#Jack would be ashamed XD

[byunpum]

Mama's Boy | Part 5

Pair: Jake x neytiri x human reader (trio couple) x sully children's

Warning: cozy moments, conflict, family problems

Note: I hope you like this part, the next one is gonna be the final part...Thank you sooo much!! btw I recently opened a KO-Fi…. if you want to leave any tips or support I would appreciate it (it would help me to buy real coffee xD).

AVATAR MASTERLIST | Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6(final)

The previous day's argument was very intense. Leaving the family in a very delicate state. Even you decided to sleep alone in a kind of bed you made. You were so upset with jake, you couldn't understand why he was like that with lo'ak. Sometimes you thought Jake was ashamed of lo'ak…ashamed that you were his mother. You had been sitting quietly in the marui all day, still feeling a little bad. You were taking care of tuk, the girl was by your side. Making a necklace for you, while she was telling you everything she did in the morning. "Love be careful…you can hurt yourself" you help tuk with the needle she was using. At that, you can see how jake enters the marui, he had a basket full of fish. Looking quickly at you, walking towards where he used to leave the food that had to be prepared. You decide to ignore him, and be playful with tuk.

"baby…can we talk?" asks jake, the man had approached you, sitting down next to you. You on the other hand were acting like he wasn't there. You look up, and sigh loudly. "Tuk honey, why don't you let mommy and daddy talk alone" you help the girl pick up her materials, and wait for her to come out of the marui doing some jumping jacks. You smile a little to see how happy tuk was, oblivious to what was going on. "Tell me?" you speak, looking at jake waiting for him to start talking. "Is it true that you are thinking of leaving? "jake looks at you, you could tell he was worried. It was too dangerous for you to go back to the jungle. The RDA was looking for Jake, and when Jake's name was on the line his whole family was involved. The months you had to be alone, you never left the lab.

"I see neytiri told you everything" you say, trying not to make eye contact with him. "Love…we can fix this" Jake touches your hand, but you push him away. "Jake it's not with me that you have to fix things, it's with your son. Your behavior towards him…it's terrible." You speak, trying to hold back your tears. "Y/n you're misunderstanding things I" jake speaks, but is interrupted when you turn around and are now looking directly at him. "Jake… I have a question for you, what does neteyam like the most?" you ask. "A-ahh he likes hunting, he likes to ride his ikran. He's also a great talker," says jake.

"Okay, now tell me what lo'ak likes?" you speak up, knowing jake wouldn't answer quickly like the other question. Jake gets nervous, looking around for a moment. "He likes…he likes being with his brother. " jake speaks timidly, watching as your eyebrows draw together in anger. "Lo'ak likes to ride around and investigate things. He loves to practice with his bow, he likes to spend time with his sister kiri and all he looks forward to is his father telling him he did a great job" you were already very annoyed.

"I know…" jake speaks softly. Shaking his head, look embarrassed. "Jake your sons are not soldiers…they are children. Children who need love and attention from their father. Neteyam is not the only one here who needs to be trained. Lo'ak too, he needs you to treat him with respect and love. What does it cost you to do that?" you speak, watching as jake pulled his knees up to his chest. Becoming more like a little ball. "I just…want them to be strong and …. I'm afraid they'll be weak and won't be able to survive this chaos we live in" jake tries to explain. And yes, he was a little bit right. But that didn't justify the preference he had over neteyam. "Jake, I know all that" you wave your hands all around you. "This is all chaos, I know this isn't our home. I know what we're going through, but what does lo'ak have to do with it? Why can't you treat him like you treat kiri or neteyam or tuk? What did he do to you?" you speak, getting up from the floor. You had to walk, because the rage was consuming you. You hated it when jake tried to avoid trouble. Telling you smith answers to distract you. "He didn't do anything" jake follows you with his eyes.

"I feel like sometimes you just treat him like that, because he came from me. Because he's not completely na'vi." You had tears in your eyes, you didn't know why you were so sentimental. Even though this situation always broke your heart, you wanted lo'ak to feel loved. "Y/n never say that… this has nothing to do with you being his mother" jake in one swift movement. He takes your arm, to pull you closer to him. "I wouldn't ask for another mother for my son, you are an excellent mother" jake lets his head lay on your chest. He is silent for a moment, you didn't want to keep arguing with him. You loved your family, you loved jake, you hated being upset with him. "Lo'ak is how I was…he is so much like the stupid jake who betrayed and endangered people he cared about. That stupid jake got innocent people killed" jake speaks, you knew he was talking about grace. She had been so important to you.

You take jake's face in your hands, pulling his face up so he could look you in the eye. "But that stupid jake was the one who saved a whole clan, that stupid jake is strong and brave. That stupid jake was the one I fell in love with" you speak softly. Tears streamed down Jake's cheeks. "I want you to be the person that stupid Jake needed, for lo'ak. He needs you…" you speak, feeling jake hug you. You both stand there for a moment. "I don't want him to make mistakes that he'll regret later," jake says. "He'll get in trouble if you don't help…try to be a better parent to him. That's all I ask of you" you start walking away from jake. Picking up some things tuk had left on the ground, you go to look for the girl.

"Do you think you would have been happy if instead of me, tom was the one in this body?" jake asks you. You knew this was tormenting Jake. You had been tom's girlfriend just before he went to earth. And there he was murdered. When jake came to the RDA and took tom's place. For you it was a big shock, Jake was just like your ex-boyfriend, but so different at the same time. You had to admit that Jake was the only thing that kept you sane those months. Not to mention the relationship that formed between the two of you. Jake allowed you to see neytiri again and get closer to the clan. Jake could be a fool, but the fool you liked the most. The rest is history.

You turn around before leaving the marui, tears in your eyes. "Believe it or not, I am very happy…but I wish your insecurities didn't affect this family" you speak, walking out of the marui leaving jake alone with his thoughts. You liked that Jake opened up to you, but you would like to see him try to improve his relationship with his children. Because it wasn't just lo'ak, neteyam was also affected by jake's treatment. You pause for a moment, taking a deep breath and wiping away your tears. You calm down a bit, and start looking for tuk. Luckily for you, the girl wasn't far away. She was sitting with neteyam playing.

You approach the children, see how they look at you and their eyes light up. "Hello" you greet them, sitting down next to tuk. "Look my love, you forgot these things" you hand the things to tuk. The little girl thanks you, she didn't dare to come back for them. "Thank you mommy" tuk says, now sitting on your lap. You can feel neteyam's eyes glued to you, he knew things were not good between his parents. The news that you were likely to leave had destroyed him. Neteyam could be strong, and always be by Jake and Neytiri's side. But you were his refuge, where he could go and be a child again. If he was to be judged for a second. "Mom?" neteyam speaks to you, you look at him quickly. "Mmm?" you are helping tuk, when you feel neteyam sit down next to you. "Is it true that you are going to go and leave us?" neteyam speaks waiting for you to answer. "Mom? You are going to leave us?" yells tuk. You sigh, you had gone through a pretty strong disappointment a few minutes ago and you wanted to control yourself.

"Where did you hear that neteyam?" you look at the boy, you thought you had argued in private, but you guess your screams were too loud. "We heard it by accident, I promise" neteyam gets nervous, but you hold his hand to calm him down. "mom if you go…can I come with you?" neteyam was getting sentimental, you caress his face a little. Laughing a little and tapping your arms to give him support. "I'm not going anywhere…but if I did. Of course you can go with me." You speak, watching as neteyam pouts. You joke a little, in order to change the topic. You didn't like them getting involved in adult issues, you knew they had been through a lot. At such a young age.

It wasn't long before you started to feel a little dizzy. You tried to hold your child tighter in your lap, but you felt like you were about to throw up. Never having felt like this before. You push tuk a little so that the girl slips out of your lap, placing your hands on your stomach, you were in a lot of pain. Neteyam noticed this, and quickly began to help you. "What's wrong mom?" neteyam holds your shoulders. The vomiting was something you couldn't help, and you swore you were emptying yourself alive. neteyam held you so you wouldn't mess yourself up. "Mom!" the boy whines, he has never seen you like this before. It was so strong that as soon as you recover, your sight goes blank.

You start to get up, you could hear some voices around you. You didn't open your eyes yet, but you could distinguish them. One was from neytiri, and the other was from ronal. You could feel some warm things on your body, and some parts were wet. You start to become conscious, opening your eyes a little at a time. "Ma Y/n!!!" neytiri sounded so happy, she had a nice smile on her face. On the other hand, ronal was moving away from your body. You could tell she looked exhausted. "What happened?" you try to get up, but you barely had any strength. "You fainted again and neteyam warned us" neytiri explains, stroking your hair. Something seemed curious about neytiri, she was supposed to be worried and she looked so happy. "You are sick…you need to rest and take medicine" said Ronal, the woman was already looking in some containers for the herbs to prepare the medicine you had to take. The more you woke up you realized that you were in the marui that Ronal used to take care of the sick na'vi. "And the children?" you look weakly at neytiri. "They are with Jake, don't worry," Neytiri speaks, settling in closer to your side.

You rest a little, but you feel how Ronal starts to remove the towels that were warm before. Drying your exposed skin a bit. He had been using compresses and hot towels to try to get you up. "The medicine is a little strong, but it won't hurt the baby," says Ronal, holding out a jar of carracol. Your eyes widen in surprise, what the hell was this woman talking about, pregnant? This woman is crazy. "Baby? No, I'm not pregnant" you speak, now you had recovered all your strength. You were surprised. You look at neytiri, but she had a look that was worrying you. "ney" you push her a little, you needed her to speak. "Y/N I thought you are…since the symptoms" neytiri can't contain her joy. "Plus we did an abdominal test and we could feel something" ronal looks at you, handing you the drink. You are confused, and now you were about to vomit at the news. How could that be possible, you were sure you weren't pregnant.

Hey, you and Jake had been together. Well…ever since you had joined the clan. You two hadn't kept your hands off each other. Well… the three of you. You were sure neytiri knew you weren't pregnant. The idea of having a baby doesn't enter your head, not now that the atmosphere is so tense. You take the drink, you notice how Ronal is watching you. Making sure you take all the medicine. "Ahh it's disgusting" you complain. Listening to neytiri laugh, you liked seeing her like that. It's been a long time since you've seen her this happy, it was genuine happiness. "Well…I'll let you rest here. I'll come by later and check on you" ronal gets up from the floor, and walks out of the marui. Leaving you and neytiri alone. You were exhausted, but you can feel neytiri touch your stomach. Causing you to look at her with surprise. "We will have another baby ma y/n" neytiri smiles. "But when?" you had many questions, when you found out you were pregnant with lo'ak it was because norm did a test on you. But now it had been a natural test that na'vi women did to find out if they were pregnant. "I think it was the day at the beach" neytir laughs a little, blushing. You start to remember and you want to curl into a ball. You were scared, really scared.

"Hey, don't be scared. I'll be right here with you. And we've been looking for this for so many years," says Neytiri. And she was right, it got to the stage where the pregnancies were more about the two of you. They were very intimate between you and Neytiri. You wanted to be in on the whole process, including the excitement of being pregnant. It would build on the bonds that would be formed with the children. "I know…but this news is very unexpected…and even more so now that I want to kill Jake," you say. ""You haven't talked?"" asks neytiri, she wanted this to be resolved. "Ney…I need him to be a better father to lo'ak and you know I'm right" you speak. Neytiri is thoughtful for a moment, she knew you were right, and she would support you in whatever decision you make. And even more so at this moment. "Well, I'm going to let you rest. Ronal said he would come later. I'll come later." neytiri wanted to break the news to everyone in the family. A baby was big news for her, and she knew everyone would be happy. Giving you a soft kiss, and another on the palms of her hands. You swear you saw Neytiri jump a little in happiness, her tail wagging from side to side and the smile on her face was beautiful. You lay back on the comfortable bed and closed your eyes. You had to rest, otherwise you were going to die of madness.

"Ok, but you have to cut it like this" jake was with lo'ak. The man had decided to go looking for his son after the argument he had with you. Inviting him to go fishing, obviously this was a strange thing for lo'ak to do. But spending the afternoon with his father was making him very happy. Lo'ak was cleaning the fish as jake told him to, looking carefully at the instructions. "And what do I do with this?" lo'ak points with disgust, at the fish's stomach. "Remove it…that's disgusting" jake mimics lo'ak's wince as they both laughed. It was a very nice moment for both of them, jake had to admit that he had missed a lot of moments with lo'ak. While lo'ak and jake were busy, kiri, neteyam and tuk were sitting somewhere in the corner of the marui talking and playing with each other. When they noticed how their mother came in with a happiness. "I have good news," said neytiri.

"How is mom!!!" lo'ak gets up quickly, running to neytiri. "she's fine…but" neytiri pauses, walking over to jake to sit next to him. "What's wrong, she's supposed to just be sick at her stomach" jake says. The last he heard from you, neteyam had taken you to see ronal. And that you had a lot of stomach pain. "It's not a bad thing…come here everybody, come on!" neytiri makes the signal for everyone in the family to come over. Everyone sits around, neytiri looked so excited. "This is so big for this family… Y/N is expecting a baby" neytiri sounds the news, jake gets so excited he hugs neytiri right away. "No way!!!" shouts kiri hugging tuk and the little girl was already very excited. "Another sully to the family" says neteyam, excited. But apparently the news had not gone down well with everyone, "WHAT?" Lo'ak literally screams, capturing her parents' attention. "Lo'ak what's wrong?" neytiri is now confused, this is supposed to be a big surprise.

"Why is mom going to have a baby? She can't have one!!!" Lo'ak was getting a little upset. This was a jealous reaction, and neytiri and jake could tell. "hey lo'ak I need you to calm down" jake tries to calm him down. But the boy stands up in annoyance, getting out of the marui. "Lo'ak needs to stop having tantrums, he's too old to be having these dramas" kiri says. Neytiri taps her knee, kiri complains. Everyone in the family knows how lo'ak was with you, everything that had to do with you affected lo'ak twice as much. Jake was about to get up and go talk to the boy. But he feels neteyam's hand stop him. "Dad…I'll talk to him" says neteyam. Jake looks quickly at neytiri, who signals him to let his brother go get him. Neteyam gets up from the ground and leaves the marui to look for his brother. It doesn't take him long to find him, he was relatively close. Lo'ak was sitting in the sand, he could tell he was crying.

"Little brother…you're jealous" says neteyam. Listening as lo'ak whined. "What do you want you idiot!!!" lo'ak grudgingly replies to neteyam. But neteyam ignores him, laughing and sitting down next to him. "I know you must be feeling jealous," says neteyam. Lo'ak rolls his eyes in white. He didn't want to be messing around with neteyam, sometimes he could be very annoying. "You know…when you were born I felt a little jealous, but when tuk was born I must admit I couldn't help but feel very jealous. Our moms were with her all the time and didn't pay attention to us. " said neteyam. "Yes, but my mom has always paid attention to me" lo'ak says sounding a bit smug. Neteyam laughs, he had to admit that his little brother looked adorable. "And she's always going to love you, I'm the big brother. And having to share everything…but the love mama has for you is special and no one will ever change it," Neteyam speaks. Lo'ak is silent, neteyam stands up and taps his brother on the shoulder. Stepping away to let him think for a moment.

That same afternoon…

You were already up, and it was getting dark. You had to admit that you were pretty bored. Ronal was taking longer than usual. You wanted to be home, you felt a little better. And now that you knew you were sick and the pregnancy symptoms were making it worse, you felt somewhat reassured. Although the news of your pregnancy was not something you were very happy about. Sure, you were happy to have a baby. You had waited for this opportunity for so long, but it had to happen right now. Just now when the situation with lo'ak was very active.

You were so wrapped up in your own thoughts, that you didn't notice when Ronal entered the marui. The woman can see that you were a bit lost. "The news of the baby surprises you, doesn't it? Because it does to me," says Ronal, putting some things she brought to refill. You look at her a little startled, and became a little alert at the tone of Ronal's voice. You weren't friends, and ronal tolerated you and treated you well because tonowari told her to. "Yes…it's a surprise," you say. Trying not to sound awkward. "It seems kind of unreal to me…that one" Ronal scans you up and down. "Human is pregnant, I have doubts even with your supposed child" ronal speaks, she could be quite direct. She didn't mind hurting other people's feelings. "Excuse me?" you get more comfortable in your bed. "Don't take this the wrong way…but it's weird" ronal chuckles a little. You decide to ignore her, you didn't want to argue because you still felt a little bad.

Ronal prepared more medicine for you to take in the next few days. Supposedly some food had made you sick. After several days you are supposed to be left with only the symptoms of pregnancy. She might be a little mean, but she wouldn't hurt you. You get up carefully, leaving Marui. Ronal all this time had been making uncalled for comments about you and your child. But at no time did you want to answer him, you didn't want to cause trouble. "Hey by the way" Ronal starts talking. You stop, and look back.

"I heard you wanted to go back to the jungle…and you know what" Ronal laughs again to herself. You didn't understand what you had done to this woman, but she seemed to hate you. "I think it would be best for your family. Even for that child…lo'ak. When you weren't here, we barely heard the sully. And as far as I can see all you've done is mess everything up around here," Ronal says, turning to continue working. You sigh, you weren't going to give her the pleasure of her seeing you cry, getting out of that marui as fast as you could. Back to the familiar marui, you couldn't help but get Ronal's words out of your head, maybe she was right. Maybe they were better off without you. And now you had one more problem.

P.s The reason I wrote that the reader was pregnant is that the original request asked for two children. Lo'ak and the baby on the way. Second, the reader is still upset with jake, but I wanted to fix things up a bit. Because I want it to focus more on the relationship between lo'ak and his mom.

Tag: @baybaybear1@hoodiepandaninja16@teyyyteyyy@anika-rose-walker@victoria2054@raviolisblog@jessi-dan@neteyams-wh0re@jimfiqs@bitchykittenconnoisseur@chershire23@holynightnacho@danilezilla@thepotatoislost @esposadomd @ratchetprime211 @juneonhoth

[brokengem]

Anon Darling asked: Hi! I’m really touched to be called the LeoJackVil anon! And I wanted to say I love both versions so so much. ( Also sorry I was super busy! ). Like I can see Vil stress eat because of his work/responsibilities. And him feeling ashamed about it because he thinks it’s a sign of weakness ( when honestly he’s just human). But I love Vil just enjoying himself with his lovers’ cooking. Sure there’s a bit of conflict, but it’s more of an act of healing/ love. Vil slowly healing from his body image issues is <3

Right! Both these takes are just so valid and good. I like to think given Vil's work he can just fall into stress eating so quickly, especially considering ch5 events (granted I still haven't finished the Pomefiore chapter, think I'm on ch 31/32 atm but from what I've been spoiled on) Vil falling back to stress eating so that he's not making an attempt of someone's life again makes sense, you know?

When Neige claims another role that Vil was trying so hard to get, he just come homes and vents his frustrations through stuffing his face, cause he really can't be making an attempt on Neige's life again so his anger has to go somewhere. But as he grows(in all ways) it just helps him heal and accepts himself more over time. ESPECIALLY with his boys there trying to help him through everything. This scenario just has so much sweet hurt/comfort-ness that I love.

Then! Vil enjoying the boys cooking is that sweetness we all deserves. Less angsty by far, but still has the conflict Vil would be dealing with since his image has something he's worked on for years and years and how could he just let that go? But the boys cooking is just to good and you just know that they'd feed him. I like to think Leona starts that trend XD. He makes something that he knows it good and Vil won't shut up about all the reasons why he shouldn't eat it and so Leona shoves the fork into his mouth to shut up and make him taste it. Jack just watches in horror on the ready in case Vil tries to kill Leona, but Vil just melts at all the delicious flavors in his mouth. [Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@heartsfate/a/110295702503916228)

cw weight gain

[the-fab-fox]

Let's see

ADeuce - basic ship (love it). As basic as it gets.

Trey x Jade - should be basic af with their interactions but some people have been like 'now that's an interesting ship' and I'm like... Isn't it like Jade's most popular ship??? XD

Kalim x Azul - I can dig it but the only digging Jamil is gonna be doing in regards to these two is gay up digging Azul a grave.

Floyd x Che'nya - okay op. As an avid rare pair writer who is ALWAYS trying to find rare ships that have purple going no way this could work and then I prove I can make it work every time (my reader's words, not mine 🤣), I am absolutely ASHAMED to admit that I have never considered Floyd and Che'nya but OMG op. You are so freaking right for this and I'm definitely adding this ship to my list of ships to write for later. But can I see your Che'nya x Floyd and raise you Che'nya x Idia? 👀 Have you considered? And what if we take that one step even further? Che'nya x Idia x Floyd. Could. You. Imagine. Op? Could you? Because oh the ideas coming up me rn. Hehehe. Okay moving on)

Deuce x Epel - aside from ADeuce and Jack and Epel, this is basic. (Not bad, just basic lol.)

Leona x Vil - perfection, no comments. (That said, op, have you heard of @mellosdrawings N2 squad [aka always number 2 squad]? Whether you take it platonically or romantically (always romance for me though lol), it's such a fun dynamic. Oh. Would help to mention the ship characters. Leona x Jamil x Vil.

RookVil - basic and based af. Show stopping, brilliant, perfect and hilarious. No comments. Just love.

Malleus x Idia - same. But have you also considered Malleus x Rollo x Idia (or even Malleus x Rollo x Idia x Azul? Lol. No? Well, be glad you're not in my brain cause that one is something else. So much drama snark and chaos in one polycule. Gotta love it.)

Kalim x Ruggie - honestly. Somehow never really considered but am ashamed. This will also be added to my ships to write in the future.

And lastly Kalim x Silver. Yes. Total yes. (Haha but what if I told you in my first twst series I made Kalim x Sebek a bg ship and people loved them so much I basically had to decide to write a prequel fic for them since so many wanted to know how they got together. It's super cute. Hehe.)

Okay! I did not peak and I'm pretty sure I got them all right. But ye. This was super fun actually but don't feel obligated to reply. I was just enjoying myself with guessing and then commenting on each of them lol

hey guess my twst ships 🤗

i'm sane

also don't look at the tags it's CHEATING 👹 /J

[jflashandclash]

Tales From Mount Othrys

Luke: Big Boy Conversations II

           They couldn’t meet up until the sun was setting. As usual, things around camp got in the way: settling fights that broke out, making sure the mortal cleaning staff didn’t go on strike with all the monster ooze, getting Helios and Morpheus to stop playing matchmaker. This last one was particularly difficult. The former sun driver believed he could still see all things and knew what was best for people and Morpheus could subliminally message potential matches in their dreams.

         Very annoying.

         By the time the centaurs dropped Axel, Luke, and Jack on the cliff’s edge with a cooler full of drinks and snacks, the stars had risen into the sky.

         Luke handed the centaurs a six-pack of low-alcohol beer to appease them and make sure they didn’t get too drunk. Riding with an intoxicated mount? A terrible idea. As soon as the centaurs found out that half-bloods could buy alcohol for them, Luke and Jack had to set regulations about RWI. Riding While Intoxicated.

         Axel wasted no time. He took a water bottle from the cooler, sat down on the edge of the cliff, criss-crossed his legs, and closed his eyes.

         Jack twitched. As happy as he was that Luke agreed to work on his mental health with Axel’s help, Jack couldn’t sit still for meditation. To keep himself from distracting his friends, he would hum, sing, or play an instrument. Tonight, he’d brought a sitar.

         Luke was disappointed to see Axel immediately go into meditation mode. He wanted to talk to these two about something. “I’m not going to be able to focus today,” Luke decided.

         Axel cracked an eye open. Up here, he never looked at Luke with fear or suspicion. Probably because he could shove me over the cliff faster than I could say, “Zeus sucks.”

         “Your life would be a lot easier if you could get along with Alabaster,” Axel said, as always, a little too on the mark. “Though, his hatred does have some merit. Keeps you on your toes during training.”

         Jack snorted, strumming a calming tune on his sitar.

         That was why Luke started meditation in the first place. Luke had hit Alabaster. Not during training and not at a time that Alabaster felt he could hit back. Luke hadn’t meant to. He hadn’t remembered doing it until he saw the welt forming on Alabaster’s cheek a day later.

         Luke wondered how many of his troops he’d hit in a blind rage. When Luke expressed this to Jack, scared he’d hit Jack, Jack had suggested talking to Axel. Apparently, Axel’s biological father thought Axel had anger management issues. Despite Axel’s resentment when discussing his father, it was obvious he liked the meditation.

         “I’m tired of him saying my plan won’t work. He doesn’t know Thalia and he doesn’t know Annabeth. Neither of them will fail us,” Luke said. Instead of joining Axel in his criss-crossed stance, Luke picked two beers out of the cooler. He offered one to Axel.

         Axel shook his head. He stretched his legs out in front of him and dangled them over the edge. After a moment of fishing around in his pockets, he withdrew a cigarette and lighter. “I don’t drink,” said the fifteen-year-old as he cupped his hand over the cigarette to light it.

         Jack paused his strumming. He held the sitar by the neck so he could fold his arms. “Where did you get those and who started you on them?” He reached to grab the cigarette from Axel’s lips.

         Axel swatted his hand away, a dangerous game so close to the edge. “The convenience store. Santiago. Buzz off.”

         Santiago was Axel’s blood father. That ended the conversation. Jack withdrew his hand and returned to strumming. Now, the tune was sadder. ‘Think of what those will do to your vocal cords,” Jack said.

         “Didn’t you want me to be the raspy background singer?” Axel said. He glared at his “dad” and blew a puff of smoke straight at him. The wind whipped it up the coast, twisting the swirls away before they reached the son of Apollo.

         Luke frowned, thinking of what little he knew of Axel and Pax’s biological father. A month ago, when the boys were joking around in the upstairs pools, someone—Matthias?—commented how cool it was that Axel and Pax already had tattoos: Mayan hieroglyphs that peaked out at their hips. When asked how their parents had been cool with it, Axel left without a word.

         Twenty minutes later, Alabaster and Pax ran to grab Jack, saying Axel had peeled off his tattooed skin with a hunting knife. Jack had panicked to Luke that one of his boys had hurt himself. When asked, Pax would only say that the tattoo reminded Axel of his biological father.

         Luke shook off the memory, focusing on the conversation at hand.

         Once Axel was sure that Jack wouldn’t comment on the cigarettes again, Axel turned his attention back to Luke. “It’s good to have people that are willing to point out potential problems in a plan,” Axel said with a shrug. The Witch Boy. Right.

         Luke downed half his bottle. He sat beside Axel on the ledge, scowling off. He admired the fact that Alabaster was willing to criticize anyone, including the Titan Lord. That pissed him off even more. “It’s not hard for Alabaster to be ballsy about it. A third of the army is related to him. And that trust-fund bastard owns half the ship. He knows he’s untouchable.”

         Meanwhile, Luke had… what? Friends who didn’t believe he was doing this to help them? That didn’t know what was the best for them? A mother driven to insanity by his asshole of a father, neither of which could or would do anything for him. His mother had barely been able to give him a blessing for… for what he had to do.

         Besides, with his money and his relation, it didn’t matter how Alabaster acted. He could be the creep that lurks in the lab and no one would notice or care. Monsters, gods, and demigods alike were watching Luke, looking for a weakness, for something to mark him as unworthy.

         You are unworthy.

         Luke shuddered.

         Then, why didn’t Kronos pick someone else?

         He shook off the thought, trying to keep calm. He took another long swing, tossed his beer bottle to the side, and grabbed the one he’d pulled for Axel. They would get to that, to what he really wanted to talk to them about. For now, he wanted to pretend they were just hanging out. Had he ever had that with friends? Been able to hang out when he wasn’t on the run for his life?

         Or sanity, that voice cooed.

         “And then he talks about Thalia like he knows her,” Luke said, remembering where they’d left off. Alabaster being an asshole. Right.

         Luke’s hesitation hadn’t gone unnoticed. Axel narrowed his golden eyes. Jack played a few tense cords. “He thinks the plan with Thalia will fail,” Luke continued, like he didn’t sense their concern. “But, Thalia, she’s strong. After all her Dad put her through—put us through—she’ll see the way. I’ll bet she’s just biding her time to convince Annabeth. Annabeth was fed their lies for years, so she’ll need some persuading. She’s so stubborn.”

         He laughed, thinking about the bounce of her curls. As Axel tapped some ashes into the whipping wind, Luke shoved Axel’s shoulder. “What about you? What girl is keeping you from exploring the beauties we have here?”

         Jack had been whining for weeks that Axel didn’t have interest in anyone. Although Pax was silent around Luke, apparently the little brother was the opposite, babbling about the awesome and gorgeous demigods and creatures aboard the ship.

         Axel shrugged and frowned slightly. His gold eyes drifted off to the distance. Out on the water, they could see the bright lights of their cruise ship, docked offshore.

         “You spend a lot of time with Mercedes,” Jack said lightly behind him.

         Axel cracked his neck. His expression went blank. “The only mistress Mercedes has time for is her spymaster project. Her eyes are only on Ajax and me because we’re useful.”

         Jack made an indignant snort over the sound of his sitar. “That’s not enough for my boy—”

         Luke reached backwards to slap Jack’s foot. If Jack wanted the Pax brothers to open up to him as a friend, he had to stop the dad talks.

         “I doubt that,” Luke said. “Though, hard to say with that girl. She’s such a stiff.”

         Axel covered a smile by taking a drag on his cigarette.

         Despite the number of times Pax swore to others that Mercedes was a prankster with an evil sense of humor, Luke had only seen her strict, curt, dry, and tense. She’d spent the last few months rubbing it in Luke’s face how badly they needed a spy unit in New Rome and how shitty their defenses were against enemy spies. Humor or no, she was proving her worth. Though, Flynn would be livid if Axel became a spy instead of a member of the Assault and Battery Unit. Assuming Axel had time to be part of anything with Jack’s crazy projects keeping him busy.

         Luke blinked, realizing how popular this kid had become.  

         “Come on, man. You’re really good with the girls. Even Ethel likes you. And that prickly Echinda doesn’t like anyone,” Luke said.

         The smile vanished from Axel’s face. “It’s because I meet her on her terms. You can’t rush her. She’s… she’s still recovering. You gotta let her decide how close she wants to stand and you gotta remember not to block her exit from the room.” Axel pulled his knees up and leaned his chin against them. “That miscarriage was insult to injury for her. And don’t even get me started on separating her from Charlie. Child of the Big Three or not, Charlie is five.  The kid should keep using the Hyperborean giants as a jungle gym, not being prepped to replace Thalia and Percy if they fail.”

         Luke gritted his teeth. He didn’t know Charlie, the daughter of Zeus, had been told she could be the child of the prophecy. He wondered if that was Alabaster’s work or one of the other Titans.

         “You seem to know a lot about how to work with people like Ethel,” Luke said carefully.

         Axel puffed up his cheeks and popped them. The smoldering on his cigarette had burned down to the filter. Casually, as though he was going to press the butt into the ground, he lowered his hand, then pressed the hot tip under his shirt, into his hip and the scar tissue of the former tattoo.

         Axel didn’t even flinch.

         Between Jack and Axel, Luke wondered what it said about him if he preferred to befriend crazy people.

         Jack must not have noticed Axel’s movement. He continued to play his sitar, adding a soft hum into the breeze.

         Axel released the cigarette and hugged his legs tightly. “It’s hard for me to accept that the women around me aren’t being paid or threatened to enjoy my company, or that they don’t want something from me,” he muttered, “I don’t like to talk about it.”

         The music stopped again.

         Luke frowned. Why can’t we have a normal talk about hot chicks? He didn’t even want to think about what had happened to Axel and Pax to give Axel that impression.

         Jack hopped down beside Axel, keeping his legs as far from the cliff’s edge as possible while also sitting beside him. He slipped an arm around Axel’s shoulders in a comforting gesture. Luke expected him to say some meaningless dad cliché. Instead, Jack said, “Luke, you should show him that picture Silena gave you of Thalia and Annabeth.”

         A grin twitched back onto Luke’s lips. He could tell Jack the same stories about Thalia and Annabeth every night for a month and Jack’s eyes would still light up with delight. That’s what they often did at the Monster Mash bar, to the point where the bartender, Dean, got tired of them and would kick them out.

         Luke fumbled for the photo he’d kept in his wallet for the last few months, since Thalia returned to camp. He had to make a copy to keep in his room, because this one’s edges were so crumbled.

         The picture was at Camp Half-Blood, outside Cabin One. Thalia looked confused at the photographer. She still wasn’t used to the idea of a camera phone. Annabeth looked so happy.

         “It’s weird to see Thalia look so young,” Luke said, grinning, “I kept thinking she’d come back looking older. She’s actually nineteen, I think.”

         For a panicked moment, Luke couldn’t remember how many years had passed. The times he’d displeased Kronos, when the Titan Lord showed him centuries of pain during moments of sleep, time stopped having meaning.

         “She’s cute,” Axel admitted, staring down at the picture. His brow furrowed. “She’s my age. And Annabeth…”

“She’s growing into a beautiful girl. Give her a few years.” Luke couldn’t wait to tease her about it, imagining the way she’d scrunch up her face, all annoyed and adorable and fierce. “We just need to remind her that the world needs to be rebuilt, and she can rebuild it to fit her wildest dreams. We’re going to be in high demand for a good architect. Then, she’ll be happy. That’s all I want.”

Axel’s tone was careful when he said, “She looks closer to Ajax’s age.”

         “She’s older than Pax,” Luke said. He struggled to remember their ages. Pax looked so young and Annabeth looked older than she was.

         “By what, a year?” Axel snorted.

         “She’s mature for her age,” Luke snapped. Why did Luke feel so defensive? Awhile ago, he’d stopped referring to Annabeth as a little sister, but she was still young, right?

“Annabeth is Luke’s little sister,” Jack chided Axel, like he’d read Luke’s mind. Jack ruffled Axel’s hair.

Axel slapped away Jack’s hand.

         She was like a little sister, right? Luke just wanted to make a world that she would like and to protect her. He could never think of Annabeth like that with Thalia around. Weirdly, he guessed it was how Flynn felt with the Pax brothers. She may have had whomever she wanted, but, with Jack around, she would never want or need to think of Axel and Pax as anything more than their obnoxious children.

         “I’ll bet Thalia and Annabeth wouldn’t approve of how you’re getting information from Silena,” Axel said.

         Luke shrugged, folding up the photograph. “We need a spy. It’s hard to trust her though. I mean, she’s a daughter of Aphrodite. She must know I’m not in love with her. I’ve never said I was. And she’s beautiful and a camp counselor; she can’t be that deprived of attention that she needs it from me.”

         Luke frowned, remembering how Silena was thrilled with the dove broach Beckendorf had made her. She had unabashed talked about it when he’d found it fumbling with her clothing.

Luke refused to feel guilty. He wasn’t the one cheating a new crush. He wasn’t the one cheating his camp. All he could assume was that Silena really wanted the Olympians to burn, but she didn’t have the heart to leave the camp. She’d heard the stories about him poisoning Percy and about poisoning Thalia’s tree. He’d never denied them. She was the one choosing to ignore them.

         Axel stretched out his legs, straightening them completely over the cliff’s edge to show off the animalistic arch to his calves. He cracked his neck to one side. “Hey… Luke, Jack.”

         Both boys perked up.

         The wind whipped Luke’s face harshly. He thought he could hear someone shouting aboard the boat, their voices carried up with the breeze. Axel waited long enough that Luke could count enough stars in Centaur constellation to get angry at Chiron.

         “Someone who slays the Ophiotaurus… if they have the power to destroy the gods, wouldn’t they have the power to take out the Titans too?” Axel asked slowly.

         That was a dangerous question.

         They remained silent as they inhaled the salty air. Luke tossed his empty bottle to the other one. He fished into the cooler for a third, wondering if it would be unwise to speculate.  

         Axel couldn’t pledge his soul to Kronos. He wasn’t Greek. That made Kronos think he was untrustworthy. It made Axel one of the few people Luke felt like he could trust. But, what if Kronos mucked through Luke’s memories? Could he? How pathetic was Luke if he feared speaking against Kronos when Kronos wasn’t around?

         Luke bit his lip. He wondered if he could have handled criticism from other people, like Alabaster, before Kronos poisoned his thoughts. He’d handled criticism fine from Thalia and Annabeth and even Chiron before all of this. Was that pride his? Or Kronos’?

         Queasiness warned him not to take another sip of his beer. I’ve only had two, he scolded himself. The sense of helplessness made him gulp until his head felt light.

         “Luke?” Jack asked slowly.

         Axel and Jack were waiting for an answer, like Luke knew everything about the universe. He didn’t. He didn’t know anything without Kronos. He was just some pawn piece abandoned by his father and his friends. Kronos’ puppet, Alabaster had said, only worthy of Hermes’ attention when you’ve become a threat during your temper tantrum.

         Thalia will join, he told himself to shake off the nausea. She’ll join, and she’ll help you remember who you are. We can fight this war together, even if that means fighting the Titans later.

         “Hey… guys…” Luke said. It was something that had been on his mind, lurking in the background when Kronos wasn’t around, something he’d wanted to bring up but... he’d been too scared. With the light buzz in his head and the way his chin wanted to droop, he found some courage. “If Kronos erases me, if I try to hurt Thalia or Annabeth, will you kill what’s left of me so I can’t hurt them?”

         “Luke!” Jack squeaked. His voice sounded near tears. “You—you saved me. You gave me a world where I wasn’t just confused—”

         Luke was about to force a laugh, to change the subject like he’d been joking. His lip began to bleed where he bit it. He should have known Jack was too soft to handle the thought, let alone the action.

         A hand clamped over Luke’s shoulder. He glanced into Axel’s golden eyes. Axel’s other hand had clamped over Jack’s mouth, shutting him up.

         “I will,” Axel said. His gaze was steady. “I would hope you’d do the same for me if I ever hurt my family.” He swallowed. “The family I choose.”

         This time, it was Jack’s turn to slap Axel’s hand away. “Axel Jackson Pax!”

         That wasn’t Axel’s real middle name, or Luke certainly hoped it wasn’t. When the Pax brothers refused to give their middle names, Mercedes had supplied them with that, her face stern as usual. Luke wondered if that was a custom in… where was she from? Morocco? To take the father’s name as the middle?

         Whatever it was, Jack loved it and decided the two Hispanic boys really had the middle name of Jackson.

         “You lay a finger on Luke and you’ll have the worst case of chicken po—”

         Luke was happy Jack’s shrieks would cover his response. He gripped the hand Axel had on his shoulder. “Thank you,” Luke said.

         Axel nodded and released him, looking uncomfortable with the display of gratitude. Luke could guess why. He had just said thank you for offering to kill him. Probably not a common topic amongst friends.[1]

         “And you won’t be able to walk with the spinal meningitis—”

         “Jack, you could never intentionally make someone sick,” Axel teased. “You’re always panicking about doing it on accident.”

         Those words silenced Jack. Luke wondered if Axel thought it was a rumor that Jack had killed his whole family with a song.

         Luke stretched so he could casually lean forward to check on his friend. The redhead toyed with his bracelet: a braided electric base string. His brilliant eyes held that distant glint, the one he got when he forgot to take his medicine. Flynn and Phil had been pretending Jack didn’t need his medicine anymore. Luke struggled with the fact that they were lying to him.

         Jack wasn’t like his mom. The medicine did help, right?

         Pushing the old anxiety out of his head—he didn’t need to worry about Jack on his day off—Luke leaned back, taking another swig of his bottle. He couldn’t really taste it. Since Kronos had infiltrated his thoughts, simple pleasures like eating and drinking seemed to deteriorate. One day, there will be nothing left.

         “What did you really bring us out to talk about?” Axel asked, folding his legs criss-cross style again. “Since you’re clearly so interested in breathing exercises.”

         Luke wanted to say it was girls: Thalia, Annabeth, Flynn, and whomever had stolen Axel’s heart. It wasn’t.

         His heart rebelled against his mouth. They needed to have this talk. Somehow, it was harder than asking them to kill him. He took another gulp of beer, feel the carbonation fuzz against his tongue.

         “In order to…” his words failed him. He didn’t want to think about what would happen if Thalia failed them or if they couldn’t capture the Ophiotaurus. He didn’t want to admit that this was one more thing Kronos was making him do, another thing he had no control over. “I need to get the Curse of Achilles,” he said finally.

         Neither boy spoke, waiting for Luke to elaborate.

         When Luke took his time to inhale the dulled scent of salt water, Jack whispered, “Aren’t curses usually to be avoided?”

         Luke wanted to laugh hysterically, but knew that would worry Jack. “To get it, I need to go to Hades,” he said in response.

         “I hear you’re not exactly popular there,” Axel said.

         Luke nodded. “And I need to bath in the River Styx. I want people I can trust to go down with me, some of the best fighters and best healers. However, I need Flynn here. She’s one of the only ones that can keep order. The Titans respect her.” Luke bit his lip, tasting the slight twang of blood. Sometimes, she’s respected more than me.

         Axel puffed up his cheeks and popped them. “I’ll have to find a way to convince Ajax to stay here.”

         Luke knew that would be a complication. The littlest Pax would die on a trip below. Jack pointed out the bigger problem.

         “I won’t be able to convince Flynn to let me go. And none of us can lie to her.” The redhead frowned. Jack couldn’t lie to Flynn by choice. The rest of them would have the truth forced out of them under her melodious wrath. If Luke really wanted Jack along, they would need to kidnap Jack without prepping him, claim it was Kronos’ idea, and accept any punishment she’d unleash upon them after they returned.

         “How soon do we need to go?” Jack asked.

         Luke forced himself to stop biting his lip. “Before I take Atlas’ burden.”

         What if they say no? Luke trembled at the thought. He could order them, but he wanted them to come of their own volition. They were his friends, right? Or are they only your friends because you’re Kronos’ puppet?

         Axel laughed.

         Luke balked, glaring.

         The youngest of the three clutched his stomach. “Alright, alright, right, Jack?”

         Jack joined in on the crazed revelry. “What else are legendary heroes for? And you’ll definitely need a bard to lighten the soul when you go somewhere so gloomy.”

         Luke wondered, for a second, if this was a surprise attack from children of Dionysus. They were agreeing to go through laughter?

         Axel patted Luke’s back again. “You’re a demanding guy. It’s not every day I have a friend ask me to kill them, then follow that by asking me to go to Hell and back for them.”

         A bitter smile slid onto Luke’s lips. “It’s good to keep my troops on their toes. Prepares you for anything.”

         All of them laughed.

         “I have one request,” Jack said. His voice shook with repressed chuckles.

         The other two settled down to listen.

         “Next time we come up here, let’s just talk about girls. We can invent a really hot one for Axel to fancy. It’ll make Lou Ellen and the other girls all jealous when the rumors spread.”

         Luke loved that idea: not just that they could torment the girls crushing on Axel, but that he’d be himself again soon, able to differentiate Kronos’ thoughts from his own. That these days won’t become less and less frequent. That what makes me me won’t dissolve. He tried to force the worry out of his head as he, Jack, and Axel flopped back onto the ground to stargaze.  

Thalia will join, Luke thought. She and Annabeth will see that it’s better to start the world anew, to make a beautiful place where we can all be happy without living under the massive shadow of Olympus.

         Staring out into the brilliant constellations, Luke thought, My friends won’t abandon me again and together we’ll make an unstoppable team.

 ***

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Stay tuned in two weeks for a little novella where Pax and Lou Ellen show why you can’t leave younger siblings unattended.

(Sorry for all the breaks between shorts! Thank you for all of your support throughout my pauses. <3 It really helps to keep me going!)

  [1] False. Author Jack and friends had frequent conversations about who would be willing to murder whom in the event of a zombie apocalypse or entrapped starvation. Author Jack is gangly and would not be good pickings for cannibalism, but would also likely starve first, so frequently oscillates in line for cannibalistic choices.  

[halfusek]

Hi :) I have a few questions about Abomination (which I just reread for the fourth time. Yes, I'm nuts ;) Forgive me if you've already been asked them, but looking through your answers I couldn't find any of my own ^^.

1-Why kill Jack in the first story? I mean, Norman wanted answers and started poking around, right. But not Jack?

2- It's dreams and hallucinations that Joey suffers from? He doesn't really talk to Bertum or the corpses of those he killed? He's intoxicated by the ink, isn't he? And Sammy too, then, or is it just regret that makes him see Jack's ghost?

3-Why does Sammy help Joey kill? I mean, I get that Joey's intoxicated by ink and has anger management issues.  But Sammy?

4-Why remake the whole Studio Story with toons? To make perfect toons and get the process right? Or eventually free all the souls that are cursed and come back to the Studio when the former employees die?

5- Is it on purpose that Sammy looks like Henry? Like Joey replaced him? Is Sammy in love with Joey?

6- It's story Joey commits suicide at the end, right?

Squich is really adorable in this one, and I love your Bertum ;). Ah, and Sammy with the loose hair is really, really beautiful. And Joey... He's my favourite. You've really made a wonderful ambivalent character, who we're ashamed to love because we know he's bad, but we love him anyway when we see how capable he is of hurting himself... Bravo ! I can't wait to read the end, even if I'll miss him once the story is over.

Thanks you for this wonderdul comic!

Woah the fact that there are people out there rereading it multiple times is so cool and means a lot :D

1. He was just a sacrifice, one of the first ones, so definitely not a very successful one.

2. Actually, all of those things aren't hallucinations :)

As you pointed out Sammy is also seeing Jack, in the same way that Joey did, now why would they see the same hallucinations? Oh, no, no, they are being haunted

However, the characters don't have to know it, Joey is more in denial about it, looks for reasons to see them in his poor mental state, so his own impression is balancing between hallucinations and something that's actually happening but that's just his point of view - the truth is that those things are happening, for example Bertrum can actually hit Joey (to his surprise)

Regret is in there though too, especially for Sammy :)

3. In the beginning there's a few characters that share this vision and are kind of blinded by it: mainly Joey but also Sammy and Susie. To follow this vision they are willing to make sacrifices, Susie of her own life and Sammy of someone else's (and then possibly his own at some point)

I know I never actually mention that in the comic because in the beginning I was kinda nyooming through what was going on and also I had trouble writing Sammy's character in general :P

4. Joey actually explains it when he meets with Hackenbush - to turn their lives into a better story while still following the rules of how the machine works and what he wanted to do with it, so yes creating the most perfect forms for everyone

But since they are cartoons and also kind of merging their consciousness with the toon ones and the ink, some "details" to their characters are lost in the process, resulting in even very exaggerated caricatures (for example Story!Joey is just straight up evil and mean and there's almost only negatives about him because those were the "main" qualities he expressed during his life)

5. No, I just accidentially designed them like that lmao

But honestly it works in a way so! Joey had nothing to do with how Sammy looks though

And yes you could say that they are in love with each other... gods know why

6. Yes. It was the plan for him to "go last" and since there was no one left, he had to do it himself. It could just be portrayed as a self sacrifice but I definitely wanted to give it a more tragic tone.

-

Thank you, Squish is truly the show stealer xD

My Betrum? Why thank you :D I really like his character and wanted to make him more included in the studio top 10 fucked up moments

And glad you like my Joey hahah he is a wreck

And I can't wait to work on the epilogue! Just had to focus on life stuff for a while but I think I should be able to work on it soon :)

Thank you for the wonderful ask! :D

[rennerator]

I wonder how they would do it! Probably would be like how Bobby and Jack appeared there in the last episode of Season 1, right? But, the thing is, would Cas and Dean "interact" there? It seems like, no. I wonder if maybe then it would have been a "tease" for Season 2, or something like that! But, if I am not mistaken, Berens has said that they would do the Season as having an "ending" without things "left in the open" or something like that. BUT, I LOOOOOOVE that Misha is, YET AGAIN, showing HOW MUCH he cares about Cas and wants RESOLUTION for his character!!!! I hope that the "fans" that were being AWFUL and DISGUSTING and HATING on Misha for "not WANTING" to be Cas anymore or for NOT CARING about Cas and the Show, ARE EATING THEIR WORDS NOW!!!!! Thank YOU MISHA, THANK YOU!!!! S2 Thank YOU for FIGHTING FOR CAS and for wanting GOOD and MEANINGFUL RESOLUTION for Cas!!!! I LOOOOOVE The Winchesters and I AM still SO SAD that we didn't get a Season 2 and onwards!!! But, again, they WANTED Cas THERE, and they would have made a little cameo with him, why couldn't they make a LITTLE NOD to him then in the Finale there, when they knew they wouldn't have Cas in it anymore? They didn't have Sam in it, BUT, they made SURE to have him been mention and have IMPORTANCE related to the plot of the show! I wish they could have put just a LITTLE nod to Cas there. Like I said before, it could have been just a dressing choice, a PHRASE CHOICE, a LITTLE PAINT IN THE WALL... I would EVEN take Baby's plate as a NOD to Cas, IF someone in it had brought attention to it! Anyways, I am rambling... I LOOOOOOOOVE that question there!!!! YES YEEEES YEEEES!!!!! Thank YOU SO SOOOO MUCH for asking that question there!!! And, THANK YOU MISHA, for that answer there!!! I gotta say, maybe I am just too naive and too trusting, but I do BELIEVE that they wanted to do more with Cas, maybe for the next seasons and all that... But, like I said before, it is just weird that they didn't try to just put a little nod/importance to Cas there even more knowing that it could have been the finale of the show... I have to be honest here, me as a fan of the show and a fan of Cas, I felt hurt and excluded there when there were mentions and nods to Jack, Bobby and Sam but NONE for Cas in the Season 1 Finale... Let's HOPE HERE for the anime sequel! \o/ XD I have to say, THIS MADE ME HAPPY!!!! Hearing Misha say ALL the things that WE, Misha and Cas fans having been saying ALL ALONG, IS a very good feeling!!! Again, I am hoping here that ALL of the "fans" that were dismissing Misha and being HORRIBLE to him and saying how he didn't want to be Cas anymore and didn't CARE about Cas or the fans are EATING THEIR WORDS now and being ASHAMED for HOW VILLE they were to him!!! Thank YOU SO SOOO MUCH for sharing this with us!!!! You are AMAZING!!!! :) <3 Also, I WROTE SOO MUCH but forgot to talk about HOW PERFECT that answer from Misha is!!! YES, MISHA, YEEEEEESSSS!!! I am ALSO on the train for Cas still being in The Empty and seeing him being RESCUED!!!! I would like Dean to rescue him? OF F* COURSE, but if "not possible", AT LEAST, let us have SOMEONE rescuing Cas there and it BEING SHOWN!!

The Winchesters were going to have Castiel on(they knew his popularity), but only for ratings and only for a one off moment while avoiding anything from before. They were gonna do to Cas what they did with the other characters from og spn, just have Cas on for a couple of scenes and say a few lines. Seems like Misha was like "naw" and went to Jensen letting him know if his show was gonna have Cas, they're not doing some cameo and avoiding canon moments from spn. Misha wasn't doing it that way and it seems Jensen agreed(had no choice, really) when Misha went to him about it. They talked that out and agreed more would be needed for Cas. As it should be.

[ultracreativelywritten]

What if TFP Starscream/Skycracker was the one that scolded Miko whenever she puts herself as well as Jack/Raf in danger... Remember that one time when Miko skipped detention using Bulkhead (who didn't want her to skip) and she got away with it?... How would Miko, Raf, Jack, June, Fowler and Autobots react to Skycracker (altering his voice, so he'll sound like Miko's mom) calling the school to give Miko some extra homework as punishment for skipping detention? 😅 Who would think it's funny? XD

June, Fowler and Ratchet would find it funny

bee and Raf would want to know how Skycracker did it

Jack would be afraid that Skycracker would use that on him

Optimus would tell Skycracker not to abuse his power

Bulkhead would feel ashamed

Miko would be mad

Acree would want to know if Skycracker could use this to their advantage in the war

[houndsharkk]

alright alright, do yall want my dreamSMP headcanons?? keep in mind that i only watch a few of them

/dsmp

Possible TW's: trauma, manipulation, death, suicide, overdose; the basic dreamSMP stuff, unfortunately.

ok here we go:

Dream - a separate entity from DreamXD, though they are related; perhaps XD is from another universe? anyways, Dream was possessed by a 'Dreamon' at a young age, making him think that things like manipulation are ok simply because he didn't know any better. he says he's trying to get better, but is he? no. this is just another trick to make Tommy think he can change. Jacob Sheep horns are slowly growing (sheep-hybrid thanks to his mother, Cpt. Puffy). Him becoming family with George and Sapnap made him realize that he can make his own family, an idea which he twisted and turned into manipulation. In his words, paraphrased, he "did a bad thing but for good reasons" which were "bringing the server together"; he wanted to be a family with him in control, a dictatorship, a hivemind.

Drista - Dream's sister, more related to XD than Dream is. somewhat OP but has morals unlike her brother.

George - Mooshroom hybrid!! Has a little mushroom crown and cape because he thinks of himself as royalty (he isn't) - has little horns and a little tail. Misses Dream the most out of the Dream Team, but somewhat afraid of him. Wants 'the old dream' back, which was partly a persona and partly Dream learning about found family. He tries not to get involved with politics or the server after the events of the first wars, because he's scared. Sleeps through things as an excuse. Awesamdude's kid - doesn't tell anyone.

Sapnap - Dragon hybrid - has small horns and a tail, with burn marks at the base of them. His hands and feet are clawed and burnt. He also wants their Dream back, but understands that he was always corrupt and has mostly gotten over it. Wants to help with the Egg but, like George, doesn't like getting involved with big things on the server. He's ashamed of his dragon heritage, covering up his head burns with a headband and covering his horns with his hair; he hides his tail under a cape and wears gloves as well. Sapnap has unnaturally orange eyes, which he would change with contacts, if they didn't melt anytime he tried. Battle-scarred and hungry to start fights and sever friendships out of boredom. Badboyhalo's child.

Callahan - Cervitaur (deer-centaur). Distantly related to Puffy, Captain Sparklez, and Schlatt. I will admit, I have never watched him, and I don't think he's ever been too involved in server politics? Just a simple deer man trying to live his life.

Awesamdude - Creeper centaur thing (he and Callahan are... cousins? i guess?). Incredibly insecure about his morality and the fact that George doesn't talk to him much. Thinks he's a bad person. He becomes a father figure to Tommy through his Sam Nook persona - slowly gaining his confidence back through his real estate and his (illegal) adoption of the gremlin. Badass. Runs the prison by himself because he feels the need to prove himself, and he doesn't know anyone that would be up to the job.

Alyssa - inactive :[ probably human

Ponk - Human!! One of the few humans on this server, actually! He quite likes building and terraforming; he makes very aesthetic builds (see; war campsite). He and Sam are close friends. Ponk is also a parental figure to Tommy, but is closer to the fun uncle. The three of them steal together and then Ponk and Sam cover for Tommy because who could accuse them of lying?? Hesitant to join in with politics.

BadBoyHalo - Demon. Very, very tall demon. Large. Pretty wholesome. I honestly don't know what else to say about him lmao I haven't been paying attention to the Egg much. He and Skeppy are a thing though. Wishes his son would stop killing people's pets to start wars.

TommyInnit - He doesn't know what kind of hybrid he his, but he isn't human. His eyes change color with mood, going from a light grey to an extremely vibrant cobalt blue. He believes he may be part raccoon, or part bird(?) on Philza's side. Phil wasn't around during his childhood; Tommy only knew him as the hero from the strories that his older brother Wilbur told him. Philza killing Villain!Bur cemented his heroship, which is why Tommy sees him as a father figure. Wilbur never told him that he (Phil) was their father. Tommy is actually part siren, but his gills and fins haven't appeared yet. His PTSD is triggered by Dream, blackstone, tnt, people asking for his armor, and a few other things. An extremely traumatized kid. Best friends with Tubbo.

Tubbo - Sheep hybrid. His horns started coming in during Schlatt's presidentship, making him think he was a goat and following in his footsteps. In reality, he's Captain Sparklez's son; related to Schlatt yes, but not at all like him. He likes headbutting the people he loves, including his best friend Tommy. Wholesome, but still a chaotic being of destruction. He and Ranboo are also very good friends!

Fundy - Fox shifter; unlike most of the other hybrids on this server (other than Techno), he can turn into an anthro fox. Canonically transgender! Son to WilburSoot and Sally the Salmon (another shifter). Wilbur was an amazing father while Fundy was small, but started neglecting him during the Presidency, when he really needed a father. The two grew apart further during Pogtopia, and Fundy still tries to refuse his father's attempts at redemption. Despite this, Fundy and Ghostbur, even though they've had arguments, have a better relationship. Fundy is even one of the people who are attempting to bring back Wilbur. He sees Phil as a somewhat father figure despite him trying to be bitter towards him. Very involved with L'manburg and DreamSMP poilitics, but has taken a step back since his dad's death. Fundy also canonically misses Schlatt and wants him to be proud of him. He picked up smoking from him.

Punz - gonna be honest, I have never watched Punz.

Purpled - Enderdragon hybrid. Like Sapnap, but purple lol. Use to have a healthy rivalry with Technoblade, but doesn't talk to him anymore. A bit reserved. I don't watch him either idk if you could tell.

Wilbur - Bird hybrid, like Philza; his wings were clipped by Dream when he first began fighting for independence. Good friends with Technoblade. Wilbur was an idealistic person, and he was probably the most loyal member of L'manburg. He was so upset about the betrayals, he thought of them not as betrayals to the country, but to himself. When Schlatt took over, he began to panic. His perfect nation was being ruined, his nation, HIS nation. He thought of it as his and his alone; all those other people? They were side characters. L'manburg his unfinished symphony wasn't his anymore. It scared him. He began planning to take the country out because, well, if he can't have him, then no one can. He manipulated Tommy, making him go along with his plan, slowly becoming more insane and destructive. Deep down, Wil still loved his family, and his country, and his lost lover, but that didn't matter to him anymore. After blowing up L'manburg (the first explosion), Wilbur broke down. He realized what he had done, he'd become a bad guy; he'd worked with Dream. He asked his father to kill him. And so Philza did.

Ghostbur - Wings work again. Ghostbur pretends not to remember, he pretends that he's changed in death, but he remembers all of it. The bad memories hurt him now, more than ever, and he just can't deal with it; so he doesn't. Water makes him melt, and that includes tears. He's trying so hard to be a good person, he's trying so hard to be a good father, a good brother, a good friend. But it isn't working. He's still, though unintentionally, hurting people, and he feels so bad about it.

Schlatt - Ram hybrid. Brother to Puffy and Jordan (Sparklez). Schlatt is a smoker and an alcoholic, and a power hungry dictator. Or well, that's the persona he puts on. Schlatt, in reality (still /dsmp) genuinely does not give a fuck. He didn't care what happened, because he knew that people disliked him. He knew for a fact that he would be killed. This is why I believe he offed himself. He planned his stroke, or heart attack, the fandom doesn't seem to know which. He probably ingested some bad protein powder or poison or something, maybe he drank himself to death, maybe he OD'd and then drank, we don't know. But it seems unlikely that someone like him would let his body give out like that without a reason. Oh yeah, and he and Quackity were married at some point, but it was too short to really mean anything.

Ghlatt - Ghlatt, though still addicted to alcohol and various drugs, feels bad about being a bad person in his life. He thinks that it's a good thing he died, that the server benefited from his death, and that he shouldn't have become a ghost. He's right, of course, but I like to think that he's regained morality. Maybe now, in the afterlife, he can work on himself. Ghlatt isn't strong enough to take a physical form, so he borrows Ghostbur's occasionally.

Skeppy - Some sort of Diamond Ore man?? I think he's human. He and BBH have a thing. I don't think I've ever watched a Skeppy DreamSMP stream. Uhh Egg?? Egg. Badlands boys woo.

Eret - Herobrine is his cousin. Like. Yeah. That Herobrine. Anyways, they're a king, and they're more of an Awesomedude morally grey type character. Her only interest is survival, and I respect that. I haven't really paid much attention to him though. Their crown has bi flag colored gems on it :]

Jack Manifold - Jack Manifol! Jack Manifall~~ Jack Manifall.. off bridge!! Jack Manidrown :} OH SHIT- (i dont watch him)

Niki - Human. Wears Wilbur's old coat. Though she did go through a tough spot after Wilbur's death, she now runs a flower shop with Puffy. Dyes her hair often. I don't watch her either.

Quackity - Duck hybrid; wings were clipped upon his joining the server. His face scar was canonized :] Alex genuinely liked Schlatt, but realized he was being mistreated so he joined Pogtopia. He felt bad about it though. I don't have many headcanons for him to be honest.

Mexican Dream - ok am i the only one that wasn't into this arc?? i didn't even watch any of it. i saw him like once and was like "oh this is just a bit" and left wtf. was he important???

Karl Jacobs - Time Traveler man; human. Karl is slowly losing his memory due to his travel between timelines. The more he does it, the more he loses. I look forward to seeing this progress. Are he, Sapnap, and uhhh someone else actually engaged?? I like that headcanons :] I don't remember who the other person is though.

HBomb - Cat maid.

Technoblade - Piglin shifter. Techno is softer than he seems, and he genuinely enjoys the company of Ranboo and his friend Philza. Technoblade met Phil after saving him from wither skeletons in the Nether, making short visits to the Overworld until he built up an immunity. He likes the cold because it's the opposite of his terrible home dimension. Techno really did want to help Tommy, but their ideals clashed too much for it to work out. Very destructive anarchist. Though, he is pretty chill nowadays.

Antfrost - Cat shifter. So I lied, there are three. Uhh wizard!! I like that HC!! Wizard catboy go brrrr. In reality, I don't watch the Badland Boys often and I haven't seen any of the Egg plot so idk what's up with him lol. I like to think that before the Egg, he and Fundy were friends.

Philza - Wings were beat up during the explosion; he tried to protect Wilbur with them, but still ended up failing. He's the father to Wilbur and Tommy, with Techno being an old friend of his. He canonically really likes cobblestone. Phil tries his best to be the dad, but his morals are all over the place. Lately, he's unofficially adopted Ranboo, helping him with his uh. Issues.

Connor - Human in a Sonic onesie idk i dont watch him

Puffy - Sheep Hybrid. Sister to Schlatt and Jordan, mother to Dream. I really don't know tbh; she's everyone's adoptive mom. She's what Philza and Awesamdude wish they could be.

Vikkstar - Human. Has he?? Done anything?? Ever??

Lazarbeam - Isn't he a gingerbread man or something.

Ranboo - Half Enderman Half [REDACTED]. I dont have headcanons for him tbh I just accept his canon. May be related to XD?

Foolish Gamers - A literal god. He can revive people, but it takes one of his lives. Uhhh he's really good at building what.

Hannahxxrose - I don't watch her :[ I should though

Slimecicle - CHARLIE SLIMECICLE. Slime hybrid obviously. New to the server, very scared [/j] and confused. Doesn't know what's going on and that's ok because he's funny I like him

I got really tired of this towards the end oops

[after-l1fe]

youseff nsfw alphabet if it’s cool with you :) thanks

Youseff x GN!MC Nsfw alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s tired after having sex with you (unless you two had morning sex) BUT he really loves and cares of you, so even if he’s about to pass out from lack of sleep he’ll make sure you’re resting comfortably after a bath and in new sheets.

You two were once taking a bath together and he just fell asleep on the bathtub by accident, don’t ever remind him of that he will blush and perhaps stutter a bit.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

He loves your thighs, he loves to kiss them and leave very light marks on them, that even if no one will see it, it’s his way of being possessive, they’re also what slowly bring him closer to more interesting zones.

He loves his eyes and their unusual grey color, he also thinks he’s good at hiding stuff but he really isn’t, just look at his eyes and you’ll know exactly how he feels.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He once drank a little bit and its common knowledge he gets a little bit to affectionate, and this only gets stronger with the person he loves the most, so one night he was starting things, you know getting undressed, kissing you, etc, only for him to fall asleep before the fun even started.

He was super ashamed next morning and couldn’t stop apologizing with you, he even bought you a little gift.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

As the oldest of the reapers he’s the one with most experience even when it comes to sex.

He has indeed had a partner before, and even got that far in the relationship. So yes, he does have experience.

Still the thing he has with you feels as a first, you’re so special and unique to him that it would be impossible to compare what he has with you with any other thing he has ever had with anyone.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary, he loves this one because he can look at your face and look at you in the eyes when he says ‘I love you’.

 G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s quite serious in the moment so no, no jokes or funny comments during sex

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He prefers to just trim the hairs and make sure it all looks good, a classy man this one.

He simply doesn’t like how shaving completely feels.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Super romantic! Won’t stop telling you how much he loves you and kiss you all over your face with the happiest look on his.

He would love to even place some candles and play music if you’re okay with that, if not he’ll just make sure to tell you how much he adores you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t really feel that horny most of the time so he doesn’t jack off, also its kind of hard to get a free moment so why would he waste those weird free moments pleasing himself when he can instead please both of you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He has no kinks, he’s a vanilla man.

But I think that if you tried or really wanted you could get him into a VERY light daddy kink or being a brat tamer, he already ‘tames’ most of the reapers so why not add a little fun into taming with YOU this time.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your or his room, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if one of the young reapers found you two doing anything, he’d feel awful for the rest of his life, so he isn’t going to be even deepen a kiss in public.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He loves to please you so whenever you ask him, he’s ready to go (meanwhile its somewhere private) so his motivation is basically to please you. He’ll normally start things himself if he sees you’re even a little tense or stressed out.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Harm you or be too rough with you (unless you directly ask him he won’t be rough at all) he prefers to keep things simple and he doesn’t see the need to be overly rough or do stuff that end up harming you even if it’s just a little.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Super good at giving oral, and this is partly because your private parts are next to your thighs and he loves those so yeah, it just kind of happens.

Super good at it, he’s very observant so he notices when you squirm slightly as he runs his tongue against a sensitive spot.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual, he’d hate to harm you, so he’d rather go slower and more sensual, also going like that allows him to be a bit more talkative and express his love for you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t like them, he prefers to take his time pleasing you and being more romantic which is kinda hard if you’re in a hurry.

 R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He doesn’t like to take risks in any sense, he won’t really try new stuff unless YOU tell him, and when it comes to do things in public that’s a big NO for him, what if one of the younger reapers finds you two?!

He likes being an example or role model and getting caught doing that stuff isn’t exactly correct…

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Sorry but he’s old XD

He doesn’t have that much stamina, afterall he is normally really tired due to being the ‘big brother’ of every reaper in the 14th branch, so he doesn’t have that much spare energy at the end of the day.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nope, he just doesn’t feel comfortable with them, he’d much rather please you by more ‘normal´ means he’d much rather do all the work himself.

He wouldn’t oppose to you having your own toys if you want to though.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Doesn’t like to tease you, he prefers to just tell you how he feels for you and express his love for you directly rather than say dirty things or even edge you.

Same as with toys though if you were to ask him to tease you a bit like dirty talk or overstimulation he wouldn’t mind.

 V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s relatively quiet aside from some grunts and a very, very little moan when he cums.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves to sit next to you and just look at the sky in peace, he also loves it when you rest your head on his lap and he can just run his fingers through your hair.

Loves morning sex, at that time he is yet to be exhausted from all the other soul reapers so he can go for longer time.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s quite average in every aspect aside from him being quite a bit longer than normal, which he is very proud of as he can easily reach all your sensitive spots.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not high at all, mainly due to hoow much stuff he does and how he is the ‘older brother’ to practicaly everyone and also he just doesn’t like to d it that often, doing it every now and then makes it feel more special.

 Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He falls asleep quite fast, after all he does get quite tired afterwards, but he never falls asleep before aftercare.

He loves to cuddle with you meanwhile you two fall asleep; he loves being the big spoon and just placing his arms around your waist and nuzzle your neck, it makes him feel at peace.

[enduringsea]

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet​ ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo  all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse  don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone  i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada  are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer 

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER... 

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

[ifsomeoneasksiwasnothere]

I have been summoned to ask you questions! (∩´∀`∩)💕 How would the pastas react to waking up one day, and finding out there the opposite gender? Like Jeff turns into a girl XD What would they do as well?

(Hey! Thanks for the question! Btw just a note: I’m making these like they changed sex, so they’d still be the gender that they identify as).

(I have no intent on offending nor harming the trans community so if anything here sounds offensive, please let me know and I’ll change it).

Would hide from everyone else, too scared, confused and ashamed of themselves.

Liu Hodek

Clockwork

Eyeless Jack

The Puppeteer

Emra Amelia

Jason the toymaker

Photography

The Rake

Would immediately try to find out how to turn back, ashamed of their body.

Jeff Hodek

Jane Richardson

Jane Arkensaw 

Zachary Gibson

Bloody Painter (Also, considering his past, he’d be especially angered).

Would immediately try to find out how to turn back, but wouldn’t be ashamed of their body.

Slenderman

Ben Drowned

Dr. Smiley

Kagekao

Judge Angels

They literally give 0 shits about their bodies and would just keep living normally.

Splendorman

Trenderman

Ticci Toby (Considering my headcanon that Toby is trans, he’d happy to have the sex of the gender he identifies as).

Laughing Jack 

Candy Pop

They’d probably masturbate.

Offenderman

Candy Pop

The X

Kagekao

[isa-ghost]

Corruption AU

*Galaxy brains*

Catch me tempted to start a whole AU based off my theory that Chase got corrupted at the end of Dark Silence and is living through slowly changing and growing sick and discovering freaky powers he didn’t have before and realizing this is what his comatose best friend went through before the August 3rd/March 5th operation was hijacked by Anti.

Oh god this might be a temporary muse but god am I about to blow it up real quick anyway. There’s details on it below the cut.

Henrik is the one who put Jack in the coma and regrets it deeply. Half-possessed by Anti in the moment he did it, he knew Jack would die unless he induced a coma to stabilize him easier than blindly trying to figure out how Anti his possessed self was killing him.

He wasn’t gone for 9 months but rather 2. In-game the time Jack flatlined was March 5th, 2018 and Henrik reappeared May 3rd, 2018. He has barely revealed any info about what happened in that time, but any time he’s opened up about it to the other egos, Jack’s comatose body, or in vlogs on the channel, he gets extremely anxious and can’t elaborate. He’s trying to coach himself into healing enough to tell the story so it won’t happen to others.

It wasn’t one big operation from August 3rd, 2017 to March 5th, 2018. Jack was in the hospital on and off suffering severe affects from Anti’s constant assaults on him. Anti hijacked the August 3rd operation and March 5th operations. He might’ve hijacked a few in-between but nowhere near the level of chaos and damage on those two days. (I haven’t decided yet lol).

Henrik saved Chase’s life after a suicide attempt soon after his divorce was filed (Bro Average) and is very protective of him, but stretches himself incredibly thin between caring for Jack, watching over Chase, and dealing with his own trauma.

Obviously Chase took over the channel for Jack in his place. The community is suspecting he’s him and not Jack slowly, which he’s somewhat worried about, but hasn’t seen any anger about it yet so he feels like it won’t be a big horrific reveal if he ever gives up the facade and comes clean. It was hard enough watching Henrik’s vlog announcing Jack’s coma.

Being that he’s running the channel in Jack’s place when that’s (one of many things?) what Anti wants to do in order to gain more power, Anti attacked him (Dark Silence) and this is how/why Chase is slowly suffering the slow corruption Jack did from October 2016 to now.

Chase blacked out for a very long time after Dark Silence but beelined for Henrik when he came to his senses. When he found Henrik, he started to grow unstable again and broke down about being cornered by Anti and not knowing what was happening to him now before completely snapping again. Henrik had to fend him off, restrain him, and then had a minor trauma-related meltdown because his best friend is going through what he did on August 3rd and March 5th. Little does he know, this is going to progress far beyond just two one-off traumatic possessions and a two month kidnapping.

Anti lurks around constantly in between times harassing the community or toying with Jack’s comatose body on occasion. He’s watching and very much savoring the downward spiral Chase is in. A majority of what’s happened since May 2018 has been Chase glitching and acting strange rather than Anti, hence the camera/screen glitching more often than his physical body. The remaining fractions of cryptic/glitchy videos has been Anti hacking into the channel and reminding the community he’s lurking. After each time he’s done this, Henrik and Chase have had to reset all passwords to Jack’s social media that they’ve been using to make sure he’s kept out.

Sometimes Chase doesn’t feel/realize/see the recording getting meddled with by himself until well after its uploaded and he sees the community panicking about it, other times he’s well aware it’s going on and is acting that way on camera on purpose because he’s experiencing corruption affects or having blackouts. He‘s ashamed of himself for letting the community see what’s happening to him. Little did he know Anti had cameras record what he did to Chase and uploaded it to the channel so they all already know something is deeply wrong with Chase. He doesn’t have the will to go into detail about everything and clarify, so even though he’s upset about all the different speculations and theories about what’s going on because most of them are incorrect, he’d rather leave them to their own devices because the truth is complicated and messy and would be way too much to explain in a video or post.

Not only Chase, but Henrik keeps in close communication with the community. He keeps them up to date on Jack’s condition, how he personally is doing, how anniversaries and birthdays go, if Anti makes any appearances off-screen around them, his progress with finding Marvin and small updates from Jackie.

Jackie and Marvin are Henrik’s best friends since before Henrik met Chase. They all met through Jack. The coma struck all three of them with different kinds of grief. Jackie stopped heroing for a while and has kept a pretty low profile. He’s too distraught to fight as hard as he usually does and he’s also terrified he’s next on Anti’s list. He Probably Is. Marvin has completely vanished and nobody has heard from him. The truth is, he’s wiped himself off the radar to practice every type of magic he can find a way to learn about. He’s relentlessly training himself to avenge Jack and keep Anti away from the others.

Jameson is a sort of wild card buzzing around wherever needed. He typically hangs around Henrik, who saved him between operations on Jack. Anti attacked him the moment he was created to get him either on his side or out of the picture so he had less loose ends to tie up. He mutilated Jameson’s throat and left him for dead (though Jameson was created mute, the subtle throat scar he has is a common misconception people have when they first meet him). Jackie and Marvin found him, brought him to Henrik, and he was saved. Now recovered, he’s slowly taught Jackie, Marvin, and Chase BSL (Henrik already knew it in case of disabled patients), and floats between places doing whatever he can to help. He knows minor medical assistance from Henrik and helps him with Jack sometimes, he guards Jack’s hospital room (he’s got rapidly developing time powers and he’s not afraid to use them), practices said developing powers on his down time, and just generally does whatever small things he can to make life easier on the other four.

Jackie and Marvin had no idea Dark Silence happened until they both (at separate times on their own) found Anti’s footage on the channel. They’ve sunken even deeper into the grieving/coping methods they developed after Jack went into a coma.

Quit the Game to Win, most (if not all) of the X Scary Games, 1 Video series, any other videos we’ve had random, strange, fiery panic-worthy behavior and glitches from since May 2018 are all Chase. If someone were to watch the videos consecutively, Chase’s deterioration would be a lot more clear, a lot more scary, and a lot more heartbreaking.

So far Chase’s side affects are small glitches, mood swings, nose bleeds, ears ringing, nightmares, random blackouts (usually in which he does cryptic shit or uncharacteristic and unnerving behavior during), headaches, paranoia, and several other (mostly mental) symptoms.

For now, Henrik and Chase are waiting things out. Both of them are very stressed, scared, and tired.

Might edit this (will reblog if I do) or just straight up reblog it with more info if I think up more,,,, if I ever touch this AU again?? Idk it was spontaneous and usually my muses like that don’t last long. XD But I’d be happy to keep this an occasional writing prompt thing or something... Hmmmmm...

Also if you wanna send me asks/write/draw about this AU ever, feel free! Just tell me and tag me! :0

[thegayfromrulid]

Frkm 1 allll the way to 99. Also, the next SAO game eugeo lives as a sword and not die (thank GOD)

@2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars- I will not eat lollipops. 

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy! I actually get super bad headaches from bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably lonely genius...

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles!! I feel so fancy!! And old-timey.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I guess tomboy even though I’m a boy??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aren’t these the same thing? I think I prefer over-ear headphones, but I don’t really like either. 

8. movies or tv shows?

Depends on the genre I guess. But as a main rule, live action- movies, animated- TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Potato salad.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Frankly, I wasn’t good, but I was really good at pissing all the jocks off-

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I make myself these homemade egg mcmuffins. I enjoy them a lot. I am very picky about breakfast.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I only have one and it’s very generic: The Gay From Rulid’s Playlist. Yes it’s on Spotify. Yes, it’s 99% anime openings and endings and maybe Bet On It from HSM2. Be ashamed of me. Go on.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard! Mine is a BNHA one I bought from an artist at Nekocon!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Either Sweet Tarts or Nerds. 

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I usually have one leg tucked up under me and the other stretched out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black and white pair of Skechers. They look like shit. They almost never are replaced by another shoe. Not even in the gross muggy heat.

18. ideal weather?

When it’s just warm enough to wear a t-shirt and sit in the sunshine, but cool enough that I’m not hot, and a little breeze is going. I think of this weather quite often. 

19. sleeping position?

On my belly kinda spread out like a shounen protagonist.

21. obsession from childhood?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Have always been obsessed with him and his works. 

22. role model?

Redundant, but Tolkien again. Linguist and writer. Living my dream. 

23. strange habits?

I unplug things like microwaves, lamps, and TVs when I am done using them. Very little remains plugged in at my place. The modem, the fridge, and the clock. That is it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst. It’s my sister’s middle name. And I especially like the purple ones.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Blue by Eiffel 65. I don’t know why that song sticks out so much in my memory but it’s nostalgic for me. Tiny AJ hyperfixated on this song before anything else ya’ll. 

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Curl up in the sun on a blanket and nap. 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Hot cocoa blanket cuddles. 

28. five songs to describe you?

Uhhhh...I’m not very musically literate. Let’s go with Born This Way (the first person I came out to sent me that song so it feels special!), I’m Free to Be Me by Jamie Grace, Praying by Kesha, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift ( @delicateeuphorias​ would you believe it xD), and right now thinking about someone dear to me who’s been gone See You Again is stuck in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Arboretums or big botanical gardens where I can get lost in the plants for a moment and take in how pretty they all are. And old monuments/big things people of the past built. A lot of things were built by people with no rights/freedom and I think about them and how despite the fact that they had nothing, they made such a lasting impact on our world. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

*slips on my Owari no Seraph cosplay* I will kick ass in this sweet ass cape-

33. most used phrase in your phone?

My phone seems to think it’s “Kirito’s ass” and I want it to not think that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

O-O-O-O’REILLYYYYYYYYYY’S...Autooo PARTS.

35. average time you fall asleep?

I’m an insomniac it could be 10 pm it could be 3 am who knows I sleep for an hour I’m up again...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Fucking CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGR cats. 

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

This all boils down to how much I’m packing. Going for a sleepover? Duffel. Going to con? My giant suitcase with room for all the bells and whistles of cosplay.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Oh cruel I looooove lemon. The pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

In high school here- so, aside from me being the resident weirdo (I DID come to school dressed as the TARDIS), my senior class decided to squirt hundreds of bottles of chocolate syrup on the sidewalks. We were an open campus so it’s all in front of our classroom doors- we had no hallways. And then they. They fucking EGGED ALL THE DOORS. The whole campus smelled like...ick.

41. last person you texted?

My father and mother in a group text to cry about customers treating me poorly. 

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I prefer the jacket pockets because I still haven’t found a way to get men’s pants under the radar of my ever-watchful parents and women’s jeans pockets are SHITTY. Women gotta boycott this shit it is UNACCEPTABLE-

44. favorite scent for soap?

Peppermint...peppermint ^-^ I like to smell like...mint.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Recently I was reminded I live alone and my new favorite sleeping outfit...is...just some boxer shorts. Suck it dysphoria. Manly nightwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Pepper jack, Swiss, or ricotta. 

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Strawberry :3

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I’m gonna sound so gay but when @disasterbikirito​ started laughing about a certain GIF and his laugh was so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too. 

51. current stresses?

Are you shitting me it’s everything. Every. Single. Thing. I cannot breathe. I am having meltdowns. Someone fucking save me I cannot deal with COVID well.

52. favorite font?

Garamond for writing in my free time, Doulous SIL for all the linguistics IPA symbols my greedy heart desires. 

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Smooth but my fingertips have been gnawed on. I am stressed, okay?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Gosh, lots of things. But the most important takeaway is that a good boss will genuinely care about you. I miss that man. He was so wonderful and so caring and taught me so much about theater. Technical things and artistic things and historical things. Sometimes I wish I could have made a career out of working under him. 

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast (AH...AH...I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES BECAUSE I’M TRANS. I KNOW. I *KNOW*.)

56. favorite tradition?

It’s a family tradition kinda unique to my household. Each year, we draw a name from a hat, and that name comes with a lot of words that describe us and what we liked over that year. We then each take a $20 bill and we go to a little hobby shop with cheap things in it and use that $20 bill to fill a Christmas stocking. We then hang them back up and empty the stocking full of candies and random silly things and have a good laugh and guess who filled whose stocking. 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The first one is coming to terms with knowing my dad has a severe illness. It really shook my family up, and it’s terrifying us right now with everything going on, but after a while, I learned that he was smiling, so I could smile, too.

The second one is my mother coming back from her tour in the Middle East on top of the murder of my godmother. Two very stressful things happened at once. My mother got very violent from her PTSD and her best friend died in a horrible way. It was an adjustment for everyone, and it kind of ripped my family to pieces. I can say, though, that my parents are still married and are getting better, and my sister and I are coming back to the family to be more open and healthy.

The third, and maybe some of my followers are aware, was getting rid of my ex-fiance. He was a man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and I won’t go into details beyond that. It took me 5 years to get rid of him and accept what happened, but I am a much happier person now and while I work through the trauma that caused me, I have the most wonderful partner by my side and if you had told me back then I’d find someone as kind and patient and loving as him, I would have laughed and thought you were insane. 

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably what I put on all my fanfic updates: “I know. I’m an asshole.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Some kind of shoujo romance but it’s bi also I want a sword.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

There was nothing more smartass than Alice Synthesis 30 in SAO 18 asking a reporter to open up his head and prove he was human I’m sorry like OOF-

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Get in losers, we’re playing Steppin’ Out by FLOW, Elle me dit by Mika, Blue by Eiffel 65, ADAMAS by LiSA, and Touch Off by UVERworld.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I was on Webkinz more than I want to admit. 

65. any permanent scars?

Yup. I have one on my toe where I split the skin in half. I tripped. I have three surgical scars from when I had my appendix removed. And...the mystery scar. I was supposedly born with a scar it’s at the part where my foot meets my leg on my left side and you can see how it’s stretched over the years if you run your finger over it. The joke is that the doctor taking out my mom’s appendix scratched me in the womb. 

67. good luck charms?

Not really a charm but I do have a little Kirito keychain I carry everywhere I go that I fiddle with when I’m nervous.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Artificial bubblegum. Disgustiiiing.

70. left or right handed?

I am right-handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Zig-zags. 

72. worst subject?

History...I am ashamed. It’s interesting, I just suck at it.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Gingerbread and marshmallow. I am a bit picky about mixing foods and flavors, so this was the weirdest I could think up. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Can you hear that? It’s my hysterical laughter. 12 on a scale of 10. I get up there pretty frequently. Thank you, chronic crippling pain. 

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I...I don’t remember...I don’t even remember...I think I had to be like what...kindergarten? 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE ALL POTATOS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH-Au gratin.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station. Mark my words...I will never get grocery store sushi. Ever. Again. My stomach has not forgotten. What a mistake. That was. 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

So, my driver’s license hasn’t had an updated photo since I was 15 and just had a learner’s so I look like I want to murder a man but my school ID I had just run about a mile in the cold because the bus wasn’t running that day and my face is red and I look like I’m crying...probably the school ID...

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones~~

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I am from the South and we call ‘em lightnin’ bugs.

82. pc or console?

Errrrr console. I’m not a gamer by any means but there’s way fewer things to press on a console controller. 

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Neither...what...no...neither...they will put me to sleep...I will be out in seconds...the most dangerous things...people talking...and then I’m out...

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, she’s a LOT easier to dress. Those rubber clothes. SMH.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies but they gotta be the soft ones.

87. your greatest fear?

Being swallowed in the ocean. By a fish or a whale. I don’t play. Church kid don’t play with big things in the ocean with big mouths.

88. your greatest wish?

To make enough of a difference in someone’s life that they learn to love themself.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Such a selfish thought...gosh...the mere thought of prioritizing someone troubles me. 

90. luckiest mistake?

Telling a cute guy sending me dog pictures was an excellent flirting technique as he sent me pictures of his puppy. I immediately thought “oh god I’ve fucked up bad” and at present we’re kinda head over heels for one another so maybe just be stupidly blunt once and a while you might find true love. 

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes. My cat didn’t force me to say that. Not at all. Sock, buddy, off the keyboard-

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight. I like the sun. The sun is my friend. It is warm and would never betray me.

93. nicknames?

Sister calls me “spoony” when she’s being ridiculous. No, I don’t know what that means. Mama calls me “cakes.” I had friends who called me “Deku” because I’m a crybaby. Had a few people DM me and straight up call me “Eugeo” or “Eug.” AJ is technically a nickname. 

94. favorite season?

Springtime!!!!! It’s...HERE!

95. favorite app on your phone?

I use like three apps...so Discord.

96. desktop background?

It’s. It’s Kirito and Eugeo. What did you expect.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Mama’s, dad’s, mine, and my parents’ house number. And does the emergency 911 count (pahahaha). 

(I answered the others in delicateeuphoria’s ask!)

[the-princess-with-pancakes]

Bruce Campbell movie week (marathon)

I was sitting today (Tuesday) and thought to myself “Hey, why not watch one movie with an actor, for a week and get to know his career better”. And since I watched Evil Dead two days ago, I thought, that Bruce Campbell would be a good choice. I already saw Ash vs Evil Dead and loved it and I like his facial expressions. 

I’m gonna spoil of course, because most of this movie are old, so if you haven’t watched them already, you probably don’t want to that much anyway. 

Day 1: Evil Dead (1981) 

Wow. This looks like a movie made by some friends, that had a good idea and made a timeless horror classic. It’s actually pretty dark and fresh after all this years. I mean, xD, you have to ignore the fact, that it’s an old and cheap movie, so it looks rough around the edges and aged hard. But the tension is built really well. I was a bit surprised, because I was expecting an comedy horror, but this was a full horror, which is not a problem, since I like this type of movies. The worst thing was, that the whole movie I was waiting for his hand to be chopped off, but it sadly didn’t happen. The scene with the decaying dead ones, was so gross, that I almost vomited, and that’s a good thing, I loved it xD So yeah, the final verdict is, that I liked it, it was a good movie, to watch once and watch from where the series came from. Also it’s very interesting, how a 350k $ movie gathered almost 30 million in the box office. Just wow. 

My favorite quote: Ash: Shut up, Linda!

I actually wrote this two days after watching this movie, but I still remember the important stuff, so don’t worry.

Day 2: Evil Dead II (1987)

What the hell was that? This was a great movie! (Did I just answer myself? Weird..) I had a lot of fun on this one! I start with the thing, I didn’t like as much, it was the redcon, but it’s okay, at least it changed some things for the better. As I said before, Bruce’s facial expressions are amazing. I mean, the laughing room scene was so funny, I laughed so hard. The hand thing with his hand, just great. I also had fun on watching, how weird this movie was shot, it was actually weirdly (I’m gonna abuse this word, don’t I?) entertaining in it’s unexpected way. Seriously, especially the scene, where they all gathered around in the big room in started to chase the noise with their sight. What else can I say? It was still fresh, to see a good parody movie. It still looked very cheap, but had some magic in it, because of the cheapness. And I love, how the movie teases the third movie in the middle with the pages and that starts the third movie in the end xDD And OMC, it was directed by fucking Sam Raimi! I didn’t know that! The director of the best (and only for now) Spider-Man trilogy creates Evil Dead. I’m even ashamed, I didn’t know that earlier. Good job Sam. You already delivered me 3 hours of good cinema, can’t wait to watch Army of Darkness tomorrow ^^

And this quote:

Ash: [for no apparent reason] ... Groovy.

I actually could change this to Sam Raimi movie week at this point, but nah, I like to know more about my boy Bruce.

Day 3: Army of Darkness (1992)

I was too hyped for this one. But come on, Ash traveling in time, to fight a dead army with some knights. That sound great! But I’m disappointed. For a comedy horror, there was no horror, not even a little, not even some gore. It’s not bad, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. Well okay, it’s not good either. There was a lot of jokes tho, most of them weren’t funny in my opinion. The little Ashes scene was a good idea, but made just okay. The skeletons were okay, like cartoon Clone Wars funny, not minions funny, so that’s good. The movie... it was just lazy writing I guess. The story wasn’t so fresh and new, like the first two, and it was very rushed. It’s a good 2 hour material, compressed to 1:20h. They could cut the budget a little in some scenes and make it longer. In some scenes I thought it was a little inspired by The Mask, but it actually came out two years later, so maybe Sam Raimi likes the comics or something? Idk, it was a good movie to watch once, as the end of this trilogy, but nothing else. 

Favorite quote:  [Upon getting the powered glove in place of his right hand]  Ash: Groovy. 

It’s just gets me every time! XD

Day 4: Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

What a bizarre concept for a movie. Old Elvis Presley (played by the man Bruce) and a black “JFK” (he’s literally called that in the IMDB description) fighting a mummy in a nursing home. Odd, huh? But it had a good rating, so I picked it. Cthulhu, was it slow. When I complained, that Army of Darkness was too rushed, that this movie is too slow. Ist not just slow, it’s actually pretty boring, for an interesting concept like that. I would really like to see this movie with young Elvis and young John. Maybe it would have get a little kick. (It actually is coming, but I get to that in a moment) But this? They were moving as slow, as the movie was going.  Elvis at least had an interesting backstory. John had an even funny theory. The jokes weren’t bad. And the nurse was actually my favorite character. So much charisma I guess. The movie, sadly, was a little below average, and that’s disappointing. Ikd what else to say. Don’t watch it. It’s not even worth it. 

Favorite quote:  Elvis: No offense, Jack, but President Kennedy was a white man.  JFK: They dyed me this color! That's how clever they are! 

Told you, his theory was good xD 

 Also, they making a prequel to that, whaaat? I’m surprised, that they want to get back to a buried franchise (if you even can call it that). 

I haven’t had a good mood and because of that I had a brake for over a week. So I’m changing the movie week for a movie marathon. Which isn’t a good term, but it’s still a better one then ‘week’.

Movie 5: Running Time (1997)

 It’s nice to see a solid Bruce Campbell movie again. It wasn’t great, it was just solid. An 60 minutes experience, just for the actor. The movie was literally 60 minutes, so I didn’t even feel, like I wasted a lot of time watching this. The movie is filmed to imitate real time, which looks actually pretty good. So in 60 minutes he gets out of prison, get some people, performs a heist, runs away and gets the girl. The heist was also well made. Because of the real time experience, it was actually pretty stressful. I mean, after like 10 minutes you just watch, like the perfect plan slowly goes to shit. And it’s also made pretty good. Because of that, the heist scene made me feel stressed, because I hoped they get the money and get out of there. Surprise, it all didn’t go as planed, they got out, but like 1/2 of the team. It’s not a complicated story, so after a while you can guess how it goes. It wasn’t destroying the experience tho. I only wish the dialogues were better, because most of them were average or even a little shallow. But hey, it could have been a lot, lot worse. And the black and white actually adds a little “color” to this movie. Good choice from the makers. The movie was also very cheap, 130k $ budget. I’m surprised that Bruce, after playing in a 11 million dollar movie, decided for one like this. Maybe it was a project he really liked and the money wasn’t so important? Who knows. 

Favorite quote:  I didn’t have one ;-; 

And! I actually saw the blooper, they wrote on IMDb. I was like “wait, was that the camera man?”, went back a few seconds and yeah, it was, in the window of the police car xD

And sadly the post ends here. I really wanted to watch Going Back (1984), but I couldn’t get my hands on it, not even illegal. Also I had a problem to watch Man with the screaming brain (2005) or My name is Bruce (2007). So, yes, the week ends at fifth day (movie). But yeah, Bruce doesn’t have many movies with leading roles. But I hope the next actor will have more of them. And yes, I already decided who that will be.

[do-what-the-knight-tells-you]

Broadchurch: the short story collections. Part 1

Available over here.

The first book contains four short stories, all of which take place before S2, so if you want to read this, it might be nice before re-watching S2.

1- “The End Is Where it Begins”, Ellie, After S1: how she comes to transfer precints and end up as the traffic cop we see in S02E01.

2- “The Letter”, Maggie, a few days before S2: STruggles with Echo finances, works on a story, thinks about resigning.

3- “Old Friends”, Jocelyn, 10-20 years before S1: insight into her past, her career, her character, Jack Marshall, and what was going on in town around the time Danny and Tom were born.

4- “Over the Side”, Tess, months before S1 (three days into the Sandbrook case): a twenty-four hour window into that case, her perspective on the case, her affair, and Alec’s behavior/character/etc at that time. This is the night Pippa’s body is found, from her perspective.

I’ve included summaries, my notes, excerpts, and other Things Of Interest under the readmore. this book was interesting, short, and very worth the read, for me!

1. Ellie- Between S1 and S2.

“Going back into uniform was Ellie's choice, but it usually means demotion. It’s shorthand for disgrace. As far as Ellie is concerned, the uniform helps. Her collar and cravat help her hold he head up high, and she walks easily in regulation flat shoes. This is a move sideways,  not downward; she’s still a Sergeant. Her salary stays the same, and that’s important. Ellie’s staring down the barrel of single parenthood, paying for the childcare Joe used to do for free. Resigning would mean sacrificing her pension, and with a good fifteen years of service left in her, that’s not an option. “But there’s more to it than the money. It doesn’t feel right to go back into CID until Joe’s been sentenced. She’s never told anyone this, but it feels like that way, she’ll be able to put Danny behind her. But going into uniform, that felt right. Ellie understands now what Hardy meant about atonement. [Look! Thinking about him!] by serving another community, she can atone for what Joe did to her own. Leaving the force, taking a sabbatical, all the other things tat people told her to do: none of these was an option. This move is, above all else, a massive /fuck you/ to Joe.  Fifteen years, Ellie's been on the force. When he took Danny’s life, he took Ellie's best friend, their community, and her eldest son. She will not let him have her career as well.”

And in the car with her new loudmouth partner: “after ten minutes she finds herself yearning for Alec Hardy’s brooding and sulks. At least he was quiet. She wonders where Hardy is now: under a doctor’s observation somewhere, she hopes, contemplating the salvage of his own career from the confines of a hospital bed.”

In general her new partner is a bit of a sexist good-old-boy who thinks the problem with youth today is the welfare state... She thinks the problem is lack of outreach and enrichment. She is struggling to get everything in line in her life.

Tom’s voice breaks while they are separated. And her heart breaks to have missed that.

She successfully overrides her partner, follows her instincts, and saves a family, some kids, from a domestic situ while on the job… and then falls to fucking pieces after. Realizes she doesn’t have the emotional fortitude to handle cases without breaking, right now. Calls in sick, and then transfers to traffic.  “She is bitterly aware of the irony that while she has gained her colleagues’ respect, she now understands that she doesn’t deserve it. It’s either this or leave the force, and then Joe’s won. She is hanging onto her career by her fingernails, marking time until his plea next week. “Ellie has always prided herself on putting people before anything else but life as a black rat is about enforcing the letter of the law, or rather its numbers. She’s reduced to the digits and codes of traffic policing: stopping distances, speed limits, milligrams of alcohol and penalty points. Even her fellow traffic officers, infamous for their pedantry, started calling her robocop after he first shift. “Inside Ellie's locker, there’s a photograph of Tom and Fred before the blast. She marks a tally on the picture’s white border, inky scratches in the gloss, to count down the days until Joe stands in the dock at Wessex County court and says the magic word that will give her back her son.”

Aw hell, Ellie.

2- Maggie- A few days before S2 begins. 

Budget cuts are crippling the Echo. Finally, she is ready to submit her resignation in protest, but a story she runs down locally (to do with land use, and, eventually, marijuana), turns out to be leveragable to do some good in town, force some good change, and she figures that's still worth doing, so she'll hang in a little longer.

No mention of Lil, so, still not sure when they broke up/if they are split... oh, and a passing mention of Jocelyn's home. Just, that it is there.

3- Jocelyn- Her story is set farther back, but is fascinating. It's set partially at least twenty, twenty five years pre-S1, and then partially right around the time that Danny Latimer was born. 

It's a little window into who Jocelyn was at that time and what she did. Talks about her outlook on her career, her relationship with her mother, her habit of spending no more than four bank holidays a year in Broadchurch, and staying in London, her preference, her work, the rest of the time.

Also, it turns out she represented Jack Marshall and convinced him to plead guilty so that he would get a shorter jail sentence and get back to the Rowena faster, which he did, and then married her.

Jocelyn was quite reserved even then, but they kept in touch and Jack confided in her after the accident that took his son's life and caused their split, that he needed a new place to go... She suggested Broadchurch because she knew the newsstand was up for sale.

The last scene of the short story is her visiting him at the newsstand. She's noticed her vision is starting to go, she's watching the Latimers with their three-day-old baby boy walk along the beach.

There are references to lots of things and folks there in town, throughout the story, the sea brigade, Oliver, the fact that she's lost touch with Maggie long since and she's a bit grateful for that because otherwise Maggie would surely have sniffed out her connection to Jack and outed Jack's past to everyone. Oh, and Ellie is 10 days overdue and fit to burst with Tom and so Beth (Beth and Ellie had become friends in their pre/antenatal classes) had been dropping by with Danny over there, hoping that holding Danny would maybe induce labor.

... and finally.

4- Tess- Day 3 of the Sandbrook case, well before S1

I didn't look ahead, I totally had no idea that this was coming. But this is Tess' side of a 24-hour period from the Sandbrook case. I'm going to sum some of it, and then I'm probably just going to end up posting big chunks of it. Or you can go read it yourself. That's good too. XD

It's April 2012, day 3 after the Sandbrook girls disappear. She and the other DS she's cheating with were getting it on, for what was clearly not the first time, in the backseat of his car. Made a comment about the fact it next time they would take it back to the hotel, doing it in the car was foolish and uncomfortable. Which also seems to imply that this is a regular thing. Tess thinks a bit on the fact that Dave is present with her in a way Alec isn't, though she feels guilty about all of it.

The cheating is a release for her, like other people might smoke a cigarette or go for a run. She knows Alec is really struggling with how close in age Pippa is to Daisy. 

"Alec works sixteen-hour days, forgets to eat, and gets angry. She hasn’t seen him since they got the shout two days ago. He’s sleeping on the sofa in his office, if he’s sleeping at all. At least Tess got four hours in her own bed last night and a shower in her own bathroom. Daisy was staying with a friend; Tess and Alec rely a lot on the generosity of friends’ parents in the first few chaotic days of a case. The house was too quiet this morning. It’s strange; Alec can stay away for days and Tess feels nothing but relief, but Daisy sleeping somewhere else feels wrong."

Tess knows what Alec is like on these cases. Her affair with what's-his-face went on much longer than the case itself. I’d guess months, at least, prior to this story.

"She hasn’t seen Alec since last night. Tess hopes he’s not in the office. The chances are small; as Senior Investigating Officer, he likes to work the field as much as possible. They used to work so well together – professionally, at least, she’s never been more compatible with another officer, and that includes Dave – but at the moment she can’t concentrate if Alec’s even in the same building. Dave sits opposite her at work, and Alec’s got the corner office just behind them. Every time he walks past, she shrivels with guilt and with contempt for her husband. Guilt over the adultery, contempt that Alec can’t see it.

[Lends more weight to Hardy’s perception of the affair, as we saw it in the S1 novelization-- namely that it was shameful, that he felt ashamed to have been cheated on. I bet she says/said something nasty, along these lines, and he internalizes it]

“If she and Dave so much as brushed past each other at a crime scene, he’d notice. That’s the problem in a nutshell: the tunnel vision that makes him a brilliant detective means he hasn’t seen Tess – really seen her – in years."

[Oh God, I see where this is going. This is the night he finds Pippa, isn't it?]

‘Where’s Alec?’ Tess asks Chrissie, a fellow DS who’s already got three empty mugs on her desk. Chrissie creases her brow. As always, whenever Tess refers to her husband by his first name, it takes her colleague a few seconds to get who she means. But what else can she call him? She can’t call him Hardy and she’s damned if she’ll call him the boss or the guvnor.

[”Guvnor”? is this a British thing, or personal nickname? if the latter, Ellie would laugh herself sick over it, if she ever found out.]

“Chrissie checks a memo on her screen. 

“‘He’s overseeing a fingertip search of the river Sandbrook.’ 

“‘The Sandbrook?’ echoes Tess. It’s right on the edge of their patch, a slow-flowing river with great stretches straying miles from the nearest road and barely accessible on foot. ‘On what basis?’ 

“‘On the basis of it’s the only open space left on our ground that we haven’t covered, and there’s still no trace of either girl,’ says Chrissie grimly, her eyes travelling to the clock. Tess flinches at the reminder of how far behind they are, and boots up her computer, not wanting to waste another minute. When Dave comes in, she looks up with a cool hello...”

She thinks about potential leads in the case, she interacts with Dave a little bit, mostly through facial expressions. And then

“Tess is giving Dave one more warning look when his phone rings. His face loses its colour as he listens; Tess pulls out her earplugs but the call is already over. 

“‘That was the boss,’ says Dave, pushing his chair away from his desk, car keys in hand. ‘They’ve found the body of a young girl in the Sandbrook.’ 

“South Mercia University Hospital is across the dual carriageway from the police station, eight storeys of white concrete and foggy windows. 

“‘I knew it’d be murder,’ says Dave, as they get into a lift marked STAFF ONLY. ‘I knew from the first shout, but it doesn’t stop you hoping, does it?’

“‘You always hope,’ says Tess. ‘But I can’t remember hoping like this for a long time.’ Dave reaches for her hand and circles his thumb on her palm. 

“‘You OK, babe?’ His tenderness melts her, but she can only squeeze his fingers in reply. She can’t afford to soften now. The lift spits them out two floors underground and Tess and Dave walk through a dingy yellow corridor lit with flickering strip lights. It is maybe ten degrees colder here than in the station. This is not the way to the viewing room, where victims’ families see their loved ones still beneath a white sheet. This long walk is for the professionals, the dealers in death. There is nothing beautiful down here: a few laundry bags piled in a trolley, a mop and bucket and a yellow CLEANING IN PROGRESS sign. Tess tries very hard not to think about what gets mopped up down here. 

“‘I don’t understand why it’s just the one body,’ she says. ‘Nothing about this case makes sense.’ 

“‘Just the one body so far,’ Dave corrects her. There’s another fire door ahead; he lengthens his stride to open it for her. Tess isn’t used to these little chivalrous touches. She is astonished to find that she quite likes them. 

“‘Did Alec say if he was staying to continue the search?’ 

“‘He pretty much hung up.’ Dave bites his lip. ‘I’m sure he knows, sometimes, the way he talks to me.’ Tess shakes her head. 

“‘That’s how he talks to everyone.’ But she shakes her shoulders, as though to recalibrate her body language, and by the time they get to the end of the corridor, there’s a big space between her and Dave. When – if – they go public, it must be a long, long time after this case has been put to bed. A technician in mint scrubs is waiting behind a glass door; she punches a number into the keypad to let them in. 

“‘Five minutes,’ says the technician. Her voice is steady but she looks like she’s been crying. ‘Dr Kendall’s just preparing her now. You can wait up here.’ 

“Tess and Dave follow the technician on tiptoe up a short flight of stairs. In the viewing gallery, there’s a row of seats, almost like in a cinema, and the blind is down on the panoramic window so it looks like a blank blue screen. There are a handful of flattened paper bags on the table. Waiting for them is Sanjeev, a newish DC. He’s not long out of uniform so he won’t have worked a case like this before. Tess hasn’t spent much time with him, but she knows Alec really rates him. There’s a weird, stale, boggy smell and for a moment Tess retches, thinking it’s the dead-body-rotting smell she dreads so much. It takes her a few seconds to recognise the smell of stagnant river water, and that it’s coming from Sanj. 

“‘Sarge,’ says Sanj to Tess. ‘How comes you’re not upstairs with the boss?’ Tess doesn’t bother to hide her confusion. 

“‘What’s he doing upstairs?’ 

“‘Don’t panic,’ says Sanj. Immediately Tess starts to panic. ‘It’s just a precaution. He got into difficulties in the water.’

“Tess is bewildered. ‘What was he even doing in the water?’ 

“‘He found her,’ says Sanj, dipping his head. ‘Pippa’s body. He carried her out. You know what he’s like, he stalks off on his own, all impatient, no one can ever work fast enough for him. We didn’t even know he’d gone until he’d got her out. He reckons he went under a few times. He took in a lot of water and they’ve got to be careful about it being in his lungs, or Weil’s disease or something.’ Sanj looks down at his feet; he flexes them, and his shoes squelch. Tess is rooted to the spot, horrified at what Alec must have been through today. She is torn. Instinct urges her to go and check on him; after fourteen years of marriage, you can’t just turn off the concern like a tap. But he’ll be in good hands. He probably won’t even want her, he hates being fussed over. And with him indisposed, she’s the senior officer. 

“She’s still debating with herself when the blinds go up and the theatre is revealed in all its spot-lit, chrome glory, and there, splayed on the slab is— Tess’s vision blurs. There’s a whole team of people, but the pathologist and his team, in their scrubs, are reduced to green blobs. Tess can’t look at anything but Pippa Gillespie’s body. It doesn’t look human. It has been completely bloated by the water; her face is swollen and grey, her limbs pasty and distended. Water has matted her hair and dirt outlines her nails. Tess thinks of the picture they have on the board, that perfect little girl, playing tennis, golden skin, long brown hair, and it is all that she can do to stand. She’s seen bodies destroyed by water before, but never one this young. Tears try to push their way out of her eyes but Tess pushes back harder. She’ll cry later, in front of Dave, but she won’t fall apart in public. She gives silent thanks that Pippa can be identified forensically. Her mother will never have to see her like this. 

“She steps up to the microphone, forcing her voice to hold steady. 

“‘DS Tess Henchard,’ she says. ‘Is there anything you can tell us just by looking at her?’ Dr Kendall looks up to the gallery and nods hello. 

“‘Only that she’s been in the water for at least two days.’ There’s a tenderness in his voice at odds with the gleaming surgical instruments in the tray behind him. ‘So that narrows down your time of death, I suppose. As for the cause … I’ll be frank with you, Sergeant. There’s no obvious wound. Water covers death’s tracks. It gets into the body through the orifices and starts decomposing from the inside as well as out. It affects the tox report. We will work quickly, and to the highest standard, but I can’t guarantee that we’ll find the cause of death. Let’s talk in the morning.’ 

“‘Christ.’ She pushes the heels of her hands onto closed eyes, but the image of Pippa’s face is imprinted on the back of her eyelids. She looks to the door; she ought to check on Alec, for form’s sake as much as anything. Dave doesn’t need to be told what she’s thinking. 

“‘I’ve got this,’ he says. ‘You go to him.’ It is possibly the kindest thing anyone’s ever done for her. He places a hand on her arm, a light gesture but it’s not lost on Sanj. Tess notes his double take, then watches as the horror below wipes the suspicion from his mind, for now at least. She leaves Dave and Sanj to watch the post-mortem. 

“In the lift, her legs go. She has pulled herself to her feet by the time she gets to the front desk. The receptionist points her towards Accident and Emergency. Tess concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other, reading the signs, breathing through her mouth, and trying to close her mind’s eye to the sight of Pippa Gillespie’s body, but the image is imprinted on her for ever. Her badge helps her to jump the queue – she can’t help thinking she gets more respect from the triage receptionist as a Detective Sergeant than she would as a wife – but it still takes her the best part of an hour to find out that Alec has discharged himself. She boils with rage – if he’s gone back to the scene with his health in tatters, she’ll kill him. She asks to see the registrar who treated him; another half-hour wait. 

“She calls Daisy, who’s still at Molly’s. They’re lucky she’s popular. If she has dinner with a different friend every night, that can take them ten days into a case. After that, repeat requests usually get awkward. This time, though, everyone knows the case they’re working on. Friends are falling over themselves to have Daisy for the evening, offering sleepovers, weekend shifts, school pickups. ‘Whatever helps you find those girls’ is the phrase they hear again and again. Tess hopes the goodwill continues into the murder inquiry. Lately, she’s been wondering if the hospitality would extend to a single mother trying to juggle shifts around work and a new relationship. 

“‘It’ll be a little while yet,’ says Tess. ‘Home in time to see you to bed, though.’ ‘Have you found her?’ says Daisy. She has become fixated on Pippa Gillespie; she knows they’re the same age, and she can see what the case is already doing to her parents, three days in. Tess feels a pang for the innocent days when Daisy thought that all they did was direct traffic. Tess and Alec naturally never tell Daisy anything before it’s released to the media. ‘Not yet, sweetie,’ she says. ‘Be good for Molly’s mum.’ 

“Eventually, the registrar comes in, a young man smelling of coffee and sweat. There’s a comet of blood on his white coat. ‘Mr Hardy discharged himself against my recommendation,’ he says. ‘I’m telling you because I’m concerned for his health. Physically, he was fine. I mean, the water doesn’t seem to have done any lasting damage. But he’s suffering from acute stress, and there are more tests we’d like to run. With anyone else I’d recommend that he take time off work, but …’ He spreads his hands. Tess doesn’t know whether he’s implying that the case is more important than one man’s health, or whether he’s simply got the measure of Alec already and knows his advice would fall on deaf ears. 

“There’s a voicemail on her phone from Alec’s second in command, DS Beauman, wishing the boss well and telling him that they’ve got SOCO in now. Alec hasn’t gone back to the crime scene. So where is he? Alec is not at home and he’s not answering his phone. Tess sees Daisy off to bed and opens a bottle of red. She searches Google maps on her iPad, scrolling up and down the length of the Sandbrook looking for patterns, clues, inspiration, until she feels dizzy. 

“She calls the incident room; Sanj answers and immediately asks after Alec. So he’s not there. Dave’s working the scene at the Sandbrook; she texts him to see if Alec’s turned up, then again to see if they’ve found anything new. Both questions come back negative. She deletes the message thread out of habit even though this time there’s nothing incriminating. 

“She’s really starting to worry now. This disappearance is completely unprecedented. She pictures him collapsed behind the wheel somewhere en route to the Sandbrook, and she works herself up into a fury. For all his dedication to his job, he neglects what ought to be his number one priority: making sure he’s in good enough health to do it. There’s real fear under her concern, though, and she’s about to call the hospital when she hears his car on the driveway. It’s 10 p.m. 

“As his key turns in the door, she’s waiting for him in the hall. The sight of him makes her stagger. He’s wearing a grey tracksuit, the police-station-issue kind they give to people whose clothes have been seized as evidence. The trousers are too short and his ankles are exposed, making him look ridiculous. His hair is plastered down.

“She stopped touching Alec a while ago--”

[Oh god, I remember that comment in the first novelization, that Miller is the first person to take his hand in so long he couldn’t remember...]

“-- it started to feel like betraying Dave-- and he doesn’t seem to have noticed, or to miss it.”

[Oh God.]

“She hesitates before going to hug him, and when she opens her arms, Alec folds his and shakes his head. Dave wouldn’t do this, is her first reflex thought. 

“‘Where’ve you been? she asks. It was supposed to come out concerned but it sounds derogatory.

“Alec pinches the bridge of his nose. He closes his eyes nd lets them stay that way. ‘Driving.’

“It’s five hours since he discharged himself from hospital. The thought of him going round and around the ring road in these clothes tugs at the leftovers of her love.

“‘Oh, Alec. What about your clothes?’

“He nods to a clear plastic bag on the doorstep. INside, weeds are wrapped around clothes so muddied that Tess has to think back to what he was wearing when he left for work this morning. His new blue suit. They’ll have to throw it out. Even if the can get it clean, she knows he’ll never be able to wear it again.

“When he pushes past her into the house, Tess can smell the soap from the police station showers on him.

“‘D’you wan to talk about it?’ She pours Alec the last of the wine. He looks into its dark red surface like he’s seeing through it into something else. 

“’I saw her in the mortuary,’ says Tess, ‘It must have been awful for you.’ Alec doesn’t even blink. Dave or no Dave, Tess recognises a man who needs human touch. She puts her hands on his shoulders. When they first got together, she used to massage his shoulder blades at the end of every day, feeling the knots unravel under her fingers.

[An interesting detail.]

“He used to say she had the magic touch, that no one else could relax him like she did. Now, he shrugs her off.

“‘ I’m going to check on Daisy.’

“Tess follows him upstairs and they stand at Daisy’s open bedroom door for a while. She is asleep under a garland of IKEA fairy lights, watched over by a peeling Taylor Swift poster. The tweenage sneer she wears all day has vanished. Her lips are an open rose; her brow is smooth. The difference between their perfect sleeping daughter and the deformed corpse of Pippa Gillespie hits Tess in the guts.

“‘Is she breathing?’ Alec asks suddenly, an octave higher than his usual register. ‘I can’t see her moving.’ Before Tess understands what’s happening, he’s kneeling at Daisy’s bedside. He used to do this when she was a baby, leap out of bed to check she was still alive. Tess had completely forgotten about it until now.

[That’s interesting, does he have past trauma with stuff like that? seems like he already had dead-kid PTSD BEFORE he went into the river after Pippa Gillespie. poor sucker...]

“’She’s not moving!’ He puts his hands on Daisy’s shoulders.

“’Alec, stop it!’ Tess keeps her voice to a whisper even though his was a shout, but it’s too late, he’s already shaking her awake. Daisy’s body flops, but her eyes snap wide.

“‘Daddy, what are you doing?’ She says, as Alec pulls her into a clumsy embrace and buries his face in her nightie.Tess doesn’t have enough hands as she tries to pull him off and calm Daisy at the same time. 

[LET THE MAN HUG HIS DAUGHTER]

“In the end, she has to tug at the collar of his tracksuit top. The pressure on his windpipe seems to knock the panic out of him, and he lets Daisy go.

“‘Out,’ snarls Tess.

“‘I’m sorry, darling.’ Alec walks backwards towards the door. ‘I just needed to make sure you were OK.’

“It only takes Tess a couple of minutes to soothe Daisy back to sleep; she’s confused rather than frightened, still young enough that a few soft words from her mother can chase the monsters away, and Tess hopes that in the morning they’ll be able to dismiss it as a bad dream. She waits until Daisy’s breathing regulates, tucks a stray lock of hair behind her daughter’s ear, and tiptoes out onto the landing.

“Alec sits in the half-dark like a little boy, his knees pulled up to his chest, leaning against the wall as if he has slid down it. Tess kneels next to him on the carpet. His eyes glitter.

“‘I can still see her face,’ he says. He holds out his arms in front if him, palms upwards, elbows bent. ‘I can still feel the weight of her.’ Tess pulls him against her shoulder; he resists for a moment, then collapses and weeps into her neck. This time when she reaches around and starts to work on the muscles in his shoulders, he lets her. His back feels like a sheet of metal; she keeps going until her fingers ache and she starts to feel bone and sinew under his sweatshirt. 

[How is this man constantly portrayed/described as looking like he is shit warmed over, and yet he is one of the most compelling/interesting/attractive characters Tennant has ever played???]

“When Tess shifts position, Alec seems to gather himself, like he’s let out exactly the amount of emotion that was clouding his judgement, and not a drop more. He doesn’t move his head from her breast, but there’s an edge to his voice that almost thrills her.

“‘We’re no longer dealing with a missing persons inquiry. We know where we stand now. We’ll get this.’ Without warning, he leaps to his feet. ‘We know who we’re dealing with now. A monster, someone who can leave a child to rot in a river.’ He starts to pace, his ridiculous bare ankles going backwards and forwards in Tess’s eyeline. ‘This is what we trained for, isn’t it? to get justice for families like this.’

“His new confidence is infectious. Tess often forgets, in all the frustration of living with Alec, what a brilliant detective he is. Or rather, she forgets why he’s so good at his job. It’s the quality that first attracted her to him, that pure, almost old-fashioned belief that good can vanquish evil.

“He is a good detective because, underneath it all, he is a good man.

“It’s going to make leaving him so much harder.”

...

Ouch.

See you next time!

[starcrossedjedis]

🌟 🌙 ❤️ ☕ 🌗 for whoever you want!

Okay, you said either Allie or Damian and I am on vacation in the land of shoddy wifi, so Imma do both ❤️

🌟 - when your OC loses all hope who do they turn to first? What helps them feel better? What calls them down and reassures them? Why?

Allie - this is probably the worst thing about her situation. She feels like she has no one to turn to. No one is trying especially hard to give her hope, after all. Everyone keeps telling her that Jack has either run away or been the victim of a violent crime, there's not much room for hope. As for making herself feel better, she's settled firmly into her role as the lone wolf. Most days she's doing fine-ish (it's been a long time, after all), but other than that everything is pretty meh at the start of her journey. But once she is in Wonderland she finds people that get her to open up and before she knows it, Allie is the happiest she's been in a long time. Especially Ches and Damian become her confidants and shoulders to lean on. One of them becomes even more...

Damian - for the longest time he has felt like it was his responsibility to be a source of hope and reassurance for others, but never really thought about his own needs. He was close to Ches, maybe they were even friends, but he doesn't realise how starved he is for a little light until Allie stumbles into his life and fills him and all of Wonderland with hope.

🌙 - if your OC could have one wish come true what would it be and why? Would there be consequences to this wish or would they regret it once they get what they want? What would they give in return for this wish to come true?

Allie - no brainer, she would want for Jack to be back safe and sound. Or to turn back the time and try to stop him from disappearing. And being the hot head that she is, she'd probably be all "I'd do whatever it takes!" and mean it. In the end it's gonna be "careful what you wish for, though...

Damian - as Hatter his biggest wish is already in the job description. He wants nothing more than for Wonderland to be rid of the Red Queen and the dark power of her mirror. And he is certain that there is nothing he wouldn't do to see that happen. That is until Allie comes into his life and their best chance at victory would put a target on her back.

❤️ - what would your OCs ideal lover be like? Appearance, personality, voice? Would their families approve or would it be civil war?

Allie - she has never really given it much thought. That might be unusual for a girl her age, but for the longest time her mind has been so full with Jack and his disappearance that love and falling in love didn't even occur to her. Which is why falling for Damian so sudden and fast and hard takes her completely by surprise. And while there are quite a few reasons not to be too happy about her falling for a Wonderlander, what with it being a complete different world and all, her family is all for it - and might even weigh in on the happily ever after in the end...

Damian - his track record with love is short and disastrous. On top of that he doesn't have room in his life to even think about love with the war and him feeling like he is responsible for the whole of Wonderland and its people. But when he meets Allie it is "there you are, I have been waiting for you all my life". So it's safe to say that she probably is the ideal lover for him. He doesn't actually have any family left, but with Ches he has his best friend firmly on "Team Dallie"... or "Team Allian"... or something... ^^'

☕️ - Give us one (or more if you feel like it) of your OC's deep dark secrets. Why do they keep it hidden? Spill the tea!

Allie - the night before his disappearance Allie was with Jack. In the biblical sense... It was a case of two teenagers who grew up being close being carried away in the moment. She never told anyone about it - not her grandma, not her father, not even the police - because while it was an overall good experience, she was on her way to tell him that it would never happen again when he disappeared. She wasn't in love with him and had found it would have been unfair to continue something that meant more to him than it did to her. And even though they never had that talk she feels guilty about it.

Damian - being Hatter is his secondary career. His first one was far more sinister. Born to high ranking members of the court he served as the Red Queen's Jack of Hearts. He always treated a fickle line between feeling like thinhs were going terribly wrong and following a path he has always been told he was destined to follow. Add to that the fact that he was young and foolish and in love with the Queen. It's his darkest secret and no one but Ches knows. And even though he decides to do the right thing in the end, he is still as ashamed as he was when he first stepped out of the castle.

🌗 - Early mornings or late nights? What do they spend their time doing during these hours?

Allie - late nights, but not by choice. Allie has had trouble sleeping ever since Jack disappeared. She suspects it's her subconscious overcompensating for the fact that she was fast asleep in her bed when Gid knows what happened to her best friend. Usually it's just her tossing and turning in her bed. Sometimes she goes on long late night walks, sometimes she reads. But mostly it's just her and her thoughts.

Damian - early mornings when everyone is still asleep and no one wants anything from him and he has finally some time with just him and his thoughts.

Aaand that's it. Imma go and tag @sgtbuckyybarnes because it's her fault I am back on my Wonderland bullshit to begin with xD