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#joon fanfic
jjungkookislife · 12 days
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Call Out My Name
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pairing: hero!joon x villain!reader
genre: angst, hero au, 18+
summary: Local hero, RM, calls out your name, not your alias.
wc: 1k
warnings: crimes (mostly theft), fighting, violence, reader has fireballs that shoot from her hands, mention of death
date: September 12, 2024
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Three years you’d been fighting the irksome RM, in his black hero costume that showed off his amazing pecs.
Three long years of fighting over your crimes, your desire for more, your desire to win.
Time after time RM had come to stop you. It seemed he’d find you at the drop of a dime, always there even before the cops were called or the alarms blared in annoyance to ruin your scheme.
You paid it no mind. Your eyes were set on sparkling jewels, loaded bank vaults, and the jets of the rich and famous. Stacks and stacks of cash fill one of your homes by the sea, a secret destination only you knew about. 
RM arrives at the rooftop as the blades from your acquired helicopter make it hard to hear anything except the blaring of the alarms from the bank store ten floors below. You’re so close to your escape, your sidekick sitting in the helicopter waiting for you before he takes off. Time is ticking, he won’t wait forever.
You toss the money bags toward him, ignoring RM’s shouts for you to cease. 
“That doesn’t belong to you!” He shouts and you barely make out the words over the helicopter blades. 
“Everything can belong to me if I take it, sweetheart,” you grin as you prepare to step into the helicopter to your escape.
RM throws his rope with the grappling hook at the end and catches your villain suit, tugging you toward him. 
What a fool.
You knew better than to turn your back on an enemy.
What a rookie mistake.
Your body soars through the air but you spin and catch yourself on your fingertips, much like a cat landing on its feet. You’re agile, able to slink unnoticed most of the time but RM is always at the right place at the wrong time. 
Something about him has always struck a chord inside you. That’s possibly why you did your best not to harm him too roughly. He had a strong physique but his heart seemed tender, especially when it came to you. He always softened his punches when it came to a fistfight. 
“You always have to ruin my plans, RM! This is the last time you do,” you announce as you rip the hook and toss it over the edge of the building. Your heels click as they cross the distance between you, your eyes locked on his. 
RM huffs, his arm blocking the punch you try to land. You curse, immediately going for another punch before the two of you fight and land blows against his concrete chest. 
“Is that the best you’ve got?” RM goads as he dodges a punch and then a kick to the shin. You growl, ducking and diving to avoid his hits. 
You flip back twice and then forward once. You need to distract him long enough to get into the air. 
RM approached you but you flipped forward as he took steps backward to avoid your kicks and the fireballs aimed at him. 
He teeters on the edge of the building, losing his balance and falling off the roof. 
You watch in horror, frozen in your spot. You never meant to kill him. 
Your name fills the air in a terrified shout. Not your villain alias, your real name. Your heart thunders in your ears as your name is called out once more. 
You approach the edge of the building. RM grips the edge, his body dangling as he looks up at you with a pleading look. His grip loosens, he looks down, his fingers slipping off the edge as he meets your gaze one last time. 
His hand lets go.
You catch him by the hand before he can plummet.
“You know my name,” You state as you pull him over the edge and onto the roof. The helicopter blades grow louder as your sidekick takes off leaving you behind, but you don’t give a damn as you stare at those deep brown eyes that make your heart flip.
“I’ve always known your name,” Namjoon responds as he removes his mask. “How could I not?”
Your childhood friend stands before you, his dark hair falling over his eyes. Those familiar dragon eyes that make your heart skip a beat.
“You knew,” you whisper as you fall to your knees. Your hands tremble as you place them on your lap. Your crimes had almost led to your best friend's death. 
Namjoon watches you intently, approaching you. He throws his mask as far away as possible. You can’t face him. You won’t.
You rise to your feet, running away from him.
Namjoon calls out your name, but you don’t stop running. You jump from one building to the next with him hot on your tail.
“Please,” he grips your arms when he finally catches you. “Don’t run from me.”
“You could have died!” you screech, tears rolling down your cheeks. “You almost died! I almost lost you, Joon!”
“But you didn’t! Okay?! You didn’t. I’m right here,” Namjoon holds you tighter, pulling you into his broad chest as you sob. Your arms wrap around him as he rubs your back. “I’m right here.”
“I’m sorry,” you cry. “I’m so, sorry.”
“Shh,” Namjoon hushes you as he holds you. 
“How long did you know?” you ask in between hiccups as you wipe your eyes.
“Since you first ran out of the house with your mask in your hand. You stole that black diamond from the museum downtown.” Namjoon shakes his head.
“Why didn’t you stop me?”
“Because I love you,” Namjoon answers honestly. “I’ve always loved you.”
You’re left speechless.
Namjoon doesn’t expect an answer from you as he takes a step back. 
“You can’t have your life of crime and me. It’s one or the other,” Namjoon states firmly as he heads to the edge of the building.
“Namjoon!” you shout, chasing after him.
Namjoon smiles, “Just call out my name when you’ve decided.”
“Don’t go!” You yell, new tears pooling in your eyes.
He doesn’t stop, instead he throws himself over the building. You scream his name as you race to the edge, your heart dropping to your feet before you see Namjoon land on his feet and take off down the road.
“Namjoon,” you whisper. “I choose you. I’ll always choose you.”
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80 notes · View notes
muniimyg · 1 year
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NAKED // KNJ
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note to self: take baths alone from now on
+
in which nam joon takes any and every opportunity to see you naked
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pairing: boyfriend nam joon + oc 
au/genre:
(new) established relationship
non-idol au
fluff, crack, and smut
warnings:
explicit langauge and behaviour ...
cockwarming & riding,, some titty grabbing & basic ass position changes
THEY SAY ILY FOR THE FIRST TIME :D
note: originally posted on @/meowachi ,, revised !!
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns
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The water is colder than you expected. 
Your body reacts with goosebumps to which you let out a shiver. Maybe you took too much time getting everything ready that you missed this bath water’s prime temperature… Guess you didn’t girl-math this right. 
Oh well. 
There’s always next time, right?
Thankfully, his bare body holding yours makes it easier to adjust. He nuzzles his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist, not missing the chance to hold your breasts for a moment. You scold him as if it’s second nature and he leaves a trail of kisses up and down your neck as an apology. 
Then, you take this moment in. Honestly, setting up music was a good idea. Along with the scented candles, the bubbles in your bath, the bath lavender bath bomb, and the bath salts—all such amazing details. Everything would’ve been perfect if only Nam Joon wasn’t complaining every five seconds. 
“I hate baths.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
“The bath salts went up my ass—”
Finally, you shush him.
“Please,” he cries, “can we fuck?”
Rolling your eyes, you raise your hand and flick him with your fingers. He purses his lips and shuts his eyes in response. Nam Joon sighs, feeling defeated for the nth time tonight. Prior to this bath, he had suggested shower sex. To which, you argued you’d be too afraid to try since you’re as clumsy as they come… And he himself… Well, it was nice of him to ask.
It’s not like you didn’t want to have sex tonight… No, of course, you do. Your handsome and beefy boyfriend was naked, holding you.. Who wouldn’t be turned on? You just feel like being annoying. You want to push him as far as you can. You want to see how good he stays. How well self-disciplined he is. 
So, you sink into his body again, taking another deep breath in. 
Let’s try this again.
Relax.
You want to relax. 
That’s all you want to do.
It doesn’t last. A few giggles escape your lips as he begins to place small kisses on your shoulder all the way to the sides of your face. 
“Nam Joon…” you attempt to sound annoyed.
In his low voice, he hums; “Yes, my love?”
“You’re not making me feel relaxed!” Suddenly, you squirm as he bites your shoulder playfully. “I want to—stop that! I just want to relax, Joonie! You said you wanted to join me. You insisted.”
“Sorry, sorry,” he murmurs, only half meaning his apology. No, he wasn’t sorry. He was a man, after all. What idiot would turn down being naked in a tub of water with you? Fucking losers, that’s who. 
He squishes your body closer to him. “So... is this what you do?” 
You nod.
“Is this all that you do? This is so boring. You don’t even have those ducks to play with or like a toy boat that moves—”
“Nam Joon,” you warn, groaning at how talkative he’s becoming. “You can leave. I wouldn’t mind watching you ass walk away right now.” 
He laughs in response, getting the hint. You want to relax. He wants to be with you. This was the middle ground.
“Sorry,” he means it this time. “I’m just bored.. Like, I pictured this to be more… Sexy? Aren’t you supposed to seduce me?” Nam Joon wiggles his eyebrows at you. To that, you offer him and confused look.
“Who knows? Maybe I’ve been seducing you this entire time..” you gaslight.
He lowers his gaze. “You’ve been ignoring me since the minute we settled in the tub.”
“Aren’t you turned on?”
“No.”
You smile at him warmly, yet your tone is cold. “My love, if that’s the case… Then why do I feel your dick poking in between my legs right now?” 
He gulps.
“It’s hard.”
“I thought you said it’s boring.”
Nam Joon whines, “___, my dick is hard. I’m bored. Please sit on it.”
You gasp. 
Although, you can’t say you aren’t surprised. You’ve been together for less than a year yet he has never missed a chance to suggest such acts. Most days, you’d give in and it would be a good time. But today… You figure it would be much more fun to be a tease. This mood is sponsored by your incoming period. Regardless if it’s PMS or all your stress from work; it didn’t really matter. You just knew you weren't in the mood for super wet, slippery, hot sex in cold bath water. Imagine all the water that would be splashed on the floor! You’d be the one left to clean all of it up. Nam Joon would probably slip and hurt himself if you ordered him to do the cleaning duties.
“Okay,” you tease. “I’ll sit on your dick.”
He cheers. 
“But I won’t move.”
“W-what?” Nam Joon blinks. 
You shrug, pushing yourself up on his lap. When you find his length, you quickly guide it inside of you. No warning, not even a little rub in between. Nam Joon gulps the second he feels his cock inside of you. Unlike the water, you’re so warm. He hisses, feeling his dick begin to throb inside your tight walls. 
“M-mean,” he hisses. “You’re so mean.”
Ignoring him, you sink yourself even deeper. Now, he’s fully inside you and you’re completely sitting on him. You feel his tip and how far he is inside you.. It makes your body feel tingles and you honestly contemplate if you should just give in.
He feels so good. 
… And you hate to admit it but you overestimated yourself.
You’re having a hard time too. 
Yet, you stick it through. You have to! Rare are the moments you get where Nam Joon loses complete control.
“You asked me to sit on your dick. Sure, I’ll sit on your dick… But I’m not moving. I’m not going reverse cowgirl style. I’m not going doggy. I’m not fucking you.”
“So you’re just going to cockwarm me?” he asks, feeling betrayed. “But you love riding me!”
You glare at him. “No, I don’t. It’s tiring. It’s boring.” 
Nam Joon’s eyebrows furrow together. He tries his best to focus on your words and not how perfect you are inside of him. He’s stressed as fuck but he needs to prove to you that he can get through this… He has a feeling that winning you over will get him the reward he’s been after. 
“Then why do you do it?” 
This is news to him too. You always looked like you enjoyed riding him. Honestly, you probably ride him more than you two do in any other position. Also, why would he question it? You never really complained until now. It’s one of the things he liked so much about you.. It’s like, you just knew him. 
“You love it and I love you—”
Your eyes widen.
Did you really just say that? All this time, you were worried about slipping… Who knew it wasn’t about your body but rather your words? 
You two haven’t said it to each other yet. God, this is so fucking embarrassing. In this position too? In a fucking cold ass bath? It should’ve been more romantic! Plus, he should’ve said it first! You had it all planned out.. You were going to get it out of him before you could say it first. 
As you open your mouth to deny, take back, or spit out an excuse, his words make your world stop. 
“I love you too.”
Your breath hitches. “W-what?”
“Yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck. “I’ve been meaning to tell you.. For the past like… Six months but I couldn’t find the right moment. I figured one day, you’d just get it out of me yourself.” Nam Joon looks awfully shy to you right now. It makes your heart flutter. 
“I thought the same,” you confess. “I wanted you to say it first.”
“Okay,” Nam Joon chuckles, “Then I said it first.”
Your heart begins to pound louder and faster. God, was he always this good with words? In all honesty, Nam Joon has no problem being the first to yield or confess.. He just needed time. Right now, he knew it well. You’re the right person at the right time. He’s so grateful.
“I wanted it to be more romantic.”
Instantly, he dips his head and kisses you slowly. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours. “A slow kiss. Romantic, right? Better?”
You shake your head. 
“You have to hold my hand when you say it,” you whine. “It only makes sense that way.”
“Then, you have to look at me,” he negotiates. “You can’t be looking the other way when I say it.”
“Fine.”
You shift, pulling his dick out for a second. You adjust yourself, opening your legs and facing him. Now, your breasts were completely in front of him. He takes slow deep breaths as you put him inside you again. You wrap your arms around his neck and tilt your head. 
God, you’re so sexy.
With or without clothes, Nam Joon thinks you’re the sexiest human to ever exist. It wasn’t because your body was perfect; it was all because of the way you carried your confidence. It was that exact something he sensed and fell into an intense trance over. Moments like these play over and over in his head when he’s away from you. Moments where he feels so close to you. Physically, this was it. There is nothing more he could ask for. 
You: naked and on top of him. 
But more than that, what makes moments like these so special is the fact that he feels like he knows your soul. Bare, imperfect and so loving. It was sexy to have someone like you. It was something he had never experienced before with past loves. This was a first for him. A first real, sexy, and beautiful love. It was more than your body—it always has been. Regardless, who is he to not try? At the end of the day, he has needs. 
“Say it.” 
He laughs as he intertwines your fingers together. He raises them above the water to show you. Bringing your hands to his lips, he looks up at you and kisses your knuckles. 
“I love you, ___.”
You pout. 
He kisses your wrist and then pulls you closer to him. He kisses your breast, your collarbone, your shoulder, your cheeks, and the corner of your lip. “I’ve loved you for a while now. I’m sorry it took a cold bath to get it out of me.”
“Should’ve taken a bath together sooner.”
He laughs into your kiss. “Too bad the bath salts aren’t making me feel too sexy right now,” he confesses his uncomfortability. This is his last attempt. “Unless…”
“Spit it out,” you say, unamused.
“It’s just—”
“We’re not fucking in this bath of cold water, Joon. Give it up!” you laugh as you cup his cheeks together. You squish his lips with your thumb and index, making kissy faces at him. “No more fucking around.”
His suggestive eyes suddenly soften. “Fucking? ___, I wanted to make love… Since, you know.. I love you.”
Three times.
He said, “I love you,” three times now.
And perhaps, you’re not built for this hard-to-get lifestyle when the love of your life says such dreamy things. Of course, you’d give in. As they all say; the third time’s a charm. 
You burst into laughter, unable to hold yourself back. Desperately, you kiss him for what feels like forever, and as much as you resist; you end up riding him. 
The second you move yourself up and down, Nam Joon’s eyes widen and he smiles into the kiss. He can’t believe he won you over. 
“Fucking finally… Or should I say… Finally fucking?” Nam Joon chides, liking his word play more than he should.
Nerd alert.
You grunt, “s-shut up.” 
As you two continue to make out, you begin to move your hips as you slowly but surely begin to bounce on his hard cock. It feels so good to finally do this. As you move at a faster pace, the water begins to splash and for a second, you turn your head to make sure it isn’t going to flood the floor. But Nam Joon places his hand on your chin and the top of your neck, guiding you to look at him. 
“Don’t look away,” he hisses. “It’s just water. Focus on me.”
You nod, biting the inside of your cheeks. 
For stability, you place your hands on his chest. You feel his heart and how fast it’s racing. His skin has little goosebumps due to the cold water, but you can also see sweat from his forehead lightly layer on top of his perfect skin. His eyebrows are knitted together, as he gathers all his mental strength not to cum yet. At one point, you see his lips make an ‘o’. Why was he trying so hard to last? 
“Just cum,” you assure him. “It’s fine.”
He shakes his head, refusing to give in this early. “It’s your fucking boobs,” Nam Joon blames. “Mmhff—s-shit. What the hell. Fuck it.” 
Without warning, he places his hands on your waist and lifts you up. Nam Joon gently, yet firmly, turns you over. Your chin rests just over the rim of the tub, along with your arms. Your back is arched as he backs your ass up to his dick. He takes his fingers and plays with your clit for a bit. You moan, unable to fathom just how fucking sexy this all is. You feel yourself coming close. Before you know it, he sticks himself back in and begins to pump. Nam Joon pumps himself at a steady pace. At first, they were short and fast strokes that made the water spill over and you moan louder than usual. As you reach your peak and so does he; his strokes transition to long and deep ones. 
After a few more pumps, he lets himself go and cups your breasts with his hands. You don’t feel his cum inside of you as your walls still tingle, but you know it’s inside. Regardless of the water, you just know he creamed you messy as usual. 
As you two catch your breath, he kisses your neck once again. 
“For round two…” Nam Joon teases, “I’m thinking shower sex. Thoughts?”
“Haha,” you play along. “No.”
Nam Joon pouts, giving you puppy eyes. “... But I love you.” 
You can’t help but melt.
Oh, you’re so fucked.
You know for a fact he’ll be using this line for a while… And it’ll work. He’ll get you every time. But it’s okay! You love him too. You want him too. You need him too.
Besides, you’ll be charging him the water bill.
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julysrainn · 4 months
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"Call me a good boy."
Said Jake kim, putting your hand on his hair.
His hair is majestic, he had recently got it cut. You styled it for him. Its silky smooth and soft!
Nothing's hotter than a man who takes care of himself, you think to yourself.
His head is on your thighs, you can feel his breathing on your thighs.
You play with his hair, for a long time chatting with him.
There's a loud sound of thunder, and the lights go out.
"Its okay, I'm here. Dont you get scared now." The tall and dark figure with the sexiest voice, gets up from your thighs.
He pulls you into a hug, he's taller than you. Your head thuds, with his soft chest. You've always been scared of the dark since childhood.
It starts raining, the only light is coming from the cackling fireplace beside your bed. There are two mugs of hot chocolate on the table.
You hear his heartbeat going crazy. Even after all these years...
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min-hoax · 1 year
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dirty little secrets - knj
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Summary: Namjoon was a hopeless romantic. He thought that was his destiny, and for you? That was simply your doom.
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Pairing: Yandere! Namjoon x F! Reader
Word Count: 8.25K
Warning(s): Obsession, stalking, he’s so delusional 😍, the reader is a messy bitch BUT I love her, infidelity, underage drinking, mentions of drugZ (characters are over 18!), mentions of suicide, manslaughter, mentions of blood and a dead body, mentions of attempted SA, MDNI 18+ SMUT SMUT SMUT, cunnilingus, fingering, loss of virginity, sliiiiiiiight breeding kink (it’s me, yall should’ve known😭)
A/N: I know I said I’d be gone, but I got so inspired!! This fic is written in Namjoon’s POV! Enjoy being in our lovely yanderes’ mind. 😈 UNEDITED!!!
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I dreamt of you before I met you.
In my romanticizing mind where I’d day dream about our life and what could be. You, wrapped around my arms as you slept. Us, on a trip that you desired to go to ever since you were a child.
It was moments like those that made me wait for you, and only for you because the moment I set my eyes on you, I was a goner.
I smiled at you from across the room when we locked eyes, the blaring music thundering inside my chest as you sat on a table, your legs swinging up and down. You nodded when your friend voiced something loudly, agreeing to whatever it was, but yet your eyes remained on mine.
I caught your eyes just like you caught mine.
But my admiration did not last long for a boy slithered his way into your embrace, a red cup of liquor in his hand that he passed to you while pecking your lips. I should have known a beautiful angel like you was bound to be in the arms of a lover, but how come I felt a little pang on my chest the second your lips locked with his?
I knew we were meant to be because how did the universe connect us both so effortlessly? It wanted us together and I knew that the second I saw you again. I set my eyes on you that same night, this time not at a house party, but at your own home.
Our home.
The move frightened me and caused my calamitous mind to drown in nightmares of what could be’s, but once I set foot in the town that I now called my home, I knew everything was going to be fine. Everyone was kind and welcoming and I didn’t even spend a sweat in finding a home once I packed my childhood home up and made my way north.
The memories of my mother were too haunting and I simply could not bear it. I had enough money from the life insurance company I acquired after her passing and made the decision so quickly after.
I found the ad one Saturday afternoon: Room For Rent! $525 A Month. ALL Amenities Included. I talked to a woman on the phone (now I know it was your mother) when I reached out, allowing her to know I was interested in the offer. She was kind and after a longing while of questions, she accepted and I made my way to you. I just didn’t know it then.
Your scream from fright made me jump, the cup of water in my hands slightly dripping droplets on the wooden ground. “What the fuck?” You muttered, taking a step back. Your eyes were messy with makeup, the night no doubt taking a toll on your sleep, after all it was three in the morning when you walked inside. “Who the hell are you?”
I meant to speak, but the creek of your mothers’ door opening upstairs kept me from opening my mouth, and seeing you standing before me did not help either. Your mother made her way to us, wrapping her pink fleecy robe around her waist. Your scream no doubt roused her from sleep.
“What’s going on - oh.” She looked at us. Did she not tell you about me? Perhaps not, it was obvious. But I was slightly afraid that I’d be scolded by your mother. I was free to roam the inside of your home to make my meals and shower and get a cup of water in the middle of the night, but yet you were her daughter and mothers were always fiercely protective. I knew.
“Sweetheart.” She started and smiled. “This is Namjoon. I guess I didn’t tell you he’d be renting the room at back.”
“Uh, since when?”
“Since… two nights ago?” She looked at me, trying to remember. I nodded. “Yes, since Thursday. I’m Kim Namjoon, it’s nice to meet you.”
I didn’t know I was desperate to feel your touch, but as soon as your hands fit in mind when you shook it and introduced yourself with a tired smile on your face, I shuddered.
“Well I'm glad you weren’t an intruder.” Your hand slipped from mind as you made your way into the kitchen, fetching a glass and filling it with water whilst speaking. “Just, mom, please give me a heads up next time.”
Next time? I wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon. I knew there were others before me, the wall by my bed was vandalized with small figures and initials that read KTH, and I always wondered who resided in the room I now slept in.
You looked like an angel when you took a step towards the stairs, turning your head to smile at me one last time. The light on the ceiling gifted you with a glow that made me smile like an idiot. “Goodnight.”
Oh, I was a goner.
I couldn’t help it. I was never a violent person and I even surprised myself when I thought of punching your boy in his perfect face. I knew for a fact that though I was taller and was at an advantage, I could not win in a fight because I had never been in one. I was never the confrontational type.
He was the epitome of perfection. Round, but define cheeks, plump pink lips that made my jaw clench when yours connected with his, and blonde hair that fit him perfectly. He was everything that I wasn’t and that made me want to shrivel up inside and scream with rage until my throat was sore and my voice was nonexistent.
But I could only dream.
“Namjoon, please, help yourself.” Your mothers voice called for me, taking me out of my thoughts and onto the situation that I did not want to deal with. You and Park Jimin.
He sat before me, a plate of breakfast on the diner table and an arm wrapped around the back of you as you nursed a cup of coffee.
There was something with you and coffee. I always noticed you would make yourself a cup, take a few sips, but you never finished it. Always throwing it out the drain before you made your way to school. I always wondered. Until I didn’t.
I wasn’t in school, not yet anyway. After I graduated a few years back my mother tried her best to steer me towards it, but I wasn’t interested, even after the various scholarships I was offered. I knew I could still, for I was smart and capable. There was a part of me that did want to, just to simply join you at the community college you and Jimin went to, but I refrained.
I wasn’t a stalker.
“So Namjoon, how are you liking it here?” Jimin suddenly spoke with a bright smile on his cheeks. It wasn’t that it took me by surprise, Jimin had never spoken to me directly, but I didn’t want him to talk to me. To me, the younger boy was obnoxiously loud and a nuisance.
I breathed as I pushed the want of rolling my eyes. But instead, I took a finger on the bridge of my glasses and pushed them up. I smiled.
“It’s great.” I replied, nodding. “Everyone is kind and the setting is absolutely beautiful. The forestation that surrounds us is amazing.” I couldn’t help but to look at you as I voiced my opinion. I wasn’t lying, you were absolutely beautiful. Absolutely perfect.
Jimin raised a brow and chuckled. “Well, I’m glad. I’ve never really noticed what surrounds us, but I agree.” And with a sip of his apple juice, the conversation between us ended.
I was glad.
But where a conversation dies, another one starts. Your mother was a very talkative person. I had only been with you all for about two weeks in a half, but I felt like I knew her for years. She talked about herself a. lot, and I only wished that she did of you, but I figured she was just lonely after her husband’s passing.
She talked about him all the time and I noticed that she refrained from speaking about him when you were around. From what she spoke of your father, he seemed like a good man. It was only after you left one day to go to school, she finally confessed. She cornered me in the laundry room when I went to gather my clothes and started speaking of everything and anything, until she came about your father.
“My love struggled a lot when he was on earth side. He was fine for a while, but it got too much for him and one day he decided to leave us. My sweet girl found him.”
After that, I finally understood. Why she never spoke of him when you were present and why you made yourself a cup of coffee, but never drank it. The cup was your fathers, engraved with his initials on the side.
I felt my heart break for you and all I could say was that I was sorry. You didn’t deserve to live with the trauma inside of your wonderful mind and inside your perfect heart. In a way I understood you. My mother had gotten sick, until one day the sickness enveloped her whole until she was left with nothing and I was left with a hole inside my chest. There was nothing else to do for her.
My heart jumped as you stood because it mean you’d leave. I could only look at you as you made your way to the sink (as expected) took a farewell sip of the coffee before dumping it in.
“Have a good day.” I said with a wide smile as you retrieved your backpack and the baby blue cup you seemed to take with you everywhere. At least you stayed hydrated. I knew because you had to go to the restroom often.
You returned it, that beautiful smile that made me want to kneel at your feet and beg you to smile for all of eternity. “Thank you, Namjoon.” And you walked, “Bye mom, love you.”
My smile died as Jimin wrapped his arm around your neck, kissing your cheek. And you smiled. I only looked away, watching you unlock your vehicle and getting inside of it.
This jealousy only seemed to grow. I couldn’t help it. I wished you weren’t someone else’s. I wish that my miserable self had gotten here just a little bit earlier, maybe then you’d have been mine.
But would you have liked me?
I never considered myself someone who others would accept romantically. Growing up, I was a lame excuse of a human being, always too shy, always too quiet and afraid to speak my mind. As I grew older, I got better at communicating with the people around me, but I still stuttered when I spoke, and still struggled to continue a conversation.
It was a blessing and a curse because nobody spoke to me, just as I wanted it to be.
As I wrote, I simply couldn’t focus. All I thought of was you, every day and every second that passed by. No one had ever captivated my mind the way you did. I waited for you in my home right outside in the backyard. There was a small window by the door - the only way to get inside and out. It faced yours and I would always see you once you arrived and came home from school.
We had a routine. You’d see me through the curtains, and we’d smile at each other as I worked and I couldn’t wait until dinner arrived because I’d be in your presence and you’d be in mine.
There was something in your eyes that made me believe that you… wanted me. Was I delusional? I’d see it every single time you’d pull your chair out for dinner. You’d give me a smirk as you made your way next to me and I would only give a small hello and thank your mother for the delicious food that she had prepared. But through it, you’d look at me through the corner of your eye and I would only pretend I didn’t see.
You had Jimin. You weren’t like that. That’s what I truly believed until you came stumbling into my room, drunk in the middle of the night and immediately grabbing onto my shirt and connecting your lips with mine.
My heart had never pounded so fast. It took me by surprise which is why I took a hold of your shoulders and gently took a step back. “What are you doing?” Your eyes were bloodshot, like you’d been crying and I cupped your warm cheeks into my hands and took a glance at your cherry-burgundy lips.
“Do you not want me?” The tone in how you voiced the question made my heart ache; begging and fretful. How could you say such a thing? I have always wanted you, but not like this.
“Come. Sit.” I grabbed your wrist and I sat you on the edge of my bed. “What’s going on? What happened?” I towered over you as you sniffled and looked at me with tearful eyes.
“Jimin, -“
Of course.
“ - he doesn’t want to have sex with me.” You said it so meekly that I almost didn’t hear you. “He - he keeps making excuses about how he wants to wait till marriage, but I mean that is such bullshit! It’s outdated and stupid. Who at this date and age does not want to have sex? He’s not even religious!” As much as it pained me to see the tears falling from your eyes so delicately, I couldn’t help but to feel a sense of victory through your defeat.
Did this mean your relationship with Jimin was coming to an end? It had to, right? You seemed happy at his side, but now, as I saw the proof in front of me, it was all a faux.
But there was also a part of me that felt angry. Was I just your second choice? Would you have come for me and begged for me to bed you if you had other men wrapped around your finger?
“Well, -“ I started slowly, taking a seat to the right of you. “ - sometimes people like to wait, you know, just to be sure that the person they're giving themselves up for is… worth it.”
You sniffled again, wiping at your face. “You - you think he thinks I’m not worth it? We’ve been together for almost two years.”
Remind me, why don’t you.
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I wouldn’t be able to tell you myself, but a girl like you, you’re worth everything. To give up for, to kill for. Just say the words and you’ll have men at their knees. You decide.”
-
You were taunting me, it was so obvious. With those deliciously roguish eyes that eyed me with want and the skirts that barely covered your bottoms with the shirts that you paired that were the definition of skimpy, I knew what game you were playing.
It was when your arms would stray away from your lap and would just gently touch my arms at dinner, I knew that you wanted me the way I wanted you.
But it was wrong. Although I hated Jimin, I couldn’t help but to think that if I were in his position, your betrayal would wound me like no other. He seemed to love you, yet here you were, teasing me with your sensual eyes and your beautiful body that I absolutely wanted to ravish and worship.
But through the slight guilt I felt, there was a part of me that was… happy. Your mother was a nurse, working mostly every night at the local hospital which left me home, alone with you and with my tumultuous mind. You and Jimin were almost similar it seemed. You’d argue almost every night when he stayed to keep you company.
And though I couldn’t help but to feel jealous, a part of me was comfortable with him at your side because after that night that you came to me for comfort, the virgin wanted to wait until marriage.
My mother raised me right which is why I pushed myself away from listening to your heated match. But how could I? I had never met someone who could screech in anger the way you did to him.
He left soon thereafter, slamming the door with such force that it made my body jump from the sound. I fought with myself to go check on you, maybe you needed your space, but the thought of you crying was enough to do me in. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water, climbing the stairs and making my way to you.
The knock on the door was almost timid and quiet, but even when you didn’t answer, I gently opened it, and there you were, in a fetus position laying on your side, hugging a giant teddy bear to your chest.
“Hi.” You whispered looking up at me with those eyes that I loved so much. But they were swollen, and my immediate thought was to comfort you. I didn’t think when I sat at your side, brushing the strands of hair that were at the front of your face.
“Hey, there beautiful.”
You huffed, “I look far from beautiful right now.”
How could you ever think that? You were an angel fallen from heaven.
“Do you think he hates me? I said some pretty shitty things.”
I refrained from rolling my eyes, but for your sake I simply shook my head. “Of course not. I’m sure he understands that people say shitty things when they're angry. I mean, I’m sure he has said some things to you before, no?”
With a shake of your head you maneuvered your body, landing right on your back with the teddy bear on top.
“No, Jimin isn’t like that. He’s quiet in moments like these. I feel like that makes me angrier, you know? Like tell me something, tell me that I’m a bitch or that you hate me, but say something! Anything!”
I understand why he kept quiet. I would never say things of that magnitude to you. It was a disrespect that no one could come back from because you would never deserve it.
“So you like to be degraded?” I teased, raising a brow.
“What?” You chuckled. There it was. Just exactly what I wanted. “Of course not, Namjoon!” I smiled at the playful strike you landed on my thigh. “I’m just saying, I just feel like he doesn’t try to communicate.”
“Well… maybe you need to find someone else.” I couldn’t believe what I was doing. “Someone who could take your needs as theirs and actually knows how to communicate. My mother always said that communication was key in a relationship.”
“But I love him.” I swear, my chest felt like it was struck with something so tight that I couldn’t comprehend. How could you say something like that in my presence? Couldn’t you see how much I loved you?
And through my anger, I couldn’t help but to reply. “Sometimes, loving someone means you have to let them go. I know it’s hard, but I know you know Jimin isn’t good for you. All this arguing, this crying, it will only take a toll on you that you cannot take.”
Your fingertips on my thigh took me by surprise, stroking it with such sensuality as you looked up at me with those eyes that screamed for me to take you to bed. “And how would you know, hm? Have you ever had a girlfriend, Namjoon?”
My breath hitched as your fingers played with the waist of my pants, tugging them down just slightly. “N - no.”
It was a lie. But why bring past mistakes into my future? I hated lying to you, but a little white lie would never hurt.
“No?” You hummed, now on your knees as you came closer. I could feel your breathing and as my hands guided you into my lap, I couldn’t hold back anymore.
My lips connected with yours with such hunger, such intensity. How I longed to hold you close and have you by my side. Your body wrapped around mine felt so right, like a puzzle piece I knew I was missing. Couldn’t you see? We were perfect for each other.
With a small grunt, I laid you down on your bed without separating myself from you, desperately taking off your oversized shirt that you hid your alluring body from. And with hunger, I wrapped my lips around your beautiful breasts, pecking your sternum and making my way down to the waist of your pants. You complied, raising your hips and allowing me to remove the nuisance from your waist.
And what a sight. There wasn’t an inch of you that I couldn’t find a flaw. Stretch marks followed the side of your thighs, and along the middle of your tummy. I kissed them with reverence before my tongue dove inside the place I always wanted to be in.
You tasted absolutely divine. And I was hungry for more as I sucked on the little pearl between your legs, wrapping my hands around your thighs and hugging you closer.
“Namjoon.” You whimpered, and that made me want you even more.
The small little gasp you made made me smirk and I didn’t hold back from bringing you close to the orgasm that you were on the brink of, but I held back. I wanted to be inside of you as I came and held my hold inside of you. You looked up at me as I undressed, my sweatpants on the ground in an instant before I held you tight between my arms and entered the place I had dreamt of being.
Your brows furrowed from the uncomfortableness, it was to be expected as I was your first - the first man that had ever been inside of you. The thought almost brought me to the brink, but I wanted your first time to be loving and special.
And just as I expected, the feeling was euphoric and I couldn’t help but to moan and drop my head in the warmth of your neck. Your hands held my neck tight as you adjusted, soft little pants escaping your precious lips. “I know, sweetheart. I know.” I whispered, giving you soft little pecks on your lips and on your forehead as comfort.
“I - I think you can move.”
“Are you sure?” The furrow in between your brows was gone, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to hurt you, but when you nodded and gave me a smile, I pulled away from the warmth between your legs, and made my way in once again.
At that moment, my dreams were coming true. Jimin was nonexistent as I knew it was the same for you. You muttered my name and my name only as you held me with a vice grip and kissed me on the lips.
I had never been brought to such ecstasy the way I did with you. After you came for the first time before I brought you to more, I soon followed, gasping for breath from the feeling of you holding by cock with such a vice grip.
We took a breath for a second as we giggled like school children and kissed each other hard. But you were insatiable. You wanted for more even as your legs shook with exhaustion and you mounted me and rode me like I was the last man on earth.
But of course, you needed to sleep and your body knew it, and soon after we finished making love, your eyes drooped and you slept so soundly, close to my chest and my beating heart.
I couldn’t help but to stroke your belly. Maybe… my seed would take place inside of you and you’d be pregnant before we knew it. In my mind, I sickly hoped that you were. I knew that I was going out on a limb and that one couldn’t get pregnant with just one night, but I wanted you to be.
I always dreamt of a family. Was I so wrong to want something with the woman I loved?
But the righteous won. We were still young and… Jimin, Jimin was still in the picture. Goddamn Park Jimin. I hated him with everything I had, and I hated my mind even more for ruining the afterglow I was basking in.
With I sigh, I gently kissed the crown of your head, getting dressed with the thought of making my way to a pharmacy and getting you a contraceptive to prevent pregnancy. I knew it wasn’t right.
Your phone buzzed on your nightstand and with a glance, my stomach dropped as I read it.
JiHoon: Hey, baby. I loved that little present you gave me. See you soon?
I couldn’t help the tears from forming and with a slam to your door, I left your bedroom, no doubt rousing you from your sleep.
-
I couldn’t stop staring at you. The night you gifted me with stuck to my mind. You gave me something forbidden that I couldn’t come back from. After I left your bedroom, I made my way to the pharmacy, slightly smiling at the only cashier and took the bag with me. I left it on your nightstand, but I couldn’t bear to look as you slept.
You betrayed me.
You kept betraying me. The fight you had with Jimin seemed to be forgotten. You two lovebirds were inseparable the following day. Were you not guilty? Or did you just stick by his side because he was all you knew and you couldn’t let go?
I knew I could give you something better. Something that was worth your time and effort. I’ll take you out of this town that you lived in your whole life and perhaps we could live in the home I grew up in. It wasn’t much, but it would be enough for the both of us.
“Hey, Namjoon.” You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You awkwardly looked away and eyed Jimin. You couldn’t even look me in the eyes.
You both sat at the hanging bench that was at the front of your house, your arm wrapped around his. Jimin smiled at me, nodding at my precence, but I didn’t follow. I couldn’t help but to glare. But as soon as it formed, I hid it, immediately smiling bright, looking down at the both of you.
I was feeling messy.
“Did you take it?”
It was obvious I caught you off guard. You gulped, letting out a nervous chuckle. Jimin, of course had no idea about the contraceptive I had bought you, and I took pride and a bit of sick pleasure at your unprepared face
“Take what?” Jimin questioned with furrowed brows.
“Uh - just, I - I had a headache last night, and uh, Namjoon gave me pain killers. That’s it.”
You weren’t a great liar, but you were fast.
“Good.” I nodded, “You should just have a few on hand, you know, for when it happens again because headaches -“ I eyed Jimin, shaking my head, “they’re the worst.”
“Right. You know what, we were leaving. We have a movie to watch.” You stood quickly, taking a hold of your lover's hand and when you walked and I was at your back, I spoke once again.
“You don’t mind if I tag along?”
There was a pause as the birds chirped and Jimin turned. “Uh, yeah sure, why not?” I knew the invite was just a lie, but I knew the man wasn’t going to turn me down; he was kind and simply couldn’t take it.
“I’ll drive.” I offered, my long legs allowing me to walk ahead and just as I wanted, I stood next to you, opening the door to my vehicle and letting you go first. “Thanks.” You muttered.
The drive was… unpleasant. As much as Jimin tried to make small conversation, it simply didn’t go anywhere. I hated to admit, but Jimin wasn’t so bad. He tried his best to make me comfortable and no doubt himself, but I despised him and a part of him knew.
When we arrived at the theater after Jimin kept instructing me where to go, I paid for the tickets and for the snacks. I figured it was the least I could do after I stuck with you both like a leech. Jimin was thankful, patting me on the back and taking a seat on the tables the theater offered. He nodded when you voiced you needed to go to the restroom, and I took a seat, taking a sip of the cherry slushee.
“I don’t mean to pry, but did she tell you what happened last night?” His question caught me off guard.
“She didn’t have to tell me. I heard everything.”
He grimaced. “Yeah, about that, I’m sorry you had to hear that. It’s just - when she gets like that, she can’t stop and it’s difficult to speak.”
Was he seriously blaming you right now?
“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “I completely understand. Don’t worry about it.”
“You ever had a girlfriend, Namjoon?” Why did it sound like he was mocking me? Did I seem to be below him because I didn’t carry his fair skin and plump pink lips? He was everything I wasn’t - had everything I wanted, and I wanted to punch him until he was left unrecognizable and no one would ever look his way.
“No.” I replied with a shake of my head. “Not really.” He looked at me with confusion. “What do you mean, ‘not really’?
I despised thinking of Anna, and leave it to Jimin to bring back memories I wanted to bury deep in my consciousness. She was a woman who deserved no mercy, not after the way she spoke of my mother, like if she were scum below her shoes.
My mother was the light of my life and there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think of her and held her close to my heart.
I loved Anna, or at least I thought I did, and I admit, it did hurt me letting her go, but now I know that what I had with her was never love. She was a fiend, and you are an angel.
“I prefer not to talk about it. Do you mind if I go to the restroom?”
“No, of course no -“
I didn’t even let him finish. With caution, I checked my surroundings before I entered the women’s restroom, intently scanning the thin wooden doors of the stalls and once I caught the black Converse’s you wore, I placed my back against the wall, and waited.
The small little gasp of fear that escaped your mouth once you saw me made me smile. “Sorry. I just had to talk to you.” I shrugged, grabbing your wrists to bring you close. I couldn’t deny that it pained me when I went in to kiss you and you pushed me away.
There was confusion written all over my face, it was obvious, and you noticed.
“What the hell are you doing, Namjoon? Jimin is right outside and you can get in trouble if someone finds you in here.”
“I just wanted to talk to you. You - you have been acting weird ever since yesterday. I get it - just come over to my room tonight, yeah? Please? I have something I want to give you.”
You raised your brows. “Another plan B pill?
“Well, if I didn’t get it for you, you might as well could’ve been pregnant at this very moment. If you wanted to have my baby, you could have just said so.”
Would that really have been that bad?
“Don’t be an ass, dude.” With a huff and a roll of your eyes, you turned, making your way to the sink and pumping soap onto your hands. I followed just behind you and took you by the hips.
“Please?” My hands slithered lower and by the look of the reflection, I knew you were craving for more just as much as I was.
“O - okay. Fine. Just, let me go first or Jimin will realize what’s going on.”
“By all means,-“ I gestured with my hand. - ladies first.” And with a stolen kiss I smiled, seeing you walk away and no doubt, into the arms of my mortal enemy.
-
My leg shook with anticipation as I looked at the clock on my desk: 2:36AM. You said you’d be here, so where the hell were you? As soon as we got home from the theater, you said goodbye to Jimin and locked yourself inside your room. I knew because I knocked on your door multiple times before giving up and making my way to the little backyard home I resided in.
I huffed, landing with a thump on my bed, entertaining myself with the charm bracelet that was on my hand. My heart pounded once I heard two little knocks on my door and I instantly stood up and opened the door.
I smiled brightly once I saw you, dressed in a gray v-neck shirt and baby pink pajama pants with cupcakes cluttered on the cloth. “Hey, beautiful. What took you so long?”
You made your way in, taking a seat on my bed. “I took a nap.”
I chuckled and raised a brow. “You don’t take naps.”
Teasing, you replied, getting rid of your slippers and wrapping yourself around my blanket. “And how would you know that? Hm?”
I shrugged, “Through your window. You snore, do you know that?” I laughed out loud when you smacked me with my pillow, gasping with offense. “No I do not! You’re such a little liar!”
This could be our future.
Content and happiness, just you and I. Our home filled with laughs and quick witted banters. Couldn’t you see? We belonged together. I knew it the second I saw you.
“Here.”
My hand was out, presenting you the bracelet that I cherished as a part of me. My mother never took it off, from what I knew, she’d had it in her early teens and kept it since. You meant everything to me now, and it was yours to have.
“It’s beautiful Namjoon.” You gasped, sitting upright, stroking the charms.
“It was my mothers. I want you to have it.” I could see it in your eyes, you wanted to decline, but I wouldn’t allow it. “Please.”
I took a hold of your wrist, wrapping the jewelry around your carpus and connecting the clasp.
“Namjoon, I can -“
“Yes.” I pushed. “You can. I want you to have it. I have no purpose for it. It doesn’t fit and I’d rather it be used than to be locked inside a box without it ever seeing daylight again. Please? It would mean a lot to me.”
You eyed me for a few seconds then sighed. “Okay, fine. Thank you. I promise I’ll take great care of it.”
I didn’t doubt it for a second. You took me by surprise because like a flash of light, you engulfed me and kissed me with need. I didn’t hesitate to reciprocate. In seconds I wrapped you in my arms and our clothes were nonexistent - dropped on the floor in a haste to make ourselves whole.
I will never get enough of you. Your little gasp of pleasure made my tummy fill with extreme need as I entered you and held you close. It was intimate, our love making sounds resounding in my room. You cupped my face, gently stroking as if I wasn’t real and you wanted to verify if I was really there, making love to you.
“I’m here. I got you, sweetheart.”
And I was never letting you go.
-
The frantic 2AM call took me by surprise. It woke me from the deep slumber I was in, but the moment I saw your name on my screen, I didn’t hesitate to disconnect my phone from its charger and answer. I called your name in question and your distraught voice I heard next.
It was distressing, hysterical.
“Namjoon? I didn't know who else to call, but - but can you please come? I - I need your help, I don’t know what I di - he’s not fucking moving -he’s not answering i just pushed him and-
“Breathe, I’m on my way okay, just stay there. Don’t move.”
I don’t think I have ever sped the way I did making my way to you. As I parked my car on the side of the abandoned road, behind the white car with its hazards flashing bright, I knew something had happened.
Something terrible that you had done.
It wasn’t until I stepped out of my vehicle that I saw his limped body on the asphalt, a puddle of scarlet blood oozing from his head. You sat at his side with your knees inside your chest and with your frizzy hair at the front of your face, you looked up at me slowly. “He’s dead.”
-
I would’ve never thought I’d have to get rid of a dead body. A part of me felt disgusted as the monstrous act I had done devoured me whole, but I didn’t feel… guilt.
The immense jealousy that raged within me kept me from doing so. You met him, the bastard that made me cry after I made you mine for the first time, JiHoon, on a deserted road to enjoy hiding your dirty little secret: your adulterous little soul. I wished I understood why you felt the need to run into the arms of another when you had Jimin, you had me and god only knew how many others.
But even then, I still wanted you, through your imperfections and your need to want other men even though they caused me absolute agony. Good riddance to the bludgeoned man who crossed your path. He forced himself on you and there was only one way the night was going to end.
I’d done it to protect you, to keep you sane and perhaps even have you to myself.
The night bound us as one. A clandestine service that we would take to our deaths.
After I placed the cold corpse into my trunk, I took the tiny packet of white substance that laid on the concrete ground, and placed it inside my jeans. It was a good thing you both came in your car. There wouldn’t be any suspiciousness, hopefully, and we’d forget about this illicit night.
“Go home.” I said in seriousness, taking a hold of you by the nape of your hair. I was angry at you that I couldn’t even look you in the eye. “I’ll take care of him.”
You nodded and sniffled, cupping my hand and gently rubbed. “Thank you.”
And with a start of the engine, you raised your window up, and drove away.
-
“Namjoon!” Your mothers voice made my body jerk from surprise. I was on edge, it was human and I wanted nothing more than to get out of the situation I knew would take a while to get rid of. Your mother loved to talk.
“Hello.” I muttered with an empty smile. Your home smelled divine with the aroma of freshly made food, but I didn’t have an appetite. Who would?
“Will you join me today? My sweetheart of a daughter isn’t feeling too well. She came home reeking of god knows what and emptied her guts as soon as she stepped foot in the door.” With a shake of her head, she took a seat, gulping down the glass of wine in an instant.
If only she knew that her ‘sweetheart of a daughter’ wasn’t such a sweetheart after all. She had a dirty little secret and I was her accomplice.
“No. I apologize. I had a long night. I only wish to go to bed, if you do not mind.” I felt terrible for turning her down, but the only thought in my mind was to see you. To nurse you back to health even when I knew that you were traumatized by what you have done.
Your mother sighed and shrugged. “I understand. Have a good night.”
“Do you mind if I go see her? I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
She smiled. “Of course.”
I didn’t have to be told twice. My long legs took me there in seconds and as soon as I walked inside your bedroom, I took a seat beside you. You laid there on your side, your eyes red and swollen from the tears that were nonstop. “Can you lay with me, please?”
Who was I to not obey? I took you onto my chest, cupping your wet cheeks onto my hands. “Shh, baby. It’s okay.”
You muttered as you sobbed. “I - I’m sorry, I didn’t mea -“
“Shh, I know. You did nothing wrong, my love. But I want you to promise something, can you do that?”
You nodded. “You can’t speak to anyone about this, okay? No matter how much you want to. You weren’t there, do you hear me? I wasn’t there.”
Shakily, you breathed and nodded once again. “I understand.”
“But now you know why not to do such a thing, hm? It’s not okay. You’re lying to me, to Jimin all for what? You did something that you will never forgive yourself for, but I want you to know that I will do it all over again, for you. Do you understand?”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
After you slept like an angel wrapped around my arms, I left, not wanting your mom to come into your room and find us wrapped around each other.
I had trouble falling asleep, but soon thereafter, sleep found me and I slept soundly. I couldn’t believe I had. Ian hadn’t even crossed my mind. The scoundrel was six feet under and he’ll remain there where no one was to find him. Good riddance.
But you, you would never be the same. You were a murderer. An angel of death that brought a man to his knees for the simple act of crossing your path. And it seemed I was following the same path, I wasn’t dead, but when you would betray me, I would feel death dawn on me, getting closer and closer with every treachery you committed. But yet, you would bring me to cloud nine. How? I would never understand.
But I understood that I loved you. I love you like I have never loved anyone before. And though it suffocated me and drowned me, I always went back for more. I will always go back for more.
“Good morning.” I smiled, pecking the crown of your head as you sat with your legs crossed in the dining room, a fork at your fingertips, playing with the food on the plate. Your mother was gone, no doubt picking up an early shift at the local hospital, but as the doting mother that she was, she had left breakfast at the ready for you.
You gave me a tight lipped smile that made me frown. Your eyes were swollen, almost hollow when you looked at me. He was haunting your mind, his shadow following you, no doubt. But even when I knew, I had to ask. I couldn’t bear the thought of you in pain.
“How are you holding up?”
You shrugged, biting your lips. “I don’t know. Is it weird that I don’t know what I’m actually feeling? I can’t explain it, even though I really really want to.”
“It’s okay to feel that way. You went through something… traumatic, and you won’t bounce back from it as soon as possible. It takes time, but I promise as time continues, it’ll get easier.”
You eyed me. “How do you know that?”
You skeptical little, beautiful thing.
“…I am just placing myself in your shoes, I tend to do that in certain situations. Would you like more breakfast?”
You shook your head, taking one last bite of the egg before standing up. “No, thank you. I'm meeting with Jimin.”
You moved, making your way up the stairs as my jaw clenched in anger, and my words made you stop in your tracks. “Jimin, hm? I - I thought you were ending things with him.”
You turned with furrowed brows, “I never said that.” Will this be the first time I’d feel your fury towards me? It was obvious I’d pushed a button.
“No? I thought the night before might’ve been an answer to your actions. You no longer love him. You have proved it time and time again, have you not?”
“You don’t know shit, Namjoon. I love hi-“
I couldn’t help it, I was infuriated by your nonsense comment that you didn’t mean. “You’re cheating on him with me! You have multiple times. And don’t even get me started on the man that you killed last night because I’m sure you weren’t there only for the coke, or am I wrong? Hm? Why in the hell do you still go back to him!”
“Because I can, Namjoon. Because I can. And it’s none of your fucking business anyway!”
“Yesterday was my business. You had no one else to call because you don’t trust anyone. You trust me! Not Jimin, not even the friends you don’t have, not even your own mother!”
I struck a cord. I gasped when you hurled a glass cup my away and I only managed to move away immediately before it struck me.
“Fuck you, Namjoon! Fuck you!” And with that, you walked away, grabbing your keys from the bowl near the door and slamming the door with such force that it shook the walls.
I stood there paralyzed and it wasn’t until I noticed that my body was shivering with anger? With distress? I couldn’t tell, but I was crying. The tears fell freely after being locked inside for what seemed like years and with blurry vision, I grabbed the broom and picked up your mess that your temper had caused.
That’s what I started to do ever since I met you: pickup after you and the disarray you left behind, and perhaps even myself. You left me in shambles and before I knew it, I was on the ground, on my knees as my shoulders shook from the sobs that escaped my chest.
And there, on the ground, in the depths of hell I felt I was in, I knew you had dug your grave. I loved you with everything I had, but this couldn’t go on any longer.
You had made your choice and I couldn't change your mind.
If I can’t have you, then you will not have anybody else.
-
The anonymous tip came in at midnight. I could see the blinding blue lights coming from the front yard of your house even where I resided.
Three police vehicles made themselves welcome in your yard, and I only knew exactly what was happening. Your mothers voice was louder than usual, hysterical as the officers handcuffed you and declared you your rights, walking you out onto the awaiting SUV. I made myself known, asking with faux concern and holding your mother’s shoulders as she cried, almost wanting to drag herself over to you.
There were tears in your eyes once I finally looked at you. You knew it was me and I held absolute pride even when I truly felt for you. But there was something more important in my eyes that you instantly understood.
My menacing and threatening look in my gaze. I had your mother in my grasp and if you wanted to see her once again - behind bars of course, you’d do best to keep quiet about what I had done. What I did for YOU.
Did you really think I would’ve done such a thing for you without looking out for me? I knew exactly the type of person you were, but yet, I still fell for you deeply, like no else had done - like Jimin never did.
I knew where JiHoons’ body was placed, I knew absolutely everything, and I knew enough not to wipe away your DNA from his body, your hair that I took a hold of after I told you to go home when you murdered him in cold blood.
I placed you on such a high pedestal and I despised knowing that it took me such a long time to comprehend such a thing. But I still loved you so much.
The moment I set my sight on you, I viewed you as an angel fallen from above, a beautiful creature that did no wrong.
But you weren’t an angel.
You were my hell on earth. Though you brought me to such highs, you brought me to a low, and saddened mess. Your loyal puppeteer that you knew you could manipulate just as you wanted because you knew the hold you had on me.
But you made a mistake with me and though I loved you, you had a price to pay.
It’s what you deserved.
Much love.
- Kim Namjoon.
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kivedreams · 8 months
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CAN'T GET ENOUGH. knj.
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pair. idol namjoon x f. reader. 
genre. established relationship, long distance, have never said I love you. 
warnings. +18, daddy kink, unprotected sex, power imbalance, rough sex, filthy sex, dirty talk, fingering, namjoon is really demanding, lil degradation.
synopsis; you’ve been waiting for me so patiently, I know, I’ll reward you, you little slut! or namjoon has 3 free days from the military service and he decides to enjoy them with you.
word count: 3.5k
A/N: I haven't write a fic in seven years, I hope this lives to the today's standards. kive
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It was already sunset, everything felt quiet and lonely in the apartment, music had become a sad thing to play, so enjoying silence had become your main thing the last 3 months, since he had gone, as a foreigner you didn't fully comprehend the concept behind military service, in your country military had never been a big thing, consequences of being an small country that never seem to need it, so the moment that you realize that Namjoon actually had to enlist for around 2 years made a fissure in your heart, you really could not imagine how life was going to be for you, for both of you during that time, will your relationship be able to fight the distance? you had already been dating for over a year and everything felt like a fairytale, sneaking around, going to cafes in the countryside, hiding in your apartments, the sneaky kisses, grabbing hands under the table, and hiding your relationship from everyone else, because it was safer for both of you, it made things fun and exciting, but of course it was sad too, not being able to go around seoul’s streets holding hands, not being able to share pictures of you together, not being able to kiss him whenever you wanted and denying the obvious from everyone, that you were completely in love with Kim Nam Joon.
You knew that it was going to be the result after accepting that personal assistant job, but it was ok, the pay was amazing, the opportunities were amazing, you were going to be working side by side with someone you have already admired for years, so just keeping a lid in your feelings wasn't going to be a hard sacrifice, but two whole years being behind the smart, handsome, and talented men that namjoon was, proved to be way harder than you thought It'll be, of course you got drunk, of course you forgot with who you were with, and of course it ended up with you, namjoon, the empty hall in your building, and you shouting to the world that your boss was the most beautiful men that you have ever seen and of course that it would be a pleasure to have his children, you would have been honored to do so, and the last thing that you remember is namjoon’s laugh and then falling into the darkness.
Next morning, you woke up in your bed, completely tuck in, with you curls in a bonnet, not a single drop of makeup on and a dreadful headache, you felt so bad that you thought you might puke, water was a must, while you walked down to kitchen in your one bedroom studio apartment, that was perfect for you and your cats, nobody could've expected what your eyes saw.
Kim Nam Joon was sat in your living room reading one of the books that you picked up the last time you were in the bookstore, Kim Ji Young born 1982 by Choi Nam-Joo, the shock was visible in your eyes, you didn't know what to do or what to say, you wanted to just roll back to your room and hide there for the next 5 years, why was Namjoon in your living room reading on your brown chair one of your books and drinking coffee from that pretty pink mug you thrifted a while ago? he did not notice your presence until you cat, Komi walked over to you meowing and demanding to be feeded.
He lowered his gaze from the book to look at your completely shocked face. “Good morning Y/N, I knew you were going to sleep till late. I made coffee and breakfast, do you want some?” he said with a little smirk, that did not mean too much for you at the moment.
You were frozen by the idea of having Namjoon in your house, you've been dropped off with him a thousand times, but he had never come in. Once you realize you've been in complete silence for a minute since he asked, you remembered that you had to respond. “Y-yes, I do” you said with a low but strong voice. “Ok, sit down I'll get it for you” he said while standing up, you couldn't sit down without feeding your cats first, you used it as an excuse to go to the bathroom and see the state that you were, bonnet falling up to the side, your bare face that showed how much you drank last night, you quickly washed up your face and fixed the bonnet because it was going to be impossible to do more than that.
Walking with small steps to the kitchen, you said good morning as soon as you saw Namjoon, he smiled at you and said the same, offering you the same pink cup but full of fresh coffee. “How do you feel? Do you have any headaches? I ordered some hangover medicine for you” he said lifting a white bag with the nearest pharmacy logo printed all over it, you could feel the embarrassment in your whole body, grabbing the bag and looking thru its contents, you took the gold colored bottle that you new was going to get rid of any traces of the effect of alcohol in your system. He put a bowl full of rice next to you, making you realize the side dishes that were in the countertop, and while holding two bowls, one that looked it had kimchi on it and another  with salted veggies on it Kim NamJoon said,
“So, you'll be honored to have my children?” in a laughing tone, and you knew it was over.
========
That have been a whole year ago and it was still embarrassing for you, but somehow your feelings were not one sided, and thanks to that dumb slip off, you were there now in the apartment that you shared with the man of your dreams, it was lonely without him, but you were stress free and relaxed with your little demons, your cats, exactly what Namjoon wanted. When he suggested that it would be better for you to move in with him, the idea made you nervous but in the good way, moving together was an important step in your relationship. It made clear that Namjoon was taking the relationship as serious as you were, and honestly everything was better and easier.
You heard the door code and it spook you, because only you, Namjoon, the cleaning lady and maybe Jin had it, walking down the hallway to the door you were kind of scared, you knew it wasn't a thread because the security wouldn't let anybody come in, and the moment that the door opened you heart sank in surprised and happiness, there he was dressed in his military gear, carrying a small bag with his left hand, looking at you with those fiery eyes, you could not keep it to yourself so you left the scream out.
“Omg, omg omg! Nam!” you screamed while running close to him, he caught you up dropping his bag to the floor and lifting you closer, making it seem like there wasn't a height difference, and there it was that wood, forest scent that gave you peace, the scent of the man that had ingrained himself in your heart, it made you feel at home, you started kissing his whole face, while loading him with a million questions on the why and the how.
He let out a small laugh, walking with you on top to the entrance. 
“They gave us three rest days'' he said, kissing you back, you feel his warm soft lips on top of yours, redirecting the kiss, your body touching the wall, while he slowly lets you on the floor wrapping his big hands around your waist.
“I missed you so much Y/N, in a desperate type of way” kiss “You look so beautiful, I'm so happy to see you” he whispered in your ear, kiss “How have my baby been?” he asked in that low musky voice that drove you crazy, you wrapped your hands around his neck, asking him to lift you to his face, and he did, as always.
“I have been missing you since day one, sleeping on your side of the bed, even though it doesn't smell like you anymore” you replied kissing him back with the same amount of passion and intensity “how are you babe?” 
“Right now, I am marvelous, in front of heaven's doors you could say” he looked at you with those intense eyes, and that happy puppy face, letting you on the floor, moving to the bench at the entrance to remove the big black military boots that made him look even taller. 
“I genuinely cannot believe that you're here, in front of me” you said sitting next to him.
“I am baby, here in front of you” he replied, kissing your forehead. “ and if it were for me I'll never leave” 
========
And there you were lying down, cuddling on the sofa, watching a random entertainment show that was on, both of you way to happy after making dinner together. You were trying to get even closer to him, even when your whole body was already on top of him, and he had you wrapped in his arms, it was never enough. 
“Are you cold?” he asked, pulling you closer. You moved your body resting your face in his chest “No, I just want to be closer” you replied hugging him, he laughed, you feel the vibration of his body in yours. “It's never enough for you, is it?” he sat down carrying you up.
“You know it is not” you said sitting on top of him kissing his neck. He put his hands on your thighs, you know how much he loves them, you're sure that they are now bigger since you've put on some weight due to stress eating this few months, between being ‘jobless’ and without him, cooking had become your comfort zone; you feel the way he's grabbing you, more aggressively by the minute, you like it, like you always do.
He enjoys your body until you let a small moan slip next to his ears, you feel how his whole body tense up, Namjoon moves his mouth to your neck whispering “ You liked that?” in a deep voice, he was turned on, and you were too.
“Y-yes” you replied in a moan while he slid his hands through the short pajama pants that you should have not been wearing during winter.
His hands started to wander around your waist, pulling the white cardigan out of you, letting wet kisses all around your neck, one of his hands left you waist, grabbing one of your breast he started stroking it, making you let out another moan, he knew where all your bottoms where and he started pressing them on, you'll be lying if you don't admit how horny you have been this months without him, you wanted it so bad, so desperately, you need it. He stopped stroking your breast over the blouse that you had, to rip it from your body.
“I want to fuck you so hard  Y/N, you’ve been waiting for me so patiently, I know, I’ll reward you, you little slut! ” He said passing his hand through your chest, he let a wet kiss on your neck and moved his mouth to your left breast placing his tongue on your nipple playing with it.
You let a moan out and heard a chuckle coming from his mouth, and then he started sucking on you tit while keeping one of his hands on your neck, there he was, he loved taking control of you, you could feel how his hand was holding you tightly, reminding you who you were from. He loved to know that he owns you, and that you gladly agree. 
He freed your neck and started playing with your other tit, your head falling into his neck moaning his name, his thick long cock rising up in his joggers you could feel it brushing in your leg, it was making you lose your mind, Namjoon loved when you please him, and you loved to please him, your hand reached to the border of his pants, touching his hard erection through the fabric, he moaned.
“This is how happy I am to see you” he said standing up with you on top, his voice was deep and his eyes were filled with desire, he sat you down on the edge of the couch removing your shorts and panties together.
 “I love how wet you are, tell me how much you want it” he said taking a step back to look at you, dripping wet, shining with sweat “I want to always see you like this, desperately waiting for me to eat you up, tell me Y/N, do you want it? call for it”
“Y-yes, Nam I want it!” you beg through desperate breaths, trying to catch your breath, to breathe at a normal pace. 
“Wrong Y/N” he said loud and demanding “What's my name?” he walked up to you, taking both your hands, kneeling you down in front of the couch, resting you face in it, he put his big hand in the center of your back bending you down even more “I’m going to finger you until you remember what's my name, you whore!” 
He slapped your cheek making you moan, his hands were moving around your whole body, like if he was tasting you, his right hand moved just to the top of you venus mount, opening you up with his long fingers, Namjoon started to play with your clitoris, making you moan and beg for his dick, but he wasn't going to give it to you, until you give him what he wanted.
“Daddy please!” you moaned, exactly what he wanted to hear.
“That's my baby, tell daddy what you want, and he’ll give it to you” he said in your ears, kissing your neck, his kisses moving down to your back, while he put a finger inside of you. “Is this what you want baby, talk to me” he said putting another finger inside.
“I want-t you inside, inside of me daddy”
“Who am I to deny your wishes” he said in a chuckle “ Stand up for me baby” he demanded so you did, his clothes were already on the floor, and when you stood up, you could see his dick in full bloom, he sat down on the couch making you sat on top of him, your back in his chest, you could feel how the military training had pay its fruits, he took your breasts in his hands, caressing your nipples “Look down honey, look how wet your pussy is, begging to be fucked”
All you could see was his dick touching you. You grabbed it with both hands pumping it up, seeing his shiny tip, desperate for it to be inside of you, the action well received with his moans and hard breathes.
 “Damn baby, you never hesitate, c’mon put it inside of you! ” he teased.
You lifted up your body, him helping you with his hands now on your thighs, you used you hands to drive his long shiny cock to your entrance, feeling the tip inside of you, driving it slower, but of course Namjoon would not let you have that, he moved his hands making you whole body fall in his cock, it opening you up, the stretch hitting you up just where you need it, driving you crazy the way that you could feel it completely filling you up. He stayed there for a second waiting on you, making sure that you were ok.
“M-move, please move!” you beg in a whisper, he gave it to you.
Namjoon hugged your body, lifting you while moving himself up and down, you heard him moaning and panting, and that made you even more aroused, he was stretching you up, giving you what you wanted, his dick.
3 months without seeing him and getting his touch, how much you missed him
made you feel insane, but now he was here showing you that he was going insane too without your body close to him, it was joyful having you on top of him.
Namjoon started to touch your clit with two of his fingers, you were so wet for him, and he was enjoying it to the fullest, he could feel how close you were, he wasn't going to last longer either.
And suddenly he pulls out, making you moan in disbelief
“why?!” you screamed
“ I want to see your face when you come for me” 
He turned you around, like a rag doll, you forgot how strong Namjoon was, especially when he wanted you in a specific place.
“C’mon sit on it” he said grabbing his dick, you did not hesitate, and sat on it immediately
“D-daddy!” 
He kissed you, deeply,his tongue exploring your mouth, he grabbed your ass with both of his hands making the pace even more aggressive, you were about to cum, you felt it, breaking the kiss, feeling the lack of air and the heat in the room. Your moans louder by the second.
“Come for daddy baby, come” he whispered in your ears with his deep voice, and that was it his sucked your nipple while you came making you a mess of moans and deep breaths, orgasm hitted you high, and you could feel him still using your body to get to his own climax.
“I'm coming inside baby” his voice even deeper, and you wanted it.
“Yes daddy, cum inside of me” you moaned for him.
His thick load filling you up, the warmth of his cum heating you up from inside, his moans drive you crazy making you cum again with him, a mix of moans and hard breaths, inhale, exhale, fill the room, you fell on top of him trying to catch your breath. 
“That was intense, I am out of words” you whispered hugging him
“Indeed” he said, caressing your lower back. “ I love you Y/N” 
He stand up with on top, wearing a shocked expression on your face it was the first time he ever said it, it caught you by surprise, Namjoon trust issues were as clear as the day, so he never fully open up about his feelings, and you let him, you understood that it would take time, for him to be completely open to you, it was ok you were there for him and that was the best way to prove him that he could trust you with his feelings, him saying I love you market a new path in you relationship. 
Before you could realize it, you were already in the bathroom Namjoon, pulling out of you letting you slowly on the floor. The mess between your legs demanded to be cleaned, he kissed your shoulder and said “ Want to take a bath?” you nod, still in disbelief of what has happened. 
Namjoon prepared the bath for the both of you, using the bath salts that you loved, you were still there standing up in front of the mirror, seeing him move through it, making sure the water was warm enough lighting up the candles, he got close to you hugging you from the back “Lets rinse up first, ok?” you felt the doubt in his voice, the nervousness in his system, you could only nod. He moved you to the shower, tying up your hair in a bun, he knew wetting your hair at this time meant a test, you feel the water going in your skin, the warmth felt good.
“Ok, you're clean baby, come” he said, driving you out of the water to the bath.
You could see the stars through the windows of the bathroom, there you were resting on his chest, hearing his calm breath, feeling his hands on your ways, the bubbles covering your bodies,the burning smell of the candles, and the warmth embracing both of you.
“Nam” you said in a whisper.
“Yes babe” he said, taking your hand.
“I love you too” 
You heard him exhale deeply, meaning relief, “I was scared, though I said it too soon” he said, moving your body so you could face him.
“I wasn't expecting it so I got surprised, sorry”
“Nothing to be sorry for babe” he said, giving you a kiss, it was sweet and soft, he was telling you how much he loved you. You broke the kiss.
“Can you say it again? I want to hear it more” you said smiling, your body could not keep the amount of happiness going through your body.
“I love you Y/N” he whispered, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer for a kiss, and there you knew he was going to make love to you again, because it was never enough with you two. 
 ===============================================
with love kive <3
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uranusgallery · 17 days
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「 MEGAN THEE STALLION 」
[ Icons & Header :: NEVA PLAY ft RM of BTS ]
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➯ ˢᵉ ᵘˢᵃʳ˒ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳ˒ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗᵃʳ @ᵁʳᵃⁿᵘˢᴹᵃⁿᵍ
36 notes · View notes
pttwice · 5 months
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little adhd!sana hc
first and foremost sana is a cuddle bug - if she could, she would be cuddling with the members 24/7
she usually regress anywhere from 3-7 but mostly 5-7
sana is very proud of herself because she can potty by herself
momo and jihyo are her main caregivers and she absolutely adores nayeon whenever momohyo aren’t around because nayeon will just sit and listen to her talk for hours
even if her mamas saw her five minutes ago, they have to say hello to her if they leave the room and come back in (bonus points for mohyo if they call her love bug)
her love language is physical touch! she thrives off of touching and holding hands
depriving herself of physical touch is also a way that she punishes herself :(
even if she hasn't done anything wrong, she won't let anyone touch her - holding hands is even off limits
it takes a lot of encouragement and love to let sana know that she hasn't done anything wrong for her to let someone touch her or for her to touch someone else
she starts really slowly by sitting very close to whoever she thinks is upset with her and then carefully easing into holding a finger and then eventually a hand
it doesn't matter if she can't fit on jihyo or momo's lap. if there's space, she will find some way to fit and curl herself into them
her favorite foods are tteokbokki, takis, and yogurt (raspberry yogurt is her favorite)
whenever she goes on walks with her mamas, she gets happy hands and stims if she sees a dog
she has a really hard time paying attention if she can't move so her mamas and the members try to hold her hands and move them or rock her so she can focus better
she talks a lot so it's a bit difficult to watch tv and movies with her - but, if she has a toy to play with or something to stim with, she'll be focused for at least half of a show or movie (breaks in between are a must so she can walk around or play a game to let some energy out)
she loves playing tag and it's one of the easiest ways to tire her out if they need to be in the car or on a plane for a long time
even though sana doesn't like playing video games, she loves watching mina play them - it keeps her entertained and she can talk to mina wihout mina actually having to listen
if she's upset at her mamas, she'll still ask for them to hold her but she refuses to give them kisses until they talk about what made her upset
getting what she wants is kind of sana's thing. all she has to do is look at momo with her honey brown eyes and she folds - momo would give sana the world if she could
if she’s in a very good mood, she’s extra giggly and will keep saying hi to the members. she really likes saying hi to nayeon. she goes “hi, nae nae” and then giggles after each time
she has a hard time with dance practice and momo usually has to take extra time to guide her through the steps, but momo doesn't mind since she gets to spend extra time with her love bug
sana is one of the happiest littles. she's always bouncing around and clinging to her members, but they absolutely adore her and love doting on her
i thought i posted this yesterday but it never made it through :(
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the-expired-tofu · 1 year
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The Devil's Trumpets | Pt. 5
|| A 'The Glory' fanfic || MINORS DNI [18+]
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a/n: Hey there, this is my first time writing a fan fiction. I might change a few things in my fictions later on. Also, my English isn't my first language so my writing might lack some fluency. Hope you enjoy :)
trigger warnings: lots of swearing, bullying, murder, gore, depression, abuse, mature content, violence, sexual themes.
pairing: reader x multi
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Moon Dong-Eun
I’ve been a great help to Y/N for quite many days. I finished tutoring Min-hee and helped her get into the Semyeong Elementary School. On the other hand, I helped Y/N move into her new apartment. After finishing helping her settle, I got her the job at the convenience store. The old lady was really nice and that she told us that she was in need of another helper since she couldn’t handle everything all alone. All the supplies for the school and the transportation services were done by me.
After everything was done, I brought Y/N to my apartment. She was caught off-guard due to all the pictures of them attached to the walls in front of her.
“You did quite the research, didn’t you? You weren’t kidding back then when you told me you tracked each and every step they took,” she said as she slowly approached a picture of the group together in their teens. She was reading the sticky notes that I attached on some of the pictures when she saw a polaroid of her when she was young, followed by few other pictures of her from the current time, along with her niece. She also saw a few photos of her families before and after they separated. She stood in front of those and rubbed her finger gently on an image of a girl I believe was her sister.
“You didn’t leave me out as well,” she said as she turned around to meet my eyes. “I have every reason to be mad at you, Dong-eun, but at the same time, I don’t. I can simply report you to the police for stalking me and immediately put an end to your years’ effort, but at the same time, I can’t. I can easily walk out of this place and quit participating in your plan, but I don’t wish to. Because I trust you, Moon Dong-Eun. Not only am I risking my own life, but also Min-hee’s life. Once they find out about her, they will use her against me as my weakness. So make sure you prove me wrong and help us not get caught.”
After hearing those words from her, that’s when I knew I did the right thing involving her in this. She’s aware of the environment she’s getting herself into and knows how to take the necessary precautions, and not just an airhead with the lust for revenge.
“I knew you would feel this way once you notice those pictures. But I couldn’t help it either. When we were in school, you never bought a cell-phone for yourself. So it was quite difficult to track you down.”
“I would rather call it stalking than tracking down, Dong-eun,” she said as she turned away from me to look back at those images. I couldn’t say anything since she made a fair point. But I didn’t have any other choice either.
“I don’t recognize her. Who’s she?” She points out to a picture of Hyeon-nam.
“That’s Kang Hyeon-nam. She works for me as my assistant. She’s the one who helped me land the job as a homeroom teacher. She’s also the one who ‘stalked’ you.”
“Huh, interesting,” she said as she removed her finger from the picture and placed her hands inside her pockets. “I would like to get to know her.”
“You will when the time is right.”
I walk towards the kitchen as she moves from the wall to the window, her eyes never taking it off of those images.
I placed a small security camera at the top shelf in my kitchen, making it unnoticeable, and connected it with my phone. I took out another small box that contained another security camera and handed it to Y/N.
“There’s a possibility of them finding out about our address once they get to know about our plans. So take this, and install this somewhere where nobody will notice it. And don’t be surprised when one of them or all of them enters your house when nobody’s there.”
“Alright,” she takes it from my hand and puts it back into her satchel.
“Come on, let’s go to the roof.”
“The roof?”
“Yeah, I want to show you something.”
“Okay,” she walks past me towards my door. I unlock the door open as she busies herself in putting her shoes back on. As we got outside, I locked it behind me and walked towards the elevator. 
We got inside the elevator and pushed the button to go upwards.
“Did you get the invitation for the Alumni Awards?”
“Sorry, what?”
“The Alumni Awards ceremony at Sung-han High. It’s in a few days.”
“Oh yeah maybe I did. I haven’t checked it yet.”
“Am thinking of going.”
“Wait, they’re going to be there too, wouldn’t they?”
“Yes. You need to come as well.”
“What’s the use? We aren’t even getting any awards?”
“It’s not about awards, Y/N, it’s a game of intimidation.”
She kept staring at me as if I said something illegal that deserves life in prison. We didn’t talk for a while.
The elevator came to an abrupt halt and the doors slowly opened before us. We stepped outside and climbed few more stairs to finally get to the roof.
It was a beautiful evening with the sun just setting, the color of the sky a perfect hue of flame. We came near the edge that overlooked the houses that stretched far beyond our vision. The tall buildings at far distances created just the flawless silhouette I’ve ever witnessed. Everything about Semyeong just felt so beautiful at the moment. I never took some time for myself to appreciate how exquisite this place this. The ordeals I faced here, never actually gave me any time to appreciate anything about my life.
“You see the house there?” I points to the one nearby.
“Yeah, what about it?”
“That’s where Yeon-jin lives.”
The perfect moment she was in immediately faded when she heard her name.
“That’s where she lives?”
“Yes. Ha Ye-sol, Ha Do-yeong, Park Yeon-jin, all under the same roof.”
She looked at me with her bewildered eyes, a face of the scared.
“But-then why did you buy this apartment? Wont they find out easily?”
“Not so easily Y/N, she has no clue whatsoever. She still thinks that she can get away with anything. She never learns.”
She looks back at the house. The lights on the road and inside the house lit up as it got darker. We didn’t talk for a while. The sun had set a while ago. Everything is just happening so fast, it’s making me feel overwhelmed, but I didn’t think of telling that to Y/N, otherwise she would be scared too, almost like how a mother deep down feels scared for their children but acts like there’s nothing wrong, just for them to not get scared.
It’s been my dream, for so many years, to stand here and watch over all of them, behaving as if they did absolutely nothing wrong, as if, they can get away with anything they want. Little do they know, that am right here, right in front of them, to prove them wrong.
“The day I dropped out from Sung-han High, I went to meet them, at the gym.”
She removed her hands from the edge and turned to look at me.
“What?”
“Yes. That day, I felt something new, some kind of new change in myself, something a bit evil.”
“Evil?”
“Yes. Almost like, the end of their reign, but a beginning of my hell.”
“What happened that day?”
“That day, was the only day I entered the gym voluntarily. Nobody forcibly dragged me there, I went in completely on my own. I remember so clearly, as I walked in, Hye-jeong started walking away from me, as if she was scared of me. But I ignored her, and went straight to Yeon-jin, sitting at her usual place. The weirdest part is, we talked about our dreams.”
“Dreams?”
“Yeah, they submitted their “dreams” at Cyworld, and I read all of them, told them about those that day. Yeon-jin dreamt of becoming a wise mother and a wife, Choi Hye-jeong dreamt of becoming a stewardess, Jeon Jae-joon wanted to own the golf course, and Lee Sa-ra dreamt of being an artist. Obviously, they asked me about my dream as well.”
“So what did you say then?”
“Yeon-jin,” I said with a pause. “I told her that she was my dream, and that I really wish to meet her again.”
“So all of our dreams finally came true.”
“Indeed. And I wish to bring them to their knees and show them no mercy.”
She turned around to look at me again, but I didn’t. I haven’t taken my eyes off of that house.
“Does Ha Do-yeong have the slightest idea that he married a monster?”
“He doesn’t, but he will soon. And so will Ha Ye-sol. I wish to isolate her to the point that the people she holds dear, the ones who covered up her crimes, will give up on her. Soon then she will feel like the only human on this planet, she would become completely transparent. All of her crimes and secrets will show up and she will rot in hell. Nobody will ever even think, of helping her. You can never change a monster, Y/N, never.”
She stares at me for a while and then looks away. The air was filled with aroma of the potted plants behind us.
“Do you wanna know what Myeong-oh’s dream was?”
“What?”
“To become rich.”
She began eyeing me from the side when we burst into laughters. When was the last time I laughed like this?
We took a breather to stop ourselves from more laughing. It was quite hilarious how Myeong-oh dreamt of becoming rich yet here he is, working as Jae-joon’s lackey.
“Alright then. I guess I’ll see you on the awards day.”
“Yeah.”
We went back the same way we came to the roof. Climbed down the little flight of stairs and got into an elevator to the ground floor.
I saw her out and got her a cab. As I went up to my apartment, I was thinking of how I could have told her about the meeting I had with Myeong-oh few days ago. I will tell her when the timing is right. I bribed him enough to keep him in suspense—he will also be the one to know who murdered Yoon So-hee, hopefully.
************************************************************************
Pt. 6 will be out soon
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toastywindow · 6 months
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man, i just love the ichigang just cause theyre the very definition of ride-or-die friends. ichiban trying to cope with his grief by punching grunts, and the gang is like cool with it. ichiban deciding to fight The Kazuma Kiryu, and they can feel- hell, they know that man is out of their league, but theyre like 'fuck it, we need to support our bff like how he did to us'
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1-800-c0sm1c · 1 year
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꒰win it all !꒱
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to build hype around the new season, your arrival to the games was kept a secret up until it went live, and some legends had more notable reactions than others.
character x legend!reader
includes crypto, octane, and mirage !
a/n : im sorry ive been gone but look i made you some contenttttt daddy made you your favorite open wide 🥳. im noticing a severe lack of apex fanfics rn so here is my contribution 🤲.
warnings : mentions of stalking (average crypto behavior), drugs (average octane behavior), & mentions of hooking up (you guessed it, average mirage behavior).
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CRYPTO // TAEJOON PARK: 
crypto doesnt like surprises, period. its one thing if its mediocre like a birthday party, but a whole person was hidden under his nose and he had no idea? unacceptable.
in summary, youve shattered his ego simply from your presence. not cool.
hes not really known for looking approachable either, so unless youve got the balls or stupidity to talk to him, hell keep to himself and sulk. this sets back any plans he had in the back of his mind by a whole season.
when you introduce yourself to him on the dropship he practically ignores you, acting as if anything else is more interesting than this small talk.
"hi im y/n, ive heard a lot about you from mirage. nice to meet you!" he rolls his eyes, witt is always one to blabber about others.
you scoff at his response, "dont expect me to be as open and idiotic as elliott." he almost adds you to that list, but holds back on it. if anything lifeline has told him holds weight, you could be useful to get information from the syndicate.
"im crypto by the way." he continues, if he plays his cards right you could almost be worth his time.
getting paired with you and mirage was almost comical, its as if the games were trying to make his life as hard as possible.
you got along annoyingly well with mirage, but you seemed more hesitant when it came to crypto, which was truly bothered him. (it was not jealousy at all. he was not jealous whatsoever. nope, definitely not.)
hes struggling to interact with you, like he does with most of the other legends, but youre a different case due to how useful you could be to him. thats usually the reasoning he uses when he racks his brain for ideas to come across less mean without irreparably ruining his reputation.
as if his prayers had been answered, a few hours after your first game you appear in the doorway to his room with a piece of high tech equipment in your hand. but your expression is different from how it was before. you appear upset, how can you be angry with him already? youve barely interacted!
if you want to be pissy, so can he. "can i help you? he asks, annoyance in his voice. "im almost sure you can, brilliant hacker." you drop the equipment in front of him on his desk, distracting him from his current project. he scowls. "what exactly am i looking at here?" you roll your eyes. "you tell me, this is clearly yours right? found it in my room." 
he examines the object, looks like a hidden camera. "ive never seen this before, if you want me to fix it call someone else, im not tech support." he pushes it to the side, but youre not having it. "nuh-uh, you cant brush this off. i know youve created the cameras used to record the games, this has to be your tech!"
so you think hes stalking you? thats a good idea honestly, he wish he had thought of it first. "just because i created those doesnt mean i also designed this. looks like someone else wants to keep an eye on you. got anyone in mind?" you pause for a moment, letting his words sink in. why cant it just be an open and shut case?
"i have no idea, i just got here! is anyone else even knowledgeable enough to design something like this?" he shrugs. "looks can be deceiving." "will you at least help me figure out whos stalking me?" he wants to say no. he knows its bad news, especially for someone like him to get involved in. but its a great opportunity to get closer to you. closer to his end goal, and despite it truly not being the only reason, he decides its good enough for him. "i guess i can make time, tell me about your interactions since youve joined." 
from this point on, you and crypto get much closer, it feels like he knows everything about you. (maybe he does honestly 💀.)
but you can tell hes getting frustrated when it comes to the hidden camera, and you cant help but feel like a nuisance. 
on the surface, crypto looks like you are whats stressing him out. why hes angrier than usual, why hes drowning himself in his work. and in a way thats true, but not exactly.
in reality, hes more worried for your safety. your arrival was an entire surprise, so how could someone have infiltrated your room to begin with? he cant figure it out, and almost entirely forgets the original reason he wanted to get to know you. 
its no longer a matter of getting information, that can wait. he has all season after all. but someone else trying to watch you? he wont tolerate it, and wants it to be the first thing thats fixed, he likes you much better when youre not paranoid, not like him.
OCTANE // OCTAVIO SILVA:
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HYPED!!! another legend is always exciting to octane, even more so when he gets lucky enough to be paired with them.
octavio can be a bit much at times, but you match his energy almost perfectly! 
dedication to the apex games, and genuinely having a great time, not finding him annoying??? he should ask if youre into hard drugs too at this point.
anyone who goes up against the two of you on a team together should fear for their lives. octane swears hes never had so much fun in a match before. (almost as much fun as id have if kings canyon was in the map rotation this season ☹.)
theres a voice in the back of his head that he cant shake, telling him youre someone sent from the syndicate to mess with him, or maybe something worse.
he doesnt want to risk making you upset with him (like some other legends) so he reluctantly keeps these thoughts to himself, but due to his online personality being so similar to his real self, you almost immediately notice a change.
you decide to confront octane after the match, and originally he completely disregards your questions.
"what are you on about, compadre? im fine, really!" but youre not having it, and octane knows youre not going to drop this so easily.
"i just cant help but think this isnt how you usually act outside of games." you shrug when he asks for your reasoning of pressing on. "well how would you know? you just got here." he chuckles. "which i think is exactly why youre hiding things from me. i understand though, its hard to trust someone you just met. i only had an outsiders perspective up until a few hours ago."
"thats exactly whats so scary about you amigo. you seem like youre some fuckin syndicate spy!" "why? because we get along?" octane sighs. maybe having a legend who understands him is a bad thing. its easier to justify someone who hates him, theres plenty reason to. but like him? enjoy his company? hes confused, to say the least.
hes frantically reaching for one of his stims, if his mind is going to be racing so frantically, the rest of his body might as well do the same. "lets leave this here for now, yeah? ive got some videos to film!" he gets up quickly, but stops dead in his tracks when you offer to help him with his stunts. he whips around back over to you. "you sure?" you nod with a smile that might make him more energetic than any stim could. "alright cmon cmon cmon! i hope you known how to hold a camera, if you miss any good shots im gonna be pissed!"
rumors start about octanes elusive camera operator, all kinds of misinformation spreads too, some of it crazier than others. 
you personally find it funny, sometimes tempting the viewers by almost flipping it around to show your face, but youre stopped by octane and his ridiculously fast reflexes everytime.
"hey hey amigo no need to ruin the mystery! plus you totally just didnt film that awesome stunt i just did! what am i paying you for!?" 
you try your best to stop yourself from laughing, but at this point youre sure it must be obvious its you behind the camera, youre just going along with the "mystery" because octane asked you to by whispering in your ear that it "increases his interaction" or whatever influencer bullshit. (you were more focused on his voice than what he was saying tbh 🧍.)
the other legends are sick of you two at this point, and are just about ready to expose the "secret" to get octane to shut up 😭. when i say you guys are always together doing stupid shit i mean ALWAYS!!
MIRAGE // ELLIOTT WITT:
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a flirt wbk. expect to be invited to lots of yacht parties.
mirage is known to have a very welcoming aura, and you noticed this the second you first interacted on the dropship. (anyone wanna take me out? come find me 🤭.)
you guys are on the same team for tdm, and he is almost constantly by your side.
someone sneaks up behind you? hes already sending a decoy their way so you can get the upper hand.
in case you miss? no worries, hes right behind you with pinpoint accuracy. (talk about a great first impression.)
you guys absolutely crushed the opposite team 50-15, and mirage hurriedly rushes over to you the second the match is concluded to invite you to his celebration party that night.
youre more surprised he has the energy to still keep going after such an intensive match, and you barely get the chance to say maybe before hes walking away excitedly.
uh, actually i might sit this one out-" "cool, cool, cool. ill see you tonight!"
lets just say things get… interesting on the mirage a trois 😀.)
you hooked up on the boat okay, youre not the first (and might not be the last either.)
parties werent necessarily your thing, but after elliott had practically won the game for you today, you figured showing up was the least you could do to return the favor. you were honestly just hoping the yacht didnt blow up like youd heard about his other ones doing…
you arrive way later than everyone else in hopes that you arent the first person there, but your current situation is almost just as awkward as everyone assumes you managed to get lost on your way here. (as if you could miss mirages yacht if you tried…) however, you probably did look just as lost as everyone assumed you were while trying to find mirage in the sea of decoys and other party guests.
when you finally stop getting bamboozled and find the real mirage, you try to explain you were only stopping by out of politeness, but hes not having any of it. "what do you mean youre leaving already? weve gotta make up for all the partying time lost while you werent here!" he hands you a drink and leads you to a table with crypto and wattson, who seem to have just had an… important conversation interrupted with your presence.
"if theres anyone you wanna get to know in the games, other than me of course, these are the legends!" youre almost amazed at how mirage chooses to ignore the awkward atmosphere hes created, and manages to smooth it over in record time as well. crypto looks as annoyed as ever, meanwhile wattson attempts her best at a conversation with the group, and you almost wish you never showed up in the first place.
‘almost’ is the key word here, you knew deep down you didnt really have anywhere else to be, and going along with whatever such an attractive legend says was surely better than staying in your dorm room and missing out on a night of fun. which is exactly why when elliott leaned closer to your ear and said something that definitely wasnt pg-friendly, you downed your drink and made quick goodbyes to his friends before leaving to a secluded area of the yacht with the party host himself. 
i think by now the other legends are just waiting for you two to finally announce theres something between you. 
everyone, and i mean everyone seems to know, and i swear rampart is one more flirtatious comment away from exposing your corny asses during the next match.
however, youre hesitant. youre still incredibly new to the games, isnt it odd for things to be moving so fast?
sure, elliott is great, but you cant help but have an anxious feeling in your stomach, and making the mistake of looking at comments online surely isnt helping either.
mirage noticed your shift in behavior immediately, hes been around you more than any of the other legends, and he expects to be the first to hear of whats troubling you (if youre okay with it, of course).
he might not seem like it at first glance, but mirage really is a great listener. despite your first impressions of him making him out to be well… a party-loving flirt, he has so many more layers to him than whats on the surface level.
when he gets serious, hes not cracking his usual jokes, although hes still got his awkward charm. 
"i just… feel like were moving too fast. its only been a month since ive joined the game after all…"
he thinks for a moment before responding calmly, "well i mean, if you wanna take things slower, all you had to do was ask. besides we have all the time in the world! as long as you dont have some secret plan to leave the games or something, than were fine!" you smile at him.
okay, maybe he does still joke a little bit, put i promise its fine in context 😭😭.
can you tell i like crypto (especially jealous crypto) a totally normal amount 😦 totally not inspired by the mcc song by derivakat 🫶
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muniimyg · 8 months
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TO BE (yours) // KNJ
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he'll give in... right?
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oc has always had a crush on her bodyguard, nam joon. when her monthly family dinner goes to shit, she turns to him for comfort. tonight, it was different. tonight, he just might give her exactly what she wants
navi | m. list | ask me !
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pairing: bodyguard nam joon + heiress oc 
au/genre:
bodyguard au
one shot
porn with(out) plot
warnings: oc has some grandma issues, oc is insanely unhinged (oc makes nam joon watch as she pleasures herself), masturbation/fingering (oc makes him hold her hand while she fingers herself), nipple play, blow job (oc chokes), slapping (of face and ass) and riding... name calling (joon calls her a slut, whore, and bitch), cockwarming ?? making out,, yeah idk ! find the rest out for urself ;)
note: happy birthday @joonsjuice LMAO
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar
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“I hate this fucking life!” 
Before you can slam your bedroom door shut, a foot is placed to prevent you from doing so. 
You huff, knowing exactly who is following you.
There was no point putting up a fight. Regardless of what you do, you know exactly how he would handle you. So, you move on. You focus on your feelings and the stress wrapped around it. As you take off your skirt and unbutton your blouse, he makes his way to his regular position.
Nam Joon stands beside the door, feet firmly planted on the ground, his hands placed in front, and his gaze straight ahead. If this was any other bodyguard, their presence would irritate you and ignite your anger even more… But this was Nam Joon. 
It’s different. 
Oddly enough, there's a sense of comfort when he's around. It feels like it's okay for you to be angry and throw a tantrum. He'd cover for you. He'd protect you. He'd deal with you.
Regardless, this is routine.
Once a month, you attend your infamous grandmother’s family dinner. There, you’d share your company’s progress and plans, and receive criticism.
No praise.
No empathy.
No encouragement.
It is never good enough for her. Even though you have a more successful business than your siblings and cousins—it meant nothing To your grandmother, it didn’t matter.
It always better.
To do better.
To be better.
After these horrendous dinners, you’d go home in tears. The pressure she’d put on you is often unnecessary, but you feel it. To your very core, you feel how intense the need to please her is.
Sometimes, you were angry. Often, you were sad.
For comfort, you’d typically contact your family friend, Jung Hoseok for some… Release. Sometimes, it was talking things through. Other times, it included fucking… But those nights were rare.
During those times, Nam Joon would wait outside the door. It made you wonder that night if he liked what he heard… Or if he felt jealous…
If he even gave it a second thought at all.
You see…
You’ve been unhinged since birth. By your grandmother’s orders, she hired a bodyguard service for you. To keep you in check or whatever (as if you’re this wild child that isn’t running the biggest company in your family). To keep you safe. To keep an eye on you. To keep you from doing bad things.
Sucks to suck because the only bad thing you want to do is your bodyguard. 
Thank you, Grandma!
When Nam Joon came into your life, it felt like Christmas. He’s tall, handsome, smart, and funny in his own ways. If anything, he’s perfect for you. Aside it being his job, you really feel like he knows you. Your next moves and even your feelings—he’s good at predicting and protecting them.
It’s like not you could hide your intentions and attraction either. No, you take any and every chance to flirt with him.
Truth be told, you really need him to dick you down.
“Crazy how I’m literally changing in front of you and you would rather look at the wall,” you tease, as you unclip your bra and throw it at his head. 
Nam Joon removes your bra from his head and continues to stay silent. Him ignoring you is something he does when he knows your emotions are high.
Rolling your eyes, you open your closet and grab your pajamas. You chose wisely, of course… You noticed Nam Joon’s eyes linger a little longer when you wear flimsy things. So, that’s exactly what you wear tonight.
A little ditzy floral pyjama set.
The fabric itself is thin and tight, making it easy for your nipples and the curve of your breast to be outlined. The shorts are practically panties… Guess you won’t be needing underwear either, right? 
Once you put on the top, you bend down to take your underwear off. You throw it back, aiming for his head again. Perfectly, it lands just where you want it to.
“Oops! Sorry, I meant to get that in my laundry bin.” You explain, laughing as you put the shorts on. 
You see Nam Joon’s shoulders rise and fall. He sighs, as he takes your underwear off of his head and places it in your laundry bin for you. 
Cutely, you bump into him as you make your way to bed. Nam Joon purses his lips at you, almost feeling the need to choke when he sets his eyes on your pajamas. 
You were doing this on purpose.
He knows it.
Tilting your head at him, you ask, “Do you like it?”
Nam Joon clears his throat as he stands to the side. Gestures at your bed, he ignores your question but replies with; “you’ve had a long day, Ms. ___. Please go to bed.”
“You know what else is long?”
“Ms. ___—”
“Oh, come on!” you whine, as you drop to your knees. “It’s not like this is the first time I’ve asked.”
“It’s also not the first time I’m saying no,” he chuckles. Then, he bends down, grabs you by the waist, and lifts you. 
Your heart begins to race as he carries you.
He’s done this only a couple of times—more because you were having a temper-tantrum and he had to remove you from the environment. There was also this one time when you were crying so much at your grandmother’s dinner table that he swooped in like a knight in shining armour. That was probably the day you felt something for him…
A feeling beyond your wet pussy, that is. 
Nam Joon sets you gently on your bed. As you lay, you reach for his hand. He turns to you and blinks.
“Joon…”
“Did you need something?”
“You.”
He squints his eyes at you.
“Go to sleep, Ms. ___.”
“Awh, come on!” you cry as he leaves your side. You miss your heart fluttering already. “You don’t even have to make me cum—”
With a warning tone, he interrupts you. “Goodnight, Ms. ___.”
Annoyed, you shift around your bed and attempt to make yourself comfortable. Unfortunately for you, all you can think about are your grandmother’s harsh words from tonight's dinner and the silence of your siblings and cousins whose lips did not even twitch to defend you.
Your grandmother’s invasive words begin to consume you. The feeling is… Horrible. It was rough, to say the least. Maybe, instead of distracting yourself… You could use Nam Joon for something else. 
“Do you think my grandma hates me?” you ask with a weary tone. 
Nam Joon reaches over to dim your bedroom lights and takes his time to walk back to his placement. As he does so, he thinks about it. This was also routine of you….
To hit on him, to get sad and look for comfort, and then finally go to sleep. It wasn’t every night—just the family dinner ones. On the regular, it would just be you making one or two flirtatious commentaries and then falling asleep as soon as possible. 
Moments where you look for validation and comfort he thinks these are the purest moments of you. The fact that you’re about to rest, but can’t because you’re reflecting on the things that make you feel uneasy… Well, let’s just say that it’s on the list of reasons why he hasn’t quit his job. Aside from liking his profession, he also likes you. 
There’s never a dull moment. 
“I think she just wants you to be the best.” He answers plainly. “She just doesn’t express it well.”
You sigh. “So that means what I do right now isn’t the best? It’s not good enough? Is that it?”
“No,” Nam Joon shakes his head. “I think she expects more because you are more. The potential she wants from you is real because it lives in you. She’s impatient about seeing it, but business is all about growth and building. Ms. ___, you know you’re amazing, right? You’re perfect. Your grandmother could never hate you even though it may feel like it.”
Snickering, you cross your arms. “Are you just saying that because you’re on her payroll?”
“No,” he assures you. “I’m saying it because it’s the truth. Besides, you’re smart enough to know when I’m lying anyway.”
His words hit you. 
Suddenly feel better. There’s no other way of explaining why. Sometimes, all you really need is a friend… But being friends with Nam Joon?
You hate that. 
“... So, you think I’m amazing?”
Nam Joon doesn’t respond. 
So, you try again.
“If I’m so amazing… Then, why don’t you want me? No one’s here, you know! It’s just you and me. Nothing bad is gonna happen… You don’t need to protect me—”
“Ms. ___—”
“I’ve wanted you for so long… You know it too! Come on, I know you just as well as you know me—“
“Highly doubt that, princess.”
“I want to know you… All of you,” you confess, quickly getting out of bed. You stand in front of him and look up at him. Batting your eyelashes, you try to sound as innocent as possible. “Tell me you don’t want me.”
Nam Joon feels a shiver.
He gulps as you place your hand on his chest, slowly moving it around to feel him. In an even slower motion, you begin to slide your hand down from his chest to his abdomen. He lowers his gaze at you as you give him pleading eyes. Gulping, he watches your hands make their way to his belt. 
Then, he stops you. 
Just as you’re about to unbuckle it, he grabs your wrists and pulls you up. 
“I don’t want you.”
His words cut deep and his tone is harsh. 
Too harsh. 
There’s a look in his eyes that you’re well aware of. In that understanding, you don’t feel so awful anymore. So, you keep your head high. If he wants to play like this, then so be it. 
Let’s play. 
“Good thing I’m smart and I know when you’re lying.” You then place your hand on his cheeks and squish his lips together. Tiptoeing, you place a small kiss on his lips. 
Nam Joon is caught off guard. 
This never happened before! It never went this far…
He thought he was immune to you. In a cliché sense, he didn’t this would happen. He’d be an idiot to not recognize that sexual tension between you two since the very beginning—but he never pictured it like this. 
He never pictured his dreams to come true. 
Just as Nam Joon is about to give in, you pull away. 
It’s then that he hates himself. He wishes he spent more time memorizing the way your lips felt against his. Who knows if you’d ever do this to him again, right? This was a once-in-a-million for him. 
You’re his one. 
“Since you want to stand there and watch… Fine. Stand there and watch.” 
Without saying another word, you twirl his tie in your hand and gentle tug him to follow as you make your way back to your bed. Nam Joon doesn’t really move though. He stays still, only letting his head turn as you let go of his tie. He watches with lustful eyes as you crawl onto your bed. Positioning yourself, you lean your back against your headboard and sit up in a way where you can comfortably plant your feet. Nam Joon’s eyes almost fall out of his head the second you suck on your fingers, open your legs, and shove your lubed fingers inside your shorts. 
Nam Joon feels stuck.
He should look away, right? For some reason, he can’t. He has looked the other way every time you changed or tried to kiss him… Tonight, was different.
Tonight, he was weak. 
As you let out a breathy moan, you begin to rub yourself. 
Feeling the way your soft pussy is against your fingers, you whimper at the thought of Nam Joon caving and taking his place in between your legs. You apply some pressure and rub circles on your clit. Doing this begins slowly, but as you stare at Nam Joon in his suit, you can’t help but feel sensations in your pelvis. You rub yourself faster, feeling your legs tighten as you do so. 
You rub yourself for what feels like a good 5 minutes. Noticing how quiet it suddenly became and how he’s not making any comments, you take this opportunity to tease him. 
With a small voice, you ask, “N-Nam Joon… A-are y-you watching?”
He doesn’t respond. 
“Can y-you look at me, p-please?” you stutter through the sensation. “I’m touching my pussy for you… So you have to be watching, okay? This is for you.” 
Expecting silence, Nam Joon surprises you with his words. 
“I’m watching, princess.”
You feel a relief. 
In an even softer tone, you whine, “Good. D-do you like it? Do you like what you see? Am I doing it right?”
“Yeah,” he confesses. “Doing so good, princess. Don’t stop.”
Biting your lip, you spread your legs out even more. As you rub yourself, you squirm from the feeling of this not being enough. 
Meanwhile, Nam Joon feels like he’s stuck in a trance. He can’t keep his eyes off of you as you pleasure yourself. He wishes to do it for you… But not yet. A part of him is curious to see how far you can push yourself. How much can you take? How far will you go? He wants to know when he’s needed… He wants to wait it out and let you have this. 
“My pussy is leaking through my shorts… Is it pretty?”
Nam Joon’s breath hitches. “Yeah. It’s pretty.”
“I’m glad you think so… I’m thinking of you. You made this mess.”
The truth is, he’s afraid when you give this to him… He won’t be able to quit. He’ll be selfish. He’ll have you any way he wants and ignore what you want. So, this is him being considerate. This is him being patient. This is him letting you have your fun. 
“Should I stick my fingers inside?” 
He utters a hiss... Yet, with a soft tone, he encourages you, “Do what you want.”
“I need help.”
Nam Joon huffs. “You can do it yourself. If you can start this, you can finish.”
You groan, throwing your head back. “A-arghh, fine… Can you hold my hand though?”
He raises a brow. 
But he also picks up his feet and makes his way to you. 
He stands on the side of your bed and offers you his hand. Gladly, you take it. With your other hand, you split your folds open. Tugging on his hand, you pout. 
“Can you spit on it? I would do it but… Your spit would help me cum faster.” 
Too stunned to speak, Nam Joon sucks his inner cheek, runs his tongue along his teeth, and gathers spit from the back of his throat. He then leans over and—
“Mhmm,” you moan, massaging his spit in your pussy. “Fuck, that got me so horny. Are you horny?”
Nam Joon glares at you. 
“Hurry up and cum,” he hisses. “ I’m supposed to be watching—”
“You are, aren’t you?”
Nam Joon gets the feeling you’re alluding to something completely different from his job. It makes him sick to his stomach that he’s fucking into it. God, did you have to be this compelling? All he can do is push you away… At least, try to. 
“This is getting ridiculous.”
You let a small laugh escape your lips. “Are you serious?”
He shrugs. 
“Nam Joon, you’re holding my hand, spitting on my pussy, and about to watch me finger myself… Me asking you if you’re horny is where you’re deciding this is ridiculous—”
“___, just fucking cum already.”
Instantly, you roll your eyes at him. 
The attitude.
He needs his dick sucked or something.
In response, you wiggle your fingers at him. He gives you a blank expression and turns away for a moment. You take that as your sign to start. With one finger, you insert it inside you. Your pussy clenches and your reaction extends to you squeezing Nam Joon’s hand. As you finger yourself, you try to focus on hitting your climax. 
It’s much more frustrating than it is easy. The man whose cock you desperately want inside of you is just fucking standing there while your fingers do you no justice. 
So, in the silence of your dimly lit bedroom, you shut your eyes and imagine him more intensely. You imagine Nam Joon’s fingers inside you. You imagine how his lips would feel against your skin. How his soft tongue would feel like giving your clit kitten licks. You moan at the very thought, and get excited over the fact that he’s actually here. Even though he’s not touching you the way you want right now, at least he was here. 
He was watching.
Listening to every whimper.
Every breathy utter of his name. 
Then, you feel the sensation in between your legs take over. You pump your fingers faster and lazily begin to rub yourself to finish off. You squirm, murmuring his name in between breaths.
Nam Joon can’t stop watching the way your pussy spreads and how tiny your fingers are. Every time you squeeze his hand, his eyes dart to the way your pussy gets more swollen. On top of that, he loves the way your chest rises. Your nipples are so fucking hard right now. 
He’d kill to lick them. 
To bite them. 
To suck on them. 
Fuck it.
Maybe he should fold. 
So lost in thought, he misses it. In a blink of an eye, you cum and let out a lewd moan. As you catch your breath, you let go of his hand and massage your pussy. 
“Are you finished?” Nam Joon asks. 
You let out a dramatic sigh. “Yeah, I guess. It was fun but honestly? I’m still horny.”
“Not good enough?” 
“You tell me,” you grab his hand and tug him to your pussy.
He didn’t expect it.
It’s too late for him. By the time he registered what you were doing, his fingers were already inbetween your folds. You hold his wrist and control the way he touches you. Dragging his hands up and down, you feel tingles begin again. 
“See? I came, right?”
“Y-yeah,” Nam Joon stutters for the first time tonight. “So wet.”
You scoff. “I usually cum more than this… This is so weird! I don’t get what I did wrong. I thought of you as usual—”
“Princess…” He takes his hand away, signaling you that you’re crossing the line. Shrugging, you offer him an innocent look. “Don’t.”
“Taste me,” you suggest. “If you don’t like the way I taste then you can go back to your little spot over there and do whatever you want. You can keep listening and watching me pleasure myself… But just know, I won’t cum for a long time. I’m horny as fuck but I just can’t get off all by myself! It’s too hard… Deal?”
“Deal? You’re insane,” he grumbles. “Do you hear yourself?”
“I do…” you assure him. “Do you hear me? Because it doesn’t have to be like that. You can stand over there—hey, I’ll even let you jerk off—or you can do it yourself. Make me cum. Fuck me as hard as you can. Take what you want. Your choice.” 
Nam Joon gulps as you sit up and wrap your arms around his neck. Tilting your head at him, you look into his eyes and wait for his decision. 
Nam Joon waits for a second too long. 
Your gaze softens as you take his silence as a no. That’s okay. You can just keep touching yourself and drag it out longer. It’d be fun for you anyway… This was his loss. 
As you pull away, just as you’re about to lay down, Nam Joon cups your cheeks and crashes his lips against yours. He kisses you deep, slipping his tongue in. You waste no time, finding his tongue and sucking on it as he pull away for air. You smile against his kiss, and continue to make out with him. His hands travel from your cheeks to your breast and holy shit.
You’re so fucking happy.
He palms your breasts and pays special attention to your nipples. They’re so hard and sensitive. He knows it. So, he takes his time.
First, he pitches them lightly. You gasp and he laughs into the kiss. Mumbling, “sorry, sorry… my bad, princess,” into your kiss. He runs his thumb over your nipples, stimulating your drive evn more. He then twists them and earns another gasp from you. This time, a moan follows. Next, he cups your entire breast with his hands and squeezes them. Pulling away from the kiss, he scrunches your top over your breasts and dives in. 
He licks your nipples, slaps your breasts, and bites them. 
God, when he bites them—
“O-okay, okay,” you stop him, “gonna need you to start fucking me or else I’m gonna cum with you just doing this.”
“Like me that much?” he teases.
You glare at him. “Might lose interest after seeing your dick though.”
With that, Nam Joon folds. 
He towers over you, as your hands instantly make their way to unbutton his shirt. Midway through, he kisses you. It’s deep and desperate—like he has wanted this for so long too. 
When his shirt is off, you move on to unbuckle his belt. You do it as quickly as possible, ever so happy to finally be able to see his length. Taking his pants off, he tosses them aside.
You can’t believe it. 
His cock is so perfect. 
It’s chiseled like it’s meant to be art. 
“Okay, y-yeah,” you choke. “I’m interested.”
Before he can even respond, Nam Joon throws his head back from the pleasure of you sucking his dick. Holy shit, you just went for it. 
As your mouth wraps around his tip, you take in how he tastes. The precum that sat in the crease of his tip was a little salty. He tastes even better the more you suck. His cock in your mouth is so big. It’s full, girthy, and long. Without needing to try, his length hits the back of your throat multiple times. With teary eyes, you gag, choke, and slobber all of his fat cock. 
Like a fucking dog. 
Like a fucking bitch. 
Like his fucking whore. 
Nam Joon loves the sight. 
He takes a handful of your hair and fucks himself deeper in your pretty mouth. This time, when his cock hits the back of your throat, he holds you still. You breathe in through your nose, sucking as much of him as you can. When you let out an intense gasp for air, he pulls away and feels his stomach twist as strings of your saliva drip. 
Nam Joon repositions you.
He lays down on his back and places you on top of him. There, you let your hands roam his chest as he helps you take your shorts off. His pecks are large and rock-hard. You love the way they feel and as he takes heavy breaths in, you note the way his abs flex.
It’s such a beautiful sight. 
“This is what you wanted, right?” Nam Joon scoffs, as he reaches for his dick. He pumps himself lazily before placing it at your entrance. “Want me so bad? Let’s see how much. Do you think you can last bouncing on my cock? You barely lasted 10 minutes fingering yourself. You were thinking about me too, right? Holding my hand and shit? Have you always been a fucking whore?”
You pout, nodding. “Yeah. I am such a fucking whore for you… I’ve been so patient. Did I wait well?”
Without warning, Nam Joon slaps you in the face. 
“This is about me,” he growls. “You want me. You have me. You get to fuck me. Get that? You waited, and you got the prize. Me. Shut the fuck up and do your fucking job, slut. I’ll praise you when I want. Don’t ask for it. Understand?”
You nod. 
He slaps your face again.
“Answer me, bitch.”
You bite your bottom lip. “I understand.”
“Good,” Nam Joon says, satisfied. “Whenever you’re ready…”
You purse your lips, asking for one more kiss. He kisses you, and as he does so, you take his cock and try to put it in. For some reason, perhaps because of how wet you are, his cock keeps slipping or your hole is just too fucking small for him. When he realizes what’s going on, he sits up a little. 
In a low tone, he offers, “Here, I’ll help you put it in.”
You look at him as he guides it in. You watch how soft his gaze turns the minute you sink into his member. You swear he feels the butterflies too. As you adjust to his size, you begin to move a little. Rolling your hips, you also add a little bounce. For stability, you place your hands on his chest. 
“That’s it,” he moans, “my slut is such a good girl.”
“Mhmm,” you breathe, “s-so good. You fill me up so good, Joon.”
As you ride him, you begin to feel more and more desperate for his cock to fuck you. This entire time, you had been doing all the work and goddamn it’s fucking exhausting. You slam your pussy onto his dick visciously, picking up the pace and trying to catch your orgasm—but you get so fucking tired.
It’s so annoying. 
“I—” you cry, “a-agghhh!”
“I got you.”
Suddenly, Nam Joon wraps his arms around your body and holds you tight. It’s like a hug, but as he does it, he drills his fucking cock into you. Like never before, you feel his length reach spots you missed as you rode him. Nam Joon drills like there’s no tomorrow. It’s so rough and intense, he slaps your ass while he’s at it. You’re constantly moaning, and at this point—
“You like it like this, little slut? Such a fucking whore for wanting it like this… Gonna take my cum? Gonna get so fucked up you can’t walk tomorrow?”
“Mhmmm,” you sob. “Yes, I want it like this. J-just like that! Fuck yes, yes, yes!”
“You think about this, huh? Always imagining how it’d be like for me to fuck you? Are you happy now? Are you fucking happy? Greedy little bitch always gets what she wants, huh?”
“So happy,” you gasp. “I love your cock. You’re so good to me, Joon.” 
Something inside him flips. He loves the way you say his name. He loves the way this feels and is even more in love with the way that it’s with you. With that being said…
He fucks you harder.
Rough, sloppy, messy. 
It’s so fucking good that you grip onto his hair and let out a few sobs. You murmur his name into his ear and your pussy clenches every time he kisses you. You bury your face in the crook of his neck and concentrate on how blissful this all is. After a few moments—
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god—” 
You cum. 
But it doesn’t stop there. 
Even though you came, he didn’t. 
Nam Joon continues to fuck you through your orgasm as he reaches his. Feeling the sensation, he curls his toes and digs his cock deep into you as he releases. Nam Joon stuffs his cum inside you, and pumps in and out a few more times. 
Then, he leaves it inside. 
As his cum spills, he keeps his cock inside you. Too tired to pull out, but also too in his head. He wants this to last longer than it has. He wants it again if possible… But that’s asking for too much. He knows it. 
Without exchanging any words, you lift your face and lean in. You and Nam Joon make out, nice and slow. It’s so opposite from what you two were just doing… But it was nice. You even play with his hair as you two kiss. He likes it. You know he does because he smirks against your lips. 
When you pull away, it’s like a wave of emotions hit Nam Joon. 
What the fuck did he just do?
He isn’t sure what to say or to do… All he knows is that it was good. It was fun. He had wanted this moment for a while too. Is that something he should regret? Getting what he has wanted and waited for? He doesn’t know. 
As you two lay beside one another, you reach for him and curl into his embrace. Quickly, you fall asleep. The entire thing tired you out. Nam Joon contemplates if he should get up and resume to his usual service… Or should he just lay here? Be with you? 
Was that an option?
Either way, he knows one things for sure…
He’d be here in the morning. 
To protect you.
To fuck you.
To be yours.
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julysrainn · 4 months
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RIIIING! RIIING!
There goes your alarm, you were working late last night. Jake was at home. Asleep when you returned. You remember going straight to bed, you didnt even bother changing.
You and Jake have been living together for 5 months now.
You cannot believe you're engaged to this, greenest flag of guy.
But last night, you were upset. Upset because he didn't wait for you. He ate and slept alone. Jake has always been a real good cook. He cooks often. He likes to call it cooking dates with you. You remember you cannot blame him, cause you told him to eat and sleep. When you returned, he was lying on the bed with an Agatha Christie novel in his hands. The guy has been learning English for you...
You took the book from his hands and set it aside on the bedside table and put the covers on him so he wouldnt feel cold.
"He looks like a snack while sleeping" you murmur to yourself.
You sit up, look beside you, Jake isnt there. He has a morning routine. He goes to run in the morning, lifts weights, takes baths.
If you're lucky you get to see him right after his shower, in nothing but his Towel.
"Sigh, he must have gone for his workout..."
Clunk Clunk Clunk
You hear that sound as you freshen up. Its coming from the kitchen.
You grab the lamp on the bedside table, just as a protection weapon against the intruder.
Peeking from the kitchen door, you see the beautifully carved back of Jake, its got those sexy tattooes.
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Jake's making his protien shake.
Somehow he senses you behind him.
"Huh? You you're awake? Hey, whats that in your hands?"
He asks.
You blush, "No- nothing" you hide the lamp behind your back.
"Aahahaha!" He laughs as he steps towards you.
He's wearing an apron in the front saying "Korea's Wheatcake" the one that you gifted him.
He grabs your face, pins you on the wall and kisses you.
Your heart beats hundred miles an hour, your body gets warm.
Damn it! You think to yourself, again he blew me off the ground.
"You're gonna need more than a lamp to bring me down."
"Uh huh" you reply looking at his soft baby face.
"Eat up, I cooked for you, your favourite pancakes." He says.
"It must've been a long night yesterday. Lemme spoil you a bit."
That disappointment you were having last night melts away into warm comfort...
You realise how lucky you're.
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amethystina · 2 months
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The Right Set of Circumstances
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Fandom/Pairing: Mad Dog - Choi Kang Woo/Kim Min Joon
Length: 6 chapters + 1 bonus chapter (~ 57 000 words)
Rating/Warnings: T / Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Themes, Angst, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Rejection, Unrequited Love (for a little while), Jealousy, Minor Injuries
Additional Tags: Happy Ending, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Protective Choi Kang Woo, Idiots In Love
Summary: When Kang Woo is released from prison, he has very few expectations. His main goal is to reconnect with his team and get back to work, eager to continue helping people. The months he has spent away have given Kang Woo ample time to sort through his thoughts and the lingering survivor's guilt, and while the grief over losing Mi Sook and Joo Won will never fade, he's willing to make another attempt at living. It's a road he knows won't be easy, but one he intends to traverse nonetheless.
But having his team helps. Min Joon, in particular, seems determined to remind Kang Woo that there are still things worth living for. He keeps showing up at Kang Woo's apartment — often under the pretense of cooking food — and, before Kang Woo knows it, Min Joon has become a fixture in his new life. It's as disorienting as it is delightful.
And Kang Woo welcomes it — revels in it, even — until one fateful night when everything changes.
Min Joon kisses him.
And, just like that, everything Kang Woo thought he knew gets turned on its head.
GO HERE TO READ
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cookiesuga55 · 9 months
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🧁
Namjoon has a huge round gut that bulges up into a perfect table for his takeout when he's lazily lounging in his recliner and eating dinner.
His pudgy hands mindlessly rub at the crest, feeling the thick swell of firm, compressed fat sitting just below a whipped jiggly layer of pudge, like his gut is a dense cake coated with a generous slathering of frosting.
Namjoon crunches into another greasy bite as he digs his fingertips into the supple lining of his gut. He needs to push in hard to get beyond the buttery layer of fluff and reach the hard, spongy firmness that sits heavily inside of him.
Namjoon pats his gut proudly after a fat belch, enjoying the weight that leaves his belly permanently distended.
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marsbar17 · 8 months
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Hello! Can you do anything for crypto, even if it's just general dating headcannons. I need ANYTHING.
Sorry it took me a while to respond, studying for exams has been really time consuming. I hope you enjoy!
Crypto x Reader Headcannons
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• Crypto is a very gentle lover, he tries his best to give you the attention you need even if a lot of his time is spent on his computers
• His love languages are definitely quality time and physical affection
• He likes to just be in your presence, whether that's watching a movie together, or simply just being in the same room doing completely different things, as long as you're there he's happy
• When he's typing away on his computers he often let's you sit in his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and cuddling into his neck
• He also likes having a hand on you everywhere you go, a hand on your thigh while he or you are driving, a hand on your lower back while out in public, a hand lacing fingers between yours while you walk, all of it
• He's not possessive but he is protective
• He just likes knowing that you're safe
• He's not scared of other people hitting on you, he knows you're loyal, but he's afraid that others will hurt you or take advantage of you
• But, and I feel like I gotta say this again, He's not possessive about it
• You're allowed to do whatever the fuck you want, he just likes knowing about it
• Dates with Crypto are mostly just ordering take out and cuddling on the couch, but occasionally he will go all out and take you to a fancy ass restaurant where you have to dress up all formal and shit
• He also likes to take you on fun little dates like mini golf or laser tag
• I feel like he spoils you, he's got the money and we all know he barely uses any of it on himself
• Anything you mention wanting or even just liking he'll be like "I can buy it for you," wallet already in his hands ready to pay
• He defines calls you jagiya, but in public it's just your name because he's embarrassed about it
• Whatever nickname you use for him he blushes, could be something like "my sugar cube" and he'd blush, he just likes being called pet names
Warning these next ones are a bit spicy, not straight smut but a bit spicy
• This man is so submissive both sexually and just in general, most of the time he takes the lead but the second you tell him to do something he's like "yes of course" and does it
• He tries to act dominant but the second you reach out and touch him he's melting into a puddle cuz he's so flustered
• He's very sensitive on his waist and around where his skin and the metal of his modifications meet
• Pay attention to those areas and he'll be a whining mess :)
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Thank you for reading and requesting! Just a reminder it takes like 30 seconds to request something and it really helps me get inspired to write. Also liking and reblogging take even less time and help support me as a creator so just do it cmon you know you wanna :)
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pttwice · 4 months
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little! mina who likes to play dress up with momo and put her in silly outfits. momo likes wearing her usual outfits, but when it comes to mina, she doesn’t mind the odd combinations the little puts her in.
momo’s always very patient as mina goes through her closet, picking out different shirts, pants, and accessories.
99% of the time, nothing matches but that’s okay! if mina likes it and wants to wear it or have momo wear it, then that’s all that matters.
once, mina picked out one of momo’s barbie shirts, a green skirt, and purple heart socks. she also picked out a purple necklace and orange clip-on earrings.
it was an… interesting combination, but mina was very proud of the outfit she made for her momo. “mo unnie!” mina smiled and excitedly bounced as she pointed to the outfit laid out on momo’s bed.
“oh wow. is that for me, angel?” momo asked and let out a soft giggle when mina excitedly nodded. she picked up the barbie shirt and held it up for momo to take.
mina already had on her outfit which was a yellow shirt with a penguin on the back (she was wearing it backwards but momo didn’t want to spoil her fun), a pink skirt, and light orange socks. she didn’t have any jewelery because she claimed it was too itchy to wear.
i’m feeling much better today! still a little icky, but i think i’ll be able to post a full fic as well :) thank you for the well wishes 💚💚💚
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