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catsteeth · 8 months ago

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The Caged Bird and The Leased Dog

Sandor Clegane x reader

+:✿ Chapter - 3 ✿:+ Tear Drop

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Summary: You are the daughter of Jon Arryn, you and your father travel to King's Landing with the intention of arranging a marriage for you. You catch a glimpse of The Hound during your first night in Kings Landing and it creates a mutual fascination even if he won't admit it.

CW: SMUT, MINORS DNI, fem reader, oral sex (fem rec), mutual masturbation, slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, alcohol consumption, mention of death, mention of arranged marriage.

Word Count: 4826

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The morning after your last encounter with the Hound in the stables you were woken up by two handmaidens. They dressed you in a gown Cersei had made for you, it was red and gold, embellished with intricate beaded flowers. No matter how many times you asked they wouldn’t tell you why you were being summoned by Cersei.

Your paranoia grew as you walked down the halls. You were more paranoid than ever nowadays.

As you walked into Cersei's chambers, her handmaidens closed the doors behind you.

“Hello, little dove.” She said standing on her balcony. You walked towards her, your hands fidgeting with the fabric of your dress.

“Your grace, thank you for the gown, it is beautiful.” You tried your best to seem relaxed.

“Ah yes, red and gold. Those colors suit you well. That’s good, they will need to.” She said, stepping towards you, playing with a strand of your hair.

“Your grace?” You asked,

“Tell me, have you met my brother?” She asked softly and gently.

“Which-”

“Tyrion, Tyrion Lannister, have you met him?” She cut you off, dropping the piece of hair she played with and sounding suddenly sterner.

“Only passing pleasantries and exchanges, your grace.” You felt your heart race, your palms sweat.

“What do you think of him?” she narrowed her eyes “He has quite a reputation, and his physical appearance does not help it-”

“He’s been nothing but decent to my family and myself, your grace.” You interrupted hoping she would get to the point faster.

“Good, good. That’ll make things easier.” She forced a sympathetic smile.

“Your grace,” Your eyes fluttered. your voice wavered, and your heart raced faster.

“You have been matched. It is the King's will, and you two shall be wed.” She pet your hair softly.

Your throat went dry and you could help but look taken aback.

“I don’t understand,” Your voice cracked and you took a step back.

“You’ll get used to it.” She nodded, “My brother and I don’t have the best relationship but he is gentle with women. He will serve as a good husband. He will give you a child, that’s the best thing a man can give you. Perhaps we can negotiate with Baelish to keep your titles now that he’s betrothed to your mother.”

You didn’t care to correct her that she was your step mother. You stood there with your eyes wide, you didn’t know what to say. You’d found out two devastating truths in one moment. You’d possibly no longer inherit your fathers titles, and you’d be forced into the family that killed your own.

“Don’t you think?” Cersei asserted trying to gain your attention again not so subtly.

“Yes, yes Your Grace.” You faked a smile.

These people killed your uncle no less than a week ago, you had no choice but to accept. It wasn’t even framed as an option. They only wanted to calm you and make you agreeable, so you gave it to them. You didn’t have options.

You did what Sandor would have told you to do. You agreed, and smiled. You gave them what they wanted.

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Your chambers were small in comparison to Cersei’s. It was a constant reminder that you were not home. The sheets were red with golden lions and flowers embroidered into them. The walls are adorned with golden decorations. It was beautiful but nothing like your home, nothing like your room. You couldn’t imagine it, “(Y/N) Lannister '' it didn’t seem right. You are a girl of the vale in the lion's den.

The prospect of marriage became very real, and very near. Tyrion was the best of them, there was no doubt in that fact. However you didn’t even accept Loras’s proposal so why would you accept Tyrion's. But it would seem, you'd have no choice now, neither did Tyrion.

You thought of him every day, and every night. You would find yourself awake at such late hours they weren’t late anymore they were early. You’d dream of his hands, his broad shoulders, his sad eyes framed by a scowling face. You’d feel yourself pulse and you’d be forced to relieve yourself on your pillows or sometimes your hand to feel any kind of relief. You’d wonder if he had done the same, never knowing but he had. As you found yourself beginning to feel that same pressure in between your legs there was a knock upon your door.

“Who is it?” You beckoned, you were more paranoid than ever nowadays, Cersei’s speech just hours before your uncles execution didn't help.

“Your betrothed it would seem.” Tyrion beckoned back. You rolled your eyes and sighed, slightly hoping for Sandor, and not whatever awkward conversation was about to be held.

As you opened the door you gave a half hearted smile, “My Lord.” You greeted me.

He scrunched up his face and waved his hand in dismissal “No need for that, Tyrion is fine, my lady.” He smiled.

“Then enough ‘my lady’, (Y/N) is fine.” You said smiling back, this time more genuine, “Is there something I can help you with, my-” You stopped yourself and corrected “Tyrion.”

“I hoped we could discuss our arrangement.” He said as if he felt guilty. His eyes were kind, soft and gentle.

You nodded in agreement, however you didn’t know what much else was to be said. You began to step into the hall when he held his hand out to you. You were caught somewhat off guard by such a gentle act, you flinched, and it didn’t go unnoticed. You did however take his hand.

He led you to a secluded chamber. There were books strone about, this is the same room where you had stolen the first book of his. As you sat as he poured himself a goblet of wine, he motioned if you’d want some and you shook your head.

“This is awkward,” He said with a forced smile as he sat with his goblet.

“For you, I’d imagine so.” You said with a huff as you crossed your legs and your arms,

“It isn’t for you? Speaking to the man you are being forced to marry?” He said with a chuckle.

“Awkward or not, given what I have endured here, speaking with you is the least painful thing that has afflicted me.”

“I shall take that as a compliment.” He said with a furrowed brow. He made you crack a slight smile.

“Is there something you wished to discuss?” You asked shifting in your seat uncomfortably waiting for him to get to the point.

“Ah” He said as he placed his goblet down, his brain snapping back to the original intent of this meeting. “Well, my Lady-”

“(Y/N)” You corrected unapologetically,

“(Y/N)” He smiled softly, “We are to be wed.” You nodded, in agreement, your face however was still stoic. “I want you to know, I did not want this.” “Well” You inhaled sharply “I did not either. Though I hope I did not disappoint you.” You said with that signature venom in your eyes. You knew in a way that he didn’t mean it in that way, but you never passed up an opportunity to show that you weren’t one to shy from confrontation.

“I did not- You did not.” He stammered and stopped himself. He looked down collecting his thoughts, “I am not disappointed in you. But I believe someone you love should take your hand.” He said with a half hearted smile.

“May I ask you something?” You asked shifting in your seat to lean closer to him. “My father, Lord Arryn. When he brought me here, he brought me here with the intention of marrying me off. My father was not one to go into anything blind. I know he had discussed it, I know he had certain men in mind. Tell me who those men were.”

“You don’t believe he picked me?” He chuckled before seeing your still serious face and continuing, “Your father did consider Ser Loras Tyrell, Renly Baratheon, before his marriage of course. I am sure those would have good matches, though I do believe you might be missing some of those men's favorite parts.” You wanted to laugh but didn’t want to lighten the situation, so you settled for a smirk as you looked away hiding your amusement. “Your father did not want you to wed Joffrey.” His joking tone diminished “Baelish requested consideration, which was denied. Your father clearly cared for your honor.” Your eyes went back to him. You thought of it, Baelish requesting your hand? It seemed strange as you never met the man. “I am sure there were many others who requested your hand.”, He smiled softly.

“But not you?” You grinned

“I would not have embarrassed either of us like that,” He said, sipping from his goblet.

“Embarrassed?” “I would not embarrass you by being wed to a dwarf, and I’d not embarrass myself by being rejected by both you and your father.”

“Peytr Baelish didn’t seem to mind.” You jested, and he cracked a smile. “I don’t care about your height.” You scoffed, “You’ve been nothing but decent towards me and my family.”

“But if I proposed you wouldn’t have accepted.” “No I wouldn’t have.” He nodded “But that’s not because of your height. Or even your reputation. It’s because I don’t know you. Other than the few books of yours I have stolen and the passing exchanges between you, my family, and myself I do not know you.”

“Well we’ve all the time we need to know each other now.” He smirked, “You’ve stolen my books?”

“Four, maybe five.” You responded quickly “Things get awfully dull around here.”

“I suppose they will be our books soon enough.” He tried to jest, “I think I know something about you now. You’re honest, opinionated-” You stopped him

“The king does not like those traits of mine, it would seem.” You said slightly smiling.

“No doubt why he created his engagement... What my nephew has done to your cousin,” He stopped himself and looked at your lip, still slightly bruised from Joffrey’s Name Day. “What he has done to you… it is-” He stammered, unable to find an appropriate word for it, “deplorable.”

“I suppose he will be my nephew as well, soon enough.” You attempted to jest,

“(Y/N),” he said leaning forward, grasping your hand lightly “I promise you- I swear to you, no harm shall come to you.”

“You cannot promise that,”

“I suppose I can’t.” he said looking at your hand in his, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb, “I can promise that I will never harm you. I will do all I can to make you happy.”

You felt your eyes beginning to dissect his words as your brows furrowed in concern. You forced a smile to ease his mind. You placed your hand atop of his that was holding yours. You were genuinely appreciative of his gentleness and his kind words. You should be happy, he was handsome enough. But it was times like this, when another man's hand was on yours when you felt disappointment burrowing in your chest, how you wished it was another man, how you wished it was your man.

“I can assign a handmaiden to be with you at all times when I cannot, they’ll make sure you and Joffrey are far apart-”

“I don’t need a shadow, I can take care of myself” You removed your hand sitting back in your chair.

“I say you can,” He smiled, “I do have something for you, I thought, it might soften the blow.” He said as he sat up and retrieved a silver necklace from his coat pocket. It was a dainty chain that held a silver falconed winged woman who held a large natural pearl. What made it stand out to you even more was a blue sapphire teardrop that came from her eye.

“Valyrian steel.” He said, your eyes went wide as you looked at him, how generous, too generous. “Falcon wings, and blue sapphire for your house.”

“I cannot take that,” You said,

“Hm,” He looked at the necklace in his hand, “Well I cannot wear it.” He grinned holding it out to you again.

You sighed and took it, you smiled at him, “I look forward to getting to know you, Tyrion.”

You actually did.

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After such a long talk with your future husband and the idea of becoming a Lannister made your body run a cold sweat. You ran a bath with lavender to calm yourself but it hardly worked.

As you stood in your chambers, in your white nightgown and soaking wet hair, you looked around at the red and golden interior. The room is adorned with lions and flower embellishments. It was as if they were intentionally rubbing the fact you were misplaced in your face.

You looked for something to ground yourself, you grabbed the necklace that Tyrion gave to you.

You felt the Valyrian steel necklace in your palm. The cold of the metal reminded you of the cold breeze that would rush through the halls of the Eyrie. But then, it reminded you of something else. The metal of chainmail, the metal of armor.

You longed for so much nowadays.

You longed for your mother, father, your brother whom you’d only spent an hour of life with, your room, your birds. All were gone, but you remained.

You did long for one other thing though, one thing that was in reach but still so far. That made it worse, that it was so close and yet you were unable to take it. Your longing for your mothers comfort was easier to accept because it was so unattainable but this, this was so close it made you sick.

Then that sound that becoming too familiar,

Knock, knock, knock, ‘Gods” you thought, wishing everyone would finally leave you alone. You were certain it was some handmaiden that Tyrion promised you. A doting husband he was shaping up to be, how awful.

“Go away.” You beckoned, as you dropped the necklace onto your nightstand.

BAM BAM BAM BAM, the knocks were now banging at your door. You jumped, clutching the thin fabric of your nightgown.

You approached the door slowly, “Who is it,” you asked much gentler this time.

“I could bust this door down if I wanted.” He grumbled through the door. You knew that tone all too well, you dreamt of it enough times.

You relaxed and unlocked the door, opening it just a crack, but he busted his way inside.

“What're you doing-” You began but were cut off by him slamming the door and making his way to a golden pitcher on a small table on the other side of your room.

“Don’t ever open your door for anyone who knocks like that.” He grumbled under his breath as he took a long deep swig and promptly spitting it out. “Fuck water.” He hissed “You got no fucking wine in here?”

“Sandor-” You started before he cut you off

“Don't call me that!” He barked at you,

“What should I call you then, Dog?” You snapped back at him.

“And what shall I call you? Lady fucking Lannister?” He said with a fake mocking grin.

“You ignore me for days, and now- now you come into my chambers to let out whatever irrational rage is consuming you on to me?” You walked up to him, your eyes filled with hurt, “Why? Hm? Why are you in my room?” He didn’t respond and you stepped even closer, “Why Sandor-''

You were cut off by his large arm wrapping around your waist pulling you into his body, hoisting you up just enough you were on your tiptoes. As his other hand cupped your jaw as his scarred lips pressed against yours.

You ran your hands up his thick arms covered in hard cold metal.

That burning pressure between your legs began to rise once again once his large hand traveled down your jaw to your chest. You mewled into his lips as his hand traveled towards your clothed breasts.

He growled into your lips as he said through his teeth “Tell me to go, tell me to get the fuck away from you.” He said in a primal growl as he began to remove his armor.

You shook your head “No,” you painted, your eyes fluttering from the tingling between your legs only grew as his armor fell to the ground. You took in all the scars you could see peeking through his loose tunic.

“Run away from me,” He said in a low rumble as his hands returned to your waist and breast.

“No” You almost moaned as your hands explored his broad shoulders to his thick neck. You pulled yourself up to his neck, peppering it with kisses.

“Stubborn fucking woman” He grumbled as he grabbed you by your thighs, wrapping you around his waist. His mouth traveled from your plush lips to your jaw, then to your neck, your collar bones, and to your chest. Your breathy moans rushed straight to his cock.

“Put me on the bed.” You commanded softly, he obeys immediately, his lips and tongue not stopping until you were sat on the bed. He laid you there surprisingly gently.

You sat up onto your knees on the bed. You faced him as he stood at the edge of the end of the bed. Your eyes stayed locked on his as you pulled your nightgown over your head, the soft silk melted off of you as you tossed it onto the floor. His eyes wandered over you, his hand cupped your jaw as he looked down into your eyes

“You’re beautiful. I’ve waited a very long time to tell you that.” His words were sweet but his tone was dark and deep. Like a dog growling over a bone.

You never liked being called beautiful, but this felt different. You didn’t respond, you took his hand and kissed the palm before you reached your hands up to the ties of his tunic. He pulled it off of him before you could finish.

Your fingers traced the scars that littered his chest and stomach. You stopped at one on his lower stomach, you licked and kissed it softly. His hand came and brushed the hair on your head, pulling it back forcing you to look at him.

“You don’t want this,” He said, his voice was deep but gentle.

“This is all I want.” You said as your hand traced down to the ties of his breeches. He grabbed your hand.

“Have you ever seen a man unclothed before?” He rasped.

You shook your head, “No. Not like this.” The Eyrie was a cage with a cloak on top of it. You’d seen so little of the world so high up, and the men who worked there never dared defy Lysa. But you’d see paintings and sculptures.

He began to untie his breeches for you, he practically tore the laces as he pulled himself out. He let out a groan as he was released from his breeches. His cock wasn’t even fully erect yet, still twitching at the sight of your body beneath him. Your lips parted and you tried desperately to conceal your surprise, it was bigger than what you’d seen on a canvas or carved in marble.

You reached out to take him in your hand but he grabbed your wrist, again, stopping you.

“You’ve never done this before?” He rasped again,

“Only to myself.” You said softly.

A deep and dry chuckle left his lips as he stared down at you, “Dirty little bird.” He growled under his breath. “Lay back on the bed.” He rasped “Now.” He commanded in a low growl. As you did he pulled you close by your ankles.

He leaned down and kissed your lips roughly, groaned at the sensation of his cock touching the soft skin of your thighs.

Your hand began to trail down his chest to his stomach to his cock, before his hand could stop you once more. You whined into his lips as he pulled away “If you touch me, I won’t be able to stop, I’ll fuck you bloody.” He grumbled into your lips. It didn’t sound bad at all to you.

“What if I want that?”

“You don’t. Not really.”

“Or maybe you don’t want that.”

“I want to mark you up. I want to leave bites and bruises all over you, want everyone to know I did it. I want to fuck you bloody, stretch you over my cock. I want to make you all fucking mine. But, then your lord wouldn’t care that much would he?” He growled.

“Then what do you want with me?” You asked with venom in your eyes. You were annoyed with him and his teasing. You knew he was angry with the situation but you knew the reason he didn’t do it was because it would mean others would know of your infidelity. It would risk your safety. He refused you, because he cared, even if he didn’t want to admit that.

“I’ve been waiting to do this for too long.” He said as he dropped to his knees. You squirmed a bit, but his large arm wrapped over your thighs and pinned you down.

His beard tickled you, as he began to lap up your wetness. His tongue circled and tapped against your clit.

You let out a sweet, breathy moan, as you tossed your head back onto the bed you laid on. You grabbed a handful of the hair at the back of his head, It was then when he began to fuck you with his tongue, letting his nose rub against your sensitive needy clit. Once you felt his tongue penetrate you. The loud noises filled the room, mixing with your moans of pleasure.

He lifted his head from between her legs, “Keep your mouth shut,” He was panting and tightening his grip on your thigh. You pushed his head back, “Keep yours open.” you painted,

He went back to ravaging you with his tongue. You covered your mouth to keep yourself from moaning any louder, an effort almost in vain once he sucked on your clit. “Gods- Sandor” You whispered in a moan. You saying his name made him moan into your cunt, the vibration of it made that pressure in you build, about to snap.

“Sandor” You repeated wanting that same vibration, and you got it, it drove you past the edge and you felt the heat rush out of you. He drank your cum like it was wine. You mewled, as he stood up you saw his cock as hard as stone.

Your eyes fluttering and weakly trying to sit up you asked him softly “Let me help you.” As you reached out to his cock, but for the third time he grabbed your wrist.

“Don’t” he urged, “I told you, if you touch me, I won’t be able to control myself.”

You sighed, “But I want you to feel what I did.”

“Lay back” This time his voice softer “Show me how you fuck yourself.” He whispered,

You reached down and played with your clit, a groan left his lips as he took himself in his hand watching you. You watched as his huge thick hand gripped himself and pushed back and forth. He grunted and moaned behind gritted teeth. And you let out sweet mewls watching him, hardly focused on your own pleasure. Picking up his pace he almost collapsed on top of you, his one arm able to hold him up as he leaned over you.

His grunts were angry and deep.

You wrapped your legs around his waist as he fucked himself in his hand, locking eyes with you, no longer looking at you fucking yourself or his hand. It was as if he was pretending his hand was your cunt, pretending he was fucking you the way he wanted to for so long. You moaned his name sweetly which only helped push him further off that cliff. Your eyes fluttering, you held his jaw in your free hand, you pulled him in and kissed his lips gently despite the savage pace he was thrusting into his hand.

“Sandor” You moaned once more before he finally came undone. “Gods!” He gritted his teeth and groaned as he was harmed. You felt his heat pour onto your stomach.

The two of you planted together. Sandor cupped your face with his rough large hand, looking at you deeply before getting up and finding his tunic. He ripped the sleeve off of it and used it to clean you before he threw it into the fireplace in your chambers.

You sat up and crawled over the edge of your bed, leaning over and grabbing your silk nightgown. You threw it on as you watched him dressing himself again. Once he finished he looked back to you, the two of you locked eyes for a moment, longer than either of you wanted. Neither of you knew what to say. You stood and approached him.

“I care for you.” You whispered, your eyes softened and you cupped his cheek with your hand.

He took your hand by the wrist and kissed your palm, “You shouldn’t.” he rasped before leaving you.

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After that night, you couldn’t get your mind off of it. It was nothing you’d ever experienced, it only made your emotions deeper for someone who couldn’t have. And now, you were engaged to someone else. You needed someone to talk to about it. Sansa wouldn’t understand, she was too young, and you clearly couldn’t talk to Tyrion. So against your better judgment you found yourself confiding in Loras.

“You're an imbecile.” He quipped as soon as you told him the event of the past two days. You could hardly blame him, you had wronged him.

“I know you're upset with me, no doubt you don’t see things the way that I do.” You said stoically.

“No I don’t. No one does, (Y/N).” His voice raised slightly with annoyance.

“I do, that seems to be what matters.”

“You could be in High Garden right now, or you could be back in the Vale, in the Eyrie. I would have had men fight for your titles that Baelish stole from under you. I would have the finest things for you. Whatever you wished for I would have done it.”

“I wished for my cousins to be safe.” You were annoyed by his lack of understanding, “Besides Tyrion seems content to do all those things you mentioned anyways.” That wasn’t the kindest thing for you to say, but you often lose your temper when pushed.

“Is he content to let you bed a king's guard?” Loras retorted quickly and at a higher volume than you’d prefer.

“Keep your voice down.” You commanded in a lower and stern tone.

“Will he be content to have a bastard? Content to raise it as his own? Content to defend you and that bastard, when people begin to notice how little they look alike?” He said with saddened eyes, “I would have been. You were my one friend, my one true friend.” His tone mellowed, defeatedly

“I still am, it needn’t be this way. I should have accepted your proposal, I know, but I-”

“I know. Your cousin.” He cut you off. He picked a flower in the garden and handed it to you. “You are the most intelligent woman I know. But you are too stubborn and selfless, if you weren’t you’d be the most powerful woman in the realm I’d wager.” He said with a hint of a grin

“I don’t need any of that. What good has it done anyone? You gain an ounce of power and you gain three enemies.” You said examining the flower he gave you.

“Just, just stay alive, look out for yourself.” He said, defeatedly. He placed a hand on your cheek and walked away.

You sighed, nothing comforting came from it. You didn’t know what to expect but you were disappointed nonetheless.

You looked back at the flower in your hand, you huffed and tossed it back into the bushes and continued on.

You looked up and saw Joffrey with his guards walking past across the garden. You caught a glimpse of the Hound. His eyes caught yours. But soon you two were ripped from each other's gaze.

You didn’t know what to do now. All you did know is that you had three men who wanted you and three men who could despise you if you took the wrong step. And your mind lingered on one man in particular, one the other three weren’t even concerned with.

Baelish, and what he wanted with the Vale.

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Note: bark like you want it baby… I told y'all we’d be laying it down. And don’t worry we will be busting it down as well. Also the actual jewler who created that gorgeous pendent in the banner is miya kumo

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forgetyoursingalongsandlullabies · 3 months ago

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I’m kind of obsessed with the Jonmartin timeline and how Jon slowly fell in love with Martin, mostly off tape over seasons 2 and 3. I wrote a little bit of an essay trying to pinpoint the shifts and moments when we can tell something has changed. I love fanfics but I am just so interested in trying to figure out what happened in canon as close as possible. Of course this does involve speculation of emotions that we have no way of actually knowing because Jon Sims does not talk about his feelings.

Anyway it’s long-ish.

Jon fell in love with Martin over season 2 but didn’t start to realize it until late season 3 just before The Unknowing.

Martin starts the show with a crush on Jon. In MAG 22 when Martin makes his statement about the worms Jon feels guilty over how all of the pressure he’s put Martin under drives him to put himself in danger and he has Martin move into the archives to protect him which may be the first caring gesture he has made towards Martin but it’s a big one. Martin, who had a decent size crush on Jon beforehand, is blown away by this and his crush becomes a real big one.

Jon tries to continue being hard on Martin but he does noticeably soften towards him. His criticisms are half-hearted.

During Jane Prentice’s attack when Martin and Jon are in document storage Martin calls Jon out and properly snaps at him for dismissing the supernatural and Jon actually sees Martin in this moment for the first time. Martin had never talked back to him in such a way and Jon can now see him as not just his assistant who makes a lot of mistakes but as an equal who might know better than him in some aspects. They have their heart to heart and Jon is able to be honest for the first time since taking this job. He admits he’s scared and it’s okay, well it’s not okay because Jane Prentice might be moments away from killing them, but Martin doesn’t think any less of him. And then Jon asks if Martin is a ghost and he’s wrong and it was stupid but Martin makes fun of him in a way that doesn’t hurt and Jon isn’t used to that. And Martin, seeing this open and fragile and slightly dumb part of Jon, starts falling in love.

After Martin finds Gertrude’s body Jon is one track minded and focused on finding out what happened. Martin, giving his statement about the tunnels, is in tears not because he found a body and was scared, but because he accidentally left Jon. Jon was too distracted with finding answers at the moment but he heard it and absorbed it over time.

Season 2 Jon is full of nothing but paranoia and is unwilling to trust anyone but it’s his obsessive observations that lead him to getting to know Martin enough to love him. When Jon tries to come back from leave early Martin forces Jon to go home and rest more. Jon wonders what Martin is hiding but reasons that, no Martin is actually concerned about his health. Jon thinks Martin gave him a fake jar of ashes to calm him down, he doesn’t seem to think this gesture is part of a conspiracy, he genuinely thinks of this gesture as Martin lying to him to make him feel better. Jon notes that Martin has been very attentive to his needs and recovery and that he is interested to hear Jon’s theories about Gertrude. He remarks that he has observed Martin’s competence and cunning. Of course Jon is ridiculously paranoid and interprets this attention as some kind of plot against him to slow down his investigation and sees these positive attributes of Martin as reasons to see him as a threat, but again, Jon is absorbing it all. The lines in Jon’s supplementals about Martin’s attention to him implies that they’re spending a lot of time together off tape, at least more than they ever used to, probably at Martin’s insistence and Jon accepting this time by justifying to himself that he needs to watch Martin.

In MAG 53 Jon mentions that Martin hovers near him when he goes to the canteen and Martin says it’s because he’s concerned (based on Jon’s lie about how he got the cut from Michael). Martin offers to pick up a sandwich from the cafe and bring it back for Jon. He doesn’t ask Jon to come with him and Jon acts like he’s annoyed to be around Martin when he sits with him in the canteen, but Jon decides, No instead of me refusing the gesture for food or saying yes please pick up that sandwich for me, he says “I’ll come with” making another decision to spend time with Martin when he doesn’t have to. Maybe Jon tries to justify this to himself again by saying he’s keeping an eye on Martin but Jon has made no efforts to go spend extra time with Tim, who was an equal suspect, even before Tim was mad at Jon. (And may I add, if Jon tried this tactic with Tim, going out to lunch, watching him by spending time with him etc. maybe Tim wouldn’t have ended up being so angry with Jon.) But Jon is definitely making the effort to spend time with Martin when it frankly has nothing to do with his investigation no matter how he tries to spin it.

In MAG 56 when Jon makes Martin tell him what he’s been hiding and he finds out Martin had lied on his CV he is so relieved that he is giddy. He is smiling, laughing and stuttering. To Jon’s ‘rational’ mind this doesn’t fully clear Martin of suspicion but emotionally this really seems to be a weight off of his shoulders. On a subconscious level he can start to allow the time they’ve spent together to mean something other than just spying.

Meanwhile Martin can see what a hard time Jon is having and he can see him spinning out of control with paranoia and Martin tries really hard to defend him, maybe not the best thing, we know Martin is a bit of an enabler for Jon, but for Jon’s emotional arc of falling in love with Martin it is important that Jon hears Martin defending him to Tim in MAG 58. Martin never stops calling Jon out on his shit like when he tells Jon that he needs to talk to Tim and that Tim isn’t wrong but nowadays it feels like everyone is constantly calling Jon out, not that he doesn’t deserve it, but when Martin calls him out it’s still clear that he cares, whereas anyone else talking to Jon just seems to speak to him with malice.

At the beginning of season 3 Jon is hiding out and staying at Georgie’s place. We know from Season 4 MAG 149 that Jon used to go on about Martin to Georgie “a lot”. Georgie got the full story about The Archives in MAG 93 and Jon decides to move out of Georgie’s place in MAG 99 when he was then kidnapped by The Circus. There’s usually a week of time that passes between episodes unless otherwise implied and 93 and 94 take place over the same conversation on the same day so I’ll assume 5 weeks in which Jon was going on about Martin a lot with full context. He probably talked about him before then too only more cryptically. Importantly though in the Season 4 Q&A Alex asks, Who knew that Jon liked Martin first, Jon or Martin? And Jonny said “Georgie” so even though Jon didn’t know it yet, he was obviously smitten (at least obvious to Georgie who has dated Jon and recognizes signs of affection and romance in him more than anyone else would).

When Jon talks to Martin in MAG 102 there is a very slight almost imperceptible sweetness in Jon’s voice that we’ve never heard before. The way he assures Martin that it’s ok that he didn’t know he was kidnapped. There is a lot of awkwardness and frankly a lot of heavy breathing from both of them for probably just standing there. Their casual talk about the overall institute and Hannah who is having her baby and had that thing with the milk in the break room last year, Jon doesn’t know who she is but Martin knows that Jon knows her probably because they had been around her together since they spent so much time together last year but Jon was too paranoid and she had nothing to do with the plot, it’s just a very normal and domestic moment. Jon tells Martin he knows he’s been reading statements and Martin is just worried Jon will be jealous that he’s taking some of his job but instead Jon is just concerned for him. It’s different and they both know it’s different and they can both feel the conversation is charged with something but they don’t know what. “It’s not too late. Unless the world ends” means a lot in this conversation, yes it does literally mean it’s not too late for them to talk and continue whatever friendship they were stumbling towards in season 2. It’s not too late for them to pick up this weird, oddly charged and tender conversation that may be leading somewhere else. It’s also foreshadowing that it sort of is too late because their world will end when Jon effectively dies stopping the Unknowing.

By MAG 114 Jon says that he has listened to all of the tapes and has therefore heard the gossip about he and Martin. I think something clicked in his brain when he heard that Martin has a crush on him. He probably never considered that idea because things like romance are never on the forefront of his mind especially when he is in active danger, which he has been for the last 2 years, and even more so he wouldn’t expect someone to have feelings for him in general. Being conscious of the notion that Martin has feelings for him lead him to consider all of the strange feelings he’s been having about Martin over the last year and a half in a way that he might not have gotten to on his own until much later. It’s all part of the plan that Jon suggests Martin stay back at the Institute in front of Elias but Jon is genuinely relieved that Martin will be safer there.

In MAG 117 Jon talks about Daisy and Basira’s bond and how he’s been having to do everything by himself. He’s envious of their bond and we can tell he’s been thinking about how things could be if he had someone (Martin) by his side. I don’t think this part of his testament would have played out this way had he not been thinking a lot since he heard the tape. When he addresses the “office gossip” he is flustered. Possibly embarrassed that Georgie, who he trusts, was giving out this personal information to Melanie but I actually think he’s used to that specific type of gossip about him and I think that the nervous stutter and searching for words comes from trying to address the other part of the gossip, which he is still trying to wrap his head around.

It isn’t confirmed but I do think that Jon listened to everyone’s testimony before leaving and he heard Martin’s “I need him to be ok”. Later in MAG 139 Jon says “I need him to be okay. I just do.” I don’t think he’s consciously repeating the same phrase but I think this phrase has lived with him ever since he heard Martin say it and now it’s just organic to Jon too.

I genuinely do believe that at this point, as of MAG 117, all of Jon’s feelings for Martin are already there and internally he has at least accepted romantic feelings even if he wouldn’t have called it love then.

Jon is put in a 6 month coma the next night and is in a full tilt romantic arc the moment he wakes up. Not 20 minutes after waking from his coma he wants to see Martin, he’s surprised that Martin wasn’t there for him the moment he woke up. Maybe if you asked him the next day he’d say it was a silly notion for him to just expect Martin to be there at any given point no matter when he woke up, but a part of him accepted and knew that if Martin could have he would have been there.

Anyway, all this is to say that if he woke up from a coma desperately in love with Martin all of those feelings had to have been present before the coma. I know there was a lot more thought and consideration and emotional work that Jon had to do over season 4 before he could have been ready for his love to literally save Martin but all of the feelings were there by the time he woke up.

#tma #the magnus archives #jon sims #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jmart #jonmartin #teaholding

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witchinatree · 8 months ago

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i'm having so much fun with the new tmagp characters (and i will miss them dearly until april 11th) (side note: patreon members get access on my sisters birthday which is pretty cool) and i don't want to compare them to the tma characters because they are unique and different in MANY ways, i just also notice some parallels

gwen is very similar to jon, she has had a somewhat skeptic attitude but has now clearly been exposed to the horrors (bonzo..) and she's also climbing the corporate ladder if you will. she runs the place, she's grumpy, and i think she's closer to becoming an avatar than any of the others (even sam) (see my other post about it if youd like) (idk how to link it on mobile sorry)

alice and tim are kinda obvious, both comedic with younger brothers and are very susceptible to romantic feelings (sasha/sam). there was a lot more going on with tim and we haven't seen much of that side of alice, so i'm really excited to learn about her backstory and/or traumas. less excited about what that might to do her but yk.. yk..

sam/sasha is the most interesting one to me. sam is curious like sasha was. sasha wanted to know which made her archivist potential in everyone's eyes. sam also wants to know, he'd make a great archivist. except he's not cautious, he's like sasha if she had never worked in the artifact storage. i think sasha's strength was what she had already experienced and what she knew, but she didn't know enough and ultimately that got her killed. sam is going to keep learning until he does know enough, but he doesn't have that prior knowledge to stop him from going too far. very interesting characters from both of them

celia and martin i guess? celia's different since she's not exactly from tmagp

lena and elias because creepy murder boss

and finally colin and gertrude which is kind of insane of me to say but hear me out. gertrude cut out the eyes of book covers and magazines and everything in her home. she was incredibly paranoid she just was also a boss ass bitch about it. i think younger gertrude must've been a lot like colin, but she figured it out quicker and realized what she needed to do to survive. she asked the right questions and took the right precautions. she had the archive full of knowledge. colin doesn't have the archive, he's messing with the wrong thing and he's taking every precaution and hurting himself and those around him (sam's phone specifically comes to mind). i think gertrude was like colin but she had the right resources to get through it

idk all of these are very interesting and it makes me worry a bit, but ofc every character is unique and has aspects to them that change their stories. they're probably still gonna die though, we know jonny sims loves killing characters ☹️

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farfaras · 2 years ago

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I think I got an ex but I forgot him

Part 1.

Part 2. (You’re here!)

Part 3.

They came up with ground rules, boundaries were important and whatnot. However, they didn’t plan on doing this for long, so they also had to come up with a believable storyline for the future course of the relationship.

This is what they have so far:

Only Dustin knew, it would stay that way. For now.

Hugs and holding hands was okay.

Pet names that were allowed included: babe, baby, honey… and that’s about it.

This will last only one or two months to really sell it.

No kisses required.

As for the storyline. That was a little bit harder to come up with. Obviously the timeline was a no brainer. They got together two weeks after Jonathan and Nancy broke up. Jonathan tried to protest. “That makes me look bad.” “Yeah well, you dating me overall makes you look bad.” “Makes you look weird, then.” “Whatever.” But they didn’t have too many options, it was that or the literal last week. And call them paranoid, but Steve thinks Dustin would see through that.

When that was out of the way, they planned the way their (fake) relationship would go wrong. “Maybe I realized I was a rebound.” “Do you want Dustin to hate me?”

At the end, what they agreed on wasn’t even that far off. They came up with phases they had to complete. Hopefully they would be able to showcase that Jonathan started dating Steve because he was supposedly just lonely and needed someone, he didn’t realize what he was doing and didn’t mean to hurt Steve. They would say they talked it out and decided to stay friends because that would be for the best. No hard feelings.

Phase one. Jonathan being an attentive and affectionate boyfriend. Steve gushing about it to Dustin.

Phase two. Jonathan spends less time with Steve. Steve starts saying he misses him now and again.

Phase three. Jonathan acts distant. Steve is freaking out.

Phase four and final. Jonathan realizes his mistake and ends things.

It was almost foolproof! And they only had to really fake in front of one person, so it shouldn’t be that hard. Steve didn’t want Jonathan to come out just because Steve needed a favor. This seemed like the best way to do it.

They were hanging out in Jonathan’s room, everything was set and all they needed to do now was act like a couple in front of Dustin and stand a little closer when they were in bigger groups if Dustin was there.

Easy.

But for another day. All they wanted to do right now was just chill.

Steve heard someone knocking on the front door. It was incessant and loud. They wanted to have a chill night but whoever was there, was starting to get annoying.

“Aren’t you gonna…?” Steve pointed to the direction the sound was coming from. “Are you gonna get the door? Are you expecting someone?”

“Nah, ‘s probably a salesman or something. They’re annoying but they’ll be gone soon.” Jonathan muttered, and he really didn’t seem at all bothered by the persisting knocking.

They heard Will come out of his room. “Seriously!” Teenage irritation and disdain. Classic. Looks like he’s gonna get the door.

As soon as the door opened, they heard a familiar voice. What was Dustin doing here?! Was he here to ask Jonathan about Steve? If that’s the case thank god Steve got to Jonathan before Dustin. This kid is something else.

“Is Jonathan here?”

“Wha- he’s in his room. Why?”

“I need to talk to him for a bit. Alone.”

“Why would you want to do that?”

“Just- I’ll go to your room later.”

Oh Dustin really is here to talk to Jonathan.

Steve jumped in the bed and turned to Jonathan. “Quick. Cuddle me.”

Confusion was all over Jon’s face. “Huh?”

“Dustin is coming, just do it!” He whispered.

“Ugh. Harrington.” Complained Jon.

“That’s babe to you. And you said hugs were fine. Cuddles are just long hugs, come on.” Steve laid in the bed next to Jonathan.

Jonathan turned him so he could spoon him. Steve has never been the little spoon before, but it was kinda nice. They were settling when they heard a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Asked Jon.

“Dustin, can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure.”

When he opened the door his eyes looked like saucers. “Oh my god, it’s true.”

Steve just raised an eyebrow at his antics. He closed the door and sat down in the chair by the desk. “You guys are actually dating.” Dustin whispered-yelled.

“What? You didn’t believe me?”

“I’m a scientist! I need proof to believe stuff!”

Steve and Jonathan got up and sat down by the edge of the bed. They were pressed together, thighs and shoulders touching. Jonathan took his hand and laced their fingers together. “You don’t have a problem with it, do you?” Jonathan asked. He’s a better actor than he thought, he looks protective. Although this is another coming out for him, Steve thinks he’s handling it really well.

“No, no! I already told Steve I don’t care. I just kinda had to confirm it because… well I kinda want to talk about something.” Suddenly Dustin looked wary, hesitant to continue.

“Okay?” This was unexpected. Both Dustin being here and the imminent serious conversation he wanted to have based on his expression alone.

The teen took a deep breath. “First of all I wanted to ask you guys something.” He looked at them expectantly, as if asking for permission to continue. Which was so bizarre because this kid says everything and anything that goes through his mind. Steve nodded. “Are you planning on, you know, telling our friends? The party?” Why would he want to know that?

“Um.” Steve glanced at his fake boyfriend. “No, not really. At least not for a while” Jonathan just nodded at what he said.

“I think you should do it.”

“Huh?” Jonathan paled. Steve understood, that was a big thing. And sure Dustin didn’t seem to be taking it lightly but he still doesn’t understand what something like that can feel like.

“Dustin, I don’t think you get to have an opinion on that.” Steve tried to sound firm.

“No, I know just. I think it might be a good thing. Listen, maybe you’re aware of this or maybe you aren’t.” Dustin leaned in as if he was gonna share a secret. “Someone in our party is having a hard time with their… sexuality. At least I think so. I think seeing a happy gay couple could be good for them. To show that there’s hope or some shit.” He was almost eloquent, if it wasn’t for that slip at the end.

The supposed couple looked at each other, processing what the younger boy just said to them. Steve doesn’t know if Jonathan is out to Will, or vice versa. Steve is not dumb, he sees the way Will looks at Mike sometimes. It was the same way his brother looked at Nancy. It had to be hard, being so young and feeling so alone. Will had to be the person Dustin was talking about, right? The only other gay friend Steve knows they have is Robin, and Dustin has no idea she’s gay if we take into account that he wanted to set her up with Steve not long ago.

“We’ll think about it.” Steve heard Jon say. He was surprised, it looked like Jon was considering it.

“I can assure you our friends will be okay with it. And seeing that might encourage this person to come out! I really think they need the support and I wanna give it to them but I don’t know how.” Gosh. He looked so pained about not being able to comfort Will. Dustin is a really good friend.

“As Jon said, we’ll think about it.”

“O-okay. Thanks.” Dustin got up and exited the room, presumably to go to Will’s.

When they were sure he was in another room they separated and inhaled deeply.

“What do you think?” Steve asked.

“I hadn’t… thought about that.” His hands were in his lap and he looked at the door. “I’m gonna assume you know who he was talking about.”

“I’ve… had my suspicions.” Steve ventured. “Will has been looking sad lately.”

“Yeah. Maybe Dustin’s right. Could be a good thing.” He still looked a bit nervous about the whole idea.

“We don’t have to though.”

“I think we should.”

“Really?” Steve didn’t want to pressure Jon, but he also thought it would be good for Will. That kid needs support but he needs to feel comfortable enough to ask for it. No one knows how he would react if they just dumped on him the information that he’s not as subtle as he thinks.

“Yeah. How hard can it be? Same plan just, more people are gonna know.” Jon smiled. “And Will might feel better. I’d do anything for him.” Will was lucky to have such a caring brother.

Steve grinned mischievously. “We might have to revisit the kissing rule, though.”

Jonathan rolled his eyes and smacked him with his pillow.

———

This is a bit shorter than the last one, sorry about that.

I think I might post a chapter once a week.

Also, the tag list is getting really long! I don’t know if I’ll be adding more to the list.

Thanks for reading. Ps. Eddie might finally be in the next chapter. Watch out.

#I think I got an ex but I forgot him #stranger things 4 #stranger things #st4 #steve harrington #jonathan byers #dustin henderson #will byers #steddie #eddie x steve #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #eventually hehe #platonic steve x jonathan #mer writes sometimes #my fics #hi sorry this shorter!!#the fun REALLY starts next chapter I promise #thanks for being patient

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lonelyslutavatar · 1 year ago

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Not me going insane in the shower thinking about ur giving-but-not-receiving sex positive Ace Jon and how that must have fucked with Martin’s low self esteem so much during the first few days of running away together

Because you’re Martin Blackwood, and as your mother taught you the only time you’re ever enough is when you’re giving so entirely of yourself that there’s barely anything of you left. When you give up your time, your energy, your future for her, and it’s still not enough, you’re still a worthless parasite of a son she’d be better off without.

When you try to mold yourself into whoever your boyfriends or coworkers want you to be, wearing a mask of amiability and willingness to please, because it’s never enough to just be there, you have to justify yourself, have to prove yourself useful, adequate, worthy of keeping around, of even receiving the most basic scraps of courtesy and affection—

And you get a crush on your persnickety bastard of a boss, because of course you do, how could you not, when his emotional unavailability reminds you so much of the only form of “love” you’ve ever known. But then as time goes by, as he gets more and more paranoid and less and less human, he becomes something awkward, something real, something more that you fall genuinely in love with, that has you burning statements and admitting to Eldritch gods that you need him to be okay, you’d burn the world and yourself along with it to make sure of that—

To have that man, who you’ve almost built onto a pedestal save for how wonderfully, ridiculously, perfectly foolish and fallible he is, says that the thing that makes him happiest, that brings him the most satisfaction is you, your company, your existence, you being there with no expectation or even want of reciprocity? That you don’t have to do anything or be anything for him to find you worthy of love? That you, yourself, are somehow more than enough?

No wonder he disassociates initially. I don’t know if I could even survive a day under the gaze of a love like that.

anon, you get it.

#tma #Jon taking care of Martin my beloved #Martin taking care of Jon is so tired #but being able to take care of the one you love #as a form of taking back control for Jon #and Martin trying to learn that he doesn't need to prove himself as useful to someone #to deserve love #hnngg

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kairos-polaris · 10 days ago

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inspired by this post by @you-call-it-obsession

just thinking about all the trinkets in Elias' office and how they drew Jon's attention during his first interview. he gets flustered when Elias points it out but Elias just smiles and tells him about how he came into possession of that object.

it becomes sort of a tradition for them, that whenever Jon comes to Elias' office, Elias will tell him a tale or two about the things he owns. more often than not, it turns into five or six because Jon is too curious and Elias enjoys his curiosity (half of the Institute is convinced they are fucking because why else would Jon visit Elias so often and stay there for so long? they aren't)

their meetings become less frequent as Jon is made the Head Archivist and he certainly isn't sad about it. but it makes the rare opportunity to listen to Elias talk even more precious. season 2 Jon is paranoid and tells himself he shouldn't be as entranced by Elias and his stories but each time he can't help himself but ask more questions

mag 92 with the statement is Elias' subtle offer of bringing that tradition back, that's why when everyone leaves he offers to tell Jon about Barnabas Bennett, another statement for his Archivist to feel better. he does the same in mag 102 (statement disguised as a regular story so his Archivist feeds) and then right before the Unknowing. during the latter one he openly offers Jon statements so he is strong enough during the Unknowing. there is a feeling in the air that this is their last time, Jom suspects it and Elias knows for sure that he is to stay away from Jon after his Becoming

Peter chooses a different office so Jon is free to visit Elias’ whenever he pleases. he goes there when he finds himself missing Elias too much, he gently touches all the things there, thinks back to all the stories Elias already told him. all the stuff he has no ideas about. he wishes Elias was there, so he could yell at him for turning Jon into this only to abandon him when he needed him most. and Elias watches him every time and a tiny part of him wishes he was there (unfortunately for everyone involved his evil plans are more important 😔)

#tma #jonelias #this was going to go into the post's tags but got too long + derailed

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johnnycagesrightnut · 8 months ago

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Can I unlock the JonTim rant?

RARARARRARARARARARRARA I AM ACTUALLY BARKING I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED 😁👁️

JonTim. First of all, to understand these two it is vital you Know they never dated. Never. Not once did the two of them date. Not for lack of feelings, they had plenty, but because they just never got the chance. They never had time. They were doomed, they were an unchangeable tragedy.

I firmly believe pre season 1, before our beloved horror podcast even starts taking place, pre promotion in Research Days they had stupid little crushes on each other. No bad feelings like in later developed seasons, purely wholesome feelings of nothing but adoration and awe. They were actual friends, the amount of shit those two got in together out following up on statements or whatever, they were like no one else. Nobody else had a bond like those two, not even Tim and Sasha. They were each others person.

I do think when Tim had finally gathered the stones and was ready, he planned on asking Jon out the next Friday. But then they got promoted.

Season One.

They never had time. Jon got busy and despite his overall done-with-everything-and-everyone vibe in S1 it never really came about when it was Just Tim. Just them alone again. Maybe in a sarcastic way but never really. Tim put off asking him out, figuring they were busy now and there would be a better time. He didn’t know now was the best time he would get, because every time after would be worse. If he had known maybe he would have asked. Maybe later he thinks about that in kicks himself in retrospect. Maybe he thinks about Jon when he presses the detonator.

Season Two.

S2 was perfect. The angst is setting in. Jon was paranoid. Everyone was a little paranoid sometimes after the Prentiss incident but Jon was the worst of it. Tim had started seeing him outside his house for god sakes. Jon was so suspicious of Tim, and less because he truly thought he was up to something and more so because he needed to Know Tim wasn’t. He needed to Know the one person who had been there wasn’t doing anything. Obviously Tim took it as suspicion and that drove wedge through them a bit. Their argument in episode 65 is SUCH a lovers quarrel energy. It’s SUCH a lover quarrel. Because you can love someone and be as angry as they were at each other. Those things can be felt simultaneously, and believe me when I tell you I do wholeheartedly believe they never loved anyone else the way they loved each other. Tim and Sasha were iconic, Jon and Martin were iconic and undeniably in love, but it wasn’t the type of love Jon and Tim had, nothing could ever rival that, and nothing ever did. If there was an option when Jon was happy with Martin in the safe house, happily in love if he could have Tim back alive, back with him but Martin wouldn’t be with them, he would hesitate.

Season Three. (The Grande Finale)

Tim has never been angrier. He is so alone. Nobody understands, not even the one person who used to understand everything, his everything, didn’t get it anymore. Tim’s lost everything. He doesn’t have anything left for him anymore. I’m not even sure if most of S3 he even knew Jon still loved him, but he knows in the end. Despite being in the Unknowing, Tim knows. He’s aware at the end. He knows Jon loves him more than anything, and he knows he feels the same. He knows then that there has never been a time Jon did not love him. He knows he’s glad to do this, to get back at something and his last moments to be a big ‘Fuck You’ to these entities, this thing that took his brother and in turn his entire life, but he knows he’s going to miss Jon, if you can miss from the grave. Even if you can’t he will miss Jon enough that he can. He knows he’s never going to see his love again, never will he make him laugh, or get stoned somewhere in the Institute like they did in Research Days, Tim regrets in these last moments never asking Jon. He thinks of how different things would have been if he had. And he doesn’t want to think of that anymore. He thinks of everything he’s doing, how now that this is what’s happening he won’t (can’t) change it, and grins, his last moments the biggest ‘Fuck You’ anyone’s ever seen. He thinks of a time he made Jon laugh in Research Days, remembers how pretty he thought Jon looked laughing, and he clicks the detonator.

Season Four (Encore.)

Jon wakes up six months later from a coma. Once he can form a coherent thought it’s about Tim. Where is he? What room is he in? After everything, after all this they had survived, and Jon knows Now. Now he has to make a move, he has to hold and be held by his friend, his lover. It’s a good thing Georgie and Basira are there when he wakes up, he can ask them. Ask them what room Tim was in. When he asks if Tim is alive it’s just for clarification, he knows what answer he’s going to get, that Tim was somewhere in the hospital. His heart shatters when they’re silent. Oh. He’s just woken up from a six month long coma and the love of his life is dead. No this couldn’t be happening. Please. Not Tim. He gets dizzy and he can’t see straight, too consumed by the hard hitting feeling of grief because for the first time ever, Tim is not there. He’s nowhere. He isn’t anymore. He was all he wanted and he did not exist anymore. He was ready now, he was going to ask Tim. Even now Tim was gone they paralleled each other, Jon was ready to ask and he couldn’t anymore, and Tim was ready to ask and felt he couldn’t. Death couldn’t stop them from being intertwined irreversibly with each other. Nothing could.

Season Five (honourable mention.)

Jon still feels him around. He’s happy with Martin but some night when he’s staring up at the ceiling he is reminded of earlier times of being absolutely baked at work with Tim, staring up at the ceiling of his office while they lay on the floor. He thinks of Tim laughing, and realizes he can still imagine Tim’s voice perfectly. And he misses him more than anything. He can feel him around the safe house sometimes, thinks he hears his voice. Sometimes he hears Martin’s footsteps and turns around faster than you’d ever see because for just a moment, he thinks it’s someone else. He loves Martin. But it’s not the way he loved Tim. Nothing will ever be like how he loved Tim. He just wants Tim back sometimes. He wants his best friend. He wants his lover back. And sometimes he can hear Tim’s voice so clearly in his head, imagines what he’d say if he could see Jon now. He can feel Tim’s hand gently in his face, wiping the stray tear away like he had done once before in research days. He can feel himself burying his face in Tim’s chest or shoulder. He missed Tim. Nothing would ever make that feeling go away. Tim would always be, and always had been his lover. Because you don’t need to be dating to be lovers, as long as you do love each other you are lovers. And no one could take that love from them. Jon obviously thinks about Martin and being happy Somewhere Else when he dies, but for a quick fleeting second, the last second he is alive, he thinks about Tim. And how maybe if he ends up Sonewhere Else it would be him Jon saw.

I did cry writing this.

@cult-of-the-eye

#the magnus archives #tma #the magnus institute #jonathan sims #jon sims #timothy stoker #tim stoker #jontim #the inherent tragedy of jontim

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beeistrying · 1 year ago

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The not!them specifically started ‘dating’ someone who could arguably mirror Tim/ started dating someone in general because it knew that doing so would fuck Tim / everyone up MORE. Here are a few points about that which i could talk about for hours:

- IT ISOLATED TIM! At a time when Tim really needed the bulk of Sasha’s attention and support, which the real Sasha would have given, not! Sasha specifically ‘replaces’ him and starts spending the majority of her time with a different man. there are a few ways to read how this would have impacted him - one being the interpretation that Tim and Sasha actually WERE moving towards a romantic relationship, in which case this would have made Tim feel like Sasha didn’t want him because he was traumatised/ different/ or that she thought he was less attractive with scars or too much effort. Even platonically Tim probably felt abandoned and easily replaced, and with Martin so worried about Jon and trying to keep the peace and Jon gone insane mode, i genuinely think the not! them intentionally did this to drive a bigger wedge between them all and send Tim over the edge a bit.

as well as that:

- sneaking around making Jon more suspicious/ paranoid

- makes Jon look even more insane when she reveals she was only sneaking away for dates

#tma #the magnus archives #thanks for coming to my ted talk #tim stoker #sasha james #not!sasha #not!them

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suzukiblu · 11 months ago

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Ko-fi thank-you sentences for @miri-tiazan and an anon supporter; the wet nurse omegaverse.

Damian makes a disgusted noise, then heads out of the room. Jon spares a last lingering glance at Carl, who flashes him a grin, then immediately looks as determined as a half-Kryptonian pup possibly could and runs off after Damian at a mostly human speed.

“Why are you two so cute?” Carl sighs longingly for the umpteenth time or so, tossing Lor up a little before folding him into his arms and nuzzling him again. Lor chirps in Kryptonian registers and bites his shoulder, and Carl croons at him adoringly and nuzzles him harder. If Lor weren’t Kryptonian, Bruce might be concerned about how roughly he does it, but Lor just purrs and shoves into the nuzzling even harder, smacking his hands on either side of Carl’s face.

“Gynot jeju!” he says happily, then bites his cheek. Carl laughs.

It means . . . well, the direct translation is a little up in the air, but from context, Bruce would translate it as “nice mother”. Or . . . “kind”, maybe.

Or maybe just “good”.

Clark exhales, very slowly, and his shoulders slump for just a moment before he corrects his posture and smiles politely at Carl.

“Is there anything you need for the next couple of days?” he says. “Until the movers can collect your things, I mean.”

“Huh?” Carl says, looking startled to be addressed. He keeps doing that, for some reason. Especially with Clark, it feels like, though maybe it just seems that way because he's been less rude with him. Well, less verbally rude. Taking Lor out of his arms without even acknowledging him is a whole different ball park, Bruce has to admit. “Uh–no, I’m good, man, thanks.”

“If you’re sure,” Clark says. Technically supplying Carl with anything he needs should be Bruce’s job, given this is his territory, but the Lane-Kent pack is employing him, so Bruce can live with Clark making the offer. “Think it over just in case, though. If you need anything, just ask.”

“Um–sure,” Carl says, looking a little confused for a moment before returning his attention to nuzzling Lor. Bruce supposes since he doesn’t do direct nursing, he’s not sure how to react to clients in this sort of situation.

“Do you have any dietary needs?” Clark asks. “Or restrictions.”

Carl blinks, looking confused again, then glances back over to him.

“Uh . . . no,” he says, looking uncomfortable. “No, I’m good.”

Bruce has the oddest feeling that they’ve just been lied to, but can’t imagine why Carl would. It’s not like the kid being a vegetarian or having a shellfish allergy or something would be an issue.

Maybe he’s spending a little too much time in the cowl, he thinks resignedly. If he’s suspicious of a damn wet nurse from an agency he went out of his way to find himself, he probably needs to cut back on patrol for a few nights. He can petition Kate for help or let Dick and Jason take the lead on any major investigations, maybe. They work well enough together, even if Jason still won’t come back to the pack. Even if he insists on being practically-stray himself. Even if–

Bruce makes himself stop thinking about that and focuses on the here and now. Clark and Lois have found an acceptable candidate to take care of Lor’s needs, as far as they can tell, and Lor and Jon both seem happy with said candidate, and he needs to stop being a paranoid bastard about it before he starts putting off negative pheromones and making said candidate feel uncomfortable or unsafe in his territory.

He can do that. Obviously he can.

#rinfic #wip: the wet nurse omegaverse #omegaverse

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raspberryflo · 9 months ago

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so, need an outside opinion on this.

Herobrine, from the originally screenshot, not any adaptations, was an avatar of the spiral/stranger, leaning towards the latter.

Here are my thoughts on how Herobrine should be classified if he were brought up as existing in the Magnus Archives universe… So to preface, I disagree, I don't think that Herobrine should be classified as either a Stranger or Spiral avatar- I think he would be an avatar of the Eye. But there are points to be made for both of these options.

The Spiral is the fear of your mind lying to you, an aspect which is very much present in the original Herobrine creepypasta- OP explains that they would "constantly think [they] saw the other player" but could not manage to see him proper, bar their first encounter. The key takeaway here being that they thought that they saw somebody else in the fog, but could never confirm it, which I imagine would create a sense of paranoia that their mind was playing tricks on them- perfect for the Spiral. Similarly, when OP apparently posted about their findings online, their messages were quickly deleted- the suppression of knowledge about the figure that they had encountered would create more unknowns for OP and further the paranoia, which is why Herobrine could be considered an avatar of the Spiral. The OP also seems confused about structures that appeared in their world, since clearly they could not generate naturally- if Herobrine was an avatar of the Spiral, it would make sense for him to build random structures throughout the world just for the purpose of confusing the player and getting into their head.

As for the Stranger, I think that there's less evidence that Herobrine should be categorised this way. The Stranger is the fear of the unknown and the uncanny. Even though now in 2024 pretty much everyone who has heard of Minecraft has also heard of Herobrine, in 2010 Minecraft was much more niche and not every nook and cranny of the game had been explored, and so back then, the concept that somehow a ghostlike figure had made it's way into the game wasn't impossible. His existence could genuinely be believed, though not fully understood, giving credence to him being an avatar for the Stranger. Backing this up is his appearance of being exactly the same to the player character, but slightly uncanny, having glowing white eyes- with a modified, unusual appearance being a telltale sign of the Stranger. But his behaviour doesn't really align with how you'd expect a Stranger avatar to act, since all he does is watch the player and (supposedly) stop telling them to find more information. Which is why I think he would be an avatar of the Eye.

Throughout the original creepypasta, Herobrine doesn't take any direct action to confront or communicate with the player; every time he's mentioned in-game, he's described as simply watching from afar. Although this creates a sense of paranoia for the OP, they are specifically paranoid of being watched by somebody, mentioning that they constantly tried to catch whoever was watching them- although to no avail. Herobrine's behaviour here also reminds me a lot of the way that Jon is described by his victims when he appears in their dreams, just watching silently, never interacting. What's more, the situation drives OP to post on the forums asking about this, but their post gets deleted. One of the key aspects in regards to the Eye's identity is the desire for knowledge, even if it comes at a cost; here, Herobrine's presence leads OP to repeatedly seek out answers, despite the fact that it caused their posts to be deleted and for them to get into trouble with a moderator. My last persuasion point is that Herobrine's one key iconic identifying feature is that he literally has Evil Scary Eyes.

Thankyou for coming to my squiddo talk

#ask #the magnus archives #There's also definitely an argument to be made here that he would be an avatar of the dark

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ao3feed-jonmartin · 3 months ago

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Oh I do Like to be Beside the Seaside!

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/23B7Wes by briarfairchild The tears are flooding down Martin’s face before he’s taken three steps down the footpath outside. He fumbles in his pocket for a tissue and more or less just sobs into it for a while. Which is why, when someone steps onto the pavement in front of him as he exits through the gate, and says, “Martin, why are you crying??” it takes him completely by surprise. * Or, Jon, in the throes of paranoia, stalks Martin all the way down to Devon when he goes to visit his mum. But when Martin comes out of the care home in floods of tears, he finds himself inexplicably incensed with whoever made it happen. (This wasn’t meant to be a fix-it when I started writing it but it sort of ended up that way) Words: 2729, Chapters: 1/5, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood's Mother Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: The Magnus Archives Season 2, Fluff, Humor, Angst, but only a little bit for flavour, Paranoid Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, he stalks Martin two hundred miles across the country, but then Martin cries, and what is Jon to do???, Crying, Confessions, Getting Together, Fix-It of Sorts, apparently an afternoon at the seaside is all Jon really needed, gratuitous descriptions of cream teas, Seaside, Ice Cream, Arcades, paddling in the sea, Piggybacks, Fish & Chips, One Measly Kiss, but a lot of holding hands and staring into each other's eyes, which is practically the same thing, egregious quantities of fluff read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/23B7Wes

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #tma #jonmartin #jmart #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin fanfic

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magpod-confessions · 5 months ago

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Okay I'm a first time listener and very very new to the fandom but not gonna lie I think the appeal of several characters in TMA is that I can understand where most of them are coming from a lot of the time

I understand some people not liking whoever for their own reasons, that's cool and valid, I just think you have to look through multiple perspectives to understand some of their actions. Yes Tim got more aggressive and bitter and harder for others to be around in S2 and beyond, but can you really blame him? He already had a lot going on when he joined the Institute, and beyond that he got traumatized by the whole Prentice situation and the NotSasha. I think him withdrawing from others because he's worried he won't be able to tell who's real anymore makes a whole lot of sense, actually. I think snapping at Jon because Jon was literally stalking him and others and unfairly treating them like suspects is completely understandable. I think his attitude being compounded and worsened by learning that the case tied to his brother was being withheld from him is totally fair. Let's be honest, Tim's worsening mental health makes complete sense. You can think he's an asshole for it, I'm not saying you have to like him, but I'm also saying he isn't an unsympathetic character just because he turned jaded later.

A lot of the same could be said for Jon though. Jon wanting to keep distance from his assistants because he's been introduced to so much information he can't process makes sense. Wanting to solve things alone so others don't get hurt because he feels guilt due to whats happened to all of them makes sense. Being paranoid post-Prentice makes complete sense (though the stalking less so). Thinking he's got some things already figured out and not recognizing his limited perspective on the supernatural, recognizing the existentialism of realizing he's way out of his depth, losing his grip on himself at times and his better sense due to a need to know and to understand all makes a lot of sense. Not just with Eye influence, but with what we know of Jon as a person.

Martin I can speak a little less on, but honestly I understand being the guy with all the nicer suggestions when all your co-workers are turning hella jaded. When everyone's falling apart in some way or bending under pressure, just wanting everyone to be haply is a perfectly understandable want. Additionally though, that's not all Martin is, and his moments of showing tact and wit and sarcasm shouldn't be ignored. Jon and Martin both wanted things to be better for the people around them. Jon wanted to do so by fixing everything himself, hiding scary details from them, and making amends to what he feels like he brought on them. Martin wants people to learn how to relax and put aside their personal grudges, to make people realize they're not going to get anywhere if they keep trying to fight one another. Tim is an already traumatized man who's mental health got worse after an experience that made him question the reality of the people around him who didn't like people prodding him every few seconds to question his capabilities

I don't know if this is 100% accurate (again, very new here, this is only my understanding of the characters so far), but that's what I got from it. Every character, even at their worse, can be completely understandable if you take the time to look at things in their frame of mind and from their perspectives. Again, you don't have to like them at their worse, it's understandable not to. But it is a little unfair to judge characters at their absolute mental limits for the actions they take while pushed to the brink (mainly talking about Tim here)

#yea anon youre right lmao #god the fandom depicts characters poor mental health in such weird ways lmaooo #magpod #tma #the magnus archives #magpod confession

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bagofdo-ritos · 7 months ago

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an analysis of how the lyrics,

“Blame it on the black star, blame it on the falling sky.”

from Black Star by Radiohead fits Jonathan Sims PERFECTLY:

First of all, let’s pick apart what “black star” and “falling sky” even mean: a Black Star is often seen as a mysterious and enigmatic symbol; they tend to represent the depth of the universe and in alchemy are considered the ‘Prime Material’, as they are the start of any transformation process. It symbolizes Jon perfectly, at least how others view him. He’s always seen as the outcast, as someone or /something/ hard to understand, as though he reached a complexity even humans couldn’t comprehend. Especially after being the Archivist, his role as the ‘black star’ only solidified, as he WAS the start of the process, the beginning of the end. He was the material needed to transform the world into the fear-apocalyptic future it became.

I don’t think I need to explain the “Blame it on-“ part; the amount of blame being pushed onto Jon for simply being a pawn in the game, everyone around him deflected their own guilt for playing into the narrative by piling it onto him, it's hard not to see.

Here’s where it gets interesting. the second “Blame it on-“ ISNT in the perspective of the others. it’s Jon blaming the Falling sky.

‘The Falling sky’ is less symbolic and more referencing the age-old idiom “The sky is Falling!”, because often it’s referring to panic and hysteria, a sense of paranoia. The line “Blame it on the falling sky.” is referencing Jon in his paranoiac state, implying that he was consistently blaming anyone and anything he could to justify his panic and frenzy.

The lines coming after one another would be as though the situations paralleled one another, senseless blame being thrown around with no justification. Perhaps it would even be Jon facing the hateful blame-throwing and getting flashbacks to his own paranoid blame-throwing.

thank u for coming to my TED talk I would love to hear your thoughts and interpretations :3

#i’m so Normal about jonathan sims from hit podcast the magnus archives #jon relating to radiohead lyrics was not on my list of theories #tma analysis #jonblogging #the magnus archives #jon sim’s analysis #jonathan sims #jon sims #tma #i love him so much someone sedate me

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pumpkinstrawbrew · 9 days ago

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You mentioned that Crane was running around half-naked in Arkham Asylum during some kind of manic period. And that got me thinking.

How can Batman even cope with such things? You have a kind of criminal boyfriend who's going through a manic period. He talks only about fear and can't think of anything else. What to do?

Send him to Arkham? Are the doctors competent enough? Shove the medicine down Crane's throat on your own? Just lock him in a Bat-Cave and hope for the best?

i tend to think, that down the line, when it happens, bruce have nearly a sense of acceptance hanging over him. it’s unavoidable, after all. even if jonathan would try his hardest, eventually smth will set him off or his mind would slide back into spiral. he’s not a super strong willed person, when it comes to his devices. an’ considering, that fear was jonathan’s main companion for almost as long as he can remember himself, it’s basically impossible to tear it out of him. from bruce’s perspective, it’s one of those things, where all he can do is try to minimize the damage, despite how it still upsets him.

bruce is well aware that he can’t magically fix jon’s brain nor change his perception. in fact, meds can’t truly fix none of those things either, just keep crane from going into the deep end. so in a way, every option is pretty temporal an’ that’s kinda disheartening on its own. but in a way, i feel like it’s more jonathan’s personal view on the situation vs bruce’s. out of two of them, the big bad bat known to be so ridiculously stubborn. jon would sooner give up on himself, before bruce would do it. or in other words, bruce be willing to ‘run in circles’ for jonathan in that case. even if smth doesn’t work, just try again. it’s not like he won’t ever get frustrated with the fact, that nothing seems to do what he wishes it would. but bruce's general view on sickness of mind is quite a silver lining. there is just gotta be smth that will do the trick, right? just need to figure out what it might be.

either way, in timelines where scarebat have some sort of form or even stalls in the beginning stage, arkham asylum prob won’t be bruce’s first or even fourth choice. i’m pretty sure, that he was always aware, that arkham is less of a place to heal the disturbed, an’ more of a cage to contain them. it doesn't take a genious to notice, that jonathan always comes back way worse after being there, than he was before. instead of curing him, that place allows all of his worst thoughts to fester an’ fester further. not to mention, i believe that bruce’s ‘hero complex’ toward jon would eventually evolve in a way, where he would subconsciously view himself as the only one, who can help / save him. combined with his control freak stick, where he can’t seem to trust even the closest of his allies to do certain stuff an’ prefers to do it himself just to be sure … welp, here you have it. the ultimate ‘he is MY responsibility’, but taken to the max level. the unselfaware possessive declaration.

it's almost funny. since it’s not like jonathan doesn’t already consider this to be true as well. that only batman *could* would save him. even if he also thinks this subconsciously lol. they have this common ground, despite how neither of them actually reflects on it. i mean, the whole deal of arkham knight is literally jonathan being robbed of his delusion an’ ‘anchor’, hence reacting to it very badly. an’ bruce no longer being able to maintain the savior mantle, which leads to their mutual destruction.

howerer, for the sake of it, let’s imagine that bruce manages to save jonathan in arkham asylum, who is still maniacal an’ still insists on being half-naked. clearly, not all that much can be done here. but with the joker’s death hanging over bruce as an unwanted reminder that this is most likely how all of his rogues would eventually go out, he has to do smth. he’s too paranoid not to. he can’t trust crane to somehow get better on his own.

so, what indeed, can bruce do then? pills might help to sustain jon for time being, but it doesn’t really solve the problem for long. once, jon be off them, he’d be way more aggressive an’ erratic than he was beforehand. hormones inside his brain will go wild as they won’t be ‘clogged’ by valium, an’ back to rampage he will go. like, batman still might attempt to do it in some cases, but not before trying smth else first. but that's if we talk about arkhamverse one, specifically. i think, that depending on the version of the bat, each of them would try slightly different approaches to the problem. ak!bruce is also prob more aware about how it would also take a fairly huge dose of medicine to 'take' jon down, when he's like that.

now, in comparison to this, containing crane somewhere ‘safe’ during that time isn’t such a bad idea. keeping him in the same place can prove to be tricky, when he’s like that, but still managable. after all, a sheer crux of jon’s fear obsession always leads back to batman, so it’s safe to assume that if he will have access to him, he would most likely leave an unfortunate bystander alone. in arkham asylum, while he had injected guards an’ randos with ft, his primal focus was still trained on the bat. an’ once they met ‘face to face’, it was only this. he didn’t come after anyone else. nor he seemed to communicate with any other rogues, or even care that they existed. the part of what made that segment of the game magical is the feeling of flimsy reality. of isolation. as there wasn’t anyone else in that nightmare world, just jon an’ the ‘little bat’. batman’s fear is the most intoxicating one for jonathan. the sort that he’s very greedy for, an’ can never get enough of. so if bruce will ‘lure’ him into a make-shift trap to stale the time, jon would follow.

i honestly, think that if bruce will drive them to some desolate cornfield an’ let jonathan ‘haunt’ him there, that it might kinda help. it’s the feel of thrill an’ terror an’ chace, that might ‘sedate’ scarecrow’s appetite for fear an’ tremors, at least for some time. he wants to scare an’ to be afraid. bruce simply needs to create a ‘playpen’ for them during those times. akin to the kinds jonathan himself tends to create for them. he could also put him into ‘gay jail’ inside bat-cave too. on the paper, this sounds kinda hilarious. bruce be trying to piece together some case, an’ jon would be like ‘feeeear’ from some corner of the cave, like a parrot or a ghost. i can see arkhamverse bruce actually doing it tbh. he way less ‘cuddly’ with scarecrow vs BTAS or comicverse batman, who can appear somewhat gentle with them in some instances. him building jon his own fear baby cage is ridiculously accurate. he could even feed him through the bars, as it’s almost familiar sort of interaction.

but overall, i think, bruce himself is the best ‘medicine’ for jon. be it via delivering a knockout punch, or way more unusual methods.

on other hand, i think it’s hella frustrating for jonathan, when bruce has his own mania, which is often displayed in how he begins throwing himself into his vigilante work, after some big accident had occurred an’ many people got killed / got hurt. it’s like almost non-stop crime preventing, saving people for him an’ crane not sure what he can even do. his ‘they were clearly too stupid to live. it’s not your fault’ doesn’t really help anything lol. but what he will attempt to do is talk for another time, i suppose.

#❓#batcrow #long post

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