#Josephine was just MEAN. XD

[animezinglife]

You know Cullen's doing something right as Commander of the Inquisition when his worst tactical error in the game doesn't result in a large loss of human life, but loss of his own clothes.

Truly exemplary leadership.

[thedeafprophet]

List of people who are afraid of Josephine:

Mr Cups

Elias

[mossmx]

I really love how the Chocolat book is making me think 24/7 of men who ♡ get pegged

(imo it is canon that Roux had sex with Armande, but either way I think the man loves getting pegged — otoh, Reynaud should totally get pegged and would love it but he's too repressed to even entartain the idea... like, he sees confident women and immediately perks up! XD Not to talk about the dreams and so on...)

just 7 pm men-who-get-pegged appreciation hour I guess 😌

[jojo-schmo]

what does the t in jojo t schmo mean

Thank you, I’ve been secretly hoping someone would ask me someday >:D

So in reference to this post I drew of a “mugshot” of myself with my full sona name, I’m treating Schmo like my last name and T as my middle initial:

………The T stands for “The.” xD

Jojo The Schmo. :3

So my full name is Josephine irl :3 I really like my name! But somewhere along the way I started picking up a bunch of nicknames given to me by others! And Jojo became my favorite one :)

And then like ten years ago I heard the phrase “joe schmo” being used in a sentence and it just suddenly clicked for me that jojo-schmo could be a really fun online username. So that’s where that came from! Divine inspiration hehehe.

…but I do really like the Jojo anime! I watch it with my dear friend every time I go to her house but we’ve been busy so progress has been slow. I’m close to halfway done with Diamond is Unbreakable! But Joseph Joestar has been my favorite so far (not just because our names are almost the same haha, he’s just such a goofball and I respect a man who can break the laws of matter to pull a tommy gun out from behind his back. And his hamon powers are really funny because it sounds like the Spanish word for ham lol)

If I meet anyone in real life and introduce myself as Jojo, and they respond with, “had any bizarre adventures lately?” They instantly become my friend haha. It’s happened a few times already. It’s reason to love my name even more ;P

[propenseverbosity]

Reflection Ruesday

omg I actually checked tumblr before 2am this time XD

RULES: Go through your writing, art, gifs, etc. that you started but never finished and find something you love. Brush it up a bit if you want and share it.

Thanks for the tag @basedonconjecture ^_^ (hi!)

Open tag for anyone who wants to participate <3

I've got a bunch of Inquisition fics I've never finished, mostly because I wanted to actually finish them before posting anything, and then veilguard came out and, well... here we are.

So, these are my boys! I love them, I miss them, I will go back to writing them one day.

(Not necessarily Rated Mature but they do be making out a little.)

-----------------------------------------------

Dorian had several titles in Skyhold. Anyone who'd befriended the Inquisitor simply used his name. Those who had a passing familiarity referred to him as ‘Lord Pavus’ if they liked him, or simply ‘The Tevinter’ if they didn’t. Josephine, however, remained somewhere in the middle.

“Lord Dorian?” She said to announce herself as she stepped into his alcove of the library.

“Something I can do for you?” he asked.

“Your presence has been requested in the Inquisitor's quarters at your earliest convenience.” Josephine continued writing something on her clipboard as she spoke, refusing to look up.

“Has it now?” Dorian smirked. “Is this an official request? Or is he truly too busy to ask me himself?”

“Er- I believe it is official business.” Josephine shifted uneasily. “As far as I know.”

“And what else do you know? What aren't you telling me?”

Josephine glanced around to make sure no one was listening. “Just between you and I, the Inquisitor did not seem to be in a very agreeable mood last I saw him.” she whispered. “I tried to get him to confide in me, but he only wishes to speak to you.”

“I see.”

“All I mean to say is I would tread carefully, if I were you.”

“I solemnly promise to be gentle with him.” Dorian all but rolled his eyes.

Aramil often conducted business in his quarters, mostly on his balcony overlooking the mountains. He claimed he liked to appear approachable in meetings, especially with those he considered friends. Dorian always suspected it was a flimsy excuse to prevent unwanted questions on how often Dorian himself was called into 'meetings'. Surely they had to know it wasn't always business. The Tevinter mage wasn't exactly known for his advice on Orlesian politics.

When Dorian climbed the stairs to the Inquisitor's room, he found the elf out on the balcony, leaning heavily against the railing as he surveyed his empire.

“You're sending your advisors to summon me now?” Dorian chided, as he sauntered across the room. “Credit where it's due, it was certainly a creative way to get me to your quarters, but I'm not sure it was the most subtle. Poor Josephine could hardly look me in the eye.”

Aramil didn't respond. No witty comment or playful quip as he turned around. Unfortunately, Josephine was right. He didn't seem very pleased at all.

“Are you alright?” Dorian asked.

“Yes.” he nodded, forcing a smile that wasn’t fooling anyone. “I’m glad you’re here.”

The Inquisitor’s words seemed genuine, even if his eyes told another story. Clearly something was bothering him. With the Inquisition, it could’ve been any number of things that he couldn’t, or shouldn’t talk about. While Dorian couldn’t do much to help with the war effort, he was nothing if not a helpful distraction from it all.

“If you wanted to be alone, amatus, all you had to do was ask.” Dorian added, stepping closer when he noticed the elf’s lips twitch up into a smile.

Aramil’s eyes fell closed as Dorian leaned in to kiss him. He kept things chaste for the moment, not knowing who all could see them from the courtyard below. Dorian reached for the elf’s hand, gently tugging him back inside to continue.

Once they were safely out of view, he reached up to caress Aramil’s cheek, leaning back in for another kiss. When he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, he slid a hand up Aramil’s chest, curling the other into his long, white hair.

Dorian reluctantly drew back, intending to progress things along, but before he could duck his head to start kissing along the column of his neck, Aramil slumped forward, blocking his movement.

To Dorian’s surprise and confusion, the Inquisitor rested his chin on Dorian’s shoulder, tightening the arms around his back.

It wasn’t quite the passionate embrace he was expecting. Aramil was simply… holding him.

Dorian couldn't remember the last time he'd been hugged this way, especially not by a man he was sleeping with. He couldn't deny how nice it felt to have his lover's arms wrapped around him, but that didn't stop him from standing shock still, hands awkwardly hovering in the air as the Inquisitor held him close.

“Oh dear. Missing me already? You were only in the war room for an hour.” he teased, struggling to keep his composure in the face of such unfamiliar warmth.

A moment's hesitation was clearly enough for the Inquisitor to regret his decision. He quickly pulled back, grimacing to himself. “I’m sorry.”

“You seem… distracted, and not in a good way. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Not really, no.” he finally admitted.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no it’s not you, vhenan.” he said, reaching for Dorian’s hand to punctuate his statement. “I just… don’t think I’m up for anything more right now.” he admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for that. I’m the one who assumed.” Dorian could never be truly angry at his amatus when he wasn’t in the mood, but he couldn’t help feeling a little lost on how to proceed. He settled for giving the elf’s hand a gentle squeeze, wracking his brain on what to do next.

“Well, since I have severely misjudged the purpose of this little meeting of ours, why don't you tell me why you summoned me here?”

Aramil hung his head. “Today has been endless. Constant meetings and negotiations. I’ve barely had a moment to breathe, and then…” he sighed, shaking the fog from his head. “I just needed to see you.”

“And here I am!” Dorian held out his arms with a dramatic flourish. “See how easy that was?”

“Yes.” Aramil replied, with the barest hint of a smile. “Thank you. For being here.”

In all the chaos of the Inquisition, Dorian couldn’t imagine how Aramil managed to stay as calm as he did. Their fearless leader held the weight of the entire organization on his slim shoulders, but few saw the man behind the rather intimidating station.

Dorian didn’t feel worthy enough to be one of them.

“What can I do?” he asked, ready to do anything his amatus asked of him.

“Would you stay for a while?”

[seigephoenix]

happy friday! for your Hawke/Trevelyan, how about “Ohh, so you think I’m cute when I’m angry? Well, get ready because I’m about to be gorgeous!”

Happy Friday!! For @dadrunkwriting I love this ship with all my heart, but in Inquisition they got some baggage to get over. Just a little bit. Good luck Hawke, you will need it! XD

Content Warning: anger, pettiness, pregnancy mention Length: ~1k

“I don’t honestly think I’ve ever seen Trevelyan that mad,” Cullen said as they watched Alissa Trevelyan storm out of the entry doors and towards the battlements.  Leliana tapped her lips with her fingers as she had a feeling who Varric’s contact was, and Alissa Trevelyan was going to wring both their necks.

“All I know is that if Varric brought who I think he did, he won’t have to worry about Cassandra trying to kill him.”  Josephine looked over at Leliana as she pieced it together and they both stared after Trevelyan’s back.

“Maker’s breath, he invited Hawke, didn’t he?”  Both women burst into chuckles at Cullen’s outburst.

Alissa was furious!  She didn’t think she had ever been this hurt and angry and betrayed since the night Hawke left Kirkwall.  Scratch that, she was more pissed now.  She had more to worry about than just herself and the ragtag group Hawke had gathered in Kirkwall.  She had hundreds of people to look out for, and that was quickly building up into the thousands by the day.  She had Zephyr to worry over and Bethany.  What was she going to say to Bethany about Garrett being here?  She blinked back tears at the stinging in her chest, the burning that never truly went away when Hawke left.  She took a deep breath and smoothed down the dark blue fabric of her tunic.  Varric was waiting for her at the top of the stairs.

Alissa remembered something Garrett once said to her when they’d been arguing.  She couldn’t even remember what started the damn argument, but they’d had it after spending the night together.  He’d said something to the effect of you’re just so adorable when you’re angry.  Alissa had been stunned at the time and he’d used her distraction to bring her in for kisses, kisses that burned away whatever argument had been on her tongue.  Her reply had been well get ready then Hawke, I’m about to look fucking gorgeous to you!

Not anymore.

“Varric.  Do not tell Hawke who I am until he sees for himself,” she said quietly as she joined Varric’s side.  He looked like he was going to protest.  “You owe me.”  There was a wealth of meaning in that word and Varric knew she was right.  He did owe her, big time.  He agreed to keep her identity a secret as he made his way down to the little balcony that overlooked the courtyard.

Alissa looked over and her throat burned at the sight of that familiar head of black hair.  Her fingers still remembered how soft it was as they ran through it after a night of drinking, or just listening to him talk about his worries.  Garrett had loved her running her fingers through his hair.  Alissa stared down at her palm wincing at the pulsing green light before clenching her fist and dropping it to her side.  She steeled her resolve as she began to descend the steps.

“Hawke.  Meet the Inquisitor is what I’d say.  But you already know her.”  Garrett straightened and whirled around.  He met her eyes and there was anger and pain and ice in them.  Varric rubbed the back of his neck.  “I’m going to go and avoid the Seeker.  Come find me when you’re done.”  Alissa stepped aside to let him pass and he gave her a sympathetic look, but she avoided looking at him.  Of all the things he regretted, it was hurting one of the most loyal friends he had in Kirkwall.

“Hawke.” Alissa’s voice was ice cold as she stepped off the stairs and reached his side.  “I know you faced Corypheus in the Warden prison.  I wasn’t with you, but Merrill told me everything when you got back.  Are you certain he was dead?”

“Alissa.”  The words died on his lips as she turned to face him angrily.

“It is Lady Trevelyan or Inquisitor.”  He flinched away from her words and Alissa felt the band holding back her anger snap.  “Why do you look so hurt Hawke?  You left me!  You left me to fend for myself in Kirkwall!” Alissa kept her voice low to avoid drawing too much attention to themselves.

“I had to.  The Divine was going to send an Exalted March.  I couldn’t let them hurt you.”  Alissa clenched her jaw and sent him a scathing look.

“No, you just left the rest of Kirkwall coming for my throat.”  Hawke’s jaw dropped and he scrambled to produce a reply.

“Surely.  Surely, they’d see that it wasn’t your fault, Alissa.”  She sent him a nasty glare that held all the contempt she felt for being abandoned.

“Do you think the nobility cared?  That the merchants cared?  No!  All they cared about was having a damned target to unleash all their anger on.  All that work I did creating reforms, protecting the people from the growing paranoia and tension in Kirkwall.  Gone in the blink of an eye thanks to Anders.  You chose to spare him and I respected that decision.  The rest of Kirkwall knew how close we were Hawke, you weren’t there.  So who do you think they came to for answers?”

“Alissa, I’m sorry.” Garrett reached for her hands and paused when he saw the flickering green light across her palm.  “The mark.”

“Is the Anchor and is the key to sealing the Breach in the sky.”  She pulled her hand away before he could touch her.  “You may stay here Hawke.  I’ll make sure you have quarters for however long you are staying.”  She turned and faced the steps.  “Where is your Grey Warden contact that Varric mentioned?”

“He’s in Crestwood, hiding out there to avoid the red Templars.”  Alissa nodded and took a breath.

“We shall get ready to head there.”  She debated telling him the next part.  She had to wonder if Hawke would leave her again, if he did then he would leave Zephyr as well.  Hurting him…  She wouldn’t tolerate anyone hurting her son but Hawke deserved to know.  And she was hurt just enough to be petty about it.

“You should know Hawke.  I was three months pregnant when you left Kirkwall after the Chantry explosion.  Once we deal with Crestwood and your Warden contact, I’ll introduce you to your son.”  Alissa headed up the stairs leaving Hawke staring at her back in disbelief.

[bellaralutare]

I just saw your Shepard, Josie, in the tags and IIIIIIIIIII am on the floor. THE FLOOR. what. WHAT. i don't. HOW. how???????? how. john travolta looking around the room .gif WHAT. please understand this is intended as a compliment but it is also entirely comprised of bewilderment. i don't understand how it is even possible for your shepard to look like that. i don't know how you did it, but you definitely did. amazing. truly. what a time to be alive.

This ask has been on my mind ever since i woke up today. And i mean that in a good way. xD Hmm anyway i can't take all the credit for Josie's looks as i got her head from dai it's Josephine Montilyet... And i just fitted her head for mass effec to my Shepard and alas Josie Shepard was born. :D

[defaultjane]

How about...

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

"Just because you can doesn’t mean you should."

“You weren’t supposed to hear that!”

“You’re really good at that.”

Any of the above for Josephine and a character of your choice? :D

I have no idea what is going on in this story. xD

[bravelywego]

DA: Inquisition characters the muses would get along with best:

Please note: This list assumes that my muses are meeting wiith the Inquisition people post-Bravely Default and post-Bravely Second, or else there'd be NO way that Fiore and Geist would be able to get along with honestly anyone XD

Janne:

Cole - Both are fast and efficient in battle, Cole with his daggers and Janne with his fencing skills. Janne needs some time to get over the weirdness of Cole just popping in and out of the place and so on, but recognizes that the other means well and just wants to help.

Iron Bull - Fighting buddies. Also, Janne would fully support Bull going full Tal-Vashoth (as Janne would probably have a LOT of questions about the Qun).

Varric - Varric seems like a guy that has a ton of info and Janne is always seeking answers, so this would work out okay. Janne will absolutely suck at playing Wicked Grace though, so he never plays.

Sera - Janne would appreciate her worldview to an extent I think, and her honesty.

Kamiizumi:

Josephine - Josephine is a resourceful individual and Kamiizumi fully respects that. I also feel like both would end up gossiping about each other's companions and other things happening about them, and sometimes you need a friend for that.

Leilana - As Kamiizumi has experience working in the shadows, he and Leilana are bound to get along at least in terms of a working relationship. Kamiizumi's military expertise combined with Leilana's own knowledge and secrets will make them a great collaboration.

Cassandra - Kamiizumi can relate to her sense of responsibility and so on

Iron Bull - Kamiizumi likely won't partake in drink when hanging out with the Iron Bull, but spars? Heck yes. Go for it. Also, the Chargers would remind Kamiizumi of his own Black Blades back in Luxendarc. (And yes, Kamiizumi wouild probably support Bull going Tal-Vashoth vs. staying loyal to the Qun - Kamiizumi knows from firsthand experience that unquestioned obedience can have a price).

Blackwall - The sense of duty that comes with being a Grey Warden would intrigue Kamiizumi, make him ask Blackwall more about it...and then Kamiizumi's stunned when he finds out the truth about Blackwall and would try to encourage him to be on a more redemptive path.

Cullen - Kamiizumi has his concerns about Cullen's experiences with lyrium, especially if the latter ends up going back on it. Both have been through some rough war stuff, they could probably bond over that.

Geist:

Dorian - As fellow magic users who have very much have picked faults with the environments they were raised in (Geist with the Crystal Orthodoxy, Dorian with Tevinter), both would have a lot to relate to and gripe about together while still hoping and working toward some kind of redemption for said places.

Sera - Sera's blunt honesty is something Geist would appreciate, very much so.

Solas - Fellow magic users. Both have done some unorthodox things. Assuming Geist can put aside his sadism and torture long enough, he and Solas might actually get along to an extent.

Cole - Geist is confused about what Cole is, exactly, but hey, it could be interesting to interact with a spirit....human...demon?

Cassandra - Either they will get along or they will semi-hate each other at first, purely because of how unpredictable Geist can be. However, once they get to know each other, they could have some interesting conversations...

Fiore:

Dorian - Fellow magic users? Check. Tend to be on the fancy side? Check. Both tend to ambitious and push for certain outcomes with varying degrees of success.

Iron Bull - Drinking buddies, absolutely. They can talk of past battles and other interesting experiences.

Solas(?) - Okay, either these two will get along or they will HATE each other. There is very little chance of an inbetween. However, purely academically, Fiore would be interested to know what Solas knows about the Fade and so on.

Vivienne - Social manipulation to reach the top? They have that in common. They might try to achieve it a little differently, but hey, the power of connections can be strong.

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

1. I would like to know.

Thank you for the ask! From this ask game.

How did you choose their name?

That's a fun question and it's kind of a mixed bag, so let's go:

Caldyn: Probably a GW2 name generator

Seyonna: Borrowed from a book I love

Breannan: Also a name generator, just not sure if GW2 or baby names lol

Lily: Hey what could I name a plant person ok nailed it

Gawyn and Craig: Probably also a name generator. Can't remember.

Josephine: Back in the day for a browser RPG I made a char with that name which I wanted to abbreviate as "Joy" (she was possessed by a demon that wanted her to kill herself so he could take over the body 🥰) Took the name and ran with it.

Valadan: Also borrowed from a book I love.

Tassilo and Pascal: Two of my pets

Damien: Savatage - Damien

Merridy: Baby names site, I wanted a name that has some kind of musical meaning, which has nothing to do with her character at all lol

Riordan: Baby names site, but it was for one of my neopets and I just recycled it XD

Cedric: I think that was the barkeeper or merchant in the browser game I used to play a lot

Eveline: She's much nicer than the resi one...

Gaston: No one hits like Gaston 🎶

Eilis: One of my neopets

Finnian: One of my real pets

Ross: *shrug* It just happened

Lichen: They have green hair. I wanted to name them Moss and that was too close to Ross, and then I remembered Riordan's rant how stupid Lichens are

Irina: She picked her nickname first and I realized I needed the initials I.V. so I went on a baby names hunt

Greer and Decima: Listen, this world boss event sucks and I hate it. At first, I wanted to kill them both, but there's a certain hilarity to only killing one of them (which would make the event fail)

Crystal: I was replaying GW story at that time and arrived in the crystal desert.

Livia: I was replaying GW story at that time and got kind of annoyed by her.

Luca: Also one of my pets

Laurent: French baby names site

Aurelia: Pretty sure I played too much GW and it sounded similar to Aurene.

Mathias (Gabrel): A GW2 raid boss lol

Leon/Corrie/Cecelia/Marian/Felicia/Ed/Brad: *shrug*

A few others are named after friends, enemies, or inanimate objects IRL, which I won't list for reasons. All surnames usually come from a name generator, because I hate surnames.

[nightingaletrash]

me @ lyris: stop trying to date half of your inner circle damnit

[thedeafprophet]

character asks 3, 7, 14 for the trio?

3. What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

Role in the story, for all three. Came long before personality, appearace, or name.

Before all else, characters are more of like... an essence to me? In part too because i can't visualize lol. Characters exist first as an abstract, a concept alone, before later being named and designed.

For the trio, they all first existed as means to explore their respective ambitions, and their individual personalities and stories came afterwards.

7. What is an aspect of their appearance that you like the most?

Jamie

Their freckles for sure!

Absolutely one of my favourite parts to draw, i just adore drawing freckles.

...and i also like that they're fat <3

Josephine

Oh i don't get to draw them often or maybe i should make more scenarios to draw them more often but i adore Josephine's stretch marks!!

[second drawing by @the-dye-stained-socialite UwU]

they're nice to draw, both from the pregnancy aspect and from Josie's EDS, and i just possess such affection <3 <3 <3

I also really love drawing her hair and and her glasses ^^

Alex

Arms.....him face. I really like drawing Alex's Lack Of Expression too. just fits for him. I also really love his stubble and- okay i love everything about all my ocs appearances XD

In particular ive really gotten into drawing Alex's hand scars lately

I think they tell a lot about him and his experiences just by Being There, which is such an interesting facet to a character design.

14. Do you have any quotes tied to the character, either from the story itself or from another source that fit them?

Oh I Have So Many. Ill be good and just pick a few here but just know i Love quotes.

Jamie

Josephine

Alex

The trio together

Ask game from here

[noire-pandora]

Hello, everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve shared WIps around here but I’m hoping to get back on my screeching horse. This is a bit from a piece I’m trying to write for @rosella-writes ​  Fingers crossed i’ll nail the Virelan/Solas/Elluin dynamic hehe.

"Oh, spare me the title," Elluin replied as the silence grew heavy and Solas turned to quietly ask a question she did not want to answer. The thought of speaking the hidden truth of her heart frightened her more than Solas' piercing gaze, and Elluin reached for the only way she knew to defend herself. "I licked your nipple, I think I deserve for you to call me by my name."

Mockery. A certain way to annoy Solas. Not the outcome she had planned for.

Solas sucked his teeth when Virelan huffed her amusement "Do not change the subject. Why are you here?"

Elluin flinched under his searching stare, his stormy eyes dusted with purple flecks digging through the flimsy barrier of dirty humour she had built to quell the onslaught of guilt and worry over Virelan's fate.

"Solas, she doesn't need a reason to be here. She can do what she wants." Virelan winced and propped herself up on her elbows to shift her position. Elluin rushed to her side, hands outstretched, ready to help her, but Virelan pushed forward until her head reached the headboard. She leaned against it, her eyes closed, the muscles of her jaw tense.

"No, she cannot. If the Inquisitor is not where her presence is required, the world will be in peril. If I recall correctly, Josephine warned you not to avoid today's assembly."

"Just because she's dodging a meeting, it doesn't mean the world will end."

"It is not about—"

"Solas, can't you cut me some slack?" Elluin snapped and took a few steps back to spare Virelan's ears from the rest of the loud words to follow. Vexed by Solas' insistence to yank the truth, she refused to acknowledge her fear, even when Virelan tilted her head to the right, harbouring a curious glint in her eye. "Maybe I'm just—maybe I'm tired of being in a room full of humans, and I want to be close to the people I love." Elluin moved closer to Virelan's bed when she let out another amused huff. "And maybe I'd like to hear you speak a few elvhen words in your dulcet voice."

Mockery. Again. How she managed to annoy Solas every time, Elluin didn't know.

Tag list under the read more. Let me know if you don’t want me to tag you anymore/ if ya wanna be tagged every Wednesday. Yes, I have a list xD

@oxygenforthewicked ​​ | @emerald-amidst-gold ​​| @sidhelives ​​ | @kemvee ​​ |  @midnightprelude ​​| @fandomn00blr ​​ |  @hobo-apostate ​​ | @in-arlathan ​​ | @ashalle-art ​ |  @barbex ​​  | @rakshadow ​​ | @pinkfadespirit ​​ | @dreadfutures ​​|  @a11sha11fade ​​ | @blarrghe ​​| @crackinglamb ​​ | @potatowitch ​​| @wildercrow ​​ @musetta3 ​​  @sinsbymanka ​​​ |  @rosella-writes ​ | @kittynomsdeplume ​​ | @johaeryslavellan ​​ | @roguelioness ​​ | @inquisitoracorn ​ |  @charlatron ​​|  @a-shakespearean-in-paris ​​|   @isk4649 ​​ |  @charmcity-jess ​​ | @raflesia65 ​​ |  @thedastrash ​​| @starsandskies ​​|  @fiadhaisteach ​​|  |  @the-dreadful-canine ​​ |  @aymayzing ​​ |  @kumaronoa ​​| @knuttydraws ​​| @pookydraws ​​ | @aricazorel ​​ |  @khajiithasnowares ​​|  @effelants ​​  @thehedgehogat221b ​​​  

[wildercrow]

In honor of Blackwall... Sidhia + Blackwall + "Kitchen is on fire"... what could go wrong? XD

YESSSS thank you for giving mean excuse to write these two, I love their found family dynamic but I don't get many excuses to write them.

For @dadrunkwriting

~*~*~

Rating: General Characters: Sidhia Lavellan, Blackwall Relationships: Inquisitor & Blackwall (and implied Inquisitor/Josephine) Genre: Domestic Fluff Word Count: 1213 Content Warnings: Dragon Age Inquisition/Trespasser spoilers, Spoiled (moldy) food, Minor kitchen fire (no injuries) AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35775547

~*~*~

“Is there any particular reason you asked me to help with this?” Blackwall asks, warily eyeing the ingredients laid out before them.

“Well, the alternative was one-armed cooking by myself,” Sidhia points out, waving around their stump to illustrate their point.

“No, the alternative was asking the kitchen staff for help so you could cook something actually edible,” Blackwall argues.

“It’s a birthday gift, though,” the former Inquisitor counters gently. “Josie eats food made by the kitchen staff all the time. The idea is to make her something special. From us.”

Blackwall grimaces, still unconvinced, “It’s a nice sentiment, but I think she might appreciate food that actually tastes good.���

“Give yourself some credit,” Sidhia gives their friend’s back an encouraging pat. “You make great camping food.”

“Not sure if you’ve noticed, but this is not a campfire,” he eyes the fancy stove warily.

“Shouldn’t that just make things easier?” they ask.

“In my experience? No, using unfamiliar equipment does not make things easier,” he replies.

“We’ll figure it out,” they insist. They look up at him eagerly, fidgeting with that green rock necklace they always wear.

As much as Blackwall is certain this will end in disaster – or at least in a disappointing birthday dinner for Josephine – he’s glad to see his friend in such high spirits. They’ve been struggling more than usual, lately, and it’s nice to see a smile on their face. So against his better judgment, he shrugs and says, “Sure, why not? Let’s see what happens. Do we have a recipe we’re supposed to follow for this… spicy fish thing?”

“Well… there were three recipes that seemed kind of similar, but not exactly…” Sidhia tries to explain.

“So that’s a no. Got it,” Blackwall laughs. He’s a bit relieved, really. He hates working with recipes. Trial and error is more his style.

“…yeah, that’s a no,” Sidhia admits with a sheepish chuckle.

“Great. Tell me what we have and we’ll… figure something out.”

“Well, uh…” Sidhia gestures at the ingredients, “we have fish? And spices?”

“I would certainly hope so, since we’re cooking spicy fish,” Blackwall responds.

“Also some tomatoes. I have no idea how Antivan cooking works,” they admit. “It’s nothing like Dalish cooking, and I was too young to learn much cooking when I was living in the Alienage, so I’m mostly just guessing.”

“Well, that makes two of us, then,” Blackwall says with an affectionate huff. “This is weird fish. Is this frozen? It’s the middle of summer!”

“There’s an ice rune freezer here!” Sidhia declares excitedly. “It keeps things frozen so they stay good for months.”

“Interesting,” Blackwall raises an eyebrow, “but that still doesn’t tell us how to cook frozen fish.”

“I guess we just turn the heat up higher?” Sidhia hypothesizes.

“Or leave it on the fire for longer,” Blackwall says.

“The stove?”

“The… yes. The stove,” he grunts, warily eyeing the stove again.

“Should we season it… first? Or after it’s cooked?” they ask. “In my clan we seasoned things first, but…”

“It’s frozen.”

“Yes, that.”

Blackwall isn’t sure what else to say, so he simply shrugs and sets to work on the fish. He starts by grabbing a skillet and pouring a generous helping of olive oil in – maybe a bit ore olive oil than he intended, but it’s probably fine – before turning to the fish… usually he would grease the fish directly before rubbing on the seasoning, but he doubts that will accomplish much when the fish is frozen. So instead, he grabs the fish fillets and plops them into the oil-filled skillet one by one before grabbing the unlabeled spices on the counter and inspecting them. “What are these?” he asks.

“I’m… not really sure,” Sidhia replies. “I just grabbed the ones that smelled spicy.”

“Good enough for me,” Blackwall says with another shrug, sniffing them each before shaking them out onto the fish. Once the fish is… seasoned (?), he sets about stoking a fire in the stove. Once he deems it hot enough, he takes a step back and brushes his hands together in satisfaction. “Now I reckon we just sit back and wait until it’s time to flip the fish.”

“How do we know when it’s time to flip the fish?” Sidhia asks, eyeing the stove with deeply relatable apprehension as they once again fidget with their necklace.

Blackwall doesn’t really know the answer to that, so he settles for, “We’ll… just keep an eye on it.”

Which proves easier said than done, because the moment there’s a lull in activity, Sidhia launches into a ramble about their herb garden, which thoroughly distracts both of them from their cooking. Before they know it, their conversation is interrupted by the smell of smoke and burning spices. They turn to look at the stove and see flames leaping up from their fish and licking at the shelves above.

“Oh no!” Sidhia gasps, instinctively casting a barrier to contain and smother the fire. They both cough on the abnormally spicy smoke, so Sidhia tosses up another barrier around themself and Blackwall and cleanses the air inside with what Blackwall suspects is Dalish magic.

“Good save,” he says, removing the skillet from the stove as soon as the fire is out and the smoke has dissipated enough for the barriers to come down. The shelves are slightly singed and the skillet and food are ruined, but everything else seems unharmed.

Sidhia visibly wilts at the sight of their ruined cooking. “I can’t even… I can’t…” tears well in their big brown eyes, “I just wanted to do this one nice thing.”

“Come on, now, it’s not that bad,” Blackwall says, grabbing a fork to stab a crispy black fish fillet with, lifting it up and taking a bite. It absolutely is that bad, but he refuses to let that show. He somehow manages to keep a straight face as he chews, even as the fish disintegrates into vaguely spicy charcoal dust in his mouth.

That startles a snort of laughter out of the distressed elf, so Blackwall accepts his fate and continues eating, polishing off the entirety of the most disgusting fish fillet he’s ever had the misfortune of eating. But it makes Sidhia smile, so it’s worth the suffering.

“I think I’ll just eat some tomatoes,” they announce, their voice still watery but with a hint of laughter in it now. “Might as well, since it’s not like we need them for the fish anymore.” They begin dejectedly shoving cherry tomatoes in their mouth.

Blackwall clears his throat, “Are those moldy?”

Sidhia glances at the tomato in their hand, which is dotted with fuzzy white patches, and drops it with a yelp. “Uggghhh…” they droop forward and sadly lay their head on the counter, a safe distance away from the moldy tomatoes. “This is a disaster.”

“I hate to say I told you so, but…”

“Maybe we should just take Josie out to a nice restaurant,” Sidhia proposes, defeated but hopeful. “She’s been wanting to try that Rivaini place Isabela and Zevran recommended last time they were in town. I think that’s in our budget.”

“That may be the most sensible thing you’ve said all night,” Blackwall says with a booming laugh. “Here, let me get you some water.”

[emerald-amidst-gold]

Hi, hello! So, since I’m the type of person that sees a pattern and goes, ‘Ooo, does this mean something? o3o’ I did a little investigation as I was playing Inquisition in the wee hours of the morning. XD

Mainly, this is reference to Sera’s Red Jenny table missions and how they’re formatted. It may have been pointed out before by someone else, but I’ve never seen anything on it, so here we go! :3

First off, let’s start with one of the very first mission, though you do get two as soon as you recruit Sera! 

Red Jenny: Inquisition Needs Beeees!

I’m gonna focus on Sera’s note portion since that’s where I saw the pattern:

Know what ruins a party? Bees. I know a man who teaches how to jar them safe but angry. Stingy, no good for honey, but great for throwing! He’s somewhere south.

So, every time I read Sera’s table missions, I’m always pulled towards the way it’s written; it’s in stanzas or something like it. I decided, ‘Let me count the syllables. I wanna see something.’ And that’s what I did!

Again with the syllable count:

Know what ruins a party? Bees. -- 8 I know a man who teaches how -- 8 to jar them safe but angry. -- 7 Stingy, no good for honey, -- 7 but great for throwing! -- 5 He’s somewhere south. -- 4

I’m not really up to speed on poetic tools or techniques, so this just might be something random and quirky because well, it’s Sera. But, I added the syllables up, and got a total of 39. So, just for shits and giggles, I went to the next mission and saw that the format for Sera’s note was, once again, in a stanza-like format.

Red Jenny says, ‘Drop and Grab’ 

For your big-hats, -- 4 Lord whoever says you’re rubbish. -- 8 His servants don’t care, but could. -- 7 Drop a few things for them, -- 6 They’ll give Josephine a surprise. -- 8 I think scrolls or something. -- 6

I did the same counting for the next mission text, and as you can see the syllables aren’t exactly in the same concise pattern as the first one, but when added together they once again equal 39. Okay, so I go, ‘Is there more formatted like this? I need to see if there’s more!’ And yes, there is one more table mission that is formatted in this line to line style. Sadly...my investigation ended as my count began. 

Red Jenny Attends a Party

This guy is a special prick. -- 7 Swats his people around, -- 6 Thinks his sovereigns pay for it. -- 8 Embarrass him at his own party -- 9 (this is where the count went *whistles*) And you please a dozen people. -- 8 People with keys and little else. -- 8

Added together the syllable count is 46. I would have been like, ‘*gasp* Why are they all 39?! Is there a reason?! o3o’ if it had been 39 again, but alas, nope! Still, it was interesting that the first two had the same exact amount and it seems each of Sera’s notes has a habit of using a range of 4-9 syllables in any given line (8 and 7 being the most common). 

I guess what I really want to know is if there is a specific explanation for why Sera writes in this exact format or if it’s just a playful twist with her character! To be honest, I zoned in on it because Solas has a habit of speaking in iambic pentameter, and the banter between him and Sera where he goes, ‘We are no so far apart, you and I.’ made my brain go *pop*. I know there’s meta surrounding Sera saying she could possibly be a reincarnation of Andruil or something like it, but I’ve been digging more into that banter line and my brain is going, ‘If the theory about Solas potentially being a spirit has any substance, maybe he’s commenting that Sera has the same base. It’s theorized that elves may have potentially first been spirits, so maybe he’s trying to draw that out in her to prove something to himself? Hm.’ 

...Anyways, yeah! Thanks for coming to my random corner hour! Just thought I’d share my little investigation! :3 

[sinsbymanka]

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you. 

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection. 

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!! 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.  

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex). 

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves). 

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs. 

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of. 

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely. 

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper. 

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash. 

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin. 

What are your writing strengths? 

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time. 

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything? 

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing. 

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously. 

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art. 

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore. 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are. 

So, my top three fics for THAT reason: 

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do. 

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.  

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3 

And then my overall favorite fic: 

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.