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Blogtember Day 22: Dream Interaction
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#blogtember#mod art#sfw#maybe I'll redo this but honestly not really? excited for anything when it comes to my work#so this is my little free pass my lil get out of jail free card heehoo#my prompt list I'll phone it in if I please. This job comes with sick days and I am calling IN baby
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job rant incoming
#ok so a couple weeks ago i registered with a cleaning agency and got offered 2 days of work which i had to refuse because i was still at uni#haven't heard anything since#got a message a few days ago from a different cleaning company (job with regular hours) asking if i was free for a trial shift this week and#i told them i was. radio silence since#i'm hoping i'll get a message sometime today because the job description listed the start date as monday#did an interview for a tutoring place that i'll hear from in the next week or so but i'm not confident#i really really want the regular cleaning job cus if they're alright with me being on holiday for a couple days at the end of june#and i can work the rest of the summer i would make enough money to pay the bills for the house AND completely fund 2 trips i have in mind#i hate being worried about money and jobs and idk this feels like a very first world rant lol#cus i could pay the bills for my student house next year without working this summer but i'd have very little money for anything fun#the trips are v unnecessary but is it really so bad to want to have fun money? ofc worst case scenario and i'm jobless this summer i'll go#without the plans or change them but.....yeah#delete later#ellis exclaims
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who else is better as a concept/an online avatar than in person?
#i get it: i can be A Lot#i'm often loud and hyperactive and i talk constantly (especially during movies/tv shows) and i repeat myself a lot#my unmedicated ADHD makes me hyperfocus on shit and i'll rewatch the same thing eight times in a row.#all of that is annoying af! *i'm* often annoyed by myself! i too would like a break from me!!#anyway i've been thinking about how it's a good thing i'm an ace with no desire for a SO or family#because i'm impossible to live with (as evidenced by the people who got tired of living with me/folks who cut me out of#their lives because i wanted to be involved too much)#it's a mixed blessing that i'm too poor to go out and do things because socializing more would no doubt cost me more friends#better for everyone if i just see a handful of people sporadically every couple of months for like two hours at a time#also: i'm getting tired of FB and the mental/emotional spirals it keeps throwing me into so i'm gonna try to cold turkey it again#gonna refocus that time on the latest vol of hazeldine and my stitching and TBR list. be more productive with my 'free' time#(until i get a part-time job or start freelancing in earnest again anyway)#state of the angie b.
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I did get that wedding band job btw! they don't need me until february (current bassist is sticking it out til the end of the year) (this is good because I have time to learn everything) but also my first gig is in freaking maryland so basically my suffering is immeasurable
#getting a free hotel room tho so thats cool#set list is awful turbonormie stuff too but I can deal with that lol#it's work! 🤷#very very thankful that everyone in my own band is a snob with great taste#anyway now im learning a song or two a day on top of everything else in my life sooo yeah! at my limit i think!#just trying to remember that im at a skill level now where increasing repertoire needs be my highest priority anyway#(repertoire = learning the 'language'/'grammar' = better expressive ability in those genres)#and i guess that's kinda the endgame once you have the machanics of everything down#so yeah taking no small amount of solace in the fact(!) that despite giving up so much of my personal time#i am ending every day a teeny tiny bit more skilled than the day before#dangling 'quitting my day job someday' in front of myself like a carrot on a stick lol
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Books read in 2025
Last updated: January 9 Books read in total: 3
I don't read nearly enough so I thought I'd make a running list for all the books I read every month in 2025. Maybe I'll read more because of this, who knows! And maybe you'll get a recommendation from this list too! Wee!
A purple heart (💜) denotes a re-read. A title with a strike means that I didn't finish it that month (and probably am still reading it). Otherwise, these are all books that are new to me.
Remember to support your local library by getting a library card!
January
Yes I've had a hyperfixation on cults lately lmao
Rachel Jeffs - Breaking Free (2017)
Emma Cline - The Girls (2016) 💜
Emma Cline - Daddy (2021)
#2025 book list#watch as some months become empty lmaoo#feel free to send me what you're reading!#as a librarian i feel super bad for not reading as much#like it's my JOB lol#so i'll try my best to read#hopefully after i finish my thesis#HM!
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WIP File Game
thanks for the tags!! @thesunpersists & @littlemarianah 💗
rules: list the names/titles of docs in your WIP folder + open your inbox to asks about them!
(i don’t think my WIPs have changed much since the last time i did this. i’ve been in a slump 🫠)
tagging: @tetheredfeathers @rainymyx and anyone else that wants to join!
#as always these titles are subject to change#feel free to ask me questions on these or my list of prompts :O#once i’m settled in at my internship & job i will hopefully be writing more#but i’m working nearly 14 hours straight on mondays tuesdays and thursdays#so we’ll see! lol#jess writes
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University lgbt center lore drop when?? (/lh)
im gonna be so real anon every time i think it cannot get worse it does!! but just one example: cis white gay director tries to make a ranked list of the most marginalized students on campus. puts black and brown students on the same line. and then adds christian students (not queer christians, just christians). guy who understands how marginalization works.
also when asked why the candidates for the new leadership position were all white (one of whom is his close friend from his old job at the student health center) he pointed to the one (1) latine person on the list and made some shrugging noises about “qualifications” 😑
#I WISH I WAS JOKING. he was convinced down from ranking the list but he did all of that afterwards#obviously i think the lgbt center is super important and im very grateful that we have the resource and theres a ton of goodwork we’re doin#unfortunately our new director is fucking useless after the previous black trans gnc director was exploited#out of the job back to the midwest. so.#also hes trying to turn the center into his old job doing health education lmfao#also he kept calling the student staff lazy behind our backs because we werent doing ‘enough’ work even though he never. communicated this#to us#there’s also a contingent of transphobe fascists in town that we’re dealing with so thats been fun#Three more weeks and then im free…#asks#anon#nate.txt
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I think about moving out more and more every day
#there is a way to move out that doesnt involve going into loan debt#its not ideal which is why im not already doing it. but it Is an option#i could get thru school debt free without depending on my mom#theres an apartment listing in the area that im familiar with and my noyf and i could afford#and bc im in healthcare there is no shortage of jobs that i could apply to and they all start above minimum wage#its possible. i could do it without any debt. and if times were ever hard i could take out student loans anyway#but is it harder than living with my suffocating mother?#ive never lived away from my mother before. i dont know the answer to that question#if it is Harder then i might as well suck it up and deal with her#but if its not harder.... then what am i still doing here
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You're more amazing than wheat
You're more amazing than job applications
#asks#unfortunately the coveted job of “professional kittycat” is out of my reach :(#in an alternate timeline i got popular by writing cute cuddly kink stories and got rich off of patreon#alas. the kitty must work#but my mom bought donuts and is letting me have 1 for each job i apply to as motivation#it's working#definitely needed the motivation because i graduated in june and have spent 2 full months just chilling#not exactly eager to work#but my life will be better when i can buy a fursuit and magic cards and art commissions and skirts and donuts and a chastity cage and#okay but that list was actually kinda hard to make because i kinda already have everything i want#i have a computer an internet connection and a fuckload of games and that's like 90% of what i want#i would like to live in my own little house but that's a long ways away#i mainly just want to keep my free time but i can't mooch off of my parents forever#i need to either take the reins on my life or find someone who wants to adopt a nerdy kitty cat#and as fun as it sounds in fantasy the second option is far too risky irl without a fallback plan#risky both in terms of 'what if they're mean?' and 'what if i don't actually like it?'#so taking the reins it is#if i get lucky then i can make a lot of money and retire early and then just chill forever
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i have many thoughts about self hatred, self destruction, existence, the community vs the self, family, duties, ethics, and responsibility, but i struggle to put them into one coherent work
#i think these are thoughts i have struggled with since 4th grade#not the last time my dad hit me but the first time i thought about killing myself#he made me stand in a corner crying and i came up with a list of ways i could die#i read a book back then. 'the meaning of life.' i struggled to make meaning of it until that day it clicked. there wasnt one.#now i am slightly better#i don't think about killing myself anymore but the hatred and desire to have never existed is still there#and is only offset by a tenuous recognition that i can still justify my existence by being useful to others. my new meaning of life#(this is the main reason why i study ethics so that i can justify every action i take or potentially take)#i say tenuous because i often feel like i dont do a good enough job at being useful anyways#i will still readily accept messages that people hate me or that im worthless because it means i will perform a net good by not existing#to be free from being useful. to be free from having to justify myself. to be free from every person who pisses me off#from every person who i will disappoint from every person who i can't help#responsibility is a thing that no person will ever be free from i know that#but it would be better if my self esteem and will to live wasn't linked with it#yap#vent#cw suicide#suicide
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Hey, Undyne. Sorry if this is a touchy subject, but how are the Amalgamates doing on the surface? Also, are you still the royal scientist?
#underswap mh#6th anniversary ask blog event#sci-fi (swap mh undyne)#this got a bit long so I couldn't elaborate on her job but feel free to ask about it if you want :>#also since I haven't designed the amalgamates yet I'll list them for context:#the rabbit guards' parents are the endogeny equivalent#(k)night (k)night's sister is the lemon bread equivalent#and ms. holiday is in place of crystal (snowdrake's mother)#(and reaper bird is the same bc its component monsters are unswapped)
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I just keep coming back to your wip list because it sounds so interesting. Could I ask about your wip legally married this time? Please feel free to word vomit.
sobbing crying hi welcome back!!!!!
legally married doesn't really have MUCH of a plan at all to it yet, but it's a very silly concept that i adore and want to try writing on my own!!
the idea so far for it is that before Dazai left the mafia, he and Chuuya had gotten legally married so that they would be able to visit each other in the hospital if they had to or something. like if one of them got injured and picked up by paramedics instead of making a clean escape to the PM's doctors.
also just the thought of it being like a tommyinnit and tubbo situation where Dazai somehow tricked Chuuya into marrying him and Chuuya doesn't even realize that yes, he is legally married to Dazai, until some time later when it gets brought up somewhere :'))) and then he just storms the ADA like "Dazai what the FUCK do you mean you're my husband" and Dazai had also kinda forgotten and goes "what ARE you talking about????" until they look into it and he remembers and just. shenanigans. do they get divorced?? do they discover that maybe it's not THAT bad of an arrangement after all??? only time will tell (and me, when i actually decide how the rest of it will go dfihgh)
[ WIP list ]
#also i need you to know the only reason i havent answered your previous ask is bc i've been hoarding it and rereading it and kicking my feet#and thinking so many thoughts about it#but i will probably answer it tomorrow hopefully#anyway YEAH JUST DAZAI AND CHUUYA BEING LEGALLY MARRIED AND BEING CHAOTIC AS ALWAYS <3#also also im dying cus the list has actually grown and i gained 2 new wips today ;;;; on accident#in my defense it was SUPPOSED TO be only ONE idea#and then it split itself into 2 ideas#this is why i like my current position at my job though cus i get to vibe alone in my corner and think about my idiots <3#anyway im love you thank you for asking feel free to ask more as always :; <33#askers#letme-have-thismoment#wip: legally married#ask game#tag game#shh ac
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People think ‘Layton CV’ is ‘Layton Curious Village’ but actually it’s his curriculum vitae. He needs to find a new job after not making tenure at Gressenheller since he went missing for a decade.
#professor Layton#hershel layton#curious village#yeah that’ll do it you know#you can legally declared dead by that point#(though he does seem to be in touch with some people just not his kids)#but eventually they’re just going to need a professor who actually is there you know?#so feel free to forward him any job listings you see that might fit!#queue takumi defense squad#professor cody
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SO if you follow me on Instagram you've already seen the spam about this but...
BUT
This is kind of an #iconic moment for me xD So I am happy to share this here with all y'all: I got to visit the Scholastic offices and my editor gleefully handed me early copies of my first graphic novel, GHOSTS DON'T EAT POTATO CHIPS
I don't think words can accurately describe the excited jumble of emotions I feel for having my work physically in my hands, but I think my big cheesy smile says it all.
xD Now that I've got work-graphic-novels-one-and-two over and done with, I'd love to get back to personal illustrations, comics and fanart (!!!!!), haha, so stay tuned~
#about the artist#LIKE lmao so i work in publishing as my day job so a part of me is extremely chill about this--it's just another Fall list book that's done#and then there is another inner part of me that is OW O bouncing off the walls#i really hope folks like it! learned a lot about humor beats and pacing while working on this#and i also do think my comics skills have leveled up tremendously#i just had no time to do personal or fanart on top of it ahhh but i am FREE again#so stay tuned
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#Robin Processes Emotions On Main#um. I'm sorry. feel free to scroll on#the robin update is not great :(#didn't get the library job (it was highly competitive apparently)#have asked for extensions in multiple classes (in pain) because the end of the semester is hitting me HARD#kind of just overall having a hard time#I'm... struggling...#sorry to everyone who I've not been able to answer and stuff#that's what's going on with me#there are plenty of good things (which I will list in a reblog for balance's sake)#but I also feel that it's important to acknowledge the hard and the bad :( so#SIGHHHHHHH....
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