#Itll get better I promise

[diazheartsbuckley]

Oooo I’d love to know more about “ Bratty probie Buck/ new lieutenant Eddie” and “Confessions in the dark” pleaseeee 🙏🙏

Hi Matt! 🫶

I answered bratty probie Buck/ new lieutenant Eddie here (be sure to check out @disasterbuckdiaz’s fic about it, I got the inspiration from her 😘)

Whispers of the dark is one of the first fics that I made an actual moodboard for and I can’t wait to provide y’all with another little snippet 🌹 (dw, he won’t be Evan the entire time but it’ll last a while)

(Ask me about my wips 💌)

Snippet under cut ✂️

As Evan moved his hand out from his jacket, the priest turned to face him, backlit by the glow from the burning candles, his features bathed in the golden light.

It wasn’t exactly what he had in mind when he pictured a priest - this man was young but older than him, Evan’s bet would somewhere in his mid to late thirties, tall, with caramel skin and dark brown eyes that appeared to be looking right through him. Below the clerical robe, Evan noticed a faded white scar, tracing from the middle the priests collarbone to the side of his neck - it was wide and appeared to have been fairly deep, the scar tissue thick and bumpy.

It ended right below his pulse point and Evan raised a brow, a puzzled expression on his face as he searched the priests face for a reaction.

“Unburden yourself and this house of worship will be a place where you can feel the light of your own soul and be able to feel the peace that you so clearly long to feel. Otherwise you would not be here. Am I correct?” The priest stepped closer to him and Evan stood his ground, not trusting his actions. Or showing any signs of weakness. But he also knew that the priest was right. He wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t looking for some sort of absolution or a break from being who he is, who he was always destined to be.

“No” was the only word that came out of Evan’s mouth. He didn’t know what he was saying no to. To unburden himself? To feel peace?

Eddie looked at the man in front of him - blue eyes that looked like they contained the weight of the world, pink lips pursed together and an unwavering stance in a suit that seemed to have been tailored to his exact measurements. Eddie knew who he was. He was pretty sure everyone in L.A. knew who he was. And that he was completely and utterly untouchable.

“Then I’m afraid that you’re going to have to leave the premises. I do not want guns in my church. If you truly seek to change your ways, you’ll come back unarmed” Eddie stood his ground, the subtle bulge underneath Evan’s jacket more than visible.

“You and I both know that I can’t do that, Father” Evan said, a flicker of defiance in his eyes as his jaw tightened.

Eddie, with an unwavering gaze, felt a pang of recognition deep inside of him. There was something in Evan’s behavior, a silent echo of a past that he couldn’t quite place.

“Then perhaps it's time to confront the shadows that haunt you, my son. Come back when you're ready to lay down your burdens and find a new way of life” Eddie spoke, his eyes never leaving Evan’s.

Using this as my seven sentence sunday (although it’s way more than seven sentences lol)

I was tagged by @tizniz @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie and @theotherbuckley 😚

Tagging!! @cal-daisies-and-briars @watchyourbuck @honestlydarkprincess @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @butraura @giddyupbuck @actualalligator @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @puppyboybuckley @poughkeepsies @wildlife4life @elvensorceress @wikiangela @underwater-ninja-13 @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz 🦋🩵

[monsieur-kazzle-dazzle]

i'd give up forever to touch you (921 words) by ct7567 Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Mary Macdonald & Marlene McKinnon & Dorcas Meadowes & Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Characters: Lily Evans Potter, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald (Harry Potter) Additional Tags: Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Hogwarts Seventh Year, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary: As the Gryffindor seventh years navigate their final year at Hogwarts, James and Lily must also navigate working together as head students, and their quickly evolving relationship.

[teenageangelwitch]

Of Seashells and Salt

"Do you even know what love is?", he asked. I remained silent. I didn't say a thing because no words can describe what I feel for you. The way your eyes feel like home. How your heartbeat is the sweetest music I've heard. How I feel divine when I throw a comment and it makes you laugh. How me in your arms is heaven itself. The stabbing pain in my gut when I know you're not okay. The way that you look at me when say something that makes no sense. How, when I tasted your mind and realized I was starving. The way I would gladly be the fuel for your soul to burn bright. How I know I'd crush the world to dust if it meant one last hug. How do I describe this to a person who thinks love is some sort of grand savior? Who doesn't know that love can be simple, can be ugly, can just... be? He thinks love is something poetic. He doesn't understand that poetry is about the emotion, not the flowery words. So I said nothing and he took my silence for defeat. He laughed, not knowing he's the joke. He said I didn't know love, as if the judgement was his to pass. "How do you claim to love him?", he asked. He expects me to love you the way Paris loved Helen. But I love you the way the fish love the sea and the sea loves it's salt.

[grimdarling69]

Another deaged Ellie and Dan, but Danny was reincarnated as Damian Wayne

Danny Damian because he was Damian now, wasn't he? He remembers now the Fentons, the GIW, Sam and Tucker, jazz. He wonders if they could have also followed him here. A part of him longs to see his fraid again, but are they his fraid still? He was a new person. Son of The Bat and Heir to the Demon Head. Something Dami he remembers reminding people of. If only Sam could see him now, he knows she'd love that. "Who's edgy now?" He can picture her saying. He can almost see Tucker laughing so hard he'd fall out of his seat.

Crack

The sharp sound of the thunder brings him to the present. He looked over at his clock, 3:00 A.M. The witching hour he can hear Ellie tell him with a mischievous smile on one of their flights around Amity Park. She loved to drag him and Dan sometimes Vlad if he was feeling friendly. Dan, his future evil self tormented by the deaths of all his family and friends, so hurt he got Vlad to rip his human half out so he didn't have to feel the pain. Ellie, his clone, created by Vlad to be the perfect son, too bad she was a daughter. Looking down at his stomach where their cores are now incubating, he couldn't help but wonder if Vlad had anything to do with this.

He shook his head as if that would rid himself of that thought. Vlad was a real fruitloop,but he would never purposefully endanger Dan or Ellie. Vlad, in his twisted and weird ways, did love them in his own ways like kidnapping and keeping him hostage to save Ellie. He had forgiven vlad for the desperate attempt to save his daughter, but incubating Ellie and Dan's cores would make him their father now, too. Ew, coparenting with Vlad does not sound like a fun time. He glanced down and lifted his shirt hesitantly. If he focused on his stomach, he could see a faint blue and red glow emanating from his stomach. Red, Vlads' color, he thought distantly. Hopefully, it didn't mean much. As if signaling him, the envelope they had carried with them to him fell off the bed carried to the floor by the slight breeze.

Lighting lumineating the bedroom, making the crisp white color shine for just a second. He tentatively reached down to grab it. He was being a baby. He was a trained assassin from birth, and his fear trained beaten out of him a long time ago. Some part of him whispered his father and Richard's teachings of being brave but not without fear.

He paused. Father would want to know everything. His past life, Ellie and Dan, the ghosts, being a halfa. He wouldn't understand, Richard would try to, but not even he could never really understand. He couldn't subject his babies to that. He couldn't live with the threat to being ripped apart molecule by molecule. His father's lack of emotional intelligence certainly would not help young halfas. He was fourteen again the age he was killed in his first life. The age he started facing ghosts from another dimension.

He started younger in this life. Killing younger, he learned to fight his whole life. Jazz would hate that. Jazz... he wondered if she was alright if she survived the attack... no, there's no time to think of that right now. He ripped open the envelope( like a band-aid, Richard would remind him), and he noticed Vlad's familiar fancy fruitloop writing immediately(he had fancy fruitloop writing now, instead of the chicken scratch Jazz chided him over). So he was right about one thing this had vlad all over it.

Dear Daniel,

Though I understand you might not be Daniel when this letter finds you. I have been reincarnated into another life as I believe you have as well. My new name is Alexander Luther. I own a corporation called Lexcorp. I unfortunately can not change the name according to my board. The idiot lot of them.

He snickered at that. His smile dropped immediately. Vlad was Lex Luthor, the archnemesis of Superman. Jon would most certainly not like this. He forced himself to read on before he spiraled further.

I regained my memories after an experiment went wrong. I know how original. My new incarnation was able to open a small portal that grew in size, and eventually, somehow Danielle and Dan fell through. The portal then exploded, and I regained my memories. Unfortunately, it destabilized their clone bodies. I couldn't grow working bodies in time, and eventually, I had to hope they could find you. I hoped somehow that the yeti doctor would have imparted some of his strange knowledge onto you that might save them.

Vlad, no Lex still wrong. Vlad was somewhat right about that. During one of his all things ghostly lessons from Frostbite, he told him of how in the old ages ghosts often incubated their ghostlings. A protective measure back when magic and spirits were more prevalent. He didn't really understand it back then, and he doesn't understand it much now, either. Apart from the fact he was doing it, he supposed. What if he did something wrong and he lost them? He doesn't think he could live out his half-life if he lost them again. He needed to get to Vlad, and quickly too so they could start building a new portal to the infinite realms.

If this letter finds you. Come find me immediately at these coordinates. I've gone deep underground to escape my new archnimesis's suoer senses. I've m started research on a new portal, but I'll need your endeneering skills. This world is severely lacking in ectoplasmic science and engineering. I am once again forced to start from scratch on my own. Once we get the portal open, you'll need to go straight to The Far Frozen.

It's as if he's reading my mind, I think jokingly.

P.s. One of my experiments may or not have regiven then my new DNA in an attempt to restabilize them.

Only Vlad.

Well, it looks like they actually were going to be coparenting after all. This was going to go great.

I sigh and lean my head back down on my pillow. He committed the cords to memory before lighting the letter on fire with the lighter he kept in his bedside drawer. Point to assassin training. Jason would be proud. He supposed he could stay for a month or so before leaving, which would give him enough time to get away or think of some kind of mission to give himself. He shoots up. Todd had died and came back. He was a revenant. He couldn't stick around if he were to visit he'd know something was wrong immediately even if he didn't understand it.

He sprung out of bed quickly, but quietly, his foot steps perfectly silent despite his rushed mood of packing a bag. He packed a few pairs of clothes and lots of hidden weapons, some snacks he kept hidden for that should keep him fed on his journey but leaving any sentimental things behind. He glanced longingly at his sketch pad, but Vlad was most likely under the water judging by the coordinates he was given. Who knows if it would survive.

He checked the pack, making sure he got all he needed. He promptly checked it again. Twice. After deeming it sufficient, he willed himself to open the door. He mentally cataloged everyone in the manor. Pennyworth was most likely still in Father's room, making sure he actually listened to his insructions. Richard and Todd in Bludhaven and Crime Alley, respectfully. Cain and Brown in Hong Kong. Thomas was sleeping after his dayshift.

Everyone accounted for except Drake. He was most likely using Pennyworth's attention on Father to work cases. He just had to take the risk. For his ghostlings, for himself, Vlad. He crept down the hallways. He was opening the grandfather clock in record time. He went slower this time. He would use his powers, but his father had supernatural wards of all kinds in the cave. Who knows what they did. He was also admittedly trying to save his little energy for his voyage on the open sea. Light snoring hit his ears as he peered around the corner.

Thank ancients.

Drake was sleeping at the batcomputer, still in his Red Robin suit sans mask surrounded by his poor choices. Empty coffee cups and files spread around. He would still need to be quiet, Drake was a light sleeper, as was everyone else in his family. He grabbed the keys to his bike quickly, sneaking by. If he wasn't ditching his bike at Gotham Bridge, he would have disabled his trackers. He checked the gas and made sure he could make it. That's when he made his first mistake.

Putting the gas jug back down, he accidently hit another of one of his siblings' tools to the floor. He tried catching it without success, but it fell anyway, the loud clang echoing. Mistake number two.

Shit.

"Huh? What's happening?" Drake arose sleepily rubbing his eyes.

He froze. Mistake number three.

"Damian? What are you doing down here?" His eyes landed on him, and he spoke confusedly with his voice heavy with sleep or lack thereof.

He panics. He's blaming the pregnancy hormones on this.

He runs.

"Damian!" Drake responded to his dead sprint with his own. "Stop!"

He reaches his bike, and he turns the keys and prays. Luckily, it comes to life. He fumbles with his helmet it would hide his tears he needed it. who knows if he'll ever get to see them again. He shoots off down the tunnel. Flicking the cave door open remotely.

Another bike rears to life behind him. "Damian wants going on?" Drakes voice echoes in his ears. He can almost taste the concern in it amplified by the helmet. He ignores it and accelerates. He ignores the returned acceleration behind him.

----------------

Tim has no clue what made Damian panic enough to run away. He quickly ran to his own bike while swearing. Damian is already gaining distance on him. After another attempt at getting Damian to calm down and talk, he calls the only person Damian would actually listen to.

He hopes Dick will forgive him for waking him at five o'clock in the morning on his day off.

[vodid]

it wasn't meant to be like this, but i'll get you out. i promise. i know you're exhausted, i know you're feeling hopeless. we'll get to hug and kiss and touch again. i promise...

...i promise.

...

@blitzbee-week day 1: forbidden

next

[linkedin-offficial]

unrequited (in more ways than one)

⠀

[gayboytboy]

imagine a dom with his head between your thighs but he refuses to touch your tdick until you use your words to tell him what you want but he makes you so nervous and horny you cant get the words out so you try to grind into his face but he holds your hips in place and blows on your dripping hole

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[juniemunie]

remade this again because im angry and mindless editing lessened it

So. That new announcement. And the fact its an adaptation of the animated trilogy, not a continuation or any innovation.

Yeah. Im just gonna watch the actual httyd1 and pretend that never happened.

Dont fall for the nostalgia bait bros, let that scheme shrivel up and die.

Incoming rant below about this

-...-...-...-

People already know the reasons why its going to be shit so I wont say it again

Considering how Dean has completely misinterpreted the major themes of the first movie, I cant trust him at all with this one nor would I want to

Powell made a perfect masterpiece with the og, idk what else he would do or add on with this one but i can only hope ig, but even then-

Seriously, what else is there to add? The story is tight. Maybe a little more of Toothless' perspective, giving him more scenes of agency and character, but does Dean even still see him as more than a baby pet?? Does he even give a rat's ass about aLL THAT???? HAHHAHAHHAHA

Just. We all know its not gonna work. I have an inkling that all "show dont tell" sequences are just going to get marred or removed of all nuance. I do not want to see Downed Dragon, Forbidden Friendship, New Tail, Test Drive, or Romantic Flight or practically any of the scenes that made me love this movie get a poor imitation.

You really think live action can mimic the body language, gestures, tHE WAY THE DRAGONS FLY in the first movie or miraciously somehow make it even better? You really think the music of the first could even be topped? YOU THINK THE CINEMATOGRAPHY, THE SHOTS AND LIGHTING WOULD BE COPIED??

Either way, at the end of the day, they already know they cant beat the original movie. All they need to do is horrendously mimic some parts to keep your interest, whether its a beloved scene or music. You're not watching the new one because you love the new, you're gonna watch it because you loved the original.

I really hope it either gets dropped, sent to development hell, or ends so bad that they cant make more. Please please please i hope it gets the ATLA movie treatment

Just when I thought Puss in Boots and Bad Guys were gonna start a Dreamworks Renaissance, this shit happens.

Stop ruining the movies i adore and love, please and thank you

[c0smiccom3t]

Dimension Dyfenders Mini-newsletter blog - OCTOBER EDITION!

Hello, everyone!! Welcome back to a new D.D newsletter blog post! This time, like ive said ever since a month ago, it's not a big one, but it's very exciting indeed! So, i guess you can call this a "mini"-newsletter post. Now without further ado... Let's hop 2 it!

BIG NEWS REGARDING POCKET ADVENTURES!!

You guys still remember pocket adventures, do you? If so, remember the part where i said its first minisode's script was half-way done? Well... THIS JUST IN! I'm happy to announce that the script is OFFICIALLY FINISHED! Now, all that I have left for minisode 1 at this rate is finishing up all of its pages! And speaking of pages, Here are some panels from the upcoming pages from the comic, possibly to be finished in April, and planned to be released in May 2025 (the series' anniversary month)!

And that's not all! A script for a minisode of pocket adventures also finished production a while ago. (It's not minisode 2.) But hey, i'm saving that for another time, anyway. It's way too soon, and summer has already passed, so... Maybe next time, waves will be easier to catch. Who knows?🌊🏄‍♂️🏖️

What's that you're saying?

"Comet, that's great and all that Pocket Adventures minisode 1 is coming along great! But what about Toonies?"

Ohhh Am I GLAD you asked!

Lucky for you all, I have more toonies comics planned right inside my noggin. So, once i can think up of any good ideas, they will be released for you all to enjoy! As for the new fans however... Since there are some people (esp on Bluesky) who are NUTS abt Indie animation and comics and all that and want to know about D.D's world, premise, cast, etc... I'm happy to announce that RE-INTRODUCTION COMICS ARE IN THE PLANS! they may not be in development, yet. But I can assure you, new fans who discover this series will get their cake! OH YEAH! I forgot to mention another thing... Sometimes in toonies and in the reintro comics, there will be chibi versions of the characters getting into shenanigans! Here's what one of our characters will look like as a chibi, courtesy of the y2k artstyle and Knockout himself.

Look at this, isn't he adorable?? Just think of what the other characters will look like! the possibilities are endless!

I dont know when those comics will be made and uploaded. But trust me, wether it's the re-intro comics, toonies or Pocket Adventures, you're sure in for a treat! Okay... I'm sure there isn't anything else i wanna say, is there...? Oh yeah! Almost forgot!

So... About the specials.

Yes, I mean the Halloween special AND the supposed to be 3rd anniversary special. As much as it pains me to say it, the latter is NO LONGER an anniversary special due to time constraints and IRL stuff getting in the way. Instead, it will be a regular special! (It's still a special though!) It will be rewritten to fit less into the anniversary type and instead it will be made about something thats the same (the gala) but just 30% different which i cannot say because i put an NDA on myself and i can't get it out because if i try to his highness will kill me.

As for the good news, I can say that there's another special in the back of my mind. Actually, its script has been in development for a while now! Just give it a few februarys and it'll happen. However, i'm not telling what it is, but I'm positive that it'll leave you... Love-struck.👑💕

Speaking of plans and whatnot, I'll have to reveal that there isn't gonna be much content in 2025 after m01, mostly because i'll be working on the minisodes and won't release them until theyre finished and because me and my mom have been thinking of moving back to italy next year once im done with art school. So, that means D.D might go on yet ANOTHER hiatus, unfortunately. HOWEVER, I have BIG plans for 2026! Plans that i can't go much into detail (once again NDA by myself). But i can definitely tell you all, that's its gonna be amazing! No, it's not animated (yet.) but it's def worth waiting for!

And for any "fansies" reading this. Trust me, he's NOT leaving anytime soon, and you know it!

As for other stuff before i close this off. There will be a thread on my bluesky about introducing you all to Dimension Dyfenders as a whole! (once i finish up with concept art + ref sheets and new renders im currently working on.) So, be sure to look out 4 it!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! I am so excited to show off what this series will get into next as yours truly tries to carry it on their back while its 2 team members are away as much as they can! And trust me, I'll be sure to NOT disappoint you all. And thats a promise.

once again, thank you for reading and thank you all for your support! I still will be on the lookout for any fanart i see about the series! Remember, stuff like that and criticism are very appreciated here!! Have a riftastic day/night!!

[siobhanbooks]

a present for @taumoebaa and @alltoowellread

I love you, Bodhi Durran, You’re my sunshine, and the sun won't shine if you aren't here

For context, Bodhi is very badly injured and unconscious, Ridoc has not spoken to him in days.

[lecliss]

The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!

[lethesbeastie]

I miss being able to do more than 3 things in a day.

There's something wrong with my body, with my brain. Something I haven't put a name to yet, though I've got hypothesis of what it might be. Something is plaguing my body, weighing down my limbs, my heart, my head.

Do you ever feel as if you live your life wading through water? Like you've been drowning for years, chained by your ankles to am impossible weight, struggling inch by inch across the open ocean floor?

Probably not.

I'm starting to realize the way I live is far from mundane, farther still from humane. I struggle to eat. Struggle to shower. To stop. To rest. Like a shark underwater, I swear on God it feels if I stop moving, I will drown.

I can't stop moving, can't sit still, can't escape the static that starts to stutter up my spine the moment i try. It hurts to sit more than it hurts to move, more than it hurts to grind my own joints into dust, chasing the slender phantom of nervous system regulation.

Stimming, I'd said. That's what the pacing is, that's why I have to stay on my feet from the moment I leave my bed, that's why I can't ever, ever sit still.

I'm not so sure about it now.

It hurts to sit still. Hurts to move. Hurts to think and think and think, to have ideas, to want to Make, but to be denied release by the exhaustion that plagues my body.

I'm tired. So tired. I am tired of feeling tired, of feeling both everything and nothing at all. Nervous system circuits short circuiting inside me, I'm impatient with my own exhaustion, desperate to do anything except to search for rest. No one has ever taught me how to rest.

There is something wrong with my body. Something I'm trying to name (something that the doctors will claim is nothing at all), something haunting me, parasitic in its nature, in its pupputeering of my aching, shaking hands.

I want it to get better. Want to stop feeling half dead and less than alive when I rise to greet a day that's almost over. Want to stop seeing the disappointment in my mother's eyes when once again, I cannot gather myself into some semblance of humanity long enough to do the god damned dishes.

I'm trying to fix this mom, I promise. Thank you for doing the dishes for me. I'm sorry I can't get better fast enough. Yeah, I'm tired of my bullshit too.

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

You Just Put the Dick in Your Mouth - Part 3

Yang Jeongin x Kim Seungmin

Word Count: 6844

Contents: innie’s self deprecating thoughts are getting worse, best friends to lovers, angst, jeongin crying, handjob, fingering, accidental confession

Previous | Next

Confused.

That’s how Jeongin felt. 

Every day of the last nearly two weeks he and Seungmin seemed to be straying further and further from friendship. It seemed something about seeking comfort from Jeongin had changed Seungmin, or at least how they interacted. He was always nice and kind and caring towards Jeongin. He always had been. He had always checked up on him or helped him with things or just made sure Jeongin was okay. 

But something about it all felt decidedly softer. Aside from the fact that Seungmin was seeking out cuddles from him every few days now and more than once they had fallen asleep in the other’s bed, Seungmin had taken to making Jeongin food, giving him more hugs, and even holding his hand once while watching a movie, humming out that it was a nice and comforting feeling.

Jeongin thought that at some point his heart wouldn’t be able to take it any more. It was almost painful, the way Seungmin would softly speak to him, asking “Did you eat yet?” or “Did you sleep well?” He really thought his heart would burst from hearing “Your hair looks good like that, Innie.” again.

His heart was aching in the worst way tonight as he laid in Seungmin’s arms yet again, fingers running through his hair while his mind contorted into horrid shapes. Everything felt so comfortable and right and it was all Jeongin wanted. All of the actions; the kisses, the cuddles, the sweetness and softness and care was like a dream come true.

But…

Seungmin wasn’t his and he wasn’t Seungmin’s. Wouldn't Seungmin say it if he wanted to be with him? Wouldn’t he have asked him outright if he felt the way Jeongin did? So what was he doing? He couldn’t stomach the idea that his friend was taking advantage of him for sex or comfort or even all the benefits of dating without exclusively dating. Seungmin wouldn’t do that to him. He couldn’t.

So it left the lingering question; why was he doing this?

“You okay, Innie?” Seungmin’s voice was soft in the way that made Jeongin’s heart melt no matter how many times he heard the phrase, filled with sweetness and gentle concern.

“Yeah,” Innie knew he sounded far away because he was. His body felt so comfortable but there was dull pain in his heart and his brain couldn’t keep quiet and still for more than a second. He wanted too badly for this to be his life, his everyday, his everything.

But Seungmin wanted his friendship and asking the question or making the admission to get what he wanted jeopardized that, maybe it would even destroy it.

That thought was even harder to bear.

“You seem lost in thought.”

Like an open fucking book. He thought. It was worse that Seungmin knew his body language, his expressions, his mind. He had no poker face with him. Utterly defenseless without any hope of putting a guard up. What was the use of a shield when Seungmin could disarm him so effortlessly with a single look from his soft eyes.

Putty, he thought to himself. A pathetic little ball of putty in his hands.

Maybe that was the worst part. No matter what Seungmin truly wanted, Jeongin didn’t know that he had the strength to turn it down. He would, all too easily, take anything Seungmin was willing to give him, whether it was what he truly wanted or not. He just wanted to be close to him like this, even if it didn’t include a pretty title. Even if he wasn’t Seungmin’s Innie.

“Yeah,” he hummed, snuggling into Seungmin’s chest a little more. “I guess I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Jeongin hesitated, biting down on his lip while he contemplated what to say and how to say it. He didn’t know that opening up about it all was the best of decisions. Or maybe he was just a coward, too scared to ask for what he truly wanted. Unable to properly face his own feelings and put it out there.

How asking to give his friend a blowjob was easier than asking him to be his boyfriend he didn’t know. All that he knew is it was, in fact, much easier.

Seungmin’s fingers curled into Jeongin’s hair and tugged back very gently, only enough to urge Jeongin to look at him. Jeongin relented, unable to resist Seungmin’s sweet coaxing. He leaned back, feeling the warmth rise under his skin as Seungmin gazed at him with concern, again brushing his fingers soothingly through Jeongin’s hair.

“What’s going on?” He asked with the type of gingerly careful tone Jeongin was sure he’d only ever heard in dramas.

“Just…” He wasn’t sure what to say, knowing he would never in a million years get a confession off his lips. He didn’t think he would ever in his right mind be able to convince himself to express his true feelings, even if they were sitting in the back of his throat like if he was careless he might just cough them out. “Just stuff. I-I have some things on my mind and I’m not sure what to do about them.”

“Do you need some advice?” Seungmin hummed.

A smile tugged at Jeongin’s lips, if only he could ask Seungmin. This was perhaps the one matter in the whole world in which he couldn’t seek advice from him. “Maybe in the future? I think I need to really understand my own feelings first.”

“Okay,” Seungmin gave him a kiss on the nose. “You know you can come to me whenever, yeah?”

Not about this.

“Yeah, I know,” Jeongin hummed, leaning in to press a chaste kiss against Seungmin’s lips. “Thanks for being there for me.” Another kiss.

“Of course,” Seungmin smiled into the kisses. “I really care about you.”

Jeongin tried hard to quell the way the butterflies in his stomach got caught up in the tornado-like storm that was originating from his heart. “I care about you, too.” So close to what he wanted to say. If he wasn’t such a wimp maybe he would actually be able to take a leap of faith. “A lot.”

Seungmin nuzzled his nose against Jeongin’s in a way that made Jeongin utterly melt. It was all too sweet and it made his heart hurt worse and worse.

“I’m glad I have you around, you know,” Seungmin murmured. “I mean, I’m glad you’re in my life.”

Jeongin ducked his head, sure that his heart was about to burst. It was bad enough that he was so sweet and soft these days but the sweet nothings that had started leaving his lips as of late when they cuddled were really going to be Jeongin’s undoing. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could survive. He didn’t know how Seungmin could say something so sweet with purely platonic intentions. He didn’t know how he was managing to hide the way it was tearing his heart into little tiny pieces.

“You’re too nice,” Jeongin mumbled.

“I just like you too much,” Seungmin chuckled. “You’re so warm and comfy I can’t help myself.” He coaxed Jeongin’s face out from his neck only to pinch his cheek gently. “You’re just too cute. I feel like I have to tell you.”

“Shut up.” The words were muffled against Seungmin’s lips as Jeongin kissed him in some futile attempt to escape the way Seungmin’s words were messing with his head. The whole gesture made Seungmin laugh but he returned the kisses anyway, hands slipping down to wrap around Jeongin’s waist and hold him close.

“Can’t,” Seungmin hummed. “It’s much more fun to tell you. You get even cuter.”

Jeongin kissed him harder, pressing against him like the very act would calm the butterflies down when it, in fact, did just the opposite. It was like the sweetest torture that could ever be. Like heaven and hell colliding into a perfect little pocket of space and time just for him and he couldn’t stand it.

“You can’t say those things,” Jeongin whined between kisses.

“I can express myself all I want,” Seungmin chuckled.

“Not like that,” Jeongin pulled back.

“Yes I can,” Seungmin snorted.

A frown was pulling at Jeongin’s lips now as his frustration grew and his tone became whinier. “You can’t.”

Seungmin searched his face for a moment before his expression softened. “I can’t?”

“No,” Said Jeongin simply.

“Why not?” He asked, grinning slightly in amusement at Jeongin’s seemingly childish responses. His fingers started to work their way up Jeongin’s sides, almost tickling him.

“Because,” Jeongin squirmed in Seungmin’s grasp.

“Just because?” Seungmin quirked an eyebrow at him and smirked. “Just because, I can’t call you cute and tell you that I like you so much?”

“Yes,” Jeongin knew how whiny he sounded and that it was only making Seungmin more amused but he didn’t quite know how to stop it. All he knew is he couldn’t take much more of Seungmin’s sweet nothings. It was going to drive him completely mad. The tickling wasn’t helping either, making him start to giggle as well.

“Just because isn’t a very good reason to not say you’re really precious to me,” Seungmin said.

“Shut up!” Jeongin could feel his face burning and the butterflies fluttering and his heart breaking all at the same time as he threw a leg over Seungmin and pushed him onto his back. He grabbed the hands that had been tickling him and pinned them down to the bed next to Seungmin’s head. Seungmin gazed at him, dazed and unfocused for a moment as a blush crept up his cheeks.

“This- ah- I’m guessing this has to do with that thing you don’t want to talk about?”

Jeongin felt the pang of panic rip through his heart at just how close Seungmin was to figuring him out.  He leaned down quickly as his face burned, the desperation making him more bold as he kissed Seungmin hard until he was out of breath. Seungmin returned the kisses eagerly, squirming a little under Jeongin. Something about the sudden desperation creeping into his reactions helped Jeongin’s confidence.

He pulled back just enough to see Seungmin’s face as he panted from the kisses, eyes fluttering open.

“We’re not going to talk about it,” Jeongin breathed. He rolled his hips down hard into Seungmin’s earning a groan from him. “Okay?”

Seungmin met his gaze with sweet eyes, but not in a gentle and caring way, in a desperate way. “O-Okay,” He stammered.

Satisfied, Jeongin closed the distance between them again, meeting Seungmin’s lips with a kiss. Seungmin’s lips greeted his needily as he squirmed under Jeongin, his wrists wiggling a little in Jeongin’s grasp. He was a little more pliant, so easily letting Jeongin’s tongue past his lips and moaning at the sensation. It all might have gone to Jeongin’s head were it not already full.

As his nerves slowly calmed, the shock of Seungmin’s near-revelation fading, Jeongin started to move his hips. It felt more and more natural each time he did it, feeling Seungmin’s warmth under him as he moved slowly, mind very slow to clear of stresses as his body started to enjoy the sensations, brain sluggishly catching up. Even when he gave Jeongin a myriad of butterflies something about Seungmin and his scent made him feel just a little more calm. 

Jeongin shifted his hips, angling down just a little more and letting out a groan at both the way the sensation and rushes of pleasure intensified and how he could tell how quickly Seungmin was growing hard underneath him. Despite how he was enjoying being on top of Seungmin, and just how responsive Seungmin was all of a sudden, the feeling of him getting harder by the second was only serving to fill what little space was left in Jeongin’s brain with thoughts of Seungmin sinking his cock into Jeongin and fucking him positively dumb.

The thoughts sent a shiver through him that had him grinding down against Seungmin more roughly and squeezing his wrists a little tighter. He welcomed getting lost in the purely physical feelings as the thoughts in his mind slowly faded in the background, one by one. He let Seungmin’s scent, the taste of his lips, the sound of his moans, the feeling of his tongue and hips and wrists fill up his mind along with the fantasies that were becoming nearly impossible to hold back.

As Seungmin started to match his movements, rutting up with his own hips, Jeongin felt the desire to get even closer. His hands let go of Seungmin’s wrists, instead coming to steady himself as you pressed down as close to Seungmin as he could. It was inevitable; the kisses and dry humping and every damn thing about Seungmin was making him needy once again.

Seungmin’s hands slipped down to Jeongin’s waist, holding him firmly. Jeongin hummed at the contact, grinding down a little more slowly and enjoying the sensation, savouring it while Seungmin squeezed him. 

He could feel it in the kisses, as his own movements showed more desperation and Seungmin seemed to recover from whatever it was that shocked him at the outset, that the dynamic was shifting. Seungmin took control of the kisses and set the pace of their hips, slowing it down and urging Jeongin to grind down on him harder and painfully slowly. He swallowed the whimpers that started to make it off of Jeongin’s lips at the arousal igniting inside of him with each movement until he tightened his grip and smoothly flipped him over. Jeongin gasped as his back hit the bed, eyes flying open to look up at Seungmin watching him as sat between Jeongin’s legs.

“Since you don’t wanna talk,” Seungmin murmured. “What do you want to do?”

Jeongin’s teeth sunk into his bottom lip as he tried to parse through the fantasies that had played behind his eyelids. He knew what he wanted to try but the words to say it seemed too embarrassing of an admission. He didn’t exactly have to admit to every detail of his fantasies, but still.

Seungmin tutted at him as the seconds passed. “Are you going to make me guess?”

“N-No,” Jeongin managed, face starting to burn. And then. “M-Maybe?”

Seungmin chuckled, bringing a hand up from his waist to cup Jeongin’s cheek in a way that made his heart burst as he leaned in a little closer. “Well, which one is it? No or maybe?”

Jeongin averted his eyes to look over Seungmin’s shoulder at nothing in particular. “I-I- It’s not really- It’s um-”

“Innie,” Seungmin’s voice was so gentle as he called Jeongin to meet his eye again. “Is it something new?”

Jeongin didn’t say a word. He simply clamped his lips shut and nodded. 

Seungmin’s thumb smoothed over his cheek soothingly. “You don’t want to say it out loud?”

Jeongin shut his eyes as if that would somehow let him hide from his own feelings as embarrassment and shame washed up inside him. It wasn’t as if Seungmin would laugh at him or think it was weird.

He might.

Jeongin tried to hush his brain as he formed a response. “It’s- It’s a bit different. It’s new. S-So maybe you don’t- maybe you wouldn’t-”

Jeongin’s breath hitched as he felt Seungmin lean in closer, lips brushing against his own. “I’m pretty open, at least for you.” There was a light, teasing tone to his voice that did Jeongin’s heart no good. “Try me.”

“C-Can you- W-Would you-” The words were still sticking in his throat like tree sap, stuck to one another in a big heap that was nearly impossible to dislodge. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth again and felt Seungmin pull back just a little.

“Innie, look at me,” Seungmin said softly. Jeongin wondered if Seungmin knew he simply couldn’t seem to refuse him. His eyes flitted open to meet Seungmin’s. A hint of a smirk was on his lips but his eyes were warm and inviting and expectant and it was like, without even realizing, they drew the words right out of him, warming the sticky sap until it flowed.

“Will you finger me?” The words tumbled off his lips quickly and not as sweetly as they could have but Seungmin didn’t seem to mind. On the contrary, the smirk was starting to spread across his lips, eyes glinting mischievously.

“Hmm, so you’ve been thinking about my fingers, then?”

You have no idea how right you are.

Jeongin shut his eyes again, this time to hide from the man who was so clearly amused by him. Was he just being flirty or did he guess that that easily? Was anything in Jeongin’s mind a secret? Could he keep even one thing hidden? He felt his face burning and he squirmed a little, even more embarrassed that Seungmin’s words sent a rush of arousal through him.

“N-No.”

Very convincing.

“Are you sure?” Seungmin leaned in, past his lips to nip at his ear. “Did this idea simply come out of thin air or have you thought about it before?”

All Jeongin could do was squirm, letting a soft whimper fall from his lips. The warm, velvet tone of Seungmin’s voice murmuring to him was only serving to make him harder all before he’d even been touched. The whole ordeal was mortifying and his hands found their way to his face, covering it in his embarrassment.

Seungmin pressed a kiss under his ear. “You poor thing.”

Jeongin weakly jabbed his knee into Seungmin’s side with a pitiful whine.

“Innie,” he hummed. “I promise I’ll be nice if you look at me.”

Jeongin spread his fingers, peeking through them at Seungmin. His smile was warm and comforting once again as his hands moved to rub Jeongin’s sides.

“I’m sorry,” He offered. “I told you you’re too cute. I can’t help myself.”

Jeongin wrinkled his nose. “Bad apology.” He muttered.

Seungmin snickered and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his burning cheek before finding his lips. He kissed Jeongin slowly, with a low burning passion that made his heart clench tightly in a horrible way. He did his best to ignore that, enjoying the kisses and helped along when Seungmin pressed the heel of his palm into the bulge in Jeongin’s sweats.

Jeongin gasped into the kisses, moans started to slip past his lips. Seungmin swallowed every last one, deepening the kisses and pressing closer to him. Jeongin did his best to follow the kisses despite the way his head was starting to spin from the sparks of pleasure. It was so simple, the movement of Seungmin’s hand, but it was quickly working him up and making him needier.

Seungmin’s free hand snuck its way under Jeongin’s shirt and his breath hitched at the gentle touch against his skin. He felt warmth spreading through him and a painful yearning in his chest at the intimate gesture. His thoughts twisted painfully at the reminder that none of this was as permanent as he wanted it to be. He’d end up back in his own bed, alone and missing Seungmin’s touch and comfort and presence every single time.

Jeongin tried to swallow the feelings down; they mixed with everything else in his stomach in an uneasy way. Despite that he didn’t want Seungmin to read into it too much, didn’t want him to stop. If Seungmin never fell in love with him at least he could have him like this.

Seungmin’s lips moved from his own and Jeongin let out a whimper in response. His eyes stayed closed as he felt Seungmin’s lips move across his jaw. His fingertips slid down Jeongin’s stomach in a way that made his breath hitch as Seungmin’s lips found home in the hollow below his ear, sucking lightly on the sensitive skin. His hips pressed up of their own volition against Seungmin’s hand and he felt Seungmin’s lips curl into a grin against his skin.

“I like having you like this so much.” An admission that would have served to make Jeongin more embarrassed if it left his lips seemed to carry confidence when it came from Seungmin’s. And rightly so since it drew a quiet whine from Jeongin’s lips. He shifted up, pressing against Seungmin’s hand again.

“You’re so sweet.” 

A whimper fell off of Jeongin’s lips at Seungmin’s words. He was only falling in deeper with each word and he wished he could feel any other way than so in love and turned on from his words. If it were easy to pull away, if it were easy to not want this so badly he’d stop. He’d go back to an easy friendship and forget all of this ever happened.

If only it were that simple.

“Seungmin,” the name fell so quietly off his lips but he felt Seungmin’s lips press a lingering kiss to his neck before his answer.

“Yes?”

“C-Can you- can we…?”

Seungmin pulled back and Jeongin forced his eyes open, breath hitching at the intensity of Seungmin’s gaze, the way it was drenched in desire. Jeongin felt caught in it, like a deer transfixed in place. He swallowed hard, squirming a little underneath Seungmin and trying to resist the urge to grind up against the hand that was still against his clothed cock.

“You want to move on?” He hummed.

“I-Is that okay?”

Seungmin kissed his nose in such a sweet way that made him feel like he’d been punched in the gut. “Of course, Innie.”

Seungmin sat back on his knees, hands on Jeongin’s waist and tugged at him, coaxing him to sit up too. Jeongin would have followed anyway, Seungmin was like his sun, with his own gravitational pull just for Jeongin. He leaned in to meet Seungmin’s lips again, stealing a kiss. And then two. And then three. Seungmin didn’t seem to mind, in fact he seemed more than pleased to let Jeongin steal as many kisses as his heart desired.

When Jeongin did pull away Seungmin was giving him an easy smile with puffy, kiss-swollen lips, so tempting to steal just one more. His cheeks were a warm, rosy pick and his soft hair falling into his eyes. The soft, enticing image of him so utterly perfect and making Jeongin love him more with every passing second. Those three little words felt like they were sticking to the walls of his throat. So secure and yet so easy to dislodge. He let out a slow breath, arms still loosely hanging around Seungmin’s neck.

“Do you have any particular position you’d like, Innie?”

His voice was warm and it warmed all of Jeongin upon hearing it. He was sure his cheeks were flushing at the question as he hid his face in Seungmin’s neck, not quite sure how to answer. Did he want to admit to his preferred position of ass in the air and face smushed into his pillows. Could he even manage to say that out loud? What was the best position when it wasn’t just him? Would Seungmin find that weird, or not like it?

“U-Uh anything is okay, I-I think?” He mumbled.

Seungmin snaked a hand between them, gripping Jeongin’s chin gently and pulling his face out of hiding to look at him. “Have you done this before?”

Jeongin refused to meet his eyes, feeling the embarrassment filling him more every second and wondering if there would come a day where these kinds of things wouldn’t fluster him. “M-Maybe a couple of times.”

Seungmin chuckled, leaning in for a soft kiss before murmuring against Jeongin’s lips. “You’re so cute.” Another kiss. “Can you lay over my lap on your stomach for me, cutie?”

Jeongin wasn’t sure if it was just purely to tease him or because Seungmin liked the sound of the pet name but either way it was making his head spin. He nodded without saying a word, not trusting his own voice for a second as he did as Seungmin asked. He thought this might be the best position, able to hide in the pillows and muffle his moans and grip the sheets and not unlike what he had done himself.

It didn’t stop him from feeling shy, heart beating wildly as Seungmin’s hands ran up the backs of his thighs before hooking into the waistband of his sweats. Jeongin squirmed a little, fingers digging into the soft duvet tightly as he let out a shaky breath.

“Can I take these off?” Seungmin toyed with the soft fabric with one hand, the other rubbing Jeongin’s back. Surely it was meant to calm him but it was only making him feel more turned on. 

“Mhm,” the sounds came out very high in Jeongin’s voice but he held back his whine of embarrassment. Seungmin gave his thigh a little squeeze before slowly slipping his sweats and boxers down his legs. Jeongin took in a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to quell the thoughts that were washing over him of what Seungmin might think of this part of his body he had yet to see.

“It’s unbelievable that every inch of you is so pretty, Innie.” The words fell so easily off of Seungmin’s lips, as if they didn’t make Jeongin’s heart burst like fireworks had just gone off. Jeongin couldn’t help the giggle that fell off his lips as he hid his face fully in a pillow, if for no other reason than to try and hide how warm his skin had gotten. He shook his head a little bit, trying to refuse the compliment but apparently Seungmin wasn’t having that.

“I mean it, cutie,” his fingers dragged slowly up the back of Jeongin’s thigh. “You’re just so pretty.”

Don’t let that go to your head.

It might be the only time he was in agreement with his inner thoughts, trying not to like the new pet name too much. He couldn’t get used to such things, he couldn’t let himself think it meant anything or that Seungmin meant anything by it.

He did anyway.

Seungmin reached to the side and Jeongin could hear the bedside table slide open and the closed. He bit down on his lip, trying to keep his breathing even as he heard the quiet sound of Seungmin squirting lube onto his fingers. He couldn't seem to help his nerves and excitement as butterflies fluttered their wings against the walls of his stomach. 

“Just relax for me, okay?” Seungmin murmured.

“O-Okay,” the word came out choked and definitely not relaxed and Seungmin chuckled.

“You know if you’re tense I can’t do this, Innie.”

“I know that,” he muttered into the pillow. 

“Can you take some deep breaths for me?”

Jeongin nodded. His breaths were a little uneven but he did his best. Seungmin ran one hand over his back soothingly while the other gently coaxed his legs apart a little more. With each breath he felt a little more tension leave his body, relaxing against Seungmin’s lap and soft bed. 

“Just like that,” Seungmin hummed. “Keep taking deep breaths for me.”

Jeongin did just as he said, though his breath hitched when he felt Seungmin’s finger start to run in gentle circles around his entrance. He curled his fingers further into the duvet as a rush of arousal ran through him from the gentle touch.

“So good for me.” The reassuring words fell off of Seungmin’s lips and Jeongin shyly burrowed into the pillow a little more, muffling his whimper. He didn’t dare say anything, not trusting his voice to carry his thoughts effectively, especially as Seungmin pushed the tip of his finger inside him.

It didn’t matter that he’d done this to himself before, it didn't matter how many times he’d imagined what it could be like, something about Seungmin’s finger pushing into him, his warm legs underneath him, his hand rubbing his back made it all very different. He felt so much more sensitive and needy when it was Seungmin, even more so than in his own daydreams and it came with a fresh wave of emotions. His breathing was a little more shallow as Seungmin carefully worked his finger in deeper. He took his time, squeezing at Jeongin’s waist and keeping his movements slow.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Jeongin could only let out a whimper, a slight nod even as he couldn’t quite get a deep breath. Even with his face in the pillow he squeezed his eyes shut. The waves of pleasure from each little movement of Seungmin’s fingers just felt like so much and it had far too many feelings filling him nearly to the brim. Lovely, wonderful, horrible, confusing, and painful feelings. 

“Are you sure?” Seungmin asked with so much tenderness it made Jeongin tremble a little, everything from his breath to his heart feeling uneven. Maybe it was how turned on he was and how much more sensitive he felt with Seungmin. Maybe it was his new acceptance of the love he felt. Maybe it was his own shyness and how big of a step this felt like it. Or maybe it was some mix of everything but his head and heart were full to the point of bursting that Jeongin was biting down on his lip and trying to swallow down the lump that was rapidly forming in his throat.

“Y-Yeah,” his voice was shaky and within seconds Seungmin pulled his finger away, leaving Jeongin whimpering.

“Innie, what’s wrong?” His voice was laced with concern and embarrassment started to mix with everything else inside of Jeongin, feeling as if he was overreacting to this overwhelming onslaught of emotions. 

“N-Nothing,” he muttered unconvincingly. He felt Seungmin gently pushing him over and it took a few seconds before he blinked his watery eyes open to meet Seungmin’s worried ones.

“What happened?” Seungmin leaned over him, cupping his face with his clean hand. “Did I hurt you? Was it-”

Jeongin shook his head, shifting his gaze. “No n-no. J-Just- I don’t know.”

“Do you want to just cuddle for a while?” Seungmin offered but Jeongin shook his head again. He knew he wanted to do this, he wasn’t sure why he was feeling so many things all at once, unable to keep things from spilling over.

“I want- We can- I wanna do this. It’s- It’s just different when I do it alone,” he managed.

Seungmin fixed him with a soft smile. “How about a different position? Maybe you’ll feel comfortable if we’re a little closer.”

Jeongin answered with a nod, sucking in a shaky breath and trying to steady himself. Seungmin didn’t let him think about it too much before he kissed him deeply. Some of the thoughts became a little fuzzy in his mind and he was thankful for any reprieve from them. 

Seungmin helped him to lay back on the bed properly before fully pulling off the sweats that had been bunched at his ankles. Seungmin settled between his legs before leaning over him and pressing another kiss to his lips. Jeongin relaxed a little more into the kisses, feeling Seungmin’s hands on his thighs before he slowly pushed his legs up towards his chest.

Jeongin gave Seungmin a wide-eyed look as he pulled back from the kiss, heart beating fast at the new position, so much more open than before, but Seungmin just kissed his nose with a grin.

“I need your legs back, Innie,” he hummed. 

“I-I know that,” he muttered, thankfully at least that Seungmin was close enough that he didn’t feel too exposed.

Seungmin leaned in to kiss him again, this time lingering and deepening the kiss while adding more lube to his finger. He started to tease Jeongin again. Slowly circling his finger before pushing it in halfway and moving in shallow thrusts and slow curls. At the same time he dragged Jeongin’s bottom lip between his teeth as he pulled back from the kiss, letting a moan fall freely from Jeongin’s throat. 

As he worked his finger deeper Jeongin let his eyes flutter open and immediately regretted it. Seungmin was watching him, gaze intense and a ghost of a smirk on his lips while his free hand ran gently over his chest and stomach. He was taking in every little reaction that Jeongin had and along with a rush of arousal that made his cock jump against his lower stomach a sudden shyness overtook him and he groaned, covering his face.

“Y-You can see me like this,” Jeongin mumbled.

Seungmin kissed the backs of his hands. “I could see you before.”

“Not my face.”

“This is much better,” he murmured. “I like your face.”

Jeongin peeked through his fingers, trying to fix Seungmin with a glare but sure that he didn’t quite pull it off. A grin tugged at Seungmin’s lips in response to whatever expression he’d managed as he curled his finger in a way that forced a moan from Jeongin.

“See, it’s not so bad.”

Jeongin carefully moved his hands away, biting down on his lip to try and stifle any more sounds and feeling his face burning. His eyes finally left Seungmin’s as another moan managed its way past his lips and he felt the embarrassment welling up inside of him from something so close and intimate. It was making his dizzying array of emotions all the more confusing, not helped by his brain growing sluggish from arousal and pleasure.

Jeongin did have enough wherewithal to grab at Seungmin’s shoulders, fixing a pout onto his lips as he pulled him closer. He felt barely able to form one coherent thing to say to Seungmin with the array of feelings whirling through him but he knew he wanted to feel close to him.

Seungmin obliged with ease, managing to kiss him even if Jeongin’s kisses were messy. He never seemed to mind what kind of kisses Jeongin gave him, content with whatever his lips were met with.

Jeongin desperately tried to rid his mind of that one clear thought by kissing Seungmin harder.

It seemed to work for a while at least. Seungmin’s tongue slipped past his lips and Jeongin let it in with ease and moans. He noticed Seungmin’s finger slowing but couldn’t manage to think about what that meant until he felt the slow push of two fingers into him.

His head fell back in a wanton moan as Seungmin moved his fingers shallowly. He pressed kisses to Jeongin’s cheeks as he kept his movements gentle and slow through Jeongin’s heavy breaths and arms locked around him. Pleasure coursed through him from every little movement of Seungmin’s fingers and he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the tightening starting in the pit of his stomach.

“Is that alright, Innie?” Seungmin’s voice was far too pretty and the sound was purely dizzying. It was all Jeongin could manage to nod, biting uselessly on his bottom lip in a way that kept no sounds from escaping him. 

He felt like every feeling he’d ever had was welling up inside him all at once as his pleasure rose slowly towards its peak. He couldn’t make much sense of any of the disjointed thoughts in his lust-addled brain, just that with each passing moment he felt more in every sense of the word. 

And still a moan of the word “more” was falling off his lips, like they had a mind of their own, not that he disagreed. Quite the opposite in fact as Seungmin’s fingers reached deeper inside him, brushing past a spot that had his hips trying to buck up and cock jump against his stomach.

“You want more, cutie?” There was almost no teasing in Seungmin’s voice but the way he leaned in to murmur in Jeongin’s ear was only making more arousal run down his spine. He nodded desperately as his fingers dug into Seungmin’s shoulders. His whimper just barely resembled a “please” as he felt like everything in him was about to overflow. But he wouldn’t stop, nothing in the world could make him want to stop.

Seungmin shifted a little, and then Jeongin felt a hand wrapping around his cock. He let out a broken moan as his back arched off the bed, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes from the amount of everything he was feeling, whole body starting to tense and hips trying to rock for more sensation in every way.

“Gonna cum for me, cutie?” Seungmin murmured and it was all Jeongin could do to nod and whimper out an affirmation at the way his high was fast approaching. His thighs tensed, stomach tight and nails digging into Seungmin’s skin as Seungmin pressed a kiss below his ear, fingers moving just a little more roughly, putting a little more pressure on the spot inside him that had him seeing stars behind his eyelids.

“Such a good boy. Can you cum for me, Innie? Please?”

Seungmin’s sweet request would have been enough to have Jeongin cumming in his pants completely untouched. It was more than enough to send him over the edge, a cry of Seungmin’s name falling from his lips as he released, feeling his cock pulsing in Seungmin’s hand as hot strings of cum landed on his lower stomach. An absolute tidal wave of pleasure crashed over him, making every inch of his body shake and were his eyes open, Seungmin would have seen them roll back as his body experienced the pure bliss he’d been given.

A soft curse left Seungmin’s lips and at the moment Jeongin didn’t manage to realize that it was because of the sight of him. He was too encompassed with the slow movements of Seungmin’s fingers, working him through the last of his high, and then the rough kiss on his lips. He didn’t register the wetness on his own cheeks from the tears that had flowed over. And he didn’t know he was saying words between the kisses. The same three words over and over like a mantra.

“I love you.” 

Another kiss pressed to his lips before he’d even finished the last word, too breathy and quiet to properly hear.

“I love you.” 

It was as if everything that had been hidden in his heart was tired of being in the dark. It felt like everything inside of him had released all at once.

Tears.

Cum.

And…

“I love you.”

Seungmin’s fingers stilled before pulling out of him. The words falling off of Jeongin’s lips one more time as the bed shifted and Seungmin didn’t come back down for another kiss. Only then did he blink his eyes open, still blurry from tears, confusion fogging his brain as he cleared his vision and fixed his gaze on Seungmin, eyes wide as he stared back at Jeongin.

Jeongin shakily pushed up onto his elbows, brain still too slow to understand why Seungmin was looking at him like that.

“What-” Seungmin just blinked at him. “What did you say?”

“I- I…”

As if liquid nitrogen had been shot through his veins he felt as if everything went cold. His mouth hung open with no explanation as his heart squeezed painfully in his chest while his own words caught up to him.

Stupid! How could you be so stupid!?

The tears welled up quickly in Jeongin’s eyes, mouth clamping shut and bottom lip quivered. No smile, no laugh, not even an awkward joke. Almost no reaction at all to his words other than shock from the man sitting over him. Jeongin shifted away from Seungmin quickly, dropping his gaze. He couldn’t burst into tears. Not now. Not after that.

Such an idiot! How hard is it to keep your mouth shut?! How did you manage to fuck it up this badly?!

“Jeongin…” Seungmin’s tone was… apologetic? Confused? Upset? Jeongin couldn’t tell but he didn’t want to dwell on it. As fast as he could manage he rolled off the bed and grabbed his sweats. He didn’t care about the cum dripping down his stomach and onto his thighs, he could clean it up later. He just needed to get the fuck out of this room. “Jeongin, hold on-”

“Sorry.” He said it quickly, keeping his eyes trained on the floor and far too scared to look at Seungmin, lest his expression be even worse than what he’d already seen. Maybe anger. Maybe disgust. Maybe pity.

“Innie, just-”

“I’m really sorry.” He could hear his own voice breaking as he crossed the room to the door. “Just- Just- sorry.”

He ignored the way Seungmin called after him, his fear carrying him down the hallway and to his room as fast as he could run, far too scared of Seungmin’s reaction to stay any longer, in far too much pain to bear another second. His tears spilled over finally as he slammed his door shut, sliding down it and crumpling into a heap on the floor, humiliated, heart broken sobs wracking his body.

[mythical-bookworm]

school be kicking my ass and it's only Monday

Marty Shinji Chair

I give you the hug equivalent to this:

(credit to @daryfromthefuture for the art)

Know I'm suffering with you :'D

[stunt-lads]

Keep thinking of an old fandom I was in and all the people who said they're my friends but clearly aren't. They suck and I know they suck and that they were never my real friends but God why do I keep thinking of them.

Because you're grieving a loss. Whether they saw you as a friend or not, you saw them as friends and losing them has hurt you deeply.

It's okay for it to hurt still, it's okay if you're still angry at them, it's not fair but it's going to be okay and one day in the future you make look back and hurt still but you'll be doing better and that's okay too.