#Its not even like I'm attracted to him I'm a lesbian

[too-many-rooks]

Thomas Levin as Jannick in 'Baby Fever' (2022)

Continuing my whistle-stop tour of Thomas Levin's career for gif making practice, this time where he appears as the manager/owner(?) of a sperm bank.

(He hates his incompetent coworkers so much)

[askmrtorgue]

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[genderkoolaid]

I feel like you would get this, seeing this comment section kinda hurt. The OP they are responding to is a non-binary trans man who was talking about feeling uncomfortable because they still feel attraction to lesbians and have felt very excluded. He’s wary around certain lesbians because they center their ideology around hating men regardless of gender identity and has faced a lot of anti-transmasculinity and transmisogyny. While most lesbians are wonderful amazing people there’s no denying that some do hold an innate hatred for men, not saying they need to like men. I fully understand lesbians and predatory cis men but there’s definitely lesbians who would date trans men. It can be scary for a trans man to come out or start transitioning because at what point do they become too masculine or too much of a man for their friends. There were even people in the comments saying the same anti-man statements who identify as a he/him nonbinary lesbian. This topic is very hard to hear for me as a closeted genderfluid person because my best friend is a man hating lesbian and I dread the day I can actually begin transitioning and she turns her back on me like these people. Queer spaces in general can be hard to occupy as a multi gendered person because of those people as well as mlm/nblm spaces that say ‘fem aligned dni’. In general I don’t think we should police labels and everyone has their own interpretation and I think labels are just a suggestion anyway but I suppose that makes sense for a genderfluid bisexual person.

These people just straight up do not understand the gender diversity that has always existed in lesbian spaces (by which I mean spaces built & catering to queer women & those seen as women).

There have always been trans men in lesbian spaces. You aren't obligated to fuck them, but they have always been there. There are pages and pages of writing out there not only by trans male dykes, but by the lesbian cis women who love them and still identify as lesbians while in relationships with them. There are trans guys at dyke bars right now as we speak having a great time.

Its not surprising to me that there are he/him NB lesbians supporting this. There are a lot of people out there who, because they don't identify As Men, mentally distance themselves from those who do despite any similarities. It's okay for THEM to be lesbians, and it's transphobic to erase THEIR lesbianism because they are Non-Men™! but once you cross that line you become the enemy. It's very "no you gyns I'm TOTALLY different than those gross tbros i promise im not a man at all and i will never want to be one so im allowed in the club!" The same people also throw multigender people under the bus. Trying to figure out your nonbinary in this environment is hellish (I speak from experience) because people pretend like they are super accepting of nonbinary people, until you realize that if you ever think of yourself as even slightly male people will start seeing you as a predatory invader trying to Force Lesbians To Date Men! Very "complex gender for me but not for thee"

Anyways. Twitter is not a good place. Anon, I hope you find better friends. Not every queer space is this hostile to us, I promise. There are people out there who genuinely work to make our community better and I hope you find them.

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[sexyslut033]

Employee Relations

I'd been at the company of my dreams for 18 months before everything fell apart.

I'd grown up with a strongly misogynistic father who wouldn't let my mother work, and tried to stop me from going to college. That's why when I found the feminist magazine, my life changed. I was able to find strong role models for a striving, intellectual life. Once I got to college I majored in women's studies, and managed to secure a dream job at the magazine that changed my life after graduation.

They had a small staff, so I was brought on as the executive assistant for the company's trailblazing founder, Cate Farmer. It wasn't writing yet, but it gave me firsthand involvement in a project which I valued more than anything else, and she quickly became mentor and friend. I felt more than ever that I had finally escaped the oppressive ideology of my father. Then the collapse.

I walked into work on the worst day of my life ready for a new day of striving to make the world better, though the presence of more cars in the parking lot than ever before did confuse me. When I entered, the office was in chaos. I found one of the copy editors, Natasha, and only subconsciously noticed the normally-icy girl was wearing a bit of makeup before she gave me the news. Cate had been ousted by the board of directors after having been found to have embezzled a fortune from our investors.

I barely had time to process the betrayal and mourn the loss of my mentor before Natasha lowered her voice conspiratorially.

"The board have put in one of their own. I only saw him for a second, but he was ~really cute~."

The comment was completely out of left field. I'd been fairly certain Natasha was a lesbian, if not out of natural attraction then out of sheer refusal to engage with the masculine sex. Yet here she was, gossiping about our new boss' looks, and giggling like a schoolgirl about it? Before I could interrogate the strange behavior, however, a handsome young man in a pressed suit put his hand on my arm. "You're Sammy, right?"

I flinched at his touch, and said poisonously, "I'm Sam, yeah, why?"

The young man merely smiled bemusedly, frustratingly handsome. "Well, you are the assistant to the CEO, aren't you?"

I looked at him, bewildered. "Yeah, obviously."

"Well then I think you're about 20 minutes late, so you should probably cut it with the indignation and go make an appearance. Rick is waiting for you in his office."

Everything about the interaction was off putting. Under Cate, we'd never been worried about petty details like the time the workday started. The way that the man spoke so possessively, though, about our space and our time, in this holy temple of feminist self-actualization, nearly made me sick. He snapped me out of my shock and back into fury, if at least more functional fury, by tapping his watch condescendingly. Even as I stalked away angrily, though, I thought about how annoyingly handsome he was. -Its always been maddening, my weakness for alpha corporate types.-

This thought once more stopped me in my tracks. I didn't have a weakness for corporate alpha types. The only boyfriend I'd ever had was a shy poet. I found men like that revolting. And yet I couldn't deny it. My heart (and something) else was fluttering, I noted in indignation, as I thought about his easy confidence, his natural condescension for my weak female mind. Before I could interrogate this even more concerning thought, however, I found myself stepping into 'Rick's' office.

"Uh, Rick?" I said, awkwardly. His chair was turned away from the door, though I could smell his cologne already. Inconsequentially I noted the room had already been redesigned. A commanding, earthen, overwhelmingly masculine voice issued "Mr. Harding to you. You are 23 minutes late." The voice crashed over me in waves, reducing me nearly to a puddle immediately. Every smart comment I had thought up to cut down his male arrogance melted, and I said, nearly in tears, "I'm so sorry Mr. Harding, it wont happen again."

"Sir."

This made my knees buckle from its force, and I whimpered "I'm so sorry Mr. Harding sir, I wont disappoint you again." The sheer authority in his voice seemed to work its way not only into the control center of my brain but to drift south, pulling aside my plain panties and tickling my cunt. -I've never called it a cunt before- I thought, blankly.

"Sit." Mr. Harding turned around and I was captivated. He was the pinnacle of pure masculinity. Strong lines defined his face, his eyes betrayed immediate contempt for me and everything I believed in. "So you are my absent secretary," he said, dismissively.

"Personal assistant," I choked out against the force of his disdain.

"You are my office girl. You answer my phones and complete my commands. You are a secretary. Personal assistants, like Jared who you met earlier, require decisive independence, competence. I wouldn't trust an air headed girl like you to do that job." Something deep inside me tried in vain to rebel against his assessment. However, his voice and looks seemed to clear the virgin land of my brain, throwing up new buildings and roads with ease, generating new pathways and ideas in an instant. I was an airhead. I knew it. That's why I worked as a secretary. Real jobs were for organized, ambitious types. -Men- I thought, quietly. The force of realization left me dazed on the chair, head back, legs open for him to see my -boring- panties.

"Lucky for you, being my secretary is a very important position." I stirred at the comment, trying and failing to meet those jet black eyes. "You help keep morale up by looking sexy and being helpful. You may be a vapid party girl who can't handle serious office work, but you're great at filling coffee, prancing around the office in those skyscraper heels and miniskirts. Everyone loves it when you lean over their desks, revealing that hot cunt you wouldn't dare to cover up. You know your pussy and your body are your value. But as long as you look hot, we're happy to keep you around."

At that point, the identity shattering force of the speech made me black out. When I came to, I was in a fashionable bar somewhere. Mr. Harding sat across from me, eyes roving hungrily over the low-cut dress I discovered I was wearing. Everywhere his eyes fell tingled pleasurably. I smiled vapidly, and he nodded to the goblet of champagne before me. "Drink up slut, that's worth more than you are." I giggled thoughtlessly.

These days going to work is always a blast. I love it when Mr. Harding fucks me over the desk first thing in the morning. The office always has cute boys around to give me attention throughout the day, even if I have to complete with the rest of my slut squad. That's ok though, any girl who gets fucked over a desk is doing their part to keep the office running. These days the office mostly creates tiktok content promoting right wing politics. We model in the videos, and get to show off our hot bodies for men all over the world. I also keep up my personal tiktok page when we're not recording for the company, which totally blew up a couple months ago, though these days I'm focusing more on my onlyfans. I have a special deal on there for any young girls who wants to learn how to be better sluts. I know my dad has my mom on that plan. She's looking super hot and fuckable these days!

I love my life.

[blacklegsanjiii]

Aahh your addition to actually girl sanji was amazing ✨ thank you

Its so funny to have them realising all the way to WCI/Wano, theyre all so silly. ALSO CHOPPER- He's new to the crew and giving them all a check up to get up to date with their physicals and he's all like 'dont worry Sanji your secret is save with me!! I wont tell anybody!!' And sanji thinks he's actually talking about the nr 3 burnmark (hc of mine that judge labeled all his children) so she's very thankful to him

Omg and the ship options... To many possibilities to choose from... Luffy going 'HES NOT A PRETTY BUT SHES A PRETTY GIRL?!!' Literally no fucks given nothing changes but he looveess the clothes and makeup nami gives sanji to wear (the liploss tastes like fruit and the dress fabric is so softt!!!)

Or sanami... Nami feeling attracted to sanji even though she's a lesbian and heaving a sexuality crisis cause is she bisexual??? But no she's still a major lesbian (or even funnier no attraction until its 'stupid guy -> stupid girl??!!!'

Honestly east blue poly would be funny as hell, so many possibilities

Also (sorry im rambling) SHES ZEFFS LITTLE GIRL 💥💥when she left with luffy, zeff 100% threatened the shit out of him (he also did this in canon but with his mind UvU) idk i fucking adore zeff and sanji protective of each other

And lastly??? All the regulars knowing??? Amazing, show stopping, ground breaking. Theyre coming to the baratie not seeing the cute waitress and when asked the staff says she has become a pirate cook of the strawhats

But whenever there's news its always talking about a guy and the wanted pictures are not so helpfull... So many possibility...

Have a nice day! Hope you had/have fun at your con :D

I'm so glad you enjoyed them! Fem!Sanji is fun to write, especially when no one knows she's a girl because how can you not know? She is Zeff's little girl! The dumb brat he gave up a leg for on a rock! She is his pride and joy, and everyone knows this!! Also, I love the idea of the burn mark and the confusion therein for Sanji because Chopper thinks she's trans masc when she's not, she's just waiting for her mom's genes to kick in more. Also the shipping, I agree with East Blue Polycule because you can fit all that in together in one go and no one is going ask questions. But I'm getting ahead of myself and skipping to the regulars first so that I can get some funny scenarios out of my head first.

First, Mihawk has watched this girl grow up and probably saw the fall out after shortly after Zeff butchered her hair. When he asked about it, he gave Zeff the most unimpressed look Zeff has ever received because good fuck he could have just braided it until they got into town? That's all he says about that because Sanji is still upset her hair is gone. Then some years later he's calling Zeff and asking when Sanji changed her gender and Zeff is confused because she hasn't but anyone and everyone are calling her a boy, even that crew she set off with. Mihawk is staring out of his office with the denden with an empty gaze as the greenhaired moron he almost slaughtered on the deck of Baratie is in his castle with one of his fellow warlords first mates and he's having a time but at least that hasn't changed.

Buggy is also probably really confused about 'Black Leg Sanji' and "his feats" and when Garp is arresting him they're debating whether or not Sanji would be a good marine until Garp calls her a boy and Buggy corrects him. Garp is staring down at the clown who looks back and is like 'wait, wait. Zeff's called her "princess" and you never questioned why he would call his son that?' to Garp's non-committal shrug of 'He's Zeff.' which, okay yeah, sure. It's Zeff but Zeff never used it in a derogatory manor. Sanji is quite literally his princess. She is the princess of the Baratie that Buggy used to do card tricks for because Zeff had no idea what the hell to do with kids.

Now onto the hilarity because East Blue Poly would be exceptionally hilarious. They all start dating and Sanji thinks Nami is going through a sexuality crisis because she's a girl where as Nami thinks Sanji's a boy and it's never cleared up. Sanji looks particularly butch because it made her life easier at Baratie, and she doesn't want to ruin dresses and skirts and blouses with cooking or blood. She also just never really wore make up unless Baratie was closed for some celebration or something, when she had a reason to doll up because she was so busy. Also she wakes up and goes to bed before and after everyone else so no one catches she's a girl. I think the hilarious exception of Ace clocking it in Alabasta and telling Luffy he's got the prettiest girl and the best cook wrapped in one is an amazing thing and Luffy goes with it but still asks why Ace called Sanji a girl and Ace is confused now. They never clear it up.

When Sanji is training and everyone is talking about forcing her into dresses Sanji is like 'I don't need to be forced, I love dresses! I just don't like ruining them with blood.' and coming back to Sabaody with a few dresses, skirts, blouses, more fem clothing and everyone is like 'you don't have to wear those if they make you uncomfortable' is sending some weird messages to her so she just doesn't wear them still. For the wrong reasons and everyone is confused. Like WCI when Sanji's in her wedding dress and fighting and mourning the blood on the dress and Luffy and Nami are asking her why she's in one because she doesn't wear that stuff and Sanji says she thought they didn't like them on her and the very quick explanation of 'we thought you were a boy!' is Sanji going 'How?' as Nami complains she had a sexuality crisis for nothing until Luffy asks about him, Zoro, and Usopp; Nami concedes that the crisis wasn't for nothing then.

Nami makes sure she's in a kimono like she and Robin are as an apology because they didn't realize that Sanji was a girl and was just dressing for convenience, she's not a boy and was a princess and she is loved.

Also my con was lovely but I'm so glad it's over.

[trying-to-get-somewhere-real]

started following u for Judith Light posts, but now I'm very curious what going on with Marta and Fina?

well, how much time to you have? ;) a fandom friend described it like this: a lyrical, magical, heartbreaking impossible but inevitable love story between a woman who never experienced true love and a woman who was born to love.

but seriously, i'm not going to summarize their entire plot, but at a high level, here are the basic things about them and why they are so special (i'm assuming you have zero knowledge - also anyone interested in watching this in the future with zero spoilers, stop reading now)

marta and fina are characters on a spanish novelita set in 1958 called sueños de libertad. marta's family, the de la reinas, are the core family, and their family business - perfumías de la reina, a perfume and cosmetics manufacturer - the main setting. most of the characters are either in the family or work for the company and live on the company grounds in the "colony". the company sells its products all over spain (and eventually elsewhere) but the flagship store is on the premises with the factory, and it's where marta's and fina's relationship is born.

fina is the daughter of the de la reina family's chauffeur, so she grew up with marta in a way, though they were never close because of the class and age gap (more on that below). but fina, always a little lesbian, definitely had a crush on her since they were young (this is canon - fina actually says it after they get together).

when the show starts, marta, whose role in the company includes overseeing the store, promotes fina from the warehouse to work to the store. she finds out fina is a lesbian when fina tries to kiss a friend (petra) who also works for the company and was competing for that same store promotion, and the friend rats her out to marta. instead of taking petra's side, marta protects fina and fires the friend.

so just to be clear, marta is fina's boss. already a trope i'm obsessed with. they also have an age gap, though in the show it's probably not intended to be more the 5-9 yrs; the actresses are more like 10-11 years, and to me it is evident (and very hot).

from that point, marta starts being really harsh with fina with no explanation BECAUSE SHE LIKES HER. i cannot overstate the shock and awe i felt seeing this trope actually play out in front of my eyeballs and not just in fic.

fina calls marta out for her unfair treatment, and marta actually apologizes and they begin to truly bond and flirt in earnest. this phase also includes so many tropes that i thought only existed for sapphics in fic, and otherwise only for straight ships: marta wipes crumbs off of fina's face when she eats one of the pastries that marta baked for the girls in the store; they pick up a letter off the floor at the same time and tough fingers and have A Significant Electrifying Moment; fina sews marta an apron for her birthday and ties it on her and it's sooooooooo sexually tense; they spray perfume on each other's wrists and smell it; marta asks fina to go to the opera with her for her bday (basically a date, even though marta doesn't fully get what's happening for her; she's just wants to spend time with fina), i could keep going but you get the idea. the rewatch value of these moments is infinite.

fina has always known she was gay and had past relationships. she is maybe the best lesbian character i've ever watched - always standing up for herself and staying true to who she is (and being horny lmao) when it's really dangerous to do so. marta is married, but her husband works as a doctor on a ship, and their relationship is very distant. we don't have to deal with him initially, though he does eventually come back and cause problems. it's spain in 1958 - you can't get divorced. but watching marta realize she's gay because she has never experienced this type of sexual attraction or intense feelings of love before is really magical. watching her try to deny her feelings but ultimately give in because she's never felt this way before--truly happy and alive for the first time--i cannot do it justice in writing. it has to be watched/lived.

once they establish them as two people in love (and lust, very importantly), there are all kinds of ups and downs as you would expect, and i'm not going to get into them here (this is already way longer than you wanted probably) but the constant is that they love each other and want to be together. they are the lead ship on the show - that alone is crazy - and marta in particular is a protagonist and at this point arguably the Main Protagonist of the show. you never question their feelings for each other - it is always only the realities of living in 1950s spain that keep them apart. because they can never truly be together like a normal couple, the yearning and pining and tension never goes away like it usually does for canon ships. all their mundane interactions have a heat beneath the surface. they don't have truly explicit scenes (they kiss and touch a lot and have had a handful of more intimate scenes; i just meant no nudity and largely no bedroom scenes) but everything is suggestive in a way i have never seen for a sapphic ship before. the writers deserve a lot of credit for that. we are a year into this and it still feels like all they want to do every time they're together is get in each other's pants.

they give the actresses a lot of freedom to improv touching and even changing lines - it's obvious to me as a viewer how those touches makes the ship feel super real and lived in. this is not something i have seen much or perhaps at all with my past sapphic ships. the actresses have insane chemistry and bring sooooooooooo much to whatever is on the page. whenever the plot is proving challenging, you can always fall back on them portraying the intense love, attraction, desire, in this world-ending kind of way. again, i absolutely cannot do this justice. the choices they make set this ship apart and you have to see it for yourself to truly Get It. but it's magical.

it is a daily soap, but with a smaller cast that american/british soaps, so mafin is on almost ever day. if not together, than at least one of both of them separately. in this first year, there are sooooooo many incredible scenes; just the sheer volume is unlike anything i've experienced before, and i have watched other sapphic soap ships.

i could say so much more - not sure if you were asking about the current story arc or the kind of open-ended question i answered, but feel free to come back to my inbox if you had a more specific question. they still have time to screw it up, this show could run for many more years, but right now i think it's the best lesbian love story i have ever watched on tv.

[ghostyclay]

I just started watching the amrican adaptation of bbc ghosts and i fucking hate it.

Especially Isaac. He replaces the Captain as the new gay character who's in the military. However, unlike the Captain, being gay becomes his whole personality. Every joke turns into "oh, haha, get it, he's feminine because he's gay!!!".

The reason i loved the Captain so much, was because he WASN'T a stereotypical depiction of a gay man. He technically fit male gender roles (strong, authoritarian, stern, fit, literally in the military) despite being queer. Sure, there's jokes about him finding men attractive, but they are the same as the jokes about Thomas's crush. He doesn't get turned into some stereotypical caricature of a gay guy. He has a couple moments like that, like when he played the fairy godmother, but he doesn't constantly get portrayed as feminine just because he's gay.

Isaac however? Any joke related to him is tied to him being gay. Even the military stuff. He finds out that Hamilton is way more famous than him, and of course, the thing that bothers him the most it that there's a musical about him. (get it? Because obviously gay men love musicals. And girls like pink and boys like blue.) Hell, even when he sits, he does exaggerated fem poses.

Especially with the American adaptation, it just feels like they turned an amazing depiction of a queer character, with a personality outside of their queerness, into a very flat and stereotyped one.

I don't mind fem depictions of gay men. There IS gay men, who behave exactly like Isaac. And, this is a comedy show that relies on stereotypes: all ghosts are some sort of stereotype.

However, I'm sick of media trying to frame it as "gay man = feminine". There's so, so many queer characters who are portrayed as inherently "different". In so many shows, lesbians are always butch and gay men always feminine and it's framed in a way that suggests that they are gnc BECAUSE of their queerness, and not in addition to it, and i hate it.

Its just a way to enforce gender roles despite queer identities. Because if a woman likes other women, that must mean shes similar to a man, right?

What about straight gnc characters. Why do we rarely see cishet characters break gender roles, without it being depicted as something bad? (the few examples of gnc characters in popular media that i can think of, are like, guys who out on a dress and got made fun of because of it.)

Can we please stop with the whole "boys are blue, pinks are girls and queer people are gnc!" shit? It's really annoying. And it frames queerness as something different, something that fundementally changes/affects a person's whole personality. Like seriously. Do you not think that the depiction of "same gender attraction = your whole personality is different" is really really fucking weird? I know that it has historical context and everything, because many gay man do behave stereotypically feminine (either as a subtle hint at their queerness, or just because they are already a "deviation" from the norm, so why not say fuck you to the whole system and live your life however you want?) but. But please please please stop pretending like queer people are inherently different from cishets. That just gives people an excuse to be homophobic.

(feel free to add your own take, im sure there's plenty of other interesting perspectives on this that are different from mine, but be nice about it! I wanna have a discussion, not an argument.)

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 2 of bracket one

Propaganda:

For Zoro:

Literally training to be the greatest swordsman in the world. Has a special three swords technique (one blade in each hand plus one with the handle held in his teeth). I haven't read the manga or watched the anime but the live action adaptation gives me extremely gay vibes and based on the fandom things I've seen I'm not the only one

bro uses three swords. has one in his mouth. dont ask how the HELL he manages that. one day he will be the worlds greatest swordsman....after he beats the current greatest for both the titles of greatest swordsman and fruitiest swordsman. he's dramatic as FUUUCK like bro what the hell. has homoerotic fights with the local twink like everyday. directionally challenged, can and will get lost in a paper bag, doesnt know left from right...he probably cant read, too. hes too silly ngl

First of all, im in like episode 250 and so far he hasnt been shown attracted to any woman at all during the whole show so far, not even when one changed clothes in the same room as him and this is anime so you know there were other characters with bloody noses and shit. With that out of the way he wields three swords at once [two in his hands, one is his goddamn mouth dude. Its cool af trust me.] When he was little he made a promise to his best friend that he'd be the best swordsman in the world. Later she died in a tragic accident and left her sword which he still uses today. He also carries a cursed sword but he overpowers the curse with a combination of skill and sheer luck. He got stuck in a chimney. While his crewmates sail their ship he takes naps. He learned how to cut through metal by fighting a guy who could turn his body into metal blades. That's metal. He refuses to fight this liberal marine officer because she looks like his childhood best friend and its just understandably really awkward for him. He's autistic. He's a he/him bisexual lesbian. He's a gay man. He's ace/aro. He's whatever you want him to be babey!!

he has 3 swords, wields one in his mouth sometimes, his dream is to be the greatest swordsman in the world

three swords and big aroace-spec gay vibes

He not only has a sword he has *three* swords. He's absolutely gay there's no way to see this man as straight. Also one time he licked his sword for no reason and that was really funny to me so I had to mention it

Look, this man thinks about three things: Swords, His Captain, and Booze. He’s on a quest to be the worlds greatest swordsman. The Live action has a scene where he declares his undying, unwavering loyalty to his captain WHILE reaffirming his promise to be the worlds greatest swordsman. At this point His dream and his Captain are so intertwined it’s crazy. Man is so sword-y he’s got three of them. When one of his swords broke he carried its empty scabbard until he was able to give it a SWORD FUNERAL. He hears a sword is cursed and takes that as a challenge. He will literally tell his swords off for “bad behavior” when they “act up” due to being straight up cursed. He tests one by throwing it in the air and sticking his arm out to see if it is so blood thirsty and ill tempered that it will cut him. Even though he’s literally the first mate if you ask him what his role is he’s going to answer Swordsman.

He's dedicated his life to two things: becoming the greatest swordsman in the world and his captain, Luffy. 

He mastered the three sword style. Its his style. It would've been more swords but he could only fit one sword in each hand and one in his mouth. He wants to be the world's greatest swordsman, a deal he made with his childhood best frenemy (before she died falling down the stairs). He thought he was All That at the start and was almost completely decimated by the actual Worlds Greatest Swordsman. Now, after two years forced training with that guy, he's probably in the top tier no-doubt, and honestly could already be the best but we just don't know for sure yet. Also, did I mention: he's got the whole demon/devil imagery going on at times. And he has absolutely no sense of direction! plus is a total softie when it comes to Chopper and all the children who somehow gravitate towards him. And he loves naps!

One of the guy's main goals in life is to be the best sword fighter and he fights with three swords which I think is telling enough of his skill.

For Sayaka Miki:

my favourite scene is the one where Sayaka turns off all her pain receptors to battle the shadow witch, uncaring of the damage dealt to her body, because what is a body but a decaying vessel you must eventually abandon anyway? that was very depression of her <3 Also there’s that one time (in the rebellion movie) where Sayaka stabs herself on her own sword to release the witch that dwells within her. and then she immediately gets up to fight back to back with her girlfriend. that moment lives rent free in my head. Sayaka is so depression and I love her for it:)

SHES SO GAY ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY SHE FLIRTS W THE MAIN CHARACTER HER NARRATIVE FOIL IS ANOTHER GIRL W TBE OPPOSITE COLOR SCHEME THEYRE RED BLUE LESBIAN MOMENT YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT ELSE ??? SHE COMES TO THIS FALSE REALITY LITERALLY JUST TO SEE HER GIRLFRIEND ALIVE THEY LIVE TOGETHER AND THERES A WHOLE OUTRO SEQUENCE JUST W THE TWO OF THEM SHE STUDIED THE GAY BLADE I STG also she uses a sword 🗡️ love u sayaka

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #4385:

Its' something where I'm sure the intentions are good, but there's something sort of subtly points to a more twisted worldview -- is that the for a story to be considered "feminist" or "modern" the female lead must renounce romance altogether, or if there is a romance it must be with another woman.

Definitely "settle down with a man" shouldn't be the end all be all of every female protagonist's story, that's not at all what I'm getting at. And yeah no shit there are a ton of hetero romances that are downright misogynistic. This shouldn't be the norm either, but it is unfortunately way too common.

But, when it turns into "the idea of a woman being treated well with both love AND respect by a man is too unrealistic even for fantasy, or centuries into the future. Just be single or if you MUST date someone date a woman." is just pretty....abysmal. That men will ALWAYS oppress women and that this will never change, that he will NEVER see her as an equal partner, that he could NEVER respect a woman he's also dating, that he will ALWAYS see his romantic interest as being inherently beneath him....why? Why is this positive messaging? Why is this framed as progressive?

And DEFINITELY there should be more WLW and more aro / ace rep, (Or, people who don't have a romantic arc not because they're aro/ace but for a multitude of other reasons) I'm not trying to degrade the importance of either. But I hate the framing of "dating women because men are bad" just being accepted as positive lesbian rep instead of "dating women because you like women".

I hate when gayness is portrayed as SOLELY a side effect of sexual inequality. "Men who are gay only because they hardly view women as people" or "Women who are lesbian only because men are oppressive". (Or, the inverse where "ONLY gay men have respect for women because it's impossible to be attracted to someone and respect them at the same time.")

[sugar-grigri]

How to carry out a successful attack?

I'm going to give a quick review, as this is a transitional chapter intended to lead into the action of the next chapter, but it's still packed with juicy information.

The first few pages give quite a lot of information about the weapons…

Their relationship with death is interesting: one sees it as a divine consecration, the other finds it not bad, and Miri is the only one to face up to his own condition in this respect.

Not being afraid of death means not having too much trouble giving it…

Miri convinces himself it's a heavenly intervention, not because he finds the idea of being superhuman interesting, but because it relieves him of responsibility for the massacre he's about to commit.

For this massacre was inevitably destined to be extremely cruel, amputating people and leaving them screaming in agony to attract Chainsaw Man.

Miri convinces himself to stare at the clock and not look down at the child crying in front of him.

As for the weapons of the whip and spear, they pay no attention to their surroundings, one hiding behind her sunglasses, the other focusing on his cigarette.

This case shows the paradox surrounding Miri: as I've already detailed, he's not at all free, he's self-convincing in a kind of denial, but he's well and truly instrumentalized by the church.

He has no desire to spread suffering, yet he carries out the order assigned to him.

Non-observance of his environment is what made them lose in reality, believing that their intervention was celestial indicates that they were no longer paying attention to the concrete, loving to verge on overpowering and despising humans to the point of deciding what will make them suffer the most.

Quanxi used the opposite strategy: like a predator carefully examining her prey, she didn't put herself forward and focused on her mission. (Yes, if Quanxi imitates the feline by growling, it's not just to make lesbians scream, although it does have its effect…)

If she waited 5:00PM piles, it's because the public hunters wanted to make it look as if the attack had indeed been carried out by the church, in order to disengage public opinion and support them.

The paradox here is that Quanxi has indeed neutralized the threat, having killed the 3 weapons, even though a unit of hunters will be dispatched.

The 3 weapons were associated with specific demons: whip, spear and sword, none of which could produce the sound of gunfire.

My hypothesis is that the unit sent in simulated the attack by firing into the void to provoke general panic.

It's for this reason that the newspaper doesn't know the number of victims, and we also see a lot of hesitation on the part of the presenter: he only has one source of information (the State), and it's deliberately fragmentary.

We also see information on the workings of the church: the real leaders of the church are the ones who centralize information, while Haruka is just an empty shell (as we suspected) who is only there to recruit young people.

The attack wasn't even communicated to the guru, nor to this man who knows all about weapons. What's more, he uses the ambiguous term "weapons", but does he know what they actually are ?

Fujimoto is looking to develop the relationship between Asa and Denji, so what better way than to set up a rival - a rival who alone would be up to the task of countering Quanxi's power?

Ladies and gentlemen, nb hoes… her return has been announced…

[tikiki05]

hiiii!!! i was kinda curious, what queer hcs for i/atsv characters do you have? i'm specifically interested in spiderteens but it can be whatever character you have hcs for lol

Good evening and thank you for this ask! I’ll gladly go over my personal spider-verse queer headcanons!

First and foremost, I kinda just see all the characters as somewhat bi/sexually fluid, most likely because I am too and almost none of them read as strictly gay or straight to me personally. As for the teens themselves though, I’ll go one by one;

Miles like I previously said I for sure see as bi but with a preference for girls and femininity in general

I know the Gwen trans headcanon is super popular (and likely canon? Idk) but I’ve just never seen it myself/gotten on board with that one as a trans person. Vibes really aren’t there for me, idk how to describe it :/ kinda get demi-girl vibes from her, and ABSOLUTELY a girl lover, she is so gay its not even funny oh my god- lowkey can even see comphet for her too skdfskjd 😭

Hobie himself said he doesn’t like labels so he just kinda dates whoever and has whatever pronouns I think. Like he doesn’t label his gender, nor does he align himself strictly with being either cis or trans. Like he’s just a guy and he’s there and I love it for him so much!

Pavitr is kinda in the same bi-boat as Miles in my head but also maybe more comfortably/equally attracted to masculinity?

Margo I could see as bi with a heavy preference for girls as well, she reads as quite lesbian to me honestly

And what the hell, Peni’s bi too! Bummer how she tends to be left out from the spider-teens (granted I don’t really blame the fandom for that, the movies hardly do anything really substantial with her)

Ooh also, not actually a queer headcanon but I definitely feel that Aaron is secure enough in his masculinity/straightness to date trans people (this is aggressively canon to me in my heart because i wrote an entire story about it teehee)

And for Miguel, I do like the headcanon that he’s trans but also I like him both trans and cis! Not like hard subscribed to either if that makes sense

I think that’s all the really relevant ones, sorry for repeating the bisexuality motif a million times lmao 💀 thanks so much for the ask and I hope you had a very merry Christmas/Holiday! God bless all of us or whatever teeny tom said 🫡

[genderkoolaid]

have u seen the post going around that makes a big deal of how lesbians can and do date gender weird ppl and then adds on a whole addition about how they ABSOLUTELY STILL DONT DATE MEN. and finishes with "lesbians do get with genderweird folks AND still do not get with men. both are true." just say you dont believe multigender people are valid and go

goddddddd these fuckin people

Not only do multigender people exist, but also:

There are trans men who were cis lesbians and transition. Their lesbian partners can stay with them and, while some may identify as bisexual, others will identify as lesbians! Not because they misgender their partners, but because lesbianism has always been a space for transmasculinity & those who love it! Their trans male husbands may even identify as lesbians still, or maybe straight men!

Even transness nonwithstanding... sometimes lesbians fuck men. People will make posts about lesbians thinking a twink is a butch and finding him hot but I'm sorry, sometimes a twink and a dyke will have sex for fun because they want to. Sometimes a woman who's never had a crush on a man in her life will fall for one guy, even a cis guy, because human attraction is crazy like that. None of that means anything for lesbians who never want to date or fuck a cis (or trans) man. It means absolutely nothing for you.

Like. I always think "lesbians can't date or sleep with men? Who are you to tell lesbians what they can and can't do? Lesbians will do whatever the hell they want."

This all on top of the inherent fucking nonsense of "lesbians can date genderweird folks but still don't get with men!!!" like I really need people to grasp the concept that trying to categorize genderweird people into "man" and "not man" is just never not going to be exorsexist. Sorry you can't reduce it down to "butches who are transmasc and maybe use he/him or go by "boyfriend" but they never ever ever feel like a boy or man at all which means they are Good and Acceptable To Fuck" its so ridiculous. lesbian sexuality & romance & community is so much cooler and more beautifully diverse than the fucking spreadsheet ass people could ever imagine.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

maybe you received so many messages and asks because its really weird to jump through all of these hoops to explain allowing "high school age" kids in polls

At this point, I'm concerned for the future of our species because I thought people could separate fantasy from reality, but apparently, we cannot.

Because I have stated this a thousand times, it is wrong to prey upon minors in real life. But these are fictional characters, and they are not real. You cannot hurt them.

But the way some of you are talking, it sounds like you guys think I should go to jail because I still have a crush on my first anime crush I developed when I was 12. He's 13. That's okay back then, but I'm in my twenties now. So, if this were real life, he would be my age, too, but he's fictional, so he's still 13. So, is it wrong for me to still have a crush on him? If it were real life, yes, it would be illegal, and I probably wouldn't find him attractive because he would act a little too much like my idiot younger brother, not like the cool anime character. But, again, these characters are not real, and I can separate fiction from reality.

Hotter doesn't have to mean sex, people, and the fact that so many of you do tell me you all have dirty minds. It's very much open to interpretation. To you, hotter could be the person that is datable, marriageable, one-night stand material. You would allow them to ruin your life and thank them for it. I don't care. Some people vote for the guy with fire powers no matter what because they're hotter. They can make fire. I love getting comments about people who are asexual that breaks down how they define hot to vote or even lesbians or gay guys when they have to vote for an all-girl or all-guy poll because they're like, I'm technically not attracted to any of these people, but here's how determined how I found the hotter person. And a lot of times, it has nothing to do with physical attractiveness, so it's fascinating

So, can we agree to separate fantasy from reality, or is that just too much to ask people?

Now, I am fully aware of the website I am on because I have had people give me the ick with the comments they have left when I clicked on their blog. Guess what? I found a pedophile Pride flag that is a thing. People should Google it. If you see it on someone's blog, immediately block them. That's one of the few ways to earn an immediate block for me. But they left comments on an adult character that was drawn like a Loli girl. Not a character that was actually a high schooler

[moliathh]

people accusing alutegra shipper of homophobia and lesbian/aroace erasure are so funny because ONE, as a fan, i cannot make or remove a queer representation of a media, that act can only be done by the creator/producer/corporation/ institution themselves, the fanworks you make for a ship does not held the same weight as official materials. It's a bit insulting that you are comparing fanworks made out of love (that could very much be made by queer people) to a phenomenom driven by hate and bigotry and was a contributing factor to the oppression of queer people. Throwing around big words, accusations, that were meant for something very serious and harmful to refer to something unharmful just because you dislike a ship is not a very LGBTQIA+ friendly thing of you to do. Do you think of homophobia so lightly? Accusing REAL queer people who are being subjected to homophobia on a daily basis because of something they love?

SECOND OF ALL, let's assume that your headcanon is true (i haven't speak of the fact that its basic fandom etiquette to treat headcanon as something personal and not universal and don't harass other people over unharmful difference in opinion). Let's say, Integra is a lesbian, which is a headcanon. Did we collectively forget Alucard is canonically genderfluid? Yet you're referring to Alucard/Integra as a "cishet" ship? Does a queer person get stripped of their queer identity when they participate in a relationship that is male/female presenting? I thought we are about "queer rep"??? How convenient it is to deem him a cis het man and headcanon Integra as a lesbian to make the shippers look bad. Oh, and on the way of watering down queer identity into a caricature, you are also claiming ace people cannot have sex and it's disrespectful to depict ace people having romantic/sexual relationship. As if asexuality isn't a spectrum ranging from "little to no attraction" and the definition of sexual interaction is very loose, especially for queer people. Do you even care about queer people at this point?

And before any of yall jump me, i am queer myself how can i be homophobic my bitches are gay I AM GAY. I'm so sick and tired of yall justifying hate by pretending to care about the alphabet mafia. DO YOU REALLY? It was never that serious, just say you hate the ship and get tf going. I think its perfectly fine and cool to hate a ship just because you hate it, i do! I have headaches and want to vomit when i see ships that i hate but i dont feel the need to moralize it nor do i have to bring it to the face of the shippers or bad talking them. What really piss me off is how you drag real QUEER people through the mud for some fucking little pixels. Go outside, have some empathy. When fascism and censorship comes to wipe us out none of us gonna be spared because you are "one of the good ones" so stop fucking eating at your own community omg if you dont like something and its unharmful then BLOCK

[faegoddessog]

More Fun to Miss Part 1

Hey ya'll, so this is part one, which was initially written as a daily challenge peice for @dailydoseofaustinbutler . Words in bold are the daily challenge words. I'm reposting for cohesion with parts 2-4, which were written as a thank you to my 200 followers. (voted on by a poll!)

Warnings: Explicitly Mature Material 18+, Enemies to lovers, fingering, vaginal sex, spanking

“My New Year’s Resolution is, that I am giving up on dating this year.” Her hand was held high holding her third bramble of the night. It was nearly half gone.  

It had been a bad year for Mel, cheated on by two different guys. The first one had another girlfriend and a wife. The last one had fucked the first one after they had run into him at a mutual friend’s event. Oh and by the way, it was a threesome, with the mutual now ex- friend.   Yeah, she’d known the second was bi. Hell, it’s one of the reasons she had been attracted to him. She just didn’t expect him to, a. not invite her to the threesome and b. do it with her shity ex.  Fuckers. 

“Ok sure,” “uh huh” “yeah right” the chorus rises from the table of her friends, every one of them not single.  They knew her m.o., knew that she hated being alone and the prevalence of her ‘but daddy I love him’ energy. 

“I’m serious, no man or woman,” she tips her glass towards the two women snuggled up together at the end of the table, “is gonna pry open this heart or these legs. I’m done with relationships. It’s just good friends and cats from now on!” 

“And dildos and vibrators!!” one of them called out. 

“Yeah!!! WHOOO!!!” They all clink glasses together. 

Mel drains her drink, all sweet and fluffy to disguise the alarming amount of alcohol in it. “WHOO!!!! YEAH!” She hollers, slamming the sturdy lowball down on the table. 

There was no response from the table, each and every one of them were frozen, wide eyed and staring past her, even the lesbians.  

“What?” she pats her own head, “What’s going on? Is my asshole ex behind me or something?” She turns around a little too quickly, her eyeballs might have well spun in her head for the way the room gyrates. It takes a second for her drunken brain to catch up. 

He is standing just inside the door of the bar, scanning the crowded room. 

“Oh wow,” her best friend Bess whispers, “ Mel, that is the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.” 

She was wrong, he was more than pretty. He was staggering. He was tall, a scattering of scruff barely darkened his sharp jawline. His eyes narrowed as he scanned the room. His dark blonde hair was styled in an unruly fashion that screamed ‘I try not to care, but I secretly care.’  His brown leather bomber jacket didn’t hide the vintage tee nor the lean frame they hung on. He was just the kind of handsome twat she would normally make a bee line for. 

He spots whomever he was looking for, and his face lights up. His mouth widens into a perfect smile and his cheekbones pop. An errant light grazes across his face and his eyes flash like he’s some kind of mischievous god. Mel’s breath leaves her. Then he moves, eating up the space in the crowded room with such surety. Every limb on the man knew its job and knew it well. It was probably her addled brain, but it looked like he was moving in slow motion as he threw his arms around a man, hugging him tight and kissing him on the cheek. 

 Every instinct  jolts her out of her near bad decision to go introduce herself. The door to all of the bullshit, humiliation and gaslighting that she went through in the past few months slams open. Cold hard  anger dumps into her stomach. Anger at all the hot damn guys that fucked her life. Yeah this guy wasn’t one of them specifically, but at this moment he was their mascot, as far as she was concerned.

“Well fuck all,” she whispers under her breath turning back around. 

“He looks like that one guy-” she hears to the right of her.

“Yeah in that tv thing a while back,” her friend to the left. 

“No it was a movie about that guy,” Bess snaps her fingers trying to remember. 

“Well I for one,I don’t give a flying fuck who he is,” Mel grabs her hand, “C’mon let’s get some shots for everyone.”

Mel and Bess are nearly at the bar  when they got distracted by Taylor Swift. Yeah, there were a bevy of scorned woman songs, but Mel’s favorite was Karma. Which is the very song playing right now.  She and Bess started dancing in the wide spot just before the bar. Singing along loudly, Mel does her best Tay Tay impression. Her arms fling to the side and  *thud* Sploosh! She turns her head just in time to see his beautiful face, eyes shut  and drenched in whatever he had been about to drink.  

He puffs out a seemingly exasperated breath. Then smiles when he sees the look on her face. Bess covers her mouth in utter shock. He shakes the water off his hand, sprinkling both ladies like so much holy water. 

“S’ok,” his voice is smooth and deep with just a little lilt of laugh, “You’re lucky my partner in crime up there was dehydrated. It’s only water.” He took the proffered towel from the barkeep behind him and wiped his  face, which somehow got more handsome in the weirdly private gesture..“You ladies want to join us?” His smile lit up the space around him. “I’ll let you make it up to me.”  

Mel heard ‘partner’ and the flirtatious invite. Ice coursed through her veins followed quickly by white heat. 

“Oh well sorry, next time I’ll wait until you have an expensive fucking scotch in your hand.” her ex loved drinking scotch.  And NO she WASN'T projecting. She grabbed Bess and stomped towards the bar.

“I’m so sorry,” Bess said as she was dragged away, “She’s hurting.”  

“Oh my god MEL! What the fuck as gotten into you?” Bess asked, “he was being cool about it!” 

“He was a bad mascot,” Mel’s logic is fuzzy.  

Mel and Bess bring back a tray of shots to the table. They all toast and toss back the floofy sweet shots.  A few minutes later, A particularly elegant, well groomed hand passes over her shoulder with a tray of multi colored jello shots. 

“A peace offering” a melodious voice slides like silk down her neck. “I’d have brought scotch, but figured we’d all stay dryer this way.” 

She knows it’s him before she turns.  He’s so close to her, she can smell his cologne. OH fucking no, she is such a sucker a good smelling man. 

“Listen, I don’t know what I did to piss you off,” he starts. 

“YOU didn’ do anythin’, It’s just your kind,” she’s finding it hard to find words.

“Well that um… sounds potentially sexist or racist?” his eyebrows raise

“No, no, I mean good sm’lling boys that’ll  just end up fffuckin’ you over.” her words are starting to slur. 

“Well thanks, I’m the global… wait, I’m not gonna….” he shakes his head then decides it might be better to just start all over. “Ok, um. Hi, I’m Austin. What’s your name?” he holds out his hand

“Sorry, not interested ,” she grabs his hand and shakes in an exaggerated way. “In your own name? Wow, that’s got to be a tough way to get through life. “No, pretty boy, B is right you ARE pretty;  No my name’s Miss Melissy- uh, an’ izvery interesting. But no you hadn’t heard cuz you walked in all frozen and hot with your face on, distracting but that was me there before saying no dating to my new resolution. So sorry, not interested.”

His brow furrows as he tries to follow her train of thought, “Are you saying that your New Year’s resolution is not to date hot frozen faces?  

“Yes, that is what I said isn’t it. So thank you no thank you, sir.”  Mel says waving him away. 

He shakes his head as he puts up his hands and backs away like a man caught red handed.

“Alright, alright I promise I won’t try to date you, ok?” 

“Thank you, that’s actually very helpful,” she suppresses a hiccough, “pretty boy.” 

----

It is late, like really late.  So late that it’s actually early. 

Mel stumbles out onto the curb in front of the club, the barest light in the morning sky. She had almost fallen asleep in the bathroom, she was so tired and really quite drunk. She didn't want to admit just how drunk she was, and therefore denied any help offered to her from her friends. She takes a big breath of the moist morning air. 

“I love the morning sky from this side,” a now familiar voice said to her left, “especially on the cusp of a new year. Wouldn't you agree,” he looks at her sideways over his little brown cigarillo. 

She just nodded, staring at him in his brown-leather-jacket-James-Dean-hot-as-fuck energy. 

“But truthfully, I’m giddy knowing that I get to go home, shower and crawl into bed.” He pulls a drag off the little brown wrapped cylinder in his hand. The glow from the cherry highlights his nose and forehead.

“Yeah I gotta do that, “ she puts her hand out in the classic cab hailing pose, though there are none on the street.

“Look, I have a ride coming any second.  Please just let me get you home, then you’ll never have to hear from me again.” 

“My home, right, to my home. I’m not gonna climb your slutty little waist and into your fucking lap cuz I’m not doing your knight in old leather Dames Jean head-assery.” 

“Yup, I have gathered that,” he says, wondering if he’s making a grave mistake, but also just too good of a guy to leave her here waving at imaginary cabs. 

“Okay fine,” and she immediately crumples. 

Sure, he’s had a couple, but he’s still fast. His cig flicks into the street and he catches her by the arms. 

“Fuck, girl, you are lucky it’s me and not some fucking creeper,” he mumbles trying to hold her upright as the car pulls to the curb. 

----

She wakes up sometime the next day. She is still fully clothed and  on her own couch. She is positioned on her side with a towel spread under her  face.  The first thing she sees is a bottle of water, saltine crackers and two ibuprofens on her coffee table. Her head is pounding. She downs  meds, crackers  and water. Then she notices the note:

‘Dear Miss Mel, 

I must confess that I did a most abhorrent and wicked thing. I went searching in your purse for your id so I could tell the driver where to go. I carried you in and set you up on the couch. You were pretty messed up. You might want to rethink your choices, you are lucky I’m a good guy.  Let me know that you survived the night or I might have to show up and bother you. 

-”James Dean Mother Fucker” aka Austin

What she could only assume was his number was scrawled under his name. 

Her first reaction was fury. The nerve of that guy, to lecture her about choices! 

‘Fuck no I’m not gonna text that asshole!”  

Her wrath is short lived. It turns out that being angry actually makes her headache worse.

She gets into the shower, the hot water coursing over her helps. The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes he’s right. Any number of terrible things could have happened to her. 

“FUCK!” she says out loud.  

Ok, so maybe he deserves a text. 

The brightly lit screen of her phone sears her eyes as she sits wrapped in a towel on her toilet.  It takes her far too long to be able to input his number then text a simple  “I’m ok,” she is about to press send, then types in ‘thanks’.

He immediately responds with a thumbs up. 

True to his word, though she hardly remembered exactly what had happened, he didn’t bother her after that. 

She nearly forgot about him, until she walked into her regular yoga class a couple days later to find HIM talking to the instructor. 

He freezes for a second, then a wide grin spreads on his face. He tilts his chin in greeting. She gives him a curt nod and goes to the other side of the studio.

She tries so hard to ignore him throughout class, but her traitorous eyes keep slipping back to him in the mirror. The graceful way he moved through the vinyasa. His steely focus as he balances in natarajasana. The flex of his triceps as he hovered in chaturanga. The lines of his quads as he bends into virabhadrasana. Fuck. 

She quickly rolls up her mat at the end of class. He is still lying in savasana breathing deep. 

“Listen,” she walks up to his side, “thanks for getting me home safe the other night. Just so you know, I don't normally get that wasted.”

“Yeah you kept telling me that,” he doesn’t even open his eyes. ”Also how you’d been cheated on and wouldn’t fuck me no matter how hard I begged you, then you barfed on my boots. I had to throw them away. I really liked those boots.” 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” her face turns beet red, “Can I replace them?” 

“Nope,” he cracks one eye open, “they were vintage.”

 

She was bent over, hands splayed in front of her on her purple yoga mat.

 “Let the energy flow down your back like a waterfall,” both his voice and his soft warm hand drew a current of shivers down her naked spine. 

She could feel his magnetic presence behind her. Fingertips dug into her hips as he pulled her back.

“Hips back now, into me” she felt his hard tip press into her wet folds. “And me into you.” 

She jerked awake, fingers buried in her wet pussy, breath panting. Did she just cum in her sleep? She peeled her leg away from the overstuffed pillow that somehow had gotten between her legs and the dark wet stain on it answered the question for her. 

“Fucking hell.”

…

“I don’t know how, but I keep trying and falling,” she finds herself saying to his broad shouldered back. 

It had been three days since he infiltrated yoga class. She tried hard not to think about him during waking hours, but each morning since she had woken up to dreams with him in various stages of entering her. Fucking  subconscious mind. 

“Oh yeah, I shudder to think what you may be talking about now,” he smiles, recognizing her voice instantly. 

“Well, I keep swearing that I won’t have to see you again, but here you are in my  favorite little coffee joint. ” What the hell was it with this guy being everywhere? Was nowhere sacred anymore?

The way his chuckle rumbles in his chest sends shivers down her back. Fuck all, does he ALWAYS have to look that good? 

“Well maybe you need to try to run into me, maybe you’ll miss me then,” his smile is actually infectious. Austin realizes that he’s starting to like these random meetings, they are like little  surprise dates.  He too, may have been waking to dreams of plunging his cock into her.  

“Are you implying I’m good at failing?” she tries desperately not to smile back at him.

“Only in this one thing, though I’m certainly not complaining,” his long fingered hand touches his chest.

“Hmph. Can I at least buy your coffee? Y’know for the boots?” Maybe if she makes some kind of reparative gesture, the universe will stop shoving them together. 

“Oh I wouldn't let you do that,” he shakes his head, “that would be far too much like a date. And as I recall,  you have some pretty strong opinions about that.” 

She puffs out what she hopes is an exasperated sigh. She tries to hide the fact that she might be warming up to this guy. 

“What do you actually do, anyway Austin?” 

“Oh, I’m an actor,” he shrugs. 

“Of course you are” she shakes her head. 

“I’m uh… working the stage right now. West end, little drama,” he breezes past her derisive comment. “Tell you what, I’ll leave a ticket for you at the box office for, say,  tomorrow night and you could just not show up. Then you’ll for sure miss me.” 

The double entendre laced in his voice is not lost on her. 

“ Sure, I’d love to be missing you.”

Mel had debated, trying to decide if she should go as she did her hair and makeup. When she pulled on her little black dress and boots, she was thinking about how he was probably bluffing anyway.  She had shrugged into her long wool coat and  literally walked back and forth in front of her door. She finally had decided fuck it. 

“Why would I pass up a free show?” she says to no one as she yanks open the door. 

If nothing else she can hit the pub across from the theatre until he shows his face and gloat over the fact that he was bluffing. 

But indeed there is a ticket at the boxoffice under ‘Missy Mel’. 

She’d not been called ‘Missy’ since she was a child. She didn't let anyone but her daddy call her that and he’d been gone for several years. She turns a little red when she sees the familiar scrawl of his handwriting on the ticket envelope. 

Her seat is up front  and center where he won’t miss her from the stage. 

“Fuck” she says under her breath. She looks behind her, wondering if she could sit in a different seat farther back. The house looks full. Just then, the lights start to flicker. 

“Fine” she says to herself in a huff and sits down, determined to leave at intermission. 

From the moment he steps on stage, he is enthralling. His talent is amazing. He doesn't glance once at her, never misses a beat and seems to take up all the air in the place. He is magnificent. 

As the curtain falls for  intermission the audience claps and the lights come up, she is just staring at the spot where he was standing.

An usher appears as if from nowhere and hands her an envelope. Inside there is a backstage pass and a note that says ‘I see you missed missing me yet again’. 

She starts fuming. She should really leave now, just to show him. But despite her internal monologe of ‘fuck this, fuck him, I’m not gonna just sit here and let him play me for a fool’,  she stays rooted to her seat. 

She had shown that same usher her pass. He had brought her through the maze that was backstage and ushered through the door with an actual star on it. The room was obviously a dressing room. A costume rack behind the door, a mirror with those classic lights, now LED bulbs, around the edge setting opposite. The table below holds a tray of makeup and brushes and tissues, a dogeared script, a small amber bottle of what looked like essential oil and his phone.  

Now she was sitting on the edge of the black leather slipper chair right next to the door. Her legs crossed and waiting, waiting to give this arrogant son of a bitch a piece of her mind. 

She hears the door across the room click. She takes a breath, revving up to give this man  the what-for.

“Listen you-” she starts to say. 

Steam pours out from the tiny bathroom. He emerges in nothing but a towel slung low around his hips. His head is covered in a towel, with which he is vigorously drying his hair. 

It’s an insanely intimate moment that she is sure she should not be witnessing.  

She had thought he was in shape, seeing him in yoga class, but his naked torso did more than hint at just how many hours this man has spent at the gym. 

The spattering of blonde chest hairs and freckles across his defined pecs, the half moon of his belly button set in the middle of his furrowed abs stops her fury in its tracks. The ‘v’ of his transverse abdominis  and the trail of wet hairs leading under the knot of the towel makes more than her mouth water. She knows she should stop staring, but she just can’t.  

He visibly jumps when he pulls the towel from his head. 

“Oh hey! I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.”

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were ….,” suddenly she’s looking anywhere but him. 

“It’s ok, what happens backstage, stays backstage,” his smile is disarming, charming even.  It could be the little dimple at the left corner of his mouth, or the way the apples of his cheeks pop or the light teasing in his eyes, but she feels like she is falling down some kind of rabbit hole.  

He steps a bit closer, reaching towards her. She is frozen, eyes wide. What the fuck is happening here? She is about to come unglued, how many women does he invite back here, no LURE here. FUCKING MEN!  She is on the verge of bolting for the door when he points behind her.

“Can you hand me those?” She turns and his belted jeans are draped over the back of the chair. 

“To tell the truth, I’m hurt,”  he says casually as if he’s not nearly naked. 

“What?” it was the last thing she expected him to say. 

“I really am. I tried helping you in your endeavor to stay away from me,” he takes the pants from her hands. “But you seem to have spectacularly failed, twice” He nods at the pass around her neck. “I am beginning to  wonder if you are really committed to your goal here, Miss Missy.” 

She should be furious at his condescension, she should be standing up and storming out, but she can’t breathe. 

The memories of her beloved father teasing her in the same way, of always ‘helping her’ in that unhelpful but secretly helpful way, and of his greeting of “Miss Missy, how I missed you!” all  slam into her heart. Heat flashes her face and a lump immediately forms in her throat. 

“You fucker,” she says more to her dad than to this beautiful man. Tears well up and she just can’t stop them. She bows her head trying to hide them. 

“Hey, hey,” He steps even closer, gently touching her hand. “I’m sorry, I thought we were just playing here, flirting, being silly. I didn’t mean to make you…I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s not that,” she sniffles, “ well it is - but not like that.”

“Here,” he hands her a tissue from the nearby box. 

The real, honest moment begins to crack all barriers between them. 

Mel looks up. 

“Wanna talk about it?” he offers quietly.  It’s the gentle way his voice caresses her and the real concern in his eyes that sets her whole self buzzing. 

Suddenly she is intensely aware of the fact that he is so close, that he is still gently touching her. Every self-imposed boundary crashes down. 

“No,” she whispers as she stands, hands running up his chest and around his neck. 

It’s without hesitation that he envelopes her in his arms. 

Their lips meet. It’s as though they’d done so a hundred  times. Need and want an amalgamation of desire between them. 

Tongues tangle, unfettered by willful egos. 

She presses her body close to him. The slight grind of her hips loosens the tuck of the towel under his belly button.  Neither of them notice or care.

He kisses down her neck. “God, I’ve wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you” he says into her ear. 

“Me too,” she confesses, pulling back to look into his eyes, “I’ve just been…a dick.” 

“Shhh, doesn’t matter,” he grabs her face, pushing her hair back.

His molten blue pools are spellbinding, not one hint of malice in them. 

He devours her mouth as the world falls away. And she lets him. 

He takes a step back, the towel falling to the floor in a heap. His fingers drag the oversized gold zipper down the front of her black dress. 

She looks down when she feels the bump of his cock against her thighs

“My god,” she says under her breath. 

Her dress falls next to the towel, revealing the dusty pink bra and wispy panty set. He reaches over and locks the door. 

“Fuck me, you are hot,” he breathes. 

“Ok, I will,” is all she can get out before she pulls him down into a kiss.

Austin’s arms close tight around her and thank goddess, because the kiss he unleashes on her would have dropped her flat.

He backs her the half step to the vintage armless chair. The slightly cold surface is welcome on her suddenly hot skin as he bends over her, laying her back.

Holy shit, he needs a second.This was not at all what he had expected. He straightens up, looking down through half lidded eyes, drinking  in the sight of her, lips tingling with the searing quality of her kiss. 

He didn’t know how he didn’t see it before, just how unbelievably sexy she was. It’s obvious now with her lying nearly naked in front of him with her hands rubbing against her inner thighs as if to part them further. The look on her face says it all. ‘Fuck me, if you dare.’  

She is biting her lip and  looking up at him towering over her with his rock hard cock.  His nearly contrapposto stance, so natural with his gorgeous frame. He takes a breath, then another as if weighing whether or not this was worth it. 

“I mean if you don’t want to…If I’m repulsive or something…” she shrugs, her negative self talk beating him to the potential punch.

“Brat,” he says, shaking his head. “I thought it might be a good moment to garner some consent,” he says pointedly, “besides, does it look like I am repulsed?” He gestures to his dick. 

Her eyes travel down his body and it’s like the gesture has given her permission to stare at his cock. He is thick and straight and his tip is starting to turn red.  The ridge facing her casts his long, upright shaft half in shadow from the mirror light. It looks delectable. No, he looks delectable. 

As if in a trance, her fingers lightly stroke over the soft skin of his shaft without a thought. 

He pulls a breath in through his teeth at her touch, breaking her reverie.

Oh, um,” she says, recovering, “yeah I’m down. Sorry, I’m defensive sometimes.”

“Yes, I have noticed,” his smile is disarming, then it slips into something far more salacious. “You know what I think? You need someone to either fuck or spank it out of you. I was just trying to decide which,” he doesn't admit to the fact that he’s been dreaming about this.

“¿Por qué no los dos?” she finds herself saying, almost as a dare. 

“Oh honey,” his voice drops low, “you want both?” 

Normally, a guy calling her ‘honey’ got her back up, made her, you guessed it, defensive. But there was something in the way he said it with his eyes narrowing predatorily and so casually dominating that made her speechless. Fuck, no matter what face he puts on, he is gorgeous.  She realizes that she does want it and she wants him to give it to her.

 “Well, do you?” he leans over her, running a finger over her leg. 

“Uh-huh,” she finally gets out. 

“Do you want it right now? Or do we need to take this elsewhere?”  This was him giving her an out. 

“Now,” she breathes, not wanting to break the spell. 

His lips crash into hers.

She tries to pull him close but his hands are propped on the graceful curve at the back of the chair. The pose goes far to establish his dominance over her. She wraps her arms around his slim waist. There are still drops of water in the crevice of his spine. She is surprised they’ve not turned to steam both literally and figuratively. 

“Safe word?” the query growls into her ear. 

“Red,” she practically moans.

Suddenly she is being manhandled. He pulls her off the chair and flips her over his lap, ass in the air. She can feel his hard cock trapped under her belly. 

Her ass over his lap, covered in the flimsiest of dusty pink fabric, is exactly what his subconscious had been hoping for, dreaming about. 

“Unless you say it, I’m going to continue until I like the color of your ass,” Crack!  He brings down his hand hard on her cheek. She jumps, squealing. Crack!  He does a matching one on the other side. 

Mel has only played like this once or twice. The sharp, intense stings of his first two strikes makes her wonder if she can go through with it. When he switches to light glancing blows  though, she is hooked. They warm her up to a nice glow as he mottles her skin. Little sounds escape her with each smack.

“Listen to you. You like it, don’t you?” he asks. His voice is silken with no trace of shaming. 

“Yes,” she blurts out. 

“Well then, I'd better check this pussy,  little brat,” she would've heard the smile in his voice, but she was too focused on the sheer sex laced into his words.

She never thought she would be here: mostly naked, bent over this man’s lap, ass ringing. In fact, part of her doesn’t believe it until he guides her panties just past the roundness of her scarlett rump. Spreading her legs and tilting up her hips, begging him to touch.  The eagerness with which she strains the wisp of lace and elastic is nearly embarrassing. 

With gentle hands, he pulls her ass cheeks apart, giving him his first glimpse of her pink little pussy lips. Just the mere sight of them makes his cock jump against her belly. His fingers slip soft against her, petting her up and down gently

She’s never had a man to be so hard in such a gentle way.  It makes her clench and groan. Her hips try to grind her pussy into his fingers and her belly quivers against his hard cock.  Funny how his self control makes her lose her own. 

“I think you need a little more. Let’s see if we can get this honey pot dripping,” he says casually, pulling her panties down and off. 

This time his strikes are hard, specific and interspersed with tugs on her ass cheeks and gentle pinches of her pink little lips. Never had she dreamed someone could make her body override her mind like this, make her want so badly.  Then his fingers are spreading her lips, dipping tips into her sodden entrance. Her back arches and her legs spread to give him access. 

She is starting to feel wild, flinging her head up and down. 

His hand glides down her spine and closes on the back of her neck, pinning her just enough to focus her mind.

His fingers press further into her entrance,

She can feel him lean over towards her head, light breath drifts across her back.

“Are you done being a brat?” his fingers curl forward inside her, barely teasing her sweet spot.

“If you aren’t,” he milks her pussy with little squelchy motions, then pulls out, “we will come right back here, with you over my knee and I will blister this pretty- little- bottom,” he emphasizes the last three words with hard, wet smacks.

Mel suddenly has visions of him suited and booted, his hand tight over hers. He is leading her from the table at a restaurant or from the audience at a show. He drags her into the bathroom or a back room to discipline her in an Armani suit and black heeled boots. She can literally feel her juices surge at the idea and the sting of his spanks. 

“I’ll be good just please, please,” she hears herself saying as a rush of heat floods her core. 

“Please what?” he purrs, caressing her now flaming cheeks. 

“Fuck me, please,” she nearly whines out ‘daddy’, but stopped herself just in time. She had never before had that title on her lips. Of course she had never had someone actually discipline her, not like this. God, how is he so good at this? 

“Needy little pussy, this,” he coos at her, “I think it does need my cock.”

“Yes!” her hips buck. 

Austin pulls her up and guides her leg over his lap to straddle him. He reaches for the careless heap of his pants on the floor. He fumbles in the pocket, pulling a condom out of his wallet. 

He tears the little square. She watches with greedy eyes and hips pulsing. His knuckles brush her lightly furred lips as he rolls the condom to his base. The whiny moan and hip roll from her that follows nearly makes him throw caution to the wind.

One hand drags up over her belly, between her tits and around the back of her neck. It might as well have split her open with the blaze of passion it leaves in its wake. 

Mel raises her lust-glazed eyes to his.

Oh lord, she had underestimated his eyes. The steamy,  blue-eyed smoulder has her melting. Then he has the nerve to add in his low, sexy, gravely voice, “Don’t worry, I’ll take it nice and slow at first, wanna see just how much of me you can take.” His chest heaves in a desperate attempt to control himself.

Mel is dumbfounded.  Sex rolls off him in waves and she is close to drowning.

“Come here, darling brat,” he murmurs, pulling her hips to him.  Her wet pussy presses along his shaft, lubing it. 

The moan that pushes out of her as the ridge of his head rubs across her wet clit is nearly obscene. Her hips move of their own accord. Her little grunts mimic the little juts of her pussy across the ridge of his cock. 

“Wait now,” he stills her hips with his long-fingered hands, “I didn’t say you could jerk yourself off on my head, not yet.”

The simple act of telling her ‘no’ exponentially turns her on, makes her want it all the more. 

She nearly vibrates in his hands, a little pout forming on her lips.

He considers tipping her back over and wholloping her ass again, such a needy little brat. Then he catches the drizzle of thick pussy juices left on his cock as he pushes her backwards.

“Oh fuck, you are so wet,” his voice betrays the sudden elevation of his desire, the thin thread by which he hangs.

He tips his cock towards her and she rises without cue. He has a perfect view of his thick cock being swallowed as she settles on him. 

“Oh god, that’s so hot,” he says as she moans, “Oh god  it’s so good.” 

They stay there for  a handful of heartbeats, their eyes locked on one another in a primal stare. 

“You ready for me to fuck that hot pussy?” Austin finally whispers through his teeth. 

Mel can only shake her chin in the slightest of nods as she lifts to give him room.

True to his word, he goes slow at first, making sure he isn’t gonna hit her cervix too hard. 

Slipping in and out he watches her face contort in euphoria as his thrusts increase in pace.  

At the first strong thrust, she can tell this won’t take long. It’s like he was made for her, hitting her in all the right places. 

 “Mmm, holy fuck, you take my cock so well. I want you to cum. Okay? Hmm?” he shifts his long thumb downwards.

 “Uh-huh,” she manages to whine out. Then his thumb grazes her clit. It’s fucking perfect and in three thrusts she is unraveling, a thing unleashed. 

Her fingers clutch at his shoulders, hips grinding hard onto his thickness, taking him impossibly deep. She jerks, she bucks, she wails silently with her mouth hung open.  

Like a trigger being pressed, he starts to lose his measured movement in her clenching pussy. His hips beat harder and faster. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” the words explode in a whisper from his mouth.

Her spine jolts back, trying to whip her hips away from his invading cock and the overwhelming pleasure. But he grips her hard with both hands, relentless in chasing his own orgasm, in using her sopping cunt.

With a series of deep panting grunts, he thrusts up with a jerking force. His fingers dig into her ass cheeks, shaking. His eyelids beat across his rolling eyes and his mouth drops open as he buries his erupting cock deep inside her. 

At the strained and pulsating movements, she curls into him instinctually,  clinging to his body like so much driftwood. His hips and abs shake, practically giving up his soul to her quivering sheath. Her grip on reality is hazy at best. 

They come down, slowly. His arms wrap gently around her limp form draped over his body. 

Usually, this is the time when reality settles back in to make the intense intimacy start to feel awkward. Most guys would start to untangle themselves, searching for a reason to jet.

But he just holds her softly, breathing. 

“You alright?” His voice is deep and tender and caring. His hand gently caresses her back.

She pushes herself away from his warm chest, pulling off his softening cock. 

“Yeah, I think I am,” she doesn’t sound sure, “can I…” she leans forward just a little. 

“Of course, c’mon,” he opens his arms with a warm, if spent, smile. 

She turns, legs off to one side, and sits in his lap, curled up in his arms. The thought strikes her that this moment, this man, is everything she ever wished to find. 

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