#Just needed somewhere to store this info for myself

[spearxwind]

I love the map you made for broken horizon! I've always wanted to make maps for my own worldbuildling, but Ive never figured out how. Did you draw that by hand, or use some kind of map generator, or some other option? im excited to see what else you have in store :)

Thank you!! And I'm flattered people think its done using a generator but its all done by hand!!

Also, I only recently figured out how to make maps that look decent myself recently so I want to share the techniques that helped me because it made making maps sooo fun fr. So here's kind of a walkthrough?

First off I blocked out the rough shapes of the continents, settled on what kind of biomes more or less would be in the different areas

If you want inspiration, or if you need help placing biomes, THIS SITE is super helpful for this stuff!! It can generate landmasses for you, and give you some misc biome info as well. I drew the continents on it and set parameters to get the types of biomes I liked and used it as an inspiration.

After the first block in, you just have to work hard un-refining the edges, and making them rough. Looking at real maps or at google earth helps for reference :] follow ur heart!!

Here's a screenshot of somewhere with less refined borders, this was me going over all the edges with a rough texture brush and making it look more natural. It just takes a lot of work to go in and refine stuff bit by bit but personally I find it really cathartic -w-

I did all of mine in black over white so I could see the silhouette of the coast easily

If you have any textured brushes that have rly rough edges, this is the time to use them, just make sure you aren't using any transparency!

Something that I found helped me a lot, if you are using a program like clip studio paint (the one I used) is use the edge feature. Maybe if you don't have csp you will have a similar feature on it? What it does is it creates an edge of the color of your choosing around everything on that layer. (This layer setting also negates any transparency that I mentioned earlier)

If you look here you can see it around the whole coast:

Here is how it looks like without the edge:

it's a lot different isnt it? This is up to personal preference but I think the edge helps a lot with the vibe of the map being hand drawn.

If you look close you can see that all of the edges are very jagged and pixelled, I think this helps a lot with realism as well since coasts are usually jagged (and they needed to be especially so for my headworld)

After doing this you just need to color in the biomes (or not! you can always do an old timey map and just write cities and stuff on there)

What's most important is that you go Out There and make maps and have fun!!! If you make any feel free to tag me in them 👍 I hope this helps!

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic Joel Miller

It's been a time in my world. Busyness and writer's block has been troubling. I think a lot of it stems from just feeling behind in general, so I thought I might launch into a catch-up campaign for myself ... in reading fic.

And I had a lot of this fella to catch up on.

So hold onto your butts, my friends, because herein lies the fics I loved in my several weeks of just. reading. Joel. <3

Spinner by @insomniamamma Joel has such a caretaker streak in him that being observant and taking to a neuro-divergent reader rings so true. I love a huddling-for-warmth tale--I do so enjoy a good cuddle with a gruff broad man.

The Reason for the Season by @prolix-yuy Now here's a fun idiots-to-lovers take where one of the yearners is our Joel. When Ellie has questions about old traditions, he takes her to the other idiot--a school teacher with a warm smile and some yearns of her own. Aka you. I very much enjoyed this tale of finding the many varied and true meanings for the Holiday in all its forms.

Please Mister Please by @grogusmum Hazel imagines Joel as a kindred lovely soul, one that has a song of his own that brings sorrow, just like yours does you. But is seems he has a better song in mind....

Carpe Diem by @boliv-jenta I love that fic writers want nothing ore in the world than to tell Joel he's going to get taken care of and doesn't have a choice in the matter. I'm so glad this one afforded him the chance to actually speak and grab the moment...even with a little help from a friendly weed...

Year of Small Joys: A Quiet Night In by @keldabe-kriff I'm in love with this little slice of post-apocalypse life. It gives me hope that even if the world falls apart, there will still be the chance to find the quiet somewhere, and with someone...

Simple Pleasures by @julesonrecord Listen. i don't care if the info trail goes cold or not. If it means getting off with Joel--even this cranky, somber version of him--I already consider my self lucky.

Able by @ladamedusoif I have no doubt that a cane would come in handy during an apocalypse, and for many reasons. It's fun to watch Joel realize it too, and to walk the reader through one of the things he knows--a full-blown panic attack. Disabled reader represent!

Snooze by @tightjeansjavi Short. Sweet. Quiet. A soft drabble of everything I want--now that Joel is safe and sinking into a domestic life, he loves him some naps. And with naps comes warmth and lazy days, and a big ol' bear of a man to cuddle with.

Mine by @secretelephanttattoo I really really love this beautifully written meditation on Joel and Tess' relationship; how they share intimacy and how they won't. It's heartbreaking and beautiful and so very real.

When His Eyes Open by @undercoverpena A beautiful train of thought from Joel as he opens his eyes to find you awake next to him, thankful for what you represent in his life. It's so soft and wonderful. It's a drabble, but I could read a whole multi-chapter fic of this.

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BY @something-tofightfor

Birthday Kiss #7: Joel Miller If I was stuck at the end of the world, I'd be thankful to have a Joel Miller to find me in the early hours, knowing exactly where I'd be and exactly what day it was, just to sing me a Happy Birthday.

Smutsgiving Feast 2023: Turkey - Joel Miller It's Thanksgiving in Jackson and Joel's been helping you get settled in after a traumatic past. Everything you need is here--family, an invitation, Joel carving a perfect turkey with his sleeves all rolled up...and perhaps there's more going on upstairs later....

Snow and Mistletoe (series) Rachael loves Christmas and I always look forward to her holiday fics since the coziness always comes through so strong in them. This series is no exception by far. A no-outbreak fic where you own a music store and Ellie's your niece and Sarah's her best friend and the two girls pull a parent trap on you and Joel in the very best way. It all unfolds against a backdrop of different holiday gatherings--social, work, family--and all of them sweet and beautiful and enticing in their own way. The season may be over, but this zinged me back in time a couple of months and I'm not mad about it. In fact, I'm thankful for it.

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BY @missredherring

Wrong Until You Make it Right A yearning Joel is always good in my book, but the earnest way he years after his plus-sized coworker here is so very juicy and sweet. I love to see him watch a lady do what she does best.

J.M. + "Tell me what you like" I think if I was stuck at the end of the world and asked Joel Miller to read to me because I had no glasses and he said yes, I might die of happiness on the spot.

Warming Up Joel deserves a good teasing, which is a little of what he gets for sleeping in while you go outside to shovel and then return to his furry, heated body to warm up. and, of course, maybe get a little recreational. After all, nothing warms up cold hands like all the bits and pieces of a Joel Miller.

A Flower in February I really love this story. Rachel does a good job of placing you firmly in the QZ with all of its bleakness, giving you one spot of color--a crocus in the snow. After a spot of bad luck with some bad people, Joel's there to set things right--well, as right as it can be. And I'll take it, because in the world of TLOU, it's everything.

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BY @ezrasbirdie

Observations This is so so sweet. Neuro-D reader is so observant about not being accepted or invited to be part of groups, it breaks my heart. But Joel sees her. Worries about her. Likes her. And he's getting better at pasta.

Sticky This one left me a mess. Maybe not as messy as the toy reader gives him to play with while she's gone or while she's on the phone, but I may have had to wipe the drool off my chin...

Crystal Now this one was made for me. Here we have a witchy reader and Joel has a lot of thoughts about her. Surprise though, because none of them are negative. They're curious and wondrous and endearing. He's bewildered by the hanging herbs and the rocks and oils, but they make her happy and that's all he asks. Sweet man.

Sparks Fly Two words: eating ass. That's what falls out of reader's mouth under the influence and perhaps that's a good slip because there's gonna be plenty going in her mouth--and Joel's--later on. And it's gonna be hot like fire.

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BY @blueeyesatnight

There's a Word for It As Blue says in her notes, this is where she lives. As in, it's what she does best. This here is a no nonsense meditation on Joel and Tess and how they met and how they functioned. There may or may not have been a word for what they had...it was many words. And they're all here in order, comprising this fic.

Trimmed This fic hit something deep in me, the way it uses memory is really lovely and really feels steeped in canon. The little things we share with someone, not worth mentioning to anyone else, hard to put into words how meaningful it is to you personally or maybe you don't know until they're gone...or until a familiarity with someone else triggers it...

Trouble This is a masterclass in examining Ellie and Joel after they return to Jackson. It weaves in and out of their shared POVs, examining their feelings about who they've become, how they justify Joel's actions and words, who they are to each other, how far they can trust one another, and maybe how tainted that love is. But it's still love all the same. It's amazing and packs a really good punch.

Honest Mistake A short and sweet trope reversal where Joel makes an honest mistake and instead of retrieving Tommy from a situation, kidnaps a boss instead. I love the way the brothers' relationship comes out in the dialogue.

Trying This fic broke my heart a couple of times. Blue imagines the Joel of beforetimes and then bridges the gap to Tess. The man just keeps at it, over and over....because its' what he knows. It makes his arrangement with Tess and actual heaven and I thank her for it.

I Like My Girls A Little Bit Older - (Over the Hill pair) And I like that Joel likes it. He certainly has a type and the reader in this fic has a real sassy, no-nonsense attitude that can meet Joel's in a pretty good dance. And that last sentence may be a spoiler for this story...maybe...

I Know Just What You're Saying - (Over the Hill pair) I love that when Joel is having trouble understanding a teenage girl, he has the foresight to go talk to someone what WAS one once. And that he cares enough to ask for the biiggest favor...and that the reader has no choice but to give it to him.

I Thought I Could Be Someone - (Over the Hill pair) There are so many forms of grief and some of them come out of nowhere from sources you never even knew. Blue does beautiful job in finding that moment here, all wrapped up in an unexpected softness from Joel. This is my favorite of the series yet.

Just Like Heaven - (Over the Hill pair) This brought me back to being a teenager, that "does he like me or want to keep me at arm's length" feeling, that "should I kiss him or is he gonna kiss me" feeling. Of course I get the ending I'm hoping for though! Blue is not gonna leave us hanging when it comes to Joel Miller.

That Summer Seemed to Last Forever - (Over the Hill pair) I still don't forgive Blue for this one. How dare she make me love so bittersweet? That's not to say it isn't beautiful and artfully done. Grab yer hankies, all.

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BY @morallyinept

O' Christmas Tree by @morallyinept This is a precious, delicate story, one in which Joel loves so deeply and hurts so much that the thought of losing you--a real possibility since you've been very ill. But he'd do pretty much anything to see you smile, even if it means facing down a day int he cold to bringyou something to warm your heart.

Northern Lights Imagine camping with Joel. Sharing a sleeping bag. Under the aurora. Hand stuff in the wild has never been so sweet and hot.

Saviour Harsh and heartbreaking and real, this Joel is almost beyond help and I love the way Jett so beautifully details the many little deaths of a survivor. Angst to spare here, but true to character all the way.

Adoration Imagine you are married to no-outbreak, breast-man Joel. Happy. Loved. With a lump. I'm so awed by this fic, that Jett takes a very common nightmare and examines it, never sugar-coating, never denying the difficulties. It's a hard process and maybe I cried. But then there's Joel and his beautiful, steady consistency. I've never been more in love.

Home I can't imagine the love of my life just disappearing one day...but Jett can. Don't worry though, there's a happy ending waiting for you.

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BY @maggiemayhemnj

Happy Tuesday There's no need for Valentine's Day if there's a Happy Tuesday. I love this take on a couple who know how sappy they are for each other but make a joke of subverting the sap. A no-outbreak Joel who's still 20 years on, 20 years in love, and 20 years loving it. Which is exactly how long I'll be loving these two.

A mini Happy Tuesday interlude (Spring prompt: Bees) - (Happy Tuesday pair) Maggie's damn good with a drabble, but even better with a good ending line. I smile every time.

He Sees You - (Happy Tuesday pair) If this is what goes through Joel's head as he watches you assess yourself in the mirror, then that man is in L O V E love.

Breakfast Is Served - (Happy Tuesday pair) I would do anything to be able to cook well, if only to be able to make biscuits for Joel Miller so we can sit at the table with messy bed head and use breakfast as Sunday foreplay.

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[sgiandubh]

Why would Ashley go to follow and stop following Caitriona? After all aren't sam and caitriona supposed to be just friends and colleagues so why do that? They're the ones creating all the fuss for nothing. If they acted like colleagues no one would go looking 🙄🙄🙄 . I don't understand this need to always dismiss Caitriona as if it's oh my god never associate Caitriona with sam. What a crime to see two friends together ! Following Caitriona means nothing, it doesn't define an affair nor a relationship between them so I don't see the point in avoiding following this woman 🙄🙄 !

Dear Following Anon,

You can try to dilute things as much as you want, but you seem to ignore one of the weird Laws of Thermodynamics in this fandom:

Follows and unfollows are important and relevant. Until they aren't.

I do not share many people's mystique in this regard, simply because I happen to believe social media is nothing more than a tool. Whether it is used for promo and/or manipulation is anyone's guess. What is clear is that there are more things than the bits we are privy to via Instagram, very often with an agenda.

In that particular case, the follow clicked with some info I was shared regarding that get together at the Milady's bar. I was also told Ashley did (help) organize the event, which is consistent with her posting an IG story featuring some Sassenach bottles she was delivering 'somewhere' just before it took place.

And then, there's also this detail:

Clearly she knew the owners/bartending team and arranged things.

But perhaps she thought/was told that would be exposing her too much and then changed her mind about following C? I suppose all we can do is speculate, Anon. Fact is Ashley followed her and she doesn't anymore. Anyone's guess, really.

I will respectfully disagree with you about them deliberately 'creating this fuss for nothing'. You probably are a Fencer and, as all Fencers do, you seem to be unable to connect the dots and never question anything you are told. A most regrettable, unpleasant thing that takes away all the fun and permanently closes all the interesting doors and avenues you could explore in this fandom. Your explanation does not hold: if there is nothing, why condone this ambiguity? For clicks? That is ridiculous. C doesn't give a flying duck about clicks and he just has to take off his shirt: mommies worldwide will instantly unite and drool. How Pavlovian!

There is also another thing: C's Stans really seem to have strong, repressed feelings for her, that might go beyond what is socially acceptable from a fan. They seem to display such a deep sense of possession, it often made me raise an eyebrow in disbelief. If we follow this reasoning, then McGill is the perfect, harmless companion: they see him as no serious threat to their fantasies. S is something else and their minds dissociate - otherwise, as Yeats once famously wrote, 'Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold'.

'Following Caitriona means nothing, it doesn't define an affair nor a relationship between them'. Oh, Anon, I hope you didn't imply Ashley and C... come on, get a grip! By now, all the side players must have been gently, but firmly briefed about people's behavior in this fandom: lack of filter, and all. What would you do, if you were Ashley Hearn?

Finally, let me correct something about the timeline of events - thank you for the opportunity to do so:

I did write in a previous post (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/765519132954329088/seems-sams-mom-has-been-in-new-york-as-well) that the Milady's get together was on October 17th. I was wrong and superficial, albeit in all good faith. It was on October 16th, after C was spotted at the Burberry's 57th Street Flagship Store Reopening VIP Dinner, in New York:

I do apologize for this mistake and would like to thank @mojo106 for rigorously setting the record straight: what would I do without your collective scrutiny? Probably make a fool of myself.

However, the whole rest of it is legit and I am sticking to whatever I could write about it. Never a problem acknowledging mistakes and owning them, here. Warts and all, Anon. Warts and all.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the asshole for not eating the cake my family got me for my birthday and instead getting my own?

so, it was my birthday recently and i typically don't like cake. i'm very picky about it. the only kind i really like is red velvet and sometimes really good chocolate cake. however, my family always gets me a cake from the local grocery store. usually something i don't like such as vanilla with regular icing or (imo) an abomination they sell that's a "snickers" cake and is sooo sickly sweet, i hate it.

well... they got me a "snickers" cake again this year. ngl i was pretty disappointed and sad. i've told them repeatedly i would really like it if they could order me a red velvet cake from somewhere bc that's my favorite but they never do. so when it came time to blow out candles i did but when they tried to serve me a piece i declined. everyone looked at me kinda funny but i shrugged it off.

(a note: i live with my grandma and mom)

so, the next day, i went out and bought myself some red velvet cupcakes for myself. my grandma found out and got really upset and called me ungrateful for not just eating the cake they got me. my mom took her side and agreed that i was being ridiculous and didn't need to get myself cupcakes. i didn't even saying anything about being disappointed, all i did was come home with red velvet cupcakes for myself... but now my grandma has called and told most the family and everyone thinks i was rude and ungrateful and am being a brat.

i guess i might be the asshole for not just eating the cake they got me? but i didn't like it and wanted red velvet. so AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[coraline-jones353]

Hii is it okay if I request Ray Manchester x Single Mother reader?

A little more info on her is that she works as a CEO and people think shes intimidating and scary due to how strict she is but in reality she only wants whats best for her coworkers and child

The way she met Ray was either through junk n stuff or maybe Captain Man thinking she was evil

Feel free to skip this! No worries :)

Omg thank you so much for the details, there a life savior. Since this is a request it will get pushed to the top of my drafts so it should be done soon!

A Ceo's World

Summary: Y/n is a single mother of a lovely young lady, melody. She's a big CEO in Swellview. She needs a particular object that can only be found at Junk n stuff for her daughters 10th birthday, or so she thought.

Warnings: Cuss words, made up singer for this, scheming kids

Y'all idk about this one I think it's shitty 😭

While driving to Junk n stuff all I can think about is how stupid I'm about to look. I had to drive to this random store just for some shirts and pins. The lengths I go for this kid I swear. Me, a well respected woman is about to go get merch from this random kid creator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sigh as I walk into the store. I scan the room and find nothing. Great, I think to myself now I have to go ask someone for help.

I look around for an employee and see a man at the counter. He's charming. Beautiful dark brown hair and omg his muscles. He looks like he works out in his free time. And I don't see a ring on his finger.

Today Mr. Gooch was out sick and there was no major crime, only Jeff so Henry aka Kid Danger just went to handle that alone. That left Ray there alone to handle the store.

This is bullshit, Ray thought to himself, I should be out there fighting crime and kicking ass but instead I'm stuck behind a counter for a fake store. Ray dramatically grabs a newspaper from the stand outside and sits in his chair, putting his feet up and relaxing.

Just then a customer walks in. Ray looks up from his magazine to see the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, hell she's even hotter than Henry's mom. She looks serious and is in business attire, she's got to be important. But he swears he has seen her somewhere. Perhaps in a commercial? Or maybe on a billboard? He scrambles to his feet and rushes over to his customer. A little too quickly he realizes as he almost trips over his feet on his way over.

"Hi I'm Ray, Manchester, Ray Manchester." He says in a frantic way like his words are racing to leave his mouth before he can even take a breath. "Hello, I'm Y/n L/n. I'm looking for merch for my daughter. It's from this singer, uh I think her name is AppleCore?" I say looking around for the familiar green shirts with a red apple on them. AppleCore is a famous girly pop singer that is popular around now. Many girls will come in the store just to try to find any "vintage" merch of hers. They come in, singing all her songs and shopping for apple stuff.

"Oh yeah I know what you're talking about, but we don't sell that here." Ray says "Oh I could have sworn she said it was here." I say looking around again. Ray watches your eyes go back and forth, up and down, his store hoping to find what it is she wants even though he knows he doesn't have it.

"Well I'll just look up the shirt and find another store." I say shaking my head at my daughter's misinformation.

"Wait, wait.. Do you think I could have your number?" Ray says in a panic as you make a bee line for the door. "My- my number?" My eyes widden in shock at his sudden interest in me.

"Yes. You're very gorgeous and I'd like to get to know you more." Ray explains with a dazzling smile.

[swaglet]

im seeing a bunch of people post about abortion and birth control and stuff like that because of recent events, and i just wanted 2 share some important info i know

1. if you track your periods, do not track them on an app, buy a small little 1 year calender from the dollar store and keep it by your bed/on your desk at home and use that to track it and any symptoms you get with it. nobody will be able to see it except for you and the people you choose, and there's no way for it to be shared electronically to people who shouldn't be seeing it unless someone scans it and uploads it to the internet somewhere.

2. if you live within road trip distance of western pennsylvania, i know an obgyn/surgeon who will do tubal ligations and bisalps upon request (with a referral afaik, at least in my case) with no questions asked for anyone of any age, for any reason: dr. kevin c dumpe, based in beaver falls, PA. this location is just under an hour north of pittsburgh, which has a major airport.

3. my personal obgyn also gives out referrals for bisalps and tubal ligations for anyone who asks regardless of age or if you have children or not. she also is amazing at taking your complaints seriously and working with you to access any labs/scans/referrals to specialists you may need in order to find out any diagnoses you have, and she also helped me find out & tweak what exact type and dose of birth control i need for my issues while still catering to my worries and needs, and she is super receptive to any feedback given and cares about you above all. if anyone is looking to switch from an unsavory obgyn to a better one, or just needs an obgyn in general, i believe she does telehealth/video visits (at least since the last time i checked) so if you'd like to be in contact with her just message me and i'll give you her name and info :P she's about an hour north of beaver falls, just under 2 hours north of pittsburgh

4. if anybody needs this info please share it with them!!! sorry reblogs are off it's just that this is all so close to home for me lol i don't want to accidentally doxx myself more than i have already

EDIT

5. again, if you are within road trip distance to western PA/can afford a plane ticket to pittsburgh, there are two abortion/reproductive health care clinics located inside of pittsburgh; planned parenthood, and allegheny reproductive health center. both do more than just abortions, and the allegheny clinic covers pretty much all the same things that planned parenthood does. i have volunteered for allegheny; if you request it, you will have escorts protecting you from any protesters outside the building or anyone else who may wish to harm you for going inside, and every service they offer has a sliding scale fee option and other financial options for people who may need it. they do abortions, birth control prescriptions including on the spot IUD insertions, and a lot of other things. if you were to need somewhere to stay, i could try to help you arrange something, and i would be willing to travel with you and offer you support

[theparliamentofrooks]

OKAY SO I HEARD ABOUT YOU BEING A COMPLETE YO KAI WATCH FAN AND BUCK ENJOYER AS THE BIGGEST BUCK ENJOYER MYSELF I WANT TO HWAR ABOUT YOUR HEADCANONS IF YOU WOULD NOT MIND, I WOULD LIKE TO INFO DUMP TO EACH OTHER ABOUT HIM BECAUSE HE IS SUCH A REAL CHARACTER I LOVE HIM

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIITERALLY THE CHARACTER EVER i will gladly drop everything i think about him (or like half of it at least) here. Absolutely. He taught me how it feels to have an obscure fave HAHA

One big thing is that I age up the Yokai Watch characters with me cause they're my No. 1 comfort characters, so Buck (and everyone else) are young adults (like 18). Also Buck is Mexican/Honduran because he has too much swag not to be

Out of the YW3 trio (Nate, Buck, Hailey) it's BUCK that's the smartest. He gets pretty good grades with minimal studying and only puts in effort for big exams. The first time Nate saw he got 100% on a test he was so mad because they blew the past week doing nothing but Yokai stuff

Also he's just really good leader material for the trio. Nate of course is the best leader for Yokai and everyone in general (when times are tough) but Buck thinks ahead well

Is extremely popular in town. Literally 65% of people know him by name. He's charismatic and makes friends easily when he wants to

Has a bad habit of laughing at jokes for a little too long. Nate has dry humor and when it catches Buck off guard he'll be snickering like half an hour after it dropped. "You're still laughing?" "It was funny!"

He initially gets envious of Nate and Hailey having Yokai watches but when they bring him to get one he's like damn wait these kinda look like ass. He strolls out of the Yopple store whistling and appreciating his necklace tenfold and the others are astonished.

(Whisper, diehard Yopple stan, wants to bite him for a week)

Five Assigned Yokai Partner: Shadow Venoct. Reasoning? Shadow Venoct is my favorite. Buck is my favorite. Plus it's cool like why not. I honestly think Shadow Venoct would meet Buck and they'd just click well because Buck wouldn't shy away from him. Shadow Venoct hangs out with him and Buck doesn't need a medal to summon him (just has to say his name with intent)

Buck has trust issues but they only flare up when new people are entering his circle. When Nate was becoming friends with his friends, Buck instantly got defensive and tried shaking him off. Same thing for Hailey suddenly befriending Nate, which makes Buck initially very standoffish with her. It felt like they were invading his space and he needed to know if they would click well before he started being friendly

Buck also eventually realizes that his family can naturally see Yokai, but he couldn't for some reason. (Or at least his sister Dorothy can). It saddens him deeply but he tries not to dwell on it too much. He's got his lucky UFO stone and that's what matters now

Okay back to fun stuff. HE'S THE MOST INSANE ONE ON ADVENTURES BECAUSE HE WON'T FUCKING SIT DOWN he's constantly on his feet poking around SOMEWHERE. Buck absolutely REFUSES to rest when there is something interesting and exciting he could be doing Nate has to cover him so often

Wishes he had the Yokai Watch Certified Pistol

I am a Nate/Buck yaoi truther (I want what they have so bad) but the comedic appeal of Nate being into his sister is also huge. Buck finds out Nate and Hailey are both vying for Dorothy's attention and proceeds to be a MENACE. Nate gets tossed into the ocean and Hailey has to cope with an anime figure release being pushed back

(Buck asked his parents to pull a few strings and refused to elaborate on when he became "interested in anime stock marketing")

Nate and Buck are absolutely gay for each other though. I don't do ships but it's undeniable it's just a fact. The one of like four ships I DO accept as my own

He constantly switches between calling Yokai 'Yokai' and aliens. It's a hard habit to break okay cut him some slack a burger with hands and legs is NOT a ghost LMFAO

Whisper and Buck sometimes butt heads. Buck will call Whisper out for Googling (YO-GOOGLING?) and Whisper reprimands Buck for doing risky things. Buck has also pulled on Whisper's tuft a few times but come on everyone else absolutely has understand his situation

Buck is effectively Nate's right hand man and vice versa. When Nate can't rely on Jibanyan or Whisper for something, his next stop is Buck

I HOPE THESE WERE FUN HEADCANONS TO READ!!!!!!! It has been a LONG time since I've thought hard on him but GOD I LOVE HIM HE'S THE BEST. THE CHARACTER EVER. Buck Hazeltine is a staple for my favorite characters he's THE face of "green characters that are witty, smile a lot, and five will inevitably love". Ugh he's awesome

And thank YOU for sending me this ask!!!! (I LOVE OPPORTUNITIES TO TALK IT'S MY FAVORITE ACTIVITY)

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month: Jamespotterthefirst

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @jamespotterthefirst! We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: Jamespotterthefirst Blog Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played? 

I started playing back in 2018. I kept seeing this thing called “playchoices” trending as number 1 on Tumblr (lol remember those days?). This would happen, without fail, almost every week! When I clicked on it, the posts were all about the finale of a royal story (The Royal Romance!). People made the most hilarious posts, complete with memes. I had no idea what it was, but I gathered it was an app. I downloaded it, and the rest is history. 

The first book I played was Desire and Decorum. It was absolute torture because it wasn’t completed yet. So I binged the available chapters. Yes, I spent real money on keys and diamonds, telling myself at least I wasn't spending that money on drugs. It was so much fun waiting for a new chapter every week, even if I’m an impatient mess. 

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the fandom almost immediately after downloading the app. 

As I sat in my living room, tapping my foot and waiting for the new D&D chapter to drop, I went back into the playchoices tag for content. It felt good to find other people who loved the story as much as I did. There were other users out there who were also waiting impatiently for the new chapter, writing fics and discussing theories in the meantime. There were also some of the funniest memes I have ever seen in my life. At first, I would quietly read and reblog. Then, I slowly started posting my own thoughts and theories (which were not very good lol but hey, this is tumblr after all).

3- How did you pick your url name? 

My life is one hyperfixation after another… The one before Choices was Harry Potter. More specifically, the Marauders era. I used to write for the pairing called “Jily”, composed of Harry Potter’s (dead) parents. Kelsey (@takeharryandgo) is a witness of just how much I love James Potter, Harry’s (dead) dad. In fact, our shared love for the pairing and character is one of the things that brought us together. 

In short, this URL is a reference to James Potter the first, Harry’s (dead) dad. Not James Sirius Potter the second, Harry Potter’s (living?) son. 

I saved it as a sideblog, meant only for writing resources for me to use at a later time. One day, I decided I didn’t want the followers on my main page to see all the Choices spam I was posting, so I resurrected the JP blog. 

4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog. 

My first Choices post was a shitty theory about Desire & Decorum: 

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’ve been writing fanfiction since I was a literal child. I used to write in a notebook and my friends would read during recess. It was awful but they were into it. One day, I used up the whole notebook and my friend was desperate for the next part of the story. I told her I needed to wait until my mom took me to the store (literal child) to get a new one. My friend got me a new one by the end of the day lol.

TL;DR that puts me at about 20+ years of writing. 

6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Without a doubt, Open Heart! 

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it?

Oh god, the first fanfic I wrote was Lily Evans and James Potter from the Harry Potter universe. I forgot the exact title, but it was named after an Avril Lavigne lyric. Again, I was a child, don’t judge me lol. It’s handwritten in a notebook I still have somewhere, but I will never open it again lest I die of cringe. 

My first Choices fic, on the other hand, was a Desire and Decorum fic called “A Wedding Gift” that only like 5 people read at the time. 

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oof. This answer changes depending on the day you ask me. I always overthink it and end up saying picking a favorite fic is like picking a favorite child. To avoid being here all day, however, I’m going to say: Fake Husband, She Walks in Beauty, and Lovely.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but could use a little more love?

Definitely, the fic I didn’t expect to do well at all if my first Open Heart fic: Lovely. 

I was so naive back then, knowing nothing about the Open Heart writing fandom. I had no idea what format or tags to use when posting. I was afraid there would be no readers out there who wanted to read a silly little story about my MC posting a thirst trap. All I knew was that the latest chapter of Open Heart Year 2 inspired an idea that wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it. 

I posted it and I was so incredibly lucky to receive so much support. Words cannot explain how special that was. To this day, I cannot verbalize how grateful I am for that. 

There isn’t really a fic I can think of that could use more love. It always amazes me that anyone gives my fics their time. So any feedback my fics get will always be valued and treasured by me. 

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Oh no. 

If forced to choose, I’d say fluff. 

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Absolutely! While I try to make every MC different, I often pull from experience when I write. My Open Heart MC and I have a lot of things in common (heritage, hometown, astrological sign, etc.) But I also wanted her to be her own character with life choices that are different from mine. Since I'm very boring, it definitely makes for better fiction that way. 

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

It depends on the day. Some days I struggle the most with dialogue. Others, my biggest struggle is descriptions. It's rare when I feel confident in both when I write. 

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

*laughs nervously in unfinished series*

There are a few series I have yet to finish. Once again, I apologize for leaving them untouched for so long! I plan to get my shit together soon! 

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

No! 

I don't think I could look anyone in the eye if they read some of the stuff I've written, especially for Choices. 

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

I strongly believe that one of the best ways to learn as a writer is reading. As such, I believe I've learned from most pieces I've read, particularly published rom com novels. In the fanfiction world, I admire my lovely friend @takeharryandgo. I've had the absolute joy of following her writing for over a decade. And with every work, I am still amazed by her masterful way with words! And her characterization is always spot-on. I simply love to read her spellbinding work and learn from the master! 

Other writers/creators I admire are:

@heauxplesslydevoted- one of the first OH writers I've ever read! Her smut is top-tier!

@jerzwriter - her stories, dialogue, and characterization are a delight to read. Her angst is painful. Her smut is sizzling hot! 

@liaromancewriter - a true master at romance! Her writing style is magical and synonymous with the best of rom-coms! 

@genevievemd - I bow down because the amount of love and care she puts into every piece truly makes her work special! 

 @lucy-268 - I have always respected the amount of research she puts into every piece. She pours so much care into it so that the narrative flows seamlessly! 

@a-crepusculo - her writing is so vivid and immersive. Reading her work is like listening to the most beautiful of symphonies!

@writer-ish - she is such a master at the craft! Her characterization is so vivid that the reader will fall in love no matter the format. Her text edits are legendary! 

@bex-la-get - such a talented and dedicated writer! She also pours hours of research into her work, ensuring every detail makes sense! 

@potionsprefect - she's such a creative and talented writer. She develops writing ideas like no one else I've ever seen! 

@headoverheelsforramsey- I love her storytelling and characterization! She's created a beautiful, inspiring, and intelligent MC for all of us to adore!

@gryffindordaughterofathena - her writing style is one of the most original I've ever seen. Reading her work feels like reading the loveliest of poetry! 

@coffeeheartaddict2- the dedication she puts into her work blows me away! She's daring when exploring themes in her writing, and she's not afraid to pull from personal experience. 

@lsvdw-blog - the person I'm sending my therapy bill to. Just kidding! Her writing is beautiful, even when it's the most painful angst. 

@trappedinfanfiction - she is such a lovely writer. The amount of detail she's given both of her MC's back stories has my absolute respect! 

@quixoticdreamer16 - I adore her MC and the wholesome, beautiful background she's given her! 

@mysticalgalaxysstuff - Another MC that has stolen my heart. I am so happy she started writing this past year because she's a real talent! 

@peonierose - love her beautiful MC and the beautiful love story she built for her with Bryce! 

@cariantha - a brilliant writer with talent for days! 

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

I would love to see She Walks in Beauty along with its series (1800s AU) in live action. Imagine Ana de Armas and David Gandy in period costumes? That alone would be worth it! 

17- Do you write original stories? 

I've crafted and outlined original stories before but I've never actually written them. One of my biggest goals for the new year is to finally start. Wish me luck! 

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

I love reading, hiking, and dancing! 

Yes, I picked the most “impressive” of my hobbies to seem cool. On most days, you'll catch me cuddling with my dog or bf watching YouTube/TikTok/Hell's Kitchen reruns lol. 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

I used the orange 🧡 and purple 💜 hearts a lot because they're my favorite colors!

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

For the record, I am also contractually obligated to read anything Kelsey writes 😘 

Thank you so much to every single reader who has given my work a chance these past three years!

Thank you to the wonderful mods of CFWC for all you do to support writers in the Fandom! 

[tj99er]

I'm sick and tired of social media, but I can't stop myself from logging in to Twitter and looking at toxic discourse. I still don't know what's wrong with me...

When it comes to curbing a social media obsession, will-power alone often isn't enough and there is nothing wrong with you for struggling with that.

As much as I love the internet and the social media found amongst it, most social media websites are intentionally designed to be addictive.

But IMO social media is still worth engaging with as long as the media that keeps you coming back is something that makes you happy.

But with Twitter in particular, I've noticed that, more and more, that is no longer the case. When it reaches that point, you should

0. Identify when it reaches the point of obsession. Of realizing that a hub of your free time has gone from something you enjoy engaging with to one that is involuntarily stealing your attention and making you unhappy.

When you do inevitably notice this, there are a number of steps you should take, either short term just to redirect your focus or long-term if you're committing to a full exitus like I have been.

1. Uninstall the app from your phone. No good can come from having the source of your problems in your pocket and 1 button press away. AT BARE MINIMUM remove the shortcut from your phone's background. It is more confrontational to delegate your primary Twitter access as something you can only see on your main computer.

At least there, any time you spend on Twitter is directly proportional to the time you could spend doing literally anything else. This should automatically make you care less about it since now competes with everything else you could possibly want/need to so and it can no longer permeate the between-spaces of your day as much.

If you're like me and the main reason you keep your Twitter account at all is to keep up with notifications...

1b. Stop ALL forms of non-essential posting INCLUDING RETWEETS of things you like. After being conditioned for years as the guy who retweets every Orin post he sees, this has been a slow unlearning process, but for every single post you make - even if it's just sharing someone else's art - is an open prompt that gives you more reason to return.

Copy a link and share it in a discord server if you MUST, but any time you open the website and see a number next to the notification tab, it is a validation that you have reason to keep coming back.

If limiting it to your main computer isn't enough...

2. Completely log out. You know what's even more confrontational than needing to already be in your recreational space? A big ass screen plastered with the website's branding that requires you to manually enter your information.

If your browser has your login info saved, remove that shit. Your mission is to make signing into your account as inconvenient as possible.

Doing this much has historically been enough to keep me away most of the time, but some people may need to go farther...

3. Change your password. Create a completely incomprehensible and string of characters and store it somewhere inconvenient, but in a place you will never lose it. This is where things can get a bit risky, but if you truly and utterly misplace your password, you got a recovery email and 2FA for a reason.

And if forcing yourself to jump through all of these hoops isn't enough, you may just have to face that it's time to

4. Delete your account. Look, if you are struggling to control yourself to a point where you can STILL notice your usage habits are out of your own control - even after jumping through every single one of these hoops - this is an extreme problem and the time for cautious self-created barriers is probably over.

If you truly and utterly can't fight off the urge to return to a platform that you can confidently recognize as being harmful to your well-being, then the only thing left to do is to give yourself nowhere to return to.

Take a day to archive any personal favorite posts or bookmarks, and wipe the slate clean. Twitter may very well continue existing but you can at least ensure your own space within it does not.

Just as your addiction can be fed by the press of a single button, so too can it be cut off. Social media is given value through the connections you make over it. Although you technically CAN just create a new account, it will never be the same as your old one and that gives way you less to return to.

[chemicalbrew]

Give me a vocaloid take

Reverse Unpopular Opinion: instead of salt or hot takes, you MUST talk about something you like about it.

um this is probably going to get silly and long and overshare-y so under a cut it goes

you know what listening to vocaloid music is about, to me? friendship.

i'm pretty sure my first ever vocaloid song was senbonzakura sometime in middle school (lol), and it blew my seventh(?)-grade mind, but somewhere along the way, i decided looking up more info was the wrong thing to do. the reason for this, as you'll soon see, is stupid and awful and makes no sense.

since i was even more lonely back then than i am now and often derided for the sort of music i like (by my dad, at least - but i was often given shit for liking dubstep\edm and such, even though it was even more of a hot thing in the 10s than it is now), i thought getting into vocaloid seriously would give people more reason to point fingers at me. or something. (it sounds ridiculous to me now both because i grew up and also because i barely see people anyway #disabledsweep)

nevertheless, dad still mocks me occasionally. about half a year ago i was laughing my ass off at this song and he overheard and made fun of me for listening to 'japanese shit' which. can you believe that? he always brushes this sort of thing off incredibly quickly, but i get pissed every time i remember. he used to tell me i shouldn't play smash either because 'girls don't play fighting games' and i KNOW the only reason this doesn't happen any more is because i dropped the game. anyway that's not what this was supposed to be about oops-

where was i... so i admired vocaloid for the longest time, it feels like, but i forced myself to kinda stop and forget about it for the dumbest reason on earth. and so it would be even now, if it wasn't for a certain person becoming fast friends with me and sharing music he liked. which. GUESS WHAT A LOT OF IT WAS?

(guess why i still go insane for reincarnation apple two years and a broken friendship later?)

seeing him share songs with me so confidently and us agreeing on what they mean to us and getting to learn more about him through what he shared (this sort of thing always gets personal even if you don't mean it. that's half the fun!) was a special experience that makes my heart hurt (pleasantly though) even now, and the thing is? it just keeps happening! the only difference is the people it involves.

opening my vocal synth music folder, which has slowly ballooned to about 160 absolute bangers to be stored forever and ever, is always a picture-perfect blast to the past. i can easily remember how i found most songs (I was obsessed with PinocchioP's Fake meme instantly when it came out), or who exactly showed it to me (a certain mutual who might be reading this introduced me to Iyowa and GOD BLESS), if they told me anything about it (Nayutalien's Alien Alien makes me wanna scream for Reasons), or if it came to mean something specific to me down the line (don't talk to me about ATOLS' Tawashi Cleaner or Chimera omg). it's all vague and often hard to explain, and most times I wouldn't even want to, but this, this meaning you end up assigning to songs you find which in turn enriches your life...

i think this is what liking vocaloid is about :)

on a slightly less serious note: over time I realised that I go through phases with this... or, more accurately, vocaloid music to me is something between a portal to a different world and an endlessly renewable source of energy.

it probably has to do a lot with me tending to gravitate to faster and... bouncier songs, for lack of a better word, but most of my big favorites is stuff i tend to blast when i'm in dire need of an escape from my own emotional state and\or need to force myself to keep going on some tasks. it works like a charm every time, even though i normally don't like using any songs with lyrics for these purposes...

over time i came to a conclusion that... having fast lyrics that don't immediately make sense to me drown out the song actually helps me focus LOL. that's exactly why i owe dod3 music my life, after all :3

i think another thing i wanted to say is that... without my friends being there to show me stuff it would be so much harder to discover my own preferences... :') obviously i'm glad vocaloid is a phenomenon that encompasses almost everything under the sun, but it also makes it so damn scary to try and branch out. i wish there was some kind of tool or place where you could show stuff you already know you like and get better recommendations without embarrassing yourself LOL

[electronicobjectum]

hey dude I found your blog today (not sure why it was recommended to me but here I am)

I dont personally identity with objectum or finding that sort of pleasure from objects, but as I'm exploring the tags im finding myself really curious and I want to understand more. I'm hoping you can answer some questions for me.

the objects you have an attachment to (in your case I think its a keyboard), do you think you're naturally drawn to these objects, or do you think there is a deeper connection with these particular items? Such as a personal history with said item?

Did you "choose them" or did they "choose you", ig?

Do you think its an aesthetic attraction to said objects, or is there something more they bring to you?

How do you and others determine pronouns for the objects?

When did you learn objectum was what you identified with?

I want to be clear this is coming from a place of curiosity and a wish for an understanding! I find myself drawn to certain objects myself (mainly things with physical buttons and screens, particularly handheld devices) but for me its strictly aesthetic and not romantic. Take care and happy holidays ✌️

casually forgets this was sitting in my inbox 😳

my main object isn't a keyboard, it's an astrolite (made by hasbro in 1969), a "futuristic" toy that came with clear pegs that you could put in the holes on top and create a city (main draw). i feel like it's extremely obscure, there's barely any info online about it. the part of aster that i love is basically just a lamp, plug that sucker in (no on/off switch) and spin the wheel to make the pegs on top turn different colors. when i got aster it was just them, no pegs or information or anything. just a serial number on the back. finding that one ebay listing that told me everything i needed to know kinda solidified our relationship. it's definitely a deeper connection but lamps in general just kinda hit different.

i saw them in that store and it was true love at first sight but i'd like to say it goes both ways (has no idea how to explain this)

something about corners and shapes is what initially drew me in but they've been with me through everything ever since i got them. not trauma dumping on side but i've been through it.

i'm not sure how others do it but the way i do it is test pronouns with each object as i'm getting to know them. if it feels wrong i disengage with it, if they feel okay then i keep trying it out. i'm not 100% sure on what aster's pronouns are tbh; they mainly go by he/him but there are some occasions where he goes by they/them. including now.

it's kinda embarrassing to admit but that lamp in dhmis was what got me acting up about objects in the first place. thought it was just a character specific thing at first so i didn't think much of it. met/acquired aster and that completely flipped. i remember searching for stuff like "i love an object what is this called" and quickly came across the term. immediately applied that to myself.

also another thing, i actually have a few beloved objects (not as much as aster but they're pretty important to me): baby, my 2005 ford focus, and charlie, my gaming computer. ofc you probably know this already because i know i posted a list of them somewhere on this blog. but i've kinda been getting into nintendo consoles/controllers recently (corners and shapes <3)

i enjoyed answering these! if there's anything else you'd like to ask, go ahead ☺️ sorry that this took so long tho 😭

[yoonyia]

you know I always get this feeling when I say something clever or heartfelt that it's someone else's words, like I took then from somewhere, or more likely someone, else. And I wanted to figure out why, because maybe I did hear the idea from someone else but I'm the one who wrote it down, it's someone else's ideas but it's still technically my words isn't it? But then I thought about it a bit more and I think I know why now. When I was 5 I did this really weird thing where I divided up my consciousness into 2 pieces, there's me and one of my voices. Then over the years I've divided more and more and now there's 3 voices. These voices aren't just hallucinations that happen sometimes they're a part of my consciousness that processes and or stores information in their own minds. And usually when I say something it passes through their analysis and their way of thinking, refined and edited to be something else. And sometimes I just send them a question like "hey that's interesting, let's think about that, or research about it" and then they go exploring that idea while I'm not consciously indulging in the idea myself. Because they're apart of my consciousness yes, but I dont think about everything they think about. So it really does feel like it's not my idea at all, since when it eventually comes back into my consciousness none of my words are in it. But then isn't that silly, I keep on saying I should utilize their skills, their abilities, like they're some seperate identity that lives in a different brain that sometimes visits mine to give info and leaves into some web of brainlessness (a sort of philtonic web in nothingness if you know enders game) But it's not that, it's all in my skull and everything they think about and say it's still what I thought about and said. It takes energy from my body and uses my electrons to get to conclusions that should be mine. So now I'm trying to give myself more credit for the things I say. I'm in general trying to be nicer about myself and be less "no that wasent me that did that good thing". Because I kinda realized that saying I did something without even thinking about it myself and it just fell out of my skull with no personal input sounds like I'm bragging, and honestly maybe it is, I don't see it as a particularly good ability but i do admit it is special and maybe I have some pride about it that I don't realize, also the idea of giving your self more credit to make yourself seem less capable is an interesting idea, think about that. Also the fact that you could be feeling something as big of an emotion as pride subconsciously, maybe I suppressed it or tried disconnecting myself from it, never really remembered ever feeling pride. I really don't know anything about myself, I like studying people but I should probably study myself too. I also ask questions but I never study. I should probably go actually study cause I have some art homework to do, thank you tumblr for being here for me always when I need to ramble, and making me feel safe enough to do it.

[ashmouthbooks]

omg wait are you in denmark??? can I ask where you get your book binding supplies, like the paper for the covers? I immigrated from the US in Sep just as I was getting into the hobby and havent figured out hobby shopping yet

I am not! I live in London, UK, and I get all my supplies from here as after Brexit it's often more hassle than it's worth getting stuff shipped from Europe, and shipping costs from the US are outrageous.

YOU, however, live in a) the EUROPEAN UNION and b) a fairly centrally located country with easy train connections to the rest of Europe. Please enjoy it for as long as it lasts, I miss it every day.

I don't know where to get bookbinding supplies in Denmark as I didn't start this hobby until after I moved to the UK. For general arts & crafts needs I used to go to Søstrene Grene (and last time I was home I stopped by quickly and they haven't changed at all) as they have a wide variety of decorative papers and related items. they tend to be seasonal so check by every few weeks if what they have doesn't appeal. It also has to be said they cater to a very specific target audience so most of the stuff they have is very instagram-friendly and pastel-y, but I've been lucky in the past and have found nice things.

Panduro Hobby is where I would go to get things like cutting mats and sharp knives and adhesive, possibly. they also have random craft tools but I wouldn't trust them to have things like bonefolders in their sortiment. they also have plain coloured paper of the kind that you can usually find in any store that carries stationery, I like to use that kind of paper as endpapers when I just want something plain, but still coloured. they sometimes also have decorative paper.

I have made it a habit here in the UK that whenever I go somewhere that has a gift shop or carries gift-related inventory (museums, art galleries, bookstores, etc.) I check the wrapping paper rack. these places will often have large single sheets of decorative paper meant for wrapping gifts BUT one can usually also use them for cover papers, or even endpapers. they don't always take moisture from adhesives well, so be careful working with those kind of papers, but maaan the variety of random pretty wrapping papers in stores like these is genuinely upsetting to me as I must Restrain Myself, but anyway, go to these places and see what you can find!

back to my point about the EU. I strongly recommend that you look towards Germany and elsewhere in the EU for things you can't find in Denmark, and have it shipped to you. within the EU there's no import/customs tax or anything like that, and I've always found German companies to be reliable and fast. Sweden might be an option too? If you're in Copenhagen Malmø is just 25 minutes away by train and for all I know there could be something there worth visiting. and for Germany, jump on a train in the other direction and make a daytrip out of it. You can get to Hamburg or even Berlin and back in a day.

also, I enjoy Pepin Press papers a lot - here in London I get them from Daunt's Bookshop - Pepin Press is based in Amsterdam but their papers are carried by retailers globally, for more info check https://pepinpress.com/

[nsk96]

Personal rant and maybe some trauma dumping. Saving for later when I see a therapist (I may have to see one in secret because my mom thinks I should wait until I get a job before seeing one because she thinks they’ll have access to my psych info and that will prevent me from getting a job😬)

I went to an appointment with a neurologist yesterday and he was confirming my symptoms and health conditions and all that. Literally going down a list and I answered truthfully to all of them. Then he asked, “any weight gain” (in the past few months) and I said no.

My mom jumped in and said “really?” In a sarcastic condescending tone (right in front of the doctor. I think even he was shocked). I was taken aback but I just repeated my “no” to her nonchalantly. I honestly hate her sometimes. It’s like she can’t go a single day without saying something negative about my body. Even when I brought her constant negativity up to her last year and she promised she would not make any more comments about my body, but she’s been back to it again the past couple of months. And she likes to say “I know you’re sensitive about your body so I try not to say anything.”

1) I haven’t gained weight. I may have been eating junk food (that she bought) for lunch lately but I’ve lost 3 pounds since May and continue to lose weight because I’ve been more careful how and when I eat. Like eating junk for for lunch but eating a balanced breakfast and nothing but veggies/fruit for dinner. She even said in the car ride to the appointment that she gained weight. So projection much?

2) I’m not sensitive about my body. It’s just that because of her, I hated my body for 22 years, and now at the age of 27, I finally am starting to love my body and feel comfortable in my own skin. I don’t want her to ruin the momentum.

Also just a side note: it’s no surprise that my dad didn’t even care about my reason for seeing a neurologist. When my mom told him that my ophthalmologist referred me to the neurologist, the only thing that came out his mouth was “I hope it doesn’t cost us too much.” Not once did he ask why I was being sent to the neurologist. Never asked what’s wrong.

And then today some more of the things I bought online arrived. I got a mini 8-key kalimba and a Sailor Moon music wind box. My mom of course tried to make it seem like they’re unnecessary and she was like “you’re not even going to use those things, you don’t have the time.” Why she got to shit on my parade? I’m finding things I like and enjoy and using these things pull myself out of the depression I’ve been in (since last December). And musical instruments is somewhat of sore spot for me. Not having the time to learn how to play instruments is not my fault, and it sucks that I always been drawn to it. Since I was 4 I was always dabbling with whatever instrument I could find and didn’t care what my playing sounded like. I just wanted to make music. But my brother was the one who got music lessons (which he hated and never appreciated) and we couldn’t afford any lessons for me. And that sits on my subconscious and resurfaces whenever I see an instrument. I think that’s one of the few things I was envious of my brother for. That along with the social privileges he had for being a son instead of a daughter.

I also find it funny that she acts like she knows what I would use. Lady doesn’t even know I bought toys…the other kind of toys, if you know, you know 👁👄👁

Honestly, it’s shit like all of this (as well as the things I mentioned on other rant posts) that makes me want to get my own place and cut contact once I get a stable pharmacy job. I don’t need my mom instilling her insecurities and outdated views into my future children and I don’t need my dad even being around them.

I wanted to move out this semester without my dad knowing. I would spend my days there and then sleep at home. Use the place to study and store healthy food and be able to personalize the space to finally feel at home somewhere. My school would have given me the loan for rent. My mom talked me out of it saying “let’s save the money. And if your father finds out about you moving out, he’ll cut you off and you’ll no longer be covered under his health insurance. We still depend on him for a lot.” Okay I understand that but I sure hope you don’t use that as an excuse to stay with him after talking big about how you’ll divorce him when I finish school. Honestly I want to get out now, I hate living this way. I hate how hard it is to eat healthy and to have to guard my food. I can never do food prep the night before because of him and my health is suffering because of it. My hair has been falling out even more and I have visible bald spots now. There’s only so much that vitamin supplements can do…

[z-h-i-e]

The difference now is that retail didn’t used to be shit. I went back to my original retail job twice (and both times returned to a promotion). I worked for a ‘mom and pop’ store, literally. We were family there. I went to my boss’ house for Christmas parties. They gave us yearly bonuses based on how well the sales were for the year. When an employee turned 18, they started a retirement plan for them, not because they had to, because it was the right thing. We had bowling parties. They hired a comedy group to come in and perform at the store after hours for the crew one time. Years later, I was in a newspaper and they cut it out and framed it on construction paper with a glitter border and had a cute former employee message with it and hung it in the lobby.

But more than all that, they treated us like people. When I started and they asked what to call me and I said Zhie, no one questioned it. When I had theater and orchestra, I had off Friday nights and weekends. When I started college, they had a party for me and made sure I could attend all my classes. I got a job on campus and left them, but when that job ended six months later they hired me back within two weeks (basically the day they found out I was looking for a job)—as a manager.

And when things went bad, they took care of us. Disrespectful customers were asked not to return. Really bad weather? We were told to use our judgement and close early to get home safe. And so many nice customers. Sure, there were people who were jerknuggets but they were few and tended not to be return customers.

When I go to stores I can’t say I’m always like, ideal customer — typically due to the self checkout kiosks — but I find myself trying to chat and joke with any clerk who says hi. I had a nice chat today with the clerk at Speedway; he’s always saying fun things, so I try to at least say hi and thank you and have a good one if I don’t have time for more talking (tonight we did talk about my un-vacation). I had a problem at the craft store the other day and the clerk had to return and rering the whole order (neither of us noticed it rang through 23 of something I had 2 of until we finished the transaction). As I was joking with her while the manager came up to verify, she said something like ‘you’re just an angel, being so nice, you know that?’ And the thing is, all of us can be that to clerks, even on a shitty day, because I was indeed having a shitty day that day, and I could have been a jerk about the register mistake, but #1 she’s not the person who made the prior shitiness happen and #2 it takes a lot more energy to be an asshole. Far better to laugh about not needing 23 bottles of glitter paint even if the universe thought I did. (It also rang up 4 candy bars instead of 2, but for that I just grabbed two more candy bars—I mean if the universe wants me to buy two more Hershey bars with almonds, who am I to argue?)

Going back to part the first - said store is gone, run out of business by big boxes and the internet. So my last bit is, to keep good little stores in business to be islands of retail paradise, we have to shop at them when we can. It’s why I pick up comics at an independent store instead of getting them ordered from somewhere online or buying digital, and pick up soup and bread and produce at the fruit market that is LGBTQIA friendly and STILL has plexi up to protect their workers, and order Chinese food from the family business down the street instead of a chain store where it’s technically faster and cheaper and has a drive thru. It’s because I want to see these places stick around, I want to see opportunities for people to work at places that are happy and good.

Pulling on the info from the second bit above — I enjoyed working Black Friday when I worked retail. #1 - we didn’t open until noon so that employees could sleep in from Thanksgiving or go out and shop elsewhere.. #2 - we didn’t have special sales. Whatever the normal sales were was it.. #3 - because of #1 & 2 at a time of no internet shopping, we still got tons of happy customers because they had gone elsewhere, elsewhere was out, and we had what they needed.

I wish we had a mindset collectively and an economy that could support more small businesses.

People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.

[fastlanehqs]

WELCOME TO MIDWAY, DUDE. Take a look our checklist for a few little deets before we get started.

OOC INFO

Alias: Bowie

Age: 25

Pronouns: He/Him

Timezone: Pacific rn. 

Triggers: [REDACTED]

What made you want to join? I like to torture myself < 3

If you aren’t chosen for your first skeleton choice, what are your second and third choices? [REDACTED]

Anything else? Era appropriate song: Shirley Bassey, Killing Me Softly With His Song (1973). I realize this rp is set in 1971 so you can shoot me for that (affectionately). 

Pinterest: https://pin.it/4uuWe6WAR

IC BLURB

[ASHLEY MOORE, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER] Well, well, well, [PAULINE “POLLY” JOHNSON], after that stunt you and your friends pulled, half of town didn’t think you’d make it to graduation! Let alone turning [18]. You’re getting a reputation as [MISS AMERICA] you know, it’s all the talk around [MIDWAY AND, MORE NOTABLY, SALLY’S COSMETICS STORE!] Nevertheless, Principal Grauss announced your postgrad plans to [STUDY EDUCATION AT GEORGIA STATE UNIVERSITY OR … DITCH THAT PLAN ALTOGETHER FOR THE OBVIOUS PATH] when you walked across that stage and got that diploma. Folks around Midway will always remember you as [CONFIDENT + AMBITIOUS] and [CONTROLLING + VINDICTIVE].

WRITING SAMPLE PROMPT #2 (The Most Recent Prom)

Note: I inserted other characters just to play around with the world. 

Polly descended the makeshift stage carefully, holding the hem of her baby blue dress so as to avoid trampling on it underfoot. The fabric shimmered with every step she took, sequins catching strays of an obnoxiously large disco ball to create a dazzling display of turquoise. Her boyfriend, [Terry Bradshaw], was nowhere near her side in the post-crowning glow. She couldn’t even stand to look back at him, focusing only on the roar of his football buddies somewhere deep in the crowd. Their howling overshadowed gentle clapping and the live band that picked up from where they left off before the announcement. Irritation that had been sitting in her chest since the moment her boyfriend rolled into her cul-de-sac intensified. Polly didn’t even need to glance back to know that Terry was probably taking in the moment on stage. Pumping his fist in the air or showing off the crown in some other obnoxious display of muscles. If it weren’t for the bickering after Terry picked her up with a disgustingly pink corsage, maybe Polly would have dared to share the limelight with him … Give the crowd an encore with a wistful kiss to hum and haw over. Create a great visual of Midway’s most beloved couple to kickstart the summer … but the only thing on Polly’s mind at this moment was Terry’s stupid grin as he showed up to her house 20 minutes early. His clammy hand groping her waist for a picture …  The way his choice of a pink corsage clashed against her entire outfit … Normally she could compartmentalize the annoyance and stand by his side but tonight was her night. The night of all nights. She needed air. Pronto. 

Polly flounced forward with only one destination in mind. Anywhere but this unrecognizable gymnasium draped in twinkling lights. Streamers hung from the rafters, cascading gentle waterfalls of glitter atop the heads of hair sprayed updos and slicked back mullets. Equally nauseating was the heaviness of B.O. overlaid by layers of cheap cologne. It mingled with freshly cut flowers that adorned every table to create something entirely vile. Polly’s smile grew tighter with every “thank you” muttered in response to congratulations from classmates, desperation at the forefront of her thoughts as she hunted for an exit sign. A second of fresh air to recenter her thoughts and adjust the crown that was definitely messing with her hair. She strutted the perimeter of the gymnasium until her eyes caught a shadowy corner where [The Dirtbag] stood. He was, for a lack of better words, a murky glass of water in a drought. The thought alone was vomit inducing. Polly approached quickly, a vein soon about to pop in her forehead. 

“Well, well, well …” [The Dirtbag] drawled, smirk widening as she got closer. “Should I be saying congratulations or are you-” 

“Shut up.” Polly snapped. The edge in her voice was real, not half-hearted with amusement as usual. No eye roll, either. She moved closer to where he leaned against the wall, arms now crossed against her chest, inching forward to avoid eavesdroppers. “Is there a cigarette somewhere in that moldy suit?”

The Dirtbag’s smirk faltered. He reached into his suit for his pack of Wintsons, wordlessly offering a stick to her. Polly unfurled an arm to snatch it, throat tightening as she swallowed away a thanks. The best she could muster was a pursed smile, straightening her shoulders to pivot towards an exit sign. The promise of cool concrete ahead. Unbeknownst to Miss America, the entire trajectory of Polly’s night was about to change with the turn of her shoulder. She glanced back at [The Dirtbag], not bothering to meet his gaze in her periphery. Radiating indifference. 

“I’ll be needing a lighter too.” 

Provided that [The Dirtbag] wasn’t already wasted on shitty punch, he’d understand it was an invitation.