#It's very important to me that everyone knows that my mental image of her includes a hardhat-like design to the top of her head

[pancake-blogging]

Transformers: Rescue Bots in Disguise – Dirtboss and the Constructicons

Here we have the first post dedicated to one specific character for this au: Dirtboss, the tiny forklift that works as the foreman for her giant Constructicon coworkers! (It's my au, and I decided it'd be neat to shake up some of the Constructicons presentation-wise)

Dirtboss is first introduced either in the middle of season 2 or early on in season 3. She arrives on Earth well before the rest of the Constructicons in response to Chase and the crew putting in a request for an on-site construction team. As the foreman AND union rep, it's her duty to make sure it's an acceptable work site and to make sure their employer is compliant with their union codes (which is something she is VERY BIG on)

Dirtboss: Alrighty, Officer Bossbot, time to sign the union paperwork for me and my crew – and don't go thinkin' we're using that pre-war High Council scrap some of those Senators are pushin' for a return of back on Cybertron!

Chase: Of course not, the benefits and protections for your crew would be horrendous. I was already under the impression we would be using the Constructicon Charter of the standard Unified Rescue Bot Association (URBA).

Dirtboss: You. I LIKE you. What's your name again?

Chase: Officer Chase, at your service.

As stated above, Dirtboss is VERY big on union rules and regulations – she'll refuse to budge on ANYTHING, no matter how big or small it may be. For instance, there would be a moment shortly after she first arrives on Earth where the group is either running from or chasing after an escaped prisoner in alt-mode; except for her, who will be running alongside them in bot mode–

Someone (likely Sideswipe if he and Sunstreaker have been introduced): Hey Bossybolts, I know forklifts aren't necessarily FAST, but it's gotta be better than running, right?

Dirtboss: "No Constructicon is permitted to operate in their alternate mode(s) whilst on an alien planet unless they have completed and are up-to-date on all prerequisite training for their alternate mode or for the closest equivalent to their alternate mode as deemed appropriate by the on-site foreman. If the Constructicon's alternate mode(s) do not exist on said alien planet and there are no appropriate equivalents approved by the foreman, then the Constructicon must scan a new alternate mode(s) from the alien planet that fulfills the function of their role on their crew and complete all prerequisite training for the new mode(s)." Constructicon Union Code, Article 19, Subsection 8, Paragraph 5.

Raf: So... You have to get forklift certified?

Dirtboss: EARTH forklift certified. I'm already certified for the forklifts on Cybertron, Nebulos, and Hedonia, as well as several dozen other worlds my crew's come into contact with.

– and that's just one example of many examples of Dirtboss strictly enforcing the union codes for herself AND her crew.

Now, why did I make the very first post about one specific character on Dirtboss? Because she's none other than the successor to Nexus Prime, the First Combiner! And why not make the successor to the first in-universe Combiner the first Combiner to be shown in real life?

When Dirtboss is revealed as the successor to Nexus, the main issue of the season will be that there's a bunch of random combinations happening between Cybertronians on Earth. What's unique about her is that she can transform into a giant head to combine with any number of Constructicons (it's always at least two other Constructicons, but the upper limit is All Of Them), and regardless of who she combines with or how many there are, they always form Devastator – the most complete Combiner in the series. No issues with communication, no issues with clashing personalities, and no risk of getting split apart prematurely. I'm thinking this is even reflected by color scheme: the Constructicons always use the same uniformed color scheme which carries over to Devastator, whereas every other Combiner has components with completely separate color schemes.

At some point, Dirtboss will also attain the ability to gift or take away the ability of combination – most likely, it'll happen when she gets ahold of the Enigma of Combination.

And there you have Dirtboss, who – regardless of whether she's a forklift managing her crew of giants or the literal head of the many-in-one demolition bot – will always make sure everything is up to code.

[the1northlanderprincess]

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Whewww. Breathe, Amanda.

Ok, so, in a pre-show post, I talked about Gal's side of things in the relationship in this episode. Since several of you made posts explaining things after the fact better than I could, I'm going to discuss our favorite dark prince.

Yeah, so, our guy is in deep doo-doo. Now, I haven't watched the episode, but I gathered enough to get a sense of where this will take Haladriel for the remaining episodes.

What I really want to focus on is his mental and emotional state. So, Sauron creates an illusion to manipulate Celebrimbor into thinking that everything is hunky-dory in Eregion, and maybe to get him to relax a little. Everyone around him is affected by the darn thing. That includes Mirdania. In Sauron's concoction, she's wearing the same shade of green and hairstyle that Galadriel wore in 1x08. It gets even weirder: he is all soft and touchy-feely with her. The physical appearance, in my eyes, is very significant. It's the last time that Sauron had seen Gal in person, and had a positive interaction with her, before it all went to crap. I believe he captured that memory of her image to savor it. It was undoubtedly the last authentic happiness he ever felt.

After he is left to his own devices, Sauron hears a random elf tell his blonde girlfriend that her beauty is too indescribable for poetry. He seems to stop and dwell on this moment. This is important, too, because it is understood that Sauron is still in his own headspace. Why would he come up with something like that if he wasn't thinking of the beautiful blonde elf he himself knows? Now, we know that Sauron is enthralled with Galadriel's hair. However, this dialogue suggests to me that he finds all of her attractive. I think that should be a plus in the Haladriel Column of Pros and Cons.

Where does this lead? Well, it's more notable than ever that he is spiraling without Galadriel. His expression while listening to that couple is kind of depressed. I think he wants something like that SO BAD with her, but you know a little voice is telling him he can't. It's not possible for a being like him to have a cutesy moment like that with the she-elf he loves, and he knows it. I honestly feel sorry for him. Anyway, this all spells Bad News Bears for Mirdania. She sees all of this attention she's getting from him, and doesn't realize it's in place of the one he can't have. She'll try something, maybe kissing him (GAG), but he'll rebuff her in the worst way imaginable.

When Sauron and Gal do meet on that hill, I am almost willing to bet that he's so out of it, he will make an impassioned, broken plea for her to reconsider his offer. The Halbrand theme, which has a certain rush-against-time-to-get-to-the-one-you-love sound to it, will be heard during this moment. And we'll all drop from mega feels.

Overall, I think we can all agree that Sauron is out of his mind with desire for Galadriel, and I believe we will get immensely rewarded in the finale (or we better!)

[gin-juice-tonic]

Hey there! I have a friend who wants to write a character with OCD, but I'm worried that she might not have a fully accurate image of what it is. I don't really know many people with OCD, but if you could could you give some tips to pass on to her? Sorry if this is weird, and you don't have to answer this if you don't want to. I just thought it would be better to get information from someone who is affected by OCD than skim an article about it. Thanks again (p.s. I really love your comics!!)

This is going to go under a cut cause i wrote more than I really intended. It's very long. I put a video clip of a character who I think is a good representation in media at the end if you decide you dont want to read all of that and just skip down there.

The thing is that OCD varies a lot from person to person. My experiences arent gonna look the same as someone else's who also has it. Some people have very visible symptoms, some people have things that are still obviously ocd symptoms but would only be recognized by someone who knew what to look for, some people only have mental symptoms - you wouldnt be able to tell unless you were a mind reader. And just like any other disorder it has a range of severity.

Also not everyone's triggered by the same things. I know you said you'd rather hear from a person than an article, but I think she should look at articles that detail what typical obsessions are (Though she should go in knowing these thoughts are beyond people's control. They're sometimes extremely upsetting, and theyre of course upsetting to the person who has them. They may be very hard to read if you arent well-versed in this stuff.) In fiction I usually see perfection and contamination, but there are wayyyy more than that. Some triggers come and go even. One day I can be completely fine about something and encountering it a different day it might take me 3 months to stop spiraling about it.

An important thing that IS spread across everyone who has it is that giving into compulsions makes things worse. They are a feeling of momentary relief that can fade incredibly quickly, which is what leads people to do them over and over and over again much to the detriment of the person doing it.

There is not a lot of rhyme or reason to it. And it cannot be logic-ed with. You could be the smartest, most level headed, logical person in the world, but you cannot logic your way out of obsessive thoughts. (This usually creates an obsessive thought spiral even, which is bad and can be dangerous...)

Adding onto that, she should think hard about whether the character would know they have OCD or not. The public perception of OCD is not great. Most people dont understand what it looks like, including people who have it. And the people who do have it often feel like they cannot talk about it. (I was encouraged by a psychiatrist to never! talk about the intrusive thoughts I have to ANYONE. She sucked, but it shows the attitude that surrounds the disorder.) And whether they know or not will make a big difference in how they view themself and their mental health. Personally when I did not know I had it I was doing a lot worse mentally. A lot. Frankly it very nearly drove me to suicide. And then I found out what it was, and it helped. It didnt magically make things disappear of course, but it helped.

She also might be tempted to make the characters symptoms manifest in ways that are comedic or silly. I am not bothered by this necessarily, I think a lot of the things I do are silly and would be perceived as funny by an outsider. But if she is going to do this I ask that she makes sure she shows how frustrating and embarrassing it is for the character. If you want an example, there is a character in the show Scrubs with OCD. (Side note, Scrubs is rated TV-14 so turn back now if youre too young but)

His name is Dr Kevin Casey, though you could probably just find his scenes from looking up Scrubs OCD. He is played off as a jovial man whose disorder makes him quirky, but he is given a scene in which you can really see the toll it takes on him. One line he says "Nobody's supposed to see this" hits especially hard.

So if that was too long and you didnt read most of it the number one important thing I'd personally ask is however inconvenient this characters OCD is going to be to everyone else Id like her to make sure she shows that its a million times more inconvenient to the person who has it.

[candyskiez]

I've said it before and I've said it again: the way people treat people who were raped was just as traumatizing to me as being raped itself, if not more. Teaching people that this horrible event defines them and is a Sensitive Subject that can never be brought up and can never be shown in anything and is "too much" does an impact, shockingly. Seeing everyone attack sa survivors and accuse them of lying and having everyone think you're just trying to ruin someone's life does a number on you. Having no autonomy whatsoever over what legal forces do about it does a number on you. I'd argue that everyone suddenly finding out about me being raped because I finally worked up the courage to tell someone and she snitched and it completely blowing up my personal life was just as traumatizing to me as being assaulted, lol. It gave me way more trust issues and I can't talk about my trauma with my friends anymore 👍. No one ever asked what someone Did to me when I tell them I was emotionally abused, though I don't doubt that it happens, but my mom asked "with WHAT" when I told her my grandma raped me. Which, by the way, is a really fucked up way to respond to someone confessing they got raped and if you do it they're allowed to kill you. I don't care if you're confused. If they say they were raped, they were raped.

When you say you were raped, everyone becomes so so suspicious of every word you say. Everyone practically grades you on whether or not your circumstance was Enough to be considered rape or if you're being honest. Because people are so deadset on rape being completely divorced from any other kind of crime, like it's not just another form of violence. So if you say "this person raped me" they hear "so you think this person is Satan and Pure Evil. But they're nice to ME, so clearly you're lying!"

Just because someone's nice to you doesn't mean they aren't fully capable of doing something absolutely horrible to someone else. You making rape into some mythical thing that only happens in one set extreme circumstance and can never happen to anyone else isn't helping and is in fact actually hurting people. My rapist is apparently very nice to most people. I don't think she was attracted to me in the slightest. She saw me getting into a situation where she believed I was putting myself at risk of assault or being preyed upon, so she "showed me" what would happen if I didn't stop. It had nothing to do with attraction. I explain why she did it because you need to understand that by deciding only a very specific type of person with a specific motive could do something, you predispose yourself to not believing victims of people outside of that specific image. Kill the image of what a rapist looks like in your head. Kill the image of what a "good victim" looks like in your head. I was incredibly unstable and unpleasant after being assaulted because I'd just gotten fucking assaulted and was in denial of it. I'm still trying to become a better person. Often the sweet nice person is the rapist and the "weird crazy person" is being abused.

It's also important to know motives for rape because. Surprise surprise, you are not immune to being a rapist. You are not immune to traumatizing someone via sex. You are not immune to abusing someone sexually. Rapists don't wake up and go "time to traumatize a child!" and pretending they do actively harms victims. People didn't believe me because they couldn't conceive of someone as kind as my grandma raping me, even though she abused me on a daily basis. You need to be aware of people's boundaries and mental states during sex. Including if you're submissive, btw.

This is getting into a tangent, sorry. Is this a vent? This might be a vent. I dunno. You can reblog this if you want, but keep in mind this was written when I was kind of emotional so it might not be the most polished or account for Every Single Way it can be misinterpreted. Think before you argue, please. I probably do not mean the worst thing you can think of.

[iloveschiaparelli]

My issues with this post:

[Image ID: Tumblr post by @/Correllian with a picture of a blue gradient with white text that says "It's not neurotypical or neurodivergent. It's vanilla or neurospicy." The caption says "Why be plain, when you can be spicy? 'normal' is overrated and boring." The post has 0 notes. /.End ID]

Note: I wrote this post intending for it to be a reblog, but upon viewing the rest of the contents of the profile I decided I did not want to engage with the blog's owner since the "facebook republican" vibe was extremely strong, and I do not want to argue with this person. My goal with the post is to educate, and I do not see that being productive with this person. If that seems like a stupid reason to screenshot instead of reblogging, or rude, let me know and I will repost as a reblog. But for the time being iIwould like to avoid engaging with the blog's owner and simply talk about this specific post.

***

I keep seeing this come up in my feed and ive been mostly ignoring it bc it makes me slightly uncomfortable but then i saw it had 0 notes which either means im the only one seeing it or the people seeing it also feel the same way i do (maybe??)

Anyway it's not even a big deal TBH but here's why I don't really like this, I'm not trying to be insulting or anything I just want to be informative and LITERALLY this is not important enough of a problem to warrant the quantity of words I'll be using, but that's just how I am. Sorry.

First of all, the neurodivergent/typical label first came from a journalist who wanted to acknowledge that not every condition is a disorder and that there are natural variations in how peoples' brains work. So, to refer to ADHD and autism as "neurodivergent" rather than "broken" or "disordered", with the goal of putting into perspective that you, as a person, are not broken or that there is "something wrong with you" just because you are autistic or ADHD.

It's popular now, but neurodiversity labels haven't been in widespread use for very long despite being coined in 1998 by Harvey Blume. A lot of the push for neurodiversity labels came from the autistic community and so it's kind of a victory of sorts to be able to use them instead of referring to people as "normal" vs "autistic/ADHD", since categorizing people into "normal" and "other" boxes naturally creates a sense of otherness, both in the minds of people on the neurodivergent side and the neurotypical side.

In addition to confronting this issue, the neurodivergent labels are also just, more accurate? There isn't really even a definition of what "normal" means, and it implies the absence of problems altogether which we know is not true because nearly everyone in the world experiences some kind of mental or physical problem, of varying severities. It could be depression, it could be an allergy, it could be a disability beyond depression.

The word Neurotypical on the other hand is targeted specifically to the brain (Neuro) and rather than using a vague term like normal, uses the term Typical. We as a society generally use the word Typical interchangeably with normal, but specifically usually as a way to describe someone who fits the characteristic of whatever group they are in, or someone's actions that fit the characteristics of their other actions. Essentially, to describe someone or something that is consistent with a "type".

"Sweating and increased heart rate are typical experiences for those engaging in intense physical exercise."

"Sarah is always late to things! She isn't here at the party yet, and it started two hours ago. How typical of her."

Therefore, Neurotypical specifically refers to either people or behaviors that are consistent with the most common set of neurological conditions and behaviors, or with the most common neurotype.

Neurodivergent simply means anyone who deviates from this neurotype, which is why it's a blanket term for autism and ADHD. It could also be expanded to include other neurotypes as well, although I'm not familiar with them all, if there are any.

The first problem I have with this comment about ditching Neurotypical/Neurodivergent for Vanilla/Neurospicy is that people in the autism community are quite divided on whether neurospicy is a further-stigmatizing or infantalizing alteration to neurodivergent. One discussion of why can be found in this tik tok here. (It's like 10 seconds long). Although there is a pretty large group of neurodivergents who are OK with and even enjoy the use of Neurospicy, it seems that there is an equally large group of neurodivergents that are not and do not.

I am included in that second group, but my roommate is in the former. As long as she does not use neurospicy as a term to describe me, I do not mind if she jokes about it for herself! However, this post states in a very matter-of-fact tone typical of facebook posts that not only should vanilla/neurospicy be used, but that neurotypical/neurodivergent should not be used. The text in this image goes out of its way to invalidate existing, widely used labels in favor of ones that many see as stigmatizing or infantalizing. Both of which are huge problems for the ADHD/Autism community, especially the latter group due to developmental delay associated with autism. The societal attitude surrounding this word is similar to the reaction to "Is he acoustic" which for some autistics is a funny joke, but objectively still causes harm because of the way it is weaponized by neurotypicals to make fun of autistic traits and autistics in general by posting the audio or cracking the joke whenever someone does something "weird" or unexplainable. I've even seen acoustic used to describe an object that has stopped working properly (broken = autistic). Neurospicy is, although much less frequently, used in a similar way by neurotypicals to make jokes about autistics in ways that are not always respectful and can be harmful.

The text in the post itself goes even further to say "'normal' is overrated and boring." The word Normal is not used prior to this in the post, but by context it seems to refer to the neurotypicall/neurodivergent labels as "normal" labels and is saying that they are overrated and boring, and that using Neurospicy instead is different and therefore good.

The second problem I have with this post is the use of the word Vanilla. This one is much more of a subjective problem, since different people will gather different things from seeing this word based on what kind of content they regularly interact with. Personally, when I see the word vanilla it usually makes me think of ice cream or Minecraft mods, but in this post it's used right alongside the word "spicy" and normally the only place we see those two words used together in the same context is in the kink/bdsm community. As someone who used to be aspec and still resonates with those experiences, the idea of associating my neurological identity in any way with sexual activity or kink is extremely disturbing. This one is much, much less likely to be intentional, but I wanted to include it simply for complete honesty.

All this together, just causes this post to make me mildly uncomfortable, which is why I've declined to interact with it so far and have scrolled past it mostly. While I don't disparage the use of the words "vanilla/neurospicy" for people to describe themselves if they are comfortable with it, I find the notion of demanding, intentionally or not, that everyone use them and that our chosen labels be taken away from us to be very frustrating and uncomfortable.

I am aware that these effects are likely completely unintended, and once again I am really not trying to make a big deal out of it. My goal is simply to explain why this post has made me somewhat uncomfortable and may do the same to other people.

[itsclydebitches]

#greenlightvolume10 but seriously how!? Its RTX and it was not greenlit.

No idea, anon. Like legitimately, I don't know nearly enough about this business to say if general support would make a difference at this point, or if Eddie is calling for something else, or... what.

Honestly though, Vol. 10 still not being greenlit is currently overshadowed by the everything of that epilogue. I am immensely grateful that it wasn't a formal part of the Volume (even though releasing it now raises it to the status of canon in many fans' eyes and its mere existence implies that, if we do get Volume 10, the information in that clip will greatly inform what comes next) because boy oh boy, did I dislike it. That right there is six condensed minutes of RWBY's tendency to rewrite important plot-points and characterization on the fly. Why is Winter guiltily claiming she stayed by Ironwood's side too long when the entire point of Volume 7 was that they all agreed with him, at least when it came to long-term goals? Why has the story forgotten the crucial World Building detail that one of the things everyone agreed on was that telling Remnant about Salem would lead to mass-scale grimm attacks? Now, as we already guessed due to the implications of Volume 9's final image, Ruby's message has only brought super convenient cooperation—to the point of her getting impromptu memorials. Hell, even Raven, the one character defined by her cowardly neutrality, appears to ferry the girls into the city without any arc to explain her presence except, apparently, "The teenager telling me things I already knew but being ~hopeful~ about it has totally changed my tune, to the point of being OOC." Why does Winter get the long-winded speech expressing her sorrow when Qrow, someone who just lost two girls akin to his daughters, walks around laughing and feeling "optimistic"? I get that obviously the clip is very unfinished, but why does Nora have a waaaaay stronger reaction to Team RWBY's return than he does? Why is he thumbing Clover's badge in gratitude when Volume 8 worked so hard to paint him as the villain who (agree to disagree) got himself killed? Meanwhile, I can't say I'm surprised that his depression, rather than getting worse after such a monumental tragedy, has apparently disappeared just like his alcoholism.

Even Vacuo feels like a mess. We left the citizens stranded in the desert getting picked off by grimm, their only potential salvation a city that despises them, specifically, and prizes itself on the kind of survival mentality the Atlas elite are not in a position to emulate (huntsmen aside). We then return to suddenly find new happiness blooming, the Schnees doling out bread with only the occasional snarky remark to contend with. This is partly why I really didn't want that time skip. It's far too easily—as RWBY has done in this clip—to skate over all the conflict it introduced with a, "They got out of that mess somehow" implication.

Also, question: were Maria and Pietro there? I don't recall seeing them, but I've only watched it once. If you're going to produce a things-are-bad-but-not-actually-compared-to-what-the-story-set-up ending that includes character appearances all the way down to the largely inconsequential butler... at least tell us if those two are actually dead or not?

[acorrespondence]

@freekicks Oh man I have lots; so many that I’m making this a new post so I don’t clog up that poor person’s replies with 50 messages, haha! Basically, it’s an expansion on the idea that everyone has headcanons/canon details that are absolutely integral to their enjoyment of the story and any transformative works based on it (hard), and headcanons/canon details that they’re fond of but could still get pretty much unaltered enjoyment out of a fic that contradicts them (soft). Obviously all these are just opinions and what I get out of the story isn’t and shouldn’t have to be the same as what anyone else gets out of it.

One thing that sort of falls in the middle of the headcanon/canon divide is Raylan’s age when his mother died. The show contradicts itself on this point several times, and so it’s sort of fungible. I personally find the idea that Raylan’s mother died when he was very young, like younger than Loretta, while it may serve the parallels between them, to be much less compelling than the idea that she died later. It’s just so much more… boring for a character whose mother died when he was ten or so to have a gross misrepresentation of who she was as a person in his mental image of her. It’s much more compelling to me if he held onto that despite direct evidence to the contrary that he was old enough to understand. Of course he’d forget the hatchet story if it happened when he was eight. If it happened when he was eighteen, that opens up a much realer possibility that he just straight up repressed it, which is fascinating. Also, I don’t think it makes sense if he grew up with Helen in the house for the second half of his life there. To me that doesn’t really jive with their current relationship. (And on a less story-driven note, I am fascinated by the idea that, if Raylan’s mother died when he was thirty, he might not have attended her funeral. Because part of him knew it would challenge the version of her he had to remember in order to maintain his black and white perception of the world.)

Obviously, the mine and what it represents is a necessary component (though the time and place less so—my Old Guard au places them in the miners’ strikes of the 30s, and I’ve read a wonderful fic where the mine in question was on a different planet entirely. However, it does have to be placed in Harlan, or whatever approximation of Harlan fits the broader setting). The boys and their relationships with their daddies is another nonnegotiable for me. Specifically, the way they grew up; different times and causes of death for Bo and Arlo can work just as well. If Raylan and Boyd don’t meet until they’re established adults, that immediately kills my interest. Their rich history is so integral to why I’m drawn to the ship in the first place. It’s a hard sell for me to have Boyd leave or Raylan stay directly after the mine, but I’ve been known to make an exception if the story is compelling enough and doesn’t sacrifice characterization.

I think Boyd’s criminal history is important, though the nature of it less so. And even more important is the fact that Boyd never really makes it big as a criminal—making him some kind of fief lord of crime makes him much less interesting to me. His plans only succeed inasmuch as he always manages to survive their unraveling. I think it’s important that he’s spent time incarcerated. I’m not a huge fan of stories where they meet again outside of Harlan and never go back, it takes away the central tension between them and the place that made them that Raylan so struggles with and Boyd embraces so wholly, which for me is a really interesting part of their relationship, this dichotomy. I also don’t care for stories that give them a ton of good friends outside each other, or casual friends who actually know them and hang out with them—they’re too big of assholes for that. Of course, this doesn’t include the characters they’re close with in canon; I love Raylan and Rachel’s friendship, in particular, and their understanding of each other despite their vast superficial differences is fascinating. I guess I should say instead that I don’t buy either of them having typical friendships, period. They’re just too weird and fucked up for that. They trauma bonded at nineteen and it continues to be one of the most important relationships in either of their lives. Winona puts up with Raylan’s relational weirdness for love; no one is doing that for their drinking buddy. So they may have close friendships, but they don’t look the way you’d expect.

I’d never make their relationship uncomplicatedly sweet and unfraught, or sand down the kind of feral edges of it, and I don’t think they’d be much for traditional PDA—I just love the way in canon the physical (and otherwise) manifestations of their intimacy are so outside of what’s expected from buddies OR lovers. In the same vein, I don’t love it when Raylan goes crazy with the terms of endearment, because he doesn’t use them much with his love interests in canon. I have him use them with the girls in heavy heart more as verbal tics he picked up after spending too much time around Boyd, who LOVES to use them, plus I think he models at least some of his displays of parental affection after Helen, who canonically calls him “honey”. I’m fine with Boyd throwing endearments around liberally; I just don’t do it in my own fics because I love the way in canon he twists Raylan’s name itself into almost an endearment. He just can’t stop saying it every other sentence, so why would he give up the chance to say it by replacing it with another word? Plus, it fits in with how weird they are about each other in general.

More broadly, I have never really enjoyed full aus (based on any story) that don’t try to approximate at least the broader beats of place and history from canon, but I really really love stories that manage it. I respect authors who can sort of map canon onto a completely different stage, like the space au mentioned above, so much. I hope that I manage that at least somewhat with catching bullets.

That’s all the big ones I can think of at the moment, though I’m sure there’s more I’ve forgotten (most of the rest fall more under ic-ness vs ooc-ness, which is harder to articulate; “what makes them themselves?” is a much more difficult question). Ultimately, I think probably a lot of these come across through cross-referencing both of my WIPs—basically, if it shows up in both, there’s a very good chance it’s a nonnegotiable for me, and if it changes between the two, then I can obviously live without it.

[hrokkall]

Leshy for the ask game?

HELL YEAH I got requests for all four Scrybes let’s go.

Favorite thing about them: I absolutely love his character as a whole. He’s a villain (and remains that way for most—if not all—of the game) but he’s still so likable just because everyone can see his genuine passion for the game he’s created. Everything he did, everything he created, every puzzle box and squeaking floorboard and hidden secret was all for the player. Inscryption the game loves the player so much—it loves them enough to trawl through the blight it’s built upon just to have even the slightest chance of looking them in the eyes and Leshy is such a good representation of that theme.

Least favorite thing about them: Again not going to say anything related to torturing the other Scrybes (even if he thought that they would eventually come around and see that it was an honor). Instead I’ll say I wish he had a full 3D model. I know it’s because he’s too damn tall but all of the other Scrybes have one (including Grimora, who is nearly the same height and has to clip through the floor to fit in that scene) but I would love to actually know what his legs look like instead of speculating based on the unclear 2D sprite. Granted I’d probably draw him with hooves anyway because it’s fun but still I’d love if he had a full body that I could import into blender to just rotate around for fun.

Favorite line: I’m not going to pick any bits from the finale because every single one of those lines hit hard, instead I’ll pick this segment

brOTP: I already talked about Leshy and Kaycee on the Kaycee post and I’m going to try and not repeat myself too much here. So instead I’ll say I like the relationship Leshy has with his subordinates just because it’s so different from the other Scrybes’ interactions with their own underlings. Magnificus and P03’s underlings both revere their Scrybe above all else, Grimora’s all live under the same roof and are therefore likely pretty close with her, but Leshy? All of his woodsmen seem like they were just… people who lived in his forest who he decided to converse with. They’re loyal to him, sure—everyone but the Woodcarver (who isn’t one of his underlings) is 100% okay with him using their visage and controlling them for the boss fights—but in a very different way. Loyal in a way of “I live in the forest with you and the forest decided to extend a hand to me in return” rather than loyal in a “put me in the torture chamber, boss!” way. I don’t know it’s just like they’re casual friends with any reverence (or lack thereof, in the Woodcarver’s case) formed organically rather than vehemently feeling like they owe anything, intentionally or not.

OTP: Trying not to repeat myself too much so I WON’T put all four Scrybes as the world’s worst polycule here. I’m pretty sure everyone here already knows that’s my #1 favorite Inscryption ship (and probably the only one tbh because I’m not really into shipping). Instead I’ll talk about Leshy and the other three Scrybes individually (keeping it short because otherwise, like usual, we’d be here a while)

Leshy x Grimora: Classic life and death motif combo. You can’t really go wrong here. Plus, if you go by sheer quantity (and quality imo) in act 1, Insect cards are by far the most abundant, implying they may be Leshy’s favorites (plus the insect that crawls across the table that Leshy occasionally stops to observe). So making Grimora into an insect card seems to show a certain level of fondness—or respect, at very least. We already know from canon that a combined blood/bones system works very well, as do beast and death cards in act 2. Plus the mental image of Grimora bringing back animals that Leshy had gotten particularly attached to by lovingly carving their epitaphs and watching as the now-skeletal rat excitedly greets his friend again is cute.

Leshy x Magnificus: This one is a little bit funny to me just because they have no hybrid cards together and Leshy goes out of his way to gouge Magnificus’s eye out. So needless to say the divorce was messy. But in a pre-old_data sense, their dynamic would probably center around their mutual love of creation. Though their own preferences clash, they’re both huge fans of having a single unified aesthetic. They don’t want each other’s card systems near the other, but the storycrafting would be fantastic. Similarly, I don’t think a magic/blood campaign would work very well without a ton of shoehorning (it would have to be something similar to the red hart wherein the # of sacrifices made that turn power up a ruby mox card) but the visuals would be nice.

Leshy x P03: This one is equally funny to me because they’re opposites in every way possible and yet they really have a lot more in common than either of them would appreciate in canon proper. I’m personally a fan of the “overgrown technology” type aesthetic (see: co-op) so from that level I can appreciate it, but also the level of hilarity that these two would bring is incredible. Learning about the semi-canonical divorce between the robot and the forest deity was a punch in the face, but the semi-canonical marriage that it implies? The two of them going in dates in either the middle of the woods (wherein P03 complains the whole time until it spots a bird mimicking the whirring of its fans) or at the factory (wherein Leshy spends the whole time asking if they can go down to the shore because he’d love to capture that thing he swore he saw poke its head out above the waves). It would be a disaster and yet the fact that they made it work speaks volumes. I’ve already talked about a blood-energy system with co-op so I’ll skip over that part but yeah I like these two.

So anyway the four of them together are a lethal combo needless to say. It doesn’t work and yet it does and then the moment it starts to work they realize they can play god and then start fistfighting each other about it. So that’s fun.

nOTP: Again, not a fan of Leshy and Kaycee in a romantic context.

Random headcanon: I didn’t get to show it in my last drawing of him (partially because it got covered up with fur) but he has tarsal spurs on the back of his leg like an insect would. What these are used for? Good question… Seeing as in insects they’re usually on the forelegs for digging or cleaning, they’re probably just vestigial on Leshy.

Unpopular opinion: Act 1 isn’t my favorite. It’s good, for sure, but I hate when people reduce Inscryption to just act 1 and then ignore the rest of the game. Maybe that’s just because I’ve been drawing art for this game and picking apart the lore for around a year now but the other acts deserve more of a spotlight too.

Song I associate with them: Can I put Lord Huron’s entire Strange Trails album here? I won’t, I’ll narrow it down to Meet Me in the Woods (though you should listen to the whole album if you want a whole album of Leshy songs. Just saying). Other than that, Dear Dictator by Saint Motel and Solar Waltz by Cosmo Sheldrake are both pretty good options.

As a bonus, I’ll put Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce—the song he references in the Finale as he plays his last game.

Favorite picture of them: It only appears for a couple of seconds but I really like his “Deathcard”

[luxflora]

@sundung Happy to provide links! I got pretty wordy here. OP sorry for hijacking your post.

disclaimer: I have NO professional training or credentials. I volunteer with my local hospice and I do attend occasional educational seminars there & get useful materials. Most standard grief resources are pretty exclusively going to talk about grieving the loss of someone close to you, but grief can come from many different sources. When I was in high school, I found it useful to understand part of my depression as grief surrounding my trauma and abuse. Grief from things we perceive as small can also impact us in major ways.

I'm including screenshots or relevant images above their links when I want to add clarification. Grief can be a very complicated topic, and understanding it better has been a huge help in my life. Some of these pages do some pathologizing, but I still find them helpful in figuring out when grief/emotions are "healthy" or "normal" (painful, but necessary to adjust to upsetting life changes/loss) or "unhealthy" or "complicated" (turning into depression/trauma/etc; consistently debilitating for over a year).

Resources from places that deal with grief frequently will generally tell you that you don't "get over" grief or "move on". But if you're dealing with sustained, intense grief pain for an extended period of time, it's a problem. You need to be able to feel alive and feel positive emotions. If your grief is preventing that after an extended period of time, it's turned unhealthy, just like a scab can turn unhealthy.

Helpguide: Introduction

Helpguide is my go-to resource for so many different things. This is a general grief primer which includes a lot of helpful terminology.

The Purpose of Anticipatory Grief

I find it useful to look at the *purpose* of my emotions, so I know if my grief is helping me appreciate the time I have and prepare for loss, or if it's causing me to miss out on things I'll regret missing the chance for.

(^From samaritannj.org)

Ball in a Box

This is a pretty common visualization for grief. Can apply to most kinds of mental recovery in some form. Useful for understanding Complicated Grief, which is the next section.

(I got this image from: r/coolguides. The "ball in the box" metaphor is pretty common, you can find a lot of different versions of it.)

Complicated Grief

This is what tends to get pathologized. What's important to understand is that Complicated/Prolonged Grief is a problem. Everyone grieves differently, and it doesn't magically go away after a year, but generally after a year the "ball" from the last section should start to be manageable - learning to adjust to life after this loss and continue functioning. If you still have debilitating grief after a year (not "occasionally breaking down"; think "missing classes and losing sleep on a daily or near-daily basis because the grief STILL hurts so much") then you do probably need some kind of outside help. Doesn't have to be a medical professional - talking to a friend or journaling, if you haven't yet, are good places to start. This grief is "complicated" in the way surgery can be "complicated". This is where you're getting into "not recovering naturally, requires treatment" territory.

(Again, it's a different timeline for everyone and differs based on a lot of factors - a year is just a good natural guideline, because it's a major cycle. Your first Mother's Day without your mom (assuming you have a mom and observe Mother's Day) is likely to be your hardest, because you're doing it for the first time without her and it's strange and uncomfortable and touching raw wounds. Each one after that is generally a little less painful. Ball in a box.)

(^From Mayo Clinic's page on Complicated Grief)

From A Funeral Home

This is kind of a general list of what healthy grief looks like. Grief sucks, and these people encounter a lot of it.

google search how to stop experiencing anticipatory grief when this world has taken so much from me already

[pebblezstoney]

eng101/discussion board week3

Discuss a time when a post or video on a social media site positively impacted you or someone you know? Who wrote the post (e.g., an individual or an organization)? 

When have a post or video positively impact start with, I use social media a lot to help inspire me was a video I saw on Facebook. It was a story about a pregnant girl that got kicked out and looked bad at by everyone. Everyone assumed she was someone who sold her body for money. Which is not true, but she was a victim of rape by a very powerful man. Luckly, she ran to a very important attorney and helped her voice get heard. Found a way to file charges and that showed her how she overcame obstacles. She also shows her kid that she is not the victim and becomes an attorney herself to help victims that she has experience. The person who did the post is Dhar Mann. I love his videos so inspiring in so many ways. Check his post constantly because I love his videos so much.

What do you think the author’s purpose was for sharing the post? Did the author reach their goal and target audience? How was the post organized? Did it include any images, charts, infographics, videos, links, or articles? I think the purpose of the post is to inform us that even though people must endure a lot in life we can overcome anything and be very successful in life. I feel this post is organized by targeting people that have gone through a lot with mental health and people that live in the low-income people that are not well off. Why are his videos so inspiring as well. In the post it includes a video also links that help with mental health as well and anyway they can help support you if you are in the same saturation. They also have articles about their feelings of the saturations as well.

What qualities do you think make a social media post effective?  

I think the reason why social media post is effective You need to talk about things that speaks to people as I see the most effective is mental health, alcohol & drug experiences as well why I feel that promote bad behavioral. You need to be careful with social media well there is cyber bullying that is a real thing unfortunately. I feel if you can be effective in your post talk about things that speaks to people. Also speak about things that mean a lot to you. I feel when I talk about experiences my post is more effective because they can relate to the saturations. However, it makes it effective as well.

[phoenixyfriend]

Ezra and Fulcrum’s Wacky Adventure

Ezra's attempt to save Ahsoka on Malachor by fucking around with space-time goes wonky, and the two of them end up in the first year of TCW... with Vader in pursuit.

"You're Ahsoka... from the future?"

"Sure am, Skyguy."

"And that's your padawan."

"A friend's padawan. His master died recently, and I'm keeping an eye on him until we figure something out."

"Right, right... and, uh, mister tall, Dark, and horrifying?"

"Oh, that's future you."

"..."

"Yeah, Palpatine's a Sith Lord and he's been grooming you for a decade. Shit’s fucked. Anyway, get ready to jump, Vader’s gaining on us."

I just have this mental image of hyper-competent "I am no Jedi" Fulcrum leading 20yo Anakin and angstiest ever Ezra on a merry ride called "avoid Vader before he kills us all."

Intermittently she tries to talk Vader down with "Padme's still alive!" and that sort of not-quite-reassurance, and Anakin is getting very concerned about... many things.

Smol Ahsoka is very "future me scares me." Like yeah Fulcrum is a badass but Fulcrum is also incredibly blase about like. Really horrifying things.

Fulcrum's had a long time to come to terms with "Vader is probably Anakin" and a week or two to come to terms with "Vader is DEFINITELY Anakin and also trying to kill me and this child (teenager) I'm currently in charge of." She's coping by making very morbid jokes and being scarily calm about things, and just overall Very Unperturbed about, like, an explosion going off two feet away from her.

She keeps dropping bombs like "Yeah, all the clones have mind-control chips in their heads with orders to kill us or themselves and I remember like a solid half of you trying to kill me in particular, it was a very formative experience for how I dealt with the rise of the Empire" with the most unassuming, bland smiles.

Everyone's horrified except Fulcrum herself and Ezra, who grew up in the Empire and has never known anything else, but ALSO he's consistently freaking out and having negative reactions to shinies and even some of the older clones because even painted phase one armor is setting off 'These are stormtroopers' PTSD.

So there's:

- that general "Vader fucks around and everyone, including Sidious and Tyranus, is trying to figure out the identity of this absolute motherfucker wrecking everyone's shit with no restraint or apparent care in target allegiance"

- "a friend from The Future shows up to tell you about the horrible, horrible fate everyone is going to suffer, now you have to fix it"

- "Future Me tried to kill The Little Sister?????"

Do you think your teenager is traumatized now, Anakin? Think again! In eighteen years, it's going to be so much worse, and it's going to be in large part your fault!

Fulcrum, smiling: Humor makes the trauma bearable.

Anakin: [concerned noises]

@atagotiak: I have this mental image of Anakin and Fulcrum making the very inadvisable decision to spar

Fulcrum thinks she’s able to handle it. She’s not.

She has the skills! But. Uh. Panic attacks are fun, especially when they take the form of "my brain flipped a switch and I could no longer process that this was a spar and not a fight to the death."

Ezra suggests that maybe she'd be better off sparring with General Kenobi instead of Skywalker. Ezra can spar with Mini-Soka and Anakin, he's fine with that. He knows Vader is Anakin but it's just a Fact, like "there are this many stars in the Chommel sector." It's certainly true but he has no emotional connection to this information.

Tia: It’s not great for Fulcrum mentally and also tbh it seems like there might be a risk of her injuring Anakin. Probably not too seriously just because the sabers aren’t gonna be full power but still, seems like something to avoid

Does she flinch around non-Rex 501st clones? Probably!

Fulcrum: Here's a list of clones we're likely to encounter that I'm not going to panic around.

Anakin: ...there’s only three names on this list.

Fulcrum: Yeah.

Tia: Trying to figure out what her opinion of Bail Organa must be. Which is complicated by how I haven’t seen Rebels.

I mean yeah there’s some degree of trust and respect and stuff there. But in the novel at least I didn’t really get any friendship vibe from them. To be fair I’m pretty sure they barely knew each other at the point.

“He’s trustworthy but a much sneakier motherfucker than anyone gives him credit for.”

"We aren't friends but I would lay down my life for him without hesitation"

"He's very soft compared to Jedi or clones but he's almost stupidly brave and apparently tried to help when he saw the Temple go up in flames, it's wild."

"But you're not friends?"

"Nah, future Bail was kind of my boss and I saw him once every two years if that. He has my ultimate respect, though. Ten outta ten, would become a black ops agent for again."

Tia: “Also his office is very fun to break into”

The looks that last one gets her.

Obi-Wan was nodding along because Yeah, he Gets It, Bail is incredibly impressive for a politician, he's a good man with a good heart and nerves of steel! Obi-Wan also finds him worthy of total loyalty! This is all--his office is What.

Fulcrum: Hey, you wanna know something terrible?

Anakin: No.

Fulcrum: Too bad, telling you anyway.

Fulcrum gets a lot of mileage out of being the future version of one of Anakin's current Five Most Important People (Obi-Wan, Padme, Ahsoka, Palpatine, Rex) since the twins haven't been born yet and Shmi's already dead.

Also, Tia pointed out that Caleb is like eleven at this point, and that’s very awkward for Ezra.

[tiffanylamps]

🥺🤡🛒🍦👀🤲🧠(joo won), please? :3

Hey!! I literally stretched when I saw you sent me 7 questions!!! This is sick, thank you! <3

From this post

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I have a real soft spot for skin-on-skin contact (or just characters expressing their affection with their hands). So, holding hands, fingers brushing secretly, caressing skin, tugging on clothes, etc. Just small gestures like that (that could be missed if not paying attention) drive me INSANE! I love them!

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

This moment from courage to make love known

They make a comical pairing. A comment made by Ho Seok from his corner by Dong Sik’s side, smiling with rosy cheeks like the juvenile antics of the youth is just an amusing sitcom. Jae Yi has to agree with that sentiment; standing together just outside the light of the projector’s glare, Ji Hoon is whispering something probably incoherent against Joo Won’s temple. The older and shorter man seems to be considering everything Ji Hoon says with a great degree of seriousness as if they’re discussing a great scandal and how they will uncover it. With Joo Won - stern and serious - dressed in all black and Ji Hoon - cheerful and giggling - in pinks and creams, it is a very funny sight. They are chalk and cheese. Dong Sik sips on his second Moscow Mule and grins like the sight is the sweetest thing he’s ever seen.

“Oppa! Oppa, they have our song! Come sing with me!” Ha Eun calls from the centre of the spider’s web of friends. There are murmurs of excitement and encouragement from the gaggle of young women. Ji Hoon doesn’t look too pleased to have his immensely important and totally top-secret conversation interrupted. The two men continue to converse and slowly Ji Hoon pivots them away from the group. 

“Oppa! Don’t be mean!” Ha Eun exclaims and stomps over to her very tall boyfriend. She hits his arm without much force. 

Joo Won holds a hand out to put space between the pair, still under the weight of Ji Hoon’s arm on his shoulder. “Ha Eun-ssi, stop. That is assault.” Just the mental image of these two drunk silly sweet idiots gossiping about their friends, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM, is sooo funny to me. I will die on my "JW & JH will be friends" horse! It's a worthy cause that everyone should jump on board with. Also, JW sticking his hand out and drunkenly saying, "Ha Eun-ssi, stop. That is assault." is also funny to me

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I've already answered this but I will give you a different answer... sofa sex. I have accidentally included sex on a sofa in 6 (???) fics. Only two(/three-ish) of them have been published and the majority of them haven't been written/completed. But yeah... I don't know why I keep doing that.

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

I would say my sweet (and kinda shitty) little poem woes break the faucet (and a tooth-rooting fic I'm currently working on)

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

It's BE. post-canon. nonlinear timeline. alternating pov. think melodrama. passion. picture arguments. breakups and makeups. A N G S T. picture a ridiculous display of "idiots in love". annnnnnnd jwds doing something naughty 👀

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Here a brief look at the fic I just mentioned-

The faraway melody of pitter-patter rain morphs lazily, changing in tone and tempo; as the hazy sleep-conscious fog in Joo Won's mind dissipates. His body is a burdening mass of unnecessary weight: limbs mid-rigor mortis from a dreamless sleep that has left him disorientated and aching, stitched to the mattress with invisible red thread. But he knows where he is as soon as he stretches his muscles like a cat after a day-long nap: toes splayed and knees clicking. His head rolls back, allowing his cheek to find the all-too-soft fabric of a pillow that is too fluffy and too big to be his own. 

Ah. He knows this pillow. He knows the entire set. 

He twists, uncoordinated with eyes closed like a newborn pup seeking out the life-giving milk of its mother. His chest finds the bed sheet and before he has the clarity of mind to stop himself, he cradles the pillow with arms on the verge of pins and needles, burying his face amongst the polyester stuffing. He allows himself a lungful of peace. Just a lungful. A deep and steady intake of autumn air and whatever diffuser Dong Sik has been using as of late. Not unlike a bagpipe, it inflates him with life and song, and he traps it within his lungs in secret, succumbing to its wonder. He feels oddly full. 

The mattress moves under a shuffling weight and the covers are tugged with it, causing the duvet to rustle down Joo Won's back with the same enthusiasm as crystalised amber leaves skipping across Dong Sik’s front garden. Joo Won suppresses the urge to ring out the tune lingering in his throat, which awaits on the verge of creating an album of wistful music that belongs to be dancing on a cliffside breeze. He could let this feeling of contentment out and grant it permission to be free from his body. It could keep the now sodden September leaves company… as well as the body next to his. The same body that has kept his gloomy autumn mornings iridescent and warm. But he would rather choke than be that see-through. So, he lets his throat ache with the burden of an unsung song. 

👀

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them

(For Joo Won) I can't really pick an absolute favourite BUT one of them is Joo Won changes his name from Han Joo Won to Lee Joo Won. He does it when he's maybe nearing his mid-40s, as his father has recently fallen ill and is in hospital (meaning Joo Won's life is in the shit all over again, because the public/media want a piece of him) so, to get rid of his father's name/"legacy"/baggage, he changes it. He alsoooo changes it because he wants him and Dong Sik to have the same family name (he's been influenced by western marriage culture). So, he does it for all the reasons previously mentioned and because jwds can't legally get married in South Korea, so it's like a sweet workaround.

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

Ch. Twenty Three

⚠WARNING: Mentions of mental health treatment

• ────── ✾ ────── •

You look up from your phone, glancing at your companions. Kita is resting his head on Aran’s shoulder, his eyes closed. Aran also has his eyes closed. From a quick glance it looks like they’re sleeping but they’re both sitting far too tense. Suna is sitting in his chair, awake. He’s scrolling on his phone but his eyes have a glazed-over look.

Needless to say, you’re all quite worn out.

Your phone pings and you look at the new messages.

You stand from your seat and walk over to Kita and Aran. They stir immediately, giving away the fact that they weren’t asleep at all.

“My friends are going to stop by with dinner,” you say. “They’re bringing enough for us all, including the Miyas. But I’m not sure if they’ll be down.”

Aran blinks in surprise but Kita stands to dip into a bow. “That is very generous of them, thank you. I have some money that I would like to use to pay.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary!” You wave your hands in front of you. “Please, it will be our treat.” Kita looks like he wants to interrupt so you speak again with a smile. “Please, you are all visitors. It would not be very hospitable for me, so I insist.”

This time Kita is the one who blinks at you. He doesn’t reply right away, so Aran leans around him and gives you a smile. “Thank you, Y/N. I’m sure Kita won’t want to object to your hospitality.”

“No, not at all.” Kita murmurs. But he gives you a small smile before bowing his head again and sitting down. You nod and go back to your seat. Suna still has his eyes on his phone but you hear a small mumble from the side after you sit.

“Thanks.”

You glance at him and nod. Your group falls into a lapse of silence, which again gives your brain ample time to wonder. You can’t stop thinking about Osamu, and hoping that he’s okay. Sure he’s physically okay, especially here in the hospital. But you have no idea what a psychiatric watch entails. Is he alone? Does someone have to sit with him and watch him? Does he have to be restrained?

That idea alone makes your heart throb, and you clench your fists to stop the onslaught of negative thoughts. But it doesn’t stop the image of Osamu sitting alone, tied to the bed and looking petrified.

You physically shake your head. There’s no way he’s alone. His parents went up there ages ago. His mother was not about to leave him alone if she could help it. She was in tears when she met you, clearly relieved at the idea of Osamu having a friend in Sendai. She must have been so worried about him, and so scared that he’d never see him again.

It makes your heart ache for your own parents, but you know it’s just noticeable from being close to this situation. You miss your parents, sure, but you talk to them nearly every other day. You visit them and they visit you. Your relationship is fostered with constant communication and check-ins.

You can only imagine how distant and helpless Osamu’s mother has felt these past few weeks without any contact from Osamu. And how powerless she must have felt when realizing that she couldn’t reach out to him in any way.

Part of it breaks your heart, for both Osamu and for his mother. But another part of you is grateful that you were able to be some support for Osamu when he was truly alone here in Sendai.

“Y/N-chan,” a voice calls out. You turn and see Oikawa, Mattsun and Makki head towards you, all laden with plastic bags filled with food. Makki looks worried, Mattsun stoic, but Oikawa glances around the lobby. You watch him offload his bags to Mattsun before he makes for the reception desk. There, several nurses and staff are glaring at your group - you hope that Oikawa can run interference and make them not hate you enough to kick you out.

“Hey guys,” you greet and stand when Makki and Mattsun get closer. Makki sets his bags down on a chair and immediately pulls you into his arms.

“How are you doing?” He asks.

“I’m okay, just exhausted.” You pull away and turn to Kita, Aran and Suna. “This is one of my best friends Hanamaki Takahiro, and that’s his boyfriend Mattsukawa Issei.” Mattsun looks up from where he’s organizing the take out on a small end table and nods.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Makki says. “I hope our dear Y/N-chan hasn’t been too much trouble for you.”

You elbow Makki for his quip, not missing his smirk. It’s not a full Makki smirk but it’s the start of one.

“On the contrary Y/N has been more than helpful.” Kita says politely. “My name is Kita Shinsuke. This is Aran Ojiro and Suna Rintarou.” Aran waves his hand in greeting while Suna just nods. Kita bows towards Makki. “Thank you for bringing dinner, it is very appreciated.”

“But of course!” Oikawa saunters over and sets down a stack of plates and cutlery. His schmoozing of the hospital staff must have gone better than you thought. “And I am Y/N-chan’s best friend - Oikawa Tooru.”

“Yeah, we met you yesterday.” Aran points out, as if Oikawa genuinely forgot and is not re-introducing himself for attention.

“It’s kind of hard to forget someone like you.” Suna says quietly. Oikawa glows at that, but you’re almost certain Suna meant it as an insult. Before you can say anything Mattsun speaks.

“The food is going to get cold, so let’s eat.”

Everyone murmurs thanks and fills up their plates. There’s plenty to feed them all, plus the Miyas, and give them enough leftovers. Everyone sits down in the chairs and digs in.

You know you should eat but you can’t bring yourself to do anything more than push the food around your plate. Suna, sitting next to you, is in a similar state. Both of your actions don’t go unnoticed by Oikawa.

“Y/N-chan, Stringbean - you need to eat.” He chides.

“Stringbean?” Suna asks flatly.

“Tell me I’m wrong.” Oikawa smiles sweetly, the challenge going unanswered when Suna looks back at his plate.

“Suna-kun, please try to have some food.” Kita’s gentle request carries the cadence of an order, and Suna is quick to comply. You glance at Kita, who gives you a nod. “You too, YN.”

You nod and turn back to your food. You twirl your fork in some noodles and take a bite. Looking back up you see both Oikawa and Kita smiling at you.

It’s quiet for a few more minutes, where you’re able to get some more food in you, when Kita speaks up.

“I just want to thank you all again for bringing dinner. Especially today, I understand that it is a more difficult day than others.” Kita pauses, his face turning somber. “And it goes without saying, but I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Wait, how do you know about that?” Mattsun asks.

“Oikawa informed me of the date last night.” Kita answers.

“Oh.” Mattsun answers. He pokes at his food. “We’re sorry for your loss also.”

Kita nods. “Thank you.” It’s quiet again after that, both groups of friends finishing the food on their plates.

You find it a bit surreal that all the people surrounding you now are similar yet so different. And how crazy your paths have become intertwined purely by chance.

You don’t get much time to ruminate on this thought for long before Osamu’s parents come down into the lobby. You all watch as they walk towards your group, Kita and Aran standing to meet them.

Osamu’s mother holds up her hands. “Osamu is going to be alright.” She looks exhausted but there’s a light in her eyes that wasn’t there before. “His fever broke but they’re going to keep him overnight so he can rest.”

Your group lets out a collective sigh and you feel your heart lighten at the news.

But she’s not done talking. “We spoke with the doctor and she called in a psychiatrist and they recommended that Osamu should stay at an in-patient facility here in Sendai for a month. If his doctors are happy with his progress and he’s happy with his progress, he’ll move back home for out-patient therapy.”

Suna speaks up. “He’s coming home?”

The mom nods with a smile. “Yes, he’s coming home.”

Suna exhales sharply and falls further into his seat. He covers his face with his hands and breathes hard. You can see his shoulders shaking minutely, and watch as Aran ducks down to put an arm around his shoulders. Kita steps up to give Osamu’s mother a hug. He’s speaking to her softly but you can’t make out what he’s saying.

You feel someone come up next to you. “Are you alright?”

You glance and see Oikawa watching Kita and Osamu’s mom hug. You take a second to gauge how you’re actually feeling right now, given everything that has happened to you today.

“I’m relieved,” you answer honestly. “Osamu is okay and he’s going to be okay. But also, I’m proud that he’s taking the necessary steps to help himself.”

“Yeah, but,” Oikawa starts. “He’s going to move away from Sendai. And Hyogo is pretty far…”

He trails off and he gives you a sad look. It takes you a second but when you realize what he’s implying your face hardens.

“Osamu is getting the help he needs, and I’d be a terrible friend if I was anything but supportive of that.”

“I know, I know.” Oikawa quickly replies. “I wasn’t trying to make it seem like you didn’t care about him.”

You smile, feeling the previous irritation melt away. “Thanks Tooru.” You pull your friend into a side hug, and let him squeeze you back. You understand what he was trying to say, but you stand by your words - your feelings are the least important thing right now.

“Y/N?” Osamu’s mom comes up to you and Oikawa. Behind her you see Osamu’s dad being introduced to Mattsun and Makki while getting served food from Aran. But you’re focused on the woman standing in front of you now. “Osamu said he wanted to talk to you, if you wanted.”

You blink in surprise. “What?”

“Visiting hours have ended but the doctors have made a special exception for you - I can take you up to his room but you’ll only be able to talk for 15 minutes.”

“Oh.” You can’t really say more, still completely thrown by what’s happening. Osamu wants to see you, apparently bad enough to warrant special permission.

But what you’re really focusing on is that Osamu wants to see you. That last time you and Osamu were in the same room he was delirious with a fever, and the time before that he was drunk and angry with you.

You’re pretty certain that he’s more coherent now than either previous time, but you’re still caught off guard with his request.

But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to see him too.

“Okay,” you finally answer. “But I can go up by myself, if you want to sit and get some food.”

The woman blinks before she gives you a smile. It’s so similar to Osamu’s that it makes your heart skip a beat. “I can see why Osamu wants to see you, you’re so sweet.” Your face burns with your blush but Osamu’s mother doesn’t comment on it. “He’s in room 3D - if you run into anyone you can tell them Dr. Yamada gave you permission.”

You nod at her instructions. She gives you another smile and gently pats your shoulder before leaving you to grab food with her husband.

“Will you be okay?” Oikawa asks you quietly.

You don’t hesitate to answer. “Yes, I’ll be fine.” You smile and step away. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Good luck,” Oikawa calls as you walk away. You look over your shoulder and nod, before turning back to the elevators and making your way to the third floor.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: The story is wrapping up quite quickly! Quicker than I want! (Not that I'm upset about the direction we're going in!) Looks like the reader has a (much needed) conversation with Osamu coming up - fingers crossed it goes better than their last conversation!

Can't believe it but the final chapter and epilogue will be posted on Friday! Thank you all so much for reading the story so far, I truly cannot put into words how amazing you all are. I read every single comment and see every single kudo and it makes me so happy and grateful. 💖

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU (bold cannot be tagged): @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow @beidouluvr @kozuken-ma @imarriedachef @badkarma-a @reina-de-tay @meianshugoswife @creepykawass

[reidisreading]

Sleep Deprivation - Spencer Reid x Reader

Writing Prompt: Spencer Reid is so sleep deprived he doesn’t notice his actions and accidentally crosses a line with reader. Reader ends up being abducted by unsub and Spencer has to make a choice towards his feelings to reader.

POV: Third Person POV but following certain characters.

Spencer Reid with they/them Reader

Type: angst with fluff at the end

warnings / trigger warnings: abduction, mentions of killing, subtle mentions of some sort of mental illness, reader gets hurt physically (punching, etc.), mild cursing.

*author note* Hi, this is my first story and I just wanted to get it out of my google drive page. I didn’t proofread this at all so there’s probably plenty of mistakes (if there is just tell me). I promise future stories will be a lot better than this. 

*word count: 4,100*

To the outside world, Spencer Reid was the perfect person in control of all aspects of his life. 

The problem with Spencer Reid was that he was too smart and active for his own safety. He struggled with sleep deprivation among other things that made it hard for him to keep track of himself. At this exact moment he was struggling with holding six hours of sleep in the last three days. He knows the dangers, he sees statistics, but when he closes his eyes all he can do is see Y/N in danger like in their last case and he can’t go through that. Not again, not when he was the one that found them all bloodied and almost unconscious. This was Spencer’s third cup of coffee in just that morning and the clock hadn’t turned to seven thirty, yet. He finished the last sip and rushed out the door to head to the subway, his hatred for driving now a good thing with his exhaustion getting in the way. A buzzing came from his satchel as he got on his seat, the subway less full than usual. SSA Hotchner Calling 

“Good morning.” Reid’s husky voice shone through the speaker. 

“Good morning, Reid, we have a new case in California, how far away are you?” Hotch said anxiously.  

“Twenty five minutes away, including the walk.” Reid says confidently. 

“Okay, head straight to the bullpen on your way in. We have no time to waste.” Hotch says before hanging up the phone. Reid finished reading the book he started that same morning and moved on to the second book he had stashed in his bag on his way out. 

“Platform-.” He wasn’t paying much attention to his surroundings as he got off the cart and walked towards his job. The smell of the station made his nose hurt as he remembered previous cases of ill intent people doing foul things to their surroundings. 

Get it together, Reid. You can’t walk in there distracted, they’ll know something is wrong. You can’t have Penelope and JJ worried all over you. You especially can’t have Y/N worried for you, you need to keep your head leveled around them. 

It was probably easy to guess that their last case had taken the hardest toll on Spencer. His feelings for Y/N making it difficult to concentrate when the unsub had taken them as a means to keep the FBI scared. Spencer had spent most of his time away in a small office hunched over papers and profiles trying to get them back. 

“Good morning, Doctor Reid.” The receptionist greeted the young doctor. 

“Good morning!” Spencer said in a matched tone. He walked to the elevator, hitting the familiar key without looking at it at all. 

Okay, you need to wake up and be alert. No dozing off like you’ve been doing today. You have a job to do, people are counting on you. Spencer repeated the same words to himself like a mantra until he saw the clear doors to the BAU main office. 

Penelope Garcia POV

We have a tablet for Hotch, Rossi, JJ, Emily, of course, Chocolate Thunder, and using paper we have Spencer Reid and Y/N Y/L/N. They would be so cute together, those two. I know I could find a way for Hotch to let them be together if only they would admit their feelings for each other, this is ridiculous. It’s very obvious to everyone but those two that they’re the perfect match made. Ironic how the two smartest people to enter this building are too oblivious to notice this. If I had a nickel for every time-

“How we looking, Baby Girl?” Morgan interrupted Garcia from her ramble. 

“Like I’d rather be watching something where someone doesn’t die.” She answered annoyed. 

“Don’t we all?” He shook his head as he took his tablet, scanning some of the images, the flash of hurt running through his facial features like a marathon. 

“Okay, we’re just waiting for Reid but he should be here any second.” Hotch says stressed while sitting down. The rest of the team, sans Reid, pile into the room taking their respective seats. Everyone opens their files on their tablets while Y/N scans through their paper folder. 

“Where is Pretty Boy?” Morgan asked looking directly at Y/N as if they would know anything; thankfully Y/N was too focused on the case in front of them to pay any attention. 

“Stop it.” Garcia whispered to him. Morgan looked at her and laughed while shaking his head. 

It’s safe to say that the entire team knew that those two were crushing on each other, they had that energy about them. 

Garcia got up from her seat, ready to direct the team along JJ on their latest case when the Boy Genius walked into the room in a hurry, his satchel already in his hands ready to be removed from his body. 

“I’m sorry, there was a minor mishap and- not important, sorry.” He said while moving towards his seat which was conveniently next to Y/N’s. He stopped next to them, giving them a light kiss on the head before moving to his seat, the small action causing everyone in the room to fall into a heavy silence. He didn’t seem to notice this small movement as he continued on with his regular routine of taking everything off to focus on the file in front of him. “What’s going on in California?” He asked looking up at Garcia, only to notice her stunned expression. “What?” He asked looking at the rest of the team, noticing their silence and awkward glances at each other. The only one not looking at anyone in particular was Y/N. 

“Nothing.” Garcia said while turning around to look at the slide show. 

“Family in California was brutally murdered in their home. Father was moved away from them, from the shows of it, it seems to have been postmortem.” Garcia says while looking at JJ frantically. 

“Two children were left in the closet- I’m sorry, I can’t do this. Reid, what was that?” Hotch asked while he asked JJ to pause the slideshow and turned to look at one of the two younger members of the team. 

“Hotch, no.” Garcia whispered. He’s going to ruin everything! No! We FINALLY have something that officially indicates one of them feels something. 

“I-I don’t understand?” Reid says confused. 

“Pretty Boy coming out of his shell.” Morgan chuckles. 

“What?” Reid asks, still confused. 

“You just kissed Y/N.” Emily says sliding closer to him. 

“I did what?” Reid asked with a raised tone. 

“Reid, what’s going on?” Rossi asks. 

“I don’t- I don’t know.” Reid said genuinely concerned.

“You look tired.” Emily said, “well, I mean, more than usual.” She says worried. 

“I mean, I haven’t really slept but it’s not that bad.” 

“How much is ‘not that bad’?” Hotch asks. 

“Six.” Reid whispered. 

“Six hours daily?” Hotch presses. 

“The last three days.” Reid finishes. 

“Reid, no.” Emily says sadly. 

“Can we get back to the case?” Reid asks, the entire room shifting energy. Y/N staying quiet as possible. It didn’t slip anyone’s notice that Y/N didn’t try to move from Reid, it was almost like they were shifting closer to him. 

“Okay, uhm, two children were left in the closet, their hands tied behind their back and their mouths covered with electrical tape. It seems like most of the extra things the unsub did were postmortem because the children were tied and silenced after this unsub killed them.” Garcia said. 

“The mom seems to have had the most anger targeted. She had leisure wounds around her neck and wrists, but that’s not what killed her. She was drowned in the bathtub, and it seems he may have stabbed her multiple times postmortem, too.” Y/N says as they go through their own file. 

“Maybe they had a bad relationship with a maternal figure and they’re looking for ways to get back at her.” Rossi says. 

“Any reason why the unsub may have targeted this family?” Hotch asks. 

“None that I’ve found yet, sir.” Garcia answers. 

“Okay, wheels up in thirty. Reid, I need to talk to you privately.” Hotch says as he dismisses the team. 

Arron Hotchner I will have a word with you.

Spencer Reid POV

“I need you to stay at the base for this one.” Hotch says automatically. 

“What? No, I can’t.” Reid replies. 

“Yes. What happened there is only a glimpse of what can happen in the future, Reid. I cannot take the risk with the rest of the team. You stay here, work the case, and rest up. Sleep deprivation can cause memory loss and you’re already seeing the side effect. I can’t put you or others in danger.” 

“Hotch, please.” Reid whispers. 

“Y/N will be okay, I promise Reid.” Hotch said sternly. 

“That’s not-.” Reid cut himself short. 

“Your job now is to stay here and look at everything we can’t. Come up with theories. I have to go.” Hotch starts to walk away, “and I want you to get home at a reasonable time to sleep. I need you in future cases.” He finishes, walking towards the last of his paperwork and walks out of the room. Reid looks around the room and spots Penelope at the door, trying (and failing) to look inconspicuous. 

“Let’s go Pen.” Reid calls out to her and picks up his own file. 

“Reid, I don’t think Y/N-.”

“Pen, please.” Reid stops mid track, “I’m not allowed to go and I’m already exhausted as it is. Please, let’s just focus on this.” He says to her as he turns around and comes face to face with Y/N. “Hi.” He whispers. 

“Hi.” 

“Are you- is everything okay?” He hushes. 

“Yeah, I just came to say bye to you both. We’re on our way out.” Y/N replies looking at Reid like a fragile doll, if they moved too fast, he may break. 

“Be safe.” He says, almost so quiet they miss it. 

“Always am.” Y/N replied with a smile, “see you, Pen.” They waved at each other before Y/N finally walked away from them. 

“Oh you’re smitten to the T.” Penelope teased. 

“Penelope Garcia, there’s a room we need to get to and have no time to talk nonsense.” Reid said frustrated. 

“Oh, we can most definitely talk while we’re in there mister Doctor Genius.” She giggled walking away from him. 

“No, Penelope.” He says in a rushed tone as he jogs behind her. 

————————

“Hello my furry friends, what can I do ya for?” Penelope asked in an enthusiastic tone. 

“I need you to give me any and all financial statements about this family. Down to what they spent money on leisurely.” Hotch said not bothering to comment on her strange wording. 

“Anything I should be looking for?” She asked. 

“Yes, anything that may have been spent on from time to time. No cycle, something that if anyone looking wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow.” Emily pipes in. 

“Reid?” Y/N called out, Reid’s cheeks automatically turning a bright red, he’s ears matching. 

“Yeah?” He asked in a high pitched tone before clearing his throat, calling out to them again, “how can I help?” He asked. 

“I found some letters and cards and they look like different people wrote them but I need you to read in between the lines and assign who wrote which letter.” Y/N said picking up the different notes and holding them to the camera, “I’m going to have JJ scan these and send them to Pen, if she could please do the rest so I can have a detailed explanation of the potential unsub.” They finished explaining. 

“Yeah, I’ll have them finished for you as soon as I can.” Reid said confidently. 

“Thanks Spence.” The team said their goodbyes. 

“Oh you’ve got it bad, Lover Boy.” Penelope said through giggles. 

“I don’t know what that means.” Reid said uncomfortably. 

“That Y/N called you ‘Spence’ and you just about melted.” She teased. 

“That’s not true.” 

“Oh come on! When are you going to just get it over with and ask them out?” Penelope asked in a serious tone. 

“Never, they don’t like me and I probably made them uncomfortable today with something I don’t even remember doing.” He fiddled with his pencil. 

“Have you asked them?” 

“No.”

“Then, you don’t know.” Penelope finished turning back to her computers seeing the files JJ sent, “Come on Boy Genius, your future significant other has work for you.” She said excitedly. 

—————————

“Reid, another family was murdered twenty minutes ago, do you have anything that could lead us?” Hotch stressed. 

“Yes, it seems all these families have in common is their religious beliefs and where they do grocery shopping.” He said going through his own paperwork. 

“Those are two completely different things.” Emily said. 

“No, because all three families come from the same neighborhood, down to the same economic standard. That means they all went to the same place of prayer and they all shop from the same places. It goes down to us having already interviewed the unsub.” Y/N says, paper shuffling is heard by Garcia and Reid as Y/N moves around the room with the rest of the team. 

“They’re right. We concluded that the unsub is a white male in their mid twenties who comes from a household deprived of a mother figure or a divorce household. From the way the murders are being done, it shows they have a previous criminal record with small crimes, maybe petty theft or something big like sexual assault.” Reid goes on. 

“In that case, we have only interviewed twenty people. Garcia, can you narrow down the list?” Hotch asked. 

“You must be new here.” She says with an eye roll. 

“Keep us updated.” Emily smiles. 

“Stay safe.” Reid says, everyone knowing he’s truly directing it to one person, “all of you, stay safe.” He covers up before hanging up. 

Jennifer Jareau’s POV

“Hey, Y/N?” JJ had wanted to speak with Y/N since they got out of the bullpen but for one reason or the other never got the chance. 

“Hey, JJ.” Y/N smiled at the blonde. 

“I know what Spencer did today was out of norm. Are you okay?” She asked. JJ knew neither of the Doctors were big on being touched unless they initiated it. 

“I’m okay.” The young Doctor assured her. 

“Can I ask you something?” JJ started, “I’m probably way out of line and you don’t have to answer but…” She started off testing the water, she kept an eye on Y/N making sure they weren’t uncomfortable at any moment, “do you like Spencer?” JJ finished. 

The words coming out of their mouth wasn’t what gave them away, it was the way their cheeks and neck flared up in red pigmentation as their hands dropped the small cup of coffee they were holding, which had thankfully been empty. 

“What? No, that’s- JJ, I do not like anyone.” Y/N stammered and failed to control their movements. 

“Oh, I’m so glad to have asked you instead of Penelope.” JJ started laughing. 

“I do not like… JJ it is wrong to make assumptions of others. It’s- JJ, no.” Y/N continued. 

“Babe, it’s okay. Everyone and their mom’s can see that you and Spencer have a thing. For being the two smartest people I know… you’re both very daft.” JJ said sweetly. 

“I actually don’t think he likes me, JJ. I noticed that his behavior towards me changed into a more protective one after we finished the case. I think he’s guilty because he was meant to stay with me and we got separated.” Y/N said sadly. 

“You cannot possibly be serious.” JJ questioned. 

“I am.” Y/N retorted. 

“That man is in love with you.” 

“No.” Y/N said as they picked up the empty cup they’d previously dropped. “Anyway, we need to finish this before anyone else dies.” 

“Y/N…” 

“Hotch is waiting.” Y/N left the small room. 

When JJ walked outside, the rest of the team was doing a video call with Garcia and Reid. Y/N was busy looking through a stack of papers while Garcia gave more information about the possible unsub. 

“Hey Y/N?” Spencer spoke up once Garcia finished.

“I’m here.” Y/N left the stack of papers next to them as they paid close attention to Reid. 

Reid cleared his throat twice before he started detailing the information he’d found, “it seems like three people wrote those letters. It wasn’t easy to figure out because the same person switched through hand writings quite easily. So, unless you were looking for it, you wouldn’t have seen it.” Reid finished while holding up the letters now filled with side notes. 

“Thanks, Spence.” Y/N smiled at him before picking up the stacks, “that actually narrows down the unsub to four different people.” They picked up a folder one by one and handed it off to others. 

“Garcia, tell us anything on Tony Carter.” Hotch asks. 

While Garcia was telling them all the smallest details she could find to Tony Carter, Spencer and Y/N both went over the notes again. 

“It’s Jared Tall.” They said in unison. 

“Babies, you can’t just bring out the genius in the middle of my genius.” Garcia said annoyed. 

“How do you know?” Hotch asks the both of them. 

“The notes.” Spencer said like it was obvious. 

“It did catch me off guard how this one was written, but it says Jared Tall.” Y/N said like it was no big deal as they pointed at the small details that brought out the name Jared Tall. 

Y/N’s POV

“Hotch, I’m by the south exit. There’s fresh tracks. I think he’s here.” Y/N told their supervisor. 

“Don’t go in without backup. He’s incredibly dangerous and will take out anyone in his place.” Hotch directed. 

“Copy.” Y/N finished replying when they felt a sharp pain come across their temple making them crash against the ground. The cold surrounded them as did darkness. 

Morgan’s POV

“Morgan, I need you to go to the south exit with Y/L/N. They said there’s fresh tracks and that’s dangerous.” Hotch directed. Morgan didn’t answer and just moved to the exit his supervisor had appointed him to. 

“Hotch, Y/L/N isn’t here.” Morgan said through the radio. 

“What?” Hotch asked. Derek didn’t need the radio to hear his directions towards the rest of the team. 

“Their radio is here, Hotch.” Morgan turned around to face him. 

“They couldn’t have gone too far. I gave them directions two minutes ago.” Hotch said while looking around. He turned his radio on and directed everyone to meet at the front of the abandoned cabin. “I need everyone in a group of three. Dogs need to go with you. Y/L/N has intensive knowledge on how to get out of hostage situations but there’s blood on the floor and they may be unconscious now. There’s a likelihood that the unsub took Y/L/N to the same location he has the rest of his victims, if that’s the case he’ll have two children. You need to be extremely careful and vigilant. We have until sundown.” Hotch dismissed everyone Morgan staying behind with him as Hotch called Garcia. 

“Genie in a lap. You have three wishes.” Garcia said in her usual chirpy voice. 

“Is Reid with you?” Hotch asked. 

“No. He went out to get us lunch.” Garcia said as the blood ran cold through her veins, “sir, please don’t tell me that I have to tell Boy Wonder that the person he’s in love with and he doesn’t even realize loves him back, has been kidnapped again.”

“Y/L/N what?” Hotch and Morgan could hear Reid from the other end of the line. 

“He knows.” Garcia whispered on the line. 

“Reid, I’ve got every agent and officer looking for them. They’ll be okay.” Hotch promised. 

“I’ve heard that before.” Reid said darkly. 

“I’ll call with any updates.” Hotch hung up. 

Y/N POV

I’ve got a concussion for sure. Okay, and one broken rib. I can’t open my eyes or move, definitely blindfolded and hands are tied. Probably underground. By the voices near me there’s two children here as well.  

“The fucking FBI. Fuck.” There was pacing around the room. Only one set of feet were moving around. “If you scream, I kill them.” The unsub said. Not knowing what to do, Y/L/N just nodded. “This wouldn’t have happened if that bitch had just ran away with me.” He continues. 

“Who, Jared?” Y/N asked calmly. 

“Patty!” Jared shouted. “She had to stay with her stupid perfect family. What about me?” He kept shouting uncontrollably. 

“This isn’t your fault Jared. She didn’t deserve you.” 

“You’re right. She had to pay.” Jared kept pacing. 

“Jared, I need you to do me a favour.” Y/N approached. “You need to let the children go. They’re innocent in all of this, just as much as you are.” The added in the end. 

“They’re right, Jared. The children are innocent.” Y/N heard Morgan say evenly. “They’re just as innocent as you. They’d never hurt anyone, just like you.” Morgan approached. Y/L/N could now hear him walking near them. Something must have happened in the ten seconds that there was complete silence, because all Y/N heard after that were three gunshots and suddenly they were being untied. “It’s Morgan, you’re okay, Y/N.” Morgan whispers to them. 

“The children.” Y/N whispers. 

“JJ’s got them.” Morgan replies. 

“I’ve got a broken rib.” Y/N tells him. 

“Anything else?” Morgan asks as he lifts them from the entrance. 

“Nothing I can feel as of now.” They reply surely, “Morgan, Reid is-.”

“He knows you were taken. He’s not happy at the moment.” Morgan replies. 

“Where’s Hotch?” 

“We found another child near here and he’s been assisting on that.” 

“This wasn’t his fault. None of us could have known.” They tell Morgan. 

“Tell that to your lover boy. He’s pissed.” Morgan laughs as he sets them on the bed of the ambulance. 

“He’s not my-.” Y/N starts saying before getting interrupted. 

“He’s in love with you. That makes him Lover Boy.”

Morgan teases. 

“I cannot wait for you to no longer be single.” Y/N teases him. 

“Right back at ya, Pretty Face.” Morgan flicks his finger against their chin and walks away; allowing the first responder to assess their wounds. 

Y/N had to get checked at the local hospital, the rib that had fractured was making it painful for them to breathe and couldn’t wait to get checked in Quantico. 

To say the ride back was long and uncomfortable was an understatement. They’d spend two extra days in California and that was two days too long. 

“You get to see your mans today.” Morgan teased. 

“Hotch, Morgan is being annoying.” Y/N said loudly. 

“Did you just tattle on me?” Morgan asked in mocked surprise. 

“And I’ll do it again.” Y/N said confidently. 

“Behave or I’ll ground you both.” JJ said sternly. Once the jet landed, all their teasing suddenly vanished. Garcia and Spencer were waiting for them at the entrance of the BAU floor. No one said anything as they all hugged each other, Y/N keeping their distance from the team as Spencer gave the rest of the team a small half hug trying not to be rude as his family came in contact with his arms. The all unsubtly excused themselves, giving Spencer and Y/N some privacy. 

Something changed inside Spencer when he found out that Y/N had been abducted. Something shifted, it was like he finally understood he could no longer pretend and show a façade every time he was around them. 

Gravity was working differently now, or maybe it was their legs, neither of them were sure which it was. They crossed the small space between them as Y/N crashed against Spencer’s arms; the world just that much lighter now that neither of them were holding anything in. Spencer held them so tightly he was sure he was going to turn them into dust. 

“Wait, your rib-.” Spencer started. 

“Shh.” Y/N pulled away further from him as they grabbed him by his sweater vest and their lips finally met. 

There was cheering in the near distance but they both pretended they didn’t know what was going on behind them. 

Spencer pulled away for a second causing Y/N to give him a slight pout, “go on a date with me?” Spencer finally asked. 

“Only if you go back to kissing me.” Y/N replied, Spencer attaching their lips together before Y/N could even finish the sentence. 

[little-mad]

Downsides of Thievery Pt. 1

~ Next Part ~

“Maybe stealing from an interdimensional diplomat wasn’t my greatest idea,” Gavin thought to himself from his current position in a jail cell.

He’d been hesitant about the job right away. Stealing from humans was one thing, but stealing from alteons was on a whole new level. However, the payment the client had offered Gavin had been too tantalizing to refuse. Who knew it was bad to be greedy?

“Shit,” he grumbled under his breath. How was he supposed to know the diplomat would have some weird magical artifact thing that could detect and identify trespassers? That was just unfair. Gavin was a good thief, so good that he’d managed to make a career out of it. If he had been caught due to his own ineptitude maybe he wouldn’t be so peeved. But this was just a matter of not having enough information. Thus making it unfair.

Prison was something every criminal feared, but it was also something every criminal prepared for in some sense. If Gavin was headed for prison, he might not be so worried. Sure it would suck, but at least he felt sure his undeniable charms would make him friends in no time. But Gavin wasn’t headed for prison--no, he was being extradited to the alteon dimension.

Gavin shivered at the thought. Despite having stolen from one, he had never actually seen an alteon in person. Pictures and videos could only do so much, at least that’s what people said. Apparently the true gravity of an alteon’s massive size couldn’t be understood until you saw one in real life.

Not only would Gavin quite literally be put in the hands of an alteon, but he would also be getting taken to a completely different dimension that only a few very important humans had ever visited before. Maybe he should’ve felt special.

Were the circumstances different, Gavin might’ve even felt excited for the adventure. His work had taken him all over the world, it would be thrilling to get to see a whole new one. However, he had a feeling he wouldn’t exactly be getting the grand tour.

It was at that moment that Gavin began to hear footsteps approaching his cell. A few moments later, two business-suit clad federal agents appeared. Gavin scrambled to his feet and took several unconscious steps towards the back wall. The key jangling in one of the agents’ hands told him exactly what time it was.

“Your ride is here,” the female agent announced, a slight smirk playing at the corner of her lips.

Gavin scowled.

The key carrying agent swiftly unlocked the door and beckoned for Gavin to exit the cell. “Come on, we don’t have all day,” he stated impatiently.

“Aren’t you going to cuff me or something?” Gavin questioned, taking note of the fact that neither agent had brought handcuffs with them.

The woman’s smirk grew but she remained silent. “The alteon won’t need cuffs to restrain you,” the man responded.

Gavin instantly felt the pit of fear in his stomach grow. Horrible images of himself trapped in gigantic hands were invading his mind. Being given over to the alteons meant that his civil rights would be essentially irrelevant. Unless alteons had laws protecting humans, which he doubted, then they could do pretty much whatever they wanted with him. Gavin swallowed hard.

“A-actually, I’m okay staying here…” he stammered. God, he hated how pathetic he sounded. Gavin’s line of work required a lot of guts, and while a healthy dose of caution was always good, he had never considered himself to be cowardly in any sense of the word. But now...well now he felt like the biggest fraidy cat in the whole world.

The male agent gave Gavin what almost seemed like a sympathetic look. “Sorry, but that’s not an option,” he said, once again making a beckoning motion with his hand.

“Dad was right. I should’ve become a doctor,” Gavin thought miserably to himself as he very reluctantly exited his cell.

The trip up from the cell block to the roof of the building pretty much felt like a march to death. Federal employees stared unabashedly at the man practically being sacrificed to giants. Some wore looks of pity, while others had smug expressions on their faces, as if to say “serves him right.” Were Gavin in a better mood he probably would have scowled at the nosy jerks, or at least stuck his tongue out at them. But as things were, he was in no mood.

~

Rael sighed as he shifted his feet impatiently. It didn’t elude him that every human in the vicinity stiffened at his movement. He refrained from rolling his eyes. It was irritating how the humans constantly acted so skittish all the time, as if he would suddenly go on some sort of rampage.

“Why did they have to give me this assignment?” Rael mentally groaned.

Unlike many of the members of the Imperial Guard, he hadn’t joined with some idiotic fantasy of glorious duels and honorable battlescars. Rael joined because he knew it was the easiest way to elevate his station. Plus standing guard at the palace was easy work that he was perfectly content with. That’s why he had been less than pleased when he'd been informed he would have to venture to the human dimension to retrieve some human criminal.

Prior to today, Rael had only seen a human once, it had been from a distance and only for a second as they were being escorted into the palace. Therefore, he’d had no personal reason to dislike humans. It was just that from everything he had heard about them, they sounded so...annoying. And so far, his experiences with them today had proven that to be fairly accurate.

Rael suppressed a sigh as he glanced around. Thankfully the building he’d been told to go to was at the edge of a human city, meaning he wouldn’t have to put up with civilians gawking at him. The federal agents gathered on the roof in front of him were bad enough.

The stories about how giant being in the human realm would make you feel rang true. Rael felt positively colossal next to people who looked to be barely taller than his fingers. Not to mention the building he was standing beside, which appeared to be three stories, reached no higher than his knees. “Humans are lucky our imperialistic urges died a century ago,” Rael thought. Taking over the human realm would no doubt be a piece of cake, even with their supposed technological advancements.

“Sir!” Rael’s attention was caught by the shout of one of the humans standing on the roof below. He looked down to see the speaker was the woman who appeared to be in charge. “We apologize for the wait, the prisoner is being brought up now,” she announced. It was almost amusing, the way they had to yell for their tiny voices to even be perceived by him.

“Good,” Rael responded simply, electing not to mention the fact that the prisoner should’ve been ready and waiting for him when he arrived.

After a few minutes, Rael caught sight of the door on the roof entrance swing open. Three humans stepped out. The two dressed similarly to all the other federal agents practically had to drag the third one out. It was difficult for Rael to see from so far away, but the odd one out appeared to be a young man. He had light skin, a crop of messy brown hair, and appeared to be quite slim.

Rael raised a single eyebrow. “This is the prisoner?” he questioned as he eyed the man. He didn’t look like much, which was applicable to pretty much all humans, but Rael found it hard to believe that this one could’ve successfully stolen from an alteon.

“Yes, sir!” replied the woman in charge. “His name is Gavin Stone, he’s believed to be associated with many high profile robberies,” she explained.

Rael spared the human called “Gavin Stone” one last look before giving a shrug and reaching for the miniature iron cage attached to his belt.

The cage, which had been especially made for this occasion, was quite simple in its construction. The thing didn’t even have a lock because the latch to open the door was too big for a human’s miniscule hands to manage. It would do perfectly for keeping the criminal contained throughout the duration of the trip back to the palace.

The moment Gavin had laid eyes on the alteon, his body had practically separated from his mind. Physically, he was moving forward with the guidance of his two escorts, but his mind was still struggling to process the impossibly large person looming above him.

If the alteon’s size wasn’t strange enough, the guy looked like he’d stepped right out of a Renaissance Fair or something. His skin was a soft brown color, and he had long black hair that was tied into a loose ponytail behind him. His eyes were a striking teal color that stood out against his angular features. As for his clothing, he looked to be wearing what appeared to be some kind of light leather armor over top of a forest green tunic. Oh yeah, and then there was the fact that he had pointy elf ears.

Gavin had known the alteon dimension was almost medieval in nature, and he’d known the alteons had pointy ears, but it was still so damn bizarre to see in person.

As Gavin was in the middle of gaping, the giant began to move. He flinched at the action, and he noticed everyone else on the rooftop tense up as well. Clearly nobody was comfortable around this--this thing! “How can they hand me over to that?!”

It wasn’t until he had been practically shoved to the edge of the roof that Gavin’s brain caught up with what his body had been doing. Frantically he looked around him. All of the agents, including his former escorts, had backed away from the edge of the building closest to the alteon. This left Gavin stranded, with a giant man a mere few feet away.

With a hard gulp, Gavin tilted his head back to look up at the creature who was about to snatch him away. Those teal eyes were glancing down at him, and in his hand was a cage the perfect size for holding a stupid human who really should’ve just become a damn doctor.

[supercorp-hosie]

Josie and Lizzie personality, dynamics and popularity in reality

I've kind of done this before, like in my thoughts for 315. Now, I've made some additions to them, so I think why not start a new post? There are some points that remained the same with my thoughts for 315 and I've integrated some points from my rating of the writing of Legacies characters too.

Starting from Alaric being an absent father since the twins were 11. Caroline wasn’t there either. What’s left for Lizzie? Josie.

Josie had to handle herself and Lizzie alone. Sure Alaric might not always be absent, but the intensity of Lizzie’s perspective begs to differ. Josie had to understand Bipolar at a very young age; be there when Lizzie had her outburst; constantly checks on Lizzie to take her meds; digest the emotion impacts after the outburst; understand how Lizzie functions when she was down. None of that are easy. No one asks about how Josie feels. How she pent out? What does she need? Josie might feel the need to be not needing things and always be good so that she can get the love and attention from Alaric (in s1, Josie felt the need to lose the game to get on Alaric good side). As results, she just started to suppress her voice and her needs, because Lizzie needed them the most. Over time or years of suppressing in front of her dearest family, she most likely felt unneeded by her parents, and forgettable to her parents (the girl so quiet that her parents forget about her, the girl that Penelope won’t fight for anymore). She needed to feel needed, so she just let Lizzie take all of her, from whom she felt needed the most. It started a vicious cycle for the twins, shaped their dynamics and how Josie is in present days. Unfortunately, her problems were never solved, they accumulated, leaving the good and dark side from Josie being so separated and unbalanced, as no one has helped her to sort them out. The inner turmoil is always there, leading to the extreme polarity of Josie’s good and bad side.When she’s doing bad, she would be especially aggressive than she needed to be because that’s an instinct to compensate the lack of action before. After long suppression, once being released, the instinct would be stronger than usual and more uncontrollable. Under the influence of dark magic, Dark Josie felt like another personality taking over the whole Josie and protect their interests that true Josie are neglecting. Kind of like dissociative identity disorder but not really it? Fear the dog that doesn't bark.

From Lizzie perspective, we can see how she perceived Josie when they were little. Like Lizzie being princess but Josie being her android, personal valet? It just showed that after what Josie had endured and done, Lizzie thought of herself being princess but didn’t think Josie as her equal? Like Josie was programmed to bow to Lizzie. That’s the twins dynamic showing, partly Josie's mistake, but Josie deserved more than that, even when she’s derogatory to herself, Lizzie should uphold that for her. What really warms me from the Android situation, is that from how Josie is the combination of two Androids, showing that Lizzie actually looked up to Josie. For Lizzie, Josie can really take care of her so well that Lizzie can count Josie as her personal valet. Derogatory, yes, but that place is also very important to prince and princess. Remember that Lizzie can’t cook but Josie is like expert in cooking or baking? The knowledge for Android part means that in Lizzie’s mind, Josie actually is like the person who knows everything. Usually that figure should be our parents, but for Lizzie, Josie knows the answer to all. The fact that the special sword was in Josie’s thigh the whole time, just show the trust that Lizzie had in Josie. The security of her needs that Lizzie got from Josie and the validation Josie got from Lizzie, it’s kind of how the codependency between them works. Lizzie voices, Josie listens; Lizzie wants, Josie gives.

About Lizzie mental illness, after my research, I think that Lizzie situation is more like borderline personality disorder rather than bipolar. Lizzie has this low self-esteem issue, she sees herself lowly sometimes. Evidently, she always thinks that she had to better herself more, even in 310 where she misjudged Finch, she forgot the fact that she had improved a lot along the seasons and just go straight to a retreat, because she thinks she’s still a very bad person. A second before she saw herself like holy almighty, the next second she saw herself so bad that she was like the person in season one (and even in season one she wasn’t that bad). However, we can also see Lizzie thinks very highly of herself sometimes, or uses a narcissistic attitude to cover up her insecurities regarding her self-image, they just doesn't match with people's view of it. The most alarming one must be the whole thing about her funeral. It's clear that she hasn’t had a stable self-image of herself, which is more of a personality disorder rather than Bipolar, a mood disorder. About Lizzie’s mood swings, they are too sudden, abrupt, it triggers by events and the outcome of the trigger is quite immediate. As for Bipolar, the mood swing is more of a consistent cycle, not abrupt. Yes, events might trigger something, but they take time to set in. Patients will be overly energetic during maniac while feeling overly fatigue during the depression state. They can’t actually control their mood, it’s a mood disorder.

Tbh, the twins really have their personality issues to deal with. I totally agree with other about them being each other's foil. Like Lizzie being the one in between, while Josie being the one in extreme. Turning out that under the mean girl cover, Lizzie has such big heart; while Josie being the model sister on the extremely good side, turning out that she can be extremely dark. For real, they had like six personalities as a whole. The polarity in Josie; the polarity of Lizzie's self-image; plus the twins themselves being the foil and mirage to each other. They both have serious mental problems, Lizzie's apparent, Josie's invisible.

How does these reflect on their relationship? People would choose to get along with someone like Josie, they benefit from her habit of caring, listening, giving, and she doesn’t seem to have serious problem. As for Lizzie, people mostly like to be heard and to not be covered by another voice, they would want enough reciprocation, a habit which Lizzie is not that familiar. Not to mention, having a mental condition being well-known is not the best trait for strangers to start a new friendship or relationship. Moreover, when people observe their dynamic, they jump to conclusion rather quickly, that Lizzie is always taking things from Josie; she doesn’t care for Josie, etc. It doesn’t help Lizzie much as Josie tends to hide under that too, as being quiet is kind of a routine for her. She wants the spotlight but habitual instincts make her tend to hide from the spotlight. Therefore, as for popularity,Josie is definitely at the top, adored dearly by her peers, thus won an election herself wasn’t even running; while Lizzie, you know. Between a dog that always barks and one that doesn't bark, which will you choose? (not derogatory) However, if someone attack Lizzie, Josie will still protect her, like she did tell Penelope to leave Lizzie alone.

To shed light on Josie’s jealousy, it rooted from the abandonment issues of the twins. It is a consequence of them being Alaric’s second choice and the absence of Caroline. For Lizzie, the issue remains with only Hope, Alaric’s betrayal for Hope in her fanfics; in 314, people prioritising Hope over her is very triggering; even in 316, the heavenly state she’s in because Ethan asked her out after the whole "Hope is perfect" speech, indicate that how she can’t believe someone would choose her over Hope. As she never thinks that she can hold a competition against Hope and win. Lizzie’s abandonment issue is minimal because of the presence of Josie, it provides the security in Lizzie’s life, as she is the first choice for Josie.

The abandonment issue is worse for Josie. Even if Josie is Lizzie blind spot, this part of Lizzie is not usually make known of. Josie would feel that she is second choice to everyone, including Lizzie. Like the personal valet that has no needs? Lizzie is just 11, but 11 is an important age in shaping people’s security in a relationship. Josie couldn’t have got much security from all her important relationship, hence the abandonment issues. She always feels helpless in them, afraid to voice her needs, desperately needed recognition from her parents which is probably very few. She needs control but she didn’t know the way to get it, so she got none. The insecurities heighten when it comes to her love life, making her easily provoked if she saw something she didn’t like. Results from the habitual quietness, her way of defending herself and gaining control is to lower her competition, like hurting the girl hitting on Landon, being hostile to Hope. She hated Penelope for abandoning her, she remained control mostly, when provoked, Josie’s abandonment issues and the insecurities in being the second choice were triggered so badly that she set her on fire. The time she did what she need to do, she overdid it, because her dark side needs to compensate what hadn't been done to protect oneself and tend to the needs – to balance out the imbalance. As she loses more control over the issue while desperately wants to suppress the need of control, the polarity in her keeps worsening and the dark side of her keeps surfacing.

This is why Josie is written to embrace and take care of herself, tend to her needs, like her never need to better herself. Lizzie is written to constantly better herself when she seems like a better person than Josie. Josie’s issues root from years of neglecting her needs, while Lizzie has years of habit of ignorance on how to care when she does care. Therefore, Josie taking care of herself = bettering herself, providing a balance in her so her mental can be stable even when provoke. If Lizzie cannot construct a good self-image, while getting positive feedback to reassure her self-image disparity, she can never overcome her personality disorder. Hence bettering herself to meet her own needs.

Their behaviours as presented are cultivated and shaped by each other under the unhealthy circumstances of their household. It is not logical to only accuse of one twin regarding their behaviours to each other without bringing the other twin and their parents into consideration.

@legacies-supremacy I still remember our twins dynamic discussion, I hope this bring my response as a whole. Btw, you kind of said that in 106, Josie tell Lizzie to go to their party without her several times and Lizzie waited for her? It's not true.

Regarding the whole situation, Josie spent all her time helping Lizzie get ready. When Lizzie is done, she said, "You’re not even dressed, I don’t want to be late on my own party." Josie said, "I’m done, I’ll catch up with you, okay?" Then Lizzie take off to the party and enter without Josie without question. After wearing the talisman, Penelope appeared. She expresses her desire to continue to make Lizzie uncomfortable or unhappy or angry. Josie wanted Penelope to ease up on Lizzie. Penelope said, "You have crawled so far down the codependence rabbit hole that you think taking care of yourself is selfish. Party starts in five. It’s a shame you spent all of that time helping Lizzie get ready." When Josie was dressed, she needed someone to help her braid, so for once she try something out of desire, she goes to Josette Laughlin. When Josette asked her whether Josie will be late to her own party, Josie said, "no one will notice". She expressed her thought that if Lizzie knew about her crush on Rafael too, the situation will look bad, so she kept silent.

During the party, Lizzie immediately enjoyed herself with MG. They had flirty moves with each other (i think). Once the soft music set in, she immediately changed partner. Penelope was the only one that notice Josie was no where to be seen (meanwhile Josie was getting buried alive). While Alaric encountered Hope to save Josie, Penelope is still the only one actively searching for Josie without request. After Hope met with MG and Penelope, the three of them started saving Josie together. Meanwhile Rafael told Lizzie the truth that he still hadn't moved on. Lizzie seemed like she was starting to melt down, and started asking for Josie. Hope, Penelope and MG saved Josie without Lizzie.

It is what it is, and I'm not blaming Lizzie. The whole getting buried alive thing just kind of enhanced Josie's feeling bad of getting what she desired. I kind of remember that she said that for once she listened to people urging her to pursue her desires and it ended up getting herself buried. Then Penelope like rewarded her with a kiss.