#Jack Baynes

[naughtybooks]

Free US & UK Promo Codes Upon Request

A SIMPLE HOLLYWOOD BLACKMAIL SCHEME TURNS DEADLY

Morocco Jones figured this assignment would be a breeze. After all, sending a guy who specialized in busting up crime syndicates and international spy rings to Los Angeles to track down some two-bit blackmailer seemed like using a cannon to kill a mosquito. To Morocco, it seemed like a good excuse for a nice little Hollywood vacation—catch a bit of sun, bed a few starlets, and relax poolside with a large snifter of brandy. 

But Morocco couldn't have been more wrong! Because this was no two-bit blackmail scheme. The half a billion-dollar payoff—for whoever was behind the plot—was money worth killing for. From the moment Morocco Jones hit fabulous movieland, things began to explode in some very strange and terrifying directions. 

First, there was the reception committee of musclemen who waylaid Morocco in the dark right outside his client's fancy Spanish villa. Next was the ex-hood who had become high-priest of a powerful and sinister religious cult that didn't draw the line even at murder when it came to keeping its secrets secret. Then, there was the scandal sheet that raked in the do-re-mi from the studios—for the truly scandalous stories it didn't print about Screenland's kings and queens. Add in a crooked cop named Doheny who didn't like Morocco's lip, and the unsolved double murder of a famous screen beauty and her husband that tied into it all somehow. Nor could Morocco overlook the incendiary blond starlet in the oh-so revealing dress who seemed to have slept with half his suspects and was always one step ahead of him, wherever he went. 

There were a lot of angles to figure, even for an operative like Morocco Jones—and his only hope of solving it was a lush out cold from a 10-day bender and a raw cub reporter who looked more destined to end up being written about in the Obits than getting his by-line on the story of the year—when and if it broke. This was a case with the distinct odor of an organized blackmail ring with syndicate tie-ups.

LISTEN TO A SAMPLE: https://amzn.to/3Inc8aH

[music-wrestling-nascar-fangirl]

[zepuckinghockey]

It's NHL wedding season! I'm aware of 10 NHLers who got married over the July 7-8, 2023 weekend as well as two related weddings. As best as I can, I've listed them out including as many verified player guests as I could find. Shoutout to the server for helping me ID a lot of generic looking faces. I've got some teams listed for context.

Feel free to let me know of people I've missed! This list has been edited on September 9th. I'm pretty sure wedding season is over, but feel free to message me with someone I missed.

June 16th, 2023 Weddings:

Kyle Clague - Sabres Notable Guests: Nolan Patrick

July 4th, 2023 Weddings:

Colin Blackwell - Hawks Notable Guests: Alex Kerfoot

July 6th, 2023 Weddings:

Tyler Bertuzzi - Red Wings Notable Guests: Michael Rasumussen, Zach Nastasiuk

July 7th, 2023 Weddings:

Alex Nedeljkovic - currently Penguins (previously Canes, Red Wings) Notable Attendees: Scott Wedgewood

Jordan Binnington - Blues Notable Attendees: Jordan Kyrou, Marco Scandella, Sammy Blais, Faulk, Perron, Logan Brown, Joshua Leivo, Vince Dunn, Robby Fabbri, Joel Edmundson, Robert Thomas, Oskar Sundqvist, Colton Parayko, Jake Walman

July 8th, 2023 Weddings:

Tyson Barrie - currently on the Preds (previously: Oilers, Leafs, Avs) Notable Attendees: everyone. Sidney Crosby, Nathan MacKinnon, Mitch Marner, Zach Hyman, Connor McDavid, Alex Kerfoot, John Tavares, Jack Campbell, Justin Holl, Evander Kane, Darnell Nurse, Mike Smith, Bayne Pettinger, Tyler Ennis, Colin Wilson, Michael Hutchinson, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Cody Ceci, Evan Bouchard, Luke Schenn, Devin Shore, Gabe Landeskog

Vinni Lettieri - currently on the Wild (previously Ducks) Notable Attendees: Trevor Zegras, Jake Bischoff, Tony DeAngelo, Jimmy Vesey, Kevin Hayes, Brady Skjei, Kevin Shattenkirk, John Gibson, Zach Bogosian, Sam Carrick, Jake Gardiner, James van Riemsdyk

Sam Reinhart - currently on the Panthers (previously Sabres) Notable Attendees: Mason Marchment, Brandon Montour, Owen Tippett

Chandler Stephenson - currently on the Knights (previously Caps) Notable Attendees: Will Carrier, Reilley Smith, Mark Stone, Cody Eakin, Jack Eichel, Alex Tuch

Sam Girard - currently on the Avs (previously Preds) Notable Attendees: Nicolas Aube-Kubel, Ryan Graves

Dylan Gambrell - currently on the Leafs (previously Sharks, Sens) Notable Attendees: Mathieu Joseph, Austin Watson (thanks anon!)

Gustav Forsling - currently on the Panthers Notable Attendees: Alex Wennberg, Marcus Hogberg, Patric Hornquist, Lucas Carlsson, Erik Gustafsson

Tyler Motte - (Rangers, Blue Jackets, Blackhawks, Senators, Canucks) Notable Attendees: Brock Boesser

Brett Richie - (Yotes, Flames)

Emerance Maschmeyer & Genevieve Lacasse - WoHo Olympic gold medalists Notable Attendees: Sarah Nurse, Erin Ambrose, Laura Stacey, Marie-Philip Poulin, Haley Irwin, just like all the big woho names

Dominik Tiffels - German hockey player Notable Attendees: Leon Draisaitl

Frankie Borrelli - Barstool Sports and Fore Play Golf Notable Attendees: Brock Nelson, Matt Martin, Adam Pelech, Scott Mayfield, Josh Bailey - info thanks to @barzyblogbabe

Morgan Reilly - Leafs Notable Attendees: his wife Tessa Virtue

July 13th, 2023 Weddings:

Dryden Hunt - Rangers Notable Guests: Kyle Burroughs

July 15th, 2023 Weddings:

Tyler Seguin - Stars (Bruins) Notable Guests: Jamie Benn, John Klingberg, Scott Wedgewood, Jesse Blacker, Mason Marchment, Ty Dellandrea, Justin Dowling

Luke Kunin - (Sharks, Wild) Notable Attendees: Colton Sissons, Matthew Tkachuk, Brady Tkachuk, (Taryn Tkachuk)

AJ Greer - Bruins (Avs, Devils) Notable Attendees: Scott Kosmachuk

Andy Andreoff - (Kings, Flyers, Islanders) Notable Attendees: Sean Couturier, Scott Laughton, Shayne Gostibehere, Erik Gudbranson, Milan Lucic

Juuso Valimaki - Coyotes

July 16, 2023 Weddings:

Kevin Hayes - Blues (Flyers, Rangers, Jets) Notable Attendees: Johnny Gaudreau, Tony DeAngelo, Brady Skjei, Jimmy Vesey

July 20th, 2023 Weddings:

Lawson Crouse - Coyotes Notable Attendees: Phil Kessel, Shayne Gostibehere, Liam O'Brien, Nick Schmaltz, Darcy Kuemper, Taylor Hall, Jacob Bryson, Travis Konecny

July 21st, 2023 Weddings:

Nicolas Aube-Kubel - Caps (Avs) Notable Attendees: Anthony Mantha, Julien Gauthier

Brady Tkachuk - Sens Notable Attendees: Matthew Tkachuk, Josh Norris, Thomas Chabot, Mark Stone, Mathieu Joseph, Luke Kunin, Christian Fischer, Ryan Donato, Robert Thomas, Alex Debrincat, Cam Talbot, Nick Holden, Quinn Hughes, Jack Hughes, Luke Hughes, Jake Sanderson, Shane Pinto, Dylan Gambrell, Colin White, Jacob Chychrun, Kevin Hayes

Juuse Saros - Predators Notable Attendees: Eeli Tolvanen, Kevin Lankinen

Tanner Jeannot - Lightning Notable Attendees: Brett Howden, Noah Gregor, Jayden Halbgewachs, Jeremy Lauzon, Alex Carrier

July 22nd, 2023 Weddings:

Alex Kerfoot - Coyotes (Maple Leafs) Notable Attendees: Justin Holl, Colin Blackwell, John Tavares, Morgan Reilly, Michael Bunting, Mitch Marner, Jake Muzzin

Nick Paul - Lightning (Senators) Notable Attendees: Chris Driedger, Drake Batherson, Thomas Chabot, Anthony Cirelli, Alex Killorn

Keith Kinkaid - (Devils, Canadiens, Rangers, Bruins, Avs)

July 24th, 2023 Weddings:

Anthony Mantha - Capitals Notable Guests: Nicholas Aube-Kubel, Julien Gauthier, Nick Jensen, Jonathan Benier

July 27th, 2023 Weddings:

Pavel Zacha - Bruins (Devils) Notable Attendees: Nico Hischier, Jesper Bratt

July 28th, 2023 Weddings:

Karson Kuhlman - Islanders (Kraken, Jets) Notable Guests: Kasimir Kaskiskuo

July 29th, 2023 Weddings:

Connor Murphy - Blackhawks (Coyotes) Notable Attendees: Sean Kuraly, Anthony Duclair, Dylan Strome, Jonathan Toews, Alex Debrincat, Taylor Raddysh, Mackenzie Entwistle, Brandon Hagel

Mitch Marner - Leafs Notable Attendees: Best Boy Zeus 🐶, Matt Martin, James Van Riemsdyk, Jake Gardiner, Tyler Bozak, Connor Brown, Justin Holl, Nazem Kadri, Willy Nylander, Zach Bogosian, Kyle Clifford, Jake Muzzin, Auston Matthews, Alex Kerfoot, Michael Bunting, Freddie Anderson, Rasmus Sandin, Morgan Reilly, Tyson Barrie, Connor Carrick, Joe Thorton, Patrick Marleau, Zach Hyman, Jack Campbell, TJ Brodie, Tyler Ennis, John Tavares, Timothy Liljegren

Ethan Bear - Canucks (Oilers, Hurricanes) Notable Attendees: Mat Barzal, Caleb Jones, Jujhar Khaira, Riley Stillman, Thatcher Demko, Austin Strand

Boone Jenner - Blue Jackets Notable Attendees: Zach Werenski, Seth Jones, Nick Blankenburg, Cole Sillinger, David Savard, Andrew Peeke, Scott Laughton, Elvis Merzlikins, Erik Gubranson

July 30th, 2023 Weddings:

Ryan Donato - Blackhawks (Kraken, Bruins) Notable Attendees: Jared McCann, Yanni Gourde, Matty Beniers, Adam Fox

August 3rd, 2023 Weddings:

Kevin Lankinen - Predators Notable Guests: Eeli Tolvanen

August 4th, 2023 Weddings:

Taylor Raddysh - Blackhawks (Lightning) Notable Guests: Dylan Strome, Connor Murphy, Anthony Cirelli

Kevin Hayes (2.0) - still Blues (Flyers, Rangers, Jets) Notable Guests: Keith Yandle, Scott Laughton, Shayne Gostibhere, Travis Sanheim, James van Riemsdyk, Brady Tkachuk, Matthew Tkachuk, Johnny Gaudreau, JT Miller, Zach Sanford, Tony DeAngelo, Brian Dumoulin, Brady Skjei, Paul Carey

August 5th, 2023 Weddings:

Conor Garland - Canucks (Coyotes) Notable Guests: Ryan Donato, Jakob Chychrun, Clayton Keller

Brendan Dillon - Jets (Capitals) Notable Guests: Tom Wilson, TJ Oshie, Jordie Benn, Jamie Benn, Trevor van Riemsdyke, Nic Dowd, Nick Jensen

Charlie McAvoy - Bruins Notable Guests: Hampus Lindholm, AJ Greer, Connor Clifton, Noel Acciari, Taylor Hall, Conor Sheary, Brad Marchand, Jake Debrusk, Matt Gryzeleyk, Derek Forbort, Brandon Carlo, David Krejci, Tuukka Rask, Jeremy Swayman, Charlie Coyle, Krug Torey, Matthew Tkachuk, Casey Fitzgerald, Colin White, Patrice Bergeron

Austin Watson - Senators Notable Guests: Cam Talbot, Anton Forsberg, Jarred Tinordi, Nick Paul, DJ Smith, Dylan Gambrell, Nick Holden, Thomas Chabot

Gage Quinney - Knights Notable Guests: Zach Whitecloud, Nicolas Roy, Jake Bischoff

Micke Rosell - player agent Notable Guests: William Nylander, Alex Nylander, Sam Ersson, Marcus Bjork

Joonas Johansson - Avs

August 6th, 2023 Weddings:

Dylan Larkin - Red Wings Notable Guests: Sam Gagner, Tyler Bertuzzi, Trevor Zegras, Kyle Connor, Troy Stecher, Marc Staal, Jeff Petry, Darren Helm, Zach Werenski, Mitchell Stephens, Riley Sheahan, Cole Caufield, Jack Hughes

August 11th, 2023 Weddings:

Shea Theodore - Knights Notable Guests: Ryan Reaves, Marc-Andre Fleury, Nick Holden, Mark Stone, Chandler Stephenson, Alex Tuch, Dylan Strome, Erik Haula, Jaycob Megna, Will Carrier, Jack Eichel, Alex Pietrangelo

Ryan Hartman - Wild Notable Guests: Matt Dumba, Marcus Foligno, Jared Spurgeon, Cam Talbot, Kirill Kaprizov, Jordan Greenway, Jon Merrill, Alex Goligoski, Jake Middleton, Mason Shaw, Calen Addison, Nick Schmalt, Matthew Boldy, Brandon Duhaime, Connor Dewar, Luke Kunin

August 12th, 2023 Weddings:

Chris Kreider - Rangers Notable Guests: Mika Zibanejad

[holmesillustrations]

Vote for your favourite, the top 9 will proceed in the bracket. Since theyre all different shapes and sizes, make sure to click into the full views!

Paget Eliminations // Other Artist Eliminations

Full captions and details for each illustration below the cut:

[Caption illegible] Charles Doyle, Study in Scarlet (1888 Ward, Lock, & Co. Novel) Characters: Watson, Baker St Irregulars, Holmes

"Standing on the rug between us." WH Hyde, Naval Treaty (Harper’s Weekly) Characters: Watson, Lord Holdhurst, Holmes

"Well, gentlemen, you have the drop on me this time." FD Steele, Dancing Men (Collier’s) Characters: Abe Slaney, Holmes, Insp Martin, Watson

"Yes, sir, it is a crushing blow," said the old man." FD Steele, Golden Pince-Nez (Collier’s) Characters: Prof Coram, Holmes

"He drew a zinc pail from under the sink." Arthur Twidle, Wisteria Lodge (The Strand) Characters: Baynes, Holmes

"Slowly she advanced, her face pale and drawn with a frightful apprehension." HM Brock, Red Circle (The Strand) Characters: Leverton, Watson, Black Gorgiano, Holmes, Gregson, Emilia Lucca

"Oh, Jack, I implore you to give it up!" Arthur Keller, Valley of Fear (1915 US Novel) Characters: Ettie Shafter, Douglas/McMurdo

"For God's sake, go back to your room!' he cried." Frank Wiles, Valley of Fear (The Strand) Characters: Mrs Douglas, Cecil Barker

"Your revolver," Sherlock told the aghast Watson, "is involved in this murder." GP Nelson, Thor Bridge (Hearst’s International) Characters: Holmes, Watson, Sgt Coventry

"Why did he ever drag you into it at all?" asked our visitor." HK Elcock, Three Garridebs (The Strand) Characters: Holmes, Watson, Nathan Garrideb

"It was his face that held my gaze. He was deadly pale — never have I seen a man so white." FD Steele, Blanched Soldier (Liberty) Characters: James Dodd, Godfrey Emsworth

"I felt a hand inside my collar, and a voice said: "Now, you rascal, what are you doing in there?"Frank Wiles, Retired Colourman (The Strand) Characters: Holmes, Barker

[revolutionrpg]

RevolutionHQ! Looking for a place to call home in the wrestling verse? Here we are! RevolutionHQ is a NON KAYFABE wrestling based server on DISCORD.

We offer TUPPER for multiple muses, monthly events, private text channels, private para channels, admins who don’t abandon the server and more!

Currently we are looking for :

Jon Moxley, Eddie Kingston, Toni Storm, Saraya, Jaida Parker, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, Jack Perry, Penelope Ford, Carmelo Hayes, Matt Cardona, Grayson Waller, LA Knight, Ava, Stevie Turner, Pretty Deadly, Ricky Starks, Iyo Sky, Renee Paquette, Hangman Adam Page, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Naomi, Bo Dallas, Cody Rhodes, Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, Kris Statlander, Megan Bayne, Allie Katch, Wes Lee, Brody King, Malakai Black, Cathy Kelley, Tony D’Angelo, Adriana Rizzo, Channing Stacks Lorenzo, Lash Legend, Jakara Jackson, Austin Gunn, Colten Gunn, Bayley, Carmella, Corey Graves, Pat Mcafee, Alba Fyre, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Stephanie Vaquer … and many more

[wankerwatch]

Commons Vote

On: Finance (No. 2) Bill: Third Reading

Ayes: 215 (98.6% Con, 0.9% Ind, 0.5% DUP) Noes: 19 (94.7% SNP, 5.3% PC) Absent: ~416

Likely Referenced Bill: Finance (No. 2) Act 2010

Description: A Bill to grant certain duties, to alter other duties, and to amend the law relating to the National Debt and the Public Revenue, and to make further provision in connection with finance.

Originating house: Commons Current house: Unassigned Bill Stage: Royal Assent

Individual Votes:

Ayes

Conservative (211 votes)

Aaron Bell Alan Mak Alberto Costa Alec Shelbrooke Alex Burghart Alex Chalk Alicia Kearns Alok Sharma Amanda Milling Andrew Griffith Andrew Jones Andrew Lewer Andrew Murrison Andrew Percy Andrew Selous Andy Carter Angela Richardson Anna Firth Anne Marie Morris Anne-Marie Trevelyan Anthony Browne Antony Higginbotham Ben Everitt Ben Spencer Ben Wallace Bernard Jenkin Bill Wiggin Bim Afolami Bob Blackman Bob Seely Brandon Lewis Caroline Ansell Caroline Nokes Charles Walker Cherilyn Mackrory Chris Clarkson Chris Grayling Chris Green Chris Philp Conor Burns Craig Tracey Craig Williams Damian Hinds Daniel Kawczynski Danny Kruger David Davis David Duguid David Jones David Rutley David Simmonds Dean Russell Dehenna Davison Derek Thomas Desmond Swayne Duncan Baker Edward Argar Edward Leigh Elizabeth Truss Elliot Colburn Esther McVey Felicity Buchan Fiona Bruce Gagan Mohindra Gareth Bacon Gareth Davies Gareth Johnson Gary Sambrook Gavin Williamson Geoffrey Clifton-Brown Gillian Keegan Graham Brady Graham Stuart Greg Hands Greg Smith Guy Opperman Harriett Baldwin Heather Wheeler Helen Whately Holly Mumby-Croft Huw Merriman Iain Duncan Smith Iain Stewart Jack Brereton Jack Lopresti Jackie Doyle-Price Jacob Rees-Mogg Jacob Young James Cartlidge James Cleverly James Davies James Duddridge James Sunderland James Wild Jane Hunt Jane Stevenson Jeremy Quin Jerome Mayhew Jo Churchill John Glen John Howell John Lamont Jonathan Djanogly Jonathan Gullis Julia Lopez Julian Lewis Julian Smith Julian Sturdy Justin Tomlinson Katherine Fletcher Kelly Tolhurst Kemi Badenoch Kevin Hollinrake Kieran Mullan Kit Malthouse Laura Farris Laura Trott Lee Rowley Leo Docherty Lia Nici Liam Fox Lisa Cameron Louie French Lucy Frazer Luke Hall Marcus Jones Mark Fletcher Mark Francois Mark Garnier Mark Logan Martin Vickers Matt Hancock Matt Warman Matthew Offord Mel Stride Michael Ellis Michael Fabricant Michael Gove Michael Tomlinson Mike Freer Mike Wood Mims Davies Neil O'Brien Nick Fletcher Nick Gibb Nicola Richards Nigel Huddleston Paul Beresford Paul Holmes Paul Howell Pauline Latham Penny Mordaunt Peter Aldous Peter Bottomley Philip Dunne Philip Hollobone Priti Patel Ranil Jayawardena Rebecca Harris Rebecca Pow Rehman Chishti Richard Bacon Richard Drax Richard Fuller Rob Butler Robbie Moore Robert Buckland Robert Courts Robert Goodwill Robert Halfon Robert Largan Robert Syms Robin Millar Robin Walker Royston Smith Sajid Javid Sally-Ann Hart Saqib Bhatti Sara Britcliffe Sarah Dines Scott Mann Selaine Saxby Shailesh Vara Sheryll Murray Simon Baynes Simon Clarke Simon Fell Simon Hart Simon Hoare Simon Jupp Stephen Metcalfe Steve Baker Steve Brine Steve Tuckwell Stuart Andrew Suzanne Webb Theo Clarke Theresa May Theresa Villiers Thérèse Coffey Tobias Ellwood Tom Hunt Tom Pursglove Tom Randall Tom Tugendhat Tracey Crouch Vicky Ford Victoria Atkins Victoria Prentis Wendy Morton Will Quince William Cash

Independent (2 votes)

Mark Menzies William Wragg

Democratic Unionist Party (1 vote)

Jim Shannon

Noes

Scottish National Party (18 votes)

Allan Dorans Amy Callaghan Angela Crawley Anne McLaughlin Brendan O'Hara Chris Law Chris Stephens David Linden Deidre Brock Joanna Cherry John Nicolson Kirsty Blackman Marion Fellows Owen Thompson Peter Grant Philippa Whitford Richard Thomson Stewart Malcolm McDonald

Plaid Cymru (1 vote)

Hywel Williams

[agendaculturaldelima]

#ProyeccionDeVida

#Retromania

🎬 “X-MEN '97'” 📺😱

🔎 Género: Serie de TV / Ciencia Ficción / Animación / Superhéroes / Acción / Aventura

⏰ Duración: 32 minutos [10 episodios]

✍️ Guión: Beau DeMayo, Stan Lee y Jack Kirby

🎼 Música: The Newton Brothers

🗯 Argumento: Charles Xavier, herido de gravedad, toma la decisión de abandonar a los integrantes de la escuela de mutantes, para recuperarse en el espacio exterior, con la ayuda de Lilandra, la reina del imperio Shi’ar. Desconcertados ante un mundo que sigue sin aceptarlos, los X-Men intentan continuar el sueño del profesor, y se encontraran ante el dilema de ser liderados por Magneto, antagonista y amigo a la vez del profesor. La serie creada por Beau DeMayo es un reboot de X-Men (1992–1997), que retoma la historia a partir de los acontecimientos con los que finaliza esta serie, poniendo a la troupe mutante ante nuevos y peligrosos desafíos.

👥 Reparto: Ray Chase (Scott Summers / Cíclope), Jennifer Hale (Jean Grey), Lenore Zann (Anna-Marie Raven / Rogue), George Buza (Henry McCoy / Bestia), Holly Chou (Júbilo Lee / Júbilo), Christopher Britton (Nathaniel Essex / Siniestro), Alison Sealy-Smith (Ororo Munroe / Tormenta), Cal Dodd (Logan / Wolverine), A. J. LoCascio (Remy LeBeau / Gambito), Matthew Waterson (Erik Lehnsherr / Magneto), Gui Agustini (Roberto da Costa / Sunspot) , Adrián Hough (Kurt Wagner / Nightcrawler), J. P. Karliak (Morfo), Isaac Robinson-Smith (Lucas Bishop / Bishop), Ross Marquand (Profesor Charles Xavier), Gil Birmingham (Daniel Lone Eagle / Forja), Eric Bauza (Los Centinelas), Catherine Disher (Valerie Cooper), Chris Potter (Nathan Summers / Cable), Lawrence Bayne (Carl Denti / X-Cutioner), Ron Rubin (Robert Edward Kelly: El Presidente) y Alyson Court (Abcissa)

📢 Dirección: Jake Castorena y Chase Conley

© Productora: Marvel Studios Animation

👤 Productor: Beau DeMayo

💻 Distribuidora: Disney+

�� País: Estados Unidos

📅 Año: 2024

📽 Estreno: Miércoles 20 de marzo

💻 Ver la Serie:

🖱 https://www.disneyplus.com/es-pe/series/x-men-97/vc1XIz90ZNH5

[wilyum]

Nick Bayne - haz 2 jack-off vids on X Hamster

[screamscenepodcast]

FROM HELL IT CAME (1957, Milner) to terrorize a Polynesian island and the American doctors living there! But, are we sure they don't deserve it?

Your deadicated hosts suffer through this B horror that stars Tod Andrews, Tina Carver, Linda Watkins, John McNamara, Gregg Palmer and many, many others, and features a creature from Paul Blaisdell.

Context setting 00:00; Synopsis 12:26; Discussion 22:07; Ranking 38:20

[nofatclips]

Egg and Soldiers by Cosmo Sheldrake from the album The Much Much How How and I - Director/Producer - May Kindred-Boothby

[theshadowstage]

A Merry Christmas to you all, from Carlyle Blackwell, Mary Pickford, John Bunny, Lillian Walker, Edwin August, Earle Williams, Marc MacDermott, Alice Joyce, G. M. Anderson, Crane Wilbur, Mabel Trunnelle, Francis Bushman, Beverly Bayne, Warren Kerrigan, Wally Van, Clara Young, Maurice Costello, and from all the other plays (whom Mr. Gallagher could not find room for), and also from the Motion Picture Magazine.

Illustration by Jack Gallagher in Motion Picture Magazine, January 1915. Internet Archive.

[dreamsequencer]

I made an ask blog for the members of Apophis Rising! Go ask them things!

The team

Damien Olsen (he/him)

Instrument: vocals, guitar, flute

Power: illusion

Lukas Jansen (he/they)

Instrument: keys

Power: phasing

Niamh Callaghan (she/they)

Instrument: bass, vox

Power: flight

Jack Baynes (they/them)

Instrument: guitar, vox

Power: pyrokinesis

Aino Järvinen (she/her)

Instrument: drums

Power: n/a ("guy in the chair")

Tapio Isotalo (he/him)

Instrument: violin, vox

Power: magic-user

Ronan Callaghan (he/him)

Instrument: n/a (not a member of the band, but their main guitar tech)

Power: flight

[holmesillustrations]

Vote for your favourite, the top 9 will proceed in the bracket. Since theyre all different shapes and sizes, make sure to click into the full views!

Paget Eliminations

Other Artist Eliminations

Full captions and details for each illustration below the cut:

"There cannot be the least doubt in the world that it has been written by two persons." W.H. Hyde, Reigate Squires (Harper’s Weekly) Characters: Mr Acton, Holmes, Col Hayter, Watson

Collier’s cover FD Steele, Norwood Builder (Collier’s) Characters: Holmes

"He carried a large old-fashioned carpetbag." FD Steele, Six Napoleons (Collier’s) Characters: Mr Sandeford

"The light from the window streamed across the shrubbery." FD Steele, Wisteria Lodge (Collier’s) Characters: Sgt Baynes, Holmes

"Beside it sat the dead man, leaning back in his chair." Gilbert Holiday, Devil's Foot (The Strand) Characters: Mortimer Tregennis

"The Cipher - and the man who solved it." Frank Wiles, Valley of Fear (The Strand) Characters: Holmes

"Who are you?" he asked, as he advanced. "What are you loitering there for?" Frank Wiles, Valley of Fear (The Strand) Characters: Scowrers, Menzies (Mine engr.)

"I sprang to my feet, for the expression upon the millionaire's face was fiendish in its intensity, and he had raised his great knotted fist. Holmes smiled languidly and reached his hand out for his pipe." Alfred Gilbert, Thor Bridge (The Strand) Characters: Watson, Gibson, Holmes

"At this moment I chanced to glance at Holmes, and saw a most singular intentness in his expression." HK Elcock, Sussex Vampire (The Strand) Characters: Mrs Mason, Robert Ferguson, Baby Ferguson, Jack Ferguson, Holmes, Watson

"Holmes raised his pipe, languidly smiling." FD Steele, Three Gables (Liberty) Characters: Holmes, Steve Dixie

"My door was flung open and Ian Murdoch staggered into the room." HK Elcock, Lion's Mane (The Strand) Characters: Insp Bardle, Holmes, Ian Murdoch, Stackhurst

"I also have a question to ask you, Sir Robert," he said in his sternest tone." Frank Wiles, Shoscombe Old Place (The Strand) Characters: Watson, Sir Robert, Holmes

[eleventhdoctorsangel]

The hunter and the dauntless leader

Summary: Y/N and jack find themselves alone in the divergent world. Now both having to by time till Sam, dean, and cas find them. But they had to choose a faction. That faction was dauntless.

Cass walked out of the room so that he could go get a book. It only took a few minutes before Cass could back he opened the book and put it on the table. “Anubis. Guardian of the dead. The ancient Egyptians believed that when you die Anubis would weight your heart on his scale against justice’s feather.” Cass said. “Yeah the weighing of the heart ceremony right but that wasn’t Anubis. That was Osiris. We met him.” Sam said. “Major dick.” Dean said. “Yeah I hate him. He tried to force me to marry him.” I said. “He did what?” Eric asked. “Yeah he tried to make a deal with us where if we kept our end of the deal than he would help us but if we didn’t then I would have to marry him. But when we did he wasn’t too happy.” I said. “Osiris is Anubis’s father and heaven passed over him when they enlisted his son.” Cass said. “Anubis works for Heaven?” Lily asked. “He doesn’t work for heaven. He works with heaven. When god left sorry long story we needed a new judge and Anubis was the obvious choice.” Cass said. “So heaven hired a temp to make the soul train kept running on time?” Dean asked. “Right. Great. So we summon him.” Sam said. “You can do that? You can summon a god?” Lily asked. “Done it before.” Dean said.

Eric and I went down to get the items that we needed to summon Anubis. “So why didn’t you mention that before?” Eric asked. “Would you have honestly believed me? I mean it’s not every day you hear hey you know the Egyptian god Anubis. Well me and my brothers made a deal with his father Osiris and if we didn’t keep our end of the deal I would have to marry him.” I said. “I believe everything else didn’t I.” Eric said as he put an arm around my waist. “Did you really or did you just tell me that to make me feel better. I mean we haven’t gone a case yet to prove that I wasn’t lying.” I said. “Four killed you and our baby but when Cass brought you back I knew you were telling me the truth.” Eric said. “But he wasn’t able you bring the baby back.” I said. “I know. I know.” Eric said as he kissed my head. “We should hurry and get back before they come and look for us.” I said. “Yeah I don’t want them to be thinking we are trying to have another kid.” Eric said which made me laugh a little. “Yeah Dean could probably just sense when a guy takes off my shirt.” I said. “You wanna test that theory out?” “Eric asked. “As fun as that sounds we need to get back.” I said. “I guess your right but give me a kiss before we go back.” Eric said. I laugh as I shook my head. “Fine.” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck standing on my toes and kissed him. Eric put his arms around my waist as he lifted me from the ground. My legs wrapped themselves around his waist. Eric had one arms under my butt as the other slowly started to go under my shirt. “Hey. Hey. That’s enough you.” Dean said as he walked into the room. I pulled away from Eric as I started to giggle. “I told you.” I said. “That you did.” Eric said as he kissed my nose and put me back down. “Did you two find everything before you decided to try and get one in?’ Dean asked. “Yes we did.” I said as I started to grab what we needed. “Well come one then we can’t waste any time.” Dean said. “We know dean.” I said. Dean walked out of the room went Eric and I following close behind him.

We got back into the main room of the bunker where Sam and Dean already had moved the tables so they wouldn’t get in the way. I went over to one the tables and sat down the supplies. I felt an arm wrap around me. “It’s going to work.” Eric said as he kissed the side of my head. “I know. I’m just worried is all.” I said. “I know. But like you told me you have brought people back before.” Eric said. “It just feels different with Jack. We just never brought a Nephilim before.” I said. “I know. If anyone can do it. It is you guys.” Eric said. I smiled as I turn to look at him. I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I love you. You know that. I love you so much.” I said. “I love you too. I don’t know how exactly you and Jack ended up where you two did. But I’m so grateful that you did. You have been the best thing to have ever happened to me. I don’t know what my life would have been like if you didn’t come into it.” Eric said. “If we didn’t meet than four would have killed you. I know that for a fact.” I said. “That’s true. You saved me. I will do anything to keep you safe. Hell I’ll even fight god. You don’t know or meet god right?” Eric said. “Well.” I said. “Unbelievable.” Eric said.  

As Dean was painting the symbol on the ground and Sam was reading the spelling when Lily walked up to him and handed him a book. “The instruction manual.” Lily said. “Thanks. Alright we’re almost set. Just got to get one more thing. Eric do you mind helping me out. Y/n can you go grab some candles?” Sam said. “Sure.” Eric said. “Got it Sammy.” I said walking out of the room to go grab a few candles. I wasn’t sure how many Sam wanted me to grab so I grabbed six and some matches. Once I grabbed them and made my way back. “Okay so I wasn’t sure how made you wanted me to grab so I brought six.” I said. “That perfect kiddo.” Dean said as he took them from me. “Here.” I said as I handed him the matches. I looked to see that Sam and Eric had brought Jack body in here. I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes as I went over to Eric nuzzling my face into his chest. Eric kissed my head as he wrapped his arms around me. “Where’s Cass?” I asked. “Some trouble in heaven. We’ll pray to him when we need him.” Sam said. I nodded.

Dean started to light the candles and placed them on the pints of the star as Sam started to say the spell. “Ya ‘anubays, yda ‘uwzuris. Astamae ‘iilaa suti. Ya ‘anubis, ‘ant min yazan alqulbu. Astamae ‘iilaa suti. Ya ‘anubis dalil almawtaa. Aleawalim bayn alealmin maftuhatan, wa’amrak ‘an tuqadim nafsak fi eini.” Sam said. As he was saying the spell Dean gave a knife to Lily would walked into the middle of the symbol cutting her hand and got blood on the eye that was in the middle. After she did she looked to both Sam and Dean. “Give it a second.” Sam said. Then was a rusting sound then there was Anubis.

“Mm. The Winchester siblings. I must say your files have come across my desk many times. Not so much for the youngest Winchester sibling. But it seems that you avoided death yet again but the same could not be the same for your daughter.” Anubis said. My mouth dropped in shock. I felt Eric’s grip on me tighten. Sam and Dean also looked at me in shock. “It was a girl?” I asked. Anubis looked at me in confusion. “Did you not know?” Anubis asked. I shook my head as I wiped the tears away. “We never met? I mean we’ve died.” Sam said. “Yeah. A lot.” Dean said. “I’m more of a back of the house kind of guy. Death and her subordinates get all the face time. I get stuck with the paperwork.” Anubis said. “Psuhin pencils damning souls. Tough work.” Dean said. Anubis started to laugh. “Just as snappy as advertised. What do you want?” Anubis asked. “It’s me. I need to know where I’m going when I die.” Lily said. “Hmm. That’s unorthodox. Against protocol. But I suppose we’re already here.” Anubis said. He opened his briefcase and pulled out an abacus. The beads on the top half were white while the ones on the bottom were black. “An abacus?” Sam asked. “You were expecting a scale and a feather? May I?” Anubis said as he held out his hand to Lily. He grabbed onto Lily’s hand and placed it above the abacus then closed his eyes. We watched as the beads went back and forth turning from white and black. In the end more beads were black than white. Anubis opened his eyes and gave a sad look to Lily. “I’m sorry.” Anubis said. “No.” Lily said as Anubis put the abacus back into his briefcase. “Change it.” Sam said. “I can’t.” Anubis said. “Well looks like you’re not goin anywhere.” Dean said. “Yeah. The lore was pretty clear Anubis can be bound in a ring or foinikelaio.” Sam said. “Aka palm oil. Just so happens we had some laying around.” Dean said. “This is a miscalculation.” Anubis said smugly. “Fine. Change it. Let her into Heaven.” Sam said. “I’m an accountant. I don’t have that kind of power.” Anubis said. “Yeah right. Like you or God has never made an exception?” Sam asked. “That’s right. Because god doesn’t decide. I don’t decide. You do each of you your individual choices all tallied up at the precise moment of your death.” Anubis said. We all glared at him. “Keep me here. Try and kill me. It is not going to change Lily Sunder’s fate. But it might change yours.” Anubis said. Sam let out a sigh as he broke the seal on the symbol. “Smart boy.” Anubis said. Just like that he was gone. 

Eric and I started to pick up the candles from the ground as Sam went to talk to Lily as she was getting her things. “Lily i- I know you’re upset but you can still do the spell.” Sam said. “That wasn’t the deal. I’ve got to go.” Lily said as she started to walk away. “We have nothing to offer you noth- nothing to say but. He’s our kid!” Sam said. This made Lily stop in her tracks. “I’m sorry.” Lily said. “You know what I think? Burning all that soul? You’re not even human anymore not really.” Dean said as pushed himself up from the table he was leaning against and walked over to where Sam and Lily were. “Dean.” Sam said. “Otherwise how could you ever, ever let anyone go through what you went through? The pain of losing a kid? Don’t do this to us.” Dean said. “Fine.” Lily said.

Eric and I lit the candles as Sam and dean got everything else ready. “I’m ready.” Lily said as she picked up the book she had given Sam earlier. “Cass I hope you can hear me. We’ve got Jack. His shell it’s ready to go. Here’s hoping that you’re staring at him right now. So if you are then un do you thing okay? Amen.” Dean said. “Oh-doh oh oh-zuhm-ah, oh-ee, ah-oh-ee-vee…” Lily said as she started to say the spell. I grabbed on to Eric’s hand. “Oh oh. Oh-doh…” Lily said. Please work please. Please. Jack let out a gasp as he shot up from the table. Jack was breathing heavily and started to cough. “Jack. Hey.” Sam said. “Hey hey hey.” Dean said. “Read this. Jack read this.” Sam said handing Jack the paper with the rest of the spell on it. “Oh koh-nuh-ga-ma-fuh-luh-guh ah-oh-ee-vee-ah-ee..ee-duh-luh-vah..oh-ee-vee-ah-ee,ee-duh-luh-vah-juh-ah-um-kah-dah.” Jack said couching but finished the spell and we watched as his eyes glowed. Jack looked at us confused. “Was that my soul?” Jack asked. “How do you feel?” Dean asked. “Good. I feel good.” Jack said laughing a little. Dean was quick to pull him into a hug. “It’s good to have you back.” Sam said. “Lily thank you.” Dean said as he started to walk away. “Yeah. Lily” Sam said but stopped when he looked over to Lily who was sitting down in a chair not moving. “Lily?” Dean asked. That’s when I knew she was gone. “Thank you Lily.” I said quietly to myself. “Y/n why don’t you take Jack and Eric to the kitchen and get some grub into him.” Dean said. “You got it. Come on now I gotta feed all of my boys.” I said. “You have to stop calling us that we are not your boys.” Dean said making me stop in my tracks and playfully glare at him. “Yeah we are.” Eric said. “Yeah I know.” Dean grumbled. I smirked as I turned around. “So burgers?” I asked as I walked out of the room. “Yes please.” Jack said as he and Eric followed me.

I hummed to myself as I made the burgers and veggie burgers for Sam. Jack went to his room real quick to get a little more comfortable. Eric was in the kitchen helping me cook. “You okay?” I asked. “I guess I’m just not use to all of this yet. But I guess it will take a bit to get used to it.” Eric said. I nodded. “Yeah I guess going from a dauntless leader to a hunter won’t be easy.But it gets easier once you get the hang out it. Can you get the beer out of the fridge and tell me if I need to send the boys to get some more.” I said. “You got it boss.” Eric said as he kissed me. Eric walked over to the fridge and opened it. “There’s four bottles. Do you want me to go tell Sam and Dean?” Eric said. “Please.” I said. Eric nodded as he walked out of the room to go find Sam and Dean. I walked over to get the bacon and started to cook it. “Do you need help Y/n?” Jack asked as he walked into the Kitchen. “Can you get the plates and put them on the table?” I asked. Jack nodded and went to grab the plates taking them over to the table. I went and grabbed the buns and sat them on the metal island. I could hear Jack’s footsteps as he walked closer to me. “Is everything okay Jack?” I asked. “I think I should tell Eric.” Jack said. “Jack.” I said. “No Y/n I need to tell him.” Jack said. “I think he understands.” I said. “But he doesn’t know Y/n and I don’t want to keep it from him.” Jack said. “You two don’t have to get it from me I know.” Eric said as he walked back into the kitchen. “Eric I am truly sorry.” Jack said. “Jack it’s okay. I understand. I always knew that you felt something towards her even if Y/n didn’t see it.” Eric said. “So you’re not upset?” I asked. “No. Sam and Dean said that they will be back in ten minutes.” Eric said. Jack let out a sigh of relief. “The burgers should be done by then.” I said.

Cass got back at the same time that Sam and Dean did. Cass told us that the angles in heaven knew roughly where Michael was. By that time I had already started to plate the burgers and the boys had put them on the table for me. We finally sat down at the table on one side was Sam, Dean and I. The other side was Jack, Cass and Eric. Jack was the first one to start eating everyone else kinda just watched him. He just gave us his confused puppy look. “Is uh something wrong?” Jack asked. “No. No not at all.” Sam said. “Just damn glad to have you back.” Dean said. “Yeah.” Sam said. “And we know where Michael is. Not quite sure how you pulled that one off.” Dean said. Cass and Jack shared a look like they knew something we didn’t. I hated to feeling that it gave me. “Well we uh we still don’t know where dark Kaia is or the spear.” Cass said. “yeah but we will. We’ll figure it out. We’ll find her. I mean we found her before.” Sam said. “That’s right. And then Michael. And that son of bitch is gonna pay.” Dean said. The he lifted up his bottle of beer. “Come on.” Dean said. We all followed Dean’s lead and we had a toast.

Taglist: @jaiboomer11 @darkqueennox​ @letsthedogpackandthecats @sassyslytherinshai @anaszpan​

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Erlikosaurus andrewsi

By Ripley Cook 

Etymology: Demon-King Reptile

First Described By: Perle, 1980

Classification: Dinosauromorpha, Dinosauriformes, Dracohors, Dinosauria, Saurischia, Eusaurischia, Theropoda, Neotheropoda, Averostra, Tetanurae, Orionides, Avetheropoda, Coelurosauria, Tyrannoraptora, Maniraptoromorpha, Maniraptoriformes, Maniraptora, Therizinosauria, THerizinosauridea, Therizinosauridae

Status: Extinct

Time and Place: About 90 million years ago, in the Turonian of the Late Cretaceous 

Erlikosaurus is found in the Bayan Shireh Formation in Dornogovi, Mongolia 

Physical Description: Erlikosaurus was a kind of Therizinosaur, the very bulky feathered dinosaurs with long, pointed claws extending from their hands. They’re weird in other ways, too - they have backward-facing hip bones like those of birds and Ornithischians, and giant pot-bellies to let them digest large amounts of plant material. As such, they stood up almost as vertical as people do - rather than horizontally like… all other dinosaurs. Erlikosaurus had a long neck, a squat body, short legs and a short tail; while its arms were normal length, it also had very long curved claws, like other therizinosaurs. It had very large and long nostrils for a therizinosaur, and a very high number of teeth compared to its relatives. Interestingly enough, therizinosaurs like Erlikosaurus also had swollen, pneumatized braincases, which allowed them to be lighter weight and potentially cool off quicker. Erlikosaurus also, unlike other Therizinosaurs, ahd long and slender claws on its feet. It may have been around six meters long. Like other therizinosaurs, it would have been covered with feathers all over its body, and potentially had very primitive long feathers on its arms like wings.

Diet: Erlikosaurus, like other therizinosaurs, was an herbivore. 

By Jack Wood 

Behavior: Erlikosaurus is a fascinating dinosaur behavior-wise because we actually have a decent number of scans of its brain, which may teach us aspects of its behavior. Erlikosaurus had a very well developed sense of smell, hearing, and balanced, which means that it retained a lot of the traits of carnivorous theropods - and probably used them to its advantage as an herbivore. It also probably was able to sense oncoming predators well and have complex social behavior. The range of its mouth, however, was narrower than that of its close carnivorous relatives - indicating that herbivorous dinosaurs, much like herbivorous mammals, had smaller mouth gapes than carnivores. With complicated social behavior, long claws, and good senses, Erlikosaurus would have been incredibly paranoid - and dangerous - ready to fend off anyone that would have threatened their family groups with those long scythe claws. As a social dinosaur, Erlikosaurus would have probably taken care of its young, and been warm blooded. The scythe claws, when not used in defense, would have been helpful in gathering plants down from the trees, much like with sloths today.

Ecosystem: The Bayan Shireh Environment was one of many such ecosystems found in the mid to late Cretaceous, showcasing a wide variety of animals that were almost - but not quite - like their latest Cretaceous counterparts. Here was a braided river environment, going through season wet and dry seasons as the mud and sand interchanged from one another leading to a variety of rock types and depositional environments. There were many water plants and flowering plants lining the shores, giving it a lush and green feel for at least part of the year - and giving Erlikosaurus something to eat! There were also fish, molluscs, the mammal Tsagandelta, and turtles making frequent appearances in the environment. Unnamed crocodylian relatives and Azhdarchid pterosaurs were present, but most of the charismatic animals present were other dinosaurs. Erlikosaurus wasn’t the only Therizinosaur, and also lived with Segnosaurus and Enigmosaurus. The very large, weird, and lopsided sauropod Erketu graced the treetops, slowly foraging on food, while the much smaller Ornithomimosaur Garudimimus scurried about between them all. Ankylosaurs went absolutely wild here, represented by Talarurus, Maleevus, and Tsagantegia. There were two small bipedal Ceratopsians, Graciliceratops and Microceratus, and the early hadrosauroid Gobihadros. There was also a mystery dinosaur, Amtosaurus, which has no affinity beyond “Ornithischian” at this point in time. As for predators, there was the very large raptor Achillobator and the small tyrannosaur Alectrosaurus - both similar in size to one another, and both giant dangers to the roaming herds of Erlikosaurus! 

By Scott Reid 

Other: Erlikosaurus was a very advanced therizinosaur, similar to later members of the group like Therizinosaurus rather than Early Cretaceous varieties. As such, it shows that the more classic therizinosaur body shape was around by the “mid” Cretaceous. In addition, it may or may not be the same animal as the other therizinosaurs found in its home - more research is needed to determine as such.

~ By Meig Dickson

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Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain

There are also the terms of the trade, the jargon. Every trade has one. You already know some of our terms. ‘86′ is the best known. A dish is 86′ed when there’s no more. But you can use the term for someone who’s just been fired, or about to be fired, or for a bar customer who’s no longer welcome.

One doesn’t refer to a table of six or a table of eight; it’s a six-top or an eight-top. Two customers at a table are simply a deuce. ‘Weeded’ means ‘in the weeds’, ‘behind’, ‘in the shit’ or ‘dans la merde’ — a close cousin and possible outcome of being ‘slammed’, ‘buried’ or ‘hit’.

A waitron or waitron unit is an old-school ’70s term — gender non-specific — for floor personnel, who are also, at staff mealtime, referred to as the floor or the family or simply scum. And the meal itself becomes —particularly if it’s the usual trinity of chicken, pasta and salad — the shaft meal or the gruel.

Then there’s the equipment. Since the introduction of the Cuisinart, any food processor can be referred to as the Queez; the square and oblong metal sauce containers are six-pans or eight-pans depending on size, and the long, shallow ones hotels. The cook’s spoons with holes or slots are, unsurprisingly, female, and the unslotted ones, male.

Meez is mise-en-place: your set up, your station prep, your assembled ingredients and, to some extent, your state of mind. A la minute is made-to-order from start to finish. Order!, when yelled at a cook means ‘Make initial preparations’ such as searing, half-cooking, setting up for finishing. Fire! means ‘Finish cooking’ and get ready for ‘pick up’. Food ready to be picked up is put in the window or en la ventana — also called the pass, the slide or the shelf. The ‘slide’ refers to the slotted rack where dupes or tickets containing orders hang. So you could say, ‘What orders do I have hanging?’ and the reply could be, ‘You got two steak’ on order for the deuce on five, three soles are fired.’ A cook might ask for an all-day, a total number of a particular item both ordered and fired, with temperatures, meaning degrees of doneness. And on the fly means Rush!

A wipe means just what it sounds like: a last-minute plate-cleaning. Marijuana or mota or chronic is chopped parsley. Jiz is any reduced liquid, like demi-glace. When one adds whole butter to jiz, one is mounting, as in monter-au-beurre. Cook well-done translates to ‘Burn it!’ or ‘Murder it!’ or ‘Kill it!’ When one finds oneself waiting too long for a well-done steak to finish cooking, and it’s holding up the rest of the order, one can suggest throwing it in the jukebox, or giving it a little radar love in the micro or microwave.

The latex surgical gloves we rarely wear are anal research gloves, and one usually puts them on with some theatrical flourish, snapping and grinning menacingly, accompanied by suggestions to ‘Turn left and cough’ or ‘Grab your ankles, ’cause here comes papi chulo’. Those paper toques are coffee filters or clown hats, the checked pants we all wear, simply checks, our jackets and aprons, whites.

When the boss arrives, it’s ‘Elvis is in the building’ or ‘Pssst, desastre es aquí! And the usual nicknames apply to any and all: cooks, waiters, busboys and runners alike. Crude irony abounds. Cachundo, meaning ‘piece of ass’, might be applied to a particularly homely runner. Caliman, meaning ‘strong man’, is reserved for a weak cook, Rayo, or ‘flash’ to a slow-poke; Baboso, or ‘drooling idiot’ to, well, any drooling idiot. Any blond, well-scrubbed waiter can become ‘Opie’, ‘Richie Cunningham’ or ‘Doogie Howser Motherfucker’. Stocky busboy? Sounds like Burro to me. When referring to themselves collectively, my Mexican carnales like La Raza or La M (pronounced la emaayy), or La Mafia. Externs from culinary school, working for free as a ‘learning experience’ — which by itself translates to ‘lots of work and no money’ — are quickly tagged as FNG (Fucking New Guy), or Mel for mal carne (bad meat). Army, short for ‘army cook’, or the classic but elegant shoe, short for ‘shoemaker’, are the perennial insults for a lousy or ‘slophouse’ cook.

There are the usual terms of endearment, all perfectly acceptable in casual conversation between cooks: motherfucker (a compliment), cocksucker, sunofbeech, dipshit, scumbag, scum-sucker, dumb-fuck, rat-bastard, slackjaw, idiota, bruto, animale, asesino, mentiroso, whining little bed-wetter, turd, tortuga, strunze, salaud, salopard, chocha podrida, pendejo, silly cunt, seso de pollo, spazz, goofball, bucket-head, chucho, papi-chulo, sweet-cheeks, cupcakes, love-chunks, culero, shit-stain, cum-gargler, and so on. Asshole, strangely, is serious, to be used only when genuinely angry, and any expression involving a person’s wife/mother/girlfriend/boyfriend or family member directly (with the notable exception of motherfucker) is strictly off-limits. You may well have seen your grill man’s wife jacking off motorists for spare change on West Street — but you don’t talk about it. Ever.

A lot of cook talk is transplanted from the fringes of military jargon. One doesn’t carry, one humps. To be set up is to be squared away. He sucks it up and endures, digs in for the rush, takes a bad hit if one station is disproportionately busy — is simply fucked or fucked in the ass when things go badly . . . at which point, one’s buddy hopefully steps in and bails you out, covers your ass, saves your bacon.

Aspirins are called crunchies because we eat them like candy. Finger cots are condoms, pronounced with Spanish inflection. The nail on which completed orders are spindled is the spike. Any round metal container placed in a water bath is a bain (pronounced bayn) from bain-marie pronounced baahn maree), or simply a crock. The life we live is la puta vida, ‘this bitch of a life’, and one might  well bemoan a sorry state of affairs with a cry of Porca miseria! (Pig of misery!) or Qué doloré!, ‘What pain!’

The slide, when full of dupes, is called the board, as in, ‘The board is full’. Food currently being loaded by a runner or waiter is My hand, as in ‘Where’s that fucking steak?’ Reply: ‘My hand, Chef!’ A hot nut is used when an expeditor wants something now: ‘I gotta hot nut for that sole on table six’. This is often for a VIP, or ‘Very important Pendejo’ or PPX, or soignee muthafucka —meaning friend of the owner, or the man himself. So make sure to move that food out rush or STAT.

Applying what we’ve learned to a battlefield situation, one might find oneself saying: ‘I gotta hot nut for that six-top on seven, Cabrón! It’s been fired for ten fucking minutos, pinche tortuga. What? You don’t got yer meez together, asesino? Get that shit in the window, you seso de pollo pinche grill man — throw it in the fucking jukebox if you have to. The rest of the order my hand! And don’t forget to give it a wipe and some mota and a squirt of that red jiz on the way out, I got shit hanging here and you’re falling in the fucking weeds!’

‘Working,’ might come the reply. ‘I getting buried here. How come the sauté no getting slammed like me? I take it in the ass all night! How ’bout table ocho? Fire? I can go on eight?’

Which might inspire this: ‘Eight my hand, baboso! Eight fucking gone! Eight fucking dying en la ventana waiting for Doogie Howser Motherfucker to pick up! You got dead dupes back there, idiota — what the fuck are you doing? You are in the shit! Hey, Rayo! Step in and bail the culero out!’ (pp. 224-28)