#It's part of why he's so immature I think. Hes so used to being either perceived and treated as a child or a threat

[alhavaradawnstar]

nađis is gonna hate twink death so much. I think being a vampire for so long convinced him he was gonna be young forever

[pineapplerightsideupcake]

So.. I'm confused about something. If your beliefs in radical feminism say that trans people aren't valid in their feelings of being trans, what's stopping you from making bisexual people not part of the LGB? B stands for bisexual. What if their sexuality is just a phase? What if they are *actually* just heterosexual? For that matter what's stopping you from excluding YOURSELF from the community? At some point, you can't exclude any more people from a space that wasn't supposed to be gatekept to begin with! -Vero of CFC

You people always use that word “valid”. It’s absolutely meaningless post modern nonsense. Trans people feel that despite having a male or female body, their feelings about it change reality. I’m not telling trans people how they feel. Because you’re right, I can’t know that. What I’m telling them is that their feelings don’t change their bio sex. I’m telling them their feelings don’t supersede the rights and dignity of women. That’s not at all the same thing as being same sex attracted.

If I tell you that I am attracted to both men and women you can believe me or not. It doesn’t change my sexuality. You can’t know how I personally experience sexual attraction. But if I tell you I’m an Olympic Figure Skater, that’s something external and material. That’s something that either is or isn’t. And it doesn’t matter how true I want it to be.

This isn’t about people being invalid or valid. It isn’t about telling others I know better than them how they feel. It’s me telling them that their feelings don’t change material reality.

And we don’t get to sidestep reality because language is limited and imprecise. We create words to express ideas and categorize things so we don’t have to start every conversation from the ground up. Think of the quote “a rose by any other name”. The word ‘rose’ is made up but the flower it refers to exists in the material world. And you and everyone on earth could declare a rose a tulip but as long as people needed to specify they’d find a way to invent the word rose again. It’s why every 3 years your movement declares old terms verboten. MtF and FtM got used until people got mad it didn’t erase the reality of bio sex and people just used those terms in place of “male and female”. Then the same thing happened with AFAB and AMAB. Now we’re onto TME and no one knows what anyone is talking about because at the end of the day, people are male or female and no amount of “validation” or the right words erases that reality.

I am bisexual because I am attracted to both men and women. Lesbians are women exclusively attracted to women. Gay men are men exclusively attracted to men. Straight people are exclusively attracted to the opposite sex. The LGB community formed because the thing we had in common- same sex attraction- is punished in most societies. It absolutely was designed to gatekeep. It was a civil rights movement- not a secret club house. The LGB have no more moral responsibility to admit opposite sex attracted people than black activists have to include white or Asian people.

“Queer” has nothing to do with it. Demi flux genderoo aroallo fox kin have nothing to do with it. A group of men that believe their internal state of mind makes them literally a woman has nothing to do with it. You people overran a movement for same sex attracted people, convinced everyone to call our community a slur, and demand that we center heterosexual teens too immature for a relationship thinking that makes them the same as a Gay man.

I’m tired of arguing with 19 year olds that read too much mlm fanfiction that having short hair and wearing hoodies from the boys section doesn’t mean they’re gay men. I’m tired of arguing with those same girls that the 45 year old man with pigtails and a pink pinafore sucking his thumb and holding a dolly on social media isn’t a brave woman defying The Man. He’s just a pervert.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

love is embarrassing

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

a.n. i can't be blamed for this. i swear, this is the last part. (but like, i also reserve the right to do another one if the mood strikes). i just have so much fun writing these two.

bad idea right? | get him back! | love is embarrassing

you loved romance. you loved reading it. you loved watching a good rom com. you loved the idea of love.

you just wish someone would have told you how embarrassing it all was. love is embarrassing. plain and simple. it’s humiliating. and no movie, no book, no past relationship ever prepared you for how much you were willing to embarrass yourself for bucky barnes.

no one prepared you for hearing that tired sigh and watching your friends roll their eyes. every single time without fail.

“we broke up.”

“we’re back together.”

“we’re just keeping it casual.”

“i love him.”

“i hate him.”

bucky barnes had literally driven you to the brink of madness. then reeled you back in. then pushed you head first over the cliff. and as much as you wanted to hate him for it, you know you've done the exact same thing to him too.

something about the two of you, whether together or broken up, turned to usually level headed, composed agents into immature, borderline insane people.

dignity, both yours and his, was no longer a consideration in your relationship.

it was simple, neither of you had any left.

not when you kept falling into each other's beds and arms over and over again.

and in spite of all of this, in spite of all the embarrassment, the moment bucky texts you and asks you to meet him for a coffee, you agree - but only after making him wait several hours for a simple 'okay'.

here you sit before him, sipping on your tea, wondering where the hell your pride went. you were sure you had it right before bucky texted you.

bucky lets out a deep sigh, his hands anxiously rubbing together. "I just - i thought that maybe we should talk. alone. and i didn't want you to think that i was just trying to -"

"hook up?"

he nods, his lips pressed together, "exactly."

"it's not like everyone doesn't already know what's going on between us."

he immediately looks apologetic. you hate that. you hate that deep down, bucky barnes is actually a really good person, just not a great ex-boyfriend.

the real kicker was that he was actually a really great boyfriend, at least, from what you remember. "i should've told you that sam and steve found out."

your shoulders slump in defeat as you acquiesce, "and i should've told you that natasha and wanda found out."

his mouth twists. "so everyone knows, huh?"

"pretty much... does that surprise you?"

"i mean, i guess not. it's not like we were subtle about any of it."

you playfully snort, "no, i guess we weren't."

"why did we break up?"

"you don't remember that huge fight we had?"

"no, i remember that. i remember being really pissed off. i remember saying things that i didn't mean. i just can't remember why i didn't go after you. i can't remember why you didn't come back. and i can't remember why we gave up so easily."

the crazy thing was you could hardly remember what the fight was about. his ego. your temper. conflicting work schedules. the reality was you both blew up that night. "i don't remember either."

"why the hell are we still broken up?"

pride, mostly.

it was always the ugly head that reared itself in your relationship.

you were too proud to admit that you were wrong.

he was too proud to admit that he was wrong.

you were both too proud to be the first one to lay your armor down.

"it’s just..." you start, shaking your head and immediately backtracking, "forget it."

"it’s clearly something," bucky urges.

"it’s embarrassing."

"i promise i won’t give you shit about whatever you say."

"no, bucky, it’s embarrassing..."

his jaw sets to the side, his teeth clicking together. "us? we’re embarrassing? you’re embarrassed to be with me?"

"no! yes! no - it’s - this whole back and forth. if i get back together with you now - which i'm not saying i will - what does that say about me?"

he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "i didn't realize you cared that much about what other people thought of you."

"don't patronize me," you sneer. "you've embarrassed the shit out of me over and over again. forgive me for having some self respect."

"i think i'm falling in love with him," you confess.

"i'm so happy for you!" wanda squeals.

"barnes!" natasha greets him. "we were just talking about you two, so much for being a lone wolf, huh?"

bucky wraps an arm around you, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. he scoffs, "nothing's changed. we're just keeping it casual."

"i've embarassed you?" bucky guffaws. "you're not exactly innocent in this either."

"me?" you gasp. "what the hell did i do to you?"

"i think she's the one," bucky wistfully admits.

sam rolls his eyes. "you've been dating like a month."

"i'm not seeing your point."

"hey, sam," you greet him, making a point to glare at bucky as you pass the two of them on the way to the bar.

"oh shit," sam chuckles. "someone's in trouble."

"what? no i'm not - " bucky's words are cut off by the sight of you flipping him off as you walk away. "i stand corrected."

"you've done plenty," bucky grunts.

"and now, now, all i hear now is everyone's opinion of what they think i should do!" you exclaim. "do you know how humiliating it is to have everyone's opinions of whether or not i should be with you?"

“you’ll never get over him if you’re still under him, if you get what i mean,” nat quips.

you roll your eyes. “you have the subtlety of a brick wall.”

"you were the one that was all over sam at the bar the other night!" he accuses.

"and you were flirting with some random stranger in front of all of our friends!" you shoot back.

"people are staring," bucky points out.

you hang your head. great, you've embarrassed yourself once again in this back and forth with bucky. "i'm just tired of hearing what everyone thinks about this back and forth."

"but what do you think?" he emphasizes. "because, honestly, i'll embarrass myself over and over again if it means i could have you back. just name a time and a place and i'll be there." you're taken aback by bucky's offer. he was a proud man. there was no denying that. and maybe it's the fact that there's nothing but sincerity gleaming in his eyes or the fact that he's willing to give up something he values so much for you. maybe romance isn't dead after all. "or maybe, maybe we just stop. we stop this back and forth. we stop acting like kids, stop trying to get back at each other. we just... love each other without worrying about what everyone else thinks."

"oh fuck," you hiss under your breath as the realization hits you.

"what?"

you don't say anything. you just realized that you're about to embarrass yourself one last time for bucky barnes.

who cares? after all, love is embarrassing.

Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes@beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a@weallhaveadestiny@mostlymarvelgirl @honeydew3064@michealharrypotter @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @withyoutilltheendoftheline @the-photo-hoe @rae-nna @sarachabeans1

[mrinafria]

Is Seon Jae corny?

One of the biggest charms of Lovely Runner for me is how it portrays a romance that is youthful, goofy, foolish and yet touches your heart in the most sensible and mature way possible. It doesn't forget it's a romcom at heart and serves us just that, so going into the show expecting a different genre is just unfair to the show (and yourself because you are the one setting yourself up for disappointment imo).

I'm not a big fan of immature childish romance devoid of any substance but that is not what we see here, despite Seon Jae being 19yo (or 20 or 34 yo). There's youthful anticipation, excitement and emotions but somehow Seon Jae's character (and Im Sol's character too, although she's always been 34yo in the main narrative) manages to transcend the notion of age and time with what he feels for Im Sol, the extent of it and the way he acts when it comes to her. Romance today is calculative and is often done in moderation, which is not necessarily a bad thing, because it is essential to learn to love ourselves too as we love someone special, but for both Im Sol and Seon Jae, loving themselves is also intrinsically connected to loving each other. Im Sol learns to appreciate life through loving Seon Jae, Seon Jae loves Im Sol because he appreciates what life has to offer.

This scene, for instance. I've rambled about this in the past too. It always warms my heart to see how, in all the timelines, he never gives up on life itself due to Im Sol not reciprocating his feelings/not remembering him. The guilt/heartbreak, longing and lovesickness are palpable in all versions of Seon Jae across all timelines but every time, he chooses to move forward in life (despite his heart being stuck in time with his Sol-ah), embracing everything life has to offer him. One of the things that becomes evident pretty early on in Lovely Runner is Seon Jae loves life. He may struggle sometimes but he doesn't think of it as a chore or burden to live on. He has things he cherishes, people he hangs out with, his dreams, aspirations, pain and struggle outside of Im Sol. He is not a pushover, he has stuff going on, he has a life. And he's not someone who'll casually say things like "I'll die for you" to anyone just to impress and get them to date him. Such grand statements don't usually make much of an impact on me as a viewer either but here, it somehow just works? Perhaps because we know he loves his life and wouldn't give it up no matter how hard things get, except for when he, his first and only love, part of his soul, is in crisis--tested by fate and time and death--and he is adamant about not letting it mess with his happiness, just like he wasn't ready to give up swimming despite Im Sol's warnings and his existing injury. That is the only time he'd make an exception: choose to live a short, worthwhile life, than live a long one devoid of any happy memories or love. It is not his childishness. In fact, he is doing what many of us can never, ever do. And perhaps that's why it doesn't sit well with some of the viewers; he complicates how we define love, happiness, fulfillment these days.

And come to think of it, he doesn't really say he'll die for her. He says Even if I die trying to save you, it's okay: it's a sad thing, Sol-ah. it's painful, yes, but it's okay. I might be worried for the remaining 14 years of my life, but that's because I'll have very little time to love you, to be in this feeling, to cherish the moments I make with you. I'll be sad that I won't see my first grey hair with you or be with you in so many of your big milestones in life, but it's okay. I'll try to make the most of whatever we get, now and tomorrow.

His sadness and heartbreak comes not from not being able to live his life to the fullest, but not being able to live his life with her. That exact same sentiment is conveyed by the final 2023 Seon Jae too, who doesn't even remember Im Sol or any of his old timeline versions and yet says the same thing.

The 2009 Seon Jae doesn't say 'I WILL die trying to save you'; he says 'if', there is a conditional. Even when he's aware of the impending doom, he doesn't give up on his life, on the 'if'. The guy with that face that has accepted a death that is yet to come, with eyes brimming with tears, with a heart determined to live hoping for an 'if' until then… when this guy makes such cheesy claims about his love and death, it's no longer an empty exaggerated promise. It hits a lot harder and leaves me momentarily breathless. That claim, stemming from the inherent human instinct to just want to be happy, and that non-calculative, selfless, pure kind of love, is exactly the thing I signed up for. That proclamation—simple, corny—is pain wrapped in momentary happiness, and my heart sinks, thinking just how fast he had to grow up in that short span of moments.

Ryu Seon Jae is like a North Star—he may not shine the brightest, but he shines bright enough in the same way, consistently, in every timeline we see him in. He is the star you could identify even in the sea of a million stars. Because that's how distinct his persona is. He may be corny and a loser, but he is corny and a loser exclusively for Im Sol, not in his life. That's the best kind of corny and loser one could find.

[doppel-doodles]

Why I think Ace Trappola is a great example for teenage immaturity!

-> Ramblings from the perspective of an actual teen!

Something I haven't really seen discussed in the twst fandom in terms of it's writing is how well it handles maturity or the lack there of with it's cast, so allow me to start a discussion by throwing my own two cents in with the character I think embodies teenage immaturity the best: Ace Trappola!

The reason why I think he is a good example for this is because a lot of his character traits make him feel like a teenager without reducing his character to just be that, it's part of his characterisation sure but it's not EVERYTHING.

Like in the way he is actually kinda smart, I know we call him and Deuce the one braincell dou but he's got something other than air up there!

The problem lies with how much of a slacker he is, he doesn't apply himself academically if he did he probably wouldn't have had to make a deal with Azul just saying.

He feels like that one kid in class that somehow still passing without doing any work and barely being there.

And Ace also has some streetsmarts on him as well, he can pull tricks, mask his true intentions or really rile someone up but his tact isn't all that refined making it blow up in his face.

Which is great! Those are traits he uses to be an asshole so why reward that?

Speaking of which: ACE IS SUCH AN ASS!

Like sure we are friends now so obviously he is a lot nicer in-game but how much of a jerk he can be is still on full display, like with his brutal honesty that can be straight up insensitive.

To be honest that also feels like a teen thing because if you’re ever looking to get your ego shattered just ask a high schooler for their opinion.

And you are totally valid for disliking Ace for being like this, they are flaws and not exactly meant to be likeable aspects of his character but they are well written flaws!

I just really wanted to ramble about this because I am tired of characters in a school setting either just being romanticised, reduced to stereotypes or worse it’s obvious whoever wrote them is not a teen and is embarrassingly failing to write them or even wants to make fun of them.

It’s sooooo refreshing to see characters that feel and act their age! And I want to give them more appreciation!

Teenagers are still people and deserve to be three dimensional characters as much as any other character!

[angelwishess]

—⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ THEORY TIME : Crowley Summoned Yuu ?! ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

Before I begin, I’d like to give credit to @cheshiresaf on TikTok for inspiring this theory! Seeing their thoughts on the matter made me want to dive into the topic myself and give my own thoughts and opinions on the matter !

Reminders, this is all just speculation ! I have no concrete proof of any of this being canon in the slightest ! This is just a theory to make some sense of things, or atleast try to.

This theory will be cut into two parts, one focusing on the Opening scene and the second focusing on the Prologue.

Without further ado, lets begin !

Ever since I first downloaded TWST, the opening scene always bothered me. It was never really the scene itself, it was the fact that it was never brought up in the game afterwards.

The closest thing we get to a character acknowledging what happened was Yuu mentioning to Crowley how they remember “Seeing a horse with a scary face” / “Passing through a dark forest” in the prologue.

But after that, its never really brought up again. I had always wondered, ‘Why?’

I waited, played through the game wondering if it would ever be mentioned— But it never was.

Eventually, even I forgot about it. But after seeing that theory on TikTok, my curiosity flared up again.

Now, I was finally able to redownload TWST since I recently just got a new phone. So, I paid much closer attention to the opening scene.

—₊˚⊹ Part One : The Opening “Mirror” Scene.

Ill be talking about these two shots of dialogue first. What interests me is the way Crowley is speaking. Although you can obviously tell it is Crowley, it isnt seem as playful nor as dramatic as he usually speaks. He spoke somewhat more seriously than usual here, and, it seems like hes speaking directly into the mirror— or, more specifically, he is speaking directly to us, as Yuu.

With no one else in the room, Crowley speaks without his dramatic flair, with no room for playfulness. He speaks directly into the dark mirror— speaks directly to the person behind it. The person he knows hes talking to. The one hes trying to summon.

The definition of “Benefactor” is a person who gives money or other help to a person or cause.

Though, its pretty well known that Yuu is always helping around NRC (whether by will or not) and Crowley is almost always the one to take advantage of this— I doubt that is what he is referring to.

No, Crowley knows something. This was all on purpose, Yuu coming to Twisted Wonderland, to Night Raven, it was all on purpose. Ill research more into Crowley later, but for now lets focus on whats being said in the opening scene.

He definetly has plans, and he knows Yuu has more capabilities than what is known so far.

What interested me the most, though, is the wording right after referring to us as his “esteemed benefactor”.

“My proud, beautiful flower of evil”. This one sentence truly had me thinking, because what did he mean by this?

Well, the only thing I could think of is the vague hint that Yuu is much, much more than they seem. When you think about it, Yuu is strange in many ways. Not only do they come from another universe entirely, they get dreams of the past which warn them of future events— directly parelleling Levan/Revan (Malleus’ father).

I wouldnt be surprised if it somehow turned out that Yuu has either had magic this entire time and it just being hidden from everyone in the cast (including themselves), or theyve been absorbing the magic of people around them after being exposed to so much magic, especially from the overblots.

What im thinking, is that the true nature of Yuu and their capabilities is yet to be revealed, and will “bloom”. Just like a proud flower. And, flowers need to be nurtured to bloom ever so beautifully, do they not? Who would be a better fit than Crowley?

Now, Crowley may be somewhat immature and unreliable— But that does not make him stupid, nor does that make him oblivious. Many of the staff respect him greatly, and its a no-brainer that he must be quite powerful. He definetly knows more than he leads on, hes extremely mysterious despite being the first character (after Grim,) to be introduced to us.

Its clear to me that he knows what hes doing. He has plans, whether for better or for worse, and i think its safe to say that those plans include Yuu in some way. Perhaps theyre the final piece of the puzzle Crowley so desperately needs. ← keep that in mind. Hes desperate.

(As for the “evil” part… Man idk leave me alone)

“O magic mirror, thy wisdom I entreat…”

Remember what i said earlier? About Crowley being desperate? Dire, even?

Well, the definition of Entreat is to plead with especially in order to persuade. ask someone earnestly or anxiously to do something.

He is earnestly, pleading the Dark Mirror for answers, for wisdom regarding the “Visage he seeks”.

“Reveal onto me the visage I seek…” Once more, this further proves that Crowley is speaking and seeking out someone specifically. He is seeking out the visage, the face and appearance of the benefactor he is requesting for.

“You, whose image the Dark Mirror did beckon forth…”

Here, Crowley once again speaks directly to us/Yuu. Later on in the Prologue, when the Dark Mirror states that no dorm could possibly suit us/Yuu because our soul is “empty and colorless” due to the lack of magic, Crowley objects, saying that its impossible for the Dark Mirror to summon a student without any magic, as the system has never once erred from the beginning of NRC being established.

(Crowley ure not slick i know what u are)

So, in NRC’s 100 years of being established, why would it’s seemingly very stable system of retrieving students fail? How would the Black Carraige retrieve a student from an entire different universe, putting aside the simple fact of Yuu not having magic? Well, its simple.

The Dark Mirror did not summon Yuu. Crowley did.

Crowley was the one to bring Yuu into this world. The Dark Mirror did not beckon forth Yuu for the sake of the school, rather it was because Crowley requested for it, for whatever reasons he has.

(Alright, now this is where i will be getting into some delusional territory but i will try to remain as logical as possbile pls have mercy on me ໒꒰ྀིっ⸝⸝⸝ ꒱ྀི১)

This scene has always bothered me. Not in like, an uncomfortable way— but ever since first downloading the game, I have always wondered what this scene meant.

“If your heart bids it, take the hand of the one reflected in the mirror.”

Although Crowley is obviously the one summoning us— it is not his hand extended out to us. Rather, it is one of the characters we meet later on. (The sleeves are quite obviously the ceremonial robes, too)

To take the hand of the one reflected into the mirror… Why is that? Why do we need to take someone’s hand? And, furthermore— the hand of a specific character? Though it is a clever way to introduce the cast of characters and give us our first card of our chosen character— why this way if it doesn’t have any significance in the game other than to serve as a “baby’s first card!” scene? We already have the later free gacha, so what was the point?

(I may be overthinking this guys someone help me)

Ive always been curious, since the game never seems to mention this part, and in none of the mangas they have never shown this, either. So, whats the purpose of it?

My guess is that Crowley himself cant summon us himself. Though Crowley must be powerful— summoning someone from an entirely different universe must be difficult, almost impossible seeing as this has probably never happened before.

See, no matter who you are or how poweful you are, I have no doubt summoning someone from a different universe is an incredibly strenuous feat that near no one average could ever do. To break past the bonds of reality, and peer into another, that is something that is beyond imaginiation.

So, what if us taking the hand of our chosen character was the last nail in the coffin for us? The last thing needed for us to be brought into Twisted Wonderland.

To establish a connection.

“If your heart bids it,” why else would you take the hand of a complete stranger? One that mysteriously appeared before you in an extremely strange situation, you can’t even see their face in this scene. Yet, we still take their hand. Why? I couldn’t think of any other explanation other than an already existing connection between us and the character that we chose. Why else would your heart tell you to trust?

Now, i have absolutely zero proof of this being true, its mostly just a little guess, a situation i like to daydream about but hey, its better than nothing.

Anyways, what if Crowley needed the assistance of one of the characters to finally bring us into Twisted Wonderland? Yes, as i mentioned before he is alone in the room when speaking to us— but perhaps theres some ‘magical’ explanation to the figures of our beloved characters standing before us and not Crowley himself, despite him actually being there.

My guess is, that Yuu and whoever they chose have a strange connection. And i dont exactly mean this as strictly romantic, it could be platonic or hell, even more than both of those bonds (maybe even hatred LMAO)— but im talking about a bond and a connection that somehow transcends the borders of realities and their universe itself. They would not be aware of this— neither would Yuu. But it is there. Perhaps its a kind of “soulmate” situation (once again, i do not mean this strictly romantically, you may interpret this however you please!!)

This furthers my suspicions that Yuu needs that connection with your chosen character in order to be brought into their world.

The sound of dragging chains could be somewhat like symbolism or a physical embodiment for Yuu being tied down to their original world. A last effort of their universe to keep them there, but yet Yuu fights against them and is “freed” from those chains after taking the hand of our chosen character.

Only when you take the hand of the character you chose are you able to start the game, both literally and figuratively. (I like to imagine the characters js pull Yuu in after they take their hand i think its funny HAHAHAHA)

The mirrors and coffins at NRC are used as gateways. But it seems Yuu is the only one who needed that extra help to actually be sent into NRC through said gateways. Yuu needs that law-defying, reality bending connection with one of the characters to be able to even step foot into their world. And honestly? I think its super cute HEHEHEE🤭 (fanfic writers, feel free to use this i live to serve content)

(Unfortunately, I have hit the photo limit here. So, I’ll have to settle for typing out all the dialog for the lasst few screenshots ! So please bare with me ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა !)

────୨ৎ────

“As flame reduces even the stars to ash

As ice seals away even time itself

As great trees swallow even the sky

Fear not the power of darkness.

Now— demonstrate your power.”

────୨ৎ────

In the next views of dialogue, Crowley is obviously foreshadowing to the kinds of magic the player will have to get used to during battle scenes— but what interests me is the very last part of the dialog. The last thing Crowley says before the mirror brightly flashes and the game sends us into our first battle against the overblot Grim.

“Now— demonstrate your power.”

Yuu is magicless, so what power could he be referring to? This could be taken both literally and figuratively, as “power” is not only strength, it can come in many forms, and Yuu has obviously shown to be quite cunning themself, and that could be considered a power.

But, what if Yuu DOES have powers, in a literal sense? What if that power has been secretly sleeping inside of Yuu this entire time, waiting for the right moment to burst forth and bloom like a flower? Their power could be much more than just being a peacemaker or a beast tamer, who knows?

────୨ৎ────

“To me. To them. To yourself.

The hour grows long and time is scarce.”

“Keep steady your grip, no matter what may come…”

────୨ৎ────

This final piece of dialog paired with the earlier “As ice seals away even time itself” statement from when Crowley was speaking of the elemental forms of magic, it really does feel like its hinting at a time loop.

Perhaps that is why Crowley had summoned them, and why he seems to not be even trying to look for a way to send them home. Not just because hes “lazy”, but he very well may have a plan for Yuu. He is purposefully trying to keep Yuu in NRC.

Maybe he is aware of this timeloop, and out of desperation seeks out the wisdom of the Dark Mirror, trying to find a way to put a stop to it— and who better than Yuu to be that final piece he needs? His dear, esteemed benefactor… His fair, beautiful flower ready to be extorted for whatever purpose he had summoned them for.

Nothing is a coincidence. Everything happens for a purpose, good or bad. And Yuu just happens to be in the middle of every messy situation that happens at NRC.

“For them”, who is “them”? The one whose hand we took? Or perhaps the friends we meet later on? Whatever i means, its obvious theres a certain danger lurking in the shadows that has not made itself known. Atleast, not yet. And for some odd reason, it is up to us to “show our power” and keep it from happening. (If it has something to do with Grim, maybe that “Beast Tamer” title was hinting to that all along lol)

“Time is scarce.” An absolutely chilling line that is never really explained. Time has always been an element that seemed infinite, yet in some cases thats still too little. Time is something no one can have enough of, no matter who they are. Yet what does it mean in this context? Why is our time running out, and furthermore what are we trying to prevent? For Crowley? For them, for our friends… And for us? I’m sure Crowley himself must know, if he didn’t why would he be asking the universe to bring him a helper so desperately?

“Keep steady tour grip, no matter what may come…” This, paired along with the earlier dialog of “Fear not the power of darkness,” could be foreshadowing the later overblots that we face in the game. Crowley knows that we will face hardships, and says to keep steady our grip. To not let the darkness consume us or our friends. To not fear the “darkness“. Crowley could be aware of the challenges we are to face, not even bothering to help in the midst of Riddle’s overblot (very responsible of you, Headmaster). Almost as if he expected it?

That is the final line of dialog from Crowley before the Prologue actually begins.

And now, speaking of the prologue, lets talk about some dialog from Crowley in the actual prologue!

—₊˚⊹ Part Two : The Prologue

“Ah, I’ve found you at last. Splendid.”

Crowley’s wording here, “I found you at last.” Is pretty sus, he speaks like hes been keeping out an eye for a specific someone. And the fact that he went out of his way to find Yuu is also pretty telling. After all, from what we know of Crowley its obvious that hes not the type to do that kind of thing. If Yuu was just any other student, Im sure Crowley wouldn’t have gone out of his way to look for them for the sake of the ceremony.

Furthermore, judging by his tone and expression, he doesn’t seem very surprised to find a student where they aren’t supposed to be. Yet he playfully mentions that most other students usually wait for him to open the lids of their caskets before running off. Making Yuu differ from the rest of the student body once more.

Later on in the prologue, we have the infamous “Deuce throwing Ace at the chandelier” scene. (I giggle everytime I hear Ace’s scream. Its so funny i cant)

When Crowley comes over and discovers that our little group had broken the chandelier and expels us, Ace tries to reason with Crowley saying that surely, he must be able to fix the chandelier himself with some fancy pants magic.

“Even magic has its limits.”

If Crowley can’t fix a magical chandelier without it having any circumstances— Then surely there must be some very… Specific conditions when summoning a person, let alone one from another universe.

Magic itself is limited in certain scenarios. Later on, Deuce mentions that if you can’t strongly visualize your magic, it isn’t going to happen.

Which must be why Crowley went to the Dark Mirror for wisdom. “Reveal onto me the visage I seek,”

It could be that Crowley himself didn’t exactly know what form or appearance his dear benefactor would take, and because of that could not properly ‘visualize’ who he is seeking out. Out of desperation, he seeks out the Dark Mirror for wisdom to finally be able to summon this benefactor he desires so greatly, and it just so happens Yuu fits that role perfectly.

After the fiasco at rhe Dwarfs’ Mine, Yuu, Grim, and the Adeuce duo all return back to NRC safely and recap the story of their little journey to Crowley in the privacy of his office where he promptly bursts into tears after.

He begins to ramble about how the students of NRC, as talented as they are, have egos bigger than mt. Everest and this is the first time in his decades of working at NRC where the students have finally joined hands to defeat a common foe.

“I am convinced that people like you are necessary for the future of this school.”

This line of dialog caught my interest greatly. Though he was already going on and on about how Yuu’s “mundanity” is great for the students of this school— for some reason this line simply seemed to stand out to me.

“People like you”? But, there has never been a magicless student at NRC before Yuu, atleast as far as we know. Could this possibly hint to the Yuuniverse? People like you being the countless of other Yuus that were summoned in a past timeline— perhaps each one restarting after the last Yuu fails, and Crowley summons another in an attempt to stop the constant loop of each timeline resetting after every calamity that falls upon NRC.

Perhaps Yuuken failed during Leona’s overblot, and that is why he’s replaced by Yuuka in the Savanaclaw manga volumes? Maybe Yuuka failed during Azul’s, then Yuuta was summoned forth? And then so on, so forth.

Perhaps that is why Crowley is so desperate. Continuing to try and summon the perfect benefactor, the right flower to nurture in hopes that they would survive and deal with each and every calamity accordingly, in order to stop the timeloop.

Why he doesn’t get off his lazy ass and help Yuu himself? Who knows, I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt and say theres a completely understandable reason of him not helping the students hes supposed to be protecting— but then again, it is Crowley. You really never know with him.

Right after he accepts Grim and Yuu as students, he immediately foists upon another job for Yuu. Gifting them a Ghost Camera, which captures the Memories of the photos taken by the photographer.

The photographer and the subject are then considered “Soulbound”, which apparently just means that when the photographer and the subject’s bond deepens, the Memories captured in the photos come “jumping out”. Crowley says it enables the user to not only photograph the subject, but parts of their soul itself.

(I want to relate this to the part where we take the hand of our chosen character but i cant think of anything so …)

He then tells Yuu to take the camera, and make a record of their campus life. But why Yuu, specifically? And only Yuu? Surely, he could’ve given such an object to the Housewarden of each respective dorm— yet he gives it to Yuu and Yuu alone. As if he knows that they’d get involved in all sorts of trouble, face the unthinkable. And he brushes it off saying how much more convenient it would be instead of documenting everything himself, but how could he be so sure that Yuu would come across such events?

“As a prefect, consider it your duty to maintain a sharp eye on your surroundings and record them.”

Yuu and Yuu alone has been given full freedom to mettle in whichever dorm they see fit and “beast tame” them. They do not have the restriction of the Housewardens, where they only keep an eye strictly on their dorm and dorm mates. No, Yuu has been given full and complete freedom to keep an eye and ensure that everyone is in line regardless of their dorm due to Crowley’s blessing upon Yuu to do just that.

While Housewardens are only limited to their respective dorms, Yuu is allowed to discipline and punish whoever they see fit regardless of which dorm they belong to.

It is because Yuu is magicless that they alone have this privledge of overseeing every dorm— even being able to tell off the Housewardens themselves.

It is because Crowley has given them this role that Yuu is constantly faced with so many challenges from each dorm as a result of their meddling.

He pushes them to meddle in the business of other dorms, making it their “duty” as a prefect (A job that he forced unto them). In a way, this is isn’t just Crowley extorting Yuu into looking after the students instead of him despite it being his job and not theirs, perhaps it is him also trying to ‘nurture’ Yuu. Putting them into these situations, in hopes that they allow Yuu to unlock their true potential and stop the timeline from resetting.

It is because of their job as a prefect that they get into these situations. And it is because of this meddling that they face such challenges. Yet, they wouldn’t have had to if Crowley just didn’t appoint them as “Prefect”. (Well, I suppose Ace was the one that started it— but shh lets ignore that for now!)

Thats all the dialog that stuck out to me for the Prologue.

—₊˚⊹ Conclusion !

In conclusion, I think that Yuu was not brought to Twisted Wonderland by mistake, but on purpose by none other than Crowley himself.

Perhaps each character has their own “Yuu”, and that connection between a character and their Yuu was what enabled Crowley to bring them into their world.

With each Yuu failing at a calamity / overblot, the timeline resets and Crowley summons another Yuu to try again to stop the timeloop, hence the Yuuniverse.

Crowley alone remembers every reset, perhaps not all of it which is why he has given Yuu the Ghost Camera in hopes that the Memories in the camera remain. But, he is aware that the timeline resets every time a Yuu fails— yet it is only a Yuu that can stop the calamities due to the mystery of their true nature.

Yuu is Crowley’s “esteemed benefactor”, the one summoned specifically to aid Crowley in his agenda, whatever it may be. Yuu was brought to NRC to assist him, and Crowley seeks to nurture Yuu until the time their true powers are revealed.

Crowley was desperate to summon Yuu. And it seems the worst is yet to come, and for that reason he summoned Yuu.

With Yuu’s mysterious background and even more mysterious ability to see the past through their dreams— Yuu must have some sort of secret power. The true nature of their being, perhaps they themselves have some sort of magic, or are destined for something great. Whatever it may be, Yuu is not a normal, everyday person. Though they are magicless, that does not make them average at all.

To summarize: With every calamity that falls upon NRC, the timeline resets to the night before the Opening Ceremony. Crowley, being the only one who retains any memory of every reset, desperately seeks out the Dark Mirror in search of wisdom, and a benefactor who can help him and the rest of NRC and finally end the loop. That benefactor being Yuu. Yet, because of the limits on magic— it is difficult to summon such a person, let alone the right one. Conveniently enough, there are a select few of students who have some sort of connection with the one Crowley may be looking for (ex. Yuuken paralleling Riddle, Yuuta paralleling Azul, ect.), and it is because of that law-defying connection that Crowley is able to summon each of their respective Yuu’s.

Yuu’s true abilities have not yet been revealed, and still remain veiled in mystery. But, Yuu may have powers of some sort, or a destiny that they are to fulfil. One greater than they can imagine.

— Phew! That was a lot, wasn’t it ? Sorry, I didn’t expect it to be so long ! (Thats what she said)

Anyways, if you’re still here and managed to make it to the end— Thank you so much for reading my little yap session !!! I appreciate it, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic !

If I got anything wrong, please feel free to correct me! After all, I don’t have the best memory and I may be remembering things wrong. But once again, thank you so much for reading !

Don’t forget to drink water, and take care of yourself, pretty ! See you next time, bye-bye!~ ♡

[mellowsadistic]

Changing Her Hobbies

Your girlfriend may well have some hobbies and interests that you don't approve of. Perhaps you're worried being into football is making her hang out with the wrong crowd, or maybe you think chess is just too grown-up for a silly little thing like her. Whatever the case, the solution is simple. Just tell her she doesn't like those things anymore, and give her a new list of things she likes to do in their place.

Be firm, as she's likely to get very fussy over this. She might complain that she's the only real authority on herself, or insist that it's impossible for her to start liking something just because you've ordered her to. If that happens, just spank her bare bottom over your knee and remind her that you're her Daddy and you know best. Enforce her new hobbies with a strict discipline program and she'll soon learn to engage in them with a smile.

I promise you the results are worth it. I know a man who used this strategy to radically alter his girlfriend’s personality. He loved her very much, but he was sick and tired of her bad attitude and refusal to accept her place as his inferior. He put it down to the kind of activities she liked to take part in, so with a firm hand and a bit of patience, he changed them to better reflect her immature nature. Here’s a before and after of her hobbies:

Things she used to like:

Playing guitar

Reading classic literature

Trying on stylish clothes

Going clubbing with her friends

Having debates about politics

Playing hockey

Going out for romantic dinners

Things she likes now:

Playing with dolls

Watching Disney channel

Running around naked

Doing the housework

Wetting herself for attention

Practicing ballet

Sucking cock under the table

It was a difficult transition for her. She’d always been a bit of a tomboy, so it wasn’t easy for her to adjust to playing with Barbies and prancing about in a tutu. It wasn’t easy to get used to stripping off all her fashionable clothes and going streaking around the house in the nude periodically either, like a toddler with no concept of modesty. Nor was she keen to spend her time watching TV aimed at tweens when she wasn’t scrubbing the floors, making dinner, or doing the laundry. It was especially hard for her to learn that she liked to give frequent blowjobs (she insisted she hated them for the longest time), and she was in complete denial about her desire to regularly pee her pants for attention. However, with enough corrective punishment, she eventually learned to accept her true self.

These days she pouts at the suggestion of going out partying, but bounces up and down with excitement at the thought of mopping the floor. She has no desire to play guitar, and reading anything more advanced than a picture book would bore her to tears, but she can happily spend the whole afternoon glued to her favourite cartoons or prattling away at her baby doll, rocking it in her arms and changing its nappy (and hoping Daddy doesn’t follow through on his threat to put her in nappies because of all the ‘accidents’ she’s been having). She never talks about politics anymore, partly because she has no idea what’s going on in the world since her Daddy banned her from reading the news, and getting involved in rough and tumble sports like hockey would just be silly for a sweet little pirouetting princess like her. It’s much more fun to put on ballet performances for Daddy and her dollies. Modelling the latest trends is a thing of the past for her too; in fact, it’s a struggle to keep any kind of clothes on her since she’s always wanting to be Daddy’s little nudist - why wear a cute pair of jeans when she could just go bare-bottomed instead? And why would she want to go out to a fancy restaurant for a romantic meal when she could just serve Daddy his dinner herself before crawling under the table to suck his dick while he eats?

Sometimes she slips up. She looks bored while playing with her dolls, or casts a longing look at a guitar in the window display of a music store. She might go too long without wetting herself or forget to smile while she's doing the polishing. When that happens, her boyfriend is always quick to reacquaint her bottom with his hand, or even the paddle. A 'fake it till you make it' policy is important to enforce here. Make your girlfriend pretend to enjoy her new hobbies, and eventually, over time, she'll learn to like them for real. And if not, don't worry, because you won't know the difference!

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

A Chance - Part 3**

Ugh took forever! I've been so busy with work but it's up! This little series will have one final part which is already in the works! Read the rest of the series here!

Warnings: workplace drama/gossip, verbal confrontations/discussions, mentions of sexually explicit things, rejection, bad friends, aaaaaaand A BIG FAT SAUCY SMOOCH!

WC: 8.7K

It was Monday again and you were not ready for the work week to start. Despite the lovely time you had with Harry on Saturday morning, you were feeling preoccupied that an inevitable run in with Destiny or Carmen would anger you once again after you’d decided to just get over it. Your paths hardly ever crossed, but now knowing their malevolent nature, you hoped you wouldn’t have to deal with them in a social setting ever again. You didn’t plan to confront them about what they’d said or anything like that, you’d worked through it on your own over the weekend. And you could be professional and interact as needed for work, but outside of that, you wouldn’t be caught where they were. And since you’d shared your concerns with Adam and Harry, you trusted that you wouldn’t have to endure any social events with them in a small group setting ever again. They wouldn’t put you in that situation again and that was enough of a resolution for you. However, when you arrived at your building and hurried into the elevator in the parking structure, you felt your stomach sink as you saw Destiny approaching and step in wordlessly. You were sure you were just imagining the tension between you two until she cleared her throat and turned to face you. 

“Look Y/N, I’m not sure what you think you heard Carmen and I talking about over the weekend but it wasn’t you.” She said matter of factly. You wanted to roll your eyes and tell her that you heard them saying your name, but just stayed quiet as you continue looking at your shoes, “Hey!” She raised her voice a bit and you sighed and glanced up. “Stop pretending like you didn’t go and cry about it to Adam! He told us what you said and said we better apologize to you!” She complained, “And he said that now he and Harry don’t want to be friends with us again because they think we’re shitty people!” She accused you and you frowned. “You literally ruined my night with Harry! He didn’t even tell me he was leaving! If you have a problem with something I’m doing don’t go behind my back and make other people fight your battles for you, Y/N. It’s immature.” She said spitefully.

“Honestly, I don’t know why Adam thought to confront you and Carmen about any of this. I didn’t ask him to get involved. I heard you and Carmen say, with my own two ears, that no one wanted me out with you guys on Friday night, don’t pretend you didn’t say it. After hearing that I just decided to go home, because I can read social cues, unlike you two believe. Adam was being persistent about me staying out the rest of the night and that’s why I shared with him what I heard you two saying, because I shouldn’t have to be out with people who don’t want me around. Who think I’m a freak for having different tastes in entertainment. Who think I’m condescending every time I open my mouth. Who think I’m a basic dresser that no one likes and should’ve stayed home form the start.” You repeated what she had said and her angry expression wavered as she fought off a frown of shame.

“Look, I really don’t have a problem with you or with Carmen, despite what Adam may have said or led you to think. I wasn’t even going to bring this up to either of you ever! If I wanted to discuss it, I would’ve waited for you two to leave the stalls and deal with it then and there because unlike you two, I’m a forthright person. Clearly, I have no problem saying what I think.” You informed her and she refused to look you in the eye. “Yeah, you were a jerk and it hurt my feelings at the time but I realized that you behavior is not an issue I can fix, not matter what I say. That’s all you, Destiny. Why you feel entitled to judge people you don’t know and treat them that way, I have no idea! All I know is that after that experience with you, I knew I just wouldn’t want to interact with you socially again…yet, here we are.” You stated dryly and she looked absolutely stunned as the doors opened to the lobby of your building. When she didn’t say anything you stepped forward and she moved out of your way to let you pass.

“Hey,” you appealed to her and she finally looked up at you with tearful eyes, “I’m not going to be a bitch to you at work because of this, we have shit to do, you know? But I need you to realize that no one has made me feel that badly about myself since I was thirteen years old.” You informed her and she swallowed thickly, “Truly a dark time in my history.” You added with a small, sad smile. “However, I’m too grown for that juvenile mean girl shit. I hope one day you can realize that you are too.” You said and she inhaled shakily to prevent herself from sobbing.

You just hurried on by and went to the next set of elevators only to see her running across the lobby into the bathrooms down here. You hadn’t meant to make her cry, you didn’t even think you’d been rude, but she was locked away in the bathroom now balling her eyes out. This is why you were never even going to confront the situation head on. But Adam and his meddling…a new heaviness was weighing on your chest about it. But you had already confronted Destiny, so you wondered if it was even worth confronting Adam about this. But the more you thought about it the more you decided that this was an opportunity to draw a boundary on what was acceptable of him and what wasn’t. And then it hit you like a ton of bricks that on Friday night it sounded like he was going to confess having feelings for you.

You suddenly didn’t feel equipped to have that conversation with him. Once you got to your floor you trudged over to your cubicle wary of Adam. Thankfully, when you got to your area it was pretty quiet so you assumed he wasn’t in yet and closed your sliding door behind you and settled in. Obviously, he could peer over the divider if he really wanted to talk to you, but he typically respected your space when your door was closed. 

“Hey Y/N!” You heard moments later and glanced up from your screen to see him peering over the divider. He greeted you first seeing as you hadn’t even thought he was in yet.

“Hi.” You greeted with a polite smile.

“You look very nice today.” He complimented you, though there was nothing different about how you did yourself up or dressed on this particular day. 

“Really? I look how I…always do.” You said with an awkward chuckle and he shrugged.

“I don’t know, just…something looks different to me, I guess.” He said and you hummed, mentally deciding if you were going to have a discussion with him about him intervening with Destiny and Carmen or not. “How’s your morning been?” He asked and you took that as your cue to bring up the situation with Destiny.

“Ummm…weird actually.” You said and he hummed and nodded, indicating that you continue. “Destiny approached me in the parking garage-”

“Oh thank god! I told her how upset you were at her and that she needed to apologize for the things she was saying about you with Carmen. You didn’t deserve that from them. They don’t even know you! You know? But I made it clear to them how you and everyone else feels about what they did to you and that she needed to make things right with you.” He said and you sighed.

“Well…she actually started berating me over what you asked of her because she thinks that I ruined her chances with Harry by telling you what they had said about me. She thinks I asked you to go and make her apologize to me, that I was too scared to fight my own battles or something like that.” You sighed with annoyance and he rolled his eyes.

“Well you know it’s not like that.”

“I know that. However, I also didn’t give you permission to communicate anything on my behalf, Adam.” You explained and he frowned in confusion.

“Look, I just wanted to help smooth things over.”

“I know that you meant to do good but I think you created a situation for me which…was uncomfortable.” You said and he scoffed, “I’m not saying that to be a dick, but it’s the truth. There was nothing to smooth over, you know? I hardly even interact with them for work! Either way, I corrected the narrative, assured her I didn’t ask anything of you because honestly, if it were up to me I just wouldn’t have even given it that much effort. I just wanted to move on. Those people aren’t my friends…so while it stung in the moment, I decided not to give it or them more of my energy. Like I told you that same night. I don’t need to prove anything to them so long as I feel good about the decisions I make for myself. And you…took that closure from me.” You said and he shook his head.

“I’m sorry you feel that way about someone sticking up for you.” He said lowly and with a hint of disdain.

“I didn’t ask you to do that!”

“You shouldn’t have to! If someone cares about you they try and make things better for you. That’s all I wanted to do. It wasn’t even my fault that happened! Harry invited Destiny along! So if anyone should’ve been the one to try and resolve this it’s him! But apparently he hasn’t even spoken to Destiny since.” He pointed out and you sighed.

“Harry did reach out and cleared the air with me the very next day.” You shared with Adam.

“Oh…well, it didn’t seem like he was going to and I know how you feel about him to begin with so…” he trailed off.

“I told you already, Harry and I are good.” You assured him. “I just…really would’ve appreciated it if you checked with me first before making claims about how I’m feeling about things to other people. I don’t need help confronting issues, you know that. I also know that on Friday night my feelings were very hurt, so I get why you maybe felt you needed to step in, but now these girls think I have some beef with them and that I’m rallying others up against them and it’s complicated everything.” You explained your frustration. “Again, I appreciate what your intentions but just…ask before you speak for me next time. Please?” You asked.

“Sure.” He huffed before stepping down and getting back to his desk. You frowned but decided to just give him space.

****************

Harry had been a little late and he had an important review article to finish writing so he went straight to his desk and got to work. He did text you that he was running late because he was hoping to grab coffee with you, but then just texted back that he’d catch up with you later on, which you had liked and that was that. After an hour he was done and just needed to do his first edit, he was about to get into zone for the editing bit when Adam peeked in.

“Hey man, you got a few minutes?” Harry glanced up and looked at the time for a before nodding.

“Ummm, sure. You alright?” He asked as Adam stepped into his cubicle and slid the door closed before plopping down in the seat across from Harry and groaning quietly. It looked like he was battling with himself for a minute before he leaned forward, the conflicted expression still on his face.

“I like Y/N and I think I really fucked it up with her.” He whispered to Harry.

“Oh…” Harry expressed. A little confused at Adam’s apprehension in sharing this with him. Adam sighed and shook his head, clearly feeling shy about confessing this and Harry smiled a bit.

“Don’t make fun…I know she’s…a little bit much at times but-”

“Whoa! No, I meant “Oh” as in like “that’s it?”. You just seemed really…conflicted about what you were going to say.” Harry explained quietly.

“Well yeah, I am…I didn’t know how you would react to that information. Because well, again, Y/N is just…a little different than the people I typically go for.” He explained and Harry was getting more and more annoyed at the way Adam was sharing this. Almost as if he felt embarrassed that he was into you. “Anyway…I…didn’t heed your warning about confronting Destiny and Carmen.” He explained and Harry tutted. “Apparently she made a a big fuss at Y/N and didn’t even apologize to Y/N like I hoped she would!” he explained, “And I can tell Y/N is trying not to be upset at me…but like…I don’t get it! I mean I was trying to stand up for her, you know? Defend her. Show her that I…could be that for her, you know?” He explained lowly.

“Well…maybe she’s just not that kind of person that expects a partner to…treat her like a damsel in distress. Confrontation is not something she struggles with, you know?” Harry said and Adam nodded.

“Right…how do I fix this?”

“Apologize for overstepping.” Harry said right away. He had no idea why he was helping Adam with you though. He needed to ask you if you were fine with telling Adam about you two because he didn’t feel comfortable with this set up.

“Here’s the thing…I’m not sorry for it because I had good intentions. And I don’t want to apologize when I don’t mean it.” He said and Harry shrugged.

“Then I don’t know, mate.” 

“What if I get her something? To like make up for it?”

“Well personally, that seems like you’re just trying to distract or brush your mistake under the rug.”

“For fuck’s sake…why is she so complicated?”

“I don’t think she is at all.” Harry chuckled, “Y/N is…very obvious and straightforward. Yeah, she can be a little cranky, but it’s part of her charm.” Harry said with an easy smile.

“You really find it charming? After all the times she brushed you off?” Adam asked.

“Yeah, I really do. Now that I understand her better.” He explained and Adam hummed.

“You seem to understand her really well for someone who just started talking to her. I mean, we talk all the time but…I don’t feel like I know enough about her to speak of her how you do. How did you do it?”

“Well, I don’t know…we just have a lot in common I think.” Harry explained and Adam hummed.

“Well…thanks for listening.” 

“Yeah, mate.” Harry hummed as Adam started to stand.

“Oh, and you know just keep it on the DL that I like her. I think she knows, I started to say something to her on Friday but ummm…yeah, just keep it to yourself.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” Harry assured and Adam nodded once before leaving. 

*****************

Adam had been really quiet and you could basically feel his brooding for yourself. You thought he was going to come chat but ended up leaving for almost ten minutes before returning and once again, being silent. You could hear him sighing every now and again and you wanted to intervene but decided to just leave it. And when lunch time neared you left a few minutes before to go and find Harry.

“Hey.” You greeted him as you peered into his cubicle. He glanced up from his screen at the sound of your voice and smiled instantly.

“Hi!” He greeted you in return as he pulled off his glasses.

“Have you finished the article?”

“Yeah, just doing a bit of polishing.” He said and you nodded.

“Good.”

“Do you want to have a look before I send it to Gary for editing?” He asked and your eyebrows arched in surprise.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve read it way too many times.” He chuckled before standing and stretching. He groaned in relief and you even heard the satisfying cracks of his spine straightening out. “Come, sit.” He invited you and you went over and sat in his seat, already warm from his body heat. He moved around the desk and plopped into the chair across from you and watched you read. It was just a spotlight/ review article about a new enoteca-style bar down town. You were smiling fondly as you read. “Feel free to edit if you see anything that might need improving.” He said and you hummed. After another few moments you pulled back and glanced over at him.

“It’s perfect. Detailed, brief, and it conveys warmth and curiosity about the spot.” You said with a smile, “Excellent job, Harry.” 

“Yeah? It’s good like that?”

“Yeah, I promise.” You assured him.

“Well, since you’re there, send it over for me?” He asked and you smiled and nodded and started drafting up the email. “Adam ummm…came over to talk about your argument this morning.” He added in and you hummed.

“I mean, I wouldn’t say it was an argument, I just…think he overstepped by forcing them to apologize. He also told Destiny that you guys thought she was a shitty person.” You said and Harry sighed.

“For fuck’s sake…”

“I know. He just made it bigger than it needed to be…” you mumbled, “I’m trying to forgive him but…I’m still upset. I made Destiny cry because I told her she was a little to grown to be a mean girl…” you sighed and Harry sniggered.

“She cried?”

“Yeah…” you said with a frown.

“Are you feeling bad?”

“I don’t know…it kind of felt good…knowing that I got to her somehow.” You said as you looked over to him, “Not in a bad way. Like got to her in her heart. It was like she saw me as a person for the first time.” You explained quickly.

“I know what you meant.” He said reassuringly and you smiled and then continued with sending off his article.

“There it goes.” You hummed as the little ��swoosh” sound effect sounded through the computer’s speaker. “Ummm, I was wondering if you…wanted to grab lunch together?”

“I’d love to.” He accepted with a pleased smile.

“Wanna walk to the deli? Could go for a reuben.” You said.

“Have you had it with toasted marble rye?” He asked with excitement and you nodded.

“Of course. And with concerning amounts of mustard.” You said and he chuckled.

“Yeah, s’the only way.” He agreed.

"Alright, let's go!" you said and started heading over to the elevators.

“Wait.” He narrowed his eyes as he glanced to you, "Do you have it with pastrami or corned beef?" he asked.

"I definitely prefer pastrami, but the corned beef down the street is elite." you admitted and he smirked.

"Okay...I will accept that." he chuckled, "Pastrami cuts are a little too fatty for me." he explained.

"That's the best part!" you argued and Harry just made a dramatic gagging sound and you cackled as you pushed the call button for the elevator.

Soon enough you were walking through the lobby of the building to get outside and walk the few minutes to the deli. You ordered right away and then quickly sat because it really filled up over lunch. You were sitting across from each other in the two-person booth and Harry sighed.

“Hey so ummm…I was wondering if you’d be okay with me telling Adam about us?” He asked, “That like…we’re seeing each other.”

“Well, I think that Adam likes me.” You said with a worried expression, “So…it might…hurt his feelings.”

“Oh… you know about that?” He asked and you nodded, “Well, it’s just that he always comes and asks me for advice about you and I feel a little weird trying to help him get noticed by the person I’m interested in.” He chuckled.

“Oh…” You said in realization and then smiled at Harry.

“Yeah…” he chuckled bashfully and then reached his hand over to yours and you turned it over out of sheer instinct. You were covered in goosebumps and your hearing was transfixed on the sound of your heart pounding away hard inside of your chest. His fingers sliding up your palm caused you to smile until his fingers wrapped around your hand and his thumb extended out to caress your wrist.

“Yeah, you can tell him.” You smiled. “But let me try to make things right with him first.”

“Yeah, of course.” He hummed, “You let me know.”

*****************

“Hey, Adam! Wait up!” You called after him as he breezed by your cubicle at the end of the day. He sighed but turned around. “Look, I didn’t mean to berate you this morning. I’m sorry.” You apologized and he smiled a bit, “I freaked out. But I just…I wanted to handle this my way, with as little drama as possible, you know?” You explained and he nodded.

“I get it.” He assured and you nodded, looking at him expectantly, hoping he would also apologize for overstepping. “We’re good though.” He said and you rolled your lips together in disappointment and nodded.

“Okay…sounds good.” You added.

“See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see ya’.” You called after him as he headed off. 

You then made your way over to Harry’s cubicle again but as you rounded the corner to his cubicle you heard Destiny in there.

“-I just really thought there was something between us. I mean, after you got me the coffee and invited me to hang out on Friday, you know?”

“I can definitely see how my actions implied I had a romantic interest in you. I’m sorry if I led you on, that wasn’t my intent at all. I was just being nice.” Harry explained gently. 

“Well, I like you and ummm…if you’re willing t-to give me a chance then I’d love to go out and grab drinks or coffee?” She offered.

“That’s sweet of you, but I’ve actually started seeing Y/N.” He shared and you bit your lip to suppress your smile upon hearing him say it out loud. You felt like it was time to leave the conversation but not without hearing her response. You hoped it wasn’t going to make her more upset at you.

“Oh…” she mumbled, “But she’s…” she started out and then grew silent.

“She’s what?” Harry asked.

“She’s famously kind of a bitch, particularly to you, no?”

“It was a misunderstanding between us. She’s actually very kind and smart and funny, and beautiful.” He said and you decided that you’d eavesdropped enough.

You backed away around the corner again and looked through your phone for another few minutes. When you heard steps approaching you glanced up and were faced with Destiny who was sniffling a bit. She stopped right in front of you and you frowned.

“Are you alright?” You asked and she sighed.

“I’m sorry about everything on Friday. You’re right, I don’t even know you like that and to talk shit about you like that was very high school of me.” She admitted.

“Oh…ummm, thank you.”

“Yeah. And ummm, also sorry for accusing you of ruining things with Harry. I just finished talking to him and he said that he’s actually seeing you.” She informed and you nodded in confirmation, “You could’ve thrown that in my face earlier to humiliate me but you didn’t.”

“Of course not. And well, I didn’t think you’d believe me anyway…probably think I was off my rocker or something.” You said through a breathy snigger and she chuckled.

“Yeah, you’re right.” She admitted and you smiled, “I’m sorry again. That wasn’t my finest moment.”

“It happens to the best of us. I’m sorry too for making you cry earlier.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m starting my period soon and am always more fragile emotionally.” She explained as she rolled her eyes, “But I needed to hear that though. You were right. And well, Harry also explained about Adam and how he doesn’t have a problem with me. But of course, I mean, h-he likes you so I’ll back off and all.” She assured.

“Well thank you for being so understanding and coming around.”

“Of course. Have a good one, okay?”

“You too.” You smiled and waved as she headed off.

“This is why I like you.” Harry said and you whipped around quickly with a startled gasp to see him come around the corner of his cubicle, “You’re very sweet, you know that?”

“Stop it…” you murmured bashfully.

“I like you a lot. I refuse to withhold the lovely things I think about you.” He said and you smiled, not really sure what to say to that. He saw you blushing, but didn’t want to rub it in, so he distracted you by taking your hand and you looked up at him again. “I’ll walk you to your car?” He suggested and you smiled and nodded.

“Sure. Thank you.” You agreed and headed to the elevators. 

There were others leaving also, so he scooted closer to you, so much so that your arms were touching. Everyone getting in was greeting him because again, he was very well liked. But that forced them to greet you and much to their surprise, you weren’t as stoic about it like in the past, but you were certain most of them expected that very flat and cordial response from you. However, Harry’s persistent kindness had made you feel safe around him, especially after discovering that he wasn’t being fake about it. Clearly, Harry had seen your soft and gooey bits beneath the layers of armor you had guarded yourself with for years. His forgiving and understanding attitude helped you feel more open because if he was willing to forgive you and even had feelings for you, why wouldn’t others give you a chance? That’s why you didn’t mind greeting people enthusiastically in return and chatting a bit. You weren’t selfish and were an observer, so you felt like you knew plenty of basic things about your coworkers, you just didn’t interact as much so that they’d know as much about you. And as you parted ways with people they all said goodbye to you both, which you had to admit was quite nice.

“Hey so ummm…I talked to Destiny, just to clear the air and assure her that I didn’t hate her or anything. And ummm…well Adam was pretty harsh.” He said and you sighed, “Either way, ummm, she came onto me and I told her I’m seeing you. Just…letting you know in case everyone knows about it tomorrow.” He said nervously.

“Yeah, I ran into her afterwards and she apologized and mentioned that you said that. I’m not upset by it, in fact ummm…I kind of eavesdropped little.” You admitted, “Literally just happened to walk up when she asked you out.” You confessed with a bashful smile and he smirked, “I promise I left right after. But she was crying again and I apologized for making her cry earlier. I guess I did feel bad about it.” You said and he suddenly reached for your hand again and you smiled up at him quickly before glancing down at your hands as the heat creeped up your neck. “I also apologized to Adam for berating him, but he didn’t apologize for overstepping and putting words in my mouth so I don’t know…it’s bothering me.”

“Maybe he’ll come around soon.” Harry said encouragingly.

“I hope so.” You sighed, “Well, here I am.” You said as you saw your car just a few steps away, “Where did you park?”

“The fourth floor.”

“Oh, I can take you up?” You offered, “I’m not exactly ready yo say goodbye.” You confessed and he smiled.

“I’d love that.” He smiled and you guys got in.

“So ummm…what are we doing for our date on Friday?” You asked. Among all the other things that you’d been obsessing over, this was the main one.

“Well, dinner, but I wanted to pick your brain about that. Would you like a proper, more dressy sit-down meal or something a little more casual?”

“Ummm…are we doing something before or after?” You asked and he grinned.

“Yes, and that can be either before or after. I’d prefer after but ummm whatever. That’s a surprise.” He said and you smiled.

“Okay… will I need to be comfortable for that or can I do it in heels or maybe a dress?” You questioned. You were obsessed with the tingles running through your body of the prospect of this date with him.

“Either or…I mean, how do you feel about walking in heels? Like it’s not a trek or anything, but there will be some walking involved.”

“Hmm…if anything I could wear a comfy heel. But what’s the fancy option you had in mind?”

“French food.”

“And the casual?”

“A dumpling place, which we can also just pick up and eat at the secondary location if you’d prefer. He informed and you hummed excitedly, “Dumplings it is…” he chuckled and you turned to him quickly to smile.

“Perfect. We can eat at the secondary location.”

“Perfect. Snacks will also be provided for the secondary activity.” He informed you, “I’m very excited for this. I think you’re going to enjoy it.” He said excitedly.

“I’m sure I will.” You assured him. 

“There’s my car.” He pointed and you pulled into the empty spot beside his.

“Well, here you are.” You smiled as you put it in park and then turned to him.

“Thank you. I know the day started out pretty rough but I hope it ended off on a high note.”

“It did. Thank you for listening to my venting and for being so kind about everything and not judging me. Even when I was…awful to you. I think about that a lot now. You didn’t deserve any of it, Harry.” You said with a small pout.

“No, but we figured it out, yeah? I’m not dwelling on the past, Y/N. I’ve forgiven you and clearly am quite taken by you.” He reminded and you smiled.

“Is that a kink thing? Being into women who are mean to you?” You questioned teasingly and he chuckled.

“Maybe a little…” he smirked, there was a certain glint in his eye that made you excited and nervous simultaneously. You giggled to play off the nerves.

“Maybe a little…” you repeated through your giggle and he nodded smugly. His gaze then dropped down to your lips, which led you to do the same to him. They were so pretty and the bottom one looked so pillowy, you were desperate to get it between yours and suck it swollen.

“Stop that.” He mumbled before bitting down on his lip to suppress the urge working it’s way up his body. He wanted to taste your lips so badly, it was like an itch that he just couldn’t relieve, that’s how it would feel until he finally got a taste of you.

“What?”

“Being so…enchanting.” He hummed and you bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling like a fool. “You know, this whole time I’ve just been trying to get to know you.” He said softly with a smile and your gaze softened, “I mean, I knew once you let me init was gonna be good, but it’s…far more than I ever could have hoped it would be.” He smiled with satisfaction, “And we haven’t even been on a date!” He emphasized and you giggled.

“I feel the same, Harry.” You chimed in, “You just…fill a void that I never…understood.” You explained and he reached for your face and grabbed it gently.

“Fuck…I’m definitely going to fall in love with you if you’re gonna be talking like that.” He said through a smile and you just laughed and broke eye contact, it was too much. You were suffocating in the feelings for him that were blossoming inside of you. You leaned in and peered up at him.

“Please kiss me.” You whispered and he smiled as he closed the gap. Your lips met in an ardent manner, the give and take was perfect. Your growing smiles caused your lips to smear together sloppily, “You kiss so nice.” You giggled and he grinned and nudged his nose against your cheek playfully.

“Touché, baby.” He hummed, “Taste so nice too…and also like…sour punch straws.” He chuckled.

“Guilty. I had a little snack right before I headed over to find you.” You confessed and he sniggered and pecked your lips again.��

Breathing Easy by Hers started to play over the car speakers and instantly the playfulness of the moment vanished and the vibe grew tense and serious as your eyes met. You felt alive for the first time in a long time. The sudden awareness of your existence and experiences as a human beings struck you like lightening. You already felt close to him but you wanted to be closer. You reached for his gorgeously structured jaw and pressed your lips into his. You nipped at his bottom lip and he smiled. You tugged at it once again and were able to get enough between your teeth to suck on it for a few seconds. He exhaled loudly as a groan rumbled in the back of his throat. It continued crawling up his throat until he moaned lowly. You felt the deep sound right in your core. 

“Harder.” Harry muttered against your lips and you tugged his swollen bottom lip between your teeth and dug them in with an increasing force. “Like that…” he sighed and you stopped there for a few moments before relieving the pressure and doing it once more, once again, completely enamored with how much he was enjoying this.

You could kiss him for hours… You smooched tenderly a few times as the kiss started to wind down. It was prudent of you both to stop it there for the time being. You were just starting to drip slick into your underwear, you were very aware of your vuvla pulsing desperately, with each swell your pussy was pumping out more slick. God, what you would do to have his delightful mouth making out with your pussy like this. You could tell he’d give amazing head…and on the off chance that wasn’t as good as you believed, he’d certainly have the natural potential to be excellent at it. It was getting reckless to be in this situation. You pecked once more before pulling apart. You snuck a glance down at his lap and saw the outline of his already sizable boner through his slacks. You had the urge to reach out and grope it through his pants but refrained because then you’d need to feel the smoothness and warmth of it in your bare hands. You’d get to see if he was cut or uncut. God, you hoped he was uncut… and well, then that would lead to you needing to feel the weight of him on your tongue and savor his taste… Like you said before, it was prudent to stop now, while these urges were barely in the planning phase, the perfect place to stop.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” You hummed lowly, living for the way your kiss-bitten lips smeared against his own in delicate little swipes. Despite being so distracted, he nodded in confirmation.

“Yeah, see y’tomorrow, love.” He whispered before smiling and opening up the door. You waited for him to settle in and when he was buckled up and ready to go he gave you a thumbs up and you smiled before taking off, each to their own destinations for the night but both wishing that you could’ve spent the entire night in that perfect little bubble.

***************

It was Thursday morning when Adam had shown up at Harry’s cubicle again. It seemed that he hadn’t even settled in for the day, that was his first stop of the morning and well, this indicated to Harry that he just needed to break it to Adam that he was dating you. 

“Hey man, got a minute?” Adam asked.

“Sure, I actually needed to talk to you about something as well.” Harry said and Adam took a seat and nodded.

“You first, before I burden you with my girl troubles.” He said through a smile and Harry cleared his throat.

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Harry said and Adam nodded, urging him to go on, “I’m actually seeing Y/N.” He said it plainly, getting right to the point. Harry  waited for Adam to respond but right now he just looked surprised, which he could understand, “So ummm…it does make it a bit…weird for me t-to you know talk to you about her. I would’ve like said something sooner about us liking each other but I wasn’t sure if she’d be alright with me telling people that just yet.” He added and Adam just sat there staring at the desk.

“Is that why you went after her last weekend?” He asked when he finally glanced back up at Harry.

“Yeah. And well, I misinterpreted something that happened between us from before and that’s why I wasn’t really talking to her as much and why she was flat out ignoring me that night. We were clearing that up when you came out and found us.” Harry explained.

“Oh…well, I mean…I like her too. I reckon I’ve liked her for longer than you have and well, we’ve been friends for longer too.” He explained and Harry’s expression changed into one of confusion.

“Okay, so what are you saying?” He asked for clarification.

“I’m saying that I have dibs!” Adam chuckled as if it were obvious.

“Dibs? We’re not teenagers, Adam. We’re grown men!” Harry chuckled in disbelief at what he was hearing.

“Well are you exclusively dating?”

“We haven’t really gotten there yet.”

“Then can I ask her out too?” He asked and Harry was trying hard no to scowl at him.

“I…I don’t know! I mean…I would rather you not because what the fuck…” he chuckled and Adam sighed.

“Yeah, but dude, I’ve thought she was good looking forever! You’ve only seen her that way for a few weeks.” Adam exaggerated.

“No, I’ve been into her for a long while! She just disliked me so she never gave me the time of day even when I would try my hardest to get to know her. But when she finally gave me a chance it just…worked really well. We clicked.” Harry explained. “I have been putting moves on her forever! Obviously, I was trying to start out as friends first so that we could get to know each other a little better and that’s what all of this has been this entire time!”

“Okay, same! Why do you think I made nice with her?” Adam chuckled.

“Well what about all the times you’ve…talked shit about her to me or to other people? I literally would have never known that you were into her!” Harry reminded him and Adam sighed.

“It’s not talking shit! I’m sympathizing with the people she upsets, to like help them get her. Like you know she’s not the easiest person to deal with at times, H.” Adam said.

“I have to disagree with you there, mate. She really isn’t hard to figure out or to grow close with…” Harry explained and Adam’s gaze withdrew from Harry’s. “Look, I can’t forbid you from asking her out too because we’re just getting started but I think we’ve got something that could become really special. And as someone who I consider a friend, I ask that you hold off and respect that I asked her out first.” Adam glanced up at Harry then and his lips quirked up in a small smile.

“I think you’re just nervous that she’s going to choose me over you.” He said smugly. 

Harry couldn’t tell if he was just this unserious or being malicious about it. He could challenge Adam and tell him all of the things you were upset at him about but that wasn’t his place. Better that Adam hear from you that you weren’t into him so that he could just move on. Harry knew you’d have no problem dealing with that, especially since you were already a little bit upset at him for him dabbling in the Destiny situation. And well, maybe Adam was not as good of a guy as he may have thought before.

“Suit yourself.” Harry sighed and then just returned to his work. Adam sat there for a few more seconds before standing and leaving without another word.

**************

Meanwhile Adam and Harry were having a tiff over you, you were getting to your cubicle, more than delighted to find a little box of four dark chocolate covered strawberries at the center of your desk. You immediately smiled brightly and went for the note taped on the side of the box.

Admittedly, these are NOT NEARLY as tasty as your lips but nevertheless, a little sweet treat for you to enjoy. - H

You could feel that your face growing red hot. You weren’t embarrassed, you were just overwhelmed. You had no idea how to express the joy and excitement that was burning through you. You had always believed that you weren’t the type of person to be whisked off your feet with thoughtful and romantic gestures like this, but now that you had someone who showed affection this way, well, you felt special. You felt considered, knowing that Harry had spared you a thought. It was sickeningly sweet of him to do this. You put your strawberries away in your mini fridge and then sat at your chair and quickly pulled out your phone to text Harry a thank you message.

“Hey!” You heard and glanced up, your smile still wide and excited from your surprise. You saw Adam peering into your cubicle, “What’re you all chipper about?” He asked as he stepped in.

“S’nothing. What’s up?” You asked as you set your phone down to give him your attention.

“Just dropping in to say hello.” He said as he took a seat.

“Well…hello.” You giggled nervously as you reached for your computer’s power button.

“Hi.” He chuckled and just watched you for a few moments as you logged in, “Did you bring lunch today?” He asked.

“I did not.” You disclosed as you glanced over to him again.

“Well, would you want to go out and grab a bite to eat with me at lunch?”

“Well, actually I’m leaving early today, I have an appointment so no lunch break for me.” You explained and he hummed.

“I see…well what about tonight? Do you have dinner plans?” He asked and you bit your lip nervously before just asking what you wanted to ask.

“Are you trying to ask me out on a date?” You inquired and he chuckled nervously and shrugged.

“I…guess I am. Yeah.” He said through a bashful smile. “And look…I know that you’re talking to Harry now, he just told me. But I mean, we’ve been friends for a while and I think you’re pretty and smart and I would love to have a chance to take you out as more than friends before anything gets too serious between the two of you.” He explained and you pouted a bit as you heard this.

“Oh ummm…this is sweet of you but I’m not interested in you like that, Adam. And well, like Harry said, we’re already seeing each other, so no.” You explained.

“But you haven’t even given me a chance, Y/N…” he chuckled as he looked at you with some disbelief and you pouted.

“Right, but that’s just because I don’t…see you in that way. If I did feel some attraction towards you I would be open to going out with you but I don’t.” You explained as gently as possible.

“So all the times that we hung out before were nothing?”

“Not nothing. I mean, we’re friends. Friends hang out.” You shrugged. “You haven’t indicated that you’ve liked me more than friends before. I mean, very recently you’ve been acting a little different but-”

“So you’ve noticed that my way of being with you has shifted and you still decided to date Harry?” He asked and you sighed.

“Look Adam, if you’re the one with feelings then it’s your responsibility to bring that up to me. I’m not a mind reader…I can speculate about why things have changed but I’m not going to assume and then jeopardize our friendship if I was wrong.” You defended your stance. “And like I said before, I also haven’t responded to these changes because I just don’t think of you in that way.”

“Is this because you’re still upset over the Destiny thing?”  He asked next and you sighed.

“No, it’s not that. I mean, I’m still not very pleased with you for that but again, I wasn’t into you like that before it happened.”

“I thought we had cleared that up already.” He sighed.

“Ummm not really? You didn’t even apologize for talking to her about an issue between us without asking first. I apologized to you in case you felt berated by me or something, but I at least expected you to recognize that what you did wasn’t okay and that it made a mess of things.” You explained. “I know you were meaning to help but you didn’t. And I know you were trying to defend me but you actually put me in a bad situation with Destiny.” You explained again. “And quite honestly, the way you dealt with that and now this, it does make me question whether we know each other all that well.” You explained. His jaw tensed and he cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’ve been asking myself that too…” he mumbled. “I don’t want to apologize for the Destiny thing because I truly feel like I was doing the right thing. And I’m not going to say sorry for something that I don’t regret. I know I meant well and I can’t be sorry for that. If Destiny then turned it into a bad thing then she’s the one who should apologize to you.” He explained.

“She did. Harry talked to her and cleared the air with her and that made her apologize to me for believing I had been trying to turn you guys against her and for talking shit about me on Friday night. I mean, you told her that no one liked her anymore because of that…that’s not okay, Adam. Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever be friends with her but I also don’t dislike her.” You said and he sighed.

“I just…she didn’t seem to feel bad about it so I wanted her to…to just know how it felt to be you for a bit, where people just don’t like you from one experience.” He explained and you frowned.

“What are you trying to say?” You asked him.

“Oh come on, Y/N…It’s no secret that a lot of people here aren’t all that fond of you.” He said and you scoffed, “People give me shit about being friends with you all the time. It’s also why I just…was nervous to really make a move. I mean…I’m not ashamed of you but I also just…I didn’t want people to think that I became a dick just because I started to date you.” He explained.

“You know what, Adam? We’re done.” You said emphatically. “I don’t like you like that and quite frankly, I think I don’t even like you as a friend any more.” You said to him and he frowned.

“Y/N-”

“You clearly think of me the way everyone else does! That I’m just some bitch you have to tame and put up with! If you really knew me you wouldn’t even be concerned about what other people thought of us as friends or even if we were to be more than friends!” You snapped, you were trying your hardest not to raise your voice.

“I don’t think of you that way, but sometimes it’s just hard t-to justify the things you do!” He explained and you frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Like…when you’re so picky about other people’s work! People spend hours on their articles! And sometimes you tear them to shreds and it upsets them! And I then hear about it and like…step in t-to let them vent and I try to get them to see your angle, you know? Like I remind them that you went to Mizzou, like Gary did, and that’s why you’re such a stickler and that you’re just more introverted and whatnot…but like, it’s still hurtful when you do that and people work their asses off on their columns and articles.”

“I’m a news editor here, Adam! It’s my job to dissect and fix and question everything that comes across my desk. We’re a great magazine because we make sure that everything we publish in our news column is factual. It’s not personal when I make corrections, it’s just my job to ensure that our integrity as a news and media outlet is not compromised. I know I’m not all bubbly and chipper all the time but I’ve never been rude to anyone about their work! And if you, my supposed friend, have been going around and reinforcing the idea that I’m some elitist grump and editing tyrant from the Mizzou Mafia it kinda makes sense why no one likes me! Do you see how that paints me as a person?” You questioned and he frowned upon hearing this and shook his head.

“Shit…I didn’t mean to do that, Y/N! I really was just trying t-to defend you and get people to understand where you were coming from, you know?”

“I get that…but it’s the same thing with Destiny, you’re speaking for me instead of letting me deal with my own things. I didn’t ask you to step in and defend my honor ever and quite frankly I don’t need that. I don’t need help with those things. If anyone ever has questions about the notes I have on something they can come and talk to me and understand why I gave that note. And I can assure you, the reason has never been “because I went to the top school for journalism in the country so you have to make the edits I suggested”. Like no…just no! And now that’s what everyone thinks, that I’m some condescending elitist!” you sighed in exasperation.

“I’m so sorry.” He apologized again, “And I’m sorry f-for making you look that way. I guess I’ve been…trying to get everyone to see that you’re pretty cool and I’ve been fucking it up. I’ve never been that smooth… or good with the ladies.” he said with a sad smile as he glanced down at his hands in his lap. You felt bad for him, you really wished you were into him, but you just weren’t.

“Hey, y-you’re a catch, Adam.” You said and he glanced up at you.

“You’re just sweet.”

“No, I’m serious! Maybe just not exactly for me, but someone else will be so lucky to be your partner. You’re smart and handsome and funny!” You encouraged.

“And meddlesome…” he added with a small smirk and you nodded.

“Yeah, but who hasn’t got things they need to work on?” You shrugged and he smiled.

“I understand if you ummm…need a little space. I should probably also apologize to Harry. I was a dick.” He said.

“He’ll be gracious about it.” You assured him and Adam nodded.

“Yeah of course he will, he’s…Harry.”

“Harry.” You both said at the same time and then chuckled. “Hey ummm, he left some chocolate covered strawberries on my desk this morning. Want one?”

“Milk or dark?”

“Dark.”

“Fuck yeah, break ‘em out.” He chuckled as he settled in. 

Of course, you’d continue to be cautious because Adam seemed to be a little more immature than you expected him to be. However, you were relieved that you had cleared the air with him because now that just left one guy to devote thoughts to in your brain.

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[loganslowdown4]

Today I was thinking about how the dark sides are represented as ‘villains’ because c!Thomas thinks that that side of himself is reprehensible. Like he sees completely in black and white. And because of this, any thought or action that comes from that side is immediately villainized, to the point where they act and even look like cartoon villains.

His point of reference for ‘bad guys’ has always been from his experience with the media he consumes, like cartoons or video games. It’s actually an immature way of looking at himself.

I get the wanting to separate good from bad, and this works for the big moral yes or no questions. But there gets to be a point where we grow up and realize that most instances in our lives have shades of grey answers, which is actually why Janus and Remus are there. We eventually just accept those sides of ourselves as part of us.

And eventually, they become more mellow and we realize they’re just there for self preservation. It’s not selfish to look after yourself if you have to lie about something. We’re not bad because we have intrusive thoughts. Being bothered by them literally shows us what NOT to do. In their way, they are a form of moral compass.

Neither sides are there to make him comfortable, but being comfortable leaves you vulnerable when you need protection. So Janus and Remus aren’t great sides but they aren’t ‘villains’ either, as Thomas sees them. They deserve acceptance just as much as Virgil does, because, like Virgil, they’re working to protect Thomas just as much.

Just some food for thought today! 😁 Also check out the colours in Thomas’ tie whoa 👀🤍🖤

[freak-accident419]

playing cards

Derek Danforth x GN!Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | More parts coming soon

Summary: You and Derek prepare for the party. When the night finally came, it was up to the two of you to impress his mother.

Word Count: 4.3k

Content: gender neutral reader, swearing, shopping yay, Derek’s mommy issues, dancing hrngggg, fun banter

Ao3 Link

(A/n: thank you to everyone’s support! I wouldn’t have been able to do this fic without you all! Please comment if you want to be added to the tag list!! Reblogs, likes, comments, and kudos on Ao3 are highly appreciated! Love you all xx)

-

“Okay, so…” You began, gently chewing on the pen in your hand. “What is our stance on six months?”

“Too long, don’t you think?” Derek replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Hm. Yeah, maybe.”

The next day, you and Derek rejoined at your penthouse, lounging in your bedroom with index cards in your grasp. Together, you were coming up with your ‘backstory’ to make sure that the two of you were on the right page, especially if you were ever met with specific questions regarding your newfound relationship.

“How about just three months?” You finally suggested, looking up from the index cards to glance at Derek.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he shrugs casually, granting you to write it down.

You quickly scribbled on the notecard, littering the blank space with sloppy, black ink. “Alright, quick rundown,” you say abruptly, covering the thin stack of index cards with your hand. “Go.”

“Okay, uh… Three months ago, on the morning after a huge rager, I got a, um, really bad hangover, as one does. And you, being the best friend you were, took care of me and lectured me about my consequences or some kind of… self-righteous bullshit like that,” he recalled, trying to remember what the two had went over just now. “Uhhh… Soon after, you confessed your feelings for me, I told you they were reciprocated, and now we’re, like, fuckin’ dating or whatever.”

You raise an eyebrow with a slight grin. “Wow, that is actually completely correct. What are you, fuckin’ sober?” you chuckle softly, admittedly impressed with him. You flipped over and went through some of the other index cards until you stopped to stare at a specific one. “First date?” you challenge, looking back up at him.

You watched Derek’s expression turn into deep contemplation, noting how his eyebrows furrowed in uncertainty. “It was, uh… fuck. It was… We… Wine tasting. Yeah. The wine tasting at, uh—”

“No, we actually scrapped that one, remember?” You remarked, shaking your head. “Your mom would never believe that, like, you’re way too immature for that shit—hell, I’m way too immature for that shit.”

“Right,” he huffs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fuck… Fuck. It was, uhh,” he snapped his fingers suddenly, conveying a triumphant epiphany, “Dinner! It was fuckin’ dinner, down at the, uh… the Mistral. That one restaurant on Columbus Avenue.”

You scoff lightly with a satisfied grin on your face. “Damn, you are a thousand percent correct again! Bonus points for remembering the place too.” You stacked the notecards neatly on the table. “Alright, and so everything from there on is just unscripted, plain bullshit, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he answers, nodding his head. “Okay, yeah. And—fuck—if anyone, like, asks either of us a question and we have to make up random shit on the spot, we have to update the other about it immediately, okay?”

“Well, yeah, I mean, that’s what the index cards are for,” you remark, lifting up the small stack to his view.

“You know, I don’t—I don’t understand, why can’t we just use, like, the fuckin’ Notes app or something?” he scoffs, raising an eyebrow.

“Science says you can memorize things more easily if you write them down,” you shrug with a slight pout.

He rolled his eyes and decided to dismiss it. “Okay, right, uhhh—Hey, what are you going to wear for the party?”

“Oh right, um, here,” you say, walking towards your closet and opening it up. You grabbed the outfit by the hanger, which was covered entirely by plastic after a luxurious dry cleaning, displaying it to Derek. “I was, uh, thinking of this.”

Derek’s expression, however, dropped. “What the hell is that?” He asked bluntly, looking at it with resentment.

“What’s—What’s what?” You ask with a baffled expression.

“You’re seriously not thinking of wearing that,” he huffs, glaring at you in disbelief.

“What—What’s wrong with it, I spent, like, a thousand dollars on it!” You exclaim, taking another glimpse of the clothing in your hand.

“That’s the thing, it’s not enough,” he grumbles, wiping downwards at his face with his palm.

You scoffed in utter confusion. “What?”

“Look, if we’ve been dating for three months, I would’ve already bought you a goddamn plethora of expensive shit. You need to wear something that’s at least, like, five to ten thousand bucks.”

“Seriously? Are you fucking serious?” You scoffed in frustration. “Look, no one’s—No one’s gonna even notice the fucking difference, y—”

“My mom might!” He interjects firmly. “Look, if we want to create the illusion that you and I are dating, we really have to fucking sell it, okay? I wouldn’t date someone who wears shit like… like that,” he gestures bitterly at the attire.

“You know what, fuck you! Are we seriously—?” You groaned, pinching your eyebrows together. “Derek. You literally fuckin’ dress like you’re in a goddamn midlife crisis and you’re not even close to pushing forty! Like, are you colorblind, what—what even is that?” You point towards his outfit, which was the revoltingly mix-matched clothing combo that somehow costed significantly more than your own damn paycheck.

Derek gaped in surprise at your insults as you proceeded on with your rant. “Well, news flash, fuckwad! Your mom also knows me very well, and she knows that I wouldn’t date a fuckin’ clown like you! So how about we both make a deal to improve our own clothing choices? What are—What are you even planning to wear to the party?”

“The uh…” Derek scratched at the back of his neck briefly, raising an eyebrow. “That one sage green suit of mine,” he replied stiffly.

“Hell no.”

“What—”

“Hell no! Are you serious? No!” You exclaim with a dark chuckle.

“Wh—” His face was quite priceless.

“No.”

“Fuck…” he sighs. “Fuck, fine.” Derek eyes your disapproving expression. “Fine. I’ll call the fuckin’ chauffeur and have him take us to Copley.”

***

Later on, the two of you arrived at the Copley Place, the posh Boston shopping center that you would frequently visit for most of your apparel. You were rich, indubitably, but not nearly as rich as Derek, of course. Before, you’ve made your money through several technician occupations in the form of job hopping, and it wasn’t until Derek took over Danforth Enterprises that he hooked you up with a seemingly long-term and high-paying job there. You’d been friends with him ever since your college years, after all. He wasn’t at all hesitant to help out his best friend. He was quite the selfish, greedy man, but he had his moments. Especially with you.

“This one,” Derek says, gesturing to an outfit that he found for you.

“Ew, no,” you grimace, nearly scowling at the sight of it. “It looks fuckin’ stupid.”

“What do you mean, it looks—? It looks great,” he retorted with a baffled expression.

“Well, of course you would say that,” you interject, “your fashion sense is fucking horrendous, it’s like you don’t even have one to begin with.”

Derek groaned impatiently at your tireless insults. “Jesus fuck.”

“You just need a reality check! That’s all I’m saying, dude,” you huff, proceeding to walk around further into the store. Suddenly, your eyes caught sight of a rather pleasing outfit, slightly rushing towards it. “Okay, how about this? I think it looks fine.”

Derek raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t look so against it. “How much is it?” He asked, eyeing it curiously.

“Uhh… Around six thousand,” you shrug after you had glanced at the label.

“Alright, good. Okay. Yeah, we’ll get it,” he nods in compliance. Finally, god damn.

“Will I get to keep it?” You ask with playful curiosity.

“Uh, if the night goes well, then sure,” he replied, “but if not, I’m returning it.”

You pouted.

Soon enough, the two of you were fishing for clothes for Derek, walking into each and every designer store at the Copley. He was excruciatingly picky and difficult to work with, but then again, it was nothing you weren’t used to.

You eye an elegant three-piece suit, the blackout appearance grabbing your attention. “I like this one,” you hum softly, “It’s all black—simple, classy, it looks nice.”

Derek examined the suit in front of him, raising an eyebrow. “Uh… It’s not really… me, though, is it?”

“Yeah, well… Isn’t that the whole point, though? Being the complete opposite of yourself, a changed person? Yeah, we don’t want you to be you tomorrow night,” you scoffed with a slight chuckle. “I think you should get it. And maybe, you’ll actually look very nice for once.”

“Y/n—”

“C’mon, dude. Isn’t the whole point of this is to impress your mom?” You point out.

“Well, yeah,” he grumbles, scratching lightly at his cheek.

“Then buy the suit, man! None of that fuckin’… crypto bro nonsense that makes her shit her pants,” you urge, chuckling softly.

Derek looks at you with a now serious and inquisitive expression. “Do you really think it’ll impress her?”

You cross your arms, looking at the suit once again. “She would cry tears of fuckin’ joy, man.”

He turned his head and looked at you, genuinely surprised at your answer. “You serious?”

You nodded with a cheeky grin. “I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“Okay, fuck it… I’ll take it.”

***

The next day came by very fast. In the afternoon, you and Derek ‘rehearsed’ a couple of things, ensuring that the two of you were all set for this ridiculous stunt. Then you both went back to your homes to get ready for the party. It was a genuinely classy and elegant event, so you figured you would actually put effort in looking nice and presentable. Plus, you were attending the party in $6,000 clothing that Derek bought for you. You wanted to do it justice.

Later that evening, the two of you would regroup at Derek’s mansion. You met up with him outside of his estate by a black limo. And you found Derek’s expression to be quite curious once he practically gazed upon you; his eyes were wide and his lips were parted slightly in awe.

“Holy shit,” he scoffed amusedly, crossing his arms, “you actually clean up well.” He was shocked, to say the very least. He’s never seen you dress up like this, considering he’s only ever seen you in your casual, day-to-day outfits.

Ultimately, his reaction surprised you, making you pleasantly stunned. “Yeah? I could say the same thing about yourself. It’s nice to see you not wear a fuckin’ eye-straining suit for once,” you chuckle brashly, getting Derek to roll his eyes.

“Yeah?” He went inside of the car through the backseat doors as you followed promptly. “Well, don’t get used to it. I just have to pull off this stunt for one night and once my mom realizes I’m not that much of a reckless asshole, everything will be back to the way it was.”

You groaned with a slight, teasing smile on your face. “God, just at least let me enjoy this while it lasts.”

“You know—I don’t—I don’t fuckin’ get why you’re always being such a fucking hater!” He nearly laughs, mocking an offended tone. “I—All my assistants respect my fashion choices, they’ve said it themselves, you just have no fuckin’ taste!”

“You know, have you ever considered that they’re just saying that because you’re the one paying them?” You smirk playfully.

“You’re a dick,” he chuckles gently, shoving your shoulder lightly. “You’re a fuckin’ dick, you know that?”

Later on, the two of you arrived at the venue. It was a refined and impressively massive establishment, in which you later actually recognized as part-art museum. Exiting the vehicle, you stood beside Derek at the front of the entrance, glancing at all the other wealthy people walking in.

“Hold onto my arm,” he directs in a mutter.

“Ew,” you scoff.

“Y/n.”

You rolled your eyes as you gave in, holding onto his arm as you walked into the building together. It was a bit crowded, occupied with older people in elegant getups; gentlemen in respectable suit and ties, women in sparkly dresses, et cetera, et cetera. The interior of the venue was spacious and exceptionally sophisticated, consisting of dignified architecture with the ceiling littered with expensive chandeliers. It definitely was not Derek’s scene, but it wasn’t even yours either.

“Shit. I forgot how pretentious your mother’s parties were,” you mumbled to him as the two of you walked further into building.

“What, did you forget that she’s the fucking President of the entire country too?” He retorted, which made you punch him lightly in the side with your free hand, making you grin once you saw his pained reaction.

“Dick,” you grumble. “Hey, where’s your mom?” You ask, trying to look past the crowd.

“I don’t know, she’ll turn up eventually,” he says, guiding you to a rather secluded spot against the wall. Suddenly remembering the whole purpose of this event, you weren’t sure when the actual auction would begin. But then again, you weren’t sure if you even cared.

“Oh shit, Nathaniel and Ophelia are here,” Derek interjects, pointing to a familiar pair across the room.

“Huh… Hey, why are you friends with them again? Didn’t you say they were, like, pretentious douchebags?” You remarked, looking at the said couple, who were drinking champagne and chatting at the opposite wall.

“Not friends, just, like… I don’t know, my mom wanted me to be in a good social circle, so she introduced me to them a few months back,” he shrugged. “But they’re just irritating, arrogant fucking pricks.”

“And you’re not?” He glared at you as you smirked. “You know, I don’t know if this is wrong of me to say, but… I really can’t tell if they’re siblings or dating,” you confess, squinting your eyes at them.

“Right? Like, I swear to fucking god, I thought I was the only one!” Derek exclaimed with enthusiasm. “Like, fuck, I’ve met up with them so many times in the past, but I still don’t fucking remember which one it is!”

The two of you cackled together as you observed the pair from across the room. “Oh shit, imagine if it’s just a whole Alabama situation,” you suggested, snickering towards Derek.

“God, that would be fucking terrible. Though, it would definitely explain the matching blue eyes,” he laughs. “Fuck, I’ve been waiting to find dirt on those two, they are fucking infuriating.”

“Jesus, it’s the whole Toad and Toadette debate all over again,” you chuckle softly.

“What?” He looks back at you curiously.

“What?”

“Toad and Toadette, it’s confirmed they’re dating,” Derek claimed.

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What? No, no, I could’ve sworn I read somewhere that they were siblings.”

“Uh, no, the creator himself said that they were girlfriend-boyfriend,” he remarks.

“Wh—Dude! All this time, I thought they were siblings!” You exclaimed, placing your hands on your head in shock.

“Yeah, well, they aren’t. You said you read it somewhere, what was it, fuckin’ Reddit?” He scoffed brashly with a cheeky grin.

“No. Fuck off,” you retort, frowning. “If anything, you’re the one on fucking Reddit, like, 24/7.”

“What? No—”

“Looking at ‘r/Crypto’ and ‘r/Nudes’, you ‘r/Dickhead’,” you teased, smirking playfully.

“Oh, fuck off—”

“Derek.”

Your pretend boyfriend’s speech freezes and you could see him tense up slightly at the mere voice of his mother. You noticed her in a stunning, carmine dress, her blonde hair pairing very well with it. Red was definitely her color. She glanced at Derek and then at you, a bit surprised. “And Y/n. I didn’t know you’d be joining us this evening.”

She looked back at her son. “You look very nice tonight, Derek, I’m very glad you were able to make it.” She then raises an interrogating eyebrow. “So, will your date be arriving here anytime soon?”

Derek eyes his mother, chuckling awkwardly. You felt like you were going to cringe at his next words, knowing what they would be. “Actually, Mom, uh… The date that I spoke to you on the phone about is actually… my partner, Y/n.”

And you did—inside, at least.

Jessica’s eyes widened as she looks back at you again. She knew you as Derek’s best friend—hell, his best friend since college. You didn’t work at Danforth Enterprises until she made Derek the CEO, resulting in him offering a job to you. But most of all, you and Derek had been strictly platonic friends for years, and it shocked her to her core to find out about this. “Seriously? You and… When did… When did this happen?”

“Well, you see, uh,” you began, playing with your fingers as you tried to recall everything you wrote and memorized on the index cards, “there was always—there was always something there, you know? Don’t you—don’t you think? Well, uh, one day, your son was very, um, hungover, and I stayed to take care of him.”

“They, uh,” Derek interrupted, chiming in. “That was, like, three months ago, right? Three, and um, they confessed their apparent romantic feelings towards me. You—you know, it was a very vulnerable moment, and I reciprocated… and yeah, now we’re dating.” He then stuttered out, “We, uh, we wanted to keep it under wraps for a while, but now, we figured we should… tell everyone now.”

And if it weren’t for that stupid, phony grin on his face, maybe she would have bought it. Though actually, you couldn’t really tell if she was convinced or not. There was a look of curiosity in her expression, paired with deep contemplation. You felt like you could detect doubt, but even that could be mixed up with bewilderment.

“Wow, uh… I wouldn’t say I expected this at all,” she says with a raised eyebrow. Then she looked at you with a small smile. “So you’ve been keeping my son on his toes if I’ve heard correctly, yes?”

You nod, glancing at Derek then back at her. “That’s right, ma’am. Uh, we all know his reputation, but, um… You know, ever since we started dating, he felt the urge to become a better person. And so did—so did I,” you remarked, remembering how Jessica also knew you as quite the trouble maker. After all, she caught the two of you getting high at another party before, similar to the sophistication of this one.

She was intrigued, to say the least. And suddenly, you had an epiphany: you just realized that what you were doing was deceiving the President of the United States. Fuck Derek, man.

“And that trending video of him?” You began, “That was taken, uh, three months ago during a party. It was actually the night before we started dating,” you explained, observing her reaction. “Why is everyone posting it now? Well, you see, uh…”

Fuck.

Fuck, you forgot. Did you seriously forget? Shit. What the hell was the reason?

She was looking at you expectedly. Fuck. What the fuck are you going to say? How did you forget something so simple?

“That video was taken on one of those digital cameras,” Derek butt in immediately. “The storage card was lost for a while, but I guess somebody found it and posted it, and now everybody’s reposting it.”

What. The. Fuck.

You were way more of an organized person than Derek. How the hell did he remember the lie that you wrote down, but you didn’t?

Nevertheless, Jessica nodded, a seemingly neutral expression plastered on her face. “That’s relieving to hear,” she hums softly, “well, I know that you aren’t really into these charity events, Derek, but—”

“Actually,” he began with a charming grin, “I think I will be participating in the auction this evening.” Way to go, Derek.

She looked at him in awe, glancing at you for a while, then back at him. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” he nods pridefully. “I think this is a great cause, Mom.” Wow, he is killing it.

“O-oh. That’s wonderful of you to say, Derek. Well, this entire event is a gala and charity auction, so feel free to help yourselves in the drinks and food. There’s also dancing, but I know you aren’t—”

“I, uh, actually,” he chimes in once again. Jesus Christ, it was like she was testing him. “I would, uh… love to dance with my partner.” Your eyes widened as you felt the both of you cringe at his own response.

“Oh.” Suddenly, there was a small, genuine smile that creeped up on her lips. And you could tell that Derek noticed it too, because his face had just… softened. “Well, I hope you two enjoy the night.” She cupped Derek’s face with one hand and kissed the top of his head. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom,” he mutters softly.

“You look very handsome.”

“Thank you, Mom.”

“I am so proud of you.” Then she walked away to greet other people, disappearing in the tame crowd.

You noticed Derek’s widened eyes and chuckled softly to yourself at the sight.

“Holy shit…” he mumbled before lighting up. “Did you—Did you hear that? She said she was fucking proud of me. She’s never said that in, like, a long fucking time, or ever! Holy—holy fucking shit.”

“Congrats, man,” you grinned warmly. “But like… the dancing thing. I can’t fucking dance. I mean, you know that.”

“It’s easy, don’t worry,” he dismissed, getting two glasses of champagne from a caterer that just walked by, handing one of them to you. “Just copy what I do.”

You took a rather long sip of the champagne. Liquid courage, you figured. “I just… You know, I really don’t want to do it. We can—We can just say I got sick from one of the little gourmet shits and I can’t dance.”

“Y/n—C’mon, you heard my mom. She was proud of me. She’ll be even prouder when she sees me out there, dancing like a sophisticated, pretentious prick, like the other fucks here. Come on, Y/n. Please,” he pleaded, looking at you with utter desperation.

“I—I don’t understand, she did say she was proud of you. I’m sure you won’t have to worry about her cutting you off anymore since she’s seen that you ‘changed’,” you reason, raising an eyebrow.

“No—Y/n, Y/n, I’m hanging on by a fucking thread right now. She sees us dancing, she’ll be a hundred percent sure that I’ve ‘changed for the better’ and won’t take any drastic measures. Y/n, please.” You knew your best friend well. And you knew damn well that this wasn’t just about the money and being cut off. He wanted to please his mother, he needed to.

You groaned, rolling your eyes as you downed the remaining champagne in your glass. You pointed at his face with aggression. “I’m raising the damn price to one thousand, then. You know how much I can’t stand dancing.”

“Yeah, whatever, that’s fine with me,” he shrugs, then eyes you gently. “Thank you.”

It was no surprise to you that you would instantly regret saying yes to him.

“Ow—Fuck—Stop—stop stepping on my fucking toes,” Derek snarled as the two of you were in an embrace, your hands clasped together while your other hand was placed on your shoulder and his on your waist. Sophisticated, slow jazz music played in the background as you were surrounded by other people who, not surprisingly, danced better than the two of you.

“I fuckin’ warned you, didn’t I?” You scoffed in response, trying to move your feet correctly.

“Whatever, just… Is she—Is she watching us?” He mutters, looking at the crowd behind you.

“Umm, I don’t know, I don’t know where she is,” you reply, searching the room for the woman in the red dress.

“Ow—Goddammit, Y/n, keep your fucking feet to yourself!” He winces, giving you an angry glare.

“Fuck! It’s not my fault, dude, I already warned you!” You retort petulantly. “Where—Where did you even learn to dance, huh?”

“When I was younger. I had to take ballroom classes. I came from a rich family, you know, we had status, a reputation to uphold,” he explained, making you roll your eyes.

“Oh shit—I can see her, she’s in the crowd,” you say abruptly.

“Where?” Derek’s eyes suddenly widened as he looked at you with anticipation.

“Like, behind you. I think she’s talking to—Oh shit, she’s watching us now,” you say, glancing at Jessica from far across the room, watching the two of you dance.

“Fuck, okay. Okay… I’m gonna dip you,” he mutters.

What?

“What?!” You exclaimed.

“I’m just gonna dip you, earn us some more brownie points,” he figures.

“No! Fuck! No, no fucking way! Do not—do not fuckin’ dip me!” You warned furiously, feeling your face heat up.

“I’m gonna do it.”

“No! Fuck! Derek, I swear to god, I swear to fucking god, I will—I will put cyanide in your bourbon, you will never see the light of fucking day, I—”

You felt his hand reach towards your back as he kicked at your ankle, making you lose balance and fall back towards his hand. You frown at him as you see his cocky face above you until he brought you back up.

“I hate you,” you murmured.

“It’s not a big deal, dude, it—ow!”

“I did that on purpose,” you huff after you had stepped harshly on his foot.

“How does my mom look?” He asked.

“She’s…” you raise an eyebrow, then looked back at Derek warmly. “She’s crossing her arms and smiling at us. She looks really proud. Jesus, for the first time in her fucking life.”

Derek smiled to himself. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Oh, by the way, just for that little stunt you did back there, I’m raising it to fifteen hundred.”

“Fine with me,” he shrugs, now holding your hand in a looser grip. He guided it above your head, stretching your arm upward to spin you gracefully before bringing you back to him.

“God, I can’t wait to break up with you,” you chuckle softly, your movements more trained and fluid.

“Oh yeah?” He scoffs at your remark, laughing briefly, “Me too.”

[lookingthroughmirrors]

Opinion on how annabeth punches and pushes percy, the judo flip and percy being reduced to a himbo malewife in hoo (can't make his way out of a paper bag without annabeth).

(Please note most of knowledge comes from PJO and HOO as I have not read much of the later series, but I do know the main points and events that happened and have read certain pages *cough* judo flip *cough*

I’ll start with the first part, Annabeth punching Percy (which happens the first time long before HOO) and the infamous Judo flip, which is for some reason very controversial.

Most of the arguments I see are one of these few things.

1. Annabeth was worried and did it out love

2. They were raised as demigods (child soldiers) so it’s not the same/ they are used to violence therefore it excuses her actions

3. There is nothing wrong with her hitting because it wasn’t like

First off, all of these arguments and any other ones I’ve seen when it comes to this topic and defending Annabeth are bullshit. Why? Because there is no excuse to hitting a partner. Slapping someone’s shoulder while joking or something in a similar context is miles different to what was happening here. Annabeth hit Percy hard, and she did it with the intention of making it hurt. There is no excuse for that. Sure, they were raised as Demigods and violence has always been a large part of their lives, but then shouldn’t Percy also lash out and hit Annabeth if that’s the case? And shouldn’t that be fine too? You don’t hit someone out of worry or concern either, not hard enough for an army to believe you to be a threat. Annabeth has never been nice to Percy, she canonically say in TLT that she doesn’t care if he dies, only that she can go on the quest. And ok, maybe that could be written off as an immature twelve year old, if her actions in later books didn’t continually prove that she hadn’t changed or developed. I think another fundamental issue in her relationship with Percy is that she can never be wrong, Luke being the biggest example of this.

Percy, even with his history and past friendship with Luke, was able to look at things objectively to an extent. He says multiple times that Luke had a point. I honestly think if it had’ve just been Luke, if titans hadn’t of been involved, that Percy would’ve joined Luke. But that’s a whole other thing. I only bring it up because I think Luke particularly is the best example of Percy having far better judgement than Annabeth, who refuses to be wrong. Something that again is addressed within BOTL, when she challenges the Sphynx because of her pride, and is an asshole to Rachel because she doesn’t want to rely on another person and is jealous. She likes being the leader, she wants to be the person people rely on, but that has always comes naturally to Percy despite how much he himself hates it.

I personally would’ve far preferred Perachel to be canon than Percab*th. Percy is always stressed about Annabeth, about doing the wrong thing where with Rachel feels like he can be himself, not like he has to live up to some invisible standard he can’t ever hope to meet.

I also, as I’ve written about before when discussing Percab*th is that Annabeth is not an essential character to HOO, and that she could’ve easily been interchanged for someone more interesting and dynamically different. I think Percy was sidelined to try and give Annabeth more purpose in the story. I also think Percy is consistently put down, berated and underestimated. He literally has people thinking he’s a god when he first meets them, that isn’t someone who lacks power. I also think Annabeth has always been a little bit scared of Percy to certain degree. Or at least acutely aware that she would not be able to put a fight if Percy turned on her and he put in a tiny bit of effort.

I also Percy is never given enough or really any recognition of everything he did. That he took the prophecy so it wouldn’t go to Nico. That he turned down immortality, not for Annabeth, but because of a promise he made to Luke and his years long stance that nothing is worth living forever for. I think the nuance of Percy as a character, and his ability to connect with and understand characters like Like and Ethan is severely underdeveloped. He has never been blind to the gods faults, he didn’t do what he did in the name of the gods. He did it for the campers, for the demigods who’d carry out their parents burdens simply because they had the audacity to be born. Demigods doomed to die from the moment they’re born because of their parents, like him. I particularly think Percy is too far often used as a scapegoat for Nico’s issues and often either villainised or dumbed down into a himbo.

It’s ridiculous, since Percy has repeatedly shown himself to have both better judgment and better strategising skills than Annabeth. Percy is better than Annabeth, and he has far more power than she ever will.

Percy is such an amazing and nuanced character with so much room to explore different characteristics he’s shown at different times and he is too often sidelined to boost another character (most often Annabeth and Nico)

Overall I don’t really like Annabeth, and I’ve yet to hear a viable reason as to why what she did should be ok. And I truly believe HOO did a disservice to Percy by dumbing him down, and making him reliant on Annabeth.

I hope you like my answer! Thank you so much for asking I absolutely love getting questions and I also love a chat so please feel free to keep it coming!

[rocketinthesky]

I’ve been thinking a lot about why a lot of people are starting to hate Lando sm and while i do think part of it does have to do with him just performing good and having a championship winning car, the other part might just be because he’s “changed” and he’s had a few “immature” moments so to speak. Like people are largely unhappy with his petty comments with Lewis in the cool down room (which yes as a lover of the norris boy i agree lashing out was childish and unnecessary), how he acted about Oscar’s first win (which to an extent ik why people are upset at Lando’s behaviour but…i can sympathise with both sides and can’t dislike him for that because it was a painful and complicated situation), and most recently his “cocky” comment after winning the dutch gp where he repeated Max’s signature line or wtv (which i myself didn’t see much issue with since they’re friends and Max himself didn’t show any significant emotion towards either).

A lot of it boils down to people calling Lando arrogant and perhaps him not “delivering” enough to be that arrogant and my opinion on that is: firstly) the whole SPORT is built on arrogance lol every single driver on the grid is competitive, arrogant, and so pumped full of adrenaline and rage that they say and do a lot of stupid shit when high on the emotions from a race. Literally every driver ever, from the grid now and from the past, has been far from perfect. Think Seb, the grid’s father even after retirement, hailed the nicest most genuine driver ever. Ya think he hasn’t had his cocky, fucked up moments? My mans was a MENACE in his prime. Yall need to stop wearing rose-tinted glasses for your favs lol. Max, who’s gotten into many childish altercations after races, like the infamous moment with Ocon and even last year with George. But no one criticizes Max to that degree (disclaimer: i don’t dislike any of the drivers i’m using as examples. I am a lover of all but that also means i criticize fairly). It’s fucked up to say you excuse certain behavior from someone just because they’re winning more or a better driver in your opinion. Very very fucked up to call someone who’s open about the mental struggles of being a racer “weak”. Lando’s far from perfect but so is every other driver on the grid.

They’re all human, they’re all clinically insane because only a crazy person would live their life riding at that speed for the thrill of it. They’re all heavily flawed, they’re all emotional beings. They have their moments of pettiness, aggression, immaturity, arrogance. This isn’t just in defense of Lando but of every driver on the grid. Stop putting them on a pedestal of unrealistic standards. They’re fuckin F1 drivers, some of the most fucked up (said fondly) species of human. And stop being hypocrites. It’s okay to criticize them, rather we should criticize them. I was and still am very vocal about how unnecessary Oscar’s recent comments about Stroll was, but it’s something i also won’t dwell on because it’s just part of the sport lol. I won’t hesitate to criticize any of them, even my favs, because that’s the healthy way to be a fan of someone. But mindlessly hating someone is so stupid. I mean ig u do u but if you’re gonna hate over dumb shit just be ready to get backlash over it lol

Anyways idk if this rant even made any sense.

Tl;dr - Lando’s shown some immature/“unlikeable” emotions like a normal human being and now everyone hates him for it despite ignoring the same behaviour from their favs. Lmfao. Peace out. Stay sane🫡

[s4toryuu]

inumaki headcanons — 2

notes: inumaki my beloved… as promised this one is a xreader, slice of life, reader wears dresses and is implied is a ‘girl’, toge goes viral on tiktok so kind of socmed!au

part 1

so like when you met him you thought he was mysterious at first

and then you were just like ??? he thinks he’s so cool not talking… geh, rude

so you start being cold to him for a while until one day he writes you a post-it asking you to go out to a cafe nearby

confused, you were interested in seeing his face and, like, you had nothing else to do so why not

you were apprehensive at first but you guys ordered the exact same drink and food without knowing and you got along because of it

that day you got really close even though it was mostly through his notes app (he types really fast)

you guys had the same humor (albeit he’s more outward and immature)

he took his mask down to eat and you, like, stopped chewing on your mochi waffle and started staring because you did not expect him to be so good-looking

and he definitely noticed because he started chuckling and he tried to hide it as he took a bite of his waffle

and oh my god his smile

a/n: ok I’m definitely writing this fic comment if you want to be tagged!!

you find out he’s really scared of making you do something you don’t wanna do, like terrified, like it’s his top 3 nightmares

the first couple of times you slept over he taped his mouth shut in case he sleep talked LMFAO

you only found out because you woke up earlier than him and you laughed almost waking him up

you guys getting together was a crazy feat tbh

he’s a gentleman

but he’s a troll first

like you were starting to think he just wanted to dress up fem after stealing your clothes for the 4th time

so you bought him a dress for his birthday

it wasn’t a cheap dress either (you bought it in your size) lol being a jujutsu tech student you couldn’t even spell broke so

one day during training he’s late and as you were about to check on him at his dorm he turns the corner and holy shit no fucking way

he’s wearing the fucking dress

he couldn’t zip it up so the open back was flapping around as he walked towards you with this exact smile :] on his face

it was supposed to be a maxi dress that ended at the calves but since it was in your size it ended at his knee

luckily (not) he was wearing sweatpants

everyone was so confused but gojo didn’t even make any comment he was just like “ok now that toge’s here..!”

you were dying while everyone was just confused whether he was serious in wearing the dress 😭😭😭 yuta was like “oh… you’re gonna wear that for training..?”

toge puts his hands in the pockets, emphasizing it “shake shake!” with a shit eating grin

“where’s your scarf thingy?” “it didn’t match with the dress :(” he typed

and he was deadass cuz he actually trained with it until it got in the way so he just took it off and he trained shirtless

but you weren’t complaining though hehehe

when you first made out you flinched in shock because you felt cursed energy from the marking on his tongue

you got addicted afterward…

I imagine him to have like really nice (?) aegyo sal and really pretty eyes

his love language (giving) is 10000% physical touch and teasing you

he does that “what’s that?” rizz shit and you fall for it every time

he went viral on tiktok for doing the dance to sekai no owari’s habit in his uniform because he did it COMPLETELY nonchalant despite shaking ass like he does it for a living

it was his first public tiktok too and it had 637.2k likes in 5 days

you’re like wtf and he’s just like the algorithms just love me (cuz he’s lwk famous on twt too)

the comments are like “lol how did his scarf not fall down” “oniisan were you forced to do this” “he looks like he would have a pretty face” “show us your face”

and then like yuuji (whos posts somewhat regularly) makes him do the kawaiikute gomen trend a month after toge’s habit tiktok and again he did it hella nonchalant

that one went crazy too it got 721.6k likes in 6 days

“this is the habit guy” “I knew he would have a cute face” “what’s with the weird makeup?” everyone’s just thirsting for him because he’s so nonchalant

you, and everyone who knows him, however, know that it’s a fuckING FACADE

he looks quiet and you’d think he would be cuz he can’t talk normally but he fucking yaps as if people understand him

he makes sure you know his opinion on everything

you’re watching a movie and he’s spitting “okaka! takana ikura ikura ikura!” every nine seconds

I mean he talks with the tone/intonation of what he actually means to say so it’s actually easy to understand him

and it’s only words he can’t say so he screams laughs and emotes like a normal teenage boy

he hates waking up early but you like taking walks in the morning sometimes and he never misses it for you

he loves you sm hehhehehe

part 3 coming soon! comment or submit an ask if you’d like to be tagged to the waffle cafe date!!

[twst-hottest-takes]

I might have missed somethings while writing this hot take.

Hot take: Sebek should like humans.

I find it weird Sebek hates humans, not just because he's half human half fae. I find it weird because this man grew up with a human father, a human loving mother, two older siblings, and it's even told in some events that Silver and Sebek grew up together.

And I would understand if Sebek didn't like human culture, or if he didn't like humans who couldn't use magic. BUT THIS GUY REALLY HATES EVERY HUMAN. And I get it Lilia pulled out the "He grew up with a grandpa who didn't like humans." But I just don't really understand it. Not only because of his family either. I don't get it because he's been away from Briar Valley before, he's been around humans (and presumably beastmen) as a child. So I really don't understand how his speciest grandpa had such an influence on him.

I also don't really understand why Malleus holds such a different opinion from Sebek. I mean the human and fae war kind of caused his mom to die. And while I don't know THAT much about Malleus's grandma, I feel like she wouldn't really like humans, considering Sebek's grandpa is arguably younger than Malleus's grandma.

And while I do know Malleus was mainly raised by Lilia, is royalty, and did have Silver in his life. Sebek knew Lilia from a young age, and knew Silver as well! If the kingdom is willing to accept a prince who likes humans, shouldn't the royal guards be required to like humans?

I do question how much time he spends with Grandpa Zigvolt.

Now, I don't collect Sebek cards or read every character vignette, but I am under the impression that Sebek just spends a lot more time with his grandfather than his older siblings. However, I don't think that answers the questions here. How much influence does that man have? How much of it is from holding grudges and has any of it been watered down after his daughter married a human? I feel like there has to be some other factor to Sebek's past that contributes to his current bigotry and overall Malleus simpery. Was he made fun of or ostracized for being half human when he was younger? Was he made fun of or ostracized for being half fae? As anon pointed out, you'd think he'd have much more going towards him being more favorable to humans.

Now this conversation has struck an idea in me and we'll see if it makes sense or explains anything:

Hypothetically: Sebek loves Malleus. Sebek wants to be close to Malleus. Sebek pledges his life into servitude to Malleus. Sebek goes to closed-minded grandpa to learn how best to be a royal guard. Sebek also learns from Lilia, but Lilia's influence is much subtler in terms of ideology whereas Baur is very passionate and vocal about his feelings concerning the inferiority of humans (while somehow not badmouthing his family?). Sebek is also very passionate and vocal and latches onto Baur's words and takes them very much to heart. Sebek, being a stupid teenager, refuses to see any nuance or notice any holes in the way grandpa speaks or treats his daughter's family and instead just spouts off a firm belief that humans are trash compared to fae. Sebek essentially took what he liked about what grandpa said and made it a much bigger part of his personality and mindset than was maybe intended and now he's an obnoxious loudmouth with incerdibly transparent bigotry.

Tl;dr: Sebek is a teenager who thinks he knows everything about something he's passionate about and had just enough influence from home to make him think he's absolutely correct and currently has little to know wiggle room in terms of his current harmful outlook. His personality might also predispose him to being very proud and stubborn on certain viewpoints once he has committed to them (most people usually have at least one thing in their lives like this. I hope the train of thought makes sense.).

The good news is, it's obviously a setup for character development. I believe he's supposed to be very immature and he'll grow out of it when he learns a bit more about things like empathy and understanding.

As for the comparison to Malleus, I think this post is long enough for now and that's something that could be discussed in a later post. Suffice it to say, it also got me thinking.

~I am sorry if I got lost in the weeds there! Thank you for the take.

(Also, in regards to the guards being required to like humans as a reflection of their prince, the answer is "No." They may be commanded to not harm or antagonize humans, but I doubt there's much in the way of rules thay say, "Human-haters can't be in the army.")

(Also, also, I am so sorry this took so long to respond to! I honestly sat on my hands too long wondering what picture to feature along with this post. *facepalm*)

[cheesecakeluvrs]

I don’t think that Rogue is in any way responsible for Remy’s, or anyones, feelings however I do think that the scenes with Magneto showed how emotionally immature she can be at times - she’s still stuck in that thirteen year old girl mindset that is fixated on physical contact. Most people who have been in relationships or dated around a bit know that there’s far more to them than just the physical side but Rogue has experienced none of that, just the carefully constructed relationship that Magneto (and Mystique) wanted her to have. She went from almost killing her first boyfriend to being involved with a much older man who is able to give her the thing she’s been desperate for - physical touch. Rogue has never had a chance to experience all the in-between bits or understand that not everything needs to revolve around kissing and physical intimacy. With all of that combined its understandable that she sometimes doesn’t realise that her actions can hurt those around her. 

Then up pops Remy who is so full of life and fun and makes it obvious from the get-go that he’s into her. But he’s also been consistently shown to enjoy just spending time with her or doing things that have no relation to physical contact. I don’t think Rogue has the experience or understanding that those things can be just as intimate in a relationship as kissing or sex. Thats why she keeps fixating on the physical side and when that doesn’t work she’s understandably devastated.

For Rogue it feels like a win to realise that Remy is the one she wants, touch or no touch, and seeks him out without registering that this is a potentially cruel thing to do, because she can’t quite see outside of her own wants and needs. I think if she’d had a few relationships under her belt then Rogue would have realised that, regardless of intention, she had hurt Remys feelings with the dancing and the kissing - even if he didn’t see it, it’s not like nobody is going to tell Remy. 

On Remys part its just another instance where he is yet again nobodies first choice; his bio parents didn’t want him, Jean-Luc left him out on the streets until he was of use to the Guild then kicked him out again and the Xmen at times have one rule for him and completely different set of rules for everybody else re Antartica. Rogue turning around and deciding that she wants him barely ten minutes after telling him that she’d rather be with Magneto is only going to pick at these insecurities because Remy has his own trauma to deal with, trauma that isn’t directly related to his powers, kind of the opposite to Rouge which is a nice parallel. Again, most people who have dated would have clocked this and perhaps taken a different route. 

Anyway, sorry for the essay, i just really liked your post and I don’t think its fair to put Remys hurt feelings on Rogue. However I would have loved to have seen them have that conversation so that Rogue could have had some growth in terms of relationships. I love her but it can feel a bit one sided at times in that her feelings are always to be tended to first, regardless of what has happened.

Who knows, maybe we'll see that if we get Death Remy...

Yeah this definitely isn’t the end of the drama and all this is so true! Rogue has had so little experience with love so she is just very confused. She also can’t help the fact that she realized she wanted Remy RIGHT after rejecting him. Her whole life has been the same old chasing and yearning for touch and now she’s faced with the choice of either touch or feelings so she really doesn’t know what to do. She’s faced with all these realizations at once so maybe it’s a good things she’s not going to be getting into a relationship with Gambit right away. She needs some experience with relationships but right now she’s having way too much and I think she needs a little break to really understand her feelings.

[dollypopup]

adaptations, relatability, and the internal landscape of the polin fandom

polin fandom is an interesting place to be in right about now. having been here for a good while, it's been fascinating to see it through the changes. and i think it's particularly interesting because we are currently on the knife's edge of a full split in fan thinking. why? well, i would say that it's because of the biggest change between the show and the books: age

we went from a story between a 28 year old woman established in her career and accepting the shape of her life and a 33 year old man untethered from his feelings and desires, attempting to be what society wants of him coming together after more than 10 years of little moments to a '2 years pining for him is too long' love story between a 19 year old woman still figuring out who she is and what she wants to say and how to say it and a 22 year old man who is ultimately isolated not necessarily from his own feelings but particularly from much of everyone else

that is to say, in particular with age: they are living a reflection of Violet and Edmund's early love story. not necessarily their own in the original source material. and that, of course, will have an impact

Polin's romance as it is now is vastly different and i see that echoed in the fandom, as well. there's been a massive change in how it was even just a year ago. if you look through the archives, this is very evident. namely, now it skews much more immature, mostly because the couple themselves are immature. I don't say immature as an insult, either. I say it in a much more objective way. See, Polin went from being the oldest pair to fall in love to the youngest. that will have a drastic impact on their narrative. as well as the fandom. fans of early material are more of the mind of 'i want them to pine for so long and so intensely that when he FINALLY tells her he loves her we collapse on the floor' whereas fans of current material are in the '2 years??? girl move on, there are plenty more fish in the sea'

and it causes a wide divide, though there is less discussion about it. the fandom has flattened into a few different tropes with much more tension between them because, ultimately, i think we are fans of different couples. or, at least, differing dynamics. and so we have differing, oftentimes completely opposing wants for their outcome

the Polin I first fell in love with took an entire decade to marinate and blend together. Penelope pined for years realizing that it was fruitless and eventually coming to recognize that her love was, ultimately, for her. and she accepted that. and she was content. she had accepted who she was and any changes she made were for herself. this appeals to an older demographic, a demographic who relates to that particular story. who loved and lost and realized that's a part of life. who love and lose and love, still. this Penelope follows a long, rich line of career women characters who come home to their pets and a to-do list and live meaningful lives through that. love comes around and catches them off guard, and they suddenly live the whirlwind romance of their dreams

likewise with Colin, he'd been running for years, looking and exploring and trying to find who he, ultimately, was. and he failed. failed the way so many of us will and do. he failed for a decade. he wanted to live up to the shadow his father left, the shadow his older brother casts, and he couldn't. he looked for meaning in other places and didn't find it. he didn't find it at 21. or 25. or 29. or 31. he was purposeless and confused, he had no direction and he was 33 going 34. no job, no future, just a rut he kept walking in hoping eventually the depth of routine would provide meaning and it didn't. ultimately, he realizes that the person who can push him and knock him off his axis is the person who has been there all along, and he falls fast and hard, making up for lost time in the euphoria of that

in this universe: their romance is them clicking together like two parts of a model railroad. Colin feeling jealous that Penelope found *her* purpose, right there in Mayfair, and he couldn't. that she became brave because she accepted who she was internally, and that he was afraid to show who HE was because he was so accustomed to being what other people wanted him to be. that they learned from one another in that aspect. Penelope learning to flourish externally and Colin learning to be content internally. like a hand hold where the fingers fill the spaces.

but Colin in the show has no reason to feel any pressure about not having found his purpose because he's twenty-two. Who amongst us found our purpose at TWENTY-TWO? I sure as shit didn't. And this lowers the stakes for him and the emotional impact of that. He's meant to be aimless and making mistakes. It's more than acceptable. In his early to mid thirties? That carries different weight. And same for Penelope. a 28 year old woman content with who she is and her choices in life is relatable to different people than a 19 year old throwing anything at the wall and seeing if it will stick whenever something goes wrong. and that also carried different weight for her because like. . . when i was 19 i was still sniffing scented markers until i was dizzy. of COURSE she's bumbling and fucking up.

Penelope in the show is young and confused, she's trying her best and she's fucking up in it. She's attached so much of her existence to WHAT she does as opposed to WHO she is. This is relatable to many, many people. People early in their careers, particularly. People fresh in school. People trying to 'make it'. She's made mistakes she now has to learn how to bounce back from because they're some of her early messes, as opposed to her counterpart who has already done that work. Instead of coming to an internal understanding of herself, she looks for external validation through her work. Penelope in the show is more akin to a tea-channel as opposed to a 'Ask Miss Manners' column. she cares about what her viewership says, as though she is checking the comments. she obsessed over the criticism, as an early start influencer would. her story is coming to a contentment internally. this is work that book Penelope has already done in her own love story

Colin, likewise, is similarly young and confused, but interestingly, more aware of who he is. When he tells Penelope that he came to understand himself on his travels, if he's being honest, then he is already farther ahead in his maturity than *his* counterpart. He is more introspective, vs. being able to read a room. His charm is different. Whereas in the book, Colin was traveling to find external validation, in the show, Colin travels to find internal validation. And he finds it. It is not a lack of understanding of *himself* that has him unable to see what is in front of him, but rather time. Colin has mostly known Penelope from when she was a minor. It makes sense he doesn't see her in a romantic light. Colin is still lost in the sauce, but in a different way. He's lost in the goings-on of his family and the world around him. He is trying to bridge what he knows of himself with what he is told being a Man is and coming to terms with the fact that he doesn't have to subscribe to someone else's ideal of manhood to be, himself, well established. Colin, in the show, has done the work that Colin in the books is actively engaged in for his story.

we, as a result, are trying to bridge what the book and show are, and that causes tension. there has been a LOT of tension in this fandom because all these changes, ultimately, flip Polin's dynamic. This is where the 'she should have multiple suitors' vs. 'no, that makes no sense for her narrative' comes from. This is where 'it's a much better story if he's jealous of her finding her purpose' vs. 'what? nah, he should be the green eyed monster when she dances w/ someone else' comes from. This is the 'she would never ignore him like that, they're meant to be friends' vs. 'boi fucked up, she has every right to ghost him' comes from. we ship, essentially, two different couples.

well, two different dynamics, at the very least.

add in how they changed LW and you have a perfect storm. book readers and fans are relatively horrified by how Penelope uses LW to punch down repeatedly, whereas show fans see LW as a means of empowerment. this is also a case of age. s!Penelope does not have the time under her belt to recognize that she has other options. LW is *a* option, but s!Penelope makes it *the* option. VS in the book, LW is very much more of a 'this happened today' type of situation. She doesn't publish about her friends, she doesn't agonize, she doesn't commit harms. LW is her triumph because it is a decade-long publication that occupied her time and gave her days meaning. LW in the show is a two years long scandal sheet that has actively pushed away her close connections.

i'm fascinated for how the show is also going to bridge the source material with the current love story they're depicting and how that will change the fandom once more. it feels like we're somewhere between the before and the after of it all, standing in the middle of the rope bridge

it makes sense to me that it's a bit rickety, then, all things considered