapped her hands around Makoto’s neck in a gentle mockery of a collar. Makoto bit his lip, overwhelmed by the imagery. He wanted her to own him, mind, body, and soul. But first, he needed his punishment. A punishment? How exciting! Do you remember what punishment Elisabeth is going to give to Makoto, Kakashi?” You rolled your hips again, delighting in the pleasured grunt you forced from him. Kakashi shook his head as a negative to your question, something you didn’t believe for one moment; the book was clearly well loved and had been read many times before.

You leant down over his pink face and gave him a chaste kiss. You saw his arms move and for a moment you assumed that he was going for the book, but he merely settled his arms on your hips before pushing his crotch up into yours. You hummed and kissed him again. He was such a brat.

“Makoto was forced to kneel at her feet. It was with eagerness that he anticipated the crack of her whips against his skin. He had been bad, he knew that, so he accepted his punishment with grace and also a raging boner. Ah, I see what you’re into. And just when I didn’t think you could be more cliché, the CEO is into BDSM.”

“And how many porn books are you reading to know that it’s cliché?”

“Change the subject all you want; you were the one caught with your proverbial trousers down.” Kakashi rolled his eyes. He seemed to have recovered from the minor embarrassment, because the light dusting of pink didn’t get any worse. You guessed it took more than that to embarrass someone who apparently caried porn around in their pocket of their work clothes. “Okay, okay, one more and then we can keep cleaning.”

You flipped through the book, trying for find the right scene to end it on. Hmm… Maybe you should let porn logic choose? It would probably know exactly what page to pick. You closed your eyes.

‘Porn logic, choose the page that will get the best reaction from Kakashi please!’

You flicked through the pages until you felt the overwhelming urge to stop, at which point you clamped your thumb down. You had landed on page 154.

To your immediate confusion, it didn’t look like it had any porn on it at all. It looked like it was just a sappy conversation between Elizabeth and Makoto. You debated picking another one, but after James’ warning about pissing off the porn logic, you decided to just trust it.

“Elisabeth, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say to you for a while, something important,” you read out loud. Kakashi let out a strangled noise as he realised what page you were on. His lightly pink face quickly deepened into an impressive red. Oh. So that’s how this was going to go.

“Fine, you win, can I have my book back now because—”

“What is it, Makoto? What could be so important that you called me here at this time?”

Kakashi whined, pressing his hands to his face. You had never seen him act like this before. You watched, fascinated, as you continued to read.

“Elisabeth… With all my heart, deeply and truly, I love you.”

Those final words were enough for Kakashi, because he easily broke out of your hold, knocking you off of him and onto the living room floor. Now free, he turned over onto his front and buried his face into his arms. You could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

It was as unexpected as it was adorable. You hoped this wonderful omega never stopped surprising you in the best way.

“Aww, Kakashi, I’m sorry,” you cooed, rubbing his back. “It’s okay to be a sap at heart, I won’t tell anyone! I want to keep this cute side of you to myself.”

Kakashi took a shaky breath before pushing himself into a sitting position. He was still bright red. “You are…”

“Are…?”

Kakashi gave you one of his eye smiles, reached out with a hand, and firmly flicked you on the forehead. “Annoying.”

It was such a weak attempt to restart the banter on a equal standing that you couldn’t hold your laughter in.

“You’re so pathetic,” you laughed, clutching at your stomach. “I love it.”

“So are you,” Kakashi said, pouting.

“I know, that’s why we’re perfect together!”

Slowly, Kakashi started to laugh too, joining your hysteria on the living room floor of his childhood home. You were leaning on each other, just completely lost in a weird joke that only you two could understand.

What a team you made. You really liked Kakashi. Honestly, you could say that you loved him at this point. He was just so fun to be around, fun to tease, fun to bite, everything. Being around him made you feel alive, and having money for everything you could ever need was only adding to how relaxed you had been feeling the whole time in this dimension.

You could see a very happy life here. You didn’t know if it was fortunate or unfortunate that you saw an equally happy life with Itachi. Your laughter petered out as you considered the impossible choice you were going to have to make.

The knowledge that no other person would ever enter this universe if you didn’t stay only made you feel guiltier. Was it worse to leave Kakashi alone forever, but with his money and friends, or leave Itachi with the possibility of another great love, but an equal possibility of being forced to settle with some awful person who just happened to die early and choose him?

You sighed, trying to put such heavy thoughts out of your mind for now.

Kakashi was watching you, a soft look on his face. His mask had slipped off at some point during the chase, so you could see his face unhindered. He was just watching you in silence.

You reached out a hand to cup his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I am,” he said, still staring at you like you were the centre of his world. “It’s just… it’s been a long time since there was laughter in this house.”

“I bet.” You smiled sadly and pressed a kiss to his forehead. His backstory was so sad that whenever you thought about it for too long, it hurt your heart. It had been easier to read at first, when he had just been some nebulous, kind of dickish, person on a Wikipedia page, but now he was Kakashi, your Kakashi… It hurt to imagine him suffering.

His father had committed suicide when he was only four, and then Kakashi had been raised by custodians, forced into business from a ridiculously early age, and then been betrayed by those who were supposed to look after him as soon as he came of age.

“Kakashi? Can I ask you a question?”

“You? Of course. Always.”

“Do you…” You struggled for a moment, thinking about how best to phrase the question. “Do you enjoy your work? Do you like business? Because from what I understand, you didn’t really get much of a choice.”

Kakashi seemed baffled that you would ask such a question. His mouth opened, but no sound came out.

“I�� like my job,” he said, entirely unconvincingly.

“What do you like about it?”

He didn’t answer. That didn’t surprise you.

“Did you ever get a chance to follow your own dreams?”

Kakashi blinked at you, looking lost. He swallowed heavily. You rubbed your thumb on his cheek to try and comfort him. You understood that for someone who had never been given a choice, your question might have been quite jarring.

“What are your dreams, Kakashi?”

He stared at you and shook his head, still silent.

“You don’t know?” You pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “It’s never too late to make dreams, Kakashi, remember that.”

“If you say so,” he said, trying and failing to keep a light-hearted tone. “We need to keep cleaning, you know, we’re burning daylight.”

You allowed the heavy-handed topic change to slid by without acknowledgment. “You’re right, come on, let’s get up. You’re buying me dinner tonight, by the way, as thanks for all this cleaning.”

He rolled his eyes, standing. “Fine, but I’m picking the restaurant, and I want it delivered.”

“Sounds good to me!”

…

You yawned, gratefully climbing into bed. This MC had invested in expensive sheets, and honestly you loved them for it. There was no better way to end a tiring workday than climbing into bed.

You couldn’t wait to either reject society and run off into the woods with Itachi or have a full-time profession as Kakashi’s eccentric trophy spouse. Work sucked.

You closed your eyes, and just as you were starting to drift off, your phone started to ring. Ugh.

You forced yourself awake. Your fake family and friends hadn’t even been invented yet, and you were already being bothered. You squinted at the caller ID. Oh, it was Kakashi. That was weird; he wasn’t a phone call person.

You answered the phone. “Hello? Kakashi? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I’m sorry for calling you.” His voice sounded strange. It was softer than usual, like his head was off in the clouds.

“That’s okay.” You waited for an explanation of his call, but none came. “Did you need something?”

“Yes, I… I was thinking about the Autumn Company Party and I…”

“Yes?”

“Do you think…” He stopped talking again. Something was off.

“Kakashi, you’re freaking me out. Please tell me what’s wrong?”

There was a pause. “Nothing, I’m sorry, I’m fine. Goodnight.”

“Kakashi—” You couldn’t get any more words out before he hung up the phone.

You sat there in bed, staring down at your call log, confused.

What on Earth had that been about?

Next chapter

[venerawrites]

i loved the sasuke before and after the war headcanons!! so i read them and i started thinking what would it be like with naruto?

so, if you’re not too busy, i would like to ask for something similar but with a twist 🥺 headcanons for naruto before/after the war but with a s/o that used to be part of akatsuki (for x reason lmao) and, before they departed the village, used to be really close friends with naruto.

thank you and sorry for my english, it is not my first language!

author's note: I am a SUCKER for Naruto x rogue ninja (if you have been here for a while, you definitely know that one post) so I can't even pretend I didn't scream a bit when I got your request! I've been thinking of writing short Naruto x rogue ninja mini series for a long, long time, so I am happy to finally get to explore this dynamic a bit more. Thank you for sending me the idea and I really hope you like it! <3

BEFORE THE WAR

Naruto always thought he can face anything - after all he somehow managed to keep his good heart and remain hopeful for a brighter future, despite facing loneliness and hatred so early in life. Even when his teammate, and who he also thought to be his best friend, left his home in order to pursue more power, the Uzumaki never allowed his spirit to go down.

But there was a first time for everything and Naruto was about to learn that the hard way.

He met his s/o shortly after he started the academy. They were a transfer student from one of the small distant villages and just like him, they found themselves labelled as an 'outsider' pretty quickly by the other kids.

Naturally, being the only two "rejects" brought them together and it didn’t take long for them to become inseparable .

Naruto was a loud, bright and confident. His s/o, on the other hand, was shy, insecure and often, pessimistic. Yet, their opposites balanced each other so well, that soon they were spending every single day together.

But when Naruto left to train with Jiraiya, their friendship really started to crack. Despite the first few months of exchanging letters, the bond they once shared started to rapidly weaken and it didn't take long for it to crumble altogether. One day all the letters just stopped and all that was left was silence.

The moment he walked through the village doors, 3 years later, his first thought was to see his s/o. But when he stood in front of the place, where their house once was, watching the ruins, he thought he was trapped in a nightmare. One which got worse once Kakashi and Sakura told him that his s/o left the village a few months after him and has joined the Akatsuki.

At the beginning, he couldn't believe it. This had to be either a misunderstanding or very, very tasteless prank, because the person he knew and loved would NEVER do that.

After the shock, came a storm of emotions. The first one was anger - how could they do something like this? And why?

The second one was disappointment. For a second time Naruto was abandoned by someone close to him, but this time it hurt more. He spend weeks on end locked in his house, without eating or showering, just staring at the ceiling while he wondered what went wrong. Could it be different if he never left? Was this somehow his fault?

After many long talks with Kakashi, Sakura and Shikamaru, who all visited him quite often to bring groceries and force him to take care of himself, came the determination. He had to bring them back, no matter what it was going to cost him.

He would take mission after mission in hope to cross paths with his s/o. It didn't help that he was still actively pursuing Sasuke as well, resulting in him being away for months with barely any rest between his travels.

Their first encounter finally came during Gaara's rescue. And if it wasn't for Kakashi, Naruto would've probably lost his life because of it.

Naruto may resort to violence sometimes, especially when trying to knock some sense into Sasuke's head, but when it comes to his s/o, he can't even lift a finger in their direction. So the whole time during their fight, he kept a defensive position, using the brief moments of rest to try and talk to his s/o and convince them to come back with him to Konoha.

Unfortunately for him, however, they were not the shy and insecure person anymore. Each one of his pleads was met with brutal attack, aiming to get him to stop talking and finally fight them.

Having the person you love most in the world turn against you without an obvious reason hurt. A LOT.

When he finally get the chance to get close to his s/o, he would block their attack before gripping their arms and pressing their thrashing body against his in almost a suffocating hug. He would cry and plead for them to stop, to just come back with him and that he would protect them no matter what.

That moment of vulnerability almost costed his life, as he failed to notice his s/o grabbing a kunai from inside their cloak and swinging it behind his back. Luckily, Kakashi saw it and pulled him away before the weapon can touch him.

Despite seeing how changed his s/o is and how much resentment they held for him now, he wouldn't give up. Just like with Sasuke, he would continue to relentlessly pursue them, trying his best to convince them to come back.

In front of the others he would try to maintain his usual cheerful and carefree persona, but all the people around him would notice the subtle changes - the way he seems to avoid human interaction unless having a mission; the amount of weight he lost; the way his smile never seem to reach his eyes anymore.

Only he would know through how much pain he was going during his private moments - he would often sit in the shower till the water runs cold, replaying all the memories he had made with his s/o; he would sleep less and less, wondering what went wrong and what did he do to deserve their hate. He would often cry, letting out all the emotions he couldn't share in front of others.

Would probably meet his s/o only a handful of times before the war - and each time it would finish the same way their first one did. He would plead with them, they would charge at him, a third person would have to intervene before things get out of control.

I definitely see a final battle (almost like a final showdown) during the war, the ONE which would finally put a stop to this circle of unresolved feelings, heartache and hatred. And while Naruto would initially be reluctant to fight against them, seeing them taking the side of the enemy, he knows he has no choice but to put the duty toward the village before his heart's wishes.

AFTER THE WAR

I mentioned this when I wrote the headcanons for Sasuke, but I really want to emphasize that I've never seen Boruto, but from what I heard and read about it, I don't really like the OG characters development. So this is just my interpretation of what type of partner Naruto would be...

I imagine that during the final battle his s/o would finally open up about the reason they joined Akatsuki and how Naruto leaving played a big part into it. And while the battlefield is obviously not the best place to have THIS talk, he would make sure to corner his s/o afterwards.

As they will be imprisoned (at least for a while) after the war, Naruto would pretty much corner them into talking it out - he would visit them every single day and push for answers.

At first, he would be frustrated. He understands his s/o's reasons for leaving, but at the same time in his mind he would never, ever do something like this.

It would take a few days of long talks till he finally grasp what they must be feeling after he left and while he is not really the one to blame, he would feel extremely guilty. He would still visit his s/o every day, bringing them books, sometimes fruits and sweets, before leaving almost at night.

Needless to say he will be the BIGGEST advocate for their release at their trial.

Do I think Naruto would still pursue his dream to be a Hokage? Absolutely!

HOWEVER, I don't think it would last very long - not only because it involves a lot of administrative work (which Naruto finds very boring and in no way I can imagine him actually doing it), but also because at this time his relationship with his s/o, who would be a already free, would start to blossom again.

I imagine his s/o would like to travel - not so much for redemption, but to discover themselves - and I think Naruto would like to join at least for some of the journeys. After so many years apart, he doesn't want to face the risk of his s/o disappearing from his life once again.

As he is very passionate and emotional guy, I think he would forgive and forget pretty easily and fast. It would take more time for his s/o to accept their mistakes and their past, before feeling ready for a real relationship.

To sum it up... FRIENDS to ENEMIES to FRIENDS to LOVERS... but isn't that the perfect romance trope? 👀

cc artwork: Kleiner Hai

[otakubimbo]

The Rabbit and The Wolf

I love you????

Kakashi confessed to you and now you must deal with your feelings while going on a mission with him. How's that gonna go?

MDNI. MATURE CONTENT.

Ch 1 2 3 4 5 6

master list

OBnote: Please don't hate me, I know I said this would come out a lot sooner but I'm just a girl????

It takes you a moment to really register everything that is going on and then the panic starts. . You’re completely flustered, mouth agape but no words can be formed. You don’t know what to do. You don’t know what to say, what could you say?

“I’m sorry for being a coward,” he says still holding your gaze strongly and you can’t do anything else but nob, eyes glossing over as if you were going to cry.

Your childhood best friend said he was currently in love with you. He confessed that he was currently in love with you and has been since that night after your sister's wedding. Before you could even try to wrap your mind around everything that was going on, his face started leaning down towards yours as he went to pull his mask down. Now it was your time to be the coward, you had never made hand signs faster in your life to get the fuck out of there.

Kakashi sighs at the emptiness in front of him. He didn’t really know what to expect from you after his confession and attempt at kissing you. Well, he didn’t expect you would just vanish, maybe yell a little, or be mad and confused. Anything other than disappearing completely. He did see the panic in your eyes before you decided to vanish, but it felt good to finally be honest with you. Above all you were a professional, so he had no doubts in his mind about the success of the mission. He just didn’t know what was going to happen between the two of you now that you knew how he felt that he had been feeling this way for years and never had the guts to confront his feelings for you. There was only one person he could talk to about this, and it was your sister. With a heavy sigh, he turns and makes his way back to the hospital to explain the situation to your sister.

After pouring his heart for the second time today, your sister couldn’t help but chuckle at the two of you. She didn’t expect such a development to occur today, but it was so cute seeing the two of you both flustered over each other, Kakashi more upfront about his feelings than you were currently.

“I did not expect her to be so dramatic, even though, “she begins as she holds back another laugh that was brewing at the imagine of you just pooling away in front of him, “it's not her first time being dramatic”

Kakashi wasn’t as amused by your behavior as it seems your sister was, he really didn’t know what to do at that moment. He had never been good at love or feelings, especially when it came to you. And now here sat the great Kakashi Hatake, the copycat ninja pouting in front of your sister over you. She couldn’t help but find it amusing. “Oh, don’t be like that. I’m sure it was a lot for her to hear that from you. She panicked, be it dramatically but I know she feels the same about you as you do about her.”

Her words don’t do anything to relieve his stress over this situation. He just poured his heart out to you, confessing something that he had held onto for a year, and you didn’t even respond, just left.

“Y'all have been in love with each other since your first Anbu missions together. You know I’ve always said that you two would get married. She just got a little panicked and ran, you know she takes after our dad.” Your sister chuckled to herself; you

were your father's daughter. Emotions get too much, time to cut and run. That’s part of the reason you became one of the youngest Anbu’s along with Kakashi, you put all your emotions into training instead of into the death of your mother.

Kakashi knew your sister was right but that didn’t stop all the negative thoughts that were occupying his brain. You on the other hand were probably in worse shape, pacing back and forth in Kurenais' living room.

“What am I going to do?” You ask mainly for yourself. Your friend is trying to keep her composure and not laugh at you. Anyone could have seen this coming, especially you the signs were all there especially more recently but here you were pacing in her house like it was all a surprise that man was in love with you.

“You could tell him that you feel the same.” She offers which makes you stop in your tracks to stare at her as if she had just grown a second head.

“That’s insane” You comment before continuing to pace. Again, she tries not to laugh at you.

You were so dramatic, it’s so obvious that you’re both in love with each other. Why were you making this so difficult for yourself?

“No, that’s usually what happens when two people are in love with each other.”

You freeze again but don’t look at her this time. Just thinking. Were you in love with him? The memory of your almost kiss flashes through your mind. The soft expression on his face, the warmth in his hands, his subtle shyness as he was bringing his face to yours, the fact that at that moment you really wanted him to kiss you. And you were sober, stone-cold sober. Nope nope nope. You shake those thoughts out of your head.

“Insanity” is all you say as you continue pacing. Your friend just sighs, shaking her head as she watches you. She does stop you eventually.

“Okay how about you go get some training in to take your mind off it, yeah? You’re going to drive yourself actually insane and me also with all this pacing back and forth.”

“Yeah alright, great idea. I’m gonna punch some shit.” You say immediately making your way to the door. Once you leave, Kurenai just sighs, you were hopeless truly but what is she to do?

The dummy targets you set up didn’t stand a chance as you started throwing punches at them. There was too much adrenaline going through you currently to not destroy them into tiny fragments with just one hit. Your thoughts are racing as you punch your way through the setup. Kakashi was in love with you. Punch. You think you may also be in love with him. Punch. This felt like a mistake. Kick. Each thought was accompanied by a strike to a dummy.

Amid your thought process, you feel someone sneaking up on you. On reflex, you appear behind them with a kunai to their neck. Realizing who it was, you immediately relaxed and let them go. It was Sasuke.

“What are you doing baby Uchiha? I could have killed you.”

“Glad to see you’re not rusty” He comments rubbing at his throat, there is a small cut there now. Not enough to bleed but it stings. Your hands move to your hips at his deflection, mildly annoyed at his presence during your session.

“What are you doing here Sasuke? It’s late and we have a mission tomorrow.” You scold him. His hands are in pockets not directly looking at you.

“Do you like Kakashi sensei?” He asks and you're taken aback, there is absolutely no reason he should have asked you that.

“You’ve been really nosy today. Off brand” You joke to deflect his accusatory question.

“I went to your house to see if you could train me today since training was canceled.” He begins, face growing red as he speaks. “So, I thought you may be visiting your sister and was going to ask if you could after you were done.”

You stand there confused for a moment as he speaks and then the realization starts to hit you. Why did you choose to have that conversation with that man in such a public place you do not know? You weren’t thinking at the time, and it didn’t seem as if anyone was actually around especially not caring about the conversation the two of you were having. Or so you thought. You attempt to keep your composure, realizing exactly where this conversation is headed.

“I saw you two.”

“And we were just talking. That’s what friends do, kid.” You say ruffling his hair hoping that’s all he saw.

“Yeah but then I saw him try to kiss you and then you dis – “Your hand cuts him off, slamming it against his mouth to get him to stop talking.

“What is up with you and being so damn nosy baby Uchiha.” You say as you choose to not remove your hand from his mouth. In response, he licks your hand once you don’t remove it forcing you to remove your hand from his mouth. Your face scrunches up in disgust at the action.

“That was disgusting and childish. You’ve been hanging out with Naruto too much.” You wipe your hand off on the grass.

“Don’t compare me to that loser.” He huffs at you.

“Then don’t do shit like that kid”

“You’re trying to ignore what I said I saw” He counters. You sigh, squeezing the bridge of your nose between your fingers, wishing he would just drop the topic.

“Why does it even matter? Especially to you.” You ask exasperated.

“Because I care about you, you’re basically the only family I have left and then you left for two years only visiting on the occasion. Kakashi sensei really helped me out a lot while you were gone. You don’t know how much I missed you.” He confesses, his fists are balled up at his side in tension.

“Oh Sasuke” you say before pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry” He barely reciprocates your hug, fist still balled, stiff in your arms. It takes a few moments before his body relaxes into you, taking comfort in the warmth he hasn’t felt in what felt like forever.

“Stop this is embarrassing” He complains pushing you away, once he realizes how much he was enjoying the hug “It’s just after seeing that it just kind of made sense. The way you two look at each other. Ya know. I just thought you would be happier. I want you both to be happy.”

Sasuke was never one to directly tell you how he felt, he was more of an action kind of kid. He always wanted to maintain that brooding personality as if nothing phased him

You sigh, giving him a soft smile, “Thank you for caring about my happiness. That means a lot coming for you Sasuke. It really does.” You pause before continuing, “But it's all just really complicated at this point.”

He scoffs at your response, “Seems simple to me”

“If only it were.” You sigh again, placing your hand on the top of his head. He was so thoughtful, he really reminded you a lot of his brother. The good parts of him, of course. “Come on, it's late. You can stay at my place tonight like when you were just a little baby boy” you tease pinching his cheeks. He hits your hand grumbling but agrees to join you. Maybe Sasuke was right. Maybe it was all that easy. You just didn’t really know how you felt, it was all too much to think about. So many years of unanswered questions, pushed back feelings, all so much. At your house, you set him up on the couch, making him a hot chocolate like old times. Times when things were so much simpler.

The next morning, you wake Sasuke up and he is not too pleased, he’s always been like this, and it brings a gentle smile to your face because he’s still that same kid not at all a morning person. He complained the whole time saying that being early is not being on time, it's just being early. It took some effort to drag him out of your house. Once you finally get to the meet-up spot, he finds a spot under a tree to take a nap before everyone is expected to arrive, he is exhausted. You take a seat next to him and sharpen your swords, this should have been something you did yesterday, but you were a bit distracted for obvious reasons. Eventually, Naruto and Sakura show up, perfectly on time which Naruto surprises you.

“Why is Sasuke-Kun sleeping?” Sakura asks concern written all over her face.

“Oh. I just knocked him out before y’all got here” you say casually trying not to laugh as her jaw drops and she screams waking up the boy next to you.

“OMG SASUKE YOU’RE OKAY” Sakura screams, obviously irritating Sasuke more. Which just makes you fight another giggle that was threatening to escape your lips “y/n sensei said she knocked you out before we got here!”

“Yeah!” Naruto chimes in just as loud.

“No, she didn’t you idiots, I was just tired because she decided to wake me up so early for us to be here.” He complains staring daggers at you which you just laugh off.

“HAHA, y/n sensei had to go to your house to wake you up” Naruto teases.

“Oh no, he stayed the night last night.” You say casually and Naruto’s jaw drops, and Sakura falls backward in complete shock at the thought of what could have been going on in your house with just you and Sasuke last night.

“Why does Sasuke get to spend the night at your house and not me? “Naruto whines.

“Because she doesn’t like you, loser” Sasuke replies as he takes a stand, stretching out from his short nap.

“That’s not true. Be nice.” You say putting your swords up, “It was just circumstantial, and he used to spend the night all the time when he was little.” You ruffle Naruto’s hair.

“Well, next time I’m coming.” Naruto declares.

“Absolutely not” Sasuke argues back as they continue to debate over who can and can’t stay at your own house.

You just laugh and check on Sakura, who was just sitting there in a daze what could possibly be going through her head, “You good?”

“yes, I was just having thoughts,” She says with a glazed expression. You were afraid to ask what her thoughts were. Sasuke and Naruto continue to argue about who was allowed to stay at your house or not and you couldn’t help but laugh at them. It was music to Kakashi’s ears as he walked up on the scene, he loved hearing you laugh. You feel his presence behind you, automatically turning to face him mid laughter and his step falters a bit. Now that he’s admitted to you and himself that he was in love with you, everything you did was magical and breathtaking. He was allowing himself to feel for you openly and it was as if he was seeing you for the first time.

“Nice for you to arrive” You gently smile at him, trying your best to act as normally as possible but looking at him made your heart start to race.

One of his arms goes to the back of his head, as he makes that cocky smile he always does when he’s late “Sorry had to help a cat get out of a tree.”

“You’re a liar Kakashi sensei” Sakura states pointing at him, which he just chuckles at amused.

When the group is ready to leave, the kids lead the way. Kakashi walks next to you, keeping your slower pace. You had never been on a mission with a Team before that wasn’t as equally capable as you, you didn’t want anything to happen to team 7, so you were keeping on high alert. You haven’t seen them in actual combat, so you just wanted to keep focused in case anything happened. Kakashi could tell you were tense, watching your eyes scan the surroundings. This was exactly how you acted on your first mission with him, expecting the worst to happen at a moment's notice. Serious. Quiet. Focused.

“We don’t have anything to worry about on the way there. It’s not like we are escorting documents. It’ll be fine. They’re capable. I’ve trained them. You’ve trained them” He comments hoping to ease some of your worry and your stance relaxes a bit at the thought.

“Sorry,” You mutter, attempting to take some of your guard down despite it being so second nature.

“No problem, I remember when you used to get like this during our first missions when we were young.”

“We? I’m still young. You’re the old one” you point out. He scoffs at you.

“you’re the one who keeps calling them kids.”

“They are kids, I’m just an older kid” you laugh when he shoves into you. You and Kakashi lock eyes for a moment, his gaze softening as he looks at your face.

“Glad you’re here,” he says gaze still locked on yours, soft, loving which makes you immediately break eye contact, feeling your body heating up from the subtle intimacy.

“Well ya know I have a mission to complete, and I have an impeccable record to keep up. Never missed or failed a mission.” You’re trying to stay casual as you twirl a kunai under your finger, ignoring the way your breath is hitching and your heart is beating.

“Yeah, you are perfect.” He states plainly, hands in his pockets. The statement makes you trip over your own feet, “Careful” he teases enjoying the way he was starting to affect you and you just scowl at him not appreciating him trying to mess with you.

Up ahead of y’all, Sakura leans slower to Sasuke and whispers “Did Kakashi sensei take this mission just to flirt with y/n sensei?”

Sasuke looks back to see you trying to hold in laughter, hitting his other sensei playfully.

He shrugs as if the sight doesn’t make him happy, “Seems so I guess, I don’t know or care.”

“But I thought you two were close,” Sakura says confused at his nonchalant attitude.

“Yeah, like a sister and the last thing I care about is her love life,” he says before taking a glance back at you and Kakashi, you are both smiling and laughing at each other as you walk.

“Well, I think they would make a cute couple,” Sakura says

“Wait, y/n sensei and Kakashi sensei are dating?” Naruto says louder than the group wants him to.

“Stop being so loud!” Sakura yells as she hits him in the head. He yelps in pain.

That sound immediately catches your attention, and your hand instinctively goes to your blades then settle as you see they’re just arguing with each other.

“It gets easier” Kakashi mentions at your defensiveness, his instincts since long settled from being so reactionary.

“Oh? You’re inviting on more missions with your team?” You ask coyly, trying to make a joke out of it.

“Absolutely but you know if you ever get your own team.” He says earnestly. You thought about it before shaking your head.

“Nah, I think I’ll leave that responsibility to you.”

“You would be good at it though. You’re good at it now.” He replies as he fixes his gaze on you. The look in his eye you knew he meant it which made you even more flustered.

Time to deflect how you’re feeling, “I don’t think so. I’m more of the lone WOLF type. Ya know”

“Now who’s the comedian” he snorts.

The rest of the way to the village was nice, team 7 arguing about whatever is in front of you two as you talk casually, laughing and joking. It was nice, it felt normal, like old times, once there, you need to find lodging for the night, so you go to the nearest inn.

“Oh, I’m sorry, we are basically all booked for the night due to the festival. We only have two rooms.” The innkeeper says to you as you asked for three rooms. Before you could even make a comment Sasuke interjects.

“That should be fine right? The three of us in one room and the sensei’s in another room.” He says casually, yet he knew exactly what he was doing. You couldn’t even get out a glare before Sakura jumped for joy agreeing. And then, still unable to speak, the innkeeper starts.

“Oh, that’s wonderful I’m glad we can accommodate you.” She says as she leaves to get the keys. If looks could kill, Sasuke would be dead twice. You wrap your arm around Sasuke's shoulder in a playful manner bending down to whisper in his ear.

“I’m going to kill you” you whisper in his ear.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” he says as he removes your arm from his shoulder. The damn brat, you were going to choke him later for this. You take a step back while the lady gets the keys to your rooms.

“Is this okay with you?” Kakashi asks just into your ear, sending shivers down your spine

“it’s fine” You say not even turning to him because yeah sharing a room with the man who is in love with you that you may or may not be in love with is totally just fine with you. “It’ll be like old times” you attempt to be nonchalant about it but then remember what happened the last time you shared a room. Fuck.

“As long as its good with you” He says before reaching and taking the key from the lady. It was late so you wished the team a good night, which means it was time for the actual mission. Your mind solely focused on the mission, so focused you didn’t even realize that you were changing right in front of Kakashi before you were already dressed.

“What?”You ask as you can feel his stare on you as you pull your mask from your bag, turning to then realize you just were ass naked in front of him. “I’m sorry” you blurt out almost instantly when the thought came to your head. “I wasn’t even thinking. Just was trying to get ready”

“oh no no no no” He begins waving his hand in front of him, “I wasn’t even looking or anything. Just –“ He states trying to think of something that made sense “Haven’t seen you in your anbu gear in so long, brings back memories.”

Your brain decides to believe him even though a part of you doesn’t, you give him a small smile. “It does bring back memories huh?” You say as you place your ask on the side of your head, the rabbit side eyeing him. “Wanna make a bet?” You ask playfully.

He smirks back at you, forgetting the awkwardness that just occurred “ what are we waging?”

“Hmmn, whoever wins gets the bed” you state, proud of your answer. It was very much like old times. You slide your mask down over your face, “Deal?”

He does the same, extending a hand for you to shake, “Deal”

The bet was simple, whoever gets to the scroll first wins. People think because you’re going in as a team that it’s best to stick together but that’s not the case. Especially a stealth mission, cause if someone gets cause the other person has the opportunity to finish the mission. So, the both of you separated, he went from the back and you went from the front. You weaved through the corridors, it was surprisingly quiet. This made your suspicious on high, you couldn’t even feel any chakra around you. Once you peak around the corner, you see exactly why there was no one the room was sealed. Luckily, unsealing was a specialty of yours but there were so many seals it was going to be annoying. Eventually you completed all of the seals with no sign of Kakashi, you were going to win this bet. Or so you thought until you say the white haired bastard coming through the window of the room.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” you huff in defeat. Luckily, you couldn’t see the smug smile that Kakashi had on his face as you threw a mini tantrum. “You were just waiting for me to unseal the room weren’t you?”

“Oh the room was sealed?” He asked in mock surprise, which made your scrunch up your face in a pout under your mask. “It does seem you’ve lost your touch, it used to take you far less time to unseal a room.” If only he could see you roll your eyes but he could see you flip him off.

It was no work finding the scroll after that. But now what about the bet?

No winner. A tie between the two of you since technically you both did reach the scroll at the same time regardless of him using your own skills to his advance. Now here you were back in the room with no compromise of sleeping arrangements. With that thought in your head you rush to the bathroom to shower first. You made sure to scrub your body throughly it’s not like you were planning on doing anything tonight. You were definitely not doing anything tonight but you didn’t want to stink of anything. Your brain was doing its best to relax itself as you finished your shower and slipped into your pajamas. Thank the heavens that you actually brought real pajamas instead of the oversized shirts that you usually wear. Kakashi went in right after you, not waiting for any conversation on sleeping arrangements.

As you waited for him to exit the bathroom, you couldn’t help but fiddle with your weapons, it was a nervous habit you had. It happened on the way there and it was even worse now, your nerves unsteady with what the night could entail. You felt like a damn teenager with your first boyfriend, it shouldn’t be this nerve wrecking. It was just sleeping in the same bed with him, nothing more than that. Well yeah, tell that to your stupid heart that was beating so fast and loudly in your ears that you just knew it could be heard from outside your chest.

Once he came out of the bathroom, he noticed your frazzled state, a wave of concern came over him. He could only guess what has got you in this state, sharing a bed with him but he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know where your head was at.

“You alright?” His voice held such a soft tone of concern for you, yet and still your head snapped up at the sound of his voice. Your hands immediately stop fiddling with your weapons, the look on Kakashi face was of concern. He didn’t have his mask on and his visible frown took you back for a moment. You used to see his face all the time but it’s never held such a softness and concern for you as it did right now and if it did before your brain couldn’t think of a time to remember.

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine, I just guess….” You begin before looking away from him, “since no one won the bed, we just have to share the bed.” You’re hoping your voice sounds as strong as possible but you know it doesn’t. Kakashi doesn’t think he’s every heard you speak so nervously.

“Are you fine with that?” He asks hesitatingly, you looked like you were going to run back to Konaha at any moment. “I can just sleep on the couch, it’s fine. It’s not like I haven’t slept in worse places.”

“No, really it’s fine. Neither of us should be sleeping on the couch when there’s a bed available.” You say with a shrug. The cot that should have gone to your room, you had to give it up to the kids since it only had two beds. You quickly lay in the bed before you could change your mind, pulling the covers over you. Kakashi carefully gets in the other side, back towards yours. There’s a comfortable silence between y’all, that you feel the need to break.

“I missed going on missions with you, that was too easy” You say not bothering turning around to face him while you speak.

“it wasn’t that easy because you didn’t beat me” He teases which makes you turn over to face his back poking it.

“First of all, we were in and out. But if I brought up the fact that you had less obstacles than me, you’d be sleeping on the floor. I’m literally the one who unsealed the room!”

He turns to you when you poke him again after his statemen, a small smile gracing his face as you pout at him.

“I missed this. I missed you” He confesses and yet again your brain turns off. You hated this new characteristic of yours, every time he did something it just made your heart race and your thoughts jumble.

All you manage to get out was “Kashi”, your mouth not being able to form any other coherent words. Somehow you can see the way he’s looking at you even in the dark, you could FEEL the way he was looking at you. You want to disappear again, but you can’t, so you think of the second-best thing.

“I think I’m tired.” You abruptly say before turning over hiding your face. Kakashi sighs inwardly realizing he may have pushed a little too far too soon with you, you weren’t rejecting him, you weren’t pushing him away but you were trying to run, run from your feelings, run from him. Maybe your sister was right about you after all.

It took everything in you to force yourself to go to sleep, you could at least escape this situation in your dreams. In the midst of your sleep, you woke up briefly to get yourself rejected in bed. There’s a warmth underneath you that is trying to bring you back into your deep sleeps. Slowly though, you realize what’s going on lland the position you were in as you raise your head out of sleep. It took all your strength to not immediately jump out of the bed, you take in your own form, your arm and leg were thrown over Kakashi as his arm held onto your back in a cuddling manner. You thought about moving off of him, out of his grip, until you saw. His face. He was much like you in the way that he was always on alert for something but the look he had on his features right now was one of pure relaxation. He was relaxed and you realized that you had been relaxed too. What would be the harm in staying in this position, you would be the only one who knew that you knew. You could enjoy this secret for yourself, you think as you lay your head back on his chest snuggling in. Soon enough, you were peacefully back to sleep but little did you know that in your moments of contemplation Kakashi in fact did wake up. He studied your face through half open eyes as he could see a discussion in your head until laying back down into him. Kakashi couldn’t be more at peace as he felt you snuggle in all your consciousness back into him.

taglist: @smarsd @ferretsqueen @yellowflashof-theleaf

[javiersprincess]

tags: fluff, comfort, allusions to kakashi’s backstory, fem reader - no warnings. @allright​ wrote this with u in my little mind...for ur joy and pleasure

synopsis: the thunder wakes kakashi up, good thing he has you there to bring him back to sleep.

A faint clap of thunder

Clouded Skies

Perhaps rain comes

If so, will you stay here with me?

 The gentle rumble of rain woke Kakashi up from the rare sleep he gets. A lazy dark eye turned to look out the small window of your apartment, high above the streets of Konoha. Sighing, he rose to get up from the bed, only to be stopped by the warm arm of the dormant body that lay next to him, Huffing a slight, quiet laugh he gazed fondly at the mess of hair that splayed out against the white of the pillow. It was you, with some stuffed bear from childhood you just can’t get rid of tucked away in your right arm and your left arm wrapped around his waist as you slept peacefully through the pitter-patter of the rain above him. 

He felt the involuntary wave of affection flow down his back, seeping into the scars that marred his skin and seeping down, down into his bones. Gently he reached over and tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear so he could gaze at your sleeping face undisturbed. He moved his hand, rough and calloused from years of training and fighting, and stroked the soft skin of the plush of your cheeks.

So soft.

Despite being significantly stronger than his smaller bunkmate as he liked to call you, Kakashi decided to return to where he was before, underneath the sheets and in your unrelenting arm. Now that he had returned to the position where he once was he felt the warmth seep back into his body, sighing sweetly as he admired the sleeping face next to him. He found himself, recounting the small details of their romance, how they met in the summer at a farmers market, and you buying large, sweet apples that you had offered to him after locking eyes. He didn’t need to think hard to remember what you had worn that day too, he recounted sweetly, a peachy sundress that landed at your knees and showed the soft skin of an unblemished, sloping neck. Or when you had met his ninja hounds for the first time, how you cooed and coddled all of them, especially Bull, the largest dog reduced to a panting tail-wagging puppy under your pets, and kisses to his short, dark snout.

So cute.

 Kakashi, brought out his musing when he felt a familiar small hand gripped at his dark shirt, tugging him closer. Looking down he smiled at the sight of you, with your bear pulled tightly into your chest and cheek now pressing against his shoulder. Nuzzling into the strong muscle of his bicep, he chuckled softly before raising his arm and wrapping it around your sleeping form. You let out a soft sigh and now nestled your head on his chest, smiling contentedly. He let his hand continue to make its way down the soft fuzz of your pajamas, simply losing himself in the comfort of the action.

So mine.

"Kakashi? Why are you awake?" he heard your sleepy voice ask. He hummed and scratched your scalp.

"Did I wake you up?" Huffing, you got up, wiping your eyes with the backs of your hands.

 "You're deflecting. What woke you up?" you looked up at him, resting against your headboard with your fluffy pillows next to his head. He smiled down at you, the way his eyes crinkled telling you right away as he gently took in your features, sweetened from sleep and drowsiness. He turned to the window and eyed the heavy rain.

"The thunder woke me up." Was the simple answer from the silver-haired man. You pouted and rose up to meet him, nuzzling underneath his jaw, soft hair tickling his skin. He laughs quietly at your affection, it’s what endeared him the most to you - how sweetly you present the adoration in your heart to him as if serving him his favorite food on a plate. 

How could he not indulge?

“Hey, hey you’re worse than Bull when I summon him when you’re here.” Kakshi teases, voice still rough from his short-lived sleep and he’s rewarded by your faint, sleepy laugh. His hand comes to your head, fingers cradling through the strands to meet your scalp, and begins to massage. It is Kakashi’s turn to laugh at how you instantly slump against, head scratches and massages have always been your number one weakness - he does well to exploit it.

“You’re such a cheat,” you mumble, eyes blinking away sleep as you try to stay up to talk to him.

“Hm? Now, why would you say such a thing - what could I possibly be cheating at?” He asks, voice light as he puts more pressure on the back of your head and laughs when you moan softly at the feeling.

“Cuz - I’m trying to make you feel better and you’re distracting me with head massages.” You pout, eyes now closed and cheek to his chest as he watches you, eyes crinkled in amusement to the point he wonders if you are the sole reason why he’ll get crow’s feet later in life.

“This is making me feel better - besides, is it really cheating if you know what it is I’m doing?”

“Ugh, quit trying to play games with me - you just admitted something is wrong by the way.” You point out and he shakes his head in bubbly amusement. Only you can make him so honest to the point he didn’t even notice himself.

“Guess spending your time with a shinobi is making you smarter after all, huh?” Kakashi teases, voice light to try to throw you off in some last-ditch effort to keep you off the trail. Your face is buried into his neck, and you press soft little kisses to the skin - it’s one of the rare nights where he wears a looser shirt than he usually does and you do your best to take advantage of it.

“Maybe hanging around a civilian like me has made you dumber.” You counter back, it makes him laugh a little hollowly at your jab.

“I just had a nightmare that night, in Kiri.” Is all he says and you know what he is speaking of - that night of horror that haunts him all too well and you find yourself knowing there isn’t much you can do to cure him of such an ailment. If you could, you would endure the horror to keep Kakashi from suffering such a dark turn of fate.

“You should have just told me,” You mutter, reaching up to play with his hair in turn knowing it was just as much his weakness as your own. He hums, leaning back down and letting his hand fall from your head to rest at the apex of your shoulders.

“It would have just worried you.” He says, letting one dark eye close shut at your gentle ministrations on his scalp similar to his. 

“I worry about you regardless - you’re kind of stupid in case you haven’t noticed.” You scoff that takes a tired laugh straight from his chest. Yes, he supposes he is a little stupid at times especially when it concerns you.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” He says, voice soft and lidded with distractions as he lets you maneuver him as you like. Where before he was on top, now you were and you pushed his face into your chest until his ear was pressed to where it is your heart rested and beats. In the past such a position made him break out into a fever-like flush and while Kakashi likes to pretend he is cool in the head, even after all this time he still isn’t immune to how you press him so close to the soft curves of your body like he was born for you.

“There is nothing I could do to change the past for you, no matter how much I wish I could. But sleep easy tonight, now I am here and my heart beats for you Kakashi. Let’s go back to bed.” You profess, claim, and speak so softly - it’s almost as if each word you speak was so lovingly crafted for his ears alone he only nods and lets you hold him tight against you. Kakashi on some level feels a bit bad for your childhood stuffed bear - it seems he has replaced it. He lets an arm come to wrap around your waist, just as yours was earlier in the night.

“Will you be here when I wake up? This isn’t some dream?” Kakashi asks into the softness of your body and you wonder if he can hear how your heart breaks at such a question. You do well to keep your voice steady, suffering is like his mother - it has been there at every milestone, holding his hand and waiting for him at home.

You hope to one day replace the suffering with your presence and give Kakashi the true happiness he deserves.

“Yes, I will be here - for as long as you want me to be.” You reassure, letting your hand scratch and rub different patterns into his hair to make him sleepy enough to shut his eyes.

“Sounds like a nice dream.” He confesses voice heavy with the sleep you brought to him using comfort and loving words. Even as the thunder claps and lightning forks through the sky, there you stay just like you said you would.

A faint clap of thunder,

Even if rain comes or not,

I will stay here,

Together with you.

[hazardous-who]

Part two of "To Lose is to Gain" !

⚠ New Fic Alert - [ To Give is to Take ]

[ Pairing: Obito Uchiha / Kakashi Hatake ]

[ Following the events of part one. ] It’s been two months since Obito moved in after his disappearing trick.

Two months of consistent contact between the two of them, for better and worse. Kakashi still tangled in the web that Obito had weaved, except this time, he’s made himself somewhat comfortable in it. Changing, except not changing at all- Reverting to old habits and feelings he thought he had distanced himself from, all while doing his best to appease the one he’s found himself trapped to.

Finding memories he had previously pushed down being stirred up the longer he spends with Obito. Thinking of the one that had started it all, even if back then, he didn’t quite understand what it was he had started.

Happy, though he knows he shouldn’t be, considering who the other is. Scared of the way the rot has spread in such a quick time, but more than anything, scared of the way the line that separates them has started to blend.

🚩 Rating - Explicit. DEAD DOVE !

🏁 Ongoing

As usual, mind the tags on the actual Ao3 page ! ESPECIALLY with this one, please and thank you. It's a lot more than part one was, which is part of why they got broken up to allow readers to get off at their preferred stop.

Link Here - [ click click ]

[reposhillo]

Kirigakure Rebellion Au

Just pretty much a list of headcanons for my Kirigakure Rebellion Au where Zabuza was a part of the resistance movement to remove Yagura, along with Mei and Ao. It pretty much also combines Zabuza and Haku live aus and Let's not give Kakashi a reminder of Rin's death for the hundredth time aus

Its also kinda a road map to get me to somehow connect these all together to make a cohesive fic out of

Also features my extra commentary

Works featuring this au

Bitten kisses

Battered Bones against the Waves

Kirigakure

Zabuza was raised in the slums of Kirigakure, where the poorest of the poor gathered. He lived with his mother (because damn we got all kinds of father figures but moms don't even get name dropped. What, did Sakumo get Kakashi express delivered?)

The slums were often scoured for shinobi recruitment during war times or just times of conflict, mainly used to collect fodder. However a young Zabuza saw becoming a ninja as a way to collect money to get his ailing mother medical help and to help claw their way up from the bottom

Sadly, just shortly after he reached his ninth birthday, his mother succumbed to her illness, leaving Zabuza alone. Heartbroken, and with nothing left to lose, he attends the Kirigakure Academy graduation and slaughters all the graduates

Zabuza becomes a well feared shinobi that rose quickly in ranks over the following years, however like many he grew to resent and question the practices and traditions that Yagura allowed to continue and even made worse (especially the Kekkei Genkai clan killings)

Zabuza became the sturdy backbone of the resistance, following Ao as part of the Sensory division for intel, and Mei, who with her abilities and political sway, was selected to be the candidate to replace Yagura when it came time to deal with him (It took Konoha how many days to find a replacement Hokage after the Third? Considering the Genjutsu that Yagura was under was discovered and dispelled right before the chuunin exams and Mei was selected in place quickly enough to decide not to participate their village in the exams, makes me think that she was always lined up, you know? Like it was planned.)

Unfortunately, there was a mole within Zabuza's ranks, which in turn ratted out his plans the night of his attempted coup. He had only chosen a small group to infiltrate and take out Yagura, as Mei and Ao were to only make their moves after Yagura was dead.

Zabuza, of course, flees that very same night. Only pausing to snatch Haku from where Zabuza had left him (who he had taken under his wing months before the attempted coup) before fleeing Kirigakure. It's thanks to Ao and Mei's hidden efforts that he isn't caught, and he takes on the sole blame for the attempted assassination as to not implicate them.

Zabuza then spends his time training Haku, avoiding Hunter-nin, and resorting to any work he can find that pays well so he can feed and shelter the few followers he has left, on top of circulating money or supplies back home (he has a radio that he contacts Ao on only when he comes into a good chunk of money, supplies, or intel. It's only for him to communicate what he's found, and neither Ao or Mei are meant to respond out of caution)

Land of Waves

Everything pretty much plays out the same EXCEPT

Kakashi is able to catch sight (and scent) of Haku right as he jumps between him and Zabuza to act as a shield. Kakashi only barely manages to redirect his Chidori/Raikiri/Lightning blade to not piercing through Haku's heart but rather tear through his shoulder

The wound is still grievous enough to make Haku lose consciousness while clutching at Kakashi's arm. With the amount of blood coating him and Haku falling limp, Zabuza assumes that Haku has died. For him.

Canon events play out from here, with Zabuza attempting to cleave through Haku's body and Kakashi leaping away with him. Kakashi closes Haku's eyes and continues fighting Zabuza (in the heat of battle and the fact that Kakashi only barely managed to raise his aim, he too assumes the boy is dead)

Gato appears, Naruto's speech, Zabuza's tears but then...shortly after Gato kicked Haku's face.....everyone is shocked to hear Haku faintly groan

This shell shocks Naruto, Kakashi "Wait I didn't murder another dark haired individual who looks strangely like Rin", and of course Zabuza

Gato, surprised to see Haku still alive, sees this as a perfect time for revenge and attempts to use his cane to bash in Haku's skull

Zabuza sprints into action, and Kakashi knowing Naruto would also leap into the fray to save Haku, clones himself to hold Naruto back while he joins Zabuza (they did just stop fighting once Gato pretty much fired Zabuza and turned on him )

With Kakashi in the fray, Zabuza doesn't get as severely injured, allowing him to make it to Gato where of course he decapitates the bastard

Cue the village population and Inari showing up, followed by clone shenanigans, and the fact two deadly ninja are within their midst, Gatos hired thugs flee

Zabuza's favor from Kakashi in this au consists of him helping Zabuza get to Haku's side. Kakashi agrees, and the pair make their way to Haku who is barely breathing, blood pouring from his wound. Kakashi would remark that Haku wouldn't last much longer, and Zabuza agrees.

With their truce and probably some parting words from Naruto, that movement of Zabuza's arm mustered in canon is used to get Haku hooked over his shoulder with the least injured arm. Zabuza says his goodbyes, and then uses what strength and energy he has left to escape the bridge with Haku.

The two weeks spent fixing the bridge and team 7 healing, Zabuza is instead tending to Haku at their hideout. The first week was spent in a toss up of whether Haku would live, but the second is spent with him healing after the worst had passed. The pair would tend to their wounds for probably a month or so, along with Zabuza admitting that Haku wasn't just a tool to him. He does care about Haku, and just wants him to be able to survive on his own should anything befall Zabuza.

Zabuza and Haku's relationship then shifts into a more Teacher/student and pseudo-guardian figure on Zabuza's end.

When Zabuza and Haku decide to take their leave, Zabuza is amused to find his and Haku's 'graves', along with Kubikiribocho embedded at his. He thinks Kakashi has a twisted sense of humor (but also very grateful that his sword wasn't confiscated and them being 'dead' would buy them time from Hunter-nin)

Afterwards

Basically after Yagura was discovered brainwashed and Mei becomes Mizukage, Zabuza and Haku are "captured" and brought back to Kirigakure. Through some string pullings and other underhanded means, Zabuza is punished by being reinstated as a Kirigakure ninja (I know, big punishment right? Maybe she reverts him back to a Genin/Chuunin just to be petty)

[justsomeoneunordinary]

if you're still accepting asks for the character ask game, then numbers 12 and 20 for Mito? and/or 2 and 7 for Kakashi?

Thank you for the asks!! 🥺💕💕

Mito:

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I mean... considering Mito doesn't really have a canon characterization, everything about her is made-up anyway, so that's kinda difficult to answer when her entire personality is a headcanon. Especially because I write her however I need her to be and that can differ widely from fic to fic.

Buuut in my heart I know this woman is extremely shameless. I headcanon the Uzumaki to be quite laid-back and open-minded in all manners, especially the sexual, and Mito brings that with her when she moves over to Konoha. She may look all poised and well-behaved but she will walk up to Madara and look him in the eye, telling him in not-so-subtle words what she and Hashirama had been up to the night before just to watch him squirm.

I know this to be true and I am more than willing to fight Kishi about it.

Along with that, I think she's a gremlin of a woman. Mito causes mischief wherever she goes just because she can and because she's bored, and no one suspects her except for those few people who know her well enough.

Also!!! Zero self-preservation instinct when it comes to seals! That woman shoved a whole-ass Bijuu inside her with an experimental seal and I refuse to believe she actually calculated the risk. Unless Kishi actually mans up and writes the scene of her sealing Kurama, I will simply continue believing that she looked at the big, mean, grumpy fox and went "I will show that fucker who's boss". In my heart, she's more of a crazy scientist than Tobirama.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Tobirama!!! Am I biased? Yes. Do I care? No. They should be sealing besties!!! I need them to do all-nighters in Tobirama's lab and come up with seals beyond human comprehension, beyond any ethics and morals. These two would fuck around and find out and it would be terrible horrible no good for literally everyone else but they sure would have the time of their lives. I know Tobirama didn't come up with the Edo Tensei all of his own, I know Mito helped him! No one can convince me otherwise, come and fight me Kishimoto and be prepared to lose!

Kakashi:

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Everything? He's my favorite character, literally just remembering how great of a character he is dragged me back into this hellhole of a fandom after I told myself I would never return here lol

I love his personality, his history and what made him who he is now, his quirks, his design... I think if I have to pick a favorite it's how caring he is. Kakashi acts so aloof all the time, but he cares deeply.

He claims he has no one left anymore but Gai is there, Tenzou is there, Asuma is there, the other Jounin are there - and he cares a whole damn lot for all these people for someone who claims he has no one anymore. He disobeys Tsunade's - his Hokage's!! - orders to help with the Sasuke retrieval because he cares about his team, damnit. And he shows how much he cares for his Genin over and over throughout the series. Because those who abandon their friends are worse than scum and he lives by that til the end even after the whole Obito-shitshow during the 4th war.

He's just. Such a big softie on the inside at the end of the day, despite everything, and I love that about him.

(Also, his design fucks. He's the only Naruto character who actually looks like a ninja. He's the shinobi of all shinobis Imo.)

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

... You should've asked the opposite, that would've been easier to answer.

Okay, I love how much Kakashi whump there is. He canonically went through so much shit in his past - and it continues getting worse!! - and the fandom looks at this man who's already on the ground and goes "Is anyone going to kick him while he's already down?" and doesn't even wait for an answer. Yes, he deserves a relaxed and happy ending!! But I greatly enjoy whump and angst and the Kakashi fandom certainly delivers.

Also, I love it when the fandom gives him Lichtenberg scars! Not only because they look cool af, but more importantly because I love it when fandom ads consequences to jutsu experimentation! Yes, show me what could go wrong when experimenting with raw lightning, no matter that it's his natural element! These shinobi should have more scars anyway, and in that regard the fandom doesn't disappoint :D

-

Send me character asks!

[sea-owl]

hi!! have u ever entertained the idea of yander sasuke for sasusaku? cause there's probs some clan bullshit that makes him think it's acceptable as sakuras losing her shit over a dead body lmao.

Have I read it? Yes. Have I written anything for it? That is up to your interpretation. Closest would probably be this post here.

The Uchiah's are known to sorta loose it after the loss of a loved one, and I can see it extending from the loved one leaving to the loved one dying. So I just imagine young Sasuke tossing all morals out the window when it comes to the last people he loves cares about.

So yeah I can totally see it, especially in the beginning. Sasuke keeps a tight leash on it at first because hello, they gotta kill Itachi.

Then he gets assigned to Team 7 and has to listen to Kakashi make his speeches about comrades, and teamwork. He starts spending more time around Naruto and Sakura.

He almost dies in the Land of Waves, and oh. Oh no. Does he care about his teammates? Is he starting to love them?

The others are used to him being quiet, so they don't think much of it on the way home. Meanwhile Sasuke is analyzing every single interaction he has had between Naruto and Sakura.

Right away, he can identify what he is beginning to feel towards Naruto. They are similar feelings he felt for Itachi. The feelings for Sakura were new to him. It felt like light after being in the darkness for so long. Sasuke found he rather liked that light and refused to see it extinguished.

When they get back to the village Sasuke starts keeping a closer eye on Sakura. More often enough shadowing her without her knowledge.

It's made even worse once Orochimaru gives him the curse mark. All his darker thoughts are coming to the surface. At that point, boy needs all the brain bleach to help him.

Those sound ninjas dared to try to snuff out Sakura's light. To leave Sasuke alone again in the darkness. Very well then, Sasuke will gladly leave them in darkness instead.

Things don't go exactly as planned, but Sasuke is content for the moment. Those sound ninjas are gone, and Sakura needs him more currently.

Things get really complicated after the Sand villages invasion of the Leaf village. Sakura got hurt because of him, and Naruto was the one to save her. Sasuke found himself in his own way clingy to Sakura. On missions, he often makes sure they're the ones paired up. During training, she is almost always in eye view. Sasuke will never admit this, but at night, he has started watching over her. Her balcony is satisfactory for him to sleep as long as he can make sure she doesn't get hurt. He's always gone before she wakes.

His relationship with Naruto started to become messy. Sasuke already had plans to kill one brother, he will not hesitate to kill another so long as kept Sakura's light.

[butter--peanut]

It's a hugeass ask, but I can't help it xD But really, when it comes to post-canon, I agree, Obito wouldn't be doing just okay in Konoha, drowning in domesticity. The idea may be fluffy, but he needs a biiiiiig purpose. He's not used to being so unfocused, limited. This is why I rather prefer Obito is (temporarily) Resurrected than Obito Lives AUs, because he can start somewhere new and not be trapped in Konoha with its ghosts and trigger situations and the feeling of dull pressure and awkwardness. I don't know such fics, but I like daydreaming in this direction.

For example, in canon Sage said he wanted to talk to Obito in the Pure World? Well, why don't he then. So, Sage who's almost a deity + Nagato + Konan + Yahiko up there -- they have a lot of ontological talks with [so you're not Madara?]!Obito and the war victim trio finally reaches some point of compassion for him and Sage warms up to him, too (he helped save the world after all, as well as the reincarnations of Sage's sons). Obito now really wishes he'd made some other choices in life and hadn't contributed to the trio's belowed Amegakure becoming even more of a hellhole and gaining such a reputation, and they know he's genuine now. Meanwhile on earth everybody's forgotten about Ame even though Naruto had promised to do smth about it, the area's still in deep shit; time passes, but nothing changes. It starts irking even Obito, so Sage finally tells him: "Well, go fix it then. It's partly your fault, but you deserve a chance." Obito: "If I could, I would. Because apparently no one else in that stupid world cares." =_=

In the end Sage and the trio use his ash in that weird Kaguya dimension (in which nothing decays; Sage can go there bc his creepy mom is there too, sealed) and subject the ash to their super-duper charkra magic no jutsu (like Naruto created Kakashi's eye out of nothing), Sage performs it and the trio helps, but the amount of chakra they lend him is limited, so his new body has a time limit - maybe a year or so. He's not as strong as he used to be bc Sage could recreate only true Obito cells, no Hashirama cells this time, so he's weaker, his reserves are smaller, but he's wholly Obito; no Zetsu flesh. He thanks them and kamuis out of that place.

Obito knows Ame like the back of his hand and can actually help this small, war-torn region, having a lot of experience in politics, infiltration, shadow-kage-ing and all that. And can settle some of his karma and somehow make it up for the trio who (along with their initial Akatsuki) he had brilliantly fucked up xDDD They cared about their village and the idea of peace so much… so he's back with the purpose of freeing Amegakure from some of the corruption/criminal activity going on there and helping it build political bridges with the other villages, especially Konoha where Kakashi is the kage, and. Well. But Obito doesn't reveal himself, he doesn't want anybody to know he's back to avoid distraction from his noble purpose and wants to stay in the shadows, like a true ninja, only focused on his "redemption mission".

And it all goes well, he puts his (dark) talents into actually helping Ame, the place has been getting better, but then Obito's captured by those who want Ame to stay a hellhole and don't need any interference from weird strangers like him. And without Hashirama cells, Obito experiences some problems xD However, the info about the secret captive is leaked to Konoha, and Kakashi finally finds out who's behind sudden positive geopolitical activity in Ame and wants to bring Obito to Konoha (but he's selfish here). He secretly finds the prisoner somewhere locked in Ame, chakraless, and it's indeed Obito -- angry and desperate because he has no time for that prisoner shit and chakralessness and stupid useless interrogations or something worse (either in Ame or Konoha), he's gotta finish his business in Ame, he has a purpose, and Kakashi learns about his agreement with Nagato&Yahiko&Konan, his "time limit", and the drama ensues. "No, Kakashi pretend I don't exist, just help Ame, help me fix the mess if you want, listen to what I say and we'll improve the situation here!" "Nooooo, you exist, you idiot!" "If you cling to that idea, be prepared for another death of mine then, there's not much life energy in me, and it's running out. Can you bear this, me dying on you for the third time? As Hokage you have other things to care about." "No, we're working together now, don't do it alone, now I know it's you, and let me just…" "It's my fucking burden and I'm finally fucking doing something about it, just help me get free already and go do your Hokage stuff. And I'll be doing things here. I know what I'm doing! Don't need you to instruct me!" "I'm not instructing you, but I want to help you with it ........ You really can't stand me, don't you." "Yes, and no, and yes, and just — gaaaah! Help Ame, not me!" But that's too much for a doujin, huh? xD

ooh love the way you think! I don't know fics like this either...

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Do you think husband Gai ever got past losing Kakashi?

Like here was the man of his dreams, who he grew up with, spent almost every day with, married and had 8 dogs with. He built a house and bed for him, and eventually they bought a book store together to live out Kakashi's dream of owning a book store. They had plans to start a family... and then one day it was taken from him, only for the love of his life to start transforming into a god and then vanish in the sky. Worse was, Gai realized what was happening and I could see him and Kakashi realizing it near the exact same time and Gai just...slowly removing his hand that was putting pressure on the wound. Letting the blood flow...

Letting his Kakashi go...

It must have been the hardest thing he ever did... (He'd face a million Madara's if it meant having his Kakshi back.)

But Kakashi is not actually gone... he can come back to him on occassion. He can get to hold him, their dogs visit him regularly...

But in some ways I wonder if that makes it harder at first. To go from a full, busy house every day... to almost completely alone. To have the animals and his partner who he loved more than anything, keep flitting back in and out of his life. A reminder of what was and what he can't have...

So does he ever reconcile with all these feelings? Do he and Kakashi move through it together? Does he ever get to the point where it becomes less "I lost my husband" and more "my husband is a god and works sometimes far from home...he needs to go on many business trips and the dogs have to go too...but they'll come back. I can't have them every day but... they'll always come back to me."

I almost see a scene where Gai sitting really sadly in their bookshop after hours, crying at the desk, before Kakashi comes over, hand on his, before saying something soft to make him feel better "I can fix that."

(The movie Holes RUINED me as a kid!!!)

And at this time, Nanako has finally appeared to him. There's Wakare and Saikai who were the kids/ now adults he never got to raise, but they're still his and Kakashi's (well one is Ibiki's. But I figure its like how Hiroki was Kakashi's kid despite not being related. These men adopt one another's kids XD.).

Just Gai slowly moving forwardfrom the pain and accepting his new life. He may never have back what he lost... but he knows he's also lucky to be able to get to see, and have the Kakashibin his life at all. He may be a god... but he's still his Kakashi.

I wonder if one day when he's outside, he smells the scent of the rain before it falls and has the stark realization...that that is how Kakashi always smelled... and maybe just smiles to himself as he waits for his husband and his rain to appear.

Gai smelling the rain one day and realizing that it’s the smell he always got from Kakashi. The scent that would overwhelm him whenever he buried his face into Kakashi’s neck and tried to drown himself in that beautiful scent.

It’s so sweet 😭😭😭

Also that scene of Gai putting pressure on Kakashi’s wound, hoping against all odds to save his husband, only to see how Kakashi’s body is starting to glow

Maybe that’s not the moment he realizes though

It’s when the rain starts to fall

For all of this life Gai has been denied the rain, except for the first night of his life. He has never seen it. Never smelled it (except on Kakashi) and never felt it

But as soon as that first raindrop falls he realizes what’s happening.

He understands in that instant that Kakashi isn’t really dying, he’s returning to the place he’s supposed to be and Gai can’t hold him back

Because as much as he wants to both Kakashi and Gai are very duty bound, and neither of them would hold the other back from carrying out their duty, especially when an entire world relies on it.

Gai takes his hand off Kakashi’s wound and Kakashi smiles up at him with the saddess, most apologetic smile Gai has ever seen because he doesn’t WANT to leave

Even as the memories flood back he wants to stay

He wants to be selfish and tell the world to wait because he has given up so much for it, but he can’t because people will die

He knows they will. He has seen it. Him and Gai have helped at the children’s hospital by bringing produce for the kids meals and seen how the drought has affected so many people

He’s needed, and no matter how much he wants to tell the world to wait he can’t

So Gai let’s go of Kakashi and Kakashi let’s go of Gai

Except they never really let go

It may take a few days for Kakashi to make his way around the world ensuring everyone gets water, but he will always come back to gai. He will always find his way home, and it will almost always be when Gai needs him the most

When it’s becoming too hard to pretend to be happy while his heart is breaking

As for the kids, they’re all shared custody tbh

Nakano asserts she has three days: Kakashi, Gai and Ibiki

Houki and his sister (i f***ing forgot to put them in my google dog for this au 😭😭) are shared custody between Tenzo, Kakashi, bee and Iruka.

Wakare: Kakashi, Ibiki and Gai

SaiKai: Ibiki, Kakashi and Gai

Hiroki: Kakashi, Rin and Gai

The only one of Kakashi’s kids that only really recognizes their bio parents as their parents is Koni (Ibiki/Kakashi’s son) and that’s because Gai was still mortal at the time and never a big part of his life. He still gets along with Gai when he becomes a god though

[simbelmyne20niniel]

Thank you, Merry Christmas to you as well! I would put a few pics of Rory here, but anon doesn't allow me to put pics - so just imagine there being a few good pics of him 💜

People are going crazy - I hope everything's good with your health over there 🥺 But I have to tell you, I did find time to listen to the songs, so here are my live comments after I listened to each one of them:

Time of the season - really nice, I really dig the keyboard in this (kinda reminds me of Manzarek's playing, so nice!)

Summertime - this is moody, wait, let me check the lyrics to this one. Oh, there's a girl crying in this song, huh…

The way I feel inside - didn't expect it to be almost only singing. The keyboard gets a very nice feeling to it, but the vocalist has such a nice voice <3

Beechwood Park - interesting listen, very psychedelic one. Again, going to check the lyrics. It's a song about longing for the summer days and for someone. Beautiful lyrics

This will be our year - its has somehow a positive vibe, the drums are good in this one, very soft, but good

Can't nobody love you - I love this song! It's romantic in its purest form - maybe because I crave such a love, haha

What more can I do - it has a catchy rhythm, especially when the title is sang

It's alright with me - uuu, I like that! Quick. Drummer is good here

Maybe after he's gone - this one is very melancholy, the keyboard does great job in this one again

A million miles away - Rory's voice is SO NICE. The drummer slays at some points in this song, it's long, but so good to listen to!

Shadow play - this is amazing! Who is drumming in this one?! Drummer is so good!

Easy come, easy go - blues, almost as good as "I'm Gonna Crawl" by Led Zeppelin

They don't make them like you anymore - very energetic, the keyboard/piano is so funky like

Follow me - this is quick, kinda rock like, compared to the previous songs, love that one

Bad penny - it has a really catchy guitar, dang it, Rory's music is so good, I didn't expect it

Just the smile - a lot of acoustic guitar, upbeat, Rory's voice just fit so well (I actually love when the vocalist's voice is so good that I treat it like another instrument and I don't pay attention to the lyrics, this is the case here)

Wave myself goodbye - very different from the previous ones, I got a very western film kind of vibe from this one

Moonchild - interesting one, guitar is wonderful in this one, simple if it comes to lyrics, but somehow magical in a way

Laundromat - who is drumming on this one? I love it, so much drumming here, the guitar, bass, vocals, this is perfection

Do you read me - now this is a jam, I vibed to it

Today it'll be even worse, I hope you don't have to go shopping today!

You get it about Ichigo, he's such an amazing protagonist!

What did I like about Bleach. Main protagonist, that's for sure XD But besides that I liked how the world was build and the characters in it. It's a series that doesn't take itself too seriously, everyone are so chill there and also I have two favorites: Zaraki and Grimmjow. I still smile like an idiot when I see them 😂

Kakashi, Tobirama and Madara seem to have the best fangirls 👀

Ouch, that's the worst when you like a character and they screw them up - I had that happening with one fic as well, although I blame it on my immaturity, it was years ago - but tell me, what did they do that made you leave the fic on hiatus? I didn't watch Stranger Things, but I don't mind spoilers, so go on!

Well, if it comes to the fic about Keith - it ain't written in any form (I got myself busy with other projects - one being a fic with J.D.Clover x ofc, character Keith played in "That'll be the day" and "Stardust" and second being a fic where Keith is old and we kinda *get along* if you know what I mean 🤭), but the idea is this:

The Who have a concert in the town I live in (somewhere in England) and Roger writes to me, sending me an invitation for the concert and to the backstage. We've been childhood friends ever since we can remember so he kinda feels obligated to do it, but there are also other band members who remind him of me every second they can, thinking we were together. In the invitation Roger writes a small side note to me, asking me to keep my drumming obsession at bay. I accept the invitation, hoping that I won't go bonkers seeing the drummer of his band, but as you can guess that doesn't work well.

This is the first time I'm seeing The Who. I heard their songs on radio, but never paid this much attention to buy records. I always liked the sound so seeing them live is life changing. I kinda forget how to blink during the concert 🤣

Anyways, after the concert I get backstage. Roger is the first one that notices me, we greet each other very warmly - insert John and Pete sending each other gazes that say "They are totally together" - and he introduces me to the rest. Keith is not with them, he's away, taking a shower. We talk, everything is fine, until I ask about the drummer. This conversation takes place: Me: Where is that drummy boy? Roger: Oh God... Pete: Drummy boy? John: You mean Keith? Me: *eyes shining* YES Roger: I asked you to keep it inside, Caroline Me: I am, but he was so good! I mean, John freaking Bonham is good, but this guy? He's amazing! Roger: *laughing* Welp, we've lost her Pete: You never told us she had an interest in drumming? Roger: She keeps it a secret, as much as she can

Keith appears not so long after and after a small introduction I get in a conversation with him. At first Keith thinks I'm interested in him, but then he realizes that I'm solely interested in his drumming. Him, of all people, thinks I'm nutty and before he agrees to show me his kit and how he plays, he mumbles to Roger: "She's insane..." which causes everyone to laugh, because he's the one saying it.

Time passes from that day, I keep in contact with Roger, slowly realizing that I grew fond of the drummer yet I'm too shy to ask about his number, I only ask about him when I talk with Roger. That is until one day when I suddenly get a phone call at 3 a.m., Keith calling because he bothered Roger so much about my number that he finally gave up and gave it to him.

From that moment we keep in touch, things go well, we meet as well. This is when I learn he's been divorced (fic taking place in 1975 mostly), he learns a few things about myself and through meetings in pubs we kind of start to open up to each other. Keith finds a safe person in me and I find a very sweet person in him.

We get together, things are awful at first due to his alcoholism as you can guess. The fic goes as far as to Keith living in California with me - I actually wrote a one-shot about us living there for the first anniversary of my obsession about him - us coming back to England later and me trying, really trying to get him out of his addictions. This story also serves as a way to save him, so in the end he doesn't die and we live together, even marrying each other in the 80s, when he's all good from rehab (even if it took ages to get to that point, a lot of shattered nerves and destroyed mental health).

You're welcome 🫂

I hadn't seen the movie, but the drama is about people connected to each other through dreaming. They dream and they see that the other is in danger and they can save them. It's a cute drama really! Firs one I saw and the lead actor is a CUTIE!

7 wins is a lot! Nice prizes 💜

Also, tomorrow is the big reveal, me taking my shades off. Are you excited? Do you have any expectations to what you'll see on my blog?

Thank you!! My health is doing fine. Thanks to God, nothing to worry about. 

I'm so happy to read your songs' reviews!!!

Rory had different drummers, but, according to Wikipidea, the drummer on Shadowplay was Ted McKenna. The drummer on Laundromat was Wilgar Campbell (I found this one on the YouTube video).

I did go out to do some shopping, but weirdly enough there were few people in the supermarket. I bought my beloved pomegranates hahaha, and a lot of cauliflower and portobello because we're going to bread them.  

Great characters!!! And yes they were so unserious hahahaha, but it worked. I remember that I laughed a lot in the first season because of Ichigo's dad. 

About Stranger Things...

Eddie was framed for the death of another character. That was his plot… it was a good plot since it was talking about stereotypes, religious fanatics and very closed-minded people. But at the end of the season, they (showrunners) killed the character... they didn't clarify that he was innocent. They (main characters) could have returned from the "Upside Down" with some of his things like his bandana or jacket. But no, as far as I remember, they didn't do it. His uncle is still looking for him and the main characters at the end of the season looked so indifferent about what happened. It was like he was not with them the whole season.

So I want to first see how the show is going to end and if they at least close Eddie's plot, and depending on that, I would take it into account, so I can continue the fic.

Me reading your plot for the Keith fic

"Connected to each other through dreaming" SIGN ME UP!!!  I love this plot so much!!! As someone who is always having vivid dreams, this is a plot that I like. I'm totally gonna watch that Kdrama.

Yes!!! I want to meet you!! I had so much fun talking to you. I do hope to keep talking and sharing fics and more music. 

[sasubaeuchithot]

i've been here before and i'm here yet again since you said you don't mind, hoping this'll cheer you up some. i have read kizuna hikari many many times and skimmed through my fave parts a few times more. there is magic in it and it has permanently made it's way into my heart.

here are some of my favourite parts or lines from it (and kizuna shiten):

"Naruto’s eyes were very blue. This was definitely worse."

"There was something in the way Naruto smiled at him after, wiping his bottom lip with his forearm. Challenging. It was a short pause between blows, but it felt like a year."

"It hit him now that this was, in fact, out of character for him. He would never do something this embarrassing."

the whole scene in the bathroom after peeking at kakashi's face is just *chef's kiss* especially sasuke pushing his bangs back and naruto just squinting at him because of it.

“But I meant more along the lines of doing anything necessary to protect you.” and “Well, everyone’s life is important,” Naruto agreed, and Sasuke opened his eyes at the wrong moment. “Especially yours, though.” and sasuke basically twirling his hair and kicking his feet back and forth. ok basically all of ch 4 is golden and it ending with "he had never felt safer." just.??? sasuke comfortable?? blissful?? safe??? incredible

"When Naruto giggled, Sasuke felt it radiate through him. Naruto was close, and Sasuke was weak. "

"It finally became too much. Sasuke dove into the dresser and pulled out the first pair of pajama pants he found, forcefully pelting the fabric directly into Naruto’s peaceful, stupid face. “Put some clothes on!” Sasuke yelled, surprising himself with how desperate he sounded." ahh poor baby. and then next morning he's panicking bc of a boner and naruto asking about kissing again is just:" He lifted a shoulder sheepishly. “’Just kinda got the feeling from you that you wanted to.” LOVE IT

“At least I can actually handle kissing, you loser!”

Naruto clicked his tongue, seemingly unaffected. “No you can’t.”

“You sound like you want to find out.” such a subtle and gentle way to steer the action where it's probably gonna go anyway eventually without pressuring sasuke into anything, considering naruto probably was about to bust a nut himself from just kissing.

"But Naruto still had a hold of the back of Sasuke’s head, and used it to pull him back in. His lips brushed against Sasuke’s, taunting him. “Trust me,” he whispered, and the sound of it ripped down Sasuke’s spine."

"Sasuke’s hand slammed down on the table. “You left your window open-?!” he caught himself to late, having not wanted to show so much emotion." i LOVE the domesticity!!!

"Under the table, Sasuke felt Naruto’s leg lean further into the touch." they need gentle touching!!!

"Fuck it, he thought to himself. It was just a dumb kiss. Leaning over the bed, Sasuke pressed their lips together, a breath of relief leaving him on the way." sasuke "kissing is pointless" uchiha

the bath scene in suna is EVERYTHING and probably my fave line from the whole story is "To think someone would choose a village." and one of the reasons is because it always catches me by surprise because i'm so deep in the moment that i just forget what's coming and it always punches my gut in its simplicity. it really shows sasuke's heart.

"But Naruto continued to brush them off, motioning for them to take a seat on the dirt with him. “Just sit here and watch this for a bit. I wanna see how it ends.” in the chunin exams. so unbothered, watching sasuke fight, and so confident in his ability.

sasuke and naruto making everything a competition and treating it as foreplay is very much on point.

the fight between naruto and sasuke, the conversations they have in the top box and their escape to the blizzard realm is filled with so much emotion that i often find it almost difficult to read. it's so raw and real for sasuke, and you write it so well it's easy to feel it with him, even though the feelings are so painful and layered. then we get to the waterfall, and it balances out the hurt with so much comfort and stability. it's a place just for them, where they are just sasuke and naruto. i can't even pick my favourites from the birthday party because it's just that good. oh actually the "Just checking" and "Nothing's changed" after the big reveal are so important to me because that's what sasuke and naruto is and always has been to me. their dynamics stay more or less the same, but they get to actually share and feel and express the love that they have for each other. then walking HOME hand in hand, as they should.

and as much as i love the love story, i also love the way you handle the politics! you don't portray naruto as a bootlicker, because it is way more nuanced than that, and especially gaara's chapter in kizuna shiten is such a juicy read because of the fight he has within him regarding his village and naruto, and the juxtaposition of sasuke and gaara asking naruto the same questions about becoming hokage and their thoughts on his answers being on opposite ends of a spectrum, highlighting their positions in naruto's life and how much they can afford to rely on their feelings.

also your sakura is so so so nice. it's realistic and i'll be happy to see what happens to her. for kurama, i feel sooo bad for him lmaoooo. he's so exasperated.

“He can be as bratty as he wants to be,” Naruto defended, not making eye contact.

“Yes, I know how you feel about him.” Kurama sighed, exasperated." just. pure gold.

as i said, these are some of my favourite things about kizuna hikari. i have much more and would love to do a chapter by chapter analysis and i'm probably a bit unhealthily invested in this story, but that's just me consuming media. can't and won't be normal about it (or about sasuke and naruto in general, as they've held a place in my heart for over half of my life).

i hope you get to feel better and get better job opportunities! ✨💕✨💕✨

THIS IS MEDICINE FOR AN AUTHOR. THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE THIS FOR ME

these are all moments that I also love 😭 I'm so glad I was able to translate everything in my head into that story in a way where other people can interpret it in the way I felt about it while writing it. Sasuke and Naruto's dynamic in canon is so important to me, and I'm glad I was able to successfully replicate and expand on it

[skykashi]

How Kakashi's mental health negatively effected his strength and why he was getting stronger and stronger throughout the story.

Have you ever wondered why Tsunade was surprised that Itachi defeated Kakashi and was so angry that she scolded him for losing?

That's because Tsunade personally knowing Kakashi's power level as a Shinobi and that he shouldn't have lost that fight ... Then what happened?!.

Aside from the things I explained in the second half of this post, Kakashi was actually rusty, after Hiruzen got him out of Anbu and before he gets team 7, Kakashi's mental health was at it's lowest, he lost the Anbu missions which despite not being good for him and was actually making his depression worse, it's was the only thing that was keeping him busy, so now he had too much free time, he was failing all of the students he got and apparently he wasn't being sent to S or A ranked missions and according to his own statements he stopped training too

And here in his fight with Zabuza he states that it has been so long since he had a fight like this

And here he once again confirms that he hasn't had a fight like this since he left Anbu

Now, remember when Kakashi was teaching team 7 to walk on trees and was explaining chakra control? Kakashi explained that the physical AND mental energies combine to form chakra.

And this is why having a bad mental health can effect the Shinobi's overall strength greatly.

Then Kakashi gets team 7 and slowly things starts to get better gradually especially in Shippuden when he tells Naruto this

And then he got to meet his father and forgive him and know that because of it his father too can now move on and can finally join his mother.

And then during the war he got the chance to properly say goodbye to Rin, Obito and Minato and then later they even get Sasuke back.

He finally gets to move on.. even the Sharingan that was a constant reminder of his pain and failures was gone. When he says "As of today Kakashi of The Sharingan is no more" it holds a much more deeper meaning than just losing the Sharingan. "Kakashi of the Sharingan" was the man who had the weight of the whole world on his shoulders, who was always burdened by his guilt, his failures and everything he lost, that sad broken man who used to be called "Kakashi of the Sharingan" is no more. The new Kakashi gets to have a new beginning with all of the friends and precious people he still has, who has filled the hole in his heart, in a new era of peace, the peace that they all fought so hard to get and now they finally have. And this is why Hokage Kakashi is much much more stronger than he ever was. The current Kakashi has a perfect mental energy combined with a perfect physical energy (especially after losing the chakra drain of the Sharingan and the great toll it used to put on his body) and he is even training and learning so many new powerful Jutsu and inventing new ones like it's stated in Kakashi Retsuden. The new Kakashi finally gets to use his full potentials without all the emotional baggage that used to hold him back 🥺❤️

[panharmonium]

this is legitimately one of my top five favorite kakashi scenes.

i love seeing kakashi break the rules in the name of doing the right thing, and this scene especially is particularly satisfying to me, because his moment of defiance here is, to my mind, long overdue.  

one of my eternal frustrations in early naruto is how the leaf village administration gives kakashi the job of caring for a group of super high-needs children and then continually makes that job as difficult for him as possible.  they task him with being solely responsible for the development and well-being of three twelve year-olds - a group that includes naruto (a walking disaster with a god’s power trapped inside his body) and sasuke (a genocide survivor fixated on killing his own brother), BOTH of whom are being hunted by different groups of supercriminals - and then the village keeps getting in kakashi’s way or dropping the ball or actively ordering him to prioritize other things.  

so much of what goes wrong with the kids in this period is the result of other people interfering with kakashi’s work or being negligent or endangering the kids/putting kakashi in impossible positions.  team 7’s first big mission sets the tone for everything that comes after, with someone else’s lie putting kakashi in a situation where he has to single-handedly protect not just the client who deceived him, but the three children who were supposed to be the clients’ other protectors.  and after that, the list just multiplies:

ten anbu operatives can’t manage to protect sasuke’s hospital room from orochimaru’s minions, so kakashi has to do it himself and then whisk sasuke out of the village for a month, leaving naruto in the hands of a substitute and sakura with her parents

genma orders sasuke to chase after gaara when the chunin exams blow up, saying “you’re at chunin level already,” which forces kakashi to immediately dispatch more kids to bring him back, because “ffs NO i do NOT want him out there doing that why the fuck would you tell him to do that?!” 

aoba runs his mouth off about itachi when sasuke is standing RIGHT THERE, instantly undoing all the work kakashi just did to prevent itachi and sasuke from coming anywhere near each other (and thus sending sasuke to that disastrous first encounter, the outcome of which ultimately leads to sasuke’s defection)

jiraiya decides he should let sasuke try to fight itachi himself, “out of respect for the boy’s feelings,” leading to sasuke ending up in a tsukuyomi coma

tsunade orders kakashi to drop his teaching work and leave the village on a mission even though a) he’s just gotten out of his own torture-induced coma and b) sasuke is having a crisis that kakashi is trying to manage

and then when kakashi gets back from that mission and finds out that surprise, all of this meddling has led to a disaster, tsunade tries to order him away AGAIN

but this time - he just says no.

he walks right out of her office.  he turns his back on her.  and there is NOTHING i love more than seeing kakashi embody the philosophy that he’s chosen to adopt as his guiding light: those who break the rules are scum.  but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.

it’s not that he doesn’t understand where tsunade is coming from here.  but he knows she’s wrong.  she’s making her decisions based solely on concerns about the Leaf Village being in a tight spot - feeling like they can’t turn down missions because they’ll appear weak and thus become vulnerable to attack when they’re already operating at half strength.  she sends a group of twelve year-olds to bring sasuke back because supposedly the village can’t spare anyone else, “even if it means letting the sharingan fall into orochimaru’s hands” - but like.  it’s not the sharingan.  it’s a child.  sasuke isn’t just a repository for his hereditary jutsu; he’s not a pair of eyes to be passed around from one wielder to the next.  he’s a human child.  

tsunade doesn’t know sasuke.  she’s new to the situation and doesn’t know enough about it to understand how serious it is.  i don’t even think she was still in the village when the uchiha massacre occurred; the timeline makes it sound like she left long before that.  she doesn’t really understand who sasuke is or how much trouble he’s in - she makes her decision because she feels like her first priority has to be the well-being of the Leaf as a whole, not the individual people who comprise it.  kakashi, though, who a) lives his life by a very different philosophy and b) does understand sasuke’s situation, would not have dealt with the issue like this, and if the village had let him do his job from the beginning, things wouldn’t have gotten to this point in the first place.

kakashi is horrified that tsunade sent a bunch of twelve year-olds out to fight orochimaru’s ninja, and i think he’s also probably angry and/or frustrated about having been ordered out of the village in the first place.  he was dealing with the situation before tsunade sent him away.  he interrupted the fight between sasuke and naruto even though he himself had literally just gotten out of the hospital, and then he continued addressing the issue with sasuke privately (unlike jiraiya’s non-attempt to address it with naruto, when he said he was going to give naruto a talking-to but actually flaked out).  kakashi knew sasuke was struggling, and he was doing all the things a teacher is supposed to do to address it, but then he was ordered away, and even though it was just for two days, it was enough time for everything to go to hell.

if people would just let him do his job - if the administration would let him focus on the task they themselves assigned to him - things would be different.  but everybody wants him to do everything.  they want him to be everywhere.  they want him to protect the nine-tails jinchuriki (who is also kakashi’s dead teacher’s son), and train the last surviving uchiha (which is a task only kakashi and his sharingan can perform), and give equal attention to a third kid, for good measure, and they want him to do it without stepping away from any of his other burdens, all while other people around him constantly frustrate the progress he makes.

so this time, when tsunade tries to send him away, he refuses.  he disobeys her orders and walks out of the room.  he doesn’t care about the rules or what he’s “legally” obligated to do.  he knows what the RIGHT thing to do is, and so he rejects his new mission in favor of rescuing the kids.

i love these moments.  i love when we’re shown so clearly the person kakashi has chosen to be - someone who does what’s right, not just what he’s told.  he made an active choice many years ago to adopt that philosophy, and he’s been living by those new rules ever since.  he's wiser now than he was when he was a child - sometimes you have to break ranks to do the right thing.  sometimes you have to buck the system, even if it means you might face severe personal consequences.

he had one of two choices: either save the mission or his comrades.  of course, according to the law of the village, you cannot abandon a mission.  but to save the life of his comrades, he put the mission on hold.

kakashi may have spent a good chunk of his childhood trying to reject everything the subject of that story stood for, but none of his attempts to harden his heart ever stuck.  he is, in the end, his father’s son.

[mokutone]

u posted a snippet of a comic where kakashi was coaxing tenzo to take off his anbu mask, i was wondering if u would ever post the full comic? it seems so sad and sweet and id love to have the full context of why tenz was keeping the mask on and why kk was afraid that he was doing so? if not its okay!

AH i'm surprised you remember that!!!! that feels like ages ago...back in may, i think?

i will post the full comic one day, but i have to ink it and muddle through a color palette first! because ive been so busy, i haven't had time to work on it so the pencils are still at 4/12 pages, but i can share with u what i have atm bc it'd be good to refresh my memory too. be warned obviously that like, these are pencils and not a finished, ready-to-consume product, so many things may be unclear! I'll add a little elaboration of my thoughts at the bottom of each one that should hopefully help!

page one. the top of the page and the box right below it are going to be flat black—the implication that Kakashi is speaking into a room which has no source of light. In the second one, Tenzō's pose is unclear, but he's curled up defensively into as tiny of a ball as he can manage, like a pill bug, even his speech bubbles fall along the outside of him, like he's trying to use them as another defense. In the third, we have Kakashi from Tenzō's POV. He's just opened the door, is standing tall and somewhat rigid like he's expecting an attack, taking in the situation. In the fourth and fifth panels, Tenzō sees this, and turns away, becoming deeply embarrassed that he's come to Kakashi for help at all, and that somebody he respects so much is seeing him in such a "pathetic" moment.

This is the panel you referenced—you can see by Kakashi's posture (low to the ground, loose limbs and no longer stiff or anticipating conflict, keeping a distance between he and tenzō) that he's not actually scared, per se. He's approaching Tenzō with the same gentleness that somebody might use in approaching an injured animal. If he's frightened at all, he's frightened for Tenzō's sake, but mostly he says it because he's having a trouble getting a read on the situation when Tenzō is wearing his mask.

It's true that like, as a former root agent, Tenzō is one of the least expressive people in Konoha, but even still, any movement of his face gives Kakashi more context than the cold porcelain of the cat mask, and walking into an unknown situation with a clearly unwell teammate, Kakashi wants as much context as possible so that he doesn't make the situation worse by accident.

Whether Tenzō complies because he doesn't want Kakashi to feel "scared" or simply because he was given a command is unclear at first, but Immediately after, he starts talking about how he's going to have to be re-evaluated for duty, and how hopsital dodging is a serious problem for a shinobi, etc, indicating that he's not really in a space where he can process emotional consequences very well.

I also make a point of not showing his full face during this page, because a full face will generally ask us to relate to the feelings expressed on the face, and I want those feelings to be as hard to read and unsure as they are for Kakashi in that moment, but I couldn't help but show his eyes when he removes the mask.

Top panel is Tenzo responding to Kakashi's command "let me see it," and him stretching his injured arm out for Kakashi to examine. The second panel should have Kakashi's hands gently grasping Tenzō's. Kakashi doesn't go into his space, and instead asks Tenzō to come into his, so that Tenzō can take his time if he needs it.

Idk, with a shinobi that's Going Through It, pushing their boundaries before they're ready is a good way to make their situation worse, or end up with a kunai in ur gut, so it's not something kakashi's gonna do. It's also, not coincidentally, the first panel we see Tenzō's whole face in (though it's still tilted away), and are therefore asked to try and imagine his feelings.

The next panel where he's observing his shaking hands is almost normal, but then the second he goes right back to covering his face with one of those hands and apologizing, stumbling in his attempt to be open. The two blank panels after that should have Kakashi looking directly at Tenzō, and then looking back down at the wound he's inspecting, and giving Tenzō the verdict "You'll be okay." (i know the speech bubble is low there and looks like it's part of the lower Kakashi panel, but I'll fix that in inks).

Then, like a record caught in a scratch, Tenzō just keeps apologizing, like he's forgotten he can do anything else. Kakashi mistakenly assumes it's because Tenzō thinks Kakashi's mad at him (Tenzō does not think this, both because Kakashi is rarely mad at all, and certainly not at him, and because he doesn't have the emotional space or skills in this moment to consider that Kakashi does feel any particular way about this situation)

Kakashi, who is trying his best but sucks at this kind of thing, is getting frustrated with the apologies, and uncomfortable because it feels like they're directed at him, even though they aren't. It's an unbearably uncomfortable position for him to have somebody apologize so profusely, especially somebody he sees as a trusted teammate and friend, and especially for something that's so clearly out of their control. He doesn't want it.

So, frustrated, he redirects. "What happened on this mission to fuck you up this bad?" the only real indicator of his frustration is that in this sentence his language is more coarse, where before he'd been very placatingly careful, and the expression he makes at Tenzō's arm.

He's thinking "well, this sucks and we're not getting anywhere with it, so I'm just going to ask what happened and get it over with."

Then we see Tenzō's full face again as he takes in the question. Around here, when I add color, the page will begin to shift green, and lighter green near the bottom.

Then, as his hair begins to lift, as though it's floating in water, with a blank face Tenzō will say that he doesn't know what happened.

Then, turning to fully face Kakashi (or us, the viewer) for the first time in these four pages he will correct himself, and say "nothing. nothing happened." But he will be green, and much like within the test tube he was raised in, he will be unclothed and his hair will be floating. The first time we're fully asked (by his direct eye contact) to understand and relate to his feelings, he will make it very clear to us the viewer (and Kakashi who is with us, listening to Tenzō say nothing happened when Clearly Something Happened) that the world he's experiencing for the moment is at odds with the body he's sitting in and the room he's sitting in it with, and that's why he's having such an incredibly difficult time processing anything.