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lizzygrantarchives · 13 years ago

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T: The New York Times Style Magazine, February 9, 2012

For some reason, Lana Del Rey and her sultry songs drive some people nuts.

CURVACEOUS AND PRETTY IN A DRESS, she brims with catchy songs, all a bit retro, ironic and modern. Without straying too far off the pop grid, she’s the perfect antidote to Rihanna-Gaga overload — dare we say, a skinnier Adele, a more stable Amy Winehouse? Since posting “Video Games” to YouTube last summer, she’s amassed tens of millions of hits, sold out concerts to fashion’s who’s who and now, finally, has released her long-awaited album, which is currently No. 2 on the Billboard Top 200 in America, and No. 1 in Britain, Germany, Ireland, Switzerland and Austria. If you were going to manufacture a star for this moment, you’d manufacture her. Some people believe that’s precisely what happened.

Sitting in her producer’s Chelsea studio in jeans and an oversize sweater, smoking Pall Mall Blues that share space — in a beat-up snakeskin bag — with an old Tennessee Williams paperback, Lana Del Rey tries to shrug off the suggestion that her father bought her success, that her face went under the knife, that she is some sort of industry creation, all accusations floating around the Internet. It’s absurd or maybe flattering, but despite her laugh and smile, it hurts.

“I mean, I met everyone who is anyone in the music industry over the last six years and I was unsignable,” she says. “That’s what I was told by everyone. I would play my songs, explain what I was trying to do, and I’d get, ‘You know who’s No. 1 in 13 countries right now? Kesha.’ ”

There’s a formula for a pop song and a prescribed length for radio. Nothing Del Rey’s written obeys either. “ ‘Video Games’ was a four-and-a-half-minute ballad,” she says. “No instruments on it. It was too dark, too personal, too risky, not commercial. It wasn’t pop until it was on the radio.” And even “Born to Die” — her first big video — was, with its double chorus that never lifts, described to her as “another monotonous depressing song.”

For an hour, Del Rey and her producer Emile Haynie play songs from the album. She points out jazzy idiosyncrasies, quirky lyrics and favorite melodies. Sometimes she sings; often she gets up and dances. The last song they put on is “National Anthem”:

Red, white, blue’s in the skies Summer’s in the air and Baby, heaven’s in your eyes I’m your national anthem … I sing the national anthem, While I’m standing, Over your body … Money is the anthem God you’re so handsome

It may not be her most lyrically complex song, but it feels emblematic. As she did in the “Born to Die” video (in which she wraps her body in an American flag), she equates her sexuality to the national anthem. And she knowingly conflates love with material success. It feels like a wink at the listener. The Twitter generation loves a wink.

There’s also more than a little of Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA” in the song. Both you could play alone dancing in your bedroom, sing along to in your convertible with the top down or (it might surprise Cyrus’s Disney producers) find yourself gyrating to at an illegal warehouse rave. Whereas Cyrus’s song is a bland pop confection that somehow wound up cool, Del Rey’s track comes from someplace dark thematically and unstructured musically and ends up with pop appeal.

I explain my theory to Del Rey, in a roundabout way, and she nods, sings a bit of “Party in the USA” and ponders the matter for a few moments. “I really like that chorus,” she says. “I love an interesting melody.”

Haynie is more direct. “That’s the beauty of it,” he says. “That’s kind of the magic. She is supercool. The songs are as cool as it gets, sonically and aesthetically. But it’s like, ‘Wait a minute, this could resonate with the world.’ She started underground, small and kind of tight-knit, but some of these recordings are like, ‘Wow.’ I mean, that’s what I heard when I listened. It’s cool and it’s dark, but I thought, This could be big, you know?”

***

We head to a 10th Avenue Italian restaurant that her publicist has chosen. It feels tacky. “Do you want to just get a coffee across the street, and sit on a stoop? It’s not too cold?” she asks. I agree, though it is in fact too cold.

At the pizza place she orders a large coffee with no sugar, lots of milk. The server spots the old Tennessee Williams paperback in her purse, which sparks a conversation about 1950s movies and Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra.

Then he asks, “Are you two a couple?” and looks at me and says: “Today is your lucky day. I wish I was lucky like you.”

The presumption doesn’t stop him from flirting with Del Rey. “Big cup for you,” he says, handing her her coffee. “Just a little kiss for me.”

Del Rey laughs and hits him right back with: “Sure. Just a little kiss. Where do you want it?”

There was no kiss, but the subject of Del Rey’s mouth is an irresistible one. So, sitting on the steps of a 25th Street brownstone, I ask the seemingly preposterous question. “It’s fine,” she assures me. “They’re real lips, I mean. In real life my lips don’t look that big. I think because I cartoonized the footage of myself in the video for ‘Video Games’ things look exaggerated.”

If that video is to blame for a pernicious rumor, it is also to blame for putting her on the map. What it didn’t do was get her a record deal. Not until Fearne Cotton, a BBC D.J., stumbled across it and played it on Radio 1 last June. Suddenly the world was calling.

“I was struck by the wonderful combination of spine-tingling video footage, her haunting voice and the simplicity of the song,” Cotton wrote in an e-mail. “I watched it about five or six times in a row and became slightly fixated with it. The lyrics then started to really stand out and it became my song of last summer. … I had been waiting for a song like this.”

Hers is the typical experience. But falling in love with a video or a studio recording can set unrealistic expectations for Del Rey’s live performances. Look for her to break it down Nicki Minaj-style and you’ll be disappointed. Her turn on “Saturday Night Live” in January was widely criticized. She told me presciently about her anxiety beforehand: “I’m not by nature a showstopper. I love to write and play songs, but onstage, all these things come into play. I’m always saying to myself, Don’t mess up. Don’t mess up.”

Del Rey is a small-town girl. She grew up Elizabeth Grant in Lake Placid, N.Y., neither rich nor poor. She remembers as a kid asking herself cheesy meaning-of-life questions and thinking she was really special for doing so. Then, in high school, she took a philosophy class and realized she was like everyone else. While a philosophy major at Fordham University, she started finagling gigs in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and the East Village. At 19 a small indie label signed her as Lizzy Grant for $10,000. “It was amazing. I got my own place to live. I lived on that money, finished school. At that point I envisioned having a very nice career touring small clubs, continuing my studies in philosophy and volunteering,” she tells me. “It’s actually the same vision I have today. I have a serious life here. I have a really big family. You know, I’m needed here.”

Needed by whom? She hints at family, which makes sense given the darker, psychosexual context of many of her songs.

What about love and loss, the other dark note in her oeuvre? “I felt the same way for a really long time, and then I met someone who I guess I fell in love with,” she says. “I just didn’t know I could feel differently. That time with him became sort of a place that I fell back to in my memory.”

And the breakup? “Well, I mean, the breakup is a part of it in the way that in the midst of loss you try to still look towards the light and not fall to pieces or do self-destructive things.”

She grows quiet, looks at her watch. It’s getting late. She admits that she doesn’t have an important industry meeting, as her publicist told me, but has to baby-sit for a friend.

Before she goes, I ask her where she lives. She’s looking to buy a place, but for now is in Williamsburg. “Staying with my ex-boyfriend,” she says nonchalantly, then bursts into nervous laughter and admits, “I live on his couch.”

I give her a look like, You just told me all that about falling in love and breaking up and you’re on the dude’s couch?

She pins it on the touring, letting out another embarrassed laugh. “Because no, I’m busy though!”

Originally published on nytimes.com with the headline A Star Is Born (and Scorned), and in abridged form in the February 19, 2012 issue of T: The New York Times Style Magazine.

#2012 #Born to Die #T: The New York Times Style Magazine #Jacob Brown

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g-xix · 20 days ago

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☁️Goalie | AngryGinge13

Summary: Ginge has had an online crush on a streamer which had been made very public on his streams - and landed him a chance to play alongside her in the Sidemen 2023 Charity Match... But when he sees her, does he get flustered and crumble under the embarrassment of everything he's said - or only take it in his stride and make it his goal of making something of this opportunity to flirt with her in real life?

Notes: Based on 2023 SDMN Charity match, v cutesy fic + LONG 8.3k wordcount so ENJOY!!

"Wouldn't it be funny if we got Y/n on the pitch as well?" Simon asked over one Sidecast. Josh, JJ, Vik and surprise guest: Danny Aarons all cracked up.

"You know Ginge has a proper big crush on her?" Danny brought up.

"Are you leaking information?" JJ asked, looking between Danny and Simon. "Can't be leaking Ginge's super secret crush to the entirety of the internet, can you..."

"No, there's clips of him online- look-"

One of the producers cast a TikTok to the screen behind the boys- watching the video of Ginge looking through his for you page during a stream: "IT'S HER AGAIN!" Ginge jumped out of his seat as a TikTok clip of you raging to COD popped up. Although clearly the gameplay wasn't what caught Ginge's attention, as he paused the video and ogled at your facecam before exclaiming: "IS SHE WEARING A UNITED SHIRT?!?!!?" Simon chuckled at Ginge's reaction as he watched the United-fanboy celebrate over his online-crush's attire. Ginge fell off of his chair and onto the floor dramatically, clutching a hand to his heart as he exclaimed "CHAT, HELP ME PLEASE, I NEED TO WIFE UP Y/N IMMEDIATELY- WHY DOES NOBODY ELSE SEE HOW PERFECT SHE IS?!"

JJ giggled as the clip ended with Ginge squirting water on his face to face to cool himself down, clearly flustered seeing you on the screen wearing the beloved United shirt.

"Can you imagine the scenes if we got her to play?" Josh's brain began ticking as he swivelled around to look at the other boys' faces. Vik and Simon could tell by the expression on his face that Josh was clearly trying to figure out how they could make it work, how they could get you playing on the pitch for that day as well.

"Can you imagine how Ginge would react seeing her on the pitch," Vik chuckled, having watched a compilation of Ginge on the SidemenReacts channel just the other day. "He might have a heart attack seeing her in real life after everything he's said about her online."

The boys within the room all shared a look, grins plastered wide on their faces at the idea of getting Y/n on the same pitch as Ginge for the charity match- and Josh knew exactly what he had to do to get that plan sorted.

----

"Y/n, you coming to the match on Saturday?" You saw JJ's face on the phone as you answered the call, angling the screen away from the webcam so that the stream couldn't see the JJ's number. It was currently a gloomy Thursday and you were counting on that match to bring a bit of light to your week.

"Yeah of course! Wouldn't miss a game like that for my nan's funeral."

"How would you like to play?" JJ's face grew into a grin as the chat's speed tenfolded, your hand dropping the phone as you let out a gasp, followed by a shriek, followed by a scream and jumping onto your chair before toppling it and yourself over.

You could hear JJ's joyous laughter from the phone that'd dropped under the desk, before you dove under for it- drawing it closer to your face as you screamed WHAT THE FUCk?!!

One sleep and one train ride later, you found yourself hugging all your Internet-mates once again. You found Niko and Chunkz first, giving the two of them a hug and catching up with them- before you saw Kai and Duke come downstairs together.

You blushed a bit hugging the old-crush Duke, but eased up whilst talking to Kai, who was ecstatically vlogging all three of you, unbelievably excited for the game ahead of you.

A more familiar face popped up a few moments later before Danny Aarons himself descended down the stairs groggily, receiving a warm embrace before he'd even gotten to the bottom of the stairs. He hugged you back, swaying a bit before pulling away to look at you with a grin.

"Get off the kit, Y/n, this the winning team's kit."

"Yeah, you said that about Tottenham before the Fulham game and look how that turned out."

That had Danny silenced as you laughed at his expression, patting him on the back and bringing him down to sit at the hotel's restaurant table with you. You'd managed to arrive just in time for dinner, and whilst you felt slightly underdressed in your comfy joggers and top, you felt comfortable sitting down at one of the tables to the side- Danny occupying the chair opposite you and pulling his phone out just as Simon approached.

"Not stealing the love of Ginge's life are you?" Simon knocked on Danny's shoulder as he passed, snickering and watching as Danny shouted at Simon's turned back in his defence. You furrowed your brows at the mention, Simon's words flying right over your head as you had no clue who Simon was talking about, whoever the named person was. You hadn't even caught the name Simon was referring to.

Maybe Simon was commenting on what he saw on Danny's phone, as Danny had been flicking through Instagram just a moment earlier.

Dinner went just fine, luckily.

Will, Chris, JJ and a few others joined you at different points, having a chat about the match and all the different things... Obviously, you were slightly nervous, but Will reassured you that if worst came to worst, he'd score an own goal to cover any of your fuck-ups.

You saw a tall ginger come down the stairs at some point as well- flicking his head so that his fringe flipped away from his face.

You observed him as he stepped down, his own eyes scanning the room as he looked for where to go or sit during the dinner. You got the chance to look him up and down whilst he did so, noticing how built he appeared. You hoped he'd be on your team, as you could imagine he'd be a strong player regardless of what position he actually played on the pitch.

His eyes found yours momentarily and you realised you had zoned out staring at him.

You pulled back with a blush dusted over your cheeks, looking back towards your fillet and plate, not feeling quite as hungry as you did before. You wanted to go and talk to that guy, but as you looked up again he was nowhere to be seen- not by the food point, any of the tables or the court...

Supposing he left, you turned back to Danny and listened to his story, trying to ignore the thoughts of that ginger guy and wanting to get to know more about him.

And unsurprisingly, you did get to know more about him just a day later.

You'd never been one for morning runs, but the fear of the match day dawned on you and crept up as you watched the sun rise over the Thames. And aching, crawling, horrid bile beginning in your lower stomach and not ending, but continuing up to your throat.

It was futile trying to get any more sleep after that, and so at a ripe 6am, you had your trainers and leggings on, earbuds plugged in and Ice Spice playing to the beating to the same tempo as you breathed. The crisp air was cleansing, refreshing as you crossed the road and continued your jog past the corner shop and onto a busier road, before you found a neat place to loop around and get back to the hotel at.

Through the park, you slowed to a less taxing jog, admiring the greenery in stark contrast to the dull grey of the outer London. You turned the corner, ready to exit the park and make your way back to the hotel when-

"FUCK!" You collided with someone in front of you hard. Your headphones skittered to the floor and your body followed, though luckily you went onto the grass. Still, it hurt your bum a bit, and you squeezed your eyes tight upon the impact.

"Bloody hell, y'alright love?" You heard two knees click as someone bent down besides you- your eyes opening to reveal that ginger you'd seen just the night before.

"You?" You groaned, your hand finding your back and massaging the stinging sensation. You'd hoped you would have at least been able to get ready before seeing that ginger bloke again- having wanted to talk to him looking nice. Afterall, he wasn't half bad looking himself, you'd found yourself thinking.

"What d'you mean you?" He asked, slightly affronted, pulling back slightly to look you up and down a bit meanly. "Thought you would've been a bit nicer."

"You know me?" You raised a brow, not expecting someone like him to be the type to watch your content. His ears cheeks went a pink hue almost instantly and he gulped, making you laugh slightly, not quite knowing why he reacted so nervously yet amused nonetheless.

"Right, enough of that- you on the way back to the hotel?" He asked, offering out a hand which you took, allowing him to help you up and onto your feet.

It shocked you a bit by how much taller he was as he stood in front of you. You thought you'd at least be eye level with his head, yet he was far taller- your head level with his chest, meaning that you had to crane your neck upwards to look at him, despite being near 6".

Your eyes drifted as you heard someone give a disapproving cough as they walked by, flashing a matching disapproving look. Realising your body was basically flush with the ginger that'd helped you up, you blushed and took a step back, picking up your headphones from the side and inhaling sharply as you turned them over to inspect them.

"Broken?"

"Look pretty bad-"

The right side's earmuff fell off before you could finish. The two of you stared at the broken headphone, a noise of suppressed laughter coming from behind you. You turned around and tried to face the guy with a deadpan face- yet with one glimpse of your expression- he burst out with a scream of laughter almost, bending over to let it out which did make you drop your expression to laugh with him- his laughter too contagious.

"You owe me a pair of headphones for that..." Your sentence trailed off as you looked for a name to call him.

"Ginge is the name," He puffed out his chest. "Just call me Morgan, though."

"Right, well, I'm-"

"Y/n? Yep, I know."

The two of you made your way back to the hotel with that, a little bit of small talk between the two of you as you finished your run at the ripe time of half seven in the morning.

"You had breakfast yet?" Morgan asked as the two of you entered the hotel lobby.

"No, you?" You turned to him as he shook his head. "Well then-" You took his hand in yours to take him to the breakfast bar so that he could sit and have breakfast with you- not wanting to be left to eat alone. And although you didn't see, Morgan's face went bright red as he began deeping the fact he had just spoken to his literal online crush, and was now getting breakfast with her - not to mention his fingers which were interlaced with your own already. He could never have imagined that he'd ever be able to do this, just a few days ago when he had gotten the call from Simon inviting him to the match.

Picking your yoghurt, fruit and fancy bits and bobs, you looked around the room for any of the other boys- but it appeared that Morgan and yourself were the first down. Thus, the two of you found a nice two-seater by the windows on the side, and sat to eat with one another.

You realised that Morgan had very nice eyes. Very blue, quite piercing, but his smile always seemed to make them more warm, more inviting. And he had so many stories. I mean, you could've sat opposite him all morning and not spoken a word and still have been entertained.

The two of you kept opposite one another even once your breakfast was finished, just chatting with one another.

Simon was first to come down with Tobi at his side, the two still a bit tired- though their eyes widened, waking up right away as they entered the breakfast bar and saw yourself sat opposite Ginge, head tilted and resting against your hand, staring up at Ginge and listening as he spoke, letting out a giggle before replying as he listened with a pure smile.

"That isn't Morgan with Y/n, is it?" Simon whispered and Tobi let out a little squeal.

"Oh my god, do you think we've just made a couple?!" Tobi whispered excitedly back.

"I'm wondering how the hell Ginge has managed to get Y/n for breakfast..." Simon shook his head. "What the Hell, I thought he'd make a tit of himself in front of her and that would go viral on the pitch... I didn't think that Ginge's crush would become anything real..."

"Reckon we get a Twitter pic?" Tobi turned to Simon with a little grin.

As soon as Simon returned with a smirk, Tobi whipped out his phone, peeking it around the corner and zooming in to the far table and snapping a photo, giggling as he showed it to Simon before pasting it into Twitter and hitting the Tweet button.

"Mission accomplished."

The two high fived before going into the bar and grabbing themselves their breakfast, wishing a good morning to yourself and Ginge before descending into giggles as they ran out of the bar and back to their rooms, gossiping the whole way back like a pair of schoolkids.

You were a bit confused by the first interaction of the morning with Simon and Tobi, and that confusion only grew as more of your friends descended the stairs. Everyone seemed to have their eyebrows raised, a look of surprise on their faces as they saw you and Morgan that morning.

Only Duke and Kai were kind enough to enlighten you on why.

"AYYYY, W RIZZ ANGRYGINGE, W RIZZ GINGE!!" Kai jumped as he saw the two of you sat down, holding out a hand which Morgan tentatively reached out for, Kai slapping them together and shoulder bumping himself with Ginge as he brought Duke over also.

"Morning Ma'am," Duke nodded at you, side-hugging a Morgan that was reddening at a frightening pace, quite similarly to yourself as you just felt slightly flustered at the thought everyone had thought Morgan and you were having breakfast together in a cute couple-y way. "I saw y'all was together from what Tobi posted-"

"What TOBI posted?" Your eyes went wide, head spinning between Kai, Morgan and Duke at the mention of yourself being posted without your knowledge, just as you noticed Danny entering the breakfast bar as well.

Danny snatched an apple from the counter before spotting you, jerking his head backwards and indicating for you to come with him, as he spot your stressed expression. You gave a quick hug to Kai and Duke, telling Morgan you'd see him in a few and thanks for the breakfast (Kai and Duke squealed and congratulated a tentative Ginge) before you followed after Danny, meeting him in the elevator just before the door managed to close.

"You know who Ginge is?" He asked, looking between you and his phone where he was rapidly typing.

"...Not really, no, I first saw him yesterday to be honest." You shook your head. Danny slotted his phone into your hands and you watched the TikTok on the screen.

"Then you should REALLY watch these clips."

The first clip was titles GINGE'S FIRST TIME REACTING TO Y/N! and showed him scrolling through his TikTok when he saw a clip of you come up, doing a forfeit Rasputin dance and screaming about how your thighs were burning. He was initially wide eyed staring at you at the beginning- and you couldn't even begin to count the number of times you saw him look you up and down on his screen. That clip ended with him clicking on your profile to follow you and follow the link in your bio to your other socials.

The next clip was him @-ing you on twitter, asking whether you wanted to play GTA sometime. He was clearly giddy asking it as well, and he let out a scream as he pressed post and threw his headphones off to run out of shot, still squealing. You let out a chuckle, feeling a bit bad having never received any wind about that tweet and thus not having replied to it.

Then there was a clip of Ginge doing the "throw the pen and if it lands in the jar it's true" challenge, saying "If this goes in, Y/n knows about me and loves me but is too nervous to say something". The pen went in, and Morgan let out a scream again.

Danny took his phone off of you as he saw you smiling down at the phone- your trance broken as you looked up to Danny once he took your phone away.

"So..." You began. "He's cute I s'pose."

"WHAT?!" Danny's mouth dropped open. "I thought you would've found him weird after that?!"

"Well I don't know, he was decent during breakfast..."

"Yeah, about that-"

Danny thrusted the phone back into your hands, Tobi's instagram stories opened. The picture was captioned MORNIGN BREAKFAST DATE? 👀 and featured a (luckily) blurry picture of yourself and Ginge sat at the table with one another, your head resting in the palm of your hand as you looked at Morgan. Luckily it looked as though it were taken from far enough away that it could've been any redhead guy sat with a girl.

"I'm gonna boot that ball at Tobi as soon as I get it on the pitch."

Sidemen_Updates: Picture of mysterious ginger and girl having breakfast together in restaurant! What could this mean? 🤔

sdmnfan1: Ginger? Probs Behz n his missus YANITEDx3: Angry ginge???? HapyyGinge: What are the chances he's w y/n lol YANITEDx3: No way ugly bastards getting anywhere near her Y/ncentral: Tbh shes' playing at the match it rly could be HapyyGinge: Can you imagine if he's bagged her after all the talk 😭😭😭 Clarkeysbog: Nah why'd they acc be kinda cute asw... Y/ncentral: Alr guys imma stop u there i think we're getting a bit delulu here

"Alright, love?" Ginge caused you to snap your head up from Twitter with a little snort as he plopped himself down into the seat next to yourself in the bus.

"Didn't realise you were such a massive fan of my content, AngryGinge13."

You only let out another snort as you watched his face slowly flush from pale to bright red like a tomato, his face and hair the same colour as he began stuttering over some sort of explanation.

"What's this, 'wife Y/n up immediately?'" You read out the caption as you displayed the TikTok on your phone, cackling as Morgan groaned, covering his face with his hands and sliding down his seat- most likely praying for the world to swallow him up in that moment. It was quite cute, honestly, and you resisted the urge to reach over and give him a hug.

"It's okay, it's okay..." You settled for patting his head with a devious grin as you continued to tease him in a slightly lowered voice, loving the shyness you'd inflicted on the boy besides you. "You're not half bad yourself, either, but I guess we'll see where that goes after the match..."

Two squeals drew your attention away from your flirting with Morgan, however, as Tobi and Simon giggled from in front of you- Tobi's phone raised above his head to reflect the view of you teasing Morgan- the duo in the seats in front of you far too invested in seeing a love story develop - watching yourself and Morgan through the camera app as though you were a Netflix romance show.

Morgan could only be happy that you'd looked away from him however, because the feeling of your legging-ed thigh brushing against his own skin had a blush creeping across his cheeks - the teasing compliment you'd served causing his ears to turn a lovely beet red, too.

You decided to lay off him, however, instead returning to your phone and chatting with JJ and Chunkz who weren't sat too far away - letting yourself rest your legs across Morgan's lap partway through, and making a little TikTok with him during the journey, too... And the fans were keen to point out your legs stretched across Morgan's, as well as the boy's coy little smile n wave at the camera - cheeks dusted red with a shy blush, contrasting his normal, boisterous persona.

In the end, you did end up just falling asleep...

On Morgan's shoulder.

And Tobi was the one to let you know, as you arrived at the stadium, stretching you limbs out and cracking your neck before checking your instagram stories whilst rows slowly filed out of the bus. And lo and behold, Tobi's story yielded a picture of him holding the camera up with a hand over his mouth, portraying giggly-shock at the image of you curled up on Morgan's shoulder whilst Morgan held up a meek thumbs up, bemused smile and wide eyes displaying a look of bewilderment for how he'd found himself in such a position.

"Prick", You hissed at Tobi as you walked past him to the changing rooms, hearing the explosion of his and Simon's laughter as well as JJ's confused what? 's whilst you just sped up to Danny, flipping off Kon's BTS camera with a grin along the way, too.

Though you were a part of the Sidemen team, playing on Sidemen FC as goalkeeper, the organiser had been kind enough to organise the locker-room arrangement so that whilst you had your own (barren) changing room separate from the boy's one - a short corridor connected the two so that you could still walk back once they were done changing, and join the team talks.

And after switching your comfy leggings and tee for your kit, you joined with the boys as you walked out onto the pitch.

You could feel nerves building in your stomach as you walked through the tunnel, fingers drumming anxiously along the wall as a nervous stim. And it seemed as though someone else had noticed too, as you felt a soft bump against your right shoulder, drawing a slight gasp from your throat as you were pulled out of your thoughts to look up at the man who walked besides you.

"Nervous?" His Mancunian accent sounded almost mocking, but the eye contact with a seemingly caring expression told you otherwise, and let you give an honest answer.

"I've been alright all morning... Well, after the morning run, but I can feel myself getting nervous now -"

You were cut off by gargantuan roar from the crowds outside, the cheers creating an echo within the opening tunnel and almost wanting to make you press your hands over your ears and run away from the overpowering noise. You could borderline feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes and a heat rushing to your neck which made you regret initially answering the phone and sealing your fate in playing in this match.

Morgan noticed your nerves, too, heart sinking as he saw your expression dropping at the crowd reaction to JJ running onto the pitch.

"Look, listen-" Morgan put a hand on your shoulder, pulling you to the side of the tunnel so that the likes of JME and XQC were free to pass by whilst Morgan's eyes bore into yours. "-It's too late to back out at this point and you know that, yeah?"

You gulped and nodded in agreement, not feeling any better from Morgan's enforcement.

"And how long you been playing football for - as a keeper."

"Since I was about six," You divulged, not knowing where exact Morgan was going, and feeling your voice come out almost thinly, strained from the fear which tightened your vocal cords.

"And how many people you got following you - all across the board - on your TikTok, Instagram, Twitch - fuck, you can even could your secret Wattpad account from when you were twelve, I don't care-"

"A few million," You cut him off with a slight laugh at his words, sniffing and trying to clear the nerves and make room for Morgan's positivity to fill your body, too. "And that's not including the Wattpad followers."

"Well there's eighty thousand here - you have millions of followers? Technically that means about eight-hundred-percent of the people here love you -" Morgan's waffle earned a bemused look at the flawed maths, yet you continued listening regardless. "-So that means that absolutely everyone you can hear outside there - yeah - they all fucken love you, so you don't have shit to be scared about, yeah? And you've been keeping for over a decade - you've got skill, you've got talent, you know what you're doing, don't let yourself get scared because we're a duo you and me - I'm gonna be defending as right-back, you're with me and I know both of us are talented so we don't have shit to get scared about, alright?"

It was odd, hearing the crowd fade out as you focussed on the ginger's waffle, noticing how his eyes seemed to glow whilst his face was barely a few inches away from yours during his passionate ramble. And once he was done, though you didn't feel wholly freed from your nerves, you could wholly appreciate the extent Morgan was going to in an attempt to placate your nerves.

Morgan was stunned as he felt arms wrap around him, eyes widening slightly as the breath left his lungs, making eye contact with Josh who gave him a smirk with questioning eyes - bringing rise to a blush on Morgan's cheeks as he embraced you with his own arms, slowly patting on your back in what was attempted comfort.

His hand slid down from your shoulders to your hand, fingers interlacing with yours and pulling you out of your sad feels as you noticed the warmth of his palm against yours, the way his long fingers seemed to envelop your hand and squeeze your appendage bringing an almost giggly twistiness to your stomach as you could feel a heat spreading across your face at the gesture.

Now was most definitely not the time to be getting crush feelings, and yet you couldn't help yourself from letting those butterflies in your stomach spread to every extreme molecule of your body.

"C'mon, let's go get warmed up outside - we're not playing yet so at least you can get a feel for what it's like out there."

Morgan's hand didn't leave yours. No, his fingers stayed intertwined with yours whilst you two walked towards the light, walking out of the enclosed space onto the lush green of the pitch, feeling the first ray of glorious butter gold sunlight hit your face - the hot air of the pitch flooding you as you left the AC-cooled tunnel - jogging out with Ginge as you heard the uproar of the pitch upon your entrance. The positively uproarious response from the crowd made a smile spread to your face, nerves dissipating slightly as you grinned - rotating your head to take in the stands filled with fans - a grand screen to one side of the stadium projecting yourself and Ginge.

Responding to the crowd's noise, Ginge raised your interlinked hands above your head, the screen projecting your interwoven fingers and only making the crowd even louder - a few screams resonating from the stadium and making you double over with laughter as you reached the Sidemen FC team who were grouped together, kicking a ball between themselves.

"PUTTING ON A SHOW WITH GINGE, EH?" Danny yelled from the other side of the circle, making you detach your hand from Morgan's - though the grin on your face was unwipeable.

"Look at you two LOVEBIRDS -" JJ loudly chipped in with an overdone wink, nudging your arm from the left.

"Everything's coming together for you now, i'nt it Ginge?" Simon tittered, as Tobi collapsed into his side at the mention - the duo both enjoying the way that Ginge stuttered to come up with a response (a matching grin also plastered on his face).

And although you would've loved to have watched Ginge scramble to pull his words together, Josh tapped you on the shoulder, removing you from the group by sending you over to Elz to get interviewed.

Midway through the interview, Ginge was kind enough to boot a ball into the back of your legs, catching your attention just long enough for him to blow a kiss which made you roll your eyes at the gesture, smiling nonetheless.

"That's Ginge blowing a kiss for you there - speaking of Ginge - what sort of relationship do you have with him? Because I'm sure you've seen clips circulating online which show how Ginge has sort of got a little online crush on you..."

"Well, I'll be honest - those clips were only shown to me this morning, thanks to Danny," You spoke, realising how much had happened just today. "And... Well, I think it's difficult to name- or say what mine and Ginge's relationship really is - I mean - we just had our first conversation this morning!"

"OH- does that mean that picture Tobi posted on his Instagram story this morning is in fact you and Ginge - because there's been some speculation on Twitter and whatnot..."

You threw your head back to laugh a bit at the question. "Yeah, I've seen all the comments too... I think the fans are really invested in seeing Ginge and I interact to be honest-"

"Yeah, I'm sure that running into the pitch with the hands held will give the fans some fuel to talk about for a while."

"No doubt about it."

"Could you just expand on what you and Ginge were saying in the tunnel before you came out, holding hands? We had a little clip of the tunnel beforehand, where we saw you with your back to the wall talking to Ginge, and I'll be honest - it seemed very intimate between you two - can we know anything that was going on there?"

That unremovable smile returned to your face - the one that made you feel as though you were trying not to giggle and return to being just a girl with a crush... Not that you exactly had a crush... "I was a little bit nervous back there I'll be honest, and bless him, Morgan- sorry- Ginge was so sweet; he noticed and was just sorta giving me some support and affirming it was all gonna be alright - and yeah, that's why we came out holding hands too, that was Ginge's little gesture to try and boost my confidence up."

"Well, I'm sure whatever he said was true, because we're all expecting an absolute storm from you today on the pitch, Y/n - we'll let you get back to warming up and training, and we wish you luck out there on the pitch!"

You returned to the Sidemen FC circle where the boys did their dynamic stretching - joining in with the line of men that stretched their hamstrings by shooing the chickens on the line.

"How you feeling now?" Ginge moved to stand next to you whilst he stretched.

"A lot better." You breathed a sigh of relief. "Everything feels a lot more... relaxed, now. You know, it's scary everyone's up there watching but it's kinda easy to separate that. It just feels like playing football with a bunch of people I'm a fan of."

"Exactly how I'm feeling." Ginge agreed. "Let's warm you up in goal."

Fifteen minutes later - after having saved some of Ginge's goals - having a team talk - and feeling primed and ready for the match... Simon won the coin toss, the whistle blew, and the game commenced With Simon passing the ball back to Tobi, and your heartrate accelerating through the roof.

Though Ginge was completely true to everything he'd promised, you noticed as the tall ginger dominated the back line, kicking the ball away whenever Chris or Niko or Filly or Theo came close... Making your work as a goalkeeper light as you allowed Kai - your short friend who was criminally offside - to kick the ball into the back of the net.

As the corner was being taken, although Ginge was attentively marking Speed, he didn't miss the opportunity to yell a quick bit of praise at you between his rugged pants, making Simon yell at him to "SHUT UP AND GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!", despite the Sidemen's current 1-0 score, lieu to Ethan.

And even when you did let Chris conceded a goal - after he weaved and dribbled the ball between the line of defenders?

Your body hit the ground - an attempted and failed dive whereby Chris' ball had passed just beneath your gloved before you could get it. And letting yourself lie there and rest your head in your arms on the floor, hearing cheers from the audience at the blond superstar's shocking goal - you felt not so ashamed, as one person came to you and sighed - sitting next to you and patting your back whilst you just groaned.

"You're alright, that was pretty un-saveable." He comforted, and you just moved your head to the right to make eye contact with him from the grassy pitch - plopping your head back into yours arms.

"That was fucking embarrassing, that slow-mo is gonna be a violation..." You looked up at the large screen at the end of the stadium that replayed the goal, and your dive as the ball just managed to sneak past your arms. A groan fell from your lips again, because of how goofy you felt you looked.

"Oh come on that's not half bad," Ginge argued, and slung an arm around your back as you decided to get up - accompanying your movements and getting you back up and onto your feet. "C'mon, you've still got this - they've had double the shots on goal that we've had and you've saved all of them other than that one so far. You're already doing miles better than eighty percent of the pitch."

"STOP DISTRACTING Y/N AND GET IN POSITION, GINGE!" Simon's shout came again, though even the blond who was so passionate about the game couldn't help but yell with a grin, at the way that Ginge looked so domestically sweet towards you - a side of the ginger which no-one had seen before.

And luckily, with Simon slotting a goal in and Chunkz getting one in return - you made it to the half time team talk with an equal 2-2 score to either team.

"-So attack is our strongest of the lot, and then in defence I'm spotting really good chemistry-"

Everyone in the circle turned their heads subconsciously towards you and Ginge as manager Wingrove pointed out the chemistry. And you could feel a blush rising to your cheeks as your eyes zipped and noticed how many people within the team had noticed you and Ginge's close connection... And Ginge's arm around your shoulder, which had been stuck their since Clattenburg had blown the half time whistle didn'y help your case much, either.

"But we've got to lock into the game back there. We're taking too long setting up because there's a bit too much chit-chat going on around there."

Simon coughed to subtly conceal the yell of GINGE! that left his lips, that made everyone laugh. Tobi nodded approvingly though, flashing a wink as you made eye contact with him and felt an even deeper shade of red settling across your cheeks.

At least you and Ginge had matching blushes.

"Morgan I know you say I'm your crush on your streams and all-" You leant over to whisper into the Ginger's ear whilst Wingrove spoke to the attackers, the ginger leaning his head down so that he could hear your quiet voice over the noise of the rest of the changing room - creating intimate proxemics. "-But d'you actually mean any of that? Like, are you just exaggerating and keeping all that up for the viewers...?"

Ginge withdrew with wide eyes at the accusation, your words seemingly the stupidest thing he'd ever heard.

Although before you got the answer that could placate your nerves and send you out with a dopamine high for the next round...

Cheers errupted from all the boys as Ethan gave his team talk, making the both of your heads snap up like deer in headlights, as you saw the interviewer, Cecil Jee, camera trailing behind him - having caught the team speech as well as the entirety of yours and Ginge's intimate interaction.

Again, you wondered whether it was all being played up for the cameras in that moment, where Ginge tried to comfort you by attaching his hand to yours and giving it a squeeze - all noise turning into a blurry, unintelligible mush of words as Ginge's hand pulled you onto your feet and into the tunnel once more for the second round of the game.

And before you knew it, you were back in the white box of the goal area, clapping your gloved hands together and yelling out towards the pitch.

Ofc course not before Ginge managed to give you your own personal pep talk in the goal square, hyping you up and making you fist bump him with all your body power before hugging him whilst you heard another cheer bubble from the crowd, which was undoubtably for you two and the romance that they saw blossoming on the pitch, between their favourite creator and the man that they thought would never have a chance.

But no more than ten minutes after after Ginge's cute little speech, did you watch him brutally floor a little blond man in the penalty area - and referee Clattenburg's whistle sounding, deducing a....

Penalty.

"I'm gonna fucken kill you if I concede because of your stupid, illegal tackles," You hissed at the ginger as he came up to you practically splurging his apologies whilst you watched JJ take on Chunkz and and Kai in a wrestling match besides Chris at the penalty spot. "Holy shit, they've got Speed taking this pen?!"

You were horrified to watch the boy place ball down and eye you up like prey.

"Morgan, I'm gonna die-" The hyperbole fell from your lips too easily as you felt pressure begin to consume you.

"Y/n if you concede I promise I'll shatter his shins-" Ginge caught your horrified look. "Outside of the penalty area so you don't have to deal with another pen, of course-"

"Shut up and go to the edge so that you can run in and boot the ball away when I deflect it, you right twa-"

Tobi pulled Ginge away, overhearing the conversation - and Danny - a part of the opposition only took Ginge's place.

"You and Ginge been getting chatty." He raised a brow and you rolled your eyes.

"You're not allowed to distract me before a pen." You gave a blunt response, and the stubborn boy crossed his arms and only took a step closer so that he was even more in your personal space as he began interrogation.

"Have you two just agreed to play it up for the media, or is Y/n genuinely getting up in her feels?" Danny teasingly persisted, yet only asked the question that'd been on your mind for the entirety of the second half. And it most definitely wasn't what you needed reminding of as you back-stepped into the goal, star jumping and telling the persistent boy to fuck off, as you tried to get in the zone yet couldn't shake off the annoyingly smirking brunet.

Taller, more built and ginger-er - your partner in defence plucked Danny from besides you like a teddy bear, picking Danny up and removing him from the goal square (much to your relief), and letting you lock in - star jumping and clapping your hands together to lock yourself in and follow the ball as Speed took his steps backwards run up to the ball, bounding towards it and striking it towards the side, sending it rolling towards...

....The centre?!

Your hands collected the ball at your knees with minimal effort as you looked up with confusion - almost expecting Clattenburg to say that Speed had to redo it.

Although instead you were met with the Sidemen boys running over to you, cheering for scoring the absolutely abysmal shot that'd been saved whilst Ginge practically crushed you with a hug, screaming "LET'S FUCKEN GO - I NEVER DOUBTED YOU FOR A MINUTE-" Whilst you felt overwhelming dopamine filling your system as you let out a victorious yell of your own - telling the boys to scatter before thundercunting the ball further up the court and watching at the ball you kicked lead to an assist as Manny flicked it into the goal XQC marked.

You were running on a complete high as you watched Manny score another - then Tobi - followed by Harry... And even though Max Fosh and Niko managed to get their balls fly past your fingertips and into your goal's net - watching Tareq just tap the ball into the bottom left as the whistle blew...

A scream left your mouth at the victory, as the rest of the pitch and crowd broke into their own celebrations - though the ginger man who had carried the defence alongside you?

He instantly whirled around once the whistle sounded, Ginge making eye contact with you whilst his face broke out into an uncontrollable grin, pointing you out and sprinting over with the fastest speeds you'd seen all day as you joined in with running towards him, shortening the distance bit by bit before you jumped onto the man who was no less than a metre away.

Your legs wrapped around his middle, his arms wrapping around your body as yours tightly enveloped his shoulders, burying your cheek into the ginger head of hair that'd been made spiky from sweat and exertion of the game - though just as much as Ginge didn't care about your sweaty body that pressed into his, you couldn't have cared less as you two tightly embraced, every muscle in your body jittering in excitement of the win which you celebrated with you accomplice on the pitch.

And then you had everyone else swam you - another pair of arms around your back, and then your side, as a huddle of Sidemen FC formed with yourself on Ginge's hips - elevated at the centre, were projected onto the grand screen at one end of the stadium, Harry and Tobi and Simon and Ethan and JJ and Josh and Vik, Wingrove and MrBeast and Deji and Lux and Freezy-

Ethan lift the trophy with a cheers whilst sparks of orange and yellow escalated from the pyrotechnics on either side of the stage, the whole crowd cheering as you all jumped and took it in turns lifting the trophy and getting a cheer of your own.

And after Ginge had lifted it - you felt pats on your back, pushing to to the front of the stage to hold the cup up with the ginger, hearing the loudest cheer yet as you and the previous-fanboy-now-friend lifted the cup up alongside you - electricity crackling between the two of you as you placed it down carefully, before finding himself thrown back around you and hugging you happily as the dopamine flooded through your systems.

"GINGE, Y/N - CAN WE GET A POST MATCH INTERVIEW FROM YOU TWO?"

Elz pulled the pair of you towards the mic as Ginge's arm detached from around your shoulders to pick up a mic and hold it between the two of you.

"Congratulations on the win, you both played spectacularly and I have no doubts you're both feeling absolutely ecstatic right now, is that right?"

Ginge nodded and you went to answer the question. "You've hit the nail right on the head, Elz - honestly - we were both sort of asked to join the game on a whim - and to have so many good moments on the pitch together... Yeah, completely over the moon really."

"And we have seen those moments on the pitch - and in the changing room, when you two have been really very close, and you two most definitely have the most chemistry on this pitch!" Elz voiced the fans' thoughts with a wide grin, getting the inside scoop of the chemistry and absolutely loving it. "But will your chemistry remain off of the pitch? We've seen from your clips, Ginge - you've had yourself a little thing for Y/n, but we've never seen it reciprocated until today... Will we be seeing more of you two as a duo?? Maybe even as the next YouTube couple on the scene...?"

You were completely stunned by the question - looking from a curious Elz up towards the ginger with a crush - watching as he smiled bashfully, hand raising to sweep his fringe from his eyes in a way that looked shy now, as he looked and smiled down at you - taking the mic from your hands to ask...

"Well, I think that's up to Y/n, if she'd maybe want to come out for a d-date with us sometime-"

Ginge was cut off as a scream left Elz's mouth at the young romance she watched unfurling in front of the cameras, as you yourself couldn't voice your own interest enough - nodding your head rapidly whilst Ginge's grin spread to your own lips.

And in a moment of greatness, where the two of you had both won the cup and were at peak stages of happiness - your delight was only raised even further by Ginge asking you out - and you felt his arms come beneath your legs, picking you up and ending the interview whilst holding you bridal style before marching back to the changing rooms still carrying you, your arms slung around his neck whilst you couldn't help the giggles n redness on your face that had you feeling like a mere teenager.

And walking through and into your separate, secluded changing room - he dropped you down so that you could sit on one of the benched whilst he sat besides you, also still sporting a wide grin of his own.

"Morgan?" You felt your voice take a more tentative, cautious tone as there was a slight shake in your words. "You didn't answer at half time and I still don't really know and just wanna make sure we're on the same page, really... Are you... Are we... Are you - i dunno - serious about wanting to go out on a date, and all of this? Or is it all just for the viewers and content..."

Again, Ginge looked at you like you were mental.

"Y/n, you flipping div," The insult fell all too easily from his lips, and made you furrow your brows together. "I've thought you were the most hot and out-out-my-league lass since I found you on TikTok - then Twitch and then YouTube too - the fact that today you've shown any signs of liking me back, I should be scared of you just doing this for content, not the other way round."

"What I'm trying to say is it's not for content, I do really like you and I would really l-like to go on a date with you... As long as you're still on with that.."

A sigh of relief followed by a squeal of happiness left your lips before you reattached yourself to Ginge's body to hug him, feeling your heartrate decelerate as it was confirmed; Ginge did indeed like you and it wasn't all for the cameras.

Feeling a surging throughout your entire body, you reached up and planted a kiss on his right cheek - the side that you were cuddled up to, squeezing him one last time before commanding him to get out so that you could change - collapsing against the metal bench and giving yourself a breather to take it all in, the moment that Ginge left.

That was, until, you heard the conversation fall silent in the Sidemen boys' connected changing room, before someone asked "Well Ginge, what happened?"

Again, there was another silence - and you pricked your ears to listen in and see how Ginge would respond to the question.

"SHE KISSED ME!" Was what you heard him yell, before the rest was covered with the deafening roar of cheers from the other boys, making a laugh bubble from your throat at the fact that not only had you played and successfully won the trophy for your team - but you'd also succesfully secured yourself a date with someone who made you blush, laugh and feel loved.

BONUS SCENE!!!

New post on Insta from @/angryginge13!

AngryGinge13: Best day of my life. Thank you Sidemen and Y/n.username

open replies

Y/n.username: 😋💗 DannyAarons: stop thirsting in the replies Kaicenat: W RIZZ Y/Ncentral: AHHHH I CANT BELIEVE SMTH HAS HAPPENED BETWEEN THESE TWO HapyyGinge: LITR MENTAL INNIT Yanitedx3: Still dont know how he's bagged her 😭😭😭

Miniminter: @/tobjizzle LOOK AT WHAT WE'VE DONE YAY Tobjizzle: If we aren't front row at their wedding there's gonna b issues Ksi: wait guys i technically am part of this too, i invited her to the match Miniminter: Shut up you aren't a part of this.

New post on Insta from Y/n.username!

Y/n.username: Yeah you're never gonna hear me shut up about this.

open replies!

Angryginge13: Better than Onana 💗 Yanitedx3: this man is so locked in if he's saying shit like that

Tobjizzle: LOOK @/miniminter SHE'S POSTED HIM TOO JKDJFSH Miniminter: THIS IS OUR BEST ASSISST YET Y/n.username: shut up you guys 😭😭 Angryginge13: I cannot thank you boys enough.

Chunkz: Yeah none of the posts from our elevator photoshoot i see how it is Y/n.username: saving those for when Vogue finally calls me back

XQC: the better goalkeeper 👏 Y/n.username: Respect to you, great game 💓🫡 Angryginge13: Not as much game as me though clearly 🔥 Y/n.username: Shut up we're having a moment

I started this last year after the charity match i shit u not it's taken a whole YEAR to write LMAOO 😭😭 Hope it's been worth it x

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