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whereishoney · 1 year ago

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I've been thinking about this post since I first saw it weeks ago and I've been agreeing with the bdubs sentiment but I couldn't quite wrap it around my head perfectly. until today. until I've been reading a homewreckers double life fic and in a general homewreckers mood lately.. and and. this song. is about bdubs and impulse. and who bdubs is and how he feels in relation to impulse. in my eyes of course...

verse 1:

I once loved a tailor who took eager care of me

Sewed together my loose ends with stitches neat and clean

But now my love is gone

And I am left unraveling

Unraveling

okay. okay. we could interpret this as their beginning, their good alliance which unraveled because of bdubs' growing suspicion of impulse's fidelity to the crastle. impulse was doing his best as a double agent and ultimately was betrayed because bdubs' suspicions boiled over, in addition to finding promise in an (albeit tenuous) alliance with desertduo for the final showdown. bdubs feels.. guilty?

verse 2:

I once loved a gardener with his dirt-smudged face and hands

Trimmed my weeds and gave me room to grow my flowers again

But now my love is gone

And I am left here withering

Withering

okay negligible number one, impulse just. gives gardener vibes if you think about it skdmfm he seems like he'd enjoy weeding carrots and replanting sprouts into fresh soil. anyway. impulse and bdubs were obviously not close at all in this season andd had no notable interactions that I can remember? I'm doing this on a whim rn, I really don't know, I'd have to go do research (rewatch lol). still!! impulse "gave [him] room to grow" and whatnot, both of them doing their own thing with their own people independent of each other — in theory, putting the betrayal behind them.

but then impulse and grian plant a wither. in the snow fort. and bdubs is like the first person to charge it. he goes down!! he's WITHERING, PLEASE understand my insanity over this perfection. he's withering. verse 2. last life, season 2. oh my god its just perfect. and also bdubs is perhaps reminded of third life somewhere in the back of his mind, wondering if..maybe..maybe. impulse wasn't over it. and maybe grudges transcended seasons. and tango wasn't the only person on his tail. anyway..

verse 3:

I once loved a carpenter who carved a smile for me

Sanded my rough edges, crafted new and lovely things

But now my love is gone

And I can't help the fracturing

I never knew that I needed you

ya baby!! double life, they're soulmates, they're homewreckers and there's some slight tension they elect to pocket for another time because it's really not worth getting worked up over things when the other's burden is your pain. he carved a smile, so to speak..

on the other hand, impulse gives bdubs a clock first thing. a promise. double-ended. impulse will keep him safe, and in return, bdubs should keep impulse safe. a mutual thing. he carved it, you might say.

they work well together! do they bring out the best in each other? next question, but at least they keep each other safe, that's the least they can ask as each others' soulmates. things are good, really. homewreckers were one of the healthier couples in double life when it came to their own interpersonal relation. but of course it must come to an end, good times don't last forever, and this temporary devotion to one another isn't as definite looking forward, where there's no consequence for the other's pain.

verse 4:

I once loved a man who kissed me once before he left

Tied me up in knots and said he'd soon return again

But now my love is gone

And I am left unraveling

Unraveling

limited life!! remember the clock? a token of trust. then a promise of devotion and a reminder of solidarity : "we're in this together. your blood is my bruise." well, not anymore. other essays have talked about before but essentially the limited life clock impulse gave to bdubs was something made on a whim, with laughter during the exchange, but something back-handed and selfish in its making. it wasn't double-sided anymore. this time it was moreso an obstacle: "I gave you this clock, that means you can't hurt me, right?" not that it's something bdubs held himself up against, but the intention was of ensuring impulse's safety and freedom from attack from bdubs, with nothing to gain on bdubs' end. and that's only further emphasised when we later see TIES' hesitation in being friendly to him (there's more context there, the whole skizz thing, the fresher and more openly spoken about wound tango bore, poking fun at etho over bdubs, yada yada, but yknow!)

and really I don't think bdubs was ever fooled by this? I don't think he ever expected something genuine from this encounter, not really — impulse is quite cunning, he doesn't get enough credit for it. maybe it even stung a little. almost like a slap in the face, effectively pronouncing: "last season only happened because it had to. if things were different, you would've run away, wouldn't you have?" but impulse wouldn't put himself at stake over a grudge. because he's all about teams and alliances but at his core, and when it comes to it, when the shoe drops, impulse is in it for himself. and good for him!

bdubs just,, doesn't roll the dice that way. he's really the opposite. he's all for companionship, and truthfully those can get lost in the haze, it's what started this whole dynamic between them..but deep down he has his people he would never, ever go against, and people he'd put above teams, above himself. impulse is just not that person, and he knows it.

ANYWAY those were my thoughts about unraveling by the crane wives via bdubs and impulse, some of the pettiest in the life series who I love dearly. thank you

Lifers x Crane Wives

I saw someone comment on a life series TikTok or something to try and pair all of the lifers to a crane wives song, without repeating songs. so obviously I spent an hour doing it

Grian—Tongues & Teeth (self explanatory if you’ve EVER heard this song)

Scar—Steady, Steady (this whole song is about how their partner is walking out but they still want to be “wild and free” which is just SO Scar coded)

Tango—Ancient History (he keeps teaming up with Skizz and I feel like this song vibes with that, it also just feels very Tango)

Skizz—Icarus (this man always gives himself up for his teammates I swear, and he fuels them to keep going. It also says “oh brother, brother” which feels like Skizz talking to any of his teammates to me)

Impulse—Allies or Enemies (Impulse has been very iffy on a lot of his alliances throughout the seasons, especially in third life and with the amount of playing all sides that man has done this songs feels right)

Cleo—The Glacier House (this. this is literally just her leaving Fairy Fort. The song is talking to/about her from probably Lizzie’s perspective, but like the last line is 100% as if Cleo was speaking)

Bdubs—Unraveling (Bdubs relies so heavily on his teammates, and when he doesn’t have that stability *cough* Etho *cough* he just kinda doesn’t know what to do so this song fits)

Mumbo—Keep You Safe (this man is by no means an aggressive/reckless player [see: Joel or Martyn] and he feels like he’s just here for the vibes and honestly? Love that for him. This song is about fear not keeping you safe and watching your friends run high risks, which just is very accurate to how Mumbo plays this series. I also feel like he could fit Rockslide when he goes red cause he goes from standstill to “drop dead sprint” in terms of aggression)

Lizzie—Shallow River (another one I can’t explain but like. It has Lizzie vibes. Calm but this woman is a THREAT)

Jimmy—Canary in a Coal Mine (no further context needed, we all know Timmy)

Scott—Little Soldiers (this is very flower husbands, but also just feels like Scott looking back on the last seasons including Pearl, Jimmy, Martyn, all his reluctant exes. Also this man is the watchers’ like least favorite person ever and this gives that vibe)

Pearl—Ribs (i changed this from New Discovery because Ribs is entirely about somewhat angrily protecting and helping yourself because nobody else would, and it really strikes me as Pearl with the some things having been good (Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss) and some being bad (divorce quartet))

BigB—Not the Ghost (this man is so incredibly odd, he just constantly feels like he is being haunted by the watchers and just going about his life, he is the human personification of gaslight and we love that for him)

Martyn—The Hand That Feeds (he HATES the watchers with every ounce of his being, and with Ren gone I think this guy’s only purpose is just to spite them)

Joel—Sleeping Giants (go listen to it. That’s all there is to it, it just feels very Joel-ish, this lad is absolutely fucking mental)

Ren—Once & for All (this song feels like war and being betrayed, and Ren has been betrayed so much so it just fits. I mean come on “my blood’s forever on your hands” tell me that isn’t 100% something Ren would say)

Gem—Show Your Fangs (Girlboss moment, we love Geminislay. This woman is not someone to be underestimated and this song very clearly says that so it’s very Gem in my head. She doesn’t have enough lore yet to make it angsty but ONE DAY)

Etho—Never Love An Anchor (I can’t explain it, this song just has Etho vibes. I mean “It’s a secret I keep tucked inside my chest” just seems very him, I can’t really tell you why)

#bdubs #impulse #lit #third life #last life #double life #limited life #oh and let's pretend secret life isn't happening yet I don't have thoughts for it just now #I need time to boil and simmer for coherent thoughts to come from the primordial soup #mine

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years ago

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7x07: The Mentalists

Then:

Dean’s drinking professionally this season

Now:

At a seance, a couple inquire about their Uncle Danny. The woman is interested in knowing if he’s happy and with the family dog.

The man wants to know where some important papers are located. The psychic seems in control at first, but when the lights flicker and the flames in the fireplace grow, she looks surprised. The planchette moves ALL on its own and the air gets frosty. Then the planchette impales itself in the psychic’s neck.

Dean’s all alone and driving a crappy, stolen car after his bust up with his brother and the Leviathan’s making the Impala a wanted vehicle. He learns of deaths in Lily Dale, the most psychic town in America, and hits the road.

At the crime scene, he finds all the tricks the psychic employed, and then heads to Good Graces Cafe.

It’s not his type of place, but he hears his brother’s voice. Sam’s in town too to investigate. Dean jumps right into his everything’s good and let’s work the case spiel, but Sam is not happy.

Dean gives up the facade and tells Sam they might as well work together to get the case over with. A woman walks in and recognizes them. They convince her that they’re not the Winchesters, and then her dining partner comes up and recognizes them as FBI. They both express their shock at the deaths. The man introduces himself as a spoon bender.

The brothers start looking at the victims. Dean notes that they both had the same necklace, possibly a cursed object.

They head to interview Melanie, the granddaughter to one of the victims. They ask about the necklace, and she tells them all her things went to the emporium. They ask to see the necklace.

And then they take it under the FBI pretense. The shop owner says it’s the Orb of Thesulah. Dean wonders what that is. Sam points out that it’s a fake --and a town of fakes. Shocking.

That night, the man from the cafe pulls out his utensils to practice his craft. Suddenly they all stand on end and he gets whisked above them, only to fall to his death.

The brothers check out the crime scene and learn the man had a vision of his own death. Dean then gets a call from Melanie, and they head to her house to talk. She tells them that her grandmother left her a voicemail message of her own coming death. When she mentions that the air got cold, the brothers tell her they’re dealing with a ghost.

She does not believe them.

They tell her their story. She needs a drink (and so does Dean.)

Sam and Dean realize how difficult their situation is --fake and probably real psychics, ghosts, and a whole lot of confusion. They split up to canvas the town.

Camille Thibodeaux, a friend of Melanie's, has a death vision. She calls Melanie, and her friend brings Dean.

Camille tells him about her death vision. Dean cannily surveys the room and spots a security camera. Cut to later, where they watch her get attacked by an actual G-G-G-GHOST on the camera footage. Melanie remembers seeing a picture of the ghost in the museum.

At the museum, the tour guide spins a little backstory towards us. Hooking into the “brothers rift” theme of Season 7, we hear about sibling fights in the psychic gallery PLUS one success story of two brothers who got along famously. “Of course, that was just a stage name. They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, um... alternative lifestyle.” Cut to a closeup of Dean.

They spot the Fox sisters’ portrait. One of the sisters (the ghost) was known for her death prophecies and telekinesis. The older sister, the museum guide reports, “didn't have her sister's charisma, but she looked after Kate. Sometimes, one's true gift is taking care of others.” Sometimes I watch these thesis statements on Dean and shriek at such a high pitch that I break every pane of glass in the gas station. Sam heads off to dig up some Fox sister skeletons, but the tour guide grabs Dean. “Do you know an Eleanor or an Ellen?”

“She seems quite concerned about you. She wants to tell you – pardon me – if you don't tell someone how bad it really is, she'll kick your ass from beyond. You have to trust someone again eventually.” ANYWAY. The tour guide fucks off and leaves both Dean AND myself shattered into a million pieces.

Dean storms out moments later and demands that Sam treat him with a modicum of courtesy. Sam entrenches in his anger. When Dean defends his choice to kill Amy, he then also dredges up Sam’s best pal, Hallucifer as reason number one to coddle Sam.

Later at the cemetery, Dean stands watch while Sam digs up a grave. They wonder why the ghost is warning all the psychics before killing them. The ghost zooms up just as they’re about to salt and burn the body. She seems relatively stable for a murderous ghost and pleads with them to listen to her. WHY won’t anybody listen to her? GIRLFRIEND, I feel you.

Sam and Dean torch her and she flames out dramatically. Camille and Melanie celebrate the good news: the ghost is, uh, dead. Re-dead-ified? Back at Camille’s place, they pack a quick bag. The death omens start to spiral around poor Camille. The older Fox sister arrives as a desperate Melanie calls the Winchesters for help. Melanie ineffectually tosses an empty salt container at the spirit before watching her friend get killed before her eyes. UUUUGH.

Later, a grieving Melanie shoos the Winchesters out of her home, telling them that Margaret (the ghost) enjoyed killing her friend. That morning, they dig up Margaret’s grave. “I feel naked doing this in daylight,” Dean observes. Oh, sunshine. From the shadowed forest, something lurks. Unfortunately, nothing lurks in the actual grave. Margaret’s coffin lies empty. Later, Dean notices a flyer for an upcoming psychic festival. All the headliners featured in the poster are now all dead. Dean runs this theory by Melanie, who realizes that she’s the next logical successor to the Lilydale psychic throne.

Sam heads back to the thrift shop to pursue new necromancer leads while Dean tries to ghost proof Melanie. He surrounds her in a great big salt circle. (SALT HULA HOOP, I whisper in Dean’s ear.)

Sam bursts into the suspected necromancer’s house only to find a lamaze class. He and Dean realize that the pawn shop owner is the necromancer, trying to feed them false leads. This is all very useful, but it doesn’t help Melanie. Margaret shows up at the house ready to REDRUM.

Breaking into the pawn shop owner’s house, Sam finds a spooky altar complete with a skull. The necromancer levels a gun at Sam.

The ghost appears, blowing out Melanie’s windows. RUDE! They fight while the necromancer monologues over them, telling Sam that he’s a real psychic. He just doesn’t get top billing because he’s not that pretty or charismatic.

Sam grows weary of the villain-splaining and shoots the necromancer. He then heads into the dude’s bedroom where he finds Margaret’s bones...in his bed. Welp. Good night, everybody!

After Sam torches the bones and saves Melanie, Dean gets the full recap at the psychic diner.

For Dean and Flowers Science:

Sam bows out of the conversation when Melanie arrives. Dean desperately tries to minimize his feats of heroism. She thanks him anyway and they both circle around the mutual-attraction-imcompatible-lifestyles hole. Honestly, I am so firmly entrenched in the Cas endgame but WHY don’t I read more of Dean/Melanie in fics? She’s a cutie! And then we can have Shipper!Melanie too.

Dean leaves the diner to find that Sam’s moved his duffel to Dean’s car. Sam tells Dean that he understands why he killed Amy now. He ALSO tries to get Dean to admit that he’s swirling around the black hole of drinky drinky despair. Dean tells Sam that he killed Amy out of instinct - he didn’t trust her. “Ever since Cas, I’ve had a hard time trusting anybody.” GUH. Dagger to the heart.

They trundle off into the next episode. (GUYS, this was written by THE Acker and Blacker duo! I had no idea!)

Look Into the Crystal Quotes:

See, there’s fake woo woo crap. And there’s real woo woo crap

This is gonna be looking like a needle in a stack of fake needles

If you affirmate me, I’m gonna punch you in the face

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn 7x07 #the mentalists #supernatural season 7

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gameofdrarry · 4 years ago

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Wizards Hearts Recs: Accidental Bonding

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 The Destiny You Sold by tryslora Rated: Explicit Words: 58872 Tags: Accidental Bonding, Knitting, Wandlore, Top Draco Malfoy, Bottom Harry Potter, Light Dom/sub, Dom Draco, Sub Harry Potter, Light Bondage, Kink Exploration, Kink Negotiation, Dubious Consent, Prick Cozies, Light Angst, Blow Jobs, Questioning Sexuality, Wandmaker Harry Potter, shop owner draco, Kissing, Living Together, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Intergluteal Sex, Drunken Confessions, Outdoor Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Masturbation, Watching, Unintended Arousal, Untimely Arousal, Everyone Ships Draco/Harry, Domestic, Love Bites, Hickeys, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Sleepy Sex, Mutual Pining, Magical Prick Recovery, Multiple Orgasms, Harry Comes Out, Voyeurism, Accidental Voyeurism Summary: In which Draco knits, Harry makes wands, and things get very tangled up between them. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Catch and Release by shealwaysreads (onereader) Rated: Explicit Words: 11293 Tags: Forced Bonding, Wizarding Traditions (Harry Potter), Bonding Spell, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Well - Freeform, Enemies to Forced Bonding to Lovers, Touch Averse Draco Malfoy, also, Touch-Starved Draco Malfoy, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, Forced Proximity, Forced Cohabitation, personal boundaries, Bodyguard Harry Potter, Feels, minor harry/omc, Happy Ending, Happy Birthday Tacky!!, Touch-Starved Harry Potter Summary: Wizarding Britain is changing; a slow integration with the Muggle world has begun, and Draco Malfoy has been summoned from his quiet life crafting wards in France to help. But that’s not what this story is about. This story is about Potter, and magic, and the courage it takes to reach out. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Beautifully Unbound by breath_of_mine (tsundanire) Rated: Explicit Words: 54933 Tags: Post-Hogwarts, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Blaise Zabini/Narcissa Malfoy, BDSM, Praise Kink, Dom/sub, Subspace, Safewords, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Blindfolds, Impact Play, Spanking, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Mental Health Issues, Therapy, Consensual Kink, Light Bondage, Angst, Holidays, Young Teddy Lupin, Mystery, Auror Harry Potter, Accidental Bonding, Bonding, H/D Erised 2018, Community: hd_erised, POV Alternating, Telepathic Bond, Gay Male Character, Bisexual Male Character, Dom Draco Malfoy, Sub Harry Potter, Bearded Harry Potter, Dirty Talk, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Gloves, Massage, Sex Toys, Mistletoe, Family Dinners, Misunderstandings, Past Relationship(s) Summary: Auror Potter is sent on a mission to clear out deadly artifacts from a Death Eater Safehouse with Draco Malfoy. What could possibly go wrong? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 In Evidence of Magical Theory by bixgirl1 Rated: Explicit Words: 43747 Tags: Hogwarts Eighth Year, Accidental Bonding, Magical Theory, Magical Cores, Powerful Harry, Rimming, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Switching, Slash, HP: EWE, Falling In Love, forced bed sharing, Blow Jobs, completed fic, Bonding, Forced Proximity, Sharing a Bed, First Time, Loss of Virginity Summary: When a hex meant for Draco accidentally catches Harry as well, they're forced to learn to understand each other in ways they previously might have thought impossible. In which Harry and Draco can't fight, so they fall in love instead. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Awakening by Lomonaaeren Rated: Explicit Words: 29364 Tags: Bonding, Fluff and Angst Summary: Draco and Harry have a forced bond. Draco and Harry have trouble getting along. Draco and Harry want freedom from the bond--no, wait, that's only Harry. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Home by gnarf Rated: Teen and Up Words: 29377 Tags: Post-Hogwarts, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Pansy Parkinson/Theodore Nott, Auror Harry Potter, Curse Breaker Draco Malfoy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sentient Houses, Magical Theory, Accidental Marriage, Accidental Bonding, Fluff, Getting Together, Banter, First Dates, Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, POV Harry Potter, Drinking, H/D Erised 2019 Summary: When Harry was forced to leave his house because he couldn't take the things happening there any longer, he realised he'd need to ask for help from the best curse breaker the Ministry had to offer—Draco sodding Malfoy. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but nothing could have prepared him for what happened after he finally jumped over his own shadow. A story about an unsolved mystery, a few minor accidents, and finally finding a home. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Cupid Incident by meandminniemcg Rated: Explicit Words: 12663 Tags: Forced Bonding, Cafeteria worker Draco Malfoy, Crimescene specialist Harry Potter, Dubious Consent, wanking, House-elf culture, Witness Protection, Consent Issues, our boys need to learn how to communicate, Happy Ending, Blow Jobs Summary: Draco gets into the way of a potions attack and can't get Potter out of his head. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Let's not wait for France by gnarf Rated: Teen and Up Words: 17712 Tags: Hogwarts Eighth Year, Accidental Bonding, Hogwarts Hospital Wing, Kissing, Fluff, Quidditch, Blow Jobs, Study of Ancient Runes (Harry Potter), POV Harry Potter, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Feelings, Falling In Love, Alcohol, Drinking, Party, Party Games, Feel-good, H/D Sex Fair 2020, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley Summary: All Harry had wanted from his Eighth year at Hogwarts was a little peace and a little privacy but, from the moment that he stepped onto Platform 9 3/4, it was obvious that nothing was ever going to be that easy. An accidental bond with Malfoy that resulted in them having to stay together at all times was the final straw. Things couldn't be worse. So much to a quiet year in Hogwarts. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Telling You Why (Better Watch Out!) by milkandhoney Rated: Explicit Words: 33429 Tags: Forced Proximity (sort of), POV Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Sorting Hats, Romance, Sexual Inexperience, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension, Smut, Comedy, Angst, Christmas, Post-War, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, 25 Days of Draco and Harry 2018, Advent Fic, Bickering, Curses, Pranks, Involuntary Acts of Kindness, Christmas Tree, Christmas Decorations, Weasley Jumpers, Animate Objects, Magical Theory, Mystery, First Time, Involuntary Acts of Not-so Kindness, Muggle Studies: Christmas Edition, Slow Burn Summary: Not many people realize Father Christmas has a sorting hat of his own. Why would they? He's the only one who uses it, and only once a year. Draco Malfoy just wants to get through his Eighth Year. He doesn't want to think about Christmas or how Muggles celebrate it, and he certainly doesn't want to think about why Harry Potter won't leave him alone. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Celestial Bodies by shiftylinguini Rated: Explicit Words: 20307 Tags: Bonding, Accidental Bonding, Auror Partners, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, First Time, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Telepathy-gasms, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Draco Malfoy, Forced Proximity, Space Magic Summary: “An astrological anomaly induced bond,” Harry repeats, deadpan, as the Head Healer of the Magical Malfunctions ward finishes announcing his prognosis. “Space magic,” says Draco, tapping long fingers irritably against the arm of his chair. “You’re saying we’ve been zapped by space magic.” The Healer huffs. “That’s rather simplifying things, gentlemen.” ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Feathers, Fire & Fate by agentmoppet Rated: Teen and Up Words: 25983 Tags: Veela Draco Malfoy, Unspeakable Harry Potter, Peacock Keeper Draco Malfoy, unusual careers, Banter, Pining, Loneliness, Dreamscapes, Accidental Bonding, Cursed Bonding, Guilt, Soulmates, Drinking, Minor Injuries, H/D Erised 2020, Creature Fic, Cursed Harry Potter, Fate, Dreams, Peacocks, Animals, Animal Sanctuary, Repaying Debt, Veela Mates Summary: Harry Potter ignites the Veela’s Curse and gets an unwitting Draco Malfoy bonded to him as his executioner… and soulmate. They’ll need to break it quickly, before it takes over, but Potter isn’t the only one running out of time. The sand in the hourglass has nearly fallen, and whichever way this ends, Draco is doomed. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Malfoys Never Get What They Want by cami_soul Rated: Explicit Words: 13258 Tags: Post-Second War with Voldemort, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Accidental Bonding, Truth or Dare, Firewhiskey (Harry Potter), Drinking, Fluff and Smut, Sharing a Bed, Explicit Sexual Content, Dubious Consent Due To Accidental Bonding, H/D Erised 2018, Community: hd_erised, Sharing a Room, Albus Dumbledore Lives, Hedwig (Harry Potter) Lives, Kissing, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Shower Sex, Frottage Summary: Hogwarts has been different this year, at least for Harry Potter and his friends. The school had been rebuilt over the summer and was pretty much back to normal unless you were returning to redo your seventh year. But just as Harry had started to settle comfortably into the school year, weird things had started to happen that Harry could find no explanation for. Draco had started to be nice to him, and then there was that kiss! Harry was just trying to figure things out when he and Draco were accidentally bonded! What will this bond do to the fragile relationship they were forging? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Three Boxes and a Scrapbook by dracogotgame Rated: Mature Words: 30493 Tags: mention of divorce, flangst, Bill is a bro Summary: One year after being accidentally bonded to each other, Harry and Draco are free to move on with their lives. But perhaps, what they needed was here all along. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Chain Me Up or Set Me Free by alpha_exodus Rated: Explicit Words: 12956 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Accidental Bonding, unbreakable bonds, Forced Proximity, Sharing a Bed, Roommates, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Arguing, Touch-Starved, Anal Sex, Falling In Love, Co-workers, Enemies to Lovers, Brief Mentions of Canon-Typical Child Neglect, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, H/D Erised 2020, Person of Color Harry Potter, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Apologies, Muggle Technology, unusual careers, POV Draco Malfoy Summary: This horrid bonding thing is all Potter’s fault, obviously. As for what comes after that? Draco’s not quite sure. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Allegiance by Ladderofyears Rated: Teen and Up Words: 4021 Tags: Hogwarts Eighth Year, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Accidental Bonding, Magical Accidents, Falling In Love, History of Magic Class (Harry Potter), Hogwarts Library, latin incantations, Getting to Know Each Other, dragon heartstrings, Hogwarts Hospital Wing, Powerful Magic, Blended Friendship Groups, Boys Kissing, Commitment, Love Confessions, Boys In Love, Plans For The Future, Happy Ending, POV Draco Malfoy, Drarropoly: Founders Edition - A Drarry Game/Fest Summary: When Draco finds himself accidentally - and irreversibly - bonded with Harry Potter he has to rethink his whole life and everything that he thinks he knows. Draco doesn't expect to find love in the process. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Intertwined by bluefay Rated: Explicit Words: 25086 Tags: Memory Loss, Memory Alteration, Accidental Bonding, Magic Gone Wrong, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Malfoy Manor, Self-Harm, Dark Mark (Harry Potter), Serious Injuries, But they're not very graphic so don't fret!, Self-Hatred, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Established Relationship, Sort Of, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Hate Sex, Childhood Trauma ,Flashbacks, St Mungo's Hospital, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Time, H/D Hurt!Fest 2020 Summary: On May 3rd, 1998, Draco Malfoy wakes up with no memory of Voldemort, the war, or Harry Potter, his supposed boyfriend. ❤️ Read on AO3

#accidental bonding #drarry #drarry recs #game of drarry #wizards hearts #wh masterlist

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ladyreapermc · 5 years ago

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Fic: This isn’t a rom-com (1/?)

Author’s notes: So this was basically the first thing I started writing when I got back to Keanu fandom after Parabellum, but it remained sitting on my files because it still felt weird to write and share rpf. But after so many rewrites, I think I’m finally ready to do it. I’ll be posting new chapters every Monday and I’d love some feedback. The entire thing is set in 2013.

Wordcount: 2174

Warnings: none for this part

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

As Lilah stood outside the address given to her, she took a deep breath and asked herself for the third time what was she thinking when she let Isaac talk her into doing this. She had so much to do.

Sure, she had the morning off since her advisor was out of town for a conference, but Lilah still could have been prepping her Monday class or even reviewing her paper.

But Isaac knew her too well. He argued that it had been ages since she had taken a day to herself and as soon as the words movie set came out of his mouth, she dropped everything else and came running. The prospect of since the cinema magic working up close was too good to pass up.

So, she waited outside the set, waiting until Isaac finally showed up, dark curls sticking to his reddish face, probably from jogging through the building. He flashed the security staff a quick bright smile, before ushering Lilah inside, guiding the way through a maze of corridors, walking so fast Lilah barely had the time to take a proper look at everything.

“Thanks so much for doing this, Lih! You’re a lifesaver,” he commented over his shoulder. “One of our extras just didn’t show up today and we’re behind schedule already.”

“It’s fine,” she said as they stopped by a table where an agitated looking brunette sat with a clipboard and walkie-talkie. She checked Lilah’s ID, before collecting her contact information and telling Isaac to take her to the wardrobe department to change.

Before Lilah could even finish shoving her ID back in her pocket, Isaac was whisking her away.

“So, what kind of movie is this?” Lilah asked as she exchanged her street clothes for the costume, a beautiful red dress, and some killer heels. “It’s not a rom-com, is it? Izzy, I’ll kill you if you’re making me play extra in a rom-com.”

“It’s an action flick, relax,” he replied, and Lilah could actually hear the eye-roll in his tone. “I will never understand your hatred for rom-coms.”

“What’s to like about them?” she asked stepping out of the dressing room. “They sell women unrealistic, almost pathological expectations for love and romance, also…”

“Lih, this isn’t your dissertation. You don’t have to always take it so seriously.” Isaac said cutting her off as he led her to the hair and makeup chair.

“I mean, one can appreciate all the clichés without really thinking it’s gonna happen to them. I mean, how many couples do you know that started as two unlikely people that are perfect for each other having that first meet-cute then moving on to silently pinning over each other. Then having the classic love triangle that might lead to the epic conflict and break up so they can have a heartfelt reunion later, with the grand romantic gesture, the speech and finally their happy ending…”

And even though Isaac’s words pointed out the improbability of it, his dreamy tone told Lilah he still hoped it could happen to him someday.

Lilah rolled her eyes fondly because he was such a hopeless romantic.

She, on the other hand, prided herself on being pragmatic. She believed in love, of course. She wasn’t that jaded at twenty-nine; but to Lilah, love wasn’t something that just happened. You didn’t just stumble on the love of your life by accident someday.

“You look smoking, honey!” Isaac declared, snapping Lilah out of her thoughts. “Come on! Chad and David are already on set and ready to shoot.”

Lilah only had time to grab her bag before he was leading her once again through the maze of corridors to and ample room that looked a lot like a speakeasy, from the jazz band on the stage, to the smoky air, dim lighting and leather booths.

“Now all you have to do is sit still and look pretty.” He flashed her a teasing smile and ignored her eye-roll. “I’ll check on you during lunch break.”

Lilah waved her goodbye and watched as he moved to a pair of men standing by some monitors talking. They exchanged a few words, before Isaac disappeared again, probably off to run another task.

They filmed for around two hours straight. Lilah couldn’t see much of was going on because her table was facing the band and away from the area the camera seemed to be focused on and she couldn’t exactly turn to see, even if she really wanted to, but she managed to sneak a couple of glances whenever they called cut.

“Ok everybody, let’s take 15,” one of the directors announced.

Lilah stood up, stretching her back to work out the kinks of being sitting still for too long in an uncomfortable chair.

She took a few moments to search for Isaac, but he was nowhere around the main room and Lilah didn’t want to risk getting lost in the building. Instead, she picked a water bottle and a protein bar from craft service and looked for a quiet place to wait for filming to resume.

Lilah found a hidden corner in of the set, out of the way from most of the staff and quiet enough that she could pull out her book. She settled on one of the free chairs to read a little. Soon, she was absorbed by the text, shutting off everything else until a passage caught her attention, and Lilah couldn’t help but snort at it and offer a counterargument under her breath.

“Are you pro or against dualism?” Someone asked from just outside her line of vision, probably catching the cover of her book when Lilah held it closed while digging for a pen in her bag.

“Against obviously,” Lilah replied with a small snort as she looked up, her eyes going wide at the sight before her. Shock making her drop her pen and book, which he picked up.

“Really?” He asked with a curious frown. “Why?”

Lilah as she stared at him, she couldn’t get her throat to work.

He was so much taller than he looked on the screen, with broad shoulders and a strong chest. His dark hair was slicked back with gel, the tips touching his nape. He was spotting a well-trimmed beard, some fake bruises, and a black three-piece suit. Lilah didn’t think anyone could be this handsome, but she was obviously wrong.

“Where are my manners…” he said offering a hand. “Hi. I'm Keanu.”

The gestured kickstarted Lilah’s brain again and she shook his hand with a quick, embarrassed laugh.

“I’m sorry! Hi. Lilah,” she rushed to say. “I’m Lilah.”

“Nice to meet you, Lilah,” he said with a warm smile.

“So, you don’t believe in the mind…” he commented, handing her pen and book back and Lilah did her best to smooth the wrinkled edge.

“As an immaterial entity that exists apart from our bodies like Descartes proposed? Not really. I mean, let’s face it, he just gave it a pseudo-scientific look to the idea of a soul.”

Lilah looked up from her book, catching the way he was watching her with a smile.

“Sorry,” she huffed a breath with an embarrassed smile. Was she really babbling about dualism to Keanu Reeves?

“No, no,” he assured, taking a seat next to her. “Go ahead.”

“Uh… well,” she hesitated, glancing at him again. “I mean, it’s been what? A couple of thousand years? Probably more, but we still can figure out what the mind is.”

“I always thought of it as what makes us human. Theoretically, of course.”

“Ok but wouldn’t that be more like what it does than what it is?” she pointed out. “But let’s run with it, anyway. How does a mind make us human?”

“Well, for one, isn’t it supposed to give us a conscience, intelligence, all that…” Keanu trailed off with a hand gesture and Lilah smiled.

“But those brain functions. Are we saying the mind is the brain?” she couldn’t contain the way her smile widening even more. This was fun.

She loved talking philosophy, but Lilah rarely had the chance of doing it outside a classroom. And here she was actually talking dualism with fucking Neo!

“If it was the same thing, why would we need two concepts?” he inquired, brow furrowing in a small thoughtful frown.

“You just made my point for me,” Lilah said, and Keanu chuckled. “And it can’t be part of the brain either, because theories seem to agree that the mind isn’t material and our brains are very material.”

“Maybe there’s another dimension out there,” he offered with a shrug, leaning forward on his elbows which brought him closer to Lilah.

She bit her bottom lip to suppress the urge of making a Matrix joke.

“Ok, but then how is something that is immaterial influences our very material selves?”

Lilah watched as Keanu paused, considering her argument, that thoughtful frown returning, and Lilah took that time to admire him. If her teen self could see her now, she would probably have a heart attack. Keanu had been her movie crush for as far as she could remember, ever since she watched the Matrix for the first time.

And here he was, in the flesh, just talking to her. It was almost surreal. Was this a dream? Was she going to awake any minute in her bed?

“Alright, you got me,” he said with a smile, catching her attention. “I have no idea, but don’t you think there should be something there? Shouldn’t a man be more than just atoms and chemicals? Something more transcendental?”

“What? You’re a Kant man?”

The words were out of her mouth before she could contain herself. Her tongue slipping on the pronunciation, making it sound like a completely different thing and Keanu busted out laughing, turning bright red.

It took a second for Lilah to realize how it sounded, but when she did, she covered her face with her hands, mortified.

“Oh my God! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean…”

“It’s ok,” he assured, still chuckling. “It’s fine. Really. I am not a Kantian, no but I can see the value in his transcendental man theory.”

Lilah tried to make her mouth work, to say something else but all she managed was an embarrassed chuckle. She could feel her cheeks burning.

“I’m so, so sorry…” she managed, voice coming out muffled. “I just…”

“Sometimes you forget to double-check what are you saying before putting it out there?” He asked with a soft smile and she nodded. “I do that all the time. Don’t worry.”

“Is there a way to fix that?” she asked, finally lowering her hands.

“I’ll let you know when I find it,” he replied with a little smile, before he ducked his head, letting out a small chuckle.

For a moment they just sat there, still chuckling together, cheeks red and awkwardly avoiding each other’s gaze, until someone cleared their throat behind them and making both turn around to look.

Isaac stood there with his hand pressed to the earpiece he wore and a clipboard in hand. Lilah could see he was barely containing his smirk as he looked between her and Keanu and she winced, wondering how much he had heard.

“Sorry to interrupt. Keanu, Chad needs you.”

“Thank you,” Keanu said getting up and turning to look at Lilah. “It was very nice to meet you, Lilah.”

“You too,” she replied with a small smile, watching as he walked away before turning to look at Isaac with wide eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me you worked with Keanu Reeves?”

“I don’t work with him, I work around him,” Isaac pointed out with a frown. “Also, that was the nerdiest flirting I’ve ever seen.”

“What are you talking about? I wasn’t flirting.”

“Yeah, right!” Isaac snorted in disbelief. “Come on. Break’s over.”

Lilah followed Isaac back to the main area of the set and the same table from before. This time, she caught a glimpse of Keanu chatting with one of the directors. She thought his lips quirked into a smile when he saw her, but she was probably just imagining as she sat down again.

“Shit! I should have asked for an autograph. Or is that too weird?” Lilah asked Isaac.

She was doing so well, but that Kant thing threw her off and she went right back to that strange awkwardness she usually had around people she found attractive. Lilah really thought she had outgrown that.

“It’s not weird. Extras ask for autographs all the time,” Isaac said with a shrug. “And maybe while you at it, you can ask him out.”

“Haha.” Lilah rolled her eyes at the way Isaac wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Isaac, no! It’s Keanu Reeves. Are you nuts?”

“Fine,” he replied with a huff, but the glint of amusement in his eyes didn’t fade. “But you do know what that felt like right?”

Lilah frowned in confusion and he flashed her an excited grin.

“It felt straight out of a rom-com.”

tbc

Go to part 2

Taglist (give me a shout if you want to added.)

@poisonedjoinery @ringa-starr @curly-minnie @i-cant-remember-my-old-login

@caryled @beyond-antares @kathorax @krazycags01 @meetmeinthematinee

@red-pill-blue-pill @baphometwolf666

#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves x ofc #fanfic #this isn't a rom-com #series #original character

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alphawave-writes · 5 years ago

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Play me a memory--A sigma fic

Summary: Sigma hopes to transcribe the universe's melody, in hopes of awakening his true powers, but gets more than he bargains for when the government facility he has escaped from has found him once again.

Read it here, or find it on AO3

Sigma sits in front of a piano. Not the Bechstein studio grand piano that used to sit in his apartment in The Hague but a cheap, upright Yamaha instead. He knows it is old just from the touch, the damp thud of the keys and the slow responsiveness of the pedals. Most aggravating of all is the tuning, the way the notes sound off to his ears. He does not have perfect pitch, and he never will, but if he concentrates hard enough, he can feel the shape of a note. Middle C is a yellow circle, and if he rises it up to a D, it transforms into an orange triangle. He hypothesizes that his abilities over gravity have given him a sensitivity to the electromagnetic waves that make up sound, but he cannot test this without rigorous testing. The beauty of these powers is that there are so many potential experiments and possibilities.

It’s been a long time since he’s played. Or at least, he thinks it’s been a long time. The last time he had touched a piano was one week before he went up to the international space station that caused his accident, but time is no longer linear and memories no longer make sense and he cannot say how many years have already passed since then. Has it been three years or longer? He cannot say.

He very much prefers listening to music rather than playing it, but he does not have that luxury. Talon is many things but it is not a musically inclined organization. His previous request for an parabolic microphone must have fallen upon flat ears for the next day he gets a regular microphone, the kind used for karaoke parties. It didn’t even have the batteries in it. So it is a miracle of sorts that his request for a piano got through. It was probably salvaged from a nearby dump, but it is still in working order, and he is grateful for whatever gifts Talon bestow upon him.

His body suddenly stiffens as he feels a shift in the air. He turns his head slowly, eyes wide as he finds himself staring back into his face. Only it’s not his face but another version of him, decked out in the orange jumpsuit that government facility crafted specifically for him. His copy smirks sinisterly.

“Gravity is like sanity. All you need is a little push.”

“W-w-what?”

“They called the geniuses of old insane back in their times.”

He is frozen in fear, staring into a face that is his but not his. The other approaches him and places his hands on his shoulders. He can feel the energy being sapped away from his body, his twisted mirror image growing larger, impossibly larger than him. As the energy leaves his body, he can feel his mind clearing. As his mind clears, he can see this twisted alter ego for what it truly is. It is sin, the devil in disguise. And behind that disguise is the black hole that destroyed his career and his mind. And it laughs. It laughs so viciously.

He feels his body suddenly being rattled back and forth, and his mind is clouded once more. The cloned image of him is gone, replaced by an annoyed woman with chocolate skin and purple lips. Her hair is parted to one side, showcasing the cybernetic implants glowing on her skull.

“Are you OK, old man?” She huffs.

Sigma is about to say “no” but he shakes his head and clears himself of the hallucination. It is easier to keep the fractured pieces of his mind together when he has a familiar face by his side. “Y-yes, I’m OK. Sorry if I scared you, Miss Olivia.”

“Ay, don’t call me that. Call me ‘Sombra’ like everybody else.”

“Sorry. I’ll…try and remember for next time.”

“I give myself a cool name and no one takes it seriously anymore,” she mutters to herself. Her eyes fall on the piano. “We have a piano? When’d we get one?”

Sigma smiles, relieved for the change of subject. “I asked Talon to provide it for me. I told them it was necessary for my experiments.” He raises his eyebrows. “I guess you could say this is an instrument in more ways than one.”

Sombra makes a face that is a cross between a cringe and a wince. A lot of people make that face when he tells jokes. So many years later and people still do not appreciate a good pun.

“A-anyway, I had a breakthrough last night,” he continues. “I have harnessed the harness that is gravity, but I have yet to maintain it in whatever shape and form I desire. I was at a roadblock. Then, it hit me! I’ve been thinking about it all wrong, you see. I’ve been trying to use my equations and quantum instruments to further my research, but I’ve yet to use the most important tool at my disposal.” He smiles in excitement. “I’ve got the universe’s melody in my head, playing on repeat. I’ve heard it so many times before, so I must be able to play it in the real world. If my theories are correct, it is as simple as transcribing a piece of music by ear.” He plays a chord and frowns. “Unfortunately, it seems music appreciation does not equate to music composition.”

“Wait wait, so you’re telling me that playing the piano,” she gestures wildly at the object, “is going to help you create a black hole again?”

His eyes brighten. “Yes. That’s precisely it! I knew you would understand.”

Sombra raises her eyebrows in disbelief. Out of all the Talon operatives that Sigma has encountered, she is the least judgmental—or rather, she is the least likely to dismiss his ramblings completely. She can be rather judgmental when she wants to be, often when it comes to Reaper and Widowmaker, but she makes no remarks about him. Perhaps she thinks it is bad taste to make fun of a man crippled psychologically like he is. Or maybe she doesn’t care enough to say anything about it.

He turns back to the piano and starts playing discordant notes. It has been years since he played but he remembers how to lie his hands, where the keys were, how to make his fingers glide over the faux ivory. He’s almost startled by the ease in which he remembers, because he knows he cannot account this for mere muscle memory alone. There are some things people do not forget, he knows that, but it’s unnatural how comfortable he feels in front of the piano.

It’s almost as if he is supposed to be here. Like the universe is calling to him from within the hidden strings. His fingers fly across as if in a trance. He hears the whispering in the air, but he’s not sure if it’s the benevolent universe or the demonic other or some other creature outside the confines of time and space that have decided to play their games with him. He listens and copies their words. A dark expanse of his own creation surrounds him as his eyes turn cloudy.

He hears someone snap their fingers impatiently in his ears, and turns to find Sombra next to him. She looks annoyed but there’s a familiar shimmer of pity in her eyes. It betrays her, just like his mind betrays him.

“Earth to Sigma.”

He winces. “My apologies.”

“I don’t know what goes on inside your head. You have the thingy on. The pedal. You’re pressing on it.”

He glances down at his feet, which are currently covered in pink wooly socks. They are expensive, and currently his only frivolous purchase since joining Talon. He does not remember putting them on, or when he bought them, or why he chose pink of all colours. On closer inspection, he sees that his foot is firmly pressing down on the right pedal.

“Oh,” he says, surprised himself. “So I have.”

Sombra groans loudly. “I don’t know why they tell me to watch you. I just wanna go back to my computer and watch some videos. Play some games. Hack some dudes or something.”

Sigma frowns. “You do not have to supervise me if you don’t want to, Miss Oli—I mean, Sombra.”

“Nah, the boss will kill me if I do that. I gotta make sure you don’t get yourself into danger.” She walks over to the side and leans dramatically over the top of the piano. “C’mon, piano man. Play a song.”

“This piano is for research. It is certainly not to be played with.”

“But I’m so booored.” She rests her head on her arms. “You must know some song, right? Play me one.”

“I shouldn’t…” he begins to say, but his mind is already buzzing with the songs of his past. One sticks with him, imprinted in his soul. A song from his past that spoke of simpler times.

He looks up into her eyes and falls victim for her doe eyes. He takes a deep breath, composes himself as best as he can, and begins to play Erik Satie’s Gnossienne 1.

It’s not long before he gets lost in the melody. Music is a language as easy to speak as English and Dutch. Sentences flow from his fingertips, time condensed into notes and sounds. Dark magic threads and twists from his wrist as gravity lifts up and away from his body. His mind drifts away to become one with the song, splinters of his childhood resurfacing. Images of his piano instructor in his majestic home, stern and imposing. His father falls asleep for the last time in his study, the sky outside the window going from day to night, the stars twinkling in rhythm to the invisible song.

Objects float and fly above him. Particles transform into one-dimensional strings that ascend into higher dimensions. The piano rises with him. There’s a yelp of surprise. “Let me down, let me down!”

His eyes widen as he finally notices Sombra, flailing her arms as she floats helplessly in the air. In that instant the spell is broken and the world returns to clarity. Gravity returns with a shuddering thud as the two of them crash back down into orbit. He is able to land gently. Sombra does not have the same luck.

“D-Dios mio, you’re going to kill me!” She hisses, rubbing her backside painfully. He doesn’t want to tell her how lucky she was. A few centimetres to the right and she would have been trapped under the piano. On one or more occasion, he has commended Talon for having the mindfulness of nailing everything in his lab down. It has prevented more than a few accidents due to his ever shifting powers.

She looks at him sternly, fire in her eyes. He shrinks a little.

“I’ve theorized for a while that my abilities are linked to my mental and emotional state. It seems music is able to amplify my abilities.” Sigma puts his hand on his chin and frowns. “Perhaps later I can determine the source of this ‘amplification’ and utilize it myself. Right now, however, it is an unfortunate complication to my experiments.”

“I’ll say. You’re going to hurt yourself at this rate.”

“I realise that, but I am close, I can feel it.” His hands glide over the dusty top of the piano. “If I can just find the correct song, I might be able to harness the fullest potential of my abilities.”

“Then maybe put the piano in a different room? So you don’t destroy everything in this room if you do find it?” She suggests.

“No, I…it’s better that I am here, where I cannot hurt anyone.”

Death has unfortunately become the new norm in his life. As payment, Talon tasks him with going on missions with their officers, and that often leads to a battle to the death. No one expects an old man like him to fight, and they definitely do not expect to be flung around like paper ragdolls in the wind. It’s frightening how the guilt washes away easier the more blood he must spill. During one such mission, he almost found himself enjoying the violence.

He places his fingers back on the keys. Sombra takes her place in the far corner of the room and watches warily, away from danger. There are no more fluctuations in gravity that day.

He plays and he plays, morning day and night, but he is no closer to his goal. He has continued his normal experiments, with the piano experiments continuing during his break. He eats and drinks and sleeps, but it is at a bare minimum. Why is it now, when he seeks out the song does it decide to run away? Why is this silence louder than noise, overwhelming him with nothingness? Why is it when his mind has never been clearer does a part of him yearn for the spark of insanity?

There is madness in his actions, but it is controlled and tempered. His equations are correct, as they always have been. He has ripped out a bit of paper to write sheet music on and has done his best to interpret the song. He can only work through sound. If only he knows an expert in music composition, or sound engineering. His understanding of sound is limited to his extensive knowledge of electromagnetic waves. Tonality, timbre, chord structure, they are patterns he hears but does not understand.

It’s late at night but he presses onward. He’s close, so very close, and he must work now while his mind is still whole. The pieces never hold together for this long, and sooner or later it will fracture, but he must press onward while he still has control. He wants to feel normal, and to feel normal is to surround himself in his research, pushing forward to new limits and new heights. The stars call out for his name. First he must understand and master his abilities. Then he can continue his original dream to see the stars outside their humble galaxy and walk on the surface of planets that are not his home.

He doesn’t hear the thudding footsteps approaching in the dead of night. He doesn’t notice the red light on the security camera suddenly go dark or the crack of his lab door breaking open. It’s only when he hears the unmistakable sound of a gun’s safety being taken off that he finally notices that he’s no longer alone. Three men stand before him, each training their guns on him. The sigil of the government facility he escaped from is displayed fully on their uniforms. It taunts him in a way that a gun to the head cannot. His heart leaps out from his chest.

“Subject Sigma,” one of them barks. “Come with us quietly, or we will shoot.”

Despite every instinct in his body, he cannot move. He is frozen in place in front of the piano, trapped, as if he is still tied down to that accursed bed, like his freedom and everything since is a dream he has conjured. He can imagine their hands forcing him into horribly itchy orange jumpsuit, the unprofessional way they injected their sedatives into him, the way they talk about him like he’s beneath humanity, a hideous creature without thought or intelligence.

“Didn’t you hear what he said?” A second soldier growls. “Get a move on!”

His eyes glance around, desperate for a way to escape, but there is none. The exits are watched by more soldiers. The very safety features within this room, designed to minimize the harm he can cause with his powers, are now the portents of his doom. In this section of Talon’s HQ, no one will hear him if he screams, and even if someone does, he will have less than a second before he’s shot dead. He might be able to block or absorb most of the bullets, but it will be futile. It will buy him seconds, maybe a minute. It’s not enough.

Even the voice that screams for violence in his ear is unnaturally quiet. It knows that taking the offensive will not help them survive in this situation. They’re trapped.

The third man steps forward, a curious smile spreading across their face. He orders the other men to stand down. As Sigma watches, he sees that this man is not dressed like the others. He wore glasses over his eyes instead of the tactical masks everyone else did, and his uniform has the markings of a combat medic rather than a soldier.

“It’s good to see you again, Siebren.”

The realization floods him with a feeling of terror but he hides it behind his gritting teeth. This is the doctor that was in charge of him back then. This was his torturer above torturers, Satan amongst the demons. “Dubrovnik,” Sigma spat.

“You’ve done well for yourself, haven’t you? A nice fancy lab, some powerful friends on your side,” His eyes glance down. “Loving the socks. Really sells the old man look.”

“What do you want?”

“To finish my job, and that is to keep you contained,” Dubrovnik said.

“You cannot stop progress.”

“You are a threat to humanity.”

“I am in control.”

“Until when?!”

Sigma stiffens. Dubrovnik puts his gun away and approaches slowly, the hunter coming to collect his prize. Sigma doesn’t react when Dubrovnik tugs his chin forward, jerking his head up to look into those cold, black eyes. Dubrovnik is significantly shorter than him, but in his seated position, their heights are roughly equal. It’s a frighteningly familiar feeling, being manhandled like this, like he is just a piece of trash on the ground.

He wants to choke him, make him suffer, make him hurt in all the ways he has been hurt, but he can’t and Dubrovnik knows this. Dubrovnik relishes in it. He was, and still is, a sadist.

“Out of the oven and into the fire, right, Siebren?”

“What are you talking about?” He rasped.

“You don’t know what Talon is?”

“They saved me!”

“You never thought why?” Dubrovnik’s lips curl. “I’ll tell you why. It’s because they want a weapon. They want Excalbur, and you happen to be the one who pulled it out of the stone. They want war, Siebren, they don’t care about you. As soon as they can wield Excalibur for themselves, they will throw you away like trash. And when they have Excalibur, no one will be able to stop them. They are terrorists. You know this.”

He wants to tell Dubrovnik that he’s wrong, that Talon is an organization of intelligent men and women who want to help humanity take the next big step, but he sees the heat in Dubrovnik’s eyes and he cannot help but take pause. Dubrovnik truly believes this. But why? He is needed, he is important. They will not go through the trouble of saving one man unless he’s important. They have been so kind to him, provided so much for him. They will not abandon him…right?

Dubrovnik takes a step back, Sigma rubbing his neck self-consciously. He’s not sure he imagines it but there’s a flicker in Dubrovnik’s eyes, almost like he pities him.

“If you come with us, we will help you subdue these powers. No one will hurt you or use you. I promise.”

“How can you promise that, you Croatian hypocrite?” Sigma snarls.

“Because no one should wield the powers you wield. Not you. Not Talon. No one.”

Dubrovnik puts his hand out and Sigma is left dazed. He glances around at the guards, emotionlessly watching the exchange. As far as Sigma can tell, Dubrovnik is sincere. And that terrifies him, because Dubrovnik knows something he doesn’t. About Talon, probably.

Sigma realizes in that moment how little he knows about Talon. All he knows is that they support cutting edge research, and have a private military to protect themselves. What is Talon’s goal? Why did they bother with an old man like him?

He almost reaches for that hand, but Dubrovnik’s form swirls and shifts and suddenly his mirror image is standing there, orange jumpsuit and bitter smile and all.

“Will you really submit yourself to him again?”

“What else can I do?”

“You know what to do.”

The mirror image gestures behind Sigma, pointing at the piano. His skin pales.

“I-I can’t. I need to hold it together.”

“A little push,” they say as Dubrovnik appears once again from the smoke. The mirror image is no more.

“If you’re done with your muttering, would you kindly come with me, Siebren?”

Sigma turns back to the piano, his eyes wide. He can hear the melody again. The universe is speaking for him again. It asks him to play its song. It shows him the chords. It tells him the price it will wreak upon his mind.

It’s a price he is willing to pay this time. He turns around and opens the lid for the piano.

“What are you doing?” Dubrovnik asks.

“Let me play one more song before I go,” he says. “It’s my final request.”

He sees the blank faces looking at him in the reflection of the lacquered wood. In the darkness he finds his place on the faux ivory easily. He presses his foot lightly down on the pedal, spreads his fingers on the keys, and pushes his fractured mind off the cliffside. With perfect precision he plays a song of his own creation, a tribute to the song the universe sings.

Memories of his past resurface. The bitter judgment of his academic rivals, the callous disregard of his piano instructor, the stars in the sky, the sorrow of losing his home, the rage of knowing no one cared enough to find him. Dark emotions coalesce into space as gravity releases itself from its chains, sending everyone in the lab flying. There’s screams and shouts as guns are ripped from people’s grasps. Dubrovnik is saying something to him. A plea, a beg, something along those lines, but all Sigma can see is the cosmos expanding, with him at the epicenter. He’s no longer playing the piano; gravity is doing the work for him. He flies above everyone else, his hand outstretched. With every bit of himself he loses, he gains control. The dark voice in his brain laughs in murderous glee.

“D-d-don’t do this, Siebren, please! You’re better than this! You’re not a murderer!”

Alarms are going off above his head, painting the room a bright red. People are holding onto each other, trying to hold on. They know what is coming before he does. Despite the chaos and turmoil before him, he is strangely at peace. The universe sings its lullaby to him from the piano. There is no time signature, no bars, no rhyme or reason. It should not work, but it does.

A placid smile escapes his lips as he brings everyone crashing down. The crunch of broken bones is followed shortly by the bellows of pain. The dark voice takes over, grabbing one of the guns, still hovering up in the air. He shoots—not accurately, but he shoots. There is silence, save for the klaxon above his head and the whimper of one more person.

Dubrovnik crawls towards the door, broken. His left shin bone is sticking out from his pants, trailing blood. Sigma calmly floats forward, the dark voice in control as he pushes the might of gravity upon Dubrovnik’s head. There’s a gasp of air, and then the crunch of bone, and finally a squish. Red liquid oozes out of every hole of Dubrovnik’s head.

It’s not long before Talon realizes the reason for the breach in their HQ. Reaper and Widowmaker are the first ones there, guns at the ready. They round the corner to Sigma’s office down, ready to fight, only to discover the aftermath of a bloodbath. The entire lab is splattered in crimson, dead bodies lying in crooked angles and twisted postures. A pile of guns are stacked in one corner, all crushed and broken. By the door, a man's head looks to have been squeezed together.

Sigma sits alone on the piano stool in front of the cheap, upright Yamaha piano. He is perfectly clean, as is the piano. As they tiptoe over the bodies, careful to not step on the blood, Sigma turns to them with a stern but relaxed expression.

“You’re late,” he says, before waving dismissively. “It’s fine, though. I handled it. I think I even learned a new trick or two.”

If Reaper is not wearing his mask, they would see his mouth open and shut. He’s speechless.

“Since you’re here, how about a song?” Sigma cracks his knuckles and places his fingers on the keys. “How about ‘Piano Man’ by Billy Joel? An old classic.”

No one says anything. Reaper and Widowmaker stand there while Sigma plays and sings along from memory. They do not move. Their eyes are concentrated on the swirling dark energy hovering over the piano, bopping in tune to the beat of the song.

#Overwatch #Sigma #Sigma overwatch #Siebren de kuiper #alphawave-writes #I've already written 3 fics on this character #and I haven't even PLAYED HIM YET #I will when he comes to PS4 but that's like WEEKS AWAY #UGH!#Anyway if you like this story you can help me out by reblogging #or by giving a comment on the AO3 link #I wanna hear what you guys think #even if you're just screaming into the void #Which is understandable

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ajokeformur-ray · 5 years ago

Text

From oldest to newest ~ Erika answers asks ~

hailmary-yramliah said: Wait I’m really tripping out. I realized you were following me on Tumblr and I didn’t even know?!?!?!? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR FICS LIKE WTF IM SO SLOW BUT THANK YOU YOURE LIKE ACTUALLY AMAZING AND ME STANNING YOU RN MAKES ME EMBARRASSED BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT YOU ARE SO TALENTED!!! Ahhhhh I love your Arthur/Joker fics XD

Thank you so so much!!! <33333 This means so much to me! <3333 I hope you continue to enjoy the works that I work so hard on x

Anonymous said:Ngl I feel like it’s wrong to like Arthur & read fics about him only bc my sis thinks it’s weird af. Our interests are complete opposite & finds mine very weird and it kinda makes me sad. I wish she loved the movie as much as me & understood my “obsessions” as she calls them. Anyways, love your fics sm! You’ve gotten me into this fandom so quickly and I love it! 💕

Your sister sounds just like my, and others’, family. They don’t understand because the film wasn’t for them. It was for people like us who see Arthur and who understand him. If you find enjoyment in something, darling, most especially if it’s fictional (though very realistic), then there’s no shame in indulging in it. Thank you very much, that means a lot! <3

insfirebunny said: Ok As you might see rn I make myself comfortable in your blog. Hope you don't mind. I enjoy every single one story of yours. You write so beautifully that it's magical. Take care of yourself, sunshine ☀

I don’t mind at all, I’m flattered, thank you so, so much! <33333 take care of yourself too!!!!

Anonymous said: Would you rather date Arthur or Joker??

To me, Arthur never went insane and ‘became’ Joker. He’s not the insane one; the world is mad. So I would date Arthur and I would love him and protect him and help him (everything I write about is everything I would do for him; the things I write for others are very self-indulgent lmao I have no shame) and if, in his own time, he grew into himself (Joker), then I would still love and support him just the same. I don’t think he went mad - I think he just dropped everything holding him down, holding him back, and said “fuck the world”. And honestly? That’s a big fucking mood.

Anonymous said: Okay speaking of the multiverse theory, what is your view on it regarding fictional characters. I personally believe that not only do they exist, but with the right skills you could connect with them in some way.

Since I was a child, for as long as I could remember, I’ve had this super vivid made up, carefully crafted world inside my head with all my most loved characters. I have spent my life inside my head daydreaming. I’ve never needed real life friends because I have my imagination and though I tried to make friends. I tried so hard but I never got anywhere because I was a freak, I was this and that etc. etc. (I was bullied for like 15 years lmao fuck ‘em) and so I stayed inside my head and didn’t bother trying to cross that invisible glass wall between me and everyone else. I’m 22 and I still haven’t bothered to try; it’s cosy here so I’ll stay inside my head where I can make others happy with my daydreams. But I digress - I like to think that our loves know that we love them. Every thought, every tear, every daydream, every squeal, every pillow we’ve squeezed wanting to be them, every imagine, everything we have done or do because of them, for them, they know. They see it; they feel it. I like to believe that Arthur Fleck knows how deeply he is loved and cherished he is by all of us and more than that - he loves us all just as fiercely, and he’s so, so proud of all of us. (Also lowkey I know it’s your skin shifting due to temperature changes etc. but you know when you think you feel a hand on your shoulder or fingers in your hair when you’re like half asleep and just dozing??? Or when you have a dream of him? That’s Arthur reaching out to us in the only way he can to say he knows, he sees and he loves us too.)

Anonymous said: I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH! Like it’s crazy how good you write

Thank you so, so much!!! <3333333 I work .v. hard (one piece can take up to three hours, though the longest I’ve ever spent on a piece (Coming Home To You) was six hours. I still say that is the best thing I’ve ever written, so that means a lot! <3

Anonymous said: I love Joker from our dearly beloved 2019 Joker movie as well as Joker from The Dark Night. I can't choose which I love more so why not both! At the same time! ifyouknowwhatimsaying 👀👀👀

Sksksksksksk I believe @gothamslittlejester can help you out here lmao she’s written for poly!readerxJokerxJoker so go check out her works; they’re phenomenal! <3

Anonymous said: There's a tornado warning in my area. We NEVER get tornado warnings, like ever, so I'm kind of scared.

Ohmygoodness please stay safe, darling!!! I’ve never experienced any kind of natural phenomena like that so I can’t imagine how scary that must be! I hope everything turned out well x

Anonymous said: I read what happened to you at work and deeply sorry. I’m sure you are more than aware of this but their reaction is a reflection of themselves than of you. You have the full power to enjoy and like what you please. Also, it is okay to bite back when it is needed. It may be hard to, but sometimes it’s healthy to stand up for yourself at times. Of course it is easier said than done. Remember you’re a goddess! Take back your power ✨

Thank you so, so much!!!! I’m not really all that affected by what happened anymore; it was only a week ago but already I’ve reached that nice part of apathy where you still care but you’re like, aa fuck it, I don’t wanna be hurt by it anymore. Standing up for myself is very hard; I’m a lot like Arthur in that respect: I put my head down, bite my tongue and take it because I hate confrontation. I hate it so much so I’d rather stay quiet. My parents told me I need to be a bit less Arthur and a bit more Joker; maybe in time that bite will come to me xp thank you honey! Your words mean a lot; I’m always here if you ever wanna talk about anything!!!

Anonymous said: I just read what you said about your coworkers. Honestly that's so horrible and I hope you're feeling better soon. ♡ I feel you so much, things like that happened to me all the time while I was still in school. But please, don't hate yourself. You have such a beautiful mind, you have talent & creativity most of them couldn't even dream of. It's not your fault that they can't see how beautiful being an introvert & a daydreamer can be. You're wonderful the way you are. ♡ ( @buried-in-windy-meadows )

I’m so sorry that you had to experience that, too, it’s an awful feeling when you try to be yourself and people are mean. I hope you know that they are no reflection on you, as the previous anon says - it’s all on them! Thank you so much; your words mean a lot <3 I’ve always been this way, for as long as I can remember I’ve lived inside my head, so I see no reason to change; I’m happy in, not necessarily myself, but my imagination and my creativity is my favourite part of myself (even when I’m at war with the rest of me, I can find solace in my imagination and I’m very lucky to have that) and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Anonymous said: I’m pretty sure you’re on the opposite side of the world from me so I just wanted to let you know your words and your attitude are making someone on the other side of the planet smile. We are all so lucky to have you and to have this movie to connect us. It makes me feel really human 🧡

This film is without a doubt the best thing that’s ever happened to me - we’ve all found a home, a place to go to vent and to write and to support each other and it’s so beautiful how such a tragic, grisly and dark film has brought light to so many of us. Arthur would adore it, I know he would. Thank you, darling, this means a lot to me! Please know I’m always here for you should you ever need anything or just wanna drop a line! <3

rafaelina-casillas said:Aw, I'm so so sorry that happened to you! People can be so nasty - especially to those who never deserved it! I hope you're feeling a lot better now! I can only say that in my country (where Halloween is not a tradition but more and more people are celebrating it) I saw at least 5 or 6 people in less than an hour who were doing the same makeup as you - and no one tried to mock them. I guess you had the worst luck with your colleagues but try to not mind them. They don't deserve your nerves! 💖

Exactly! I didn’t go out with my makeup, I just stayed home and enjoyed my private and personal display of love for Joker - I’m sure he’d have been flattered! And I dared to open up to my colleagues; it’s a mistake I won’t make twice, that’s for sure. Thank you, you’re always so kind to me and it means a lot - will have to DM you soon!

insfirebunny said: You look so cute and your writing is a pure gold. Stay strong

Thank you so, so much, you’re too kind!!! Take care of yourself, love! <3

Anonymous said: binge watching Batman: The Animated Series this weekend. Mark Hamil’s joker is amazing tbh

I’ll have to check that out; see if it’s on Netflix or Youtube. I hope you had a wonderful weekend! <3

theclownsqueen said: Hi! Im a new page, i love your page so much and your work is amazing! Sorry just thought I'd drop by. :)

Yeeeees ohmygoodness I gotta reply to your DM; I’ve got so many lmao <3333 thank you so much, you’re far too kind, I hope you continue to enjoy my works; I’m always here if you need anything x

Anonymous said: I relate to Arthur so bad. I’ve always been a loner and really shy, plus I’ve been helping out my mother a lot with financial problems. Once I saw the movie in theaters I just fell in love with it and it really brings me joy to read your fics. I just wish I wouldn’t get labeled a weirdo or freak for openly expressing that I like Arthur. Just makes me feel ashamed for liking something which sucks.

Thank you, darling - I’m glad my works can bring you joy; that’s really all I want to do with my writing is to help people in the moments they most need it. Even if all I manage to do is make your lips quirk upwards, that means I’ve done what I set out to do! I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time of it and I hope things start to look up for you soon! <3 The people who should feel ashamed are the ones labelling you for expressing yourself; truly, they’re the punchline of the joke Arthur was laughing at during the end of the film. Don’t let them take your sun from you, love - that means they’re winning. Please know I’m always here for you; don’t be afraid to drop me a line! <3

Anonymous said: I love your writing!

Thanks, honey! That means a lot <3

Anonymous said: Any tips for fic writers out there? Love your work btw!

There’s so much I could tell you but honestly, rules and guidelines don’t matter. Just have fun with it. Write what you wanna write in the way you wanna write it, when you wanna write it, and if anyone doesn’t like it, then who cares? Do it for you, even if you’re fulfilling requests for other people. Step back when you gotta, don’t be afraid to turn down writing requests if you don’t gel with them or you just don’t wanna or you’re not comfy with it, and really just have fun. If you have fun with the work you put in, then it’ll shine through and people’ll love it!

writings-of-a-gen-z said: hey love hope everythings going okay for you and the world isnt being too mean x

You’re too good to me, you always are. Thanks, love, and the same for you <3 sending hugs and love!

jibanyyan submitted:

I love your writing so so so so much you don’t even know it! I get excited each time I get notified that you posted again and I even take my time to read them in uni!!!

Just know that I love your blog and you can always reach out to me if you need someone to talk to even though we don’t know each other!

Much love goes out to you love xx

Thank you so, so much omgggggg you’re always so kind and supportive and it’s???? amazing ???? Please know the same for you; I’m almost always online when I’m not at work (even when I’m studying I have tumblr open in case people need me lmao) so I’ll reply .p. quickly! <3333 thank you so much omgggg sending you loads of love and hugs, I hope you’re well!

harlyquln said: when do you plan on opening requests again? 🥵

I’m not sure yet, love, but because I love to put myself under pressure lmao because nothing will make you work like an impending deadline, shall we say the beginning of December? That gives me just under 3 weeks to write almost 40 requests and honestly, that seems reasonable (ish). <3

Anonymous said: your comfort fics are always so beautiful 💕 i’ve never felt like i was actually IN an imagine before i read one of yours. you’re honestly one of my fav authors

Omggggg thank youuuuuu~ comfort fics are my favourite thing to write so that means so much! <3

kat-o-combs said: Good morning sunshine ☺️ I hope your day is going well. You deserve happiness, comfort, and contentment 💕 love ya!

Omgggg you’re always so good to me wtfffff <3333 thank youuu I hope the same for you too; you deserve all the best things in life! Love you too x

Anonymous said: Hope you're gonna feel better! I've discovered your blog... a week ago, I think, and your stories have helped me more than you'll ever know. I find a lot of comfort and support to keep me going when I read your stories and I'm so thankful for your blog. :)

Helping people with my writing is a literal dream so thank you for telling me this! When I write the softer comfort imagines, they’re very emotionally draining and I have to dig deep to write them so usually I come away feeling old wounds and pretty tired in myself; I take care of myself in the ways I know helps (funnily enough, writing is both the issue and the solution) and I come back out on top. Thank you very much for telling me this, I’m glad I’m able to help you! <3

Anonymous said: Awww I hope you feel better soon!!

I do, darling, thank you so much x

Anonymous said: Sneaking up to nuzzle Arthur, then blowing a raspberry on his neck and watching him grin and shy away with a giggle.

Yeeeees~ lmaooooo it’s what he deserves!!!!!! <33333

Anonymous said: I saw joker for the second time and I think I've finally accepted in myself what you had a while ago. Arthur feels like home, he feels like comfort. When he would be dancing or just even smile I felt like I was there and I felt like everything was okay. I've fallen in love with a fictional character, but I can accept that. Because escaping with him brings me so much joy and love, I cant imagine being without it

Neither can I, nonnie. I’ve felt love for characters before but never like this. Never. I never wanna be without him or without this community again. We found a home in Arthur Fleck and fuck he’d love that so much. I’m glad he’s able to to bring you joy and love, it’s all he’d want for you and he’d be so proud of you!!! <3

Anonymous said: I had a dream about arthur last night???? Like I got into a car crash and he came and got me and brought me home and cuddled me and gave me kisses and honestly the dream was super scattered but so nice wow

That sounds like such a lovely dream omg loving Arthur and being loved right back??? Where do we sign up?? <3

Anonymous said: wish i could make Arthur a flower crown right now god damn

A) he’d look so fucking cute and B) he’d wear it around the apartment all the time omgggggg ~ he’d never wear it outside bc he’s scared it’ll get lost or stolen or broken but at home he’d cherish it so much and he’d look adorable ohhhh~ ;33333

Anonymous said: Hey, Ily and all though I'm not the biggest fan of Joker fics I just want you to know I still support and care for you

Thank you honey, this means a lot!!!! If this isn’t your scene, you’re welcome to unfollow, I won’t be mad or anything at all. Thank you for your continued support if you decide to stay, though, it means so much x

rebs-doom said:reminder that u r my fave person bye

Come here and let me love you, you precious, beautiful soul. I love you so much.

Anonymous said: What do you get when you cross a sad, touch-starved man with a blog that cherishes him and treats him well? I'll tell you what you get, you get what you fucking deserve. *smooch*

Can you imagine:

“Hey, Arthur?”

Arthur made a soft noise of acknowledgement from where he was sleepily cuddled into your side.

“Wanna hear a joke?”

“Mm,” He chuckled, “What?” He blearily opened his eyes to gaze at you fondly.

*You tell him this joke but swap ‘blog’ for ‘person’ and kiss him before he can react*

And see how fast he gives you what you deserve ;) ;)

(high key it’d become a way for you to say ‘i love you’ without saying it. Like, “you’re always so good to me” // “it’s what you deserve”) <333 sweet boi deserves the world.

Anonymous said: Can I just say how much of a blessing you are to the Arthur Fleck/Joker fandom!

Istg I’m drowning in all this love omggggg you’re far too kind to me I’m just a simple girl pouring out her love for Arthur/Joker into her blog because it’s got nowhere else to go <333333333 thank you so much!!! <3333

Anonymous said: I feel so sad for Arthur; he pretty much had the world against him from day one. I could only imagine some of the stuff he'd gone through when he was small. I just see baby Arthur lying in a filthy crib, crying for his mother's comfort or from hunger, and Penny just not even noticing it or caring.

I know :( it’s so tragic and dark and there are thousands of Arthur Flecks in real life who are unseen and defeated and broken down but they can’t get help but they’re trying and they work so hard and they just. Keep. Going. I left the cinema each time crying really hard and got home and cried some more for Arthur and for all the people, including myself, who watched the film and saw pieces of themselves in Arthur. When I think of Penny, I find it oddly funny that she always called him ‘Happy’ when he was anything but and it was only until she died that he became what she always thought he was. It’s beautifully ironic, in a strange way.

Okay, so uh... I gotta not let asks build up like that again lmao this took me two hours wowowowow <3333 I’m aiming to get some writing done today, there’s three or four pieces I’ve started and not finished so I’ll work on those. Thanks, loves, you have no idea how much you all mean to me! <3

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awed-frog · 5 years ago

Note

When you say romance should be 18 and over do you mean the brand of romance we know today (aka toxic) or romance as a whole? If we wrote healthy romance aimed at younger crowds or presented unhealthy behaviour as unhealthy behaviour in regular romance (for older crowds) would that be a good solution?

Well - I see three questions here, all of them incredibly complex and beyond interesting: should art be political and is censorship ever a good idea and also is the romance genre okay? The answer to all of them, in my opinion, is ‘no but’.

1) Should art be political?

The stupid thing is, art is inherently political, whether you want it to or not, but art that’s deliberately political tends to be awful, and that’s a universal truth both for left-wing stuff and for right-wing stuff. When you willingly create political stuff, what you’re crafting is propaganda, and proganda is generally sad and bad. I guess there is propaganda that’s also good art - Victor Hugo’s The Man Who Laughs comes to mind - but the problem is, not all of us are Victor Hugo.

That said, since whatever we create is political (because man is a social animal) and will have some kind of moral message, yes - ideally we want more art with an ethically ‘good’ moral message than we want garbage, because art (and here I include everything: books, movies and so on) is perhaps the most effective and impactful mind-shaper ever. That’s why Disney is doing its very best to be a monopoly, after all. But: I don’t have a good solution for how to ensure art is nice. I think art is nice when artists are nice, and artists are nice when they grow up in good, healthy societies. So the more a society rots from the inside out, the more likely it is you’ll find art that’s also rotten. I mean, while romance as a genre was always a bit dodgy (see below), what that article was talking about - the rise of the possessive, violent boyfriend and domestic abuse as the great love story - is sort of a recent phenomenon, and goes hand in hand with the deterioration of women’s rights in (Western) society.

(As an aside, I’m not sure I agree (young) women are necessarily misogynistic for reading crap like Fiftfy Shades: I think (young) women are exhausted. Fifty Shades is, more than anything, an ode to undeserved capitalism - the only kind that seems open as an option today. After all, we know trickle-down capitalism doesn’t work and most of us will toil and toil for very little; Christian Grey is the antidote to that, the guy who shows up, basically kidnaps you, and smothers you in a life of riches for which the only thing you must do in return is give up. Having someone else decide on your job, your car, your possessions and clothes, where you’ll live, what you’ll eat and when, whether you’ll take birth control (lol: obviously not), when you’ll see your friends and family plus when and how you’ll orgasm - what women tried to escape for generations is suddenly the dream for many of us - not because of any new political ideology, but because we’re beyond tired. Women, like men, are now crushed in a neverending cycle of bs, underpaid jobs, and are apparently fed up enough in taking responsibility for anything that not only romance and ‘superhuman’ characters are booming, but a very specific kind of subset of that: essentially, slave fics.

Just give up your agency, and you’ll be taken care of and cherished - forever.

I understand a kink is not the same as your actual political opinion, but still - I’m not enthusiastic about this trend, and I’m even less enthusiastic when it gobbles up young women who haven’t had time to experience real life relationships.)

No, I think that in the end, the answer is - if you reverse the rotting of society, automatically - statistically - you’ll get healthier artists and a healthier audience. So, really, the fight is always the same: better paid jobs, better (and free) schools, more opportunities for continued education of any kind, more democracy and transparency, more green spaces and better living conditions.

2) Is censorship ever a good idea?

Sadly, no. You’d think the logical conclusion of what I just said would be, ‘In the meantime, let’s ban the most dangerous stuff’ or something, and while part of me is tempted to support that, censorship has a way of ending very badly no matter how good and noble your intentions are.

(Self-censorship should be more of a thing, though: not everything that goes through our minds deserves to be seen and shared.)

What sucks at the moment is that on the one hand, capitalism is operating its own censorship; and on the other, its desperate search for new markets has led to a disastrous disintegration of actual human interactions.

So, problem one is that we only publish and market what makes a lot of money, and while that’s normal, to an extent, the result today is that everything is ‘almost the same’ as the previous thing (think sequels, prequels, remakes, obnoxious book covers for books that are basically all the same). So if ‘asshole boyfriend who beats you up’ suddenly makes money, it becomes very hard to escape the trope, because what will be offered to you everywhere is exactly that. This was less of a thing back when our main sources of entertainment were shared (movie theaters, the one family TV, school libraries and so on); now, it’s an epidemic, and as we see with Youtube algorithms, a dangerous one, because this obsession with watching and rewatching ‘almost the same’ inevitably leads to more and more extreme stuff.

Meanwhile, problem two is that the more tailor-made our entertainment is, the less we connect to real people. I know I sound about 90 here, but when all family members are glued to a different screen - mom watching the 50th remake of Eat, Pray, Love, dad down the rabbithole of lizard conspiracy theories, big brother now exploring some milk&peanut butter weirdness on Youporn and younger sister 30 fics deep into Stucky high school AUs - what do they have in common? What do they talk about? What can they even learn from each other? Until recently, and for aeons, fiction was shared, and its primary goal was to form a connection between group members. Now, that’s gone. We destroyed it, without even realizing what we were doing, in the space of twenty years. And yeah - I know you can create new communities, but a) these communities are virtual (which means, for the most part: not real) and b) they tend to connect like with like, which is comforting, perhaps, but not very useful. The whole point here is that we need to learn how to feel empathy and trust for those who’re different, and build a community with them - instead, what the internet is doing is isolating us inside our little bubbles, so much so that any minor disagreement is now seen as good reason to break off contact.

Censorship, however, doesn’t solve any of this. For starters, we need more regulation on how big corporations can get, what social media companies can and can’t do and who can access what kind of material. And it’d be great if we could all unplug a little, but uh - fat chance of that.

3) Is the romance genre okay?

Again, just my opinion, but personally, I mistrust it. There are no romance books for men? Instead, books for men feature a Main Character doing stuff and improving himself while accidentally meeting a Sexy Lamp he can go home to at the end of the story. And, well, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but isn’t this a healthier way to look at life? While good relationships are very meaningful (or even the most meaningful) part of any human life, if your goal is to get them, they won’t grow right. You shouldn’t be hyperfocused on finding love; I think it’s much better to be like Main Character: you work on your drawing skills, try a new sport, read poetry, defeat evil Russians, thus developing inner happiness and self-confidence, thus leading you towards towards a partner who’ll fall in love with who you are - not a partner who was looking for some empty shell to fill with their own expectations and preferences.

And I know - romance books and movies are full of exciting non-romantic events and stuff - but still, the fact they’re classified and intended as romance does imply that finding a romantic partner is the ultimate goal. Which, I don’t know, I don’t think it’s healthy, and is a particularly inappropriate message for young women. After all, why is it okay that young men are encouraged to go on ghost hunts, study dinosaurs and save the world while young women are taught to wait around for a broken (possibly violent, but it’s not his fault) bad boy only they can fix? It’s messed up, is what it is, and I may be extreme here, but even the tamest, sweetest romance revolves around the same message: that you’re not complete on your own, and that you should focus on relationships as a way to become a better, happier human being.

Now, as much as I love this quote -

“It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.” — Oscar Wilde

- obviously there’s no direct cause-and-effect here - you don’t read one book and become a mindless Stepford wife - so I’m not saying, ‘no one should read romance ever’. It’s just - as I said in that other post, we should all enjoy diverse stuff. Read your romance novels, but also read the classics, read some philosophy, a random poem, a badly-written thriller - read Stephen King, read how the OED was written, or a Wikipedia article on the French resistance - anything and everything. Because of capitalism, because of this push towards personalized entertainment, we’re being forced and pigeonholing ourselves in smaller and smaller cages, and the worst thing is - we’re comfortable inside them, because this is the awful truth: cages are comfortable, and that’s why we need to get out before we forget what cages are for.

[As a final point: you say ‘if we wrote’, does it mean you’re an aspiring writer? If so, you shouldn’t worry about any of this. You write what you want, you write the stories you want to read. Just remember to get out of your cage as well - experience, discover, grow, read, dare - and then put all that into your books. I’m sure they’ll be great, whatever your favourite genre.]

#ask #books #romance #entertainment #capitalism #ya #fifty shades of grey #narrative tropes #old woman yells at cloud #the end is nigh #i miss the 90s #potentially unpopular opinion

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my-sherlock221b · 5 years ago

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Fandoms , fanfiction and fans

Just came across a post on another Tumblr where someone was questioning an older person for being in a fandom.

It made me wonder if this attitude arises from a general belief that fandoms are somehow ‘frivolous’ and that older people should be more ‘mature’ and do ‘serious’ stuff. Like be professors perhaps, or read and write ‘real’ literature which wins Hugo awards or…oh wait !!

Been there done that folks.

The authors of Fangasm, unapologetic Supernatural fans are both Professors. Like for real. And Ao3 got nominated for and WON the Hugo Award 2019.

Here are excerpts from some articles that tell it all !

………………………………….

Fangasm is the brainchild of two university professors and unrepentant fangirls. Lynn Zubernis is a clinical psychologist and professor at West Chester University and Area Chair for Stardom and Fandom for the Southwest Popular Culture Association. Katherine Larsen teaches at George Washington University and is the Area Chair for Fan Theory and Culture for the Popular Culture Association. Kathy is the editor and Lynn on the editorial board of the Journal of Fandom Studies.

https://fangasmthebook.com/about/

………………………………………..

Everyone Who Contributed to Fanfiction Site “Archive of Our Own” Is Now a Hugo Award Winner.

2019 will be remembered as the year that fanfiction mothership Archive of Our Own won a Hugo Award. If you have ever contributed a fanwork to the site, you’re a part of this.

Many talented people won at the 2019 Hugos at WorldCon in Dublin

But what set Tumblr, Twitter, Discord, and text chats alight across the world was the news that Archive of Our Own won the Hugo for Best Related Fanwork. This was the Archive’s first time being nominated, news initially treated as somewhat contentious by those who still don’t want to try and understand the vital, ever-growing, incredibly rich and variegated culture of fan-created work.

Archive of Our Own’s win felt like a real victory for millions of us who write and create fanart, videos, podfic, meta essays, and more. It sure is nice to have that shiny rocket statue and acknowledgment from one of the most prestigious award-giving bodies in genre fiction that we are here and crafting wondrous things.

https://www.themarysue.com/archive-of-our-own-hugo-award-winner/

……………………………….

Is Fanfiction a valid form of literature?

It’s so easy to dismiss fanfiction as amusing stories written by those who aren’t quite serious enough to write ‘proper books.’ People who may not engage with fanfiction can easily brush it off as smut-ridden versions of more favorable original books and films. Fanfiction is like the underworld of popular movies and literature- and I feel it is time it stopped being overlooked..

The positives of fanfiction should also be considered, such as the voice it provides to marginalized LGBT+ communities. Popular literature often favors the heterosexual, leaving many without a role model or representation in popular works. So this is where fanfiction steps in- to provide the representation that many mainstream writers unfortunately overlook. In this way, fanfiction writers are helping society as a whole, not just small fanbases.

http://www.amreading.com/2016/10/17/is-fanfiction-a-valid-form-of-literature/

…………………………….

Also, WAY before fanfiction was being recognized as a genre, how about Paradise Lost by John Milton? As this article by Charlotte Ahlin explains in 11 classics that are secretly fanfiction:

Long before any fic writers were valiantly trying to defend Snape's honor, Milton was turning Satan himself into tragic hero. Like any good fic, Paradise Lost creates a wholly new perspective on an existing story.

Dante's Inferno (along with the rest of his Divine Comedy) is another Bible fic. But it's also a crossover fic and an author-insert fic, because Inferno is all about Dante himself going on a tour through Hell, and his tour guide is the Roman poet Virgil. Mythology, and the Bible into one brilliant piece of lengthy writing starring himself. And if that's not the spirit of fanfiction, I don't know what is.

Wait for it

ROMEO and JULIET??

He based his story on a poem: The Tragicall Historye of Romeus and Juliet. Yeah... he barely even changed their names. But he did insert his own OCs, like Mercutio and Paris; he did completely changed the style of writing; and he did make everyone's sexuality a lot more ambiguous, like any good fanfic writer would do.

Check out the article here:

https://www.bustle.com/articles/159041-11-classics-that-are-secretly-fanfiction

…………..

There are many (many!) students doing PhDs and Masters in Fandoms/ Fanfiction as their topics, endorsed by universities. There are many articles explaining how what Shakespeare wrote was also fanfiction in its own way.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/shakespeare-wrote-fanfiction-and-so-can-you

The Sherlock BBC series was Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ fanfiction based on ACD’s canon!

These articles are interesting to help re-calibrate the ‘respectability’ of fandoms and fanfiction.

Of course, on the other hand, it may not be worth the effort trying to inform or convert those who can’t see the joy that fandoms bring to everyone with their universality, but it is fun for us in fandoms to read anyway :)

So, enjoy!

#fandom #love is love #age is just a number #fanfiction #fangirl #fanfiction is literature #fandom is life

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larissaloki · 6 years ago

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Planet Platypus 1

This is a rehash of an old ask I received that year. I decided to redo it in a more fic like format to put onto Ao3.

Xeno porn ask again, but this is only if u feel like answering, cos I doubt you wanted to go that deep with porn, how did they meet? How did they fall in love? Do their friends approve? Is Steve a oomen or a yautja (I learned their name cos of you thanks)

Since humans managed to develop the technology to be able to go further out into space, exploring the infinite galaxies and stars that are scattered among the dark space, filling it with many wonders and mysteries to be discovered. Despite being an Omega, Tony promised himself he would be one of the first to explore the new places out there. Looking for other lifeforms.

Tony loved his group consisting of Bruce Banner and Janet van Dyne, the scientists that were there to take samples of the plants and dirt to analyse, using tech that Tony made to safely do so. He was happy that the other two never scoffed at his creations or tried to change his designs behind his back. They instead often marveled at his creation and praising his intellect and design.

Thinking that the world isn’t inhabited by many species that could pose a major threat if they were careful, the group set about doing their jobs. Carefully collecting samples of plants and the dirt in different areas to analyse back at camp later, sweating in their protective suits they elected to wear when collecting samples from possible dangerous areas.

Bucky and Steve saw from a distance a new craft come into the atmosphere of their hunting preserve planet, hunting season was over for now and they were just cleaning up their trophies and camps; when they saw this mysterious craft. Not one they recognised.

Together, they volunteered as elites of the clan to check it out and find out what has arrived at this planet, something worthy of a hunt? Another similar species that used this planet that they didn’t know about? Swiftly they made their way through the jungle using their knowledge of the layout to their advantage to get through as fast as possible. Soon they arrive at the landing site of the new craft and decide to observe for a while, decide if the new comers are worth their attention.

Hiding in the trees as they watch the oomans; much to their surprise, they didn’t think humans had this technology yet; make camp and explore the surrounding area, using small unfamiliar devises to take samples. Seemingly so far harmless stuff, the oomans they could see didn’t look like fighters either. Thin and smaller than the ones they prefer to hunt.

As they observe silently from the safety of the trees, they notice that the smallest one, an omega, seems to be the one in charge of the group. Often showing the other two scientists the new stuff that the smaller one was familiar with, possibly the one to have made it? (their close, the equipment was designed by Tony and Helen Cho they later find out) As well as the improved perimeter and defense systems. A series of well placed sensors that will alert them of incoming creatures silently, on a monitor they will see what it is and be able to decide of it needs chasing off or can be left alone.

When Bucky and Steve see these they can’t help but be impressed by this human and its creations, since the last time they saw human tech, it has advanced greatly. Something to perhaps bring up with their clan and look into doing more worthy hunts on earth again, now that they may prove more of a challenge.

They decide to keep an eye on this group. There are a few armed guards that keep watch that they are itching to hunt but restrain themselves, not wanting to give away their position.

As time goes on, the Yautja managing to keep out of sight the entire time using their camouflage tech, they use this chance to learn as much as they can as well, sending updates to their clan who had decided to stay away.

They always found humans biology weird but intriguing, many times the Yautja have pondered over the sub genders of human beings. What makes an Alpha and distinguishes them from the Beta’s and Omega’s. The Los Angelos clan had studied these in much more detail, even working out how to use them to their advantage.

Over time, Steve also watches as Bucky becomes more and more enamoured with the small omega of the group, who’s name they learnt was Tony. Seemingly attracted to the small Omega and trying to get closer to learn more about him, hiding by the tents to listen to their conversations, storing away as much as he can. Steve thought it to risky to get so close, opting to watch from a distance instead, but he couldn’t help the concern he felt for his comrade.

Steve made it his mission to keep an eye on Bucky more so than the humans, he doesn’t want his friend falling for someone that had a high possibility of rejecting him. The species were very different biology wise, they had no idea if the could even procreate with each other, none of this however, seemed to deter Bucky from his interest in the omega.

The first meeting between Bucky and Tony doesn’t happen until a month into being on this new planet; which Tony had declared its name as Platypus 1. No one took him seriously of course, but it was hilarious to document, Bruce could not wait to see Hank Pym’s face when he read the report.

Tony took a trip out to a small water source, just a small walking distance from the camp, he was in charge of studying it and making notes of the waters ecosystems. Bruce would but he was analysing flower properties. As he bent over to take stuff out of a case with his back to the water, Bucky caught a good view of that pert tight ass through tight as sin shorts that made Bucky’s mind short circuit. Hands loosing their grip as it slackens, Bucky fall’s from his perch in his tree, landing into the water with a massive splash.

Jumping as he spins around , Tony gets his first glimpse of Bucky’s form as his camouflage crackles, sparks and ultimately fails due to the exposure to the water. Large, broad and muscular in size; much taller than most humans on earth, easily hitting past 7 ft tall. From the glimpse Tony catches, he can see dreadlock like strands coming from the head that’s a shiny metal in appearance. The skin he can see, looks dark yellow, beige and brown in colour.

Stunned, Tony is frozen still as he watches this hulking form scramble out of the water and run off into the jungle.

That night, Tony keeps it to himself what happened at the water; as he puzzles over what species he had seen. Was it a threat? Was it something sentient that they could make contact with? Deciding to test this theory and throw caution to the wind, Tony goes back to the water the next day and the next and the day after that, sitting by the water and peering into the trees and taking food with him in hopes of luring the being out.

On the third day, Tony accidentally dozes off on a blanket under the warm sun. Bucky finally then gets the courage to come out of the safety of the trees and get a closer look at this alluring ooman sleeping recklessly out in the open. Bucky himself had returned each day but kept himself hidden, weary of showing himself to the ooman incase of a trap.

Deciding to look at the contents of the open basket at the ooman’s side, which Bucky had seen him take things out of, he explores quietly and looks over each bottle and wrapped food. As Bucky was inspecting some cheese, Tony wakes up and watches him silently, trying to keep still to not be noticed.

“So you’re who i saw in the water the other day?”

Jolting Bucky nearly flees right then. God this clan would be embarrassed by all the running away he’s been doing lately. Steeling himself Bucky forces himself to stay where he is, turning to look at the ooman and nods silently, Bucky is nearly 2000 years old and he knows some Human language from hunts in the past, enough to understand them at least.

One look at those molten brown eyes and Bucky was smitten.

From here they start to communicate more, learning about each other and even some words from the other language. Bucky is careful to hide these secret meetings for as long as he can. But after two weeks, Steve finally catches him and has a stern talk with him to be careful, to be sure that these ooman’s won’t try and capture Bucky for study. Their species secrets cannot be revealed to outsiders.

It takes some convincing for Steve to approve of this secret meeting between the two but after Bucky personally introduces Tony to Steve; well lets say Steve only knew the small bean for like 30 minutes but he would personally kill anyone that upset the lil lamb. Including Bucky.

They quickly learn that Tony is a clumsy, reckless genius as Tony keeps coming back with cuts and bruises from experiments, but always with a smile on his face as he succeeds in his latests experiments.

Tony’s friends all have a mixture of emotions when they learn of the predators. Of course Tony would make friends with a species that could snap them in half without a single ounce of effort. Of course Tony would think their adorable when they are snarling at each other over territorial disputes. Bruce often questions if Tony hit his head as a baby when Tony coos over Bucky’s real face after it’s revealed- scaly looking skin with mandibles that flares out in four ways with even an inner mouth, reminding him of some vampire like things in one of the blade movies.

Bucky also took to wearing anything Tony makes him with pride once the courting officially starts. Often showing off anything tech wise to his Clan with a smug click of his mandibles, many who are confused about why Bucky would choose a human but accept it because Bucky and Steve have always been the odd ones.

Steve often punches Bucky in the mask for his smugness. The prick.

#larissaloki #tony stark #steve rogers #marvel #bucky barnes #bruce banner #janet van dyne #Yautja #predators #predator #predator!steve #predator!bucky #omega tony stark #omega tony #first meeting

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pandoraspocksao3 · 7 years ago

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*Artwork not mine. I can’t find the name of the artist to give, so if anyone knows, please tell me so I may give credit. Source of art where I found on the web is: http://rainydayreadsreviews.blogspot.com/, which is not my blog. I’m uncertain if the blogger is the artist of the beautiful pic at the top!

RAINY DAY TUMBLR MUSINGS OF PANDORA SPOCKS

Hi, everyone! I just wanted to take time to say hello and thank all the people who have been following my blog (I’m not sure why you are following, but thank you all!) and especially all the people I’ve been interacting with recently and over the past year! Web friendships are underrated. I’ve truly made some wonderful contacts here over the past year I’ve been on here. I think most people who found my blog found it through my “What Are You Reading” posts where I do a synopsis of fics I’m reading and what I like about them. I keep getting asked when I’m doing another one, and it’s tough to say because I’m so behind on reading!

But for those who want to know about me personally, this is me in a nutshell (bonus points if you just thought of Austin Powers):

I’m a 48-year-old woman who is single by choice and childless by fate. I live in the Midwestern United States. I work full-time. I love gardening, swimming, and reading, although I don’t get to do enough of any of them due to time constraints.

What brought me to Tumblr originally, almost a year ago, was my desire to interact with other authors/writers in the AO3 fandom. I was trying my hand at writing for the first time in my adult life outside of University because I wanted to see if I could craft a story, and I got very frustrated when I realized it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I’m someone who has read and appreciated a lot of books over the years, so I thought writing might come easily. It did NOT, and my efforts produced a somewhat cringeworthy, to my eyes, fanfic, and then a lighter more comedic one where I just wrote off the cuff and had fun with it.

I originally thought fanfiction would be pretty awful, but it would be a great place to try out writing since there are already characters created and settings you can build upon to write. However, the stories I encountered since joining AO3 in early 2016 blew my mind and still continue to do so! I know every Reylo here is a fan of The Last Jedi, but honestly, I’ve read stories on AO3 that I think would have been a better movie!!

Tumblr introduced me not only to new authors and stories but to a world of fan art I never knew existed. I guess because I grew up in an age without computers, this digital form of art just amazes me. In many ways, I feel like the child and the younger people are the adults who explain stuff to me, whether it’s lingo or how art is created nowadays with technology (most of which I still don’t understand), or their writing process.

Also, I’ve been introduced to different forms of art, such as video edits set to music (the most notable of these done by @psy-kylo-gy, which I don’t even know how to classify - comic genius? Classical and operatic music enthusiast extraordinaire?) Then there are the metas that people write with theories on TLJ compared to literature and archetypes that are just astounding and on a University level with their analysis. So much knowledge and food for thought!

On a personal note, the friends I have made here have gotten me through some tough times. I’m not going to name them because I fear leaving anyone out, but I hope you see this and know who you are. In turn, I’ve tried to be there for others going through tough times or who need help, paying it forward as much as I can.

Just as in Star Wars, I’ve seen both the “Dark Side” of Tumblr as well as the “Light.” I believe in redemption for those who have been bullies, unkind, or otherwise made mistakes in the past, and I believe in the goodness of others I have met on here. If Tumblr is a microcosm of our World, I am so grateful to have seen it, because the people on here give me hope for humanity as a whole. You’ve been a candle in the darkness of this world to me.

Shine on, beautiful Tumblrs. Whether you create, encourage, share laughter or tears, you are so special and unique. We all need each other. I guess that is my take-away on this rainy day as I contemplate what I’ve gotten out of Tumblr.

Thank you for being part of my life!

~Pandora Spocks

#personal #getting to know you #Pandora Spocks #pandoraspocksao3 #reylo #reylo reading #friendships #what are you reading #Pandora_Spocks #Tumblr friendships #Tumblr positivity #a personal note

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the-100-meta-library · 7 years ago

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Dear followers and meta fans!

Today, we present you the first segment of a series of interviews that will feature the brains and minds behind all those wonderful analyses floating around The 100’s tumblr tag.

For our first interview, we are pleased to welcome Elizabeth, also known as the lovely @hawthornewhisperer!

We connected with Elizabeth back in May, before Season 4, Episode 12. So this a little bit of a blast from the past. Read to see how right-- and wrong-- we were about some speculating.

We’d like to thank Elizabeth again for her time, and the supporters of the Meta Library who encouraged us. Keep an eye out for the next interview!

The 100 Meta Library (bellamysfern): The first questions are just about some background info. Anything you feel comfortable releasing to the internet. Who are you, what do you do, how does that affect how you write meta (if it has any effect at all), and your level of fandom experience.

Hawthornewhisperer: Okay, well, first of all, thanks for interviewing me! This is an honor and I appreciate you guys doing this.

You can call me Elizabeth, and I'm a writer-slash-historian living in Minnesota. I teach college courses on European history and write romance novels on the side (second one should be out this year!)

In terms of how that influences my meta, I've found that both of my jobs dovetail very well into analyzing the show.

As a historian, my main lenses of analysis are gender and imperialism so I tend to apply those to the show as well-- in what ways do characters fulfill our expectations of femininity/masculinity, and in what ways do they challenge it? What does that tell us about the characters?

My imperialist/colonialist focus also helps me sort out what the writers are saying (either intentionally or unintentionally) with regards to hegemonic cultures, etc.

As a writer, I try to think about the choices the writers room is making and what that tells us about the story

Oh, and fandom experience-- I wrote fic for The Hunger Games (Gale/Madge, mostly) but The 100 is probably the first fandom I've been very active in. But my first true fandom is probably Star Wars.

BF: That's absolutely amazing. I feel like anything with fandom can be trivialized, but so much work goes into writing meta and thinking about the choices made on the show.

HW: Yes, definitely!

I have very strong feelings about the importance of fandom, particularly transformative fandom (fics, headcanons, etc) as a primarily female space and how important that is to protect and take seriously.

BF: Right. And I know you write fanfic too (very good fanfic, btw).

Do you think writing meta influences how you think about fanfiction? They are two different ways of interacting with a show, but both require authors to really understand the material.

HW: Oh yeah, definitely!

I see fic and meta as two sides of the same coin-- writing meta

helps me understand characters better, because if I can explain why Bellamy or Clarke would make a particular choice in a particular episode that helps me craft their characters in fics in a way that feels true (or I hope so, at any rate.)

And writing fic helps with meta, because I have a little insight into how writers make decisions. In particular it makes me slightly more sympathetic to plot twists that seem to have no clear resolution because I frequently write ficlets with cliffhangers and then have *no idea* where it's going after that, because sometimes I just like to raise the stakes for myself. Of course, there's a major difference in that my fics are only limited by my imagination and can go in any direction I choose, whereas the show has actor contracts, studio pressure, budgets, filming limitations, and a dozen writers working on one story, and they’re getting paid to do this so they should be really be better at it than me.

BF: Is there anything you've ever read (fic or meta) that surprised you? Any interpretation or theory that influenced the way you thought about the show?

HW: You know, most of my favorite metas and theories come from the Meta Station podcast, and I wouldn't say it's *surprising* but I do think my favorite theory this season is probably Erin's suggestion that Bellamy will be key to brokering peace between all the clans. (I think we got the start of it in the most recent episode, actually, with his faith in Octavia). It wasn't a direction I'd initially considered for his character, but it fits very well with the story they've been telling thus far this season and I hope we see it come to fruition.

In terms of influence, one thing I really enjoy about fandom is how *collective* it all is-- lots of people come up with complementary ideas that fit together and overlap in really intriguing ways, which makes narrowing down influence kind of difficult. But on a personal level, I do toss ideas back and forth with @reblogginhood a lot, which probably shows in my writing.

BF: Haha, my fill of meta usually comes from Meta Station too. I just listened to the segment talking about fic and fandom with Chash and thought "Wow, this is great interview prep".

HW: I can't wait to listen to that! Those are three of my favorite fandom people, talking about my favorite topics, so I'm excited.

BF: I know, I was so excited when I saw the announcement. It was super cute and funny. Anyway, back on topic.

So for you, meta is a more collective thing. Do you have a writing process and need to go through the same steps every time, or does it vary?

HW: It varies, for sure. Sometimes I realize something and can just throw it all together very quickly, and sometimes my idea is very vague and I have to write and write and write (and talk it over with people) before I really figure out what I'm saying. But after writing a dissertation I'm pretty used to writing six different versions of the same idea before I feel like I've found it. I just edit those metas very heavily as no one needs to read four false starts. 😉

BF: So the amount of time it takes to write metas varies too.

Are there any characters/themes that come easier than others?

HW: Oh definitely.

Bellamy is probably the easiest for me to understand, followed by Clarke. There are other characters that just don't *speak* to me/I have less interest in writing meta on, but that doesn't mean I dislike them.

Roan, for instance-- he's probably my favorite minor character in the whole show but I don't have too much desire to get into his headspace for some reason.

The-100-Meta-Library (parapluiepliant): We could have had it all. Still in denial about Roan by the way.

HW: I'll always be in denial about Roan, but he will live eternal, shiny, and chrome in all of my fics so at least we have that.

PP: Yippieh! Something to look forward to!

BF: I am still in real actual denial because I thought I saw something about Zach coming back for season five.

HW: I would totally be fine with time travel becoming a thing on the show if it meant someone could go back in time and save Roan.

PP: Talking about time travel: let's go back in time.

I just scrolled a bit through your The 100 meta tag and came upon "Bellamy Blake, Clarke Griffin, and The Iliad". It was one of your first metas, or am I wrong?

Even though that referred to season 3, would you say that some of it still holds true for season 4?

HW: It probably wasn't my first meta, just the first one I bothered tagging-- I'm terrible about that, and I apologize to everyone for my poor organizational skills.

BF: I'm right there with you with the tagging.

HW: You know, I'm not sure it does hold true for season 4? The core of the Iliad is hubris, rage, and war between nations being manipulated by the gods, and that doesn't seem to be the story they're telling in season 4.

I will say, in retrospect I do think both Clarke and Bellamy were the Achilles in season 3 -- Clarke for separating herself from the fight, and Bellamy because it was his anger over Mount Weather 2.0 that incited a lot of the conflict.

(But I also doubt they were doing a straight parallel, so take that for what it's worth)

PP: Okay. Just a thought. I am not that familiar with the Grounders (and to the Arkadians to some extent) might still be an entertaining thought.

HW: Ooooh yes, that would work very well, especially since I suspect conflict between Becca and Cadogan is at the root of a lot of problems the societies are facing.

BF: I did find it interesting that the brought the Iliad in so explicitly. And there was a lot of speculation based on it, when maybe so much worth shouldn't have been placed on the Iliad/Odyssey.

But we won't know until the end, I guess.

HW: Yeah, it's tough to know what is meaningful and important and what's just a fun, throwaway moment until you've got a complete narrative to examine. But I do enjoy how fandom can take something like "Bellamy gets a present that probably just means he's a Big Ol' Nerd" and turn it into a coherent, unifying gloss on the season.

PP: One of the most entertaining and enlightening things in the fandom for me.

HW: Yeah, me too.

Fandom is such an enriching experience in so many ways.

PP: Another question in that regard: Is there a meta of yours of which you are most proud of? Or which you thought of as the most fun to read/the most clarifying in regard to certain aspects?

HW: I think the one I'm proudest of would be the one I wrote about Bellamy undercutting the Alpha Male trope, because I find "how we perform and understand gender" to be a really interesting topic, and I think Bellamy as a character really complicates our understanding of what it means to be an alpha male.

And I think some of that is directly intended by the writers, but I also think some of it comes from the performances (Bob in particular, but also Ian, Eliza, and Mike Beach because he's not just reading what's on the page, he's reacting to their performances as well.)

It makes Bellamy into a really interesting and nuanced character in a way that draws me in.

PP: Absolutely! One of the reasons I love him so much.

BF: Do you have a lot of interaction with your meta? Do people mostly reblog or like it, or do you get some conversations going?

HW: I think mostly people just like and reblog posts, but every so often someone will add something to my meta that I hadn't considered/seen before and it'll just blow my mind. I love it when that happens.

And sometimes people send PMs to respond and I end up having long, in depth conversations about characters with people I've never met before, and I *also* love that. I've made some really great friends that way.

BF: Fandom friendships are so interesting that way.

HW: Yeah, definitely.

I really treasure the friendships I've made in fandom, and I know they'll outlast the show itself, which is wonderful.

BF: Yeah, definitely contradicts everything people told you about everyone on the internet being dangerous. But I haven't met an axe murderer yet.

HW: Haha right? *fingers crossed*

PP: Who says that I am not one?

HW: Oh no! Haha!

BF: You are on the other side of the ocean. I think I'm good. Well, that was all questioning that I had. Laura?

PP: I would have one last question.

Can we hope for another meta pretty soon and if so, can you already tease it a bit?

HW: You know, there's nothing that I'm currently writing, I think because most of the stuff I'm interested in from 411 (the Bellarke fallout) seems to be on hold until 412, but I also tend to work best in response to prompts/questions.

So is there something you'd like me to talk about/you're interested in discussing?

BF: What’s your Becca/Cadogan speculation?

HW: Oooh, good one!

I think Cadogan's messed up childhood (Jaha mentioned an abusive father) is going to resurface, and I suspect it was a conflict between him and Becca that set things into motion. I have my fingers crossed for a flashback!

PP: Definitely. Oh, I missed that with Jaha because my stream didn't work properly. I really need to watch it so I can catch up!

HW: The Jaha-Cadogan mention was just a throwaway line, however, so I might be putting too much weight on it. And as for the Bellarke fallout, I do think Clarke holding a gun on him and then being unable to pull the trigger, even though she truly believed the human race might die if she didn't pull it, is going to carry a lot of weight in their relationship.

Clarke has consistently been shown as willing to put her own wants and needs and loves aside in order to save people, and this is one of the first times we see her make a heart choice instead of a head choice, if that makes sense.

But Clarke's decision to not shoot Bellamy was really big, and while I'm disappointed we didn't get the fallout immediately, I think 411 was a really busy episode and I have hopes that it will be addressed in some respect in 412.

BF: Thanks so much for taking so much time to talk to us!

HW: Of course! Thank you for interviewing me-- this was really fun!

#author interviews #hawthornewhisperer #the 100 meta

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catherinegrant · 8 years ago

Photo

Happy Birthday, @damelola! May this year be extra special for you. Please enjoy some birthday messages as well as some fanworks we have made for you.

AO3 Collection: GreatDame2017 Banner by @abydosdork and @txnmcky

@abcooper:

happy birthday lola-pie! I like ur face! <3 Coop

@blackpandaops:

Happy Birthday Lola. I am so grateful for all you contribute to this fandom. I eagerly gobble up your fic the moment I see it posted on Tumblr. Though I am terrible about commenting, it always brightens my day.

@bridgetteirish:

Happy Birthday to my Perfect Pen Pal. You bring me such joy. I’m happy to celebrate the day you were born. Here’s to a million more letters, headcanons, fics and laughs. Mwah!

@cassiopeiasara:

Happy Birthday Lola dear! I hope it’s full of laughter, fun and continued success. You are not only a fantastic writer but one of my favorite people. Many blessings as you enter a new year! I am so thankful for your talent and your friendship

@dinovia-grant:

Lola,

Your writing inspires me and your generosity humbles me. Thank you for your indomitable spirit, your talent, and your friendship. Happy Happy Birthday!

Erin/DiNovia

@iblamethenubbins:

Happy birthday Lola!

Thank you so much for all the stories. We’re so lucky to have you in this fandom to keep the SuperCat torch alive. Your updates always brighten up my day. Have a brilliant day, hun. And may the Grant Snark be with you always.

ps: actual depiction of me anytime I see a Notting Hill or Ballet AU (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

xxx Valentina

@inspectorboxer:

Happy Birthday, Lola! Hope you have a fantastic day filled with all the Supercat goodness you can handle!

@kara-lesbihonest:

Happy birthday to the diva who lets me constantly dump filth into your window and calls it inspiration.;)

@kine88:

Happy, happy birthday!

You’re always a voice of reason, respectful and your writing is awe-inspiring. You deserve all the best in life and I hope your day will be filled with good food and lots of laughter.

Regards, a huge fan of you and your writing.

@krystalgoderitch:

Thanks for all the porn 😘

@kuromikoneko:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MARY POPPINS OF FANDOM, LOLA. I am so glad you write for SuperCat and you write them so brilliantly! I love how interwoven and beautiful The Ballet AU is with both show canon things and freakin’ THEATRE THINGS!!! My two weaknesses right now (aside from Sanvers being adorable cuties). I’m also super glad that we’ve gotten the chance to talk this past month or so. It’s absolutely Mayka’s fault (as it always is, eh?) but has been a fantastic experience getting to know you and to bond over our mutual dislike of the other fandom, of our love and devotion for theatre and our thoughts on SuperCat.

@lost-your-memory:

Happy birthday Lola!

You are the most precious person I ever came across within the Supergirl’s fandom. You have a unique way with words and it makes you such an incredibly talented writer, sometimes I can’t believe how good your fictions are. Every single one is different but it’s deep and perfectly crafted and it echoes in me in ways I couldn’t possibly find elsewhere. I don’t have a favourite because all of them are pure gold but lately, I’m very invested in The Music and The Mirror. Thank you for everything. You are a caring, kind, sassy and absolutely amazing soul and I’m fangirling over your existence. You are a beautiful person, Lola. Joyeux anniversaire ♥

@mitski:

happy birthday lola! you deserve all the fun and goodness in the worldd. i love all your fics!! thank you for helping keep the supercat fandom sane <3 <3 <3

@octoplods:

Happy Birthday Lola from Octo!! Thank you for being an absolute blessing and sharing your incredible writing with us, giving us hours and hours and HOURS of glorious absorbing worlds and entertainment. Have an AWESOME day and be merry!!

@pinkrabbitpro:

Happy Birthday!

Many thanks for all your wonderful efforts in fandom, both creating great stuff for us all to enjoy and share, and helping and encouraging others.

So here’s hoping you enjoy a year of health and happiness. Much luck to your new book and any other new stuff you grace us with, and may you have many more years of creativity and fun to come! Also many more memes because…Cat Grant and her pen definitely was a hit!

Good luck and much happiness in all you do, PinkRabbitPro (Barb)

@poppyssupergirl:

Happy Birthday Lola,

One of the first fics I read in the Supergirl fandom was So I Can Call (Just to Tell ‘Em I’m Fine). Needless to say, I was hooked. Your writing style is glorious. I always look forward to your stories; I’ve seen very few writers who understand their characters so completely. Your writing was one of the reasons I started writing again. I do hope you enjoy this birthday surprise and thank you for all you’ve given this fandom.

-PoppysSuperGirl

@residentgeekmonkey:

Happy birthday, Lola! I hope your birthday is as awesome as you. I absolutely love everything you write. You never fail to amaze me with your words inside fic and out.

I reread Asking Too Much probably too much, haha. But I still get chills reading it. Honestly I’m still not over chapter 17. Chapter 17 has gone down in history in my book and will forever be iconic to me. And I still laugh so hard every single time I read the ‘See ya!’ line by Alex at the end. Always has me cackling. The way you wrote Kara fully embracing Supergirl and starting the Supercenter, god. It’s freaking GENIUS. It’s so unique to everything else I’ve read. I still stumble and get mindblown thinking about it and rereading it, that storyline is just so brilliant.

I’ve never gotten around to writing my own fics, but I remember when I was really thinking about writing, you were so supportive and offered your help if I ever needed any. Thank you so much for that.

I really appreciate just how genuine you are and enjoy how outspoken you are. You truly are amazing and hope your birthday goes awesome, you deserve it. Happy birthday, Lola <3

@rtarara:

Lola,

Happy Birthday! May it be filled with things as fabulous as you are though that will be super hard because that is a very short list of things. All the best in the coming year. I love you muchly and am glad I get the chance to know you. Also I’m glad that I get to read the rich worlds and stories that you create. It’s consistently amazing and I’m happy it’s being recognized with your snazzy new book deal :D

XOXO Bex

@spaceshipsarecool:

Happy birthday Lola!! I hope you have a wonderful day and get to eat all the cupcakes. My favorite fic of yours is With An Open Hand, because I love the playful version of Kara who is not afraid to push further with Cat to get what she wants… and also for the pen!kink, never forget the pen!kink :P

Of course I love all your other supercat fics as well. The Music and the Mirror is brilliantly done, and I get so excited for each update. Thank you for all the time you spend writing and headcanoning and overall spreading the supercat joy. And once more, happy birthday!

-Trish

@subcutaneous7:

Happy birthday, Lola! Thank you for all of the beautiful work you share with us, for the insight and energy you bring to the SuperCat fandom, and for being such a kind and supportive person. Your writing and your presence are deeply cherished. Hope you have a great day and the best year yet to come❤.

@supercat-trash:

Lola, happy birthday. Again, I want to say thank you. Your kindness and never-ending support made it possible for me to get the confidence and post my work on AO3 and Tumblr for the world to see. You are a fantastic fanfic writer and an all around amazing person. You are a wonderful human being and I’m so glad that I have the pleasure and privilege to have met you and talked to you. Honestly, the world could use a lot more people like you in it. I hope you have a fantastic birthday. You’re the absolute best and you do so much for everyone around you, even strangers who you meet in passing. Happy Birthday, Lola. I hope its a good one!

@thetemptationisstrong:

I hope you have a wonderful birthday Lola! I’m a big fan of your writing. I especially love how you come up with new and exciting ways to bring Kara and Cat together in your stories. Thank you for sharing your gifts and amazing talent, and for all of the things you do for this fandom. :D

@writetherest:

Dearest, Darlingest Lola,

According to Facebook, we have been friends for over 7 years. Honestly, that surprises me because it feels like we’ve been friends for as long as I can remember.

I truly don’t have the words to tell you what you mean to me or how grateful I am to Dolly or whatever other deity it was that brought us together. I just know that without you, my life would be very, very different. And not in a good way.

We have shared so much over the years. Stopping shows, football in gay bars, your wedding (!!), pokerverse, and all things in between. You are a brilliant writer that everyone in the fandoms you write for is lucky to have and someone who I am so happy I can text at all hours of the day and night to share fic ideas, fandom theories, or just anything that is on my mind. You are snarky and won’t take shit from anyone and you’ve helped me to grow a backbone and be more outspoken myself since I’ve known you. And in the last year, you have been the most wonderful, supportive friend when I needed one the most.

Thank you for always being there for me. I love you to the moon and back, from Mirandy to 9 to 5 to Swan Queen to Supergirl and beyond. I hope you have the most wonderful birthday and I cannot wait to get to see your face in real life and squish you like crazy in like two months.

Love, love, love, always,

Tiff (aka writetherest, but you better freakin’ know that!)

@xxtorchxx:

Lola,

Happy birthday, sugar lips! I am so glad that once again two fictional characters pushed us together in another fandom. The trash bin has been great and I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know you better. You are one talented, sassy lady. I hope this year is the best yet, with many more to come. I heart your face!! <3 - Torch

#lola's birthday palooza

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