#Jesus body

[northemoonduringthenight]

Catholic religion: Latin Mass

[sweetmapple]

Viktor and Jinx team-up would be goated, but alternatively...

[dietcokeadicction]

Everyone likes weird girls until the girl is awkward, repulsed by sex, has some form of an eating disorder and has like 431 obsessions with the most random things

[nevertheless-moving]

thinking fondly of that star wars body swap au where 3/4 of the protagonists are experiencing relatively standard body swap shenanigans: bewildering friends and confounding authority figures, learning about each other and themselves, going outside their comfort zones. Meanwhile Cody’s just kindof writhing in eldritch horror inside of Anakin’s force-stitched-together-meatsuit.

Anakin (as Padme): “Man I can’t believe that Senator actually called me sweetheart, I can’t believe how patronizing these men are.”

Cody (as Anakin): [Scratching at his arm] “Yeah, that’s great. Uh, hey, quick question—why does my shadow keep turning into a death head mask?”

Anakin: “Huh? Oh, hey! Would you like at that! I haven’t looked at my shadow in years! It’s—it’s totally normal! I mean except for how it’s Padme—”

Cody: “This is—your shadow just always—does it ever...I mean when you’re around other people”

Anakin: [sucks in his breath through his teeth] “Did it kill someone else’s shadow? I hate when that happens”

Cody: [scratches arm harder, eyelid twitching] “This...happens often? What—why—”

Anakin: “I try not to think about it, ha! Anyway, have you tried smoothies since—[voice fades into high pitched static noise, distant sound of respirator breathing]

Cody: [scratches arm harder] (muttering under his breath): “don’t think about it. don’t think about it.”

Obi-Wan (as Cody): “There you two are—oh Anakin—I mean Cody, you’re bleeding! What happened?”

Cody: “I...misjudged the strength of the mech arm.”

Anakin: [gives thumbs up]

[tomicscomics]

10/04/2024

Biblically accurate married couple.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In the Bible story being read, Jesus is asked by some Pharisees if a man can divorce his wife for any reason. Jesus says that, if the marriage is lawful, it binds the couple together as one, and what God has joined together, no man can separate. 2. In this cartoon, Fr. Mark reads this passage to his Sunday school class while explaining the sacrament of marriage. The girl with the bow swoons over the proper, spiritual weight of the words as she imagines a typical wedding scene. Conversely, the words strike horror into the heart of Agnes, the girl in the green sweater, who has a history of mishearing or misinterpreting Bible stories. In this case, she's heard Jesus's figurative description of marriage -- "The two shall become one flesh." -- and imagined it literally, with a husband and wife fused together into a single fleshy pile. 3. I drew the amalgamated-flesh-pile with smiles and googly-eyes to reduce the chaos-god-body-horror implicit in its conception. I'm sure these efforts were satisfactory.

[anoodleyqueer]

i should put my almost 14 years of christian education to good use (death note fanfic)

[redlettermediathings]

[leah2eroes]

anyway. have some tasteful lazy bed nudes. courtesy of my incredible laptop webcam :p

[dietcokeadicction]

[fluffydeoxys]

wimbling out !!!!

[oodlyenough]

i posted this on twitter in august 2022

[jesus-holding-your-fave]

John Ward from Faith The Unholy Trinity

Today, Jesus is holding:

Father John Ward from Faith the Unholy Trinity

[babyangelsky]

This is what it feels like to have a full meal after two and a half months of nothing but crumbs.

And Ozone leaning back and watching his man strip for him and looking like he wanted to devour him with his eyes is the realest most relatable thing he's ever done.

[sweetmapple]

Style practice no.1 Pokémon

[wazzappp]

THIS IS RAPIDLY GROWING FROM A LITTLE ‘oh hey wouldn’t it be fun if…’ INTO A FULLY FLEGED AU

[tomicscomics]

08/02/2024

The materialist vs. religious zitgeist.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, Jesus multiplies a little bread and fish to feed a huge crowd. When the crowd continues following Him, Jesus notices that they aren't following because they think His miracles confirm that He was sent by God. Instead, they're just following Him because His most recent miracle made them some tasty food. They're only in it for the material benefits of the miracles, not the message behind them. 2. In this cartoon, a man declares that he's going to become a follower of Jesus, and only for the purest intentions, though it's pretty clear that he's a little more interested in the wine, food, water-walking, and healthcare options that following the Miracle-Man with a Plan would offer. 3. As we all know from oral tradition, when Jesus is asked to heal the man's weird toe zit, He does so. However instead of the zit disappearing, the man horrifyingly shrivels into nothing, screaming wretchedly the whole time. Only his zit remains in the end. It just goes to show that you never know where your soul is in your body at any given time. At that moment, the man's soul happened to be coursing through his zit, so by heavenly technicality, HE was the growth to be eradicated.