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sso-montana · 2 months ago

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Wings, hearts, some things are meant to be torn apart

Word Count: 3k+ Rating: Mature Warnings: violence, implied character death, vulgar language, descriptions of injuries, blood mention OC's Mentioned: Rachel Harrow @starstable-eve, Alina @alinasteelcrest, Carolina @carolina-nightjar

[Even in a zombie apocalypse Montana didn't expect something like this to happen. All she had wanted was to look for old Jasper, not have her humanity taken from her.]

As the head drops from the zombies shoulders its body soon follows. Montana was panting from exhaustion, pulling the blue scarf she had wrapped around her head down to allow more air to flow into her lungs. It was a safety precaution to stop any potentially zombie fluids from entering her system while… taking care of them.

The thought of zombie blood or saliva getting into her mouth was also, simply put, fucking disgusting.

“Onyx?” As she called out there came a low whine in response before a head popped out from behind a boulder not too far away. With a last look around what had once been a small zombie group that had been separated from the Silverglade Horde she let out a sigh and swung her axe over her shoulder. The shire came walking towards her, stopping only to sniff at a severed head before snorting in disgust and continuing his walk. As his hind legs passed the skull he gave a forceful kick against it, sending it flying straight into a bush.

The girl couldn't help but chuckle at her horse's attitude. At least some things hadn't changed since the start of all… this.

Really, Onyx's attitude had not let up even a single bit. The tantrum he had thrown before, whilst and especially after she had cut his mane and tail for his own safety had been the worst one she had ever seen.

Truth be told, it had hurt her, too. Justin and her had always threatened to cut them because of how terrible the grooming process was. Of course they’d never gone through with it, after all Onyx had always taken pride in his mane and tail (Montana wanted to judge him for it, really, but who was she to do so, considering how important her hair was for her, too?). It had been nothing more than a joke.

But actually having to do it because it could one day be the difference between life and death for him…

Shaking her head the former blacksmith apprentice turned her focus back on the present. Her fingers didn't feel the warmth from Onyx’s nose as she gently stroked it.

Of course she didn't. It had been ages since she had been able to feel any kind of warmth. The wildlife she hunted and cooked for food didn't feel warm to her, either. It wasn't cold and for the tiniest of seconds she was almost able to feel the heat of it as she bit down but immediately after the meat simply felt… not cold. It was weird to describe it and even weirder to actually eat.

Not even fire itself was of any use to her. The bandage that wrapped around her lower left arm and was hidden beneath her thermo clothing was a cruel reminder of that. Had Onyx not cried out when it happened it was unlikely she would've noticed the burn at all.

“Ready to head over to Jasper's farm?”

A soft snort was all the response she got. Montana gave the shire one last pat on his nose before she placed her axe in the scabbard she had taken (stolen) from one of the abandoned Jorvik Rangers Stations in Mistfall and attached to Onyx's saddle before she swung herself on the horse's back.

With her plan of taking the mountain range path instead of riding past the Equestrian Center- or what was left of it- the trek towards Golden Hills was still a good hour away. The chance of encountering both zombies or other survivors were much lower that way which was just up to her liking. Weeding out zombies was exhausting and she didn't have the energy for that after today's stunt.

Looking up at the fading sun they'd most likely arrive after nightfall.

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ઇଓ

As she slipped through the metal gate Montana let out a string of curses. Her right hand had gotten caught on one of the broken metal bars and cut through her shirt. There was already a trail of blood forming, reaching from her index finger across the back of her hand all the way down to the right corner of her wrist.

Onyx let out a worried whine at her reaction, nervously scratching at the ground with his hoofs. He hadn't liked the idea of her looking for Jasper all on her own from the start.

“It's nothing. I'll be fine.”

Judging from his pinned back ears and continued scratching at the pavement her poor attempt at sounding reassuring wasn't working at all.

With a heavy sigh she motioned towards the riding arena to where Onyx, after a ten second stare down, started heading.

If he wanted to it would be no problem for the shire to kick down what was left of the gate, they both knew it. The only reason Onyx had refrained from doing so was that Montana wouldn't have it. Neither the noise nor the potential injuries were worth having him accompany her on the little trip. A five minute trip from the gate to the farm. Maybe she could make it in two if she ran. He was being dramatic.

Hopefully she wouldn't have to run.

Heading towards the old farm Montana couldn't help the sinking feeling in her stomach. Maybe it was wrong or even stupid to look for old man Jasper, but she had to. Not just for her own peace of mind but also the Moorlands. If she ever saw them again she could at least tell them about him. They were the only ones she still had left after her grandma had…

Pushing that memory back to the dark corners of her mind she started to observe her surroundings more closely.

There weren't any zombies around that she could see or hear. Not even the wolves that would usually howl at this time of night made a sound. No insects, no wind, nothing.

‘Something is wrong’ the thought kept repeating in the back of her mind as she got closer to the farmhouse. Something or someone was in the area that nature itself was terrified of.

‘Rule number one: if you're out in the wild and everything goes quiet, leave. Nature doesn't go silent unless something horrible is about to happen.’ It had been an offhand comment by one of the Jorvik Rangers- Rachel, maybe?- when they got talking after she had dropped off a delivery from the blacksmith. Back then Montana didn't think much of it, though after the incident she'd more than internalized that rule.

The sound of dry leaves crunching beneath her boots seemed deafeningly loud in the dead of night.

Trying to redirect her focus on the mission she had set for herself the uneasy feeling in her stomach only grew the closer she got to the house. It was hard to make out in the dark before but now she could see the front door was wide open, left hanging onto a single hinge that threatened to give out any second. Some of the windows were broken, the railing around the porch destroyed and even some of the tiles from the roof were missing.

There was no chance in hell Jasper was still around, at least not alive. She should go back. She knew she should go back. All she had to defend herself with was a knife- it wasn't bad, better than nothing, but the thought of being without her axe made her insides turn and not in a good way.

'It's fine. Calm down. At least look if there's some food left. That way the trip wasn't completely useless’ as she set foot on the porch the creaking of the wood almost caused her to turn around and make a run back to the gate right then and there.

She waited a second.

Then another one.

There was no reaction from… well, anything around her. No breeze, no sound of animals or zombies, no rustling of bushes or grass. Nothing changed. Just quiet. Too quiet.

It felt like a pair of eyes was watching her.

Shaking her head Montana mumbled to herself while walking over to the front door: “Get a grip.”

She was getting paranoid. Which was probably a good thing considering the whole zombie-apocalypse-shit that was going on. Better safe than bitten.

Still. It made her feel crazy, even if it was just a little bit.

Maybe she was turning crazy. When had she last held an actual conversation with another human being? Was it the time she had given that rider with the injured leg the warning about the collapsed bridge at Valedale Lake? Or when she shared some of her water with that blond-haired girl in Mistfall? These days everything seemed to blend in together.

Wake up. Travel around. Kill zombies. Look for food. Find shelter for the night. Repeat the next morning. The longest period of time she had spent in one place had been a week and that was back when she had been at the Valley.

Sitting around doing nothing felt wrong. Thinning out the zombies at least gave her a purpose. Like she was doing something useful.

Her thoughts came to a screeching halt as she entered the living room of the old farmhouse.

Flipped over furniture and broken glass was scattered around with books and photo frames thrown into the mix.

And the remnants of what had once been Jasper Holbrook laying on the floor.

It wasn't surprising, not really. Jasper had been old and stubborn and probably refused to join the G.V. because his farm “wasn't that far away.”

That didn't mean it didn't hurt. He was one of the last people she had left that she actually cared about, that she had considered family. To see his body mauled and eaten by those disgusting, wretched, abominations-

Blind rage or grief, it was hard to tell the cause of the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

'Don't cry. Don't you fucking cry.’

Swiftly turning around Montana headed to the kitchen, the back of her uninjured hand viciously rubbing at the corners of her eyes. Crying won't solve anything. It wouldn't help her, it sure as fuck wouldn't help Jasper. Finding food that hadn't been raided by survivors would help. Finding a first aid kit would help.

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ઇଓ

Canned green beans and pumpkin purée, crispbread and raisins. Sure, it wasn't the best selection of food and sure as hell not something the former blacksmith apprentice would usually go for, but who could afford to be picky in an apocalypse? The big bottles of water were a good addition as well. Something with more flavor would've been nice though.

‘Man, I miss Energy Drinks’

Did it feel silly thinking about missing the fuel for her caffeine and sugary drink addiction? Yes. Was it at least somewhat helpful in keeping her feel normal-ish? Also yes. Humor had always been her coping mechanism, much to the dismay of others, and now there was no one but Onyx to judge her for her warped sense of keeping spirits high. Or the attempt therefor.

There was still the feeling of dread following her as she sat down on the porch steps and pulled out the fresh bandages she had found in a first aid kit. Disinfectant wasn't something she had been able to acquire though so the bottle of vodka she had found needed to do.

Taking a sniff from the bottle the former blacksmith apprentice considered taking a sip before eventually deciding against it. Alcohol had never been something she actively sought out, at least not in a comforting way. Self-hatred had driven her to many things but at least alcoholism wasn't one of them.

She could almost hear Justins disapproving sigh in the back of her mind.

Her face twisted in discomfort as the bottle's contents poured over the torn skin of her hand. The sting common for alcohol coming into contact with wounds accompanied by the icy cold feeling of the liquor send multiple shivers down her spine. It was as if a thousand tiny icicles bore into the already aching wound. She quickly set down the now half empty bottle beside her as another colorful string of curses left her lips.

“Stupid stupid stupid sealed magic!”

Montana shook her hand vigorously as if she would be able to shake the pain away, too. Pressing down on the cut with a crumpled up tissue she let out a quiet groan. ‘The things I do to prevent a fucking infection.’

Justin should be proud of her. She was taking care of herself. Somewhat.

As soon as the aching had faded to a dull pain the girl removed the tissue and started wrapping the bandage around her hand. At the very least it had stopped bleeding.

After the rest of the vodka and bandages had been stowed away in her bag Montana stood up from the porch, giving her surroundings one last look before-

Snap

The world seemed to freeze. Her pulse skyrocketed. Blood pumped through her veins with such an intensity she almost felt warm. Her mind was racing, going through every possible scenario of what that could've been, of what she had to defend herself with, of what her chances of survival were depending on her opponent.

Every single fiber in her body told her to run, to flee, to get away from there holy shit your going to die-

Rustling. There was the slightest rustling coming from a bush not too far away and out of the corner of her eye she could see a hooded figure emerging from the direction.

Without a second or even first thought Montana started to sprint. Toward the gate, towards her exit, towards safety. It wasn't strategic or graceful or even thought through. It was pure, primal survival instinct.

There was commotion behind her. More rustling. The breaking of branches and crunching of leaves. Footsteps.

She didn't dare turn around. This wasn't a matter of who was stronger but who was faster. Luckily for her adrenaline and the fear of dying did wonders for one's presumed limits.

But it wasn't good enough.

Halfway across the path something jumped her back. The girl's face was smashed into the muddy ground beneath her feet, muffling her groaning and screaming. She faintly registered the pain shooting through her nose and temple as they collided with the ground but didn't dare to focus on it.

The weight on her back shifted, a hand pressing down her head while another pulled at her scarf and turtleneck. In a matter of milliseconds, before she even had any chance to do something, there were two sharp objects piercing her skin. Her cry was muffled by the mud, hands balling into fists as a pain shot from her neck through her nervous system.

Something was biting her and she was completely helpless.

'Fight.’

‘Fight!’

‘God-fucking-dammit fight you useless bitch!'

The all too familiar rage filling her veins helped fuel the fire in her chest. With not even half a mind on what she was doing and the rest focused on surviving Montana tried reaching for the knife strapped to her leg. Her right arm had been trapped under her own body and the struggle to get it out seemingly caught the attention of who or whatever had attacked her. The stinging pain in her neck deepened as the hand that presumably had held her clothes now was pushing down on her right shoulder.

This couldn't be it.

This wouldn't be it.

She was tough. She was strong. No fucking chance she would let herself be killed just like that.

Racking her brain for something she could do to escape other than uselessly wiggling her body beneath the weight on top of her and her left hand hitting against what was probably the back of the thing an idea finally popped into her mind.

Putting as much force as she could behind it Montana slammed her head up and back, colliding the back of her skull with the forehead of her attacker.

Finally. The things- teeth most likely now that she gave it an actual thought- left her neck as the thing above her cursed.

Without a second to lose she gave another headbutt, ignoring the pain it sent through her own skull, before putting all her energy into rolling them both over. After two rolls she managed to shake the thing- person?- off her back. After three she scrambled to her feet and started running towards the gate again, putting a good distance between her and her attacker.

Again, she didn't care to look at whatever had attacked her before starting to sprint. She needed to get out. Needed to get to Onyx and her axe. Survival was more important than information.

Slipping through the gate in a haste it seemed almost ironic that she didn't sustain any injuries now that she wasn't being careful.

There were no footsteps behind as she sprinted towards the riding arena, her legs carrying her even faster once she spotted Onyx’s silhouette in the distance.

Seeing his rider running towards him the shire didn't waste a second and started galloping towards her. Only once they had reached each other did the two of them stop, Montana panting from exhaustion as Onyx whined loudly and positioned himself between her and the direction of the gate, ears pinned back and nostrils flared.

As she heaved herself up into the saddle the girl didn't waste any time on waiting for only god knew what had attacked her to show itself.

“We're leaving.”

Her voice was raspy, eyes staring into space as she gripped the reins tightly and let Onyx take the lead, galloping towards the direction of the mountain path they had come from. The aches all over her body, her hand, neck, head and nose slowly started to register as her pulse calmed down.

‘What in the actual hell just happened?’

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ઇଓ

Montana doesn't know where she is. Actually, she doesn't remember anything that happened the last few days- weeks? Everything is a blurry mess. She doesn't remember how she got here, where Onyx is or why she was kneeling beside a corpse.

….

‘What?’

Her hands tremble as she looks over to the dead body laying beside her. The girl's jaw is slack, a silent scream leaving her pale lips. Her eyes are wide open, lifeless and staring into space.

There's a strong taste of iron in Montana’s mouth causing her to subconsciously lick her lips only for her tongue to graze something sharp. She winces, lifting one hand to tap along her lips and realizes her canine teeth are way sharper than she remembered. Longer too, now that she thought about it.

Thirsty. She was so, so thirsty. As if she hadn't had a single drop of water in weeks. Looking around for any possible source of water she went through what she currently knew.

‘A dead person. Sharp teeth. Blood in your mouth. A memory gap.’ While turning her head back to the corpse beside her she saw two holes, not even as big as her pinky's fingernail, at the base of the neck. The person seemed pale, weirdly so. As if all life had been sucked out of them.

As the pieces of the puzzle started falling into place the former blacksmith apprentice started shaking her head, trying, and failing, to get up from the ground. Something in her brain clicked and she started scrambling backwards on her hands and feet. Away from the corpse. Away from what she now realized had once been Judy.

Judy. Sweet, nice, Judy that worked at the Equestrian Center. Laying dead at her feet with an empty expression toward the afternoon sky.

With half a thought to not alert any possible zombies that may be lurking nearby Montana clasped her hands over her mouth before she started screaming.

Screaming at the sight of Judy, dead and lifeless and so, so pale.

Screaming at the thought that she had to have done this.

Screaming over the agonizing realization that whatever had happened at Jaspers Farm had fundamentally changed her.

Screaming because something within her knew- she wasn't human anymore.

#ssoblr #sso #sso oc #star stable online #montana opalheart #riders of fallen dawn #riders-of-fallen-dawn #rofd #my writing #I really really really hope it's okay I mentioned your guys oc's 👉👈#i put everyone montan could've possibly met in the wilderness into a spinning wheel and let fate decide bc I couldn't pick #also florence isn't tagged but that's bc she's not just mentioned and bc it's kinda obvious it's her #I hope #but yeah obvi the thing that attacked montana was florence #anyway i hope you liked the story of how montana got turned into a vampire!#it was a pain in the ass to figure out! :D #special thanks to gremlin who had to put up with my questions and nonsense I am verry sorry you had to endure that #i hope this makes even just an ounce of sense

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celinemysteryhall · 2 years ago

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Imma list a few things i LOVE about Starstable, keep in mind that this is my opinion! Everybody has different opinions and preferences and that is 100% okay.

1. THE LIGHTPOSTS ACTUALLY LIGHTING UP WHEN IT GETS DARKER. Like come in it’s so pretty🥹

2. GOLDEN HILLS. Yes, everything! From cape west fishing village, to jaspers pumpkin farm, the stable, THE SWAAAMMMPPP 🥹🥹

3. Jorvik ponies. Idk whatcha say those dorky mf owns like 90% of my heart.

4. CONRAD. Just Conrad <33

5. HALF CRESCENT MOON TOWN. I never see anyone that talks or mentions this one and i need you guys to know, that is not okay.

6. South hoof soundtracks. Screaming, crying, yelling, bawling, rolling, running, singing and losing it.

7. Jaspers dance moves. Gotta admit that pumpkin spice can move💃🏻

8. Dawn. Like, you know? The sunset pink sky shit, day shits good.

9. GED workers. They amuse me

10. the new phone sound. IT SCRATCHES MY BRAIN😫

#star stable online #sso #starstable #jorvik

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quotesfrommyreading · 1 year ago

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By now you might have started to suspect: Cheese is fundamentally about decomposition. Like microbes on a rotten log in the woods, the bacteria and fungi in cheese break down their environment — in this case, the milk fats and proteins. This makes cheeses creamy and gives them flavor.

Mother Noella Marcellino, a longtime Benedictine cheesemaker at the Abbey of Regina Laudis, put it this way in a 2021 interview with Slow Food: “Cheese shows us what goodness can come from decay. Humans don’t want to look at death, because it means separation and the end of a cycle. But it’s also the start of something new. Decomposition creates this wonderful aroma and taste of cheese while evoking a promise of life beyond death.”

Exactly how the microbes build flavor is still being investigated. “It’s much less understood,” says Mayo. But a few things already stand out. Lactic acid bacteria, for example, produce volatile compounds called acetoin and diacetyl that can also be found in butter and accordingly give cheeses a rich, buttery taste. A yeast called Geotrichum candidum brings forth a blend of alcohols, fatty acids and other compounds that impart the moldy yet fruity aroma characteristic of cheeses such as Brie or Camembert. Then there’s butyric acid, which smells rancid on its own but enriches the aroma of Parmesan, and volatile sulfur compounds whose cooked-cabbage smell blends into the flavor profile of many mold-ripened cheeses like Camembert. “Different strains of microbe can produce different taste components,” says Cotter.

All a cheesemaker does is set the right conditions for the “rot” of the milk. “Different bacteria and fungi thrive at different temperatures and different humidity levels, so every step along the way introduces variety and nuance,” says Julia Pringle, a microbiologist at the artisan Vermont cheesemaker Jasper Hill Farm. If a cheesemaker heats the milk to over 120 degrees Fahrenheit, for example, only heat-loving bacteria like Streptococcus thermophilus will survive — perfect for making cheeses like mozzarella.

Cutting the curd into large chunks means that it will retain a fair amount of moisture, which will lead to a softer cheese like Camembert. On the other hand, small cubes of curd drain better, resulting in a drier curd — something you want for, say, a cheddar.

Storing the young cheese at warmer or cooler temperatures will again encourage some microbes and inhibit others, as does the amount of salt that is added. So when cheesemakers wash their ripening rounds with brine, it not only imparts seasoning but also promotes colonies of salt-loving bacteria like B. linens that promptly create a specific kind of rind: “orangey, a bit sticky, and kind of funky,” says Pringle.

Even the tiniest changes in how a cheese is handled can alter its microbiome, and thus the cheese itself, cheesemakers say. Switch on the air exchanger in the ripening room by mistake so that more oxygen flows around the cheese and suddenly molds will sprout that haven’t been there before.

— The Science Behind Your Cheese

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evilsubscriptionservice · 1 year ago

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jasper hill farm special edition campfire harbison

disappointing but still very good

with blackberry jam, crackers

back finally on tha cheese, its been sooooo long because these fucking price gouging shit i cant fucking stand it!!!!!!!!! and also to be honest ive been spending my money on perfume instead lol. i had intended to get a different cheese but i saw this one and figured it was my responsibility as a reviewer to try it because its limited special version of something i already really like. unfortunately, its kind of just the same cheese again. there is a very slight difference in taste, it does have a more smoked sort of flavor, but it's pretty faint and i feel like i wouldn't even have noticed it if i wasn't looking for it. i do prefer this one over the regular version though, if only because it smells slightly less wretched, but all my other opinions are broadly the same. fine enough as a return.

#cheese adventure #long awaited return of posts

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hannasbookshelf · 1 year ago

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𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

A Merry Little Meet Cute - Julie Murphy, Sierra Simone

Lovelight Farms - B.K. Borison

In The Weeds - B.K. Borison

Mixed Signals - B.K. Borison

Cleopatra and Frankenstein - Coco Mellors

The Perfect First - Maya Hughes

The Second We Met - Maya Hughes

The Third Best Thing - Maya Hughes

The Fourth Time Charm - Maya Hughes

Twisted Love - Ana Huang

Twisted Games - Ana Huang

Twisted Hate - Ana Huang

Twisted Lies - Ana Huang

Under One Roof - Ali Hazelwood

Stuck with You - Ali Hazelwood

Below Zero - Ali Hazelwood

The Cheat Sheet - Sarah Adams

The Fine Print - Lauren Asher

Terms and Conditions - Lauren Asher

Final Offer - Lauren Asher

Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute - Talia Hibbert

Intercepted - Alexa Martin

Fumbled - Alexa Martin

Blitzed - Alexa Martin

Snapped - Alexa Martin

You Had Me at Hola - Alexis Daria

A Lot Like Adiós - Alexis Daria

The Roughest Draft - Emily Wibberley, Austin Siegemung-Broka

Christmas in Quincy - Devney Perry

Indigo Ridge - Devney Perry

Juniper Hill - Devney Perry

Garnet Flats - Devney Perry

Jasper Vale - Devney Perry

The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides

Get a Life, Chloe Brown - Talia Hibbert

Take a Hint, Dani Brown - Talia Hibbert

Act Your Age, Eve Brown - Talia Hibbert

Fast & Hard - Kat Ransom

Fast & Wet - Kat Ransom

Fast & Hot - Kat Ransom

Fast & Wild - Kat Ransom

The Edens - A Legacy Short Story - Devney Perry

Crimson River - Devney Perry

Done and Dusted - Lyla Sage

Picking Peaches - Ansley B Calloway

Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass - Lana Del Rey

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki - Baek Se-hee

Desire or Defense - Leah Brunner

Passion or Penalty - Leah Brunner

Crying in H Mart - Michelle Zauner

A Sweet Mess - Jayci Lee

The Dating Dare - Jayci Lee

Booked on a Feeling - Jayci Lee

Fair Catch - Kandi Steiner

Blind Side - Kandi Steiner

Quarterback Sneak - Kandi Steiner

Hail Mary - Kandi Steiner

Everything I Know About Love - Dolly Alderton

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston

Lease on Love - Falon Ballard

Just My Type - Falon Ballard

Happy Place - Emily Henry

Love, Theoretically - Ali Hazelwood

Practice Makes Perfect - Sarah Adams

The Neighbor Favor - Kristina Forest

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grapefriend · 6 days ago

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super seasonal sips

We’re in the thick of the holidays now, and there are sips to be had for every moment! Plus a few gifts to give 🙂 for the happy hour This brings cheese and wine to a new level. Sandeman made a port-washed Harbison cheese with Jasper Hill Farm. It’s already sold out on their site but you can still pair Sandeman’s Founder’s Reserve ($25) with their other delicious cheeses. With the sweet,…

#cabernet #chardonnay #port #whiskey #wine

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infinitejourneysinfiniteworlds · 5 months ago

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In this post, I'm going to vent a little bit, but I'm also going to write about my Better CR in depth.

I really try not to whine about how I haven't shifted yet overmuch because I know that it's counterproductive to actually succeeding (focusing on the state of lack, etc.), but sometimes when it feels overwhelming I think writing it down as an act of release can be helpful.

And everything feels overwhelming right now. It's been a lot. I think having to permanently re-home my dog is what cinched my decision to permashift as soon as I can. The house is replaceable, but my dog is not.

It's been hard, and I've been genuinely trying to shift since getting into the tiny little rental place, but I've had nothing to show for it so far and that has been discouraging. If writing all this out doesn't help to release this discouragement, I may take a short break. I'm trying not to feel overly desperate, but it's hard not to do when you feel like your whole CR life just collapsed around you. Just trying to stay as Zen as possible about it all, to focus on one day at a time, and to keep a healthy balance between tending to CR needs and taking the time to focus on shifting.

I know that it may take a little time to successfully permashift, so I'm trying not to rush it too much. I have time to experiment a bit. It'll probably be better to do that anyway than to just permashift right out of the proverbial gate. I am fully committed to finally permashifting at this point; however, this does not mean that I won't make some controlled shifts back to a certain "timeline branch" of this CR where things work out for me, including getting my dog back, so I can have some closure. But they will be carefully controlled and scripted, so that when I shift I will be able to easily shift back to my Home Reality that is my Better CR. In other words, I'll be shifting to an alternate CR that looks exactly like this one, but I'll be scripting what happens in the future instead of the past, as well as scripting that I can instantly shift back to my Home Reality when I intend.

I think I'd like to write a bit about my Better CR. I love it so much; it's nothing fancy or exciting, but it's cozy and comfortable and a great place to use as a Home Reality from which I can shift to other DRs.

Foremost in my mind right now: in my Better CR, my dog Shadow is still with me, happy and healthy and secure, and I scripted that there will be no negative effects from natural disasters in my life. I live in the foothills of the Berkshires of Massachusetts, have a beautiful three-bedroom home on a rural property, and work from home as a freelance artist. I only have to take three or four projects a year, because I've got a sizeable amount of money from wise investments over the years. I've been working on my illustrated urban fantasy series, and it's coming together nicely.

I live in an area with gorgeous forests, rivers and lakes and waterfalls, and gently rolling hills that rise into nearby mountains. The town is called Jasper, and it's picturesque and quaint, a bit reminiscent of Stars Hollow from Gilmore Girls, but it's just big enough to prevent boredom. Jasper has all my favorite restaurants, and I've scripted in a few family-owned restaurants that have amazing food of different varieties too. There is a big apple orchard/pumpkin patch farm that offers seasonal attractions, festivals and fairs and such. There are lots of beautiful nature trails around, including one right down the road from me. There is a great bookshop with a coffee shop/bakery attached. There are different venues for the arts, including live stage productions, galleries, and such. There's a movie theater. There is a large, teeming metropolis about an hour away, so I can get my fill of urban life when I feel like it.

A couple of my best friends in that DR rent the little guest house I have on my property too so I'm not really living alone. I have lots of personal space due to having my house to myself, but they are over quite often. They are a married couple; their names are Andrew and Jonas. Andrew is a pediatrician and Jonas is an architect. They are thinking about starting a family soon, but right now they're just cat dads. I haven't scripted much about them personality-wise, but in my DR I've known them for a long, long time and we are like family. We also have a friend, Lorna, who is a part of this little found family. Lorna is Wiccan, and she has a young daughter. The four (well, five including Lorna's daughter; I haven't scripted her name, but she's maybe five years old, I think?) of us hang out all the time, and we do holidays together.

In this world, there is a longevity gene that is known to occur spontaneously in certain family lines, allowing them to live for 7-800 years. Scientists in the mid 1900s studied that gene and were able to create a gene therapy program that extends the lifespan of anyone who uses it. It's become common practice, so overall the human lifespan is much longer than it was in the past.

The world in general is a much better place, peaceful and stable. The US has successfully implemented such things as a UBI (universal basic income) for people beneath a certain median, and a National Health Service that covers all medical expenses, including psychiatric care, gender affirming care, and reproductive healthcare. Housing, food, and other living expenses are very affordable. Minimum wage is a living wage. Bigotry of any kind is so frowned upon as taboo that anyone engaging in that sort of behavior is ostracized and basically unable to function in society because no one will hire them, rent to them, sell to them, etc., and they aren't protected by law either. They are shut down online too, so they can't recruit that way. There are still some pockets of those sorts, but they are the absolute minority and have zero influence or power in society or the world at large.

Because I feel the need to work through some of my childhood trauma still, I did script that my family was exactly the way they were in my Former Reality (the reality I'm in right now as I type this). They were extreme right-wing religious cult members when I was a kid. However, in my Better CR, they deconstructed all of that and nowadays are fully embracing progressive, universalist Christianity. They are no longer homophobic, transphobic, and generally shitty people, but have become better people all around. They have sincerely apologized to me for the trauma they caused me, and I have also been working with a therapist to heal from it. They live in Texas still, so we don't see each other very often, but we have a fairly good relationship. My dad's sister (who in my FR is much like my parents, but she's a "Christian counsellor") in my DR is a licensed psychiatrist and works in the secular field, but she is also a progressive Christian, and has been all along.

In this DR, I accidentally shifted to Narnia when I was a child. I was there for many years, and had a special connection to Aslan. I stopped due to parental fearmongering when I talked to them about it (remember, they were still religious fanatics then), but years later I would discover shifting again and remember my childhood experiences.

I have experimented with shifting a bit since discovering it, and have found it to be remarkably easy to do. I've mostly just been practicing with "small" shifts, focusing on shifting to a world where I, for instance, have a dragon sculpture on my bedroom fireplace mantel, or where there is a particular type of tree in my yard. I've written several scripts, all of which match the scripts I've written in my FR. I haven't tried yet to shift to any of those worlds, but I know it will be so very, very easy to do whenever I feel ready.

I have a lovely online shifting-focused community that I'm a part of in my Better CR, and have a few close friends from it. We have a lot of overlapping interests, and have a couple shared group DRs, and a few other DRs where we simply script each other in, which is always fun to hear about.

In my Better CR, I will have perfect memory of all of my shifts, and I will be able to process and compartmentalize as necessary, in a healthy manner. My therapist also believes in reality shifting (it's actually a pretty common thing in that world, though there is a lot of debate about what reality shifting actually is, with explanations ranging from psychological to mystical) so she can help me process too if I need it.

I've scripted that I clearly remember my Former Reality, in a similar manner that I remember my DR shifts, but I still feel and think like I've been in my Better CR the whole time. My Former Reality is still a lived experience that I can learn and grow from just like any other shift, but it doesn't overshadow my Better CR experiences. It will just feel like another world I shifted/shift to.

With that being said, I do have pretty good control over when and where I shift in my Better CR. I generally don't shift spontaneously anymore, and if I shift to a random reality it's almost always because I just want to "wander," and I always have a "safety scripting" list that applies to these random reality shifts. And I can always remember to come back whenever I want, whether it be after a couple minutes or a couple weeks. I am also able to accurately shift to scripted DRs, and I have a waiting room that I can shift to when I want to be absolutely certain of fine details when I shift to a DR, just for peace of mind. So I can shift with accuracy from my Better CR, and I can shift with pinpoint accuracy from my waiting room.

I have not scripted a romantic interest in my Better CR, just because I feel like I'd rather have romantic connections in my DRs that I shift to from there. I like having a bit of solitude and personal space in my Home Reality. I'm happy just living with my dog (and cats? I don't know, I keep wavering on whether or not I have cats in this reality, maybe because Shadow doesn't get along with cats in my FR and I've just kind of gotten locked in to thinking of her like that).

I am an actively practicing witch in my Better CR, and have all the same spirit connections that I have in my FR. These deities and spirits know I've shifted to my Better CR and they are aware of my FR life and the lessons I've learned along the way. My spiritual path is powerful and enriching, and I have a few nice groups of witchy friends that I interact with in person and online.

There are a few other odds and ends that I've scripted for my Better CR, but this entry is getting super long so I think I'll stop here.

#reality shifting #permashifting #adult shifters #DR: Shady Oak Lane

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carnivorousous · 10 months ago

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Nov 1, 2022 - A flavorful representation of Vermont’s Northeast Kingdom, Jasper Hill Farm Bayley Hazen Blue is a modern...

#meat #food #carnivore

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jacobscharacter · 2 years ago

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Interrogate your Character

and their World.

Jasper's 20 questions:

1 How old is your character?

2 What's their relationship with their parents? (if their parents are dead then detail the story and their past relationship if you can find it) (if they have a different back story again, then enter that here)

Very close especially with dad. Grew up at home with parents till this point in his life when the illustration is based. Currently finding not having his parents around is quite a difficult aspect of his life.

3 Who raised them (ignore if listed in 2)

Mum and Dad (Ella & Criag)

4 Do they have any siblings? - If so, describe them and their relationship(s)

Yes brother and sister both younger. They all get along. Spend lots of time together doing farm chores. Due to Jasper being a big time skier his younger brother is the more common Owaka resident and is said to be next in line to take over the family farm. While his sister is tough as nails and has never needed help standing up to any local school boys trying to pick on her.

5 What is the main thing, or some things that challenge them?

The pressure he puts on himself to make next year's Olympics as well as the added aspect of not being taken seriously due to his young age.

6 Describe two or more relationships with other characters – what characterizes those relationships?

Dad, his best mate and a man who will back his son to the hills. They both get along like peanut butter and jelly and are a hard duo to separate once together.

James Jameison, a skier who he’s competing with for the wild card spot in the Olympics. He can’t be forsure but after a few weird happenings he suspects he may be the the reasoning for a crash Jasper had at a recent event. Their relationship can be described as a developing rivalry.

7 Does your character have children – if so, how does your character relate to them?

No kids

8 Does your character have a mentor?

His Dad would be his main mentor in life, whilst in skiing he’s heavily influenced by Henrik Harlaut.

9 How has your character’s upbringing shaped their view of the world?

He comes from a small town where you're expected to do what you ask and get on with things. In saying that it’s still a nice community. Jasper hasn’t been exposed to any big ongoing problems other than Gary who everyone has to prevent from driving home from the pub on a regular basis. This means that Jasper views the world as a place where you must work for what you get and nothing comes easy. This helps with his dedication to his sport.

10 Does your character have chosen accessories / clothing / tools / weapons

He’s very regularly in ski gear. So his common accessories are things such as a helmet and goggles while for clothes he wears a Wu-Tang clan hoodie, ski gloves which in his case are mittens, baggy ski pants, ski boots and a balaclava which he regularly wears in durag form. For tools he has his skis.

11 Does your character have any notable enemies?

He’s starting to form a rivalry with James Jamison, a man who he's competing with for the wildcard spot in the New Zealand Olympic team.

12 Describe your character’s world

It’s the world we live in yet with an imaginary mountain/resort in the Swiss Alps called Good Mountain but it more commonly is referred to as it’s abbreviation ‘GM’.

13 What are your character’s goals in life?

To win a gold medal at the Winter Olympic Games for Slopestyle Halfpipe Skiing.

14 What stops your character getting towards their goals?

His young age.

Rival competitors

Lack of energy due to overworking himself

Self doubt

15 What personality flaws does your character have and how do they manage them?

Jasper suffers from perfectionism, he feels that he must make the Olympics and is constantly trying to land his ideal run. This means that he slowly starts to overwork himself to the point where he is at risk of injury.

Jasper also suffers from being Impatient, He feels like he has to achieve all his goals right this moment and if it doesn’t happen he’s going to be dissatisfied. This means he puts more pressure on his current self and misses out on enjoying the moment.

Lastly Jasper suffers from being Close-Minded, he thinks that making the Olympics is his only life path and focuses so much so on it he misses out on what is fun and things he originally enjoyed about the sport such as skiing around with friends and family. He thinks that he can’t take a day off or take time off and go home because he will fall behind on his training.

16 What special talents does your character have – were they innate or did they develop them,

The main talents Jasper has are Air Awareness, Acrobatic Skills, Balance and Coronation, Body Control, Fearlessness, Creativity and Adaptability. He was born with many of these skills to a certain degree but throughout his life has improved them. Things such as Air Awareness, Balance and Coronation & Body Control came more naturally whilst through things like trampolining and repetition at a young age gained hi skills such as Acrobatic Skills & Fearlessness. Jasper also worked mentally on skills such as Creativity and being Adaptable to trends and what's popular in the sport by really just being obsessed. He could base his tricks off skiers like Henrik Harlaut and bring his own twist to their styles.

17 is my character a loner.

My character is friendly and gets along with lots of people in his local community. Now being overseas and quite young and frankly a little scared he finds the people intimidating and has pushed himself to be somewhat of a loner due to fear of saying the wrong thing or not fitting in with people on a whole other side of the planet.

Your additional questions

18 Jasper’s favorite food?

KimChi Bowl Noodle.

19 Where doe’s Jasper work?

Jasper works at the Mountain Cafe and Eatery on GM. He works as a dishwasher.

20 How old was Jasper when he did his first backflip?

Jasper was 8 years old when he did his first backflip.

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