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trainsinanime · 4 years ago

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Let’s talk about railway electrification systems; not so much because any of you care but because I want to talk about it (and because I talked with some people about it on Twitter recently and had a lot of fun with that).

There are four main voltages that overhead lines for european railroads can have (and most of this translates to other countries as well):

1500 V DC

3000 V DC

15000 V AC at 16.7 Hz frequency

25000 V AC at 50 Hz (aka normal) frequency

These are generally divided along country lines; every country has one (or somtimes two) of these that it uses, usually chosen without any regard for what their neighbours used. Why?

Well, because back at the start of the 20th century, everyone had different ideas and different trade-offs and different decisions, and those choices made sense to them at the time. Many of these factors have changed since; for example, after World War 1, France explicitly decided on 1500 V DC so that german locomotives (running on 15 kV AC) could not run into the country. It made sense then, it’s a pain in the butt now.

But why those values in particular, and what were the tradeoffs?

The Motor

The key for that is the “Universal Motor” (for my german-speaking followers: Einphasen-Reihenschlussmotor), a type of electric motor that was the standard for electric railways and many other applications from the first electric locomotives until 1980.

I’m not going to go into details; the important part is that this motor is essentially a DC motor, but due to its wiring, it can also run on AC. There’s a bit of an issue, though: Powerful universal motors don’t really run well at industrial frequencies (50-60 Hz); they prefer lower ones. Other than that, the motor is bulletproof and powerful and easily the best thing that doesn’t require computer control.

Your standard railway spec motor, small enough to fit comfortably into the running gears of a train, will take somewhere between 600 V and 750 V (with quite a wide margin at either end). To this day, most streetcar systems, subways, and some odd commuter rail lines (in particular most of the south of England) use just those 600-750 V directly, as DC current, because the motor runs better that way.

More Power

But low voltage means low power. Power is voltage times current, and more current means generating more heat in the overhead power lines. For a given level of power, having more volts means needing less current, which is better for the power lines. And any design of power line will have a hard limit of how many amps of current you can send through it before it’ll melt. You can build lines for more current, but that’s expensive.

The low power does not only mean that each individual train gets a low amount of power, but also that the number of trains in a given section has to be low. So you need a lot of power supply stations (substations).

So the first idea was to connect two universal motors in series. That takes 1500 V, and you get either twice the power at the same current, or need half the current for the same power. That is what is used for example in the Netherlands, France and Japan.

1500 V is still fairly low, though, so why not double that? For 3000 V DC, you connect all four motors in your typical four-axle train car in series. Again, more power, less current. That system is used in Belgium, Spain, Italy, Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia, former Soviet Union and a couple of others.

You can’t really go beyond that, though, at least with 1920s tech. Your modern USB charger is actually an incredible feat of engineering; it took decades to reach that level. At the time, if the DC voltage you got out of the power station didn’t match your needs, then there was no easy solution.

Transformation Sequence

This was not true for AC power, where you can use a transformer, an incredibly simple piece of technology. With AC, you can essentially use as high a voltage as you want. The limit here is insulation: The higher the voltage, the more space you need to have between the roof of the locomotive and the wires, and between wires and bridges and so on. The European countries that went that route settled on 15000 Volts as a good compromise.

The problem with that is that the universal motor doesn’t like 50 Hz (or 60 Hz) frequency that you get from the normal grid. The solution is to run the whole thing with less frequency. That’s why the frequency in the line is 16.7 Hz (originally 16 2/3rds Hz). This system, 15000 V AC at 16.7 Hz, is used in Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Norway and Sweden (but notably not Denmark), and it has stood the test of time well. For the Americans reading this, the 12 kV at 25 Hz used in the north-east by the Pennsylvania and Reading railroads is essentially the same thing, just slightly different values.

The problem with this thing is that you absolutely need that transformer. And, for reasons that I don’t quite understand, the lower your frequency, the larger your transformer has to be. 16.7 Hz is fairly low, so you need a very heavy transformer. Compared to a low-voltage DC system, you need fewer substations and a less expensive overhead line, but you need more expensive and heavier locomotives. That is a very real trade-off: Many of the DC countries have a long history of small, quick EMUs, while it took much longer for AC systems to develop those; they required heavy locomotives or much heavier EMUs.

Trade-offs

In the 1920s and 1930s, when the foundations of modern electric networks were laid, these were the systems and considerations available, and given the train performances at the time, it’s hard to argue that anyone really choose wrongly. I keep saying that 1500 V means low power, but the french reached a world record for high speed trains at 331 km/h (a bit over 200 mph) in 1955 with that system.

High Frequency

In the 1930s, hungarian engineer Kálmán Kandó, already an incredibly important figure in the development of modern electric trains, developed phase converters for railway use, which changed the game completely. These things were at the time heavy mechanical devices that combined a motor and a generator, and could transform any sort of electricity into any other. This means you can use the normal 50 or 60 Hz power that comes from the national grid, and then transform them into something else in the locomotive, instead of using some weird 16.7 Hz thing. This means cheaper lineside equipment and smaller transformers. You need the converter, but that pays off almost immediately.

(I'm over-simplifying here; there is a number of technologies and types of motors that allow using 50 Hz; the phase converter was the first, but is far from the only.)

Railways at the time were very interested in that, but then there was a whole second world war, which put everything on hold for a while. After the war, engineers in various countries perfected it, and along bumped up the voltage to 25000 V for more power with not that much more insulation required (the one exception to this is Japan, which went for 20000 V instead). This 25 kV at 50 Hz (or 60 Hz where applicable) is nowadays generally considered the best system if you can choose freely.

All countries that have 1500 V or 3000 V also have more or less extensive networks with 25 kV 50 Hz; sometimes just for high-speed lines, often for about half the country. A number of countries that started electrification comparatively late only have 25 kV 50 Hz. The countries that already have 15 kV 16.7 Hz have stuck with it, though; 25 kV 50 Hz is better, but not so much better that it justified all the expense of adding a new system.

(Exceptions exist but are very rare; feel free to ask me about the Rübelandbahn.)

Modern Locomotives

On the locomotive side, things have drastically changed starting in the late 1970s. Thanks to modern microelectronics and modern power electronics (sadly nobody calls them macroelectronics), phase and voltage converters have become small, lightweight and incredibly versatile; they’ll convert anything to anything else and back if you design them properly. That makes it relatively simple to build a locomotive or EMU that can use all of these different voltages, something that used to be quite a major engineering feat.

The default approach as of right now is that you have a big transformer (no way around that, for now) for AC voltages, with different output settings for 15 and 25 kV (this was always easy). It has to be the 16.7 Hz size, sadly. The output voltage in the 1500-3000 V range gets turned to DC. If you’re running under DC, you just use that DC directly. No matter how you got that DC, you’re now putting it into another converter (typically one per wheel set or one per bogie), which turns it into three-phase AC, at a frequency that corresponds to the speed you want to go. This sounds complicated, but works well in practice, to the point that all new locomotives nowadays support either both 1500 V DC and 3000 V DC, or both 15 kV AC and 25 kV AC, or all four. You can’t get a new e.g. 15 kV AC locomotive anymore. Even ones that are designed just for one country and advertised as doing only 15 kV will actually be able to run with 25 kV, just because nobody thought it worth the effort to design a 15 kV only transformer.

(This is not true for EMUs, since those are designed to run mostly locally instead of through the entire continent. You can get them in multiple voltage, but most are designed for just one.)

Where do we go from here?

The current system is a mess that is interesting to me, but a bit of a problem for railroads. In the olden days, you’d just change the locomotive at the border anyway, so it didn’t matter much; but nowadays you want to run your freight train from Rotterdam to Genua non-stop if you can. While multi-system locomotives have become a lot cheaper than they used to be, the whole thing is still very annoying for cross-border traffic. It's not the only annoying thing about european cross-border rail traffic, but it's a factor.

Also, train sizes, speeds and power requirements have increased drastically (air conditioning in passenger trains is actually a big deal in terms of power use). AC systems have been able to cope; DC systems less so. Both Belgium and the Netherlands have quite a lot of diesel locomotives pulling freight trains on electric lines, because they can simply produce more power. One manufacturer offers electric locomotives (the Stadler Euro9000) that have a diesel motor to boost the power under DC (and for shunting on tracks that have no overhead lines). Clearly, the old DC system needs to go.

But that’s easier said than done. Converting a line to 25 kV is quite expensive. You need new insulators at every single overhead line mast, but even more importantly, you need to check for safety clearance at every bridge over the railway, and, if necessary, raise bridges or lower tracks accordingly. Tunnels get even more fun. And, of course, all line side power equipment needs to be swapped out. This isn't impossible, but it is very expensive, and while it has happened in some places, it hasn’t happened a lot.

The Netherlands, for example, are currently running on 1.5 kV DC and did consider switching to 25 kV AC. All modern equipment there actually has a bit of empty space where you can fit a transformer. But the cost of upgrading the lines was judged too high. Right now ProRail, the company in charge of the network, is proposing upgrading from 1.5 kV to… 3 kV DC, of all things. It seems like a minor deal, but it still allows doubling the power output, for much less cost. Will it happen? No clue.

Meanwhile, in France, there is research going to make use of the new electronics. Researchers there figure that 9 kV DC is something you can do very well; modern electronics should allow stepping that down even more efficiently than a big 50 Hz transformer could. This seems to be mainly because the government does not want to pay to change the 1500 Volt lines there to 25 kV.

On the other end of the spectrum, the topic of 50 kV AC keeps popping up every now and then. A few lines like that already exist, most notably a large one in South Africa. In the US, the Black Mesa and Lake Powell railway used this system and ran coal trains from a mine to a power station; it's closed since 2019, because the power plant closed, because shale gas and renewables are just plain cheaper than coal. It's an interesting bit of railway history lost, but definitely a net win for the planet.

From a technical point of view, there's nothing particularly difficult about this. The Black Mesa and Lake Powell actually used a number of locomotives built for 25 kV and just changed the windings in the main transformer. The big problem is safety distances, which are much bigger than for 25 kV. There is no mainstream push for 50 kV at the moment, but it keeps coming up in discussions about "should US railroads electrify their lines" as a possibility.

Finally, in the 15 kV countries, there is some thought about 15 kV at 50 Hz. In Germany, the idea is to use this for short recharging sections for electric trains with batteries. Using 50 Hz saves the expense of a frequency converter. Personally, I don't see why those sections couldn't be 25 kV, but I guess it makes things a bit cheaper (EMUs, unlike locomotives, still come in 15 kV only versions).

In the US, this is actually already a thing; some lines in the North-East (I think primarily for New Jersey Transit) were changed from 12 kV 25 Hz to 12.5 kV 60 Hz when the 1920s era line-side equipment needed replacing. For the newer trains there, this requires at most a software update.

So… that’s the current situation. It’s not likely to get better any time soon, and if the french 9kV DC plans go through, it may actually get a bit worse, but modern locomotive technology has evolved to cope. There’s no point to this post, I just think it’s fun.

#railroads #trains #rail electrification #voltage #overhead line #locomotives

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gyromitra-esculenta · 3 years ago

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Misery is the Drug in Your Veins 1

Dead Dove Mob/Yakuza AU

Hanzo has a problem threatening Shimada-gumi’s working relationship with Reaper’s organization: the altercation between his shit-for-brains men and Reaper’s kid’s bodyguard that ended with blood spilled. It’s his responsibility to smooth things over and offer an appropriate apology.

Over two years earlier, working deep undercover in Reyes’ family, Jack finds himself with his cover blown and his very life a balancing act on a tightrope.

Warnings: Serious Dead Dove, ncs, dubious/coerced consent, ncs drug use, violence (like people buried alive at night in woods in future or mentions of necklacing), abuse, objectification, ptsd, cptsd, fawning, no-one is objectively good, etc - also Hanzo & Genji being bros.

He should have taken the coat, not just the scarf, Jack thinks, observing the falling snowflakes, big and fluffy. Probably the first snow, too, all poetic and shit. He just needed some space to breathe and clear his mind, if only for a moment - hitching a ride with Amelie and Jesse on their morning trip to the shore seemed like a good idea then, not so much now.

To his left, Amelie speaks into her phone in angry spitfire French. Jack sighs and closes his eyes as he leans his head back against the wooden post. Should've taken the coat, he's too fucking cold. Cold enough to shiver.

"Will you die?" Jesse asks and Jack cracks one eye open. He can hear the sirens getting closer - he also feels the blood seeping through the fingers of the hands he keeps pressed to his side - and he's so fucking cold.

"I don't know," Jack answers sincerely, "but Gabe's gonna be angry with me, for sure..."

Jesse nods solemnly and puts his own hands on his - Christ, he's what, seven? The kid's seven, Jack needs to remind himself, and asking him if he's going to die now, and no child should do that ever, but he's just tired and fucking freezing.

It doesn't even hurt anymore and the sirens are getting away.

The car ride through the early winter landscape takes over an hour. The serpentine road leading up the mountain mansion is cleared of snow - and at this point, observing the scenery passing by the window, Hanzo is considering making a damn PowerPoint presentation. If it will save him from this kind of headache in the future, it will be worth it. Maybe he will even delegate the task to Genji. Speaking of whom, as the car turns around and rolls to a stop in front of the mansion, Genji is the first out with a cigarette in his hand.

Hanzo waits for Daichi to open his door.

The air is chilly but not enough for the snow to linger for more than a few days unless the temperature drops further. Hanzo would spend a moment to appreciate it under any other circumstances.

The angry European woman, underdressed for the weather, leans on the banister of the balcony and glares death at them. Another variable Hanzo’s unfamiliar with.

"Get back in the car."

Genji waves his cigarette.

"I just light..."

"The car, now."

Genji swears in a protest but complies. Good. Hanzo needed him to only show his face around, anyway, so it’s known he’s taking the situation with all the seriousness expected.

The woman above raises her chin and turns away from the banister, disappearing from his sight. He's expecting to meet her inside.

Hanzo walks past the first car, nodding to his people as he passes them. The hall is hot, and Hanzo entertains for a moment the notion Americans have absolutely no moderation in anything. He lets Daichi take his coat and leaves him behind in the vestibule, following one of the two guards deeper into the house. Up the stairs, the mercenary lets him into the day room connected to the balcony. Through the glass doors, he can see it's far more spacious than it appears from the outside.

The woman from earlier sits in a wicker chair, drinking something warm from a cup. The kid, dressed more appropriately in a sweater and a cap, plays with toy cars on the floor, pausing once in a while to talk at her - by the movement of the steam above the rim of the cup he can follow her answers.

Hanzo sits down on the couch.

When he was much younger, he believed in all the tall tales of honor, whole-heartedly even, before he had realized it was just a pretty word for bruised egos and petty vendettas of the vain. And as such, the vulgar display of power before him is merely that.

"Shimada," Reaper raises his glass minutely without offering. The whore, half-sitting on the floor with face leaning on his thigh, bound and gagged - thankfully covered with a thrown on yukata - either pretends not to notice the audience or is completely out of it. Hanzo fixates for a moment on a darker patch on Reaper's trousers, obviously wet with drool and gods know what else. He's even marginally curious if the whore's going to be one of those he has to arrange for a discrete cleanup after, one of the obligations of the agreement negotiated by his father, both the supply and the subsequent removal.

"I've become aware of an... incident involving some of my men. I want to extend my sincere apologies and assure you they will be disciplined appropriately."

"Will they?" Reaper sips his drink.

They certainly are already very sorry, is what Hanzo would want to say, since your minder sent all three of them running, and two, in the aftermath, to the urgent care. He settles for the appropriate prostration.

"I will personally ensure a situation like this won’t repeat."

"My property was put at risk."

The negotiation stage, at last. If such a thing ever came to be, Hanzo dearly hoped he himself would never refer to his own child, or their mother, as his property, though he harbors no such futile delusions where his own future is concerned.

"We will offer the customary tribute."

"I demand the full retribution."

"It was a grave mistake but it would be a far too drastic action to undertake."

"I don't think you understand the severity of the situation, Shimada," Reaper smiles and inclines forward, setting the glass between them on the table while his other hand pets the whore's hair. He leans back against the couch, pulling at the gripped between his fingers hair, forcing the whore to straighten frantically to follow his movement. One of those gags, Hanzo notes in the back of his mind, watching the man's throat as he seizes and tries to fight for his breath with his changing position. The cloth slips off his frame, revealing the stitches on his left side and the reddened flesh underneath.

It's the distinctive scars that make Hanzo realize he had read the situation wrong, right from the very start. Whatever Reaper sees in his face is enough for him to let go of the man's hair and allow him to fall back against his thigh with a small sound of distress.

Hanzo was never in a position to negotiate.

"I'll arrange for the place and the time."

"See that you do, Shimada."

Halfway down the mountain, Genji finally asks.

"So, what's it gonna be? Fingers?" Hanzo holds his hand out to him and Genji, sighing, gives him his flask. "What, their balls and dicks?"

When Hanzo drinks more before passing the flask back to him, Genji grimaces.

"They just pestered the chick and knifed the hired muscle, that's a bit much."

"Only he wasn't a hired muscle."

"What, some family?"

Hanzo looks out of the window.

"Genji, do you remember, when the old man sent us to pick up the kid from the airport?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"The junkie."

Standing outside of the terminal with the kid in his arms and a backpack, with a duffel bag full of money on the ground. Obviously lost and confused, suffering from withdrawal if one knew what to look for, and ready to bolt if anyone as much as tried to approach him - with months-old scars slashed across his face, and another one along the left side of his head, barely hidden under the hair.

And he would run if Hanzo didn't have the foresight to instruct his men to surround him; even made a panicked move before a strange resignation took him over and he quietly followed them to the car - not letting go of the kid even as he tore into the packet Hanzo provided him with and swallowed the pills dry, high as a kite already when they finally arrived at their destination and made the exchange, staying long enough to see him and the kid escorted to the mansion.

"Yeah, what about that one?" Genji flippantly takes a swig from the flask.

"It was him, and he's his woman."

"Shit." Genji meets his eyes, then continues in an unfamiliar display of sympathy. "I'll get everything ready, you just pass the word."

"Thank you." And Hanzo means it.

It's not the first time that Hanzo considers Genji would be a much better fit for the position, if not for his rambunctiousness, and some other quirks seen as weaknesses and not the strengths they were. Nevertheless, it was far more likely it would be Genji providing the heir, either by design or by accident, Hanzo idly thinks by the way of distraction from his current task, which is delivering a signed death warrant on his own men. They were foolish and young, their deaths superfluous, and yet...

The Chinese were good partners if one traded in lives - and Shimada-gumi partook in it - but drugs and firepower were a whole different matter altogether. The triads were unwilling to part with the total control, so if the man who provided the connections and his network wanted a blood tribute, he got the damn blood tribute. Too bad he never got to know what the old man paid for the deal they've inherited, but merely seeing him squirm over it was sure worth the price.

Hanzo sits on the couch just as the maid – Filipino, if he were to guess - finishes pouring the tea into what appears to be his designated cup out of the four on the table. The host is absent, as is the angry European woman; he can put the time it affords him to some use.

The indirect source of his headache is half-lying, half-sitting on the cushions on the floor. The kid, working on a picture, is sitting between the table and his legs. Hanzo observes for a moment, trying to look past the preconceptions and circumstances skewing his perception. The man is relaxed and definitely under the influence, be it painkillers or something else altogether, and except for the initial glance, he ignores Hanzo completely, staring off into space. Hardly frail, in a physical sense of the world. His physique is maintained. A wide bruise that wasn’t there before is circling his neck.

"I don't believe we were introduced," Hanzo clears his throat, extending his hand over the table. "Shimada Hanzo."

The man flicks his eyes at Hanzo's palm before returning to looking at an unspecified point in the air.

"...Jack."

But his lips were forming a different sound at the beginning before Jack apparently caught himself.

"I see," Hanzo puts his hand back on his thigh. "Can I ask you something, Jack?"

Jack shrugs noncommittally, with the accompaniment of subtle clinking.

"Thank you." Hanzo spares a glance to the kid busy adding copious amounts of red crayon to the picture. "This might be an inappropriate discussion for a child."

Jack shrugs again - there's the metallic sound once more - and answers without looking.

"I shot his mother in front of him."

That's... definitely, one way of saying it doesn't matter what's discussed. Hanzo purses his lips, mulling over how to proceed, when the kid puts the crayon back on the table and looks at him.

"Mom killed dad and wanted to kill Jack," the kid smiles and grabs the black crayon this time. Jack at first just stares at the boy, then Hanzo feels his surprised attention on himself as if, somehow, Jack had consciously noticed him only now, biting his lip in what could be apprehension or anxiety. Intriguing, how his focus wavers immediately, prompting Hanzo to continue with caution, to sustain it.

"Can you tell me, Jack, how you got the scars on your face?"

Jack mulls the question over.

"Glass. It was... a window, and the bomb went off..." His voice trails off. Fair enough. The cuts must've been clean and deep, missing both of his eyes by a close margin.

"Jack." The man's wandering gaze snaps back to Hanzo at hearing his name, again. "And the burn on your neck?"

"...gun." Jack doesn't elaborate on it. Hanzo keeps the momentum up and does not push for the information that is not provided freely.

"The scars on the chest, Jack?" As soon as Jack parses the question, the additional nervousness builds up in his shoulders. The metallic clinking is back. He answers with a barely perceptible stutter.

"...Afghanistan."

Either military or mercenary, might be both. Running convoys, possibly; maybe this is the connection Hanzo's looking for to sate his personal curiosity, but the further line of questioning is best saved for later.

"Jack," Hanzo calls the man's wandering attention back to himself, again. "And the scar on the left side of your head, Jack?"

Jack freezes for a moment before both of his hands fly up to cover his hair there - handcuffed and used to it, judging by the flawless coordination - the reddened skin around the wrists has an oily wet shine to it.

"No, it's not visible, Jack," Hanzo finds himself trying to placate him with his open palms showing and reaching over the table. The unexpected manner of an animal gulping air and ready to lash out reminds him of all the times he had to talk Genji down from whatever bad high he'd been on. "I've seen it before. Before. There's nothing to see now, Jack. Nothing."

The change is gradual. Jack's expression settles back into an impassive mask as his hands slowly return to their previous position. Hanzo lets the matter rest, sparing a glance at the kid unperturbed by the incident and happy to be left alone working on his picture.

"I failed to blow my brains out," Jack delivers in a flat voice bereft of any inflection. There's something disturbingly familiar in his words and eyes Hanzo cannot pin down, not now at least, but the impression of the fact that he had seen it somewhere before remains. Puzzle pieces to be assembled together later - if he finds enough of the missing parts to create the image or at least the idea of the image.

"That's all that I wanted to ask, Jack," Hanzo focuses on the cup he reaches for, still feeling the uncomfortable stare of blue eyes bore into him.

Over time, he grew accustomed to the western idea of what tea is - made with much too hot water and too many leaves - and marinated. The one in the cup has a lovely red coloring and smells deeply of tannin. The taste is tart and bitter, with a smidge of sweet fermentation. From the corner of his eye, Hanzo can still see Jack observing him with unnerving intensity. He tries to remain unbothered by it while sipping his tea, idly noting it would be acceptable as a sweetened drink when watered down.

The uncomfortable moment lasts until Jack shifts his whole posture, best described as a scramble to prop himself up on his hands - the reason obvious when the host enters Hanzo's field of vision - the whole of it a ridiculous approximation of a pet reacting to its beloved owner.

As ridiculous as Hanzo's own refusal to refer to the man as 'Reaper' in the confines of his own mind, but the fact some of his people took to calling him 'Shinigami' is even more preposterous, and he will take no part in this absurd game unless otherwise required. And, even being in a position of a supplicant - again - he will not vie for the attention that at the same time he is owed as a guest. The whole situation leaves Hanzo with a substantial quandary to navigate while he goes through the mental list of all the interdependencies. Not for the first time, he's more than curious what the old man had offered his current host in the introductory package - but definitely not the mansion itself. Hanzo had discreetly investigated all the details of the acquisition of the property and nothing came up, except for the fact that it had been allowed to be bought out by a foreigner. If he were to hazard a cautious guess, it almost looked like a cozy retirement plan.

Hanzo sips on his tea, watching the interaction before him play out: at the same time put off and fascinated by it. Jack strains, the corner of his lips Hanzo can see from his vantage point twitches. The position he put himself in must be forcing pressure on the stitches that punches through whatever pain medication - or anything else - he's on. The host takes ahold of his jaw - definitely not a gentle grip but probably not bruising - and pulls him up even higher, enough that Jack now has to brace his palms on the table to keep balance and minimize the strain on his side. Hanzo has the unsettling notion he's being privy to something far too intimate to be displayed during what is basically a business meeting. While he does understand the difference in the sensibilities, this is too much, with how Jack keeps his eyes trained on the man. As soon as the so-far hidden from the view pipette is raised, he opens his mouth obediently.

Hanzo counts three drops, a pause, and then the fourth one like an afterthought. Free from the grip, Jack remains at attention until the host pats his cheek in dismissal. At this, he eases off slowly, sinking down until he rests his forearms on the edge of the table and reaches for his teacup, downing it in a fashion that makes it clear he's trying to get rid of a displeasing taste in his mouth. All things aside, on its own, it is an impressive maneuver to be pulled off while being impaired both by the cuffs and the sustained injury, not to mention the medication. Hanzo makes a note of it, moving Jack up several rungs in his personal risk assessment. He's dangerous, maybe on par with the angry woman, who, at the moment, seems to be absent from the meeting.

"Don't worry about your little earlier chat, Shimada."

Ah. Hanzo had been caught snooping for information, not that he really counted on it to go unnoticed. The question, how much his host, now sitting in front of him, cares about this perceived invasion of privacy.

"He won't remember it."

Apparently, not as much as Hanzo would expect, but another possibility opens: a warning that Jack won't recognize him as an ally down the line. He might be overthinking it. Probably is, and, feeling the warning bells of borderline paranoia, Hanzo glances at Jack now reclining back on the pillows with his eyes half-closed.

The kid remains unbothered by it all, focused fully on his artwork.

"I understand," Hanzo begins, reaching into his front pocket for a card he places face down on the table - keeping his fingers on the laminated paper. "Regarding our previous discussion..." He slides the card towards the host. "I hope the time and the place are acceptable."

The man observes him with the most irritating smirk on his face, barely noticeable but definitely there. It's his frayed nerves, Hanzo decides when the host finally leans forward and he pulls his hand away from the piece of paper, straightening his posture. Only, the man picks up his cup.

"I'm sure there will be no scheduling conflicts for this event."

'Event'. Hanzo will murder his own people in cold blood. Idiots of mythological proportions, true, but still his people. Business oiled with blood, like any other. The loud clack of a crayon put down with force on the table startles him - Hanzo hopes his face doesn't show it. The kid gets up and steps over Jack's legs, going for the cupboards on the other side of the room.

"Did you finish your classes?" The host asks, not breaking the eye contact.

"In the morning," the kid answers as he retrieves what looks to be a handheld game from the drawer before making his way back to the table.

"Okay then." The host smiles, almost fondly. Nodding at that. "Children," he adds as a means of the explanation that's unneeded. "Now, where were we?"

"I believe this was all, unless..." The man sets the cup back - untouched - and rises from the couch. Hanzo mimics him, struck by the sheer rudeness of it: another garish display of the imbalance between them and their respective organizations. At least, until there's a hand extended towards him over the table. He takes it. The grip is firm and does not ease, making it uncomfortable as silent seconds pass.

"Gabriel. I'm looking forward to our continued partnership."

They'd never been formally introduced before. Hanzo feels the balance shift imperceptibly with the name slotting into the appropriate spaces in his mind.

"Hanzo."

"See that it doesn't end too soon," Gabriel releases his hand with finality. Hanzo nods, feeling like he has just, how the western saying goes, sold his soul to the devil.

"I will definitely keep it under consideration."

"Good."

Gabriel sits back down and Hanzo more than feels it's his cue to leave. He turns, with one last glance to the kid: he has managed to place himself between Jack's arms, with his back leaning against the man's chest. If not for the cuffs around the wrists laying across his lap, it would appear as nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe it wasn't, really, with how the kid was now engrossed in his game like everything was in perfect order.

Hanzo spends the ride back ruminating on the meeting.

The puzzle pieces do not want to fit together - he gets two or three to connect but not more - different bits of information suspended in the void of unknowns. When Daichi opens his door, one memory strikes him randomly. Hanzo sends him away with the wave of his hand.

Still sitting in the car, he takes one cigarette out of the case and lights it.

Hanzo doesn't smoke. It's rather a sympathetic nervous habit he had picked up from Genji: holding a burning cigarette between his fingers and the disagreeable smell help him focus and calm. He has been right. He knew the expression, or rather the lack of it, that Jack wore on his face when asked about the scar. He had seen it before, had heard the same flat voice, all from some of the used merchandise, the ones that were broken in, or just simply broken.

Two and a half years ago.

He wakes slowly, with pain lacing through his body at every minute motion. Tries to sort his memories out, what was real and what has never happened.

The room is oddly familiar. The slid shut curtains remind him of something disturbing.

It's probably morning.

Over the hum in his head, he can hear someone moving downstairs.

He works the courage up to shift and sit - then stand on unsteady legs - his tongue feels swollen and sticks to the roof of his mouth. It makes sense for it to be morning, somehow.

The first door he tries is the bathroom. The light comes on by itself - he barely registers moving before he's gripping the sink with both hands and drinks straight from the tap. When he finally looks up, there's a baggie stuck with yellow tape to the mirror's surface.

He rips it off and stills, staring. His reflection is a sorry sight - but it's not right - the bruises and scrapes are healing, his lips are scabbed. It's days, not hours. Tentatively, he reaches to his cheek and winces at the sharp pain.

But it's not right, not when his wrists are rubbed raw fresh and stinging - and there's nothing in the air but the smell of gasoline - and if Gabriel comes any closer, his hair will catch on fire too...

He flinches away from the mirror and the specter lurking in the reflection. But Gabriel is still standing in the doorway. Blocking his way out.

He knows.

Gabriel knows.

The fragments of the last few - two? three? - days come together into a mismatched tapestry of metal, gunpowder, and gasoline. He tastes blood and breathes in the sand. The edge of the sink digs into his back as Gabriel steps closer and crowds his space, hand reaching to his palm and freeing the still-gripped in it plastic bag.

With his fingers, Gabriel forces the pills past his lips; a drop of blood trickles down his chin from an open again split lip.

But he's only interested in finding what hides behind those eyes that observe him with the knowing superiority: what’s the verdict?

One phone call, he needs but one call, and 'Jack' will be wiped from existence, and he will be safe and away from all this.

Away and safe to lick his wounds. He’s good at that.

"Swallow." The command comes with a pressure to his jaw and a palm covering his mouth - he does. "Good doggie. Wash up, change, and come downstairs. Dinner's ready soon."

Gabriel lets go of him and leaves.

'Jack' needs to die.

He spares the last long look for his own reflection and wipes the blood off his face with one of the pristine towels hanging by the side. He throws it to the ground.

Hot water in the shower stings and hurts, but his lips and fingertips tingle with numbness. The steam makes it hard to breathe; the towel still comes away tinged pink with a few darker spots scattered around, stark in the contrast to the glaring white. There's still some grime under his nails he can't get to; he's not sure he cares, not now.

Opiates, this time, with something extra mixed in, he realizes when he overshoots with his hand at first try while reaching for the change of clothes lying on the bed. The loose sweatpants and the long-sleeved shirt, both in spruce - is spruce even a color? - hang off his frame. It's... a first. He remembers losing some weight, but this is ridiculous, as is the thought they're probably a set of pajamas. He chuckles and covers his mouth immediately, surprised at the sound.

He needs time and a place to lick his wounds and process before he crashes. He needs time away from 'Jack'.

He knows his way around the house as well as he knows someone outside will put a bullet in the back of his head if he runs.

He needs 'Jack' to die.

He steps barefooted off the carpeted stairs onto chill parquet.

On the chest of drawers by the wall lie his keys, gun, wallet, and the phone - the screen is cracked but as long as the other sim card is in it should dial the right number and 'Jack' will die either way. He almost picks up the phone and the gun but thinks better of it.

He's got a straight line to the outside. Baby steps. Just be quiet. He recognizes the jacket hanging on the coat rack, it's his own - looks back to the gun.

The sound of metal hitting on glass is too loud, almost like it's supposed to catch his attention.

"Oh, you're up! Just in time, too." Chipper and pleasantly surprised. He blinks and winces at the voice, turning to his right. She's there, in shades of pink, holding some spatula or some other implement. "Sit down, I'm just finishing up," Angela continues with a smile.

She can't not know. There's no fucking way she doesn't know at least that one thing. She shouldn't be smiling at him.

"...I don't want... to intrude."

"Don't be silly, Jack, I'm happy to have you. I tried something new tonight. I hope you like lamb in mint and black beans."

The table is set for four people. Jesse sits in his chair, elbows propped next to his plate, his cup of juice half-emptied already. Gabriel's not here. He can't decide if that's good or not.

Cautiously, he walks to the closest chair and sits with his back to the corridor.

Closest to the exit.

Angela busies herself with the pots. Jesse observes him with the fervent disinterest only children are capable of. He tries to smile; Jesse's not impressed and kicks the table.

"You must be hungry." It's bad. He had missed her moving.

Angela puts the meat on his plate first. It smells sweet. He is hungry - he must be hungry with how his breathing speeds up and shallows - or maybe he has just noticed it? She comes back with the beans; they're really, honestly, just black in black, and he laughs and chokes on it.

He wipes his lips with his wrist, barely noticing the blood.

The hand on his shoulder is not hers even if she's back again by his side, closer than before. Fingers move to his throat, a thumb rubs hard circles into the back of his head. She sees it, doesn't she? She has to.

"You'll be eating with us more often, won't you?" Angela coos, leaning in. She pets his hair and kisses his cheek. "You're family, after all. Well," she straightens and claps her hands. "Everybody, dig in. Dinner's served."

The hand on his neck lets go with one last shove - and only then he feels he's able to take a shallow breath. He focuses on the plate; the fork held between his fingers wavers. The beans glisten and he's pretty sure they are not moving, even if he would swear they do. He pierces one with the fork and brings it to his lips; somehow, it tastes numb. He almost recoils at the sudden pain when his tongue presses it against the roof of his mouth - and after a short pause, he moves the bite to the side of his mouth before swallowing.

That's... he remembers. That has happened.

He keeps his head low, forcing himself not to look anywhere but his plate, carefully gathering what is probably meat on the fork that hits the glass with too much force more than once.

He blinks.

The meat is on the fork.

The light is different.

The sickly sweet smell brings up bile in his throat. He lets go of the fork. The sound it makes when it falls is louder than a gunshot. He almost trips to the side together with the chair when scrambling to stand up, one hand pressed to his mouth.

"I need a smoke." Stained and high-pitched. It's not his voice.

He backs into the corridor until there's a wall behind him he can lean on. His breath comes in short wheezing gusts through the gaps between his fingers.

Little late to start panicking.

"Take the jacket. It's cold."

He turns to the left. The jacket.

He vaguely remembers he had a pack of cigarettes in there, one he only started on. He slides along the wall and tries - fumbles at it the first time; it feels too heavy - to pry the jacket off the hanger – stumbles to the door - forgets for a second it opens outward and pulls first.

The chill in the air hits him as he steps out to the porch. It's dark out. Shivering, he manages to slip the jacket on his shoulders and pats the pockets before he finds the cigarettes.

There are two SUVs with tinted windows parked in the front. He knows there are people in them.

He can't run.

The first cigarette is broken - he lets it fall next to his bare feet. The next, too. The third, too; he breaks off the dangling part and puts it between his lips.

He lights it off the offered light, noticing only after the fact Slim is standing next to him. And Slim is not slim, it's hilarious.

He drags on the cigarette. The smoke feels like nothing and burns the roof of his mouth, but quells nausea. Vertigo comes as he closes his eyes; a hand under his elbow keeps him stable for that fleeting moment.

His mind is clearer. Somehow.

He should be dead. He isn't. His cover is blown, and he has nothing. He's compromised. He throws the butt to the ground and takes out another cigarette. Slim lights that one for him, too.

Maybe, just maybe, he can go.

Walk past the parked cars with no one stopping him. Hitch a ride to the nearest gas station. Make a call and wait for someone to come and pick him up. With nothing of substance to show for the months spent.

Pathetic.

Run away with his life.

But...

No one else but him got this close. It almost feels like he's... being allowed to stay. Like they know - Gabriel knows - it isn't about him. The game's far bigger.

He can do it. 'Jack' can stay for a while longer.

He can do it. He still needs to make the call.

Jack takes the last drag on the broken cigarette and then tosses it away. He's still shivering. The hand leaves his elbow; Slim is still not slim, it's still hilarious, and Jack bites back a chuckle that sounds wrong even to his own ears.

"How's...?" Slim asks, almost like a concern.

Jack shrugs. Feeling the gaps in the wood with his soles, he takes a small step forward and breathes in the air.

He can stay a while longer. Jack is here to stay.

He turns around and sizes the door leading back into the lion's den. The click of the lock has a finality to it.

The only light in the corridor pours in from the kitchen. The familiar vertigo is back. Foot after foot, slow and careful, the thrum of blood rising in his ears, Jack makes his way to his phone left haphazardly in the open.

"What are you doing?"

He freezes with his fingertips trembling just above the cracked screen. Gabriel is behind him.

"I... need to make a call."

"You can do that tomorrow." Jack flinches when a clip of notes lands next to his palm. He flinches again when the jacket slips off his shoulders and falls to the floor. "You'll need a new phone, anyway."

"I really..."

The hand on his wrist pushes his arm down; Jack offers no resistance, his breath catching in his throat.

"Good doggie."

Fingers move over his shoulder and then knuckles brush against the hair on the nape of his neck. The touch follows the bumps of his spine - stops just below the shoulder blades with commanding pressure. He climbs the first step of the staircase. His grip on the handrail spasms. It was stupid, to expect the lion to lie meek in its own den.

Jack doesn't fight the hand at his back - doesn't fight it even as it pushes him later down under and keeps him at the bottom of the bathtub. In the morning, Angela fuses over him with the concealer. When she's satisfied with her handiwork, she drags him to stand in front of the mirror.

"See? It's all better now."

#sometimes i write #r76 #reaper76 #mob!au #dead dove #misery is the drug in your veins

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centeredrichmondacupuncture · 3 years ago

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Health Care Reform - Busting The 3 Biggest Myths Of ObamaCare

acupuncture richmondOver the most recent couple of months we've seen a ton of Health Care Reform rules and guidelines being presented by the Health and Human Services Department. Each time that occurs, the media gets hold of it and a wide range of articles are written in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and the TV network news programs talk about it. Every one of the investigators begin discussing the upsides and downsides, and how it affects organizations and people.

The issue with this is, ordinarily one author took a gander at the guideline, and composed a piece about it. Then, at that point different authors begin utilizing pieces from that first article and revamping parts to accommodate their article. When the data gets generally appropriated, the genuine guidelines and rules get curved and mutilated, and what really appears in the media in some cases simply doesn't genuinely address the truth of what the guidelines say.

There's a ton of misconception about what is new with ObamaCare, and something that I've seen in conversations with customers, is that there's a hidden arrangement of fantasies that individuals have gotten about medical care change that simply aren't correct. But since of all they've heard in the media, individuals accept these legends are in reality evident.

Today we will discuss three fantasies I hear most regularly. Not every person accepts these legends, but rather enough do, and others are uncertain what to accept, so it warrants dissipating these fantasies now.

The first is that medical care change just influences uninsured individuals. The subsequent one is that Medicare benefits and the Medicare program won't be influenced by medical services change. And afterward the last one is that medical services change will decrease the expenses of medical services.

Medical services Reform Only Affects Uninsured

We should take a gander at the primary fantasy about medical care change just influencing uninsured individuals. In a ton of the conversations I have with customers, there are a few articulations they use: "I as of now have inclusion, so I will not be influenced by ObamaCare," or "I'll simply keep my grandfathered medical coverage plan," and the final remaining one - and this one I can give them a tad of room, since a piece of what they're saying is valid - is "I have bunch health care coverage, so I will not be influenced by medical services change."

Indeed, actually medical services change is really going to influence everyone. Beginning in 2014, we will have an entirely different arrangement of wellbeing plans, and those plans have exceptionally rich advantages with bunches of additional highlights that the current plans today don't offer. So these new plans will be greater expense.

Medical care Reform's Effect On People With Health Insurance

Individuals that presently have health care coverage will be progressed into these new plans at some point in 2014. So the guaranteed will be straightforwardly influenced by this on the grounds that the wellbeing plans they have today are disappearing, and they will be planned into another ObamaCare plan in 2014.

Medical services Reform Effect On The Uninsured

The uninsured have an extra issue in that on the off chance that they don't get health care coverage in 2014, they face an order punishment. A portion of the solid uninsured will take a gander at that punishment and say, "Indeed, the punishment is 1% of my changed gross pay; I make $50,000, so I'll suffer a $500 consequence or $1,000 for medical coverage. All things considered I'll simply take the punishment." But in any case, they will be straightforwardly influenced by medical services change. Through the order it influences the guaranteed just as the uninsured.

Medical care Reform Effect On People With Grandfathered Health Plans

Individuals that have grandfathered medical coverage plans won't be straightforwardly influenced by medical services change. But since of the existence pattern of their grandfathered wellbeing plan, it will make those arrangements all the more expensive as they find that there are plans accessible since they can without much of a stretch exchange to that have a more extravagant arrangement of advantages that would be more helpful for any ongoing medical problems they may have.

For individuals who stay in those grandfathered plans, the pool of endorsers in the arrangement will begin to recoil, and as that occurs, the expense of those grandfathered health care coverage plans will increment significantly quicker than they are currently. Consequently, individuals in grandfathered wellbeing plans will likewise be affected by ObamaCare.

acupuncture richmond

Medical services Reform Effect On People With Group Health Insurance

The final remaining one, the little gathering commercial center, will be the most remarkably influenced by medical services change. Despite the fact that the medical care change guidelines transcendently influence huge and medium-sized organizations, and organizations that have at least 50 workers, more modest organizations will likewise be influenced, despite the fact that they're excluded from ObamaCare itself.

What numerous reviews and surveys are beginning to show is that a portion of the organizations that have 10 or less representatives will take a gander at their alternative to drop health care coverage inclusion out and out, and at this point don't have it as a cost of the organization. All things being equal, they will have their representatives get medical coverage through the health care coverage trades.

Indeed, a portion of the transporters are presently saying they expect that up to half of little gatherings with 10 or less representatives will drop their medical coverage plan at some point somewhere in the range of 2014 and 2016. That will have an enormous impact on all individuals who have bunch health care coverage, particularly on the off chance that they're in one of those little organizations that drop health care coverage inclusion.

It's difficult uninsured that will be influenced by medical care change, everyone will be affected.

Medical services Reform Will Not Affect Medicare

The following legend was that medical care change would not influence Medicare. This one is somewhat clever in light of the fact that right from the very get-go, the most prominent cuts were explicitly focusing on the Medicare program. At the point when you see acupuncture for scar tissue segment of the general government, you can see that in 1970, Medicare was 4% of the U.S. government spending plan, and by 2011, it had developed to 16% of the administrative financial plan.

On the off chance that we take a gander at it in the course of the most recent 10 years, from 2002 to 2012, Medicare is the quickest developing piece of the significant qualification programs in the central government, and it's become by practically 70% during that timeframe.

Due to how huge Medicare is and how quick it's developing, it's one of the key projects that ObamaCare is attempting to understand, so it doesn't bankrupts the U.S. Government medical care will be affected, and truth be told the underlying slices to Medicare have effectively been set at about $716 billion.

Federal medical insurance Advantage Cuts And The Effects

Of that $716 billion cut, the Medicare Advantage program gets cut the most, and will see the greater part of the impacts. What that will do is increment the charges individuals pay for their Medicare Advantage designs, and diminish the advantages of those plans.

Expanded Medicare Advantage Costs

At the present time, numerous individuals pick Medicare Advantage plans since they have zero charge. At the point when given a decision on Medicare plans, they see it as a simple decision since it's a free program for them, "Sure, I get Medicare benefits, I don't pay anything for it; why not." Now they will see Medicare expenses begin to climb, and go from zero to $70, $80, $90, $100. We've effectively seen that with a portion of the Blue Cross Medicare Advantage designs this year. It will deteriorate as we go ahead later on.

Decreased Medicare Advantage Benefits

To limit the superior increments, what numerous Medicare Advantage plans will do is increment the copayments, increment the deductibles, and change the co-protection rates. To keep the expenses down, they'll simply push a greater amount of the expenses onto the Medicare Advantage beneficiaries. Expanded charges and diminished advantages are the thing we will see coming in Medicare Advantage plan.

Less Medicare Physicians

And afterward if that wasn't sufficiently awful, as Medicare specialists start getting lower and lower repayments for Medicare Advantage individuals, they will quit exploiting beneficiaries. We will see the pool of specialists to help individuals in Medicare beginning to recoil also, except if shifts are made over the direction of the following five years. So Medicare will be influenced, and it will be influenced drastically by medical care change. Everyone's sort of anxious, standing by to perceive what will occur there.

Medical services Reform Will Reduce Healthcare Costs

The final remaining one, and likely the greatest fantasy about medical care change, is everyone feeling that ObamaCare will decrease medical services costs. That is totally foolishness. From the get-go simultaneously, when they were attempting to concoct the guidelines and guidelines, the accentuation and one of the objectives for change was to diminish medical services costs.

Yet, some place along the line, the objective really moved from cost decrease to guideline of the health care coverage industry. When they made that change, they pushed cost decreases to the sideline. There are some little expense decrease segments in ObamaCare, yet the genuine accentuation is on directing health care coverage. The new plans, for instance, have a lot more extravagant advantages than numerous plans today: more extravagant advantages implies more extravagant costs.

Medical services Reform Subsidies: Will They Make Plans Affordable?

A many individuals trust, "The appropriations will make medical coverage arrangements more reasonable, will not they?" Yes, sometimes the endowments will assist with making the arrangements moderate for individuals. Yet, in the event that you make $1 to an extreme, the reasonable plans are unexpectedly going to turn out to be extravagant and can cost a large number of dollars more throughout the span of a year. Will a sponsorship make it reasonable or not moderate is truly liable to banter now. We must really see acupuncture for sinus congestion resemble for these plans.

#new

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theexleynatureblog · 4 years ago

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The Bundy Group

So I just learned something startling I thought I should post: In Jan 2016, a group of extremists seized the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon. The act was in protect to the incarceration of two ranchers who purposely set fire to their land, which spread onto the refuge. Untimely, the acts were rebellion against federal control of land. Below are some quotes from the protestors. primarily from the Bundy brothers who orchestrated the assault:

"All comfort, all wealth ... comes from the Earth, and we cannot have the government restricting the use of that to the point where it puts us in poverty."

"I will say this refuge from its very inception has been a tool of tyranny."

“This refuge here is rightfully owned by the people and we intend to use it.”

“The best possible outcome is that the ranchers that have been kicked out of the area, then they will come back and reclaim their land, and the wildlife refuge will be shut down forever and the federal government will relinquish such control.”

While protesting in a nearby town, a small but armed group split off and occupied the Malheur NWR center. The standoff lasted 41 days with the occupants saying they wouldn’t leave until they regained their rightful land. The occupancy resulted in property damage to the building, land damage from unauthorized excavations (trenches used for toilets), broken fences, fights with conservationists, neighboring tribe members, and law enforcement. One confrontation resulted in several arrests and one protestor fatality who apparently threatened police. The final days of the occupancy was with four people who protested the shooting until they were seized by police.

Now, on the surface this may seem like a ‘noble’ display of patriotism and rebellion, but let me inform y’all what a wildlife refuge actually is.

Map of the current refuges in the US.

The first wildlife refuges were created by Theodore Roosevelt, who was an active sport’s hunter and a member of the Boon and Crockett Club - a rich-person’s sporting club. Roosevelt’s goal was preserving North America’s ‘big game’ for future generations to enjoy.

Wild spaces were not created out of concern for the environment, but preservation for human use. When colonizers came to the America’s, they disregarded the thousands of years of management for wildlife by native tribes. A mixture of market hunting (commercially hunting to stock restaurants and stores) habitat loss, and introductions of invasive species changed the landscape and its animals drastically, sometimes to a point beyond repair. The recognition of the loss of timber and water sources sparked the designation of national parks and refuges for the identical reason - preservation for human use.

President Theodore Roosevelt on Pelican Island, casually allowing one of the islands inhabitants devour his hand.

Pelican Island was the first Wildlife Refuge created in 1903 by Theodore Roosevelt, who would later add many more designated wildlife areas. Despite the purpose of the refuges being anthro-centric (and further, only accessible to upper-class white society), the refuges served an important function to wildlife. As regulated hunting laws were still in development or lacked enforcement, it gave animals a place to escape hunting pressure. The actual shooting is only one factor - the influx of foot and vehicle traffic, noise from ammunition, startled herds and flocks, human camps, and later-on effects of pollutants from lead shot all contribute to stresses that impact individual survival. These refuges were not open to hunting or any resource harvest at certain times of the year or in certain sections.

The Malheur Refuge was one of the original areas designated by President Roosevelt himself. Many of these refuges were focused on protecting birds, victims of the millinery trade. Feathers of adult birds (mainly targeted during breeding seasons) and sometimes entire birds were used to decorate woman’s hats. This attack on the breeding population led to a sharp decline that alarmed outdoor enthusiasts and bird-watchers alike. Read more about the Feather Hat Trade.

Today, the refuge has multiple uses. A stop along the Pacific Flyway, it is an important space for migrating waterfowl. Besides biology, refuge also is used in studying geology. Having once been inhabited by native tribes, the refuge provides members of the Burns Paiute Tribe to continue cultural traditions and hunting/fishing practices.

Map of habitats.

The refuge does important work for wildlife, but it comes at a cost. Roosevelt designating ‘wild’ areas to be free of human contact also meant native tribes had no access to the resources they depended on. Today luckily, some of that is changed, and tribal members play an important part of managing in some of the refuges.

Read some of the Tribal Wildlife Conservation success stories!

The loss of access also sparked problems with ranchers. In the Western US, large expanses of grazable land were claimed by farmers ready to make money on their stock. The history of homesteading ranchers is messy, often colliding with native groups, conservationists, and others.

All human activity has environmental impacts, and ranching is no exception. Whether those impacts are good or bad depends on the responsibility and knowledge of the rancher. For example, grazing in an important management technique that can both reduce grasses and spread them. A herd of cattle can save a grassland from desertification or cause it. Its all on the rancher to be environmentally caution - but caution is often more expensive and risky.

For the past centuries, fragmenting the landscape with barbed wire, fences, and roads and rails that have caused problems for wildlife also cause problems for ranches trying to move their herds. National Parks with grazable (or even in some cases areas that were sensitive to grazing but used anyway) areas became available for livestock owners to rent. But still remained constant competition with multiple interests - mining, development, hunting, and conversation efforts.

The events from the Malheur Occupancy seemed to stem from these kinds of frustrations.

Now here comes the part where I make people aware of my personal opinions and biases, because I believe its important to understand what I am trying to say. My biases lean towards environmentalism based in western scientific technique. This is because I have a passion for wildlife and a drive to protect it. So far, I have acquired most of my knowledge from institutes that teach the important of science - mostly from western sources, though I do hope to learn from other parts of the world as well. To be bluntly honest, I don’t give a darn about ranchers, especially in light of the historical impacts of grazing in the Western US - that being said, I do try to understand their position. I can understand the lure of working with animals and the outdoors. Its also important to understand that this kind of work requires a lot of time and a specific skillset. If you donate your time to mastering a career like this, odds are your haven’t mastered much else. You can’t afford to ‘just change jobs’. If you livestock or crop fails, you’re screwed financially. This is why some farmers just can’t risk going organic, or not expanding their fields. They can’t always consider the environmental impacts. A farmer/ranchers whole life is quite literally tied to the land they have to work on. This is why they feel so strongly about federal lands.

I really hate that sometimes it comes down to farmers versus wildlife. It shouldn’t be this tug-o-war, we should all be working together to do what’s best for the land that so many different people and animals have to use. Land managers have to consider farmers, wildlife, and public interest when planning lands for use. Each of us should also have consideration for each other.

The occupation of the facility costs approximately $6 million in damages and facility security. That is money that could have gone to wildlife projects. There was also the damages of mental trauma, emotional trauma, and damages of Burns-Paiute cultural artifacts desecrated.

The Malheur refuge was also working on an important Invasive Carp Control project. These fish, introduced from Eurasia, caused big problems for native fish, plants, and even birds. They are known for muddying water quality, which inhibits the functions of plants and fish.

"Carp are so hard to eradicate because they're the perfect invasive species," Beck said. "They're kind of like the feral pig of the waterway."

The project has gone on for many years with many different methods tested, from dynamite to robotics. Controlling invasive species is a time-sensitive operation. There are moments - spawning/migrating - that occur only a few weeks out of the year that are prime for removing large numbers of individuals. Work is also non-stop. Fish like carp are prolific breeders. A few days rest could result in a few hundred extra.

The occupancy of Malheur made the carp project and other work come to a total halt for months. This has ultimately set the projects back by decades.

In Oct. of 2016, the leaders of the standoff, Ammon and Ryan Bundy, were Pardoned by the Trump Admin.

In regards to how this whole thing started, I sincerely can’t say whether who was in the wrong. The ranchers claimed to be practicing brush control by fire, but Federal investigation suspected the fires were set to hide evidence of poached deer. Whether it was in the right or not, the fires spread onto Refuge land, which put the farmers in violation. Burning private land for management purposes was legal in this case, but it is the manager’s responsibility to keep the fire under control. Fires should be kept low to the ground with bounders (roads, rivers) to prevent it from spreading. Wind direction should be constantly monitored, and there should be a small team of people at the ready in case the fire gets too big. There’s no evidence to suggest the group took the proper precautions.

While the street march and protect was entirely within the group’s rights, I believe the occupation of the Malheur refuge was unjustified. There was no reason for the protestors to be armed, and the individuals acts of desecrating the building, grounds, and cultural artifacts went well beyond what the group stated to be their original purpose. The occupancy had no regard for the safety of the workers or surrounding residents, and certainly no regard for the conservation work currently taking place.

The group wanted to protest the Federal authority over land they believed was theirs, and they did so by damaging the refuge and threatening the workers there.

I believe all action taken on lands should be done with environmental and ecological impacts considered, which was not the case in this instance.

Sources:

The NY Times

NPR

The Washington Post

Reuters

Fish and Wildlife Service

KGW8

The Oregonian - events timeline

#science #enviromentalism #history #nature #animals #national parks

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ddaengyoonmin · 5 years ago

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Pairing: Hybrid!Yoongi x Human!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Theme: Mate!au, Hybrid!au

Warnings: Mentions of blood and slight violence, Unprotected sex, blowjob

Playlist: “Professional-The Weekend”-- “Angels-The XX”--”Lust for Life-Lana Del Rey”

Word Count: 8.8k

@sugasheart

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You’d been thinking about getting a hybrid for some time now. You had just never felt financially capable of supporting more than just yourself.

But, this week you had just been informed you’d be getting a promotion at your job and a significant pay raise to go with it.

Excitedly your first thought was that you could finally get a hybrid!

You called up your friend Namjoon as soon as you got out of work.

“What was the name of that shelter you got Jimin from?” you asked him

“Lilly’s Hybrid Adoption Shelter, why? Are you finally getting a hybrid?”

“Yep!” you beamed “I just got that promotion I’d been after and It seems like I can more than afford to now”

“Woah, y/n that's awesome! Congrats, and I hope your search goes well, don’t get discouraged if you don’t click with any of them right away, it took me a while before I found Jimin” he told you

“Yeah, I know, I’m hoping I do though! I’m so excited”

“Well good luck!”

“Thanks Joon, I’ll let you know how it goes”

----------------------------------

You plugged the address for the shelter into your phone’s GPS and went straight there from your work.

The shelter seemed like a nice enough place, it was pretty large and seemed to be a couple stories tall. Namjoon had sung its praises when he adopted Jimin his golden retriever hybrid, but that was two years ago. Hopefully it was still as good as Joon had remembered it being.

You’d heard that some shelters were cruel and even put Hybrids down if they weren’t getting adopted and the shelter was filling up.

You walked up to the glass double doors, taking a deep breath in anticipation. You knew this was a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Like Namjoon said, you needed to really click with your hybrid, you didn’t want to be that person to send your hybrid back after just a week or two because it wasn’t working out.

The man at the front desk chimed out a “Hello there!” cheerily.

He got up from behind his desk and walked over to greet you, “I’m Hoseok,” he extended his hand for you to shake, “Are you looking to adopt a hybrid today?”

“I’m hoping so” you nodded with a smile.

“Awesome!” he grinned “Lets get some info from you first, and I’ll need your I.D before you go back to interact with the hybrids. We have some requirements for adoption so I wouldn’t want to get your hopes up just to have to reject you after you’ve bonded with one of them” he shook his head, you assumed that had been a problem in the past that they were trying to correct now.

“Of course” you pulled your I.D out to give to Hoseok, he took it and went back behind the desk, entering some info into his computer as he handed you a form with a pen to fill out. You were surprised at how detailed it was. They needed info like your age, where you worked, how much money you made, what the square footage of your home is, and if it was two bedrooms or more. You did have a two bedroom home, but you didn’t think it was that big or extravagant, you hoped it would be enough for you to qualify.

You hand the paper back to Hoseok when you had finished and he glanced it over, running his finger along each box you’d filled out.

“Great!” he smiled and nodded in approval “You meet all our requirements and your background check came back clean. I can take you back to meet the hybrids now”

You let out a sigh of relief.

“Jin can you watch the desk while I take Miss y/l/n here back to visit the hybrids?” he yelled out to a man who was walking by carrying some boxes.

“Sure thing boss” Jin replied, setting the boxes down and trading places with Hoseok.

“Awesome, come with me” Hoseok motioned for you to follow him as he walked you through a door behind the desk.

There were many long hallways lined with big glass windows all wrapping around in a square with doors leading to an enclosed outdoor grassy center with benches and many hybrids playing with each other and with workers from the shelter.

Hoseok led you to one of the doors, holding it open for you to go outside.

Instantly an excited brown haired cat hybrid runs up to you, “Pets?” he said lowering his head for you to pet him. Hoseok chuckled “This is Jungkook, he’s quite friendly”

You laugh and pet the cat hybrid on the head. “Enough pets” he said after only a few moments and ran back out to play with another cat hybrid that was playing alone in the corner of the yard.

“He just got adopted today, he’s in a good mood” Hoseok said “But besides him, the rest of the hybrids here are up for adoption still”

You walked around the yard, spending a little bit of time with each of the hybrids, they were all very cute and friendly, any of them would’ve been a perfect companion. But, there wasn’t a strong pull to any one in particular.

“Is this every one?” you asked Hoseok after you’d met with all of them.

“Well…” he paused, “There is one more...but we don’t let him out with the rest of the hybrids and we really don’t know what to do with him. I wouldn’t suggest meeting with him”

You furrowed your brow confused “Why not?”

Hoseok sighed, “Well usually we only deal with the standard pet hybrids, dogs, cats, rabbits and such. But this guy was brought to us by a friend of mine from one of the Kill shelters. He knew we were a no kill shelter here and had grown somewhat fond of the hybrid, but they just couldn’t seem to place him. He’s dangerous…” he paused again “He’s a melanistic jaguar, better known as a black panther hybrid. He’s been to many different homes and each time he’d been sent back due to inflicting injury on one of his owners, even a child at one point”

You gasped. “Oh.” you thought for a moment “Can I still see him? I’ve never seen a black panther hybrid. I’m kind of curious”

Hoseok’s eyes widened, “I guess? If you really want to”

He led you back inside and down a hallway to the rooms where they kept the hybrids beds.

Hoseok stopped at one door with a large window where you could see inside.

Sitting with his eyes closed on the floor and back pressed against the wall, and arms resting on his knees, was the most beautiful hybrid you’d ever seen.

He had jet black hair that fell slightly into his eyes and his black ears that sat on top of his head were the same glossy black as the rest of his hair. He was wearing the same uniform outfit that all the hybrids were, a plain white t-shirt and white jeans.

Upon realizing that you and Hoseok had approached his catlike eyes shot open and into a glare. He growled lowly at Hoseok, remaining still.

“Yoongi be nice” Hoseok tried to soothe him. “This nice lady just wanted to see you. He can hear us through the door” he added that last part to you.

The hybrid rolled his eyes and let out a small hiss. When his eyes finally looked your way his expression suddenly softened.

He stood up and slowly approached the window.

“Would you look at that…” Hoseok's eyes widened in shock. “He’s never approached us willingly”

Yoongi shot a glare Hoseok’s way quickly before turning back to face you.

“Hi” you softly spoke at him

Yoongi cocked his head to the side, curiously observing you and looking you up and down with a blank expression.

He then put a hand up and pressed it gently against the glass window. You stood still for a moment and then realized maybe he wanted you to put your hand up against his.

You slowly brought your hand to where his was, your hand smaller in comparison to his. You stood like this for a moment before turning to Hoseok.

“Does he get to come out at all?”

Hoseok shook his head “No way. We don’t trust him. Last time we did that he bit Jin pretty bad”

You looked sad.

“I’ll be good” Yoongi grumbled.

“Ahh, I don’t think that’s a good idea” Hoseok murmured.

“What If I wanted to adopt him?” you said without thinking. You knew that it was probably a bad idea. Everything about this hybrid screamed danger, and the stories that Hoseok had told you backed up that feeling. Yet something about him was pulling you to need more time with him, to get to know him. Yoongi’s eyes widened at your words, he looked to Hoseok with a pleading expression.

“Y/n, I thought you just wanted to see what he looked like, I’m sorry but he's really not up for adoption right now.” Hoseok sternly looked at Yoongi “Not until he proves to us that he isn’t a threat to others.”

“I wouldn’t hurt her” Yoongi hissed out, eyes narrowing.

“Hoseok I really think I’m fine, I’ll sign a waiver or something if that’s what you’re worried about” you then turned to Yoongi “I trust you” you nodded.

That seemed to make Yoongi happy, a tiny smile pulled up the corner of his lips as he continued to look you over.

“Agh, fine” Hoseok groaned. “I’m gonna go get my taser first just in case. Hopefully I won’t have to use it” he glared at Yoongi who was rolling his eyes.

A taser seemed a bit drastic, but Hoseok was just looking out for your safety. You also hoped he wouldn’t have to use it, and that you didn’t just get yourself into a dangerous situation.

Hoseok returned and looked sternly at Yoongi, “Back against the back wall of the room.” He barked out at him.

Yoongi hissed softly shaking his head, but obeying, sulking over to the back wall and leaning against it calmly.

Hoseok unlocked the door and entered first, with you following close behind.

You heart was fluttering in your chest with a mix of fear and excitement. Yoongi smirked at your nervousness, “Can I move off the wall?” he asked Hoseok, his eyes not leaving you.

“Slowly. No sudden movements” Hoseok ordered.

Yoongi slowly pulled himself from the wall and started walking over to you. You met him halfway returning the slow pace in your steps.

Your breathing was quickened and shallow, your chest tightening with the fear and tense vibes in the air.

Yoongi was staring down at you calm and cool, a small smile formed on his lips.

“Hi” he muttered quietly.

You took in the full sight of him, his eyes were golden and cat like, he stood strong and confidently as he took a slow step close to you, now only about a foot away.

You gulped loudly as Yoongi extended out his hand, similarly to how he did on the window. Waiting for you to return the gesture.

You hesitated for a moment, but decided it couldn’t hurt. You raised your hand up and started to bring it to his. You noticed Hoseok holding tight to the taser at the door of the room, ready to step in if need be.

When your hand touched Yoongi’s a shiver ran over you, his hand was cold and firm as he started to lock his fingers into your own.

A smirk on his face and his eyes brightening.

“Alright that's enough” Hoseok yelled out. Startling Yoongi making him jump back a few feet from you and start to growl and hiss Hoseok’s way.

Hoseok quickly ushered you out of the room, holding his taser out towards Yoongi as a warning.

Once the door had been shut and locked, you next words were no surprise to you, maybe they should’ve been a surprise, but it all just felt so right.

“I want to adopt him. What do I need to do to get approved for that.”

Hoseok groaned and shook his head. “I really shouldn’t have showed him to you.”

You gave him a look of unwavering determination.

“Okay, I’m going to call the owner, I’m just a supervisor here so I don’t really have the authority to make this call. I’ll give it a try. But, are you really sure?” he looked at you like you were insane.

You nodded confidently “I’m very sure. He’s my guy” you grinned looking over to Yoongi who stood by the glass and had heard your words. He smiled the biggest smile yet, looking at you softly.

Hoseok brought you to the office where you would fill out the adoption paperwork if the owner approved you being able to adopt Yoongi.

Things seemed to be going in your favor on the phone despite Hoseok’s worried opinions on the situation.

“Ah. Fine. I’ll let her know” Hoseok spoke and hung up the phone. “So...you can adopt him”

Your face lit up and you grinned widely. “Yeah?” you excitedly bounced in your seat.

“Yes. We are going to do a home visit one a week for the first month though, nothing too intrusive, just a quick pop in to make sure he’s settling in alright and you are safe” he informed you.

You nodded, that didn’t seem like a bad idea. You were honestly grateful for how much they seemed to care about your safety and making sure Yoongi would go to a home where he could be well adjusted.

You were sad that you couldn’t take Yoongi home that day, but it was policy for them to make new owners wait a week before bringing their hybrid home, to give them a chance to back out so as to make sure people weren't just getting a new hybrid on impulse that would just be returned as soon as they realized it wasn’t really what they wanted.

“That’s happened more than you’d think” Hoseok told you. “Alright, well I think we’ve got everything covered. I’ll see you back here in a week” he waved you goodbye as you left.

--------------------------------------------

The next week was spent preparing the house for Yoongi. You were so excited and nervous all at the same time. You had set up your spare room as a bedroom for him, buying him some brand new soft silk black sheets that had instantly reminded you of his hair when you saw them on the shelf. You also got him a plush red blanket that you hoped he’d like along with many other decorations for his room. Not knowing what to buy for him to entertain himself with you picked out some new board games for the two of you to play together and bought a tablet that he could have as his own to play games on. You were quite thankful for the pay raise you were getting as it ended up being quite the expensive shopping trip.

Finally the day had come for you to go and pick Yoongi up.

Your felt a slight knot of anxiety in your stomach as you approached the door to the shelter, nervous and excited.

When you entered the door Hoseok was sitting at the desk, “Y/n! Oh my god. Someone was supposed to call you”

Your heart sank, worried about what that could mean. Had Yoongi been adopted by someone else? Had they decided not to let you get him?

“What’s wrong?” you asked

Hoseok sighed and rubbed his temples “So...we were going to ask you to wait a few days to come pick him up. A new worker had been hired a few days ago and...that idiot” Hoseok groaned “ I think the handler got a little spooked when Yoongi growled at him and roughed him up pretty bad. He was fired right away.” Hoseok informed you.

You gasped out upon hearing this. Picturing someone hurting your Yoongi had you balling up your fists wishing that the horrible man could’ve been more than just fired.

“ Yoongi is going to be okay But he has been silent and curled up in bed for days. No one can get him to move, or eat.” Hoseok paused “Well he actually did say one thing...he asked when you’d be here for him. We told him we were going to have you wait a few days longer until he was better and that didn’t seem to sit well with him. We just didn’t want you to have to see him like that”

“No. I need to see him.” you knew it would break your heart to see him like that, but he needed you. He was asking for you, and they were going to make him wait longer? That annoyed you a bit.

Hoseok nodded and took you back to the room you were just last week. Yoongi was on the bed that was against the wall, unmoving and facing the nothingness in front of him with a thin blanket draped over his figure.

“Yoongi” Hoseok tapped the glass of the window “Someone’s here for you”

“I’m not moving until y/n gets here” you heard Yoongi mumble.

“Let's get you moving then” you called out to him with an affectionate smile.

Yoongi’s head whipped around to face the door, his eyes widening and a smile growing large on his face. He jumped up out of the bed and quickly ran over to the door pressing both of his hands up to the glass at you.

You could see a yellowing purple bruise on his cheek and his lower lip looked like it was healing from where it had been split open. It broke your heart seeing him like this, you needed to get him out of here before something like that could happen to him again.

“So can he come with me now?” you asked Hoseok.

“I’m still so skeptical about this. But, you have our number if you need anything.” Hoseok unlocks the door and invites Yoongi to come out.

You cautiously approach the hybrid man, opening your arms out for a hug. Yoongi instantly accepts your offer for a hug, pulling you into his chest with his strong arms. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and you could hear him taking a deep breath in, getting himself acquainted to the smell of you.

“Ready to go home?” you asked him. Yoongi nodded, still holding you tight in the hug. You giggled, “Alright let's go”

-----------------------------------------

Yoongi was nervous stepping into your home, he looked around at everything trying to get a feel for the place he was now going to be living.

You realized now that you knew nothing about him. Everything that had pulled you to him was pure feeling and you start to get nervous that maybe he would end up hating it here.

“You’ll have your own room, and really anything here is yours now too. Nothing’s off limits” You let him know. He nodded and went to sit down on your couch.

You decided to go join him, sitting with a good amount of distance between the two of you, not wanting to spook him.

“So...tell me about yourself?” you asked Yoongi. Not really sure what you were supposed to say or do now.

Yoongi smiled slightly, his lips pulling into a smirk. “You’re scared of me aren’t you” he spoke in a husky voice. His eyes narrowing looking you up and down.

You froze up instantly, getting awkward and nervous, “I-I wouldn’t say scared. Y-you said you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“You know I can tell that your heart is beating fast. The part of me that's not human can feel when someone feels like prey…”

Yoongi is silent and moves closer to you, bringing his face close to yours, you can feel his warm breath on your face as he looks you over with a dangerous expression.

“I trust you” you whispered.

Yoongi parted his lips slowly and opened his mouth wide then snapped his teeth together harshly and suddenly in a biting motion to the air between you. You flinched away from him and gasped.

Yoongi pulled back from you calmly and rolled his eyes “Yeah. I wouldn’t do that” he hissed as he relaxed back into the couch closing his eyes and crossing his arms across his chest.

“I’ll be back at the shelter soon.” he shrugged.

“What makes you say that? Do you plan on hurting me or something” you asked nervously, sliding back from him slightly.

“I don’t plan on it. But it always seems to happen that way. I’m jumpy…” he opened his eyes and frowned staring down at the floor “I really didn’t mean to hurt that kid. He pulled my tail hard while I was sleeping...it was just a reflex” he sighed, thinking back on that memory.

“Okay, so Yoongi 101. Don’t pull your tail. Got it”

You could tell Yoongi found that slightly amusing but was trying to hold back his laughter.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I think this is my last chance...and you seem...nice” he looked your way, his face getting dark and worried. “I’m scared I’ll hurt you, so it's better if you stay afraid of me, and just leave me alone”

Your face formed into a small pout. “Yoongi, I mean it, I trust you. Even if you do hurt me...I know you won’t mean it and I’ll learn from it what not to do next time” you informed him.

He shook his head “That’s a ridiculous thing to say. You’ll feel differently when it actually happens. You’ll be so scared of me, the sight of me will make you afraid in your own home. I can tell that’s what happened with the others. It happens every time. I always tried so hard to be good” he started to choke up a bit “I really want to be good. But I’m just not.”

You decided to move close to him again. Slowly, still slightly nervous, but wanting to assure him that the trust you said you have in him is real.

“Yoongi…” you sat now with your leg touching his slightly, you slowly placed a hand on his leg, making sure he saw you doing it so you weren’t catching him off guard.

Upon your touch his eyes grew wider slightly. He stared at you, his lower lip now between his teeth.

“Why did you act so nice to me at the shelter if you didn’t want to come home with me? I think you really do want to be here...So don’t worry about if it’ll end. Because I have faith in you, and when I saw you...there was something there. We had a connection don’t you think?”

“A connection…” he repeated. “Yes…I…” he shook his head and stopped himself from saying everything that was on his mind. He didn’t want to tell you what that connection was for him. That it was the way your lips looked, how jaw droppingly beautiful your body was to him. The way your eyes trailing over him make his heart skip a beat and feel like growing wings and flying right to you, for you to hold onto forever and always. He felt so foolish for falling for a human girl who was only just trying to be his owner, he knew that could never work, but he couldn’t help the feelings he was feeling. The best he could do was try to ignore them, put them deep down inside where no one could find them, maybe they would fade away if he just pretended that's not what this was.

---------------------------------------

The more time Yoongi spent at your house, the more comfortable he was becoming. He was still nervous around you, scared of himself and what he was capable of. Not wanting to hurt you, because of what he felt for you, and not wanting to feel for you, because he could hurt you.

But you had welcomed him in with such care. Every time you’d come home from work, you’d sit and talk with him about how your day went, he’d listen closely to every detail, loving hearing about your life and learning more about your personality, it only strengthened the feelings he was trying to bury.

One time he happened to pass by the bathroom on his way to his room at night and realized you’d left the door a crack open. You were completely naked and getting ready to step into the shower. Your back was turned to him so he was sure you hadn’t noticed him standing there, but oh did he notice you. Your curves and body were so perfect, the shape of your ass had him growing crazy with want. It took everything in him to turn his eyes away and retreat to his room before he did anything that would probably just end up embarrassing himself.

With each passing day that feeling had started to grow, and cloud his thoughts even when you weren’t there.

One friday night you had ordered pizza for the two of you, Yoongi was excited to try the pizza you had ordered, he’d never been allowed to eat with his humans at his other houses, they usually fed him separately from the rest of the household and it was always generic hybrid food. Most all breeds of hybrids were able to eat human food, but most owners found that too expensive and just opted for blends of bland dry food that was just enough nutrition to sustain their hybrid. But you let him eat with you at the dinner table or the couch every day, you’d even given him permission to help himself to anything in the fridge whenever he wanted as long as he cleaned up after himself. Life with you was bliss.

Yoongi had gone to his room to lie down for a quick nap while you waited for the pizza to arrive. He slowly drifted into a light sleep, only to be awakened a few minutes later by the sound of your doorbell ringing. He smiled and rolled over onto his side, listening to the cute way you answered the door.

“Yay! Pizza! Thank you, and here’s your tip” you spoke cutely at the pizza delivery man.

“I can think of a better way you could tip me pretty lady” Yoongi heard the man speak at you in a tone of voice that didn’t sit well with him at all.

Yoongi felt the fur on his tail stand up straight as a chill went down his spine.

“Ah no, um,” You awkwardly were trying to just hand the tip to the man and shut the door.

Yoongi heard a thud, the delivery man had put his foot in the door to stop you from shutting it and was pushing it back open.

“Aww come on sweet thing. I gave you something delicious, I just want to taste something delicious as well”

At that Yoongi was out of bed and to your side in a flash. Growling loudly and baring his pointed teeth at the man at the door.

“She said no. So unless you want me to rip your arms off I’d suggest you get going and hope that calms me down enough and I don’t feel like coming after you just to make sure you don’t ever come back.” he hissed standing tall with an aggressive stance. Yoongi snapped his teeth at the man warning him that he was completely serious.

The man's eyes widened and he quickly scurried away. Yoongi watched from the window to make sure the man got in his car and was driving away, growling until the man was completely out of sight.

You had set the pizza down on the table and were staring wide eyed at Yoongi.

Yoongi suddenly felt embarrassed, “Y/n, I’m so sorry, I was out of control, I shouldn’t have-”

“Are you kidding me? That was amazing. Yoongi. Thank you” you ran up to him, throwing your arms around his neck tightly and burying your face into his chest.

Yoongi was surprised, he had expected you to scold him for being aggressive, but you seemed so happy.

“Wait, really? I wasn’t bad?” Yoongi asked you softly.

“No way! I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t here” you pulled back and looked him in the eye, brushing away a strand of hair that was falling into his eyes. Your face was only inches from his, you both suddenly paused and got serious, realizing the closeness. Yoongi could sense your heart was beating quickly and mistook it for you suddenly getting scared. He pulled back from you.

You shook your head trying to snap yourself out of the odd thought that had just ran through your head. You didn’t think of Yoongi that way, you couldn’t possibly.

--------------------------------

The next few days had been...strange. Yoongi had started to become unusual in his behaviors. He seemed to be getting a lot more clingy, always over your shoulder whenever you were doing anything around the house, and getting slightly embarrassed when you’d call him out on it. You had taken him out with you grocery shopping and he had growled at a man that he caught checking you out. You didn’t scold him but you knew that it was slightly out of line the way he was behaving.

Yoongi had caught on to you being displeased with him. He was embarrassed but he couldn’t help it, he had started feeling so protective of you, and the thought of any other man's eyes on you just made his blood boil. He didn’t quite understand himself what was happening to him.

You had told Yoongi you were going to Namjoon’s house for a visit and that it was probably best if he just stayed back. You felt awful for having to say that to him, but Namjoon’s hybrid Jimin was pretty skittish and territorial, and had said he wasn’t sure he’d feel comfortable with a black panther hybrid in his home.

Yoongi pouted as you gathered your coat and purse getting ready to leave. You had made sure Yoongi had dinner and things to do while you were away.

“I’m really sorry again Yoongi, I swear I won’t be gone long”

Yoongi grumbled something inaudible and glared down at the ground. It broke your heart that he might be angry with you for leaving, and you debated on calling Namjoon to cancel, but decided against it, you haven't seen your friend in so long and you missed him.

“Okay I’m off” you sang, trying to give Yoongi a warm smile before heading off.

Yoongi suddenly pulled you in to a big hug, nuzzling his head into your neck and all over your shoulders.

“I’m gonna miss you too” you laughed patting him on the head before pulling him off of you and heading out the door.

-------------------------------------------

You had a good time at Namjoon’s, Jimin was excited to see you. “Y/n!” he shouted out excitedly jumping into your arms and giving you a large hug. “You smell like a big cat” he scrunched his nose up at the smell of Yoongi.

“That would be my Yoongi you’re smelling Jimin” you chuckled at him. As he made a barfing face. “He smells.” Jimin whined.

Namjoon laughed at his hybrid, motioning for him to come sit next to him on their couch.

“Don’t be rude Jimin, he just really doesn’t like cats” he shook his head and rolled his eyes.

The three of you spent the next few hours chatting and playing games, you had been missing Yoongi most of the time, wondering what he was up to back home, if he was alright, if he was angry with you for not being able to bring him with.

Jimin was sitting in your lap falling asleep when you noticed it was getting late.

“Shit. I told Yoongi I wouldn’t be long! Sorry Namjoon, I gotta get going”

Namjoon nodded and went to lift sleeping Jimin off of you and putting him to bed in his room before coming out to see you off.

“Hey y/n. So I didn’t really want to get into this talk with Jimin still nearby. But are things really going okay?” Namjoon stood at the door as you were leaving.

“Oh. Yeah if you mean like has he hurt me that's a definite no.” you told him

Namjoon nodded “That's good to hear”

“He has been acting...odd though. He recently started to just growl and lash out at random people at the store or out on walks just for looking at me. I know some animals get extra aggressive when they are sick, and he is part animal and all, so you don’t think he could be sick or something do you?” you asked. That thought had been worrying you lately with Yoongi’s strange behavior.

“Is it just with men? Or anyone?” Namjoon asks, thinking deeply about something.

“Just men actually” You realized just then.

“Oh...Interesting. I’ll look into it and let you know y/n” Namjoon said looking like he already had an idea of what it might be, but keeping it to himself. “See you soon I hope!” he smiled and gave you a hug goodbye.

----------------------------------------

When you got home Yoongi didn’t come running to the door like he usually did. Your fears that he was mad at you were heightening.

“Yoongi?” you called out. Walking to his room you realized the bathroom door was wide open, and you could hear the shower running.

“I’ll be out soon” Yoongi grumbled, poking his head around the shower curtain.

Your cheeks blushed pink slightly and quickly turned around to give him privacy. You waited on the couch for him, taking off your shoes and settling in with a blanket draped over your legs and flipping through channels on the TV.

Yoongi walked out to where you were sitting and plopped down lazily onto the couch next to you. His black strands of hair were wet and clinging to his face in such an appealing manner, and you couldn’t help but let your eyes linger on the fact that he had opted not to put a shirt on after his shower. He was sitting there in only black sweatpants with a white stripe up the side.

“You’re not mad at me are you?” you asked, tearing your eyes away from his chest and trying to look him in the eye hoping he didn’t notice you staring.

Yoongi didn’t respond, staring straight ahead at the television.

“Earth to Yoongi” you waved your hand at him.

Yoongi groaned and scooted close to you, catching you off guard he brought his face close to your neck and breathed in slightly. He instantly growled and recoiled away from you.

“Yoongi!” you exclaimed at his behavior, “what’s gotten into you!”

His face was growing slightly red and flushed as was his chest.

You slowly moved over to him and placed your hand on his forehead. He grabbed your wrist instantly holding you just tightly enough that it hurt a tiny bit. He released you instantly once he noticed you wince in pain.

“Yoongi you’re really warm…” you murmured, rubbing at your wrist. “Are you...sick?”

“If you can count that disgusting dog smell all over you that’s making me nauseous” he muttered.

You rolled your eyes. “Yoongi I’m serious, you’ve been acting strangely, are you okay?”

Yoongi growled slightly, he looked you over with the most animalistic expression you’d ever seen on his face. “I’m fine” he muttered through gritted teeth.

You sighed and let it go for now, planning on calling Namjoon as soon as Yoongi went to bed.

-----------------------------------

“So he was really angry with me when I got home. He’s burning up with a fever and is acting really...feral?” you told Namjoon over the phone.

Namjoon sighed “Okay. So I didn’t want to have to say this unless I was almost 100% sure that this is what I thought it was” he paused “But, I think it is. So I’m going to ask you some awkward questions.”

“Huh? Awkward... Like what?”

“Have you and Yoongi ever been...intimate?” Namjoon asked

“Intimate like hugs? He does hug me a lot but he has been getting more clingy lately”

“Okay, I guess that answers that” He chuckled “Awkward question number two that you probably never wanted to hear from your best friend. When's your next...time of the month” Namjoon avoided saying the word, cringing a little bit at having to bring this up to you.

“Time of the month? Well I had my last one a little over a week ago? What the fuck does that have to do with anything” you asked, embarassed to be discussing this with Namjoon.

“So...there's a good chance that you’re ovulating.” Namjoon states “And thats whats happening to him”

“Wait...How does that have anything to do with Yoongi?”

Namjoon groans on the other end of the line “Ahh are you really gonna make me talk about this stuff with you. You really didn’t look anything up about cat hybrids.” he paused again “So you ovulating...is similar to what a cat being in heat. Half of Yoongi is a part of the big cat species and...its in his biology to pick up on that sort of thing.”

“So he’s mad at me because I’m ovulating...I still don’t understand Namjoon”

“Dammit y/n. You know we don’t talk about this stuff” he groaned again with a laugh. “Yoongi’s biology...Is telling him to mate with you. He’s probably embarrassed and trying to fight against it and that’s why he’s so cranky. It makes him a lot more clingy and protective of you around other men he might see as a threat to his chance of mating with you. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jimin’s scent on you tonight had him in rage”

You were quiet in shock. Yoongi wanted to mate with you? Or at least the part of him that wasn’t human was telling him he wanted to…

“What...what do I do about that?” you stammered.

“Umm. I suppose you have a few options. Just let him kinda deal with it himself until it passes, he’ll probably just keep being like he is, and he won’t feel well. You could...encourage him to try and let out his frustrations through some self relief” Namjoon suggested “Or…” he sighed “You could...you know...help him. If you want”

“Help him? Meaning…” your eyes widening as you realized what Namjoon was implying “Meaning sleep with him!?”

“It’s not that uncommon for Hybrids to mate with Humans y/n. But don’t do it if you don’t want things to become serious that way between the two of you. To mate with him...would be a big deal for him. It wouldn’t just be something casual.” Namjoon told you.

“Oh...noted. I-I uh. I think I get it” you muttered.

“Okay sweet we can be done talking about this now” Namjoon laughed “Good luck, and feel free to call if you need any advice”

You nodded and said goodbye to Namjoon. Wondering what to do about the situation that you were in now. You definitely thought Yoongi was attractive, and the way you felt for him was more than just being roommates, or just his owner. You had thought of him as a friend...a close friend who you really cared for. Could it possibly have become more than that at some point. The thought that he wanted to mate with you actually had made you happy when Namjoon said it, you were certainly surprised, but part of you became excited at the thought that Yoongi was thinking of you that way.

You went to walk to your room, walking past Yoongi’s room on your way. As you did you heard a loud pained noise coming from his room. Thinking he might be hurt somehow you quickly swung the door open.

Your stomach clenched at the sight. Yoongi was laying out on his bed in a sweat rolling back and forth, one hand clutching the sheets tightly and the other holding his crotch through his pants. His face flushed and his chest was heaving up and down heavily. You gasped out realizing that you walked in on something you probably shouldn’t have.

His eyes shot to meet yours, his cat like pupils blown out, staring at your figure still standing in the doorway hungrily.

“Y-yoongi, sorry, I thought…” you stuttered out.

“Y/n. Please...It’s too much. I can’t handle it” he groaned.

You didn’t know exactly what he was asking for. Please leave? Please come closer? You stood still debating your next move. Thinking back on Namjoon’s words, if you decided to go through with this, it would mean a lot to Yoongi emotionally, you would basically be committing to him. You realized that the idea of that wouldn’t be so bad, for Yoongi to be yours in more ways than he already was, that thought made your heart warm. So maybe you really did want this.

You thought back to the day that you had first met him, intertwining your fingers with his in that room at the shelter. You now imagine intertwining every part of your body with his.

You bit your lip lightly.

Yoongi continued writhing in his bed, eyes still on you, his breathing shallow and quick.

“Why are you just standing there” he moaned out.

You took a few steps into his room. “Yoongi...do you...want me? Is that really what this is?” you asked quietly, making sure you weren’t embarrassing yourself by assuming.

He growled, but different than his normal aggressive growls, this one was full of lust and want.

“Want? y/n…” he growled again “Need. I need you.” he extending an arm out, pawing for you to come closer to him.

You felt butterflies filling your stomach. I’m doing this, you thought, taking a deep breath.

You approached the side of the bed cautiously crawling up on your hands and knees to get close to him.

He instantly pulled you on top of him. Your legs straddling over his hips and obvious erection that you could now feel through his sweatpants.

His face was so close to yours as you hovered over him.

“You need me too right?” he asked in a whisper, his hooded eyes staring at your lips as he darted his tongue out to wet his own lips.

You nodded shyly. “Yes Yoongi. I need you” you admitted to him.

“Mmm” he moaned out at your words. His hand quickly found its way to the back of your head and he guided you to him, connecting his lips with yours in a hungry and desperate kiss.

He growled lowly into your mouth as your kisses became more and most lustful, getting lost in the bliss that you felt being this close with him.

His hand left your neck and slowly trailed it’s way down your back and ending up on your ass. He gave you a light squeeze that caused you to moan back into his mouth in return. His other hand joined in grabbing you, moving you to rock your hips against him, relieving some of the pained need that he was feeling right where you were now rubbing against him.

You dragged your nails lightly down his chest from his collar bones all the way down to his hips. He moaned and bucked his hips up in response, your actions affecting him heavily.

“Fuck, y/n. I can’t take it anymore. I need to be inside of you. I need you so badly” he whined.

You sat up and lifted your shirt up off of yourself, then unhooked your bra, tossing it aside frantically, before returning back to the kisses.

“Oh my god” he had gasped out, his eyes wide, admiring your naked figure.

You smiled and started moving the kisses to his neck, kitten licking for a moment making him grab tightly onto your ass at the sensation. You moved your way down his body, planting light kisses the whole way down, each one causing a small growl to escape Yoongi’s lips.

Finally you reach the band of the sweatpants still resting on his hips. You hooked your fingers around it and pulled down, his erection sprung free and was now laying against his stomach, hard, his need for you very apparent, and...so big. You gasped out at the sight, and hungrily licked your lips, wanting to taste him.

You wrapped a hand around the base of his cock, loving the feel of his smooth skin and the weight of him in your hand, and then lowered your head to him. He watched attentively while you, With a flattened tongue you licked a long wet stripe up his shaft, flicking your tongue on the underside of his tip, then up to savour the salty drop of precum that had been sitting there.

Yoongi then tilted his head back into the pillow, his eyes tightly shut, biting his lip with a loud needy moan as you take him all the way in your mouth. “Y/n. fuck.”

You chuckled slightly at that, the vibrations from your laugh making his hips jerk up into you reflexively. You took him in as much as you could, hollowing out your cheeks as you did.

He was so responsive to every movement you did, moaning, growling and moving his hips up off of the mattress. You felt the warm arousal in your center getting wetter with every noise you pulled from his lips. He was so beautiful, so perfect, so...yours. You continued to bob your head up and down on him, his hands found themselves tangled in your hair moving with you as you took his entire length. Your nose was pressing right into his stomach now and he held you tightly there for a moment, jerking his hips up into your mouth ever so slightly while growling erotically at the feeling. He released his grip on your hair allowing you to catch your breath.

“So good” you heard him whisper.

You stopped and started bringing your kisses back up his stomach and chest and back to his lips, planting sloppy kisses onto his soft lips.

He quickly wrapped an arm around your waist holding you close to his body and flipped you around quickly so that you were now flat on your back on the bed.

He sat back on his knees to slide your shorts and panties off your trembling legs in one graceful movement. Licking his lips at the sight of you now completely naked on the bed in front of him.

Yoongi then positioned his cock between your legs, right at the entrance between your folds. He paused for a moment, like he was debating on whether he should. You knew that must be hard for him, his primal urges were evident in every movement, yet he still restrained himself to double check that this was really what you wanted.

“Yoongi, fuck me. Please fuck me” you whined out, not wanting to wait a second longer to feel him filling you up.

Yoongi didn’t wait a moment as soon as the okay passed your lips. You felt his entire length glide into you, and he started at a fervent pace. He dropped himself down so his chest was brushing against your breasts with every thrust into you, your hard and erect nipples grazing against his skin. He took a hand and brushed your messy hair away from your face, holding the side of your cheek lovingly and looking into your eyes as he moaned in the most lewd manner.

The feeling of him moving inside of you was heavenly, he filled you up perfectly, and each movement sent shock waves through you in the most perfect way. You glanced down and were able to slightly see the beautiful sight of where your bodies were meeting, his cock moving in and out of you, your wet juices glistening on him every time he pulled out.

It seemed to be feeling just as well for him. His expression was so fucked out as he stared down at you in awe.

His next words caught you slightly off guard.

“Mine.” he growled, reaching a hand to grip onto the side of your waist tightly, holding you steady as his thrusts quickened and became more aggressive and carnal. His hand clutched your face roughly.

“Mine.” he repeated with a serious expression, his eyes narrowed, it didn’t sound like a question, but you realized that he was looking for a response. He continued his pace but his face stilled, waiting for the words he wanted to hear.

“Yours.” you smiled at him while you moaned out “I’m yours Yoongi”

His expression instantly turned into pure joy. He lowered his face to the crook of your neck as he seemed to like to do, rubbing himself against you.

“I’ve almost got that dog scent off of you” he grumbled. “I don’t like it”

You realized that what Namjoon had said was true, he really was bothered by Jimin’s scent, it explained why he recoiled from you on the couch. You also realized that must’ve been what he was doing when he rubbed his face over you before you left to go over there. He was trying to cover you in his scent, mark you as his. You were his, and you couldn’t be happier about that.

Yoongi’s hips had started to roll against you in just the right way, brushing his cock against a spot inside you that was pushing you closer and closer to your high.

“Y-yoongi, don’t stop, please, right there, i-it’s so” you gasped out. Clutching his hair on the back of his head tightly as your whole body tensed.

The knot of pleasure building in your stomach was growing more and more each time he moved inside of you.

“I-I’m gonna cum Yoongi, you’re going to make me come” you squealed out. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head at the feeling. Your release was so intense, like waves crashing all around and spreading all over your body. Your walls clenched tightly around Yoongi’s cock as he continued and carried you through your high.

“Holy fuck that was beautiful.” he gasped out, wide eyed looked down at you now, planting a soft kiss on your lips. “And all mine” he added with a growl, dropping his head again and bucking his hips into you in a frantic pace, repeating ‘mine’ on a loop as he did.

“I’m…” he began but it all happened too fast for him to finish his sentence. Suddenly a sharp pain shot into your shoulder. He was biting you, hard. Surprisingly it didn’t bother you one bit, the pain mixed with the pleasure that he was giving you with his cock seemed to be a blissful combination. You moaned out loudly, as did Yoongi, continuing to grip onto your skin with his teeth. Your vision became blurry as you were lost in the hazy lust filled moment. His hips started to break their steady pace and stutter as he came inside of you. His cock twitching as his hot cum filled you up, and your tight walls milking him through his completion.

He was panting heavily, beads of sweat had formed on his forehead. He finally released his grip on your shoulder, pulling back suddenly as he realized what he’d done.

“Oh my god. y/n…” he gasped he face fell as he stared at your shoulder. “I-I hurt you”

You brought a hand to your stinging shoulder and realized you were bleeding. “Oh…” you were still too deep in the euphoric moment that the two of you had shared to feel the pain fully.

You noticed Yoongi’s eyes starting to form tears as he pulled himself completely away from you, wrapping his arms around himself in shame and rolling onto his side facing away from you.

“Hey. Don’t do that” you pouted at him, turning to put your arms around him.

“I hurt you” he sobbed. “I’m supposed to protect you. And I hurt you”

“Yoongi. It’s fine. Really, I liked it. All of it” you emphasized that last bit, “that was so amazing for me” you told him.

He turned his head to face you, “Really? Even though I hurt you? You don’t hate me?”

“Hate you!?” you almost shouted. “Yoongi. I could never hate you. In fact…” you paused debating whether or not you should say...but you figured after all that had just happened, it couldn’t be the worst moment

“Yoongi, I love you. I’m yours...and you’re mine”

He turned all the way around to face you with a smile, “You...love me” he whispered.

You nodded.

“Y/n. I love you too” he pulled you into a warm and comforting hug. “I’m yours”

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts smau #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #suga x reader #suga x you #bts hybrid fic #hybrid fic #yoongi #bts #bts x you #yoongi smut #suga smut #yoongi hybrid

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fanfiction-artist-prototype · 4 years ago

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For the ask game X

This is gonna sound so false but uh... I dont really have a list?

Like, let me explain, I love a lot of characters, I would even say I stan quite a few but I'm also not really inclined to classify them in that way? They're just like 'wow I think this character is cool I like them' and that's it?

I know a few people who have favourite characters that will never ever change but I'll be honest most of my favourite characters can change in a singular conversation? I also wouldnt say I'm inclined to 'die defending' any particular character?

A list of characters that I would say are in the least fluctuation though would have to be:

Eri (BNHA) purely because like, let this child live a life of some happiness without tearing the rug out from under her good god!

Kellen (Spellslinger) because he's a disaster, he's well aware of it and the books could be literally summed up as 'Kellen is trying his best to varying degrees of success'. Not always a good person but he's the protagonist and I think he's a really good one. Definitely feels like a 3D person. My only problem with him is how his culture and race are displayed rather drastically differently- but that was cleared up in later books but is still a bit dicey with me.

Fujioka Haruhi (OHSHC) need I say more? My second ever anime that kind of set the bar a bit too high. Like I've seen shows with better animation and inarguably better put together storylines but Haruhi holds my heart because she's level headed but is allowed to be angry, she's tomboyish but is allowed to be girly and she's allowed to be independent whilst falling in love both romantically and platonically. Also let's be honest Ouran was ahead of it's time and we all love Haruhi and her father (using that term because said character uses that term even if it doesn't necessarily match their identity)

Shiota Nagisa (Assassination Classroom) - I love this anime in its entirety- I usually hate fan service jokes because 90% of shows I've seen where fan service is the subjects are underage and it just makes me uncomfortable but if you like fan service then that's your taste but Ms.Bitch is really funny, almost made this one for her- Nagisa is such an interesting character and (despite the over use of cross dressing jokes) I love how his apperance is used as something to be utilised and reclaimed for him. But also just tiny, very filled with rage child? Something I can get behind.

Inej (Six of Crows) once more, need I say more? A strong woman who's faced disgusting traumatizing things but is pushing herself forward with her life while still facing repercussions- CAN WE SAY HELL YEAH FOR CHARACTERS SUFFERING ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES FOR TRAUMA AND IT NOT BEING PITY POINTS- while still being a badass. Also her life goal is to go around on a pirate ship murdering slave traders because she was a sufferer of the slave trade? Also one of the first times she speaks is just like:

Her holding a knife to someone's throat and telling them she likes it when men beg for their lives?? Because she had no control over her body or her life for a time and now she enjoys having bodily autonomy and control over her life and others??

Anyway I hoped this sufficed!!

Have a lovely day/night!!

#ask game #answers

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armsdealing · 4 years ago

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the adhd/add blues.

émile was not diagnosed with add until he nearly dropped out of trade school after a series of mental breakdowns throughout his early twenties. while he excelled at the tasks he did complete, he had trouble with focusing in his work, with procrastination, and with taking care of himself while keeping up with his studies. as a result of his seeming underperformance, he began to feel severely depressed, neglecting his eating, sleeping and exercising habits. he turned irritable, restless, angry. he was constantly tired, and he severely lacked motivation to continue with his education.

"a major problem for most adults with add: without the structure of school, without parents around to get things organized for him or her, the adult may stagger under the organizational demands of everyday life. the supposed little things may mount up to create huge obstacles. for the want of a proverbial nail -- a missed appointment, a lost check, a forgotten deadline -- their kingdom may be lost.” -- hallowell and ratey's suggested diagnostic criteria for attention deficit disorder in adults

but this was not the first time he’d felt this way: he’d spent the better part of his life thinking there was something off with him, but his concerns were ignored. his teachers never considered the possibility to a neurological aspect to his problems, and never brought up the topic of adhd -- they just frequently sent him to detention. his parents, while very loving and understanding, chalked it up to a learning disorder like dyslexia, or just general lack of motivation, typical of boyhood. as a result, they tried to set up strict routines for him, and helped him with his homework directly. this much helped him alleviate the issue, and his grades improved, but it never addressed the root of the problem.

it reflects, also, the history of underdiagnosis and undertreatment of add found in black and latinx children. according to a 2014 study by paul morgan, professor of education and director of the center for educational disparities research at psu, by the time children reach eighth grade, african american children are 69 percent less likely — and latino children 50 percent less likely — to receive an adhd diagnosis than their white counterparts. this study was reaffirmed and complemented by follow-up studies with similar, if not even more marked, results.

the reason for this disparity is multi-causal, and not the topic of this headcanon. in émile’s case, the idea of a psychological evaluation simply never came up when he was young, and it was not addressed by his parents. eventually, even émile began to accept his feelings and struggles as just the natural way of things. around his friends, there was also a heavy stigma around “craziness”, after all, and he did not want to be seen as crazy. further mental stress was placed around trying to “fit in”.

so, it takes being on his own for him to realize the depth of his problem. it takes some work, too, admittedly, to find specialists that will assist him effectively without disregarding his concerns (as it’s frequent for black and brown individuals). he goes through a couple of therapists first before ending up with one that brings up the topic of add and conducts proper evaluations.

the first feeling he gets from this diagnosis is relief -- it clicks, it feels right, this must be his problem. the second is anxiety -- and shame for not having realized things sooner. there’s also fear that he might be making everything up in his mind. and even to this day, that’s a feeling he struggles with on occasion (making him sometimes considering going without his meds).

his parents were hesitant about this development, but ultimately supportive. more so his mother than his father, who was initially concerned about drugs drastically having an impact on émile’s personality, or him becoming addicted to them on some level (a common misconception). it took some discussion to get him on the same page, and nowadays they both agree and support his diagnosis and decision to be medicated.

and sure enough, after much grief and experimentation with different meds, émile is currently under treatment, with meds that work for him, and that he’s comfortable with. it helps him with his focus and generally being a responsible adult. the medicine, however, is not 100% perfect and secondary effects may surface on occasion, but it’s better than nothing and certainly better than the feeling of brainfog that clouds him whenever he isn’t on his meds. moreover, it’s not just about them -- a lot of his problems (especially with emotional dysregulation) -- are things he has to actively work on and manage. so it’s still an ongoing process, but he’s a lot better than he used to be in his teenage years. he also managed to graduate successfully and even with above average grades.

#* emile.#hc.#this most isnt final and it's merely an introduction of sorts to me discussing émile's adhd cuz it's still an ongoing process #post*

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wisdomrays · 4 years ago

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FORGIVENESS: A Prophetic Example

The compelling conditions of our time offer human society two paths to choose from. We will either continue past enmities and stereotypes, or we will learn how to live in peaceful coexistence. It is a world of global connectedness, and in order to make peace sustainable, we need to develop new paradigms of peaceful engagement. The example of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, presents us with many such paradigms that we can adapt to our current circumstances. Like all of his predecessors did before him, the Prophet showed utmost mercy and forgiveness to everyone, so much so that even his staunch enemies sought refuge under his wings of compassion.

After he began to call his people to belief, the Prophet had to face all kinds of torment during his peaceful mission for thirteen years in Mecca. After numerous grievous incidents, he had to leave his town and reluctantly immigrated to Medina. From most people's point of view, the Meccans were absolutely to be declared as "the enemy"-or "the other." However, the Prophet did not behave inimical to anyone. He always treated people humanely, no matter what lethal traps they set for him. He never failed to extend his tender hand with a candid clemency and compassion. Even during many inexorable combats, he always prayed to his Lord, chiefly for those who smashed his helmet off, broke his tooth, and left his face covered with blood in battles like Badr and Uhud. Not only did he hinder his followers from bearing any oppugnant attitude against their merciless foes, he also blocked maledictions and imprecations to any adversary, even those who, for instance on the day of Uhud, had ripped the bodies of nearly 70 beloved ones into pieces beyond recognition with an incredible brutality.

Although his opponents were bloodthirsty and yearning for war, his sword was never besmeared by red hot blood; he never killed anyone. He did not represent anything other than loving compassion in the world.

He never broke off his previous social connections. He did not approach anyone with a bias. He always held the door open in order to mildly flatter their vanities. He never hurt anyone's pride deliberately. While his sworn enemies took the gloves off for any opportunity to assassinate him, he treated everyone amicably by taking into consideration the potential positions they would likely to hold in the near future. Because he knew that every individual had a respectable essence, he thought the most appropriate action was to awaken this divine kernel. He took action in this direction, though horrid provocations did not cease, and he did that with a worthy perseverance.

Glad tidings

The Prophet dealt with every one of his opponents with utmost care, and he took very strategic measures not to destroy them but to conquer their hearts.

Giving the glad tidings of a coming peace, the following verse was revealed right after the Battle of the Trench:

(When you obey God in His commands and prohibitions,) it may be that God will bring about love and friendship between you and those of them with whom you are in enmity. God is All-Powerful, and God is All-Forgiving, All-Compassionate. (60:7)

Peace was so close, just at their threshold. Having received this good news, the Prophet initiated immediate action by demanding to marry the daughter of Abu Sufyan, who was then the political leader of the Meccans. Establishing bonds of kinship with him would be a plausible step in order to eradicate hostility. Umm Habiba, Abu Sufyan's daughter, was among the group of Muslims who had fled the Meccan torture and sought refuge in Ethiopia. However, her husband died there, and she was left alone with her child without any protection. By marrying her, the Prophet would not only save this devoted Muslim woman from despair and honor her, but would also form a connection with Abu Sufyan that would not be possible by any other way. This marriage was realized soon, and afterwards everything changed dramatically.

Abu Sufyan, who was one of the staunch enemies of the Prophet until that day, could easily enter the Prophet's home to visit Umm Habiba, his daughter. Now, Abu Sufyan could learn more about Islam through his daughter Umm Habiba. He began to realize soon that Muslims were not as he had believed. In a short period of time, the difference in Abu Sufyan's attitude became more and more obvious. He turned out to be more moderate, more cautious, and more candid in reciprocal dialogue attempts.

Prominent figures of Mecca, Khalid ibn al-Walid, Safwan ibn-i Umayya, Suhayl ibn Amr and Ikrima ibn al-Jahl were exerting pressure on Abu Sufyan to take drastic actions against believers. Despite all of their intolerable pressure, Abu Sufyan resisted their aggressiveness, having realized that they were the ones who were unfair, not those on the Prophet's side.

Making peace

Even in the most critical conditions he did not give up. Despite all the provocations of evil-doers and his own fellow tribesmen's objections, he made agreements with his crucial adversaries and fulfilled peaceful commitments with them.

The radical change of Abu Sufyan was an explicit hope for others. The Prophet tried his best to take advantage of every single opportunity to get in touch with any of them.

After his immigration to Medina, the economic and social conditions of Mecca had gradually deteriorated. The Meccans were suffering from drought, famine, hunger, and misery. For sure, he could not have remained indifferent to this heart-rending situation. He sent them food and other needed aid; he literally inundated them with an immense benevolent contribution on the back of hundreds of camels. But, unfortunately the Meccans rejected all of it. Then he sent all the aid directly to Abu Sufyan. Afterwards Abu Sufyan distributed everything to the poor and needy Meccans.

The Prophet those days gave weight to free commerce and trading with other communities, particularly with Meccans. He knew that business trading was an excellent opportunity to get in touch with others. Thus they could have found so many new ways to maintain peaceful relations.

Regrettably, all the peaceful attempts made by God's Holy Messenger were either repelled or responded to with brutal violence by the Meccans. They once attacked a Muslim tribe in the pitch dark of midnight and slaughtered 23 civilians in a village near Medina. By committing this crime, the Meccans also violated the Hudaybiya peace treaty.

Following this brutal attack, the Messenger of God sent envoys to Mecca, offering them various options to solve the problem peacefully, rather than an immediate retaliation: he asked them to pay the blood money and cut their relations with other warring tribes that participated in this crime. Failing to obey these conditions would mean the Hudaybiya treaty was violated as well as a declaration of war. But the Meccans refused every amicable offer. The only option left for the Prophet was to march to Mecca. Realizing that they would not be able to resist, some of the eminent Meccans fled in confusion to distant towns of the Arab Sahara. God's Messenger sent someone in pursuit of every missing Meccan. Umm Haqim, Ikrima's wife, who had fled all the way to Yemen, went after him. She dared all dangers on the way to find her husband, another relentless enemy of the Prophet and the son of Abu Jahl, and to introduce him to the Prophet's mercy. Umayr ibn Wahb, once a hitman hired by Safwan ibn Umayya to kill the Prophet, went after Safwan twice, reaching him in Jeddah en route to Ethiopia, and convinced to him to return to Mecca. Suhayl ibn Amr was brought back by Abdullah, his own son whom he tortured for years. He wrote letter after letter to Wahshi, who had murdered Hamza, the Prophet's uncle, and invited Hind, who had hired Wahshi for this murder, to come in peace and that she was forgiven. The Prophet called them back home promising to forgive all their past assaults and guaranteed their protection. Mecca became a land of peace and serenity, thanks to his efforts and merciful invitation.

The Prophet's immense forgiveness is an example for us today as to how we should engage with past atrocities. It is a message of self-reformation that teaches us that we can subdue feelings of revenge and hatred and build a society in compassion and love.

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sellersandfriends-blog · 5 years ago

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Where To Get Escape From Tarkov Roubles?

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Say “No” to money problems and accounts on other site that doesn't tell you the truth about EFT and in-game trading on Flea Market and you may succeed. After reading this guide, you will always have a good quantity of credit money to spare for the Raids. And if you dump it into some expensive things that you lose immediately - you will always know how to get back your lost input quickly under our circumstances. Let’s get to work, exile!

Using Vendors Properly

The essential thing, it will most likely get your eyes rolling. But some people don’t know about it, so let’s make things clear. Each vendor will pay you a different amount of money for sold goods. And not all vendors will want to buy your stuff. The Fence will purchase everything, but he will always offer you the lowest price for your goods. The Therapist will give you a lot of money for medications and civilian things like Toilet Paper. Prapor will pay the most for ammo, Skier for certain type of armor and clothes, and Peacekeeper will pay you in Dollars instead of Roubles.

Knowing which things should be sold to which character is crucial here. But don’t jump on the bandwagon. Just because you can get the most amount of money from one vendor, doesn’t mean that Flea Market has the same thing to say about that.

Understanding The Flea Market

Flea Market is the place where you will make the most money, as long as you are able to put in some time towards building up your amount of Roubles. And we will give you a perfect strat in just a moment, but we have to clear some air.

You can sell only three items at a time. It might make you think that you will wait for a very long time before an item gets sold, and it will take a lot of time to sell things from your large scav backpack. Wrong. Don’t be mistaken. This “3 item only” policy doesn’t stand in your way of quick-selling things. In fact, if you know the ways of the merchant, you will sell those items faster than you can actually set the price for the next item. Escape From Tarkov players get all sorts of things from the Flea Market, even things that don’t seem very useful. Even without the Coronavirus, Toilet Paper - was disappearing from the market in no time. And all you have to do is use it.

Rat Runs

There are Chads, and there are Rats. Shads kill people and use their stuff. Rats loot around the map, not getting into bigger fights, unless those are absolutely safe and served on a plate, and they will sell things on the Flea Market. If you want to make money fast in the beginning - it is your way of building your bank up. Being a Rat.

Is there something wrong about it? No, but people will surely look down on you. And they should, that's price of becoming rich very fast at the beginning of Escape From Tarkov. Escape the shame. And you will have to get through this if you want to use this method. Or you can remain proud and poor.

So you hop on the map with close to nothing. We still recommend taking a bigger low-tier firearm, vest with space, and a backpack with some space. The reason is simple. You’re on the Rat Run. If you don’t have space to stock up on valuable things, how are you going to make money? It’s better to invest 20-40k into a mission by taking a backpack, than finding some valuable things that will net you MILLIONS in an hour of looting and not having the space to take them.

Item Spots of High Quality

What about spots? You will have to look for them yourself. The less smart rats there are, the more healthy the EFT community remains. If we give you the best spots immediately, there will be more people ratting instead of playing the game, and the Flea Market will be completely busted. Nobody wants that. It is why we can guide you towards certain spots, but we won’t tell you about them all.

The best areas to get some valuable stuff are places in which you can either find some military gear or electronic gear. You won’t find anything useful in Factory or Customs. However, if you go to Interchange or the Reserve, you will find a lot of things that might interest you.

You will get the most value by picking up items that are either behind closed doors or are stacked up in stashes. There’s nothing better than finding a stash full of purple items, that you can easily sell on Flea Market, netting you a dozen thousands each.

You can also kill Scavs. But keep in mind that in some locations - Scavs will bring you better things in comparison to other maps. The Laboratory is the best for that, there’s a specific spot on the map, and a way of spawning in Scavs that you should be able to efficiently kill if you’ve got the firepower and penetrative ammo to do so. You will have to press a button or two to spawn them in, but you can easily find the ways of doing so on the Internet.

What To Do With Items in EfT?

It’s a heartbreaking part of making money. Those cool things that you want to use yourself? This weapon that you have found on a dead body looking very expensive? Things for your quests or crafting? Sorry, Mr. Rat, you have to sell them. In various ways. Flea Market is not the only way. Which player will buy some low-tier handguard for a weapon or a stock that is on all basic weapons? Almost no one.

So you get your stuff into your global inventory, and it’s time to sell everything. All the cool weapons, all armors, and all misc items that you think are useless. Even a bar of soap will sell quickly on the Flea Market. These players will buy any misc items for crafting and quests.

All that you have to do with most items is to find them on the market, see the lowest price, and you set up an item with even lower price. Most of the time - it will be gone immediately. Do that to Toilet Paper, do that to soap, do that to Wires, Duct Tape, Packs of Cigarettes, literally everything. The prices of these items (especially the purple ones) will add up. Most of the time, if you know, the beginner spots - each run (that can sometimes take no more than 10 minutes) will net you a few hundred thousand. Especially when you also manage to defeat someone and take their weapons.

There’s a trick about big weapons. You should never sell whole weapons. Take everything off them, every attachment, and either sell them on the Flea Market if these are some excellent attachments or sell them to one of the Vendors (at this point you should know which pays the most for weapon parts).

And you repeat the process, over and over again. You take a backpack, and a vest with some space, you go through the maps looting the best hot spots, you come back, sell everything, and you go again. Selling one item for 6k-20k roubles doesn’t feel like much. But then, you get the chance to sell thirty of those items after a 10-minute raid, and suddenly you have somewhere between 180k-600k in your pocket after a few minutes of selling. Putting 30 items on the market is not a problem; you can sell everything in a couple of minutes. You can spend literally 2 hours on doing quick Rat Runs, and you will have somewhere between 3-8 Million Roubles depending on your luck, location, and knowledge about what to pick up, and what to leave behind.

Sorry - we will not serve you anything on a silver plate. Too many people can create too serious competition, maybe even camping in certain specific spots. And we want to avoid that. Let’s keep the game fun.

Chad Runs

Chad runs will be based around the same things when it comes to getting rid of your items. Simply sell them to a Vendor, or put them at a Flea Market. However, the ways of obtaining things that you will sell changes drastically.

You go out there, to a high-end location with a good set of armor, and some great weapons with high penetration, and you simply kill players. We recommend this for those who already have a good bank of Roubles and Dollars looking for some action. It is the proper way of playing Tarkov. You invest some things, and you go in for fair PvP battles with other players. It is exactly what Escape From Tarkov is about at this moment. Take your guns and wreak havoc.

This technique maximizes your profits when used in the right locations, but it’s hazardous. Well, you can’t be a Rat for eternity. And you shouldn’t be. The sooner you are able to sustain this Chad playstyle, the faster you will get to the meat of Escape From Tarkov. Period.

Reserve

The best locations for these kinds of runs are Reserve (mid-tier) and Laboratory (top-tier). Reserve is a perfect location if you are looking for PvP because players tend to go all-in in this location if they don’t feel confident enough to go to the Laboratory. This location has some good loot, and the playing field is quite bit and versatile. There are lots of spots where people can camp. Playing on this map feels really good most of the time; it’s a great environment for some PvP. However, if you want to go big, you will have to go to the Laboratory, and it’s not as simple as it appears to be.

Laboratory

The best location where you can get rich very fast. But there’s a catch. You need a special item in your inventory - a Keycard. White Keycard, to be exact. You can find these in the world of Escape From Tarkov. Sometimes it will even spawn on your Scav character. But generally, you should get those from the Flea Market. Currently, they cost around 75k-100k Roubles, and each card enables you to access the Laboratory once.

This location is absolutely top-tier. People who go there are competitive beyond measure, mostly very skilled, and their initial gear is simply amazing. If you are going here with a slow weapon that doesn’t use bullets with high velocity and armor penetration, you are making a grave mistake. Literally, because you are going to die. People go in here with the best Armors and best Weapons. You won’t be able to do anything in here with your SKS. But if you manage to kill them - you will find a lot of good stuff on their bodies. These top-tier weapons can be yours. Ammo that these weapons use sells for somewhere around 1k Roubles a piece. One big 60Rnd Mag can already makeup for your White Keycard. If you survive - you do the same thing as before, you sell that to Vendors or on the Flea Market.

Best Source of Roubles

Making Roubles in EFT is simple. But it takes time. Most of the time, you ought to go for Chad Runs, because those are simply based around playing EFT and having as much fun as possible with the strongest gear, in order to collect MORE top-tier gear. However, if you keep failing, each Chad Run will consume more and more of your bank. And there will come a time when you will have to replenish your Roubles, as going in with good weapons, good armor, and even better ammo is not a cheap business.

So, in theory, if you are an average player that doesn’t survive that many encounters in the Laboratory, you will essentially have to go back and forth between being a Rat and a Chad. What if you don’t have that much time actually to play the game, and you want to play as a Chad only? Well, there are two ways of doing so. One is pretty simple, and the other one is even simpler.

First of all, just win. You can get so much good stuff in Laboratory, even if you don’t kill other players. Even if you end up only killing A.I Scavs, you will get very good loot, weapons that are worth more than your Keycard, High-tier body armor, and helmets. Count in the items lying around, and you’ve got yourself close to a million already. All that you have to do is survive. And if you are good enough to kill a player, or two, or all of them, you will get even more goodies. But it’s hard. It’s best to learn this through exposure. You need to do it over and over again. High risk, with the best items, you keep losing until you are good enough to come out victorious most of the time. But still - you have to sustain it before you are THAT good. Some players already have thousands of hours of pure Escape From Tarkov experience. You will have it hard. So what is the other way?

Chad SNF Merchant

The Top Secret, Classified Information, but we’re willing to share it. You should absolutely visit Sellers and Friends Escape From Tarkov, especially if you want to get some cheap millions of Roubles for real money. Our people are working day and night on obtaining EFT money, so you don’t have to. It’s a fantastic deal. Sure, you’ll be a couple of coffee cups back, but you will save a lot of hours this way.

Let’s make some calculations if it’s worth investing in. Doing Chad Runs in succession is very hard. Especially if you are going solo. And what will happen if you fail? Let’s calculate what you have to purchase for yourself so that you can compete against other players in the Laboratory. You need to bring:

Laboratory Keycard (75k)

Good Modded Weapon with High Ergonomic, Fire Rate, and Low Recoil (160k)

Strong Body Armor, Killa Armor for example (175k)

Good Helmet, Usac (80k)

Ammo for at least 2x60 Rd. Mags (120k)

These things alone will cost you above 0,5 Mil roubles, 610k to be exact. Those are not what we would call “essentials,” as we went a step higher. Which might be necessary. Everything to ensure that you can take some hits yourself, and you can deliver lots of heavy-hitting bullets towards your enemies. Now imagine losing that during your Chad Run. You want to go for the next one, and you die again. That’s already a loss of 1 Million + Roubles. It can surely hurt your innocent insides. Especially when you realize that to make that 1 Million, you have to go through 3-6 successful Rat Runs. And depending on your lack of luck, you might need even more Runs. Doing eight full Rat Runs just to lose that in 2 Chad Runs. It doesn’t really seem that good.

Also, count the time. A Rat run can take around ten minutes. 8 Rat Runs makes 80 minutes. If you take a minimum US wage, it’s approximately $10, an hour, which gives 13 bucks for eight Rat Runs. For 13 dollars, you can buy 10 million EfT Roubles. Imagine yourself coming back from work, having to grind as a Rat even to have some fun, to begin with. It’s quite painful, we’d say.

Of course, if you lose one Chad Run and win the one afterward, you might still end up a few hundred thousand ahead. But it’s still a high risk. If you are going for high rewards, this is the price for it.

So go ahead and purchase some Millions for yourself. Fast delivery edition. It’s a matter of minutes you will have those Roubles on your account almost instantly. Please visit Sellers and Friends Escape From Tarkov currency service, set the amount, and you’ll be able to enjoy Chad Runs for a very long time. Buy Escape From Tarkov Money, buy eft roubles, and never be poor again. Who knows, if you're lucky maybe you won't be late for a sale. It's a good system that works, no need to search for a different trade. Each seller will offer a top level service, with quick payment options. USD, or EUR, or other currencies, the decision is in your hands, besides gold, it's too heavy. No bitcoin as well. And if you've got any new questions, you can bet on our support to help you (in english). Our servers are quick as well within our range of capabilities, and the offers are always there for you to use. Best trades for each buyer, each customer - all of our customers.

So join us, sign up, pack up your online cart, and start a new Escape From Tarkov path. With us, you'll never want to apply for a refund, guaranteed. You'll love every product of ours..

Summary

Stacking up on Roubles, Dollars, and Euros in Escape From Tarkov is not that complicated of a thing. Everyone can become multi-millionaires in a matter of hours. There are always some risks involved, as you have to extract the things that you want to sell. We hope that our guide managed to show you that all you really have to do is to use all the things that this game can offer you while playing and enjoying a game. Gladly - it’s not a chore. Even if you are focused purely on making money and not PvP, there are always some thrills. Be the best on your server region map page. Good luck out there, soldier!

F.A.Q

Why do I need Roubles?

Everything has a price in EFT. Weapons, armor, ammunition, bare essentials for survival as well. Moreover, when you fail a Raid, you have to heal your main P.M.C character, which can be really devastating in the beginning, as you will spend a lot of money just for fixing yourself before the next Raid. To sustain a fun playstyle, even if you fail over and over again, you will need some handy millions of Roubles.

Why do I need Roubles?

Everything has a price in EFT. You'll have to buy EFT Weapons, armor, ammunition, bare essentials for survival as well. Moreover, when you fail a Raid, you have to heal your main P.M.C (Private Military Company) character, which can be really devastating in the beginning, as you will spend a lot of money just for fixing yourself before the next Raid. To sustain a fun playstyle, even if you fail over and over again, you will need some handy millions of Roubles.

Why is Interchange better than Customs?

Interchange is a pretty special map with a lot of hidden stashes of items, as well as some useful crates. Moreover, their placement is so convenient that you can go through a Raid, and get a million in 10-20 minutes. Each insightful EFT player will tell you that on any chat.

Which money-making technique is the fastest?

Everybody knows that you can make the most amount of money with successful Laboratory Raids. As long as you’ve got a lot of space in your inventory (using THICC case, for example), you will be able to collect a lot of goodies. Advanced weapons, best armors, lots of ammunition. You can make 15+ million in a Lab Raid if you kill everyone. Of course, it depends on the items that they have brought to the Raid. But the technique has its risk, so if you’re not good enough, the fastest Rouble-making strategy might not be for you.

Where to buy Exalted Orbs - Get the best value for your order!

#eft roubles #escapefromtarkov #eft money #buy roubles

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 5 years ago

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Secret Wars 2099 #1-5 Thoughts...kinda

As I have no memories, nor apparently any records, of covering this story when it originally released I figured I’d do it as part of my re-reading project.

So the first things I should make clear is that I DID read these issues cover to cover...but in the trade. So if the recap pages of the original issues did something wonky I don’t know about that. Also I’m not covering these issue by issue. There are a few reasons for that.

For starters that’d be more time consuming and whilst I’m never going to make this deadline I’m trying to blast through Spidey 2099 volume 3 as early into the upcoming 2099 event as possible. My pie in the sky plan was to get it done before ASM #833 but that’s not happening now because shit got in my way. Secondly I’ve already read these issues as they were coming out and so I wanted to make the experience more novel for myself and see how they held up as one big story not a set of individual ones.

Due to this I’m likely not going to get into the nitty gritty of this story as I would issue to issue, pulling out ‘this one panel was weird’ and so forth. I’m going to try and discuss the story as an overview.

And from that perspective this was very enjoyable but does have you scratching your head when trying to reconcile it within continuity. On that fro there are three ways to view it.

a) Within classic 2099 continuity

b) Within the then current 2099 continuity off the heels of Spidey 2099 volume 2

c) And within the continuity that’s yet to come. Maybe I even mentioned that in the posts I did for Spidey 2099 volume 3, I don’t remember and don’t want to spoil myself by checking. I DO remember Roberta/Captain America returns which makes continuity confusing

In fact continuity from all 3 POVs is confusing. I think the best thing to do is to treat this as kind of like the RYV Secret Wars continuity. That is to say it’s not about the ACTUAL versions of the characters you’ve come to know and when we next see the new characters introduced here those will be alternate versions of these guys.

In a sense this is a kind of conceptual part of PAD’s over all story. It exists so you know that there are/could be versions of these characters and concepts ‘out there’ and they could show back up in his main story. Similarly the All-New X-Factor issue that hinted at this series did so more conceptually. The idea being a big corporation who own their own superhero team. This series doesn’t directly pick up those plot threads but it’s conceptually similar, maybe even the intention is that Miguel got the idea for his Avengers from that story.

I don’t know though because this Miguel is drastically different to the one we’ve been following from Superior onwards. Now I’m not familiar with the 90s 2099 stuff much but IIRC Miguel does become the head of Alchemax and his father Tyler Stone is wheelchair bound so is this supposed to be diverging off that? I dunno.

Enough about continuity though, taking this story in isolation as I said it’s enjoyable. There isn’t much wrong with it beyond one notable thing and a few nitpicks.

Nitpicks would be stuff like how the ending feels kind of weird. It bookends the start of the story but I just feel outright showing us something that we already knew (that Black Widow 2099 acts like a literal black widow and kills her lovers) just wasn’t a fitting end for this story. It’s not that it is gross so much as it just feels odd and out of place. Like there was a more fitting coda for this story than following the minor exploits of a minor character amidst this story.

The more notable problem is a plot one. This isn’t a deal breaker but I just don’t really understand the relevance of Mordo 2099’s business card being in the Specialist’s pocket. It’s the instigator for most of the plot and yet the Specialist didn’t seem to have anything to do with Mordo. Was it just a coincidence? Was it planted there to throw the Avengers off Tyler Stone’s trail? It’s never explained. I suppose it could be a coincidence but then that’s rather lazy writing beneath PAD’s usual talents.

Beyond that the story is fun but fairly simple.

Essentially this boils down to the Avengers and Defenders meet, fight, interact a bit more, fight some more (with some Avengers siding with the Defenders) and then they team up to beat a bigger threat.

Not much else goes on, but that’s not a bad thing.

This story didn’t need to be Kraven’s Last Hunt or Watchmen.

It was just a fun superhero action story, which frankly is usually all that Avengers or Defenders stories ever amount to. Substance is a rarity for ether team, you want that check out the F4 or X-men.

What this series excels at is filling in some blanks from the original 2099 universe line, revisiting some old characters from it, introducing some new versions of old faces (like Silver Surfer and Hercules) and just giving you enough for each character for there to be some fun interactions. Maybe that’s all a bit basic but fun is fun.

We never had an Avengers nor Defenders 2099 back when the line exists, at least not as far as I know. And the idea that classic characters like Hercules, Valkyrie and the Surfer would still be around makes a lot of sense. The 2099 reimaginings of older characters are also quite fun. Black Widow literally being a woman who eats her lovers was obvious and yet novel. Hawkeye being a hawk/human hybrid was something different from the 616 version. Hercules being a standing for Thor was a brilliant balance of something new yet familiar. Iron Man and Vision 2099 were novel twists on the classic characters. The characters bounced off each other nicely (especially Hercules and Sub-Mariner) and there were some fun match ups.

The stand out (possibly because PAD had plans for her) though is Roberta Mendez, a.k.a. Captain America 2099. If anyone was the main character in this it was her. She was the most out and out heroic and a worthy heir to Steve’s legacy.

In recent years there has been much, shall we say, ‘heated debate’ regarding female characters, poc characters, female body depictions in comics and legacy characters.

Roberta has oddly been left unmentioned in this discussion which is strange as she ticks all the above boxes and yet is also one of the best examples of how to do such characters.

She is not stereotypically sexy, and the story points out the ‘wrongness’ of that. But it places it in the mouth of a minor character who is bad, and beyond that doesn’t dwell on the topic. I think this is smart because it acknowledges potential backlash but also doesn’t become self-indulgent in calling it out. I think that’s part of the umbridge a lot of people feel. The lack of subtlety and the frankly obnoxious degree to which a lot of modern comics attempt to call out bad actors or problematic views. PAD demonstrates the right way to handle this rather than Jason Aaron’s tactics in his Jane Foster Thor run for instance.

More importantly Roberta isn’t built up as heroic or better than her peers or anyone else through unearned tactics. This isn’t Riri Williams or Rey from Star Wars who’s acclaim in story is rather handed to them. She is a corporate stooge and a tool (one who’s literally activated and deactivated), but one with a conscience. And that conscience lets her fight back and make the right choices, but she isn’t a true blue enemy of ‘the system’. She’s morally and ethically compromised as Captain America and entirely clueless and vulnerable as Roberta. But she still saves people, she still helps people, she still has a moral code and she still believes in Steve Rogers’ values. She is a capable combatant and yet far from invincible.

In short...she’s a flawed super hero. It’s a feat of balanced writing that is worth of applause on PAD’s part as I count myself a fan of Roberta a lot actually.

The second most interesting character in this is Miguel.

Miguel’s portrayal here is interesting in general because it’s a departure from what you would expect having read volume 2 or possibly 2099 in general. He is absolutely the head of a big bad corporation. And he uses people. He is willing to enforce his corporate authority unethically. He is NOT a good person. In volume 2 you could describe him as anti-hero lite. He was more violent and clearly more willing to take life than Peter Parker but he wasn’t the Punisher or Wolverine. He was on the side of the angels but wasn’t one of them basically. Here though he’s definitely not on the side of the angels...but he’s also not on the side of the demons either. Rather he occupies this interesting spot in the middle as his Alchemax Avengers are doing good things and he does let the Defenders go at the end of everything. And yet he does safeguard Alchemax’s safety and legacy and manipulates Roberta.

This is another feat of writing as Miguel can’t be easily put into a box marked good nor bad or even anti-hero.

As for the art, I feel it’s a step down from what Sliney was doing in Spidey 2099 volume 2 but it’s still good, it gets the job done and the reinventions of older heroes works.

All in all if you have the time and cash, and aren’t expecting anything mind blowing I’d recommend checking this out.

#Marvel 2099 #Secret Wars 2099 #Secret Wars 2015 #Spider-Man 2099 #Peter David #Miguel O'Hara #roberta mendez #Captain America 2099 #Avengers 2099 #Defenders 2099

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coinbuyerpro-blog · 5 years ago

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virtual currency

Despite looking like traditional cash machines, virtual currency, Bitcoin ATMs are not ATMs in the traditional sense. Instead of connecting to the user’s bank account, they are connected to the Internet in order to be able to facilitate Bitcoin transactions.

Bitcoin ATMs can accept money in cash and exchange it to Bitcoins given as a paper receipt with a QR-code on it or by moving the funds to a wallet on a Blockchain network. They usually charge very high transaction fees - there are media reports citing fees as high as seven percent.

Moreover, they can be quite difficult to locate. Most known Bitcoin ATMs are marked on this Bitcoin ATM map.Only a few specific Bitcoin ATMs offer bi-directional functionality meaning that users can both buy and sell Bitcoins using them. Among such machines are Robocoin, Genesis1 and Satoshi2 from Genesis Coin, BitAccess and BATMThree model from General Bytes. However, some operators might disable sell operations.

Sometimes, Bitcoin ATM providers require users to have an existing account to conduct selling operations and the registration process often involves a lot of time, energy and effort. For example, new users of Robocoin ATM need to a telephone number for activation and notifications, government issued ID, palm scan and a current photo taken by the ATM’s webcam. The identification process varies depending on the machine and even on different operators running similar ATMs, but some sort of identity verification will always be required if you want to sell.

After your identity is verified, you are given a QR code with a wallet address to which you need to send your Bitcoins. Depending on the machine you’re using, you will either get cash out of the machine immediately or you will receive a redeem code and need to wait for the transaction confirmation. Usually, one confirmation is enough, but sometimes up to six confirmations are required before the user can withdraw cash.

So, despite the ever-growing number of Bitcoin ATMs worldwide, they are still primarily used to buy Bitcoins. Moreover, BTC ATM operators need to adjust the setting on their machines in accordance with anti-money laundering and know your customer standards applicable in the jurisdiction where their ATMs are placed. In some countries, this requires a money transmitter license, while current regulations in other countries prevent any Bitcoin ATMs from being installed.

Direct trades

Another way of selling ethereum is via a direct trade with another person. This service is accessible on websites usually associated with exchanges and includes an intermediary facilitating the connection.

First, you will need to register as a seller. Apart from setting up your profile, you will need to fully verify your identity. Once you’re registered, you can post an offer indicating your intention to sell some Bitcoins. When a buyer wants to trade with you, you get a notification from the service and from thenon you are only interacting with the buyer. The website merely serves as a platform to complete the trade.

The process of selling xrp on some of those sites can be quite involved and time-consuming. So, it is imperative to do your research before deciding on a trading platform and make sure you have the time and patience required.

Cashing out your Bitcoins is not as straightforward as buying them. If you decide to sell your Bitcoins online, you can either do it via an exchange, direct trade or carry out a peer-to-peer transaction. Outside of the comfort of your own home, you can withdraw flat money using a Bitcoin ATM or sell your Bitcoins in person.

Despite having several disadvantages, exchanges are a one-stop solution when it comes to trading Bitcoins. In the case of selling the cryptocurrency, exchanges act as an intermediary that holds both seller’s and buyer’s funds.

First, you need to set up an account with an exchange of your choice. The absolute majority of reputable exchanges will require a complete identity verification and a connected bank account so that you can withdraw your funds.

Then, you just simply place a ‘sell offer,’ stating the type of currency you wish to trade, its amount and your asking price per unit. The exchange will automatically complete the transaction once someone matches your offer.

After the funds are credited to your account, you will need to withdraw them to your connected bank account. This can sometimes take an excessive amount of time, especially if the exchange is experiencing issues with its banks or facing liquidity problems. Several months before its bankruptcy, the Mt. Gox exchange was experiencing this exact problem. Moreover, some banks just outright refuse to process transactions with funds obtained via cryptocurrency trading.

It is also important to consider a fee you’ll need to pay in order to use some exchanges. For example, one of the world’s biggest cryptocurrency exchanges CEX.io charges a flat fee of $50 for withdrawal via Bank transfer, $3.80 if you’re withdrawing your funds to a Visa card and 1.2 percent of a transaction + $3.80 if you’re using MasterCard. The withdrawal fees can vary drastically depending on an exchange, but transaction fees are almost always either tiny or non-existent at all.

In addition, most exchanges will have a limit on the amount of money you’re allowed to store. The limit will increase over time if you stay loyal to a particular exchange.

Finally, it is important to remember that despite offering wallet services, exchanges are by no means a secure and reliable place to store your funds. They are very prone to hacker attacks, and there have also been instances of exchanges shutting down and running away with their users’ funds. Hence why you should take full responsibility for your own funds and store any amount that is not immediately needed in a secure offline wallet.

Online P2P trading

Peer-to-peer trading marketplaces are a relatively new development in the Bitcoin world. There is no direct exchange of funds taking place. Instead, those websites essentially work as a platform that brings people with different, yet complementary needs together.

The service is designed for the mutual benefit of people who would like to buy Bitcoins with their credit card and those who want to spend their Bitcoins to buy goods from places that don’t accept digital currencies as a form of payment. As a result, the former get their flat currency exchanged to BTC, while the latter can buy discounted goods.

The websites facilitating the service provide users with an escrow service for the transaction, as well as a wallet to store Bitcoins.

Here’s how it works:

Bob posts his required wish list including the discount amount he wishes to receive, which normally goes up to 25 percent. Jack then accepts the trade and pays for Bob’s goods through the marketplace, stating Bob’s delivery address. Once the goods are delivered, the marketplace releases Jack’s money from escrow and transfers the funds into Jack’s wallet.

While this system allows Jack to acquire Bitcoins relatively easily using just his bank card, it also charges him quite a high fee for the service.

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downwithwritersblock · 6 years ago

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Welcome to part five of our Monthly Guide to Monsters! My dear sweet @quills-and-golden-ink and I have put together some quick and easy guides to some of the world’s most infamous creatures!

The guide will include: basic background, historical information, abilities, how to defeat them, and portrayals in media. My sets will also always come with Prompts!

For the Month of October, we will be posting two a week! I’m so sorry that I am so late for this one. Life has been a bit hectic. But no matter the date it is posted on, we promise it will be 2 a week for the rest of October, and two a month for the rest of the year.

*Warning for graphic or gruesome depictions and retelling of violence*

Without further ado, we present to you all, the Monthly Guide To Monsters #5:

Witches

Definition: One who practices the art of witchcraft. Can be good, evil or neutral.

Definition of Witchcraft: There are many meanings or definitions given to witchcraft throughout the world and through many different cultures. In some beliefs, it’s a practice usually used for healing, in others, it’s a magical ability to do mystical things far beyond normal human capacity. In cultural anthropology, Witchcraft is usually defined as the innate ability to cause harm.

Description: Just like the definition, the description of witches changes across cultures. Many legends depict them as being physically indistinguishable from humans. They are often depicted as females in folklore, but more modern media has broken that line. In some (older)media, Witches were depicted as being rather grotesque humanoids, with large noses, warts and straw like hair. (*Disclaimer Edit*: I didnt add this before, because I found it unnecessary, but apparently it is needed. This old depiction of witches comes form anti-semetic propaganda. This description is extremely racist, but is no longer seen in modern media, so I did not think I had to advice people against doing it.)

Abilities: Depending on where you are looking, the abilities of a witch can change drastically. In some cultures, Witchcraft is purely a practice that requires hard work, education, potions or special ingredients, mystical objects and sacred words/spells/incantations. In other cultures, Witches have innate magical abilities where they need only to think of something in order for it to be done. Other cultures, and most forms of media, like to mix these two ideas. So usually Witches have or use the following:

Spells are a kind of incantation with strong magical power(Older spells are often in a foreign or ancient language rather then English, so it’s not uncommon to see a witch portrayed as speaking multiple languages)

Potions made from magical or mystical ingredients and can be used for a large number of things.

Witches are often shown possessing a large amount of knowledge about other magical creatures.

Levitation and flying

Witches are sometimes said to be able to disguise themselves through transformation magic, though the extent of the transformation depends on the lore. Some are just to look ‘more human’, others can fully transform into animals.

Opening of portals to teleport

Some witches are said to control or communicate with certain aspects of nature, like animals, elements or the weather.

Necromancy is usually more of a specialized practice, but it is said that some witches can raise the dead.

Demonology is a darker idea behind witches, it’s the idea that witches can and often summon demons from hell or trade their souls with demons in exchange for magic.

Healing. This is a magical art usually given to ‘white witches’, in which a witch is able to use their own or the life force of the wounded to heal some injuries or illnesses.

They are usually immune to human illnesses, diseases, and deaths. They have a stronger immune system and usually a prolonged life.

Witches usually have a familiar, a magical helper usually in the form of an animal.Familiars help witches with spells, potions, collecting ingredients, and even help protect their witch. Familiars are usually voluntary, but sometimes they are humans that have been cursed to live as an animal and serve the witch. Familiars are usually seen as cats, owls/birds, spiders, and rats.

Testing, curing and killing witches: As many know, Witches have a very long and dark history when it comes to their treatment. So many people who were more than likely to be innocent were tortured and killed in extremely gruesome ways.

Testing:

The ‘swim’ test. The victim was often tied with a heavy rope and weight tied around their waist and then tossed into a river or lake. It’s said that an innocent person would sink, but a with would float and bob a long around the surface. Almost every person subjected to this trial drowned to death.

The Prayer test. It’s said that witches were incapable of reciting the holy scripture. A witch on trial might have been expected to recite a line or two, but were expected to do it perfectly without any hesitation or mess ups. If someone failed at this test, it’s most likely because they were either illiterate, or too nervous to talk. It's said that some people even managed to do it without problem, only to have their success be waved off a ‘a trick of the devil’ and for them to be executed anyway.

All witches were said to have a unique mark somewhere on their body that could be in any shape, form or color. Examiners rarely didn't find a ‘witches mark’ because birthmarks, moles, scars, tattoos and sores could all be seen as being the mark of a witch.

The scratch and poke test. So, witches marks were said to be incapable of pain and bleeding. If an examiner could not find a witches mark, they would produce this test, using specialized or dull needles to poke around the accused bodies until they found a spot that produced the painless, bloodless results they desired.

Pressed. The accused would be lied down, and a wooden board would be put over them, then heavy stones would be placed over it repeatedly until either they confessed to being a witch or they were crushed to death. Either way, they died.

The perfect Weight test. This one wasn't as common as some, but it still existed. Some accused would be weighed against a stack of bibles. If they weighed more than the bible's, they were a witch. If they weighed less than the bible's, they were killed. They had to weigh the exact same amount of the bibles. It was an impossible test to pass.

There was also many tests involving the accused victims, which were always faked as their victims would lie just to have the accused prosecuted.Witch trials were designed to always work in the favor of the ‘victims’, and the ‘Witch’ was almost always killed.

Killing of Witches: Because yeah, those were just the ways that accused were tested for being a witch. If that test didn't kill them, there were many other ways to do it. The most popular ways to kill a witch were:

Hanging

Burned at the staked

Real Life Witches:

Now witchcraft isn't just an old folktale. It’s considered a very real thing in many different cultures. Witchcraft was a real thing that many people actually did study and practice, many people still do. A more modern, well known descendant of witchcraft is the practice or pagan religion of Wicca

Wicca: A more modern pagan religion that while it draws on witchcraft, and has a good deal in common with it, is entirely separate. Many who practice Wicca do not consider themselves a witch, and vice versa.

Wicca is a belief system, and a way of life that focus on peace, harmony and balance with oneself, humanity, and nature.

Wicca is nothing like the old tales of witchcraft. The most stark difference being that old witchcraft was said to be to harm others, while Wicca not only avoids harming others, but strictly forbids the harming of innocent beings.

Wicca is often rather specialized, and changes little features here and there depending on the individual coven or practitioner.

Studying and becoming a Wiccan is not quite as simple as many believe

To find more about the faith(and other sects of witchcraft) I highly suggest browsing around the web, in books, and through any willing Wiccan/witch consultant. Go with multiple sources, not just one or two in order to get the best and most in depth understand of the practice. To be clear, I myself spent many years studying witchcraft and I myself am wiccan.

Witches in Media: Now over the years there have been a lot, and I mean a lot of media that focuses on witches. I’ve tried to arrange for you all a good range of some of the most popular witches in media.

The Craft(Movie, 1996)

Hocus Pocus(Movie, 1993)

The Harry Potter Series(Books and Movies)

The Blair Witch Project(Movie, 1999)

Practical Magic(Movie,1998)

Halloweentown(1998)

The Crucible(Play by Arthur Miller, Movie; 1996)

Kiki’s Delivery Service(1989)

Bewitched(Movie;2005, TV show 1964-1972)

The Witches of Eastwick(1987)

The Wizard of Oz(Movie:1939)

Wicked(Book1995, Musical 2003)

Charmed(TV show 1998-2006)

Charmed(TV show 2018 reboot airing)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer(TV show, 1990s. Now I included this because although it’s not primarily about Witches, one of the main Charcters: Willow, is one of the most famous witches in modern media)

American Horror Story: Coven (TV show)

The Secret Circle(2011)

Sabrina The Teenage Witch(TV show 1996-2003, and there are rumors of a new,darker retake of sabrina coming soon to netflix)

Prompts:

“What are you gonna do, huh? Curse me again? I’ve spent the last three centuries with you, there’s nothing left for you to threaten me with”

“Okay so, I think you gave me the wrong shopping list,?I don’t think the local grocery store carries dragons scales or fairy tears? They might have the pigs tongue though...”

“You love that cat more then you love me” “This cat has been with me, helping and protecting me for the last four hundred and twenty seven years. Of course I love him more then you.”

“We arent all bad you know. Look at me. You know me. I would never, ever hurt you. My magic isnt evil. It doesn't come from anywhere bad or dark. My magic is a gift. It comes from the earth. My magic can help you. Please just trust me about this.”

“You turn one person into a toad one time by accident over six hundred years ago and nobody ever lets you live it down!”

“I’ve been crushed, hung, stabbed, drowned in freezing rivers, crucified and burned alive. So go ahead, try me. Read all the weak, half-assed incantations you want. Call every priest in the state Torture me all you want. You don’t scare me in the slightest. There’s nothing you can do to break me, I have endured worse for centuries.”

Hope you enjoy, and find it useful :)

and if you like my work and would like to support me, consider buying me a coffee?

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rubyredsparks · 5 years ago

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Blossoming Souls Ch. 6

Relationship(s): Romantic Logince, Moxiety; Platonic every other relationship

“Tags” for the whole story: morally grey!deceit, Deceit, Remus, Thomas as a character, Romance, Minor violence, someone’s potty mouth, Foul language, Minor homophobia (it’s not that bad), Miscommunication (this one is though), Friendship

Chapter Summary: The truth comes out and is a harsh slam to the face.

Virgil watched as a carriage pulled up to the palace, hidden behind the curtains. He had felt anxious about the whole marriage arrangement ever since King Thomas had told him he had signed the papers.

Thomas didn’t know the kingdom of Aowhea as well as he did. They could read and research as much as they wanted, but Virgil would always know more.

Considering he grew up there.

Virgil remembered Emile, his sibling, and their protective nature was no match for the wickedness of Aowhea.

Though, that wasn’t very fair to the kingdom; the setting was lovely, fresh and blooming. It was the people that he hated.

Selfish and greedy. The citizens always thought for themselves, looking forward for a little more gold. Shrouded in their own darkness, clothes dark and eyes even darker, the people of Aowhea were only looking after themselves.

A kingdom full of backstabbers and thieves, Virgil hated that he had lived a life there.

A knock. Virgil turned away from the window. “Come in.”

“Babe, what’s up!” Remy crashed through Virgil’s door, canteen in hand and sunglasses adorned. He smelled faintly of alcohol and bad mead, but Virgil welcomed the familiar, dour smell.

“S’up,” Virgil nodded. He went back to the window, eyes casting worriedly around the castle square.

“Gurl, are you spying on the citizens?” Remy sounded scadelized as he strolled closer to Virgil until he was next to him.

“Of course not,” Virgil scoffed, he glanced back one last time before fixing his gaze back on Remy. “Report.”

Remy rolled his eyes, fixed his hair, saying, “We took a ride into the Fiawl Forest. It wasn’t much. His Royal Pratness also started singing, lamenting really, about how his life sucked.”

“So just typical Roman,” Virgil sighed in relief.

“Well….” Remy looked embarrassed, ducking his head.

“‘Well?” Virgil raised his brow, eyes wide. “That doesn’t sound like a good start. What happened? Who died? And if you killed anyone, was it discreet?”

“What, no!” Remy denied, confused at Virgil’s stress. “We met the Prince of Aowhea on our way home. He was in the midst of getting robbed by bandits.”

“What?!”

Remy winced, sunglasses slipping back over his eyes. “He’s fine. Me and the princess drove them away. Stayed at an inn. S’why we came back a day later sorta with the visiting prince.”

“Please tell me that Roman didn’t do anything stupid when he met the prince,” Virgil asked pleadingly, hands clasped in front of his face.

“No can do, gurl. Introduced himself as his dad, lied about his life, and I think fell in love with him all in the matter of a few hours.”

“I don’t know whether that’s worse or better.” Virgil ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve half a mind to yell at you for this.”

“Whoa,” Remy put his hands up in defense. “I didn’t tell his Royal Annoyance to lie. If anything it’s all his fault!”

“That’s why I have half a mind to yell at you.” Virgil shook his head. “Listen, the carriage from Aowhea just came not five minutes ago. The Prince is expecting Roman or Thomas to be welcoming him into our kingdom. But now I’m pretty sure Roman’s not gonna be there, am I right?”

Remy winced, grimacing, “You’re probably right about that, Vee. Roman majorly clucked up introducing himself as Thomas. He’s probably going to run before he can welcome the Prince.”

Virgil sighed. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

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Thomas glanced around anxiously. Roman was nowhere in sight, despite the fact that he had sworn to Thomas that he would be here to greet the visiting prince.

He sighed, the stifling robes and regalia on him felt nearly suffocating. Standing in the foyer of his palace waiting for his possible son-in-law felt like a fantastical dream.

There was an old dream of letting Roman have his chance at finding true love, but the kingdom had to come first.

The reality of his kingdom’s situation was that his borders were crumbling, his soldiers exhausted from the expense of protection and his people’s loyalties wavering.

Thomas knew that he had to do something drastic to save his kingdom and the home that he grew to love. Fortunately, the trade and military alliance with Aowhea had needed updating. Unfortunately, the king of Aowhea decided to give his son as a bride price to Thomas.

It had been... an unusual first meeting to say the least.

~25 years ago~

The loud bustle of men cheering and drinks clinking was grating on Thomas’s ears.

Thomas grit his teeth, pulling his hood down further to hide his facet and stifle the noise as best as possible.

He didn't want to be here. Not in this pub with its cramped spaces and squalid manner. But he had to.

This was where the crowned prince of Aowhea was always rumoured to be at night. A tiny pub saturated with mead and men.

Thomas needed to get a glimpse of him, to know what sort of man Prince Ernst was so that their alliance with their kingdoms could still remain.

Perhaps it was underhanded of him to go undercover without anyone knowing, but he was already in the kingdom. Why not take advantage of this opportunity?

Someone slammed their mug on the table, and Thomas was acutely reminded of how much he hated pubs.

The patrons were loud and unruly, a literal brawl happening in one corner of the room.

Thomas’s skin was crawling, unseen dirt sinking into his skin and seeping into him, making him want to claw at himself.

A booming laugh to his right made him jump, knocking into lukewarm mead and soaking into his boots.

He raised his head, an apology ready on the tip of his tongue when he was met with two different coloured eyes seeming to stare into his soul.

Thomas didn't know how to form words. His ability to speak lost as he stared at the most gorgeous man he had ever seen. Wow, Thomas was very, very gay.

He was tall, that was the second thing Thomas noticed. Tall, dark hair, dark skin, strong build with mouthwatering muscles and a jaw that could cut glass.

The blue overcoat had gold outlines on it, hemmed to shimmer every time he moved, reflecting off the dim lights of the pub.

“My apologies,” the man said, words syrupy sweet and lilting. His accent got more pronounced, “I didn't mean to bump into you, darling.”

“That's not okay! It's your fault!” Thomas blurted out.

The most gorgeous man Thomas had ever met only delicately raised an eyebrow. God, Thomas could feel his cheeks burning a bright red at his admission.

“I- I mean you're a problem! It's not fine! Shit!”

A grin curled the edges of the most gorgeous man Thomas had ever met’s lips.

“What a dirty mouth for a rather rude man.” The grin turned into a wicked smirk. “However shall you pay me back for these insults?”

“I'm sorry!” Thomas squeaked, cheeks darkening even further. The pub felt distant, his ears ringing and the man in front of him was starting to get blurry.

There was a flash of something in the yellow and brown eyes that Thomas didn't even try to decipher.

A hand rested heavily on his shoulder, and Thomas barely reacted.

He allowed the gorgeous man to steer him out of the pub, distantly hearing him say some words he couldn't make out.

There was a tidal wave of noise, stretching his mind, and Thomas screwed his eyes shut tight, trying to block it.

His head felt heavy and his mind detached. Ringing in his ears that echoed way too loudly for his taste.

Something squeezed him. He didn't know what.

There was another squeeze, this time somewhere else.

How could people hear with everything this loud?

A rhythmic squeezing started up, and Thomas slowly became aware that his hand was the thing being squeezed.

Hesitantly, he squeezed back. A stronger reaction was returned, and awareness slowly came back to him.

Thomas was met with two different worried coloured eyes.

“Are you alright?” the man asked, Thomas distantly realized that he hadn't let go of his hand. Maybe he didn't want to.

“Fine! Just fine!” Thomas said, high pitched.

A low chuckle and Thomas wanted to melt, “That's good. You had me worried there.”

“It's fine!” Because Thomas apparently didn't know how to say anything else in the presence of this man without making a fool out of himself.

A smirk this time, and Thomas had to actively suppress a shiver. “I'm Damocles, and you are?”

“Single!” the words flew out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Luckily, the man- Damocles- didn't say anything except raise his brow, amused.

“I mean- Cyril,” Thomas said, remembering the last minute that it probably wasn't a good idea to give his real name out, no matter how common.

Damocles lifted Thomas’s hand up, brushing the barest kiss against his knuckles and purring, “A pleasure.”

Thomas thought his face couldn't get anymore red.

Thomas had thankfully recovered since that first encounter with the now King Ernst of Aowhea.

An unlikely friendship had blossomed between the two Crown Princes, one that Thomas didn’t even realize he needed.

Ernst had always seemed so organized, well-adjusted, a feat Thomas could barely manage.

When he had last visited Ernst half a decade ago….

Thomas broke out of his musings by the heavy castle doors groaning open. He looked up, feeling every ounce of nerves well up inside him.

Regardless of the fact that the second prince of Aowhea was a child and twenty years his junior, Thomas had heard the rumours of Prince Logan’s cold and calculating ways. He knew that if Aowhea didn’t like Eiehde, his kingdom would be doomed.

Thomas stood, footsteps feeling heavy as he walked down from his throne to greet the prince. A fixed smile on his face and one more deep breath.

“Announcing His Royal Highness Prince Logan Wysteria of Aowhea!”

The King of Eiehde kept his head up high, letting a cool mask slip over his face. The doors opening were heavy, groaning as it opened.

Thomas’s first thought of the Prince was young, very young. The boy, for he could hardly be called a man, strode forward, head held high, pride oozing from his stance.

He was slight, the clack of his heeled boots in the foyer made it known that he was shorter than seen. His dark skin complemented the blue garments he was wearing, a trailing black coat behind him and another man trailing behind him.

The Prince reached Thomas, bowing, “Your Majesty.”

Thomas was frozen. He had married his son off to a boy, a child. Someone who shouldn’t be shouldering the responsibilities of a kingdom.

A small cough, and Thomas plastered on another smile. “Rise, my boy, for we shall be family from henceforth. No need for such formalities between family.”

The Prince- Logan, Thomas reminded himself, for he wasn’t joking, they will be family by the month’s end- straightened, a fixed smile on his face as if he didn’t know quite how to smile and instead lifted the edges of his lips.

“Of course, your Majesty, if I may, where is his Highness Prince Roman?” Logan inquired cooly. The slight poison of his words were barely detectable, yet Thomas still winced.

It was just like Roman to break a promise on such an important visit. Well, it couldn’t be helped.

“His Royal Highness was on an embassy to Hevewnoi.” Virgil smoothly intercepted, taking control over the situation as Thomas stood there, frozen. “His return should’ve been yesterday, but there are situations we can’t control.”

“I see.” It was clear that the Prince did not see. Thomas hoped the boy could not see how unnerved he was right now. “Well, I shall overlook it. These situations cannot be helped.”

Thomas let out what he hoped was an inaudible sigh of relief. “I’m sure you’re tired, your Highness. We shall let you retire to your quarters before dining for supper.”

Logan inclined his head in understanding. Thomas waved a hand to one of the guards, “Kai shall show you and your guard to your quarters.”

Kai bowed his head in agreement, stepping toward the hallway where the living quarters were and the other two quickly followed after him.

Thomas’ shoulders sank, that had not been what he was expecting.

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Roman was hiding.

He was hiding, had been for the past two weeks or so, and he wasn’t feeling an ounce of shame.

Okay, maybe a bit of shame. He was a knight after all. Captain of the Royal Guard and everything.

He had faced things from a Dragon Witch, Manticore-Chimera, to even a Hydra-Griffin. He was brave, dammit. Brave, courageous, and not to mention handsome.

So why was Roman hiding in the servants’ quarters like a coward? Because the very idea of facing the Prince from Aowhea was so damn terrifying to him. It wasn’t even like there was anything physically intimidating about him. It was outrageous for Roman to even be scared of the other.

When he first saw the Prince, he couldn’t help but think that that was whom he was marrying?

He certainly didn’t think that Prince Logan was suitable to be Prince Consort of Eiedhe. There didn’t seem to be anything special to him. He was more contrary than anything, failing to respond to Roman’s charms.

Well, Roman could also concede to the fact that Roman hadn’t exactly done much to charm Prince Logan either. So he supposed that Logan had a valid reason not to like him.

Gods above, that was so stupid of him to introduce himself as his own Father. Why, oh why, did he happen to meet the Prince on his journey home? Now he couldn’t ever face the other Prince again.

“My Prince,” a gentle voice knocked him out of his thoughts. Roman opened his eyes to see the concerned face of Leo staring at him.

“Yes?” Roman winced at his scratchy voice, clearing it. “What is it, Leo?”

“It’s time for dinner, your Highness.”

“I’m not hungry,” Roman said, rolling over and pulling a blanket over his head. Roman felt slightly guilty hiding in Leo’s bed and subsequently taking over his room, but right now he just wanted to disappear and not have to see anyone again.

“Okay,” Leo said slowly, and Roman felt the disapproval emanating from the gentle man. “If I may, your Highness, why are you hiding in my room?”

“No reason,” Roman mumbled into the bedsheets.

“Of course, and it doesn’t have anything to do with the visiting Prince and your husband to be, yes?”

“What!” Roman shot up, blankets flying and face red. “This has nothing to do with Logan.”

“Mmm, Logan now is it…?” Leo said, and Roman shot him a dark look that made him grin, “Of course it doesn’t. So, again, why are you hiding in my room when you have a perfectly fine room yourself?”

Roman flushed a deeper red, “I just don’t want….”

“You’re scared,” Leo grinned in realization. “Crown Prince Roman of Eiehde, defeater of the Dragon Witch and Conqueror of the Nine Isles is scared.”

“I am not!” Roman screeched, shooting up to his feet and stalking toward Leo. “Lies and slander! I am not scared of a simple Prince.”

“Good,” Leo said simply. “Then you can meet the Prince for dinner and be not scared out of my rooms. Now, shoo.”

Leo had, without Roman realizing, opened the door and pushed Roman out into the deserted hallway.

Roman blinked before he cursed Leo for exiling him from his hiding place. He walked forward, not really knowing where he was going.

He stuck his hands in his pockets, head up and staring at the brick ceiling. The hustle and bustle of the servants was soothing, a buzzing background noise as he walked.

He nodded distractedly at the scattered greetings as he strode forward in the hallways. Roman wasn’t scared of the Prince, but he was scared. Well not of him, but more of falling in love with him.

He hadn’t wanted his first love to be the result of an arranged marriage. He wanted something something romantic, something straight out of a fairy tale if possible.

Bumping into the person of his dreams as he was in the palace plaza, helping the person pick their things up, meeting them in the forest as they were singing their heart out. Something romantic and sweet.

Well, he supposed that he couldn’t always get what he wished for, no matter how much he whinged.

There wasn’t anything inherently wrong with the other Prince. Roman still admitted that the man was handsome, of course not as much as him, but still very handsome.

“Oof!” a voice exclaimed, and Roman stepped back, eyes widening as it landed on familiar curly, black hair. He wasn’t supposed to be here! Roman was hiding from him for goodness’ sake.

“Pardon me, I was-” Prince Logan cut himself off as he seemed to realize that it was Roman he was talking to.

“Thomas,” Logan said, voice set in a tone that Roman wasn’t sure he liked. “Thank the Lady I found someone I recognize. Would you mind showing me to the palace library? I asked for directions, but I can’t seem to make heads or tails of the turns.”

“Of course,” Roman found himself automatically saying. “If you would follow me.”

He held out his elbow, allowing for the Prince to slide his arm securely in the crook of his elbow, and Roman walked forward with the Prince following next to him.

“Have you had dinner yet, your Highness?” Roman said for lack of anything else to say.

Logan inclined his head, “Yes, though I am a little disappointed that Prince Roman wasn’t there to greet or dine with us again. His Majesty, the King, had many things to say about that again.”

Roman winced, imagining the onslaught of reprimands his Father would give him after missing yet another dinner with his Intended.

“Though I can’t help but be relieved,” Logan continued as they reached the library. “I’ve heard and read many things about the Prince, and I don’t know what to do if I ever met him formally.”

There was a peculiar tone in how the Prince phrased that, but Roman wasn’t as interested in that.

“What have you heard?” Roman asked. His heart stuck in his throat, a pain that took hold of his body and made him want to run and hide from those sharp, blue eyes.

Logan had put his hand on the doorknob before he looked him over, eyes roaming and scanning him up and down. Roman could hear the blood rushing in his ears as he waited for Logan’s next words, as if he was on trial and Logan was the executioner.

“That Prince Roman was charming.”

That didn’t sound nearly as bad as he thought it would be.

“And vapid, arrogant, pig-headed and a liar.”

Wait, what?

Roman stopped in his tracks, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “Wh-what do you mean, your Highness?”

“Oh, what kind of fool do you take me for, Thomas? Word travels quickly after two weeks, especially in a castle surrounded by your work. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t find out?”

Roman couldn’t move. His thoughts were a mess, a storm in his mind.

Prince Logan opened the door to the library. “I can see that you didn’t. Thank you for leading me toward the library. Good day, Prince Roman.”

He slammed the door shut as Roman was left blinking outside the library doors.

“What- what just happened?”

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#blossoming souls #my writing #logince #moxiety #chapter 6

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