#Just the pale sun. Up 6:57 never down again.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

i banged out another sestina in an inhumanly short amount of time. is it good? no! is it from the heart? absolutely. does it say things i needed to say? in its way.

i wish i could friends lock this tumblr, so i could feel free to post it. it becomes a little too obvious too quick what it's about, and honestly i don't need any bullshit from people who don't either fundamentally understand how my mind works (so like...1 person in the world lol) or care about me and have open minds.

the way people act in this world just grows more and more fucking exhausting.

[jaxsteamblog]

Flirt

Click here to read the entire fic on AO3

Katara straightened her crown in the mirror, turning her head side to side to make sure it was straight. Her wavy hair had resisted the pin, and the thickness certainly fought the top knot, but she had eventually managed to get the thing on.

“Are you sure it doesn’t look silly?” She asked.

Zuko came into view behind her, sliding his hands around her sides to hold her lightly. 

“As silly as mine does in modern clothes.” He replied and kissed her soundly on the cheek.

“I don’t think it’s made for hair like mine.” She muttered.

“Sounds like a design flaw, not a you flaw.” 

“Mmm.”

“Mmm?”

“MMM.”

Zuko kissed her cheek again and backed away. The loops usually at the side of her face had been pulled back to start a simple sort of braid. The beads were still present, and she was wearing her necklace, but the crown stood out as an accessory.

“I know it’s a flame, but doesn’t it look a bit like a crescent moon?” He asked.

“That’s a stretch.” Katara said.

Skittering claws came into the room and Katara turned as Druk bounded toward her. He was less than a year old but already the size of an adult owl cat. His wings were still clumsy and he could only fly short distances, yet his legs were powerful enough to send him racing down hallways.

He terrified the palace staff and greatly annoyed the also still alarmingly growing Mister Whiskers. 

“Don’t.” Zuko warned both Katara and Druk. Both of them ignored him and Druk launched himself at Katara, making her stagger as she caught him.

“He can’t jump up on people like that.” Zuko grumbled. “It’s poor manners.”

“Aww, my sweet baby just wants attention.” Katara cooed, rubbed her nose against Druk’s snout. He smelled like soot and heat, and Katara cuddled his chest close to her face. He nipped at her crown and Zuko sighed in annoyance.

“A dragon shouldn’t be carried like a toddler. It’s undignified.” He said finally and Katara turned to him. 

“How dare you say such a thing about our boy.” She said. 

“This is why he’s a brat when you’re gone.” 

“Of course, he misses his momma.” 

“You both are deranged.” 

Katara kissed Druk’s scaly head and set him down. The dragon hopped indignantly, blowing out bursts of flame.

“You know he’s going to be a terror when we have actual children.” Zuko said, holding out his arm. Katara linked to him and held on with her other hand.

“Why do we even need anymore? Let’s just crown Druk and the Fire Nation can have an actual dragon as it’s Fire Lord instead of making up all these fancy honorifics for you.” Katara said.

“If history is any indication, they might not tell the difference.” He agreed.

Walking out of their bedroom, Druk followed them closely. Having returned with a dragon, the court and the city of Caldera had changed its attitude toward Zuko. The rest of the world still thought dragons were extinct, so Druk was a miracle bestowed to their Fire Lord as a sign from the spirits. As they had all sworn an oath never to speak of Ran and Shaw, no one disabused people of that notion. 

Now, even the prime minister had quelled his adversarial politics. 

Ozai and Azula both had been recorded as having thrown massive fits about it. 

Katara and Zuko headed toward the ballroom, watching with wry amusement as the staff jumped out of Druk’s way. When they reached the massive double doors, Katara called Druk and held him again, knowing that he didn’t do very well in large groups of people. 

“Fire Lord, Fire Lady.” A member of the house staff jumped when he opened the door, seeing the royal couple on the other side. 

“We wanted to see how everything was progressing.” Zuko said.

The man glanced at Druk, curled in Katara’s arms and she smiled back at him. 

Being favored by a dragon was also helping her image at the palace as well.

“Of course.” The man said, stepping to the side. 

Katara followed Zuko inside and looked around. While Zuko himself wasn’t overly interested in celebrating his birthday, there were expectations for the Fire Lord. These expectations somehow included the Water Tribe Ambassador rearranging all of the flowers. 

A sour faced man approached them, bowing obviously to Zuko and leaving Katara in her place at his side.

“Is everything to your liking, Fire Lord?” He asked.

Zuko turned to Katara and idly scratched Druk’s crest. 

“Lady wife?” He asked.

“Yes?”

“Everything pales in comparison to the luminary beauty of yourself. I am unable to adequately judge these offerings with you standing so close to me.” 

Katara smiled and had to keep herself from laughing.

“How can I do any better? The light of your loveliness blinds me to anything else.” She remarked. 

“My most prudent and beloved queen, I beg that you give me some words to describe this room that does not degrade your glittering visage.”

“Oh honorable husband, for that you would have to leave my sight and I could not bear to stand in such darkness.”

“I think,” The sour faced man said bitterly. “I will have to trust the Fire Lady’s most esteemed brother then?”

“Sokka is a marvel, I think that might be best.” Katara said, wrinkling her nose and giving the man a patronizing look. 

The man bowed to them both and walked back to the activity. Zuko did laugh softly then and Katara turned back to him.

“Light of my loveliness?” He asked.

“Glittering visage?” She countered.

“Hey, the words may have been stuffy, but they were still true.” He replied.

“So what words would you really use?” Katara asked. 

“Hmm,” Zuko thought and took some of her hair in his hands. He stared at it as he rolled the strands under his fingers.

“I would start by saying how devious fate must be to make my love part ocean spirit as I most certainly am in danger of drowning when you’re around.” He started and twirled her hair around his fingers. “You take my breath away, but also, there are times when I don’t feel like coming up for air.”

“Zuko!” Katara whispered sharply, her face heating up in a flash. 

Zuko only smiled and released her hair.

“I would say that thank the spirits you’re brilliant because I lose all sense when I look at your face, because your beauty is enough to make a fool of any man.” He continued. “And I’d quite like an opportunity to play the fool soon.”

“Spirits, you are brazen.” Katara said with a laugh. Her grip on Druk tightened and he squeaked in annoyance. 

“Sorry Druk, I’m displacing you as your mother’s favorite.” Zuko said and scratched Druk’s neck. 

“You are always my favorite.” Katara said. “No matter what season it is in the Poles, I only feel like the sun has returned when I’m with you.” 

“I don’t see how I can compare when you are always the one lighting up the room.” 

“I wish I could paint with ink the same shade as your hair so I could write every character with the same kind of elegance.” 

“I wish I could train birds to sing in the same notes as your laughter so I could hear your joy every morning.”

“My laughter? I wish I could keep your voice with me because it soothes me better than the sound of a far off thunderstorm.” 

“I am going to vomit all over the floor if you two don’t stop.” Sokka interjected.

Katara lowered her face, blushing, but Zuko chuckled.

“Aw come on! They were being really cute!” Thuy added as she approached from behind them.

The twins that hung around Thuy, who Zuko swore were harmless, watched them with different levels of interest. Suzu looked gleeful while Zula looked bored. Or mildly irritated. She was harder to read.

“I see my wife every other season. You’re lucky we’re out of our rooms at all.” Zuko said.

“Zuko!” Katara blurted while the three teenage girls burst out laughing. Sokka only sighed and tapped the heel of his hand against his forehead. 

“Can we play with Druk, Auntie?” Thuy asked, changing the subject.

“Please.” Katara said, holding Druk out even as he clung to her in protest. “He needs to potty.”

“Thank you Auntie!” Thuy said and forcefully took the dragon, running off with him before he could break free of her grip. Suzu jogged after her and Zula walked stoically after. 

“Okay you two, try to focus for long enough to look at these terrible centerpieces.” Sokka said. “I think I’ve managed to salvage them.”

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[acotartogfan]

Send a ship and #!

New year, new prompt list!

Since I getting bored of the first one, I made an entirely new one with new prompts.

Some Things to Note: [Read]

pick a prompt(s) and a ship*and send it to my ask box and i will write a drabble for you!

PLEASE SPECIFY WHICH PROMPT LIST YOU ARE ASKING FROM***

*i specialize in Nessian (angst) from A Court of Thorns and Roses, but I write for Throne of Glass too)

Links in case you need them: Askbox | Prompt List #1 (fluffier prompts)

If you like my work, send me more prompts! It inspires and encourages me to keep writing, and it gets the creativity juices flowing as well :)

1. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

2. “We could have had a future together.”

3. “Absolutely not. That is way too dangerous.” - “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

4. “Calm down.” - “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down!”

5. "you're not broken"

6. “You’ve changed.”

7.  “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

8.  “But it’s my fault right?”

9. “I don’t want to feel this. I want to be numb again.”

10. “You’re lying to me again. Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?” 

11. “I can’t lose you.” - “You already did.”

12. “Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?”

13. “Maybe they were right, you never did change.” 

14. “How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?”

15. “What gives you the right to just waltz back into my life after all the pain you’ve caused.”

16. “Don’t you dare walk away from this!”

17. “Any other lies left to tell me?”

18. “Let me go.”

19. “I would’ve done anything for you.”

20. “I loved you. I loved you so so much but you hurt me.”

21. “Sorry doesn’t fix everything.”

22. “Leave.”

23. “I can’t keep playing pretend.”

24. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

25. “It’s pouring rain why are you here?”

26. “I love you.” “You shouldn’t.”

27. “Where were you when I needed you?”

28. “Take my hand. Just trust me.”

29. “You’re safe now, I’m here.”

30. “You made me a better person. Thank you.” 

31. “I’m pretty sure (you’re/she’s/he’s/they’re) my soulmate”

32. “You are my family.”

33. “Kiss me.”

34. “Can we take this home?”

35. “You look happy.” 

36. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

37. "What are you smiling about?"

38. "Do you even care anymore?"

39. “Are you ok? You sound like you’ve been gargling glass.”

40. “She/he/they was nothing to you, was she/he/they? Then prove it.”

41. “He’s the only person left! He’s the only thing I’ve got, the last good thing in my life!”

42. “I had it under control! I had a plan!”

43. “So none of it was real? You didn’t mean any of it?”

44. “I could kiss you right now!” - “You’re very welcome to do it.”

45. "Whoa. Easy, easy. I've got you."

46. “what about us?”

47. “And that makes it okay?”

48.  “How is this my fault?” 

49. “Let go of me.” 

50. “Your eyes are really pretty now that I’ve gotten a closer look.” 

51. “Can you just make a decision? Please?”

52. “Don’t look at me! I’m a mess!”

53. “If you want to leave, we can leave.”

54. “Stars pale in comparison to you.”

55. “I would give up everything for the chance to see your laugh again.”

56. “Everything about you is amazing to me.” 

57. “are you sure this is legal?”

58. “You're supposed to be washing my hair, but this feels more like a massage.”

59. "I trusted you."

60. "You're dead to me."

61. “Sleep is for the weak.”

62. “Need a ride?”

63. “You can have Manhattan. I’ll go somewhere else?”

64. “That’s a terrible book,” - “What are you talking about? It’s my favorite!”

65. “Running doesn’t matter. I’ll hunt you down if I have to.”

66. “Are you going to stop me?”

67. “Did the power just cut so?” - “I think so. Help me look for the candles?”

68. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

69. “Do you really need all that candy?”

70. “Why are you here?”

71. “I can’t keep doing this anymore.”

72. “We're falling apart and you don't even care!”

73. “Do not call your child a raisin!”

74. “I’ll choose her happiness over mine every time.” 

75. “Kind of a pretty boy, isn’t he?” 

76. “What is that?” - “A cake, obviously.” - “Does it taste like cake?” “...No.”

77. “Can we take it home?” - “It looks more like a rat than anything.” - “Please?”

78. “You and me against the world, remember?”

79. “I can braid your hair for you…if you’d like.”

80. “I will always choose you.”

81. “You can’t have her and it’s killing you inside.”

82. “Just a few…more…lines…” - “You’ve been at it all night. Take a break.”

83. “He is very dreamy, but he is not the sun. You are.”

84. “You have yourself wrapped in thorns, and then you hate everyone who tries to touch you.”

85. “You loved her…that’s not a weakness, that’s a virtue.”

86. “Being like this, it’s torture. Sometimes I wish I could just turn it off. Turn it all off.”

87. “You don’t have to carry the weight of the world all by yourself, you know?”

88. “(Name)?” - “Yeah?” - “I’m gonna kiss you now.” - “Okay.”

89. “We’re a mess, you and I.”

90. “Just stay. We can figure everything else out later. Right now, just stay.”

91. “I prefer the view from up there.”

92. “Away you three inch fool.”

93.  “Tell me a lie.” - “I love you.”

94. “Please, I am begging you. No more lies.”

95.  “You’ve suffered through enough.”

96. “You think you gave me some sort of gift? You took a messed up girl and turned her into a broken woman.”

97. “I’m eating because I’m very uncomfortable.”

98. “Here, let me hold that for you.”

99. “It’s over. They’re not going to hurt you again.”

100. “___, please come. I’m sick.” “You’re what? I can’t hear you.” - “I said I’m sick!”

Send these into my askbox and I’d be more than happy to answer them!

[whatyouandihave-makesmefree]

How to say “I love you” without actually saying it - or 137 Milkovichy ways to say “I fuckin’ love Ian Clayton Gallagher”.

1. Kiss me, and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.

2. I’ll meet you there in 20.

3. You say that again, I’ll rip your tongue out of your head.

4. Take your hand off the glass.

5. You wanna chit chat more or you wanna get on me?

6. Fuckin’ tough guy, huh?

7. Jesus Christ, you want us to spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?

8. Sorry, I gotta go kill your dad, but I’m doing a lot of people a favor, including you.

9. -I missed you-  You did?  -Yeah, man.-

10. So, uh, what you going down for, then, huh?

11. Don’t know what you see in that geriatric viagroid.

12. -You fuck anyone in there yet?-  God, no.  -Wise choice.-

13. Hey, my dad took my brothers on a run out of town for a couple days, so you wanna ditch that dump and crash at my place, you can.

14. Fuck you, is what you were invited to.

15. What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? I’m gonna chase after you like some bitch?

16. -Don’t.-  Don’t what?  -Just…-

17. -You seen him?-  Why do you care?  -Don’t.-

18. You heard from Gallagher?

19. Not fucking Frank. The other one, the redhead.

20. I like fucking carrot-tops, like, with the freckles and the pale skin and fucking alien-looking.

21. He in trouble? What kind of trouble?

22. You wearing cologne?  -No. It’s Kenyatta’s perfume soap shit.-

23. I gotta take care of something important.

24. No, I’m not having fun. I spent the whole day looking for your coked-out ass.

25. You coming back?

26. I’ll do it.

27. Those fingers go anywhere near that cock, I’m gonna break every knuckle in your hand, all 15 of them.

28. Together.

29. That all you think he is? Some twink?

30. Probably best if you don’t, tough guy.

31. Of course we are.

32. You want me to go?  -No, I don’t want you to go.-

33. I’m not lying to you.

34. Ian, what you and I have makes me free, not what these assholes know.

35. Well, good. Leave. What the hell do I care, bitch? Fuck.

36. Hey! Excuse me! Can I get everybody’s attention, please? I just want everybody here to know I’m fucking gay. A big old ‘mo. I just thought everybody should know that. You happy now?

37. Fuck you! Don’t worry about it! I’ve been staying at Ian’s since you’ve been in the can, bitch! Guess what we’ve been doing, daddy! We’ve been fucking! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard, and I fucking like it.

38. You’re a fucking dick. Yeah, there. That’s what you get.

39. You love him?  -Maybe. I don’t know.-  Because he has a real penis?  -Yeah, I guess.-

40. Rise and fucking shine, Cinderella.

41. Yo, sleepy-face.

42. Hey, you okay? Feeling sick or something?

43. All right, you want me to bring you back something to eat?

44. Ian, are you high? You take something?

45. Fuck’s wrong with him?

46. Before, he was fine. He was happy. He’s staying up all hours of the night, dancing, telling fucking jokes. He kicks my ass every day. I can’t keep up with him.

47. No, no, look. He– he’s low… We cheer him up.

48. What do you mean, hos– Like a psych ward? No fucking way! No fucking way! He’s staying here.

49. I can– I can take care of him. Okay? Let me take care of him until he’s better.

50. Don’t fucking tell me what’s impossible! We’re taking care of him here. You, me, us. His fucking family.

51. He’s not going to some fucking nut house. You hear me? He stays here. He’s staying with me.

52. I’ll be there.  -Better be.-

53. All right. I guess I’m going with you.

54. She’ll send him to a fucking shrink. No. We fix this ourselves.

55. I came out for you, you piece of shit.

56. What’s your type?  -Redhead.-  I am downstairs.  -Batshit crazy.-  Check.  -Packing 9 inches.-

57. I got to take you to a hospital, Ian.

58. I’m worried about you.

59. His partner. Lover? Family? You know?

60. At least he’ll be getting some kind of fucking help.

61. Relationship to the patient?  -Sister.-   -You?-  -Uh, boyfriend.-

62. Hey. Sorry I’m late.

63. We gotta get you to a fucking clinic. Get some meds. Today.

64. Hey, it’s okay. It’s all right.

65. He’s not a fucking lab rat.

66. He’s got me.

67. Hey, Ian’s sleeping in there.

68. All right, breakfast of champs. We got your mood stabilizer, anti-psychotic, anti-depressant. Gatorade.

69. Shut the fuck up. Take the pills, bitch.

70. Hey, no caffeine on your meds.

71. Eat it. Take all those pills on an empty stomach and you’re going to have diarrhea real bad.

72. I didn’t know which Bs to get, so I just got all the fucking Bs. I got B-complex, super B-complex, B-12, B-6.

73. The hell happened to your hand?

74. Did a doctor take care of that?

75. You can’t go anywhere unless you get that looked at, man.

76. Your hand, man.

77. No, no. Look, you’re not supposed to drink on lithium. It makes your blood fucking toxic, and it gets you hammered in like two seconds flat. You can’t-

78. You look like a fucking wet rat.

79. We’re going on a date.  -Fuck, yes, we are.-

80. Where the fuck are you?

81. Where the fuck you been? 

82. You okay?

83. It means we take care of each other.

84. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

85. You look good.

86. Got a new tattoo. Did it myself. Hurt like a son of a bitch.

87. Been thinking about you. You ever think of me? Gonna wait for me?

88. Will you? Wait?

89. You like the high school bleachers? Our spot, man.

90. Look, I’m, um I’m getting some new IDs, some cash, and heading to Mexico.-  Wow.  -You should come.-

91. Thought a lot about you inside. You’re under my skin, man. The fuck can I do? Hmm? Can I do?

92. Knew you’d come. 

93. Come here.

94. I’m gonna see you again?

95. The fuck you looking at?

96. It’s what kept me going in the joint. The beach. Us.

97. Oh, check it out. Ian Gallagher putting his big boy pants on!

98. You never fucking visited me.

99. What am I leaving behind? My family? Who cares I never see those shitheads again. You had my back more than they ever did.

100. You ever think about me? When I was in the joint?

101. Fuck, I missed you.

102. What the fuck is that? I don’t want your fucking money! I want you to come with– me.

103. Don’t do this.

104. Fuck you, Gallagher.

105. I rolled on the cartel I was working for, and in exchange, guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?

106. No, I just did it ‘cause it was the right thing.

107. Would you be fucking happy?  -Yes, fuck, yes!-

108. I guess I need some advice. It’s about my partner, Ian.

109. You’re not throwing your fuckin’ parole for me. We need to get you the hell outta this shit-hole.

110. You don’t belong in here, Gallagher.

111. I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.

112. FaceTime your brother. See the baby.

113. You seen Ian?

114. About time, man. Your Panda Express is getting cold.

115. Eat your Szechuan beans.

116. Chill your fucking tits and eat your noodles, man.

117. Let’s get out of here, get some Pinkberry.

118. No. No. I’m not running. I need to protect him.

119. Jesus Christ. You proposing to me over fucking patty melts?

120. Fuck it. I do.

121. When you know, you know. You know?

122. No, just saying you don’t love me enough now. And that’s fine. It’s cool.

123. Jesus Christ, save the fucking speech, you pussy. I’ll marry you. Of course I’ll fucking marry you.

124. You must really love cock.  -I definitely love one.-

125. You ever try to get me to move to Milwaukee, I’ll fuckin’ murder you.

126. Hey, I like the blue ones.  -Yeah?- 

127. You sure you still wanna go through with this?  -Yes. Why?-

128. You’re a sneaky bastard.

129. -Take your meds?-  Yes.  -Good.-

130. The son of a bitch is never gonna let me be happy. He needs to die today.

131. Well, there’s plenty of strays wandering around the neighborhood. I’m sure we can pick one up for cheap.

132. Yeah, well, at least I don’t have to hide in a coffin till the sun goes down.

133. Damn straight, Gallagher.

134. I, Mikhailo, take you, Ian, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,  to love and to cherish you till death do us part.

135. Good morning, Mr - Millagher?

136. You hungry?

137. You wanna go again?  -Absolutely.-

[beans-tacos]

Party Time| Agent Torres Short Story

It was late in the afternoon. The sun was setting, the street lights began to shine through out Los Angeles.

Most of everyone were ready to go home and live their lives. Agent Torres was in his office writing down a few notes for a case him and his partner have been working on. It's never a pleasant thing to do, especially with his partner Agent Cooper. Torres and Cooper aren't exactly friends nor do they get along pretty well. Torres tries his best to be nice towards Cooper. But sometimes it doesn't work out. They've known each other for the longest time. Torres knows him better than anyone else, usually because Cooper somewhat opens up to him. He never really talks about his childhood. All he says was "His father was a dick." Torres didn't question him any further.

Torres had finished with the notes and basically organized his things. He heard footsteps coming closer to his office. He recognized those footsteps but he decided to just not acknowledge them.

"Ah! Torres there ya are!"

That voice..... It just made Torres cringe a bit.... He took a quick glance at his partner, Agent Cooper.

"Shouldn't you be heading home by now? It's already past 6...." Torres said as he rolled his eyes.

"Well I was heading out until I remembered to tell you something" Cooper said with a chuckle.

Torres decided to finally look at him. Cooper was an average height. His hair was weirdly parted to the side and his eyes always looked angry.

"What is it this time???." Torres signed.

"Well," He began "I was wondering if you wanted to come to a party down at Beverly Hills with me."

Torres' not the type of person who goes out and party. He gets really anxious whenever a place gets really crowded or really loud. So he just stays at home and does his own things.

"Alright fine.... I'll go for a little while" Torres said with a deep sigh.

Cooper looked at him with a smirk that most douchebags give.

"I'll pick you up at 7:30, you better be looking pretty," He said as he walked out of Torres' office.

Torres rolled his eyes. He grabbed his belongings and headed out through the glass doors.

It was pretty windy outside. Torres walked up his car. He owned a pretty good car. It was black and somewhat clean but it ran like a dream. He unlocked his car and headed inside. He sat there for a good 5 seconds. Torres turned on the engine and drove off.

~~~

He laid on his bed letting out a loud breath. Torres stared at his ceiling and started thinking if he actually wanted to go to the damn party. He searched in his closet, hoping to find a somewhat decent outfit to wear. He's never been the type of guy to impress anyone other than his boss. Once he finally found something to wear, he ironed his clothes and put them on. He sprayed some cologne and fixed his hair.

"Hope this looks fine at the party," he said to himself.

He sat at his couch and took a glance at his wrist watch. 6:57.... It read. Torres rested his head on his hand and decided to go on his social media.

"Eh.... Nothing new...." He said.

He heard a vehicle pull up near his house. Torres looked out his window and saw a familiar car. Cooper owned a really nice car. Everything seemed to be in place and the paint looked hella fresh.

"Agent Torres! Get your ass out here!" He yelled as he honked his car.

Torres let out a deep sigh. He grabbed his jacket and headed out. He walked up to his partner's car and stood there as Cooper rolled down the window. Cooper whistled at him as if Torres was some weird girl hooker off the streets.

"Wow Ryan!" He chuckled, "You really did it this time."

"Oh shut it! It's nothing special...." Torres said sounding very annoyed.

Cooper just chuckled and watched him get inside his ride. Torres put on his seatbelt and just looked out the window.

~~~

They pulled up near a very strange looking house. It was two stories and was in pretty good condition. Cooper stared at Torres for what felt like forever.

"Are you going to be okay Torres??" He asked trying not to sound sarcastic.

Torres rolled his eyes and stepped out of his partner's car. Cooper followed Torres to the house. Once they were inside of the house, Torres already started feeling anxious. There were a group of people dancing, another group drinking, a couple of people making out in a corner. People everywhere.....

"Hey Cooper!" A man shouted in the distance. "Nice to see you man, who's this lovely gentleman you got here??"

Cooper placed his armed around Torres and pulled him closer.

"This is my boyfriend, Ryan Torres..... We work for the FBI," Cooper said with a chuckle.

"We're not.... Dating at all.... He just gets really excited when we both do something that I clearly don't want to do....." Torres said making it obvious that he's annoyed.

"Chill out Torres, Just messin' with ya," Cooper said with a chuckle.

Torres walked away from the conversation and was heading out near the balcony until he heard a loud pop that almost sounded like a gun shot. Torres froze, he saw everything around him in slow motion. His heart began to pound really fast and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He heard muffled yelling coming from behind him.

Torres! Torres!

Cooper ran up to him and shook him trying to get him to react.

"Dude! Are you okay?? Your skin turned so pale," He said sounding worried.

Torres took a deep breath and started to feel like himself again.

"I'm fine Cooper.... I'm heading out," He said as he smacked Cooper's hands off him.

~~~

Torres stood at the balcony, watching the beautiful view of the city. He heard footsteps approaching him.

"Hey! Torres, Thought you might be a wee bit thirsty so I brought you a drink." Cooper said with a chuckle.

He decided not to respond nor look at his drunk partner. Everytime they would both go out to "celebrate" Cooper would go ahead and drink as much as he could until he passed out on the ground. He was a real party animal that everyone hated.

"What happened back there Torres? You just kinda.... Froze there for a second.... And you turned so pale....." Cooper said.

"I rather not speak of it Jordan...." He said sounding a bit harsh.

"Eh well... We're all friends here... You can tell me anything...." Cooper said while giggling.

"You're not my friend.... You'll never be my friend Jordan.... Simple as that." Torres said sounding angry.

Cooper stood there looking like a lost puppy.

"Ah c'mon Torres don't be like that.... It ain't my fault that you can't handle going to parties... You always... Chicken out," He said sounding frustrated.

"I have PTSD! Jordan.... Maybe if you weren't such a huge douchebag.... You would of understand....." Torres yelled.

It went silent for what felt like forever. Then Torres broke the silence.

"I'm going home.... You can stay here and do whatever the fuck you want...." He said.

"Look man I'm sorry I didn't mean t-"

"It don't matter Jordan... Just... Forget about it okay??" Torres cut him off.

Torres walked away from his drunk partner. He didn't look back at him. Cooper's hands turned into fists. He felt his blood boil through his veins. He slammed his fists against the railing multiple times.

"God dammit! You stupid son of a bitch!" He yelled. "You just had to screw everything up didn't ya!?"

He began to sob.

~~~

Torres sat in the back seat of the taxi in complete silence. He just couldn't stop thinking about his partner. He did say some pretty harsh things to Cooper. He just hopes that he knows that he didn't mean those things. Just the look Cooper got when Torres was having an anxiety attack. He was hella worried. Although he may seem like a cold hearted douchebag, he does care about him. He may not show it as much but deep down Torres knows that he does. A warm tear ran down Torres' face. He quickly wiped it away with his sleeve of his jacket.

Once he got home, he sat down at his couch and took out his phone. He was debating whether he should text Cooper to make sure he's okay or to just not do it..... Torres decided to just let it rest until they both figure out something.

He laid on his back and rested his arm against he eyes.

He waited for the next day to kick in.....

(Writer's notes: This may be horrible but I honestly don't care.... I never post anything about my ocs but I guess I write now?? These 2 ocs are super old, I made them back in like 2016 or 2017 I can't remember..... I rewrote them to be less fandom based Ocs)

[eddycurrents]

The Crooked Man & Others: “The Crooked Man”

Words: Mike Mignola | Art: Richard Corben | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Clem Robins

Originally published by Dark Horse in Hellboy: The Crooked Man #1-3 | July-September 2008

Collected in Hellboy - Volume 10: The Crooked Man & Others | Hellboy Library Edition - Volume 4 | Hellboy: Complete Short Stories - Volume 1

Plot Summary:

In 1958, Hellboy travels to the Appalachian Mountains where he and Tom Farrell try to weather a storm of witches to bury Farrell’s father on consecrated grounds and beat the devil.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is solely in reference to the story itself and is not indicative of anything found within the issues or collections.)

pg. 1 - I love that during this period of Hellboy stories, where Duncan Fegredo became Mignola’s stand-in for the tales set in the present, the main visuals for the past tales was Richard Corben. Corben is a master of horror and weird tales himself and the collaborations with Mignola, Dave Stewart, and Clem Robins on Hellboy legends were gorgeous. Here in the opening, he and Stewart wonderfully set the rich detail of the nature in this story.

pg. 3 - It’s kind of interesting as to how simple the set up is to get Hellboy into the story. Just checking in on a poor girl who’s been hexed.

pg. 5 - Tom Farrell is mostly a stand-in for Manly Wade Wellman’s character Silver John, a veteran with knowledge of the supernatural, albeit without lugging around a guitar. The little bits and pieces Mignola throws in of Hellboy’s past in passing conversation is nice.

pg. 6 - Chekhov’s church being set up here.

pg. 7 - More witch balls confirms their suspicions. I think these ones are pretty interesting, looking more like sea urchins. 

pg. 9 - The empty skin sure is creepy.

pg. 10 - I love the silence before Hellboy goes into asking Tom a question about his past.

pg. 11 - Never trust the naked girl luring you to the devil. Never. Though, to be fair, it’s interesting the parallels to Eve’s temptation of Adam, if Adam were a lustful fifteen year old boy. Sometimes, I wish, though, that they didn’t necessarily trade off a woman’s sexuality as a taboo.

pg. 13 - Corben’s design for the Crooked Man is amazing. Just creepy and frightening all in one. It’s also neat how Mignola weaves in some backstory for the area, building up the lore of the Appalachians by telling another tall tale within this narrative.

pg. 10-15 - I quite like how these flashbacks are presented. Other than the panels with the Crooked Man’s death, there’s really only a minor softening to the colours, but the indication of a flashback is through a simple rounding of the panel border’s corners.

pg. 16 - This raccoon is adorable. Sure, I know it’s Cora Fisher as an animal crawling back into her vacant skin, but adorable little raccoon.

pg. 17 - The death of her husband and her kids does at least make her sympathetic.

pg. 19 - Effie Kolb, on the other hand, just seems nasty.

pg. 22 - The bridle turning Tom’s father into a horse is a pretty neat trick. Horrifying, yeah, and debilitating for Tom to see him that way, but it’s a kind of evil of these witches and the devil that you didn’t necessarily expect. A way to drive a needle into Tom’s side in an unexpected fashion.

pg. 23 - A good set up for the quest up the mountain, and Hellboy’s inclusion.

pg. 24 - I like Tom’s intent on getting Cora free from her deal with the devil. These pretty much never work out, but it’s at least a nice sentiment.

pg. 25 - Tom’s father as a burden that he must carry himself is representative of one of the themes that often appear in these kinds of Americana tales, in that you have to own your own foibles and face the consequences. Lest things turn worse for you.

pg. 29 - This mixture of American folktale, history, and what I believe is largely Mignola’s own invention to give us another little side story is wonderful. It’s always impressive to see him embellish little details into the broader narrative. Also, Corben’s designs for these witches are terrifying.

pg. 30 - That they’re calling Cora by name just adds to the creep factor.

pg. 31 - That the passage of time seems to be affected by the presence of the devil and the evil that’s seeped into the land is interesting as well. That their presence could essentially fix darkness at noon is kind of neat.

pg. 33 - There’s a bit here that you can’t outrun fate, that you still have to pay for the evil that you’ve done.

pg. 35 - Hellboy versus these frogs and bugs makes my skin crawl, just showing how effective the storytelling is. Corben is a master at drawing these creepy crawlers.

pg. 38 - That’s some nightmare fuel. The vision overall, reinforcing the idea that the devil can’t set foot in a church put forth in the first part of the story, again seems to foreshadow something that might occur.

pg. 39 - Clem Robins’ font for Effie’s laughter has a nice haunting effect.

pg. 40 - Even with what they’ve faced so far, I love the feeling of dread that Corben and Stewart instill through the art, just through a simple moon shot.

pg. 42 - This is at least a little comfort. Despite her death, Cora still escaped the clutches of the devil.

pg. 44 - I think it’s interesting in a lot of horror and fantasy fiction that treats witches almost as though they’re a different class of being. That whatever it is that they become, they’re not quite human. At least, not any more. I suppose it could be a way to essentially other them, to make it all right when the heroes in the stories ultimately kill, burn, and/or destroy them utterly during the course of a story. Rather than thinking that someone can be redeemed of their wicked ways.

pg. 45 - Two neat things here: first, Corben’s designs for the witches are nice. Love the variety and detail among them. Second, I like the question of faith and belief in regards to whether or not magic will or will not work.

pg. 47 - The Crooked Man come to collect his due is an amazing visual.

pg. 48 - Wonderful little cut away on how to make a witch ball. This is both hilarious and frightening when you look at that cat closely.

pg. 49 - Just as there’s the idea common in folklore that the devil always tells the truth, there’s a certain logic and fairness to what the Crooked Man is saying. A deal was made, services were rendered, and now he’s here to collect on his end of the bargain. It is ultimately weighted unfairly in his favour, given that the immortal soul is a real quantity in Hellboy, but there’s the idea that he’s not really wrong planted here.

pg. 50 - The idea of a witch siege of a church is different.

pg. 52 - The witches essentially punking Hellboy is funny.

pg. 53 - The reverend not taking any guff from the Crooked Man is one hell of a mood. Also, trying to bribe him in order to get Tom out of the church and off the consecrated ground is really a tell.

pg. 55 - There’s a nice parallel to Job in the reverend’s temptation and acceptance of his tribulations.

pg. 56 - Taking a different approach of raising the dead within the consecrated ground is something new. The Crooked Man and the witches can’t seem to cross, but their magic does seem to still be able to cause things to manifest and change. Which kind of makes you wonder why they don’t just whip up some kind of spell that whisks Tom off to their clutches. You get the impression that maybe he has to willingly give up.

pg. 57-60 - I like that through this we still get an almost standard Hellboy fight sequence. It’s weird with the raised corpses from the church graveyard, but it looks great.

pg. 61 - Cute little young Hellboy. Also, the Crooked Man trying to get to Hellboy through his destiny is definitely going to wind up in a backlash.

pg. 63 - Consecrating a holy shovel sure does beat all.

pg. 65 - Defeating the devil with a shovel, that sure is something. I love how this panel of the strike basically just goes all white.

pg. 67 - Gorgeous panels from Corben and Stewart. Also, time appears to be working again.

pg. 68 - Interesting that despite fulfilling the quest of burying Tom’s father,  they realize that their job’s not done and they still have to really kill the Crooked Man.

Also, that Cora is still there is somewhat sad. You would hope that she’d have moved on.

pg. 69 - The appearance of a stately mansion in the middle of the Appalachians is weird. It just reinforces the idea that the Crooked Man, in life, lived one of opulence and extravagance.

pg. 70 - And his “true” appearance, hoarding his gold, is both pathetic and creepy.

pg. 72 - A humorous and fitting end to Effie Kolb.

Final Thoughts:

In part it was due to giving a lot of lead time to Duncan Fegredo in order to wrap up the present-day Arthurian trilogy in The Storm and The Fury without too incredibly long breaks in between issues, but I quite liked the somewhat parallel approach to the final three volumes of the original Hellboy series and the Plague of Frogs narrative cycle for BPRD. Both features two volumes that focused on the past before diving into the grand finales.

As per his introductory statements to this story, Mike Mignola wears the influence of Manly Wade Wellman on his sleeve. Not just through the feel of the Silver John stories, but the overall feel of his down home weird Americana within the Appalachians. More so than similar stories from Nathaniel Hawthorne, Ambrose Bierce, and Robert E Howard, Wellman’s stories exhibited a kind of matter-of-factness that’s missing from the others. The supernatural and oddities in the world are almost accepted as a given, something as normal as the sun rising, which carries over well into Hellboy stories since Mignola has developed a similar aesthetic. So witches running around as raccoons and devils who appear as a dead, greedy landowner that used to cause problems for the area.

d. emerson eddy has danced with the devil in the pale of the moonlight.

[theairportau]

the airport AU, part 130 by rjdaae and hopsjollyhigh

Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100 101, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10 111, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29

—

ERIK

Her voice wraps around him, gleaming silk ribbons that catch light like prisms and send stars scattering across his vision; he shuts his eyes for the sake of focusing on the piano below his fingers. Still, it sits like a reassuring arm across his shoulder. This is why he believed in this voice; it isn’t technical perfection, but there is some unteachable passion in it, something that he doesn’t even understand himself. Her voice stirs something deep inside of him, the frail pieces that he has locked up for their own protection, things that he has forgotten himself capable of over the course of a too-long life. It is a wall so industriously built that he had thought it permanent, but when she sings, it is as if she is chipping out a window. A window that may someday become a door, that may someday bring down that wall- it’s too soon for all of that, but his heart throbs with things that he can’t name, and he is too caught up in the wonder and beauty of it all to be afraid of the freedom, the sudden ease of breathing. As if he’d been holding his breath, not just for a few minutes, but for decades of his life.

He is quite convinced that he could listen to her sing forever, especially this joyous passage. It almost feels like an intrusion, but at the very least, the words of Vaudémont’s interjection feel right-

“Yes! It’s true! You speak the truth!”

The conviction in his voice- she has brought him the truth, bathed his dim world in light; perhaps, like Vaudémont, he had begun this journey as a teacher, as though he knew more than her- and every day, she has pushed him, challenged him, changed his way of looking at the world. His way of looking at her. Vaudémont had been arrogant, to assume that this young woman knew any less of the world than he did; he had been unchanging in his ability to perceive the world until Iolanta described the way she saw it.

These things come to him rapid-fire, moments of clarity that hit him and spark at him before fading back into the background, before thought sinks away and the music rises up again.

Oh, you’re right! In your heart shines the great torch of truth, and before it, our earthly light is fleeting and pitiful!

Any light he’s ever seen has paled in comparison to the radiance that seems to bounce between them now, the vibrating energy that draws the song forward and through towards its conclusion; at some point, he finds, he must have half-stood up from the bench, too restless to sit, hunched over the keys. He lets his eyes close again, focuses only on each tandem breath, living inside these final moments, if only to avoid dreading the end of the song. 

---

CHRISTINE

The song could only ever have been a duet. There’s no real gap between the end of Christine’s verse and the beginning of Erik’s. No room for a breath, had a single person attempted to sing both parts; no span of time that could have been measured in blinks of an eye, or the quickest beat of a frantic heart.

Standing just behind her friend, Christine freezes in that nonexistent space between her voice and his, gaze caught like a snared rabbit by the glinting wire of the mask—conscious thought scrabbling uselessly in the dust as emotion leaps and wrestles with instinct, twisting her heart into a tangled, choking knot.

Only to snap just as suddenly, sawn apart by the razor edge of the moment itself.

Vaudémont’s words describe a light within Iolanta; Christine’s own heart feels more like the moon as Erik’s voice floods over her again, the warm blaze of a star that she can only hope to reflect. Yet, there can be no disputing the faith, the absolute certainty of the sound that fills her ears; she shivers as bright wings lift her from the ledge on which she had been so precariously perched, raising her beyond the reach of the tempting whispers of the abyss below.

As if pulled by the same force, Erik rises partway from the piano bench, blocking her view of the sheet music; though, the markings on the tablet screen have long since ceased to matter. The song soars onward, hauling her feet off the ground even as she races joyously after it. It’s like gripping a kite string in a hurricane—a strong line that stretches through her, taut as it runs from head to heel, dredging her voice from the deepest part of her soul.

“But, to be like you, I would like to see the light of the sun!”

Music flows through them, around them, between them—living in the solid vibration of the piano, in the breath of their each shared note, like some kind of symbiotic creature; making *them* somehow more alive by its presence. Maybe this, she thinks, is the reason most operas are sung-through: who could bear to write silences into a score, knowing that they would be signing the death warrant of something so precious?

Yet, even as their own song flies inescapably towards its conclusion, Christine finds no pain, no tragedy in the beautiful, soaring phrases. To its last breath, the heart of the music beats without regret, unrestrained and fearless. What she’d taken for death is instead a triumphant ascension—Faust’s Marguerite taken up to heaven, borne in angels’ arms.

Her heart aches to recognize how lost she had been: to have seen a sunset, and believed that it meant endless night; to have resigned herself to a lifetime of stumbling with only a candle to guide her, when she had merely to wait for the return of morning. It’s disconcerting, unsettling, her view shifting like a sudden landslide—like Iolanta’s first terrifying, dazzling glimpse of the blue sky after agreeing to have her vision restored.

The light in the basement is dim, soft, as Christine opens eyes that she doesn’t remember having closed. The late afternoon sun trickles in through the single high window, like the glow that must have streamed into the mouth of Lazarus’ cave. Painting warmth and shadow with the same brush, it shines dully on the weathered body of the piano, on Erik’s shoulders, which shake slightly as he stands over the keyboard, driving the final chords from the instrument in a dynamic clash of sound. Her eyes well up to see him so transported—the thought occurring to her that she might not have been the only one to learn something in this ‘lesson’.

Silence comes too quickly.

Despite herself, despite knowing better, Christine can’t help the residual flare of panic that hits her. For a moment, it’s as if she’s forgotten how to breathe, desperately and irrationally uncertain of how to survive in a world from which music has disappeared again—like a life ring slipping from the hands of a drowning person.

Then, her friend takes an unsteady breath of his own; in it, she hears the first note of all the other songs they will sing together.

Tears spill over, running down Christine’s cheeks as she leans forward, fighting herself for every inch—tears that fall in tiny, dark spatters on the back of Erik’s sweatshirt when she finally lets her forehead come to rest in the gap between his shoulder blades.

---

ERIK

Dust specks hang still in the warm beam of light filtering in through the tiny basement window, as if the whole world has frozen with them. The silence is choking after the brilliance of sound, and Erik feels frozen in place. His mind is foggy, and the thought of speaking or moving is so distant- as it stretches on, the familiar weight of anxiety begins to settle around him again. What to do, what to say, how to react to something so utterly unique and fantastically beautiful- how will they ever interact the same way again? How can they go back to a casual lesson after something like this? He knows that Christine must have felt it as well; it wouldn’t have worked if Christine hadn’t felt it. They had ceased to be separate individuals- just for a moment, he had lived outside of himself. He can hardly remember how to breathe; how is he supposed to guide a student?

His worrying doesn’t have to last long. His muscles tense instinctively at the unexpected touch of someone at his back- he goes frozen with the effort of suppressing old reflexes. The largest piece of him would whip around to confront a person coming from behind, touching him unexpectedly, but Christine’s presence, especially in that moment, seems to have quieted those impulses.

What is she? He can’t place her, never has been able to- she has landed in his world with the brilliance of a falling star, and all the blinding confusion. Some hidden part of him, something that he has scarcely acknowledged since childhood, makes its presence known around her. It demands attention- it overwhelms him with a need for affection that contradicts everything else he’s ever learned about human touch. 

When the initial fear fades away, when his muscles relax and he lets out a long breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, all that’s left is a warmth at his back, and somehow, it feels like seeing a pinprick of light after years of fumbling in some dark and twisting cave. He straightens slowly, moving away from her just for a moment, just so that he can turn around, and at the sight of her, he is helpless to contain it. All the years of learned caution and fear succumb to the person inside of him who has been, for an entire lifetime, struggling to reach out. 

So he reaches out. Without calculation or hesitation, he reaches out, and his arms find their way around her shoulders, and he steps closer to her until her forehead just barely touches his chest. He’s tall enough that, even with his head bowed, he doesn’t touch the top of her head; his arms are long enough that they nearly encircle her completely. His heart beats its quick and frantic rhythm, and he doesn’t bother attempting to push back the tears that spring to his eyes.

It is only when it is done that he realizes exactly what he’s doing- he trembles at the sudden proximity, the proximity that he has caused,and his muscles start to tense again, though he stays frozen in space. This is wrong! A voice beats and screams in the back of his head-wrong! and he his breath escapes him in almost a hiss- but he wants it! Something in him wants this proximity, demands to know why he can’t have this. There’s a tremor in his shoulders, and the air feels thin- and he recognizes his expectation; with a sucking black hole of dark and yawning certainty, he tenses and waits for her to push him away as he battles with himself- why can’t I be close to a friend?

Have you forgotten what you are? Is she only your friend?

His eyes clench shut, and gasps as he chokes on the sob at the back of his throat. He is fixed, paralyzed in the wake of his hasty decision. He can only wait for what he knows is the same inevitable rejection that has pushed him into himself in the first place. She doesn’t owe him this- and if he were stronger, less selfish, he would back away and send her home to Sweden this moment. 

“Jag är ledsen,” he chokes, his voice utterly transformed from a few moments ago. Despite his words, his arms remain around her. 

---

CHRISTINE

From the first night they met, she has thought of Erik as a kind of angel. To Christine, there’s no other comparison that could be drawn in such heartfelt lines; no deeper possible expression of her wonder and gratitude. How else could she ever describe it? To have this remarkable person come into her life at a time she least expected it, offering help just when she needed it most. If one of the angels from her childhood stories had manifested itself in front of her, wings and all, its appearance could hardly have seemed any more unlikely of a miracle than the simple chance of her and Erik’s paths having crossed.

After years of leaning on daydreams, Christine lets her head rest upon a shoulder that is utterly human—tense, uncertain, but solid and real where her brow presses gently against it—and knows that she would never trade it for one with feathers.

There are so many reasons for caution. Things that she is already aware of; things she may never learn; things that she could guess if she only allowed herself to try. They crowd at the back of Christine’s mind now, pooling like shadows in the depths of a cave—shrinking away from the radiance of her joy.

Her strained neck relaxes into Erik’s back as she senses the tension leave him, smearing tears between her face and his sweatshirt; the ridges of his scarred skin disappear beneath the heavy fabric, but the faintest hint of warmth seeps through, soothing the overwhelmed aching of her head. There’ll be time later to remember how complicated things actually are: time to worry—about him, and herself, and the past, and the future. For now, Christine finds all the reassurance she needs in the rise and fall of his back as he breathes: a reminder that she isn’t alone; that the wonder of this music has been real; that she has someone to *share* it with.

Then, just when things seem steadiest, they tip: Christine flinches at the sudden emptiness of the cold air against her cheek, her eyes opening in surprise as Erik steps away.

There’s just enough time to doubt herself; just enough time for her to gaze at the damp marks her tears have left on the back of his sweatshirt, as if she were a lost traveler trying to retrace her footprints—wondering what wrong turn had been taken; which path might yet lead back to safe ground. But as her friend turns around, facing her for the first time since they sang together, there’s no time to seek an answer—no need to even look for one, as one finds her on its own; enveloping her the way Erik’s wiry arms closing around her shoulders.

There’s a moment, a fraction of a second, as she stares wide-eyed into the front of the sweatshirt, in which Christine feels certain that she is about to speak. A reassurance; a question; a phrase of gratitude—she’s not sure which. When her mouth opens, though, all that comes out is a soft, stifled breath; a gentle sound caught somewhere between a gasp and a sigh. Somehow, it’s fitting: a word not devised or spoken by her mind (which runs in wild circles, still struggling to make sense of the black wall that has appeared hardly an inch from her face, and the gentle weight around her shoulders), but by her throat, her lungs, her heart itself. Like the silent syllables formed by her hands as they twitch upward, her arms lifting towards Erik in a way that could have been instinctive if it weren’t so *deliberate*.

Words don’t seem to belong in this moment any more than they had when they were singing—not even ‘hug’ itself, entirely wrong for the stiff, tremulous arms that encircle her.

Christine’s own arms fall limply back to her sides as her thoughts finally catch up with her, her hands curling, nails biting into her palms.

How many times has she wanted to hug him? How many times has Erik become overwhelmed by far less? Now, she can tell that he’s crying. Can hear it—can *feel* it, wrapped as she is in his dark shadow. This is the closest she’s ever been to him, closer than his boundaries had once seemed capable of bending; yet, even with the gap between them narrower than ever, there’s room for doubt. Christine tilts her head up, the tip of her nose brushing against the soft fabric of the sweatshirt, but gains only a useless glimpse of the underside of her friend’s jaw.

He shudders again, and she feels it as if it had reverberated through her own bones. His arms seem so terribly brittle; though he’s chosen to wrap them around her, can she be sure that it won’t frighten him—won’t *hurt* him—if she tries to do the same? Tears hit the back of Christine’s neck as she leans her forehead lightly against his chest again—taking no more than has already been given to her; risking no more than Erik himself has put at stake.

Waiting for him to push her away, she realises with a sudden, sickened jolt.

She’s been so careful, has tried so hard to be the friend that she thinks he wants—has done her best to avoid making him feel uncomfortable, or pressured, or any of the things that have seemingly caused him to distance himself from everyone else who has tried to be there for him.

But where has it gotten the two of them?

And who has she really been trying to protect?

She feels Erik draw a breath, the syllables rattling in his chest as he offers her a ragged apology. The only apology that she sees necessary is her own. But though her heart aches, Christine finds that she can’t force the words from her throat. Maybe they’ve been said too many times already; maybe they simply have no place here.

She has learned so much from Erik in their short time together. About singing, and music; language, and cats, and people. But maybe she should have paid more attention to the very first lesson of their friendship, that night in the airport when she accepted his offer to stay in Paris: that, even when the odds seem impossibly high, there are some risks worth taking.

In the shaking of Erik’s shoulders, she can feel the weight of the gamble he clearly believes himself to have made—a bet that she doesn’t intend to let him lose; as her arms once more begin to lift, Christine can only hope that her own fears are just as unfounded.

But, after all, sometimes there are angels.

Her hands slowly venture upward, hovering blindly in the air behind Erik’s back—tentative; gathering courage. But then, finally, her fingertips settle on his back. If she’d thought that Erik couldn’t possibly become any more tense, she’d been wrong. But despite the startled frisson that cuts through him, drawing another strangled noise from his throat, he makes no move to separate himself from her. And that’s enough: with a sudden unrestrained desperation, Christine’s arms tighten around corrugated ribs, her face turning to press itself against a chest that seems cushioned more by fabric than flesh.

It’s one thing to know that he is dangerously thin by looking at him; it’s another thing entirely to measure the terrifying extent of it within the span of her own arms: her embrace loosens almost instantly, as if in fear of breaking him, and she shifts her head away from the bruise that she has remembered too late—but she doesn’t pull away; doesn’t let him think that that was ever her intention. As her palms smooth gently across the ridges of his back, she only wants to hold him tighter—to soothe away all of the hurt that he has suffered, in the way that she knows only a hug can; to finally *be* held by this person who has become so important to her.

“Det är okej,” Christine says, finally making a concession to speech as Erik’s heart continues to beat frantically against her ear. “Det är okej, vännen.”

(illustration by rjdaae) ---

ERIK

As a child, Erik can remember slapping his mother’s hand away from his shoulder- rare as her affection was, it was better to not have it at all. He had distanced himself from touch, written it off as something childish that only weak people depended on. He knows somewhere that it has always been a survival instinct, but his reaction has not changed since childhood- contempt for any sentimentality in relationships.

It had been easier to cope with anger than to fear rejection. His mother’s drawn, pitying face- he hated looking at it nearly as much as she hated looking at his. Eventually, she had stopped attempting to touch him completely- a relief on both of their parts. He had given her the excuse she needed, and he had believed himself free of that need for physical affection.

In most ways, he has not grown from that belief in the decades he has spent away from his childhood home. And the sense of completion he feels with his arms around Christine threatens to bring that carefully constructed idea, the idea that he has cultivated for his own self-preservation for almost forty years, tumbling down around him.

It has been difficult, in the past, to regard himself as a member of the same species as others. It has been difficult to regard them as alive at all. There has always been a degree of selfishness attached to his survival. Depending on himself only has meant keeping others at arm’s length wherever possible. Khan’s presence in his life was the first chip in his armor.

He can feel the rhythm of Christine breathing down to his core. She is to him as the moon is to the tide; every small movement she makes pulls him along with her.

He is transfixed by every detail of her, down to the wisps of her hair that brush the backs of his hands. She is so steady, steadier than anything he’s ever held onto in his life.

His breathing shifts automatically in time with hers; for a moment, nothing exists other than the movement of her hand over his spine. Things are still, and quiet, and his mind is empty, won’t allow him to ruminate on what lines may be crossed here. The quiet murmur of her voice sets him at ease.

“Merci,” he says in response, his voice barely a whisper. There is nothing else to say- it’s like some sort of intoxication, being held like this. He doesn’t know what else to express to her, or how to even begin to say any of it, and his mind feels stuffed with cotton, too blurry for any reasonable thought process. Just for this moment, there is only quiet, and against every instinct, he finds himself wishing it could last forever. 

---

(Part 131)

[dawniel]

a tag update

I saw this tag I did in Jul2017 I was almost 18 and I'm being crazy nostalgic rn. I’m trying to give an update to my answers and have a look at my growth. if the answer is the same I'm leaving it, you’ll see what I mean. The changes are so unbelievable to me and I am proud of my progress.

THE LAST…

1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: from my dad  school office for academic enquiry 3. Text message: “did you even listen” “goodnight babe”  4. Song you listened to: God Knows I Tried Level of Concern tøp 5. Time you cried: yesterday today lol

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice: havent dated someone once yes 7. Been cheated on: how if i havent dated someone once no (? 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: havent had my first kiss yes 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: hahahahahah why would you ask so? do i look like-? oh yes? yes. (I was being so annoying but yea 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope yes

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. dusty pink baby pink 13. white black 14. pale/ baby blue beige

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: so many internet friends god bless y'all kinda 16. Fallen out of love: never actually been in love? yes  17. Laughed until you cried: i guess?? 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yea that isn’t hard I’m problematic  19. Met someone who changed you: of course I’m quite easily influenced by people actually 20. Found out who your true friends are: yes but I’m still figuring out tbh 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no yes 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: idek who is on fb 23. Do you have any pets: not rn:( 24. Do you want to change your name: no 25. What did you do for your last birthday: i forgot? wait let me check i had a cake with my parents and,,, sorry i really can’t recall probably had fun with my friends I ate sushi with my bf and went back home, my dad surprised me with a homemade cake I celebrated it with my parents it was very cute 26. What time did you wake up: 5sth am and sleeping again at 11am? and then waking up again at 1pm??? 830am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: doing the phil curly hair animation sleeping...who was I, also that animation is still cool good job old rosie 28. Name something you cannot wait for: the graduation dinner perhaps? i didn’t have much to look forward to,, death? for this coronavirus to be over! I was so sad then:( 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: just now 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how i see life?and how i see myself? but kind of dont because i dont want to change everything about myself I have changed but I am excited for the growth to continue :) 31. What are you listening to right now: my father talking silence 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: does tommy count he’s a creep this is crazy.. my bf who is with me for almost 2 yrs is named Tom 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the me talking to me reacting the the world lately it is the limited working space at home to paint for my course 34. Most visited website: tumblr and youtube

35. Elementary: (not too important) 36. High School: high school is basically my life falling apart except that i know i want to do art in my life it is interesting looking back 37. College/university: for uni i hope i will get the offers sigh this depends so much on the grades of the entry exam and we dont know the results yet bitch I'm proud of you you got your first choice 38. Hair color: lighter brown 39. Long or short hair: short longg 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yea 41. What do you like about yourself: how i think (when I’m not depressed) in a quirky way I am serious with thing that are important 42. Piercings: i got four now 5 43. Blood type: b 44. Nickname: rosie my bff calls me lettuce head sometimes but I dont really have a nickname 45. Relationship status: hello darkness my old friend occupied 46. Zodiac sign: my sun is cancer 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite tv show: idk my mind is empty now Bojack/ the Good Place/ the end of the fucking world can't decide 49. Tattoos: desperately wanting one but none yET 50. Right or left hand: right handed

FIRST… these remain the same ofc

57. Eating: no 58. Drinking: no 59. I’m about to: sleep 60. Listening to: the typing sound 61. Waiting for: i wait for life to end/ but it never comes around (making a ldr reference that no one will ever know) i guess my other day out? another houseplant? idek i dont have much expectations going out and summer! 62. Want: to love myself, be a good person, and be happy. also be better at art. (all still true:) 63. Get married: maybe if i find someone special in the future yes uwu 64. Career: i would say art but I’m re considering fashion design again? I’m still contemplating,, to work in a social engagement art space

YOUR TYPE…

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs kisses 66. Lips or eyes:  eyes 67. Shorter or taller: for girls i wish to be similar, for guys taller 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: idk arms 71. Sensitive or loud: dont be loud but not too sensitive because i already am a sensitive fuck (is this abt sex and I didn't know hahahahah) sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both have its charm what can I say true but troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: i havent kissed someone yes 75. Drank hard liquor?: no I’m a good girl I’m still good,, yes 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on first date: havent been on a date no 79. Broken someone’s heart: i think no? but may to friends? I’m not sure probably 80. Had your heart broken: always I’m so flipping dramatic ffs I hadn’t at that time, and yes 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: until this day I still wasn’t sure if i had a crush on her yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. Yourself: i wish fr I wish more than I used to 85. Miracles: yes but not when I’m in the situation 86. Love at first sight: kind of YES 87. Santa Claus: when i first knew him i was already presented that he is a fictional character 88. Kiss on the first date: can you believe in a kiss?? what does this mean??  89. Angels: not quite but mo you right there’re a lot of good ppl out there that help us in life like angels

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: carol (still true❤︎) 91. Eye color: dark brown 92. Favorite movie: neon the professional not sure, could be About Time

[mairauders]

tagged by: @remushlupin​ ♥♥♥ rules - you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 (ish) people. tagging: @dawncourt​, @minjard​, @nickyhemmick​, @krvm​, @petercapaldis​, @emilieblunt​, @czernys​, @kettersdam​ ♥♥♥

THE LAST 1.drink: coffee. 2. phone call: my mum. 3. text message: about my friend’s current love situation. 4. song you listened to: young & dumb - cigarettes after sex 5. time you cried: a few weeks ago (if you had asked me a month ago tho... haha).

6. dated someone twice: wanted to, but glad i didn’t. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: no. 8. been cheated on: no. 9. lost someone special: a few months ago. 10. been depressed: november - january annually haha. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: never.

3 favorite colors 12. pale pink. 13. baby blue. 14. sun yellow.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: y e s ♥ 16. fallen out of love: yeah... 17. laughed until you cried: probably. 18. found out someone was talking about you: idk tbh?? 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20. found out who your friends are: the hard and painful way but yes. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yeah.

GENERAL 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: majority. 23. do you have any pets: family cat. bUT I WANT A  D O G!!! 24. do you want to change your name: yes. pretty sure i will. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: chilled with my best friend. 26. what time did you wake up: before 10am. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching friends. 28. name something you can’t wait for: next year and moving to london. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: now. 31. what are you listening to right now: cigarettes after sex on spotify. 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yup. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: safe mode -.- 34. most visited website: tumblr. and then youtube. 35. hair colour: dark brown (i highkey want to be blonde asdfghjkl). 36. long or short hair: medium. 37. do you have a crush on someone: not rn. 38. what do you like about yourself: my style & taste in music.  39. piercings: ears. 40. blood type: ik this is bad but i have no idea. 41. nickname: vi. 42. relationship status: single. 43. zodiac: gemini sun + aquarius moon&rising. 44. pronouns: she/her. 45. favourite tv show: doctor who. sense8. jane the virgin. 46. tattoos: nope. 47. right or left handed: right handed. 48. surgery: no. 49. piercing: already answered this? ears. 50. sport: volleyball. 51. vacation: history + ocean ♥ 52. pair of trainers: sweatpants.

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: nothing. 54. drinking: nothing. 55. i’m about to: just chilling rn. 56. waiting for: next summer. 57. want: to go to london again (forever) & fall in love again 58. get married: someday. 59. career: something that matters. idk yet tbh.

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: both. 61. lips or eyes: eyes. 62. shorter or taller: depends. 63. older or younger: older. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: stomach. 65. hook up or relationship: relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: nope. 68. drank hard liquor: no. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: y e a h. 70. turned someone down: i don’t think so? 71. sex on the first date: nope. 72. broken someone’s heart: yeah... 73. had your heart broken: oh yes. 74. been arrested: nope. 75. cried when someone died: yes. 76. fallen for a friend: yeah...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: yes. 78. miracles: yes. 79. love at first sight: no. 80. santa claus: nope. 81. kiss on the first date: yes. 82. angels: yes.

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: jovita. 84. eye colour: blue-ish grey. 85. favorite movie: about time (2013), now you see me (2013), pride & prejudice (2005).

[piilokarsastus]

100 this or that

1. Coffee or tea? I don’t drink coffee so I’m gonna say tea even though I’m not too fond of tea either. It smells great but tastes like a disappointment. 2. Black and white or color? color 3. Drawings or paintings? paintings 4. Dresses or skirts? both are cute 5. Books or movies? I feel like I have to say books because it’s the more cultivated thing to enjoy but during these last few years I’ve only read a handful of books but watched weeks’ worth of tv shows. I do value literature slightly more as an art form, but I’ve come to notice that you can watch a bad film in 2 hours and laugh it off but a bad book is a prolonged disappointment. 6. Pepsi or Coke? I don’t drink either 7. Chinese or Italian? Chinese. As a European, Italian food is really just “food”, although pizza and pasta are kind of the backbone of my diet so... fuck it, changing my answer to Italian. Also gelato is life. 8. Early bird or night owl? night owl all the way 9. Chocolate or vanilla? depends, but if this is about ice cream, vanilla it is 10. Introvert or extrovert? I’m somewhere in between, slightly on the introvert side 11. Hugs or kisses? What is a kiss without a hug? 12. Hunting or fishing? Fishing 13. Winter or summer? Summer 14. Spring or fall? Fall, or as I like to call it, autumn 15. Rural or urban? Urban, with a profound presence of nature. I need to be able to walk in a forest by a lake or a river whenever I want, but if I see a tractor, I’ve walked too far.  16. PC or Mac? PC 17. Tan or pale? pale 18. Cake or pie? pie 19. Ice cream or yogurt? is anyone seriously going to say yogurt when ice cream is a choice? 20. Ketchup or mustard? I don’t use either  21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? I don’t like pickles 22. Comedy or mystery? Mystery 23. Boots or sandals? Boots 24. Silver or gold? Silver’s prettier for jewellery 25. Pop or Rock? rock 26. Dancing or singing? singing 27. Checkers or chess? chess 28. Board games or video games? video games 29. Wine or beer? wine 30. Freckles or dimples? dimples 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? BBQ 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? body-weight 33. Baseball or basketball? basketball, although this is trivial since I don’t care about sports 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? crossword puzzles 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? clean, unless you can grow a proper beard 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? Is this what The Shape of Water is about? 37. Skiing or snowboarding? skiing (perkele) 38. Smile or game face? I’ve seriously got no idea what you’re referring to 39. Bracelet or necklace? necklace 40. Fruit or vegetables? fruit, mainly because that includes berries

41. Sausage or bacon? Sausage. Bacon’s only really good when it’s crisp. 42. Scrambled or fried? Eggs, as a meal, are not a part of my life so I’ve got no opinion 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? Dark 44. Tattoos or piercings? tattoos although I don’t really care about either 45. Antique or brand new? that depends on the overall aesthetic but generally speaking I slightly prefer antique to modern 46. Dress up or dress down? up 47. Cowboys or aliens? why is this a juxtaposition that exists? 48. Cats or dogs? CATS 49. Pancakes or waffles? Pancakes 50. Bond or Bourne? Never seen Bourne 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? no preference 52. Numbers or letters? An interesting question. We mainly communicate with letters, but on the other hand, understanding abstract numbers has been an important factor in developing complex language. Also, there can only be as many letters as there are possible phonemes, but there are an infinite amount of numbers. 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter 54. Fair or theme park? theme park 55. Money or fame? Money. I’d like my name to be known for what I’ve achieved, but I wouldn’t want my face to be constantly recognised on the street. 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? dishes 57. Snakes or sharks? sharks 58. Orange juice or apple juice? Apple juice. Orange juice is my #1 enemy and I WILL fight it given the chance. 59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset, although there’s something magical in staying up till the sun rises on a summer night. 60. Slacker or over-achiever? I somehow manage to slack while over-achieving. 61. Pen or pencil? Pencil 62. Peanut butter or jelly? Both of these seem like very American things to enjoy. Neither of them is a part of my life. 63. Grammys or Oscars? I don’t keep track of either 64. Detailed or abstract? Both are beautiful 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? As much as I prefer drawing a few circles to writing a multiple-page coherent academic text, I have to say that I’d rather have my grade depend on my writing skills than on my ability to choose the least wrong answer and detect trick questions 66. Adventurous or cautious? Somewhat on the cautious side 67. Saver or spender? saver 68. Glasses or contacts? I don’t really have firsthand experience on either so I can’t say 69. Laptop or desktop? Laptop 70. Classic or modern? I slightly prefer classic but modern’s also great (and actually better when it comes to literature) 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? chef 72. Internet or cell phone? internet (I don’t really get the question since the two have pretty much been in symbiosis for the last 10 years) 73. Call or text? text 74. Curly hair or straight hair? I like natural hair. Chemically straightened or curled hair looks kinda ugly. 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? Over the years, my position has changed several times. Currently, I’m an evening showerer because it grants me 15 more minutes to procrastinate getting up in the morning. 76. Spicy or mild? Mild but not bland 77. Marvel or DC? I don’t care about comics but the few Marvel movies I’ve seen have been funny. The Dark Knight trilogy was also great though so I’ve got to give some points to DC 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? what is this adult language, I’m but a wee baby 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? Never tried either but I feel like skydiving would be more my thing 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? only had oreos 81. Jello or pudding? another question that feels very American 82. Truth or dare? Truth.  83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? Roller coaster 84. Leather or denim? denim 85. Stripes or solids? solids 86. Bagels or muffins? I’ve only ever had sweet muffins so they don’t really compare 87. Whole wheat or white? whole wheat 88. Beads or pearls? I’m not really sure what the difference is since they’re the same word in Finnish but it seems beads come in many varieties and pearls are just... pearls. So beads it is. 89. Hardwood or carpet? hardwood. Carpet flooring is not a thing in Finland nor should it be anywhere. 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? Neutral 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? I’m torn between being a few years older to better connect with all the interesting people in my life and experiencing certain things about my early teens again/in a different way 92. Raisins or nuts? nuts 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? both have their time and place.  94. Black leather or brown leather? brown 95. Long hair or short hair? whatever looks cute on you 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? yeah I wonder 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction is art, non-fiction is just otherwise interesting and important 98. Smoking or non-smoking? non-smoking 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? think before you talk 100. Asking questions or answering questions? Answering. I live off of getting to tell things about myself.

[kimikomasuda]

Mun interview

Tagged by: @the-graves-twins

1) Are you really ready for 111 questions? I am. 2) Where are you taking this test at? A bed. 3) Was your last real relationship a mistake? I wasn’t attentive as I should’ve been. 4) Who did you last say “I love you” to? My Cat 5) Do you regret it? Hell no. He’s my world. 6) Have you ever been depressed? I have. 7) Are you a boy or girl? NEITHER 8) Do you have a job? Eyup 9) What is your relationship status? I’m single but i’m loving it. 10) How do you want to die? Soon and in my sleep. 11) What did you last eat? Fruit snacks. 12) Played any sports? Nope 13) Do you bite your nails? I used to. 14) When was your last physical fight? 5 years ago. 15) Do you have an attitude? I’ve been told I do. 16) Do you like someone? Nope. 17) What is your real name? Tristen Fontenelle 18) What is the background of you computer screen? A beach 19) Are you gonna get high later? I’m not a drug user. 20) Do you hate anyone at the moment? I don’t  21) Do you miss someone? My mother and my little brother. 22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti? Twirl 23) Do you tan a lot? I am a vampire. I keep my pale ass outta the sun.  24) Have any pets? A cat. 25) How exactly are you feeling?! disgusted with myself 26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving? Yes but we were moving so it was the only way. 27) Ever made out in the bathroom? Never. 28) Would you take any of your exes back? I would like to date my ex girlfriend. She was wonderful. But it’s for the best we don’t date. 29) Are you afraid of spiders? Yes and I want them to stay away for the rest of their eight legged lives. 30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes if I can fix parts of my life. 31) Do you regret anything from your past? Hell yes. 32) What are your plans for this weekend? Play Overwatch 33) Do you want to have kids? I don’t. 34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M? Nope 35) Do you type fast?

yes 36) Do you have piercings? Nope 37) Want any more? Nope 38) Can you spell well? yes 39) Do you miss anyone from your past? yep 40) What are you craving right now? Food. 41) Ever been to a bonfire party? Nope 42) Have you ever been to jail? nope 43) Have you ever been on a horse? Yep 44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck? Nope 45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Hope not. 46) Have you ever been cheated on? yes 47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Yes 48) What time is it currently?

8:46 49) Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes. 50) What should you be doing? Scooping cat boxes. 51) What’s irritating you right now? my roommate 52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? Yep 53) Does somebody love you? Aside from family? 54) What is your favorite color? Purple 55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Yep. It was awkward as hell. 57) Do you have trust issues? Unfortunetly 58) You are over half way done with this. Are you sure you want to continue? Yeah. 59) Do you have any siblings? A little brother. 60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? I think it’s okay. 61) Do you live with anyone? My Mother and a housemate 62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? Probably. But I doubt it’s good. 63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? My Mother. 64) Do you give out second chances too easily? I’d like to say no but I’m a giant pushover. 65) Is it easier to forgive or forget? I can’t do either. 66) Is this year the best year of your life? It’s a mix. But it isn’t the worst compared to 2010. 67) What was your childhood nickname? Snowbird 68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Nah. 69) What is your motto in life? “Smile and the world won’t see you cry.” 70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? I did. 71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I read a book called shackled. 72) Do you have a best friend? Few 73) What is bothering you? My lower-back 74) Have you ever been out of your country? Nope 75) Do you play the Wii? Never had one 76) Are you listening to music right now? Nope 77) Do you like Chinese food? I do. Especially when it’s free. 78) Do you know your fathers b- day? Nope 79) Are you afraid of the dark? Sorta. 80) Is cheating ever okay? Never. 81) Are you mean? Possibly 82) Can you keep white shoes clean? Nah. That’s impossible. 83) What was the last song you listened to?  Diamond Heart- Lady Gaga 84) Do you believe in true love? Nope 85) What are you currently wearing? Jeans and a t-shirt. 86) What do you wear to bed? Yoga pants and a tank-top 87) What is the weather like right now? IT’S HELL OUTSIDE 88) Do you like the outside? Sometimes 89) Are you currently bored? Sorta 90) Do you wanna get married? Depends on who comes along. 91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? I’ve been called it once and it was outta sympathy. I’d rather not be called it again. 92) Are you hungry? YES. I’M FUCKING STARVING!! 93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Never. 94) What makes you happy? Role playing and Overwatch 95) Would you change your name? Sure. 96) Ever been to Alaska? Never. 98) Do you watch the news? Nope. It makes me uncomfortable. 99) What’ s your zodiac sign? Gemini 100) Do you like Subway? I usually do. Haven’t had it in a while. 101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? The last person I platonically kissed was my mom. So no.

102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I’d be a little uncomfortable. 103) Do you talk like your friends? I’m too shy. 104) What do you plan to do with the rest of your day? I plan on eating, doing the laundry and possibly playing Overwatch. 105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them? A few times. 106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Everyone I role play with. 107) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m NB... 108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? Nope. Just as long as it’s outside, I’m good. 109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? No one. 110) Favorite lyrics right now?

“Good thing I know what I'm worth Want a good thing, put the money down first Better get a good look baby 'Cause soon I'm breaking out of here

Young, wild, American C'mon baby, do you have a girlfriend? Rain on me a million I'm not flawless, but I gotta diamond heart.”

111) Tag 10 people

@icandoanythingyoucan @squirreltailedgirl @mutantleaderinthemaking @mutantmasterofmagnetism @apocalypta-secundus @enigmaticinvisiblezebra

[darlingpeter]

longest tag game ever!!

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

i was tagged by @maybe-mikala!! (and you can tag me in anything, friend!! :-) )

i know this is a total cop-out but i don’t have many friends on this blog, so if you see this and want to do it, please do!! and also please tag me!! and also come say hi and be my friend if you wanna!!

the last…

1. drink? water

2. phone call? my best friend kalli in terms of personal, but i called my boss today about my hours next week

3. text message? kalli again, whoops! we’re getting breakfast and burning all of her passed back papers from all 4 years of high school tomorrow!!

4. song you listened to? bad behavior by the maine!

5. time you cried? watching moana oh my god

6. dated someone twice? never actually ever been asked on a date or anything lmao so no

7. kissed someone and regretted it? also never been kissed believe it or not

8. been cheated on? see above

9. lost someone special? yes

10. been depressed? am currently and for the last 6 years

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? i’ve gotten drunk but never enough to throw up!

favorite colors

12. peach!

13. turquoise!

14. pale pink!

in the last year, have you…

15. made new friends? yea!!

16. fallen out of love? platonically yes

17. laughed until you cried? absolutely oml

18. found out someone was talking about you? yeah

19. met someone who changed you? yes yes yes absolutely :-)

20. found out who your friends are? yes (thanks senior year and graduation)

21. kissed someone on your facebook list? nope nope

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? all of them - also i just made my facebook within the last month ha

23. do you have any pets? i have two english mastiffs!! daphne, who’s 9, and bailey, who’s 3! they both like apple slices, being spooned, sunbathing, and sleeping. they’re both from a local rescue and started as fosters but apparently we’re an awful foster family because we have ended up adopting 2/2 times! 

24. do you want to change your name? i like my name now!

25. what did you do for your last birthday? i got thai food with my friends and took a good nap

26. what time did you wake up? 7:30 today to feed my dogs and then go to work

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? probably snoring lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: i have a friend in the uk that i’ve been friends with for like 5 years and we haven’t met each other and we’re making crazy adventure plans where he meets me here first and we see all the good pnw sights and then i’ll visit him there eventually and there’s going to be hiking and beach trips and fun eating spots and movie marathons and i’m so excited

29. when was the last time you saw your mom? like 10 minutes ago when she popped her head in my room and told me she was going to bed

31. what are you listening to right now? the newest album from this group called A R I Z O N A because i love them and their music puts me in a chill vibe (also is question 30 like floor 19 in sideways stories from wayside school??)

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yeah! my uncle!

33. something that is getting on your nerves? why are some people so rude to people in food service and retail???? like have they never worked that kind of job and learned the value of just being tolerant and god forbid KIND to someone who’s just trying to do their job ugh (some guy literally tipped me after ordering and it turned out he ordered something he didn’t want??? so i brought it to him and he like yelled at me even though it wasn’t my fault??? and this was after the only other gal i was working with decided to take an unannounced thirty minute smoke break in the middle of a rush and i was basically about to cry and he told me that he was going to complain to my boss and then took his tip back out of the jar?? but yeah my boss called me and was like “don’t even worry that guy was a jerk and you’re totally fine” and that was my wednesday)

34. most visited website? either tumblr or my google docs!

35. hair colour? brown!

36. long or short hair? in terms of how long my hair has ever been, pretty short!! i’m going to get it cut shorter before i go to college though!

37. do you have a crush on someone? not currently! but then again i have trouble differentiating between platonic and romantic love in relationships in my life

38. what do you like about yourself? i’d like to think that i’m nice and that i help to bring out the best in the people i’m around!

39. piercings: i have my ears pierced and i want my conch pierced and a little baby septum ring!!

40. blood type: O positive, so i’m a universal donor! i also have lots of iron in my blood so i donate as often as i can :-)

41. nickname: em, e, emilia, lil bab, little e

42. relationship status: single

43. zodiac: virgo sun and pisces moon!

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: psych, shameless, masterchef, rupaul’s drag race

46. tattoos: i am an underage child

47. right or left handed: right!

48. surgery: none

49. piercing: ears only, single lobe!

50. sport: i played softball for 8 years (catcher and first basemen), volleyball for 6 (right side hitter and back row), but now i do track!! i do all 4 throws - shot put, hammer, discus, and javelin - was varsity both years i competed in high school, made it to the regional competition of the junior olympics, i won my conference and got 3rd in state in shot put, and won a track athlete of the year award from a local newspaper recently!! i’m going to compete in college and see how far it takes me! :-)

51. vacation: i count my day-long excursions as vacations and me and my twin sister recently spent a day at the oregon coast!

52. pair of trainers: ???

more general

53. eating: i hecking love dim sum. like all i need is a good hum bao and some soup dumplings and i’m good to go

54. drinking: ok but water

55. i’m about to: go to bed!! your girl likes her beauty rest

56. waiting for? someone right :-)

57. want? my next 5-6 years of school to be paid off lmao

58. get married? yeah! i’m hoping someday!

59. career? i wanna teach world history/humanities at a high school level or higher!

60. hugs or kisses? i’m definitely a hugger

61. lips or eyes? um um um eyes?? i guess

62. shorter or taller? it really depends on the person imo!!

63. older or younger? as long as the law is taken into account anything is good :-) 

64. nice arms or nice stomach? nice arms are nice but personally i am a fan of soft tums!! they’re so underappreciated!

65. hook up or relationship? relationship!! i like the idea of getting so close to someone that you know all their little quirks and like what they’re gonna say before they do and just like being best friends

66. troublemaker or hesitant: i’m mostly hesitant

67. kissed a stranger: nah

68. drank hard liquor: ha yes

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: i don’t have glasses or contacts!

70. turned someone down: yep

71. sex on the first date: i haven’t personally but i wouldn’t be opposed if i really liked the person

72. broken someone’s heart: i hope not :-(

73. had your heart broken: yeah

74. been arrested: no

75. cried when someone died: yes yes yes

76. fallen for a friend: i think so

do you believe in…

77. yourself? i’m getting better :-)

78. miracles? i think that the world just kind of goes in its own way and everything that happens is meant to!

79. love at first sight? yeah!

80. santa claus? nope

81. kiss on the first date? only if you wanna

82. angels? my favorite comedian says that an angel is someone who can make you laugh or smile in a situation where you think you can’t and i follow that belief!

83. current best friend’s name: kalli! there’s also beth, ahmed, celina, and melissa!

84. eye colour: hazel!

85. favourite movie: stardust, the a team, the secret life of walter mitty, school of rock, brother bear, ocean’s eleven, ratatouille!!

[tandem85]

Survey...thing

Okay so this is gonna be a bit weird. I came across this copypasta survey thing and thought it looked interesting judging by the first question. Had no clue of it's true length and I've been just kinda rambling on for close to 2 hours now. This tumblr has possibly the lowest traffic in recorded history, so I shouldn't have to worry about too many eyes stumbling across this. At least I hope. Eh, oh well, whatever, here it is.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 3. - Good machines don't guarantee success, though, as RCA and Xerox and others had discovered. (The Soul of A New Machine, Tracy Kidder)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch? - The wall and pillows.

3. Before you started this survey, what were you doing? - Browsing the internet after pulling an all-nighter due to insomnia and painful recollections of past mistakes.

4. What is the last thing you watched on TV? - 'The West Wing' on Netflix

5. Without looking, guess what time it is: - Eight fucking A.M.

6. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? - 8:03 AM. End me.

7. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? - A desk fan and the faint sound of traffic

8. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? - A few days ago, to pick up an old iMac off Craigslist

9. Did you dream last night? - No.

10. Do you remember your dreams? - On average, no. Sometimes a decent one lingers, though.

11. When did you last laugh? - I honestly have no idea.

12. Do you remember why / at what? - Not at all. Probably just a passing chuckle at something I read somewhere.

13. What is on the walls of the room you are in? - Various posters, most either from Club Nintendo or Nintendo Power, along with a few more obscure ones.

14. Seen anything weird lately? - Plenty.

15. What is the last film you saw? - All the way through? I, uh, honestly couldn't say...I have a habit of just watching bits and bobs of films I like over and over again, usually to just take in detail or just to confirm a stray thought or something. If that's the case, then Star Wars w/the theatrical mono track. If an *entire* film, then probably Aliens a month or so back.

16. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? - Small suburban town a few miles out from some city in some state, preferably more northern than where I am now. Countryside of Oregon seems nice.

17. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? - Probably just save it all and try to coast on it for the rest of my life.

18. Tell me something about you that most people don’t know. - the fuck is this copypasta quiz? Er, well, nobody really *knows* me so just any facet of trivia about my life would do, I guess. I'm really, *really* obsessed with EPCOT even though I've never been and I haven't even visited Disney World since 2002. I genuinely have a copy of every pavilion and attraction's soundtrack from Future World burned to CDs sitting in my car right now, and if I had to pick favorites, Horizons and Communicore get the most play time.

19. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? - Give everyone some common sense and a better sense of care towards others. That would ((hopefully)) end a majority of conflict out there.

20. Do you like to dance? - Not really. Haven't danced since my sister's wedding back in '09. Yep, even missed prom, not that I really care.

21. Would you ever consider living abroad? - Maybe if it's like Japan or somewhere with similar power standards...I couldn't make it a month in Europe and it's 240v mains standard. My life hinges too much on tech.

22. Does your name make any interesting anagrams? - Never really thought of it. Probably not.

23. Who made the last incoming call on your phone? - ...my mother, a few days ago. I only have my immediate family's numbers saved. Not like anyone would ever really want to call me.

24. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? - Some shitty (what I presume) in-ride recording of Horizons I wanted to play around with in an audio editor to get a decent loop or two out of...before I realized YouTube had better resources for that.

25. Last time you swam in a pool? - Years. I used to love swimming all the time when I was younger (weather permitting; my skin goes from moonlight pale to lobster red faster than it takes to boil an egg on the sun). Heck, I don't think I still have any trunks that fit anymore...

26. Type of music you like most? - Normally I'd say 70s/80s rock/pop, but I haven't listened to much outside of, er, soundtracks the past few months.

27. Type of music you dislike most? - Either country or EDM/dubstep/whatever. I can't stand singers in country, it's so painfully obvious they're forcing their voices to have this bogus accent, and dubstep/electro whatever is just screeching garbage that sounds worse than playing a data cassette through a walkman. 

28. Are you listening to music right now? - No, I was trying to go to sleep earlier, now I'm just laying with a laptop sitting 2 feet from my face listening to the fan whir.

29. What color is your bedroom carpet? - Beige

30. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do? - Expand the floorspace somehow. If where was an extra bedroom, a lot of storage problems would be solved. (lot of books and furniture. Takes up a lot of space.)

31. What was the last thing you bought? - iMac G3 off craigslist.

32. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike? - nope

33. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? - I tried zip-lining once. Nearly broke my hands and fell 30+ feet into a ~40 degree lake. High-flying stunts ain't my thing.

34. Do you have a garden? - No, but I (as in my family) used to years ago. It was nice.

35. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? - Yes, thanks 4kids /s

36. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? - why am I still here

37. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be? - Steve Wozniak, but my brain's so fried from exhaustion so often I'd probably royally fuck that lunch up.

38. Who sent the last text message you received? - My sister a few days ago. By mistake. Wrong "Andrew".

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? - If I had one and if I was stupid enough to max one out, definitely 100% my local game store, The Video Game Cavern.

40. What time is bed time? - My life is in such shambles that a bed time isn't even a functioning concept in my life. It's whenever I pass out.

41. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? - I'm a guy, so, no.

42. How many tattoos do you have? - None. I'm a total square.

43. If you don’t have any, have you ever thought of getting one? - Nah. Being broke + being a bear = never even a passing thought.

44. What did you do for your last birthday? - Nothing iirc. Had classes (then), didn't have that fancy a dinner, and just crashed that night.

45. Do you carry a donor card? - Can't be due to [insert some crap about bad bloodline]

46. Who was the last person you ate dinner with? - Ha. Ha. ha...

47. Is the glass half empty or half full? - depends on how the water got into the cup.

48. What’s the farthest-away place you’ve been? - Ohio. eh

49. When’s the last time you ate a homegrown tomato? - Not a fan of tomatoes. I think my dad still grows some during the summer (not a full garden, just like 3 veggie plants he tends in the flower beds)

50. Have you ever won a trophy? - Not really

51. Are you a good cook? - Well I haven't burned anything or cut myself yet so maybe.

52. Do you know how to pump your own gas? - Yes

53. If you could meet any one person whose deceased, who would it be? - You know, I never really thought about something like this. Honestly, not as much 'meet' but more of just have a good long talk with, my grandfather. He passed when I was 8, so I never got to really *know* him that well. I've learned more about him from his service papers than being around him a lot when I was young. So yeah, that.

54. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school? - Lol yep in middle school, uniform and enforced dress code. Everyone hated it back then, however since it was a small school in a massive district I never kept up with anyone afterwards so I can't speak for them, but I actually adopted practices from that dress code. Belt and polo not so much, but always wearing a nice shirt and keeping it tucked in, yeah. I've dressed that way every single day since then.

55. Do you touch-type? - Yep, but I'm weird and don't use the normal home-row hand layout thing. I can type proficiently, it just looks sloppy af

56. What’s under your bed? - A lot of junk. Binder of Gen 1 Pokemon cards, a case of cassettes, stack of old model railroading magazines, old busted up laptop, some blank paper.

57. Do you believe in love at first sight? - HA. Ha. ha......

58. Think fast, what do you like right now? - warmth. seriously, it's cold and my blanket is doing nothing.

59. Where were you on Valentine’s day? - Home, all day, doing pretty much nothing. just a typical day.

60. Life motto: - I don't really have a motto but if I want to be sappy I'd just lift the one from Horizons: "If we can dream it, we can do it" but I have no dreams and I literally do nothing

61. What was the name of your first pet? - I named all my fish once, but I was 5, so I'll just skip to my first cat. 'Whiskers'. Very imaginative.

62. Do you like to go camping? - Yes. I miss it. My sister and brother-in-law used to take me camping all the time years ago...but they've since settled down, had kids, and haven't done anything like that in a while. Meanwhile I'm broke, have no gear, no friends or anything like that so I can't do jack shit about camping.

63. Is there anything going on this weekend? - Not really. Just working on that iMac I keep mentioning

64. Do you have any nicknames? - Not really. Only thing that could vaguely qualify is 'swiss', the first word of my normal username everywhere else. Which is ironic since I'm 100% not Swiss.

65. Who is your favorite musician/band? - Genesis, Collins era. aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I've just earned myself a beating.

66. What time do you get up in the morning? - I STILL HAVEN'T EVEN SLEPT YET

67. Do you wear pajamas when you sleep? - usually. just a t-shirt and pj bottoms.

68. What is the first thing people notice about you? - dunno. don't really interact with enough people to notice anything

69. What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema? - err, probably Ghostbusters. The original, not the new one. They re-released it briefly in promotion of the new one. Fucking loved the new transfer and audio mix, blew the earlier (2014 30th anniversary edition screening) out of the water.

70. Do you sing in the shower? - Nah, I prefer the sound of running water

71. What do you do most when you are bored? - browse the internet, die a little on the inside. whatever's left, at least

72. What do you do for a living? - eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

73. Do you love your job? - EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

74. Which came first the chicken or the egg? - the egg because evolutilkjoirwjga;slkdfja;lkgja;eruhmynf;djva;n

75. How many keys on your key ring? - 3

76. Are you close with your parents? - physically too close, emotionally, further than the moons around jupiter. though that can be said about many things.

77. What kind of car do you drive? - Pontiac Grand Prix. Jumped through freaking hoops the past half a year just to be able to drive it since the damn title was stuck in limbo since March 2016. Just got the tag for it a week ago.

78. What are your best physical features? - people comment on my hair and eyes a lot so those, I guess

79. What are your best characteristics? - oh god. Well, guess you can say I'm determined. Like how I keep on with this survey even though I only thought it was like 20 questions long, not 100 or so. Also you could probably punch me in the face and I'd be the one apologizing.

80. What was the name of your favorite teacher? - Ms. Hamm

81. Where did you grow up? - At this point I've spent most of my life in this hell hole, so Greenville, SC. wait, fuck

82. How far away from your birthplace do you live now? - err somewhere around 300 to 400 miles. Essentially really just one state away.

83. Can you do any impressions? - I've perfected an impression of a sad sack of shit living in emotional isolation stuck in a permanent state of panic

84. Are you a morning person or a night owl? - Night owl by far

85. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? - No, ew

86. Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows? - kinda, yeah

87. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? - I couldn't be more of introvert if I lived in a literal hole in the ground

88. What is your best childhood memory? - driving a golf cart up a tree. Don't ask me how, but I somehow managed that when I was like 6. And by tree I mean massive pine. And by up it I literally mean the thing was hanging 5 feet off the ground on a branch.

89. What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life? - (Re: 72, 73)

90. Do you light candles where you live? - yeah, I enjoy LIGHT scented ones. In open rooms. Strong candles are migraine invoking pieces of shit

91. What was your favorite toy growing up? - wooden Thomas the Tank Engine

92. Do you play any musical instruments? - I am a defect in my familial lineage

93. Have you ever been involved in a crime? - I'm a goodie-two-shoes meh-fest, only thing I've ever stolen is a pencil off a teacher's desk and even that was an accident

94. Do you have long or short hair? - too long for my taste, but it doesn't really look long at all. crazy curls.

95. Have you ever spread a secret to others someone asked you not to? - Never been given many secrets, but I've always kept them.

96. What is your favorite movie? - Oh jesus christ. I just have a slew of movies I enjoy above average, I'll be damned if I could ever properly rank them. In no particular order: Jurassic Park, Short Circuit, Blade Runner, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Star Trek: The Motion Picture

97. Are you getting tired answering all these questions? - I'm already tired. This was supposed to be more amusing than anything, but it's actually felt good to just let my mind flow into the keys and out into this notepad file.

98. Last question.  Without looking can you remember what the first question was? - Something about lines in a book. It's what hooked my into doing this whole thing.

Wait, seriously, only 98 questions? Thought this thing would've rounded off too 100, then again, I thought it wouldn't be longer than 20 when I started and have just kinda been dragged through this whole thing. Well, it did feel kinda nice I guess. I'm debating if I should post this or not....eh, screw it, I'll throw it on my tandem tumblr. (Which it's short for TAND-EM, I was a retard and got the Tandy emulator confused for DeskMate, the proprietary Tandy OS shell. Nothing to do with bikes, but I guess the latin [at length] humorously applies as well.) I should probably write a header for this...oh, regarding the time questions, that was genuinely the time as of answering those questions. It's currently 9:46 AM. That's how long I've been at this. This...can't be healthy...

[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings November 12, 2018 at 11:00PM

Psalm 78

Psalm 78

God’s Goodness and Israel’s Ingratitude

A Maskil of Asaph.

1 Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth. 2 I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, 3 things that we have heard and known, that our ancestors have told us. 4 We will not hide them from their children; we will tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.

5 He established a decree in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach to their children; 6 that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and rise up and tell them to their children, 7 so that they should set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; 8 and that they should not be like their ancestors, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.

9 The Ephraimites, armed with[a] the bow, turned back on the day of battle. 10 They did not keep God’s covenant, but refused to walk according to his law. 11 They forgot what he had done, and the miracles that he had shown them. 12 In the sight of their ancestors he worked marvels in the land of Egypt, in the fields of Zoan. 13 He divided the sea and let them pass through it, and made the waters stand like a heap. 14 In the daytime he led them with a cloud, and all night long with a fiery light. 15 He split rocks open in the wilderness, and gave them drink abundantly as from the deep. 16 He made streams come out of the rock, and caused waters to flow down like rivers.

17 Yet they sinned still more against him, rebelling against the Most High in the desert. 18 They tested God in their heart by demanding the food they craved. 19 They spoke against God, saying, “Can God spread a table in the wilderness? 20 Even though he struck the rock so that water gushed out and torrents overflowed, can he also give bread, or provide meat for his people?”

21 Therefore, when the Lord heard, he was full of rage; a fire was kindled against Jacob, his anger mounted against Israel, 22 because they had no faith in God, and did not trust his saving power. 23 Yet he commanded the skies above, and opened the doors of heaven; 24 he rained down on them manna to eat, and gave them the grain of heaven. 25 Mortals ate of the bread of angels; he sent them food in abundance. 26 He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens, and by his power he led out the south wind; 27 he rained flesh upon them like dust, winged birds like the sand of the seas; 28 he let them fall within their camp, all around their dwellings. 29 And they ate and were well filled, for he gave them what they craved. 30 But before they had satisfied their craving, while the food was still in their mouths, 31 the anger of God rose against them and he killed the strongest of them, and laid low the flower of Israel.

32 In spite of all this they still sinned; they did not believe in his wonders. 33 So he made their days vanish like a breath, and their years in terror. 34 When he killed them, they sought for him; they repented and sought God earnestly. 35 They remembered that God was their rock, the Most High God their redeemer. 36 But they flattered him with their mouths; they lied to him with their tongues. 37 Their heart was not steadfast toward him; they were not true to his covenant. 38 Yet he, being compassionate, forgave their iniquity, and did not destroy them; often he restrained his anger, and did not stir up all his wrath. 39 He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and does not come again. 40 How often they rebelled against him in the wilderness and grieved him in the desert! 41 They tested God again and again, and provoked the Holy One of Israel. 42 They did not keep in mind his power, or the day when he redeemed them from the foe; 43 when he displayed his signs in Egypt, and his miracles in the fields of Zoan. 44 He turned their rivers to blood, so that they could not drink of their streams. 45 He sent among them swarms of flies, which devoured them, and frogs, which destroyed them. 46 He gave their crops to the caterpillar, and the fruit of their labor to the locust. 47 He destroyed their vines with hail, and their sycamores with frost. 48 He gave over their cattle to the hail, and their flocks to thunderbolts. 49 He let loose on them his fierce anger, wrath, indignation, and distress, a company of destroying angels. 50 He made a path for his anger; he did not spare them from death, but gave their lives over to the plague. 51 He struck all the firstborn in Egypt, the first issue of their strength in the tents of Ham. 52 Then he led out his people like sheep, and guided them in the wilderness like a flock. 53 He led them in safety, so that they were not afraid; but the sea overwhelmed their enemies. 54 And he brought them to his holy hill, to the mountain that his right hand had won. 55 He drove out nations before them; he apportioned them for a possession and settled the tribes of Israel in their tents.

56 Yet they tested the Most High God, and rebelled against him. They did not observe his decrees, 57 but turned away and were faithless like their ancestors; they twisted like a treacherous bow. 58 For they provoked him to anger with their high places; they moved him to jealousy with their idols. 59 When God heard, he was full of wrath, and he utterly rejected Israel. 60 He abandoned his dwelling at Shiloh, the tent where he dwelt among mortals, 61 and delivered his power to captivity, his glory to the hand of the foe. 62 He gave his people to the sword, and vented his wrath on his heritage. 63 Fire devoured their young men, and their girls had no marriage song. 64 Their priests fell by the sword, and their widows made no lamentation. 65 Then the Lord awoke as from sleep, like a warrior shouting because of wine. 66 He put his adversaries to rout; he put them to everlasting disgrace.

67 He rejected the tent of Joseph, he did not choose the tribe of Ephraim; 68 but he chose the tribe of Judah, Mount Zion, which he loves. 69 He built his sanctuary like the high heavens, like the earth, which he has founded forever. 70 He chose his servant David, and took him from the sheepfolds; 71 from tending the nursing ewes he brought him to be the shepherd of his people Jacob, of Israel, his inheritance. 72 With upright heart he tended them, and guided them with skillful hand.

Footnotes:

Psalm 78:9 Heb armed with shooting

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Joel 1:15-2:11

15 Alas for the day! For the day of the Lord is near, and as destruction from the Almighty[a] it comes. 16 Is not the food cut off before our eyes, joy and gladness from the house of our God?

17 The seed shrivels under the clods,[b] the storehouses are desolate; the granaries are ruined because the grain has failed. 18 How the animals groan! The herds of cattle wander about because there is no pasture for them; even the flocks of sheep are dazed.[c]

19 To you, O Lord, I cry. For fire has devoured the pastures of the wilderness, and flames have burned all the trees of the field. 20 Even the wild animals cry to you because the watercourses are dried up, and fire has devoured the pastures of the wilderness.

2 Blow the trumpet in Zion; sound the alarm on my holy mountain! Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble, for the day of the Lord is coming, it is near— 2 a day of darkness and gloom, a day of clouds and thick darkness! Like blackness spread upon the mountains a great and powerful army comes; their like has never been from of old, nor will be again after them in ages to come.

3 Fire devours in front of them, and behind them a flame burns. Before them the land is like the garden of Eden, but after them a desolate wilderness, and nothing escapes them.

4 They have the appearance of horses, and like war-horses they charge. 5 As with the rumbling of chariots, they leap on the tops of the mountains, like the crackling of a flame of fire devouring the stubble, like a powerful army drawn up for battle.

6 Before them peoples are in anguish, all faces grow pale.[d] 7 Like warriors they charge, like soldiers they scale the wall. Each keeps to its own course, they do not swerve from[e] their paths. 8 They do not jostle one another, each keeps to its own track; they burst through the weapons and are not halted. 9 They leap upon the city, they run upon the walls; they climb up into the houses, they enter through the windows like a thief.

10 The earth quakes before them, the heavens tremble. The sun and the moon are darkened, and the stars withdraw their shining. 11 The Lord utters his voice at the head of his army; how vast is his host! Numberless are those who obey his command. Truly the day of the Lord is great; terrible indeed—who can endure it?

Footnotes:

Joel 1:15 Traditional rendering of Heb Shaddai

Joel 1:17 Meaning of Heb uncertain

Joel 1:18 Compare Gk Syr Vg: Meaning of Heb uncertain

Joel 2:6 Meaning of Heb uncertain

Joel 2:7 Gk Syr Vg: Heb they do not take a pledge along

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Revelation 19:1-10

The Rejoicing in Heaven

19 After this I heard what seemed to be the loud voice of a great multitude in heaven, saying,

“Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power to our God, 2 for his judgments are true and just; he has judged the great whore who corrupted the earth with her fornication, and he has avenged on her the blood of his servants.”[a]

3 Once more they said,

“Hallelujah! The smoke goes up from her forever and ever.”

4 And the twenty-four elders and the four living creatures fell down and worshiped God who is seated on the throne, saying,

“Amen. Hallelujah!”

5 And from the throne came a voice saying,

“Praise our God, all you his servants,[b] and all who fear him, small and great.”

6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the sound of many waters and like the sound of mighty thunderpeals, crying out,

“Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. 7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready; 8 to her it has been granted to be clothed with fine linen, bright and pure”—

for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.

9 And the angel said[c] to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are true words of God.” 10 Then I fell down at his feet to worship him, but he said to me, “You must not do that! I am a fellow servant[d] with you and your comrades[e] who hold the testimony of Jesus.[f] Worship God! For the testimony of Jesus[g] is the spirit of prophecy.”

Footnotes:

Revelation 19:2 Gk slaves

Revelation 19:5 Gk slaves

Revelation 19:9 Gk he said

Revelation 19:10 Gk slave

Revelation 19:10 Gk brothers

Revelation 19:10 Or to Jesus

Revelation 19:10 Or to Jesus

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Luke 14:25-35

The Cost of Discipleship

25 Now large crowds were traveling with him; and he turned and said to them, 26 “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, 30 saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. 33 So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.

About Salt

34 “Salt is good; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored?[a] 35 It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; they throw it away. Let anyone with ears to hear listen!”

Footnotes:

Luke 14:34 Or how can it be used for seasoning?

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.