#It's hard to believe so many people read that scene and still decided to hate Octavian

[buzzcutlip]

Hiiii... For your dialogue prompts could you do 'can't sleep?' or 'don't look at me like that' please?

You choose the character, whoever you think fits best.

Much love <3

Hi Amy, thank you for sending the prompt, here's one for you :) It exist in the Obsession universe (because I'm obsessed with it).

Prompt: "Don't look at me like that" Richie Jerimovich x Fem!Reader 1000+ words (happens in this universe, and after this - but I don't think you need to read it, however, it can be a bit vague)

Through the gaps between the guests' bodies, their shoulders and arms, you spot Richie. He’s shoving canapés into his mouth, the delicate, bite-sized bruschettas and caviar blini looking especially small in his long, thick fingers. It’s obvious he hasn’t eaten, which is typical Richie—he’s the “only coffee and cigarettes until midday, at least” guy, then grabs something quick, just to stuff himself with greasy fast food later in the evening.

You hate how well you know him, how hard it is not to notice his presence in Nat and Pete’s living room, crowded with close and extended family members, Pete’s co-workers, and of course, The Bear crew. Richie’s dressed in an unusual outfit—not a suit, but not his typical sweatsuit either. He’s wearing washed Levi’s and a dark gray henley.

You’d be lying if you said he doesn’t look good. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t still a little heartbroken over what he told you two weeks ago. This can’t happen again.

Petulantly, you don’t go over to greet him. Instead, you talk to Marcus, then catch Pete to congratulate him on the baby, handing him a card in a nice, expensive envelope. In the kitchen, you pour some fresh orange juice, bypass the alcohol, and cram as many ice cubes as you can into the glass. You don’t watch Richie directly, but you’re aware of his every movement.

Donna’s trying to shush everyone because Natalie’s putting the baby down in the nursery, which strikes you as funny—funny and ironic. You have little patience for parents who messed up their kids’ lives, whether it’s your own parents, Donna Berzatto, or the countless irresponsible people who should never have had children.

By the large window overlooking the garden, Richie finally approaches you. Small victories.

“What’re you doing?” His voice, once soothing, now grates on you.

That catches you off guard—it’s not what you were expecting.

“Celebrating the baby,” you reply, raising your half-empty glass of juice.

Richie scoffs, glancing up at the ceiling. It takes you a moment to catch up. He’s so simple, yet so complicated.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Richie warns, and you realize he’s noticed your constant awareness of him.

“Like what?” you play dumb.

“Like it’s all my fault,” Richie snaps, his voice rising slightly. One of the uncles turns to look.

Shaking your head in disbelief, you decide not to react. With so many people around, you don’t want to cause a scene. Under Richie’s heavy gaze, you leave the room and head upstairs in search of a bathroom.

Once you’ve freshened up, wiping the black mascara marks from under your eyes and reapplying your lipstick, you feel a bit better. But as soon as you open the door, Richie is right there, hooking his arm through yours and leading you into the nearest room—a guest room, from the look of it.

“What?” you snap, shaking him off and turning to face him.

“I wanna know what’s going on with you,” Richie growls, leaning down until your faces are mere inches apart.

The tension between you is thick, a mix of unresolved emotions and an undeniable physical pull. You both stand there, breathing heavily, caught between the chaos of the party downstairs and the storm brewing in this quiet room.

You can’t believe him. “What’s going on with me? You said things couldn’t happen again, but they did—once, twice. And it was you who initiated it.”

The weight of unspoken words and unsaid truths hangs heavily between you.

Richie steps back, half-turning as he groans loudly, covering his eyes with his large palm.

“Now you wanna pretend nothing ever happened?” you accuse, your voice sounding weaker than you intended.

Richie looks at you with an intensity that both excites and terrifies you. “Because it has to be that way. Fuck—I could be your dad. Jesus.” His hand flexes at his side, like he’s trying to hold himself back.

“But you’re not!” you shout. Richie steps back into your space, gripping your bare arm with one hand while covering your mouth with the other.

“There are people,” Richie hisses, his gaze flicking between your lips and your eyes.

For a second, you freeze, then you shake him off and step away. You don’t know this side of him—serious, cold, holding on to his façade as tightly as he can.

“I’m tired of never talking about it,” you say, shaking your head, glowering. You still call it “it,” avoiding the truth.

Richie frowns at you, his deep blue eyes searching for something. The noise from downstairs is loud—laughter, clinking glasses, doors opening and closing. It’s a wild new baby celebration, Berzatto-style. Better laughter than screaming.

A hollow feeling grows in your chest with each passing second. You’re afraid to speak up, so you wait for Richie to make a move.

“What if I said I wanted it?”

“Wanted what?” you ask, trying to mask the tremble in your voice, scared to hope that he means what you think he does. Would a man like Richie really give in? It’s never simple with him—his demons, his baggage, all the walls he’s built.

“If I wanted—this,” Richie waves between the two of you, avoiding your eyes.

Your stomach tightens. It’s not what you’d hoped for deep down, and a pang of disappointment hits you, but you knew this was coming. You step closer to him, your chest brushing against his. The magnetic pull between you is undeniable, and you know if you give in, it’ll consume you both. Maybe that’s exactly what you want. Friends with benefits never ends happily.

In the end, it’s Richie who reaches for you, kissing you with Earth-shattering force. His fingers, smelling faintly of olives, chives, and cigarettes, cradle your face, and you weakly cup his cheeks, feeling his beard under your palms.

You hear yourself whimper as your tongues meet, your eyebrows knitting together as your face crumples. You’re on the verge of tears. Maybe you are crying—Richie doesn’t understand anything, he’s so fucking stupid, and you can’t tell him, because then he’ll leave you and never come back.

The thoughts spur you on. You lead the kiss, desperately pressing closer, standing on your tiptoes, licking into his mouth, biting his lip. He grabs your wrists, as if he wants to say something, but you don’t let him.

Then a loud cracking noise from downstairs jolts you both, and you pull apart, fear of getting caught overtaking the need within you.

Your eyes are heavy with want, arousal pulsing through your body. Richie doesn’t look any better.

“Okay,” you say, though your heart flutters with a mix of anticipation and caution. “But if we’re doing this, it has to be clear—no more mixed signals. No denial.”

Richie’s eyes darken as he steps closer again, his hand trailing down your arm. “Deal,” he says, his voice low, filled with that familiar, irresistible edge. He leans in, his breath brushing against your lips. “We stick to what we know.”

[yellowocaballero]

“I’m afraid I must call you out of retirement for a final mission.”

Cold ice shot through Tobi’s chest. Fuck.

Did he know? He couldn’t. If he knew, he wouldn’t show it like this. His visit with T&I would be a lot less cheerful, that’s for sure. Was he prodding Tobi, watching for his reaction? Did Sarutobi honestly think he’d slip up? Tobi was incapable of slipping up. He couldn’t tell the truth with a kunai to his throat at this point.

“What sort of mission is it?” Tobi asked excitedly, ripping open the folder. He held the paper up and slowly mouthed the words on the page, fighting to get through the page. Look at him, he filled out his mission reports in crayon and could barely read. “Mission report…assignment duration, promotion or release…pay…oh, ew…assignment…jounin sensei…”

Tobi trailed off.

Distantly, he heard himself say, “Um. Maybe this is a mistake?”

As promised in last post. Kakashi & Obito roleswap. Barely. It's complicated. Please pay no attention to how many roleswaps I have written. Just ignore it. Do me a favor and do not think about it. OK? Thank you.

Snippet from a much longer, much messier document. This part was the very first part writiten and very much a proof of concept. I'm trying to figure out if I should overhaul the thing and turn this into an actual story, so let me know.

Short beginning scene of Tobito's Wild Ride under the cut.

“Tobi. Thank you for coming.”

Obviously, Tobi didn’t bow or kneel. That wasn’t the sort of person Tobi was. He just grinned broadly, waving so broadly that his body swayed with the motion. “Gramps! Hello! Wow, you’ve gotten old since I’ve seen you!”

Sarutobi chuckled, raising a pipe to his mouth. The pipe - either ‘I’m thinking hard’, ‘I want to pretend I’m thinking hard and giving due consideration to your idea when I don’t really care’, or ‘I’ve already decided and I’m pretending that you have a say in this’. What was the point of the last one? This was a literal military dictatorship. Tobi forgot how exhausting this man could be. 

“It has been a while,” Sarutobi said indulgently. “Since…the T&I incident, I believe?”

Tobi giggled, high and childish. “Inoichi-san got sooo mad. But Tobi said he was real, real, real sorry, so I hope he’s not still mad…oh, no.” Tobi gasped, face falling in desolation. “Is Inoichi-san still mad at me? Oh, Tobi can go apologize again -”

“It’s water under the bridge.” Tobi exhaled gustily, wiping the back of his hand against his brow. It wasn’t his fault Inoichi hated him. Apparently his mind was absolutely impenetrable. Something about constant children’s lullabies just playing full blast in his head. Or songs regarding a specific time of day someplace in the world. “I have to apologize, Tobi. I always feel as if I should keep a better eye on you. There’s never enough time in the day for all of the people we care about. Please forgive me for my inattention to you.”

Manipulative old fuck. Tobi panicked, embarrassed by the attention and affection. He waved his hands quickly, almost jumping up and down. “Gramps! It’s okay! Tobi’s not lonely or sad! He still has Sasuke-chan! Sasuke-chan wasn’t brutally murdered, so Tobi’s A-OK!” Tobi had to tell himself that a lot. Every morning after a nightmare, which meant every morning period. “And I met a really nice old lady yesterday and helped her down the street. She gave me an apple sweet. It was delicious! So there’s nothing to forgive, Gramps!”

“I’m glad,” Sarutobi said warmly. Ugh. Tobi knew objectively that Minato-sensei had tried to imitate that tone, but he still liked to convince himself that Sarutobi was mimicking Minato-sensei. That was a good one, he’d have to use it. “Sasuke-kun is actually why I called you here today.” 

That kid. Tobi sighed. “Tobi is sorry that Tobi cannot control Sasuke-chan. I’ve told him that punching Naruto-kun is bad, but he just doesn’t listen…”

“I’m sure you’ll find a method somehow.” Sarutobi pushed a thin file folder across the desk, and Tobi curiously stepped forward and picked it up. He’d know a file like that anywhere. It was a mission assignment folder. “I’m afraid I must call you out of retirement for a final mission.”

Cold ice shot through Tobi’s chest. Fuck.

Did he know? He couldn’t. If he knew, he wouldn’t show it like this. His visit with T&I would be a lot less cheerful, that’s for sure. Was he prodding Tobi, watching for his reaction? Did Sarutobi honestly think he’d slip up? Tobi was incapable of slipping up. He couldn’t tell the truth with a kunai to his throat at this point.

How did Tobi feel about this? Tobi sure as hell knew how Obito felt - desperately wondering if a T&I visit was in his future. Tobi was scared of the missions, sure. But he was a five year old. How would a five year old react to these things? 

Well. Tobi knew how he would have reacted. He would have sighed and rolled his eyes about yet another mission. Pretty impressive when you were burned out of your career at five years old. He blamed the two month graduation for years before he learned of Rin and Kakashi’s hell and eventually concluded that it could have been worse. At least Tobi was paid for his war zone. 

“A mission?” Tobi gushed. He clenched on the folder far too tightly, like a child clutching a wheezing frog. “I’m going on missions again?” He jumped a little, his usual little show of excitement. Kept his energy up. “Does that mean Gramps isn’t mad at me anymore?”

Tobi carefully snuck a glance up from the folder, checking Sarutobi’s expression. Sarutobi’s face was impassive stone, as usual, but he looked a little worn too. “We were never angry with you.”

Tobi fully looked up, tilting his head and frowning. “Nuh-uh. Tobi remembers. Everybody was so mad at Tobi. Just because his hand slipped…it wasn’t Tobi’s fault.”

“We know,” Sarutobi said gently. “Minato didn’t retire you because he was angry with you. He was only looking out for you.”

Well, Tobi didn’t want to be out of fucking retirement. It was objectively insane to put him on any mission. Tobi had gotten sabotaging every attempt to make him a useful member of society down to a fucking art. He had a shitton of inheritance to blow and a nice long civilian life to blow it on. Maybe he was too stubborn about it - Iruka was definitely convinced that he was the second laziest person in the village and sabotaged his assigned jobs on purpose, which Tobi would have resented if it wasn’t absolutely true - but spite was important. Spite woke him up in the morning. 

The only thing that helped him tolerate this stupid village was his hate for it. Ain’t that just the way.

“What sort of mission is it?” Tobi asked excitedly, ripping open the folder. He held the paper up and slowly mouthed the words on the page, fighting to get through the page. Look at him, he filled out his mission reports in crayon and could barely read. “Mission report…assignment duration, promotion or release…pay…oh, ew…assignment…jounin sensei…”

Tobi trailed off.

Distantly, he heard himself say, “Um. Maybe this is a mistake?”

“Trust me. You’re hardly our first choice.” Finally, they agreed on something. “But you’re the only one in this village with a Sharingan, Tobi. You’re the only one who can teach Sasuke how to use his power.”

“Nuh-uh. Um. This is a mistake. Ha ha.” Tobi ripped the paper from the folder, crumpling it into a ball and tossing it over his shoulder. “Because, um, I can’t use my Sharingan. Did Gramps maybe forget that? Ha ha?”

“But you still remember how to use it. Even if you can’t use it yourself, you can still walk Sasuke-kun through using his.” Sarutobi eyed Tobi knowingly, the dim glowing embers of his pipe reflecting a soft light in his eyes. “You were once a genius with the Sharingan, Tobi. They said you were the best since Madara.”

Yeah! Yeah, they did say that, old man! That was the whole fucking problem!

Mention of the Sharingan or Tobi’s old talents always upset him, so this was a great springboard into nipping this in the bud. He’d throw a hissy fit if he had to. Tobi had killer hissy fits. That was how Sasuke was given a seat as head of house in the Clan Council. Tobi’s wail could pierce eardrums and Sasuke had deserved that fucking seat. 

“Tobi doesn’t like the Sharingan anymore!” Tobi exclaimed. “Tobi wants to help Sasuke-chan, Gramps, cross Tobi’s heart! But Tobi doesn’t like the Sharingan and the Sharingan don’t like Tobi. And that’s just the truth.” Tobi crossed his arms, sniffling and scrunching his nose. “And don’t say what you’re gonna say. Tobi knows what’s up. Minato-sensei’s little boy is on that team too, isn’t he?”

He absolutely was. Tobi had speed-read the entire document while he was reading it out loud. But even the remnant of Obito’s genius was still considerable, and Tobi’s moments of keen insight were useful for pushing the enemy into a corner. 

“I thought you might appreciate the chance to look after your sensei’s son,” Sarutobi said mildly, removing a silver lighter from his pocket. Engraved, a gift from Biwako. Was that on purpose? A mind game on Tobi, an unconscious memory on his part, or a purposeful evocation of a memory just for him? Was he trying to remind Tobi of something or corner Obito? Damn this man. “Help him like your sensei helped you.”

The really great thing about Tobi was that he could get away with saying this. It was only to the left of cathartic, but at least it was in the zone. “I’m not stupid, Gramps!” Tobi yelled. The ANBU in the corners twitched, but when Sarutobi’s fingernail clicked on the silver lighter they subsided. “You’re giving Minato-sensei and Kushina-neechan’s little baby and his fox to the last Sharingan because you want the Sharingan to eat the Fox! Why are you doing what you want when you know it won’t work? Tobi’s tried, he can’t - he can’t, Gramps.”

It wasn’t the sort of thing any self-respecting Uchiha would admit. Half of them would kill themselves if they lost their Sharingan. Uchiha Obito, whose Sharingan was the pride and joy of the clan - who was the Uchiha’s Uchiha before Itachi-kun was even a twinkle in his mother’s eye - would never abandon his one point of value. 

And everybody knew how prideful the Uchiha were. There was no Uchiha alive who would pretend to be Tobi. Could you imagine? What Uchiha would humiliate themselves like this with a goofy smile on their face? A regular human being could barely do it. An Uchiha? Forget it. Impossible.

But Kushina-neechan’s favorite shinobi was always the most surprising of all. And Obito cared about that more than all the rest. 

The only ninja who would have ferreted him out was Kakashi. Kakashi and his dopey, stupid smile. His ridiculous porn books and his clumsy pratfalls. His laziness, lateness, and utter underachiever lifestyle. Only Kakashi ever said those words, with a wink and a smile: a true shinobi looked underneath the underneath. So save your energy and watch the clouds with me, Uchiha-kun. No? Maybe next time…

The next time never came. Being a good Uchiha had always meant something, and the useless son of a disgraced clan meant nothing at all. Nothing to anybody but Minato and Kushina and Rin and Obito.

“You’re better than nothing.” In that second, Sarutobi really did look very tired. He didn’t look like he was lying at all. “You’re the best we have, Tobi.”

Tobi was silent. Sarutobi knew it wasn’t much of a compliment. Even somebody like Tobi would know that. 

“As a favor to Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun,” Sarutobi said, “and as a favor to me. Please give these children the help you can. Don’t worry - I’ll ask the other jounin to pitch in and help.” 

Tobi lowered his voice, and he allowed his tone to grow a little more serious. “I’m not strong. I’m not good at molding chakra and I haven’t really fought anyone in a long time. I can’t protect the children.” 

“We’ll be careful,” Sarutobi allowed. But there was something in his eye… “You may be rusty, but I doubt you’re out of the ring yet. Have a little faith in yourself.” The look in his eyes glinted and grew, and for the first time he stared right at Tobi. “You did hold your own against Uchiha Itachi.”

They stared at each other for a long second, two. A little too late, Tobi laughed and scrubbed the back of his neck. “Silly Gramps! I said a billion times. Tobi hid. I don’t think Itachi-kun thought it was worth it to kill me…I don’t think Itachi-kun ever thought I was a real Uchiha. But we’ve showed him, huh?” Tobi grinned, jabbing a finger at his chest. “Now there’s three whole Uchiha in the whole wide world! One third’s a serial killer, one third’s twelve, and one third is…drumroll please…Tobi! Konoha’s in good hands, ne?”

Tobi smiled at the man who ordered Uchiha Itachi to kill their entire family.

Sarutobi smiled back at the man who was currently pulling the most intricate and improbable lying campaign in a village of ninjas. In Obito’s defense, it was to save his own life. Sarutobi had murdered his family to - well, save the village, but Tobi didn’t have to like it. 

“Thank you for accepting the mission. I trust you’ll do splendidly.”

“Uh. Tobi didn’t -”

“The children ought to be waiting for you in the schoolroom at 1000 hours. You ought to head over - I expect you’re already late.”

Tobi squealed, looking at the unwound watch on his wrist and slapping his head. “Oh no! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late! Bye, Gramps! You promise-promise to get back-up for Tobi, right?”

Pleasantly, Sarutobi said, “I would not trust you alone with those children, no.”

“Yay! Okay, gotta goooo!”

When he left Sarutobi’s office, he was about ten minutes late to his meeting with the children. By the time he arrived at the school he was over an hour late. Lost on the road of life and all that. It didn’t matter - venting about this ridiculousness to Kakashi was way more important than meeting the brats on time.

This would be a disaster. There was no way this would end well. Tobi was a brain damaged, traumatized moron who couldn’t use his one skill and who hadn’t been on active duty since he whoopsie-daisy’d his sword into his best friend’s heart. If Sarutobi didn’t keep up his promise and drag in the other jounin to take up his slack then he’d riot. Did he want Tobi to do work? Tobi? He had resigned from capitalism and the military industrial complex. Pulling him into this shit again - as if he hadn’t suffered enough -

As if Sasuke and Naruto hadn’t. Maybe one of Sarutobi’s stupid-ass motivations was because he knew that only Tobi would be nice to Sasuke and Naruto. Damn Naruto especially. For that, at least…if only as a favor to Minato-sensei…

To make up for it…maybe a little bit of real work would be the least he could do.

Ugh. Hopefully not that much.

Tobi finally touched down at the school, following the Academy hallways to Sasuke’s classroom by route memory. He dropped off Sasuke’s lunch a lot. It embarrassed him so much. It was classic.

Tobi walked into the classroom and allowed a large basket of glitter to fall on top of his head.

A peal of laughter squealed throughout the room, and Tobi opened his eyes to see Uzumaki Naruto clutching his sides and laughing his ass off. Quite rudely, Sasuke had his feet propped up on a desk. That third girl was sitting primly in her seat, terrified. 

“What an idiot! Our new sensei actually fell for - wait.” Naruto straightened, squinting at Tobi. He yelled, jabbing a finger at him. “Hey! Number Two Ramen Fan! What the hell are you doing here?”

Sasuke almost fell out of his seat. He scrambled to his feet, panicked in his special Sasuke way - that was, eyes a little wider than usual. “Tobi? Did I forget my lunch?”

“Um?” Sakura Haruno hunched her shoulders in her seat, picking at the corner of a scroll. “Uchiha Obito’s our sensei. I thought you knew. Did you…not know?”

“Is this a joke?” Sasuke cried. “Who the hell thought this was funny? Tobi couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag! If they’re bullying us again, I swear to god I’ll strangle whoever -”

“Whoah,” Naruto cried, impressed. “Violent!”

“Everybody’s always bullying Tobi,” Sasuke snapped. “I’m an Uchiha. What sort of Uchiha would I be if I tolerated that?”

Glitter dripped down Tobi’s hair and sprinkled onto his clothing. He smiled, big and bright, and clapped his hands together. Sasuke was groaning, but Naruto and Sakura just leaned in closer - caught in a morbid curiosity, desperate to meet their own fate. Signed and sealed. “Tobi’s first impression of you all is…you’re so funny! Tobi likes you!”

The kids paled. 

[time-to-time-talk]

Mkay, I'm gonna go over the timeskip hero ratings, because I have some thoughts.

1.Mirio: I'm chill with this. Aizawa did say that he could compete for number one against the pros when he was still in high school, so it adds up.

2. Shouto: Kinda funny, kinda sad, when you consider this kid went trough hell with Endeavor. That man put his son through rigorous training, all while abusing his kids in one way or another (leading one to his death) in hopes of having his legacy reach #1, only for Shouto to sit at second just like him... Anyway, good placement for him.

3. Mt.Lady: ... I don't get it. She's a fine hero. She was going crazy with beating up AFO. But third? From what is shown, I get the vibe that her main attraction is sex appeal; other than that there's not much to her public personality that I can see getting her that far up. It just doesn't feel right.

4. Kamui Woods: I guess I get it. Solid hero. He was up there before, he can be up there again.

5. Best Jeanist: Good with me, I like him.

6. Miriko: Yes (I must acknowledge that she is in this placement with only one limb... I love her)

7. Nejire: Good. She has a rather versatile quirk and good personality.

8. Wash: ... No. I didn't get it when he was first shown, and I don't get it now. He is a rescue hero, that much I know, and he's good for on scene medical attention, But eighth? He doesn't even have a solid personality to make him more likeable...

9. Shoji: I like the guy, but nine feels to high... I would guess he is very public with his opinions on the treatment of heteromorphs, and that could likely get him more votes.

10. Monoma: I like Monama, I really do, but that was only after season seven. (now every time I look back at earlier seasons, I just see a silly little guy) We never truly get to see his personality outside of his hatred for class A, so it's hard to say I agree with this positioning. On top of that, and I hate say it, but he said so himself (or the people in his past said it.. same diff') his quirk would make him amount to only a side character. Taking that to the terms of heroics, he wouldn't do much on his own. He's athletic, yes, but he's mainly a support hero, and I can't see that getting him to far in the hero ratings.

11. Fatgum: Sure. He's got a good personality, and seems pretty efficient.

12. Kirishima: Kinda wish he was higher, but it's still a great placement. He has a very charismatic personality that I see many people liking. He's kind and shows emotion easily; I'm sure he helps humanise heroes for a lot of people. (and obviously, he's just the best... I'm not biased)

13. Iida: Good placing; this is more of just general thoughts, not why he does or doesn't deserve this spot. I'm trying to decide if his personality would make him more or less likeable... Don't get me wrong, I do like Iida, but some aspects of his rule follower mindset (more so the way he shows it) gives me the vibe of... annoying, I guess?? I don't know. At the same time, I see him being really good with kids, and I'm sure that would make him very likeable.

14. Honenuki (Mud Man - Class B): He's got a quirk that can end a fight quickly, and has charming personality (from what I remember) and shows humility. I get it.

15. Bakugou: I've seen people say things like "The reason Endeavor's placement makes sense is because he was more standoffish and aloof, not abrasive and shouty" (not the exact words, but pretty much the point that's being made) to which I say A) We have seen this kids growth, I am sure that at this point in time (which I believe is an eight year time skip [I haven't actually read the manga, I'm going off of whats in the anime]) he is very different. Not to the point of a change in his entire character, obviously, but enough to show he is a good person. B) I can only think of Miriko compared to Bakugou and think "how are their personalities different enough for her to get so high and him to be at fifteen?" I understand that they do have different personalities, but are they that far off for Bakugou to be that much lower compared to her? I guess the main thing is that it feels weird for such a major character to get fifteenth.

16. Inasa: Sure. Good quirk and lovable personality.

17. Tokoyami: He is strong as fuck and I will not stand for him being in seventeenth. Half joking. He is genuinely strong, but I would guess he isn't all to personable. Problems of being an introvert I guess.

18. Tamaki: If he wasn't so shy, I can guarantee he would be higher. I would hope he would have gotten a little more confident by now, but I guess not.

19. Momo: Honestly kinda shocked she's this high up, but I think that's mostly because I'm not smart enough to see the wide range versatility of her quirk. The more I think about it, the more I fully understand her placement. On top of that she has a very calming personality.

20. Shindo: No. I don't doubt he's a good hero, but imo his personality is kinda ass. I know that as a viewer, we get to see that his outgoing, charming persona is fake, but even then, it feels so obviously fake. Like, Bakugou instantly clocked his ass. And in season six, when we see him again, the front he put on to those guys he was trying to get to safety was so obviously over the top. I think its just hard to get it out of my head that he's fake with his charming personality. Though his quirk does kinda suck... most of the moves we see him do cause damage to the surrounding area which isn't really a positive...

I think that's all I have to say. If anyone wants to oppose something I said go ahead (just be nice about it, i'm a pussy when it comes to rude wording), I'd be happy to discuss and hear others thoughts!

FYI none of this is made to bash on characters (exept Shindo ig, but I didn't really mean to do that)

[damianbugs]

Hi!! First I just wanted to say your fics have been an inspo for me to write my own fics and I enjoy them immensely. Second, I’ve been wandering something and I want to ask something about how Jason Todd is portrayed after his death.

I don’t really understand why so many just kind of lie? Or exasperate who Jason Todd is and isn’t. Like the Cass and Bruce scene in front of Jason’s grave, or that scene in Gotham Knights where Alfred tells Bruce “Jason was determined to disobey him.” I know out of universe it just has to do with the mischaracterization of Jason but I’m having a hard time on finding an in universe explanation. Is it out of guilt? Out of misplaced love? It’s confusing me a bit

first of all, thank you!! i'm so glad i could inspire you that is truly the highest complement i could receive <3

secondly, this is a really interesting discussion! you're right about how in a meta way it's the deeply routed classism in jasons writing, as well as many writers (example: grant morrison) just really hating jason for some reason and doing everything they can to make him absolutely insufferable. not even in a cool evil villain way, but in an embarrassment point and laugh kind of way.

for the purpose of this discussion lets (with much difficulty) ignore the writers predispositions and implications and just focus entirely on what this means for the characters. it's good you mention the cass and bruce at jason's grave scene, because i think that example alone is a good way to deconstruct some of character's (for this post: bruce's) perspective of jason's death.

to summarise before dumping a billion paragraphs developing the point; let's not dance around it and accept that much of people's understanding of jason's death falls into the victim blaming variety, but in such way that the characters don't seem to realise that's how they perceive him, which is almost worse than them purposely retelling it in such a way. as well as that, aside from this indenial misunderstanding of jason, i think this shows the sort of flaws the other characters have.

Detective Comics #790

at first glance this seems like a really touching and emotional moment where bruce is sharing his grief with cass (especially when the entirety of #790 is about bruce struggling to do just that), but then you really read it and you're like what the fuck... why are we standing in front of this kids grave slagging him off? not only are we hearing all of bruce's regrets about how he raised jason as opposed to his son's actual death, but we are dragging steph into this too.

to bruce, jason's death is an accumulation of everything he let the boy get away with finally reaching it's tipping point. that jason's ambition to "prove something" lead to his seemingly inevitable demise.

now i do think it's important to note that WE (the readers) know jason died saving sheila. that despite being beaten, betrayed and left for dead, he tried to save someone and paid the price for it. no one else knows that, because the two people that did are dead. as a result, bruce is left with the facts that;

prior to his death, jason was acting uncharacteristically (<- important point) violent and aggressive towards himself, borderline passively suicidal. bruce himself acknowledges this.

that jason ran away from home in search of someone who may or may not be his mother. this is because losing his parents is a hurt jason has still not healed from and a topic bruce has handled badly in the past (example: willis todd). jason does not trust bruce enough to tell him about this.

once they find his mother, jason is instructed to not get involved in the joker related problem. to the extent of bruces knowledge, jason reveals himself as robin, and decides to get involved despite the instruction not to. either because he again, didn't trust bruce to believe he would handle it, or that jason was trying to prove something to bruce, to sheila, or to himself.

sheila dies, jason dies and bruce is the only one alive from the tragedy with only half the story.

All of this can be found in A Death In The Family, but I don't feel comfortable sharing panels of it given where the story takes place right now.

bruce spends the next few years blaming himself at any given point, but the blame is misplaced. bruce feels as though HIS negligence of JASON'S personality and HIS allowance of JASON'S freedom as robin is what allowed JASON to go and die. instead of seeing what he knows to be true about jason (his empathy, his kindness, his grief and loneliness) bruce can now only see how his allowance of all these things played a part in JASON disobeying him (whether maliciously or not) and dying.

in short, bruce is projecting big time onto his dead kid.

bruce is, as per usual, coping with loss by antagonising it. he did the same with babs, with steph and later on with damian. for a character like batman, who upon failing immediately turns these losses into lessons (for himself and all those forced to comply), it's the only way he seems to 'move on'. if he can understand that jason died because of all the things bruce let him do wrong, then he can convince himself that the guilt he feels for it is necessary. that jasons death is on him and that it mattered.

unfortunately, in order to do that, bruce is indenial about what he LITERALLY KNOWS ABOUT JASON! it's not like he was an absent father to jason in the slightest. but hey, if he can vitiate jason's enthusiasm to help people as jason's impulsiveness to fight (two things that can be true but not in accordance to the context he describes them in), then the blame is on jason for being brash, and on bruce for being lenient.

he shoots jason in the foot and himself in the knee to keep them both down. because, well, jason's dead anyway, and bruce unfortunately isn't. this is the closest thing they'll get to sharing the truth bruce knows he's missing and he knows it's his fault for favouring the mission of his son — so at the expense of jason, bruce lets them both be the lesson to learn from.

it is why jason is used as a cautionary tale, and why bruce is so unstable on allowing people (especially children) into his life emotionally. the second robin is a lesson for any young vigilante eager to join the mission, and batman's part in the death is a lesson for bruce wayne to... be even more emotionally untrustworthy? instructions unclear.

the final part of the grave scene is also important, because bruce is admitting that he is not so different to jason. that "for some of us [Bruce and Cass] there is no turning back". he is projecting these flaws about jason not only because that's the only way he can cope with jason's death, but he is projecting these flaws because regardless of what actually happened, he (and cass) are destined to meet the same fate. jason died for a multitude of reason that bruce may or may not have caused knowingly, and these reasons only exist because bruce knows them to be true in himself and anyone else damaged enough to find themselves on his side of the blurry line.

so, now looking a bit less zoomed in, i think it's unfortunate that jason's time as robin is often perversed by the people who should know better (bruce & alfred), and while it is bad writing on jason's character, it is great writing to show the flaws in the characters around him.

especially how it shows that grief is not always something that can become healed. bruce's guilt about his parents death amounts to something hopeful (batman), but his guilt about jason's death makes bruce cruel and childish.

tldr: no one knows the true story, so they compensate from what they do know — but by doing so they project and misinform existing characteristics of jason in order to compartmentalise the gravity of his tragic death. bruce is unable to cope normally and everyone is forced to follow the same fate, because batman's lessons are rarely wrong, even if they cause ten other problems and misunderstandings to understand.

[harukamitsuki]

I'm procrastinating writing at the moment, so I decided to create a list of the things I hate about Voltron, a show I can't help but love and rewatch 200+ times. I mean. I've been pretty damn vocal about one thing in particular, but I should probably remind people I hate other things too so...

This list will be long, so read more under the cut!

1 - Okay, let's just get the obvious one out of the way: Lance. Reasons why can be seen here, here and here. The first link really goes into the details, the second one is more confusion as to why people think Lance is treated the worst, and the last is more why Lance would be horrible as Black Paladin. MOVING ON TO NEW POINTS!

2 - The ships. Specifically... ahem... Klance, Sheith, Allurance, Lotorance (Lotor/Lance), Shidge (Shiro/Pidge), Shance (Shiro/Lance). Those, in my opinion, are the top offenders. I've explained my grievances with Sheith in a post here. It's not that it's paedophillia, it's the bond. As for the rest, while I dabbled a bit in Klance and Allurance in the aforementioned posts against Lance, I've yet to actually explain.

First of all, the fans are awful. Tip: If you keep trying to force people to like your ship instead of letting them get to their own conclusions, they're just going to hate that ship even more. This isn't a Voltron-specific thing, but it's still rampant.

Second of all, Lance doesn't treat either of them well. He's constantly antagonising Keith, even when Keith stops biting back in season two. The closest he gets to respecting Keith is telling him to suck it up when he's upset that the Black Lion chose him. Keith does try to be amicable to Lance, but it doesn't work because Lance is always picking a fight.

And Allura. Lance is constantly ignoring her boundaries and invading them. There isn't a single moment where they're alone together and they feel like friends, much less pining, before season seven. The only time is when Allura encourages Lance to take up Red, and he didn't even notice she was upset that Red rejected her. In fact, Lance just keeps talking about himself and how he was rejected, ignoring how Allura was rejected twice, and by the Lion her father piloted. Allura also never reacts well to Lance's flirting, always ignoring him and frowning when he does. If Allura, at least, used to laugh at his terrible attempts at flirting, maybe I could try to believe it.

Third, general grievances with these ships.

Lotorance. Lance hated Lotor from the get-go. They barely have a scene together without Lance glaring at him. If they shared some sort of chemistry outside of Lance hating him from afar, and if the writers didn't make Lotor a twist villain for no reason, then maybe. As of now, I only like it as a complete crack ship.

Shidge. Pidge is fifteen. Shiro is twenty-five. You do the damn math.

Shance. I can definitely see Shiro being Lance's bi awakening, if I believed canon Lance was bi. (Canon Lance was straighter than a chopping board, but fanon Lance is a walking bi flag). But them being together? Ignoring that Lance is 17 and Shiro is 25, if you can do that, it wouldn't feel like a healthy relationship. Lance is blinded by hero worship and, from his canon personality, he likely wouldn't realise if Shiro isn't faring well or would just constantly pile his troubles onto him without thinking about if Shiro could handle it. So, yeah, don't like this ship.

So, yeah. I don't like any of the popular ships, which is surprising. I don't hate all of them. I do like Kallura, (should have been canon), and Shallura, (surprising, because I really do like gay!Shiro), and Shunk, (who doesn't, honestly?). But I tend to prefer the nicher ones. Katt (Keith/Matt), Heith (Hunk/Keith), Hance (Hunk/Lance)...

3 - The writing. Usually, I would respect the writers because it's hard as fuck to plan and write an entire series, but they just kept missing. They would set up so many interesting plots and ideas, only to do absolutely nothing with them. This, in and of itself, is not enough to make me lose respect, but that's not all. Plot holes, terrible escalations, too slow pacing, (slow burns are good - great, even - but not when things are supposed to be happening), horrible romances... It's to the point where, for a long while, I avoided the show and only read the fanfiction. There are so many people who don't watch the show, only exposed through fanfiction and social media posts, because the writing just isn't good.

The writers get things right few times. I'm sorry, but if your entire job is to write a coherent, well-thought out story, why did they do such a bag job at it? I'll tell you why - they let the fans control what they did. Shiro was never supposed to come back. He was supposed to die at the end of season two and never come back, but the fans wanted him back so guess what? The writers brought him back! In doing so, they cut right into Keith's character arc and made him go through it off-screen. The fans built Lance up as the main character and fan-favourite? Well, the writers just decide to hand him everything. Reward him for being the fan-favourite and then ruin his character by never making him work for what he got.

The writers decide to pull a J.K.Rowling and went 'aw, yeah, Lance is bisexual!' despite him never showing an interest in a guy throughout the entire show, other than being a big fan of Shiro. They throw in gay!Shiro at the literal last minute with some background character who only ever had one line. Thanks, DreamWorks. It's not like you could've just let Adam live so Shiro could be going home to SOMEONE.

Unexpected things always happen. An actor being unavailable, a sudden irl event making it so the episode you planned would appear tone-deaf, the joke you wrote was less funny and more offensive... So on and so forth. Sometimes you have no choice but to change what you have planned because delaying it would just make the studio and the fans mad. Just... TRY to make it make sense. And don't fold to the fans, dammit. Shiro should have stayed dead because he just doesn't do anything when Allura and Keith saved him. The main character should have stayed as an ensemble, rather than pushing Lance as the central focus, because it would have left less reasons for me to hate Lance and give other, specifically Hunk, the development they deserved.

The show also never adresses traumatising shit, (*cough cough* Keith's sacrifice attempt *cough cough*), but that can be forgiven because it was aimed at children. I do, however, like that LM corrected an interviewer when they asked about Keith 'attempting to kill himself'. It was quickly corrected to 'sacrificing himself' because that's what it was! I'm sick of people acting like he was suicidal because he wasn't. He was actively scared of what he was going to do, i.e. sacrifice his life for everyone's sake. He tried to do it for the greater good. Would you call one of the many who died during wars suicidal? No. You would call them noble and heroic for their sacrifice, because that's what they are. That is what Keith was trying to do. He saw the only way out and decided one life in exchange for the many is a damn good deal and took it. Saying he was depressed and suicidal is undermining the actions he took.

So, yeah. In my eyes, the writers did two good things. Correcting the mistake belief that Keith was suicidal, and creating this shit-fest of a show. (God, I love/hate Voltron).

4 - How Pidge is treated by the fandom. Pidge is so mean. She's rude and callous and selfish and that's okay. What's not okay is acting like these traits make her a queen. She's rude, fine. She's callous, fine. She's selfish, fine. She's incredible for this? Um, no? Stop treating her like she's just sassy. She's mean. I mean, not long after Shiro's death/disappearance, she calls Keith, who is mourning Shiro so deeply, a 'loner'. Without even getting to know him. She just deems him a loner, even though Keith is just so genuinely kind?

Don't get me wrong. I love Pidge. She's great and she's an absolute joy to write. I admire her tenacity in trying to find her missing family members while also able to put the universe before them. Watching her break down about Matt when she thinks he's dead is so utterly heartbreaking because I really did like her.

But acting as if she's perfect because of this? No way.

(Also, I refer to Pidge as 'she/her' only in these posts. I much prefer gender neutral or trans Pidge.)

5 - Hunk's treatment. He deserved SO MUCH BETTER! This sweet, precious boy. He's the only one who reacted approppriately to becoming a child solider. He's an anxious, terrified kid and he's still able to swallow that fear and fight on because there are people, people like Shay, who have no idea what freedom means and if the sky is blue.

He's the only one who has to find and fight for his family when they get back to Earth, which makes me sad. Very sad. He cares so much about his friends. Even if he's scared, he'll still put himself in danger for them.

But the narrative treats him like garbage, reducing him to the comedic, fat joke, while Lance never treats him like a best friend. He deserved so much more than what he was given.

6 - The people in charge were so obsessed with doing every character dirty. They wanted to keep Shiro death, wanted to kill Keith after admitting to not knowing where they were going with him, tried to kill Hunk who did nothing wrong to deserve this, and actually killed Allura off when they realised Allurance would not work in the long-term because Lance would not be able to part from Earth for so long while Allura would not be able to stay confined to Earth at all.

7 - Lance fans would hate him if he was white.

[aboutnavi]

I was brushing my teeth, reflecting about life, & my mind went back to AFTG and there is a scene on the first book that it has been stuck on my brain since I read the trilogy again this January and it's about Seth. Now, I know the fandom -in general- barely talk about Seth because Nora decided to kill him off for shock value and when people try to talk about him, it always comes back to 'he was a homophobic, disgusting piece of shit' which yes, valid but also, are we forgetting Aaron? The babyfication of Aaron in this fandom had everyone collectively forgetting he was exactly like Seth (even worse: towards his family!!!). Two wrongs doesn't make one right & I'm in no way justifying Seth's action but if we never talk about characters on AFTG just because they were problematic, we are not talking about any of them, ever (ok maybe some of them, but still).

My point is: the scene. Neil is confused as to why Seth hates Kevin -specifically him- so much, since Seth could get along with most people if he wanted and tried hard enough but he refused to give ground to Kevin & his answer is just so humanly heartbreaking it goes to my list of moments Nora did something right in AFTG. The scene goes like this:

Neil: Why do you hate him?

Seth: Because I'm sick of him getting everything he wants just because he's Kevin Day. Do you know what fame gets you, shitface? Everything. All he has to do is ask for it, and someone will give it to him. Doesn't matter what. Doesn't matter who. The world is dying to give him anything he wants. When he broke his hand, his fans cried for him. They flooded our locker room with letters and flowers. The amazing Kevin Day can't play anymore. Their lives were over. They'd grieve the loss forever. But tell me when's the last time anyone cried over you? Never, right? They're there for Kevin every step of the way, but where were they when we needed them?

Neil, stupidly: So you're jealous.

Seth: His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.

Neil first instinct is to say jealousy because jealousy is something he understands (he felt jealous of Kevin for having a future, for being able to play, for the talent, for the life he never got to live when his mother ran away, etc.) but for me what Seth is trying to portrait is more like the painful awareness that you get when you realize you're also worthy of love and care. Seth is such an unexplored character who had so much potential if Nora hadn't killed him for the sake of showing how Riko could be/was dangerous (and she could have done that in so many different ways!!!) & you can see that on, for example, Nora's post about his life. Seth was always the no-priority person, the kid no one payed attention to, the boy that if killed, not even his mother would come for the funeral. He was every aspect a Fox and he spent his entire life being told he was no one and to be able to say his life is not more important than mine shows so much development; the chance he had put on himself for being open to love, to care, to second and third chances... it was all there. It breaks my heart that he never got the chance to become something. & I do not believe he was an inherently bad person? They are so young in AFTG, all of them. Maybe Seth wasn't bad; maybe he was just twenty-two, you know?

& on the extra content when they tell Allison he died and she goes 'He called me not even an hour ago! He was drunk and rambling but he was happy for the first time in weeks. He was talking about how he finally thought graduating would be okay, about how he wanted me to help him look into grad schools. He wanted to go into social work and help people like he helps us. I know he wanted to die! Everyone knows he wanted to die! Every time he said he was done with life I walked away from him and every time he came chasing after me. This is the first time--he wanted to live.' breaks my heart.

Because, ok, Seth dies. Let's pretend it was a good idea for him to die to set some sort of impact on the story for a second. Except his death goes without much fuss. The shock Nora wanted is felt for maybe three seconds, in one paragraph in the last page of TFC and then we barely talk about Seth on TRK and TKM. Neil can't even understand how impactful was Seth's death - he only cares about how it will affect the game & his guilt is more about how Allison would feel towards him then sadness over losing a teammate - and this insight we get from Allison is from the extra content and not everyone goes on to read those so if Nora wanted something out of his death - pity, shock, sadness, or whatever - she should have put this scene IN THE BOOKS.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

For April Fool’s 2024, I decided to do a bit inspired by Todd in the Shadows called Ford Analyzes Tunes And Song Stuff, or FATASS for short (a little nod to how Todd’s moniker can be shortened to TITS). Basically people would send me a song, and I would give some wacky analysis or review of the song that was probably the opposite of my actual, genuine opinion. For example, for Nickleback’s “Photoraph,” I claimed the entire song was actually a bittersweet gay romance. It was a fun exercise in crafting absurdity from even the most mundane or stupid lyrics. But it did leave me wanting to review a song for real… and what better than one of my favorite songs of all time?

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that need no introduction, but I’ll do it in case some of you out there don’t listen to good music and/or hate California: RHCP is a funk/alternative rock band formed in 1982, though they didn’t really cement their status as one of the best bands around until their release of the alt rock classic Blood Sugar Sex Magik in 1991, an album that produced the personal and powerful “Under the Bridge,” the hard rocking “Suck My Kiss,” and the all-time banger “Give It Away.” It’s a fantastic album, one of the most influential of its time, and many regard it as RHCP’s best work—including the band’s bassist, Flea. I’m certainly inclined to agree; it’s a nice middle ground between their heavily funk-influenced early work and their later more radio-friendly rock tunes. Don’t get the wrong idea here—they were, and still are, a very good band—but I think in my opinion the 90s were the decade where they really stood out from the crowd as trailblazers in the rock scene.

With that out of the way, it’s time to single out my absolute favorite song on the album to talk about: An eight minute long track titled “Sir Psycho Sexy.” With a title like that and an impressive length to match, you know you’re in for something bonkers, and I’d say the song delivers in spades; it’s a funky rap rock epic that is hornier than almost any song before or since. The rizz the titular Sir Psycho Sexy of the song displays is beyond that of any mortal man, and it is simply glorious. This song is also a song that inspired one of my Ocs—Flynn Dangerfield from the Rhine City series my wife and I are working on. If you’re unfamiliar with the character (and you shouldn’t be, the rough drafts for the story are pinned at the top of my blog), this is like if Alex Hirsch said Dipper and Mable were actually inspired by Flowers in the Attic.

If you don’t believe me, then read on as I riff on one of my favorite songs and showcase the brilliant lyrical insanity of a 90s rock band that was likely high as a kite while writing this. Also, this is your warning: These lyrics are insanely NSFW. This isn’t nearly as bad as the last song I riffed on, “Pregnant Pussy,” but it’s up there. You’ve been warned.

So this song is sort of a story, and every story has a main character. And what a character we have here; Sir Psycho Sexy is his name, and getting pussy is his game. How does one introduce such a man?

A long, long, long, long time ago Before the wind, before the snow Lived a man, lived a man I know Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Not a bad way to start things. Lead singer Anthony Kiedis really sets up Sir Psycho as some ancient, powerful force of nature, a being who has existed as long as there were babes to fuck and who is so eternal he was there before wind or snow. Mind you, this is before we get into all of his insane sexual feats and astounding prowess with the ladies, so we have the coolest guy in the universe right here. Let’s see what else there is to say about him:

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me Sometimes I find I need to scream

Oh. Ok then. So Anthony Kiedis is Sir Psycho Sexy. This is either self-insert Mary Sue fanfiction, or it’s an autobiographical tale describing things that actually happened. Let’s be super duper charitable and call it the latter. At any rate, the fact he just likes to scream sometimes is universally relatable.

Still, you may not be convinced how good the song is from this opener, as it can come off as blatant wish fulfillment fantasy. Thankfully, the second verse opens with the greatest lyrics ever written by a human hand:

Deep inside the garden of Eden Standing there with my hard on bleedin' There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen Good God no that would be treason

This is absolutely blasphemous, disgusting, degenerate, explicit, and one of the funniest fucking set of lyrics to ever be in a song. “There’s a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen” is not a phrase you hear every day, and it certainly won’t leave your head after you hear it. And don’t worry; things only get better from here!

Believe me Eve she gave good reason Booty looking too good not to be squeezin' Creamy beaver hotter than a fever I'm a givin' 'cause she's the receiver I won't and I don't hang up until I please her Makin' her feel like an over achiever I take it away for a minute just to tease her Then I give it back a little bit deeper

So I don’t know what could be expected, but Sir Psycho plowing the Biblical Eve is probably not the sort of thing you could imagine when first popping in to listen to this song. When you take into account his ancient nature from the first verse and the fact he’s got his boner dripping blood in Eden in the first few lines of verse two, this is really the only logical next step though. The real question here is, is Sir Psycho supposed to be Adam, or has Sir Psycho tied up Adam to watch as he busts in Eve more times than should be humanly possible? If he’s “Makin’ her feel like an over achiever,” I’ve gotta imagine he’s not stopping after round one, two, or even three. I do like the detail that Sir Psycho won’t give up until he pleases her; it’s very cool and considerate that he cares enough about his lover to ensure her satisfaction too.

I got stopped by a lady cop In my automobile She said get out and spead your legs And then she tried to cop a feel

Verse three begins with an extremely sad case of police brutality and sexual assault. Poor Sir Psycho was just driving along, minding his own business, when he’s pulled over for no crime whatsoever; the cop just wanted to fondle him. These lyrics really say a lot about our society, and the state of the police force in America when even gorgeous immortal studs aren’t safe from the pigs.

That cop she was all dressed in blue Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you She stuck my butt with her big black stick I said, "What's up?" now suck my dick

Some interesting tidbits of information here: Sir Psycho enjoys being pegged, and he has a death wish. What kind of absolute madman says that to a cop that has them at his mercy? Does he really think he can turn the tab--

Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand On her crotch so very warm I could feel her getting wet through her uniform Proppin' her up on the black and white Unzipped and slipped, "Ooh, that's tight" I swatted her like no swat team can Turned a cherry pie right into jam

Are we sure this man is Anthony Kiedis and not British Prime Minister David Cameron? Cuz he sure does like fucking pigs! Sir Psycho, with his ancient pornomancy powers, takes “fuck the police” to a whole new level, completely turning around whatever situation he’d gotten himself into.

And now we get a shift in the instrumentation, and the lyrics kind of mellow out and almost feel a little romantic(at least in a 90s funk rock way):

Hello young woman that I love Pretty punk rock mama that I'm thinking of Hold me naked if you will In your arms in your legs in your pussy I'd kill To be with you, to kiss with you, I do miss you I love you Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Descending waves of graceful pleasure For your love there is no measure Her curves they bend with subtle splendor

This part genuinely feels so tender and, while it is extremely horny, Sir Psycho seems especially reverent of this woman, this amazing “punk rock mama.” I kind of think this segment pulls the entire song together, giving us a brief respite from the more overt sexuality and into something that genuinely sounds sweet, albeit in a decidedly horny sort of way.

Of course, we soon get back to Sir Psycho’s usual escapades in the final verse:

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the funk will make me freak If I should die before I waked Allow me Lord to rock out naked

And after this, we get kinky before wrapping up this song and heading to an extended instrumental outro:

Bored by the ordinary time to take a trip Calling up a little girl with a bull whip Lickety split go snap, snap Girl gettin' off all in my lap The tallest tree the sweetest sap Blowin' my ass right off the map Ooh and it's nice out here I think I'll stay for a while

So full disclosure, this really, genuinely is one of my favorite songs of all time, and perhaps my favorite RHCP song. It’s so audacious, in-your-face, and unabashedly horny, and in a day and age when people seem hellbent on removing sex from art, it’s nice to go back to a simpler, sluttier time and jam out. Is the length a bit excessive? Sure, probably, but length like this is all Sir Psycho is capable of.

The song is honestly not too dissimilar from the last song I reviewed, “Pregnant Pussy” by UGK… at least in terms of audacity. Where that song was trying to be as disgusting and depraved as possible to get a reaction from the listener, essentially being the nastiest troll song you’ll ever here, this song is just very upfront with its sheer horniness. It only barely eases you in, with the opening leading right into blasphemous boasting and dick blood, and it just never stops. It slows down a bit in a couple parts, but overall it really is just an unrelenting force. The song’s length isn’t something you ever really feel, because it just goes from one dirty lyric to the next.

But I think the most important thing the song does is remind us we all have a little Sir Psycho Sexy inside us, and we all have been standing the garden of Eden with our hard on’s bleeding while there were devils in our dick and demons in our semen. Maybe the real dick devils were the friends we made along the way.

[mikuni14]

The Sign - Ep 12

If you are a fan of The Sign and enjoyed the last episode, please do not read any further. Believe it or not, I don't want my negative opinion to affect your good mood 🤗

Okay, so I hated the finale 😆 The series ended exactly as I feared it would. With what was also the worst thing about the Last Twilight finale and why I hated CharlieBabe's relationship: namely, when one person call the shots in the relationship, makes all the decisions on their own, including the most drastic ones, and lies to the other a person "for their own good", and the series shows this as something positive and romantic. I hate these tropes, i.e. forced separations, fake deaths, making decisions for two without talking about it, and noble sacrifice without informing the other person about it. I hate showing it in a romantic light as the ultimate proof of love because it IS NOT proof of love. This only proves that 1) you don't trust the other person, 2) you don't believe that he or she is a rightful member of your relationship 3) you don't believe that you can talk to this person, that this person will help you, advise you, support you 4) you subconsciously question their intellectual and emotional abilities 5) you think that this person needs to be babied and you are the only adult in this relationship 6) this person does not deserve to make a decision in their OWN CASE, their OWN LIFE. Tharn decided to "save" Phaya and grandma by leaving with Chalathorn, he made the decision thinking what was best for them, but never considering IF THEY WANTED IT. The sight of grandma fainting, and later clutching her heart and losing strength as Phaya cries in the hospital scene, the sight of Phaya's utter despair as he is unable to function normally, go to work, live, who spends every waking moment looking for Tharn - yes, THIS is it the "life" that Tharn had so nobly sacrificed for. THARN NEVER EVEN THOUGHT TO ASK PHAYA AND GRANDMA IF THAT'S WHAT THEY WANTED. HE MADE THE DECISION FOR THEM, LIED TO THEM UNTIL THE LAST MOMENT AND LEFT THEM ALONE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.

What I ABSOLUTELY HATE is that Tharn has NEVER even wavered in his decision, even though Phaya MANY TIMES, including on their last night, tells him, begs him not to leave him and to trust him, that Phaya will always be by his side. And I also ABSOLUTELY HATE the fact that when Tharn returns, Phaya tries to explain to him how hard it was for him, what a traumatic experience it was for him, and Tharn doesn't even let him finish. How can I support such an unequal relationship? How could I trust Tharn if I were Phaya? Our Dating Sim showed how such separations affect people's mental health. However, Lee Wan realizes this and when Shin Ki Tae breaks down, he lets him talk about his fear and then comforts him. And he doesn't shut him up.

I admit I lost it when Tharn said to Phaya and Doc "Please stop killing each other" lmao what? Are you equating your boyfriend who had to fight for his life and the guy who tries to kill him in every incarnation, including when he is still a child? What about this sick symmetry? 😆 Of course, nothing compares to the fact that Tharn stayed with Chalathorn for a whole year because he felt sorry for him, while his grandmother (the heart-clutching one, you know which one) may have had a heart attack, and both she and Phaya are in agony and losing their health ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I loved Tharn, he was my favorite character in The Sign. And in the end he became the worst.

What was really funny was that in the end, NOTHING depended on Tharn and Phaya, it was Chalathorn - a murderer, manipulator and kidnapper - who made them happy 😄 And finally, they even thanked him and Phaya promised him to take care of Tharn, as if the doctor were the father of the lovely girl, who was being given away for marriage. Just kill me now 👌 Their love turned out to be completely pointless, because everything was decided by CHALATHORN, and everything related to their relationship took place offscreen and was actually a result of coincidence. Chalathorn even gave life to Tharn, gave him his soul. Thus proving that Phaya was useless to Tharn. Amazing 👌 Their love is based on fear, death, and separations and making the same mistakes, instead of taking action together, trust, faithfulness to each other, and mutual support. In their relationship, only Phaya makes an effort, I stopped feeling Tharn's love a long time ago. Tharn has always just surrendered to what is BAD happening around him (because Tharn/Wansa always surrenders to Chalathorn, not relies on Phaya/Garuda). The worst thing is that Tharn from the beginning of the series WAS NOT LIKE THAT 😤

THE POINT OF THIS SERIES WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THAT THIS TIME PHAYA AND TAHRN WOULD OVERCOME KARMA TOGETHER. They were to break this cycle with precise instructions from the abbot. Not only did they not overcome it, but they repeated it exactly to the letter. This raises the question: what was the point of all this, if Phaya and Tharn repeated the cycle of love, despair and death and got out of it thanks to someone else's decision? Is this a series then… about Chalathorn? 😂 HOW CAN I SUPPORT THIS RELATIONSHIP AND BELIEVE IN THIS LOVE WHEN ULTIMATELY NOTHING DEPENDED ON THEM AND THEY DID NOTHING TO SAVE THEMSELVES AND SAVE THIS LOVE. Oh, by "they" I meant Tharn.

What else was weird:

how is it that Doc is suddenly so sacrificial and willing to let Tharn go when he was willing to destroy his own soul just to kill Phaya and take Tharn like 5 min ago???

where are the Chart scenes? Khem and Thongthai?

random scene with Phaya's sister and Dao who is in France? Anyone interested in this?? So there was time for THIS, but not for Chalathorn and Tharn?

The finale otherwise had no emotional impact in the most important scenes:

Tharn joined the police to solve the mystery of his father's death, Akk had his entire agenda in this matter. However, after the killer is arrested (with Chalatorn's help lol) it doesn't feel like it has any major impact on either of them

Chart almost died. He didn't even deserve a single scene with Akk, who would thank him or just talk to him (I don't care about it, just to close this thread)

Khem almost died. We only see him once more after that. He's fine 🤷‍♀️

there are no scenes of Tharn reuniting with Yai, grandmother, or even the abbot

the sex scene is boring, repetitive, with weird music at the beginning that doesn't match the mood, the sight of them kneeling on the bed with pixelated butts, their dicks touching, with their pants around their knees is nothing but ridiculous. The whole scene is overshadowed by the fact that Tharn is lying to Phaya, that he's giving him something nice before he leaves (pity fuck) and taking fond memories with him (selfish fuck), and basically we all know it's a goodbye fuck. That is, everyone knows except Phaya, who, like Babe and Mhok, is oblivious at this point and happy to have it all taken away from him by someone he loves.

Actually, the last time this show was nice was when they still called each other bolster and jellyfish 😄 Also, if I'm not mistaken, all but one of the flashbacks in this episode were from episodes 1-5, plus the sex scene from ep. 7. Because back then the series was still good and it was about PhayaTharn. How could such a perfect series fuck up so much?

What was good about the finale? Just like in Last Twilght: the hets. Thank you Yai for being there and maintaining your integrity from start to finish 💖

To sum up:

I love The Sign ep 1-5 and the pink scene

I don't like The Sign ep 8-11

I hate the finale (I won't even write about how two weeks ago the finale with an unhappy ending was shown for free for peasants, and for money you could watch the finale with a good ending lol).

Everything that was wrong with The Sign is summed up in these words:

LMAAAAAOOOOOOO 😂😂😂

[butterflydm]

wot reread: the gathering storm (prologue - chapter 6)

spoilers through the gathering storm.

Okay, here we go. Ready to head into the last three books. My own memory of reading these books should not necessarily be trusted, lol, as I have learned with my reread as a whole and how different many of my opinions & beliefs are from what they were before. Some things were confirmed for me (yep, Tuon was a huge waste of potential) but other things were contradicted (nope, Mat is not a Bad Friend like he gets represented by much of fandom, but has been incredibly loyal throughout the series, even after Rand kinda starts being an asshole to him). So this will be interesting for me, to see how much I may have remembered or forgotten.

1. So this first section of the prologue seems mostly about setting up the Bad Vibes that are coming with the Last Battle. A farmer in the Borderlands sees strange clouds, has a vision, and decides it’s time to turn his scythe into a weapon (along with other people around him). I assume this is Rand being unwittingly ta’veren at people en masse, inspiring them to head north to help with the Last Battle (though that begs... several questions).

2. *sigh* Once again, we are all about being inside the slavers’ heads and not caring about the slaves. Next PoV section is a sul’dam. I am just... tired of sul’dam at this point. Okay, anyway, they’re freaking out because their damane have been shielded by Rand. This is apparently an extension of Rand’s ending scene in KoD, from the PoV of one of the sul’dam of that battle, because she talks about Rand losing his hand and then “picking it up like a glove”. I’m gonna try to get past my now-instinctive annoyance with all things Seanchan and see if I can figure out the purpose of this scene.

3. “The promise of freedom might be part of some scheme” seems like such a twisted line to put into the mouth of a slaver, just saying. “Freedom” for her but not for the women that she views as tools and pets.

4. Again it is so frustrating that Nynaeve doesn’t spill the sul’dam secret here, just like it was frustrating at the end of Knife of Dreams! She wants to heal the injured damane, she hates that Rand is sending them back into slavery, so why is she giving a helping hand to the Seanchan Empire by not spilling the damn sul’dam secret to the Dragon Reborn? And the sul’dam likely wouldn’t even believe her, at least not now, so it’s not like the actual scene would change that much! (but Rand would believe her and then maybe he would have some options) Jordan was stacking the deck as hard in favor of the Seanchan as possible and he also just HATED anyone sharing useful information with Rand ever, at any time.

5. Yeah, this scene was definitely written by Jordan because I’m getting just as pissed off about Rand’s storyline as I was at the end of Knife of Dreams, lol. I feel like I could have guessed this scene was by Jordan even if I didn’t already know, because I am so annoyed at Nynaeve carrying around the Idiot Ball of protesting against Rand’s decision but not giving him any reasons to make a different one, even though SHE KNOWS THINGS that he doesn’t know. This is definitely Jordan’s CoT/KoD energy. Just. Talk to Rand. About the actionable information that you have! Rather than refusing because Women Only Talk About Important Things To Women and Men Only Talk About Important Things To Men. I am hitting you with a pillow in my head, Nynaeve. Please know that.

6. ...what the actual fuck. Rand is completely letting the Seanchan off the hook for being terrible and blaming everything on Semirhage (”I rest more easily, now”). What the fuck? They are still SLAVERS, Rand. Anyway, he talks here about how he MUST have peace which... I’ve talked about this before but giving Rand this attitude kinda completely nullifies any plot need for Mat to marry Tuon. Rand is already prepared to roll over for the Seanchan, with no need for a marriage tie to convince him. The Mat-Tuon marriage is just so completely pointless in every possible way, because Rand was willing to bend regardless and ready to hand Tuon the keys to the kingdom, essentially.

7. ...have I mentioned recently that I really hate the direction that Jordan decided to go with the Seanchan in CoT & KoD? Man, it was such an intense and interesting storyline with fascinating (though horrific) throughlines all the way through Winter’s Heart, and then Jordan salted the cake instead of using sugar and now the whole storyline is just... inedible and deserves nothing but being tossed in the trash.

8. On the plus side, the sul’dam doesn’t think about the male a’dam even once, so it’s possible that Semirhage actually DID duplicate them herself and Rand was able to confiscate her entire stash, leaving none for Slaver Overlord back in Ebou Dar. On the minus side... everything else in this scene.

9. Oh, it’s Tylee. Perrin’s slaver BFF and the person that he sold 200+ women to. If you’ll recall from Knife of Dreams, he’s chill that she’s a slaver because she was nice to him personally and helped him out, so he didn’t care about what she might be doing to anyone else because slavery is just too hard to fight, y’all. Perrin Aybara: moral integrity of swiss cheese. Anyway, it’s been two weeks, Tylee’s missing her BFF and hoping she doesn’t have to face him across a battlefield later on; echoes of Mat & Tuon lol. Oh, yeah, and the hauntings that Elayne & her people were experiencing in Knife of Dreams (I think) are affecting the Seanchan now too. It is a little funny that, because of when they landed, Tylee & lots of the Seanchan just think that the Westlands is a place where food rots really really quickly, not knowing that it’s the Dark One’s touch.

10. Oh, nice the Seanchan army gets attacked by Trollocs! Sweet move by the Dark One. I approve. This is like when the gholam killed Tylin. I can’t imagine why I would possibly be upset that the invading slaver army is getting killed off by the ‘bad guys’. Theory time: before Jordan decided to go all-in on alliances, turning the Seanchan army into chaos makes sense as to where he was potentially planning to go with them, at least for me? We’ve seen the results of a complete breakdown of society among the Aiel, and seeing that begin among the Seanchan as a result of the sul’dam secret being openly revealed would have a great deal of sense as a plotline, and it would have taken them out of the equation so that Rand wasn’t fighting battles on two fronts. There’s not really any need for the Seanchan troops to bolster the Westland troops in the Last Battle -- the Dark One literally only has as many people/Shadowspawn fighting on its side as the author decides. That’s a completely flexible number.

idk idk, it’s hard to say where Jordan was planning to go with the plotline originally except it feels like he radically changed his mind between Winter’s Heart and Crossroads of Twilight.

11. Checking in with Graendal. Let’s see... her deal was that she was sowing chaos by sending very bad orders to Ituralde by pretending they were from his king, and then Moridin snatched her up and said she had to work for him now. This section essentially works as a catch-up on the Plot Thus Far from the Forsaken’s point of view. Okay, the purpose of the Forsaken gathering is that Mesaana and Demandred want to rescue Semirhage from Rand. Demandred seems to care more about getting to Lews Therin/Rand than actually saving Semirhage, though. Anyway, Moridin is pissed off (his hand hurts lol) and tells them that they are absolutely NOT to rescue Semirhage under any circumstances. After Mesaana and Demandred leave, he lets Graendal know that Rand is going to Arad Doman and that she must make certain that he does not establish peace there (but don’t hurt him or kill him).

12. Oh, nice, Ituralde pulled a reverse Trojan Horse on the Seanchan army that was going after him. (this is the... northern front of the Seanchan? The northwestern front?) Though, honestly, it’s almost frustrating to see him still doing so well when I know his PASSIONATE AND SINCERE DEFENSE OF HIS HOME ends up getting cut off at the knees because We Must Ally With The Slavers At All Costs. I bet if someone told Ituralde about the sul’dam secret, he’d have been able to do something useful with it.

13. Sanderson gets rid of the first of many dangling plot threads by having Faile unceremoniously kill Masema rather than dragging that story out any longer. Good for her, etc. Done and dusted. I do have to laugh a little bit about Faile telling everyone not to tell Perrin, because Perrin can sell two hundred women into slavery but isn’t willing to kill a man who has created a murderous cult (despite being fully willing to kill people at other times). I mean, that does track with how he behaved in the last few books.

14. And now we are out of the prologue and into the main story, starting with a Rand PoV. We pick up with him in Arad Doman, where he can feel that Aviendha is getting closer. I find it... somewhat sad that this section here is the first time we’ve really gotten Rand thinking in depth on the bonding, at least from what I recall. Elayne bonded Rand with the three of them back in Winter’s Heart and we NEVER got Rand’s emotional reaction to that (or his emotional reaction to sleeping with Elayne!). He notes their worry and thinks that he can’t regret letting them bond him, even though he should. And he thinks about how he’s ‘using’ Min here, which is a very interesting tie-in (for me) to his regrets about ‘using’ Mat back in The Fires of Heaven (Min has sometimes superficially felt like “a Mat that Rand is allowed to sleep with” at times, in terms of how she’s been treated in the story -- lots of knives, has protested they aren’t a hero, treated as an emotional connection to Rand’s past, though that feels a lot more honest for Mat than Min). In terms of the “Min forcing herself into a pleasing mold for Rand” watch, we learn that she’s recently taken to bathing with lavender soaps. Rand notes that he finds it somewhat odd that Min dresses up her trousers & shirts with lace... which is hilarious, because she’s literally only doing it for him and his internal thought on it is “???”. Hey, Min. Maybe if you. Maybe if you had a conversation with Rand about your relationship, you’d find out that he liked you just fine the way you were, before you started making yourself miserable and dolling yourself up for him every day. Just a thought.

15. It’s so hilarious that Min manages to sound jealous when talking about how Rand is thinking about Semirhage, the Forsaken who is currently his prisoner. She’s got a gift. “You’re thinking about her again.” I would have respected Min so much more as a character if she’d just shanked Semirhage herself and then dealt with the fallout of how that affected her relationship with Rand. Honestly, what is the point of all her hidden knives if NOT to kill someone unexpectedly. But Min is very much a reactive/passive character when it comes to plot beats, so she just worries uselessly instead and damsels around the place.

16. He takes a moment to think about Elayne and what he can sense of her emotions from this far away -- he thinks that she’s relieved, which makes him hope that she’s won the throne, or closer to it. Okay, at this point in time, Rand is thinking about how he needs to make a truce with the Seanchan for the Last Battle but ��after that, the Light could burn them all”. So Rand isn’t currently operating under any kind of belief at this point that the Seanchan aren’t worth fighting. He actually.. and I’m curious if this is from Jordan’s notes or if this bit was pre-written or if it’s all Sanderson, because I don’t think Jordan ever has Rand think about this clearly in the earlier books, but here it’s clear that the reason Rand believes full-bore that he MUST have peace with the Seanchan is because of what the ‘Finn told him (honestly, between this and Mat’s marriage prophecy, the ‘Finn carried a lot of water for the Seanchan -- I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that 'Finn, some of whom wear human skin, are fans of slavers, lol). That does make his choice here more understandable -- Rand has been prophecy-obsessed for books -- but it still means that Mat’s marriage is completely pointless from a narrative or tactical standpoint, lol. I wonder if that’s why Jordan decided to go for a ~romance~ angle for Mat? Because he realized that he’d voided out the narrative and tactical reasons, but the prophecy was already out there in the text, so he kinda had to figure out a new angle?

17. Hey. Hey, Min. You also know the sul’dam secret. You’ve been hanging out with Rand since Lord of Chaos and banging him since A Crown of Swords, and are really the one person who has most intimately witnessed how incredibly difficult this entire war against the Seanchan has been for him and how he’s failed at trying to stop them... could you maybe give him some useful information between all the sex? Maybe take a break from telling Rand’s secrets to Cadsuane and tell the Seanchan’s secrets to Rand instead. Just a thought.

18. Next up is Egwene, and serving Elaida this night at dinner. Ah, the first sentence is a reminder of all the corporal punishment that happens at the White Tower. And we can’t even blame this on Elaida, because the White Tower was like this before, and back twenty years ago in New Spring. And the Wise Ones are like this too. This was very much a Jordan thing (likely carried over from how he ‘learned’ at the Citadel). Note that even Egwene doesn’t think that beating your students is actually a bad thing in any way. She sees herself still crying when she gets beaten as a personal weakness that she needs to train out of herself, but thinks that Silviana is just ~doing her duty~ when she beats people to the point of tears.

19. Egwene is doing her best to point out the dissent and cracks that already exist in the Tower as a result of Elaida’s leadership, and feels like she’s getting through to people. Egwene is still getting forkroot every day, and almost always has two Red Ajah Sisters as ~guards~, specifically Katerine and Barasine, it sounds like, who are part of the group who captured her originally. Egwene has also been doing what she can to remind the Tower of Elaida’s ‘failures’ (like not successfully capturing Rand, and the failure of her force that was sent to subdue to the Black Tower). We also learn that the Dark One’s touch is increasing here too, with hallways shifting locations and now an actual tapestry changing to be more violent and bloody. Egwene has learned the wisdom of not stretching herself too thin - “ You scrubbed a floor clean by first picking a single spot and getting to work”.

20. As Egwene is arriving Elaida’s quarters, a ‘haunted’ Gray Sister is leaving. Is this the ‘ferret’ sent from Salidar who got commandered by the Black Ajah hunters and blackmailed into honeytrapping Elaida?

21. lol, the Amrylin’s quarters that Egwene imagines that Siuan must have had sound way more ~spy-focused~ than I remember Siuan’s quarters actually being. She had the one box that was set to destroy important papers if anyone else opened it, I think, and then just simple furnishings for the rest.

22. Egwene being certain that she would have taken Green (which is also the Ajah she pretended to be in Cairhien) -- honestly, would not pick that Ajah for her and it really feels like it’s left-over from Jordan basically deciding that Green is the Liking Men Ajah and Red is the Hating Men Ajah and everyone else is chopped liver, lol. Egwene just does not vibe Green for me at all! Brown for love of learning, White for finding legal loopholes, or Blue for ~vibes~ and dedicating herself to a cause all seem like they would suit her better. But she wants to marry the man she’d like to take as a Warder so... Green it is.

23. Oh, yeah, the Gray sister is Meidani, and Egwene recognizes her name as belonging to one of the ‘ferrets’, and Egwene is here to be Elaida’s server at her dinner date with poor Meidani, who deserved better than being blackmailed into spending time with Elaida. Egwene notes that Meidani looks terrified! (does Elaida not notice Meidani’s fear because she’s self-centered or does she enjoy it because she’s sadistic? the question of the hour. Ah, soon answered. She’s enjoying Meidani’s fear).

24. When Meidani mentions that some Sisters are worrying over the Seanchan (a worry that Elaida dismisses), we get a vivid reminder from Egwene’s memories of how hellish her experience with the Seanchan was and how monstrous they are to women who can channel -- she STILL gets PTSD flashbacks from her time in the collar and has not-too-deeply-buried trauma from it. I genuinely wish I could go back in time and get Jordan to answer some pointed questions about what the POINT of all this was? It’s so weird to me that the ‘boys’ and the ‘girls’ are being given such RADICALLY different vibes in their respective Seanchan-related interactions, starting in Crossroads of Twilight (Mat’s vibes with them are pretty horror-based in Winter’s Heart). Was it meant to be a critique on how so-called ‘good’ people are actually sometimes willing to support evil as long as the evil doesn’t hit close enough to home? But the evil SHOULD have been hitting close enough to home, at least for Rand and Mat, because Mat and Rand both care deeply about specific women who can channel! Mat grew up with Egwene & Nynaeve; he had a whole book about becoming friends with Elayne; he knows that his little sister can channel! Rand is literally IN LOVE with two women who can channel! Just... ???

25. Egwene blames Elaida here for everything that’s gone wrong and... eh. Elaida IS a bad leader but she was put into place as an unwitting puppet by the Black Ajah (so she foils/mirrors both Egwene and Rand -- Rand worries a lot in the early books that he will be turned into a puppet, and Egwene was raised to Amyrlin Seat with the intention of being used as a puppet), so removing Elaida might help a bit, but removing the Black Ajah would help more.

26. I like Egwene’s moment with Meidani here a lot -- she reassures her, gives her something solid to stand on to give her a bit of courage, validates the trauma that Meidani has undergone during her time back in the White Tower. This is a really good little moment here, that shows Egwene as a genuinely good leader. And I also like Egwene using deep breathing to help herself calm her own anger.

27. Serving Elaida at dinner has changed Egwene’s focus -- it’s more important (in her PoV) to keep her attention on holding the Tower together rather than removing Elaida from power, as she believes that Elaida will overreach and remove herself from power. I mean, again... I kinda gotta give Egwene an “eh” on this analysis too. Elaida has been able to force a LOT of things into being that go against Tower custom, so I’m not so sure as Egwene is that she would eventually just go ‘too far’ and get pulled down by the Hall.

28. It’s interesting to me that Rand laughing in the box during Lord of Chaos was meant to mark an internal ‘breaking’ point for him & LTT but Egwene laughing while being beaten is meant to mark an internal ‘breakthrough’ (in a positive way). Honestly not sure what it means in the narrative tbh. It’s positioned here as Egwene finally understanding what embracing pain means (as the Aiel say to do).

29. We go from Egwene Thinking Like An Aiel (TM) to an Aviendha chapter. Aw, it’s sweet that Aviendha is trying to see the Domani refugees from Elayne’s perspective and not just her own. We also once again here have the vibe of Rand-Elayne-Aviendha being one complete relationship (with Rand-Min being a completely separate relationship). That’s really the vibe that Rafe needs to break down in order to make the four-person relationship not feel like a harem. Because here, Aviendha thinks about how she plans to marry Rand with Elayne and doesn’t spare a single thought for Min (and why would she, tbh? she’s met Min ONCE). But it’s just so weird that there’s a narrative expectation that Aviendha and Elayne need to be close and be first-sisters in order to both be with Rand, but Min can do whatever and is never touched by the limits or cultural rules that bind other people or even by Rand’s own protectiveness. Min doesn’t need to be Aviendha’s first-sister; Min doesn’t fall under the category of “avoid her to protect her”. That contributes both to the harem vibes of Min being a completely separate relationship, and also to the vibes of Min being a plot device instead of a character that other people might actually interact with and have expectations about.

30. Honestly, this whole song-and-dance about how Aviendha can’t approach Rand until she ~earns honor~ just feels kinda silly. Rand, Aviendha, Elayne, and Min all CONFESSED THEIR LOVE and BONDED. She is INSIDE HIS HEAD. It’s just plain silly that she’s been moved into Rand’s plotline and proceeds to completely avoid him (and equally silly that Rand just passively allows Aviendha to avoid him while having sex with Min every night... sadly, it’s completely in character for Min to jealously hoard Rand. So far, Min has had one moment of selflessness in this entire relationship and, even then, she ended up being the person who has benefited the most from bonding Rand). This is a place where I do think that Jordan might have written things differently, simply because it makes zero sense to send Rand, Aviendha, & Min all to Arad Doman if it’s not to actually forge together that specific neglected side of the relationship. Aviendha and Min should be bonding! Rand and Aviendha should be spending time together (including sex! Aviendha doesn’t have hang-ups about sex before marriage and now things are good with Elayne, so it should be go time). Aviendha going to the place where Rand is only to not hang out with Rand at all is... just a bizarre narrative choice (especially when we get to The Event later on; at that point it’s ridiculous that Aviendha wouldn’t come running).

31. Okay, as the Aiel approach the place where Rand is, Amys... sort of grills Aviendha, and we get this weird “Min will be easy to work with/we will reach accommodation” conversation where they feel more like they’re going to be business partners than sharing in a romantic relationship with the same person. Again, yeah, it’s just so weird that Min exists in this odd bubble all on her own. Aviendha believed that she and Elayne NEEDED to be first-sisters in order to share Rand, but Min is just... idk, going to be over there somewhere, I guess. I do like Aviendha’s semi-annoyed thoughts that she loves Rand because of HER choice, not because of Min’s viewing. This is a major reason why I like Aviendha’s relationship with Rand more than Min’s with Rand. Min-Rand (and, of course, Mat-Tuon) is very much “prophecy first and then force the love to happen by brainwashing yourself into it because you don’t think you have a choice” and I’m... not into that vibe, essentially.

32. I like the actual tone and vibe of Aviendha’s PoV here -- I just feel like it should have been followed up with actual Rand-Aviendha interactions in this book. This PoV itself actually vibes really well with Egwene’s last PoV and I definitely see why they decided to place them next to each other.

33. Oh, hey, @markantonys - I’m at your boy’s first PoV chapter in this book! lol, anyway, Gawyn is watching some of the... rebels’ army? It sounds like. I’m pretty sure he has zero clue that Egwene has been captured by the White Tower. Pretty sure he’s on an information diet. Gawyn does know that the general he’s faced against here is Gareth Bryne. Gawyn is struggling with his duty. Gawyn really is... he kinda is one of the purest examples of someone who is actually faced with what we’re constantly told Rand is bringing to everyone everywhere -- the emotional turmoil and chaos amid breaking old ties and forging new ones. Because Gawyn thinks here that Bryne ‘should’ be with Elayne in Caemlyn, then immediately asks himself, well, where should I be?

34. This actually continues the theme from Egwene through Aviendha and now to Gawyn -- so far, we’ve had a series of characters considering themselves, their duty, their honor, and their strengths. Questioning the foundations of what they know about themselves. Egwene ‘finds’ herself through embracing pain and dedicating herself to her duty; Aviendha wonders why the Wise Ones treat her as if she has no honor; Gawyn thinks here -- he wasn’t certain he had duty, or honor, left to him.

35. Anyway, I’m glad that Gawyn has slowed down enough to give himself a chance to actually, um. Think. His duty is to Elayne and Egwene, he thinks here, so why is he on the side that is opposed to them? SUCH a good question, Gawyn. He’s thinking through why Elaida might have put him here, outside the city, when his Younglings can’t possibly actually make a dent in the rebels’ army. The gears in his head are turning! Genuinely, I am very pleased, lol. Will of the Amrylin or not, this was a deathtrap. Argh, no, after all that thinking and questioning, he rides back to his camp. GAWYN. YOU WERE SO CLOSE.

36. Rand next. “What he wanted no longer mattered.” Hmm. Rand is thinking about this in the context of how he is constantly surrounded by Aes Sedai these days but. Hmm. Rand thinks about Mat, as you do, and is given a vision of Mat dicing. Rand hopes that they will be reunited soon. I am stabbing the narrative with shearing scissors.

37. So, Rand is currently hanging out with Bashere. Whose wife was almost killed recently. And who then agreed to talk to a mysterious person because his wife almost died. I’m just putting that out there.

38. I genuinely loved Rand’s conversation with Harine here. It felt like it had give-and-take, though we can see how Rand is definitely on the edge of exhaustion and impatient, and it’s nice to have a Sea Folk character who is actually having a conversation with someone instead of just trying to browbeat them. He asks her how the Atha’an Miere handle men who can channel and then (when he finds out that, unsurprisingly, it’s a death sentence, either immediate or somewhat lingering) tries to talk to her about saidin being clean now and how that means that the way people treat male channelers needs to be changed. Literally! Why did it take so long for any conversations about this to happen in the books? Why was Rand just lazing around for two books post-cleansing when he could have been doing PR like this? Again, yeah, I really like this conversation! He believes he’s going to die at Shayol Ghul, so he’s not doing this for himself. He’s doing this for the other men who are like him, and all the ones who will follow. This is a really good moment. And we can see the turmoil (and the LTT memories!) in Rand in this moment, as he tries to convince her that saidin is clean and that more men don’t need to die to protect the world (just him). And it feels like we’re really getting into his head so far, re: LTT’s memories and him thinking about the bonding earlier.

39. Literally this chapter of Rand’s PoV has been TUGGING at my HEARTSTRINGS. Rand worrying that his death will lead to destruction and turmoil among the nations because he’s strung them so tightly together! Regretting that he didn’t help the world during the last breaking because he was so consumed by what he’d done and his grief and guilt over Ilyena! Rand worried about men who can channel still facing hatred and death sentences! Rand talking with Elza (lol) and Corele about the taint being gone and yet people not acting as if it is and Corele being frank and honest but also KIND with him. And we ARE still on theme from the previous three chapters -- duty is heavier than a mountain. Rand thinks here about how duty binds him as tightly as prophecy does. And Rand’s thoughts here on wanting to leave the world a better place very much echo Egwene’s thoughts on how she wants to focus on holding the White Tower together and rebuilding it rather than being arrow-focused on bringing down Elaida. Your duty is to the future and not the past.

40. I don’t care about Semirhage’s interrogation by Cadsuane because Semirhage should have just been killed at the end of Knife of Dreams. Things in the section that I DO care about -- how is Merise and Narishma’s relationship as Aes Sedai & bonded Asha’man going? Oooh, Cadsuane feels like Merise is ~flaunting~ having an Asha’man Warder. Going well, then? Seems to be going well enough.

41. See, I do like Ituralde’s PoV sections but... they should have been Mat’s. MAT should be the main general/soldier PoV that we see. Mat should never have been yeeted off into the Seanchan storyline; it’s just been so ill-fitting and annoying, and Jordan had to introduce a new PoV character just to give us the “war sucks” kind of storyline that Mat’s memories and situation were literally invented to give us. Mat just... every time he leaves a storyline, he leaves such big holes that require MULTIPLE people to try to patch up and fill. When he left Rand, he needed to be replaced by both Bashere and Min. When he left Elayne, there was a whole completely random army and ~dashing commander~ who showed up who had never been mentioned before to fill the spot in her plotline that would have been better suited to Mat & the Band. And Mat should have been the general fighting AGAINST the Seanchan and coming up with clever tactics against them, not the court jester capering for the slaver overlord’s disdainful amusement. Endless, ENDLESS sighs over the direction that Jordan decided to go with Mat’s plotline.

42. “Abandoning ones’ homeland to invaders... well, Ituralde couldn’t do that. Not even if the fight was impossible to win.” Honor and duty, even onto death. The theme continues. The note here, “the ravens had begun” (their work of eating the carrion of the battlefield) - perhaps is the reason that Jordan decided to make the Seanchan’s main symbol the same as the Shadow’s - the Prince of Ravens is the prince of the butcher’s bill after a battle (which possibly also leads into another name). 

(to borrow the question Gawyn asked himself -- where is YOUR honor, Mat? where is your duty? It’s not in the arms of the woman who invaded your homeland, despises your friends, would enslave your family. Cords of duty and prophecy but, while in Rand’s case, both prophecy and duty drag him towards Shayol Ghul, in Mat’s case, they each pull in opposite directions. Duty, loyalty, and honor say that he should be by Rand’s side during the Last Battle. Prophecy demands he abandon his homeland to allow it to be ripped apart by the ravens. So, Mat, why does your prophecy ask that you abandon duty, loyalty and honor... and why do you allow yourself to follow that prophecy when it tells you to sacrifice everything to the blood-soaked avatar of war and death? where is your duty, Mat Cauthon?)

43. lol, I feel like this bit here with Leane and Egwene is Sanderson poking at one of Jordan’s oddities/kinks -- “Odd, how a novice to be instructed could be beaten but a prisoner to be interrogated could not.” IT REALLY IS, Sanderson. It really is. (I mean, it could be Jordan poking fun at himself but. It kinda vibes like someone else) Anyway, the Weird Relocations caused by the Dark One are increasing. That’s the main thing in this section.

Notes for this section: it’s confirmed in Sanderson’s retrospective that the first two parts of the prologue -- the farmer and the sul’dam -- were written by Jordan.

[infintesimoon]

annual rewatch

twilight.

-I've never really noticed how many little details there are just in the opening act. CH really went all fucking out

all the students turning to watch Bella walk by on the first day

the fucking mumble of "No one appreciates the onion" Mr. molina does after the class laughs at the golden onion trophy (I fuckin love this onion)

the Cullen crest try and necklaces and rings, etc. (tight as fuck) ((tho it kinda worryingly makes me question if the non beta-read version of the 50 Shades OG fanfic had a branding scene, tbh))

** addendum, the second day diner scene: the waitress has a shamrock necklace and is very broken up about Waylon's death and I just wanted to point that out, given his kiss me im irish shirt and also!! their earlier exasperated-carer-of-beloved-idiot and said-beloved-idiot vibes in the first diner scene.

- "it's the fluorescents"

maybe edward is such a bad liar because normally he can just look into the other persons mind and see exactly how effective it is at any given moment. or, more likely, simply see what the person most likely assumes or would be open to believing, and he just leans into it hard. trying to make it up from scratch is hard.

which is why he says the whole "adrenaline rush" line with such a fuckin weird fave and tone I'm assuming.

- I want a golden onion. that is all.

- the fact that Waylon's kiss me I'm irish shirt is now Victoria's....

- Donate to the Quileute Tribe's Move to Higher Ground effort.

-I WAS TODAY YEARS DUMB WHEN I REALIZEX ALICE IS THE PITCHER CUZ SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TIME IT PERFECTLY WITH THE THUNDER!

this does raise the concerning question of whether or not this Makes No Sense (TM) as I'm like 67% certain that she can only see decided futures? Who decides when the thunder happens? does this imply Thor is real? or that Perun had been killed once again by Veles? or what? is this an example of definite futures set in stone? or does she only know because she's seen all of this due to a vision about say, Carlisle, deciding they would play baseball today when he was watching the local weather station earlier today???

-edward is an idiot if I read the dudes kind and was like oh, he's a tracker, he wants to kill Bella, I would simply rally the family and commit murder then and there.

- I refuse to believe hurting Charlie this way was the only, not least of which the right, choice.

I hate this entire scene. Charlie loves Bella so much and the added earlier scene the Bella (a few days after her father's friend of 30 yes has died) told him that she likes being alone and "must get that from [him]"??!?! I am so missed. Charlie deserved better. he's also literally in grave danger due to his lack of knowledge I. the situation (he's hunting Victoria's coven, and has no clue, and literally Victoria gives a bitch a heart attack. Harry Clearwater I'm pretty sure?)

- what is the limit of Jasper's emotional manipulation power? exactly??

he seems overwhelmed when everyone is crowding Bella after the near crash with Tyler's van, but can't tell that Bella is anxious or planning something when she sneaks off to get to the ballet studio???

- it's hot when Alice rips James's head off.

I said what I said, that's all.

- JUST FUCKING LET . HER. TURN. U . DUMMY.

-Alternatively, CARLISLE YOU'VE HAD THE STRENGTH AND OR FULL TUMMY ENOUGH TO TURN LIKE 6 PEOPLE; THE FUCK WHY ARENT YOU THE ONE SUCKING OUT THE VENOM??? U TELLING ME THAT NONE OF UR FUCKING KIDS EVER TOOK A FIRST AID COURSE? ROSALIE HAS NEVER HAD HUMAN BLOOD SURELY SHE COULD DO THE FIRST AID BIT?

- Alice tossing herself thru a window is still the funniest fucking thing

- Why does edward's hoodie have no strings like he just got out of a pysch hold???????

- the codependency is real and icky

- I've been noticing it the entire movie but the poorly disguised 5 o'clock shadow that eddie boy permanently has etched onto his jaw is the most nonsense part of this whole fuckin thing.

- "... but 20 bucks is 20 bucks, "Jacob, agreeing to ominously threaten his friend.

-I, for one, refuse to believe that Alice doesn't regularly host house parties.

maybe the first few months no one showed up because she was the weird Alaska girl with the culty family and matching jewelry and the constipated boyfriend. I'm headcanoning that Alice has been planning parties for years, once a month, and then using her visions to pre-screen invite rsvp's and deciding not to because no one said yes.

now that I'm crying, let's continue.

- every time I consume twilight I think, huh, does Bella really love Edward, or just rhe mystery and idea of romanticized immortal bliss and opportunity that he represents. does edward love Bella? or is he just seeing the first challenge in decades, who happens to be witty and surprising and who he likes the smell of a lot, but wants to keep her human specifically because he wants the excitement of her being sort of this innocent untouched damsel in constant distress who he can watch sleep and gaslight into being his own personal Bella Novella.

-the fact that vistoria dressed up for their prom??? why??

she... she's in a separate building??? what was the point story wise? like, we g e t it, Rachel Lafevre is hot.

that is all

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

Hi ! This blog has one year. I don’t think this is gonna be very interesting for someone else, but I still wanted to make a recap post.

You’re more than 100, which is a number that lots of writing blogs can pull out in a month a lot more than zero, which is crazy.

The tragic backstory of this blog is that I’ve made it because I was incredibly burned out. Check the first post if you like. This was written by a guy who couldn’t take a deep breath without a long nap after. My first objective is not to ruin my health and take it as slow as possible, through gritted teeth.

I had a writer’s block, too. But if I am to believe the file where I put all my blog snippets...

Yeah. That took care of that. (For now, anyway.)

the typos the typos the typos so many typos aaaaaaaaaaah I’m so sorry - I really hope my English got better, but…

I love writing in English though. Perfectionists, try to write your story in your second language. Not only it’s cool – it’s the equivalent of saying “I’m not left-handed” in a duel – but you’re forced to go straight to the point. It helps !

It’s my playground. I don’t write to make good snippets, I try to make fun snippets. Viewing things that way helped a lot. If it doesn't have to be good, I’m free to experiment more.

Of all the things I’ve written here, ““Muahaha”, they said in a polite effort to keep the conversation alive” might be one of my favorite sentences. (From here)

Tags might be the greatest thing on this website. I cherish them. Obviously, I love reading yours, but I love writing mine too, giving you behind-the-scene comments and/or bullshit jokes. Sometimes it’s the first thing I write.

The first time I’ve ever tried to write second-person narration was on this blog. Apparently people don’t like it very much, but I think it’s pretty fun.

I am hilariously bad at guessing what you’ll like. I’m dead wrong almost every time.

Fun fact, These two dorks nearly never existed. I hated the first post featuring them, I thought it was awfully written and was ashamed of it. When I decided to finally post it, dozens of readers tugged my sleeve to say “we like this”. And I was baffled, but...sure. I kept on. I still don’t like this post, but I’m fond of the series now.

Chairs are the bane of my existence, so when I read lots and lots of snippets where people are forced to kneel because it’s submissive and stuff, my eyebrow lifts very high. Cue this snippet. Cue more than a hundred of readers tugging my sleeve to say “we like this”. S...sure ? Vampire Hero jumped into action.

Basically dear readers, though I’ve obviously done the work, without your support the reoccurring characters here would never have existed. Thank you.

Unfortunately it goes the other way, too. I’ve deleted a couple of things I was fond of but weren’t read (that’s one of the reasons why reblogging is important btw). I’m very fond of detectives and I wanted to write a series featuring a detective/thief, but since I’ve only had a bunch of notes for these snippets, I’ve set aside the project. Maybe one day ?

Tumblr is allergic to names, but most of the recurring characters actually have one.

My fantasy snippets are not read much, but they’re still fun to make. I’m not going to stop them. I’m grateful for the H/V community but it’s never gonna be 100% what I make.

Have I told you how much I love notes and tags and comments ? People who interacted in any way, people who liked dozens of snippets in one go, people who reblogged and even took the time and effort to write tags or a comment, people who left asks, you are noticed and appreciated.

Lurkers, I don’t begrudge you. I was one of you for years and years and years. I’d love to hear from you one day, but if not it’s okay. I know how hard and overwhelming it can be to reach out.

I know, I’m a hypocrite. I don’t reblog enough myself – or interact altogether. It’s not you, it’s the lack of spoons. Truth is, since I had this blog, I read much less because my energy is taken elsewhere. Either I write either I read, it’s hard to do both.

I don’t follow you because I fucking hate the dashboard. I avoid looking at it as much as I can. It’s an overwhelming sea of information with 90% irrelevant posts and 10% that disappear when you want to find them again and it gives me a headache every time. Sorry! Again, it's not you! I should change that, but it’s gonna take some time.

Readers, I can’t thank you enough. This silly blog helped me so much. It helped with my writing and creative process in general, it helped me go through some pretty bad days. It’s such a comfort to know that real actual people around the world are willingly reading the stuff I’ve made. It’s an incredible feeling and I’m still not over this.

The first six months were great. I loved it. These six months, less. This site seems to get progressively worse. Maybe I should find a second Internet place (all suggestions are welcome. I know nothing about this kind of stuff.)

I don’t intent to go, though. I want to try many, many things. I can't tell you more in case I have another block or something, but there are projects, so- stay tuned?

[hismercytomyjustice]

Jesus Christ writing dance scenes is fucking HARD. I’m pretty happy with how they’re turning out but SWEET WOUNDED JESUS I am not a dancer and I know fuck all about it.

…god the amount of fucking research I have yet again done for a crack fic…

I say this like I should even be remotely surprised at this point. That train left the fucking station so fast it’s like it was never even in it.

Fucking hours and hours and hours of research.

And the worst part? I HAVE LOVED EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT.

One of the things I love most about researching (aside from having an excuse to seek out and hoard absolutely fucking pointless information) is that it always gives me so many fucking ideas that I then get to try to weave in.

I will be SO SAD when the research for this fic comes to an end. It has been SUCH A JOY.

That is until I fucking start on the even crack-ier part three.

Because I’ve already decided I’m writing more shit that is WILDLY self-indulgent and ~nobody~ can fucking stop me!!!! Write the stupid crack you wanna see in the world amirite?

Fuck I have the absolute STUPIDEST idea for a plot and scene for part three and that alone is driving me to keep going. I just need to finish part two so I can be FREE. I am SO CLOSE to being finished. I really hope I finally finish it tomorrow.

Honestly idk what people are gonna think of it. It’s my first attempt at writing from Alastor’s POV and I’m also doing some shit I’ve never done before that idk how people will respond to it. BUT NOTHING VENTURED NOTHING GAINED. And I’m so proud of it and tbh that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

…I still also gotta finish writing my BG3 fic to…BUT I have a few weeks of buffer on that so…. I’m feeling the urge to throw some more words down on it too, so hopefully I’ll be able to wrap it up soon. It is so fucking close to being done. Maybe another 15k-20k words. I can knock that out pretty quick if I get in the zone. And I already have it planned out. Jesus Christ is it gonna wind up being 100k??? SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF.

Fucking hell it has hit 90 subs tho and that is such a wild fucking number and it just blows me the fuck away. Like 90 people like this fic enough to want updates as it comes out?! FUCKING FOR REAL?! There are N I N E T Y people out there who were like “ooh yeah I wanna keep reading this” and it’s something I wrote (?!) and if I think about it too much I get a little panicky but I am also so fucking grateful and humbled that my silly story has pulled in so many people and I feel so fucking #blessed about it all.

(ಥ﹏ಥ) I keep half expecting to check my stats and see everyone has come to their senses and unsubscribed, but it hasn’t happened yet and the number keeps going up and omg omg omg!!! It is UNREAL and SO FUCKING AMAZING!

God I still cannot believe how much fucking fun I’m having writing again after becoming pretty much convinced I might never be able to feel that way again. I was so scared that spark in me had finally fucking died or something and I was so depressed about it. BUT IT DIDN’T! It feels like a fucking dream. I love it so much. I have wanted to feel this way again about writing for so fucking long and it’s finally back and I’m terrified I’ll lose the excitement again but I’m really hoping I can stave off my OCD and keep going. I really don’t want to lose it again. I just want to keep writing and enjoying it whether it’s fanfic or original stuff or otherwise.

GOD I FUCKING MISSED WRITING SO FUCKING MUCH.

I know I am being WILDLY fucking obnoxious and annoying about it and my OCD keeps telling me to SHUT THE FUCK UP about it because I am probably driving people nuts, making everyone on the face of the planet hate me, etc etc etc. But that’s why I gush so much on here about it because I figure no one has to fucking read this shit unless they for some unknown reason actually would want to and people can mute and unfollow and block me if they are at their wits end but I hope putting most of my unhinged ramblings under cuts makes it so I’m only like 50% ridiculously obnoxious instead of 100% but who fucking knows. I would not blame a soul for getting sick of seeing my username popping up on their dash when I am in a hardcore rambling or reblogging mood.

I am just so fucking incandescently happy about it all and I am trying SO HARD not to drive the people in my life insane by talking about how excited I am to be writing again nonstop so I’m just talking to myself nonstop on here instead and just letting myself fucking enjoy the process and the excitement I have around it all. And god I KNOW I AM BEING SO FUCKING OBNOXIOUS despite everything but my therapist has also been encouraging me to just feel my feelings without judgment so… FEELINGS. They are being felt! Hopefully only 50% obnoxiously for any innocent bystanders.

Idk why it is so much easier to journal regularly on tumblr than on Penzu or elsewhere but it is and it’s working for me and if it makes everyone on the face of the planet block my annoying ass, so be it. I already spend too much of my fucking life second guessing every single thing I say or do and I’m gonna take my cringe wins where I fucking can. And I feel less self-conscious and annoying yelling into the void of tumblr, SO HERE WE ARE.

Fffffuck you OCD! (ง •̀_•́)ง I will also take my little mental illness wins where I fucking can, goddammit!!! And idk why venting about it on tumblr helps so much but it fucking does so. VENT I SHALL.

[norwegianbelle]

Introductions

~This is from my other website I started, but overall abandoned due to me liking tumblr a bit more. I still like what I wrote, so here it is!~

With America's independence day being tomorrow, America is on my mind. This has been the case for a while now, however. No matter where you are in the world, home will always be home. I think, however, I may getting too far ahead of myself. Let's start with introductions.

My name is Kaitlyn. I was born in Charleston, South Carolina and I am in my mid-20's. I'm right in that juicy little age range where people debate about if I'm a millennial or Gen-Z and I usually choose whichever side is cooler in the context of the conversation. You know how it goes. I don't want to give out too much personal details here because it is the internet and I am not an idiot.

I was born in Charleston, as previously mentioned, but I also was raised there, too. For those reading and don't really know what culture in Charleston was like, I'll try to paint a nifty picture for you. Charleston is home to palmetto trees and the sea breeze. It was where the American Civil War started (Fort Sumter) and it also is home to the world's largest sweet tea. No, that isn't a joke. It is actually a thing. See below:

I know it says Summerville, but any true Charlestonian (or anyone from Summerville for that matter) will tell you it's "part of the Charleston area." Charleston is very much a tourist town, through and through. Summers are the peak season for traffic jams and expensive hotel room rates, but this is because the weather is perfect for going to the beach. Which, wouldn't you know, Charleston has one nearby (Isle of Palms.) That mixed in with the vigorous bar scene, it makes for the perfect destination for bachlor(ette) parties and people from Ohio to vacation at.

It is by no means perfect, however. Because of Charleston being such a big tourist town, many city funds go into taking advantage of the boom in the summers. Corrupt politicians make life hard for those without that live on the peninsula and even further inland. North Charleston has one of the highest crimes rates in America and it is very evident when moving past the area why that is: dilapidated houses, homeless people baking in the hot summer heat, potholes in roads that will permanently damage your car even if you are paying attention and can't avoid it. It is ruthless for those who were dealt a shitty hand, with the average rent being just shy of $2,000. And, lucky me, I was dealt an excessively shitty hand.

Despite the title of this, I won't be delving too deep. Just know that I've seen all the worst sides of America and how broken it is. Maybe as time goes on and in proper contexts, I'll give more details, but for now...

During what I like to call my "Growth Period," (Ya know, like an insane person) I met my now husband. He and I met on an online mobile game if you could believe it! We connected immediately and I knew within a few weeks he would be the one I would marry. And I was right! He took a bit more convincing, however. This was back in 2017, and he didn't propose until 2020. It was very cute. Over a voice call and everything (don't worry, ladies, he did a proper one later.)

After he proposed, we started looking into ways to get me to Norway. Given that my life in America wasn't great and my husband had family in Norway, we decided our best chance for a good life together was there. It took a while, especially with COVID, but finally, in December of 2022, the day after Christmas, I made landfall in Bergen (It was supposed to be on Christmas, but my flight in Detroit got cancelled. Cheers to that winter storm. I hate you.)

Coming to Norway was a huge change. there were a lot of different things happening. I was so used to being independent and relying on myself and then suddenly, I had to rely strictly on my husband. Not because that's what he wanted, but because I literally couldn't work. I suddenly went from having to do everything, to doing nothing and it was a jarring change. I also had to get used to the drastically different weather. Did you know that in Charleston it has snowed twice in, like, 20 years? Yeah, that was a big change.

Now, I'm here. Six months later and still doing nothing. Except writing about it. That's why I think I started this. To feel like I am actually doing something with my time that may be impactful to someone, somewhere. I feel like in America, moving to any Scandinavian country is romanticized. I've seen it all over social media, and I have to say that it was not at all what I expected. I expected the move here to solve all my problems, but they reality was I now had no distractions. I had to face my problems instead of just trying to focus on surviving and that's the one of the hard parts they don't tell you about. This blog will essentially be my online diary as I maneuver a very difficult change. I'll post recipes, journal entries, life updates to anyone who cares. I'll give some actual insight into what living here is like. Not the sparkly bullshit the vacationers try to sell you. Coming from a tourist town, I am intimately aware that living in a place is much different than visiting, and Norway is no exception.

I mentioned earlier how home will always be home. And I stand by that. I do find myself missing some parts of America. It is by no means perfect, but I miss the familiarity of it all. I miss how I could tell people where to go to find a good taco or where the nearest gas station was. I miss how I was easily able to navigate conversations with strangers because I knew what was culturally appropriate to talk about. I miss fried chicken.

That's not to say that Norway is all doom and gloom. There are perks to living here that you've probably heard of like good healthcare, good food and produce, wonderful scenery. It is a wonderful place, I just have a lot more to go off with America than I do here. I hope that in the coming years, I'll find myself feeling more at home here in Norway than in America.

Until next time! Happy 4th, America! Hope you enjoy your endless fireworks and BBQ's in the backyard!

[khangthecinephile]

Lady Bird (2017): Love = attention ?

One of the best movies to be released in 2017, a movie that is one of a kind in its genre, Lady Bird is written and directed by Greta Gerwig. Starring Saoirse Ronan, Timothée Chalamet and many other talented actors, this dramedy, coming of age movie follows the main character Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson and explores her complex relationship with her mother Marion played by Lauri Metcalf. Lady Bird is a movie about maturity, acceptance and most importantly love and attention. 

The main theme of the movie was delivered through the one quote of Sister Sarah Joan when she was talking to Lady Bird about her college essay: “Don’t you think they are the same thing, Love, Attention.” From the first scene, the center of the movie was presented, Lady Bird and her mother. One special thing about Lady Bird is that Greta Gerwig allows audiences to see from both the daughter’s perspective and the mother’s perspective. The deeply complex relationship between Lady Bird and Marion are exactly the representation of the quote. Finding a way to show our love to somebody isn't always easy and love is also sometimes hard to understand. Marion and Lady Bird are two people who clearly love each other but don't know how to express their love to the other person. Most of the times that these two characters appear in the same frame; they either fight or argue with each other. They fight because they pay lots of attention to one another's actions and personality. An example of this would be the scene when Marion and Lady Bird argue over how Lady Bird doesn’t fold her clothes. While Marion has to take care of the family and deal with financial problems, she also cares a lot about her daughter’s future. Although she may appear as strict or intruding Lady Bird’s life, everything she does starts from love. Another thing people can learn from Marion is acceptance. In the scene at the thrift store, Marion said that she wants Lady Bird to be the best version of herself but sometimes, love is also about accepting each other's flaws and imperfection. 

From Lady Bird’s point of view, she always asks if mom likes her, showing how much she cares about Marion’s love for her although she often says that her mom hated her. At the climax of the movie, after Marion found out that Lady Bird completely ignored her advice and applied to a university in New York city without her permission, instead of yelling or scolding her daughter, Marion decided to ignore Lady Bird back. In the scene in the kitchen, Lady Bird tries to explain her decision to Marion but Marion just stays completely quiet and gives no attention to her at all. Even until Lady Bird is about to leave Sacramento to go to New York city, Marion still tries to ignore her. These reactions obviously hurt Lady Bird deeply and helped her a lot in realizing the things she did wrong. Just when the two people stay apart, they realize how much they love each other. Marion instantly regrets her decision not to go into the airport with her daughter but it’s already too late. For Lady Bird, just when she reads the letters that Marion wrote, she finally understands how much Marion loves her and figures out her love for her mother as well.

Towards the end of the movie, at one of the best endings to a movie I’ve ever seen, Lady Bird woke up at the hospital after being drunk at her college party and walking down the street of a city that she’s completely unfamiliar with. She feels lonely and decides to go to a catholic church to find some sort of connection with her hometown. Lady Bird again realizes her love for her hometown and calls her mother to confess her love for Sacramento, also confessing her love for her mother. “Did you feel emotional the first time you drove in Sacramento?” She begins to describe it again “so affectionately and with such care.” Many people believe that attention is something humans rarely give to each other so it becomes more valuable and special, in other words, attention is equal to love.

The connection between attention and love was presented not just in the relationship between Lady Bird and her mother, but also in many other situations throughout the movie. When Lady Bird doesn’t give her best friend Julie as much attention anymore to become friends with the rich friend Jenna, she basically took her love away from Julie and it surely made her best friend sad. In another case, this time a romantic relationship with Kyle, Kyle doesn’t really pay attention to Lady Bird’s feelings, especially when the two just had sex and this truly hurt Lady Bird. Even when Lady Bird wants to go to prom with him, Kyle doesn’t care and decides to go to his friend’s house instead without taking notice of how Lady Bird feels.  

After all, though having lots of arguments and disagreements, Christine and her mother have one thing in common is that they both love each other. Through Lady Bird, Greta Gerwig has successfully delivered her message about love, attention and also about appreciating the things that are close to us like family and home. According to the director herself, Lady Bird is a love letter she wants to send to Sacramento, the city that she grew up in. Playing Lady Bird in this movie, Saoirse Ronan has given one of the best performances in her career so far. I can’t really imagine another person playing Lady Bird besides Saoirse Ronan herself. 

[vindicated-truth]

Hi @neklaw! Your interpretation is completely valid too ☺️ I feel like there’s really no right or real answer to any reading of the characters precisely because none of them are real people, so audiences are free to project their own experiences and beliefs on the characters—which is what fictional characters are for, anyway.

For me personally, I have a clear distinction between the Lawful Alignment and the Good Alignment. Lawful means you uphold tradition; Good means you protect and save other people. They’re not actually one and the same.

Han Joowon

For Han Joowon specifically, his morality is strictly based on tradition: being punished according to the law. It’s primarily what drives him forward in all of his actions and decisions, because he believes criminals should be punished as the law dictates, without bias: whether that’s his father, Dongsik, or even his own self.

Contrast that for example with Dongsik, whom I categorized under Chaotic because he’s the precise opposite: he doesn’t believe that the law can deliver justice that he believes people deserve, whether these are the victims or the criminals.

It’s why Dongsik gently but firmly refusing Jihwa’s pleas to give her the recording speaks volumes about their difference too: Jihwa believes they should still act according to their due as police officers, while Dongsik gently counters that it’s precisely because they’re police officers that he knows justice can’t be served this way.

It’s primarily why Dongsik decided to tamper with Kang Minjeong’s fingers too: because he knows reporting the scene immediately wouldn’t give Minjeong or Jinmook the justice due to them.

And it’s also precisely why, in contrast, Joowon is the Lawful one compared to Dongsik’s Chaotic Alignment: because Joowon believes that there is no excuse for Dongsik to not be punished according to the law precisely because he broke it—regardless of the intention.

Kwon Hyeok

As for Kwon Hyeok, the reason why I categorized him as Lawful is because just like Joowon, he works to uphold tradition—specifically when it comes to the tradition and hierarchy of his relationship with Han Kihwan and Han Joowon, in different ways.

With Han Kihwan, Hyeok is driven by the fact that he owes Kihwan his career. He benefitted monetarily from the huge payment Kihwan gave him for his tutoring services, which in turn lifted him up into a higher social class and a more lucrative career as a lawyer, which his own biological father’s humble job as a wholesale fruit merchant couldn’t have afforded on its own.

That, and the simpler fact that Kihwan legally was his former boss and employer, and both tradition and hierarchy dictates that he owes Kihwan that respect. It’s the same tradition and hierarchy that has him looking out for Joowon in the first place, because legally Joowon was his former ward, and he feels duty-bound to care for him too.

And while those notions of professional-based responsibility eventually crossed over to familial affection for him, it only served to strengthen that tradition and hierarchy, this time through what he perceives as a pseudo-familial unit.

(Contrast that for example, with how in the beginning, Dongsik firmly tells Jinmook that he shouldn’t feel beholden to Dongsik’s parents for helping him with the establishment of the grocery store, because Dongsik insists that it was all due to Jinmook’s hard work, and Jinmook shouldn’t feel like he owes that to Dongsik’s parents.

Dongsik is very clearly non-traditional in many things, which is why for me personally, no one is as loudly Chaotic in his Alignment in the show than him.)

And the reason why I also categorized Kwon Hyeok as Neutral (in terms of the distinction between Good and Evil, which is different from the distinction between Lawful and Chaotic) is because he doesn’t strongly care about other people—he’s dismissive of Lee Geumhwa’s death, which Joowon hates about him—but he doesn’t go out of his way to harm them either, unlike Kihwan.

This is also why Han Kihwan is Lawful: because he strongly upholds the tradition and hierarchy of him being the head of the Han family household, the boss and employer, and holding the top position in the police force. The difference is, he upholds all these traditions for Evil: so he can oppress and destroy those who are only in the way of his ambition and his twisted perception of what “perfection” should be.

So Joowon is Good because he protects and saves other people; Kihwan is Evil because he destroys and kills other people; and Hyeok is Neutral because he doesn’t particularly care either way. But all 3 of them in the Han household are strongly Lawful with their strict adherence to tradition—they are all just differentiated when it comes to their morality.

But again, these Alignment categorizations are made all in good fun lol. Because that’s what’s so fascinating about the writing of the Beyond Evil: the characters are given so much depth, nuance, and complexity that there’s so many ways they can be read and interpreted by the audience—and all of them are valid.

Beyond Evil: Alignment (Dungeons & Dragons)

I remembered this and got curious, and honest to god made an excel sheet for the alignments of all the known characters of Beyond Evil:

For those who are unaware: In the Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) fantasy role-playing game, alignment is a categorization of the ethical and moral perspective of characters.

It's categorized between good versus evil, and lawful versus chaotic.

The better explanation can be seen as follows:

So based on these descriptions, I used the excel sheet to categorize the characters of Beyond Evil, and this is what I came up with:

Lawful Good: "Crusader"

Han Joowon

Oh Jihwa

Kang Dosoo

Im Seonnyeo

Neutral Good: "Benefactor"

Nam Sangbae

Oh Jihoon

Hwang Gwangyoung

Chaotic Good: "Rebel"

Lee Dongsik

Yoo Jaeyi

Lawful Neutral: "Judge"

Kwon Hyeok

Kwak Ohsub

True Neutral: "Undecided"

Park Jeongje

Cho Gilgu

Chaotic Neutral: "Free Spirit"

Kang Minjeong

Lawful Evil: "Dominator"

Han Kihwan

Jung Cheolmun

Neutral Evil: "Malefactor"

Do Haewon

Lee Changjin

Chaotic Evil: "Destroyer"

Kang Jinmook

These are not rigid categorizations, just a way to make better sense and have a better understanding of them as characters. It was just fun to label them like this. 😆

It's fascinating as well to realize too that all 9 alignments are actually present in Beyond Evil.

Also, these are purely personal interpretations, so feel free to interpret differently!

Here are all 9 alignments in summary:

[zazzander]

Mark of Athena's Dining Scene - Breakdown

For more about Octavian's character see this post.

So my most hated scene in all of Heroes of Olympus comes at the beginning of Mark of Athena. The Seven treat Octavian terribly. And in many ways, I blame them for the reaction they get from Octavian.

They say they are coming in peace. And they have, effectively, two leaders to win over. The first is Reyna. She seems willing to believe them. But the second leader is Octavian, the religious head of the legion as the augur. No one goes on a quest without his say-so, at least, not an official one.

So, they should have been trying to win Octavian over as well as Reyna. Which means putting up with someone who gives them bad vibes.

Octavian expresses his reticence

“You want us to relax in the shadow of their warship.”

Note - “relax” and “warship”. I think this entire meeting could have gone better but for the aggressive action of parking the warship over the city. It's like saying "let's be friends" while pointing the gun at you.

Percy's Abuse of Power

The first person to behave badly is Percy. To be fair on Percy, they have a small amount of history. HOWEVER, the situation has radically changed. Percy now outranks Octavian.

“Good idea. Go burn your bears, Octavian.”

This is a demeaning comment from Percy. Octavian’s job is to sacrifice the stuffed animals. It's an incredibly important job. Much like the Oracle at Camp Half-Blood. And I think it’s another example of Percy disrespecting how Camp Jupiter works. Everyone has a role and a part to play and a duty to uphold.

Percy's Failure to convey Octavian's importance

This point doesn't exempt the others for their actions, but it does, in part explain it. And I think it's fair that some measure of blame should be leveled on him.

But Percy needed to let the Greeks know who they needed to win over, who had the power in the situation. Yet to Annabeth, Percy says,

“Don’t worry about Octavian. Most of the Romans are good people - like Frank and Hazel here, and Reyna. We’ll be fine.”

The thing is, Annabeth hasn’t had time to form her own opinion of Octavian. Octavian has only warned Reyna not to host a dinner party in the forum, questioning having a peace meeting in the shadow of an enemy WARSHIP. A pretty rational objection.

So Percy’s comment here actually set up Annabeth’s opinion of Octavian. Octavian is a “bad guy”. And she just saw Percy be incredibly rude to Octavian, though she doesn’t know the significance of the teddy bears yet.

Annabeth, even, in her own way, seconds Octavian’s concerns. She wants to leave ASAP, with Percy in tow. She feels like something terrible is going to happen.

Plus, even worse, Percy implies that Octavian isn't someone to worry about. Octavian is someone without influence or power at the camp - which is blatantly wrong and Annabeth/the Greeks needed to know that.

Piper, Piper, Piper

Then we get Piper’s moment of charmspeak.

“Now, be quiet and let Jason finish.”

This is the first line Piper speaks to Octavian. He has literally never done anything to her. Octavian is raising a legitimate objection, potentially he wants actual proof that Juno had been imprisoned in the Wolf House.

As he puts it, “that’s our most sacred place.”

But this is ignored by the Seven, without shows a complete lack of empathy. I can't imagine being forcably silenced by magic, especially in such a tense situation.

Further Abuse of Power by Percy

“On the bright side, both Jason and I outrank you, Octavian. So we can both tell you to shut up.”

So now Percy is actively abusing his newfound power to force Octavian to “shut up”. And he know sit. Like, this is pretty much the first thing Percy does with his praetorship.

What’s more, Octavian actually obeys. Sure, for Percy it might be a flippant comment, but that’s because he really doesn’t understand that he does outrank Octavian. And in a society where defiance of authority could - potentially - be punished very severely.

[Then Reyna has the gall to smile]

Immediately following this, Percy suggests he’ll step down as praetor. Interestingly, it’s only then that Octavian breaks his silence once more.

Annabeth Is At First Rude

Reyna asks Octavian to recite the prophecy, which like basically Octavian’s thing and the only element of his participation that hasn’t been mocked yet, and Annabeth INTERRUPTS HIM!

Like that’s at least three people actively dog piling Octavian + Reyna and Jason acting as supporters & encouragers.

Have you ever been bullied by three people at once? Ever been told to shut up and had your talents mocked and denounced? I have. It’s not fun. And it’s not funny.

Admittedly, after this, Octavian does scoff at Annabeth. But it’s not like Octavian is even the person to bring up her ancestry - it’s Frank. He’s the one who questions it. This is literally the only thing Octavian does against any of the Seven - and it’s reasonably understandable at this point. He’s not going like them at this point.

Annabeth Gaslights Like An Expert

Then Tyson and Ella show up. And Ella gives a prophecy. There’s so much potentially going inside Octavian’s head at this point.

1st. Octavian likely has experienced moments in his life where his gift of prophecy + his autism has made him a really awkward dinner guest - the kind to predict doom and gloom. So there’s a chance he sees himself in this random harpy that just showed up.

“Really, Octavian? Maybe harpies are different here, on the Roman side. Ours have just enough intelligence to clean cabins and cook lunches. Do yours usually foretell the future? Do you consult them for your auguries?”

Obviously, this is some intense gaslighting right there. Made worse considering the situation. But more than that, she turns the crowd on him - publicly embarrassing him for being willing to believe that a harpy might have intelligence.

And Octavian’s reaction cannot be discounted here. His tone shifts. Before he was incredulous. Now, he’s hesitant.

“I, uh…” Octavian dropped his teddy bear. “No, but-”

“She’s just spouting lines from some book,” Annabeth said, “like Hazel suggested. Besides, we already have a real prophecy to worry about.”

Octavian reacts to this tactic differently. Against abuse of power & the charmspeak he is defiant and angry. Against this? He’s confused and hurt.

He isn’t popular among the Romans and they dislike him so much that they side with the enemy leader rather than their prophecy expert.

We know Octavian’s special interest is the Sibylline books. He just heard someone recite a prophecy - can we not wonder that his desire here is not to injure or harm, but to share? To talk to someone who knows about prophecies and might just share his own interest? And only to find himself mocked.

The Ray of Hope that is Tyson

I find it kind of interesting that Tyson chooses to hug Octavian, and Octavian doesn’t actually fight him (just looks uncomfortable). That really doesn’t make sense unless there’s a bit of - “hey, you’re neurodivergent. So am I.” - between them. It's just no one else in the forum realises, at least, not Annabeth.

Then… We Come to Leo.

“Come aboard, man. I’ll give you a tour.” This section is fine. I like it even. Leo is the first person to realise that Octavian is someone to engage with as a representative of Rome. Then he messes up.

“You can steer the boat, and if you’re really good I’ll give you a little paper captain’s hat to wear.”

I know some people think this is just Leo being a jokester. But even by itself, this sounds like mockery to me. It’s condescending as hell. “If you’re really good” “little paper captain’s hat” those are infantilizing comments.

And then consider the context of that statement, of all the things previously discussed, yeah, that’s going to piss you off!

And even as confused, hurt, and angry Octavian is he agrees to go on the ship. Reyna doesn’t even have to order him. He follows Leo behind enemy lines, because it's his duty to not take any of the previous events personally.

Final Thoughts

So, yeah. It’s really hard to read this scene and not hate the Seven. It’s ironic that neither Frank nor Hazel, the people who have the most exprecience with hating Octavian, say nothing to him. Instead it’s Percy, Piper, Annabeth, and (in a way) Leo.