#Journal entry style story

[phantomstofathom]

I've got a little au inspired by the Magnus archives

(note: I can't stand the actual podcast (I can't do podcasts in general) because the voice is super boring to listen to, and my brain can't focus on it at all, so my experience with the Magnus archives is through like one hermitcraft fic (can't remember the name, but it was really good) and some fanart. But i do understand the premise of it, and it think it's neat)

There's a whole lot to explain about the au, and honestly i don't know where to begin with trying to describe the world building i've done, but basically, there are "Anomalies" things, people, animals, places, concepts, events, ect, that don't follow what the humans think are "the rules" of their reality.

Most people never experience anomalies. They are everywhere, but most of the time, unless you know what you're looking for (and few ever do), you would never know.

For those that do experience the anomalies, they are likely to continue experiencing anomalies throughout their lives. Like attracts like, and all that. The more you experience anomalies, the more you experience anomalies.

This is a hetalia au, because i like to sift literally everything through the hetalia filter

(I think I'll call the au Phantom's Archive, because why not?)

Nations do count as anomalies, but they don't know that. That does make them more likely to encounter other anomalies though.

The story will be written in entries, kinda similar to the inspiration, obviously I'm not gonna be doing audio entries, so they'll be written out. I would like to note that there are going to be a few different "authors" for different entries, though I won't explicitly say who's writing what, so hopefully you guys will be able to tell at least when it's a different person writing. (The main writer (for now) is Francis, or the personification of France, I prefer using their human names)

While similar to the magnus archives in appearance, the lore of the world, the creatures in it, and the powers at play are all made up by me, anything that happens to be literally exactly like the magnus archives is purely coincidence, because again, i haven't actually listened to the podcast beyond like 7 mins of the first episode. (Obviously i do not own any of the hetalia characters, and i don't own the concepts of a lot of what goes on in this au, and I have nothing to do with the Magnus archives)

Warnings for a hecking lot of different things. This au deals with body horror, cosmic horror, eldritch horror, gore, loss of identity, bugs, themes of insanity, questioning reality, unreliable narrators, loss of self, and other things that I'll warn you about when they show up.

Remember; Always take what people say with a grain of salt. You can never really know the true story without experiencing it firsthand. And memories tend to be tricky things.

(Also the entries aren't always in chronological order)

Now that all of the introductions and stuff are out of the way, here are the warnings specifically for this entry:

None :) it's short though

Without further ado: the first entry of the au ;)

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Entry 76: The disappearing boy

I have recently found myself with a charge. A little boy I've taken to calling Matthieu. He's cute, and very quiet. Shy. I don't blame him. His land is full of very strange things.

Although I've been referring to these... things as monsters, I may have to reconsider. Recently, I've experienced some rather strange events that I can only really refer to as anomalous in nature. Supernatural, even. Perhaps I should just call them Anomalies? That would better encompass what these things are.

My newest charge is one of them. Or at least, I believe he is.

It was easy to write it off as coincidence, at first. Matthieu is a very shy boy, and he likes to hide from me. I don't blame him. From what Arthur told me, his mother had died recently. It has to be hard for the boy. For both of them. And to be stuck with a stranger too, after that? I wouldn't want to talk to me either.

But then... strange things started to happen. Or, well, I can write them off as coincidences, but I know better by now.

Matthieu is good at hiding. Very good. If he does not want to be found, I won't find him. That in itself is quite strange. I'm usually decent enough at finding things. And after searching every possible hiding place multiple times over, I should have been able to find him, at least once. He's just a kid, after all. But it's like he drops out of existence.

There are other things too. Sometimes I can hear footsteps around the house. Or things will go missing, or I will set something down, and it will be moved, or gone, when I turn around. Sometimes I see cupboards open on their own, or windows, or doors. This stuff only happens when I cannot find Matthieu. I suspect he may be able to somehow make himself invisible.

Recently, I've taken to setting up a chair, turning my back to it, and playing my Viola. Matthieu seems to like it. And always, without fail, when I finish playing and turn around again, Matthieu is sitting in the chair. I am not entirely sure if he has complete control over his disappearing thing. I don't even know for sure what it is that he does.

Other than this, he seems to be a normal boy. Or as normal as nations get. I don't see any reason to worry, other than his hiding. But he's getting better about that. More comfortable with me, I hope.

I... don't want to look into this case. I fear if I do, I may find something that I don't like. I don't want to have to kill this boy. I know I should look more into it. I know it could be dangerous. But he is so small, and I'm working so hard to gain his trust. I cannot bear the thought of having to put him down for such an inconsequential thing as hiding too well. The old ways just aren't right for demanding that of hunters.

The world is changing, maybe it's time we change too.

[beastsovrevelation]

It seems... I have the skeletons for 3 of my Good Omens WIPs (Ch1, and, it's really 4, as one's two different timelines of the same story developed in seperate works). I've been picking at something I decided will be an oneshot, too.

...Yes, it's smut.

As always, I wish I was closer to the finish line, but progress is progress. 😊

One'd say Pestilence, that's it, work on these. But, I'm also too excited to write the Fem!Lucifer x Crowley thing, and a Fem!Crowley x Michael story that doesn't involve the pregnancy by Aziraphale (I have notes for several, but I think I'll stick to one).

...

What? You're asking whether I'm trying to become the ✨Stephen King of fanfiction✨? Why, 💫maybe💫.

In this one, Crowley really goes "now that the Antichrist's grown, and doesn't need mommy holding her hand anymore, I can finally step up as the Queen of Hell". Hun... The Antichrist is 27. You should've backed off years ago. 🤣 But, of course Mama Snake will suffocate the Beast of Rev. until she's 30, because she's avoiding Hell, and dreading the notion of her baby growing up (despite her being at university at 16).

Crowley's Worried™, really...

Yes, by the way, Lucifer usually walks with a cane, because the Fall fucked up his knee.

[see-arcane]

Our good friend Jonathan Harker is getting ready to leave for his business trip, Mina Murray is picking out a new journal, Lucy Westenra is charming a gaggle of smitten suitors, Abraham van Helsing is wrapping up his lectures, and Castle Dracula is prepping the guest room for a very long stay.

Which must mean that Dracula Season is here again!

 ‘Dracula Season’ being a catchall term for the voracious reading, memeing, writing, illustrating, analyzing, and general fun-having that’s ensued since Matt Kirkland’s project, Dracula Daily, caught on with us back in 2022. The Substack had already been running before then, but it sparked a conflagration as time went on and readers old and new to Bram Stoker’s Dracula—the actual novel, not Coppola’s fanfiction—devoured it in a way that scratched an itch none of us knew we had. Stoker wrote the book in epistolary fashion, clumping sections together as needed for the pacing without perfect adherence to chronological order. Matt went ahead and put all the events in order and proceeded to set up a lovely chain of emails that delivered entries on those correlating dates.

This style of organization and pacing turned out to not only make the virtual book club that much easier to engage with, but left space in-between to stew on the story and relate with the characters themselves. Every day of waiting in the book feels weightier when you have to pace and sweat and worry in tandem with poor Jonathan trapped in the castle or Lucy wasting away or Mina running out the clock before she loses the fight for her own humanity. And while we sat with the story or the lulls between Dracula Seasons, some of us found ourselves craving more of that ghastly gothic horror goodness to the point that we figured:

“Well. Why don’t I make something?”

And then we did! Tons of creative works have been churned out in the wake of Dracula Daily’s high. I figured that while we’ve still got a bit of time to wait for May 3rd, we should check out all this new stuff in the meantime. (Plus a handful of neat stuff that just clicks with the Dracula itch overall.)

So, in the interest of Dracula Season pregaming, let’s take a look at…

FICTION

Blood of My Blood – A recent addition to the Dracula Bad Ending AU pile, and definitely one of the most harrowing and addictive group-produced narratives I’ve ever come across, Blood of My Blood is the dramatically gothic currently-WIP work of @ibrithir-was-here and @animate-mush’s devious design. Give or take a heap of other fascinated folks (hello!) adding ideas to put more Horror into the Horrors that our cast has to face. The premise:

The Transylvanian climax went fatally sour and the Harkers were forced to shelter with Dracula himself, including their half-vampire son, Quincey. Cut to two decades later, and Quincey finds himself out in modern London, smitten with Lu, adopted daughter of Arthur and Jack, and diving into certain bloodstained old documents that detail the real history of how his parents came to live in the castle. Said revelations coming not a moment too soon, as a storm is coming for him straight from the Carpathians…

Dracula Daily Sketch Collection – An array of illustrations that captures every entry beat by beat, the Dracula Daily Sketch Collection by Georgia Cook, alias @georgiacooked was dished out over the course of the last Dracula Season. Some of the most fun character designs out there.

Fanfiction Spotlight: BlueCatWriter – With a whopping 99 works devoted to the novel Dracula (so far, the number may have gone up since I blinked), @bluecatwriter is one of the most prolific and talented fanfiction scribblers out there. Romances, nightmares, and overlaps between the two seem to crop up the most, give or take a crossover. Seems fitting that those blue paw prints have contributed to BoMB too.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk – An ongoing comic in which all your favorite characters from the Classics section get together and tackle some perils ranging from the mundane to the monstrous. Started by the amazing @mayhemchicken and posted on @lxgentlefolkcomic, this series is a love letter to beloved Victorian era lit, with a spotlight on the two couples leading the League. Namely, the Harkers, ala Dracula, and the Nortons, ala Sherlock Holmes,’ “A Scandal in Bohemia.” Mina and Irene are the driving investigative and steering forces here, and still deeply in love with their likewise-infatuated husbands, just like in their canons! What a concept! Alan.

Without spoiling the full character list, just know there are going to be a ton of familiar faces roaming around before you finish reading the first arc. Said arc having conveniently wrapped up just a few days ago! Give the comic and its bonus silliness a look if you’re in the mood for a new comfort-adventure epic.

Re: Dracula – Probably the most well-known and incredible thing to come out of the initial Dracula Daily wave. This podcast is a full audio drama that follows the same format as the Substack, with episodes coming out in time with the entries themselves. And it has an unfairly cool soundtrack. They have a Tumblr with @re-dracula, a site and a Patreon to check out before the series kicks up again on May 3rd. (Also, keep an eye out for their next work, an audio drama in the same style with Carmilla.)

The Soldier and the Solicitor – Another treat from @ibrithir-was-here, this one involves a bit of time travel trouble. Quincey Harker has stumbled out of World War I and into the same dark forest where his father once fled for his life…then runs into the man himself, on that same night. Jonathan Harker, young and starved and lost, who has no choice but to trust this stranger while the Weird Sisters are at his heels…despite said stranger having no shadow. It’s a tasty emotional trek, already complete on Tumblr, but now it’s turning into a Webtoon. While Ibrithir is juggling a number of other stories, she’ll be redrawing spruced up versions of the comic and adding a few new scenes as things unfold.

Substack Stack – You know what’s better than one emailed-out public domain book club? A mountain of them. Just. So, so many of them. You’ll see that a lot of these are finished, but some are still ticking along. Either way, they’re all great picks if you’re craving some more old school lit to fill the void between undead emails.

Frankenstein Weekly – Frankenstein

Jekyll and Hyde Weekly – The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Voyage of the Nautilus – Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

Letters from Watson – Sherlock Holmes

The Invisible Mail – The Invisible Man

Letters from Bunny – E.W. Hornung’s short stories of the eponymous Bunny and Raffles

Letters Regarding Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster short stories, including the novel, Right Ho, Jeeves

…

……

………

…The Beetle Weekly – The Beetle (NOTE: Do Not Read This.)

The Vampyres – A novella I finally wrenched through the gears of self-publication as of March this year. Starring a petite but powerful paranormal cast, The Vampyres, centers on an unscrupulous undead fellow who finds that the revenants of the world are being mowed down by an entity known only as ‘Quinn Morse.’ Between trying to save his neck and figure out where the shadowy bastard came from, the Vampyre in question crosses paths with a new paramour and handy human shield in the form of a grieving Good Samaritan. He’s even polite enough to invite the Vampyre into his home while he’s in dire straits! Surely this will end well. All the info is available here and a little author site is over here.

What Manner of Man – This is the one made for everyone who started out hoping there’d be a real love story with our good friend Jonathan Harker and the Count when he was at his most charismatic. Where that sea of wonders dried up into a mire of horror, What Manner of Man by @stjohnstarling keeps things firmly on the romantic tracks. This Substack stars the letter-writing priest Father Victor E. Ardelian as he finds himself meeting with one enigmatic Lord Alistair Vane. It isn’t long before interest turns into intrigue and intrigue into undead intimacies.

The entire novel has been completed—along with multiple epilogues in the author’s Patreon, allowing readers to choose for themselves just how the uncanny romance plays out in the end—and the Substack now has a number of other gothic goodies piling up in the meantime.  

NONFICTION

Dracula Daily: A Unique Reading Experience: This one comes courtesy of @realwomenofgaming. It’s a short and sweet piece that amounts to a fun snapshot of the entire Dracula Daily ride. A cozy couple-minute read.

‘Dracula Daily’ is the One Substack You Need a Subscription To: Features my favorite Matt Kirkland interview. @mattkirkland, if you’re still floating around on here, thank you for dispatching our vampire newsletter again this year.

Dracula Daily is Tumblr’s hottest new book club: Alright, the ‘new’ part is worn out by now, but this one is still a delightful article to swing back around to. Two years on, this Polygon piece is a time capsule of those early months when people outside our bookworm bubble realized we were all happily receiving letters from our favorite classic gothic horror blorbos.  

“How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” – Princess Weekes, if you ever read this, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am sending oceans of love and millions of rewatches to your video essay. If you haven’t seen it yet, “How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” is one of the most refreshing and well-made breakdowns of both the title subject and numerous other issues that have proliferated in the public view of Dracula’s cast and plot as adaptations endlessly warp or outright bastardize the actual novel. An incredibly cathartic watch.  

Literary play gone viral: delight, intertextuality, and challenges to normative interpretations through the digital serialization of Dracula: A mouthful of a title for an even more elaborate article about the Dracula Daily phenomenon. This one is a full-on study that analyzes just what happened within the big bloodsucker book club surge and how its ‘wandering reading practices’ enriched the experience for participants.

 “The Undying Undead: An analysis of the Dracula Daily community for a theory of online community formation and interaction” – We have a thesis on here! Look at that! @sirangelothebestest’s MA thesis used our vampiric book club as the bones for a massive brick of an academic piece that definitely deserves a look.

…And I think I’ll go ahead and cap things here.

This isn’t everything I got recommended, but if I had squashed all of it in here, I think folks’ eyes would start to fall out of their head. I hope you can find something cool to comb through here. Or, if there’s something great I overlooked, tack it onto the list! We’ve got just two weeks to go until we’re off with Mr. Harker. Let’s enjoy our respite before those castle doors close behind us.

[luna-azzurra]

Some tips to help you improve your writing style:

1. Read widely: Reading a variety of genres and authors exposes you to different writing styles and helps you develop a broader vocabulary and an understanding of various sentence structures. For example, if you want to improve your descriptive writing, read books by authors known for their vivid imagery like J.R.R. Tolkien or Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

2. Write regularly: Like any skill, writing improves with practice. Set aside dedicated time for writing, whether it's a journal entry, a short story, or an essay. Consistency is key. By writing regularly, you'll become more comfortable expressing your ideas and develop your unique voice.

3. Be mindful of your audience: Tailor your writing style to suit your target audience. Consider their level of familiarity with the subject matter, their interests, and their expectations. For instance, if you're writing a scientific paper for experts in the field, use technical language and provide in-depth analysis. On the other hand, if you're writing a blog post for a general audience, use accessible language and relatable examples.

4. Use active voice and strong verbs: Active voice makes your writing more direct and engaging. It emphasizes the subject performing the action rather than the action itself. For example, instead of saying "The ball was thrown by John," use "John threw the ball." Strong verbs also add clarity and power to your writing. Compare "He walked slowly" with "He sauntered" or "He ambled."

5. Vary sentence structure: Experiment with different sentence lengths and structures to maintain reader interest. A mix of short, medium, and long sentences can create rhythm and flow. For example, a series of short, punchy sentences can build tension or convey urgency, while longer sentences can provide detailed explanations or set a contemplative tone.

6. Use precise and vivid language: Choose words that convey your meaning precisely and evoke vivid imagery. Instead of saying "The flower looked pretty," you could say "The delicate blossom bloomed in vibrant shades of crimson and gold." Specific and descriptive language brings your writing to life and engages the reader's senses.

7. Edit and revise: Good writing often requires multiple rounds of editing. After you finish a draft, take the time to review and revise your work. Look for clarity, coherence, and grammar errors. Consider whether each sentence contributes to the overall message and whether the organization of your ideas flows logically. Don't be afraid to make significant changes if they improve your writing.

8. Seek feedback: Share your work with trusted friends, colleagues, or writing groups. Constructive feedback can help you identify blind spots and areas for improvement. Consider their suggestions while maintaining your unique voice and style.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi! Could you talk more about "character development exercises", please?:]

Character Development Exercises

Character development exercises are writing exercises you can do to help you explore and develop your characters. This isn't a required part of writing or character development, but many writers find it helpful. Here are some that I like to do when I'm struggling to get to know a character:

Character Interview - imagine that you’ve pulled your character out of a story into the room and now have the opportunity to interview them. What questions would you ask them? What do you want to know about them that you don’t already know? What do you think the reader would want to know? What might be pertinent to the story that you haven’t thought about yet?

TV Crew follow around - Imagine you’ve dropped an invisible TV crew into your story’s world to follow your character around through an average day (even if it's anachronistic). Follow them from the moment they wake up until the moment they go to bed that night. What are they like when they wake up? What is their morning routine? What do they eat for breakfast? How do they get ready? What do they do throughout the day? Who do they interact with? What else do they eat and drink? What do they do for fun or relaxation? How to they make money or meet their basic needs? What is their bedtime routine like?

Letters or Journal Entries - Look at your character's back story, off-screen events, etc. and find something for your character to write about in a journal entry or a letter to another character. What would they say about this event? How does it make them feel? What do they think about it?

Use Your Character in a Writing Prompt - Look at some writing prompts and do one using your character as the main character. You can keep it within your story's world or plop them into a whole different world. Whatever works for you and your story. This is about getting to know this character in a different context than the events of your story provides.

Create a Character Mood Board/Aesthetic - Mood boards go a long way in mentally fleshing out a character for me. Being able to have a visual representation of their style, their vibe, things that are important to them, etc. really turns them into real people in my mind.

Create a Playlist for Your Character - I think playlists can also be a really great way to mentally flesh out a character in your mind. Sometimes, just having a particular song or a playlist of songs that makes you think of them gives them some dimension they wouldn't otherwise have.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[felassan]

New BioWare journal entry:

"Journal #8 Exploration Across Thedas A look into how Rook will discover the world Hello everyone, Today, we’re back to share more about the world of Dragon Age: The Veilguard (minor spoilers below). While the game is a crafted experience telling a rich narrative, there are many areas to explore. The Lighthouse, for example, is a central place for Rook to rest, spend time with Companions, and learn more about the world through conversation. The Crossroads allow the Veilguard to traverse Thedas in seconds, connecting the Lighthouse to more of the world than ever before.  Throughout the story, you will go through many diverse areas, from the beauty of the lush Arlathan Forests to the busy streets of Minrathous. Veterans of the series have heard whispers in the past about each of these places in Thedas, but now you will actually be able to explore and experience them in-game. Each area has its own unique feel and style. There are several areas for exploration; each inviting you to delve deeper into the narrative and uncover the many mysteries Thedas holds. Check out a few of them here: Arlathan Forest – Ancient magic and powerful artifacts re-awaken and reality thins across the woodlands that once held the heart of the Elvhen empire. The Veil Jumpers, masters of ancient elven magic, seek to stabilize the region and keep reality from crumbling. Hossberg Wetlands – Much of this once-peaceful marshland has been consumed by the Blight. Darkspawn roam the swamps with impunity, but the Grey Wardens mount a valiant defense of the last safe haven – Lavendel. Minrathous – Capital of the Tevinter Imperium, the Venatori wield corruption as they try to turn the Empire’s heart to their own dark purposes. Yet the people resist, with the rebel Shadow Dragons leading the charge. Rivain – An ancient Grey Warden fortress sits among sparkling waters and lush greenery of the Rivain Coast; the Lords of Fortune call this paradise home. The servants of the gods have their own plans, however, and threaten to turn this sanctuary into a battlefield. Treviso – A merchant city known for the beauty of its canals – and the deadliness of its assassins – Treviso is under Antaam occupation, a state of affairs that sits poorly with the Antivan Crows.

WHAT'S THERE TO FIND? While exploring the world, the Veilguard will come across many things to do and people to talk to. Of course, there will be loot to upgrade your equipment but there will also be puzzles and lore! There will be ancient statues, letters, and artifacts left behind to read and collect those Codex Entries. There are also new modes of transportation to find throughout the world, including fast travel.  There will be new ways for your Companions to interact with the world as well, with specific exploration abilities. For example, you may come across some ancient Elven artifacts for Bellara to Tinker with while you wander through Arlathan. Even when the Companions are back at the Lighthouse, Rook can use the Lyrium Dagger to take advantage of their Exploration Abilities. You may also spot Companions out and about, interacting with the world on their own. When heading to Treviso, we recommend finding Lucanis and enjoying a cup of coffee together.

THE LIGHTHOUSE The Lighthouse will serve as your new home during Dragon Age: The Veilguard. Each companion will have their own room, for them to decorate to their own taste. Their rooms will progress over the course of the story, and it will also be the main location for one-on-one chats with them. Rook will have a room of their own, as well! Lastly, you will find the Caretaker’s Workshop here, where items can be upgraded and enchanted.

THE CROSSROADS From the home base of the Lighthouse, you will be able to access The Crossroads, a meeting place of many Eluvians. This area will serve as the main connection from the Lighthouse to the rest of Thedas, as well as lead to a lot of side content. The Caretaker will act as a guide throughout this area, ferrying the party to different islands in the Fade. Additionally, there will be more puzzles to solve in this area and even some extra missions, but we’ll leave those shrouded in mystery to discover on your own. We recently held our in-person Preview Event with Content Creators and Press, so keep your eyes out for interviews and coverage in the coming weeks. While you’re waiting, don’t forget to check out our podcast Dragon Age: Vows & Vengeance. Chat soon!             — The Dragon Age Community Team"

[source]

[yetanotherhiddlestoner]

Summary ~ Daryl finds a journal on a supply run and reads it, what will happen when he sees the world through someone else's perspective?  Set in the commonwealth, straying a little from TWD timeline, but hey that the fun thing about fanfics right?

Daryl X Y/N. Words ~ 2449. Warnings ~ None (Photo found on Pinterest) Also I am trying to update I fell hard, you'll fall harder but it wont let me post it :(

The Entries Chapter 1

Daryl wasn't a man who just picked up a book to read it, not these days at least, if he found books for the kids then he would grab it and give it to them, he tries to recall the last time he actually read a book, but while he was looking for supplies, Daryl found a diary, the front looking worse for wear and covered in pink glittery stickers, something that reminded him of Princess and her style, Daryl's curiosity got the better of him and so and he opened it and read the first page. It read.

Entry one~

"This may very well be the last chance that I have to write, my family told me I should be a writer, I guess this is my last chance to ever get a book out there, but if anyone ever reads it, I hope you find comfort within the pages of this journal. My name is Y/N and this is the story about how I survived the apocalypse, or didn't I might be gone by now, in that case if would be a memoir right?"

Daryl shuts the book, placing it in his bag, he goes around gathering what supplies he can find before finally placing his bag on his back, starting up his bike and speeding back to the Commonwealth. Today was a good day for the supply run, he was able to find some medication for the community, canned food and some clothing for the small kids. That night as he lay in bed, he digs into his bag finding the journal, he starts reading it again.  

Entry two~

"I was born in 1989, 21 when the dead started attacking us, currently 26-27 years old although I have no idea if that is even right, I am just guessing the days and months at this point in this world, and I don't know how much time it has been if someone is reading this anyway back to my life story. My mother and father married at a young age, or at least young for them, they had just turned 20, been high school sweethearts, the whole Prom king and queen story line expect this was real life. It didn't take them long to start a family. My brother aka the eldest was born when my mother was 22, then another 2 years later came my other brother, the annoying middle child and then myself with a nice 5-year gap between myself and my second eldest brother."

Daryl flips the page to a collage of photos, ripped or cut to fit onto the pages. In the middle was one clearly done by a professional photographer, you are all sitting on the ground, smiling while looking at the lens, each person has their name on the photo, he looks at you in the photo. front and center, sighing at how happy you looked. Then in the corner is a photo of your parents on their wedding day, followed by photos of each child not long after they were born

"The day the world fell, I can't even remember the date, I was meant to be going to work, but my mother called me and begged for me to stay home, she begged for all of us to stay in our home, she told us all about the videos of people being shot down and them coming back and attacking people, I heard the terror in her voice, my brothers thought she was worrying for no reason, so they left for work. I tried to stop them, but they just wouldn't listen. I watched them walk out that door, hop in their cars and drive away, fearful that they wouldn't come back. I rang my friends, we chatted for a while, scared. We had planned on hanging at mine in the coming days, thinking this was just a temporary thing and that it would be fine within a week. How naive I was thinking the police and the government were going to be protect us.  I was very wrong. I watched as some of my neighbors left, cars packed up, houses left unlocked, pets left to fend for themselves. The street felt quiet, usually the kids would be playing in their lawns, coming home from school talking to their friends, or riding their bikes, now those things were left discarded. I watched the news, it only made my paranoia worse, watching them shoot down what I thought were innocent people at the time, the screams I could hear outside my door had me on high alert. My father never came home that night. He was away on business, he was meant to be coming home that day, I can only assume he is now dead. When my mother came home, she rushed us to get all the supplies and weapons we had, mostly kitchen knives, loaded them into the car, we waited for my father, constantly calling his cell phone and workmates but no-one answered, the longer we waited, the worse it got. During the night, I heard screams from down the street, saw neighbors running for their lives getting attacked, the screams as their friends chewed into their flesh, and then coming back. That night my family and I hid upstairs in one room, no lights, no noises nothing just praying we would make it through. 

Sunrise came and with it did us leaving our family home, the concrete covered in blood splatters, the groans of the dead coming out of the yards towards us, as I hopped into the car I gave the house one last look the one that I was born and raised in. In that moment the life I had known was gone. I have no idea if my friends were alive and if they are I hope they are well. That night, we tried sleeping in our car, taking turns at driving out of the city and further in land, my mother says we would be safe, away from the ones who can kill us. I doubted it though. We could see the cities being bombed from our car, the flame lighting up the horizon."

Daryl flips the page. His fingers glide over the page of photos once more, he notices that is your style, you write and then you put photos. He likes it, he likes that you are a real person, that had a real life, real friends.  Entry three~ "We drove for what feels like days, we pass the undead, we even ignore the hitchhikers, we can't risk taking on the wrong people my brother says. I've seen children biters, that is what we have come to call them, it breaks my heart. I had always wanted to be a mother but now I don't see kids in my life, not if my life is constantly running from the undead or living in fear."

Daryl keeps reading, finding himself more intrigued with each line. Another page, another photo of you and your friends, of you and a dog, he can assume might be a pet of yours once. You started drawing things you have seen on your travels; he takes in the details of each piece of art. You have a knack for art, a lot better then himself he tells himself. Another glimpse into your life. Another thing her learnt about you.

Entry four~ "The days pass in a blur now, it's been months since shit hit the fan. I think it might be coming up to winter, the air is cooler, a nice bite to it at night. I lost my brother to a biter; he was out trying to find more supplies when the dead came out of nowhere, he tried to fight them off. He managed to get away and spend his last few moments with us, his body bloodied and bitten. I watched as he turned, his eyes glossing over, the snapping of his teeth as he reached out for our mother who was crying for him to stop, I didn't think I just acted, my knife plunging into his skull, he was my first biter I had to put down, we buried him in a field under a tree. Our mother hasn't been the same since, she barely says a word these days. We lost our car, ran outta petrol, lost most of our things, I managed to save the one thing I need in my life, my photos, my memories in the one bag I don't ever want to lose" At the bottom of the page is a Polaroid of yourself."

Daryl notices the tally on the bottom of the page. Later on in the journal he would see the numbers go up each time, you didn't write about them but you kept track.

Biter - 1 Human-0 Animals -2

And then a photo of the makeshift grave you buried your brother in. His date of birth and just the year 2010 at the end.  "I know it may seem silly to whoever is reading this but as long as I got a camera, batteries and film, I'll keep taking photos, documenting what I survive through, until I can no longer find the supplies. I'll keep doing this until I am no longer able to. It is the only thing that makes me sane, it makes this world feel to real"

Entry five~ "I know death comes to all, but I didn't think my own mother would end it herself. I should have seen the signs, she stopped eating, stopped speaking, stopped living, day by day the life drained from her eyes, I think ever since we left, each day has made her realize that things were not going to get better. My brother and I buried her as best we could then we headed back out into the world, on foot for miles, tonight our home is a service station, not really safe, we are holed up in office, being as quiet as possible, we have raided the shelves for food and water, if we lucky we might get another day to rest here and then we will keep moving. I doubt we will make it to the mountains, it is too far to travel by foot."

He sees the cut-out photo of you and your mother, noting how much you look like her, you have her hair and facial features. His fingers move over the photo, he feels sorry for you, he knows how to feel to lose a loved one. You look so happy in this photo, the world can be cruel.

Entry six~ "I tried, I tried so hard to stop him, I screamed at him, begged him. But he didn't listen. Now I am all alone in the world I wasn't born for. My brother, the eldest, always looking out for me, we got stuck in a rundown house, he used himself as a diversion. He screamed at me to run, to get out. I grabbed my bag and ran, the last thing I saw as I turned back was him being over ran by them and screaming for to keep running, don't look back and that he loved me. My brother was a person who rarely said the L word, so hearing his last words as that made me run harder, until my chest burned. I have found a small tree house in the woods, I am guessing it was a child's secret hideaway, built by their parent's or at least that is what I am telling myself while I cry for the lost of my family, for tonight it is my sanctuary.  I have no idea how I am going to live alone; do I find a group? Do I try to live alone? I am scared, I haven't felt like this since day one. I have no idea what tomorrow brings, I have limited water, limited food and a couple weapons." Daryl continues reading the journal well into the night, when he glances at the clock its almost 2am in the morning, he decides to close the journal for the night, placing it on his nightstand. 

When he picks up the journal again, he can't believe how much he has read in a short time.

Entry 17~ "Found a library today, took out the undead inside, found a book on edible foods in the wild and how to survive out here. I am hoping they come in handy as my rations are almost out, also found a book to keep me entertained."

Biter-16 Human -2 Animal-8 Entry 18~ "I miss them." Daryl reads those three little words and feels a pang in his heart.

Entry 19~ "Today I snapped. A biter came out from behind a corner and in a second, I saw my life just die away. I beat that thing into a bloody pulp, smashing its head over and over, while tears formed into my eyes. Am I losing what little humanity I have left? Is being alone making me into an animal?"

Daryl grimaces at the photo of the now dead walker that you took. He wonders why you took that? Why would you want a photo of something that broke you? He has had his fair share of kills, yet he never truly wants to remember them.

Entry 20~ "Found a creek near the road I was walking, I have learnt how to filter dirty water, at least I have something to drink now, I just need to find food and a place to rest for the night. I have no idea really which direction I am going; I have to learn all this now."

Biter-36 Human -2 Animal-14

Entry 21~ "I am nearing the end of the book, the pages filled with the stories I have written, photos I have taken, I have truly lost track of time, the days, the months everything is mashed into one big never-ending nightmare. I fight for my life daily, it is exhausting. I think my next stop for me is the next town 30 miles away. For now I leave this journal here, for anyone, if there is anyone left out there that is. Please take care of my photos, my life story, it may not be anything these days."  The last words written hurts Daryl a little. "I truly don't want to die. But I don't know if I am strong enough to live."

And your signature style is a photo of you, he guessing you took it the day you finished the journal, you look sad, alone. He just wanted to hug you and tell you it's going to be alright.

[bookished]

Staying motivated and continuing to work on your story, even when you're not actively writing, can be challenging but essential for your creative process. Here are some tips to help you stay engaged with your story:

Remember Your Why: Reflect on why you started writing this story in the first place. Reconnect with your passion and purpose.

Set Clear Goals: Define specific goals and milestones for your story. Knowing where you're headed and what you want to achieve can help maintain your motivation.

Visualize Your Story: Create visual aids like character mood boards or plot diagrams. Visualizing your story can make it feel more real and inspire creativity.

Create Character Playlists: Develop playlists of songs that evoke the emotions and personalities of your characters. Listening to these playlists can immerse you in your story world.

Explore Backstories: Dive into your characters' pasts. Writing short stories or character profiles can deepen your understanding of their motivations and add depth to your narrative.

Experiment with Prompts: Use writing prompts unrelated to your story to keep your creativity flowing. You might stumble upon ideas that you can incorporate into your narrative.

Write Out of Order: Don't feel constrained to write your story sequentially. If you're excited about a particular scene or chapter, go ahead and write it. You can connect the pieces later.

Keep an Idea File: Maintain a digital or physical file where you store story ideas, quotes, and images that inspire you. Reviewing these can reignite your creativity.

Write Letters from Characters: Compose letters or journal entries from the perspective of your characters. It can help you explore their voices and viewpoints.

Reward Creativity: Treat yourself when you achieve creative breakthroughs. Acknowledging your achievements can reinforce your dedication to your story.

Remember that every writer's journey is unique, so don't be discouraged by occasional dips in motivation. Embrace these strategies and tailor them to fit your writing style and preferences. Most importantly, enjoy the process of storytelling, and your enthusiasm will naturally shine through in your work.

Did you find this useful? Please, consider sending me feedback or buying me a coffee. If you would like to request something (either advice or a piece of a story) for me to write it, go and message me. Also, if you'd like, you can check my masterlist. Happy writing!

[necrodette]

TomeWeave art by the absolutely incredible @nikoadmeliora! Go check out their art!

While I'm currently working on the fanfiction of Odette's story pre-BG3 (which leads into the game's events), I had some brainworms that I wanted to sprinkle to my fellow Galemancers out there.

Brace thyselves for a very long, very random assortment of lore and romance between my Tav, Odette Tavelyen, and Gale Dekarios (lovingly referred to as TomeWeave).

Spoilers & personal headcanons for BG3 romance with Gale below!

◇ While Odette was attracted to Gale initially, she misunderstood his attempts to prove his worth/value to the party as him being another pompous wizard, and worried that he may be too fond of his own voice without the true mastery of the Weave to validate his claims (since his magic was a bit unpredictable at times with the orb acting up).

◇ Due to this ignorant misconception, Odette was sometimes annoyed by Gale's remarks (like when he's publicly describing his previous relationship with Mystra or when he's unintentionally overly thorough instructing a fellow wizard about the Weave). She was never mean or cruel because that isn't in her nature, but she would certainly be on edge around him or would reply with a witty retort or two.

◇This changes during the Act 1 romance scene. In my headcanon, it happens the night that the party frees the Emerald Grove and there is a celebration in camp all night. After Odette gives an awkward speech to the group (she's a librarian, not accustomed to being the motivational hero of the day) and makes her rounds through the party, Gale gives her a gift: one of a pair of identical blue journals (picked up from the vendor in the Grove). Gale and Odette bespell the journals to communicate with one another, channeling their magics together and connecting through the Weave. It is intimate, honest, unsuspecting. She feels the warmth of his affections for her and she realizes that she had been misjudging his actions.

And yes, the other party members will write in the journals from time to time, and yesssss I spent too much time picking handwriting style fonts for every party member

◇ Before Gale reveals his surname in Act 3, Odette makes a game out of trying to guess it. She'll think of some random noble family or one she'd guessed based on historical names in the region and ask him - sometimes in the most inopportune of times, such as mid-combat or when they're trying to go to sleep.

◇ Odette actually met Tara well before Act 3. She didn't understand the connection to Gale at the time and wouldn't for a while, but...this requires context, so bear with me:

◇ As an Avowed Adjutant in Candlekeep Library (pre-BG3 game events), Odette was often working with Seekers of knowledge who came to the library offering their price of admission: an original work that doesn't already exist within Candlekeep's walls. If their submitted work was not accepted, they could not gain entry within the library and would be turned away.

◇ For years, Gale had requested entry to Candlekeep through submissions of his own poetry and journals, thinking that his experiences as Mystra's Chosen would elevate his works and would certainly be accepted. But they weren't, because works of Elminster's personal accounts already existed in the library that were too similar to Gale's, and so Gale was turned away multiple times (mostly via letters, since it is quite the long trip from Waterdeep to Candlekeep).

◇ But after he was cast out of Mystra's favor and corrupted by the Netherese Orb, Tara took matters into her own paws. She was determined to find a solution to Gale's predicament with the orb, so she took a collection of the recent works he'd made in his grief and regret - mournful musings of a man utterly abandoned by his former lover, his goddess, and the knowledge of his impending doom as penalty for his hubris. Finally, his (unknowing) acceptance to the library (through Tara) was obtained.

◇ It's a temporary acceptance into the library (five days instead of the normal tenday) by offering Gale's journals anonymously and also with the condition that the original work could not be submitted: the Scribes of Candlekeep would need to copy the journals contents while she was there, but had to take it back with her. This condition was accepted!

◇ Odette was elected to assist Tara with her research, which included many sleepless nights of intense research and several early morning teas together. During the five days that Tara was allowed entry, Tara only ever referred to Gale as her esteemed friend or dearest colleague, so Odette never knew who Gale was before meeting him post-tadpoling.

◇ And it was during Tara's last day that she discovered how to temporarily appease the orb via intermittent Weave consumption. She hurriedly said her goodbyes and left the library to tend to personal matters. Odette was a little sad to see her go as Tara's company was quite comfortable and very entertaining.

◇ In Act 1, when Gale (gets on one knee like a gentlemen omg??) opens his mind to Odette to show her truth about the Netherese Orb in his chest, she realizes that the "cat" he's mistakenly mentioned (he's also said 'tressym' before, too, so Odette actually spends a while thinking he had both) before must have been Tara.

◇ Odette doesn't tell him that she knew out of fear that he would be upset that Tara had taken his most personal thoughts and feelings (in the journals she used to gain entry to the library) without his consent (plus, it helped him in the end anyway, right?) And, as a follower of Deneir, once she's confided in, she is sworn to uphold the secrecy to avoid her God's wrath.

◇ So in Act 3, when the party happens upon Tara on the roof of the Temple of Ilmater, not only does Tara already know and has a warm relationship with her, but she also makes Odette lose "the game" of guessing Gale's surname!

[witchygirlgray333]

Some journal prompts I like (writing and creative) :

I’m going to do a separate list for some chronic illness journal ideas bc I’ve found it’s so helpful!

Write out the lyrics to your favourite song and/or do a drawing / painting / collage of your interpretation of the song

Books you want to read

Films you want to watch

Diary entry about your day

Bujo style - plan out your week or month

Pressed flowers

Scripting (manifestation)

Vision board (manifestation)

Notes on a topic you’re learning about (for example I like to watch lots of nature or history documentaries and sometimes I make notes on them in my journal or if it’s witchy stuff I write it in my grimoire)

Letter to past you / future you / someone in your life (remember they don’t have to read it, this has helped me so much in certain situations so I can get out whatever I want to say without upsetting people) / someone you love who has passed on / the god or deity you worship if you worship one / to your future children / future partner

Wishlist

Ideas for things (like stories you want to write, photo shoots, fashion, films, art etc)

Poetry (either that you’ve written or that someone else has written that you like)

Get to know me page so if you want to look back on your journal in the future you can see what you were like then

Films you’ve watched / books you’ve read / favourite songs from the past month

Positive affirmations

Shadow work

Sticker / photo dump

Recipes

Go sit in nature and draw or write about what you see or feel when you’re there

Draw out your alter ego

Stick in scraps from throughout your day (such as receipts, labels from things, stickers, pictures etc)

Book reviews

To do lists

Design your dream room

Your childhood (draw or write about childhood memories, hobbies, things you used to collect, stick in childhood photos, the toys you used to play with etc)

Travel bucket list

Life bucket list

Family tree

Write a list of things that make you happy

Stream of consciousness

Write about your dreams and what you think they might mean

Brain dump (I sometimes do this before I go to sleep if somethings going on)

Doodle page

Stick in notes your loved ones have written to you

List of favourite quotes

Self care ideas

List of songs / playlist

Goals in life / 5 year plan

Plan a day out or a holiday

Plan content you want to make for social media

Tattoos you want to get

Things that make you happy

Outfit ideas

Hobbies you currently have

Hobbies you want to try

List of things you collect

Yoga / exercise routine

Seasonal bucket lists

Things you want to learn or research

Mood tracker

Stick in any colouring pages you’ve done

Daily skincare routine

List of Studio Ghibli films and tick off the ones you’ve watched

List of your favourite things

List of things to do when you’re bored

If you normally write about your day, draw pictures of all the things you did instead of writing (a bit like in a comic book)

Advice people have given you that has been really helpful

Ideal morning / night routine

Notes from therapy / hospital appointments

Page of all your cinema tickets

List of people that inspire you

Angel numbers

Crystals and their meanings

Your favourite artists

Worry tree

Favourite memories

Write your dream wardrobe

Reasons to stay alive

Stick in photos and write a bit about them

Names you like

Favourite words

Write about an event (a description of what happened, how it left you feeling, who was there and what they said and did, what you wish had happened instead, the reasons why you find it hard to let go, steps you could take to start to move on)

Notes on a language you’re learning

Collage about a film you’ve recently watched

Glow up check list

Write about a tarot reading you did

What does heaven and hell mean to you

Flip through a magazine and do a collage of pictures from it

[wondroustailsofffxiv]

There is a re-occurring quest of sorts in Final Fantasy XIV called ‘Wondrous Tails’, and it is given to you in Idyllshire by a young Miqo’te named Khloe Aliapoh. Specifically, she gives you an empty journal and asks you to write down the stories of your past and future adventures so that she can share them with everyone she meets!

By re-completing past content, you can earn stickers in order to make lines across a card in a style similar to bingo, with each finished line netting all sorts of prizes once the journal is turned in. In much the same way, ‘Wondrous Tails of FFXIV’ is a multi-month event that utilizes a prompt-filled bingo card format in order to encourage participants to tell the stories in an environment with minimal restrictions and maximum possibilities.

This event is open to both visual and written media, and anyone that participates with at least one valid entry is entered for a raffle that takes place after the end of the event. However, participants do not need to worry about raffle entries or its few restrictions if all they'd like to do is take part and have fun!

> The next iteration of Wondrous Tails of FFXIV will start on March 15th and end on June 15th! <

For more information about the event, start/end dates and whatnot, please check out the links found below!

About | FAQ | Rules | Bingo Card Template | AO3 | Carrd | Picker Wheel Links

[pinkprettycure]

back to the ui thing, did I ever mention it on tumblr? Uh i dont remember, but like i did add in another NVL. Two actually.

The journal is pretty self explanatory and is meant for this diary entry set up. it's complimented during standard ADV by these paper scrap windows

What's in the ADV box is the thoughts and dialogue from the moment, and the scrap papers are the little thoughts and reflections that would be written down after the fact.

Then there's this standard NVL style window, which was specifically added in for particular scene that IS quite serious (it's not this one) but... the addition of it has nothing to do with the look of the standard pink ADV window lol.

Rather, the prose just didn't flow as well in ADV lol... The scene i added it for had some fairly graphic written description, but no visuals. No cut-ins or CGs or sprites. Which if you're squeamish toward gruesome images is good news, and I did not WANT to add any character visuals for that section, but if the prose were in a standard ADV window, it would take multiple boxes worth of text before we get to a point in the script that has visuals, I would also have had to cut the prose up to accommodate the multiple text sizes and fonts.

And this also meant that during testing for the scene, I was sitting there looking at an empty background for multiple windows before it finally moved to the CG. Which sucks and is awful. 🥴 The NVL window made the scene look better than it would if you were just staring at an ADV window with no characters, and play a lot better as a gaming experience as it cut down the amount of time it would take to get to the next scene making the story flow a lot nicer.

Which I guess is me saying you should also become based and NVL pilled as well 🤔

[goodhypnobro]

Have you read some jock tf fics? If so what’s your all time fav? If you can’t choose one do a top ten.

This is such a great ask and I'm so so sorry in advance for my poor answer. There are so many good jock tf stories out there and my memory isn't good enough to remember them

But here are 10 among the ones I really liked on Tumblr (not really a top) :

- "Getting comfortable" by @just-a-jock

- "Status update" by @jockedguy

- "Bro Advice" by @mrrharper

- "Get Bricked" by @omnitf

- Untitled 2 parts story of Tyler by @tfscales

- "Revenge: Jock Bro Style" by @czascornertfs

- "So you wanna be a Meathead" by @jockedguy

- "The jockrooms" by @jockbroski34

- "FML: Fraternize" by @onelittlespiral

- "Journal entry 2/10/2017" by @jockedguy

Also shout out to the shorter jock-tf mini stories captions by @papermoon357, @jockboyaj, @jb12xxx, @muscle-tf-captions, @playernumber37 and more! I love those too 😋

(So much more tf-creators deserve a praise tbf!!!)

[theendorisit]

magnus protocol season 1 part 1 praise and credits

all right my lovelies, we are at our Magnus protocol hiatus and you know what that means?

Credit where credit is due, we do not get wonderful stories without wonderful storytellers, and storytellers don’t get to tell stories without the people working tirelessly to bring the story to the audience. So thanks to everyone at Rusty Quill who makes these stories possible! I also want to shout praises to our part 1 guest writers: Graeme Patrick, Cole Weavers, Jamie Petronis, Shaun Pellington. Stellar work everyone!

All credits and my thoughts on each episode are below, so SPOILERSSSSSSSSS, you have been warned.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 1 – First Shift

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email] CAT23RAB2155-10042022-09012024 Transformation (eyes) -/- Trespass [chat log]

Written by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall and Jonathan Sims 

Thoughts: stunner of a first episode, juggling meeting literally everyone and setting up the huge diversity of case styles we will be seeing. Also shout out to Alex for making sure we got such a banger of a line: ‘Canaries should stay above ground’.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 2 – Making Adjustments

CAT3RBC1567-23092022-18012024 Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Editing by Jonathan Sims 

Thoughts: Like walking down a stone spiral staircase, you never know what the next thing is going to be (but you know it'll be dark and make your stomach drop a little). Enjoying the twist on accurate CS terminology (yes, contractors ARE called Externals).

The Magnus Protocol Episode 3 – Putting Down Roots

CAT2C8175-03042009-22012024 Infection (full body) -/- arboreal [journal entry]

Written by Graeme Patrick (for more of his work visit https://www.aintslayednobody.com)

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: absolutely now a fan favourite, compelling gruesome body horror, with an intriguing backstory. The slow unravelling of a mind. Brings to mind horrors like Kafka's The Metamorphosis and the film The Ruins (not because they are similar stories necessarily, but, well, vibes). Definitely need more Graeme Patrick in my life!

The Magnus Protocol Episode 4 – Taking Notes

CAT3C7494-19111831-29012024 Collection (blood) -/- musical [letter]

Written by Cole Weavers (for more of his work visit https://www.thetownwhispers.com)

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: A curious tale, that gets more curious in the re-hearing. Sure, an instrument plays the player. But how was the teacher driven wild BEFORE the pupil got the special violin? Maybe the chaos was from him, and the violin was a conduit? Got to hear more Cole stories! Dear grandpa Augustus does always tell such lovely stories, if Tim Fearon can narrate my life, that would be great thx. Also - need a promotion? get your windows NT to tattle on your boss! Lena giving Gertrude vibes with the killing-my-assistants theme.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 5 – Personal Screening

CAT2RB2377-10012023-05022024 Disappearance (undetermined) -/- Invitation [internet blog]

Written by Alexander J Newall and Jamie Petronis (for more of his work visit https://www.thecellarletters.com/)

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall.

Thoughts: I really love this one, it is such a brilliant thrilling story that genuinely has me shouting 'WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? I need more details!!' - which is a hallmark of all good mysteries honestly. Will be on the hunt for more Jamie stories.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 6– Introductions

CAT1RB4824-09022024-12022024 Injury (needles) -/- intimidation [999 call]

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: Needles is a lame tryhard. I love him. Also Alice referring to Lena as 'Big Bird' is hilarious. Also, yay, Celia!

The Magnus Protocol Episode 7 – Give and Take

CAT2RC3338-03022016-12022024 Agglomeration (miscellany) -/- congregation [email]

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: I really hope that Mr Clayton turns up again. As the remains of a crime scene. Also, worldbuilding: hello Oxford. hello people in what is essentially an antique shop repeating the same phrases. Getting déjà vu. And Gwen, you know the Civil Service is really easy to move around, right? You can get a secondment, a loan, a transfer, there's internal job adverts... are you sure you want a promotion?

The Magnus Protocol Episode 8 – Running on Empty

CAT2RBC3366-12072023-28022024 Architecture (liminal) -/-hunger [coursework]

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: I feel like I just experienced a TMA/Backrooms crossover and I can dig it. Interesting repetition of ... repetition as a theme ('people' repeating phrases over and over). I like this one a lot, I feel that it communicates a great deal about the way this universe (or at least, its spooky experiences) works. Also, I really really hope Gee Gee is a villain in this story, just so Sue Sims can be the tiny cackling witch she was destined to be.

Interestingly, the official transcript has the name Hostile Workplace - an early title perhaps?

The Magnus Protocol Episode 9 – Rolling With It

CAT3RB3354-14101998-08032024 Dice (bone) -/- fate [Magnus Statement]

Written by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: This is a fun one, and does put an interesting twist on the idea of owning an artefact, that one could compel others to take the negative consequences. Can't decide if the ending (oh one last time) is too predictable - but definitely immensely satisfying. Also, I'm not sure if the truck/diner death is a direct reference to a final destination movie ending, but I noticed some similarities.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 10 – Saturday Night

CAT1RB2275-06082021-09032024 Mascot (kids) -/- murder [TV interview]

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Edited with additional material by Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: appropriately named! The sound design for this episode gives me intensely-visual mental images of the TV interview, and I really want a YouTube video unpacking the Bonzo Butcher and his crimes, timelines, arrest, everything.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 11 – Marked

CAT23RC5246-06012020-11032024 Tattoo (corpse) -/- compulsion [email exchange]

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Edited with additional material by Alexander J Newall  

Thoughts: Shirley Jackson Susan Hill called, she wants to know when she can have her haunted typewriter back.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 12 – Getting Off

CAT1RB4728-09032024-13032024 Mascot (kids) -/- frenzy [insurance claim]

Written by Alexander J Newall 

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims  

Thoughts: Possibly my favourite so far. Alex is bringing the gory horror and it's perfect. Excellent descriptive storytelling - opening a guy's head like a book is a visual I did not know I needed.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 13 – Futures

CAT3RB4622-17092023-14032024 Gambling (application) -/- murder [voicemail]

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: Can someone get Alex in as a writer for Black Mirror? The series might actually get good as a result. Also can someone start a series tally for died in a hospital bed due to wickedly cool sound design? Thanks. Death by personal adjustment is giving TMA season 5 Mortal Garden vibes.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 14 – Pet Project

CAT1RB4426-01081995-15032024 Transformation (snake) -/-horde

Written by Shaun Pellington (https://www.imdb.com/name/nm14461505/)

Script Edited with additional material by Alexander J Newall and Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: Sometimes well-written characters come and punch you in the gut. Character writing isn't always prioritised in horror, as the characters can just be the vehicle through which horror happens. But the transition from report to last message to dad really hit hard, and the story was creepy af. Shaun writes podcasts and voice acts, so check out his stuff.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 15 – Well Run

CAT1RB-6451-22062023-22032024 Hunt (aristocratic) -/- compulsion

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

 Thoughts: the real horror is being forced to be the monster. Yet you had a choice, you chose the monster, before anyone else could. I will always praise the sound team, though it is amazing how a shot through a window also kinda sounds like a brick wall falling down. I enjoyed Alice's run-in with the drowned woman, great writing, sound design and authentically chaotic. Also, let us all simp for Lady Mowbray, purely because it disgusts Jonny.

The official transcript also has an alternate name Good Show

I know exactly what Jonny means about disgust for the aristocracy, but his reaction is too funny to not do it.

PSA - nellie the elephant was dropped as a CPR technique bc you need to depress a chest by 2 inches to pump someone's heart, and compressions were too shallow when people used that song. Another One Bites The Dust and Stayin' Alive are better rhythms to use.

 The Magnus Protocol Episode 16 – Anti-social

CAT1RB1565-30102023-25032024 Tattoo(influencer)-/- Cardiac

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: I genuinely really like this case and the character. Sure, cringy, but she's young, overexcited, and wants attention, like every other human being on the planet. I think she's quite a compelling character to follow, as she trips headlong into abject misery. Spectacular sound design on the death scene.

Also, a lot of people were complaining about the slang, but given the load of cringy slang that the fandom made the cast read out: this episode was 100% deserved. You want them to call their characters dummy thicc? You made your cringy slang bed, now lie in it (I say with love, affection, and sarcasm).

I am aware part of the complaints were that non-AAVE characters were using AAVE - but unfortunately, that is how real life, and real slang use, works. For example, the word 'cool' meaning good, has been around since the 1930's, and originated from Black Americans in the Jazz scene. Now, everyone uses it. I can't comment on whether this is good or right (and I don't think the show does either), only that the show's use/misuse of slang is accurate to real life.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 17 – Saved Copy

CAT2RC1147-30111997-04042024 Doppleganger (interdimensional) -/- murder

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: Alex and Jonny are very good at twisting existing formats. Evil Twin/Doppleganger? Oh he'll want to kill you, replace you, drain your life, steal your existen- oh he wants a friend to play in his murder dungeon? That's new! Also, the receptionist and orchid-pervert - stop being a tease Alex!

The Magnus Protocol Episode 18 – Solo Work

CAT1RC2374-20032024-10042024 Memory (derelict) -/- compulsion

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: How can a body speak without lungs? Autopsy reports are some of my favourite horror (see The Mortuary Assistant game and the autopsy of Jane Doe film). A house full of fog and forgotten poems.

Also, I got the credit details from the official transcript, so I'm not sure if Jonny writing and editing his own script is an error or deliberate, but it is kind of funny on an episode called 'Solo Work'.

Everyone complains about the AQA Anthology (2004) we had to read for English GCSE, but I loved it intensely.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 19 – Hard Reset

CAT13RBC1137-21031684-11042024 Transformation (canine) -/- growth (Crystalline)

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: Alex writes the word 'Christendom' in a story and is immensely happy about it. I get the deep suspicion that Alex and Jonny have 'Edward-Kun'-ed the boys into a horrific electronic chimera a la Full Metal Alchemist. Excellent world-building. Wonder if the 'Protocol' is going to be 'yeah, we find people acting sus, and we teach them what the second part of 'fuck around and find out' actually entails'. Also COLIN ISN'T DEAD YET. YAYYYYY.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 20 – Social Stigma

CAT1RAB2534-12042024-12042024 Transformation (tattoo) -/- Social Media (influencer)

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Edited with additional material by Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: Talking to a supernatural person... in person. I love it. Interesting dialogue on parasocial relationships and Gwen trying and failing to be an authority figure is hilarious (I am very similar!). Gwen's playlist is just RESPECT covered by Aretha Franklin on repeat. She can't get no respect ever.

Created by Jonathan Sims (@jonnywaistcoat)  and Alexander J Newall (@rqbossman) Directed by Alexander J Newall  Executive Producers April Sumner, Alexander J Newall, Jonathan Sims, Dani McDonough, Linn Ci, and Samantha F.G. Hamilton Associate Producers Jordan L. Hawk, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius d’Raven, and Megan Nice Produced by April Sumner    Featuring (in order of appearance) Billie Hindle as Alice Dyer

Kazeem Tosin Amore as Teddy Vaughn Anusia Battersby as Gwendolyn Bouchard (@anouchard) Shahan Hamza as Samama Khalid Sarah Lambie as Lena Kelley Alexander J Newall as Norris Jonathan Sims as Chester Kate Sketchley as Daria Jenny Haufek as Therapist

Tim Fearon as Augustus Paul Schmidt as Klaus

Hattie Quinlan as Operator 1 Harry Roebuck as Needles Tom Park as Operator 2 Joe Bence as Police Operator Lowri Ann Davies as Celia Ripley

Jon Gracey as Gerry Keay Sue Sims as Gertrude Robinson

Catherine Luff as Geraldine Hardy Steve Newman as Nigel Dickerson

Uncredited as Mr. Bonzo Beth Eyre as [Error]

Zena Carswell as Answerphone Euan Shedden as DarrienEp

Jesse Hawke as Voicemail Danny Scarre as Caterer Ellie Dickens as Lady Mowbray Yanick Ghanty as Luke Dyer Lara Sawalha as Drowning Victim

Vera Chok as Ink5oul Ki Griffin as Madam E

Sasha Sienna as Georgie Barker (@sashasienna)

----

Dialogue Editor – Lowri Ann Davies Sound Designers – Tessa Vroom, Katharine Seaton, Meg McKellar, Mastering Editor - Catherine Rinella

Music by Sam Jones (orchestral mixes by Jake Jackson) Art by April Sumner    Fabulous work everyone! Can't wait for the next part!

Official transcripts:

[liillyliilly]

His Diary

akaashi keiji x reader words; 10082 synopsis; For Akaashi Keiji, love meant letting someone know him better than he knew himself. It also meant being okay with letting her read his diary.

She decided that this was her new favorite book. It had all the right amounts of everything in it, drama, romance, depression, self-loathing. The journal she found was likely never written to be read. The journal he lost, the journal that Akaashi Keiji misplaced on a train going home from his editing job, he never expected to become a crux in his journey to love.

In all honesty, she didn’t even know it was a journal. It just seemed to be an episodic novel with a unique font, something along the vein of The Perks of Being A Wallflower. She only ever knew the leather-bound pages as a novel with no name. The author used a first-person perspective when writing and told the story of a young volleyball player who wanted desperately to find a passion, so he surrounded himself with others who had passion. What he seemed to enjoy more than playing the sport was writing though.

The author of the untitled book loved to read because the way he wrote made everything else she had read pale in comparison to the inky brilliance. He had captured teenager-dom with such sleight of hand that she believed his writing was made of magic and fairy dust. The story made her cry, made her groan, and made her feel second-hand embarrassment to an extreme she thought wasn’t possible.

When she read the first chapter, she realized she ought to pace her reading, because there were only so many entries. And she had no way of contacting or looking up the author, there was no information of who the author was on the back of the book. There was a Fukurodani Sticker, a school she remembers from her own time at a high school nearby, they were known for their volleyball skills and prowess, so she assumed maybe the author had some lived experience when it came to volleyball. Maybe that was a hobby aside from being a writer of such compelling stories.

She carried it everywhere from the day she picked it up on the floor of the train, it was always in her backpack, purse, and suitcase. She never left it alone, it had become a part of her. She felt like somehow this author reached into her heart and left fingerprints of his making into permanent fixtures of her anatomical structure. DATE: XX-XX-2013 TITLE: Alethiology; The Study of Truth

Today I realized that maybe I am all that I will be. My capacity has limits in comparison to others. A friend of a friend told me that their volleyball captain made a speech once, not to the whole team, just talking with buddies. His speech, or at least the parts I remember from it, was devastating. He said something like guys like Atsumu and all those geniuses, do things on a scale of 1-20, whereas normal guys like me do things on a scale of 1-10. Or maybe they have a denser more compact 1-10. And if 1-20 doesn’t work out, they try things from A to Z.

I’ve never thought of things like that. There’s always been a straightforward path for me, whereas, in comparison to Bokuto, he seems to have a much longer and more complex route ahead of him. Am I all that I will be? Is there a way for the normal guy to switch from 1-10 and try 1-20?

We have another game soon, maybe I can control more than I expect. Is flight into this world of geniuses possible? I can only control myself and my thoughts, but maybe there are external factors that contribute to my role on this team. My role in life as well.

Bokuto is asking for me, I need to go. Hope I can write again soon, but with all the games we’ll be playing I’m doubtful I can write with actual thoughts and not just tallies and plays from the games.

- A.K.

“I mean, who thinks of things like that Miwa?” She sits in the styling chair, getting a refresher on her hair. Miwa snips away lightly, inspecting each strand with duty and consideration for the entire look.

“Your author crush does.” Miwa brushes away some hair from Y/N’s shoulders, tidying up the apron wrapped around her.

She just rolls her eyes at Miwa’s comment. Flipping to the page in the book, tracing a finger over the deep black gel pen markings. Numbers and dashes and names of high schools against Fukurodani tell the story of the adventure at Tokyo’s national volleyball tournament from way back in 2013. She had barely started her second year of middle school in 2013, ripely being 14 years old.

Miwa and her sip some freshly made smoothies of Miwa’s creation, sitting at a table in the window of the entrance to the salon. Miwa bounces her foot that’s crossed over her leg and she pours over the entry once again. It was becoming addicting to choose one entry to re-read until she ingrained the stylistic choices into a deep long-term memory.

At that same moment, Bokuto Koutarou and his best friend Akaashi Keiji walk past Miwa’s Salon, attempting to plan a group hangout to celebrate Bokuto joining the MSBY Black Jackals team.

“I’ll need to make sure Konoha comes, and that he brings that cute friend of his for you,” Bokuto wiggles his eyebrows repeatedly, and Akaashi shoves him lightly on the shoulder.

“Konoha is dating that cute girl he brings around.” Akaashi clarifies. Bokuto looks stunned, but then he remembers them making out on his couch during movie night that one time.

Akaashi looks around the street for a moment, peeking into the windows and observing the various occupants. When he sees his journal, the one that’s been missing for a little over a year, he just has to get it back.

When Akaashi pulls Bokuto into the hair salon, and barely below a scream says, “You stole my journal!” pointing at the girl who was indeed holding his journal from high school, Bokuto feels like his head was put through a blender. There were three very distinct things occurring at that moment. A pretty girl was shoving a book into her bag looking very defensive, Akaashi was trying to take the aforementioned girl’s bag from her, and a girl who he assumed was the pretty girl’s friend had a pair of scissors pointing at Bokuto by the throat.

Akaashi was still trying to pull the bag away, the pretty girl was looking extremely scared, and the scissors girl had opened and closed them one too many times for Bokuto’s comfort.

“Listen, I think we should all just take a moment to pause.” Bokuto held his hands up, shuffling to outturn his pockets in a show of lack of violent intentions. The black-haired girl puts the scissors back into her half apron that’s around her waist and then folds her arms.

Bokuto then pries Akaashi away from the pretty girl who was now clutching her bag against her chest and sniffling a little. Akaashi did feel bad that he made such a bad first impression, but he swore she had his journal. His embarrassing high school journal, the same journal that had cataloged many things he wished he never had recorded down on paper.

Bokuto pushes Akaashi’s head down, forcing him into a deep bow. Bokuto follows suit and also bows.

“I’m sorry for, uh, trying to steal your bag. But I think you may have a book, that isn’t a book at all, but rather my journal.” Akaashi is now sitting at the table in the window, Bokuto, the black-haired girl, and the pretty girl also sitting with him.

Outside the evening had quickly set in, with the orange and pink colors racing to get to the skyline. The blue began to fade into a deep dark navy color. And the lights on the streets began to flicker on. The lights on the outside of the salon began to twinkle from the setting they had been placed on, fairy lights luring those with a need for a haircut into the salon.

Bokuto had his head on his hand, staring intensely at the girl who had taken Akaashi’s journal, sighing slightly at the way her lips pouted and shined from her lip gloss. The girl with the scissors had brought out two more glasses of thick smoothie.

She pulled out the journal from her Doughnut Macaroon-style crossbody bag and slid it over to Akaashi. Akaashi flipped through the pages, immediately recognizing it as his. His face goes red and he readjusts his glasses, and she realizes that this must be his journal. He even goes straight to the back cover and smiles at the sticker she had grown to love to trace with her pinkie when reading.

“I’m not done with it yet, so, I really do hate to say this, but you can’t have it back until I finish it.” She takes the book back and tucks it into her bag again. Akaashi looks dumbfounded, eyebrows raised and lips pursed into a line.

“You’re just going to keep private property? Even though you know it’s mine?” What a dauntless woman she was, to show what Akaashi considered to be audacity with the whole journal situation.

Bokuto chimes in at this point, “Akaashi, I think we should just let the pretty girl keep your little diary.” Bokuto then starts nodding his head up and down to try and get agreement from Akaashi. Akaashi scoffs.

“Okay, so it’s settled, my cutie of a best friend will keep the journal until she finishes it, we’ll get your numbers and she can contact y’all when she finishes the journal, and I get to cut both of y’all’s hair because honestly, it’s atrocious.” Leave it to Miwa to consolidate a plan in a matter of moments.

Miwa touched the spiky salt and pepper hair that Bokuto had, and Miwa’s expression turned sour when she felt the amount of gel on top of his head, then Miwa pulled out a photo of Yuki Ishikawa in a two-block cut and explained what color of black dye Miwa will use for Bokuto. For Akaashi, Miwa just did a trim and tidied up his sides to bring them slightly tighter into his face.

While annoyed, Akaashi does give her his number, along with his name, and Bokuto does the same with much more enthusiasm. After the haircuts are finished, Akaashi tries to pull Bokuto away from the salon, but Bokuto keeps doing the ‘call me later’ signal with his hand and blowing a kiss to her wistfully. She just waves to the both of them while Miwa giggles behind her dye-stained glove. DATE: XX-XX-13 TITLE: Meraki; Putting A Piece of Yourself Into Your Passion

I am the protagonist of the world. We lost but I am still alive, we lost but I loved the game. I came to the realization that it doesn’t matter if you are the best character, the most complex, or the most ‘genius’ of them all. It doesn’t matter because I am the protagonist. I can be the hero of my own story without ever having won first place in a big-name tournament.

Bokuto is graduating, and I’ll still be here, which is disappointing. He’s my best friend I think. Even if he’s the most annoying ass I’ve ever met, he’s still my best friend and I would never trade him for any other person in the entire world. Together we are the protagonists of the world.

Second place is just as accoladed as first place. If I wasn’t who I am, then maybe I would’ve gotten mad. The first-place winner is a rich school, they’ve been a powerhouse for decades at this point, and this win is just another notch on the belt. If I wasn’t who I am, especially after this tournament, maybe I would’ve gotten frustrated at myself for not doing enough. For not being a setter like Kageyama. Or a setter like Oikawa. That doesn’t matter though, I am a setter. I’ve worked hard to get where I am. But a human mind will always wonder why. And sometimes it's just because you’re unlucky.

Kenma told me about his loss to Karasuno, his sweaty hands made the ball slip in the final point. He laughed about it, he said that that was the best game of volleyball he’s ever played. When Kenma told Kuroo thanks for teaching him volleyball, I cried, but not as much as Kuroo did. They remind me of why I went to Fukurodani. I saw Bokuto’s passion for the sport. His passion encouraged mine, and look where we got to. We because the victors at the end of the war.

Mom made katsu chicken for dinner, I did some homework, and I had to put away my volleyball uniform for next year. I practiced in my backyard, alternating between overhead and underhand passes, seeing how long I could go without dropping the ball. Dad called me into the house for ice cream after thirty minutes elapsed.

I called Bokuto tonight before I went to bed. Told him that he’s my best friend and that I love volleyball. Bokuto agreed.

- A.K.

She was crying, and so she held the book out in front of her, resting it on her blanket. She finally had some faces to match with the words she was reading, and it all felt much too real. Bokuto did seem like the type of person to adopt and bring a person like Akaashi into his fold. But the way that Akaashi genuinely admired and appreciated his best friend was unparalleled and she felt like he would understand the exact way she felt about her best friend, Miwa.

Miwa and her met when she was fresh out of college. She hadn’t an idea of what to do in her life, while Miwa seemed to have her passion set out in front of her with her hair and makeup salon. When she got a haircut from Miwa and started ranting about her life, Miwa just told her to slow everything down. Take a gap year from life and just be a human. So, she picked up shifts at Miwa’s salon and moved in with her.

The best friends slowly became business partners as well, and an expansion to the salon was added, a small specialty bookshop that she ran, while Miwa continued to do hairstyling. Their customers were dedicated and loved to support their business. Branding remained solely under Miwa’s name, but she became everything else to the brand as well, the little addition that made the salon extra special.

When she started to cough a little from the way her heart was beating erratically from crying about Akaashi’s diary, she had to get out of bed and get a glass of water. Akaashi’s number was resting on her kitchen table. Miwa was watching some rom-com in the living room of their shared apartment. She brushed pasted the kitchen and sat next to Miwa.

“A good chapter?” Miwa threw a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

“He’s devastating. Who writes like they feel every emotion entirely?” She started crying again and Miwa laughed a little before rubbing her best friend’s back.

“You could always call him and tell him he’s a good writer if you need to talk about it. Sure it’s unconventional, but maybe he has more insights that you can cry to.” She grabbed a pillow and started hitting Miwa with it.

She did take Akaashi’s number into her room on her way back to bed though. Leaving the series of digits on her bedside table, she re-read the passage and cried again. She thinks she knows him better than most, but they aren’t even friends.

Since realizing he’s a person, and that Akaashi lived this story in the book. The story of his life recorded in his journal, she starts to wonder about what happened to him after he stopped writing in the diary. But she hasn’t finished the story yet, so she’ll have to see what happens next. Again, trying to pace herself, she puts the book away until tomorrow when she can read a little more.

Akaashi sits in his office, he’s still there and it’s much later than the clock would like to admit. The clock wondered if Akaashi would ever go home. But there he was, reviewing the different styles of manga serializations Udai Tenma wanted to try out for his next series. His haircut makes him feel a little colder because now the air can hit right behind his ear instead of being covered with his hair. He puts on a beanie to fight the chill.

When it gets too late at night, his mind tends to wander slightly. Just barely drifting out of his control, like the way a lily pad will drift to the center of a pond when the stem at the base of the connection is severed. He can’t dive into the pond to bring his thoughts back into his hands.

He thinks about her. The girl with his journal. The journal was a cheap 2,500 yen book, but he liked the paper, it was a cold press thicker GSM than most other paper forms. Gel inks went on smoothly to the paper, letting him get more words across by the second than if he was writing with a ballpoint. He remembers that from when he used to write in the journal in high school.

Throwing himself into the back of his seat, he rubs his face, his glasses almost falling off from how he runs his hands up from his chin to his forehead. Setting the glasses on his desk, he spins his chair a little. The clock screams at him, he takes the message from his dedicated clock and grabs his messenger bag.

On the train, he thinks about her again. Instead of getting irritated at how Bokuto essentially gave his journal away to a stranger again, he wonders what her thoughts are. Was his writing any good to warrant such a committed reader? Did she like his journal only because it was funny to read what his dramatic high school self wrote about?

He cringes thinking about all the potential things he wrote down. There’s no direct recollection of what he wrote down exactly, but he knows vaguely what was on his mind when he was writing. His ego, his insecurities, his favorite things. Lots about volleyball, Bokuto, and books. Once he wrote about his thoughts on sex, which is embarrassing for him that a grown woman is reading his teenage idealizations of intimacy.

It could be considered something unique to read. Akaashi settled into the belief that she was merely reading his journal because it was something different than typical books that were being published. Although, why she was reading his journal instead of a Haruki Murakami book was beyond him. Nothing beats his favorite literary giant.

Setting his bag on the coat hanger stand, and shrugging out of his long pea coat. He heats some stovetop ramen while listening to Bokuto talk over the phone, he was ranting about the same girl that Akaashi had had on his mind.

“Oh and those eyes of hers. Did you see them?” Of course, Akaashi saw them, they were big, bright, and astute. Akaashi hums in response, and Bokuto continues barreling through his late-night thoughts.

“I think we should invite her to my party. You know, the one to celebrate my big accomplishment.” In a different apartment, Bokuto spins a volleyball on his finger, but he keeps dropping it so he ends up just repeatedly tossing it into the air so he can satiate the desire to feel his fingers on the ball.

“Yeah, how about no.”

Bokuto asks why not, almost in a whining tone.

“Did you forget she has my journal still?” Akaashi put his bowl in the sink, putting on rubber gloves as he started to wash out the dish and then put it on the drying rack. He decided to finish all his dishes right now anyway since he still had the gloves on.

“Your diary can’t be that juicy, you didn’t do anything too dramatic in high school. Plus I know you wanna see her again too. Don’t pretend like you don’t have a piqued interest. Also, did I use piqued right?”

“You used it right, yes.”

He eventually agreed to let Bokuto invite her to the small get-together. Akaashi didn’t know why Bokuto kept referring to it as a party.

A week later, Akaashi realized that maybe Bokuto kept calling it a party because it had shifted from a friends-only gathering to a huge party at the park. Some other Fukurodani alumni helped to set up decorations in the central gazebo and make banners to hang all over the pavilion. Akaashi was mixing the punch at a table, while Konoha asked what he had been up to lately.

Kuroo and Kenma brought huge gifts for Bokuto, a PlayStation from Kenma, and a packet of potential sponsorship deals from Kuroo.

When she finally made her way to the pavilion with a small brown package, Akaashi couldn't care less about the party. She was wearing a tight-fitting black shirt with a tiered white and gold skirt, and her shoes were a pair of sneakers, but the whole outfit made Akaashi concede to Bokuto’s claim of her being “drool-worthy”. He had to remember that this was the same woman who had his diary. The whole conflict between physical attraction and mental frustration made for an entirely convoluted reaction to her presence.

She bows politely to Bokuto when he goes over to her, offering the gift with both hands, only then did Akaashi wonder how old she must have been. Bokuto had been talking to her more than him, and Bokuto had mentioned that she was a second-year middle schooler when Bokuto was in his third year. Akaashi did some mental math and realized that he, himself, must have been around three to four years older than her.

Akaashi forced himself to ignore the idea of a cute younger girlfriend that started to pester him in the back of his mind. He wanted his journal back, and that’s all this relationship was to him, a mutual exchange of her reading and then him eventually getting back his property. But with the way she had done her hair, Akaashi had a hard time focusing solely on wanting his diary returned.

She was glad that Bokuto appreciated the gift, she hadn’t known him longer than a week or so, and she had gone with a safe gift based on what she knew about him and why this party was even being thrown. She got him a wearable jump monitor that her dad had bought a month ago but never used, she was grateful for having a father who never threw things away. She also included some stickers that she had bought from a small sticker shop online, and some that she had made using Miwa’s craft supplies.

When the excitement of her being at the park died down, she made her way to a table, with a small plate of desserts. She observed how everyone interacted with each other, almost as if they had been friends since the dawn of time, and she believed that that very well might have been the case.

Akaashi stalked her from afar. He appreciated that she was similar to him in a way that mattered to him, she was a watcher. She would assess what was going on, who would talk to who, and how they would nonverbally communicate as well. He got so engrossed in watching her that he neglected to observe the others as well.

Specifically, Konoha, Washio, and Komi had grabbed a water cooler and had the full intention of dumping the water on Akaashi. It was payback for declining their invitations to various other parties from the last year. So there he was, not only soaked through with water but revealed from his vantage point unmistakably indicating to her that he must have been watching her. She laughed a little at the antics but then brought over a small cloth she had in her crossbody bag.

His white shirt was completely transparent, and his brown slacks had turned from a regular light brown into a dark musty brown. The only way to resolve the issue in her mind was to start dabbing at his chest with her handkerchief.

“I see that your friends have a peculiar method of exacting humor.” Her handkerchief eventually was too soaked through that she was just touching his chest with a cloth that had performed osmosis and was now at equilibrium with the water on his shirt.

“Yep.”

“Look, there’s a hoodie in my car, I know we aren’t too close, but it’s probably better to wear my oversized hoodie than to have your whole torso on display for the rest of the night.” She shoves her thumb in the direction of her car.

After making their way to her car, she digs through the trunk and pulls out a grey hoodie with the words ‘Miwa’s Salon’ embroidered on the back. He tugs at the back of his shirt to take it off and she widens her eyes before turning around. The hoodie is comfortable, with a soft fleece on the inside, and it smelt like lychee, vanilla, and surprisingly chocolate marshmallows. It smells like her and he wonders if he could have the scent bottled and then sprayed all over his house.

Suddenly he’s tugging at the collar of the hoodie and swallowing thickly, looking around at anything but her figure in front of him.

“We should probably get heading back to everyone now that you’ve changed.” She goes to start walking to the gazebo, but Akaashi’s words stop her.

“How well do you know me?” She tilted her head and said something about not following along with what he was saying, so he continued, “Well, you’re reading a part of me, you know with my journal, my internal thoughts and hopes and dreams and all that. So, how well do you know me?”

She timidly bites down on her bottom lip, formulating a response. But Akaashi surmises that she must not really care much for the conversation, so he, unfortunately, starts to run his mouth and the words just spiral out.

“You know, it doesn’t matter, to you, it’s just a story about a teenage boy who played volleyball. It’s silly to assume you’d try and actually-”

She cuts in, “I know you’re a considerate person. And it's not just about the volleyball stuff, it's about you, finding yourself to some degree. I know you are polite. I know you’re allergic to beating around the bush, you’re direct and blunt. I know that you can overthink too much.”

Akaashi repeatedly adjusted his glasses, and she stepped just a little bit closer to him, folding her hands behind her back and leaning in slightly so she didn’t have to talk as loudly.

“You also have a bad habit of thinking you can control more than you can, one of the interesting things in your journal is how you jump back and forth between knowing what you can control and then inflating from stress and thinking you can micromanage the entire world. You said you can control the court, but in reality, that’s your worldview. You conclude you can control the entire world sometimes.”

He regrets starting the conversation because this revelation of how much she knew about him exposes him. Akaashi didn’t know how to continue with the gap in knowledge between the two of them.

He only knew she was younger than him, she was incredibly perceptive, and she smelled so freaking good he just wanted to shove her into the backseat of her car and kiss her. Akaashi’s thoughts could not have been his own at this point, he was going crazy. He must have gotten sick from the cold water being dumped on him he speculates.

When they get back to the gazebo, Akaashi thanks Bokuto for the party and heads home. She stays at the party, talking to a select few people and wondering what exactly she said that scared Akaashi off so quickly.

Sitting in the tub, Akaashi rests his head against the shower wall and lets the hot water filter his congestion that didn’t exist. His hand twitched over to his phone, which was on the toilet seat playing some piano music that he hoped would alleviate all his bad habits. He wonders if she will text him soon. If she would text him ever. He felt like he was younger, it was ridiculous that one person would have such an effect on him to this degree.

After the party, she sits with Miwa, disclosing everything that happened at the party.

“And then he just ran off?” She nods at Miwa repeating what she just said. “Girlie, you gave him an in-depth review of his personality and you’re shocked that he ran away? Sometimes you can be too judicious for your own good.”

“Should I text him an apology?”

“Are you sorry for anything?” Miwa rolled her eyes, hating when she got like this. Miwa never allowed her to apologize for things that didn’t need to be apologized for.

“No.” She rubs her arm and chews the inside of her cheek.

“I think you think he’s hot, I mean, you understand this man on a deeper level that he now grasps, and you said he had the chest and torso of some kind of slutty librarian/gym rat agglomeration.” Miwa takes a bobby pin out of her hair and runs a hand through her bob cut, “If it was me, I would send him a picture of the journal and ask for nudes, or else the book gets it.”

She hits Miwa with a pillow, and Miwa realizes she really should throw the pillows away or else getting hit with them would be a very painful recurrence.

Miwa goes to sleep, but she stays up just a little later. Eyeing Akaashi’s number that lay painfully glaring at her. She decides to read more of his diary instead of texting him. DATE: XX-XX-13 TITLE: Weltschmerz; Sadness When The World Isn’t As It Should Be

Summer sucks. Bokuto has a training thing for some team he wants to be a part of in the future. All my friends that were third years are essentially gone, actually out and living life, and I’m stuck here. At least there’s only one more year left of high school. And then I can go and work for a literary magazine.

I miss people. Despite their failings, I do need people in my life.

You can only play so much volleyball in a day by yourself before your motivation is gone by the third week of playing alone.

It’s times like these that make me think about the future. I don’t spend much time with girls per se, but they are pretty and nice. Our manager is a girl, but she has a boyfriend. She’s chill.

Sometimes, when I feel like something is wrong, I turn to the idea of love. I’ll admit that I love a few things in life, but that’s only because I think love is something truly special that you can’t just fling around. I ‘like’ things more often than I ‘love’ them. Volleyball, my best friend, my family, books, and writing.

Will I know when I’ve found the love of my life? My parents said they knew they loved each other from the first moment they met. Will I feel like that too? Will I know it’s love? How can a feeling be recognized as a specific feeling? How do I know what anger feels like, besides that heat and pressure and red hot sun? How do I know what sadness feels like, besides water, coldness, and finishing a run? Would love have those distinct colors and associations? Or would love just become the person I love?

I don’t believe in soulmates. Definitely not. I think people are infinitely compatible, and it all depends on our ability to communicate and agree to grow with a person for the rest of our lives. I believe we make our own soulmates, through sharing experiences and agreeing to be ourselves no matter what. I told my mom this and she just smiled at me like I still had a lot of life left to live.

But don’t I have enough experience to know what I want? Or at least to formulate my own opinions and beliefs? I may be 17 but I am not an idiot.

Or did my mom’s look of a wistful future just mean that when I fall in love I’ll know it and I’ll look back to these words and think I’m completely ridiculous?

Dad made spaghetti for dinner. It was gross so we ended up having to order udon from the place I like instead.

We watched a movie Mom wanted to show me, the title was something like Wildly Wealthy Westerners or something. It was just about rich people from America and Canada, plus a subplot of romance between a basic guy and this rich heiress girl who just couldn’t be together because of rich people's reasons. It was silly but the music was good. The ending kiss scene was hot, he shoved her into the backseat of his jeep and I swear I heard Mom sigh.

- A.K.

She didn’t expect him to text her on Monday of the following week, asking if they could meet for tea at a place near his work during his lunch break. She surprised herself by agreeing to it, and then by cheekily calling it a date.

Akaashi shoved his phone into Udai’s face, “What does this mean?”

Udai pushed his bangs back and inspected the text messages on Akaashi’s phone. “I think it means she agreed to go on the date you asked her on?”

“But I didn’t ask her on a date?”

“Oh, but you definitely did. Oh and tea? What dork takes a girl for tea on a first date?” Udai pushed Akaashi’s phone away and clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Then Udai’s face breaks into a blinding grin, “Is this your little diary thief? And the one who gave you the sweater at Bo’s party? Oh, it is isn’t it, do you have a picture of her?”

Akaashi briefly flashed a photo Bokuto had taken with her in Udai’s direction.

“DAMN! I need me my own diary thief,” Udai raised his eyebrows and started laughing a little, and then he ruffled his hair and used his fingers to zoom into her face, slowly, he started moving down the picture to her body. Akaashi pulled his phone back before Udai got too far down.

The clock on Akaashi’s desk wanted him to leave for an early lunch and by an early lunch, an hour early. So there he sat at the small cafe on the corner by his office building, rubbing his sweaty hands against the legs of his pants, waiting for her. She was five minutes early and was surprised to see him already at a table, so she decided to have a little fun.

Since his back was turned, she went up to him and tapped his shoulder, when he turned around she let out a small “Boo!” and put her hands up into an imitation of claws, trying her best to seem scary. He just thought she was adorable. He motioned for her to sit down.

Resting her crossbody bag against the back of the chair, she took a seat. Akaashi was able to wave down a waiter, who gave them a single menu to look over.

“What kind of tea do you like?” She asked, using her pointer finger to scan through the options the cafe had available.

“I like black tea, and sometimes chamomile tea.” He asked her for her favorite type, and she told him. He tried to commit her favorite to memory as quickly as possible.

Eventually, they had their tea, and the silence started to set in. Between sips, Akaashi would try to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. But he thought it was all too bold. So he told her a little about his life, his work, and his friends and she did the same, returning statements in a unique fashion about her life. Her word choice was special, calculated even. She was like him in another way that mattered, a calculated, intentional way of speaking.

She could always make him yearn to be a little more considerate of his words. Until she managed to pry them out of him.

“So why am I here?” She stirs a little more sugar into her tea, then pauses from drinking her tea to take a sip of her water.

“I want one of your journals.”

She laughs before realizing he’s entirely serious, “How do you even know that I have any journals to lend to you? For all you know, I could be living a journal-less life.” She waves her small stirring spoon around, before putting it into her mouth.

“I can’t explain it, but I know you have journals. Only someone with a journal of their own would be so obsessed with another’s.” Akaashi takes the spoon from her mouth and uses it to stir some sugar into his tea. Her mouth gapes for a moment while he smirks, looking right into her intelligent eyes.

The next day they have tea again, and she gives him one of her journals from high school.

“Don’t read it all in one go.” She pauses, “I don’t write nearly as well as you do, so don’t scrutinize my words the way you do all your mangakas’ words.”

Akaashi nods.

He read it all in one night. He calls her in the middle of said night.

“Who the hell is this Ito kid? When did you and he start talking? Just outta nowhere he pops up at the end of your last entry. Where’s the careful recollection of all your interactions with him?” Akaashi is exasperated, running his hand through his hair. He disagreed with what she said about her writing.

She was compelling and interesting, and she most definitely had his heart. Her high school experience had been so different from his, and she seemed to be much more optimistic about life than he was. Despite her calling him a realist, he believed that in comparison to her, he was a total pessimist.

She explained to him about Ito, and that he was a short-lived crush she had had at the end of her second year in high school. Akaashi was glad when she said she didn’t even talk to him anymore. Based on the way she had written about him, Akaashi thought that Ito would be the love of her life, and Akaashi was slowly realizing maybe his heart was in the process of making her the love of his life.

“When do I get the next journal?” Akaashi wanted to keep talking to her despite the lateness of the hour.

“You don’t. I told you to pace yourself, I only have one of yours so you’re only getting one of mine.” She was lying on her stomach on her bed, slightly kicking her feet while talking to Akaashi.

Akaashi groans but tells her he’ll return the journal next week when he can have another long lunch break. She says she’ll be there.

Akaashi recalls when he remembered his diary was lost.

It had been a long day at work, and he wanted nothing more than to go home. His mom hadn’t remembered his apartment address, so she sent one of his old journals to his work office. He put it into his satchel and made his way home.

On the train, there had been a slight jostling. And Akaashi hadn’t noticed the journal falling out of his bag and under his seat.

When he exited the train, she had gotten onto it. She sat down in the same seat he had. Right when Akaashi started walking to the stairs to exit the station, she reached down under the seat to stow away her bag, only to be met with a rough material. And for a moment, if they had just turned around, their eyes would’ve met right as the train pulled away.

When he finally got home, he unpacked his bag, looking to put away his journal safely into a box with other memorabilia from high school. When he dumped his bag upside down, shaking everything out, he just couldn’t find his journal. When going home from work the next day, he had asked all the employees if they had seen a leatherbound notebook. None turned up.

If there ever was a moment that could’ve changed the future, that was what it would’ve been. If the train hadn’t jostled. If Akaashi Keiji hadn’t been tired from work and forgot to check for the journal on his way out of the station. If she hadn’t sat right where he had been sitting, and most definitely, if she didn’t love a good book, then it all would’ve turned out differently.

But that’s not the story that’s being told. The story being told is of Akaashi Keiji realizing that to love someone, you have to accept that they may know you better than you know yourself.

It had been six months, and she was close to finishing the journal. Somedays she didn’t read at all, others she read three entries and wanted to binge the rest of the diary.

They went for tea every single week. Sometimes twice. Then other times, he would take her around Tokyo to go exploring. They went to every museum, every library, every cafe that specialized in tea. He figured that they ought to be on an even playing field when it came to how well they knew each other, so instead of getting more journals from her, they traded lists of their top one hundred favorite books.

She had put three Haruki Murakami books on her list and Akaashi wanted to hold her face in his hands and kiss her.

But they were just friends. Friends who knew each other better than Akaashi was comfortable with. She knew what he would order before he said it, and he knew what she was going to comment before she stated it. When she asked him about his experience with failure, he knew that she had gotten in too deep.

She knew more about him than he expected her to, she knew all about the silly things that rattled around in his brain, and although it had been a journal from high school, he knew that people stayed pretty similar throughout life. So when she looked at him, she didn’t just see professional editor Akaashi Keiji, she saw a teenager who wondered what place he had in the world as well. She saw him as acne-ridden and languid with life. He wanted to control her perspective of him and he couldn’t do that now, because she had the key to his past and the map of his future.

So he tried to put some space between them. Just in case. Maybe it was a horrible tendency to overthink, no, he knew it was his horrible overthinking tendency. There were so many ways their relationship could go. He could completely crush her, to be completely crushed himself in turn.

Walking the edge of a knife with her. Balancing on the blade of friendship, if he fell onto one side, with no cuts, then they could have a happy relationship. If he cut himself on that blade, then the worst-case scenario would be that she realizes she doesn’t like him back and then there’s just someone who knows him too well out in the world.

When he hadn’t texted her in four weeks and her messages were left on read, she decided to finish the journal and be done with it. Their time as friends was short-lived she thought. She thought there may have been something more for the pair of them. And suddenly all the depressing love songs became about him. Which made her resentful, because who ruins ‘Iris’ by The Goo Goo Dolls like that for someone? DATE: XX-XX-14 TITLE: Quatervois; A Crossroads

I graduated today. I went through that book of fancy words Mom gave me and stumbled across this one. Quatervois, a crossroads. Does this count as a crossroads?

The magazine I want to work for said I could have an internship while I attend college. An internship in the manga editing department. Was I not good enough for the literature department? Is it because of my age? I think my essay and grades were good enough to at least qualify me for a chance to interview in that department. But they only let me interview for the editing department.

Does that make me a career failure? I like the magazine, but I’m not sold on the department they want me to go into.

Washio called me to congratulate me, he said that I was finally crossing over into the real world. I’m pretty sure I’ve been living in the real world for as long as I’ve been alive, but Washio made it seem like things would be so different for me. I digress.

When nothing seems straightforward, and you come to a fork in the road and you have two options that you can’t see down, how do you choose which road to go down? The one lined with flowers, or the one with a dirt path that could eventually have something more alluring at the end.

- A.K.

On the penultimate page of the journal was a glued-down picture of Akaashi wearing his graduation suit, and holding his graduation scroll, his parents stood on either side of him grinning proudly at their only child. Maybe she should’ve checked the book from the last page and then started reading the front. But she didn’t want spoilers, that’s why she never checked the second to last page.

She texted Akaashi and said she finished the journal and was ready to return it. When he didn’t respond, but had read the message, she texted Bokuto asking for some clarification. She asked if Akaashi had said anything about her that would’ve indicated why he was mad. Bokuto just said that Akaashi wasn’t mad at all. So now she was confused. If he wasn’t upset, then why was he ignoring her?

Instead of going to their tea place, she goes to his office during lunch. She scans the buttons, looking for his department.

“Hey diary thief, whatcha doing here?” A shorter guy with shaggy black hair and a hoodie with a denim jacket over it comes around to her and presses the elevator button.

“Are you going to the Manga Editing Department?” She checked before entering the elevator with the shaggy-haired guy, who had introduced himself as Udai Tenma, but she could just call him Tenma. He confirms and then doubly checks her identity as the same person Akaashi had been talking about and spending all his lunch breaks with.

“It’s funny that you know about the journal, I came here to return it finally. Probably much to Akaashi’s delight.” She adjusts her bag across her shoulders, giving a short sigh.

“No, Akaashi loves that you have his journal. At first, he was a little annoyed, but now it’s kinda like you have a little piece of him all the time. I told him just to get you a necklace with his name on it, but noooooo Udai I can’t do that because I’d essentially be confessing if I did something like that.” Udai did a brilliant imitation of Akaashi, even going as far as to push his shoulders back to make him seem taller and with a broader build.

Udai turned slowly to face her, eyes wide and jaw dropped, “Please pretend I don’t exist, I never said anything about Akaashi’s undying love,” He froze, “Also ignore what I just said.”

Udai got out of the elevator on the floor below the editing department. She could hear him start to criticize himself and say he owes Akaashi so many more favors and solids now.

She walked through the office, lightly admiring all the manga panels, all the stories that had come out of this building astounded her, it had been a while since she last read a manga, so she considered picking one up on her way out. Maybe she’d read the one written by Udai.

Then she sees him. Akaashi, with a pencil in one hand and an eraser in the other. His head is moving slightly, due to the music playing through his headphones she assumes. He fidgets in his chair, wiggling the seat around. Despite being angry at him, he was still adorable when he was engrossed in his work.

“You’re being childish.” She handed Akaashi the journal. Akaashi had to take off his headphones when he saw that his journal was being thrust into his face, he dropped his pencil and turned around only to be met with her. Even though she seemed to be upset with him, she still looked beautiful.

Akaashi looked confused, so she clarified, “Ghosting? Really? You could have just said you didn’t want to be friends.” Her tone is sharp and penetrating.

It wasn’t the being friends part, it was the part where he wanted her to be entirely his. An overwhelming desire to attach her to him in all senses. He swallows and takes the journal back. He wants to ask what her thoughts were, and what she came to understand about him. Yet, he knew she was upset with him. He would be upset with her too if she did what he had done.

He had completely blown his chance, hadn’t he? The one woman who had read the teenage journal and still wanted to be friends. Maybe her knowing more about him wouldn’t be too bad at all, maybe that’s exactly what he needed.

“I don’t want to be friends.” She starts to sniffle, she quickly runs the sleeve of her shirt onto her eyes. Akaashi rushed the next part out, “I can’t be just friends with you I’m afraid. I think I want more.”

She blinks rapidly before regaining composure and putting her hand on his shoulder. “I think you need to sort out your feelings. Because if you really wanted more, you wouldn’t have treated me like I was disposable. You wouldn’t have ignored me. So, figure it out, and let me know what the result is. You know where to find me.”

She rubs her thumb on his cheek in a parting gesture. He remembers when she did that for the first time, around three months ago. They were at a library he had found in a far corner of Tokyo, and he was talking about a book that Udai hadn’t understood at all, which made him irate that Udai could skim over such an important story. They were in their little section, with dim lights and a stack of books they wanted to talk about.

As he was waving his hands around, trying to show her the pages and lines he was referencing in the book, when she reached over and brushed her thumb against his cheek, the rest of her fingers resting along his jaw and lower cheek. Her palm barely contacts his chin.

“You had a little mark there. But I think it’s just a cute little freckle, it won’t wipe off.” She brushes against his skin again, and when the mark doesn’t disappear, she leans back into her chair, waiting for Akaashi to begin again. When he starts talking again about the book, he keeps stumbling and stuttering over his words.

She gave a small wave before leaving his office space. Akaashi's co-workers just turned their heads to watch her exit, heads sticking out of cubicles, and then in a blink, they all turned to face Akaashi with disappointed faces, shaking their heads and clicking their tongues. Then, they went back to work and Akaashi was sitting at his desk with his journal brazenly staring at him.

He had one chance to make it right. So he set aside Udai’s manga draft, knowing he could go through it in less than an hour, and he picked up his pencil, writing one more entry in his journal.

He can only wait a week before giving it to her when he shows up to her apartment unannounced. Miwa opens the door and rolls her eyes, but letting him in.

“I gotta run and get some new specialty scissors. I’m not afraid to use them in an unintended use if I get back and she’s crying.” Miwa motions her fingers from her eyes to his. Akaashi gives her a thumbs up.

When she comes out of her room, she inspects him on the couch, he’s holding his journal.

“Read the last page for me. It’s an extended edition.” He jokes somewhat. She sits next to him and reads his ‘extended edition’. DATE: XX-XX-XX TITLE: Micawber; An Eternal Optimist

I was stupid. Believe me, I know I was a whole idiot and a half.

Here’s to giving up realism and embracing optimism.

You knew who I was before I knew you. I was scared that you would know too much. That’s hilarious, right? I wanted you to know me, and yet there I was completely afraid to let you get too close, but you were already close. It’s not just what words were contained here, although I re-read my journal and there are definitely some things I should’ve self-censored.

You were what made the entire difference. Your ability to perceive me as a whole rather than a sum of my parts was the distinction that was made.

With you, I truly am a protagonist. Not a side character anymore, but the main character who shares the limelight with his love interest. Although, I have a distinct feeling that you may be more of a main character than me. But, I know you’d say you digress.

In your journal, you mentioned once how you believed that a good story can compel you to be changed. How characters drive a real tangible change in a person. Did I do that for you? At least a little bit? I know I was changed when I read your story, I realized that maybe I liked you a little more than just liking you.

Please don’t think I am mean. I was cruel, rude, and inconsiderate to you. Ghosting for more than a month because I was worried is likely going down in my personal history as the worst thing I’ve ever done to you. But I’m dedicated to never doing anything bad to you ever again. I’ll never hurt you, and I’ll never lie.

I’m optimistic that you like me a little. Maybe even a little more than like.

So, tell me why I still feel worried. Is this feeling even worried? Or is this what love feels like? The desperation to not hurt you in any way. The pang of knowing that I am myself with you. And, yes, the physical magnetism that makes me feel just a little more like a teenager when I am with you.

I think this feeling is love. I just think it’s so overwhelming that I ended up making it into a negative emotion instead of what it is.

I’m sorry. Forgive me or I really won’t know what to do with all these feelings that flit around in my heart for you.

I love you.

- Yours, Akaashi Keiji

She knew he was watching her. She had her nose in his journal, reading what he had written for her.

“Can you get me a tissue?” Akaashi handed her one. He was ready to say his goodbyes.

When she closes the journal, he looks at her with curious eyes. She smiles.

“Best book ever.”

He grabs her by the back of her head and kisses her. She held his face in her hands, tilting her head slightly and he hummed into her mouth. His nose was cold on her face, but the warmth of his mouth contrasted with the frostiness. His other hand grips her hip, trying to pull her closer to him. Despite them being already so close, he wanted her to envelop him.

Then he was pressing her down onto her couch, both hands on her hips. When she wrapped a leg around his waist he thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest. Her head was on the arm of the couch, and he had moved from her mouth to the side of her face to her neck, to right above her bra, leaving a trail of his making. He was glad she was wearing a low-cut top because it made it easier for him to pull the shirt down so he could reach more of her skin.

In contrast to him, she felt soft and pliable. She also felt wholly his in this moment.

Her hands were in his hair, pulling the strands in a mellow methodology, not wanting to hurt him almost. She wanted his hair just a little longer, but the short hair tickled her neck, so she was happy with the length it was currently.

The top of her chest was creamy and supple. He let his tongue brush out once, twice, before going back up to kiss her again. He licked at her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth just enough for him to run his tongue into it for a moment, before biting at her bottom lip in thanks.

“You taste like sugar.” He was hot in the face and had some hair sticking to his forehead. She pushed his bangs back tenderly, his chest was still rapidly moving up and down trying to catch his breath. He went in for another kiss, still short of breath, so she had to intervene.

“Slow down loverboy, you need to breathe, or else you can’t keep going.” She laughs a little and he can feel the way her body carries the laugh from her chest to her stomach. She moves in close to his ear, “And that would be a zero-sum game for us both.”

He nods, and she draws his head down to rest on her chest.

“Is this better or worse than that fantasy you had about making out with a girl in the backseat of a car?” She recalls one of his entries from his journal.

He rubs his face against her, inhaling deeply. “This is way better. But we’re still gonna kiss in the back of my jeep, and soon at that.”

She hums a little in response.

The next year, Akaashi and her moved in together, Miwa was glad because now she could finally walk around her apartment without clothes on (despite her doing that when they were roommates anyway). Bokuto was glad to see that Akaashi finally had someone to read his confusing books and that he didn’t have to read another one ever again. Udai would occasionally make a joke about if it didn’t work out with Akaashi she had a place in his awaiting arms. Akaashi threatened to work for another manga magazine and Udai would be stuck using only Grammarly. That usually shut Udai up pretty quickly.

They both kept detailed journals. And when they finished them, they would let the other read them. Akaashi let her read all his past journals as well, and she let him read her diaries.

Maybe love isn’t what you expected at first, maybe it's not even a feeling you want to feel at that moment, or for that person. But love works out for the best in the end. Whether that’s with a best friend, a lover, a child, or even a book.

For Akaashi Keiji, love meant letting someone know him better than he knew himself. It also meant being okay with letting her read his diary.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hello! I wanted to know if you knew any good warm ups/exercises to sort of get into a characters head?

Exercises to Get You Into Your Character's Head

Write a journal entry about an important event from their POV

Do a magazine style interview with them

Write a “reality show” follow-around chronicling a normal day

Take some personality tests/quizzes from their POV

Write a short story based on a moment or event in their past

Have your character write a letter to another character (or to you)

Swap them into a scene from a favorite story/movie and write it

Do some writing prompts starring your character

Create a character playlist and note why each song fits them

List 5 things you love and 5 things you dislike about them

List 5 things you have/don’t have in common with them

Make a list of words that fit them and make a Wordle

Write a poem or song about your character

Make a character "mood board"/"aesthetic

Make the vision board you think your character would create

Present your character's "TedTalk" ... what would they talk about?

Act out important scenes as though you were your character

Drop your character into a strange situation to see how they react

Happy writing!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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