#Just experiencing such awe and love for a planet he can only be on for 3 minutes a day

[ask-cloverfield]

Genuinely think one of the most charming parts of Ultraman (other than his initial mildly sinister aura) is that the planet that he adores has an atmosphere that is toxic to him

Love that

[rosenclaws]

Birds of a Feather || Old Man!Logan x Reader x Worst!Logan

summary: Logan loves you even if he can't say it but he knows that given his old age he's been lacking in the intimacy area. When a strange portal opens up and another Logan tumbles out of it, things get a little messy. (Or Worst Logan cucks Old Man Logan)

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, fem!reader, cucking, fingering, rough sex, cum eating, masturbation, thigh riding, oral (female receiving), overstimulation, mating press, doggy style, dirty talk, kinda mean!worst logan (he taunts old man logan a lot), slight pain kink (Logan), ass play, nipple play, breast play. Also neither logan ever interact with each other beyond talking.

a/n: Soooo Merry Christmas!! Here is my gift to all of you lmao. So to set a few things up, At the start both men are called Logan but a couple paragraphs in is when I separate them into James and Logan. I really hope it doesn't get confusing but I did my best lol. I really hope this lives up to peoples expectations im kinda nervous lol. Anyways happy holidays and I hope u love it!!!

Logan was an old man now. The adamantium was seeping itself into his blood. Killing him. It had been for years but with his healing factor starting to fail him the poisoning was truly taking its effect. He was weaker, tired. His heart was touched by a poison and it was turning him cold. There's only one good thing in his life now and it's you.

You're too kind. He tried to keep you away from his fucked up life but you were relentless. You were an experienced nurse who could take care of Charles. Free of charge. He fought you at every step of the way. Not wanting your pity. But he caved. 

Eventually you started taking care of him too. You were just too pretty, too charming. He couldn't stay away. This old man doesn't believe he gets to be happy and you try to change his mind every day. He did his best to take care of you too but the one area he knows he's lacking is the sex life. He tries, he really does. But he's old and while you're the sexiest thing on the planet, sometimes he just can't keep it up or he just can't finish.

It's embarrassing. Humiliating. You wave him off, telling him that it's not a big deal. That he still pleases you in a million other ways. Riding his face, his big fingers, you don't need his cock to know that he can take care of you. But it still bothers him. Still you lived your lives and things were fine. Until something weird happened. Really fucking weird. A large yellow portal opened up in your house. Logan bared his claws and pushed you behind him, ready to fight whatever the hell stepped out of it. 

To both of your shock another...him? 

Beaten up and bruised but its him. He looked younger but his hair was in these little tuffs and he was wearing a god awful yellow suit. He was kind of cute. Is this what your Logan would have looked like when he was younger? You snap out of your thinking, this is another man. It's Logan but not Logan. 

"Fucking shit!" The other Logan yells as the yellow door closes behind him. 

"Wade you dumb motherfucker I'm going to rip your head off!" He roars. He turns around, wiping the blood from his face. His eyes go wide when he sees you. He calls your name and steps towards you. Your Logan growls, putting up his claws. 

"Back the fuck up bub." The other Logan looks between the two of you and just narrows his eyes. Both their shiny claws come out to threaten the other. 

"Logan?" You call softly. Both of the men turn to you. 

"Can we just talk?" They look at each other and slowly retract their claws. 

After getting both of them to calm down the other guy explains exactly how he got there. He's from another universe, another time. He was pulled from his world into this one by an asshole with a stupid face and red suit. His stupid friend was messing with a little time machine thingy he stole and now he's here. That was his summary of things. You...tried to grasp it. You live in a world with mutants so time travel and universe hopping wasn't exactly strange. But to see another Logan. He also keeps glancing at you. 

Every time he does James, you've decided to start calling your Logan by his childhood name to make it easier, James tightens his grip on your hand. The way this other Logan looks at you, they're such sad eyes. He must have had a you in the other universe. 

"You can stay with us for a while, until you can get back to your time." You offer sweetly. 

"Thank you sweetheart." Logan's hands twitch, like he wants to reach out for you but he doesn't. James reluctantly gets up, pointing to the spare room and keeping his eyes on Logan's every move. 

"Don't drink my liquor." James mumbles as he heads to your bedroom. 

"He's the anchor being, really?" Logan whispers but you catch him. 

"What was that?" Logan freezes and turns to you.

"Nothing sweets," He flashes a smile you know he's lying. This Logan has the same tell as your own. 

"Who am I? In your world?" You ask curiously. Logan's face drops and he seems to close up. 

"No one, just a friend." He stalks to his room and closes the door behind you. Sighing you wonder what you've got yourself into now.

Living with two wolverines was not easy. Especially for you. They didn't get along and you had to play peacemaker. It was exhausting. Logan was nice enough to you but closed off and James was pissed off and protective. You were worried they'd slit each other's throats.

Plus...it was hard living with two Logan's when they were both ridiculously attractive. You never wanted anyone else but James. But this was just confusing. He was James but he wasn't but he looked like him and fuck he was ripped. James had a body to envy but so did Logan.

You were ashamed to admit you thought about Logan, just a little bit. You never let it go far but your dreams ran wild. They were hot and dirty and you woke up feeling soaked and guilty. You didn't say a word to James or Logan. What good could come of that? But they're perceptive men and you could feel Logan's eyes on you in the mornings. James' too. You couldn't escape them forever.

You should have known something was up the moment you walked through the front door and saw both boys sitting together in the living room. Normally they'd stay far away from each other.

"Hi..." You say suspiciously as you set down the grocery bags. 

"Come here." James pats his lap and you walk over. He pulls you down onto his knee and smashes his lips onto yours. You can't help but moan as his hand squeezes your ass. 

"James!" You moan as you try to push him away. You look over at Logan who was watching with hungry eyes. Licking his lips as his eyes trail up and down your body. 

"We had a talk sweetheart," Logan's voice is deep and primal as he stands up and grabs your chin.

"We both know what you want. The old man over here can't fuck you the way you want to be fucked." James tightens his grip on your waist as Logan flirts up a storm. 

"I...James I-" You look at James with a guilty look on your face. 

"It's okay honey, I want you to feel good." He says while glaring at Logan. He isn't going to just hand you over, but he knows you crave to be destroyed, ruined and he can't do that for you anymore. So reluctantly, he's going to let his other self fuck you. 

"Rule one. You don't get to come inside." James situates you on his thigh. Slowly rocking you on it until you're squirming. 

"Rule two. She says stop, you stop." Logan eyes your cleavage with a hungry look. 

"And rule three. You don't get to kiss her." He says possessively. 

Logan rolls his eyes but agrees to the terms. The three of you head to the bedroom. James sits on a chair facing the bed. He groans as his bones creak. You shoot him a worried look but he waves you off. Unbuttoning his pants and letting his cock free. Logan pulls your focus as he leaves hickeys up your shoulder, sucking on a particular spot on your neck. 

"Shit.." You groan. How did he know that was your sweet spot? You don't have much time to think as you hear a claw come out. Logan waits and you nod your head. He cuts through your clothes and they fall to the floor in shreds.

"Fuck." Logan groans as his hands trail up your body. Your bare skin drives him nuts. He closes his eyes as he takes his time exploring. Committing your body to memory, each curve and dip. 

"Missed this." He whispers softly for only him to hear. 

"Lay down sweetheart." Logan hums and you obey. Crawling onto the bed as Logan sheds his yellow suit. Your eyes trail down his built chest to his already hard cock. 

"Damn." 

"As big as your boyfriends over there?" Logan says with a smirk. 

He kneels onto the bed and grabs your legs, putting them around his waist as he bends down and goes back to biting your neck. Your nails dig into his biceps as you buck your hips. His cock presses against your thigh as he moves down your body. Stopping at your breasts, squeezing and teasing one of your nipples while sucking on the other. You whine when he bites down. Licking over the spot he bit. 

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself." He smiles through his apology. He moves down your stomach and rests himself in between your legs. 

"Let's see how sweet you taste." You gasp as he buries himself into your cunt. His hands locking you in place, not letting you move against his pleasurable assault. 

"Logan!" You moan as you claw at his hair. Raking your hands through it until you find a grip. Pulling on it only eggs him on. His tongue moves against your clit over and over again. He refuses to let up as your moans get louder. You try to move but Logan growls like an animal. 

"Don't fucking move." He licks his lips as he raises his head. He looks over to James and smirks. 

"I see why you're so protective, wouldn't want to share a girl as sweet as this either." You look over to James who was slowly stroking his cock. It was painful watching another man feast on his cunt but he can see how much you're loving it. 

"Play with your tits." James commands as Logan goes back down. 

You listen and slowly play with your nipples. Squeezing your breasts and arching your back when Logan sticks his tongue into your cunt. Fuck he knows what he's doing.

"I can't- fuck! I-" Your back arches high as Logan sucks on your clit. 

He doesn't let up. One of his hands lets go of your thigh and his thumb presses on your clit. His tongue is now moving to your cunt. You roll your hips as Logan fucks you with his tongue and rubs your clit with his thumb.

It's a deadly combination that leaves you helpless. You come around his tongue hard. He groans as you leak around him. Licking up the sweet taste until he's satisfied. As you start to relax you feel Logan's tongue back on your clit. 

"Fuck!" You gasp in surprise as he places himself back on your cunt. 

"Too much! Can't take it!" You claw at the sheets but Logan pays no mind. 

"You can take it, always have you crying on my face." James says huskily. 

He wants a taste, mouth watering at the sinful sounds of your went pussy. Tears threaten to fall as Logan shoves two fingers into your cunt. He fucks you like he knows you, curling his fingers just how you like it. The sounds of your cunt get louder as he roughly fingers you. 

"One more come on, fuck give me one more." Logan props himself on his elbow as he pistons his fingers into you. 

"No No I can't." You cry. You don't want him to stop but it's so overwhelming. It's too much pleasure. 

"Yes you can." Logan cups your cheek and wipes away a stray tear. 

"I got you," Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you come again. Your cunt clenching around his fingers as soak his hand. Both of them watch in awe as you make a mess. 

"Knew you could take it." Logan takes his fingers out and sucks them clean. He eyes James who hasn't taken his eyes off your cunt. 

"Want a taste old man?" You look over with pleading eyes at your boyfriend. You need him too. He winces as he stands up but leans down and gets between your legs. 

"Shh baby, just want a taste." James squeezes your thighs softly.

Your cunt twitches as he leans down and takes a fat lick up. You're on edge from your previous orgasms and it's borderline painful. Both men look up at you when you gasp. 

"I'm okay, just please be gentle." Your lips form into a small pout and James melts. 

"Course baby," He takes a few soft licks and you sigh as Logan strokes his cock. 

He takes your hand and wraps it around his cock. Fuck he's big and hard and leaking over your hand. You can't help but notice it's different from your Logan too. But you keep that thought to yourself. James grunts as he gets back to his feet. His beard slick with your juices. He slips two fingers into your cunt and pumps them slowly. 

"Did so good, baby." He praises and you smile. You bite your lip and close your eyes as you take in James' thick fingers. They work you like magic, he knows you inside and out. 

"Are you gonna take my cock now sweetheart?" Logan purrs in your ear. 

"Tell me, what dirty fantasies do you have up there." Your breath catches in your throat as he cups your breasts in his hands. 

"Any positions you want to try? Face down ass up is always a favorite of mine, or I can put your legs on my shoulders and press you into the mattress." You moan just picturing each scenario in your head. 

"I can hold you against the wall. Bounce you on my cock so you're forced to take every inch of me.

"Even better, we can do all three." Logan lets go of you and nods his head, telling James to go sit down. James takes his fingers out and brings them to your lips, pushing them into your mouth as you suck on them like he trained you to do. 

"You okay?" James asks and you nod. 

"M'alright baby, are you okay?" You reach up and grab his hand, squeezing it gently. Is he still okay with this? If he's too uncomfortable you'd stop but he just smiles. He leans down and kisses your head, then moves to sit back down. 

"You've been talking a lot of shit bub." James says gruffly as Logan nudges his cock at your cunt. You're on your back with Logan pressing your hands into the mattress. 

"Don't worry old man, I'll take care of her." He slides in and you moan. He's going too slow, relishing with every inch.

"Faster!" You beg but Logan doesn't listen. Instead he pushes all the way in, balls deep and throbbing just being in your sweet cunt. 

"Oh fuck yeah." Logan purrs as he draws his hips back, slamming them back into you.

His pace is slow and hard. He watches your breasts bounce with each thrust, enjoying the way they move because of him. He's still got you pinned down and you want to move, you want to hold onto him as he fucks you but he won't let you. Logan's got stamina and it's clear as he doesn't let up. 

"Logan I-" He growls and pulls out much to your dismay. Manhandling you to your knees, grabbing your neck and forcing you to look right at James. You couldn't meet his eyes as Logan sinks back into you. 

"Ah ah, don't you want him to see how good you feel?" Logan says in a mocking tone. Smirking as he sees the fire lit in James' eyes.

"It's okay baby." James says as your head falls down to the comforter. Logan's just so big. He's overpowering all of your senses. He just keeps going and going. Logan tilts his head back as he digs his fingers into your hips. 

"Such a tight fucking cunt." He presses your face into the bed and grabs a handful of your ass. Pounding his hips into your pussy and loving every little noise he's fucking out of you. 

"She likes it when you choke her." James says, his breath ragged as he watches you get fucked. Logan chuckles and puts his hand around your neck.

"Of course she does, such a dirty little whore you got on your hands." His mouth is filthy, the degradation pouring from his mouth with ease.

James mixes his praise with his meanness but Logan is pure filth. The pressure on your throat sends you into fucking orbit. A fat cock pounding your sweet spot and rough hand on your throat is lethally delicious. You could die happy. 

"That's it, just let me use you sweetheart. Doesn't that sound fun? Being my little toy? Our little toy?" You look at James who's perked up at the mention of him, your cunt clenching around Logan's cock. 

"Oh that got you interested huh?" Logan teases. 

"You can be our plaything sweetheart, just nothing but a couple holes for us to use. Big man over here can stick his cock down your throat while I get the back." Logan rubs his hand along your ass, his thumb trailing down until its teasing your asshole. 

"He ever been in here before?" 

"O-Once." You mewl as he presses his thumb, not breeching you yet but knowing he could if he wanted to. 

"Is it as tight as her cunt?" He asks James. 

"Even tighter." James spreads his legs, he was getting hot. He sheds his jacket and unbuttons his white button up. Being this old and still ripped was so fucking unfair. His pants were already at his ankles and his cock was stirring just remembering that day.

How you cried and whined as he prepped you with his fingers. How fucking tight you felt when he slid his cock in. You were a mess, babbling and whining and begging to be ruined. James opens his eyes and sees you staring at him. Hunger in your eyes as you take in your handsome boyfriend. You may be getting fucked by another man but you only ever want James. 

“Maybe next time." Logan moves his hands back up your body.

He sits back on his knees. His hands come to your breasts and pull you up so your back is against his chest. His cock somehow sits deeper as he bounces his hips up and down, spearing his cock deeper and deeper. One of his arms wraps around your waist while the other plays with your breasts. 

"Logan!" You chant over and over. He's grunting in your ear whispering dirty things that only you can hear. 

"I know you're loving this sweetheart, you may love the old man but you love my cock more." You whine, words failing you as you try and talk. You start to go limp in Logan's grasp so he tightens his hold. 

"Come for me sweetheart, go on." He purrs as he lets go of your breasts to pleasure your clit. Rubbing small circles until you're squirming out of his grip, or trying to.

"It's okay, I got you." Logan whispers as you tilt your head back into his shoulder. 

Eyes rolling back as you fully submit to the man. Your legs shake uncontrollably as you come harder than you have in a while. He holds you up as you melt, your vision blurring as you're sent to cloud nine. You were clawing at his arms, digging your nails into him until he bleed which only made things better for Logan as he humps you like a crazed animal. Grunting and groaning. 

"Fuck!" He lets go of you to pull out, whimpering at the loss of your wet cunt.

He's rough with his hand as he jerks himself until he comes all over your back. Hot cum spurting from his cock and drenching itself on your skin. Your eyelids are heavy as you collapse into the bed, your body aches with a delicious sort of pain. With all the energy you could muster you glance over at James. He had cum staining his chest, breath ragged. He was worn out just from watching. 

"I love you." You say softly, reaching out for him. Your hand doesn't make it very far so he meets you halfway. His pants pulled up and cum still on his stomach. 

"Feel good baby?" He pets your head and you nod sleepily. Logan has gone off to take care of himself. Redressing into that god awful suit and coming back with a towel. 

"Can I?" He looks over at James who nods. Gently he wipes his cum off your back, cooing when he accidently stimulates your clit again. 

"Sorry sweetheart, just gotta get you nice and clean." Logan looks at James before leaning down and kissing your forehead.

James doesn't argue. Once you're cleaned up James tucks you into bed. He sits on the edge as you curl into his lap. Logan comes back with water and a towel for James. You're sound asleep by the time he's back. Logan smiles at you with a fondness that James can only recognize as love. 

"You know her." Logan looks up and shrugs. "Heard her say she was just a friend. You were lying." James continues. He knows Logan was lying because they're one in the same. They may not like each other but they knew each other better than anyone ever could, even you. 

"Look. You may think your life is fucking miserable but you had your family, you have her. You don't know how lucky you have it." Logan growls. 

"Lucky? You think becoming a shell of who we were is lucky?" James feels the anger surging inside of him. 

"At least she's alive in your world." Logan hisses. The truth comes out. Why Logan worked you like he already knew you, why he looked at you with such sad eyes. Why he listened to you. James caught all of it from the start but you never did. He looks down at you and you barely stir. 

"What happens to us, in the future?" James asks while staring at you. Timelines don't need two of the same man and he knows that. He just needs to hear it. "I don't think I'm supposed to say." Logan mumbles. 

"Who fucking cares?" Sighing Logan looks over at you before revealing the truth. 

"You die and your world starts to fall apart, that's why I got pulled into it."

James knew that death was coming. He could feel it. He had been slowly dying his whole life. That's not what bothers him. There's only one thing holding him back in being ready for the end. You. He can't leave you alone but it sounds like he does anyway. Failing you once again. 

"What about her? Is she okay?" 

"Yes.” James nods, he doesn’t ask what happens. He doesn’t want to know. As long as you’re okay then that’s all that matters. 

“Take care of her. Please.” James asks, for once letting Logan see his gruff façade break. 

It feels like an odd request. Both of them know it, but he wants you to be safe and protected and no one will love you more than him. In any timeline, any universe, he loves you. 

“I will.” Logan promises.

The two of them don’t share many words after that. It’s not like they’re suddenly friends now but they’re less hostile towards each other.

Eventually the strange yellow portal appears once again and Logan leaves. The time he spent here feels like a fever dream. Maybe it was? But you notice that James holds you a little tighter for a little longer now. He also rests a little easier. He knows where he’s headed, what’s to come.

But its a little easier knowing that no matter what, you’ll always have him. 

[lesbiandonnanoble]

ranking torchwood members by how nightmarish the blunt rotation would be. number 6 ultimate least worst is gwen but only because i love drama so much and don’t mind comforting people if they cry. any smoke sesh w gwen you’d walk away knowing the funniest most insane interpersonal drama on the planet. three hits in her eyes would already be getting red and she would lean over and say “SWEAR to me you won’t repeat this to anyone, but” gwen babygirl i am all ears. i would roll for you and just sit and watch you smoke it. at #5 honorary mention for suzie. she would find the perfect music for the vibe. she would roll an immaculate joint. the conversation would be heartfelt, pleasant. real.. by the time i realize i’m slowly dying and she’s gaining strength i wouldn’t even care tbh. ideal joint-sharing experience. #4 would be owen because i know that as long as i laughed at his jokes he would smoke me up indefinitely. his delusion that he’s cool and badass would get more embarrassing and apparent when high like mac it’s always sunny levels . and you might have to suffer some hero complex stories but i just know his very cool-looking bong has crystal clear water the second he knows anyone’s coming over. #3 is easily ianto. high chances of bringing a really uncomfortable weird energy to any smoke sesh. i once met a guy who said he’d been practicing rolling joints since he was a kid with paper and pencil shavings and then rolled the joint that fucked me the hardest i’ve ever experienced and that’s what smoking ianto’s shit would be like. except he’s just sitting there looking at you with wet dog eyes the whole time. his vibe would be still weirdly too professional, like the business major who tries to network at house parties. toshiko my lady.. second worst person to smoke with in torchwood not for any awful reason. her jokes would be the funniest out of all of them. her laugh would be enchanting. but you can tell she’s so nervous and trying too hard and the vibe gets more and more awkward and you desperately want to tell her it’s fine but you worry calling attention to it might make her feel worse and you stare at her and she stares at you, takes a beautiful bong rip, and says something so self deprecating you have to look away. the #1 most nightmarish person to share a joint with in torchwood is obviously jack. he pulls out a bag of purple shit, a strain he informs you is called ‘megacock OG’, and loads it into his 23rd century fucking instant vaporizer and promises it’s “got a hell of a kick” and you blink and it’s 20 minutes later and you’re flinching nearly shitting yourself every time his stupid fucking dinosaur swoops overhead ,sweating buckets, and he’s grinning slapping the table laughing opposite you while his genuinely cringeworthy sex stories, seemingly endless, ring in your ears like churchbells.

[katakaluptastrophy]

Thinking about how Harrow was brought up knowing what she cost. That her price was the death of her House. How she had to be a perfect necromancer to prove to her parents that cost was worth it.

And thinking about who she asks for help when she is at her most desperate.

Harrow, who has never belonged to herself.

He reached out for your hands. You could not refuse him, and in any case had no choice of doing so; your body reacted long before your mind did, and the meat of your meat and the flesh of your flesh belonged to God.

Harrow, who only ever experienced love as a response to her worthiness.

Her most vivid memory of her mother was of her hands guiding Harrow’s over an inexpertly rendered portion of skull, her fingers encircling the fat baby bracelets of Harrow’s wrists, tightening this cuff to indicate correct technique.

And how that colours her entire perception of kindness. Of what those who try to love her want.

“I would like to give you something,” said Abigail Pent. This was to Harrowhark. She watched as the capable hands—strong, for a necromancer’s, beautifully formed and with very even nails—took a bit of folded paper from the table. She passed it to her Ninth colleague as though it did not hurt her to give away such precious material.

How John imagines Harrow as his daughter, but can only love her selfishly; her creation a mirror of his own sins.

You’d make a hell of a daughter, Harrowhark. I sometimes indulge in the wish that you’d been mine.

How Abigail, in loco parentis, having exorcised the children that weren't quite her's either so that she could help to keep Harrow safe, wants to comfort her but can't.

Abigail Pent took off her glasses and popped them down into the top fold of her robe. She reached out to touch Harrow’s arm, and Harrow flinched away; she winced a little in sympathetic apology, and removed her hand.

How Harrow is haunted throughout HTN not just by the actual ghost trying to destroy her, but by the memory of her parents, their touch, and by those who for better or for worse want to parent her. Abigail, who loved the children whose planet she was annexing - a fate Harrow viscerally feared. And John, who will show his love for his unexpected daughter by making her an undead construct. However well meaning, Harrow cannot conceive of parental love without possession, without an agenda.

The Emperor set down his tea and finished off his biscuit, and did that terrible thing that he did, on occasion: he reached over to touch your shoulder in that brief, tentative way, the lightest and swiftest of gestures, as though afraid that he might burn you. Your mother had guided your hands over bloating corpses. Your father had held down the corners of great tomes, and his sleeve had brushed your six-year-old-fingers as he showed you how best to turn their pages. Both of them had pressed a rough rope made of coated fibre into your hands—you recalled the pressure from their palms, their attempts to be gentle. When the Emperor touched you, your body recalled, unbidden, each rare and terrible touch committed by your mother and father.

How the one touch Harrow doesn't flinch away from is Ortus, who acknowledges his failure to protect Harrow and wants to make amends.

It was difficult to know what to do with this type of touch. It made her whole soul flinch, but at the same time opened some primeval infant mechanism within her, as though the embrace were a mirror: having someone hold up an image by which you could see yourself, rather than living with an assumption of your face. It was not like the touch of her father or mother. When she had first sat by the tomb in shivering awe, she had fancied that the Body’s ice-ridden fingers had shifted for hers, minutely. Gideon had touched her in truth; Gideon had floundered toward her in the saltwater with that set, unsheathed expression she wore before a fight, her mouth colourless from the cold. Harrow had welcomed her end, but suffered a different death blow altogether—and she had become, for the second time, herself. She untangled from Ortus, more reluctantly than she’d expected.

And now Abigail Pent and Ortus are (probably) dead. Gideon is John's daughter. The Body is Alecto, awake and on the move, meat loving meat.

Desperately hoping that in ATN Harrow and Gideon have an embrace without agenda where they are both simply themselves.

[awritesthings1]

Here, there, and everywhere

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker/Reader

Summary: Takes place yearsssss after "How to Disappear" Epilogue.

-

“Take my hand, Ani.”

So he does, just like he has been doing over the past few decades.

“Am I dead?”

Your smile catches like little hooks in his skin, guiding him gently through the great, big puddle, which stretches infinitely on all sides. His feet aren’t wet, and there are no ripples or tension in the water. There is only stillness, silence, and you.

“Jedi don’t die, Ani. They move on to greater things.”

He likes that, he thinks. He isn’t too sure where he is, or even who he is, but he’s okay with that. The great, big silence, he realizes, is his own, so he steps back, expecting to hear the sloshing of water. He is caught between fear and wonder when the water remains still and quiet, seemingly unaffected by his presence, like he was never there.

You shush him and step forward to cup his cheeks. He protests for only a moment when he swears that he sees a Jedi with shaggy golden hair looking up at him with the same unsettled frown.

“Anakin, come back to me.”

He blinks because it is easy. He blinks because it’s easier to see nothing than to see a hundred mirrors looking at each other. He inhales sharply because it’s the human thing to do, and he gasps and lunges forward to clutch your shoulders when he can’t feel any air entering his lungs.

He expects you to shove him away, but you only pull him closer and bring his forehead to yours so he can steal the breath between your lips.

“Come back to me,” you whisper more insistently, brushing your thumbs over the vein on his neck, where he hopes his pulse is throbbing.

He hums and meets your eyes. It slows down the space around him, and he begins to see beyond the water, beyond the five senses, into a place where he is everywhere all at once. He is the seas, the mountains, the valleys, the people, the rain, and the sun all at once. And you are there too—the tree to his fruit, the grief to his mourning.

You paint in the colors around him. The first notable one is blue. You are blue, and he is blue. You are glowing like the falling rocks from space that light up the night sky, and he is the darkness watching your light with curiosity. And just when he thinks you are passing by, that smile of yours hooks itself deeper into his skin, and you are falling through the night air together.

He feels full and satiated when you share your blue glow with him. Together, you are the blue ghosts of the Force, wandering the land but not lost.

It is here, there, and everywhere that love follows.

You—the ever-experienced force ghost—teach him the Force all over again as if he were a youngling. He makes some awful joke about haunting some Jedi that got on his nerves, and you rightly tug on his ghostly blue Jedi cloak.

Oh.

That’s another thing.

He wears his Jedi uniform as a Force ghost, even if he wasn’t exactly loyal to the cause his whole life. It takes some getting used to; his cloak, for the most part, was permanently folded away on the top shelf in their Nabooian cottage. The uniform did nothing for the perilous summers on the coastal planet anyway. Now it hangs on his shoulders like it's never left.

It takes some time to come to terms with being a Force ghost, and he now holds more respect for you now that you’ve done it twice. He’s older now; you both are. You grew old together and lived. A part of him hurts when he sees his reflection in the still lake, vacant of all his hard-earned wrinkles and scars, all of which he proudly wore like badges to say, yes, I lived. Even in death, he is still a little stubborn. He’s still Anakin Skywalker. It’s just dissociating to see his past self when he was so unhappy and in a dark place. He doesn’t relate to that boy anymore. He’s grown, changed, and he wants to see that reflected in the water.

And when he’s ready to stand up and shift away into the wind, you’re there, hand on his shoulder, wearing that soft, understanding gaze, saying, I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you. Those three words banish the darkness and welcome him into a warm embrace of love. Forgiveness is never too late.

You take to your new life with the grace he remembers. It scares him at first, seeing you as the blue ghost that haunted him all that time ago. He tries to sink away when those feelings surface, but he knows you see right through him. It’s confronting prying open things he’d rather keep closed. There’s no privacy in his life. There’s no his life, only life. He belongs to the Force, and so do you, but you also live independent of the Force, and are just beings existing. It’s all very confusing.

But there’s one thing that still remains.

“Do you think Yoda is a Force ghost?” Anakin asks.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. He mentors orphans and teaches them the way of the Force,” you whisper, too focused on your meditation to say much more.

Anakin scoffs. “I’m that replaceable, am I?”

You sigh, open your eyes, and turn to him.

“Careful, Skywalker. Sounds like you’re getting jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!”

“Hmm.”

“I’m not!”

…

“Do you think Obi-Wan’s still around?”

You smile.

“He still dreams about you.”

Anakin perks up.

“He does? How do you know?”

A part of him already suspects the answer.

You intertwine your hands.

“He never stopped looking for you, Ani.”

A poison named guilt sours his tongue.

“I… I should go find him then. Tell him I’m fine.”

You shake your head. You’re not upset; you look more at peace.

“He knows, Ani. He knows.”

Anakin can’t quite understand how, he’s still new to this Force ghost thing.

“…And he’s happy?”

You nod with a smile and squeeze his hand.

Only one more thing troubles Anakin.

“Do you think I’ll ever see him again?”

“He’ll come find you when he’s ready.”

You pull him into your arms, and he buries his nose in the crook of your shoulder like old times. Your laughter lifts his spirits.

“You have much to learn, young Padawan.”

There’s no place to start like the end.

[hazbinficsandstuff-eyeshadow]

Prologue:

Two planets both alike in dignity. The one seemed like a hellscape from the outside and to be fair the closer you got it didn't get much better in terms of looks however the people there liked it like that. The other planet, “insert name* thought that due to its look the people that inhabited it were filthy and awful people especially compared to them. Their planet appeared spotless with buildings of diamonds and modernity. They both thought ill of each other. Charlie Mornigstar ruler of the first planet, Junio didn't really consider herself a ruler and more as a protector. Charlie loved her people with all her heart but she was alone. On the planet Heras it was ruled by two instead of one, Lute and Adam. They had worked their way to the top, well, mostly Lute did. Adam did make most of the decisions although Lute was the only female opinion he gave the slightest concern towards. While the place looked modern the way that females were treated were the exact opposite of modern. These two weren't the only planets that interacted with eachother however for enemies they seemed to engage with each other the most, weird isn't it.

Chapter : A change

In Junion lied Charlie, alone. Om her skin she flet nothing but the blankets heavy fabric weighing over her. It had been so long sense she experienced connection. She then heard a loud crash outside, A turf-War. People here were usually really kinf but as anywhere all fights and arguments were impossible to avoid fully. Charlie sluggishly rolled out of bed and dragged herself to the front door. When she got there she was surprised To find no conflict. Three people stand there, two shaking hands with smoke blowing uo behind them. Another a tall man dressed in red who wore a bright smile. His skin tone and the way he illuminated made him appear to be from the Lunar colony. Charlie is mesmerized by his glowing appearance. They both walk Up to eachother

“ Did you jsut settle that yourself?” Charlie asks they mysterious Moon man.

He answers back “ why, yes, I did, does that impress you?” He said with a smug grin.

“ actually, yes, how'd you do it?”

“People are simple, they like to think their complex but you understand even the basics of psychology and even thr most ‘complex’ of situations can be solved, sometimes all it takes is a handshake” he replies as he reaches out for Charlie's hand holding it in Front of her. Charlie Slowly reaches out for his hand not because she's scared but rather Because it's been so long since she experienced touch especially after her fatehrs death. As Charlie continued moving her hand closer Alastor got impatient and quickly grabbed it shaking It vigorously. “ pleased to be meeting you princess Charlie, the names Alastor”. Charlie held up her hand as she felt the new sensations of touch run through her fingers.

“Alastor, how would you like to stay here”. Alastor was estatic he had gotten exactly What he wanted. He wants Power control and to be on top. Befriending the princess of hell was probably the easiest way to do that. As soon as he could get close enough to the princess he could take her out and he'd finally Be free. if he could just get his hands on her he could finally unleash the chains. If he failed he would die. This is the one shot at freedom he has and is determined to nit mess it up. He hummed as he stored his Chin and acted as if he was pondering. He likes to keep people on their toes even though he's someone Who's always extremely sure of himself.” Well I suppose I could stay and help you with a few things”. “Oh thank you alastor you won't regret this”. Charlie cried out as she wrapped her arms around his waist hugging him aggressively Alastors body and arms went stiff at the gesture.He wasn't used to pyschial touch most people thought that due to his demeanor he hated it but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Its been awhile since he's experienced any kind of compassion or affection at least to this degree. He used to have heartfelt interactions with his dear friend Rosie that he enjoyed but she'd been busy managing one of The Lunar colonies And they didn't get to see eachother that much. He would have reciprocated and held her back, at least do he could get her to trust him enough for his plan, but the sudden Suprie of human emotion Just left him there, motionless. “Umm, Well is there anything you need you need help with at the moment?” Alastor asked. Usually he'd never stutter or use Filler words like “umm” or “like. It ruined his perfect on top of the world persona that he wanted and did Display. He punished himself in hus head for such trivial Imperfections. Although to him any Imperfection might as well be the end, same reason he stitched his mouth into a smile. The stitches Were even sewn perfectly The only reason he was aware of them was because he was there when he gave stitched it. A chivel At that perfect image would make him crumble. “If you want to do anything I have a list on the fridge I'll give you first pick sense you're helping me, Oh wait you Just got here, don't you wanna go to Your room and get settled first?”

“Oh, you meant like stay here?”

“Yes, if you want I assume you're from one Of the Lunar colonies so I wouldn't want you to have to travel to far Everyday. I can show you to your room If you want?”

“Why I do suppose it would be umm difficult To travel So far everyday to help you”. Charlie then walked alastor Up to his room and left him to get used to the new setting. Alastor layed down and snapped his bags into The room. He could have just telephoned Everyday but his power was getting weaker and the princess doesn't have To know it. If he stayed here he cab Aldo get closer To the princess then Just helping her out everyday. While he feels remorseful for having to do such a thing to such a kind he soul he knows it has to be done. He's alone and can finally gather himself and pick himself back up to perfection. As he lied down sinking into the mattress, the pain Started lessening, not completely gone by any means but his pain was now bearable instead of the excruciating Experience he usually had. No one, not even God heard his screams of pain. Anyone else living through This would have () and so did alastor but with his dear he couldn't even get rid of the Pain he was in, he was trapped but this was usual and he did feel the comfort draped over him and fell Asleep comfortably. Charlie walked in the living room heading to bed she was so Exhausted she felt like she was about to collapse. All she did was lay in bed all day and she was still exhausted. Her brain tended to keep her up late. Charlie felt as if she couldn't walk anymore and then plopped onto the couch stretching her limbs out and almost immediately falling asleep. Keekee curled up on Charlie's Back ad she snored not even out of her formal attire.

[tagthetrekkie]

Ok, this is inspired by Falling Feels Like Flying by @penguinwithitsarseonfire

Again, I blame @deepspacedukat

Pairing: Letant x reader

Warning: none, just sadness

Synopsis: Chasing someone who is a flight risk can be dangerous. Like Icarus, Letant learned not to fly to high when his wings couldn’t keep up

The Fall

You were a lieutenant, a member of Deep Space Nine's crew. A flight risk, some of your colleagues would call you.

As soon as he saw you for the first time, his first instinct was to ask who she was. There was something about this lieutenant that drew him to you more than any other before you. The Ferengi bartender raised an eyebrow and cautioned him.

“You're going to need a lot of luck with that one. She’s a flight risk.” He warned.

A scowl escaped Letant's lips. He considered it impossible for a Starfleet Officer, particularly a human one, to be so irresponsible.

The Ferengi smirked as if challenging the Senator to see for himself. If he declined such a challenge, what kind of Romulan would he be?

He pursued you relentlessly since then, determined to make sure you understood the impact you had on his life. Letant hoped that his passionate words would enter her heart, each filled with metaphor and emotion.

Although their relationship blossomed into something stronger, there was no escaping the fact that you could just take flight any moment.

“She’ll never settle down, you know? This girl is a flight risk, after all” Odo grunt when he noticed the Senator staring at you

Letant just waved off his concern; he knew you too well.

In the meantime, he and those around him realized that you were ready to take flight alongside the Romulan. An indecent desire to flee shatters the hearts of a full-grown adult. There wasn't much surprise among the crew. Of course you’d like to take off, so you joined Starfleet.

Letant, of course, was on Cloud Nine. His Romulan pride reverberated wherever he went. Regardless of everything, you choose to be with him. In Romulus, you seemed closer and closer to making the planet your home, and Letant would look at you like no one could take this away from him. You just smiled at him.

—

You could feel Vreenak’s eyes on you. He and Letant were having a chat across the room, but it wasn't like you were paying attention to them.

“She is a flight risk’’ his friend’s voice was severe.

Letant paid no heed to his words. His friend should know that you wouldn’t fly away from him. Not when you two just started your lives.

Unwittingly, Letant spent every waking moment trying to keep his human close; ensuring you stayed deep-rooted by his side, no matter what occurred. However, as time went on, his attempts only served to increase your burgeoning wanderlust, pushing her farther away than ever before. Every attempt to control or tame this flight risk only strengthened your resolve to seek out more adventure.

The senator begged you not to leave until you'd at least given love a chance. Witnesses watched in awe as a proud Romulan thoroughly mixed intellectual tenderness with heartfelt passion. Despite his efforts, though, it seemed as if fate wanted them apart as every time you took flight again, chasing that pappy pipe dream of yours.

He would have resigned himself to merely being infatuated by this volatile woman if he hadn't encountered you yet again after months of searching. Overcome by joy, he rushed towards you like a hurricane and swept you off your feet. The euphoria Letant felt then was like nothing else he'd experienced before. You two spent what little time you had together dancing under the stars and talking late into the night. Somehow, even these brief moments managed to bring out the best in both of you, proving just how powerful your connection was. Inevitably, you left once again, but this time, you promised to come back for him when you were ready.

As the days went by without your return, his faith began to falter. However, despite all odds, you eventually came back. He realized why he couldn't write down his feelings for you - because this kind of love only existed at the moment, freed from language or rules. That spark between you burned brighter than any words ever could and it's still alive, long after you've said goodbye again.

Letant had never felt such intense emotions before in his life. It was a mixture of anxiety and bliss, with the certainty that it would soon be gone all too quickly. He couldn't explain why, but he was deeply in love with someone who could easily fly away from him at any moment; someone who felt like a bird in a cage whenever she stayed too long somewhere.

He kept insisting that if you just stopped long enough, you'd realize how much you shared and stay put for good. But even though there were moments when your connection seemed factual, something within you remained untouchable, enigmatic, and constantly tugging you away like an invisible force. Yet despite this looming inevitability, the Senator clung on desperately to whatever scraps of joy you could share. In those brief moments of clarity, he wished fervently that perhaps one day you might anchor yourself again without hesitation and choose to remain forever. Until there, there'll be the oath. To protect his heart, or what was left of it. To be a proper Romulan senator like he never was or could be. And he’ll do fine, he always does, before he finds you again. And there he’ll go again, breaking his oath. Whereas Letant is left wondering what could have been and dreaming of the day when you might come back into his life, the Romulan was curled up in a grip when he was you.

[beperoncin]

heres the ask again-

for the "send characters" thing;; peponcino :3

OK NOW WE'RE ALL SET THANKS

1 - favorite thing about him

uhmmm. everything /hj

but seriously he's fucking awesome how he treats habanero. i have never seen him be mean to him . ever

literally best fictional father

2 - least favorite thing about him

how he treated cauliflower in the first part of the story. could have been better imo he was just really disrespectful and uncool (ik he changed and he's nicer to her but im still kinda mad he did that)

favorite line -

I HAVE TOO MANY.

but the one i cam recall is "you're... a good one..." (his message in the coty)

IT'S SO ADORABLE??!!! HE'S SO.

brotp -

since he knows cauliflower enough he could probably be introduced to olive (caulive shippers wya) by her and they'd probably just chill around each other

otp -

OK SO. HIM AND DARK CHOCO. I FIRST THOUGHT OF THIS SHIP AS "THEY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON BUT NOBODY SHIPS THEM SO I'D PROBABLY GET CANCELLED IF I SAID I DID." but then i come here AND I IMMEDIATELY GET FED THE BEST PEPCHOCO CONTENT ON THE PLANET. ALTHOUGH I HAVEN'T HAD ANY IN LIKE 3 MONTHS I'M STILL SO HAPPY.

notp -

him and fire spirit. eugh i hc fire spirit as his father. that's not cool

random headcanon -

he lost the arm he has that cool gauntlet on so it kinda doubles as a prosthetic :3c

unpopular opinion -

he gets treated so awful by the fandom. LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN THIS YEAR'S RESULTS? A COOKIE BASED OFF OF ORIENTALIST STEREOTYPES SCORES HIGHER THAN HIM. SAME GOES WITH HABANERO. AND WHAT'S WORSE IS PEPERONCINO SCORED SECOND TO LAST PLACE IN HIS ROUND. I THOUGHT HE'D SCORE HIGHER BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES "DILFS." AND PEPERONCINO FITS EXACTLY IN THAT CATEGORY. I CAN GO ON AN HOUR RANT ABOUT THIS. AND IF HE WAS LOVED BECAUSE OF THAT HE'D PROBABLY ONLY BE SEEN BECAUSE OF THAT AND NOT THE ACTUAL GOOD THINGS ABOUT HIM. AND THE MORE POPULAR HE IS THE MORE PEOPLE HATE HIM AND THAT MAKES ME EVEN ANGRIER. IM SORRY IM JUST SO ANGRY ABOUT THAT

song i associate with him -

i have many. i genuinely don't know but i have a couple i feel like saying but i just.. dont wanna say it. because they don't fit him enough and they're mainly from different fandoms

favorite picture of him -

THE 7TH ANNIVERSARY PHOTO OF HIM LOOKIE AT HIM

BRO IS EXPERIENCING WHIMSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S SO HAPPY HE'S ADORABLE. I WANNA HUG HIM.

[candy-pants]

Oh no I’m so sorry!! I hesitated to say anything cuz I wasn’t sure if you were just taking your time lol. Sorry we’re down to the last day but let’s pack in a lot of questions in that case!! First off, Ashley is kinda slaying in that vid ngl. And I love learning more about latam Disney channel, thanks for sharing!! What show were they on?? And you have a point about Sabrina lol. Switching gears, ofc ik you love descendants and mal and Ben in particular, who are your favs outside of the core four and why? What are your fav ships besides bal and why? And what are your biggest hopes for rise of red? I hope you have a great holiday and enjoy your gift tomorrow!! Sorry again for the miscommunication!! -gcwca secret Santa

don't worry! i was thinking you were busy or something so i didn't say anything either sdjhdhdsj i know tumblr tends to be the worst functioning website on the planet but we're all still here so i guess that says something about us

okay this is gonna be a long one buckle up

1 - they were in a show called que talento! (yes with an exclamation point) and they were basically playing themselves if they went to high school and were still amateurs lol i really liked the theme song but only the show version bc the studio version sounds awful sorry bruno i know you produced it but it sucks

2 - out of the core four (and ben) i have to say uma is a huge fav for me, probably my 3rd favorite character of the franchise. when i heard china anne mcclain was back on disney channel to play her i was sooooo excited and i can't imagine anyone better for the role. i love that she has such a strong sense of justice and community even if her ways aren't necessarily the best. obviously i love that the franchise makes sure to let us know she and mal are two sides of the same coin and if they weren't both so proud and stubborn they'd be friends, but i like that uma isn't just a carbon copy of mal like they're very much two different characters. uma is driven by collectiveness and she cares so hard about everybody it's almost aggressive and she's such a great example of leadership on the isle (as acknowledged by both ben in d2 and mal in d3 (and as a side note i'm obsessed with mal, ben and uma's dynamic and i could ramble on about it for the next 10 years but that's not the point)) and if i don't stop now this is gonna turn into a mal vs uma analysis

3 - i really really love the idea that mal and uma are exes. like to me that's just canon and no one is gonna tell me otherwise bc it doesn't contradict anything! "and how would you know, mal? you've never had [a boyfriend]" so in my head she could have dated uma idc it was probably quick and messy bc they would have this toxic power struggle which ultimately ends in mal not letting her join the gang. i think they would absolutely kill each other as a couple now bc of how similar they are but as exes? hell yeah that's a vibe

as for present day relationships i'm a fan of harry and uma getting together at some point in the future bc lbr those two are in a weird situationship lmao i also love jay and gil!!! very unexpected but jay realizing how jaded he's become after seeing the beauty of gil experiencing things with such wonder and then deciding to do a gap year so they can travel the world together is something that can actually be so personal

ALSO i'm not usually one for crackships but harry x evie had me like 👀 in d3 bc sorry wtf is this

for the record i don't think they should realistically get together, i don't think they'd work out, but the chemistry is there and for some reason kenny chose to highlight it so idk

4 - oooo so rise of red. here's the thing. i'm fully expecting this movie to be bad sdjdshjdjhsjdh i'm mostly worried about these seemingly amateur writers they got. like. even if descendants is its own little fanfiction thing let's at least try to make things coherent inside its own universe. the fact that they all went to school together defeats the purpose of beast UNITING THE KINGDOMS but well anyway let's see what they're gonna do

i like jennifer phang as a director though! she did two eps of cloak and dagger (one of which is 2x01, one of my personal favs) and the pilot of secrets of sulphur springs, so i know she's competent. and mark hofeling is coming back which is GREAT bc changing the production designer would be a terrible move for a spin-off partly set in present day. i just wish kara saun would come back to do the costumes but oh well

i'm so excited to see your gift!!!!! i hope you have a great holiday as well!!!!!!

[mrsbsmooth]

Red, White & Royal blue: live blind reaction.

I have never read the book, I have no idea of the plot, I have a two line summary.

Let’s go.

There is so much exposition in this it’s not even funny

PRESIDENT UMA THURMAN!

Is the book written like this what the fuck this is kind of bad

Where was Prince Henry’s actor when they were casting the crown fr he’s a dead ringer for baby wills

Don’t get me wrong. The two main characters are fucking hot as shit, but the actual story and the dialogue is so predictable

Alex has the eyelashes of a god

The budget for this is… not high. The president’s son can only afford to have like 50 people at his party? And it’s in a marquee tent with fairy lights instead of at a venue? The fuck? Lol

And they’re skipping all the relationship development.

Okay wait Get Low just came on

Henry watches TV, but he’s never heard popular music?

Oh this everyone getting low except then thing is kinda cute but a little cringe but actually a lot cringe. I refuse to believe that someone who drags their mate to the DF for get low isn’t getting aforementionedly low.

Aw Henry leaves when Alex kissed a girl, methinks he’s got a little crush

OH

OH I SEE

oooooooooooooooooooo

Aw cute Henry likes him. Wish we’d had a little more foreshadowing of that though cause it seems like they were just friends. Could’ve done with a bit more from Henry’s POV

God this snow is so fake though I’ve never even seen snow but that was so obviously a closed set

Pairing up the only two black characters I see hmmm

The actress who plays Nora is absolutely adorable

Both women leaders I love it

Omg did he not come to the party naur his poor little empty place card

Did his place card say “Prince Henry” I’m fucking sorry but a black tie event he would be “HRH” AT LEAST, and they would be using Alex’s full first name (assuming it’s Alexander) or just Mr. Full first name and Surname who wrote this you know nothing of etiquette 🤣

Miguel hot. Please don’t sleep with him though please Henry will be sad.

Alex you didn’t tell him off the record you eejit

REDRUM

OKAY HER WALKING IN ON THEM WHHXHCHHAHAHAHA IM DYING OMG THAT WAS SO GOOD

Are you still…. “Like Stonehenge”

“Your Royal hardness”

Omfg I’m dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣 that’s so cute

He did NOT just pat Henry’s ass in public babe you’re gonna get him in trouble

OH OKAY THIS JUST GOT GOOD LETS HAVE A BJ SCENE

oh wait no it didn’t. They really just faded to black on me 😒

“Keep it Casual” rude and not okay

And also wtf did Henry get off too or did he just blow Alex and leave. What happened to “I’m gonna do terrible things to you” like no sir it sounds like you just got a blowjob and then didn’t reciprocate. Lover of the year 10/10 (sArCaSm)

THOSE GREY PANTS HIDE NOTHING ALEX GODDAMN

Why are there bagpipes playing at a polo match?

I’m sorry but for people trying to keep things quiet they sure talk about their sexual escapades in public a lot

A mouthful muahahahha called it with the grey pants alex is hung like a horse

Oof Alex got swerved for the hand hold that’s a big ouch

Aww the bit where he’s not sure who’s topping and who’s bottoming it’s such a mood and it’s cute.

Okay stop. Wait. I’ve paused this. Anyone who says they went to boarding school as a justification for being gay or experienced is lying. I went to an all girls boarding school, and my husband went to an all boys. All boys schools are some of the most disgustingly homophobic places on the fucking planet. If he’s saying that all the boys are fucking each other he’s dead wrong. If anything he’d be so shamed for being even remotely gay that he’d be traumatised. Fuck boarding school. Okay back to the movie.

Ooooh damn alex has a great body

Oh wow this is actually really fucking cute

I can’t believe how wrong I was about you FUCK OFF THIS IS SO CUTE

Aaaaaahhhh!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! THIS SEX SCENE IS SO ROMANTIC AND CUTE!

I can’t help but laugh with the hand closeups though it’s so titanic and cringe

But the facial closeups are *beautiful*

These guys are phenomenal actors I’m so glad they didn’t fade to black for that scene. But the directing is… interesting.

Pausing to find out if the actors are gay

Unconfirmed for both. I ship them together they look beautiful as a couple.

“I’m learning” oh fuck off that’s beautiful

Oof the plane home is a mood alex is so in love.

His mum is right though. She can’t do shit unless she gets re-elected

Wait was he formerly allowed to speak to the press lol since when??? As if he’s authorised.

“Yes madam president” oh shut up you angsty teenager 🤣 this is so “you just don’t GET me mom and daddddd”

Awww he’s so cute with his Texas thing though

THE EMAILS BACK AND FORTH

WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT IN PUBLIC

Wouldn’t it have been more romantic for him to be waiting in Alex’s apartment because then he actually would’ve been able to greet him properly instead of just grabbing his shoulder like “what are you doing here”

Miguel KNOWS and this is bad bad bad. Why the evil Hispanic man though?

AHAHHAHAHHA ZAHRA STORMING IN WHERE IS SHE omfg she is by far my favourite character in this whole movie

“Who knows about this?” “Literally no one but you. And the secret service. And Percy. And Nora. Oh and I told my sister. Oh I didn’t know that? Yeah she’s really happy for us.” BSHCHJCJSHAHHAAHHAHA

That was my favourite line so far hands down

Technically I’m the spare CHCISOOAK PRINCE HARRY CODED 🤣🤣🤣🤣

As for you little lord fuckleroy I will brexit your head from your body OKAY ZAHRA HAS THE WORLDS BEST DIALOGUE NEW FAVOURITE LINE

THE BOW - your royal highness omfg I’m dead Zahra deserves an award and an Oscar the actress is so good

Aw the talk with mum awww this whole thing is cute. Bestie Uma is an ally. Her telling him about bottoming is so iconic omfg

Aw look at Henry in a flannel shirt 😂

The karaoke omfg and he sucks 😂

Alex is so in love holy shit

Aw and Alex’s dad loves him

THE SHUFFLE CLOSER ON THE DOCK

WHAT A CALLBACK

oh

Oh no

Oh I don’t like this

I don’t like the look on Henry’s face rn

Oh wow alex just got swerved.

I— *splash*

That’s how I’m leaving every uncomfortable conversation from now on. Just roll away and splash into the water.

HES LEAVING COMPLETELY?!!!!???!

Aw i like your dog what’s his name

Wait where’s the dog I want more dog

Quickly checks doesthedogdie.com

Only one report and it says no so I think we’re good.

Did you actually end things with Alex though? NO YOU DID NOT. You just GHOSTED HIM

Nora’s right go to london

OH HES HERE HES AT THE GATE shkskskksksks

oh my god Henry’s speech is heartbreaking.

“I can love you and want you and still not want that life. I’m allowed. And it doesn’t make me a liar. It makes me a man with some infinitesimal shred of self preservation and you don’t get to come in here and call me a coward for it.”

Okay whelp now I’m crying. Being a prince do be like that. Except fuck Harry and Meghan for reals.

Well you can’t just not let anything happen to you. Because nothing will ever happen to you. Isn’t this what Dory says to Marlin in Finding Nemo wtf 😂 PLAGIARISM

I’m pretty sure the royal family don’t have a key to the British museum please correct me if I’m wrong, they could have magic skeleton keys to every building in Britain but it seems unlikely.

Circling a sculpture of a male torso like sharks hmm yes the deepening of the movie such imagery much wow very meaning

Please don’t dance amongst the statues that’s really cringe

Aw okay no I take it back it’s cute.

Elvis? it should’ve been a Bowie song just saying.

OH WAIT THE DOGS NAME IS DAVID I JUST REMEMBERED awww yesss hope nothing happens to david

Aw they’re dancing like they’re at a school disco 🤣

History huh? Bet we could make some.

PLEASE Alex waking up in Buckingham palace 😂 that’s gonna be an awkward walk of shame past the paparazzi 🤣🤣🤣

The chain on that key is new it is not old. When did he make that necklace yesterday?

OH MY GOD NO NOT THE EMAILS

#Hacked

No

No

No

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

WHY WONT THEY LET THEM TALK THIS IS DUMB AND STUPID

Surely someone has a sneaky phone they can hook them up on COME ON!!!!!

I fucking knew it was Miguel. Even when I thought it was the palace I knew it was him.

“This is about privacy” eek Prince Harry is gonna love this IRL

That whole speech from Alex was beautiful. Also means they can’t deny anything which is probably not the best strategic move I hope Henry’s not mad that he did that. Stupid idealistic Americans.

ZAHRA IM OBSESSED WITH YOU YOURE THE REAL QUEEN AND SHES FUCKING THE EQUARRY OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS IM IN LOVE IS ZAHRA SINGLE I WANT TO MARRY HER

SKINNY PERFECT ASS hjcicidoskkcncjidisokncnnfmdkskskkckkckcjncnsnamkck

“Baby” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I’m coming to london” WHY DID YOU NOT DO THAT AS SOON AS THE EMAILS GOT LEAKED

Omg that hug on the stairs stop it they’re actually so beautiful together

HES NOT PLAYING YANKEE DOODLE ON THE PIANO

Did Henry see Alex’s speech tho I kinda need to know

OH YAY HE SAW IT jcjcjdkksoxjjcncks

“Your boyfriend”

Oh the king wants to see them oh shiiiit

THE SIGNET RING

Shut the fuck up Phillip you Poncy cunt

THEY

No

NO THEY DIDNT

They did not get STEPHEN FUCKING FRY to play a HOMOPHOBIC KING

Bsbchjcjsjdjkckfkkdmsa I am laughing so fucking hard right now I’m crying I actually had to pause it I’m laughing so hard

THIS CASTING DIRECTOR EITHER NEEDS AN OSCAR OR A RAZZY I CANT DECIDE

Why haven’t they bowed all the royals now to each other

He smokes lol the king does not smoke they would consider it vulgar these days

That is a LARGE glass of whisky. Like that is four shots minimum.

Dear God, this King is so fucking stupid if he thinks that this can be explained with Clandestien reports after Alex has just done like a super romantic beautiful speech publicly acknowledging their relationship .

Like what is he expecting Henry to say that Alex was lying and he was making it up to further his mums political campaign?

Hommo sek siual 🤣🤣 I’m sorry but Stephen fry playing a homophobe is just so far outside the realm of me being able to suspend my disbelief I’m just PMSL

They will not accept a Prince- just wait

Now is the part where there’s a giant crowd supporting him

CALLED IT

GO

YAYYYYYYYYYY aww they’re so cute together aww aww awww yayyy look at all the pride flags

Of course the election hangs on Texas lol

It’ll come down to Austin

Writing her concession speech on election night I think not this would’ve been preappproved weeks ago

Prince would not be on stage he wouldn’t be allowed either by the royals or by his security team or by the Democrats lol

AND THE MOVIE’S OVER

Rachel Hilson that’s her name I love her

Someone needs to tell me if the book has better pacing than this because the pacing was all over the place for the first 45 minutes. The rest of the movie was great but idk

OH THERES A POST CREDITS 🤣 aww cake YAY that’s so cute abbdbsjajhahahahqh

There we go.

Overall not bad but the pacing and exposition was really off at the start. Lucky I’m procrastinating from writing otherwise I might’ve turned it off lol.

Love the actors (especially Alex’s eyelashes babe what mascara you using damn) and their chemistry but idk the writing was a bit cringe in parts. Really well acted though.

Recommend-ish?

Edit: it’s now the next day and I’ve had time to think about it. And the more I think about it the more I’m fucking in love with this movie

How rarely do we get to just see two silly little boys in love with none of the trauma dumping or anything just a beautiful little romcom for two happy little gays

10/10 idc about the exposition and cringe I loved it and it deserves the world.

[lightsiided]

     despite his gentle assurances, rey starts to cry harder -- how can she not, when he knows EXACTLY what she wants to hear? the promises are precisely something she has been hoping for, even before all this started. her fear over his safety is hardly something new. so rey clings to the words, the insistence that nothing will stop him from returning to her side, like a life preserver. of course she believes him. they have proven as much to each other before. even universal catastrophe, planet-ending war and the separation of lightyears of space have not been able to keep them apart. again and again, they have found each other. the trials that have done their best to prevent it have been no match for the iron will of their love. why should that change now?

shakily, rey exhales, then nods. "i know you're right," she murmurs. but knowing the truth of it -- even BELIEVING him -- doesn't lessen her fear. or at least it doesn't tonight. "i just worry about you." she sniffs, swaying a little closer. it still doesn't feel close enough. but how effortlessly he's crafted a plan to care for her brings a smile to her lips again. even with everything that's happened, he's already thought about what will make her feel better. he is so selfless, his love is so unending. it makes her chest feel tight. "you know how to take care of a baby?" she asks, a tone of mild surprise in her voice. of course. she should have known.

still, they don't need to decide how they'll care for her in the long term tonight. thor's right; rest is important, along with recovering from this awful day. rey can't help but to be AMUSED that, though he's the one who almost died -- and lost a dear friend along the way -- thor continues to emphasize how difficult her day has been. while it certainly has, she hasn't forgotten he's been through so much, too. he also wrestled with the idea of losing her forever. he also experienced what they thought were their last moments together. gently, rey reaches up and touches her fingers to his cheek. "you'll rest with me," she directs softly. "then we'll figure it out together tomorrow. our terrible day was shared. this will be, too."

in all the excitement of the last twenty four hours, she'd nearly forgotten why she'd come to visit thor in the first place. is this why they're out here? to make up for the romantic evening they'd sacrificed? the look on her face softens, her smile easy and sweet. it's cheering to think of him forcing a space for her between a never-ending list of fights. thor is the only person to ever make the way she feels a PRIORITY.

but what he says as he continues leaves her confused. does he really feel like he must make time for them now? surely they can spend time together tomorrow. they were only meant to have dinner, after all, before this nightmare began -- it's something easily rescheduled. hardly anything he should insist they don't want to wait for, and not really the UNIVERSE'S fault at all. through her confusion, she looks at him expectantly. "what is it?" rey asks, her head tilting to the side. something you should know. she's at a loss, unable to think of anything that might warrant a walk to the cliffs at midnight. "is something wrong? you can tell me."

against all odds, her reassurance breaks through the thick shroud of grief he finds himself in.  there is the slightest flutter in thor’s chest; like a light trying desperately to shine through darkness.  he knows.  that rey will be with him while he endures this storm is how he knows, without any doubt, that he will be alright.  nothing is unbearable or impossible so long as they have each other.  rey makes him stronger; with her love and her care, he could survive anything.

when they stop, and thor turns to face her, his hands lift to brush away her tears with his thumbs.  however fruitless it may be— the touch is gentle, and the love in his eyes, the ache he feels for her and her pain, is abundant.  “you know there is no such thing as being ready.”  even with all the time in the universe to ‘prepare,’ it means nothing.  but knowing they will have a dusk as they’ve had a dawn isn’t what’s most important right now.  “but i promise you�� i promise you, you don’t have to fear.”  moving his grip to her upper arms, he watches her with an intensity.  thor’s conviction returns.  just as he knows the sun will rise over new asgard in the morning, he knows this.  “whatever threat comes our way next. . .  our enemies will fail.  nothing will stop me from coming home to you.  you may not feel it now, but i hope that, soon, you will find peace in knowing i will never allow anything to take me from you.”

thor isn’t just fighting for the safety of others, now.  he isn’t fighting for his own life.  he’s fighting for one with her; he’s fighting for her.  so long as he fights for rey, nothing and no one can best him.  he won’t give them any other option.  releasing a breath, tension leaves his shoulders, but he feels the tightening of emotion in his throat.  his hands rub up and down her arms as his head shakes.

“we aren’t going to leave the baby.  we are going to go back, and you are going to take her home.  the two of you are going to sit together, and rest, while i. . .  figure it out.  you’ve had a long, terrible day.  i can take care of anything she’ll need.”  and he hasn’t forgotten his mental list.  food, clothes, crib.  then there are blankets, toys— and if he is forgetting anything (surely he is; if he’s honest, he hasn’t the first idea how to care for a baby) he already knows who’s help he’s going to enlist.  “we just had to do this first.”

searching her eyes for understanding, the look on his face smooths.  his hands fall to his sides.  the squirm of nerves in his stomach is brief.  “today has shown us. . .  there is always another fight, there is always a responsibility.  it’s interrupted us once, it will again.  so, we must do what we can to carve the time out for ourselves.  the universe won’t wait— why should we?  rey. . .  there is something i need to tell you.  something you should know.”

[shirks-all-responsibilities]

OK, there's tender, there's heartfelt, there's meaningful, but THIS CHAPTER??? I need new words to convey how it made me feel, how you wrote it, how there's something about the purity and honesty of the sheer *feelings* and healing happening here with these two bbys that just about shredded my heart up? 💗💗💗

My heart, how sad to learn how far back her enslavement went, how she would look up to the beyond and hope and imagine--when she explained that to Din, it brought tears to my eyes, how at such a young age she was able to grab onto such HOPE, even if it was just a sliver, how somehow she hadn't internalized things completely, knowing her lot in life wasn't fair, wasn't supposed to be that way, hoping for something different...how easy it can be for those kind of experiences to eat someone alive, to completely fall into despair...but SHE NEVER LOST HOPE?

The descriptions of the night were so poignant, that after an earlier life that could have so easily broken her, she came out the other side, still finding a comfort in the same things that were coping mechanisms in the past? How for so many who have experienced trauma, the night and darkness are something different for them, something transformed, a time of peace, comfort, pondering, feeling like the darkness understands you? The solitude the only time things feel right? How that never really leaves someone like that?

And then Din sharing more about his story, and YESSSS "these two lil poor bbys"! 😭How they both have such deep hurt, that deep unmet human need to belong in a real way? How Din has probably never in his life had the opportunity to hear someone echo the same kind of feelings he's had, to give voice to them and frame them in a way he can understand what has really happened to him, to allow himself to fully feel it, to realize someone else felt the same way? To be accessing parts of himself he's shoved down for so long? That tragedy of how young he was when everything changed, that all this time since, he was still there? 😥

My HEART when she realizes he's told her his real name? And then when she SAYS HIS NAME back to him and then calls him undefeated??? I can barely imagine even the tiniest speck of how that must have felt for him??? His poor lil heart and soul probably just about burst open? Can you imagine what his face looked like at that moment, and she couldn't see it? For someone with so much guilt and internalized shit, OH DIN BBYYYY!!

The intimacy of the helmet being off, the WAYYYYY he covers her eyes, tilts her back, how so much is wrapped up in the gentleness of that kiss??? I need a new word for how fucking TENDER and MEANINGFUL and ROMANTIC this was??!!!!!

THESE TWO BBYS DESERVE ALL THE GOOD THINGS!!! 😭

*Let's out a deep breath* OK how can I even continue after that?? Now that I have calmed myself a bit, a few other things I loved!

"Excessive description of nighttime" 😆 I loved it, I just sat and wished I could see the vibrancy of what you were describing? To see what the skies must look like in their universe? It must be awe-inspiring, like nothing we've seen? *I would like to see it*

Such a small detail, but the way you describe how the day changes to night on that planet, the way the "fading sunlight" warms the hull of the Razor Crest and she feels that warmth? I loved that little detail.

And THIS: "And there’s a depth that your eyes can never quite see the end of - no matter how hard you focus on the dark parts, it’s like there’s always something, some little faint light that your eyes can’t see. But it’s there, and it could be a tiny star, or a planet with trillions of people. Only the universe knows.” What an achingly beautiful way to view the cosmos, and how this can have a deeper meaning about existence?

The Third Step - Chapter Twenty-Two

Part of The World Is Light, Embodied.

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit (not this chapter but series as a whole)

Word Count: 5100

Warnings etc.: anxiety, introspection, a smidge of fluffy domesticity, a pinch of banter, excessive description of nighttime, ANGST, mentions of past emotional and physical trauma, mentions of slavery and forced confinement, mentions of potentially abusive strict religious code, two poor lil bbys finding solace in each other I’m crying 😭

Notes: I’m going to officially jump off the edge into AU territory here, because I just can’t resist using a headcanon of mine re: The Tribe’s social structure and culture and I get the feeling it won’t align with what we actually see in the show. Filoni, please don’t fail me in S3.

Mando’a translations at the end of the chapter.

Please check out the Series Masterlist page for more info.

The mid-afternoon sun filters down through the trees, painting the forest floor in dappled blues and greys, catching on the blue-leaved saplings and ferns that grow in patches scattered over the forest floor. There’s nothing but forest as far as you can see, endless stretches of trees and gently rolling hills, the only sounds the soft susurration of the wind through the leaves above. 

You’d shed your jacket before setting out and slipped on a sleeveless shirt, anxious to fully immerse yourself in the natural beauty of this little planet, and the breeze is pleasantly warm on your skin. 

It’s grounding, being in this sort of solitude again. You haven’t been this far from another person - and you’re still only about half an hour’s walk from the Crest - since before you’d joined Mando and the kid. It almost feels like seeing an old friend after a long time has passed, familiarizing yourself with how you used to move about the world, the quiet that makes your thoughts bloom brighter, louder, nothing to interfere or distract them. 

You slip through the trees, meandering, no particular destination in mind, keeping the sun on your left so you can find your way back when you’re ready. 

Smiling to a tree as you pass it, your fingers graze the small bump in your blaster holster belt - there was always Mando’s comlink if you get lost. 

Kriff, how embarrassing would that be, though. Having to call him to come rescue you because you got lost on a little walk through the woods?

A memory flashes across your thoughts - flying above Mos Eisley, his arms cradling you close to his chest, your nose tucked into his neck and the scent of him filling your lungs.

Ok, maybe being rescued by him wasn’t so bad.

The branches just above your head rustle, a distinctive skittering of tiny claws on bark. 

A quick scan of the trees above doesn’t show you anything, maybe it’s gone -

There. 

It’s only a blur of grey, movement so quick you can’t really make it out before it disappears behind the truck of a tree. 

One of the small, tree-dwelling animals, must be. 

The creature is probably just curious, and you have absolutely no intention of disturbing it. 

But there’s a lot more of them than there is of you. 

Your gaze drifts over the trees around you, searching for any movement, any sign of animals or otherwise. 

Nothing. 

Except - the trees thin out, just over there. You can see swathes of the pale blue sky between them, instead of the shifting glimpses in the forest around you. 

Curiosity wars with caution. 

Less trees means less cover, more exposure to anyone - or anything - that might be around. 

But when are you going to get another chance to free roam through a beautiful forest like this one?

Curiosity is already moving your feet before you can think of a counter-argument. 

You weave through the thinning trees, all senses tuned for signs of movement around you. 

Dank farrik. Beautiful.

The forest ends abruptly, cut off by a wide canyon that eats up most of the ground in your sightline, with a steep drop down to thick brush below. Cliffs of white stone shimmer in the sunlight on the far side, dotted with - are those caves? Interesting. 

A tree branch just over your shoulder suddenly bends, dips sharply.

Your blaster is out of its holster and in your hand before you register the round, furry creature on the end of the branch. 

It’s curled in on itself with all four paws gripping the branch tight. Standing on its hind legs, it would probably be as half as tall as the kid. Grey and silver-striped fur covers its entire body, down to the tip of its long, thin tail, which is currently wrapped securely around the branch it’s perched on. 

And two large, circular eyes stare at you, unblinking, bright blue irises fixed on the blaster in your hand. 

Slowly, you relax your finger off the trigger, keeping your voice soft and unassuming. “Hello.”

Those bright blue eyes flick to yours, snubbed snout twitching. 

Ok, well. That’s better than attacking you. 

So not inherently aggressive toward people, at least. 

“Sorry to disturb you, I was just taking in the view.” You shift your feet just a little, intentionally, watching for its reaction. 

The creature glances at your boots then back to your feet, tail twitching on the branch. 

Likely one of the larger predators in this area, then, if it doesn’t spook easily. 

But if it’s not scared of people and also not used to being threatened, that could mean it’s not afraid to act aggressively, too. 

Time to go. 

You give the creature a little half-smile. “Well, I should be getting back. Enjoy your evening.” 

That bright blue gaze never wavers as you deliberately turn to the forest, step back into the trees. 

You only get a few paces before the skittering of little paws sounds off above your head. Looking up, you can see flashes of grey fur and a rounded body moving quickly through the treetops, following your path. 

The creature stops right above you, this time sitting out in the open, blatantly watching you. 

With curiosity, hopefully. 

It follows you all the way back to the clearing the Razor Crest is in, occasionally leaping from one branch to another in order to keep up, though it never moves closer, maintaining what it obviously seems is a safe distance from you. 

Which you’re fine with, the last thing you want is for it to feel unsafe in its own home. 

As you near the clearing’s edge, the sunlight glints off the Razor Crest’s hull, dazzling your vision for a moment. A quick glance shows you no sign of Mando or the kid, but they’re around somewhere, no doubt. 

The rustling above stills, and you pause, looking up into the trees, searching - there, two bright blue eyes peeking out between a cluster of leaves, just out of your reach. 

“Is this where we part ways?” You gesture to the ship, and the creature’s nose twitches again in something like a response. “I’m guessing you’re not eager to get close to the giant shiny thing. Or the smaller but equally imposing shiny thing and his tiny green sidekick.”

The creature suddenly chirps, a high-pitched shrill sound, and takes off in a flurry of frantic movement. 

Your instincts kick in hard, and immediately your blaster is in hand again, boots shifting to turn and assess the danger, heart in your throat. 

Mando. 

Standing there a few paces away, the kid in the crook of his arm. 

The black visor turns back to you from where it was focused on the animal’s departure. “Adding to our collection of adorable creatures again?

You smile at the reference, remembering the sweet little houjix on Kinyen. “Unfortunately, the recruitment campaign was unsuccessful this time.”

“We’ve got our hands full, anyway.” He bends to set the kid down, the little guy wriggling free at the last minute to start shuffling toward you. 

Holstering your blaster, you squat to grab him, dramatically swinging him up into your arms as you straighten, laughing along with his giggle. “Is that right, kiddo? We got our hands full with you?”

Big amber eyes blink up at you, his ears slanting downward just a bit in a perfect expression of innocence. 

You lightly flick the end of an ear. “Can’t fool me with that look, I know who ate all the cookies I hid from the last supply run. And it wasn’t me or your dad.”

He suddenly turns away, squirming to get down, and you carefully set him back on his feet, clicking your tongue as he shuffles away. “I see how it is, confronted with the truth and you take off. Well, don’t go too far, we’re going to practice reading in a minute.”

Mando watches the kid move away, black visor trained on him while a gloved hand lifts toward you, pulling you closer when you take it. “He missed you.”

Your smile grows as you move to stand beside him, pressed against his arm. “I missed him, too. Though it was good to get out for a bit.” Glancing at Mando out of the corner of your eye, you squeeze his hand once. “What about you? Miss me?”

The helmet tilts in consideration, playful regret heavy in his modulated voice. “Guess I’m getting used to having you around.”

“How unfortunate for you.”

“I’ve dealt with worse.”

You shift closer, and the helmet turns to look at you, his hidden gaze heavy on yours as you press your breasts to his bicep, run your free hand down his arm to slip a finger under the cuff of his wrist and caress the warm skin there. “Still. What can I do to ease your suffering?”

His arm flexes slightly, a tremor you wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t been so close to him. “I can think of a few things.”

A spark of want flickers in your core at the low rasp of his voice, but it’s quickly suppressed by mild amusement as movement across the clearing catches your gaze. “You’ll have to tell me later. Right now, we should probably handle that.”

The helmet turns fast, a muttered curse you can’t quite make out filtering through the modulator as he obviously spots the kid clawing his way up the trunk of a tree, already a few feet off the ground. 

Both of you move as one, striding quickly toward him, and even though your hands had parted with the motion, you feel the warmth of his palm against yours for a long time after. 

*****

Night comes slowly on this planet. It creeps along the horizon, a barely noticeable shift of colour and light that washes infinitesimally through the trees, shadows growing longer until they blend together and blanket the world in comforting dark. 

The hull of the Razor Crest is still warm from the fading sunlight as you lean against the frame of the open crew door. Soft sounds float through the hold behind you, Mando putting the kid to bed after an evening of play and reading practice. A small smile curves your lips, remembering those big, amber eyes studying the words on the datapad as you and Mando took turns showing the kid the respective objects. 

Trying to teach him “ball” might have been a mistake - as soon as you brought out the metal sphere that screws onto one of the levers on the ship’s control console, the kid’s attention had shifted immediately and lesson time abruptly ended. 

You were happy with the progress, though. Well, not that there was much, it was hard to tell what the kid understood. But he’d been attentive, surprisingly focused. You had hope he would learn to read, and be able to move through life with a skill you knew from experience was worth more credits than you’d ever earn. 

Now lesson time was over, play time done, and you and Mando have the night to yourselves. 

Breathing deep, you close your eyes for a moment, focus on feeling the cool, sweet air filling your lungs, the rustle of leaves in the trees on the edge of the clearing as the breezes sifts through them. 

Kriff. This is nice. 

It’s been a while since you simply stood and enjoyed the night like this. Probably Bakura, that would have been the last time - sitting on your back deck, thinking about where the next step in your life was going to take you, just before a certain Mandalorian had appeared, looking for help for a sick kid. 

But before that, you had loved it, the transition from day to dark. It had been - still was - a moment of peace, calm. Tranquility. 

With the night came quiet. Time to lose yourself in thought, no demands to be met, no fear of retribution for resting. 

A dull throb of something like hurt swirls through the pit of your stomach as memories float to the surface of your thoughts. 

Memories usually buried deep, locked away. 

You open your eyes, automatically tilting your face up, gaze fixing on the two moons rising above the treetops. 

Memories of looking up to find other moons, on countless other planets, sometimes through windows, sometimes through cracks in ceilings. Sometimes only in your mind, the cold press of binders on your ankles nothing like the cool brush of dewy grass on your skin, as hard as you tried to imagine it was. 

Swallowing back the lump in your throat, you force yourself to smile at the moons. Because those memories - that’s not now. They’re old, faded with time, distant in the past. 

Now, you have this, a quiet night on a remote planet, a ship you call home, a little creature who has nestled deep in your heart. 

And him. 

Soft bootsteps head toward you from the hold, and moments later a strong arm is curving around your waist, solid frame standing close. 

“Kid is asleep.” His modulated voice floats just over your shoulder. “You ok?”

“Yeah, just… thinking.” You push those memories aside, leaning back into his embrace. His pauldron digs into your shoulderblade, sparking an question you’ve been musing on for a while. 

The problem is, you’re not sure if it’s… inappropriate. Maybe it’s frowned upon, even shamed. 

But you want to know more, want to understand -

“You’re thinking too loud again, tionas.”

“Dank farrik.” Sighing, you turn to face him, resting your palms on his breastplate. “You sure that helmet doesn’t come with mind-reading abilities?”

He hums noncommittally, free hand settling on the small of your back. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Ok. This is him, it’s fine, just ask. 

You slip your hand across his chest to trace the symbol on his pauldron. “Can you tell me about this? What it means?” 

Too much, too forward, you shouldn’t -

Anxiety chips away at your forced confidence, and it instantly crumbles. “Pfassk, I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer, I just - I don’t know, teaching the kid to read tonight brought back some memories and I got lost in the past there for a minute and when I came back I realized I don’t really know much about your past and that’s ok because that’s what we agreed to when we met, that we don’t have to share our secrets, really it’s fine if you don’t want to tell me, please just forget about it and crikking hells I’m rambling I’ll shut up now.”

The last few words push out of you in a rush, and you groan in frustration, bringing both hands up to cover your face. What is wrong with you, kriff, you need to get a hold of yourself, you can’t be dissolving into nonsense like this. 

Long, leather-clad fingers wrap around your wrists and pull your hands away. Your vision fills with black and silver, reassuring, steadying the reactive nervous flinch that tries to pull you away from him. 

He calmly places on of your hands back on his chest, the other over the symbol on his pauldron. “A lot has changed since we first met.”

You huff a laugh, still fighting to shake off the itch of anxiety. “Understatement.”

His soft chuckle is soothing. “It is. Everything is different with you, now.”

Those familiar words sink through your skin, the warm bright thing in your chest flares in response, burning away the last of your anxiousness. 

He leans in, gently taps his forehead to yours, the beskar cool on your skin. “My secrets are yours.”

Your heartbeat skitters, a deep breath steadies it as your fingers glide over the symbol. “Ok. Then will you me what this means?”

The helmet turning to look down at your hand on his shoulder. “It’s my clan signet.”

A memory, his soft voice telling you how he had defeated a massive beast. When he first saw the kid use his powers. “The mudhorn?”

He nods once. “My tribe’s leader said I earned it but I… resisted, at first, because I thought…”

A deep breath filters through the modulator, his shoulders rising and falling with it. “The kid was a quarry. It didn’t feel right, an enemy had helped me. But the next time we spoke of it, she gave me my mission - reunite the kid with the Jedi, care for him as my own until then. She insisted I had earned my signet.”

You slip your fingers under the cloth of his cowl, find his warmth underneath. “She must have known how important he was to you, even then.”

He pauses, clearly considering your words, then hums in agreement. “She is very wise. I should have listened to her the first time. But I doubted myself. The earning of a signet is a rite of passage. Especially for someone like me.”

There’s a hint of something heavy in his voice, something like regret. You slide the hand on his pauldron down to find his bicep, squeezing reassuringly. “Someone like you?”

“A foundling.” He pauses, words muted by emotion despite what you can tell is a strong effort to ignore it. “Mandalorians view adoption as the same as blood relation. We have a saying - aliit ori’shya tal’din. ‘Family is more than blood.’ But the foundlings rescued during the Clone War are… kept separate. Adoption isn’t allowed for us. We are expected to found clans of our own, to replace those that were destroyed.”

He’s said these words to himself many times before, you can tell. Practiced forcing pride for his people’s ability to survive against all odds into the words, repeating them until it sounded convincing. 

But you’ve grown accustomed to listening for any slight inflection, any hints of emotion in his voice. And you can hear it, the hurt underneath those words. 

The pain of being forced to be different. Of not being permitted a clan. A family. 

Maybe it’s louder because it echoes the hurt in your own heart. 

What comfort can you give him, when you’re still trying to heal that same part of yourself? 

A breeze floats through the open door, carrying the cool scent of the forest. Those memories resurface, those many moons and stars and dark horizons, the ache in your chest as you gazed upon them.

Your fingers find the outline of his collarbone underneath his cowl, thumb grazing the shape through his layers of clothing. “Mine are yours, too, you know. My secrets.”

He lifts a hand to gently cup your cheek in silent thanks, warmth of his broad palm quickly seeping through the leather of his glove. 

Your words falter, unsure. “Can I… show you one? A secret of mine?”

“Of course.”

Anxiety surges up the back of your throat, bitter on your tongue, and you swallow it back down. 

You can do this. You can face those memories, for him. 

Taking Mando’s hand, you lead him down the ramp into the clearing, pausing when your boots hit grass to look back at the ship. “Can you close the door? It’s best if there’s as little light interference as possible.”

He releases your hand, deftly keys the command into his vambrace, looking back to you as the door slides shut. The only light is moonlight, filling the clearing with a pale glow that blurs the edges of shapes and outlines. 

Perfect. 

You move a little further away from the ship to the centre of the clearing where the night sky is most visible, and cross your legs underneath you, sinking down to the ground. A shuffle of movement and he joins you, stretching one long leg out in front of himself, bending the other at the knee to prop an arm up. 

The moonlight glimmers off his armour, setting it aglow, and for a moment you can’t think, can’t remember what you were doing here because your thoughts are filled with him, the fluid grace of his movements and the blatant strength behind them, the way he follows your silent request to join you in sitting without question or hesitation. 

If you had any doubt left about whether or not you could trust him with what you’re about to say, it would have vanished in that moment. 

The warm bright thing in your chest pulses in time with your heartbeat. 

Gesturing toward the sky, you look up, let your gaze drift over the star-studded dome above you. Take a deep breath. Begin. 

“When I was a kid, night was always my favourite. My owners were usually asleep, so it was the only time I had to myself. No chores, no duties, no demands, just me and the dark. I would sit at whatever window I had access to and watch the world, covered in night.”

His helmet tilts, black visor turned to the sky, gloved hand finding yours in the grass. The way his long fingers curl around your palm is a blessed distraction. 

A reminder that he’s still here, despite knowing who - what - you used to be. 

Breathing the silent reassurance in with the cool breeze, you smile, let your thoughts drift. “Everything looks so different, at night. Buildings, mountains, plains, all of it. Like those trees -“ you point toward the forest - “so pretty and delicate in the daylight, now they’re shadows with mysteries of the creatures that live among them. As if they lead two different lives, one they show to the light world and one they only show in secret.”

A subtle movement in the branches nearby draws your attention, but it stops before your gaze can fix on it. “The animals are different, too. At night, nocturnal creatures invade, move along the same paths as those day dwellers, making them their own for the night. Animals who have learned to live without the comfort and safety of warm sunlight, to not just exist but thrive.”

The helmet flashes in the moonlight as he follows your gaze, again when you turn back to look at the sky once more. 

Even though you’ve seen a starry night sky countless times, there’s something about it that still takes your breath away, turns your voice soft with wonder. “Then there’s the sky. That’s always my favourite part.”

Words fail you for a moment, your gaze taking in the endless expanse of stars and swathes of dust in wide lines, pricks of light and shimmering arches against a field of dark. Countless planets, moons, nebulas - worlds, filled with cities and wilderness and as many people as there are stars. 

He shifts beside you, letting go of your hand. “Stay like that.”

You watch him move to sit behind you, confused. “What are you doing?”

“There are night filters on my helmet I can’t turn off.”

Realization fires panic through your veins, and you turn away frantically. “Oh, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, we can stop -“

“It’s ok, I want to see what you see.” His back presses against yours, and a glint of metal flickers in the corner of your eye, his hands setting something in the grass beside him -

His helmet. 

Your heartbeat pounds in your throat. 

He’s right behind you, bare-faced. All it would take is a simple turn of your head and…

Something hot and sickly turns your stomach. 

You can’t even think it. 

He trusts you. More than he’s ever trusted anyone before. 

And you’ll never betray that trust. 

The breeze catches on the tears prickling in the corners of your eyes, and you blink to clear them, refocus your gaze on the sky above. “I’ve always thought the night sky is the most beautiful part of any planet. The stars, planets, moons - light and dark, contrasts that could never exist in the day. And there’s a depth that your eyes can never quite see the end of - no matter how hard you focus on the dark parts, it’s like there’s always something, some little faint light that your eyes can’t see. But it’s there, and it could be a tiny star, or a planet with trillions of people. Only the universe knows.”

He’s quiet but you sense that he’s still listening, so you continue, bringing your knees up against your chest and hugging them close, as if they were a barrier protecting you from the dull throb of emotion that grows with every word you speak. 

“I used to try and see those faint lights as a kid, figure out what they were. Imagine that, maybe, they were planets or ships with people who…” The words stop up in your throat, and you breath deep to clear them, push them out. “People who knew me, knew where… where I came from. And maybe they knew I wasn’t supposed to be a slave, that there was somewhere I belonged, and they were looking for me.”

The night sky disappears from your sight as your eyelids squeeze shut. “I used to imagine I had a family up there, and I would find them one day.”

Tears threaten to spill and you shake your head firmly. No, you will not cry over those memories. Not any more. Because they are the past, and what you have here, right now, is important. 

Clearing your throat, you open your eyes, focus on the dark outline of the trees swaying gently in the breeze. “Sorry, I got away from myself for a moment there. I just wanted you to know that I… I understand what it feels like to not… belong. And to wish you did.”

A flare of anxiety makes your fingers twitch. “Anyway, it probably sounds like a child’s silly daydream - or night-dream is that a thing? Well, there’s dreams you have at night, but that’s not what I mean, obviously.”

“Every child dreams of things they don’t have.” His unmodulated voice is so soft, it’s familiarity soothing the sharp edges of your memories. “And you had more reason than most to dream.”

You blink up at the stars, processing his words. “Maybe. But you’re right, every child dreams, just as every child has to struggle through something. We can’t compare our struggles, only try to understand them. Because surviving those struggles is what makes us who we are.”

A stillness settles over him. You look down at your knees, uncertainty squirming behind your ribs.

Did you say something wrong? Did you go too far? What -

“You remind me of him.”

His words pull you out of the threatening anxiety spiral, and you tilt your head just a bit, curious. “Of who?”

“Din Djarin.” 

Mild confusion buzzes through your limbs, and you frown at the dark trees.

He takes a deep breath, a sigh that moves gently against your back. “I will always be grateful to them. Without my tribe, I would not have survived.”

There’s a rustle of motion, whatever he’s trying to say obviously making him restless. “When I came of age, I put on the armour, swore to follow The Way to my last breath. Became a Mandalorian. Faceless. And nameless. That’s how we ensure the Creed stays true. By erasing who we are. Making us only Mandalorian.”

A particularly strong breeze swirls around the two of you, pulls the edge of his cowl along your arm, and your fingers dig into the skin of your calves with the urge to touch him. Let him speak, let him finish, he needs this. 

He huffs a laugh - not his usual one. This sounds is full of disbelief, heavy with regret. “But you remind me that under the armour and the Creed - maybe even despite it… Din is still there.”

Time stops. 

Realization washes through you, cold and hot at the same time. 

Din is still there. 

Din Djarin. 

His name. 

That warm bright thing in your chest suddenly bursts, fills your entire body with an overwhelming need to somehow prove that you see him. Under all of it, despite all of it, you see him. “Everything you’ve been through…”

The words shift, change as they push past your tight throat into the night, soft. “You call me ‘undefeated.’ I think Din is ne’kotir, too.”

Silence. 

Drawn out, thick and heavy, settling over you, undisturbed by the steady, gentle breeze. 

Then he’s moving, quick motions that you can’t follow by listening, and -

His arms pull you back against his chest, legs border yours as he wraps his frame around you, and your eyelids slam shut instinctively just as a gloved hand slides over them, tilts your head back into the crook of his elbow. 

Then his lips are on yours and you stop breathing. 

His free hand cradles your face, fingers curve along the back of your neck, holding you there as his lips move so softly, coax a whimper from your chest.

You can taste them - the words he wants to say, sweet, the same words that hover at the tip of your own tongue. Remain unsaid, but there, in the way his breath stutters against your cheek. 

Slowly, he pulls away, gently turning your head back to face the trees and letting the hand over your eyes fall to your waist. 

Your lungs fill again, shaky, fluttering at the same pace as your pulse. He settles closer to you, tugs you deeper into his embrace, arms securely around your midriff, chin resting on the top of your head. 

It’s quiet in the clearing, a few moments passing with just the sift of the wind through the leaves. 

His hands find yours, threading your fingers together over your stomach, his voice soft and low. “You’re right, tionas. Every child struggles. Fights to survive.” He swallows hard, presses his lips to the top of your head. “I survived before I met you. Now, I live. Din lives.”

The words reverberate, weave through every part of you until they find their echo in the depths of that warm, bright thing in your chest. 

And you know there is no reply, nothing that could be said to convey everything you feel in this moment.

So you pull his arms tighter around you, breath deep the scent of the night mingled with him, with Din, and let your gaze drift up to the sky, seek out those dark voids where dreams used to hide, and smile at the reality surrounding you. 

***** Mando’a translations

Tionas - question

***** Previous Chapter

[sannflwrr]

Sorry I Didn’t Say Something Sooner

Author: sannflwrr

Pairing: Taehyung x Y/N (ft. Jungkook)

Rating: 18+

Warnings: mid profanities (?), angst (per usual), mentions of weed, alcoholism, su!c!de, se*f-ha*m (yea this can be a very sensitive topic of individuals so please be cautious as you’re reading)

Summary: What would have happened if they said something sooner?

a/n: oof this is actually so depressing. idk i was getting in my thoughts as i was writing this so some of the inner monologues are just me reflecting, i apologize for another angsty draft :”)

Sometimes I think of myself like a planet. Everyone was their own star, at the center of their own lives, while I was hopelessly rotating around others. Everyone found a way to be loved, I struggled to make people love me. I was alone, exiled from the solar system. I was Pluto. And Kim Taehyung, he was my sun. 

After sometime, going so long without any type of romantic interaction makes a person hopeless. Am I that unlovable? Everyone I knew around me had experienced one at some point, sweet love, a spicy summer fling, all sorts of tropes that I had only ever read about in stories. They would tell me my chance would come when I’m older. It never made sense. If not now, what would ever indicate that I would be deserving of it in the future? To make matters worse, there was someone who I yearned to open my heart up to, but I was far too much of a coward and my belief that I was simply unloved was far too strong that I didn’t see the signs. Not until it was too late. 

We all used to be great friends in high school and throughout college. In-state tuition was cheap, so most of the friend group remained within the state for the following four years, where we attended school at the same university, just very different majors. Life was fun then, I was distracted by the highs of singleness that I momentarily forgot about all my inner hatred for myself. My lack of sexual and romantic experience which channeled into my lack of self esteem and a build up of hatred to my own physical appearance. I never realized my behavior was all just a lot of insecurity. I was constantly conscious about the way I looked, the way I talked, how I sent text messages to people, to the point where it was overbearing. Only after I began seeing a therapist after the nightmare that was senior year, did I begin to realize I had major issues with my self-image. 

Taehyung was easily the most liked in our group. He was fun, easygoing, and pretty. During orientation week as freshmen, lots of girls would approach him, because he was eye-catching and had a baritone voice that usually caught people by surprise. They would tell him they loved his hair. He used to smile back and say thank you. They liked his hair, but not as much as I did. No one ever liked it as much as I did, because I was the only one who never told him how much I did. He would simply catch me staring at his hair, and I’d give him a small smile, then look out the window. I never told him a lot of things I was feeling, and in that way, I felt like our silence was our language. It’s hard to explain through words, but it felt like we understood each other in a different way than the others did. 

He was good with his alcohol, while I only drank in social settings. That taste of it was awful, unless it was heavily diluted with orange juice or it was the cotton candy flavored wine from the grocery store two blocks away. My friends knew I didn’t like drinking, but rather than exclude me from their outings, they still brought me along. It was nice that they didn’t make fun of me for not drinking with them. By this point, it was junior year, so most of them were borderline alcoholics. Taehyung had started to smoke by this point, so whenever I came near him, he would smell like earth and cinnamon. It was more grown up, but it suited him. I still liked his curly hair, which remained unchanged. He asked me if I wanted to try his joint once. It was difficult for me to say no to guy like him, with his sweet dark chocolate eyes, so I did. It was terrible, I ended up choking over air, and coughing so much that my eyes turned red. It was worth it because it made Taehyung laugh, which strung a chord in my heart.

“I miss hearing your laugh.” I had told him. We were out in the parking lot of the bar, the silence was nice in contrast to the music and noise inside the building. My comment caused his smile to fade slightly, but not completely. Like he had been waiting for someone to notice. Like he wanted someone to notice. 

“I just can’t find a lot of things worth enjoying anymore.” He looks down at the burning cigarette in his hand, and lets it fall to the ground. “It’s an easy escape, this thing.” 

And for a moment, those words of his brought me out of the little bubble I created for myself. I remembered all of the awful things I would say to myself in the mirror, the constant doubt…

We were the same, I realized. He had friends and felt so surrounded to the point where he was alone. No one understood him. They liked his exterior, whatever he put on for other people. And I was so alone that, 

I was so alone, that my thoughts scared me. 

“Do you like juice?” I asked him. I looked to the street, across from us was a 7/11. He followed my line of sight, then back to me. 

“Orange juice would be nice.” 

Five minutes later, I bring back one of those small bottles, one for him, one for me kind of deal. 

“Let’s make a toast.”

“To?”

“I don’t know.” I hesitate, looking down at my bottle. “To life. Trying to stay in it longer…I guess.” He’s quiet for a while, where it made me question whether my action was overdoing it, overstepping a line. But then he looks up at me from the curb. His shoelaces are untied. Taehyung lifts his bottle to touch mine.

“I can toast to that.” 

I continued to follow him, like how a planet revolves around the Sun. He was always there, and never faded from sight, no matter how low the probability was that I would ever say anything to him about the matter of my heart. I had bigger issues to deal with by then, that being my senior year. 

My friends were nice, but they didn’t understand what was happening to me. To put it quite frankly, I hated myself. To the point where my fridge was usually empty, with the exception of a box of cherry plums. I hardly looked at my mirror, and my apartment was mostly dark. The windows were usually closed, I didn’t like the light. And my bed was never made, mostly because I stayed in bed all the time. It was a struggle to wake up to go to class, and even more so to do my work and keep up with whatever social life I had. 

Again, they didn’t understand, but they gave me more peace than I could’ve imagined. They didn’t understand, but they never forced me to be way out of my normal just for their sake. To this day, even as I think about this, I couldn’t have been more blessed to have such a group of friends who didn’t pressure me for ghosting them on days on end, forgetting to respond to their texts because I was locked away in my own darkness. They only encouraged me to do the bare minimum, remember to take a shower, make sure there’s some food in my fridge. 

The time I did go out to meet them, it was at Taehyung’s apartment. His place smelled woody, like a grown up, which I realized we were at this point. Most of them had plans for the future laid out. I still felt like I was the train wreck from freshman year, which was yet another one of my problems which I didn’t want to address. 

There were about ten of us in the room, and it was a warm May night, which made the apartment heat up. I hated that I wore long sleeves especially for this, even though it’s all I ever wore. Most of them were extremely drunk by the time I arrived. The reason I stayed as long as I did because Taehyung’s eyes brightened when he opened the door to my face. It was nice that his face still had the same effect on me as it did all those other times. One thing remained unchanged. As soon as I stepped inside, he handed me a cup filled with orange juice. 

“I was hoping you would show.” 

“Me too.” I told him. It made me wonder in awe how he was able to keep up with this life so effortlessly. For me, it was immensely difficult, everything felt like a chore. The only things that didn’t feel like a chore was laying in bed. Or talking to him. 

I stayed there, listening to everyone talk until people began to head out one by one. I stayed until no one remained, where it was just him and I. This was different from the parking lot, but it felt the same. Just many, many months apart. 

“We hardly see you anymore.”

“It’s hard.” I told him, which is what he probably expected me to say. “I don’t think anyone sees me anymore. Not even my professors.” That caused his lips to rise a little, and he took a sip from his cup. 

I asked him where his bathroom is, and he pointed to the left. Excusing myself, I locked myself inside. Even the bathroom smelled like him, there was a shelf filled with his bathroom materials. There was no mirror in there, the bathroom was small so there wasn’t any room for a sink. My head tingled like I was dizzy. It was either the orange juice, or the fact that the orange juice is the only thing I had at all that day. I assumed it was the latter, and opened the door. This time, Taehyung greeted me by the mirror, staring at his own reflection. He was adjusting his hair. It still looked nice. 

I rolled up my sleeves to wash my hands. The silence was comforting with him, his dark eyes watching me pretty blatantly. Then he leaned against the wall. I realized he was staring at my hands. I quickly dried my hands. 

“It was a cat.” I said to him. “Scratched me.” 

He nodded, then looked at me again. “Your cat?” 

“Yeah.” Nodding, I glanced down at my sleeves. “I forgot to cut her claws.” 

“That must’ve hurt, then.”

I was silent. Because I realized he doesn’t believe my lies. And I hated how nice he continued to be despite that, I hated how much of a good person he can still be despite of everything he deals with. Him and I are the same yet he’s so put together and I am an absolute mess. 

“It did.” I whispered. “It hurt a lot.”

“Does she scratch you often?”

“Not often.” I stared at the sink bowl. “But sometimes.” 

He took a calculated step forward. “Do you know why?”

“I guess I make her angry, sometimes.”

“About?” 

By now, I couldn’t look him in the eye, or even myself in the mirror, so I stare at the sink, feeling the tears pool on my cheeks. “Everything. Just everything.” 

Taehyung watched me cry silently. We didn’t exchange many words after that, and just stood there in each other’s presence. That was the tipping point for me. I realized how I was feeling wasn’t normal, and that I should see someone to talk about my feelings. And that’s when I met Yoongi, my therapist. 

Taehyung was mentioned a lot in our sessions. My feelings for him, everything we used to talk about. Yoongi helped me work through my trauma and hatred for myself. Made me realize why I was so insecure. Taught me how to be nicer to myself. Taught me how to love myself. I started leaning away from the cat excuse. He was amazing and he saved my life. He’s still my therapist to this day. I’m not as messed as I used to be, but sometimes the thoughts still linger. 

There was a point in my recovery where the flowers began to bloom again. The Sun shone brighter for me, and I began to see colors again. A couple years after my graduation, which was when I met Jungkook. 

He was a breath of fresh air. I used to be so scared of being unlovable, but it was like those thoughts disappeared when he showed up. Unlike anything I had ever read or experienced in my life, he managed to sweep me off of my feet. He was sweet, considerate, and his smile was contagious. He was younger than me by a year, but somehow his entire presence made me feel like I aged back years. That was just his effect. He seemed to shine inside and out. 

Perhaps it was that I learned how to love myself, that I was able to show this love now for other people. Jungkook received it well, and returned it back to me like a boomerang. He soon became my first everything. And soon to be my last everything. 

I didn’t think about Taehyung much once Jungkook became one of the closest people to me in my life. I didn't have to anymore, because he used to be my Sun. Now I had finally learned how to be my own center, so the darker days started to drift away as I became happier. And Jungkook was a huge reason to that happiness, so I had no reason to. He made my heart full. 

But like all things that are pushed away, like my unresolved feelings that I shut off for many years, he returned many years later, on a warm summer evening. He was there with Jungkook and I at a fancy hall down in the city. Not just him, but many of my other friends, who were eager to see me. Jungkook was preoccupied with a couple of his old friends from college, so I was left alone for a moment. That was when we met again. 

“Y/N.” 

The first thing I noticed was his curly hair. It felt bittersweet, how some things refused to change. He was dressed in a dark blue suit, and a baby blue tie that matched the color code of the event. I felt a smile spread across my lips, it was both of surprise, but also of pain. Seeing him again…reminded me of a lot of things. 

“What a lovely surprise!” 

He smiles at me, then wraps an arm around me for a quick embrace. “It is an important occasion.” He glances over at Jungkook who is several feet away. Jungkook seems to catch my gaze, for he glances over and gives me one of his familiar grins. “Which by the way,” Taehyung adds. “Congratulations again.” 

“Thank you.” I’m still watching him socialize with his old friends, then I look back to Taehyung. “It’s been a long time since we last spoke.”

If I’m not mistaken, my response causes some pain in his eyes. His smile doesn’t betray it, and he glances away once to the champagne table to try and disguise it. “I would think that we are very different people now, right?” I hate that I understand what he’s really trying to ask underneath that. I nod once, letting the smile fade. He reminds me too much of my painful days. The longer I continue to stand in his cinnamon cologne, the harder it gets for me to breathe. Jungkook saves me at that moment, and he smiles at Taehyung. 

“Y/N, there’s someone I want you to meet.” I let him usher me off without a farewell to Taehyung. Not like I could’ve mustered much anyways. I felt like I was choking on flowers. The kind that smelt like him. It felt nice seeing him again after so long, but it also pained me. I didn’t like that it pained me, I felt guilty, Taehyung had never hurt me in any way. I still hoped I wouldn’t run into him alone that evening. My prayers were left unanswered, later that night, Jungkook fell asleep on me in the hotel, while my eyelids were struggling to close. It was the night before everything changed, it’s a big deal. I really wondered how he could sleep like a rock. All of the socializing must have worn him out. I found myself entering the lobby of the hotel for a change of scenery. 

I recognized the fluffy mop of curly hair outside of the hotel lobby, with a trail of smoke following him. It probably wasn’t in my best interests to go out there, but I did. 

“I didn’t realize you were at the hotel too.” 

“Well, most of us are.” Taehyung comments, then looks up at me from the bench. “You booked this place for everyone.”

“Right.” I nod. “Some of the details the planner takes care of, so I guess it flew over my head.” 

“He seems like a great guy.” Taehyung tells me. “You never gave much details to any of us.” He mentions our friend circle but I realize he’s just talking about himself mostly. I sit down next to him.

“I started going to therapy towards the end of college. My therapist — he’s great. He, he helped through so many of my problems. I didn’t realize how much I needed it after our conversation in your apartment, actually.” Taehyung smiles, it seems that he remembered. “After working on myself a lot, I finally learned how to love other people, and receive it in return. That’s how I found Jungkook. I like that our relationship is relatively private. I still get insecure from time to time, despite working on it…so I just choose to keep the most precious things to me private. I don’t want to know what other people think of him and of us.” 

Taehyung stays quiet for a while, and during that time I watch the way the smoke from his cigarette dissipates into the air. 

“Does he know?”

“Yeah.” I let out a small breath. It pains me that I know what he means of immediately. “He told me he wished he had known me back then.” I smiled to myself. “It’s not like he could have done anything. The me back then was very un-receiving to help.” 

Taehyung nods to this, like he agrees. “I was like him.” 

I still at this, waiting for him to continue. The silence that follows already explains a lot, but I need him to speak to confirm what I think he’s saying. 

“As a friend, there was only so much we could do for you, Y/N. Making sure you took a shower, that you ate. We always felt like we were overstepping boundaries if we got too involved in your life.” He hesitates when he says the next part. “But part of me…part of me thought that if I,” 

I can see that he is struggling to say the words. I know why he is — he’s treading so close to the line that we used to be at for years, but now he threatens to actually cross it, to break it. 

“If you?”

“If I had been more than a friend,” He continues. “Maybe things would have been different for you. Easier for you.” 

“I never realized you felt that way.” I said to him, it surprised me how easy the words came out. “For most of college, being friends with you was the only thing keeping me going.” 

“It’s nice to know that even despite that, you still found your way.” Taehyung says, and smiles at me. He’s smiling, but I can see the clear pain in his eyes. He doesn’t really try to hide it either, which makes it worse.

The words he said after made it hard for me to breathe, so much so that I spent the rest of my night holding back the tears in my chest. Not just for myself or him, but just everything. My friends noticed that something was off with me the following morning, but didn’t ask - knowing well I wouldn’t tell them the real reason. 

I couldn’t stop thinking about his words, and it made me feel so guilty walking down the aisle, and staring at the man that I vowed to spend my life with. I recited them word for word, but my head was elsewhere, still stuck on what Taehyung had said to me. 

“Do you ever wonder?” He had asked me.

The way Jungkook smiles at me usually gives me butterflies. But right now, I feel so guilty that I want to hurl. 

“I used to wonder all the time.” I told him. “I always wondered what could have happened if I had said something.” 

“I just wonder,” He stares up at the sky. “I wonder if I had said something, whether that would still be the same man who had given you that ring.” 

When the ceremony closes, Jungkook’s lips meet mine. I’m so in love with this man, so it revolts me how a mere conversation can shake me up so terribly. I’m so incredibly stunned with my own emotions and how they’ve swayed me incredibly. I know if Jungkook were to ever know how I was feeling right now, it would break his heart. He would be devastated. Because I am in myself right now. 

My eyes meet Taehyung’s one last time in the crowd. He wears a gentle smile, like how he always used to whenever he saw. It makes me sick to the stomach how much his short words impacted me. I hate how sick I feel. Because I know deep down that he was right. Had he said anything, had I said anything…there would have been someone completely different standing on that aisle. 

“So yeah,” Taehyung had looked at me wistfully. “That’s what I used to think about.” He got up. “I should probably get some sleep. Early day tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” I had told him, eyes planted to the floor. I couldn’t move. He neared the door, about to open it, when he paused.

“And Y/N?”

“Mm?” I forced myself to look away from the concrete. 

“Sorry I didn’t say something sooner.” 

[toonycatuwu]

Aight im done with the episode, parts 3 and 4 probably coming tomorrow so ima write a whole essay on the bullying tobey thing

*inhale* (SPOILER ALERT)

Theodore "Tobey" McCallister III is a character and a villain loved by the vast majority of the WordGirl fandom and community. There are a lot of interesting headcanons and AU versions dedicated to him. The fanart, fanfictions, animations... it's all spreading rapidly and I am very grateful for that. One of the most popular ships in the fandom is ToBecky, a lovable enemies to lovers pairing with WordGirl/Becky Botsford and Tobey. There are many reasons why people like this ship, but the main reason, formally known as Toony's Purpose II- Frienemies is the fact that Tobey is so lovesick for WordGirl that he feels the need to cause severe damage to the city just to get her love and attention. In other words, all he wanted was WordGirl's love and he cannot (not impossible, but most likely cannot) be convinced that he can turn good partially due to an incident in the episode Tobey Goes Good. It's to the point where he feels like WordGirl is the only person who ever truly cared about him. It's true that WordGirl and Tobey do get along in later episodes, but in this particular episode and movie, The Rise of Miss Power, Tobey witnesses the most heartbreaking and rage-inducing insults he has ever experienced in his entire life.

In the beginning of the movie, Miss Power decides to land to Earth to take over the entire planet with WordGirl. She meets WordGirl and first insults Dr. Two-Brains by being disgusted at his second brain. I wouldn't blame her for being sickened by a mouse partially possessing a man's mind, but I can sense that it still hurt both minds. Then, she goes on with WordGirl to insult the Butcher. She then tells WordGirl that she wants to be taught by her to use words more wisely, but things start going downhill. Now, this is the thing I hate the most about her: not only is Miss Power absolutely harsh to everyone, but judging by her history of ruling planets, she not only manipulated WordGirl, but also manipulated other people from multiple other planets as well. This proves that she will do ANYTHING to rule a single planet. She can make heroes hurt their fellow villains by harsh verbal use of language, and possibly make them slaughter millions of lives just to take control. She says that superheroes have lives and feelings, but guess what? Villains have lives and feelings as well! This is damaging and disgusting behavior, and the things she does including the awful excuses she makes just makes me want to climb into my TV and grab every villain's weapons and armies and rip Miss Power's soul out because I am so enraged at the scene I will describe in this next paragraph.

Tobey. We're finally getting to the British 10-year old boy genius who's the only most formidable in the world. As I mentioned before, he has this severely lovesick obsession with WordGirl, although she is supposed to be his enemy. This is extremely important to the plot because his obsession only gets stronger over time, as seen in the episodes Cherish is the Word, Talent Show Tobey, Best Fanclub Meeting Ever, Win a Day With WordGirl, and last but certainly not least, Go Gadget Go. After seeing them damaging Chuck emotionally (EMOTIONAL DAMAGEEE), I only realized the harm was about to get worse. The moment I am about to describe now is one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever witnessed in the entire WordGirl series.

First, Miss Power and WordGirl approach Tobey. WordGirl says, "Hi, Mrs. McCallister!" in order to scare Tobey because his weakness, besides love, is his mother. His mother often drags him by he ear whenever he gets in trouble because that's her way of punishing him. Her intimidating, buff appearance is what terrifies Tobey, and that's why he freaks out when her name is mentioned. Miss Power and WordGirl both laugh at him, of course. Tobey just finds it disrespectful and tries to carry on with the battle. WordGirl then INSULTS HIM HARSHLY by saying that he had a goofy haircut, and BAD CLOTHES. Tobey doesn't even have a bad sense of fashion! The bowtie and glasses completes him very well, and the outfit in general makes him look very dignified, as he always does. These insults are extremely damaging to him because not only does he state multiple times that he wants WordGirl to love him because he wants her to know he's strong enough to be worthy of her love, but he also just wants her to know that he's handsome. He makes a valiant effort to prove this. My respects go to him for doing this. WordGirl then says he's "afraid of his mommy". Finally, she finishes him off with the most damaging line: "You're a ridiculous villain, Tobey. You always have been!" This entire line is why I despise Miss Power with the deepest passion I've ever had before. She manipulated WordGirl into thinking that villains are heartless, and took that too far by standing here and watching her damage Tobey's vulnerable side of his soul by saying that he has always been a ridiculous villain. Ever since Tobey even MET WordGirl, he instantly fell in love with her because of her beauty, intelligence, and strength. He spent multiple seasons trying to get her to notice how worthy he can be for her love, desperately trying to prove that he's nothing without her and how he solely relies on her approval to love himself. Now he has to face the consequences of being evil when he felt like he never had a choice. Whoever taught him this logic needs to be put in prison. This child is 10 years old, mind you, and Miss Power is a fully grown adult manipulating another child about the same age as him into bullying him! At the end of the scene, Miss Power makes Tobey ACTUALLY CRY by bullying him even more. Becky goes on to hurt her family and even her sidekick as well. The rage and misery I feel when I'm constantly rewatching this scene, it's more than my soul can handle. Everytime I see this, the memories of Tobey's desperate efforts go rushing and flooding through my mind, making me want to delete Miss Power permanently for the pain she caused him. This scene is absolutely sickening, but I'm extremely grateful the creators of WordGirl created this movie and included this scene so the fandom and I can learn to think deeply about the characters and their role and development in the plot. They taught us to not bully others and not to severely damage people's hearts and minds.

In conclusion, I hate Miss Power and the things she did and still might continue to do. She manipulated WordGirl into damaging Tobey when he was at his most vulnerable state of mind. Plus, Tobey should get therapy or seek some help from people he feels like he can trust. This particular scene in this movie is a heartbreaking masterpiece and one of the most significant parts of the overall plot.

-Toony

[angeltreasure]

Hi. I come again to seek for your help since you're very nice and warm and I trust you. That doesn't mean I expect you to have the answer to everything, I just need some guidance, whatever you can offer will do me good. I have been having a problem having faith, trusting and believing. It's mostly because I don't feel capable of anything good and I know there are no impossibles for God, and I should just believe, but I don't know how to get past it. I guess my question is, how can I believe?

It's probably a dumb question, I know, but I don't know what to do or think or say anymore.

Have a beautiful day, and thank you

I think sometimes when we get in that place, it’s best to clear our minds first and go back to the basics. Grab your canon Bible, open to the Old Testament of Genesis. Read very slowly from the very beginning. As you read a little about each verse of how God created the universe that we know, look at pictures online of nature, animals, the stars. The beauty of the universe was created by God so we can be in awe and see how wonderful His love is all around us. I could go down rabbit holes easily of how epic nature is, the details discovered over the years from new planets, so ultra violet light, the wings of butterflies, the power of volcanos, the depths of the oceans, rainbows, and then, us! After you read a bit of Genesis, hop on over to one of my favorite verses. Isaiah:

“For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.”

- Psalm 139:1-18

Once you do that, skip right to the New Testament to read about the Passion of Jesus, how He died on the cross. Do the same thing, read it slowly. Try to picture yourself there in the scenes like a movie. See how awesome God’s love you for is, that His Son, Jesus, died on the cross not just for Christians but for the whole world. Even if you were the only one on Earth, He would still be on the cross just for you. How amazing it, a God that loves us beyond human comprehension. God is love, bursting Divine Mercy. God will never abandon us or forget us. Even on hard days when we don’t feel good, God is right there by our side in the chaos and deserts. Even St. Teresa of Calcutta experienced this “dark night of the soul” for forty years! Today, she is a great saint. God’s love for us does not depend on our emotion. When we struggle, pray a very small prayer. It can be as simple as, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

[creativesplat]

I often try not to be too critical on this blog, but I thought I ought to mention it. 

Star Wars the Clone Wars has some serious problems. 

Some things are just not handled delicately or correctly in any way shape or form. I’m not going to talk about the Clovis arcs here, since @englishlady has already done a very good job on that, and will instead elaborate on my opinions about the Zygerria arc. 

Trigger warnings for discussion of slavery, non-consensual stuff, and sexual harassment. 

Anakin’s portrayal was the thing that really frustrated me at first. This is a man who has suffered under slavery, abuse, and violence for the first nine years of his life, and the story writers are telling me that he is almost entirely comfortable bantering with his Padawan whilst surrounded by awful things from his past? After a few years you don’t just get over trauma, but his reactions seem to have. 

I have been through nothing even remotely as bad as this, but the bad stuff that has happened in my past isn’t something I can get over, and when it’s brought up I feel rather uncomfortable, uneasy, or downright rotten. 

The show writers really should have looked at this and said: ‘we are putting a character who has experienced childhood trauma into a position where he will be confronted by it and may experience it again, let’s try to handle it sensitively’ but what they actually went for was: ‘we’re doing episodes on slavery, there should be scantily clad ladies and the overall message that slavery is bad’ Yes. Slavery is bad. Everyone knows that. In dealing with such a sensitive topic, it should be handled better. Not just ‘slavery bad, but ooh look girls!’ (I will be getting on to the inappropriate costume design in a moment, btw), but also some delicacy and tact. These are real world problems that people today still suffer from, they should be handled more appropriately. 

There was one line that really stood out to me (although all of them were rather poor) and that was where Ahsoka is discussing her roll on the mission. 

Here’s the conversation from the Clone War’s TV show: 

Here’s the conversation from the comic. 

See the difference? 

It feels really really tone deaf for the only character that is making light of the situation the only one who has actually experienced it. It felt a little like saying: ‘oh this sort of thing isn’t that bad, hehe lol’. It felt dismissive and not only unpleasant in terms of the real world as well, but also just incredibly poor writing and story telling. 

You don’t even need to realise he has emotional trauma to realise his character would be uncomfortable in that situation, he doesn’t like sand and he’s on a desert planet. He doesn’t like putting Ahsoka in danger, and Ahsoka is in danger. I mean maybe I’m just a little judgmental or maybe I misread it… but… IDK, the portrayal of Anakin really cheesed me off. 

---

Here’s the bits that may be a bit triggering, just a warning:

Ahsoka’s outfit is in no way shape or form appropriate. She is dressed like a sex slave, and she is a child. 

Anakin would have probably chosen the outfits for this mission, because you know, he has the most knowledge on the subject. You can not tell me that the Ex-Slave Anakin Skywalker would gladly dress his underage female Padawan in saucy clothes. 

This was a creative decision which made no sense in the story or for the characters, and it has some rather unfortunate implications. Whilst Ahsoka is not in any way harmed sexually there is the implication that something could have happened, had the Queen or Anakin allowed it. That is a rather distressing concept. It is inappropriate, particularly for a young child. 

In the comics Ahsoka was dressed like Shmi Skywalker. 

It would have made no difference to the story had they kept her dressed as Shmi Skywalker. I don’t really understand why they decided to dress a 15 year old girl as what appears to be a sex slave. It is disgusting and inappropriate. 

Although, full disclaimer, I have never read the comics. I have only seen some of these pictures when researching to write this little opinion piece, so they may have handled the subject matter inappropriately too, I’m not sure.

---

Another monumental wrong doing on the part of the writers was to make the ‘romance’ between Anakin and Miraj Scintel feel (with the music and staging) like a pining love. 

She had his friends captured and seriously harmed, had him electrocuted until he fainted, and is the queen of an entire slave empire. 

It was not a romance, or even a pining one-sided love.

At best it was sexual harassment of a powerless prisoner/ slave. 

At worst it was sexual assault. 

He woke up on her bed (which a few people have pointed out is a little unnerving and suggestive), she was very touchy with him (and he is uncomfortable with it), and she threatened him with hurting Ahsoka and Obi Wan (indirectly but it was clearly still implied) and the people who wrote the show said that they wanted the audience to feel some form of pity at her death because of their ‘romance’.

There are some moments where the writers imply that Anakin might not be entirely as into their ‘relationship’ as she is, telling her that she had “all the power” in their dynamic, but he looks so nonchalant at this point that it might go over the head of an audience member. He is telling her that she is forcing a relationship on him, and that he is powerless to stop it, and it’s played off as a blasé interaction. 

I’m not entirely sure you can put those things in a show and try to play it off as romantic to get the ‘child-friendly’ rating. They could have quite easily at least attempted to deal with the serious subject matter that they introduced. There was a suicide and a significant amount of torture and abuse in these three episodes, so there was no excuse when the show glossed over such obvious and unpleasant misconduct.

I don’t know what it is with the writers writing abusive, predatory characters who’s deaths are supposed to inspire pity. Miraj Scintell was handled as poorly as Rush Clovis was, and I don’t really have a solution to that.

Maybe if you’re watching the Zygerria arc of the clone wars, don’t watch it with younger siblings or your children.

Although, this is completely an opinion piece, so if you totally disagree or think I’m a bit of a hater or just being judgemental, that’s fine. I may be being too harsh, IDK.

I’d like to think that this was an honest mistake from the writers rather than them being deliberately obtuse or inappropriate.