#Jill Dillard book

[19fundiesandcounting]

credit to xopersephoneox on reddit

This is so disturbing.

[nat-reviews-books]

Currently Reading: Counting the Cost by Jill Dugger with Derrick Dillard & Craig Borlase

I never watched 19 Kids & Counting, mainly because my mom did not believe in watching reality TV focused on kids (so also no Jon & Kate, Toddlers & Tiaras, or Dance Moms, etc. were played on our TV). But, I am looking forward to this book, and the first chapter definitely has me interested.

[fundiefuntimes]

Finished. I have lots of thoughts. Mostly I am proud of Jill, this book took so much courage.

[bookquotesfrombooks]

“It turns out that living with fearful thoughts is a lot like living with hornets and garter snakes. Once they find a way in, you can block as many holes as you like, but the struggle to keep them out will require constant vigilance. And when they do get in—which they will—the memory of all those previous attacks will make whatever you’re facing so much worse.”

Jill Duggar Dillard

Counting the Cost

[ssshwearereading]

Counting the Cost by Jill Duggar

For the first time, discover the unedited truth about the Duggars, the traditional Christian family that captivated the nation on TLC’s hit show 19 Kids and Counting . Jill Duggar and her husband Derick are finally ready to share their story, revealing the secrets, manipulation, and intimidation behind the show that remained hidden from their fans.Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t…

[lucky-girl-0128]

Jill Duggar Dillard and her Spouse Derick Dillard have finally written their Memoir “Counting the Cost” which will give fans new insight into her Growing up in the public eye for the 7 1/2 years that she was filming her courtship, engagement, marriage, birth of her first baby , to traveling to Central America for doing missionary work.

It’ll go into detail about the police report of her older brother Josh Duggar being released and how she tried to salvage what was left of the family’s brand back in June 3 , 2015 and how he tried to intimidate her and her Sister Jessa were doing the Megyn Kelly interview and how he watched them both with a hawks eye so that they say anything bad about him and it sounds like an intimidation tactic of his to silence his victims.

She also reveals her feelings about the IBLP and why she thinks it’s a cult.

From feeling the need to please everybody and obedient, to her coming out of the side of her painful past and letting her children go to public school and she’s embracing new changes for her family for a healthier future and family dynamic.

The book was released yesterday.

To make matters worse, Jessa announced her 5th pregnancy on the day when an excerpt of the memoir was released.

It Sounds like an attempt from Jessa Seewald to steal the spotlight from Jill and deflect from rifts within the family.

[keepingupwitht]

"Counting the Cost" by Jill Duggar Dillard

Last night, I read all of Counting the Cost in one sitting because apparently my fundie fascination is still going strong over a year after we closed down KUWF. I've got a lot of takeaways I want to talk about so I'm going to put a cut and get into it all after the jump.

In the beginning of the book, it struck me how generally correct we were about Jill and growing up as a Duggar. She was a people pleaser and playing the role of “Sweet Jilly Muffin” was so important to her. She loved her childhood and her parents. It’s interesting both from Jinger & Jill that as kids, the Duggar childhood of their memories is an idyllic one. There was a lot of emphasis on their values - no rock music, dancing, movies, etc. but it was a lot of time spent together and fun and games. 

We also saw the shift in the way they grew up - they were always IBLP inspired conservative Christains, but were attending a regular baptist church up until they attended a different church one week that had dancing in the service. Suddenly, they started attending an IBLP only church and getting deeper in. Jill recounts the first time she went to an IBLP conference and realized there were other families like theirs. It was interesting to see their early progression deeper into the cult (which Jill even calls it by the end of the book). 

Jim Bob getting into politics was interesting - Josh’s early interest in it, while Jill preferred to get treats from the other legislators, made a lot of sense. When Josh is sent away, Jill glosses over some of the details (fair enough) but it’s interesting to me to see how she lays out the three things happening around the same time: (1) going deeper into IBLP, (2) her dad getting involved in politics and (3) Josh getting sent away. It lays the groundwork for what TLC is about to walk into and change everything. 

Jim Bob also saying he knew God wanted him to run for Senate, then losing and immediately being noticed by the press and ultimately Discovery - and opening the “window of opportunity” for their family to be on TV was a little wild. The fact that all this happened ultimately because this man flipped a coin three times and got heads all three times - something that has a ⅛ probability of happening - is sorta wild. 

Jill not enjoying filming was something I did not expect - honestly I always thought that she was one of the kids who enjoyed it more. But it makes sense now that she was one of the few who refused to have her honeymoon filmed and refused TLC cameras at her birth, which Jana and Michelle filmed. Those were one of the things that I noticed at the time but didn’t realize what it meant. Good for Jill for standing her ground on both those things - although she wanted to refuse to have her birth filmed at all. 

It was interesting to me that the Duggars were not an IBLP model family UNTIL the show. The show put them in that position - Jill didn’t think they’d be one without it. And the line about Jana being invited to visit headquarters as the only blond to be one of “Gothard’s Girls” just hurts to think about in hindsight. 

It’s interesting how long they propped Josh up as the golden boy while he was in trouble behind the scenes. 

In hindsight, the fact that Jim Bob really set up Jill and Derick is really something, since they would ultimately be the first to really break away. 

Everytime Jill advocates for herself, I am so proud. She pushed for two weeks in Nepal to meet Derick even when they only wanted to film part of the trip, and got the time. They filmed a fake goodbye and then spent another week getting to know each other. 

 I didn’t expect to have my lawyer hat on, but the fact that Jim Bob had Jill sign a contract the day of her rehearsal dinner with everything going on with her MILs health without letting her read it, and her not even realizing what was happening was just atrocious. Just pure and straight abuse. 

The fact that Jill was not paid for any filming and thought she was volunteering at her family ministry for the majority of the time she was filming is just awful. I know she did get perks - her Nepal trip, various other trips, her wedding, groceries, etc. But the fact that she and Derick only had a five day honeymoon because that’s all they could afford when Jim Bob almost certainly made more than $100,000 for their wedding is gross. 

This also doesn’t make TLC look very good, since this kind of abuse was allowed to occur basically under their watch. I get that they likely had a great deal on the Duggars because they were only negotiating with questionable businessman Jim Bob but it does suck to see how little they care about the human cost of their show. 

[shinyhappysims]

Isioma turned 13 today! Like her big sis Nnadi, Izzy is a big helper around the house and really leans into her calling as a woman. Izzy loves to cook and knit, very feminine activities that more young ladies should enjoy doing. She’s also a little bookworm! She’s read the bible cover to cover multiple times and her bible is full of annotations.

For her birthday, we went to the library in Britechester and allowed her to get some books, but only wholesome classics!

With love, Bre <3

(Isioma is the heir! I know from Bre’s description she sounds horrible but she’s gonna do some very light deconstructing. Without spoiling too much, by the end of her gen she’s gonna be around a Jill Dillard level, some questionable ideas here and there but not outright hateful.)

[fundiepredictions]

What happend in 2023

A overview of all the things that happend in 2023

January

Jeremiah&Hannah Duggar (Wissmann) announced the birth off Brynley Noelle on christmas day 2022

Lincoln Bontrager announced during a concert that he is in a relationship with Susanna (maybe Helferich)

February

John&Alyssa Webster (Bates) announced that their baby boy will be named Rhett Alan Webster

Nathanael&Katrina Wissmann (Sahlstrom) announced they are expecting baby #1 in august

Zach&Whitney Bates (Perkins) announced they are expecting baby #5 in august

Jill Rodrigues announced that her son Timothy and Heidi Coverett are courting

Hailey James Clark was born to Katie&Travis Clark (Bates)

Jill Rodrigues suffered a miscarriage

Jessa Seewald announced she suffered a miscarriage in december

March

Trace&Lydia Bates (Romeike) announced baby #1

Jackson Bates proposed to Emerson Wells and she said yes

Justin&Kristen Young announced baby #5, a boy

Rhett Alan Webster was born to Alyssa&John Webster (Bates)

Zach&Whitney Bates (Perkins) announced baby #5 is a girl

Edwin&Francesca Morton (Tuggle) had their son, Adam

Jill Rodrigues announced that her daughter Renee is courting a mystery men

April

Trace&Lydia Bates (Romeike) announced their baby is a boy

Susanna Wissmann and Drew Jerred got engaged

Jesse&Anna Maxwell (Graig) are expecting baby #1

Lillian Scout Morton was born to John&Cambell Morton (Roberts)

May

Kaylee&Jonathan Hill (Rodrigues) announced their baby is a boy

Trace&Lydia Bates (Romeike) announced their baby will be named Ryker Cruise

Rachel&Alan Businitz (Wissmann) announced they are expecting a rainbowbaby in september

Chad&Erin Paine (Bates) announced they are expecting another miracle baby

Matthias&Michelle Wissmann (Kingery) are expecting their 3th in july

Gunner Forsyth was born to Austin&Joy Forsyth (Duggar)

Apperently Josiah&Lauren Duggar (Swanson) had a 3rd child, a boy

Mary Maxwell and Samuel Hook got married

Lincoln Bontrager and Susanna Helferich got engaged

June

Nora Duggar was born to Jed&Katey Duggar (Nakatsu)

Apperantly Christopher&AnnaMarie Maxwell are expecting baby #7

Owen Wissmann was born to Matthias&Michelle Wissmann (Kingery)

Dietrich Sanders was born to Dorothy&Noah Sanders (Morton)

July

Susanna Wissmann and Drew Jerred got married

Gideon Daniel Hill was born to Jonathan&Kaylee Hill (Rodrigues)

Paul Morton got engaged to Helena Mucciolo

August

Theodore James Wissmann was born to Nathanael&Katrina Wissmann (Sahlstrom)

Josie&Kelton Balka (Bates) announced they are expecting baby #3

Lily Jo Bates was born to Zach&Whitney Bates (Perkins)

Erin&Chad Paine (Bates) announced their 6th child will be named William Gage

Lincoln Bontrager and Susanna Helferich got married

September

John&Esther Shrader (Keller) announced they are expecting #14

Jessa&Ben Seewald (Duggar) announced they are expecting #5*

We finaly learned the name of Duggar-Caldwell #4, it's Justus

Jill Dillard released her book

Ryker Cruise was born to Trace&Lydia Bates (Romeike)

Ruth Bourlier (Wissmann) had a miscarriage

Audrey Ann was born to Rachel&Alan Businitz (Wissmann)

Paul Morton and Helena got married

October

Esther Marie was born to Christopher&AnnaMarie Maxwell

Timothy Rodrigues proposed to Heidi Coverett who said 'yes'

Bobby&Tori Smith (Bates) announced they are expecting #5

Jackson Bates and Emerson Wells got married

Maverick James was born to Justin&Kristen Young

William Gage was born to Chad&Erin Paine (Bates)

November

Jeremiah&Hannah Duggar (Wissmann) announced they are expecting baby #2

Edwin&Francesca Morton announced they are expecting baby #2

Nathan&Nurie Keller (Rodrigues) announced they are expecting baby #3

December

Lawson&Tiffany Bates (Espensen) announced that they suffered a miscarriage earlier this year

George Augustine was born to Jessa&Ben Seewald (Duggar)

Susanna&Drew Jerred (Wissmann) announced they are expecting baby #1

[duggarsetal]

fundie facebook is real weird

one post, talking about the documentary (!!!) has loads of comments talking about how they hate that the Dillards are taking part

people saying "I'm not gonna watch it" because they're involved

And I don't get it?

a) its not explicitly about the duggars, but about iblp - and you know who tends to have the best insight into a cult? the former members of that cult

b) there's other former members of iblp talking as well, so if the Dillards view doesn't match up with them, then it'll be quite clear

c) you do get that any journalist worth their salt is gonna cast as wide a net as possible? Of course, they would want to speak to one of the duggars

d) THE GROWTH. jill has shown an exceptional amount of growth over the past ten years.

This is jill around 10 years ago (2014)

Gearing up to release a Gothard-approved book, alongside her sisters, all about the IBLP way to live your life

For her to change so much that she's now actively speaking out against both IBLP and her family's involvement in it, why the hell would you not be interested in what she has to say?

[catchingbigfish]

Just popping in to say that your seminar paper sounds fascinating! If you feel like sharing more about it feel free, but completely no pressure at all. Your description of it in your tags just intrigued me~

oh my god thank you, you have NO idea how hyped i am to get a chance to talk about it!! this is going to be wayyyyy too much info and incredibly long, but i have no one to talk about except my class and we don't meet again until next thurs!

okay so i'm taking a rhetorics grad class and writing about, generally, the rhetoric of christian deconstruction and deconstructors' reclamation of power -- for anyone who doesn't know, deconstruction means people (i've only ever heard this in a christian context but i'm sure this could apply to other religions, i just genuinely am unfamiliar with those spaces) who decide to examine their faith, which is a super complicated process. this can range from "what is the biblical evidence for this topic" all the way to "do i still agree with this belief". so, i'm looking at: how do they talk about their experience of deconstruction, and what new sites of power do they adopt when leaving their faith

more specifically, though, i'm actually writing about memoirs published by two Duggar daughters (of the 19 Kids and Counting television show/franchise) this year! Jill Dillard published what is the closest thing there is to a Duggar-adjacent tell-all, and her sister Jinger Vuolo published a "theological memoir", where she explicitly refused to adopt the term "deconstruction" and instead created a new term, "disentanglement". for those who don't know, the Duggar family is a member of the Independent Fundamental Baptist denomination and the Institute in Basic Life Principles parachurch organization, both of which promote biblical patriarchy (aka, the man is the head of the house and the woman must submit to him) and purity culture (aka, your value is entirely determined by your virginity, and men are terrible horny creatures who cannot control themselves. also, women can't wear pants). both daughters' memoirs are about how they are no longer members of the IBLP, and to an extent, the IFB.

my pitch for the paper was to look at the IFB/IBLP rhetoric about power (the "umbrella of authority" in particular, but generally purity culture and biblical patriarchy) and then examine their new stated beliefs and how they negotiated the power to assert them -- like, looking at Dillard's discussion of her choice to start wearing pants and how she wanted her husband to just tell her what to do, and how when that resulted in blowback from her father, she attempted to placate him (as part of her "umbrella of authority") by calling him before she got a nose ring; and, of course, looking at how she had to deconstruct the belief in the "umbrella" to even write the book. also, looking at how Vuolo's memoir is influenced by her husband's career as a pastor and even though she's distanced herself from the headship/helpmeet dynamic, she's still replicating it by saying she shouldn't have control over her own life.

this has already gotten crazy long, so i'll put more about my research under a cut!!

i've been doing a lot of reading on super varied topics, but i'm reading a lot of TJ Geiger, Bethany Mannon, and Amorette Hinderaker -- the first two specifically look at exvangelical (ex-evangelical christian) rhetorics.

the paper i mentioned in my tags was specifically "Forgiveness Is More Than Platitudes: Evangelical Women, Sexual Violence, and Casuistic Tightening" by Geiger; it's a study of Beth Moore and the gymnast Rachel Denhollander, who both publicly condemned the church's response to abusers. it's *such* a good article, it took me forever to wrap my head around it (coming from a non-christian perspective who had no idea what the fuck casuistic meant) but it's absolutely fascinating, and argues Denhollander and Moore are, in essence, un-flattening the roles between "abuse victim" and "sexually immoral" and demanding churches make forgiveness more costly for the abuser instead of allowing them to brush abusers' crimes away by saying "god forgives them and you should, too". Mannon also wrote about Moore! she's what led me down this rabbit hole, i read a *different* article about Moore in Peithos, a feminist rhetoric journal, for a different project this semester!

Hinderaker looks at "organizational exit", a hot topic in organizational psychology, but she looks specifically at high-control religions instead of workplaces, which is where most of the research was before. i haven't confirmed this, but i suspect she may be ex-mormon? she has a really good article about the way people narrate their decision to leave high-demand religious groups, and argues the "reach" of an organization into a participant's life is actually the primary factor in exit, which goes against previous research (which focused on pay as the most important factor).

okay, i promise i'm almost done. i also read Pure by Linda Kay Klein for fun, then realized about 1/4 of the way in it fits the paper perfectly, because it's really about purity culture rhetorics. i also read The Preacher's Wife, which is about evangelical women celebrities, and helped me frame Vuolo's book in particular. the other genre i've been reading a lot is the general topic of feminist rhetorics, women's rhetorics, conservative and evangelical rhetorics, etc., which basically culminates in Charlotte Hoggs' article "Including Conservative Women’s Rhetorics in an 'Ethics of Hope and Care'", which is explicitly about incorporating the study of conservative rhetorics in the feminist rhetorics field.

[wtffundiefamilies]

Don't forget, Jill's book is out next week! I don't really want to give them my money - still mad about the whole family ministry fiasco - but if the library doesn't get a copy in, guess I'm gonna. I wonder why she chose to use the name Duggar instead of Dillard? I guess for easier recognition but I would've thought she'd do a hyphenate or something. But I hope that means somehow that Derick's involvement in the book is minimal. I would hope he knows that on one's THAT interested in HIS experiences with the Duggars, but Derick sure does love himself, so I guess we'll see.

Wow, the Duggar genes are STRONG in Samuel. He looks so much like Jed, but also Josiah and most of the other littler boys. If you threw him in the middle of the crew during 14 Children, he'd blend right in.

[geekymoviemom]

I was tagged by @srebrnafh thank you so much! 💖

What are your recent, current, and future reads?

Recent:

Counting the Cost - Jill Dillard (Duggar). I’m so proud of her for so publicly standing up to her disgusting father and his ugly teachings 💪

The Expanse Series - James S A Corey. I’ve completed the first 3 books in the series, will purchase the other two very soon. Absolutely incredible!

Current:

MCU: The Reign of Marvel Studios - Joanna Robinson, Dave Gonzales, and Gavin Edwards. Really cool behind the scenes stuff of the development of Marvel Studios and the MCU 🤓

Future:

Becoming Free Indeed - Jinger Vuolo (Duggar). Another Duggar sister who broke free of the cult. Can’t wait to dive into this 😏

The Expanse, the final two books once we purchase them 🤓

This was so much fun, thank you again for the tag! 💖

Tagging: @gaiagalit @mega-aulover @norbertsmom @sherlollyandspoilers @thelettersfromnoone and anyone else who would like to participate 💖

[crocodilefundie]

AHEM