#James Brian Ventura

[lisaplant4]

Movie Review

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

👻😱🗽

Let me state for the record, I LOVED this film! I haven't laughed that hard at a film in I don't know how long. The cast is perfect (I particularly enjoyed the addition of James Acaster), the writing is hysterical and witty, the action and effects are amazing. It has scares, laughs, romance, and so, so much heart. The OG Busters, and the next gen Busters all get a chance to shine. The Firehouse is back, Peck is back, Slimer is back! This is the best movie I've seen in some time. 9/10

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

🦎🐵

It was okay. Lots of action. I don't like seeing animals get hurt, not even giant ones, so these films don't make the most comfortable viewing for me. However, you can't help but root for Kong and Godzilla to beat the new big (and I do mean BIG) bad. I liked the new character played by Dan Stevens, a Titan vet who is sort of Ace Ventura mixed with Crocodile Dundee, he was fun, and had great chemistry with Brian Tyree Henry's character Bernie. It was entertaining enough, but I can't really recall what happened in the previous Godzilla movies, and I fear this one won't be any more memorable. 6/10

[fridaythe13ththeseries]

Mightier Than the Sword

Episode Recap #62: Mightier Than the Sword Original Airdate: January 20, 1990

Starring: Louise Robey as Micki Foster Steve Monarque as Johnny Ventura (as Steven Monarque) Chris Wiggins as Jack Marshak

Guest cast: Colm Feore as Alex Dent / Billy Frazer Roxanne Hill as Dusty Dawn Markus Parilo as Clint Fletcher Thomas Hauff as Chaplain James Kee as Jerry Fletcher Michael Caruana as Harold Bradley James O'Regan as Detective Adams Donna Goodhand as Marion Frazer Tony De Santis as Richard Emanual Mark as Interviewer

Written by Brian Helgeland Directed by Armand Mastroianni

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nighttime outside a prison. People are gathered to celebrate, for lack of a better word, a prisoner's execution, a man named Clint Fletcher. A news crew is also covering the proceedings. Fletcher was known as the Rocky Mountain Barber and confessed to killing 16 women. Two men inside talk, and one wonders if the governor will pardon Fletcher. The other man says no, he killed 18 women. When corrected that the number is 16, he says two other bodies are unaccounted for and says Fletcher told him. This man is a crime biographer known as Alex Dent, and he is allowed to see Clint Fletcher before his execution, since he helped catch him.

Dent and Fletcher, who is chained to a chair, talk. Dent asks for last words, or any guilt or remorse. He is holding an ink pen and suddenly sticks it into Fletcher's neck, drawing blood into it. Fletcher is groggy, then confused as to why he is in prison and about to be executed. Dent leaves the room as Fletcher is taken to his death.

Dent watches as Fletcher, sobbing and begging for clarity of what is happening, is tied to a chair in a gas chamber. The gas is activated and Fletcher dies.

Dent leaves the same time as the chaplain in attendance, and they talk. They seem to disagree on whether executing criminals is worthwhile. Dent follows the man to his car, asking to talk further. Dent pulls out the pen and stabs the chaplain in the neck, injected the fluid into this man. Dent watches him drive away and comments that he will be a "bestseller."

Credits play.

At Curious Goods, Johnny comes in to pick up Jack. The two of them are going to see Alex Dent give a lecture on his book about Fletcher. Johnny invites Micki, but she is unsure. Johnny admires Dent's writing, hoping it will help him improve. They convince Micki to join them.

Dent talks to the crown about evil and how it can make a person suddenly change into a madman. One man in the group jumps up and says Dent and his books are the real problem. He is profiting off of serial killers, egging them on. Seems he is Jerry Fletcher, Clint's brother. He says Dent never even talked with his brother. He is escorted out. Dent then tells the crowd he has talked with police and there is a new killer who has already struck twice. He says he is certain the man is a priest or minister now killing those he used to help. We see the chaplain, reading from his bible. Dent thinks the killer will strike tonight.

After, Dent is autographing his book for fans. Jack, Johnny and Micki approach, and Johnny asks Dent to sign his book. Dent asks if Micki is a writer, too, and she says she runs an antique shop. They leave.

Later, Jerry Fletcher is waiting for Dent and wants to know how he knew about his brother and what they talked about. Dent tries to go, saying Jerry is as crazy as his brother was. He then asks why Jerry didn't stop Clint. He tells Jerry to meet him at a bar at 11:00, they can talk more. Jerry agrees.

At the store, our group are discussing the lecture and Dent's info about a new killer.

At his hotel, Dent uses the cursed antique pen. It writes seemingly on its own. He writes about the new killer, the chaplain, hunting Jerry Fletcher. What he writes appears to be happening in real life, as the chaplain follows Jerry into an alley and shoots him dead. All of this is also written in Dent's new manuscript. He drops the pen and gasps, then continues on, writing that this is he first time a killer contacted him directly. We see the chaplain pick up a pay phone.

At the store the next day, Jack is shaving as Micki brings in the paper with news about a new murder, and the victim is Jerry Fletcher. Dent is going to hold a news conference about it. Jack is suspicious and is going to check the manifest and wants Micki to get Johnny and talk to Dent again.

At the news conference, a man tries to turn Micki and Johnny away, since they aren't reporters. They ask to speak to Dent, who is listening from a doorway, and ask the man where the author was last night. The man says he had a drink with Dent right after the killer called him. Micki sees Dent through the crack in the door. They sit in the back of the room.

A homicide detective starts speaking. He says Dent it only a consultant, but Dent takes over. He says he has dedicated his life to stopping serial murderers. He tells them the killer, who he is calling the Angel of Death, asked to meet with him. We see a woman at home, smoking and watching the news. She comments on Dent to herself, alluding to his name being an alias and that he will be surprised to see her.

After the conference, the detective is not happy with Dent turning it into a publicity stunt. He isn't fond of Dent's methods and knows Dent has more info than he is admitting.

At Curious Goods, the trio is going over what they have learned so far. Dent has written three books in five years but they couldn't find anything about him before then. Johnny says it is weird that all the killers Dent wrote about had no memory of the murders before their executions. Jack couldn't find Dent in the Manifest, only a writer named Billy Frazer, who bought an antique pen. Johnny wonders if they are the same man. Micki offers to talk to Dent's agent again, and Jack and Johnny go where Dent is supposed to be meeting the Angel of Death.

At the meeting sight, they see the cops prepping Dent, and putting a wire on him. The detective wants no heroics, just an arrest. Dent wants a moment to speak to the man, which the detective says no to. Once he is out of sight, Dent pulls the wire off. The cops realize they have lost him and the detective rushes off. Dent, in the shadows, pulls out the pen and book and writes more, this time about the killer getting one last victim. The detective comes up on Dent writing, and suddenly the chaplain appears and shoots the cop, as Dent writes on. Dent then pushes the killer against the wall and uses the pen to draw blood from his neck. Unbeknownst to Dent, Johnny is watching.

The cops arrive on the scene and Dent plays dumb, saying he tried to stop the chaplain but he couldn't. They arrest the Angel of Death, who has no idea what is going on.

Johnny runs up to Jack and tells him they need to go, he'll fill him in later.

Micki is waiting at the hotel bar and sees Dent and his agent Bradley talking about the turn of luck this will have on their finances. As they are about to get in the elevator, the woman from earlier approaches. Dent calls her Marion, and she is sarcastic about him remembering her name. He sends Bradley away, and Marion calls him Billy, her husband. Micki watches as the two talk. She wants a second go with him, or mainly his money. She tosses a sleazy book he wrote at him, when he was Billy Frazer. He asks for her address so he can make arrangements. As Marion leaves, Dent spots Micki, tosses the book in the trash and goes into the stairwell.

Micki gets the book from the trash, the goes up the stairs. The lights suddenly go out. Micki keeps going up, but is grabbed by Dent and knocked out. He then uses the pen to inject its fluid into her neck, commenting that there hasn't been a female serial killer, until now.

At the store, Johnny is telling Jack all he saw, about the chaplain murdering the cop and then being confused after Dent stuck him with the pen. Jack tries to understand the curse, correctly guessing how Dent is using the pen to write what happens before it happens. Micki comes in, disheveled. She says someone attacked her, knocked her out and stole her wallet. Johnny asks if it was Dent, Micki didn't see anyone. She wants to go to bed, and Jack helps her upstairs.

Dent goes through Micki's wallet, saying she will take him further than ever. He takes the pen and starts writing, saying Micki will be a slasher. He writes on.

Micki is washing her face and feeling off. She opens the medicine cabinet and finds Jack's sharp razor. Jack locks up the store, then sees Micki at the top of the stairs. He says she should sleep. Micki comes down, holding a razor behind her. She tells Jack about Marion approaching Dent, and shows the book written by Billy Frazer, the name in the Manifest. She says Marion was probably trying to blackmail Dent. Jack notices her acting odd, but she says she just needs sleep. She goes back upstairs.

Johnny arrives the next day and Jack is upstairs. Johnny asks about Micki, Jack says she's not up. Jack reads a line from the Billy Frazer book and says the man was obsessed with brutality. They go to get Micki, and Johnny finds her room empty.

Micki is walking, seemingly at the whim of what Dent and the pen are writing about her. She has the razor and goes to a club, sitting at the bar. A man approaches and buys her a drink and offers a cigarette. They talk and we see Dent is in the same bar, writing and watching.

Johnny has called around looking for Micki, with no luck. Jack says that Jerry Fletcher and the detective were suspicious of Dent and wound up dead and wonders if Dent knew Micki was on to him. Johnny mentions Micki acting strangely, and they realize he used the pen on her. They rush off.

The man and Micki continue to talk, her actions controlled by Dent. She pulls the razor and cuts the man's hand, then walks out. The man tells them to call the cops. Dent writes that now Micki is ready to kill.

Jack and Johnny talk to Bradley, who says Dent left hours ago, and has no clue when he'll be back. Jack sees a news report on the television in the room about the razor attack and a sketch of Micki. They rush off.

Micki comes back to the store, confused, calling for Jack and Johnny. Dent keeps writing. Micki holds her head and the razor, in the control of Dent and the pen. She spins around, then leaves the store, off to kill her first victim, who Dents writes as Marion Frazer.

Jack and Johnny are in the hotel lobby, unsure what to do next. Jack goes to the front desk.

Dent writes on, saying Marion's murder will be the most brutal he's ever seen. Micki goes to Marion's house. Dent calls, telling Marion he sent someone over with everything she deserves. He hangs up. Micki knocks, and Marion lets her in to her apartment.

Jack tells Johnny the front desk clerk hasn't heard from Dent. Johnny wonders if Dent and Micki are in the same place, and Jack agrees, since Dent gets off on the murder. Johnny says someone else was a threat, his ex-wife Marion. They rush off again, and just miss Dent exiting the elevator. Micki sits and smokes, telling Marion they have to wait for Dent, who wants to be there for some reason. Marion isn't happy. The phone rings, Jack tries to talk, but Micki hangs it up. She pulls out the razor and Marion pushes her down and tries to flee. Micki chases but Marion runs into Dent, who holds her as Micki closes in. As Dent and Marion struggle, then pen falls on the stairs. Dent pushes Marion down the stairs, she falls unconscious or dead.

Jack and Johnny arrive outside.

Micki, still holding the razor, sees Marion looking dead, so turns her attention on Dent, chasing after him through the apartment. Jack and Johnny come in, see Marion, and Jack sees the pen and grabs it. The go upstairs when they hear Dent yelling. Micki is slashing at him over and over again. Johnny tries to get through to her, but she slashes at him, too. Jack grabs her and they struggle. Johnny joins and tells Jack how to use the pen like Dent did. Jack stabs her with it, drawing the evil fluid out as Micki screams. She drops the bloody razor and they take her out as Dent lies dying.

At Curious Goods, Micki is in bed. Jack knocks on her door with a tray of snacks. She pushes it aside. Jack says she's had a rough time and asks if she wants to talk about it. She says she killed someone, Jack says it wasn't her, it was the pen. She doesn't remember anything. Jack says it is now locked in the vault and it's over. They hug and then Micki attacks him with the razor. She wakes up screaming and Jack rushes in, telling her she was just dreaming. He holds her as she cries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My thoughts:

Quite good. However, the timeline for these serial killers Dent is writing about is quite condensed, so no kidding the detective was suspicious of him!

I liked another antique pen being the cursed item, in a sort-of similar way to The Poison Pen, with the prophetic or predictive writing. But this one had the added twist of injecting cursed ink or blood or whatever into the hapless victims.

And poor Micki - she fell prey to yet another cursed item! Although continuing up those stairs after Dent turned off the lights was not a bright move.

But why was there a news alert and instant police sketch of Micki airing? That was a quick news team.

And not smart of Jack or Johnny to leave the razor blade behind after Micki killed Dent. Hers - and Jack's - fingerprints had to be on that thing.

Liked Johnny being a bit smarter here, watching Dent but not instantly reacting.

Also liked how caring Jack was of Micki.

The last minute nightmare at the end was a good scare. They must have fun filming it.

Next week: Year of the Monkey

[mockingjaymesv]

“Sims 4 Let's Build Series: Philippine Architecture Edition" 🇵🇭

Build #1 Bahay na Bato

It is a type of building originating during the Philippines' Spanish Colonial Period. These were large houses built of stone and wood combining Filipino, Spanish and Chinese style elements.

The Bahay na Bato is the successor of the archetype of typical Filipino houses, the Bahay Kubo. Their main difference is that the former is more resilient than the latter thanks to the introduction of stone materials on the ground floor of the structure. This has made the house more capable of withstanding earthquakes and other force majeures.

Download the house on my Sims 4 Gallery: MockingJaymesV

Speed Build Video link: https://youtu.be/N5qr02kF94k

[90smovies]

[michellepamelalyons]

On Trans Issues, Comedy, Bigotry, and Growing The Fuck Up – or, Could You Stop Focusing On My Genitals And Just Listen To Me?

A while ago now – it was only just over a year back, but the internet makes it feel longer – the singer Sam Smith got a tattoo on their arm. This is how People Magazine in America described it: “The design depicts a young person standing in front of a mirror in tighty whitey underwear and high heels”.

The tattoo unintentionally acted as a kind of Rorschach test. For your usual right wing types, it was clearly some sort of dangerous pornography. Yet to me, and many others, we instantly realised what it was about. And while it was meant as an expression of Smith��s non-binary identity and their discomfort with various aspects of gender, I also saw a very trans melancholy in this image.

That kid was me at one point. There is zero prurience about that tattoo, it just happens to reflect an experience that happened to many of us trans women when we were younger. A slowly dawning realisation that all was not right, and that a mistake had been made before we’d even been properly born.

For me, this period didn’t last long – “a phase”, some would have said in relieved tones, if I’d admitted to it at the time. And the key word there is “admitted” – this was seen, through the social mores of the 1980s / 1990s, as some kind of aberration rather than an initial clumsy attempt to correct a mistake. I certainly was aware at that young age of how adults viewed people like me. Trans people were the universal butt of the joke in all media, the safest of safe targets. In some ways, that remains the case.

And while I have always loved comedy, comedy has not always loved me. Off the top of my head – the entirety of the ending of the first Ace Ventura movie; the bit in Crocodile Dundee where Paul Hogan assaults a trans women for laughs; John Cleese pontificating that he knows what’s what about trans women in Life Of Brian. (In October 2022, it was announced that the grim hard-right British news channel GB News had signed up Cleese to provide regular commentaries on “wokeness”.)

So it’s not a surprise, given the judgement of those famous men I looked up to, that what should have been a necessary breakthrough became a “phase”. I did not tell anyone. I pushed this right down into a vault in my mind, locked it up and threw away the proverbial key. You remember that bit in The Simpsons where Marge talks about compressing all her anger and anxieties into “a little ball”, the implication being that this isn’t healthy? Basically that.

I was so far in the closet, I refused to even acknowledge the presence of any closets within a five mile radius of myself; it genuinely did odd things to my mind. Talking about this period of my life, my early teens, is still difficult for me. But to outline the mess as simply as I can: I essentially became a proto-incel. The attempts to fit in, be a man, and appear "normal" only resulted in fucking me up. I actually remember thinking things like, I’m a nice guy. Why don’t girls like me? I regarded such dumb statements as truisms. I wondered if I should shave my head, take up body building, wear those horrible lime green shirts that every tosser in the land seemed to have back then. And the punchline was that I was a girl all along.

But what hope was there for me in those supposedly halcyon days of Maxim Magazine, Alex James’s leering face and Section 28? Is it any wonder that that kind of thing quickly rotted into the mulch from which the alt-right sprang? It nearly claimed me as one of them. And it took me years, even after leaving the toxic wasteland that was my high school, to fully shake off those evil messages. Some of it even lingered long into my initial phases of my being a Youtuber. There are some videos I put up on the platform when I was an adult that have me wincing when I see them now.

Looking back there are so many clues, and so many of them tied to TV shows or cartoons or movies or video games. I remember playing the arcade game Gauntlet as a young child, and being overwhelmed with the realisation that I could be a woman in the game. I loved the series of sketches in the Saturday morning show No. 73 about “Jane Bond”, a gender-flipped James played by future film director Andrea Arnold. I enjoyed a rental VHS of the Rainbow Brite movie so much that I tried taking a picture of the cover with my Dad’s Polaroid, just so I had a memento of it when it went back to the shop.

These are not necessarily the most feminist things in the world (with the notable exception of the second), but that was what was on offer to girls back then, and I devoured it when I could. I didn’t think of it in explicitly trans terms, or as anything – it was just stuff I liked. But I already knew enough not to mention it to the boys I was friends with. Of course I did.

Without even trying to, without breaking a sweat, society around me hammered me down into something that was universally felt to be “correct”. In doing so, it nearly destroyed me.

And now because people have realised how wrong this is, and that many other things in this world are equally hideous – the repulsive cycle of racism, the arrogance of those in power, the broken news media of the UK and US - naturally there has been a pushback. A well-funded, deeply sinister pushback.

(From this point in, bear in mind I'm talking from a mainly British perspective. I don't know enough to talk authoritatively about these issues in non-anglosphere countries, so I won't presume to pretend otherwise.)

The funny thing is that I genuinely don’t think some of the actors and comedians taking part in this lunacy realise that they’re being bad in any sense, or are being played. They seem to have accepted what some in the comedy world and the rest of the media have told them – that we’re humourless, we’re the actual fascists, we hate free speech, etc etc etc… it’s the old 1990s complacency at work, leading to all those deals with the devil.

Simply being part of the generation that produced punk, rave and grunge has fooled many into thinking that they could never be the 2020s equivalent of those crusty old people who railed against anything with long hair in the 1960s. But they are those people now. They may have dyed hair in primary colours, wear fashionable clothes, or even go skateboarding or some bloody thing, but they’re ultimately 21st Century equivalents of Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells. There are times when I am deeply embarrassed to be part of Generation X.

These people, these heroes of mine, fail to notice that the people they sidle up to don’t want genuine “debate”. They just want to silence all dissenting views, and to get to say (and do) whatever they like, no matter how vile, without any comeback from those pesky minorities. The right wing pretense of caring about free speech is being used as a method to dismantle free speech. Any kind of actual debate where people listen to each other can’t be allowed to happen. Why else are we never asked onto Radio 4 to talk on the Today programme or Women’s Hour? And even if we were, we’d be shouted down within seconds.

And why is it that any old bastard on the right, if their stupidity is revealed and gets them supposedly “cancelled”, then gets to embark on a whistle-stop tour of every news outlet in the country? How come after being “silenced”, they’re on Good Morning Britain whining away with the full support of the show? How come they always end up somewhere else, still spouting their claptrap, still in business? We already know the answer.

Simply by existing the way that I want to, I end up butting heads with the most dangerous people in society. They may not know my name, but they want me dead. There’s a notorious noise music album called “The Right To Kill”, which basically sums up their entire world-view. It was an album born from a place of deep idiocy and cowardice, despite the creator’s continued attempts at intellectualizing and explaining away the record. Personally, I just want the right to fucking exist.

I do not want to take part in a “culture war”. I do not want the evil and madness to continue. I do not want people to suffer. I do not want people to die. I want to live.

It gets so much at times that I almost forget there is still joy in this world, and that there is also joy to be had in simply being my true self. When I turn off the news feed (or rather, the spurting bubbling gutter that pours sewage into our minds), I get to live again. The human car alarms are out of earshot and I can just exist, and I can dream. Like the actual, literal dream I had the morning I wrote this, which prompted the creation of this post you’ve been reading.

The complete and unexpurgated “plot” of the dream isn’t important – anyone’s subconscious always seems to be really invested in supplying endless and absurd curveballs - but there was something very obviously significant during one part of this particular image-jumble. So, to summarize...

...I was standing on a train platform. My family were around me, as in the dream we were all returning from a holiday. We were deep in the countryside, and we were trying to get back as soon as possible to our house in the suburbs near London. And then, of course, I noticed my family had all disappeared.

It’s a typical thing to happen in dreams. Everyone who has ever fallen asleep has dreamed this, countless times. Panicked, I started to call out for them, wondering where the hell they’d got to. Eventually, the first two members of my family re-appeared. The first was my Mum. She looked confused, and asked me what was wrong. And the second person was me.

Only, it wasn’t me at all – it was my past self. My faux-teenage-boy self from about twenty five years ago. An avatar once used in real life, that hid, shielded, and poisoned me. There wasn’t a hint of recognition in his eyes, no trace of understanding that I was who he had to become; no disgust, confusion, anger, evil amusement – he just looked at me. Who’s this woman? Why is she shouting? Does she know my Mum?

And then, as the rest of my family returned, he vanished.

[iamalwayswatchingfilms]

All films

All the films I’ve ever watched? I have too much time.

1902 A Trip to the Moon

1938 Bringing up Baby

1940 Pinocchio

1941 Dumbo

1942 Bambi Casablanca Cat People

1944 Curse of the Cat People

1950 Cinderella

1951 Alice in Wonderland

1953 Peter Pan

1954 Rear Window

1955 Lady and the Tramp The Ladykillers

1959 Sleeping beauty Some Like it Hot

1960 Psycho

1961 101 Dalmations Breakfast at Tiffanys The Parent Trap West Side Story

1962 To Kill a Mockingbird

1963 Lord of the Flies

1964 A Shot in the Dark Mary Poppins

1965 Juliet of the Spirits Sound of Music

1967 The Jungle Book The Producers

1968 2001 A Space Odyssey Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Night of the Living Dead Rosemarys Baby

1969 Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid

1970 The Aristocats The Railway Children

1971 A Clockwork Orange And Now for Something Completely Different Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

1972 Aguirre, the Wrath of God

1973 Don’t Look Now The Exorcist La Planete Sauvage The Long Goodbye Paper Moon Robin Hood Tom Sawyer The Wicker Man Mean streets

1974 Blazing Saddles Swallows and Amazons Young Frankenstein

1975 Dog Day Afternoon Jaws Monty Python and the Holy Grail One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest Return of Pink Panther The Rocky Horror Picture Show

1976 Bugsy Malone Carrie Freaky Friday King Kong Pink Panther Strikes Again The Omen Taxi Driver

1977 Close Encounters of the Third Kind The Island of Dr Moreau Suspiria Star Wars: A New Hope

1978 The Deer Hunter Grease Halloween Watership Down

1979 Alien Life of Brian Quadrophenia

1980 Airplane! The Blues Brothers Flash Gordon Friday the 13th The Shining Star Wars the Empire Strikes Back

1981 An American Werewolf in London Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

1982 Annie Blade Runner The Dark Crystal ET Poltergeist The Thing The Snowman

1983 The Dead Zone The Man With Two Brains National Lampoons Vacation Scarface Wargames Christine Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life Star Wars: Return of the Jedi Videodrome

1984 Amadeus Footloose Ghostbusters Gremlins Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Karate Kid Never-ending Story The Nightmare on Elm Street Sixteen Candles Dune This is Spinal Tap

1985 Back to the Future Brazil Brewsters Millions The Goonies Re-Animator Room with a View The Breakfast Club National Lampoon’s European Vacation

1986 Aliens An American Tail Big Trouble in Little China Blue Velvet Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Labyrinth Little Shop of Horrors Stand By Me Platoon

1987 The BFG The Brave Little Toaster The Evil Dead II The Lost Boys Planes Trains and Automobiles Predator The Princess Bride Raising Arizona Withnail and I

1988 Beetlejuice Big Die Hard Heathers The Land Before Time My Neighbour Totoro Scrooged They Live Twins Who Framed Roger Rabbit Willow

1989 Back to the Future 2 Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure Do the Right Thing Honey I Shrunk the Kids Kiki's Delivery Service The Little Mermaid National Lampoons Christmas Vacation See No Evil Hear No Evil

1990 Edward Scissorhands Home Alone Kindergarten Cop Misery Tremors Wild at Heart The Witches

1991 The Addams Family Beauty and the Beast Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey Drop Dead Fred Naked Lunch Point Break Silence of the Lambs

1992 Aladdin Army of Darkness Candyman Ferngully Home Alone 2 Lost in New York Howards End The Muppet Christmas Carol Of Mice and Men Reservoir Dogs Twin Peaks Fire Walk with Me Waynes World

1993 Addams' Family Values Groundhog Day Hocus Pocus Jurassic Park Mrs Doubtfire Nightmare Before Christmas Secret Garden True Romance

1994 Ace Ventura Pet Detective Clerks Interview with the Vampire Leon: the Professional The Lion King Little Women Miracle on 34th Street Pulp Fiction Reality Bites Richie Rich The Santa Clause The Shawshank Redemption

1995 A Little Princess Clueless Cold Comfort Farm Jumanji Mallrats Pocahontas Se7en Toy Story The Usual Suspects

1996 101 Dalmations Bottle Rocket The Craft Fargo Independence Day James and the Giant Peach Mars Attacks Matilda Trainspotting

1997 Anaconda A Simple Wish Austin Powers The Borrowers Cube Cure The Fifth Element The Game Hercules Jackie Brown Liar Liar Princess Mononoke

1998 The Big Lebowski Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Mulan The Parent Trap Ring Rushmore The Truman Show

1999 10 Things I Hate About You American Beauty Austin Powers 2 Being John Malkovich The Blair Witch Project Dogma Fight Club The Green Mile The Haunting The Iron Giant Matrix The Mummy Stuart Little The Talented Mr Ripley Toy Story 2 The Virgin Suicides

2000 Almost Famous American Psycho Battle Royale Chicken Run The Emperor’s New Groove The Grinch Help! I’m a Fish Memento Requiem for a Dream The Road to El Dorado The State I Am in Unbreakable

2001 Amelie Donnie Darko Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone Hedwig and the Angry Inch Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Jeepers Creepers The Lord of the Rings Monsters Inc Moulin Rouge The Mummy Returns The Others Princess Arete The Princess Diaries The Royal Tenenbaums Shrek Spirited Away Wet Hot American Summer Zoolander

2002 28 Days Later About a Boy Austin Powers: Gold Member Catch Me if You Can The Cat Returns City of God Dark Water Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Ice Age Ju On: the Grudge Lilo and Stitch Panic Room The Ring Scooby-doo Signs Spider-man Stuart Little 2

2003 Big Fish Bruce Almighty The Cat in the Hat Cheaper by The Dozen Elf Finding Nemo Girl with a Pearl Earring I Capture the Castle Kangaroo Jack Kill Bill Vol.1 Lost in Translation Oldboy Peter Pan Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl The Room Rugrats Go Wild The Santa Clause 2 School of Rock

2004 A Series of Unfortunate Events The Day After Tomorrow Dodgeball Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Finding Neverland Five Children and It Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Howl’s Moving Castle The Incredibles Kill Bill Vol. 2 Life Aquatic The Machinist Mean Girls Napoleon Dynamite Polar Express Scooby-doo 2: Monsters Unleashed The Secret Window Shaun of the Dead Shrek 2 Spider-man 2 Spongebob Movie Team America The Village

2005 The 40 Yr Old Virgin Batman Begins Capote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Cheaper by the Dozen 2 The Chronicles of Narnia The Corpse Bride The Descent Grizzly Man Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy House of Wax Kronks New Groove Madagascar Nanny Mcphee Robots Shark Boy and Lava Girl The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants V for Vendetta Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-rabbit 2006 Accepted Black Sheep Borat Charlotte’s Web Clerks II Deck the Halls The Devil Wears Prada Flushed Away High School Musical The History Boys Little Miss Sunshine Marie Antoinette Miss Potter Nacho Libre The Night at the Museum Over the Hedge Pan’s Labyrinth The Santa Clause 3 Southland Tales Tekkonkinkreet Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny This is England Wicker Man Wind in the Willows

2007 Blades of Glory Bridge to Terabithia Charlie Bartlett The Darjeeling Limited Eagle Vs Shark Evan Almighty The Golden Compass High School Musical 2 Hot Fuzz Hot Rod Hp Order Phoenix Into the Wild Juno The Mist Mr Magoriums Wonder Emporium No Country for Old Men Ratatouille The Simpsons Movie Son of Rambow Spider-man 3 St Trinians Superbad There Will Be Blood Waitress Walk Hard Zodiac

2008 Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging Assassination of a High School President Batman: the Dark Knight The Boy in the Stripe Pyjamas Bronson Cloverfield Forgetting Sarah Marshall Let the Right One in Mamma Mia! Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist Ponyo Role Models The Secret of Moonacre The Spiderwick Chronicles The Strangers Tropic Thunder Wall-e The Wave Yes Man

2009 500 Days of Summer Adventureland The Boat That Rocked Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs Coraline District 9 Fantastic Mr Fox Funny People Hachi: a Dog's Tale Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Inglorious Basterds Jennifers Body Moon Mr Nobody Orphan The Road Splice Teenage Dirtbag Up Watchmen Where the Wild Things Are Whip It Zombieland

2010 127 Hours Alice in Wonderland Biutiful Blue Valentine Despicable Me Diary of a Wimpy Kid Easy a Gulliver's Travels Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Inception It's Kind of a Funny Story Kick Ass The Last Exorcism Let Me in Macgruber Megamind Remember Me Scott Pilgrim Vs the World Shutter Island Submarine Tangled Toy Story 3 True Grit

2011 Attack the Block Bridesmaids Cabin in the Woods Cowboys & Aliens Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules Drive Fright Night Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 The Help Hick Hugo Kill List Megan is Missing Red State The Skin I Live in Super 8 Tree of Life We Need to Talk Abut Kevin X-men First Class

2012 21 Jump Street American Mary Antiviral Avengers Batman: the Dark Night Rises Frankenweenie The Hunger Games Les Miserables Life of Pi Looper Moonrise Kingdom Paranorman The Perks of Being a Wallflower Pitch Perfect The Place Beyond the Pines Ruby Sparks Seven Psychopaths Sinister Stories We Tell Stuck in Love V/H/S The Watch Would You Rather Wreck It Ralph

2013 12 Years a Slave About Time The Book Thief Dark Skies Enemy Evil Dead How I Live Now The Kings of Summer The Lone Ranger Machete Kills Monsters University Night Moves Oculus Pacific Rim Palo Alto Prisoners The Purge Saving Mr Banks The Secret Life Walter Mitty Short Term 12 Shrek the Musical Snowpiercer Under the Skin V/H/S 2 We're the Millers

2014 22 Jump Street Annabellle As Above So Below The Babadook Bad Neighbours Big Eyes Big Hero 6 Bird Man Boxtrolls Comet Creep Ex Machina The Falling Gone Girl Goodnight Mommy The Grand Budapest Hotel Guardians of the Galaxy Interstellar Into the Woods It Follows John Wick Kingsman The Lego Movie Love & Mercy The Maze Runner Nightcrawler Paddington Pride Spring This is Where I Leave You Tusk Two Night Stand What We Do in the Shadows Whiplash Wish I Was Here X&Y

2015 Ant-man The Big Short Carol Demolition Departure The Final Girls The Good Dinosouar Green Room Hell House Llc Inside out The Invitation Jurassic World The Little Prince Me and Earl and the Dying Girl Mustang Our Little Sister Paper Towns Peanuts Movie The Revenant Room Sinister 2 The Stanford Prison Experiment Star Wars: the Force Awakens Suffragette Tale of Tales Turbo Kid Victoria The Visit The Witch

2016 10 Cloverfield Lane 20th Century Women A Cure for Wellness A Monster Calls Arrival Better Watch out The Bfg Captain Fantastic Deadpool Doctor Strange Don’t Breathe The Edge of Seventeen Everybody Wants Some Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them First Girl I Loved The Founder Free Fire The Fundamentals of Caring The Girl with All the Gifts The Good Neighbour The Handmaiden Hidden Figures The Hunt for the Wilderpeople I Am Not a Serial Killer Jackie Keanu Kubo and the Two Strings La La Land Manchester by the Sea Mascots Midnight Special Mindhorn Miss Stevens Moana Moonlight My Life As a Courgette The Neon Demon The Nice Guys Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping Raw The Secret Life of Pets Silence Sing Sing Street Streetcat Named Bob Suicide Squad Swiss Army Man Tallulah Train to Busan The Void The Wailing War on Everyone Yoga Hosers

2017 A Ghost Story Baby Driver The Babysitter Baywatch Before I Fall The Beguiled The Big Sick Blade Runner 2049 Boss Baby Brawl in Cell Block 99 Brigsby Bear The Bye Bye Man Call Me by Your Name Captain Underpants The Death of Stalin Detroit The Disaster Artist Dunkirk The Endless Fist Fight The Florida Project Geralds Game Get out Good Time Happy Death Day Hot Summer Nights I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore It It Comes at Night I Tonya Jumanji The Killing of a Sacred Deer Kong: Skull Island Lady Bird Lego Batman Life Logan Logan Lucky The Man Who Invented Christmas Mary and the Witches Flower Mollys Game Mother! Murder on the Orient Express My Friend Dahmer Okja Paddington 2 Phantom Thread Please Stand by The Ritual Rough Night The Shape of Water Spiderman Homecoming Split The Square Star Wars: the Last Jedi Thor: Ragnarok Thoroughbreds Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri The Tribes of Palos Verdes Xx You Were Never Really Here

2018 A Futile and Stupid Gesture Alex Strangelove American Animals Annihilation A Quiet Place Avengers: Infinity War Bad Times at the El Royale The Ballad of Buster Scruggs Black Panther Blakklansman Bohemian Rhapsody Bumblebeee Calibre Cam Can You Ever Forgive Me? The Christmas Chronicles Christopher Robin Climax Crazy Rich Asians Deadpool 2 Eighth Grade The Favourite First Man Greta The Grinch Hereditary Hotel Artemis The Incredibles 2 In Fabric Isle of Dogs Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom Leave No Trace The Little Stranger Love, Simon Mamma Mia Here We Go Again Mandy The Man Who Killed Don Quixote Mary Poppins Returns Mid90s The Miseducation of Cameron Post Mute Ophelia Overlord Pacific Rim: Uprising The Package The Polka King Possum Set It Up Shirkers Shoplifters The Slaughterhouse Rules Sorry to Bother You Spiderman: into the Spider Verse Strangers: Prey at Night Suspiria Tag To All the Boys I've Loved Before Tyrel Under the Silver Lake Vice Wildlife

2019 A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood Always Be My Maybe Animals Annabelle Comes Home The Art of Self Defence Avengers: Endgame Between 2 Ferns Booksmart Buffaloed Captain Marvel Color out of Space Come to Daddy Daniel Isn’t Real The Dead Don’t Die Doctor Sleep Dolomite is My Name Escape Room Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile The Farewell Fighting with My Family First Cow First Love Glass Godzilla: King of Monsters Good Boys Good Boys Halloween Honey Boy Honey Boy Hustlers In the Tall Grass The Irishman I See You Jay and Silent Bob Reboot John Wick 3: Parabellum Jojo Rabbit Joker Jumanji the Next Level Klaus Knives out The Last Black Man in San Francisco Late Night Lego Movie 2 The Lighthouse Little Monsters Little Women Ma Maleficent 2 Marriage Story Midsommar Missing Link Noelle Once Upon a Time in Hollywood The Other Lamb Parasite The Personal History of David Copperfield The Platform Pokemon Detective Pikachu Portrait of a Lady on Fire Ready or Not Rocket Man Saint Maud Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark The Secret Life of Pets 2 Shazam Someone Great Spider Man Far from Home Star Wars: the Rise of Skywalker Sword of Trust Them That Follow Toy Story 4 Uncut Gems Us The Vast of Night Villains Zombieland Double Tap

2020: An American Pickle The Babysitter: Killer Queen Bad Education Birds of Prey Borat Subsequent Moviefilm Brahms: the Boy Ii Broken Hearts Gallery The Call Chemical Hearts The Devil All the Time Emma. Eurovision Song Contest: the Story of Fire Saga The Grudge Hamilton His House Hubie Halloween The Hunt The Invisible Man Kajillionaire The King of Staten Island Little Women Love and Monsters My Octopus Teacher The New Mutants The Old Guard Palm Springs Possessor Promising Young Woman Run She Dies Tomorrow Shiva Baby Spontaneous Spree Swallow Tenet The Trial of the Chicago 7 The Vast of Night We Can Be Heroes Zappa Zola

2021: Army of the Dead Army of Thieves Bad Trip Candyman Fear Street Part 1: 1994 Fear Street Part 2: 1978 Fear Street Part 3: 1666 Flora and Ulysses Free Guy The French Dispatch Love Hard Luca Moxie Pig Zack Snyder’s Justice League

[betterdaysareatoenailaway]

RANDOM REVIEW #2: ANY GIVEN SUNDAY (1999)

“This game has got to be about more than winning. You’re part of something.”  Any Given Sunday (1999), directed by Oliver Stone and featuring Jamie Foxx, Dennis Quaid, Cameron Diaz, Al Pacino, LL Cool J, James Woods, and Matthew Modine, is my favourite sports movie of all time. Of all time.

I’m not betraying my favourite sport by saying this. The Mighty Ducks is a kid’s movie. It’s okay, but it’s not a timeless classic. I don’t like the Slap Shot series, Sudden Death is fun but silly, and the Goon movies were a missed opportunity. The only truly good scene in Goon is the diner scene where Liev Schreiber tells Seann William Scott: “Don’t go trying to be a hockey player. You’ll get your heart ripped out.”

  Such is the sad circumstance of the hockey enforcer. They all want to play, not just fight. Here’s a link to a video in which the most feared fighter in the history of the NHL, Bob Probert, explains that he wanted to be “an offensive threat...like Bobby Orr,” not a fighter: https://youtu.be/4sbxejbMH4g?t=118 Heartbreaking. But not unusual.

Donald Brashear, Marty McSorley, Tie Domi, Stu “The Grim Reaper” Grimson, Frazer McLaren: they all had hockey skills. But they were told they had to fight to remain on the roster, so they fought. As Schreiber says in the film: “You know they just want you to bleed, right?”  If the players don’t bleed, they don’t get to stay on the team. So they fight, and they pay dearly for it later. Many former fighters have CTE or other head injuries that make day-to-day life difficult. The makers of Goon should have taken that scene and run with it. I was so disappointed they didn’t, especially given what happened right around the time the film came out, with the tragic suicides of Wade Belak, Derek Boogaard, and Rick Rypien, all enforcers, all dead in a single summer. So Hollywood hasn’t even made a good hockey movie, let alone a great one. Baseball has a shitload of good films, probably because the slower pace of play makes it easier to film. Moneyball has a terrific home run scene, Rookie of the Year does too. Angels in the Outfield was a big favourite of mine when I was a kid, plus all the Major League films, and Bull Durham. 

Football has two good movies: The Program (1993) and Rudy (1993).    

And football has one masterpiece. The one I am writing about today.

A young Oliver Stone trying not to die in Vietnam. ^ Now, I know Stone is laughed at these days, given his nutty conspiracy theories and shitty behaviour and the marked decline in the quality of his films (although 2012’s Savages was underrated). I know Stone is about as subtle as a sledgehammer, but do you want a football movie to be subtle? Baseball, sure. It’s a game of fine distinctions, but football? Football is war. And war is about steamrolling the enemy, distinctions be damned, which is why Any Given Sunday is such an amazing sports film. I love the way it shows the dark side of football. In fact, the film is so dark that the NFL withdrew their support and cooperation, forcing Stone to create a fictitious league and team to portray what he wanted to portray.

This is not to say the movie is fresh or original. Quite the opposite. Any Given Sunday has every single sports film cliché you can think of. But precisely because it tries to stuff every single cliché into its runtime, the finished product is not a cliched mess so much as a rich tapestry, a dense cinema verite depiction of the dizzying highs and depressing lows of a professional sports team as it wins, loses, parties, and staggers its way through a difficult season.  Cliché #1: The aging quarterback playing his final year, trying to win one last championship. (Dennis Quaid) 

Sample dialog: Dennis Quaid (lying in a hospital bed severely injured): Don’t give up on me coach. Al Pacino: You’re like a son to me. I’ll never give up on you. ^ I know this sounds awful. But it’s actually fuckin’ great. Cliché #2: The arrogant upstart new player who likes hip hop and won’t respect the old regime. (Jamie Foxx) 

Cliché #3: The walking wounded veteran who could die if he gets hit one more time. Coincidentally, he needs just one more tackle to make his million-dollar bonus for the season. (Lawrence Taylor) 

Cliché #4: The female executive in a man’s world who must assert herself aggressively in order to win the grudging respect of her knuckle-dragging male colleagues (Cameron Diaz). Diaz is fantastic in the role, though she should have had more screen time, given that the main conflict in the film is very much about the new generation, as represented by her and Jamie Foxx, trying to replace the old generation, represented by Al Pacino, Dennis Quaid, Jim Brown, and Lawrence Taylor. Some people think Diaz’s character is too calculating, but here’s the thing: she’s right. Too many sports GMs shell out millions for the player an individual used to be, not the player he presently is. “I am not resigning a 39-year old QB, no matter how good he was,” she tells Pacino’s coach character, and you know what? She’s right. The Leafs’ David Clarkson signing is proof positive of the perils of signing a player based on past performance, not current capability. Diaz’s character is the living embodiment of the question: do you want to win, or do you want to be loyal? Cuz sometimes you can’t do both.

Cliché #5: The team doctor who won’t sacrifice his ethics for the good of the team (Matthew Modine).

Cliché #6: The team doctor who will sacrifice his ethics for the good of the team (James Woods) 

Cliché #7: The grizzled, thrice-divorced coach who has sacrificed everything for his football team, to the detriment of his social and familial life, who must give a stirring speech at some point in the film (Al Pacino…who goes out there and gives the all-time greatest sports movie “we must win this game” speech) 

Cliché #8: The assistant or associate coach who takes a parental interest in his players, playing the good cop to the head coach’s bad cop (former NFL star Jim Brown). 

Best quote: “Who wants to be thinking about blitzes and crossblocks when you’re holding your grandkids in your arms? That’s why I wanna coach high school. Kids don’t know nothing. They just wanna play.” 

Cliché #9: The player who can’t stop doing drugs (L.L. Cool J).

Okay, so the first thing that needs to be talked about is Al Pacino’s legendary locker room speech.  Now, it’s the coach’s job to rile up and inspire the players. But eloquence alone won’t do it. If you use certain big words, you lose them (remember Brian Burke being endlessly mocked by the Toronto media for using the word “truculent?”). The coach must deliver the message in a language the players understand, while still making victory sound lofty and aspirational. This is not an easy thing to accomplish. One of my favourite inspirational lines was spoken by “Iron” Mike Keenan to the New York Rangers before Game 7 against the Vancouver Canucks in 1994. “Win tonight, and we’ll walk together forever.” Oooh that’s gorgeous. But Pacino’s speech is right up there with it. 

“You know, when you get old in life…things get taken from you. That’s parta life. But you only learn that when you start losin’ stuff. You find out…life’s this game of inches. So’s football. In either game – life or football – the margin for error is so small. I mean…one half a step too late or too early and you don’t quite make it…one half second too slow, too fast, you don’t quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team, we fight for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches that’s gonna make the fuckin difference between winnin’ and losin’! Between livin’ and dyin’!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_iKg7nutNY  Somehow, against all odds, Any Given Sunday succeeds. It is the Cinderella run of sports movies. You root for the film as you watch it. The dressing room scenes are incredible…the Black players listen to the newest hip hop while a trio of lunkhead white dudes headbang and scream “Hetfield is God.” There is a shower scene where a linebacker, tired of being teased about the size of his penis, tosses his pet alligator into the showers where it terrorizes his tormentors. There is a scene where a halfback has horrible diarrhea, but he’s hooked up to an IV so the doctor (Matthew Modine) has to follow him into the toilet cubicle, crinkling his nose as the player evacuates his bowels. There is a scene where someone loses an eye (the only scene in the film where Stone’s over-the-top approach misses the mark). There are scenes that discuss concussions (which is why the NFL refused to cooperate for the film), where Lawrence Taylor has to sign a waiver absolving the team of responsibility if he is hurt or paralyzed or killed. I wonder how purists and old school football fans reacted to the news that Oliver Stone was making a football film. If they even knew who he was (not totally unlikely…Stone made a string of jingoistic war movies in the 1980s) they probably thought the heavy hands of Oliver would ruin the film, take the poetry out of every play. But the actual football is filmed perfectly. The camera gets nice and low for the tackles. It flies the arcs of perfect spiral passes. It shows the chaos of a defensive line barreling down the field. When Al Pacino asked quarterback Dan Marino (fresh off his own Hollywood experience acting in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective) what it was like to be an NFL QB, Marino said: “Imagine standing on a highway with traffic roaring at you while trying to read Hamlet.” A great explanation. Shoulda made the movie. So the football itself is fabulously done. Much better than what Cameron Crowe did in the few football scenes in Jerry Maguire. The Program had some great football, as did Rudy, but neither come close to the heights of Any Given Sunday. In one of the film’s best scenes, Jamie Foxx insists that his white coaches have routinely placed him in situations where he was doomed to fail or prone to injury, and we believe him because white coaches have been doing that to Black players for decades. Quarterback Doug Williams, who led his Washington Redskins team to a Superbowl victory in 1987, was frequently referred to by even liberal media outlets as a “Black quarterback,” instead of just “quarterback,” as if his skin colour necessitated a qualification. Even now, in 2021, the majority of quarterbacks are white, although the gap is gradually closing. The 2020 season saw the highest number of starting Black quarterbacks, with 10 out of a possible 32.  Quarterback is the most cerebral position on the field, and for a long time there was a racist belief that Black men couldn’t do the job. Foxx’s character is a composite of many of the different Black quarterbacks who came of age in the 1990s, fighting for playing time against white QBs beloved by their fan base, fawned over in hagiographic Sports Illustrated profiles, and protected by the good ol’ boys club of team executives and coaching staff. Foxx’s character isn’t demoted because he can’t play the game. He wins several crucial games for his team en route to the playoffs. He’s demoted because he listens to hip hop in the dressing room, because he recorded a rap song and shot a video for it, and because he’s cocky. Yes, the scene where he asks out Cameron Diaz is sexist, as if her power only comes from her sexuality, not her intelligence and business acumen, but it’s meant to show how overly confident Foxx is, not that he’s a sexist prick. Any Given Sunday isn’t a single issue film. It’s basically an omni-protest piece. It gleefully shows football’s dark side, and there is no director better than Oliver Stone for muck-raking. He’s in full-on investigative journalist mode in Any Given Sunday, showing how and why players play through serious brain injuries. How because they are given opiates, often leading to debilitating addictions (this happens in all contact sports...Colorado Avalanche player Marek Svatos overdosed on heroin a few years after retiring from injuries). As to why, Stone gives two reasons. One, team doctors are paid by the team, not the players, therefore their decisions will benefit the team, not the players. And two, the players themselves are encouraged to underreport injuries and play through them because stats are incentivized. James Woods unethical doctor argues with Modine’s idealistic one because an MRI the latter called for a player to have costs the team $20k. But the player in question, Lawrence Taylor, plays anyway because his contract is stat incentivized and if he makes on more tackle he gets a million dollars. Incentivizing stats leads to players playing hurt. And although I loathe this term, a lazy go-to for film critics, Stone really does give an unflinching account of how this shit happens and why. When Williams is inevitably hurt and lying prone on the field, he woozily warns the paramedics who are placing him on a stretcher to “be careful…I’m worth a million dollars.” It’s tragic, yet you’re happy for him. The film really makes you care about these guys.  Thanks to the smartly written script, the viewer knows that Williams has four kids, and you’re pleased he made his bonus because, in all likelihood, after he retires, his injuries will prevent him from any kind of gainful employment (naturally, they give the TV analyst jobs to retired white players, unless Williams can somehow land the coveted token Black guy gig). Stone is not above fan service, a populist at heart, and he stuffs the film with former and then-current NFL players, a miraculous stunt given the fact that the NFL revoked their cooperation. Personally, I think this was a good thing because it meant Stone didn’t have to compromise (the league wanted editorial say on all issues pertaining to the league…meaning they would have cut the best storyline, which is the playing hurt one). It also meant that they had to rename the team and the league. While I’m sure this took away from the realism for some fans, I’m cool with it. It also allowed the moviemakers to name the team the Sharks, a perfect name for this roving band of predatory capitalist sports executives. In another example of fan service, the call-girl Pacino’s quintessential lonely workaholic character rents a girlfriend experience from is none other than Elizabeth Berkley of Showgirls, who had been unfairly blacklisted after the titular Verhoven/Esterhaz venture, a movie my wife showed me one day while I was dopesick, which I became so transfixed and mesmerized by that I forgot I was. As mentioned above, the only misstep in the film is one of the offshoots of the Playing Hurt arc, where a player loses an eye on the field. Not because he gets poked, but because he gets hit so hard his eye simply falls out. A medic runs onto the field and puts the white globe on ice. Stone cast a player with a glass eye in order to achieve this effect. No CGI! Still, the scene is unconvincing, a tad too over-the-top. But this is Oliver Stone. At least Any Given Sunday’s sole over-the-top moment is a throwaway scene lasting all of thirty seconds. It easily could have been a secondary plot-line in which government officials try to sneak a Cuban football prodigy out of Castro’s communist stronghold but the player is brutally murdered the morning the officials arrive at his apartment to escort him to the private plane. Or else the team GM is revealed to be a massive international cocaine dealer. Or the tight end is one half of a serial killer couple. The film follows its own advice, focusing more on the players growth, particularly Beamon’s (Foxx). The anonymity of the title, Any Given Sunday, elevates the game, not the players. Thank God, the movie doesn’t force Beamon to assimilate into Pacino’s mold. He buys into the team-first philosophy without renouncing his idiosyncratic POV or his fierce individuality. This is a triumph. One of my biggest problems with sports is the flattening effect it can have on creative individuals. Players take media training in order to sound as alike as possible during media interviews, a long row of stoic giants spouting cliches. It’s boring. Which is why media latch onto a loudmouth, even while they scold him for it. All sports are dying for an intelligent mouthpiece who can explain his motivations in a succinct, sound-bite-friendly, manner. Sports are entertainment. As much as I love Sidney Crosby, in my heart I have to go with Alexander Ovechkin because Ovechkin is far more thrilling, both on and off the ice. Unlike almost every other NHL star before him, all of whom were forced to kneel and kiss Don Cherry’s Rock Em Sock Em ring, Ovechkin defiantly told the media he simply did not care about Cherry or Cherry’s disgusting parental reaction to one of Ovie’s more creative goal celebrations (called a “celly” in the biz). On the play in question, Ovechkin scored the goal, then dropped his stick and mimed warming his hands over it, as if his stick were on fire. As cheesy as the celebration appeared to the naked eye, it’s both a funny and accurate notion. Ovechkin was the hottest scorer in the league for many years and his stick was on fire, metaphorically speaking. The only celly I can think of that matches up in terms of creativity and entertainment value came from Teemu Selanne in 1993, who scored a beauty of a goal, threw one of his gloves straight up into the air, then pumped his stick like a shotgun while “shooting” his glove. Of course, Cherry took exception to it. Cherry’s favourite goal celebration features Bobby Orr putting his head down and refraining from raising his hands over his head. Cherry’s idea of an appropriate goal celly is no celly at all. This from a man who claims “we’ve got to sell our game.” But when an arrogant player shows up and he’s not white, he’s in for a shitload of bad press. Foxx’s Beamon illustrates this beautifully when he yells at Pacino after Pacino cuts him for an older QB who has lost four games this season. “Don’t play that racism card with me,” Pacino warns. “Okay…okay…” Foxx nods, “Maybe it’s not racism. Maybe it’s ‘placism’…as in…a brother got to know his place.”

Here is the original theatrical trailer, featuring Garbage’s classic “Push It.”

Above Lawrence Taylor begs Matthew Modine for Cortazone.  There’s also a great scene where Pacino is trying to figure out where he has gone wrong and Diaz just looks at him. “You got old,” she says simply. No enterprise is more cruel to an aging human being than sports. And this movie makes football a big giant corporate machine that chews players up and spits them out, injured and drug addicted, after four or five years. Those who play for a decade are lucky. This is still how the NFL works. And the NHL is increasingly becoming a young man’s game. Experience matters less and less.

When I started watching hockey in the 90s, players regularly competed into their late 30s. Not so anymore. Players peak at 23-24 now, and are often out of the league by age 35. Thornton and Chelois are exceptions, not the rule. After more than two hours, Any Given Sunday finally lurches across the finish line, bravely refusing to give its viewers a traditional happy ending, in the great tradition of underdog sports films like Rocky and Rudy. The bombshell dropped by Pacino’s character at the end feels less surprising than inevitable, but by now the movie has explored so much of professional sports' seedy underbelly that you're glad it's over. The film is great but exhausting. Stone seems to be advancing the notion that the sport itself is pure, but the people in it are corrupt. If money weren’t involved, the game would be played for its own sake.

I agree with this. People playing pond hockey are engaging in wholesome fun, not necessarily practicing to make a professional league. Commerce corrupts the purity of the game, and the extent to which it corrupts is directly proportional to how badly the individual in question needs the commerce. Of course, the sport is highly racialized, with people in positions of authority white, and those being told what to do with their bodies Black.

Any Given Sunday is an important film, but it never sacrifices entertainment for the sake of moralizing. That it pulls off such a strong moralistic stance is a testament to the actors, who are all incredible, and the material, which is among the strongest of Stone’s career.

He never really made a great movie after this one. So check it out sometime.

[fredfilmsblog]

FredFilms promises...

Creators first.

I've always believed that we owe you, our fans and now at FredFilms we all take it as gospel. We owe you our best work, of course. But beyond we examine everything about ourselves constantly, to assure ourselves and you that we’re trying to stay on the right track. To that end, whatever work I’ve done –whether it be in the music business, the network television business, and certainly, cartoons– has been done with making public promises that try and assure you that we’ll deliver.

To that end, I thought it would be good to print out a new set of our limited edition postcards to make the FredFilms promises completely clear. This one’s the first.

As throughout my entire cartoon career, and now at FredFilms, it’s been my  mission to let exceptional creators do their thing. We’re not in the business of micro-managing our creative talent. Instead, we seek out and nurture creators who have a story they need to tell and give them as much room as possible to tell it.. We go to festivals, art schools, comedy clubs, and explore the dustiest corners of the internet to find folks we know we have to work with.

We believe there are new stories to be told. 

We promise.

.....

It might seem extreme, but I thought it might be interesting to list all of the creators that have worked on my productions, starting in 1995 with What A Cartoon! at Hanna-Barbera and Cartoon Network in 1995. If you look at any of the 140 individual links (!) you’ll see that almost all of them have had estimable careers in cartoons or animation adjacent (comics, video games, VFX and the like). Some have created hit series with me, some without (sigh!) and some have become quite famous. One way or the other, they’ve all been amazing.

Raul Aguirre

Natasha Allegri

Robert Alvarez

Amy Anderson

Tex Avery

Ralph Bakshi

Joe  Barbera

Damien Barchowsky

Charlie Bean

Jerry Beck

D.R. Beitzel

Mike Bell

Tim Biskup

Bob Boyle

Chris “Spike” Brandt

Eric Bryan

Michelle Bryan

David Burd

Bill Burnett

Breehn Burns

Jaime Diaz

Angelo diNallo

Kyle A. Carrozza

Elyse Castro

Tony Cervone

Alison Cowles

David Cowles

Rick Delcarmen

Jeff DeGrandis

Andrew Dickman

John R. Dilworth

Davis Doi

Greg Eagles

Jerry Eisenberg

Warren Ellis

Greg Emison

John Eng

Jun Falkenstein

David Feiss

Eddie Fitzgerald

John Fountain  

Manny Galán

Dana Galin

James Giordano

Alan Goodman

Tom Gran

Mike Gray

Antoine Guilbaud

Bill Hanna

Meinert Hansen

Russ Harris

Butch Hartman

Andy Helm

Adam Henry

Bill Ho

Larry Huber  

Gabe Janisz  

George Johnson  

Don Jurwich

Kang yo-kong

Ken Kessel

Jiwook Kim

Alex Kirwan

Kevin Kolde

Grant Kolton

Erik Knutson

Dahveed Kolodny-Nagy

Diane Kredensor

Harvey Kurtzman  

Juris Lisovs

Seth MacFarlane

Steve Marmel

Miss Kelly Martin

Eugene Mattos

Craig McCracken

Jon McClenahan

John McIntyre

Harry McLaughlin

Dan Meth

Mike Milo

Zac Moncrief

Russell Mooney

Jesse Moynihan

Justin Moynihan

Adam Muto

Andre Nieves

Jeret Ochi

Joe Orrantia

Victor Ortado

Rory Panagotopulos

Paul Parducci

Van Partible

Lincoln Peirce

Jonni Phillips

Jason Plapp

Polygon Pictures

Bill Plympton

Carlos Ramos

Michael Rann

Russ Reiley

Christopher Reineman

Rob Renzetti

G. Brian Reynolds

John Reynolds

John Rice

Bill Riling

Mel Roach

Eric Robles

Mike Rosenthal

Jason Butler Rote

Jim Ryan

Fred Seibert

Seo jun-kyo

Don Shank

David Shute

Brent Sievers

Achiu So

Hamish Steele

Elizabeth Stonecypher

Jennifer Cho Suhr

Genndy Tartakovsky

Doug TenNapel

Aliki Theofilopoulos

Miles Thompson

Karl Toerge

Kate Tsang

Guy Vasilovich

Byron Vaughns

Joel Veitch

Pat Ventura

Anne Walker

Vincent Waller

Pendleton Ward

Dave Wasson

Mike Wellins

Melissa Wolfe

Martin Woolley

Jim Wyatt

Niki Yang

Carey Yost

.....

FredFilms Postcard Series 2.1

From the postcard back:

Congratulations! You are one of 75 people to receive this limited edition FredFilms postcard!

www.fredfilms.com

A FredFilms promise: Creators first.

FredFilms’ mission is to ‘put the right people in the room.’ By helping extraordinary creators we can produce innovative shows with enduring characters.

We know there a new stories to be told.

Executive producer: Fred Seibert

Series 2.1 [mailed out April 6, 2021]

[sandramiksaauthor]

Yearly Reading Wrap Up: 2020

1. La Description Du Monde by Marco Polo ⭐⭐

2. Du côté de chez Swann (À la recherche du temps perdu #1) by Marcel Proust ⭐⭐⭐

3. Discours Du Récit by Gérard Genette ⭐⭐⭐

4. The Private Life of the Diary by Sally Bayley ⭐⭐⭐⭐

5. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

6. Let it Snow by John Green ⭐⭐⭐⭐

7. The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner by Alan Sillitoe ⭐⭐⭐⭐

8. Roland Barthes by Roland Barthes by Roland Barthes ⭐⭐⭐⭐

9. L'ignorance by Milan Kundera ⭐⭐⭐⭐

10. Mary Ventura and the Ninth Kingdom: A Story by Sylvia Plath ⭐⭐⭐⭐

11. Volkswagen Blues by Jacques Poulin ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

12. Enfance by Nathalie Sarraute ⭐⭐⭐⭐

13. Une femme by Annie Ernaux ⭐⭐⭐⭐

14. Je ne suis pas sortie de ma nuit by Annie Ernaux ⭐⭐⭐⭐

15. L’Amour, roman by Camille Laurens ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

16. Open City by Teju Cole ⭐⭐⭐⭐

17. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern ⭐⭐⭐⭐

18. Philosopher ou faire l'amour by Ruwen Ogien ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

19. Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley ⭐⭐⭐⭐

20. The Diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait by Frida Kahlo ⭐⭐⭐

21. On the Road by Jack Kerouac ⭐⭐

22. Les particules élémentaires by Michel Houellebecq ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

23. Red Doc> (Red #2) by Anne Carson ⭐⭐⭐⭐

24. Queen of Air and Darkness (The Dark Artifices #3) by Cassandra Clare ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

25. La Barque silencieuse by Pascal Quignard ⭐⭐⭐

26. L'autofictif père et fils by Éric Chevillard ⭐⭐⭐

27. All We Saw: Poems by Anne Michaels ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

28. Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon ⭐⭐⭐⭐

29. Blue Horses: Poems by Mary Oliver ⭐⭐⭐⭐

30. The Latte Factor by David Bach ⭐⭐⭐⭐

31. La Poursuite du bonheur by Michel Houellebecq ⭐⭐⭐⭐

32. Rester vivant: et autres textes by Michel Houellebecq ⭐⭐⭐

33. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (The Hunger Games #0) by Suzanne Collins ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

34. I Am Not Your Negro by James Baldwin ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

35. The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin ⭐⭐⭐

36. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

37. Wanderlust: A History of Walking by Rebecca Solnit ⭐⭐⭐⭐

38. The Red Scrolls of Magic (The Eldest Curses #1) by Cassandra Clare ⭐⭐⭐⭐

39. Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare ⭐⭐⭐⭐

40. Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified by Robert O. Friedel ⭐⭐⭐⭐

41. I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi ⭐⭐⭐⭐

42. Wild Is the Wind by Carl Phillips ⭐⭐⭐⭐

43. Unshakeable by Anthony Robbins ⭐⭐⭐⭐

44. Stray by Stephanie Danler ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

45. Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki ⭐⭐⭐⭐

46. Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

47. She Came to Slay by Erica Armstrong Dunbar ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

48. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey ⭐⭐⭐⭐

49. Life of the Party by Olivia Gatwood ⭐⭐⭐⭐

50. Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable by Seth Godin ⭐⭐⭐⭐

51. Twilight (The Twilight Sage #1) by Stephanie Meyer ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

52. Evermore by Julian Barnes ⭐⭐⭐

53. The Dark Between Stars by Atticus Poetry ⭐

54. The Truth About Magic by Atticus Poetry ⭐

55. Wenjack by Joseph Boyden ⭐⭐

56. It’s Hard to Be Human by Valerie Buhagiar ⭐⭐⭐⭐

57. New Moon (The Twilight Saga #2) by Stephenie Meyer ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

58. The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will Piss You Off! by Gloria Steinem ⭐⭐⭐⭐

59. Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Vol. 1 by Young Kim ⭐⭐⭐⭐

60. Eclipse (The Twilight Saga #3) by Stephenie Meyer ⭐⭐⭐⭐

61. Orbit: Poems by Cynthia Zarin ⭐⭐⭐

62. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle ⭐⭐⭐⭐

63. The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

64. A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi ⭐⭐⭐⭐

65. Breaking Dawn (The Twilight Saga #4) by Stephenie Meyer ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

66. Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin ⭐⭐

67. In Conclusion, Don’t Worry About It by Lauren Graham ⭐

68. My Ideal Bookshelf by Thessaly La Force ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

69. Things We Lost in the Fire by Mariana Enríquez ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

70. Saga Vol. 9 by Brian K. Vaughan ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

71. I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

72. #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso ⭐⭐⭐⭐

73. Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell ⭐⭐⭐⭐

74. Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass by Lana Del Rey ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

75. The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon ⭐⭐⭐

76. The Secret History by Donna Tartt ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

77. She Must Be Mad by Charly Cox ⭐⭐⭐

78. home body by Rupi Kaur ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

79. Wind in a Box by Terrance Hayes ⭐⭐⭐

80. No One Is Too Small to Make a Difference by Greta Thunberg ⭐⭐⭐⭐

81. Howl and Other Poems by Allen Ginsberg ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

82. Normal People by Sally Rooney ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

83. Almost Midnight: Two Festive Short Stories by Rainbow Rowell ⭐⭐⭐

84. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens ⭐⭐⭐

85. Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris ⭐⭐

86. Monstress, Vol. 3: Haven (Monstress #3) by Marjorie M. Liu ⭐⭐⭐⭐

87. Monstress, Vol. 4: The Chosen (Monstress #4) by Marjorie M. Liu ⭐⭐⭐

88. Monstress, Vol. 5: Warchild (Monstress #5) by Marjorie M. Liu ⭐⭐⭐

89. My Book With No Pictures by B.J. Novak ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

90. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner (The Twilight Saga #3.5) by Stephenie Meyer ⭐⭐⭐⭐

91. The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide by Stephenie Meyer ⭐⭐⭐⭐

92. Midnight Sun (The Twilight Saga #5) by Stephenie Meyer ⭐⭐⭐⭐

[thechanelmuse]

2019 Albums/EPs I’ve Enjoyed

Umm...Cleary I’ve been listening to a lot of music this year. I did not expect my list to be this long lol. Anywho, hopefully some of these are new to you all and you enjoy them as well. 

JAZZ

Catherine Russell - Alone Together

Chick Corea, Christian McBribe & Brian Blade - Trilogy 2

Emilio Solla Tango Jazz Orchestra - Puertos: Music from International Waters

Jazzmeia Horn - Love and Liberation

Joshua Redman - Come What May

Joshua Redman and Brooklyn Rider - Sun on Sand

GOSPEL

Kirk Franklin - Long Live Love

RAP

Gang Starr - One of the Best Yet

GoldLink - Diaspora

Denzel Curry - ZUU

Doja Cat - Hot Pink

Duckwrth - The Falling Man

Little Brother - May the Lord Watch

Little Simz - GREY Area

Megan Thee Stallion - Fever

Rapsody - Eve

Tyler, The Creator - IGOR

BLENDED GENRES

Anderson .Paak - Ventura

Beyoncé - The Lion King: The Gift

Brittany Howard - Jamie

Burna Boy - African Giant

Caroline Shaw and Attacca Quartet - Orange

Christian Scott aTunde Adjuah - Ancestral Recall

The Cinematic Orchestra - To Believe

Flying Lotus - Flamagra

FKA twigs - MAGDALANE

Hozier - Wasteland, Baby!

Jacob Collier - Djesse Vol. 2

Michael Kiwanuka - KIWANUKA

Solange - When I Get Home

Tank and the Bangas - Green Balloon

POP/ELECTRONIC

Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

Hayden James - Between Us

Labrinth - Imagination & the Misfit Kid and Euphoria (2 projects; the second one is technically a soundtrack but I’m adding it here)

Lizzo - Cuz I Love You

Lucy Rose - No Words Left

Tori Kelly - Inspired by True Events

Yuna - Rogue

R&B/SOUL

Alex Isley - The Beauty of Everything, Pt. 2 and Wilton (2 projects)

Ari Lennox - Shea Butter Baby

SiR - Chasing Summer

Emily King - Scenery

Emotional Oranges - The Juice: Vol 1

Eryn Allen Kane - a tree planted by water

India.Arie - Worthy

Jerome Thomas - Mood Swings

Jordan Rakei - Origin

Leven Kali - Leven Kali: Low Tide

Lucky Daye - Painted

Nicole Bus - KAIROS

Raphael Saadiq - Jimmy Lee

Sinead Harnett - Lessons in Love

Snoh Aalegra - Ugh, those feels again

Xavier Omär & Sango - Moments Spent Loving You

[kanye--westeros]

Top Albums Of 2019

1. IGOR - Tyler, The Creator (Favorite Track: NEW MAGIC WAND)

2. III - BANKS (Favorite Track: Stroke)

3. To Myself - Baby Rose (Favorite Track: Sold Out)

4. Eve - Rapsody (Favorite Track: Aaliyah)

5. All Of My Heroes Are Cornballs - JPEGMAFIA (Favorite Track: Jesus Forgive Me, I Am A Thot)

6. Leak 04-13: Bait Ones - Jai Paul (Favorite Track: Str8 Outta Mumbai)

7. Diaspora - GoldLink (Favorite Track: Rumble)

8. BUBBA - KAYTRANADA (Favorite Track: Go DJ)

9. YU - Rosie Lowe (Favorite Track: Little Bird)

10. MAGDALENE - FKA Twigs (Favorite Track: holy terrain)

11. Painted - Lucky Daye (Favorite Track: Real Games)

12. Chasing Summer - SiR (Favorite Track: Hair Down)

13. KIWANUKA - Michael Kiwanuka (Favorite Track: You Ain’t The Problem)

14. Assume Form - James Blake (Favorite Track: Mulholland)

15. Heavy Is The Head - Stormzy (Favorite Track: Handsome)

16. The Lost Boy - YBN Cordae (Favorite Track: RNP)

17. LEGACY! LEGACY! - Jamila Woods (Favorite Track: MUDDY)

18. Revenge Of The Dreamers III - Dreamville (Favorite Track: Sacrifices)

19. Everything’s For Sale - Boogie (Favorite Track: Skydive)

20. Free Nationals - Free Nationals (Favorite Track: Eternal Light)

Honorable Mentions:

Heard It In A Past Life - Maggie Rogers, Injury Reserve - Injury Reserve, Outer Peace - Toro Y Moi, Cosmic Wind - Lion Babe, Thank U, Next - Ariana Grande, Rap Or Go To The League - 2 Chainz, Titanic Rising - Weyes Blood, Hear Me Out - Reignwolf, CrasH Talk - ScHoolboy Q, When We All Go To Sleep, Where Do We Go - Billie Eilish, Green Balloon - Tank and the Bangas, Shea Butter Baby - Ari Lennox, Rogue - Yuna, ZUU - Denzel Curry, Flamagra - Flying Lotus, Bandana - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib, Immunity - Clairo, Clarity - Kim Petras, Port Of Miami 2 - Rick Ross, Ventura - Anderson. Paak, Brandon Banks - Maxo Kream, Scenery - Emily King, i,i - Bon Iver, GINGER - Brockhampton, Red Hearse - Red Hearse, Case Study 01 - Daniel Caesar, Norman Fucking Rockwell - Lana Del Rey, Mirrorland - EARTHGANG, Is He Real? - IDK, Late Night Feelings - Mark Ronson, House Of Sugar - (Sandy) Alex G, Charli - Charli XCX, Jaime - Brittany Howard, KIRK - DaBaby, Violet Street - Local Natives, All Mirrors - Angel Olsen, uknowhatimsayin? - Danny Brown, Closer To Grey - Chromatics, Ugh, Those Feels Again - Snoh Aalegra, Pang - Caroline Polachek, The Sailor - Rich Brian, TURN OFF THE LIGHT - Kim Petras, Cheap Queen - King Princess, Pony - Rex Orange County, Reflection Of Self: The Head Trip - Stalley, Grey Area - Little Simz, Twenty Twenty - djo, Hot Pink - Doja Cat, UNDER8ED - Pardison Fontaine, Black Pumas - Black Pumas, I Was Depressed Until I Made This - Kembe X, Hyperspace - Beck, Fear Inoculum - Tool, Fine Line - Harry Styles, HAN - Berhana, Imagination & The Misfit Kid - Labrinth, Little Ghost - Moonchild

Notable Mixtapes/EPs:

Hi My Name Is Flume - Flume, Dying From Crying - James Fauntleroy, Days Before Forever - Muhteyoh, Dangerous - Shay Lia, Recorded In My Car EP - Tabby, He/Do You Love Her Now EP - Jai Paul, The Falling Man - DUCKWRTH, live fast. die never. - Lil Rocket, Angel’s Pulse - Blood Orange, TDT - Big K.R.I.T, Care Package - Drake, Floor Seats - A$AP Ferg, Choke - Poppy, This Summer EP - Alessia Cara, Dark Moon Flower - Shane Eagle, MOTIONS - Melii, Ylang Ylang EP - FKJ, Lamb Over Rice - Action Bronson, JACKBOYS - JACKBOYS

Great Songs On Decent or Bad Albums:

“A-OK (Everything’s Perfect)” by Terror Jr. “Crushed Up” by Future ”Maybe You’re The Reason” by The Japanese House “North Star” by Offset x Cee-Lo Green “Open It Up” by Higher Brothers ”Sandstorm” by Mereba x JID “Dreams” by Solange “So Bad” by Gesaffelstein x HAIM ”Girls & Boys” by Jesse “Drugs” by Yelawolf “Unnatural Born Killer” by Yelawolf “Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind” by Logic “Sunflower” by Vampire Weekend x Steve Lacy “Set” by Ciara “KRIT HERE” by Big K.R.I.T ”Lay Me Down” by Steve Lacy “Outta My Head” by Khalid x John Mayer “No Drug Like Me” by Carly Rae Jepsen “Frontier” by Holly Herndon “Left Hand” by Beast Coast “Sucker” by The Jonas Brothers “Baby Boy” by Kevin Abstract “Summertime In Paris” by Jaden x Willow “Time Machine” by Willow “Eternal” by Chance The Rapper x Smino “Mannequin Challenge” by Young Thug x Juice WRLD “Find Your Way Back” by Beyonce “Sufi Woman” by Jidenna “Show Me That You Love” by Common x Jill Scott “Camp America” by 93PUNX “Carried Away” by H.E.R. “Take What You Want” by Post Malone x Ozzy Osbourne x Travis Scott “Girls Need Love (Remix)” by Summer Walker x Drake “Reasons” by Anna Of The North x Charlie Skein “Follow God” by Kanye West “Guarding The Gates” by Lauryn Hill “Perfect Crime” by Tinashe “Jerry Sprunger” by Tory Lanez x T-Pain “The Box” by Roddy Ricch

[svtriteia]

SEASON 6 / The Haul Out : Episode #121 : MAD PROPS (and Expensive Props)

Hello Friends, On this weeks episode we pull the prop off of our 1965 Alberg 30 Sailboat. It was a complete loss due to electrolytic corrosion. 

For any of you who are just tuning in to our channel, This boat sat at the dock for 6 years without moving and likely didn't have the bottom done for about a decade. This kind of neglect meant that who knows when the last time a zinc was put on the boat. Once we hauled out the yard foreman Brad looked at the chip in the prop and pulled out his pocket knife and carved a piece of bronze off like it was cheese. He told me to pull it off and take it to Valley Prop in Ventura to find a replacement. He also told me to bring my gear ration information and all of my boat specs so Brian at Valley prop could tell me the correct pitch we would need for our boat. We first checked the salvage shop down the street hoping to put off buying a new prop for a while as this was SOOOOO not in the budget for the haul out. All the used props looked to be in about the same condition so I took Brad's advice and went down to Valley Prop. We got a new prop for $375 which wouldn't be a big deal if we were just buying the prop but with the growing mountain of expenses this haul out was creating it was an added stress to say the least. I learned a ton at Valley prop and I am grateful they let me film the conversation so I could share it with all of you. If you enjoy our channel please "Like" the videos and Subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes. If you find the videos helpful or entertaining and would like to contribute to the refit or Camille's beer fund you can become a Patron at: https://www.patreon.com/sailorjames or if you would prefer to make a one time contribution you can send it via PAYPAL to jamesthesailorman@gmail.com Love, James & Camille Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sailorjames 

Website: http://svtriteia.com 

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/james.the.sailor.man http://www.instagram.com/cum_eels

[what-else-is-there]

So here we are in the future. Another year is in the books and the end of 2019 marks a decade (on and off) of running this music blog. And while others have been spending time ruminating on their favorite music of the 2010s, I've decided to take this time to consider how to take this project into the future and build it into something I can truly be proud of. This means focusing my time on rolling out 2019 and moving forward on 2020 as soon as possible instead of trying to tackle a retrospective of the previous decade. My biggest regret in the past years has been my inability to stay current with the blog, rendering the main purpose of following it (staying up to date with new music) somewhat pointless. So with that said, here's hoping the next decade brings the motivation I need to write about my favorite songs as they drop so we can all enjoy them together. As I've always said, while I enjoy consuming music in full album form, I prefer writing about single songs, so What Else Is There?'s 100 Albums Of 2019 is just a list. However, please stay tuned for write ups and a playlist of my 100 Songs Of 2019 as they roll out over the coming days, and then let's see if we can't tackle 2020 (and beyond) together as it happens. Cheers.

> What Else Is There?'s 100 Albums Of 2019 <

1. Billy Strings - Home

2. Foals - Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost - Part 1

3. Thee Oh Sees - Face Stabber

4. Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated

5. 100 Gecs - 1000 Gecs

6. The New Pornographers - In The Morse Code Of Brake Lights

7. Vampire Weekend - Father Of The Bride

8. Papir - VI

9. Aldous Harding - Designer

10. Charli XCX - Charli

11. Angel Olsen - All Mirrors

12. Amon Tobin - Long Stories

13. Psychedelic Porn Crumpets - And Now For The Whatchamacallit

14. Mark Ronson - Late Night Feelings

15. Caroline Polachek - Pang

16. Holly Herndon - Proto

17. Andrew Bird - My Finest Work Yet

18. Jenny Lewis - On The Line

19. She - Aspire

20. Cate Le Bon - Reward

21. Panda Bear - Buoys

22. James Blake - Assume Form

23. Thom Yorke - Anima

24. Beirut - Gallipoli

25. Steve Gun - The Unseen In Between

26. The Chemical Brothers - No Geography

27. Holychild - The Theatrical Death Of Julie Delicious

28. Aurora - A Different Kind Of Human (Step II)

29. Honeyblood - In Plain Sight

30. Vida Blue - Crossing Lines

31. Moon Duo - Stars Are The Light

32. Anderson .Paak - Ventura

33. Jessica Pratt - Quiet Signs

34. Rose City Band - Rose City Band

35. Alex Lahey - The Best Of Luck Club

36. Guerilla Toss - What Would The Odd Do?

37. The Raconteurs - Help Us Stranger

38. Trey Anastasio - Ghosts Of The Forest

39. Foals - Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost - Part 2

40. King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard - Fishing For Fishes

41. Silversun Pickups - Widow's Weeds

42. Friendly Fires - Inflorescent

43. Mood Robot - We Could Have Loved Our Innocence

44. Anima! - Grow Your Garden

45. Sault - 7

46. Jenny Hval - The Practice Of Love

47. Black Mountain - Destroyer

48. Mac DeMarco - Here Comes The Cowboy

49. White Denim - Side Effects

50. The Claypool Lennon Delirium - South Of Reality

51. The Infamous Stringdusters - Rise Sun

52. The New Mastersounds - Shake It

53. Cherry Glazerr - Stuffed & Ready

54. Holy Ghost! - Work

55. Bayonne - Drastic Measures

56. Lizzo - Cuz I Love You

57. Danny Brown - uknowwhatimsayin¿

58. Sharon Van Etten - Remind Me Tomorrow

59. Wild Belle - Everybody One Of A Kind

60. Pumarosa - Devastation

61. Lettuce - Elevate

62. Bad Religion - Age Of Unreason

63. Griz - Ride Waves

64. K.Flay - Solutions

65. The Highwomen - The Highwomen

66. SebastiAn - Thirst

67. Kero Kero Bonito - Civilisation I

68. Kim Petras - Clarity

69. Bat For Lashes - Lost Girls

70. The Faint - Egowerk

71. Malibu Ken - Malibu Ken

72. Deerhunter - Why Hasn't Everything Already Disappeared?

73. Blood Red Shoes - Get Tragic

74. The Brian Jonestown Massacre - The Brian Jonestown Massacre

75. Stephen Malkmus - Groove Denied

76. Yeasayer - Erotic Reruns

77. Keller Williams - Add

78. Tegan And Sara - Hey, I'm Just Like You

79. Tyler Childers - Country Squire

80. Tyler, The Creator - Igor

81. Kishi Bashi - Omoiyari

82. Avey Tare - Cows On Hourglass Pond

83. Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

84. Durand Jones & The Indications - American Love Call

85. Jay Som - Anak Ko

86. Beck - Hyperspace

87. Tank And The Bangas - Green Balloon

88. Sault - 5

89. Allah-Las - LAHS

90. Kehlani - While We Wait

91. FIDLAR - Almost Free

92. Two Door Cinema Club - False Alarm

93. PUP - Morbid Stuff

94. Diane Coffee - Internet Arms

95. The Black Keys - "Let's Rock"

96. Battles - Juice B Crypts

97. Hot Chip - A Bath Full Of Ecstasy

98. Temples - Hot Motion

99. The Mountain Goats - In League With Dragons

100. (Sandy) Alex G - House Of Sugar

All Things 2019 - RYM All Things 2019 - Spotify

[90smovies]

[goodomensseason2]

Capítulo 3- O Primeiro Convite

Tradução para o português brasileiro (pt-br) da fanfic de Good Omens escrita por @rjeddystone .Por favor, não copie e poste se você pode reblogar. 😘 Esta fic ainda está em andamento, portanto comentários são muito apreciados 😁 e eu vou traduzi-los de volta para a autora, ok?

 Créditos da imagem: https://Lucnix.be

  Aziraphale e Crowley não ouviram os tiros das pistolas nem as sirenes, porque eles estavam no teatro Globe a leste dali, ao lado do Rio Tâmisa, assistindo a uma exibição antecipada de Hamlet, que havia sido modernizada para incluir pistolas e sirenes.

Todo tipo de atores apareceram para celebrar o Bardo naquele mês, mas o anjo e o demônio haviam decidido ir no dia que eles sabiam ser realmente o aniversário dele, por respeito ao velho amigo. O ator principal dessa manhã era alguém cujo nome Crowley já havia esquecido porque ele não era Richard Burbage, mas ele estava indo bem mesmo assim.

Crowley estendeu um lenço para Aziraphale enquanto Hamlet fazia sua despedida:

...Se algum dia em teu peito me abrigaste

Priva-te por um tempo da ventura

E respira cansado mais um pouco neste mundo tão duro,

Para a todos contares minha história.

“Você sempre chora nessa parte,” Crowley murmurou.

“Não posso evitar,” Aziraphale fungou o nariz, e Crowley deu tapinhas em sua mão, consolando-o.

Crowley estivera presente na morte do lendário “Amleto,” que havia sido um amigo de bebedeiras dele. Amleto havia vivido muito além da morte de seu tio. Havia tido bem menos solilóquios na vingança dele e muito mais gritos incoerentes.

Ainda assim, Crowley gostava de pensar que as pessoas falariam em sonetos caso tivessem tempo para prepará-los.

A terra se moveu e o palco estremeceu. Não-Burbage disse, bem na hora “Que barulho marcial se está ouvindo?” Crowley ficou relutantemente impressionado. Então ele notou a câmera de vídeo.

A BBC havia enviado uma câmera para pousar como um abutre em um tripé no meio da plateia. Na pequena tela dobrável, no entanto, havia muitas pessoas no palco comparadas à, por falta de uma palavra melhor, realidade.

O de chifres acenou para Crowley e os atores se assustaram quando coisas invisíveis os beslicaram.

Crowley sentiu um grito crescente se retorcer em sua garganta. Ele cerrou os dentes com firmeza e sorriu. Então passou outro lenço a Aziraphale.

Era uma dupla apresentação hoje. No saguão durante o intervalo, os demônios seguiram Crowley de tela em tela, pulando de um documentário histórico para um telejornal e então para um comercial de antiácidos. Alguns murmuravam palavras ameaçadoras.

Todos os televisores estavam, naquele momento, no mudo.

Crowley chamou a atenção de Aziraphale, erguendo de leve a cabeça. O anjo tomou nota e suas sobrancelhas se arregalaram quase um centímetro.

Eles caminharam até a plateia para tomar um ar.

“Vou pegar uns petiscos para nós,” Aziraphale sugeriu, “se você quiser atender o chamado lá fora.”

“Não quero,” Crowley admitiu, “mas estou curioso. Vou morder a isca.” Isso era um tipo de promessa, pois ele morderia mesmo alguém se necessário. Crowley saiu em direção ao Bentley e Aziraphale andou devagar até o quiosque, mantendo-o em vista.

Um guarda examinava as linhas do estacionamento ao redor do Bentley e, apesar de não saber como elas haviam se movido, já alcançava seu bloco de multas. Crowley lhe deu um tapinha no ombro e ele saiu de perto, repentinamente pensando ter deixado cair sua caneta. Crowley deslizou pra dentro do banco do motorista do Bentley e ajustou o rádio, que cuspiu estática. Ele suspirou, aliviado.

O Bentley havia sobrevivido sessenta anos sem um arranhão permanente, mas a maior das suas proezas foram ― consecutivamente—dirigir por uma muralha de fogo na M25 três anos antes, explodindo numa bola de fogo, e se erguer da destruição; este último feito graças ao garoto que Crowley e Aziraphale gostavam de considerar por aqueles dias como sendo seu novo afilhado. [Nota da Autora: Leitores de longa data podem estar pensando no outro afilhado deles. Não se preocupem, ele está indo muito bem nos Estados Unidos]. De alguma forma, a apoteose do Bentley o havia tornado inacessível para estações FM; O que era ótimo para Crowley, que odiava quando o Inferno interrompia o que de outra forma seriam excelentes reproduções das Quatro Estações de Vivaldi (letra de Brian May).

Ele permaneceu no assento por um momento, deixando seus nervos se resolverem em um lugar onde eles não poderiam alcançá-lo. Então, trancando as portas, ele atravessou até a guarita do porteiro e assistiu a estática por trás da tela preta e branca para esperar e fingir que eles realmente não poderiam pegá-lo.

O homem idoso assistindo as imagens não ouviu quando uma delas falou em uma voz baixa e perigosa.

“CROWLEY…”

“Maldição,” Crowley disse de imediato. O espectador também não o ouviu. “É do Conselho das Trevas mesmo? Não tive notícia de vocês por eras, como tá o povo aí?”

Houve um lamento que estourou em estática e malícia. “ESTA NÃO É UMA CHAMADA PESSOAL, CROWLEY: ELE QUER A SUA PRESENÇA.”

Crowley paralisou. Ninguém o observava, mas sua face havia se esvaziado de qualquer forma. Foi um gesto defensivo, forjada no submundo onde um olhar de reprovação na hora errada, especialmente nojo, significava punição corporal de natureza desencorporante. Ele não pensava em si mesmo como valente. Ele não era. Não mais. Valentia te levava a ser condenado, atormentado e morto. Esperteza sim―isso te mantinha vivo.

Crowley conteve um sibilo malicioso dentro de sua garganta e o despedaçou em seus dentes: “Eu disse a vocês para nos deixarem em paz.”

“ISTO NOS ABORRECE MUITO MAIS DO QUE A VOCÊ.”

“Por quê? Ele disse a você pra me pedir por favor?”

“ELE QUER SE RECONCILIAR COM VOCÊ.”

“Diga a ele para se resolver com uma Autoridade Superior,” disse Crowley. Pronto, ele pensou. Você não fala que tem amigos no poder. Você só dá a entender isso. Como um grande ponto de interrogação. “Se ele não quiser, então manda ele se catar,” Crowley disse. Ele ergueu a mão e estalou os dedos. Todos os televisores e rádios em até cem metros desligaram.

Ele manteve a mão erguida no ar. Tremia. Tentou não pensar muito nisso.

“O que são aquelas coisas vermelhas mesmo?” ele murmurou.

O homem idoso o percebeu e respondeu, “Se precisar de um táxi, eu posso chamar um procê.”

Antes que Crowley pudesse responder, Aziraphale chegou com os lanches numa sacolinha pra viagem, parecendo arrependido de uma ponta a outra de seu sorriso. Ele pegou a mão de Crowley e segredou a ele.

“Eu tenho um pressentimento,” ele disse. “Vamos para a galeria antes do horário de pico. Eu odiaria perder isso.”

“Vamos acabar pegando uma fila na abertura,” disse Crowley despreocupadamente.

Aziraphale inclinou a cabeça para o lado e pareceu ouvir alguma coisa. "Acho que não haverá uma fila", disse ele, astutamente.

Isso trouxe de volta o sorriso de Crowley.

Aziraphale apenas atrasou os trens entre Earl’s Court e a Cannon Station. O Bentley poderia facilmente chegar ao National Gallery em vinte minutos ou menos.

E, só para ficar claro, o que Aziraphale havia acabado de fazer era um milagre.

***

Existem muitas definições para a palavra “milagre”. Se alguém se cura de um câncer, é comum, é comum para os membros da família exclamarem, “É um milagre!” E é uma atitude comum para qualquer dos médicos, cirurgiões e radiologistas à cabeceira do paciente reclamarem dessa completa ingratidão fora do alcance dos ouvidos deles.

Algumas pessoas dizem que a risada de uma criança ou o alegre abanar de rabo de um cachorro são milagres. Não são. Eles são privilégios. Em lugares onde crianças não riem e cães não abanam os rabos, não é por essas coisas que as pessoas rezam pedindo.

Agora, que o metrô entre o St. James e as estações da Cannon Street teve suas operações em todas as linhas interrompidas bem na hora em que um túnel principal desabou sob a influência de dois demônios com uma caixa mágica, isso sim, foi definitivamente um milagre.

Mas a palavra “milagre” é usada livremente quase tanto quanto a palavra “caos”. Ela pode significar qualquer coisa desde o ato de um principado celestial até o bater de asas de uma borboleta.

Esse milagre levou Beelzebub e Dagon para o National Gallery.

***

Adam Young estava tentando parecer instruído. Ele era bom nisso, bom em parecer todo tipo de coisas. E em soar instruído também. Ele estava roubando a cena da professora de sua turma do oitavo ano.

“Eu realmente não entendo por que todo mundo pergunta o porquê de ela estar sorrindo.” Ele falou da conhecida mulher da pintura. Havia uma fileira de barras de limitação entre o quadro e eles. Ela tinha seus próprios seguranças vindos direto, ao que parecia, da França. Adam disse, “Ela está tendo seu próprio retrato pintado. Qualquer um assim seria meio convencido.”

Seu colega, Brian, ergueu sua mão antes que a professora pudesse comentar. “A não ser que fossem criminosos em fuga,” ele disse rapidamente.

“Bem, é claro que não seriam,” Adam retrucou. “Eles não ficariam sentados para uma pintura se estivessem fugindo. Seria mais como aquela com o Baco na outra sala.”

“Como você acha que eles fazem os retratos das batalhas?” perguntou Brian, de novo interrompendo a tentativa da professora de continuar a palestra.

“Eu acho que eles deviam tomar notas, daí posavam depois,” disse Adam.

“Desculpe, mas isso é ridículo,” disse outra voz. Seu tom era tardio demais para ser novidade, estava mais para algo dito há quase quarenta e cinco anos antes. “Como as pessoas que morreram na batalha poderiam posar para as pinturas? Eu imagino que ficaria fedorento pra caramba.”

“É claro que eles poderiam arranjar substitutos,” disse Adam. “Dublês. Como nos filmes."

“Eu gosto de atores que fazem suas próprias façanhas,” Brian observou ligeiro. “Mas deve haver profissionais, não?”

“Com certeza,” disse Adam. “Recriadores profissionais de pintura. Devem existir uns desses.”

Inconscientemente, Adam sabia que, a esse ponto, ele poderia ter dito qualquer coisa que seus colegas acreditariam nele. E era a inconsciência disso que o mantinha simpático. Ele estava mais interessado em seguir em frente, então deixou o assunto de lado sentindo que ele e Brian haviam tido o suficiente de história artística por esse dia.

Brian sorriu. Eles teriam que falar sobre aquilo mais tarde: dublês de ação para pinturas. Adam concordou. Conversariam mais depois. Adam vagou desimpedido até a segunda aula, onde uma garota de trancinhas considerava uma réplica da Vaidade de um "Escultor desconhecido". Os sorrisos da garota eram, para Adam, muito mais misteriosos que os da Mona Lisa.

"Não vejo o que a torna vaidosa", disse Adam. "Ela está apenas olhando o rosto no espelho, enquanto a esculpem nua."

"Clássica projeção masculina", disse a garota seriamente. O nome dela era Pippin Galadriel Moonchild Parker, mas isso era apenas para a papelada. Quem não quisesse um olho roxo a chamaria de Pepper. "Ela provavelmente está usando o espelho pra ficar de olho nele."

"Isso é inteligente."

Adam tinha catorze anos e não se sentia à vontade olhando demais para os nus, então olhou para Pepper. Ele queria dizer algo inteligente, geralmente poderia. Ultimamente era mais difícil perto dela, por razões que ele não conseguia explicar. Tinha algo a ver com a maneira como não conseguia ler os pensamentos dela, como os de Brian.

Uma ideia prática surgiu: "Qualquer pessoa com pele da cor de alabastro faria melhor vestindo algumas roupas contra queimaduras solares do que parada com vasos e rosas, especialmente rosas".

"Ah, isso é tudo simbolismo.Úteros e coisas assim.”

"Coisas assim?" Adam entrou em pânico um pouco. Ele desviou o olhar e tentou encontrar algo interessante e vestido sobre o qual conversar.

Foi quando ele viu seus padrinhos.

***

A maioria dos demônios não se lembra de terem sido anjos. Isto é devido a duas coisas.

Primeiro, a maioria não tenta. Eles gostam das coisas como são. Muitos se consideram os cobradores de impostos do mundo sobrenatural: é um trabalho ingrato, mas alguém precisa fazê-lo.

E eles ainda podem fazer milagres, embora não o que os humanos possam chamar de milagres, e eles não respondem a limites ou cotas como os anjos. Não há muito mais para se arrepender do que a danação e sendo essa parte não-negociável, por que se preocupar?

Segundo, a maioria dos demônios acordada permanece distraída por um estado perpétuo de terror. Esse terror é causado e mantido por seu líder, o Governante das Trevas, Senhor do Submundo, o próprio Acusador. É uma coisa inconsciente, como sapos sendo cozidos: a maioria dos demônios nem percebe o quão aterrorizados estão pela constância da ameaça. Se o medo desaparecesse, eles tomariam seus próprios pulsos, imaginando se, de alguma forma, contra todas e enormes probabilidades, teriam morrido.

Não é o medo da morte. (Somente a água benta pode destruir completamente um demônio.) É o medo de quão duradoura e severa a dor pode ser quando você não pode morrer. O diabo pesquisa. Ele tem legiões inteiras encarregadas disso.

Assim, os demônios vivem com medo do Céu, com medo de seu mestre e com medo um do outro. Afinal, não é paranoia se eles realmente estão todos dispostos a te pegar. Desnecessário dizer, alianças são raras.

Crowley realmente se lembrava de ter sido um anjo. O diabo, por razões incertas, nunca o deixara esquecer.

Mas ele passava a maior parte de seu tempo como demônio fingindo ser um humano. Ele sempre fora fascinado por humanos, desde que o primeiro Adão havia pego a maçã de Eva, percebido o que ela tinha feito, e decidido morder a fruta também. Crowley os tinha observado criarem álibis, e depois partirem por conta própria. Essas criaturas imperfeitas oscilavam como pêndulos entre o bem e o mal. Do mesmo modo, Crowley, oscilava entre repulsa e admiração sem palavras.

Mas ele havia gostado da Renascença, da parte em que ele estivera acordado, pelo menos.

“Tem uma boa semelhança, eu acho,” ele disse, erguendo suas sobrancelhas e esperando que Aziraphale percebesse.

Eles estavam parados em frente a uma pequena peça emoldurada, um esboço em papel velho e simples, mas claro em seus detalhes. O anjo se inclinou para ver melhor e, ao vê-lo, também ergueu as sobrancelhas. (As dele ainda não haviam abaixado.)

Ainda assim, ele não disse nada, então Crowley finalmente se inclinou e, com uma pontada de impaciência, disse: "Ele errou os olhos".

“Céus, no que foi isso mesmo que você concordou?” Aziraphale perguntou calmamente.

“Bem, eu sabia que ele estava trabalhando na Mona Lisa. Eu precisava de impulsionamento. Você sabe que esse esboço é muito melhor que o original.”

"Sim, mas", disse Aziraphale, sua boca se contorcendo dentro e fora de um sorriso, "nu?"

"Todas as melhores obras de arte mostram pessoas nuas, anjo", Crowley murmurou de volta.

“Guernica?”

"Pessoas realistas ..."

"Nenúfares?"

"Pessoas…”

"A última Ceia."

"Você não pode chamar isso de uma representação precisa de um Sêder, você sabe.” [Nota da Tradutora: Sêder é um jantar cerimonial judaico em que se recorda a história do Êxodo e a libertação do povo de Israel."]

"É a sensação da coisa." disse, mas seu amigo continuava sorrindo.

Se afastaram para dar lugar a uma guia turística e deixaram que ela explicasse as origens do problema da "quadratura do círculo": "O uso do círculo e quadrado para O Homem Vitruviano alude à expressão que significa tentar fazer o impossível …"

Crowley, que não de deixar um assunto morrer assim, inclinou-se e sussurrou para Aziraphale. "Enfim, estava um dia quente, e ele me levou de volta ao seu apartamento para conversar sobre Vitrúvio, tomando um copo de vinho, e ele teve essa ideia..."

Aziraphale sussurrou de volta: "Isso terminou com você nu?"

Crowley não era de corar, mas seu cabelo vermelho escuro ficou ainda mais ruivo. Disse casualmente: "É isso que eu quero dizer. É uma regra. "

"Sabe, eu tive algumas aulas de pintura quando era membro daquele adorável clube de cavalheiros."

"O discreto?" Os cabelos de Crowley ficaram ainda mais vermelhos.

"Rapazes adoráveis, todos eles."

Uma voz jovem acompanhou a mão acenando na multidão.

“Então ele fez mesmo isso? A quadratura do círculo?”

Crowley e Aziraphale interromperam seus sussurros e avistaram a mão e o garoto preso a ela.

"Não", disse a guia, "isso não era possível com álgebra geométrica".

Adam Young estava entre o público, encarando a gravura, ou melhor, as linhas e dimensões em volta dela, sua imaginação processando as coisas e, onde falhava, preenchendo as lacunas com ideias.

O grupo de turismo seguiu em frente, mas Adam se virou no último minuto. Ele sorriu para Aziraphale e Crowley. Agora, podiam ver claramente o quanto ele havia crescido em três anos. Ele tinha aquele jeito desengonçado que aflige a maioria dos jovens em crescimento, antes que as demais partes do corpo finalmente alcancem o resto. Ainda assim, ele era menos desajeitado do que a maioria. Ele sempre fora o tipo de pessoa que os outros seguiam sem pensar muito a respeito. Havia puxado isso do pai dele, Crowley concluiu.

“Sabia que eram vocês,” Adam disse, parando apenas para um abraço. Enfiou as mãos nos bolsos, relaxado.

"Você está ficando alto." Crowley despenteava seus cabelos loiros.

"Adam, meu garoto, faz muito tempo desde Tadfield", disse Aziraphale, e deu um tapinha nas costas dele. "Como está tudo? Seus pais estão bem?

"Eles estão bem, e vocês?"

"Estamos apreciando a arte", disse Crowley, também colocando as mãos nos bolsos. Ele nunca mentia se isso pudesse levar a um mal entendido. "É o aniversário de Da Vinci."

"E de Shakespeare", acrescentou Aziraphale, radiante, "mas você só tem a nossa palavra quanto a isso".

"Legal", Adam ofegou, se exibindo. "Estou apreciando a arte também, ou pelo menos tentando. Eu tenho tantas perguntas. Vocês têm sorte de terem conhecido todos os grandes artistas. ”

"Melhor manter isso em segredo", disse Crowley enquanto Aziraphale fazia menção para se calarem. "Não deveríamos estar aqui."

“Sinistro.” disse Adam, abaixando o tom de voz em resposta. “Vocês entraram escondidos? Invadiram antes do amanhecer? Pararam o tempo igual você tinha feito lá quando…”

“A gente pagou. Nós gostamos de arte. Queremos ver isso tudo se mantendo,” disse Crowley. “Mas você sabe, nós não estamos em bons termos com, bem…”

Adam apontou para cima e Aziraphale concordou. Adam apontou para baixo e foi a vez de Crowley menear a cabeça. Adam parecia solidário com eles, o que era um pouco demais para Crowley aguentar.

“Tanto faz, já estamos de saída,” disse Crowley. “Vamos dar uma passada na loja de lembrancinhas pra comprar um cartão postal.”

“Posso ir também?” Adam olhou para trás, para a bolha amorfa de estudantes do segundo ano e sorriu. “Quero dizer, se eu ainda estiver aqui quando eles acabarem. Não vejo por que alguém daria pela minha falta nesse meio tempo.”

“Tem razão,” disse Crowley.

“Não o encoraje,” Aziraphale o repreendeu.

“E pra que serve um padrinho senão para estragar seu afilhado?”

“Para ser um exemplo de virtude.”

“O que sobra pra mim, então?”

Adam riu. “Eu me esqueci de como vocês dois são. Ei, vocês deviam aparecer lá em Tadfield alguma hora.”

"Isso seria maravilhoso", disse Aziraphale. "Mas, por enquanto, é importante que um jovem da sua idade faça amigos fora da escola".

Adam olhou através da sala para uma garota. Crowley percebeu que era a garota conhecida como "Pepper" pela maioria. [Nota da autora: Na mente de Crowley, ela era admiravelmente conhecida como "a garota que apunhalou a Guerra-encarnada na cara".]

Adam balançou a cabeça, concordando vagamente. Ele abraçou Aziraphale de repente e depois Crowley, com um rápido pedido de desculpas: “Boa ideia. Vocês dois, não arrumem confusão. ”

Ele foi atrás de Pepper.

O sorriso de Aziraphale ficou menor, mas mais enternecido. "Eu com certeza não.", disse ele.

Crowley ajeitou a camisa amarrotada e as mangas antes de verificar seus óculos escuros.

"Ele está crescendo como um bambu."

"Não exatamente", observou Aziraphale, ainda sorrindo atrás dele. "Mas tudo bem, não é?"

"Claro que sim", disse Crowley. “Venha anjo. Ouvi dizer que o Kemp tem um novo livro chamado 'Vivendo com Leonardo'. Talvez eu o tenha ajudado como escritor-fantasma. ”

"Bem, agora estou certamente intrigado."

***

Dagon liderou o caminho. Não que dois demônios tivessem que pensar muito sobre aonde estavam indo. Geralmente, os demônios farejam a inclinação para o mal a um quarteirão de distância e apenas vão atrás dela. Com o metrô de Londres é a mesma coisa. Todo aquele mal de baixa qualidade que escapa das almas atrasando, demorando ou apenas ficando loucas.

Mas quando o metrô chegou, algo estava errado.

“Você sabe que ele estava certo sobre uma coisa”, disse Dagon enquanto Beelzebub olhava as letras rolando: “ATRASADO” brilhava em todos os quadros. "Os humanos se atrapalham na maioria dos dias."

E assim, incapaz de derrubar o túnel sobre qualquer coisa que valesse a pena esmagar sob o concreto, Beelzebub apontou um pôster para o Museu Nacional.

***

Três demônios entram em uma loja de presentes.

Este não é o começo de uma piada.

O último dos três usa a porta interna, sem a campainha. Com ele caminha um anjo. Eles folheiam livros interessantes (apenas capa dura; Aziraphale é muito exigente). Esse demônio, que não lê mais do que esporadicamente, vira algumas páginas e sorri com carinho por uma lembrança.

Os outros dois vieram pela entrada externa. O primeiro ajeitou um chapéu adorável. As moscas começaram a zumbir nos ouvidos das pessoas: tudo bem passar da hora do almoço, disse. Basta culpar o tráfego.

O outro demônio correu uma garra ao longo dos códigos de barras de vários cartões postais em uma prateleira. Levaria semanas para o inventário ser classificado novamente. Os dois procuraram ao redor mais coisas malignas para fazer, essas tentações menores que exigiam pouco mais do que um encolher de ombros, tudo apenas um dia de trabalho para demônios, uma pausa para o almoço na verdade, e eles ainda queriam causar problemas.

Eles passaram pelo caixa, com a intenção de um desastre arquitetônico em potencial no Pórtico da Galeria Nacional.Muito intencionados de fato, para perceber os outros dois vindo na mesma direção, carregando uma sacola com vários livros e uma caixa envolta em papel branco e cheia de doces nas mãos.

Um incidente cômico de coincidência.

Mas isso não é uma piada.

Considere o caos.

Considere como um sistema fechado é o menos caótico de todos os sistemas. Considere também como isso nunca pode existir na experiência humana. Tanto humanos quanto demiurgos lutam por um mundo previsível, mas nunca terão todas as cartas nas mãos e nem nada para apostar que o crupiê ainda não possui. Seus melhores planos são arruinados. A Toda-Poderosa se recosta no quarto escuro dela, embaralha suas cartas em branco, sem dizer nada. E sorri.

“Minha nossa!”, Diz o anjo, cuja fala ressoa longe. Crowley pega a caixa, a bolsa e depois o anjo, e olha fixamente para os demônios, que os encaram com expressões lívidas. A loja de presentes pode estar prestes a pegar fogo, mas só Deus sabe quem acenderá a centelha.

Aziraphale é um anjo. Anjos têm uma hierarquia e Aziraphale é um principado, um guardião de territórios. Ele cuida de Londres, Soho, há 100 anos antes de este ser conhecido como tal. Por sua própria vontade, essa jurisdição se estendeu a grande parte de Londres desde o Armagedom. Não estar do lado da burocracia do Céu não mudou quem ele era. E quando uma pessoa é quem realmente é, aterroriza aqueles que não têm certeza de si mesmos, como certo Bardo escrevera séculos atrás.

Houve um zum-zum-zum quando as moscas voltaram correndo para se abrigar no chapéu. Os olhos de Beelzebub estavam arregalados como bolas de golfe.

"Você", eles sibilaram. Dagon remexeu no pacote.

Asas de anjo são emplumadas. Elas podem ser macias como penugem. Elas também podem ser duras como lâminas de diamante. As asas arqueadas de Aziraphale fizeram um som parecido com o de aço raspando sobre uma pedra de amolar. Os humanos na loja não notaram, indiferentes como pintinhos bicando alegremente sob os cuidados de uma galinha protetora.

"Eu não vou perguntar o que vocês estão fazendo aqui", disse Aziraphale, friamente, "porque vocês estão indo embora".

"Deveria saber que era você, arruinando..." Dagon parou quando sentiu o cotovelo de Beelzebub cravando-se bruscamente em suas costelas.

"Faça do seu jeito", eles disseram. "Mas vocês vão se arrepender em breve."

Eles se voltaram para a saída, mas Crowley estava lá, balançando os pacotes languidamente em uma das mãos. Ele sorriu um sorriso perigoso que também era encantador.

"O que faz vocês terem a coragem de dizer isso?", ele perguntou.

"O Conselho das Trevas não ligou para você, Crowley?", perguntou Beelzebub.

"Resolvi deixar o convite para outra hora, Sua Desgraça."

"Suponho que não importa", disse Dagon, erguendo o queixo e cruzando os braços. "Mas acho que vocês deveriam saber que o inferno está prestes a virar a página."

"Seu pessoal deplorável que não se atreva a encostar um dedo nesses livros! Não sabia que fossem desprezíveis ao ponto de acrescentar destruição literária a sua lista de maldades.", disse Aziraphale.

O Senhor das Moscas revirou os olhos. "O inferno e o céu estão se dando bem agora."

“Ah, é?” Perguntou Crowley, sem saber mais o que dizer. Uma olhada em Aziraphale provou que seu amigo também não gostara da notícia. “Todos os exércitos do Céu e do Inferno contra nós. Que honra."

"Não contra vocês", Beelzebub zombou. "Podem se juntar a nós, se quiserem."

"Podemos ser generosos o suficiente para lhes dar uma ou duas legiões", acrescentou Dagon, satisfeito com esse breve pensamento: "para a guerra que se aproxima".

"Contra quem?", Perguntou Crowley.

"Eles", disse Beelzebub. "Todos eles." Eles sorriram, mas ainda olhavam cautelosamente para Aziraphale. Seria necessário dois dos três arcanjos em posição de vantagem para obter o nível de ira divina que um principado poderia provocar só com o pensamento. Mas eles prosseguiram: "Será preciso apenas um pouco de imaginação".

“E onde vocês vão conseguir isso?” perguntou Crowley, franzindo a testa enquanto pensava em Adam.

"Deixe-os irem para onde quer que queiram", disse Aziraphale. "Quaisquer que sejam seus planos, não queremos nada com eles e é melhor vocês não voltarem aqui."

“Fala como alguém sem nada a perder.” Beelzebub puxou o braço escamoso do Senhor dos Arquivos, mas olhou para Crowley quando eles passaram: “Você o ensinou isso, Crawly?”

A campainha tocou acima da porta e eles se foram.

Aziraphale recolheu suas asas graciosamente. "Bárbaros", ele murmurou, ajeitando a gravata. "Como estão os bolinhos?"

Crowley sacudiu o pacote embrulhado, sem ouvir nenhum barulho discernível de bolinhos esfarelados. "Parece tudo bem", disse ele. "O que você acha que ele quis dizer com essa coisa de imaginação?"

"Provavelmente apenas um blefe", disse Aziraphale. Com um aceno, ele reparou os códigos de barras quebrados. Então se mexeu, parecendo ouvir alguma coisa.

Crowley cutucou alguns trabalhadores preguiçosos perto dali com a lembrança de que, se eles voltassem atrasados do almoço novamente, poderiam perder dias de férias. (Preguiça para vencer preguiça, sempre funcionava.) Ele notou a expressão de Aziraphale e perguntou: "Estação AM de novo?"

"Não, é só ..." Aziraphale franziu a testa. “Uma sensação estranha. Acho que ninguém do meu pessoal apareceu por aqui, mas ... "

"Algo milagroso?"

"Não sei dizer", admitiu Aziraphale. “Acho que meus nervos estão esgotados. O que você me diz de uma bebida?”

Crowley franziu o cenho. Ele também sentira algo estranho. Não conseguia identificar e não era particularmente desagradável.

"Eu tenho que cuidar das plantas", disse ele, "mas você está certo, é algo tipo uma distração, tipo um ... herring".

"Como é?"

"Red herrings, peixes vermelhos, distrativos." [ Nota da Tradutora: Crowley está falando de uma “red herring” que seria, no sentido literal “um arenque vermelho”, um tipo de peixe, mas aqui é uma expressão do inglês muito comum em mistérios e que significa “pista falsa”.].

"Eu não acho que cheira a peixe." Aziraphale encolheu os ombros. “Sinto muito pelas suas plantas. Eu tenho uma caixa de Pinot Noir Patricia Trentino, do Jardim.

Isso despertou o interesse de Crowley. “Talvez uma bebida. Brindar velhos amigos.”

"Para brindar velhos amigos", concordou Aziraphale. "E novos."

Eles foram para o Bentley e, finalmente, para a livraria. A sacola de livros e o pacote bem embrulhado deslizaram para frente e para trás no banco traseiro do Bentley enquanto o carro seguia pela A40.

Atrás deles, perdidos no borrão que 160 quilômetros por hora deixa para trás, a vitrine de uma loja de flores florescia espontaneamente à medida que cada rosa brotava. Mais abaixo, uma cesta de pão de padaria transbordou para a rua.

E perto e mais longe, do outro lado da realidade, um pouco de caos latente se desenrolava, abalando os alicerces de tudo.

~~~~~~~

Capítulo Original (em inglês)

Outros Capítulos traduzidos:

Capítulo 1

Capítulo 2

[theagileadmin]

I know we’ve been quiet on the blog, all four agile admins have been busy – several of us moved to new jobs, everyone has a lot going on.

But we’re still doing stuff!  I just went out to Carpenteria to film a LinkedIn Learning course on Incident Management.  The agile admins have a full DevOps curriculum on LinkedIn Learning (which was lynda.com); most of them are in the “Become a DevOps Engineer” learning path!  You can view them as a LIL member or they can be bought individually nowadays too.

We’ve done the 101 level (DevOps Foundation), the 201 level (CI/CD, CM/Infrastructure as Code, SRE, Monitoring and Observability, Lean and Agile) and now we’re hitting more details – Karthik’s done a bunch of Kubernetes and Cloud Native courses, Peco is doing more monitoring courses, James is doing DevSecOps courses…

And I just went and filmed an Incident Management course.  Incident Response, really, I’m hoping for a subsequent course that focuses on retrospectives (each class is only like an hour long and retros are a huge fun topic so I wanted to give them enough time on their own).

Pictured are my producers Adam and Lori and my live action director Julia (who’s also done some of my other courses!) This was a slides course (my first), but they have a program where they can add in a little live action, and since I’ve done it a bunch and Julia’s great we burned through a bunch of scripts in a short time on camera! Thanks to all of them (and my content manager Brian Anderson, not pictured).

The Course

I’ve been creating IM processes and training and leading organizations in them for a while now. A good incident response program removes friction and lets your smart technical staff focus on one thing, solving the problem, without having to worry about what to do otherwise. When I left AlienVault, the #1 thing people came and said to me in my 2 week notice period was “Hey, that incident management process, that’s really made a huge difference,” which is great to hear.

And it was a good opportunity to refresh on the newer developments in the field.  I first got into modern IM, which I defines as “derived from the Incident Command System”, in 2008 after I heard Brent Chapman speak at Velocity on Incident Command for IT: What We Can Learn from the Fire Department.  But (aside from retros) while that concept spread, for 5-6 years there wasn’t really a lot more in terms of new developments. Luckily that’s changed, and there’s been a lot lately. John Allspaw and J. Paul Reed have both done masters’ theses with Lund University’s Division of Risk Management and Societal Safety; there’s a new O’Reilly book Incident Management for Operations as well as IM being a hot topic in the Google SRE books, and so on. The REdeploy conference and Thai Wood’s Resilience Roundup weekly email newsletter and the Oncall Nightmares podcast re full of late breaking developments. (These sources and more are listed in the course handout!)

Special thanks to J. Paul for giving me guidance on the course content and giving me permission to use his and Kevina Finn-Braun’s Incident Lifecycle Model in it.

Expect video topics like:

Why Do I Need Incident Management?

The Incident Command System

Scoping the Problem

Your Incident Toolchain

Incident Toolchain Example

Detecting and Reporting Incidents

First Response and Escalation

Incident Communication With Your Users

Communicating Inside Your Organization

Best Practices for Diagnosis and Repair

Cleaning Up After

Continuously Improving

Training and Game Days

Implementation Challenges

Oh, and I got to use props for the first time (like that fire extinguisher in the lead pic), we threw some in for kicks. Fun!

The Experience

Speaking of that, I just wanted to give the LinkedIn Learning team a shout-out.  Making courses with them is a great experience, class all the way.  They are all super skilled at what they do and super friendly. Going to their campus/studio in Carpenteria, CA is always an exceedingly pleasant experience. Everything’s top notch, sound booths, live action studios… It’s not the average webcam tech course when you’re looking down the barrel of a camera with a director, a producer, and a sound/teleprompter person fussing over the fine details! If you are an expert in something (not just tech) and are interested in doing courses, I’m happy to introduce you to someone there; it’s all top quality.

And they treat their people well there!  As best as I can tell they always have, from when they were Lynda to when they were LinkedIn to now being owned by Microsoft. Lori confided in me, “I was a documentary filmmaker with a non-profit for years and I didn’t know jobs like this existed; I’ve never been treated so well.”

While I was there they were doing their monthly “InDay”, and apparently this is the most anticipated one of a year as it’s game themed. They had inflatable human foozball, arcade games, did up the cafeteria with a Stranger Things theme, even had a D&D training session.

  And of course Carpinteria is beautiful, right on the beach, extremely temperate. It’s between Ventura and Santa Barbara, just north of LA. If you go out there, my hot tips are the nearby Shoals restaurant (a little down the 101) where you can get a table right on the water, and Chocolats du CaliBressan, a French chocolatier down in the far north end the beach side of Carpinteria. Oh and the booze is super cheap in the supermarket, so we always make some gin and juice and hang out in the Holiday Inn’s hot tub while we’re there…

  Incident Management Course Coming! I know we've been quiet on the blog, all four agile admins have been busy - several of us moved to new jobs, everyone has a lot going on.