#Joe List

[tussive]

You ever think you're like, a pretty good looking person and then you see a photo of yourself and you think, "I should kill myself for the good of society."

[godzillabanzai]

Comedians with cigars

[dhirshon]

Got the opportunity to edit this episode for the funny and talented Isabel Hagen. Featuring hilarious comics, Joe List and Sarah Tollemache. Check out the whole series if you have a chance!

[blank-mange]

[plistommy]

[truth4ourfreedom]

DONALD JR PUTS IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE !

Donald Trump Jr:

"If you're in this room right now, you're probably on the FBI list. You're in good company. I am on every list except the Epstein list. We haven't heard anything about that one in a while… How is it that my father could be convicted of 34 crimes, but no one on Epstein's list has even been brought to light? It's almost like they're trying to protect those pedophiles.”

[lengthofropes]

...what does he want us to do, applaud?

[dynamic-power]

"I'm completely normal about-"

I say as I describe something I am, in fact, not completely normal about

[joesbandmerch]

Atticus Clothing - "Feet" shirt

atticus is a brand founded by mark hoppus and tom delonge of blink-182 (listen to blink-182 on spotify and apple music), and one that joe wore often in the early 2000s, with pete and andy wearing the brand on occasion as well. fall out boy appeared as a featured band on the brand's website, and the header on the homepage often rotated different bands, including fall out boy:

(ps thank you maya turnstileskyline for helping me correct the link here <3)

the particular style joe wears above is the "feet" design, and can be spotted in the dead on arrival music video (VERY low quality screenshot, but it is a music video from 2003 which only goes up to 480p, so)

fun fact: although the shirt belonged to joe, pete wore it and threw it into the crowd during fall out boy's first ever show in scotland:

[emperornorton47]

This will make the MAGAts mad. Repost so you know who to block.

[supernutcollectionuniverse]

Unfortunately I am once again thinking about a British man.

[respectthepetty]

Wut and Sol said they could give Joe some money out of kindness, and Joe could pay them back whenever.

Ming said he would give Joe whatever he wanted in exchange for Joe's body because Ming is selfish.

Joe taking Ming's deal is the most relatable moment I've had with Joe because I, too, would pick the devil I already know. Mixing finances with friends is always dicey, and he would still owe them. With Ming, it's business and he doesn't have to worry about ruining a friendship. He can hate Ming, but as long as Ming runs him his money, he'll continue to do his job because this is just another stand-in job.

Joe is really saying "sex work is work"

And I respect that.

[shepscapades]

Question abt the xisuma and keralis doodle in the cozy xisuma post;;

Do the hermit's not know what xisuma's face looks like and keralis is one of the only ones/the only one who knows, or do the hermit's know what his face looks like but we as the audience for some reason don't?

I think as far as I’ve decided, Keralis, Cleo, and Doc are the only hermits who have seen Xisuma’s face.

[antigonenikk]

What it would actually be like to date various HBOWAR men (modern au):

by me and @guarnerepdf

Speirs:

-is a cokehead finance bro

-you wake up in the middle of the night to him watching you sleep with no explanation given, just an eery smile

-is gaslighting you for purposes unknown (moving your furniture one inch to the left etc)

-buys you the fucking tackiest expensive jewelry and designer clothes as random gifts but half of it is fake

-you justify staying because he takes you to NOBU but you’re afraid to google him

-malarkey keeps telling you he's a serial killer but he has such beautiful hair

-lipton keeps handing you domestic violence brochures when he thinks no one is looking. you throw them away because you want that fucking ugly gucci belt! and the staring is sort of charming after a while

-possibly has a secret child that he is hiding from you. you're not sure.

-the first time you have sex he chokes you without asking and is confused when you get mad at him over it.

-does coke while eating dry fruit loops cereal in the morning. somehow looks hot while doing it.

Liebgott and Webster:

-challengers level toxic throuple, these two come as a pair!

-liebgott is xanned out so badly on the regular that he does not remember the last time he washed his hands.

-lieb met bill and toye in rehab and now all his friends are undergrads even though he's going on thirty.

-lieb won't kiss you in the morning "goddamn it woman, brush your teeth" but will kiss webster no problem!

-lieb likes webster more, but web likes you more because you don't call him slurs and you let him rant to you about sharks.

-you and web unionize at some point to get liebgott back into rehab. when he's gone you realize your relationship is 200 million times healthier but also extremely boring. you take him back the minute he releases himself AMA.

-lieb cannot figure out how to work tiktok, meanwhile webster has 100k subscribers on youtube and does grwm story time videos.

-you once had to be driven home by babe from the gas station after lieb kicked you out of the car. the fight was because he didn't believe you when you said you were allergic to gluten. babe lets you play cinnamon girl by lana del rey on the way home.

-lieb keeps trying to weaponize therapy language against you, 'baby you're fucking gaslighting me!' webster just makes it worse when he tries to explain what the terms actually mean.

Bill:

-you start dating Bill after he steals you away from Babe. Babe was nice, but you got the ick immediately after realizing he's not the leader of the friend group.

-bill sends you disgusting dick pics with extremely poor lighting. you can see his bottle of lotion in the background.

-you think it's sweet that he brings flowers when you go out until you realize they're stolen from the neighbor's flowerbed.

-you have an extremely lavish jersey shore wedding that culminates in a horrible fight when he shoves cake in your face ruining your 400 dollar makeup (that you paid for) and your 2000 dollar dress (that you paid for). during your vows babe has to hold himself back from saying something when the priest asks if there are any objections.

-DIRTY fingernails! does not wash his hands. gives you a UTI but doesn't understand that it's his fault.

-Doesn't cheat but is always on the brink of it.

-Follows multiple swimsuit models on Insta, claims it's okay because 'sweetheart, listen, it's all on the screen!'

-Is so cheap he refuses to pay for extra sugar for your coffee, 'you've had it bitter before, babe.' you are ready to murder him. takes you to chili's and acts like it's a michelin star restaurant.

Talbert:

-cheats on you immediately. within the first week.

-sends you anonymous texts to get STD tested, too scared to actually go to the clinic but is certain he's dying of syphilis.

-cries to lip for an hour when you leave him for speirs.

Gale Cleven:

-'sweetheart. are you really gonna wear that out to dinner? it's a bit...well... risque.'

-accuses you of being an alchoholic every time you drink, but Bucky has done four Jeagerbombs tonight and isn't getting any lectures. Also. Why is Bucky with you two on your date night?

-is straight but keeps stringing Bucky along because he reminds him of his father and for narcissism reasons.

-marge messages you on facebook to warn you about him, and also to sell you on her new MLM scheme.

-bucky keeps giving you mean little grins as he hangs off your man....you are very close to murdering him.

-you finally leave him after he calls you daddy in bed. not mommy. but daddy.

Bucky:

-gives you chlamidya three weeks into dating. gaslights you into thinking you got it from sitting on a public toilet seat.

-drives drunk while you're in the passenger seat, goes above 90 and almost kills the both of you.

-is in love with gale and you both know it but refuses to talk about it.

-laughs when you start crying over your new STD diagnosis.

-is the worst boyfriend in the entire world. do not date this man!

Leckie:

-cheats on you with vera, but has a jealous meltdown everytime you talk to hoosier at house parties. you were literally just asking the man for a lighter.

-hoosier is stirring shit up for shits and giggles. he keeps liking your thirst trap insta photos, commenting 'photo cred'

-cries when you confront him about cheating. writes a poem to you about how badly hurt he was by the whole situation. says he only did it because that's how he was raised! no one taught him how to love properly!!

-exploits his family trauma at any given opportunity, shameless about it

-writes you sweet yet cringy love poems

-chuckler keeps trying to warn you but is so awkward about it that you just end up super confused

-blows up the minute you try and critique his writing

-tells you you're acting 'just like you're mother!' during arguments

-eventually you break up because you cheat on him with hoosier and he cheats on you again with vera

Hoosier:

-completely emotionally unavailable

-laughs at you in the middle of a fight, then when you storm out he stares at the wall for four hours straight. no blinking. no moving.

-goes to chuckler thinking he's dying because he has a 'weird feeling in his stomach.' the feeling is literally just a crush.

-catches leckie flirting with you. doesn't cause a scene but DOES immediately cheat on you as a retaliatory action. has no idea why you're mad about it.

-determined to hurt you before you hurt him.

-somehow makes you think you're in the wrong due to the sheer FORCE of his conviction that it was okay for him to cheat on you.

-you two break up but get back together after having a baby. the baby is possibly not hoosier's but he's a genuinely good father. (the baby very obviously has leckie's face. no one is fooled.)

-during your wedding ceremony leckie has to be thrown out after making the worst best man speech of all time.

-parent teacher conferences are a nightmare because your child is biting the other kids and is failing all her classes. hoosier blames you for not helping her with her homework. you all go out to souplantation afterwards and he keeps dropping barbs about you being a dumbass.

-the two of you stay married for 40 beautiful years before dying of old age. within those 40 years you separate and get back together a total of 5 times. leckie somehow outlives you both.

Luz:

-is sweet and lovely and handsome and makes you laugh a lot but

-you're banned from six movie theatres, three bars, the pier, disneyland, and a froyo shop

-you don't even LIKE froyo but the fact that you can't fucking go there anymore is driving you up the wall

-you got kicked out of disneyland because he got into a fistfight with donald duck

-his mother HATES you. she is the ultimate boy mom. they are constantly talking about you in Portuguese behind your back. she wears white to your wedding.

-cannot go grocery shopping because he's stopped every five feet by some old acquaintance. you have no idea how he knows any of these people!

Eugene:

-you're his beard but he doesn't know it

-is the ideal gay boyfriend/husband

-buys you flowers and takes you out on beautiful dates. cringes when you try to kiss him

-everything would be PERFECT except snafu keeps creating dummy accounts to harass you, drives by your house at all hours of the night, and you're pretty sure he's planning to SWAT you.

-eugene has no idea why you hate snafu? he's such a sweet guy!

Babe:

-you're a bit embarrassed to tell your friends you're dating him....he's sweet but just so dorky

-almost puked on you after taking a dab at bill's house. you had to comfort him for ten minutes

-long suffering angel who you cheat on because you know he's just too good for you.... better to hurt him before he leaves you first!

-is popular on tiktok somehow. you have no idea how this happened but it did

[ariartcor]

A couple of days ago I dreamt a Ted centric episode where the diner stopped and he was the customer that needed help.

[truth4ourfreedom]

ELON MUSK CALLS FOR INVESTIGATION INTO EPSTEIN CLIENT LIST!

Elon Musk Criticizes Lack of Legal Action Against Epstein Clients, Including Bill Gates

Elon Musk criticized the lack of legal action against the clients of Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted sex offender, in a tweet. He wrote: "When is there not one – just one – even *attempted* prosecution of that Epstein (Bill Gates & Reid Hoffman come to mind) client list?"

Musk further emphasized: "Either FBI does their duty or the case for an entire departmental reset or abolishment is strong."

Tucker Carlson Network