#Jet theft

[turflamicgaming420]

This is hands down the best jet theft attempt I have ever done. I steal the jet and juke the missiles then take out the fighter jet they sent after me and juke their missiles again. Epic skills. Enjoy :)

[sporadictimetravelgarden]

rip jet you would've loved shoplifting from big corporations

[raxiraq1]

GRAND THEFT FANG : VICE ZONE

Look what i Found lost in Deviantart

[modularmedia]

Awarding a Giggle - Modular Components Episode One Hundred and Eighteen

The boys spent a Busterless night talking about many things they enjoy.

[chloe12801]

This video has content this community will go feral over, so I figured I’d share

[tumblehcendrum]

FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH

I'm a sitting enthusiast to my very core and let me tell you you're super right. A city isn't a place you can be on foot if you're forced to stand around for however long you're staying. You may be able to navigate it by foot but if you can't sit down design language is essentially telling you to piss off.

This is also exacerbated by the lack of places one is welcome in without a purchase or affiliation. One doesn't negate the need for the other (some people will just need a little rest from running or carrying stuff, other people will need shelter from rain or a little place to work), but they'd sure alleviate it a bit.

Also yeah WATER WATER WATER. Dunno bout y'all but we have sanctioned that it is a human right - and frankly, in any state that does not reserve itself the right to kill anyone they wanna, it is implicit that life is a right and life requires water so water is a right. So if you don't have a place where you can drink water for free without it passing off as some generous favor, you are being stripped of your rights. End of story.

walkable cities also means sittable cities send tweet

[jjungkookislife]

Call Out My Name

pairing: hero!joon x villain!reader

genre: angst, hero au, 18+

summary: Local hero, RM, calls out your name, not your alias.

wc: 1k

warnings: crimes (mostly theft), fighting, violence, reader has fireballs that shoot from her hands, mention of death

date: September 12, 2024

Three years you’d been fighting the irksome RM, in his black hero costume that showed off his amazing pecs.

Three long years of fighting over your crimes, your desire for more, your desire to win.

Time after time RM had come to stop you. It seemed he’d find you at the drop of a dime, always there even before the cops were called or the alarms blared in annoyance to ruin your scheme.

You paid it no mind. Your eyes were set on sparkling jewels, loaded bank vaults, and the jets of the rich and famous. Stacks and stacks of cash fill one of your homes by the sea, a secret destination only you knew about. 

RM arrives at the rooftop as the blades from your acquired helicopter make it hard to hear anything except the blaring of the alarms from the bank store ten floors below. You’re so close to your escape, your sidekick sitting in the helicopter waiting for you before he takes off. Time is ticking, he won’t wait forever.

You toss the money bags toward him, ignoring RM’s shouts for you to cease. 

“That doesn’t belong to you!” He shouts and you barely make out the words over the helicopter blades. 

“Everything can belong to me if I take it, sweetheart,” you grin as you prepare to step into the helicopter to your escape.

RM throws his rope with the grappling hook at the end and catches your villain suit, tugging you toward him. 

What a fool.

You knew better than to turn your back on an enemy.

What a rookie mistake.

Your body soars through the air but you spin and catch yourself on your fingertips, much like a cat landing on its feet. You’re agile, able to slink unnoticed most of the time but RM is always at the right place at the wrong time. 

Something about him has always struck a chord inside you. That’s possibly why you did your best not to harm him too roughly. He had a strong physique but his heart seemed tender, especially when it came to you. He always softened his punches when it came to a fistfight. 

“You always have to ruin my plans, RM! This is the last time you do,” you announce as you rip the hook and toss it over the edge of the building. Your heels click as they cross the distance between you, your eyes locked on his. 

RM huffs, his arm blocking the punch you try to land. You curse, immediately going for another punch before the two of you fight and land blows against his concrete chest. 

“Is that the best you’ve got?” RM goads as he dodges a punch and then a kick to the shin. You growl, ducking and diving to avoid his hits. 

You flip back twice and then forward once. You need to distract him long enough to get into the air. 

RM approached you but you flipped forward as he took steps backward to avoid your kicks and the fireballs aimed at him. 

He teeters on the edge of the building, losing his balance and falling off the roof. 

You watch in horror, frozen in your spot. You never meant to kill him. 

Your name fills the air in a terrified shout. Not your villain alias, your real name. Your heart thunders in your ears as your name is called out once more. 

You approach the edge of the building. RM grips the edge, his body dangling as he looks up at you with a pleading look. His grip loosens, he looks down, his fingers slipping off the edge as he meets your gaze one last time. 

His hand lets go.

You catch him by the hand before he can plummet.

“You know my name,” You state as you pull him over the edge and onto the roof. The helicopter blades grow louder as your sidekick takes off leaving you behind, but you don’t give a damn as you stare at those deep brown eyes that make your heart flip.

“I’ve always known your name,” Namjoon responds as he removes his mask. “How could I not?”

Your childhood friend stands before you, his dark hair falling over his eyes. Those familiar dragon eyes that make your heart skip a beat.

“You knew,” you whisper as you fall to your knees. Your hands tremble as you place them on your lap. Your crimes had almost led to your best friend's death. 

Namjoon watches you intently, approaching you. He throws his mask as far away as possible. You can’t face him. You won’t.

You rise to your feet, running away from him.

Namjoon calls out your name, but you don’t stop running. You jump from one building to the next with him hot on your tail.

“Please,” he grips your arms when he finally catches you. “Don’t run from me.”

“You could have died!” you screech, tears rolling down your cheeks. “You almost died! I almost lost you, Joon!”

“But you didn’t! Okay?! You didn’t. I’m right here,” Namjoon holds you tighter, pulling you into his broad chest as you sob. Your arms wrap around him as he rubs your back. “I’m right here.”

“I’m sorry,” you cry. “I’m so, sorry.”

“Shh,” Namjoon hushes you as he holds you. 

“How long did you know?” you ask in between hiccups as you wipe your eyes.

“Since you first ran out of the house with your mask in your hand. You stole that black diamond from the museum downtown.” Namjoon shakes his head.

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

“Because I love you,” Namjoon answers honestly. “I’ve always loved you.”

You’re left speechless.

Namjoon doesn’t expect an answer from you as he takes a step back. 

“You can’t have your life of crime and me. It’s one or the other,” Namjoon states firmly as he heads to the edge of the building.

“Namjoon!” you shout, chasing after him.

Namjoon smiles, “Just call out my name when you’ve decided.”

“Don’t go!” You yell, new tears pooling in your eyes.

He doesn’t stop, instead he throws himself over the building. You scream his name as you race to the edge, your heart dropping to your feet before you see Namjoon land on his feet and take off down the road.

“Namjoon,” you whisper. “I choose you. I’ll always choose you.”

[weebsinstash]

I haven't posted about it in ages but I still think CONSTANTLY about a soulmate scenario between a reluctant Reader and a yandere Lex Luthor because... he's just such an intelligent and powerful man that, like girlypop, he could genuinely make or break your entire fucking life in a laundry list of ways

Things like... in the very very very beginning, when you've met him and he knows you're soulmates but you're still putting him off and rejecting him, you see something on TV about, politicians are proposing a bill where a soulmate can make legal and medical decisions for their bonded if that person is unable to make those decisions themselves, some bill named after some random metropolis citizen where their soulmate lover died because the next of kin family they were estranged from were allowed to make medical decisions instead and their lover died, like it's something you would totally see on the news for real.

Then, months and months later after you're in a relationship with Lex, he's hosting a party and you see some of those very same politicians there, overhearing them thanking Lex for his contributions. Snapcut to a day you really REALLY do something to defy him, either you're rejecting him or trying to break up with him or trying to run away or, all of the above but also you do legitimately have some mental health issues, and here Lex is, now having the full legal power to say, "oh honey, now you have to go to the hospital :( why would you make me have to do this :(" and you get to go on your Super Duper Funtime Adventure to a private clinic he coincidentally has made some major financial donations to.

Genuinely I feel like I've mentioned this before but I feel like there's a real... personal horror in the idea of "my yandere took me to a doctor and that doctor diagnosed me with stuff and I have no idea if I genuinely have those disorders or if my yandere paid the doctor to say those things" because the twist is tasty in either direction??? Is your yandere delusional and trying to chalk up your rejections to extreme anxiety and other grasped straws and insists you be medicated so you can love them? Is your yandere just trying to legitimately help, and you actually genuinely did see a legitimate non biased doctor? Is your yandere actually totally just lying and they just want you to be more obedient and reliant on them, have doubts in yourself and trust them alone, letting them make decisions for you? It's all so good...and then not knowing would stress you out and make you paranoid even MORE...

but then I also think of like. How he could genuinely try to make gestures to win you over and things he could do that are positive. You two are just getting to know each other and you're extremely reluctant to do anything and, while internally he wants to do these quite grand little expenses for you, he's willing to analyze you and calculate a plan of making smaller gestures over time. At least, smaller in the scale that he's like one of the top richest and smartest creatures on his entire planet, and that's a planet with aliens and magical creatures on it, but, you know. He'll try and tone it down a little-

I've had this idea where like... he gives you this expensive bracelet or ring or necklace or watch, some sort of accesory, as a gift and, being the self loathing person that you are, you're out on the town one day and you walk into a higher end jewlery store because you feel like punishing yourself by trying to figure out how much money was spent on your gift, and, through whatever means, the store accuses you of theft (because you're just a dirty poor person, why would you have this nice thing unless you swiped it) and maybe they even have the audacity to technically assault you and take it off of your person

Somewhere on the other side of the world in a conference room, there's a hidden earpiece buzzing, "Mr Luthor we have a situation-" and he's on a private jet within the half-hour. He gets there and you've either been arrested and put in a cell or he gets there to find you getting manhandled by police because you're technically resisting arrest by panicking, "please just look at the footage, i didn't do anything wrong-" and he flies into a rage at the way you're being jerked and tugged and twisted until you're crying out that they're hurting you

Police department? Sued. That store? Sued. Bankrupted. Bought out. Bulldozed. It's a gentrified downtown sculpture garden now. Lex buys you another gift that's even nicer than the first since the first one has now been "tainted" with this bad memory, plus he's now indirectly (but, of course, with calculations) has made a very VERY public warning to anyone who would dare to harm you in any way whatsoever.

He's a very, "sweetie didn't you ask for no pickles? Should I have them killed for you? It wouldn't be any trouble at all-" kind of guy

Lex Luthor who catches wind of confidential news that a mysterious asteroid has crashed down on an island off the coast of Fake DC Country and he plans a research expedition to study its contents BUT ALSO that same day he's like "darling have you ever gotten to eat freshly caught crab before?" and suddenly you're jet-setting off to a tropical island, because what kind of evil supervillain future-husband would he be if he didn't turn his research expedition into potential alien activity into a bonus vacation with his pookie?

You're wandering the beaches or exploring the tide when you find this pretty little gemstone that may or may not turn out to be platinum Kryptonite that was brought to Earth by the meteorite and you're now the first organic creature that has touched it.

I like the idea of, you develop these powers and suddenly you have all these new potential problems but also possibilities? Sure you're suddenly under Batman and the government's radar, but, think of all the good you can do now that you can fly, have super strength invulnerability, the works? Meanwhile Lex is simultaneously fascinated, curious, proud, but also, wanting to research this, see if it can be replicated, exploited.

Part of me is like, would he be 500% against you going into danger or would at the very most try and harvest your blood or something, OR, now that he knows there's really not much danger to you, he's like "oh, you want to be a little superhero? Oh, how adorable sweetie, let me help design your costume-" and he's, hm, I dunno if it would be entirely incorrect to say he's lowkey using you like a tool in the sense of, you're testing things he develops, he's observing and researching your powers, he's getting to watch you "play and have fun" while also gaining new research data from you, and also making connections with powerful people. He may even... pull some strings to have you do something in his favor. "Oh darling what's wrong? Oh no, that facility you attacked because you got 'information' they were terrorists were actually innocent people and now that country has been seized by hostile powers that have coincidentally agreed to let my company mine lithium there? Oh nooooooo :( darling I'm so sorry, we all make mistakes, I still love you-" or he just like, makes more business deals because he receives, shall we say, secondhand clout from any and all of your accomplishments should you become a hero

Lest we forget, there's a version of Lex Luthor who once built a powerplant under a Metropolis neighborhood and made it deliberately look suspicious as fuck just because he wanted Superman to attack it and make a fool of himself and upset the public because "what the fuck superman why did you just ruin this totally helpful normal thing just because Lex Luthor made it, thanks dickhead". Luthor is incredibly calculating, driven, petty, and has deep deep pockets and plenty of resources for any possible fantasy he has, and also he's 1000% willing to crash out if it involves Superman WHICH IS ALSO WHY I think it would be incredibly hilarious if he's just BEYOND PISSED that you developing powers means you need mentorship from Superman and Lex is forced to watch the two of you have like.... Genuine Moments

You develop the ability to fly for the first time and you're just high up in air jerking around shrieking unable to control yourself and you have no idea what to do and while Lex is still trying to formulate a way to get you down, here comes Kal, able to fly up, gently grab you, hold you in place as he talks you down, teaches you how to float, holding your hands and speaking so softly and kindly as he teaches you how to descend and the two of you sloooooooowly dip down until your feet are on the ground again

Cut to Lex being absolutely furious because not only did he "have that handled" but why is Superman feeling so emboldened to place his hands on yours, on your shoulders, giving you a comforting hug when you burst into tears about how scared you were and thanking him for saving you? You and Superman are like tenderly platonicly hugging and there's reporters and a little crowd nearby doing the whole "Awwww 🥺❤️" and meanwhile Lex is over here turning red as a tomato just absolutely steaming 'ugh I can't believe Superman showed up I hate him I hate him I hate him L + ratio + you're a loser I hate you die die die die'

Kal opens his mouth and offers to be your teacher and here's Lex trying to be a big man, storming up all but bumping chests with the guy, "➡️I⬅️ can help take care of my own mate, Superman 😡" meanwhile you're standing there ACTUALLY EMBARRASSED BY LEX, like can you even imagine the levels of "open wound, insert salt" of Lex puffing up against Superman because he's fucking jealous and then you're like "omg Lex you can't be mean to Superman! He just helped me!! Apologize, what the fuck?!" and you're clearly like, a fan or a person who looks up to the boy in blue and said boyscout may even brush a lil bit bc, you know, his mama did try to raise a kind honest man and, he sure is happy his efforts are appreciated-

Have I mentioned I see Lex Luthor having an eidetic memory, as in the condition where you never forget anything, which I think would make him really terrifying to deal with, actually. He'll literally be able to study and memorize every single thing about you, everything he notices, everything you say, do, all your little behaviors, quirks, habits, addictions, and it'd also make him a monster during arguments because what are you gonna do, tell the supergenius he's misremembering? Dude is over here inventing robots like Amazo and curing cancer AND he can never forget? Why not just fucking lobotomize me since you wanna make me feel so dumb-

[gayelderstourney]

OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Jean Valjean/Javert:

One of the OG enemies to lovers. In the novel and musical, Valjean and Javert have complex, intertwined, and mirrored narratives which make them a fascinating ship to analyze. Also, there is a lot of hot fanfiction about them.

javert chases valjean around for at least 20 years because he broke parole and that's a big plot point. (jvj went to jail for bread theft if it matters.) considering how long that is and how much javert feels the need to do said chasing around that's kinda gay. also at one point javert is employed by valjean (except he doesn't know it's him and knows him as m. madeleine) and then asks madeleine to fire him. because he thought he was valjean and wanted to send him to jail even though he IS valjean. but some other guy got framed instead so it checks out and then WAY later on the barricades javert gets captured by a bunch of college students and valjean sets him free. this causes javert to have an existential crisis because 'OH NO HE'S A CRIMINAL BUT HE'S NICE TO ME' and then he kills himself. (also they have a very awkward carriage ride together. along with the unconscious body of valjean's future son-in-law. after valjean was in the parisian sewers and therefore covered in sewer water.)

what if i was an escaped convict and also the extremely benevolent mayor of a small jet producing town who broke into people's houses to give them money. and you were a furry cop trying to arrest me anyway. and then i save you from execution in the June rebellion and you realise that the police are not a symbol of justice but authority and being a criminal in the eyes of the law is completely separate from being a bad person. and this fucked you up so bad you killed yourself.

fuck those twinks in les mis these are the real finest gay love story victor hugo ever invented. javert literally followed valjean across france for decades because of his psychosexual obsession with recapturing him. valjean had the chance to kill him and spared his life, thus jump-starting javert's entire emotional arc. they're deranged and obsessive and they should kiss on the mouth

javert threw himself off a bridge bcs he was so mad the guy he was obsessively chasing was actually a good person depsite being a criminal theres gay ass old man yuri here

When you build your entire life around the existence of a man you despise is that still gay or do we need to invent something that transcends homosexuality. Asking for a friend.

fellas is it gay to spend your entire life chasing another man to arrest him even though all he did was steal a loaf of bread

Ravenpaw/Barley:

kitties who were outcast from previous groups they were a part of and find and live with each other. they are canonical mates even though theyre both dudes. they grow old together, but ravenpaw gets cancer and dies before barley (he lives to be considered old in warrior cats years). however ravenpaw wanted to be in the same kitty afterlife that barley will go to, so they can be together in kitty afterlife. barley is still alive though as far as we know and might be the oldest living cat in the series now. also i just think its funny to call little kitty cats "old man yaoi"

[thankyouforthev3n0m]

recommend me a song for each letter of the alphabet :))))))

American Idiot

Bulls In The Bronx

Caraphernelia

Demolition Lovers

Emergency Contact

Fer Sure

Grand Theft Autumn/ Where Is Your Boy

Hold On Till May

I Don’t Love You

Jet Pack Blues

Kissing In Cars

Labyrinth

Makedamnsure

Not Now

Ohio is for lovers

Pray for plagues

idk man

RICHMAN

STARSTRUKK

There’s no penguins in alaska

Up All Night

VOID

Williamsburg

😭

Yeah Boy And Doll Face

idk

[zirawrites]

Fallout 4 companions reaction to sole who used to be criminal back in the old days before the bombs fell? They used to be a pro thief as they would rob banks and jewelery stores.

Cait: "I knew there was a reason we got on so well, Sole!" Cait threw an arm around her companion's shoulders. "So, what was your biggest score? And care to try it again? I reckon caps are easier to nick than jewels."

Codsworth: The Mr. Handy's body rattled in horror. "My word, sir/ma'am! Surely you jest. Our home was purchased with honest money. Why, you had reputable employment. Why would we have needed to steal?" He shook himself in disagreement. "This is a prank, isn't it? Well, it's not very funny. You've been spending too much time with Deacon."

Curie: "The psychology around kleptomania is actually quite fascinating." Curie badgered Sole with questions about their motivations behind their theft; seemingly uninterested in the heists themselves. Sole was so overwhelmed that they eventually lied that it was a joke.

Danse: "And you thought that was appropriate to confess to a Paladin?" Danse crossed his arms in admonishment. "I suggest you recant that statement before it gets noted in your records."

Deacon: Deacon reckoned that being a liar didn't give him the best moral standing to judge his partner for their criminal past. "That'll come in handy when dealing with the Institute." Then he patted his pockets. "Just don't get any ideas about borrowing my things. Tinker Tom does that enough already. This merry band we've got is running me dry."

Hancock: "Get in line with every other drifter who's blown through my town." The ghoul handed Sole a can of jet and gestured to his apartment. "Though I wouldn't mind hearing about some of those scores. Dishonest work makes for some of the best stories."

MacCready: "Woah, nice! What's the most expensive thing you've ever swiped?" MacCready pulled out a lighter from his duster. "Sometimes I help myself to a trinket or two from a target. This here is the best lighter I've ever used. Stole it off a serial killer, so I don't feel too bad about it." Then he shivered. "You don't think it has, like, bad energy, do you? Maybe I should toss it..."

Preston: "I don't think you'd want to admit that in earshot of any other Minutemen," he warned. "Don't think they'd take kindly to knowing our general's loyalties are... questionable." Then Preston checked his coat. "Wait, you haven't stolen anything from me, have you?"

Piper: "If you weren't my friend, I'd interview you for a feature on your greatest pre-war heists." Piper shrugged, her disappointment obvious. "But I'd hate to besmirch the goody-two-shoes image you've cultivated in the Commonwealth. Even if it loses me some sales."

Nick: "That's not exactly something you should brag about, kid." Nick looked the the perfect example of a displeased parent. "Some criminals make for the best detectives. They know how the bad guys' minds work. But don't get any bright ideas about pulling one over on me."

X6-88: "Surely not a common thief, though." X6 frowned. "Are we talking fancy jewelry stores? Big banks? Whatever you stole, I'm sure you got more out of it than a simple raider."

Edit: Just as Sole thawed from cryofreeze, I have returned.

[wallowing-wallflowers]

How The Coyote Stole The Stars

By Fern

Long ago, in the stretching granite mountains of Idaho, there lived a mischievous and keen Coyote. Coyote had always been captivated by the night sky, especially with the bright stars that sparkled like precious gemstones. A relentless desire to possess the glory of the stars caused Coyote to plan a scheme; to one night steal them from the heavens.

Under the cover of darkness, Coyote stealthily approached the nighttime canvas, his eyes gleaming with mischief. He lept and snatched all of the stars in his maw, weaving them into his fur until he shined as brightly as the night sky itself, all while grinning gleefully. As Coyote reveled in his newfound glow, the night grew dimmer, and the once-beautiful sky lost its brilliance.

Concerned for the balance of light and nature, Raven, a wise and crafty bird known for his friendship with Coyote, noticed the fading stars and felt compelled to step in. Soaring across the dark sky, Raven used his jet-black feathers and sharp wit to locate Coyote and confront him.

"Coyote, my friend, the beauty of the stars belongs to everyone," he squawked as he perched on a rock and faced Coyote. "Dimming the night for all creatures, taking them for yourself, it’s not right! Please, consider recanting your theft and sharing their brilliance with the world."

But Raven's plea was disregarded by Coyote, who was not just captivated but oddly empowered by the stolen light of the stars. "The stars are mine now, and mine alone. I won't share their beauty with anyone," he proclaimed stubbornly.

Undeterred, Raven decided to ask Wolf for support. Wolf, who was renowned for his strength and fearlessness, agreed to go with Raven on a journey to persuade Coyote to change his mind.

The duo ventured through the vast mountains using their night vision to see despite the dying light of the night sky. At last they came to Coyote's den, where he sat, soaked in the starlight. They approached him with a combination of intimidation and flattery. Raven and Wolf pleaded with Coyote to see reason.

Wolf, with a voice like a gentle breeze, spoke first: "Coyote, stealing the stars is not the way. Let us find an agreement that preserves the beauty of the night for everyone, and that allows you to keep some of the beauty for yourself.

After a great deal of convincing from both Raven and Wolf, Coyote begrudgingly accepted a compromise. Wolf suggested Coyote save just one jar of stars for himself, letting the rest of the stars return to the night sky and light up the earth for all creatures. 

With a heavy sigh, Coyote released most of the stolen stars, watching them ascend like snow, back to their skyward home. The night sky, once dimmed, regained its dazzling beauty, and the balance of nature was restored.

[yae-energy]

get in bitch, we’re going shopping

synopsis: my take on what it’s like going to the mall with saiki and friends

cast: kusuo saiki, shun kaidou, aren kuboyasu x shopaholic black fem reader (all platonic)

cw: theft (kuboyasu’s part) , cursing

a/n: this won the poll so come get y’all snacks ! this was also mega fun to write omg 😭😭😭

—

saiki - doesn’t even wanna be there

- bro just wants to stay home ong 😭

- def keeps that germanium ring on him cause he is not trynna hear everybody’s nasty ass thoughts

- sticks close to you if you’re in a group cause you’re the only one who isn’t stressing him out

- also cause you tend to wander off when looking at display windows

- has to keep you from going into every store y’all come across but man is that an exhausting job

- like he don’t wanna be there all damn day

- but having to stop you from getting pouty cause they didn’t have the sneakers you want is worse

- will literally use his clairvoyance to find the shoes in another store and then swap it with a different pair of the same value so you can shut the hell up 😭 (love a supportive king !!)

“they dont have the shoes?? i literally waited all damn day for those and they don’t even- …. huh? since when did these get here?”

“must be magic, now let’s get the hell outta here PLEASE”

- food court enthusiast !!!

- without a doubt his favorite place in the mall

- buys you both lunch

- also buys you a key chain as a gift cause he saw you eyeing it in one of the windows, and puts it in one of your bags so you’ll see it when you get home

- will not tell you he bought it

- you rambling to him on the way to school the next day about how you must’ve gotten it by mistake is a reward in itself

—

kaidou - shopaholic bestie

- just like you, kaido loves a good shopping spree !!!

- he’s gotta deck himself out so dark reunion knows who they messing with !!!

- they don’t call him the jet black wings for nothing 😤

- gives surprisingly good fashion advice

“this color brings out your skin tone you should get this”

“these shoes match that hat you should get these”

“gold accessories fit your skin perfectly”

- loves when you give him a fashion show if you’re trying on clothes

- will literally make you runway walk 💀

- hot topic king !!!!

- prob their biggest buyer tbh

- gets those corny graphic tees and you have to BEG him to not wear them in public

- like he genuinely thinks they’re cool and you’re like

“😬…lets not”

- goes straight to the bookstore to see if they have any new manga

- will be there for hours if you don’t pull him out

- like he dead read a whole book once while you were out looking for bags

- you bought it for him as a treat cause he carried all your bags for you

—

kuboyasu - a thief in the night

- im sorry y’all but this man def steals (same tho/hj)

- and doesn’t give a fuck either

- but most of the time it’s not even on purpose fr

- like he’ll pick up something and be like

“damn this shit cool ash”

- then will forget he has it in his hand and walk out with it 😭

- is banned from 3 of your favorite stores for doing this so he just stands outside like a club bouncer and waits for you

- best believe if someone tries to get at you he’s there to keep em in check !!

- once a cashier tried to get your number and he was not having it

“nuh uh”

- like 🤷🏽‍♀️ sorry but if they look like a loser he’s not letting it happen

- people assume you guys are dating cause he does that but he’s just a little protective fr

- he ain’t letting no scrub try to take you out, tf he look like?

- steals you that expensive bag you wanted

- goes with you into the makeup stores and lets you swatch the lipsticks on him if you run out of room on your hand

- will be mad if they don’t have your shade in anything and curse out the employees

- gets banned

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

By - Jessica Wildfire

You’ve been lied to, over and over, about Covid.

Here’s a recent example:

A public health grifter in Australia named Nick Coatsworth recently urged schools to “save your money” because “any investment in air filtration is unproven and wastes precious resources” and that “Covid is no more harmful to kids than any respiratory virus.” You’ve heard this before, from dozens of highly credentialed doctors and public health officials, all of them with their own motives.

In reality…

Up to 25 percent of children who catch Covid go on to develop Long Covid, a euphemistic term that describes long-lasting damage to virtually every organ and system in their bodies. One recent study has estimated that 5.8 million children in the U.S. currently suffer from the condition.

There are dozens of studies.

In many cases, children who were healthy and happy go from performing well in school and having lots of friends to barely being able to solve simple math problems and withdrawing socially, even after a mild illness.

As a pediatrician at NYU has said, “This is a public health crisis for children,” adding that we’re going to see the “long-term impacts of experiencing long covid in childhood for decades to come.”

So when someone tells you that Covid is a mild illness for children, they’re lying. They’re doing harm to your children. You should get angry.

People are sicker than ever, and it’s getting worse.

When they say air purifiers don’t work…

They’re also lying.

Public health officials like Ashish Jha and Rochelle Walensky have advised their own children’s schools to spend millions of dollars installing clean air systems at the beginning of the pandemic. Rich parents joined them. Jha and Walenksy, like Mandy Cohen after them, have become some of the most notorious Covid minimizers on the planet, continually spreading misinformation and encouraging a culture of “personal risk assessment” that has driven a mass disabling event, with tens of millions of adults and children now suffering from chronic illness and disability, with slim hope for treatment in the near future. It’s not because we lack knowledge, but because our governments lack initiative.

Meanwhile, they spare no expense for their own families.

You deserve to know the truth.

In the U.S., our government originally allocated billions of dollars explicitly for the purpose of installing air cleaning systems in schools.

What happened to all that money?

First, many states explicitly refused to spend those funds. They redirected as much of it as possible. At the same time, CEOs pulled off what federal prosecutors call “the biggest fraud in a generation,” spending pandemic relief dollars on toys. Even NBC reported on the scandal, describing how the rich engaged in “the theft of hundreds of billions of dollars in taxpayer money” by “purchasing luxury automobiles” as well as “mansions, private jet flights and swanky vacations.” They didn’t just raid payroll protection. They also took $80 billion from other disaster relief funds. As one attorney said, “Nothing like this has ever happened before.” It’s theft on a massive scale, and it happened during both administrations.

The rich did all of this while the rest of us were dragging ourselves through the hardest years of our lives. And of course, you remember how the minute things started looking a little brighter, those who stole from us started complaining about how we didn’t want to work anymore, and we had too much cash. Some of these thieves were prosecuted, but many more got away with it.

It gets worse.

While the rich were spending pandemic funds on yachts and sports cars, our governments were spending money on police, prisons, and courts. According to a bombshell report by The Marshall Project, “billions of dollars flowed to the criminal justice system by the first quarter of 2022, from covering payroll to purchasing new equipment,” as well as “courts, jails, and prisons.” The equipment included tasers, rifles, shooting ranges, and armored vehicles. Governments were very clever in how they framed their purchases. In one case, a town in Alabama said new tasers with longer ranges would help curb the spread of Covid, since “officers will not have to get so close to the perpetrator.” Another city said armored vehicles make the public feel safer during challenging times.

By the middle of 2023, an investigation by Epic uncovered that at least 70 different municipalities were spending even more relief funds on police surveillance equipment, mobile forensic technologies, monitoring stations, and drones. They also bought software to spy on our social media.

Basically, while the rich were stealing from us, our governments went to absurd lengths to spend billions of dollars on anything other than clean air. By 2022, Biden was even giving governments his blessing to do so, using the unspent funds as proof that he supported law enforcement, a largely political move. As The New York Times reported, Biden was “making a forceful push” ahead of midterm elections “to show he is a defender of law enforcement.” As PBS explained, Biden urged governors to spend the rest of the money on law enforcement even as the treasury department released another round of funds.

So, that’s why our schools don’t have air purifiers.

We have an overwhelming amount of information that HEPA air purifiers work. They don’t stop transmission in cases where someone is sitting or standing right next to you without a mask, but they remove anywhere from 70 to 99 percent of the virus in the air, when they’re installed properly.

They significantly reduce your risk.

Indoor air experts can tell you a lot more about how to maximize the efficiency of air purifiers and ventilation systems. The end of this post offers resources toward that end. For now, we’re just going to talk about the simple point that they work. There’s absolutely no reason not to fund them, especially given that our children’s futures depend on it. Let’s get started.

Carl Van Keirsbilck has written an extensive review of studies on the effectiveness of air purifiers. Nina Notman provides an extensive overview on the benefits of clean air, including air purifiers and why certain types might be so reluctant to embrace them. So does Andrew Nikiforuk.

First, the CDC found that adding two HEPA air purifiers “reduced overall exposure to simulated exhaled aerosol particles by up to 65 percent without universal masking.” When you add masks, it goes up to 90 percent. They recommend HEPA purifiers as part of an overall clean air strategy.

A review of more than 50 different studies in Indoor Air found that “when HEPA filters were utilized, regardless of the type of ventilation, number of ACH [air changes per hour] or hospital area, minimal surface-born and no airborne SARS-CoV-2 RNA was detected.” In other words, HEPA filters can significantly reduce the amount of virus in the air, even when you might struggle to ventilate a space.

A study in Environmental Science: Processes & Impacts found that portable air cleaners used in classrooms “reduce the mean aerosol intake of all students by up to 66 percent.” A study in Physics of Fluids found that using multiple HEPA purifiers in a classroom led to a reduction in viral aerosols “between 70% and 90%.” A study reported in Buildings & Facilities Management found that using a HEPA purifier in combination with open windows led to a 73 percent drop in the risk of infection in classrooms. A study in Virology found that a HEPA filter could remove between 80 and 99 percent of viral aerosols from a room.

A study in Aerosol Science and Technology found that when researchers installed four air purifiers in a high school classroom, “the aerosol concentration” of Covid “was reduced by more than 90 percent within less than 30 min” and the reduction “was homogeneous throughout the room…”

A study in the Journal of Hospital Infection found that HEPA filters can “reduce the viral load in air” by as much as 99 percent and that “air purification systems can be used as an adjunctive infection control measure.” A brief article in Nature reported that an ICU in Cambridge used HEPA purifiers to largely remove Covid and other pathogens from their wards. That brief report turned into a full study published in Clinical Infectious Diseases, showing that not only do these filters remove Covid but also “significantly reduced levels of bacterial, fungal, and other viral bioaerosols on both the surge ward and the ICU.”

A study in Infection Control & Hospital Epidemiology found that by using two HEPA air purifiers, “99% of aerosols could be cleared within 5.5 minutes.”

A study in Building and Environment found that combining air purifiers with ventilation in a gym “can reduce aerosol particle concentrations” by up to 90 percent, “depending on aerosol size.” Another study in the same journal found that adding a portable air purifier to a hospital patient’s room “could prevent the migration of nearly 98% of surrogate aerosols…”

So when someone says investment in air filters or purifiers is “unproven” or “a waste of resources,” they’re not just wrong.

They’re lying.

There’s a major movement for clean indoor air.

Many of these researchers gathered last fall at the Clean Air Expo, a virtual conference hosted by the World Health Network, where experts and advocates shared their knowledge and strategies for getting the public on board with the message. I sat through every minute of it, and I learned a lot.

(You can watch the stream here.)

Some cities like Boston have already deployed sophisticated air-cleaning systems and air quality monitors in their public schools. They did it because parents and teachers teamed up with nonprofits to get the job done. Groups like Indoor Air Quality Advocates are building local, regional, and national networks to do the same. Advocates like Liesl McConchie are touring schools and speaking at school board meetings to spread the truth. HVAC experts like Joey Fox run blogs to educate the public on effective strategies.

Companies like Clean Air Kits are changing the game by offering quiet, affordable PC Fan filters and quick guides on how to use them.

Startups like the Air Support Project are taking the Corsi-Rosenthal box into commercial territory, to make them more accessible and to clear the red tape that often keeps them out of schools. Other companies like SmartAir are providing people with portable air purifiers when they need extra protection.

Consumer Reports explains how air purifiers work and tests the most popular brands. Groups like the Clean Air Crew have posted multiple tutorials on clean air, including buying guides. Confused parents and teachers can also visit Clean Air Stars to find affordable, reliable filters.

The elite will tell you that clean air is a waste of money while they spend millions of dollars on it themselves, all while big tech companies make special deals with energy utilities to restart nuclear reactors and coal plants to power their data centers. They’re not being very honest, are they?

Maybe it’s comforting to believe that air purifiers don’t work, that Covid doesn’t make anyone very sick anymore, and that we don’t have to figure any of this out. Deep down, you probably know it’s not true.

Public health agencies are staying silent on clean air, and sellout doctors are pushing misinformation, all because our governments gave our clean air money to the police and let the rich walk away with hundreds of billions of it, which they spent on sports cars and vacations. Instead of facing consequences, they would rather have you believe that air purifiers don’t work.

Your children deserve clean air.

So do you.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Parasite: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: You're not going to let these nightmares control you. You're not going to succumb to the pain that's so desperately clutching to you. Well, that's what you tell yourself.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"If I am what I have, and if I lose what I have, who then am I?" German Psychologist Erich Fromm

Before you walk into work, you look at the building in thought. I'm going to do better. I'm going to be better. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep feeling like this. You won't let these nightmares affect you as much as you know they are. You head inside work and immediately go to the briefing room where everyone else is.

Everyone looks at you as soon as you walk in.

"Sorry I'm late," you mumble and sit down next to Spencer.

He immediately grabs your hand and rubs his thumb across the back of your hand. There is another man you've never seen before inside the room next to JJ. She must know him.

"Everyone, this is Agent Russell Goldman from the San Diego White-collar team." She smiles at Russell. "You've already met Agent Hotchner. These are agents Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss, Reid, and Y/N."

"A pleasure," Russell nods.

"We're working a white-collar case?" Derek asks.

"No exactly."

"I've been following our con artist for five years. Two nights ago, I think he killed someone."

JJ puts pictures of the victim and her crime scene on the board.

"Carla Marshall of Miami was found dead in her home from asphyxiation by strangulation. She also had trauma wounds to the head."

"Why do you think the con man killed her?"

"Last week, Carla contacted a fraud website to report a scam. The complaint ended up on my desk," Russell explains. "We spoke on the phone at length. Her story matched my guy to the 'T'. She planned on confronting him that night. I told her to cease all communications and wait for me to fly to Miami and set up a sting. That never happened."

"Do you have physical evidence confirming it's your guy?" Derek asks.

"No, but for her to be murdered the night that we spoke, I don't think it was a coincidence."

"There was no sign of forced entry, theft, or sexual assault, and judging from the MO, the motive was personal."

"What's his hustle?" Emily asks.

"Investment fraud. Basically, he's a smaller Madoff."

"To give you an idea of how convincing he is, this is a sampling of his work going back fourteen years."

JJ shows proof of complaints about this guy and everything he's been involved in since.

"He's scammed hundreds of thousands of dollars from people, but he's never been violent before."

"Con men don't usually murder but when they do, it's to conceal their crimes. They may be con men but they profile as psychopaths. They see their cons as theater and themselves as a sort of puppeteer. They have to have absolute control over their victims and their cons."

"Maybe that's why he started killing? Because he lost control?" Emily theorizes.

"The question is, how out of control is he?"

"Well, if he's spiraling, he's a danger to everyone around him. Because he's so charming, the victims never see it coming."

Russell is nervous which also makes you nervous. You put your thumbnail in your mouth to chew on it but Spencer gently takes your hand out and holds it between both of his. You smile gratefully at him but that doesn't help to ease your anxiety.

"I can't believe you guys have your own jet," Russell gasps when he sees it.

"We take turns piloting. Do you want to give her a try?" Emily jokes.

"Really?"

"No," she chuckles.

When everyone gets settled in, Derek continues the conversation from the meeting.

"What kind of forensic countermeasures does he use to hide his trail?" Derek asks.

"Fake IDs, disposable phones, prepaid credit cards, and foreign bank accounts."

"You can't track his accounts overseas?" JJ wonders.

"We can but it takes months to get the records, and it only takes him seconds to transfer money again and again. By the time we figure out it's in the Bahamas, he's already moved it to Switzerland or somewhere else. I've always been too far behind him."

"Well, we're a lot closer now because of Carla. What made her suspicious in the first place?" Emily asks.

"She needed to get her father into a retirement home. When she called this guy, Grant Dale, to free up her money, he never returned her phone calls."

"This doesn't make any sense. A con man's first instinct is flight, not fight. What makes him kill, though, isn't financial, it's psychological."

"That's what we need to concentrate on. Why Carla and why now? Morgan, Prentiss, and Y/N go to her house. Agent Goldman, why don't you join them?" Hotch asks.

He asked to be polite, not because he wanted his opinion. Still, Russell answers.

"I sent his case files to the field office. Shouldn't I stay with you and help you sift through them?"

"I'd like to go through them independently and come up with our own theories. Maybe we can see if any behavioral patterns emerge that'll help us get ahead of him."

Since you have some time left before you land, you take out your notebook that's meant for your IRT. There is no shortage of nightmares when it comes to you. The one where you get raped. The one where you give birth. The one where you're bullied in school because of your gift. The one where Tobias kidnaps Spencer. The one where Spencer gets anthrax poisoning.

You'll start off with an easy one and rewrite the ones where you got bullied for your gift. It seems like a safe one to start with.

"What are you doing?" JJ asks.

"My therapist thinks it's best if I try IRT or whatever."

"What's that?"

"Imagery Rehearsal Therapy," Spencer answers for you.

"Yeah. Basically, I have to rewrite my nightmares to have good endings, think long and hard about them, and then try to make myself dream about them. I've done it before but never to this extent. As you might tell, it's not going too well."

"You're doing a great job," Spencer says.

"Thanks, baby."

He leans over and kisses your head. He's your biggest supporter in all this.

Carla's death was personal and out of love, not rage. Due to the unsub being a con mean with different aliases and disguises, you can't get a clear picture of what he looks like, so you'll have to settle for the black shape with one or two features. All you know is that he has dark hair and light skin. Everything else is a guessing game until you have more information from him.

The unsub slams Carla into the wall with his hands around her throat. She claws at him to get his DNA under her nails but to no avail. He doesn't let go until she is dead.

"She was a real estate agent," Russell says. "She was doing well for herself until William came into her life."

"Why do you call him that?"

"He introduced himself as Bill, Billy, or Will several times in his early cons. My guess is that his real name may be some form of William."

"Most of his victims were very wealthy, right?" Russell nods. "I'm looking around this house and it's nice, but it's no mansion."

"She didn't invest as much as his other clients either. I wonder why he targeted her."

"She may have been useful to him in some other way," Emily shrugs.

"Goldman," Derek interrupts, "what was the alias he was using with Carla?"

"Grant Dale."

"Come check this out." You follow them into the back bedroom where a personal laptop is. "He set up a website."

On the screen is a website for Grant Dale Investments that shows a bunch of bullshit about investments along with some numbers to make it look official. All of this but there are no pictures of him anywhere.

"Why didn't the detectives find this before?" Russell asks.

"The locals wouldn't know to look for it. It's only one page of generic investment information. I mean, there's no contact information and no pictures of himself. Just photos of nice cars and houses. He's selling the fantasy of success. His web design is pretty basic. I mean, it's like a standard template. It would be fairly easy to set up."

"Maybe he created others," Emily says.

"I'll call Garcia." Derek takes out his phone and puts Penelope on speakerphone when she answers. "Hey, baby girl, it's me. You're on speaker."

"Oh, sug, I don't care who hears it. It's always been you."

"Listen," Derek smiles, "I just emailed you a link. It's the unsub's website."

"Do you want me to find out how he paid for his hosting services and track him down that way?"

"We'll run into the same backstopping trail," Russell says.

"Oh, you are right. That's untraceable," she says after a pause.

"Forget that, then. Can you do a search for websites containing the same content?"

"Give me a second." She types really fast to pull up the information as soon as possible. "There are nine identical websites with the same written content and pictures, just different names."

"These are all new aliases," Russell says when he looks at the different websites. "He's never had ten at once. This is all new."

The CIA assigns an agent two or three aliases at most. Any more than that, and it's difficult to keep the names straight. The fact that this unsub is juggling ten means he either has so much control that he can remember all of his names or he's spiraling and panicking. Being all these people will definitely start messing with his head if it hasn't already.

You have his aliases, now all you need is his client list if you're going to prevent another death from happening. JJ got ahold of Carla's phone records where she made several calls to an unknown number the night she died. She tracked the number to a disposable phone that hadn't been used since.

Assuming that's the unsub's phone, he discarded it right after he killed Carla. In the months leading up to her death, she called that number routinely really late at night, like bedtime late. No one does business with their investment manager at bedtime. She was fucking him. Suddenly, this is all starting to make sense to you.

"So, Carla never mentioned anything about an affair with him?" Emily asks once everyone is at the police station to discuss.

"No, but it's always been a challenge with fraud victims to be totally forthcoming. They're so embarrassed about being duped so they don't tell you everything," Russell shrugs.

"Detective Goldman, we'd like to compare notes. I'm looking at the victimology," Rossi says. "Our files point to specific victims he targeted in the first few cities. Does this look accurate to you?"

"Yes, it does."

"Once he got beyond San Diego, his victims were all over the place. There weren't any shared interests anymore. He found victims somewhere else."

"I came to the same conclusion. Where, I don't know."

"That's where we start," Hotch says.

If this unsub is going at the rate he is, he already has another victim lined up. He might even be with her right now using another fake name that doesn't represent his own at all. Just like you feared before, his newest victim shows up quicker than you thought it would. However, this victim is male. This is a crime of rage, not out of passion.

You walk onto the boat, look to the left, and see the unsub sitting down next to the victim, Nik. Nothing seems wrong, at first, but the more they talk, the more the unsub's lies start to unravel. He must have said something to tip Nik off, panicked, and killed him to protect his lies. That's what it looks like you, at least.

"The unsub and Nik are having drinks. Nik has his checkbook open and a pen out like he's going to give him some money. The unsub says something that Nik doesn't like and he kills him before he can hand over the money. If I had to guess, he slipped up and got his names confused," you say.

"This is overkill. He bashed his head in. He's completely unhinged and devolving fast."

"He doesn't know that. He's still trying to go to work and he doesn't know he's in danger of losing it at any minute like a functioning alcoholic. The unsub channels all of his energy into these cons and when the con falls apart, this is how he handles it."

You leave them to join JJ and Russell's side who are talking to Nik's wife. The unsub has used the name Randy in this particular con so that's what you're going to call him right now until you know his real name.

"How long have you known Randy?" Russell asks.

"We spent a lot of time with him in the last couple of months. He was helping us invest," she answers the question without actually answering it.

"How much money did you give to him?"

"He just kept saying we needed to be aggressive in this market. Oh, my god, This is all my fault," she whimpers.

"What do you mean?"

"When I met Randy, I brought him into our lives."

"Mrs. Mickelson, is there anything more to your relationship with Randy? We're gonna find out eventually," you put bluntly.

"Find out what?"

"Did you sleep with him?" She doesn't answer that. "Look, Randy isn't who he said he is. Randy isn't even his real name. We think this man is using his looks and his charm to target women."

"So, there are others?" When she realizes this, her eyes go wide. "I laid in bed in bed next to the man who killed my husband."

You walk away from her knowing your answer.

"Did they sleep together?" Rossi asks.

"Yeah. She's pretty torn up about it."

Just like with Carla, he burned another alias. If this guy is on a mission to eliminate all of his aliases, he's going to assassinate his victims. Carla lived in Miami, Florida. Nik lived in northern Fort Lauderdale. His victims could be anywhere in South Florida by now. It makes sense that he could be expanding his operating zone due to the economy.

However, there is something about San Diego that you noticed when looking over the files. He only stays in each city for an average of fourteen to eighteen months. When he's in San Diego, he's there for three and a half years. After that, he's never been in the same city for that long again. There is something in San Diego that made him want to stay. A woman? A child?

Spencer is looking into it while you gear up to give the profile to Russell's men and women.

x

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[sparkytheandroid]

one time while playing grand theft auto online a hacker joined the public server i was playing on and started throwing mountains of cash everywhere and i made like 5 million dollars and bought a dirt bike and an f16 fighter jet and for the last ten years ive basically been waiting for that to happen in real life so i dont have to go to work