#Jesse Coste: Born a Problem

[bichobolitach]

Some people may think Jesse fences because Robert wanted him to, but I believe Robert had NO CHOICE but to start coaching that kid because this would just keep happening

[daisymylove]

I sincerely don't know if Im alone on this one, so I want to know what yall think. Again, I may get some heat for this, but it’s my honest opinion.

Something I noticed in my reread is that I grew a slight dislike for lucie in chot, and as someone who had always previously rooted for her, I’m currently annoyed at myself.The thing is, Lucie IS a very privileged and sheltered girl.She was born into a wealthy, loving family and, because of her apparent “normalcy”, never suffered the brunt of the shadowhunter prejudice like Tessa and James.

None of this is a problem in itself, but my point here is that there were always other people protecting, thinking and worrying for her, so I think not only she never realized how precarious her family’s position actually was, but also has no true understanding of consequences and how the “real world” works.She knew in some level that what she was doing regarding jesse was dangerous, but was never truly afraid of repercussions, bc unconsciously she knows there will be someone to catch her . And while I do like to see a character become aware of its own privileges along the narrative, there’s no growing here.She finished the book without ever realizing it, because everything was just SO easy and convenient, and that bothers me greatly.

In all fairness, how could she? she does whatever she wants with no consequences.

I feel so conflicted bc while I actually cheered when she brought jesse back in choi, and always shipped them, I find the outcome of her actions to be low-key infuriating.Lucie wasn’t willing to give Jesse up, but also never seriously considered giving up her comfortable life to start over with him somewhere.That ludicrous and set to fail jeremy blackthorn plan wasn’t even her idea, it was the people around her finding a way to fix her “mistakes” to save all of their asses from jail.

Lucie could’ve had her marks stripped, her father could’ve lost the institute, it could’ve costed Tessa’s life.Those guys had been waiting 25 years for the slightest opportunity to pounce on her, does anyone seriously believe they wouldn’t all automatically think the warlock mother was involved? How come there was some major necromancy going on under her roof and she had no idea?  we know she didnt, but still   All of this was severely downplayed and there was little to no conflict regarding it, and anyone can correct me if im wrong, but none of that ever dawned on lucie.She never fully thought about how her family would be implicated, and nobody brought that up to her.Zero confict just chill, I guess this is our life now .Dont get me wrong, I dont want that shitstorm to actually happen,I just wanted her to become AWARE of it

 she literally brought home this complete stranger to them all (we know jesse, the characters dont) that was 8 years her senior (it doesnt matter his body was frozen for 7 years, mentally jesse is 24), Tatiana’s son, and had been dead up until last tuesday, but nobody save perhaps jessamine, and god it pains me to agree with jessamine had a problem with that.Instant acceptance, no resistance, no objections at all.All it would take for that lie to crumble would be ONE trial by the sword at any point of their lives and everybody was as chill as chicken joe from surfs up

Her fight with Cordelia pissed me off too. Lucie meddled on something she had no right and no knowledge of,and demanded things of Cordelia without even being willing to hear her out. ”oh the poor thing is suffering so much bc of you, why can’t you just take him back?” GIRL, FOR ALL SHE KNOWS, UNTIL A WEEK AGO, HOME BOY WAS SWEARING UNDYING LOVE AND BURNING DOWN MANORS FOR GRACE BLACKTHORN. 

WE know poor james was ensorcelled and fighting it, but what was cordelia supposed to think of it? How dare she assume that Cordelia “took advantage of James going to Cornwal to run away with matthew”? 

The demon of secrets in edom scene was plain ridiculous.”yo I had a childhood crush on your brother, sorry for never telling you, I was embarrassed” is not a big deal.The fact that they needed demonic intervention for THAT so late in the book baffles me

While I do think most characters were severely nerfed on this book and behaved ooc on several occasions (swear to god I have some mild ptsd from all the times cordelia ran and did unhinged things) , my conclusion about Lucie’s arc is that she took her good life for granted, endangered her entire family, didnt grow from the experience, but still got everything she wanted with no consequences or sacrifices.She lost a cousin along the way, but who cares about that guy? what was his name again? Its my understanding that Lucie never even faced a trial.Thats unrealistic and bad writing, if you ask me.When I think it over, the word that comes to me is...spoiled.

And dont get me started on the fact that she found out Malcom was planning on doing full blown necromancy and didnt do anything about it.How that had no repercussions AT ALL still blows my mind.

 The worst part for me is that I genuinely believe Lucie deserved better you know? 

If lucie and cordelia hadnt been allowed to become parabatai, and jesse had received some other minor yet life changing punishment, and we had seen a trial scene I would’ve been satisfied, because at least it wouldn’t have been nothing.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Judd Legum and Tesnim Zekeria at Popular Information:

In the 2024 presidential election, one of the central attacks that Trump and his political allies are levying against Biden is that Biden is responsible for a "migrant crime" wave. The argument was summarized by Trump in a March 22 video:

[[A] real bloodbath is occurring right now under crooked Joe. It’s Biden’s Border Bloodbath. There’s never been anything like that. Every day, Joe Biden is setting loose thousands of unvetted, unscreened, military-age men into the United States from parts unknown… We had the safest border in history. Now we have the worst border probably in the history of the world. Every day innocent citizens are being killed, stabbed, shot, raped, and murdered because of Biden migrant crime. It’s a new word, a new term. It’s migrant crime, but we call it Biden migrant crime cause he’s responsible for it 100%... When I’m your president, we’re going to end this disgrace, and we’re going to stop Biden’s Border Bloodbath. It is a bloodbath indeed, and we’re going to get it stopped.]

The Republican National Committee (RNC) has launched a website dedicated to the issue, BidenBloodbath.com. "History will remember Biden for his destruction, chaos, and failure. Lives of everyday Americans have been shattered as a direct result of Biden’s open border policies — and he doesn’t care," the RNC claims on the homepage. "We have to stand up and stop Biden before he destroys our nation. The cost of doing nothing is measured in the lives lost to the… crime wave washing across America."

This message has been amplified by the right-wing media. Fox News' Jesse Watters, who hosts the network's top-rated primetime show, offered this commentary on April 12:

[Migrant crime is quickly becoming one of the largest issues affecting the American people. Communities all across the United States are being terrorized by violent illegals, while Biden rolls out the red carpet for them with his open border policies, but Donald Trump is pledging to take care of the problem and keep our citizens safe when Republicans get back in power]

There are violent crimes committed by undocumented migrants, which are traumatic for the victims, their families, and their communities. That is why the accusation that Biden is responsible for a surge in violent crime by undocumented migrants is so politically potent. There are disturbing anecdotes of crimes that make powerful fodder for attacks during a political campaign. People, understandably, want to feel safe.  But is there evidence that, since Biden took office, there has been a surge in violent crime by undocumented migrants? 

[...]

The national crime decline

If there is no migrant crime wave at the border, perhaps it will show up in other areas of the country. The data does not support that claim either.  Nationwide, homicide and violent crime dramatically declined in 2023. According to the latest FBI’s Quarterly Uniform Crime report, which was released in March, homicides were down 13% in 2023 compared to 2022. Meanwhile, violent crime and property crime dipped 6% and 4% respectively. This data is preliminary and based on reports submitted by 15,199 of 19,152 law enforcement agencies across the country, reflecting “about 82% of the U.S. population.” (The FBI will release a more complete analysis for 2023 in the fall.) 

[...] The fact that we are not seeing evidence of a migrant crime surge is consistent with historical data that shows migrants, even undocumented migrants, are less likely to commit crimes than native-born Americans. A peer-reviewed 2020 study, which used data from the Texas Department of Public Safety from 2012 to 2018, "found a lower felony arrest rate for immigrants in the U.S. illegally compared to legal immigrants and native-born U.S. citizens and no evidence of increasing criminality among immigrants." An upcoming study by a researcher at the libertarian Cato Institute similarly found that "undocumented migrants in Texas were about 26% less likely to be convicted of homicide than native-born Americans over the decade of 2013-22." It appears, however, that Republican messaging around the issue is having an impact. Despite the data, most people believe crime is up. A Gallup poll in November 2023 found that 77% of Americans “believe there is more crime in the U.S. than a year ago.” 

Popular Information debunks the right-wing myth of a "migrant crime" wave. Such fact-free propaganda has been spewed out by the likes of Donald Trump and other conservative media outlets.

[greywoodrpg]

𝕛𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕖 𝕣𝕙𝕖𝕥𝕥 𝕔𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕟

he was born thirty-five years ago, is a human and lives in white oaks as a salvage operator. he looks an awful lot like michael vlamis.

"Now it's all residue, you're just a memory I wake up to I'm haunted by the ghost of you."

tw: dysfunctional family, alcoholism, child neglect, abandonment

There's nothing too special or remarkable to anyone's story, because they all have some trials and tribulations... they all have their ups and downs. Just depends when you drop in. Jesse Cowen's story is no different. It's certainly shaped him into the man he is today, though to say if he's a good or bad man is still up for debate. Like mentioned before, it depends when you drop in. If one is hard-pressed to label him anything, it might be some muddied middle-of-the-road conundrum- one you're not sure if you can or can't trust, let alone count on. You'd be better off flipping a coin to decide. No, of course he wasn't always so confusing and walled off. Maybe if his parents had bothered to care a little bit more, the man might have better guidance and discipline to him. Instead, his old man cared more to haggle about which curse word was best in a situation and insisted he didn't take crap from anyone, even if it cost him another job. His mom was just another trapped woman who got herself knocked up with the wrong man she couldn't get out from under, and it was hit or miss whether she'd look upon her children with a tender eye. Their home was rife with that stale, cigarette-and-vodka stench, and it was a good day if empty containers actually made it into the bin. Neither of them were really meant to be parents and everyone knew it, too... But that was their problem. At least he had his sister. Well, had his sister, yeah. His elder by just a few years, she was better mother to Jesse than his mom ever had been, which wasn't fair to either of them. She made sure he was inside by the time the streetlights came on. She made sure he went to bed with something in his stomach. She made sure he at least made some effort with his schoolwork. They would be thick as thieves one moment, and resentful of each other the next. Sometimes it was nice to have each other- sometimes, it sucked because you only had each other. Mom gave up at some point- just up and decided she deserved better, wanted more for herself, and that didn't include any of them. And dad... Well, they all knew he wouldn't hold up alone with two kids. He tried to dump them on the grandparents, and they weren't in any shape to even help themselves at their elderly years. Any semblance of structure broke down and both struggled with the knowledge nobody wanted them. Nothing but a couple of troublemakers, right, that landed themselves where people gossiped they would. Then one day, even she was gone. The circumstances of that, Jesse still doesn't know. Any hope in him, says she was taken. In the deep dark places he doesn't talk about, he knows she left too. He saw her with that strange person that was far more special than either of them would ever be, and she didn't look forced to go at all. But, call it what you will, Jesse refused she would just leave him behind. They took her, and he would find where, one day. He's been chasing her every day since. Greywood, he heard, was the next place to look.

“what power did he attain when settling in greywood?”

Intuitive aptitude- Jesse has always been one of those people prone to self-sabotage behavior. His work would be right, but the answer wrong. A smart guy, if he'd only let himself be. One of those frustrating idiots that intentionally stunts whatever growth you know he is capable of, because screw you and whatever you think he can and should do. That gift, if one can call it so, only came into sharper focus when he crossed into Greywood's territory. Before, he could figure his way through something probably, if he actually put his mind to it. Here, it's almost automatic, almost too easy, if he really wanted it to be. Problem is, he doesn't always care to let it be so. As they used to say when he was a kid, it's all wasted on him.

penned by... pea

[1dreamsareweird1]

Rewriting Irene + Shad <3

Irene is such a tragic character, she gives me life. Irene is like a breath of fresh air in Jess's MCD series like-

Irene is a goddess who has been doomed to walk the earth. At first it wasn't bad at all, she enjoyed watching the humans around her live and thrive. She made friends and there certainly was no lack of love from her to them. Still, it didn't keep her from being lonely because even though she loved her friends dearly she couldn't completely connect with them, and she knew eventually her time with them would come to an end because humans just didn't have the same constitution as she did.

Out of all her friends Enki was the one she adored the most. He wasn't completely human and she found this comforting because she'd have more time with him before the inevitable happened and he died, because even a goddess such as herself could not extend anyone's lifespan. But since Enki was a warlock he could do that manually, although he would never be able to live as long as she did that did not stop her from asking him to do so. And Enki complied because he loved her with all his heart and he didn't want to be separated from her either, especially when he had the power to make sure he'd have another few hundred years to stay by her side. She was deeply saddened by the realization that she would have to see everyone else around her die, but eventually, she decided it was for the best and that she couldn't do anything to change their fates.

But then Irene met Shad, and she decided that if he was able to live for as long as he had without having been a god then she too could find a way for her friends to live as she did, eternally. She pleaded with the stars above for help in finding the solution but they did not reply. Irene found something, a way to give those around her the power or reincarnation. But there was a cost to the relics that helped her achieve such a feat, human sacrifice. At first Irene was hesitant not wanting to have the blood of the lives of many powerful people on her hands. But as her friends aged she could not watch them die. She took the lives of those whose souls were strong enough to be turned into a different and inanimate physical form. And thus, the relics were born. The relics she made from people and their souls kept her friends in a constant loop of reincarnation. The only problem was her one true love, Shad. She wasn't able to make Shad a relic because while she represented life and divine delivery Shad represented doom and suffering. It wasn't until their daughter was born that she finally found a soul that Shad, her Shad could finally use a relic and stay with her.

And so she did the unthinkable, she murdered her own daughter.

Shad found out and was furious. Their fighting shook the world and it was so intense that holes ripped into their dimension. Both their psyches had been damaged long before this, Irene had become erratic and bitter, Shad had become furious and manic. So when Shad found out the relic that he took was their daughter, it was like time stopped.

The other Divine warriors loved Irene, they loved her so much that they couldn't see that she was already too far gone and that their solution would push her over the edge. What was their solution you ask? To get rid of Shad. They schemed to get rid of him, unaware of why the two were fighting and what the relics that they had received gratefully, were truly made of and who they had actually come from. Enki suspected Irene had done something unforgivable to grant their friends with their eternal lives but he couldn't have known what that unforgivable thing was.

[nysocboy]

Gemstones Episode 1.3 Review, Part 1: Kelvin outs himself, Scotty shoves his wiener into Gideon's face, and Jesse gets it all wrong

(Revised version of the review)

In Episode 2, we saw problems in the developing Kelvin/Keefe and Judy/BJ relationships: Kelvin is too hesitant, and BJ too eager.  But the main takeaway was Gideon: Jesse's estranged son is one of the blackmailers!  Episode 3 will develop the Gideon/Scotty plot arc further, postponing Kelvin/Keefe to their centric episode, "Wicked Lips."  But first we need Kelvin to out himself a few times.

Eyes on the Prize: Gideon meditates on the Tao te Ching as the family prepares for church: "Eyes on the prize. To the still mind, the entire universe surrenders."   On the way, his brothers ask about the celebrities he met in Hollywood, like Vin Diesel. Jesse tries to one-up him by claiming to have met Telly Savalas, star of Kojak (1973-78). (According to the fan wiki, Jesse was born in 1981, so he could not have watched in real time). 

The Satellite Church: Judy, BJ, and Kelvin are scoping out the dying shopping mall where they opened the satellite church: "All around America, capitalism is dying," Kelvin points out. "That's when we step in."  He will never display this insightful knowledge of economics, or anything other than muscles, again.  

Queer code: First Kelvin does a little femme flutter and hand-on-waist.  Then a hot girl walks past: an opportunity for him to demonstrate that he is heterosexual with a double-take?  No,he  looks the other way. 

Billy is greeting the congregants in front of gigantic photos of himself and Kelvin.  Why Kelvin, in particular?  Maybe to indicate that they're both outsiders, struggling to be taken seriously by the family.  Or because they both have huge cocks.

As Baby Billy begins the service, the siblings watch from offstage.  Gideon tunes up his guitar.  Judy comments that he's "looking tasty. Staying in shape." Kelvin agrees; "He is. That's showbiz, right?  You to to keep a tight physique."  You just outed yourself to your sister, Kelv Baby.

Jesse disagrees: lots of people who work behind the scenes are "fat as fuck,."  But, Kelvin insists, if you want to be a star, you have to be a "specimen...a straight unit." According to the Urban Dictionary, a "straight unit" is a guy who is tall, strong, muscular, and well-hung. How much farther out can Kelvin get?

My Wiener in Your Face:  That night, while Jesse and Amber discuss whether Gideon is Saul or Paul (before or after finding Jesus), Gideon answers the question: he goes through his parents' stuff, looking up the value of things he could steal: their nightstand, for instance, cost $2700. 

Meanwhile, at the campground where Scotty is staying, he stumbles out of the van and urinates in front of everyone. A guy protests "Don't nobody want to see that penis!" Scotty counters: "Then quit lookin' at it."  A reference to Scotty liking penises?

Gideon brings him the list of stuff to steal, but Scottyy tears it up: he doesn't want furniture and jewelry, he wants money. He begins to erupt, but Gideon assures him: "I can get it, but my parents don't trust me yet. Be patient."

To demonstrate how unhinged he is, Scotty puts a cigarette out on his tongue and waves a wiener on a wire in front of Gideon's face. This is a symbolic threat of sexual assault.

Jesse Discovers Who Did It: Jesse meets with the siblings and his crew to announce that he has discovered the identity of the third blackmailer; slender frame walks with a swagger, used to being on stage, and very close to him. Sounds like Gideon, right? Nope, it's Levi (lead guitarist in the Gemstone rock band).  Jesse threatens him with a knife (Judy: "Put it in his bottom!"), but finally decides that he's innocent. 

Next: Episode 1.3 Review, Part 2: Gideon acts like a woman, Kelvin acts like a man, and chubby guys show their dicks

[journals4546]

11/19/08

I used to envy Jess of her relationship with Bert, her hold over him, a relationship with him that I’ll never get to experience, in my role of the eternal friend.  I think she’s the face of all the physical & romantic relationships I’ll never get to experience with all of my male friends, the sides I’m barred from in my role of friend/mother/provider/confessor/psychiatrist.  Then I stop, look in from the outside, & realize that what I have with those people, she will never attain.  I so often confuse a sexual relationship with an intimate one.  I’d rather be what I mean to all of them than have quick infatuations which end abruptly & quickly turn into “this boy I used to date.”  Because my ties with them are mostly without sexual connotation, there is none of the awkwardness that comes with the feeling of obligation or guilt if they would like to discuss a problem with another woman.  If I do happen to engage physically with one of them, it has almost never any repercussion; I’m the rare woman who can separate love & affection & infatuation from sex.  This I think I always have been able to say, quite honestly.  I’ve never mistaken a night of passion with love, never expected it to mean that a relationship would blossom from it, a mistake so many women I know make, one which usually means the death of that friendship.  My sexual liaisons with the guys I have been friends with were usually a result of curiosity, a need to exert pent-up sexual frustration, or loneliness.  If I became attached romantically, it would have bloomed quite later, & usually remained unspoken, kept within myself, thus left unrequited.  I could always tell when I was being courted as a temporary entertainment, or if it was mean to have longer intentions.  With Shawn, however, I was always confused, mostly out of my own protective self-delusion - I wanted it to mean otherwise.  With the Asshole, my ex-fuck-buddy-turned-nightmare, I was always aware that it was purely physical, & was satisfied with that, never needed more.  We had a good friendship because I never asked for more than that, & neither did he.  We were an outlet for each other.  Ryan doesn’t understand how I could accomplish this, how I can be such casual & good friends with most of the people I was once physical with, where I find it curious how one can confuse simple sex with love.  For him, sex is the ultimate expression of love, a way to express physically what he feels emotionally, the coming together of two parts of a whole, “creating the two-backed beast.”  The most entwined, physically closest you can get with another human being.  I think he was born decades too late, he does not belong in this century without emotions, where actual love is rare, substituted with a need for convenience.  He’s too sweet for this world, his feelings ring too genuine, too bared, something I love so much about him.  I have such a need for him, a person like him, one who still believes real love is possible, so I can be convinced.  I crave his blind faith in his feelings.  There has been a slight resurgence in this idealism in my generation, but I fear it won’t last past our adolescence, that it will have given way to disillusionment & bitterness by our thirties, how it seems to have for our predecessors.

I want to avoid this at all costs.

When I was younger I wanted to appear jaded, pretend I could see through all of the idealism & hope that affected people my age.  I thought there was sophistication in that.  Now I see how I was clearly, & I wish I had never aspired to that.  I see how it has affected my actions & my fate, how it destroyed so many things, opportunities in my life.  My relationship with Max, how I should’ve believed entirely in his love for me, because it was honest, pure in its innocence, the way that only an adolescent young love can be.  If I had never tried so hard to disprove it, I may still be with him now, I believe.

But I can’t regret it, because it brought me to Ryan, & with it realization, an appreciation for idealism I might never have had, wouldn’t have known the benefits of it.  Ryan unconsciously teaches me how to have that blind faith, trust in the genuineness of one’s feelings, not to doubt, pick apart, overanalyze to the point of destruction.  I once thought of Max’s & Ryan’s feelings, the outpourings of them naive in their sweetness, in their simplicity.  I no longer believe that.  I’m learning not to doubt everything, look for excuses.  It may have taken me a long while, but better now than to have wasted so many years in it, to have ended up bitter & wondering why no one loved me, when I should’ve realized that I’d been loved & had shoved it away.

I look back at all of Ryan’s sacrifices & expressions of love for me, & I become so ashamed that I could have ever doubted them, doubted the genuine honesty in them.  He loved me enough to take care of me, without a word of complaint or any show of irritation.  He loved me enough to put on a CD the songs that make him think of me, to move across the country to an entirely new life for me, to be unable to see me at my most unattractive, unappealing, & still only see the girl he fell in love with.  The strength of that love frightened me, amazed me, still does.  He never asked anything in return for it, only that I love him in return, & I wonder if I did enough to prove that I did, to show my appreciation.

In the end, all I did was run.

This guilt will always weigh so heavily on me, & I will bear it without complaint, because I know how I deserve it.  I turned my back on that love & will never get it back in that exact form.  Even if I were to somehow get him back, it would never be the same, never have the same innocence, purity.  I’d fear the betrayal of my abandonment would always be at the back of his mind, that on some level he’d always be waiting for me to do it again, no matter how I’d try to prove that I wouldn’t.

I don’t believe the kind of love we had (have?) for each other is often found.  We may have very well lasted forever.  If I have enough faith in it, perhaps we still might.  We believed that we found each other at the exact right moment in our lives, but maybe we hadn’t.  Perhaps we were supposed to be together now, at the dawn of my belief in idealism, the only world in which I can be happy, accept love given to me as strongly as I can return it.

I wonder why I can love my friends so strongly, so easily, & accept, even long for their returned love so easily, & yet couldn’t be the same with romantic love.  Why, when I was young, did I find glamour in being jaded, & treat it with casualness?  What an awful way to go through life, so empty.  Perhaps so I could pretend that my biological father’s callousness & abandonment & brutality didn’t bother me, so that I would never allow myself to be treated as he treated my mother.  I pretend that his abandonment, his very existence doesn’t affect me, like it does with my younger brother.  That’s a lie.  It hurts me more than I would like to address.  But now I’ve cut him out of my life, & can abandon him as he did us.  But why doesn’t that satisfy me, bring me absolution?  I want not to, but I believe I need retribution, for every time he physically & emotionally battered my mother, my siblings, used them as his punching bags to relieve his anger.  I see him, hear of him living his easy, comfortable life, & find it so hard to retain my faith in karma, while my family suffers the burden of his actions, the scars peeling daily to reveal still-open wounds.  The damage he’s left upon us, how they affect our actions, are always on our consciousness.  I’m always inwardly disgusted, frustrated with Chelsea’s continued contact with him, though outwardly I’m indifferent.  To walk into the lion’s den, to pet him after he’s devoured your entire family, to smile at him as he’s chomping on your limbs.

It’s an anger, a pain I do not like to address, to admit, because in admitting it, he’s winning all over again.  I fear he’ll never get retribution, even feel guilt for his crimes because he so easily deletes them from his memory, as if they’d never occurred.  His self-denial is so finely tuned that he honestly believes he’s done nothing wrong.  Though it’s vengeful to wish, I would still like for him to suffer horribly, to get his.  I have very little faith in the justness in this world, & perhaps only want to believe in an afterlife so that he may suffer in a hell similar to the one he created for us on earth.

If he’s evil, his good counterpart would be Tom, my mother’s longtime boyfriend.  How can it be so hard for our biological father to love us, provide for us, show interest & affection for the children he helped create, give life to, when Tom does it so easily, for children he has no physical responsibility for?  He gives so much where my biological father only steals.

I envy my mother of her strength, her resilience, never having given up, how many times she must’ve wanted to.  Years of only sacrifice, having to accept the burden of six children with no respite, her entire twenties & thirties not her own, spent on the caring & raising of us, & in our rebellious adolescence no thanks for it.  Perhaps this was why she was given such a youthful appearance, to always look years younger than she is, so that when she finally has the ability to live her life only for herself, she can experience the life she might’ve had.  Even at forty-plus, she appears in her early thirties, a real Midwest beauty, someone who you would want to pull inside yourself & keep under a glass jar forever.  I’m so lucky to have inherited her expressive, wide blue eyes, the eyes Ryan loves so much, the eyes I passed on to the baby.  The two most comforting scents in my world: the smell of my mother’s bathroom - makeup, hairspray, & perfume, a smell I associate with safety, comfort, a certain pride; the second, the scent of Ryan’s chest, the scratchy feel of it against my own chest, smelling of him, thick, fragrant, no cologne - this is the scent of sleepiness, warmth, protection, excitement, dreams, undiluted happiness in its purest state.  I wish to bottle it, drench my pillows in it.

I long to be in the kitchen with him, burying my face into his bare back, as fuzzy as his chest, while he’s concocting dinner for us, singing all the while, being silly, while I’m soaking him in.

[briamichellewrites]

104

The situation with Elliot and Richie ended up being posted on a celebrity gossip blog, TMZ. While in the parking lot of PetSmart with Bruce and Joe, she was asked about it. She held on to his leash while listening to the question and responding that it was a misunderstanding. What happened? She repeated it was a misunderstanding while adding that she and Richie were cool before walking away into the store. He walked away with her, also not wanting to talk to the reporters.

Their goal was to pick out some dog toys and get more dog food. He was thinking about getting a dog, so he had asked to come with her because he wanted to get an estimate of how much things cost. Bruce was only interested in riding in the front seat of the cart and saying hello to the humans. She had reward points she was going to use. That made things a little less expensive.

Jon and the band had flown back to New Jersey. He had to pretend that he never kissed her. Because of his frequent trips, he and his wife, Dorothea had an open marriage while pretending to be faithful to each other. When he found out that she was pregnant, they did a DNA test. It came back with a ninety-nine point nine percent chance it was his. They were done having children, so he had a secret vasectomy. That gave him the freedom of a woman accidentally getting pregnant with his baby.

Dorothea was going to get tubal litigation after birth. He was excited to have another baby in the house, despite having a ten-year-old, an eight-year-old, and a one-year-old. Jacob, their youngest had no idea what was going on but Stephanie, his oldest, and Jesse were excited to meet their new little brother or sister. Stephanie hoped it was a girl, while Jesse hoped it was a boy.

He didn’t care either way. All he wanted was for the baby to be born healthy. After growing up with two brothers, he had no idea how to raise a daughter. That was why he was thankful for his wife. The next time the band was in LA, he wanted to see Elliot.

I miss you, baby. That was the text that he sent her before taking off. When they landed, he got a reply saying she missed him too. He would never forget how beautiful she was or what he felt when he kissed her. It was the first time in years he felt any connection with another woman. At almost fifty years old, she was interested in him. It wasn’t because of his name but rather, the fact that she thought he was attractive. When he kissed her, it made him feel young again.

Damn Richie! If he hadn’t been drinking and made an ass of himself, he might have never met her. He had him to thank for that. His band was aware he was in an open marriage, though they didn’t want to know who he was bringing back to their hotel suite. The women were usually gone before they woke up. David told him that they didn’t have a problem with it, as long as they didn’t know about it.

He didn’t make the women sign nondisclosure agreements because he picked women who he felt wouldn’t go to the media about their hookups. As part of their open marriage agreement, both he and Dorothea were tested regularly for STDs. Every time, they came back clean.

Bruce had spotted a little human. His tail wagged in happiness. The little human pointed to him. Puppy! Elliot stopped to talk to the toddler and her mother. She lifted him out of the cart and held him, so she could pet him. Bruce sniffed her hand and licked it. She made a face as her hand got wet. Her mother asked her if the puppy had licked her hand. Yeah. Silly puppy! They laughed.

Elliot agreed that he was very silly. The little girl nodded. Joe had become distracted by the dog toys and was not paying attention to the toddler. He found a pacifier-shaped chew toy and he showed it to her. Oh my god! That’s adorable. He laughed as she put Bruce back in the front seat of the cart. While scratching his head, he asked how he was doing. He opened his mouth to smile at him. Good. He was happy to hear it. She laughed.

Back home, Bruce scratched an itch with his paw before running into the living room to play with his toys. Joe waited while she put her purchases away. They then went into her room. He had figured out how much he would need to spend to get a dog. It wasn’t as much as he thought. He could afford it. In her room, he pulled her in and kissed her. She put her hands on his chest.

He wanted to make love to her. Would she want him on top of her? He was curvy, not thin like the other guys. After pulling away, he asked for consent. She told him she was a virgin. He stopped as he thought about that. Did she want him to be her first or was she waiting? Whatever she decided, he would respect. She trusted him. He kissed her again as they went to the bed. She laid down and he got on top. They were nervous and he had to take a couple of breaths.

After kissing her again, it all felt natural and he let his body take control. After removing their clothes, she opened her legs and he came between them. He didn’t think he was big, just an average size. After letting her get comfortable, he started moving inside of her. The girl he had a crush on was underneath him. He felt like the luckiest guy ever! Her body was perfect.

Brad missed his daughter and best friend. He wanted her to meet her sister but he didn’t know if that would happen. She still had a lot of anger towards him and Anna for their betrayal. He hoped he hadn’t damaged their relationship forever. George told him to give her time. She was a teenager and would come around eventually. He hoped so. She was his little girl and always would be. It was his fault for being selfish and not stopping the affair before it started.

No, you’re with Mike. I don’t feel comfortable with this. That’s what he should have said. But, he didn’t. He kissed her and then he slept with her. Because he was selfish. He could have broken it off at any time before Ellie caught them. His mind would always reply the moment when she walked in on them. They had just finished having sex when the door opened.

She saw them together, only covered by a bed sheet. Should she have knocked? Yes, but it didn’t matter. She stared at them for a moment before walking out. He heard her crying softly, so he got up and got dressed. Ellie. He found her in the hallway and he tried to hug her but she put her hands up.

“Don’t touch me! How could you do this to me and Mike? I hate both of you!”

She then turned around and walked out to the front door. Ellie! But, she was gone. Mike. His face said everything he needed to know about how he was feeling. Anger, sadness, shock, and betrayal. All at the same time. How could you do this to me? His heart was shattered into a million pieces. They had stabbed him in the back. He couldn’t do anything except look at them. After everything? Mike…

No, nothing she had to say would erase what she had done. Brad admitted that they had been sleeping together for months. How long? Five. He pounded the wall, though not hard enough to wreck the drywall. Fuck both of them! He didn’t want anything to do with either of them! They had hurt not only him but also Elliot! She was in the driveway crying because she had caught them and she had to tell him! That was not something a child should have to see!

She was the innocent victim! Before he completely lost his temper, he was going to leave. Mike… He cut him off. Don’t you fucking dare! With that, he turned around and walked out before he could say anything else. He quickly went to the kitchen and grabbed her medication.

He put it into a plastic shopping bag before running it outside. They noticed him placing it on the driveway before running back inside. He went over to see what he had given them. It was her medication. He brought it over to her. Thanks. They both wanted to get the hell out of there, so they walked to his car. That was the last time they saw her. He could never take that back. I’m sorry. But, it was too late.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @thewriternia

[maleficore]

Tagging this was a mistake because now I'm gonna be annoying af and infodump on you, sorry!!!! I've been sitting on this for weeks!!!!!!!!

Under the cut because fuck, I went a bit overboard 😂 (And uhh.. cw for like period typical violence? Just fyi if it's needed)

His name is Jesse Reznik, Jess for friends for... gender reasons (he doesn't know 🤫 and due to the time period probs not going to figure it out) :) I still don't have his family history all ironed out because it involves a lot of history-related fuckery and that hurts my brain, but he has polish roots from his father's side and speaks the language a bit.

As for general backstory: born in 1865, the youngest of three brothers, lost his father young in an accident and his mother and baby sister not much later to a fever. He was around 14 at that time, his brothers not much older -- 16 and 19. The boys' father's passing put their mother in a lot of debt and when the bank came knocking after her death, it left them with nothing. That kind of soured the oldest brother on trying to do things "by the books" and he dragged the two younger along into The Life Of Crime. The crime in question was rustling (mostly) and they stole just enough livestock to get by, at least at the start. Then three years in they started to get a bit cocky, and greedy, which eventually landed the two older brothers 6 feet under and Jess was left with a pretty solid TBI from getting his horse shot out from underneath him. It gave him visual agnosia that eventually got better, but he never really fully recovered. Has problems reading and writing (less than the former, but still). Can't really read, remember or recognise people's faces.. basically anything that involves putting things together to form a coherent image is hard for him if not impossible.

I skimmed past the scar(s) so coming back to that... It was the eldest brother's doing, not long after the boys started rustling for a living. Jess fucked up, almost cost them a job, and taking a card out of his father's playbook (who's always been heavy on the hand) his brother dealt out the punishment. It's unclear if the belt slipped or if he did it on purpose, but he hit Jess with the buckle across the face and the arm he was trying to cover himself with. He's got scars on both now.

Overall he's not just like a Red Dead inspired cowboy OC, I do insert him into the canon in my head. Both the RDO and RDR2 one, plus pre-canon since he joined the VDL gang soon after his brothers' deaths at 18. And I'm sorry, but I also very much ship him with Arthur 😂 I know self-ships (which this kind of is because I based Jess on myself lol) are the most cringe of fandom sins, but idc. They were an on and off thing during their twenties (because Mary, Eliza, you know the drill.. I think they're both very important and need to be left in) Then were actually, secretly Together-Together in their -- or rather Arthur's, due to the two year difference -- early thirties, but it didn't work out because Jess started drifting off from the gang and we all know how Arthur is. The love is still there, but well... unstoppable force meets unmovable object kind of deal. They're both too bitter and stubborn. Sour divorced couple vibes.

I could honestly talk on an on about this bastard, I've got so many ideas I can't really work on anything else cuz he's using up all my brainpower 😂 If I were a more hardworking guy, I'd write a fic or a series of oneshots about him, but I have enough wips as it is ahsjskdfk

I'm very normal about my RDO self insert.. here's he at 33 (1898) and 18 (1883) 💕

[reidology]

Dying in a bathtub - Hotchreid

Summary: Hotch gets nightmares and hides in the tub, so Spencer makes it comfy for him <3

Word count: 4.4k

Content warning: discussion and description of nightmares, smut, brief description of physical abuse, light angst, quite fluffy, happy ending <3

AO3

__________________________________________

The first time it happened Spencer woke up shivering, the cold of a missing body beside him seeped through the sheets chilled his bones. He braved a lazy glance to his bedside, squinting to see the alarm clock blinking big and aggressive red numbers. 05:25. Aaron must have gone out for a morning run, something Spencer never understood. In fact, his reasoning of ‘why run, when sleep?’ whenever Aaron attempted to get him to join always earned him an affectionate eye roll and kiss on the cheek, so why would he ever give that up? No promise of endless coffee can get Spencer Reid to wake up before 7am, much less for exercise.

Reluctantly the sleepy man made his way to the bathroom, knowing he might as well shower and get ready for work now, there’s no way he could get back to sleep without his human furnace of a boyfriend covering him completely. Only, through his grogginess he failed to notice the boyfriend-shaped body softly snoring in the tub.

So he padded over to the semi-closed shower curtain and blearily reached in to turn the water on for it to heat up while he got ready.

Almost as soon as the water turned on, a high-pitched shriek assaulted the young agent’s eardrums. Spencer did what, in his opinion, any caught-off-guard fully trained FBI agent would do— he squealed in shock and fell back on his ass. A moment later the shower curtain pulled back, revealing a very irritated -and very wet- Aaron Hotchner.

“Babe what the fuck,” the older man whined, wringing out his shirt and turning the freezing water off, “I was sleeping!”

“Oh this is my fault?!”

“Yes! Couldn’t you see me?!”

“I just woke up!”

“Me too!” Aaron pointed to his wet shirt as if to say you have no excuse for this.

Spencer let out a frustrated sigh and pushed himself up from the floor. Somehow he upset his boyfriend, he guesses apologies are on the table. He carefully stepped into the bathtub to face his dripping boyfriend and wrapped his arms around the soaking man’s neck, “I’m sorry,” he pouted quite prettily, “But honey, why were you sleeping in the tub?”

“I didn’t sleep in the tub. I went to sleep in our bed, then you woke me up in the tub.” Aaron grumbled.

Spencer thought Aaron looked positively insane. His eyes focused on the older man’s pupils as his hands checked for a fever.

“Do you have a concussion?” He couldn’t help but fret about the man who is usually so well put together. He was obviously in distress though what kind of distress completely eluded the dry man. Aaron waved Spencer’s worried hands away from his face, “No. Spence, I’m telling you, I didn’t sleep in the bathtub.”

“Then how did you get here?”

Aaron shrugged and swatted Spencer’s nosy hands away that were trying to inspect the grumpy man for any injuries, “Who knows? Let’s get some breakfast.” He calmly stepped out of the tub and headed out, leaving Spencer confused (for once).

“... But it’s 5 am.”

_____

Two nights later, it happened again. But this time Spencer awoke to the sound of sobbing. His heart just about broke in two at the sight of Aaron curled in on himself in the porcelain tub, shaking and covered in sweat.

The Unit Chief used to have terrors most nights. After Foyet, all of life’s problems seemed to unravel in his dreams. The sounds and images were so vivid that upon waking up he believed he had done what he’d dreamed. That he’d hurt his family or that Foyet had come back to finish the job.

During hard cases, Aaron would forgo sleep completely, knowing his mind would only haunt him with terror beyond his conscious capabilities. It left him exhausted and agitated for the rest of the investigation. The team and LEOs got frustrated but none had the guts to confront him, except for one young agent who took special notice of his boss.

So Spencer stepped in, and after weeks of getting closer and learning more about each other than they had in the past five years of working together, Aaron digressed and accepted the help that was offered. The following three months ensued so smoothly, the therapy was helping and Aaron couldn’t believe he was sleeping full nights again. He knew it was all thanks to Spencer, who had taken up a very special place in his heart. Aaron knew that Spencer would always be there when he woke up, like an anchor. Something real to hold on to and keep him in place.

It had been a while since Aaron had such a bad episode, luckily Spencer knew just what to do and jumped right into action. Without missing a beat, the younger man climbed into the tub and sat by Aaron’s head, taking hold of one of his white-knuckled fists and gently coaxing it open by rubbing his thumbs from the palm to the back of the hand. Constant pressure, soothing, real. With one hand he threaded his fingers through the brunette’s damp hair, stroking softly at his scalp, willing his nightmare mind to latch onto the familiar touch.

“It’s okay, you’re safe.” He murmured sweetly like a mantra.

Eventually Aaron’s panicked sobs dissolved into pained whimpers, his body lost some of its tension, allowing for Spencer to gently lift his boyfriend’s head into his lap and off the hard floor of the tub. The whimpers died down to light trembles and Spencer shushed him comfortingly, continuing to sooth him with gentle strokes to his head. Slowly Aaron’s eyes opened and Spencer felt the moment panic set in. The taller man’s breathing quickened and tension returned to his body, frozen in fear. God, Spencer should have turned the lights on.

“It’s just me, darling. You’re home, Aaron. This is home. You’re safe.”

Aaron trembled more, his eyes glazed over as if reliving the nightmare, “Shhh you’re safe.”

Spencer placed a feathery kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead that seemed to anchor him immediately. Tentatively, Aaron looked up at his rescuer, relieved to be in his lover's arms and away from the nightmare universe that had felt so real. He burrowed further into Spencer’s lap, wrapped his shaking arms around his boyfriend’s steady hips. He tried to focus on Spencer’s heartbeat in an attempt to regulate his own. Spencer was warm, Spencer was safe. Always safe.

“Foyet?” Spencer asked cautiously, breath fanning over the older’s forehead. Aaron stilled at the name then nodded. The younger man knows that Aaron needs to talk about it immediately, even if it’s terrifying. It allows him to discern dreams from reality, so that the events and sensations of the night terror don’t ingrain themselves into the man’s memories of reality .

“... and Scratch,” Aaron gulped, “They had Jack. I couldn’t... I didn’t know what was real. Couldn’t tell if it was really Jack. He made me hurt him. Oh god, Spence… I hurt him.” Sobs wracked the pained man’s body once again, unable to forget the horror of the dream. Spencer rocked them back and forth.

“Shh… Jack is fine, he’s at Jess’s. You would never hurt him, Aaron.”

Aaron was spent, he couldn’t muster up the energy to talk. He fell asleep once more in his partner’s comforting hold.

_____

The next morning they woke up with aching muscles from being in the bathtub for so long. Spencer couldn’t help but be worried about his boyfriend. There was definitely something going on, and though he respected Aaron’s privacy immensely, he was afraid of the older man getting into a dangerous situation. Was he sleepwalking to the bathroom? What if he tripped and hit his head on the edge of the tub? But most importantly, why were Aaron’s nightmares leading him to the bathtub?

Spencer nuzzled Aaron’s neck in an effort to wake him up a bit more. “Darling, we need to talk about this.” The worry in Spencer’s voice was audible and prompted Aaron to sit up and sigh deeply. He didn’t think this part of his life would ever come back up to the surface, he’d avoided thinking about it for decades and he didn’t know what triggered the habit to resurface. But now it’s affected Spencer, and he knew he couldn’t keep the love of his life in the dark, but some things were so hard to talk about.

Aaron found himself panicking again, flashes of Foyet and his father clouding his mind once more. Images of Sean taking cover in Aaron’s arms while their father pounds on the bathroom door-

“I know. I-” He was cut off with the sweetest kiss.

“You can take your time sweetheart. No rush.”

Even at this stage in their relationship, Aaron wasn’t used to being treated so well. The kindness that naturally radiated off his boyfriend was enough to make his insides melt, the understanding words never ceased to choke him up. But he knew Spencer would be there to put him back together once he gave him all his pieces. He buried his face in the younger’s neck, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, relaxing into his hold. Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron’s lean form, offering a safe space. Aaron had never been this vulnerable with anyone before his relationship with Spencer.

After a moment of just holding each other, Aaron’s breathing mellowed out and his voice cracked as he explained everything.

“After Sean was born, my dad started drinking. He’d always been somewhat aggressive, scary even. He- he’d get angry and take it out on my mom… and if she wasn’t there... But when he started drinking it got a thousand times worse. I vowed to myself to protect Sean at all costs, I promised him I would never let our dad get to him. So I took the brunt of it when he was sober. But when he was drunk… he would chase us, try to get to Sean specifically. He was just a little kid 5 or 6, I was 15. He would scour the house to find Sean so I took him and locked us in the only room in the house with a lock… the bathroom. I’d carry Sean in my arms and make a run for it. I blocked off the door with a cabinet and we sat in the tub until he passed out.. My dad couldn’t get in but he would pound on the door so loudly, his voice was so angry-”

Aaron inhaled hard, the grip on the back of Spencer’s shirt tightened and his breathing shallowed. Spencer continued rubbing soothing circles on his back, allowing Aaron to take his time.

“The bathtub was the only safe space for Sean and I. We spent whole nights in there, waiting for my dad to pass out. Sometimes we’d tell stories, play games, but other times we cried and I covered his ears with my hands, not wanting him to hear the horrible things our dad was saying. This went on until I went to college, I tried to take Sean with me but my mother wouldn’t allow it. My dad died a year later, when Sean was 9.

“I- because of that, if any of us had nightmares we’d go into the bathroom and sleep in the tub, because no one could get to us in there.”

Aaron swallowed thickly and timidly looked up to the honey-haired man. Had he sounded pathetic?

But Spencer cupped his cheek once again and kissed him lovingly.

“Thank you for telling me. You’re the strongest person I know, Aaron. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.”

Aaron’s heart skipped a beat, warmth spreading through his chest. He swallowed down all his uncertainties and let Spencer in, he was proud of himself. Both of them yawned in succession, still exhausted from last night and uncomfortable from sleeping in the bathtub.

With a cheeky grin the younger man announced, “Let’s go to bed, I’ll get us the day off.” Aaron was so grateful.

While he called in sick, Spencer had an idea, and he knew just who to call.

_____

“Boy Wonder! How wonderful to hear from you on this frabjous day! We miss you and the Bossman dearly. We are definitely… working. Work is happening, and we’re doing it, and it’s getting done. You can trust me on that. Definitely no piñatas in the break room, where would we even find one on such short notice? Emily doesn’t even know where to get balloons! Anyway, what magical service may I bestow upon thee today, my little lord?”

Spencer bit back a chuckle, “Hi Penelope. Listen I need some advice on… interior decorating-”

Immediately, he got cut off by a squeal, “I’m on my way!”

“No! Garcia- after work-”

The line goes flat.

“Dammit. I should’ve just texted JJ.”

_____

Despite her best efforts, the rest of the team did not let Penelope leave the BAU for a ‘design emergency’. Fortunately for Spencer, that gave him some time to plan what he wanted to do while cooking lunch for his sleeping beauty.

After a full meal of soup and grilled cheese, Hotch retreated to the living room hoping to watch some History Channel with Spencer. They love watching the conspiracy shows together and debunking the awful propositions. Though Hotch learned quite surprisingly that Spencer is very open to the idea of aliens on Earth. However, he has a suspicion that that’s mostly wishful thinking on the part of Spencer's inner child. Nevertheless, it’s adorable and Hotch was excited for it, and waiting patiently for Spencer to finish cleaning himself up.

Before he could question what was taking so long, their doorbell rang a sweet lullabye sound (they had to change it from the awful buzzing that it was- it was too overwhelming for Spencer). Not expecting any company, Hotch was puzzled as to who could be at their door.

“Who is it?” He spoke through the intercom.

“Bossman! Sorry to hear about your incurable case of Work Sickness! If you could let me up, I brought you some warm soup!-”

Spencer bounded through the foyer from the bedroom, practically hopping over furniture and knocking down a flower arrangement, “I got it! I got it!” he heaved frantically.

“Babe, what’s Garcia doing in front of our building on a weekday?”

“Nothing Aar don’t worry about it, Penelope and I are just going out for lunch, see you later!”

Spencer grabbed his satchel and was out the door.

“But- Spencer you just had lunch!” The curly haired man was already running down the steps, “Bye!”

It was Hotch’s turn to be left alone and confused.

_____

In Penelope’s car, Spencer explained his idea to Penelope, without going saying too much about Hotch’s nightmares. In true Penelope fashion, the bubbly bits-and-bobs connoisseur knew the perfect place to get what Spencer needed. Penelope dragged Spencer around the independently-owned home goods boutique like a lost puppy for about two hours. She ended up with more bags for herself and Sergio than what Spencer needed.

A few texts and one missed call from Hotch wondering what the hell was taking Spencer so long prompted them to leave. Spencer thanked Penelope in front of their apartment and air kissed her goodbye, promising to show up at girl’s night next week..

Spencer walks into the foyer as quietly as possible and hides the bags behind the living room’s entertainment center.

“Spencer?”

“Yeah! I’m home!”

Aaron walked out of their bedroom with a soft smile. His round glasses were on, meaning he’s been reading… or looking at case files.

“Are you going through the case?” Spencer scolded.

The bespectacled man didn’t waver. “There’s something the victim’s parents said that doesn’t add up, they said that every Thursday Mandy went to soccer practice after school and swim practice in the next town over in the evenings. She takes the bus so if the unsub was stalking her he’d either have to take the same bus and risk getting caught or have a car- which goes against our age profile- so that would mean there’s someone driving him. Spencer, there are TWO unsu-” He was cut off by being pulled into a kiss. He hummed into it and wrapped his arms around Spencer’s slender waist, pulling them closer together. When they pulled apart Spencer whispered “Two unsubs. The team knows, they’re working on it. You-” he tapped his finger on the older’s chin for emphasis, “need to relax today.”

The resulting pretty pout was swiftly kissed away. None of that now.

“But I don’t know how to relax. I’m Aaron Hotchner, stoic as a statue, stern glare extraordinaire, Mr. Emotionless…”

Spencer rolled his eyes and trailed his hands down Aaron’s hard chest, “I know how to make you relax…” The other man grinned “Oh is that right?” Spencer smirked and led his boyfriend to the couch.

_____

That night when Aaron was gone to bed, Spencer quietly retrieved the bags from behind the TV and set his plan in motion.

_____

He’s trembling. And he can’t recognize his own thoughts, he can’t think straight, all he can see is his son- and Haley with terror written all over their faces.

He barely registers the sound of Jack’s wailing because, as if from right behind his ear, he hears a voice that he interprets as his own thought ‘shoot him’.

‘What?’

‘Pull the trigger’

He looks back up to his sobbing, terrified son, and without hesitation- click- BOOM-

Aaron bolted up from the bed, gasping for breath. His eyes darted around the dark. Jack? Where is he- Jack ohmygod-

His vision landed on Spencer’s sleeping form, breathing shallowly and folded into himself like a pretzel, sleeping soundly like an angel. Spencer. Real. Safe. He took a deep breath to regulate his heart. In for 4, hold, out for 6, repeat. This was exhausting.

Groggily, Aaron slipped out from under the covers and headed to the bathroom to get a drink of water and maybe splash his face a little. He thought of getting into the bathtub for the comfort he desperately needed right now, but he’d be embarrassed if Spencer found him in there again. Who does that? But nothing could have prepared Aaron for the sight before him when he opened the door.

Lights. Yellow, green, purple electric lights on strings, illuminating the room in a beautiful calming glow. They were suspended from the curtain rod of the bathtub, taped to the walls. Gorgeously scented candles perched on the sink, some on the ground, a few tea lights lining the edge of the tub. It smelled glorious and comforting and Aaron couldn’t tell what it was. Pine? Sandalwood? Campfire?

The most breath-taking part was the inside of the bathtub. Patterned sheets hung from the walls and draped over to form a delicate roof. Fluffy pillows perfectly laid out to coat every inch of the porcelain interior, and soft blankets piled on top for added comfort. Lights lined the inside of the sheet tent as well, it looked fantastical. Like something out of a book.

Aaron was floored, to say the least. Was this what Spencer had been doing today? He was flooded by a new emotion, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Spencer had done all of this for him? To make him feel safe?

He was still standing just barely in the room, taking everything in and getting emotional when he heard soft footsteps behind him and felt Spencer’s long arms slink around his waist. A chin hooked over his shoulder and a kiss was pressed to his neck.

“Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?”

Aaron nodded, “You did all this… for me?” A tinge of awe decorated his voice.

“Yeah,” his boyfriend whispered back, “So you don’t hurt yourself when you sleep in here.”

Aaron felt stupid for ever thinking his wonderful, thoughtful boyfriend would ever feel embarrassed by him. Of course Spencer took everything he admitted seriously, of course Spencer cared about what he’s been through, Spencer cares… that's what he’s been feeling. Taken care of. Important. For once in his life, he feels like he’s allowed to let himself be loved.

The stunned man seemed to be frozen in place, not knowing how to respond. His mind was overwhelmed with love for his boyfriend. Spencer pulled away and grabbed the older’s hands, Aaron let himself be led to the makeshift fort.

They climbed in together, careful not to knock over any of the burning candles. Spencer settled on one end of the tub and pulled Aaron into him before he could even think of not cuddling with him. He made space with his legs for his boyfriend to settle between, chest pressed to back, arms wrapped around his love. Safe, warm, and comfortable in a sea of cushions like twin yolks in a shell.

Laying here, in his lover's arms, surrounded by low tranquil lights, and the gentle rise and fall of Spencer’s chest, Aaron felt as serene as he’d ever been. Spencer slid warm hands under Aaron’s shirt, bringing one up to rest cozily on his heart. Aaron turned his head and nuzzled further into Spencer’s neck, feeling the familiar tingle of the man’s touch and murmured a low hum of approval.

Spencer’s other hand, that wasn’t on Aaron’s heart, was used to tip the taller man’s chin up to look at him.

“I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind,” he cooed, “sometimes it’s impossible to take yourself out of that world. But in our home, Aaron, I want you to feel safe and protected at all times. I want you to be vulnerable and unashamed. You’re free to be everything you are in here, and I hope that you feel you can be everything you are with me, too.”

Aaron lost himself in his partner’s deep gaze, glorious hazel eyes boring into him. Completely enamored by the words spoken to him, all he could do was nod and lick his lips, trying to regulate his heart rate for a completely different reason now. Spencer had never been so… authoritative before and his sincere but stern tone sent thrilling sparks down his spine. A blush rose up his neck.

Spencer tracked the slow movement of Aaron’s tongue sliding over his bottom lip, and didn’t fight the impulse to drag his thumb over it. “You’re always safe with me.” He barely whispered before angling his head down to catch those lips in a languid kiss. Aaron sighed into it, waiting a little while before pushing himself up to fix their awkward angle. He positioned them so that Spencer was laid down flat on his back, allowing Aaron to lay between his legs once more, chest to chest. They tangled themselves in each other, lips colliding again like a match to a box, igniting a fire in the both of them.

Both were still tired from waking up in the middle of the night, but the desire coursing through their bodies was a more pressing matter. Spencer lifted his hands to frame his lover’s neck and wrapped his legs loosely around his waist, inviting Aaron to grind down onto him, both already half hard from the anticipation. Spencer groaned into Aaron’s mouth. A sound that went right to Aaron’s dick.

They explored each other’s bodies with a youthful novelty, eager to feel more skin. Never once pulling their lips apart. Aaron slipped his hands under Spencer’s shirt and shoved it up under his arms, digging his fingers into those delicious hips. Finally he broke away from the kiss to pepper the younger’s face with sweet ones. Aaron’s heart grew three sizes at Spencer’s soft giggles and let out a low laugh of his own. How ridiculous were they, making out like teenagers in a bathtub fort? Neither much cared to answer that question though, because the impatient genius bucked his hips up to meet his boyfriend’s, who was still in his boxers, let’s get those off.

Spencer eagerly reached for Aaron’s underwear and palmed at his bulge just until he heard that impatient sound from him. He pulled the man’s cock out now fully hard and dripping with precum. A groan escaped the both of them at the sight and sensation. They wasted no time in getting Spencer out of his nerdy physics flannel pajama pants, and grinded their dicks together. Lighting sparked right through the both of them, Aaron balanced himself on one arm near Spencer’s head and took both of their lengths into his right hand.

The rub of their slick cocks together was spectacular as Aaron kept a slow and steady pace, making sure to draw out all the best sounds he knew Spencer could make by nipping at his neck, where he knew the younger man was ticklish. Spencer whined at the excruciating pace, turning into a desperate whimpering mess. Making Spencer wait was so fun.

Spencer’s hands find grip in Aaron’s short hair, keeping him close, feeling the pull of Aaron's big hand on his dick and grinding up to meet him. It’s intoxicating bliss, being taken over the edge by the man he loves.

Their worlds minimized to just the slide of their cocks and the lips on their skin. The whimpering man felt the familiar build up in his abdomen, moaning freely now as he chased his orgasm, guiding Aaron’s hand with his own to feel his touch everywhere.

“Yeah baby,” Aaron encouraged, his own orgasm coming on quickly, “Cum for me baby.”

Spencer sputtered his release over both of their hands and stomachs, momentarily suspended in the intense bliss of his orgasm. He laid there spent, feeling like putty in Aaron’s hands, and pulled him down for a passionate kiss. He took his lover’s cock in hand and pumped him quickly, thumbing the head of his dick on each upstroke. Aaron came with a groan and a shudder, his arms gave out. They laid there catching their breaths for a while, ignoring the drying stickiness between them and tracing slow patterns on each other’s skin. They were so lucky to have each other.

“How are we going to shower now?” Aaron looked up and pouted.

“There’s a perfectly good sink just 5 feet away.” They laughed, Aaron pulled a blanket over them.

------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @foxtrot91 @physics-magic @ssa-sarahsunshine @hearteyedhotch

[pavys-originals]

Fandoms I will be writing for + the original characters within

Including a brief summary of each. 

Birds of Prey Valerie Steward - Crime boss, rival of Roman Sionis, has Renfield Syndrome, usually likes the most expensive and lush possessions. Has very large circles beneath her (In a social/hierarchical sense).  Can be incredibly eccentric, and very passionate.

One/Omni- The first of the Blackcoats, a large group of highly trained marshal-like operatives. Omni himself usually does not get involved in combat, and pays close attention to details. 

Two/Hyinth- The second in the first thirteen/High Council of the Blackcoats. Isn’t quick to rush to violence, though they will do what they must to get things done. 

Three/Cettie- The financial backer of the council. Doesn’t usually get involved with the violent sectors of the organisation, she finds it a waste of time. 

Four/Aven- Pure bodyguard material. That’s it, that’s Aven. Not himbo- he’s to smart and sharp for that- just muscly man who will protect at all costs.

Five/Aretha- Now when I tell you that this woman knows how to kill someone and get away with it, I mean it. She trained to be Valerie’s understudy in a sense, and has perfected her own technique in disposing of people when asked.

Six/Giga- The techie. Honestly, they know so much about random stuff they will RAM it down your throat. They’re also kind of jokey, hence the pun. 

Seven- Seven gave up his name when he was fairly young, and is now one of the most powerful and down-to-earth of the Blackcoat high council, as he is the one who oversees the training regimens.

Eight/Axel- A total wild card of the group. Rarely follows orders, and lashes out with violence fairly frequently. He’s honestly a big softie though. 

Nine/Jerra- Usually the one that gets sent in when they need an undercover job done, or a mole of some description. He’s a phenomenal actor. 

Ten/Rocsas- One of the youngest. He’s very ‘in’ with the word on the streets of Gotham,and often informs the council of riots/coups that are being planned by the gangs of the city of crime.  

Eleven/Ixi- Iris/Thirteen’s twin. They are very detached, and don’t often show emotion in the work place. It is suspected that they show lots of affection in a domestic setting though. 

Twelve/Brutus- As his name suggests, he is the strongest of the group, naturally born this way and has honed his skills in since starting training. He is very protective, and follows orders. Not always the brightest spark though, but occasionally he will get a good idea. 

Thirteen/Iris- Sometimes referred to as the ‘softest’ of the High Council, as she is much more compassionate than the majority of her peers. She doesn’t mind it all that much, and often interjects in debates with the more emotional side of the story. 

Twenty-Six/Kalmiya- Almost an entirely blank slate, she is seen as the perfect soldier. Little room for emotions, much room for logic. However, she does seem to learn social cues and expressions very quickly off of other people. 

CATS  A note- about the cats ocs; Just because they are stated to have mated with another Tom/Queen does not mean I won’t write for them. If I write for the children, the bond between parents is not usually mentioned.  

Ariadne-A witch’s cat. She is quite mysterious, but once she warms up to you she’ll adore you like there’s no tomorrow. She is able to teleport over a short distance, has slight telepathy, and sometimes has visions of the future. 

Graciette- The pub cat. Daughter of Skimbleshanks and Jennyanydots, younger sister to the mischievous twins Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, and older sister to the young kitten Electra. She is always on  time, and is very enthusiastic about overseeing the games in the pub. 

Leviticus- The oldest triplet, son of Ariande and the Rum Tum Tugger. He is very close with his grandfather, Old Deuteronomy, and very wise. 

Squiggletigs-The middle triplet, second son of Ariande and the Rum Tum Tugger. He is usually found with Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, he is much more playful than his older brother. He’s like the middle ground between Leviticus and Pixietrick.

Pixietrick- The youngest child of Ariande and the Rum Tum Tugger, and their only daughter. She’s very much like her father, both in appearance and in personality. 

Fantasma- The inventor’s cat, and daughter of Graciette and Alonzo. A lot of her time in the junkyard is spent finding random little trinkets and other doo-dads to use for her inventions, or just random collections she has. She’s very shy, and very sweet. 

Zilke- The blind cat, mother of Quaxo/Mistoffelees and Victoria. She tried to stick by Macavity when he was kicked from the tribe, her love blinding her to the near regicide that was committed. Eventually, she became actually blind. 

Seattine- One of the two pirate cats, rumoured to be descendants of Growltiger himself. They rarely come ashore, but when they do, they play many a shanty for old Gus. Seattine favours the concertina as her instrument, and is usually very upbeat.

Hurdeon- One of the two pirate cats, rumoured to be descendants of Growltiger himself. They rarely come ashore, but when they do, they play many a shanty for old Gus. Hurdeon favours the hurdy gurdy, and is a lot calmer than his twin sister. 

Doctor Sleep  Elva Warren- The owner of a sweet little antique shop in New Hampshire. She is always welcoming to new faces, and she knows just what cheers them up when she meets them, what to say to make them smile, all because of her Shine. 

IANOWT  Marilyn Higgins - An uncool kid like Stan and Sid, though a lot of people consider her to be less cool then them. Mostly because of all the morbid facts she spouts, especially during Science class. Probably also doesn’t help that she knows a fair few ways that the world could end that make some people uneasy.

IT  Melissa Farley- A British exchange student from a small village in Norfolk. She is very kind to those around her, even willing to take them in and introduce them to her family’s traditions and interests. She has even offered to tutor some of the Losers, should they ever need it.  Tiffany Crandall- A farming gal from Ludlow, Maine. She moved to Derry with her grandmother and grandfather after her parents were hit by a speeding Orinco truck. She is neughbour’s with Mike Hanlon, and has very little fear when it comes to brawls. It’s traffic and roads she doesn’t like. 

Moulin Rouge  Celine Bisset- A dancer in the Moulin Rouge. She is usually quite gentle, unless her client asks for her to be rougher and more assertive. She ended up becoming a dancer there because her fiance left her stranded when he ran off with another woman. 

Overwatch Asteria Murphy- After surviving an omnic siege where Blackwatch was sent to free the inhabitants of an apartment block, Asteria joined Overwatch to try and make sure nothing like that happened again. 

Mars Virgil- Son of Asteria Murphy, and Jesse McCree. Grew up in Deadlock Grange with his mother, and Robert Virgil- the man he assumed was his father. He joined Overwatch after  an attack on his mother’s diner, and found out his true family soon after.

Resident Evil Village Ihrin Moreau- Sister of Salvatore Moreau. Unlike her brother, her experience with the Cadou did not mutate her into a fish at first glance. It is when she comes into contact with water that her first stage mutation reveals itself, and her true mutated form shows when she is critically injured. She is vain and practically unfeeling unless something catches her eye.

Aeolus Aetos- Self proclaimed “Lord of the Wing”. Aeolus is a man who’s mutation made him think so highly of himself that he only concerns himself with his own problems. He is vain, and keeps himself the most pristine he can. Being mutated to appear part eagle gives him both his pride and his expert hunting skills

Mori Russell- One of the village hunters, who survived the lycan attacks by fleeing into the forests, and hiding out of sight. 

Lena Vaughn- Daughter of the local brewer. Also survived the lycan attacks, but because of her skill with a shotgun rather than running away. 

Shallow Grave Deirdre Sullivan- A failing artist who moved from her family home in Ireland to chase her dreams. She’s partway there, she’s just lacking in the money.Money that she has a hand in keeping away from David. 

Star Wars  Alaana Rohiikshuul- A Jedi consular/seer. She is very down to earth, and tries her best to have the mysteries of the Force reveal themselves to her so that she may write of them. It is this constant search for knowledge that has her meditating for days on end, lost in her own thoughts. Alessandro  Rohiikshuul - Alaana’s twin brother, and the slightly more impulsive of the two. This is not to say he is outwardly violent. Like Alaana, he makes sure to exhaust all other options beforehand. He is much more openly passionate.  Othkiir Rohiikshuul- A young, feline force sensitive from Alaana and Alessandro’s home planet, Tmryn. He can be a little all over the place sometimes, but he tries to do everything he  can for the greater good. 

Daesha’Tiatkin- A Twi’lek force sensitive who deserted the Jedi Order in her late teens- opting to live a scoundrel’s life. She does what betters her, and usually her alone, though you should not mistake this for having no moral compass. She is impulsive, and almost always optimistic. 

Kyden Kenobi- Son of Sith!Obi-Wan and Sith!Alaana. Captain/Commander of the Night Witches squadron in the Empire’s fleet. Usually incredibly goofy and sweet. 

Trainspotting Ava Byrne- (First film)- A philosophy student who got stuck in Edinburgh when she left her home. She got stuck in the same apartment building as Renton and the other boys, but refuses to divulge in their illegal activities.  (Second film)- Ava didn’t end up leaving Edinburgh, the best thing she managed to do was write “The Ethics of Drug Use”, which was of course inspired by the boys’ old lives. She hasn't properly seen the boys since Mark left, though she will occasionally pass Simon or Daniel in the street, and give them a semi-respectful nod.

Misc  (Special Ingredients- my original story in the works) Tex Hudson-  The eldest brother of the trio of brothers, and he was the one to change his name when he got married the first time, as if it would help him in his family’s “business”. He has quite a temper, and is usually rather gruff. There are occasions where he can be sweet, they’re just growing exceedingly rare. Sloane Sawyer- The middle brother, and arguably the most elegant of the three. Always in a suit, he acts like the perfect gentleman in front of others, however when there’s no one else around, he tends to gloat about how many kills he has under his belt.  James ‘JJ’ Sawyer- The youngest brother, but also the tallest. Standing at a whopping six foot nine, Jamie may seem like a beast of a man, but he actually quite gentle. He’s a little slower than the others when it comes to figuring some things out, but he doesn’t let that slow him down anywhere else. He is incredibly sweet, quite passionate, and not afraid to show his vulnerable side when his brother’s aren’t around. 

Victoria/Victor Farley- A pirate captain who sails within the Devil’s Ring (more on that in their first piece), and acts however they so please within the pirate code. Born as Victoria Farley on mainland England, they followed their father through to the centre of the Devil’s Ring- becoming one of his crew in the process. From there they fought on and on, till they became a ship’s captain themselves. 

Scenarios/genres I will write -Fluff -Angst -Smut* -Horror -A combination of those stated above *This will only be written when I am in the mood. Bear in mind these may take longer than usual because I have to be in the correct mindset. I will edit this when necessary

Character Q&A is currently open! 

I will include trigger warnings and such at the beginning of each Oneshot/imagine/headcanon list.

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~ * ~ * ~ jess’ wip masterlist ~ * ~ * ~ 

This is just a masterpost for all my wips and it’ll be under the cut just not to annoy people/flood their dash. Also everything is subject to change because i’m impulsive and love making my life more difficult.

Let me know if you want tagged to anything

[Duology] [Writing] [Spy/Thriller/Action] [Worldwide, mainly European Countries] [MC: Andy]

World peace is precariously balanced on a knife’s edge. One wrong move could have disastrous consequences. An untold number of deaths would closely follow. Those who know about the delicate world state notice a highly distressing trend: a series of deaths and kidnappings of important people and those closest around them.

The group, The Collective, are carrying out these missions and they were highly trained and unrecognisable. These missions wouldn’t be linked together if it wasn’t for their signature, a black business card left in the bloodbath.  

A team is quickly put together with one goal; find and eliminate The Collective, no matter the cost. By whatever means necessary. The only problem. The one chosen to lead. They were no better than them. A burnt spy, an ex-assassin and an ex member of The Collective, they alone were said to be responsible for a high number of violent killings.  

But in order to keep the delicate peace, sometimes pardoning the enemy of thy enemy is a necessary evil…

                              Bloodshed, chaos and death await.

[Standalone] [Writing] [Mystery/New Adult] [Beckton Bay] [MC: Callie]

Calista ‘Callie’ Fletcher was forced to return home to the small sleepy town of Beckton Bay, she didn’t know what to expect. Reconnect with the few remaining friends from school, get her old job back at one of the only restaurant bars in the town, maybe have a string of not serious flings with the non-locals who passed through the Bay. That was the height of it. Her plans derailed the moment, he walked through the door. He wasn’t meant to be there. They both left Beckton Bay at the same time, together, they never meant to return. It was only fitting that they returned mere weeks after each other. But the same force that dragged Callie back, also dragged him back. It was up to them to figure out what mysterious force was at play here in Beckton Bay and why it was killing so many people from the class of 2013. 

[Standalone] [Outlining] [Supernatural/Detective] [Belfast, Northern Ireland] [MC: Charlie] 

Tragedy followed Charlotte MacGuire around, it had been her constant shadow and companion since the night of her parent’s murder when she was a young teenager. The only reason Charlie managed to survive was because she wasn’t there. The police, who eventually began her colleagues,  told her the murder was a result of a home invasion gone wrong, but Charlie knew better, it wasn’t the truth. The MacGuire family was targeted for the simple reason of them being werewolves.

The perpetrator or perpetrators were never caught.

Fourteen years later, she was targeted for the same reason, she barely survived the attack and had been forced to take four months off the job. Her attack was the first in a series of attacks against the small supernatural community that called Belfast their home. It was up to Charlie to stop these attacks once and for all. 

[Series] [Writing, slowly] [New Adult, Romance] [Sunrise Cove] [MC: Victoria]

When Victoria Walker was given the opportunity to help the up and coming legal aid centre that her law firm financially backed. She jumps at the chance as this opportunity shouldn’t happen to her, especially not after having a stress educed breakdown in front of one of the firm’s highest paying clients.

Most would have seen this as a punishment, watching over and help mentor a bunch of arrogant and rude recent law school grads who think they knew everything about law. But not Victoria, she saw it as anything but a punishment. She wanted to give back to the small town that helped raise her.

The Walkers sisters were only meant to move to this quiet seaside town for nine months – a year at most. But everything changes when Victoria meets Casey Markov, the closed off but kind hearted man who managed one of the local restaurants.

[Duology] [Outlining] [Supernatural/War] [London, England] [MC: Ripley]

Ripley Balfour was a survivor through and through. The night her family was murdered, she survived that. Ripley didn’t want the life she’d been forced to live. 

She was one of the few witches who managed to live on the fringes of society. She managed to survive because avoided the rest of the supernatural community. She was lucky to live like this as she was never registered, despite the law. Her existence was illegal. 

The constant whispers of a brewing supernatural revolt started to look like a possibility. They were looking for a leader and that was Ripley, all she had to do was survive once more.

[Standalone] [Outlining] [New Adult] [Dublin, Ireland] [MC: Bethany]

After a failed long term relationship, Bethany Morgan returned back to Dublin. It wasn’t a place she considered home anymore, she left the Irish capital six years ago for University in London. Her parent’s house didn’t feel like home anymore, all Bethany ever wanted was to feel at home again. Reuniting with childhood friends didn’t helped much. Starting new hobbies distracted her. But nothing helped. 

Bethany Morgan was so lost.

[Standalone] [Re-Outlining] [Supernatural/War] [90′s, Northern Ireland] [MC: Mattie]

As the events of 90′s rage on in Northern Ireland, another underground war wages on between the covert supernatural population. The allegiances of mainstream Northern Ireland didn’t necessarily translate here. No trusts anyone, not even their neighbours. Everyone was more than willing to sell you out at a moments notice.

[Series] [Re-Outlining] [Supernatural/War] [MC: Alex]

Following the death of Maria Rundolfa just over six months ago, Scarlett, Maria’s youngest daughter, assumed that she’d take over what had remained of the former legendary Pack and try to restore them to their former glory. But when Alex, who vanished over ten years ago without so much as a goodbye, stumbles in through the door all bloodied and stinking of booze, while yelling intelligible notions about the prophecy. Scarlett is forced to step aside as the prophecy states that it’s the oldest living daughter who will be their saviour. Alex finally understands that for as long as she’s still breathing, she has to do anything in her power to save her secret. 

A secret that she’d give up everything to protect, even her humanity.

[Standalone] [Vague idea with vague characters] [New Adult/Adventure] [London, England] [MC: Odie]

To call the Rowley family rich was a drastic understatement. They came from century’s old money, they would never have to worry about anything. Just an occasional investment was more than enough to keep them afloat for at least the next few decades.

Odette, better known as Odie to her fellow socialite friends, never had to work for anything. Whatever she wanted she was handed on a silver platter.  That was the Rowley way. The latest trends? Odie set them. Expensive and all in exclusive holidays in the top hotels, she took them many times a year.

So when a series of death threats were made against Odie, everyone took them incredibly seriously. Arthur, the head of the Rowley family, even hired her a private bodyguard to watch and protect Odie at every turn. This wasn’t something Odie wanted at all, someone judging her for the life she didn’t ask to be born into. That was until Odie met her bodyguard and she took her breath away.

[Short Story] [Drafting] [Horror] [Third Person] [Co. Armagh, Northern Ireland]

If you enter these woods after dark, don’t expect to come back at all. Alive or dead. If you do find yourself trying to spend the night, for the love of God, just stay inside your tent. No matter what. Just ignore the sounds of the woods. Just stay inside. Ignore everything. The screams of your friends who thought they would be brave and venture off.

Despite the constant warnings that surrounded the woods, people, mainly teenagers who wished to prove how brave they were, still ventured into them. Trying to stay the night. But these warnings were there for a reason. Anything can happen, but what happened to the waves of campers was never known. The prevailing thought was that these woods were the hunting grounds of a local killer. Some thought it was the disgruntled ageing farmer. An uncommon theory was that the woods held some sort of supernatural power. Maybe even a portal to Hell. No one knew the truth.

After dark there were no survivors.

[purplesurveys]

961

What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Unsettling films are my jam, man. To name a few, there’s Eraserhead, Room, Midsommar, Eyes Wide Shut, Misery, and most recently, I’m Thinking of Ending Things. Eraserhead takes the cake though. That movie always makes me queasy...

What unethical experiment would have the biggest positive impact on society as a whole? I’m a firm believer in nothing good ever comes out of unethical practices. I’ll never forget reading about an experiment where a group of newborn babies were given basic needs like food and being bathed, but weren’t shown any affection whatsoever and it was meant to see if humans can survive with just the most basic physiological needs. By the end of the experiment period half of the babies were dead. The results were honestly a lot bleaker than how I’ve put it, but I don’t wanna be a downer lol. Suffice it to say that experiment haunted me for days after reading it.

When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? It was around a week or so ago, I’m pretty sure.

Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? My sister is into K-pop and I hear insights from her all the time, but her one constant is that BTS breeds the most annoying, toxic fans. I’d have to agree. Ariana Grande’s fandom was also annoying at one point, but I haven’t heard much from them making a mess these days.

What are you interested in that most people aren’t? Autobiographies.

If you were given a PhD degree, but had no more knowledge of the subject of the degree besides what you have now, what degree would you want to be given to you? Why would I deserve a PhD on something I’m clearly not qualified for...I’m not sure I’m following this question right, but I don’t feel like thinking too hard about it.

What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I’m happy with the features that are widespread now, but I wish companies adhere more to countries other than the common ones like US, UK, Australia, etc. I always see ads about phones being able to tell you how much movie tickets cost or track boarding passes, but those are all irrelevant here. It makes a lot of Apple’s basic apps useless on this side of the world haha.

What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Long-term effects of poor habits like not getting enough sleep or drinking too many cups of coffee. I know because I’m guilty of this.

What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? “I won’t think about that now, I’ll think about it tomorrow,” but I usually say it to myself, especially when I feel stressed.

Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? Better, but idk if that’s just me being biased because my generation will be the next parents lol. I just think that a lot of Gen X parents still have a lot of dated prejudices and mindsets that my generation was able to learn better from. For example my mom doesn’t like using people’s preferred names, especially if they’ve transitioned -_____- and I know I’d never want to set such an example for my kids.

What’s the funniest joke you know by heart? I know I’ve come across hilarious ones but I always fail to come up with one when asked on the spot.

When was the last time you felt you had a new lease on life? LOL RIGHT NOW

What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? It’s more stupid than funny and I know I’ve already mentioned this before, but Covid Bryant as a first and second name still takes the cake for me. My sister went to school with a girl whose name is just her surname backwards, and for a time I was really weirded out by it. But in the times I’ve seen her she really owns her name and never looks bothered by it, so I quickly stopped caring.

Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? For me it would have to be organizations for animal welfare.

What TV show character would it be the most fun to change places with for a week? Post-El Camino Jesse Pinkman. I wouldn’t want to live through his chaotic shit  from Breaking Bad, but his fate after El Camino is something I’m super envious of.

What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now? Flip phones, Blackberry phones, Roshes, Frappuccinos.

If you were moving to another country, but could only pack one carry-on sized bag, what would you pack? Phone, laptop, their chargers, important IDs, some of my favorite tops and jeans, underwear, essential toiletries, wallet, a family photo, a journal and pen, earphones, certain knickknacks to remember Gab and my dogs by. Minus the clothes, all of these are pretty tiny so I think these would all fit in the bag just fine.

What’s the most ironic thing you’ve seen happen? I don’t know. I’m not really a fan of rating the most/worst this and that stuff in my life, either. I feel like I unnecessarily rack my brain too hard for them when I take surveys to have a chill time.

If magic was real, what spell would you try to learn first? Probably something that’d keep my dogs from dying.

If you were a ghost and could possess people, what would you make them do? No thanks. I’d be the chillest ghost tbh, I’d like to just sneak up on people’s business and hang out but never interfere in them.

What goal do you think humanity is not focused enough on achieving? Climate change, global warming, alleviation of poverty. Corporations and the few people who actually have the power and money to change things only ever come up with short-term shit like donations and never look at the big picture. What problem are you currently grappling with? So many personal ones. But just like the recurring theme of my surveys so far, “I don’t want to get into it.”

What character in a movie could have been great, but the actor they cast didn’t fit the role? As much as I love Kristen Stewart, I heard she was cast as Princess Diana for an upcoming film and I’m not really feeling that decision. They could’ve gone with a British actress for starters?????? The movie is still in production but it is pretty annoying to think about lmao.

What game have you spent the most hours playing? Probably GTA: San Andreas as a kid.

What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? Luxury hotel beds are always so fluffy and comfortable.

What’s the craziest conversation you’ve overheard? Omg one time at a coffee shop Gabie and I sat beside this older couple that obviously was going through some heavy SHIT. There was a lot of animosity and tension between them and I caught the lady silently break into tears a few times. I never overheard anything but then again they sat in silence for hours until the lady finally walked out on him. Never knew what it was about but I’ve always guessed that the man did something crappy, like cheat, and was discovered. It was a really sad sight and a crazy situation to witness and I think I felt even more sorry because they were obviously in their 50s or 60s. I hope the woman is in a better place now as she looked rough as fuck that evening.

What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? I wore a lot of hats when I was in my college org, and that was on top of balancing my acads as well.

What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? That scene from Friends where Ross plays the keyboard for Chandler, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel.

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation? It depends on what music they’re into and if I have actually have a recommendation in mind for them. I obviously can’t suggest Paramore to someone who mainly listens to metal.

If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? I’m down for any monuments that are super ancient like Stonehenge or the Pyramids of Giza.

If animals could talk, which animal would be the most annoying? I’d go with frogs, but only because they get annoyingly loud in the evening.

What’s the most addicted to a game you’ve ever been? Playing The Sims, Mario Kart, Rock Band, or games in the Burnout franchise.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? Japan was so fucking cold when I was there. Didn’t do my research and ended up being dressed poorly, and I was so cold I could barely talk to my parents or fully enjoy my time. Sagada was also nearly unbearable in the early morning.

Which protagonist from a book or movie would make the worst roommate? Not from a book or movie, but BoJack Horseman. Diane can also be in the running as I always found her too whiny. I get that she had her personal shit to deal with, but I don’t think living with her would be good for my own sanity and mental health.

Do you eat food that’s past its expiration date if it still smells and looks fine? It annoys my chef dad to death that I don’t lol. No matter how great it looks, I’d bounce. I once ate expired Kit Kats that tasted like cardboard and that scared me off of expired food forever.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? I once bought a stupid novelty soap that to this day I’ve never even opened. It’s in one of my drawers, and I plan to just throw it out at some point.

What’s the funniest comedy skit you’ve seen? Not a fan of these but one that got to me is Dear Sister from SNL.

What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? A few years ago there was a local breakfast place that offered red velvet pancakes for a limited time and I was all over that crap, so I went and ordered. The actual pancakes ended up not being any bigger than my palm, and I remember not being able to hide my disappointment once the server placed the dish on my table haha. I felt so scammed. I had to order something else to feel full, because those pancakes were stupidly small.

What tips or tricks have you picked up from your job/jobs? One of my superiors, when she was presenting a pitch to our director yesterday, kept asking questions and picking at the director’s brain so that she can get suggestions and answers straight from the director herself and so that she didn’t have to do any brainstorming anymore. I thought that was a pretty nifty and clever hack.

What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Hiking a mountain!

What songs hit you with a wave of nostalgia every time you hear them? Umbrella by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z.

What’s the worst backhanded compliment you could give someone? Idk, anything can be the worst depending on the context. I’m not a fan of giving those, though.

What’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched? Unsolved Mysteries’ Dupont de Ligonnès episode was a lot of fun to watch.

What was the last song you sang along to? I think it was Thinking of You by Katy Perry? but I’m not entirely sure. I haven’t sung along to anything in a while.

What app can you not believe someone hasn’t made yet? I don’t really download and use a lot of apps other than the basic ones, so I don’t care too much.

When was the last time you face palmed? Last night.

If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? I’d give it away to the Martial Law museum currently being made near my university so that it can do more to show the atrocities of the Marcoses. And so that I can piss off my pro-Marcos relatives.

Which of your vices or bad habits would be the hardest to give up? Uh hating myself, if that counts.

What really needs to be modernized? Public transportation systems in this country.

[rebellect-writes]

[b]Your Name:[/b] Jess [b]Your Age:[/b] 20 [b]How'd You Find Us?:[/b] Don’t ask.

[b]Full Name:[/b] Jackson Rhodes [b]Nicknames:[/b] - Jax. - Jackie. - Roadie. [b]Date of Birth:[/b] 12th of August 1984. [b]Age:[/b] 26 [b]Gender:[/b] Male [b]Occupation:[/b] street magician. [b]Sexual Orientation:[/b] Straight switch.

[b]Animal:[/b] Cougar. [b]Power Level:[/b] "Beta" Alpha. [b]Mindset:[/b] Domissive. [b]Rank:[/b] Manabozho.

[b]Animal Appearance:[/b] [IMG]http://cache2.allpostersimages.com/LRG/26/2675/C6EUD00Z.jpg[/IMG][LIST]Jackson’s big for a cougar, just a little over “average” size. Weighing in at 210lbs in cougar form, he’s almost as big as a jaguar, only a lot less muscled, and almost 6’ in length. He’s covered from head to tail tip in dark and thick honey colored fur that keeps him insulated from the cold. [/LIST][URL=http://i672.photobucket.com/albums/vv90/bloodwillout/Cowboy_Cougar_by_Skitzobits.jpg]Hybrid form[/URL][LIST]Jackson knows about his hybrid form, and even though he rarely uses it, it’s still something in his arsenal should he ever get into a fight and he needs a little more juice. Standing roughly at 6’8 tall and weighing in at 240lbs, the furred cougar-man form is build for speed and combat. He’s got retractable claws that can cut through skin like a knife like butter, and paw like hands and feet, replace human hands and opposable thumbs leaving him in a mess if he needs to open anything fiddly. When he’s in this form, he’s covered from head to toe in dusty gold fur that darkens in patches and things out across his abdomen. [/LIST][b]Human Appearance:[/b] [IMG]http://i672.photobucket.com/albums/vv90/bloodwillout/taylorkitsch.png[/IMG][LIST]Standing at an even 6 foot tall, Jackson is your average looking bloke. With shoulder length brown hair – that he hasn’t cut since he was twelve! – Which he keeps away from his face by just raking his fingers through it and an almost continuous five o’clock shadow that sometimes, Jackson forgets about and lets it get a little thicker, can almost be described as rugged, and that doesn’t take your fancy, grungy at the very least. The pale tawny skin, stunning hazel eyes, full lips, yep, Jackson knows how to use it all to his advantage and yet he doesn’t. As for his clothing style, Jackson is very laid back into what he wears, though there is a vane streak in him that he always tries to hide behind his temper. He likes to wear suits and won’t admit it, so more often or not, he will settle for clingy dark jeans, dark coloured shirts or t-shirts, often accompanied by a leather jacket for just an open shirt over a t-shirt. With a little bit of practice, he can pull off different styles though. As for jewellery and accessories? He’s not really the type to wear them all the time, but if you count a platinum thumb ring, a wallet chain, and a gold crucifix as fashion accessories, by all means count that as something Maddox will always wear.

He’s got into his fair share of scrapes over the years and that’s given him a nice but small collection of war wounds. The biggest scar that he has is a three inch scar on the inside of his thigh from a bar fight that got out of control when he was human. A couple of inches higher and the broken bottle could have nicked something important. He has a self done tattoo from when he was younger, it’s on the inside of his wrist and all it says is ‘carpe diem’ in small black letters. [/LIST][b]Face Claim:[/b] Taylor Kitsch.

[b]Strengths:[/b] [LIST]• Get's the "job" done at the end of the day. Whatever the task may be. • Listens to people, despite what people say. • Knows when to keep his mouth shut around alphas. Barely. • Fast on his feet in both forms. • Some street smarts. • Working on the fly. • He likes pain, uses it as a focus at times. • He doesn't give into his violent nature easy. • His animal instincts. • He doesn't care if he lives or dies much. [/LIST][b]Weaknesses:[/b] [LIST]• Always needs to feed after a shift. • His half and half form takes too much energy and can knock him on his butt for hours after. • He's got a bit of an issue with authority figures. He's working on it! • Silver…it hurts like a…well, you get the picture. • Pain, after all there is a fine line between pain and pleasure. • Attractive females. Point in case with Isabella.   • Children. If one's hurt because of him, he'll kick himself. • Magic tricks. Curiousity and cats...Ya know how that goes. • He has too kind a heart at times and it's gotton him hurt. • His flair for drama at times. [/LIST][b]Likes:[/b] [LIST]• Practising lock picking. He’s yet to find one he can’t unlock. • Gambling for something better to do. • Drinking instead of talking. • Smoking. He smokes more when he's nervous. • Sex. Oh hush your face.   • Tinkering with his truck. • Keeping in contact with the Catamount. • Swimming. • Climbing trees and the like as a cat. • Fish and chips. It beats cooking. • Music over silence. • Magic tricks. • Pissing off idiots to see when they'll snap. • Sleeping the day away when he can. [/LIST][b]Dislikes:[/b] [LIST]• Having nothing to do. • Crowds. He panics a little and stays to the edges. • Having to keep Izzy out of cougar business. • Getting dragged into things that don't concern him. • Football. He's never been a fan of sports really. • Things over his nose and mouth. • RPIT cops! Or any kind of law really. • Uncalled for clan challenges. • Idiots that think they know it all. • Bad sex. Eh...Yeah. • Having no cash. • Morning TV. • Tea. There's just something wrong with it. • People that hurt others for the hell of it. • Sleep! Yeah, he's just a bit odd. [/LIST][b]Personality:[/b][LIST]Jackson isn’t the most trusting of people, preferring to keep his mouth shut at times and eyes open. It isn’t that he’s got nothing to say, he’s got plenty to say, he just doesn’t know how to communicate what he wants to say half the time and it annoys him. It’s a problem, but he’s slowly working through his communication issues. A little jaded and used to getting the short end of the stick, he’s become a good people watcher and likes to take a guess on what people are thinking by simply watching their body language. It doesn’t mean that he’s always right, just a little paranoid. And besides! An attractive face can be his downfall too you know...

I suppose you could say that he’s very loud in his own way. He has a bit of an anger issue sure, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be fun. Jax has a habit of putting himself in tricky situations and mouthing off at the wrong people, and more times than enough, getting his ass kicked. He’s been told that he’s anti social, ok he can roll with that. Still, most of the time Jax uses actions instead of words to get his meaning across and that suits him quite well.

He can be sarcastic, and charming and even violent at times, Rhodes has been known to lash out and think about his actions later. People have questioned his decision making skills before, and he’ll always tell people the same thing, he works on the fly. Jax would rather someone say a silent thank you to him, instead of drawing it out as displaying emotions isn’t one of his strong points and expressing what he wants to say is hard for him. He can do touchy feely well enough but that doesn’t mean anything if there is no feeling in it. To give the sarcastic, slightly flirty male his due, he does have a nasty streak running through him that demands he causes drama some times.

Some things just really annoy him, while he keeps away from people normally; he won’t stand for someone abusing those weaker then themselves, or power. That’s when his protective streak will kick in and he’ll lash out in anger against those that cause the pain and misery. When he lashes out and loses his cool, Jax won’t regret that he did anything, even if he’s punished and humiliated, he’ll take it all with a smirk. Earning his trust and respect is a hard thing to do, but once someone does earn that, there is no way in hell Jax would willingly walk away from them. He’s a survivor and does what he needs to do, he doesn't care what people think of him. There is no better way to describe him. [/LIST][b]History:[/b] [LIST]Jackson Rhodes was born to Linda and Clayton Rhodes, in the city of London, mid April in the year 1984. He was a surprise birth, as the doctors had told his parents from the start of their marriage that Linda could not bear any child in her womb, and being an old money family, they saw every doctor that specialized in that area, no matter the cost. As it was, Jackson came into the world kicking and screaming like any other normal healthy baby.

Growing up the spoilt child, he stoically bared the love of his smothering mother even though she made him want to hurt things. A desperate housewife to the extreme, that’s the easiest way to describe his mother. As for his father, well a workaholic that liked to stay late and make sure everything in the import and export company was running smoothly before coming home and smothering his son almost as much as his mother, well it was an odd childhood. Though from the age of three, Jackson had picked up a liking for magic, and as he grew from a little boy that would hide behind his father’s legs when extended family came to their small estate just outside of London, well into the country that they could have peace, but close enough to the city that they had everything they needed and would be close to work if there was an emergency.

Now many people would have gotten him out there, meeting children his own age, his parents treated him like the boy in the plastic bubble in that respect. Now that was what caused him to rebel against what he knew, he put himself out there, flatly refused to go to any posh school that only taught things that would get people nowhere in real life, instead he opted to go to a normal secondary school with normal children. Rhodes never lost his flair for magic tricks, and would practice them anytime, anywhere, whenever he could. For that alone, people thought he was an oddball (and he is, but we won't go into that here). That simply washed over the young Rhodes, his teachers encouraged him to keep up with something he obviously liked doing, and they had no reason to complain as he was a level student in class. As smart and as clever as young Rhodes was, he didn’t see the day when his father messed up royally loosing the family business to a rival company.

Well it wasn’t the end of the world so to speak, he his friends, his talents, everything would be ok. Yeah, ok Jackson looked at this like any young adult would like their parents were going to split up. He saw it as his fault. His bright innocence turned into something colder, and he accepted it as his grades plummeted and he began to drift away from his friends. For a year, as his antics became erratic, he stopped acting the fool and dropped the magic show that he’d lived in most of his life. Around year ten of secondary school Jackson began to drift around life with a new group of friends. These truant friends taught him new magic tricks, somewhere in him he knew that it was wrong to boost cars and steal from the back of open vans, but he did it anywhere, determined to help his family out of the ever expanding abyss. When he turned up at his father’s study one day with seven grand in cash from his new extracurricular activities that he’d hidden from his parents for nearly three years, his pop hit the roof demanding where Jackson had gotten the cash from.

The little boy in him cringed at the sight of his father so angry, but he didn’t back down from offering the cash even when his mother came in and decided she’d bite his head off too. After a long and boring screaming match, he walked away from them both having tossed the money up in the air and headed to his room. Within fifty minuets, he was walking away from his parents for good with a duffle bag over his shoulder holding things he’d need. The heir to the broken family fortune no longer.

He flat to rent in lower east London, and any idea that walking away from his family had been a rash decision flew the coop as he embraced a seedier nature that his high school friends had began to cultivate, though surprisingly he began to take up magic tricks again, unknowingly needing it as a safety blanket. By the age of twenty one, he was stealing, drinking, smoking, whoring, and oddly enough performing children’s parties, saving what cash he could in various accounts and selling on anything he stole before the cops could poke their noses into any “business” dealings.

That was when he met her, she was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, or rather a cougar in a black velvet mini dress on the hunt for dinner. A sucker for a pretty face, and long legs, the cold Rhodes flirted ignoring his friends as they heckled from somewhere behind the two. Chemistry between them was as clear as day, and both took off back for Jax’ place. The sex was great! He did have doubts when she said she was allergic to latex, but one thing led to another and safe sex was drop kicked out of the window. He didn’t even mind the fact she clawed his back up when he found her and the loose change in his wallet gone the next morning.

His fate was sealed and though he didn’t know it at the time, so life went on. When the next month rolled around sluggishly, he began to feel odd, like something inside him wanted to get out. Putting it down to a bug he’d caught, Rhodes cancelled the three shows he had the following week and locked himself away in his flat, even calling his friends and telling them not to show up unless he called. The night of the full moon rolled around, Jackson went to never, never dream again land, as his body changed into that of a cougar. It’s safe to say he put it down to his body needing to heal and kick out whatever was invading his system, which he had simply slept the time away.

When it happened again, and again, he began, he ignored it, until one day, he passed out in front of a camcorder. He’d been practising a new trick, and had always used some kind of recorder so he could watch himself over again. When he saw a cougar in his place the morning after, he hit the bottle and shrugged it off figuring it was a bad dream…

A bad dream that he’s lived through for just over four years, it forced him to move out of London, and being no good with choosing things, he put a pin in a map, and Bobs your uncle, Fanny’s your aunt, that pin landed on Jackford. He has a few secrets of his own, and he can tell the residents have their own troubles. Though one little leopard has won his attention and he can count on her. [/LIST]

[staticscreenwriting]

Casual Moths - Chapter three

Chapter one //  Chapter two //

Chapter three - princesses and heroes

The sky is a vibrant shade of blue and not a cloud is to be seen as Callie drives down the streets of downtown Santo Padre, Daisy on the back and the freshly made flower arrangement on the passenger seat.

It’s early in the morning, not even ten but as soon as the flowers had been delivered, Callie had set her mission in creating the perfect flower arrangement for Angel and EZ.

Now, as she glanced to her work next to her, she can’t help but smile in pride of what she’s created. The fact that she gets to do this for a living, dream up beautiful bouquets and make them become a reality, is a dream she’s had since she was a little girl but never something she truly believed would come true.

When all her friends went off to College, Calli started working at the local flower shop in the little suburb of Chicago where she’d spent most of her teenage years. At first it was just sweeping the floor and helping out whenever a new order of flowers came in but it soon evolved into a full blown apprenticeship. And now she finally has her own shop. Her baby. Located at the same place her grandfather had opened a hardware store all those years ago. Where her father had met her mother. Where he family’s stories started.

“ Mommy, can we watch frozen again when we get home ? “ Daisy asks from the backseat, pulling Callie from her daydream.

On the inside, Callie lets out a groan. It’s not that she dislikes the movie, it’s just that she’s seen it a hundred times. A thousand. A million probably. But this is her baby girl and if she wants to watch frozen, if it makes her happy, Callie would suffer through yet another rendition of let it go.

“ Sure baby “.

That’s the plan for today. Deliver the arrangement then go home and spend the day watching movies and eating sweets and maybe hang out with aunt Jess.

Only plans never work out, do they ?

Just as the round the corner by the diner and drive past the church, the car starts to make weird rattling sounds. Callie can feel it stuttering. This doesn’t sound good. Not even a little. Not even at all.

They get just a little further before the car stops moving entirely sending threat through Callie’s body. Sure she is doing alright financially but that doesn’t mean she has the money to splurge on a new car.

“ Daisy ? Earmuffs ! “ Callie demands waiting for the little girl to cover her ears. It’s a thing they made up a while ago, when Callie really needs to let out a swear but can’t do it in front of Daisy. She knows Daisy can hear most of the time but it’s a sign for the little girl to not repeat it, at least not at this age.

Callie lets out a “Fuck” then punches the steering wheel. When it rains it really pours, huh ?

“ What’s wrong mommy ? “ Daisy asks, having lowered her hands and clearly noticing the distress on her mother’s face, mirroring it as Callie looks at her through the rearview.

“ I think our car is broken, baby “

“ Oh no “ Daisy replies with worry lacing her voice but obviously not realizing the gravity of the situation.

“ We’ll be okay, though. Promise. “ And Callie never breaks her promises, at least not the ones to her daughter.

Callie fumbles the phone out of her purse, wondering just who to call in this situation. She hasn’t made a lot of friends yet and her mother is a lovely woman but rather useless when it comes to fixing cars. She wishes her dad was still here. He always knew what to do. Always had a solution for every single problem. And dad was great with cars. He could get even the biggest piece of trash to work again. God, she misses her dad like crazy. Her dad and Jack.

Jack would know what to do too. It’s then when she looks at Daisy again. Though she looks so similar to herself, Callie can see so much of Jack in her. His smile and the way he wrinkled his nose when he was frustrated. Her laugh is his. Her cleverness is his. Her humor is his. He’s there in all she does and if both kills and excites Callie.

God if only her boys were still here.

But they aren’t.

The phone rings once, twice, before a sleepy sounding Jess answers with a slurred “Hello ? “

“ Did you just wake up ? “

“ It’s saturday and it’s — 9:46. Let me enjoy the weekend. Why are you even calling me this early ? “ Jess complains, clearly being shaken out of a deep slumber.

“ My car broke down. “

There’s only silence for a moment before a rather confused Jess speaks up again “ … and you want me to do what exactly ? “

“ Well I was hoping you could uh — call Letty for me and have her ask Angel if he could meet with me to —? “

“ Angel ? “ Jess asks and Callie can all but see the teasing smirk spreading on her lips.

“ It’s not like that. I have a floral arrangement for him and I can’t very well carry it over there. It’s big. “

“ Whatever you say “ Jess teases further “ where are you ? “

“ North Street. Just past the church “

“ Yikes.”

“ I know. Just — can you do that for me without being sneaky about it ? “

“ Suuuure “ Jess says but there’s something in the way she says it that makes Callie believe that none of that is entirely honest.

“ Thanks. “

“ No need. “

It’s only about 10 minutes later that Callie spots the black car rounding the corner and stopping behind her car. Angel gets out and walks over towards her and Daisy who lean against the vehicle.

There’s a certain sway in his walk, confident and proud but it’s so contradictory to that all consuming sadness in his eyes. He’s so hard to figure out. Callie wonders just how much there is to unravel with Angel. Callie wonders if she wants to learn it all.

“ Hey ladies. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes “ he jokes as he gets closer. He places a kiss on Callie’s cheeks rendering the woman speechless and surprised for a second. “ Hola, bonita “. His voice is hoarse and deep and soft and quiet all the the same time and it sends tingles down Callie’s spine. Like some stupid highschool crush.

“ Hey, thanks for coming. I have the bouquet on the passenger seat, let me get it real quick.” Callie says before attempting to rush towards the other side of the car, only for Angel to hold onto her arm, softly keeping her in place.

“ Nah, I’m here for you girls. I’m your rescue mission. Ain’t just here to get the flowers and bail. “

“ Rescue us ? Like a prince ? “ Daisy chimes up from her mother’s side.

Angel squats down to her height again and it’s something Callie really appreciates. Daisy, being the age now that they start to feel like they’re little adults, hates being talked down to. Angel actually taking the time to get on eye level with her, makes Callie’s heart grow about 3 sizes.

“ I don’t know if I’d say I’m a prince but how about uh — how about a knight ? “

“ Yes “ Daisy agrees and smiles at Angel who holds out his hand for a high five from the little girl.

“ Look at you by the way, you’re really rocking that jacket “ Angel notices and points at Daisy’s little pink leather jacket. “ Real bada— real cool “.

“ Yuh. Real cool “ Daisy repeats, a grin on her face.

“ If you keep spoiling her with compliments that ego’s gonna go through the roof one of these days. And I’ll be the one who’s gonna have to deal with it. “

“ Ah you’ll be fine “ Angel murmures, walking towards the front of the car and opening the bonnet to access the damage done. “ She got it all from her mama so you can let that ego grow alongside hers.”

His eyes meet her over past the car and they hold an intensity Callie isn’t used to. It’s like for a moment the sadness is gone but the depth and the warmth has doubled. It’s making her heart race. What the fuck is he doing to her.

There’s no answer to his words either. None that was sufficient. None that could balance perfectly on the line she refuses to cross. The one between harmless flirting and giving in to the desires swirling inside of her.

“ Well, I hate to break it to you but this doesn’t look good. We got a tow truck at the scrapyard. Let me take you girls there. I’ll send one of the boys to get your car, see if we can fix it. “

“ How much do you think that would cost me ? “ Callie asks with a loo of despair clouding her face.

Angel doesn’t answer. Not with words at least. He gives her  a look that perfectly displays the “are you kidding me” question.

“ Nothing “

“ Angel —”

“ Nah don’t even start. You ain’t paying a god damn cent. Told you the club would help you ladies so let me help. “

Callie wonders if it’s really the club or if it’s just Angel. Either way, she’s grateful.

“ Thank you, really. “

“ Don’t mention it. Now grab your stuff. Let’s go ladies. “ He says and closes the bonnet before sweeping Daisy up in his arms and carrying her towards his car.

Callie quickly grabs all their stuff and the flowers before getting into Angel’s car, Daisy already retelling the entire plot of Frozen to a sincerely interested looking Angel.

“ Wait, she has ice powers ? “ he asks the little girl who throws up her hands in enthusiasm. “ Yes ! And she put snow all over the village !”

“ Huh, no way. “

Calli can’t suppress her laughter at the adorable interaction between Angel and her daughter. It’s so natural. He really listens and yes his reactions might be a bit overdone but he never makes her feel silly and that’s something Callie really appreciates.

“ Do you like snow, Angel ? “ Daisy asks him, dark eyes expectantly watching him through the rearview mirror.

“ Uh, not really. I’m more of a summer kinda guy. What about you, princess ? “

Daisy lets out a deep sigh “ I don’t remember. I was so little when we had snow in Chicago. Mommy says I liked it. “

Angel’s eyes move towards Callie, eyebrow raised in question “ Chicago, eh ? “

“ Yup. Lived there for most of my life. Was born here though, in Santo Padre ? “

“ Yeah ? What made you guys leave ? “

The woman shrugs her shoulders, honestly she was way too young to remember their move. Just a baby really. Chicago was her home but Santo Padre always held a certain kind of magic. It was warm and sunny and she loved when they came to visit her grandparents over the summer. Her grandmother always made the best food and her grandpa always took her to his shop with him and gave her all kids of sweets. Those were the happiest days.

“ Honestly, I think my parents just needed to get away from their parents. They were young when they had me. They wanted to give me the best life they could and that also included education and possibilities. Dad got a great job offer over in Illinois and mom found work as a nurse. They worked their asses off to pay for my school and then Jess came along and they worked even harder. But then when it was time for me to leave the nest and Jess about to go to High School they decided that their hearts were still here and that nothing held them back in Chicago. So they moved back. “

“ And you ? “

“ Well I had a job at a flower store and a — uh a fiance and my life was over there. But now I don’t have either of those things so nothing held me there anymore. Then my dad got sick and it was all the more reason to come back. “

“ Where’s her dad ? He bail ? “ It’s brash and brutal and honestly he doesn’t think about the words as they slip out. You don’t ask shit like that, Angel knows this. But sometimes his mouth works too fast for his brain.

“ Uh —no. No he died. “

Well now he feels like an absolute asshole.

“ ‘m sorry. “

“ It’s fine. You didn’t know. “

And it’s then, that Angel realizes that this woman isn’t the damsel in distress he’s rescuing. She’s a goddamn superhero. Her fiance died. Her father died. She’s a single mom and owns her own flower shop. She’s badass.

“ You’re badass. “

“ Hmm ? “

“ Raising her by yourself. Going through the shit you been through. The store. You make it look so easy. That’s badass. “

“ It’s not easy “ Callie says before turning towards him and granting him one of her heart-stopping, radiant smiles “ but thank you. I — thank you“

It’s quiet for a moment, comfortable. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and everyone is just … content for a second. But that doesn’t last for very long.

Through the side mirror, Callie catches a glimpse of a car driving behind them. It’s a silver car. The same car she’d seen the other day at the scrapyard. The same car she’d been trying to tell herself was just A silver car. A car that was sold to a lot of people at a lot of places. Only now there is no denying this anymore. No matter how hard she wants to tell herself. It’s time to face the truth. This is the silver car.

“ You alright ? “ Angel asks as he notices her stiffen up next to him and the horrified expression on her face.

This isn’t Angel’s fight. Not his mess. But at this point, Callie is afraid, it’s too late to not get him involved. He’s been seen with her and that’s enough for an unreasonable psycho to go after him.

So it has to be the truth now.

“ That silver car. It’s following us. “

“ I noticed. “

“ That’s the same car that drove by the scrapyard when I was there to pick up Jess’ phone. “

“ You know who that is ? “

Callie nods and swallows down her fear of judgement. Angel lives a reckless life, he’s going to understand, right ?!

“ Yeah. I do. He’s another reason I decided to leave Chicago “.

Angel’s features harden. The warmth is gone from his eyes and replaced with fire she’s not seen in him yet. “ You gonna tell me what’s the deal with that ? If he follows me I sure think I deserve the whole story.”

And he does. He deserves to know now that she pulled him into this chaos.

“ Jack, my fiance, when I met him he was involved with some shady people and I I was stupid. I thought that was exciting and fun, for a while. Then I got pregnant and we realized that we had to take responsibility. Jack got himself cleaned up, got a proper job, we got settled at our own little house. He had this friend called Travis. Real weird guy always following Jack around like a lost puppy. But when Jack sorted out his shit we tried to get Travis straightened out as well. And it worked, for a while. Then he got real … shady. Got in fights with Jack all the time. When Jack passed away Travis kept showing up at my place. Pretending like he could replace Jack and become a father to Daisy. I slept with him once, one time when Daisy was just a little baby and I was exhausted and at the edge of my nerves. I needed to feel something other than exhaustion and sadness and he took advantage of that. So then afterwards, he took that as an invitation to insert himself into every part of my life. Got controlling as fuck. He stalked me. I tried to run from him. Told him I was gonna move to the east coast to be with Jack’s family. Seems like he found out the truth. “

“ He dangerous ? “ Angel asks through gritted teeth.

“ I don’t know. He’s just — creepy. “

“ Jesus “ Angel exclaims and combs his fingers through his hair in frustration. “ You want me to deal with him ? “

Callie raises her eyebrow in question, not wanting to believe he means what she thinks he means.

“ Like — like kill him ? “

“ Nah. I’ll talk to him. Make him understand that if he messes with you or the kid he’ll have the club to deal with. Has me to deal with. “

There’s a weird feeling spreading through her body. Knowing that Angel wants to protect her and Daisy, that makes her feel good, supported and safer to a certain degree. But there’s a bigger part, and overwhelmingly loud voice inside of her, that tell her to get out now and not pull Angel into something he shouldn’t have to deal with. His life is probably complicated enough there’s no need for her to make it harder.

“ No. No I can’t ask that of you. That’s not your mess. I’m sure he’ll get bored of following me eventually.”

Angel shakes his head in disbelief “ He won’t. Guys like that don’t get bored. They get comfortable. Cocky. And then what if something happens ? To you “ he says then glances in the rearview mirror “ to her”.

It’s her biggest fear spoken out loud. That something bad could ever happen to Daisy. Something that Callie should be in control of. Something she brought onto them. Something she caused. Something she could’ve stopped.

There’s no words to answer him. None that would possibly be able to express just how she feels. So she stays silent and tries to hold the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes.

“ You aren’t asking. I’m offering. “ It’s all he says before he slows down the car and pulls over towards the side of the road, signaling with his arm for the silver car to do the same. Only it doesn’t.

It slows down too as it drives past them. Callie can’t quite catch a glimpse of the driver, though Angel can. The dude looks rough. Not in the sense that he looks dangerous, more like he hasn’t slept in days. His hair is long and greasy and he’s wearing thick black sunglasses. There’s a scowl on his face and he glances towards Angel, towards Callie.

Then, just as Angel thinks he got the hint to pull to the side as well, the silver car speeds up again and turns the corner before either of them can react.

“ This dude ain’t shit. He looks like a fucking nerd. “

“ He is. “

“ Fucking creep. You know the license plate ? “

Callie nodds.

“ Good. Gonna have the guys watch out for the car. EZ can watch out for you for the next few nights, patrol the street. See if he shows up again “.

Callie shakes his head at the sheer thought of that. EZ has a life. She doesn’t need him to be involved as well. This is getting too much, too fast.

“ Yeah no. You can’t ask your brother to babysit me “.

Angel laughs at that and it takes a bit of tension out of the situation. His laugh is radiant. It’s warm and inviting and comforting.

“ He’s a prospect I can ask him to do anything “

- OOO -

Daisy Cordell has the gift that all little girls have, she can wrap any person around her finger with just a smile.

As she sits on the picnic table outside of the Mayan’s clubhouse, a crowd of big biker guys has gathered around her and listens with pure adoration as she recalls the entire plot of the movie Tangled.

Callie can’t help but chuckle at the sight.

“ She got them all wrapped around her pinky now. “ Angel says as he approaches her, cigarette hanging from his lips. He sent of Coco to get Callie’s car, not wanting to leave her side for now. Not after what he’s discovered. Not after looking that creep in the eyes.

“ Yeah, she’s got that effect on people “.

“ So does her mama “

Callie looks up at Angel, searching for a hint of teasing, sarcasm, something. But there’s none of that. He’s serious and it both excites and scares her. This is dangerous territory. Letting herself go. Letting herself be weak that one time, has caused her so much trouble. She can’t be going around doing shit like that again. No matter how much she wants to give into him. Let themselves grow closer. No matter how much she already starts to trust him.

They’ve only known each other for a few weeks. There’s no going around falling for biker guys you know for a few weeks. People don’t do that. Mother’s don’t do that.

So Callie won’t. No matter how much she wants to.

“ You need to stop flirting with me “ she declares, earning nothing but a smirk from Angel.

“ Why’s that ? You don’t seem too bothered by it. “

“ Because I can’t give you what you want. I can’t. I don’t do just fun. Just casual, no strings attached stuff. I got a kid, there’s always strings now. I uh — I did it before and looks where it go me. Now I gotta move halfway across the US to keep me and my kid safe and even that didn’t work. “

Angel throws the cigarette stub to the floor before closing the space between them and taking her face in between his big rough hands.

“ I’m not like that guy, okay ? I get it. I do. If you want me to stop, I’ll stop. We don’t gotta be anything other than friends. I get it I’m not that great a catch and my life is — it’s a lot. I ain’t asking you to marry me or anything. But don’t compare me to that creep. I would never NEVER put you or the kid in danger. I’m not that kind of guy. I might not be a saint by any means but I’m not like that. I’ll never be. “

There’s a depth in his eyes that makes Callie feel like she can see right into his soul. He looks so vulnerable, so scared. Like it kills him to think she’d even consider comparing him to Travis.

“ I’m a bad guy, I know that but even I am not that horrible. “ his voice is raspy and deep and it shakes and Callie wonders if he really believes he’s a bad guy. If no one ever made him realize that making bad decisions in the past doesn’t stop him from being the good guy in another story. So far he’s been nothing but the good guy in her’s.

Bad guys get the grand entrances and the epic monologues. They come in black outfits and with rough demeanours and tragic backstories. At least they do in the movies. They don’t get the girl though or the cheer of the crowd or the love of the audience.

Angel fits the mold so perfectly with the constant scowl and the issues and the all consuming sadness.

But he’s not. Because life isn’t like the movies. Life makes good guys in leather cuts with scowls on their faces. Good guys with sad eyes.

And sometimes they don’t even know they’re the hero of the story.

Sometimes they have to be told. With words and touches. With a kiss.

Her lips softly press against his cheek. They’re warm and comfortable and it’s been a while since Angel has felt such a gentle touch against his skin that wasn’t laced with the promise of meaningless sex to follow. This is different. But good different. Not like butterflies but like a hurricane sweeps through his entire body.

He’s a good guy, Callie thinks, and maybe just maybe she gets to keep this one spark that life has granted her in this time of darkness. Where only Daisy’s light has kept her going, maybe Angel can shine alongside them. And even if it’s just a fleeting moment. Just a tiny second. For that one moment things feel less scary.

And as her kid is occupied with charming the entire rest of the MC, Callie lets herself ignore the fact that Angel probably doesn’t want this kind of life. Mother and child. Doesn’t want to be tied down to a family with so much baggage.

She let’s herself ignore all that for a moment of bliss after a day of such chaos.

Because sometimes you just gotta let yourself breathe.

“ You’re a good guy, Angel Reyes.”

- OOO -

Taglist:  @world-from-my-viwe , @carlaangel86, @genius2050, @brokenandrising, @captainsamwlsn, @starrynite7114 ,

[ofgeneration]

━ ✧ ( nico mirallegro, 26, he/him ) did you hear about generation’s new record ? it’s totally bitchin’ ! isaac carberry was killing it as lead vocalist. people who have interviewed him say they’re really quixotic & convivial, but they can be sort of impish & ungovernable if you catch him at a bad time. a mischievous grin, northern grit, your ex-record label’s offices looking like a jackson pollock after getting your revenge in the form of vandalism.

hello, my loves! — i’m jess, i’m 22 and over in rainy england. i’m recently done with university which gives me a lot of downtime until i find a job so hopefully i can dedicate a lot of that downtime to this fuckin’ rp because it’s gonna be lit i just know it. i’m a huge stone roses fan and 80s/90s-music-obsessed in general so getting to play this character is super exciting for me, so without further ado, meet my trash son: mr isaac carberry. PLEASE HMU FOR PLOTS!

BACKGROUND

born 14th april 1960 in manchester, england to a normal working-class family, isaac was the first born child of james & rose carberry, with a younger sister coming along a few years later. the little family of four lived fairly happily, but struggled financially just as many people did in northern england at the time. 

when isaac was five, his father lost his job as a result of coalmine closures, and times were tough. however, the family kept their spirits high by keeping close-knit, as well as listening to a whole lotta’ music. music was key in the carberry household. it was all around you at all times.

when times would get particularly bleak, his dad would pick up an guitar and play to the kids. he wasn’t very good but watching someone play an instrument and have fun with it sparked something in the eyes of isaac carberry.

tw violence, corporal punishment — during his teenage years, he was a problem child. he was the kid that always got pulled out of class by the headmaster to receive the cane in his office. he could never sit still, was always cracking jokes when he should’ve been doing his schoolwork, etc. it wasn’t talked about at the time, so it went unnoticed, but what isaac was probably dealing with was undiagnosed ADHD. despite this, though, he was a clever child. he had a way with words and looked forward to english class every week, where he would take great pleasure in writing exercises, especially poetry. 

writing was a dreamy, escapist haven for isaac, and this extended to his life outside of school, too. the works he was producing were mostly tongue-in-cheek, light-hearted stories and poems with a recurring “stop taking life so seriously” theme. when he turned 16, however, these poems began to turn into songs. this started to take up a lot of his time especially when he finished secondary school at 16 and went onto sixth form college, where he took music alongside english.

isaac desperately wanted to learn to play guitar, so that he could form some structural melodies to these songs, but struggled with honing the skill of learning an instrument. luckily, when he was 18, he made three friends who could do just that. the four kids would bounce ideas off of each other and hold jam sessions in the tiny little basement of isaac’s family home, but things never went much further than that (at least not yet, anyway.)

isaac decided against going to university, mostly since his family lacked the funds, and instead picked up a full-time job in a grocery store to help out his household’s shared income. 

in 1979, margaret thatcher came into power as the UK’s prime minister, and times got even bleaker. money was even tighter and the working-class situation became an even harder one to be in. the carberry family started sending isaac out on the street after work to sing some of his songs for tips. 

in 1983, aged 23, isaac was in a dark place. no opportunity, no degree, no wealth in the family to fall back on. he ‘rallied up the troops’ so to speak and practically begged his friends to start a band with him. he had plenty of material, after all.

to his relief, they said yes, and were determined to make it work. they were hungry for attention and throwing themselves at any gig opportunities they could get, to get them a bit of money into their pockets. that was it, GENERATION was truly alive and kicking.

at a show supporting another band, generation were noticed by a fellow musician, who took a shine to the band and booked them to support his upcoming uk tour. thus, the band were rising to prominence. fast forward a year and before isaac even had the chance to process it, generation were shaping up to be the biggest band in the uk. isaac could finally give his family everything they needed to better their situation and was having the most amazing time ever doing what he loved.

after independently releasing their own singles, the band got themselves a record deal in early 1985 and released their first full record, a self-titled album. their management wanted to introduce them to US audiences, and thus — that’s how we find ourselves here. 

PERSONALITY

ok sorry for that LONG ass background here’s the nice lil fun part where we can just dick around lmao hey meet my baby boy chaotic aries who is a lovable mess and i will protect him at all costs

literally so much of his personality is inspired by myself lmao we love an aries legend with ADHD but also i owe some of his characterization to the stone roses’ ian brown so if you ever want a look into isaac, watch some interviews or smth because Big Isaac Mood. the last aesthetic in his app references this video

nice, but a fuckin firecracker of a man. intense boi!! he’s a Lot

on first impressions he’s cool and collected and laidback but when you get to know him he can be very exhausting to be around, talks a lot, never tires of energy, etc

has that lopsided, wonky grin that you can’t help but love

lowkey isn’t really overwhelmed by the fame at all, he’s kind of narcissistic in the fact that he??? just feels like it’s really deserved? he knows hes talented jfjhgfjkghf

lowkey maybe highkey a sweetheart

a favourite with the ladies but not good w commitment

has slept around a lot. ladies, fellas, you name it. probably has it in him to settle down someday since he likes the idea of falling in love, but just hasn’t found it as of yet 

charisma literally oozes from him

tw drugs & alcohol / dOeSnT LiKe To sHoW eMoTioNs but then will literally cry w u and pour his heart out if you’re close enough to him or if he’s hella drunk or high on ecstasy 

Reyt fokin’ northern accent, yeh get meh?

man i dont even know can i just post this dumb shit already because this is getting LONG

WANTED CONNECTIONS

ex-girlfriend / groupie — i have this as a wc on the main

best friends will prob be taken by his bandmates but at the time of writing this only one other spot is taken so maybe ill branch out

give me some ppl who just DONT fucking like him

hookups / ex-hookups

someone he can be a bad influence on

someone who is a bad influence on him

someone he’s had beef w in the industry, maybe they said some shit about his band in an interview or something

a slow burn love interest plot................. listen.... gimme the one person he’s falling for and would consider being tied down for. i’d be so soft for that

gimme anything and everything my babies