#It would be really SO bad if it happened again and again
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moonstruckme · 1 day ago
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Who's That Girl AU
cw: modern au, sexual harassment mention
roommate!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words
It’s not unusual for Remus to hear Sirius’ voice before Sirius even enters the flat. Now, yours has only joined it. 
“I was only trying to be nice,” you say as the door opens. 
Sirius ushers you through first, each of you carrying paper bags in both hands. “We can’t have every bloke in London showing up at our flat because you want to be nice.” 
“It’s not that I want to, I just feel like it’s normal!” 
James throws Remus a look, pausing the film they’ve only just begun in favor of live entertainment. “Bickering already?” he asks. “I know it’s bound to happen between flatmates, but Sirius, mate, she’s only been here two days.” 
“It’s not my fault.” Sirius discards your bags by the end of the couch, flopping down. “This home can only harbor one whore at a time. It’s flat policy!” 
“When did we make that policy?” James asks Remus. 
Remus shrugs. 
“Well, that’s sexist,” you say. 
“How?” Sirius challenges. 
“I…I’m not sure.” You set down your bags next to where Sirius did. “But it is, somehow. I’ll figure it out.”
Finally, Remus’ curiosity wins out over his determination not to encourage Sirius. With great reluctance, he asks, “What happened?”  
Sirius waves to you. “This one tried bringing two different men home. Two!” 
James looks to you with wide eyes, Remus to Sirius with narrowed ones. 
“That’s not fair,” you say, arms crossing as you sit at the end of the couch. “All I wanted was to get shampoo.” 
“Then please.” Sirius gestures with a flourish. “Demonstrate for us all how it played out.” 
You roll your eyes. “Seriously?” 
At this, Sirius cracks a smile. Remus groans. 
“That’s me, babe,” Sirius says smugly. 
Your brow furrows for a second before you realize what you’ve done. Your eyes roll again. “Whatever, fine. So, we were leaving Boots—” 
“No. Start from the tube.” 
Your mouth twists as though you’ve tasted something bad. “That one’s embarrassing.” 
“Then maybe you’ll learn from it.” 
“Oi.” Remus gives Sirius a firm nudge. He says to you, “You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to.” 
You really do look embarrassed, but you soften some at Remus’ tone. Take a breath. “No, it’s fine. So we were on the train—” 
“The tube,” Sirius cuts in. 
“Do you want to tell it?” you nearly snap. 
James snickers into his palm. Sirius holds up both hands in a gesture of surrender, nodding for you to continue. 
“We were on the tube, and I look up to see this guy staring at me. He smiled and said he liked my hair.” 
“And you smiled back at him,” Sirius supplies. “That’s important.” 
“Fine, sure.” You pull your legs in, folding your arms over them. “I smiled back at him, and I said thank you, right? Because he gave me a compliment.” 
James hisses through his teeth. “Nothing,” he says when you look at him. “Keep going.” 
You’re beginning to look wary. “Anyway, then the guy started talking to me, asking where I was from and how I liked London and stuff, and somehow it escalated into him telling me…basically saying what he’d like to do to me.” Your mouth gets that distasteful twist again. “It was pretty vulgar.” 
“Aw, babe.” James’ expression is pained. “I’m sorry.” 
“Wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t encourage him,” Sirius tsks. 
Remus thwacks him on the arm. “Let her talk.” 
“Yeah,” James chimes in, “and where were you during all this? A gentleman would have stepped in.” 
“I did step in!” Sirius defends himself. “I got us the hell off the tube before that wanker could start publicly assaulting her.” 
“I do appreciate that,” you say weakly. 
“Thank you. If it weren’t for me, she—oi!” James crawls over Remus to begin wrestling Sirius, both of them laughing while trying to appear angry. 
You press your lips together, clearly trying to suppress a smile. Remus wants to warn you not to encourage them, but by the glitter of mirth in your eyes it might be a wasted effort. 
“Alright,” James says once he has Sirius trapped with James’ hand covering his mouth, “go on, lovely. You said there were two incidents. You can tell the second one without interruptions.” 
“Thanks,” you say, grinning. “So the second thing was that as we were leaving Boots, after getting all my stuff, this guy held the door open for us. I said thank you and we left, but then when we were about to get back on the tube the same guy came up to us. He asked for my number and seemed confused when I said no, because I guess he thought we had a connection or something?” 
Sirius is struggling against James, who’s fighting to keep a straight face as he keeps the other boy pinned down. Remus feels earnestly bad for you. It’s clear you’re confused about where these interactions went wrong. 
“Did you smile at him, also?” Remus asks. 
You think for a moment. “I guess I probably did.” 
“Oh.” James sounds pitying. “Why would you—eugh!” He lets go of Sirius quickly. “Did you just lick my hand?” 
Sirius shoves him off, fixing his hair. “Don’t fucking muzzle me, you brute.” 
“Nasty prat.” James wipes his palm on his shirtfront.
“Love, why do you keep smiling at people?” Remus asks.
“Exactly!” Sirius throws up his hands. “That is the question of the day.” 
“I don’t know.” You frown, defensive. “Because I’m pleasant?” 
“Awe.” James slings an arm around your shoulders, using the other to pat your cheek. You look as though you’d rather not be touched with the hand recently infected by Sirius’ spit, but you’re too nice to say so. “You’re just an innocent little country mouse, aren’t you? You can’t smile at people here like that, babe.” 
Your frown softens confusedly. “Why not?” 
“Because when you do, people think you’re trying to be extra friendly with them. Like you’re singling them out or something.” 
“Seriously?” 
Remus pins Sirius with a glare just as he opens his mouth. 
“So, no smiling at anyone?” you go on.
“No chatting either,” Sirius tells you sternly. 
“There are exceptions,” says Remus, “but generally people tend to prefer going about their own business. Starting conversations with strangers on the tube or at Boots isn’t really…done.” 
You look perturbed by this news. James laughs, giving your cheek another fond pat. 
“Don’t worry, you’ll be alright,” he assures you. “You’ll figure it out in time. For now, just don’t give anyone the flat number, okay? Don’t need any unexpected visitors.” 
“That’s right.” Sirius nods firmly. “There’s already one whore in this flat. Those are the rules.” 
“Not a whore,” you remind him. 
“Where are these rules?” James wants to know. “I need to make sure there are no others I need to know about.”
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you-cant-unsee-this-shit · 3 hours ago
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I reset every night and find myself in a new state of mind daily upon waking in the morn.
I also have the definitive knowledge that I will always swing back up, even if I’m trapped in the void. Gotta love the bipolar mind.
But my heart is definitely full of love and other captivating things that will make you curious and capture your attention. I’m not a bad friend to have, I think!
So yes, today I am anxious. But I’m going to have a good day on purpose. Even if that means dismissing the guilt over not doing the dishes or walking the dogs, and not berating myself so harshly over not doing something that isn’t the end of the world.
Dan said, “none of that is really happening” as I began to panic before he left. All these thoughts I’m anxious about are not real situations, and they probably never will come to pass. All this noise of never-ending, obsessive dissecting comes from imaginary, concocted worries of the future. With wild guesses and nihilism at the forefront, the shit in my head easily gets out of control and I am paralyzed. But he’s correct. If I would focus on the present more, I think I’d be a much more enlightened and happier individual. I’m working on it every day, to stay in the moment - with Dan’s loving and patient demeanor, his assistance has helped me on my journey to self-acceptance and allowed me to feel alive again. I’m no longer a shell of a person with failure on my mind; I am growing into my own every day and I can shape the universe around me at any time.
Hell yeah! Baby girl over here gonna rule her destiny. ⛈️🌦️☁️☀️🌈🌈🌈
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goldfades · 2 days ago
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if you’re still open to requests!
can we get another joe being protective over pregnant wife???
yessss, it's my current fav trope. hope you enjoy!
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It happened once. One time. And now, Joe was acting like you were made of glass.
You’d felt a little off that morning—not sick, not dizzy, just off. The kind of feeling you could shake off with a little fresh air and some movement. So, naturally, you did what any normal person would do: you got up, made breakfast, and started tackling the mountain of laundry that had been piling up.
Joe had already left for practice, so he wasn’t there to side-eye you every time you stood up too fast or to mutter a “Babe, just sit down,” like you were being reckless by existing. And honestly? You kind of liked the quiet. The ability to do something for yourself without feeling like you were being shadowed.
And then, the world tilted.
One second, you were standing at the sink, rinsing out a glass. The next, everything in your vision blurred, and your legs went weak, and before you could even process what was happening, the floor was rushing up to meet you.
You didn’t fully pass out—not really. It was more of a slow collapse, like your body was shutting down in increments. You were dimly aware of your knees hitting the tile first, the glass slipping from your fingers and shattering somewhere near the stove. The coolness of the floor against your cheek.
And then, nothing.
You weren’t sure how long you were out—maybe seconds, maybe minutes. But by the time you came to, your phone was vibrating somewhere nearby, and your stomach churned with the kind of nausea that made everything feel unsteady.
Joe.
You barely had time to register his name on the screen before your fingers fumbled to answer.
“Hey, babe,” you started, trying to sound normal, trying to swallow down the shakiness in your voice.
But Joe knew you too well.
“What’s wrong?”
You hesitated. Maybe if you downplayed it, he wouldn’t freak out. Maybe if you just kept your voice light—
“I, uh—” You swallowed. “I think I just got a little dizzy.”
Silence. Then, a sharp inhale.
“Where are you?”
You tried to push yourself up, but the second you lifted your head, your stomach lurched violently.
“Still in the kitchen.”
More silence. Then, his voice, low and clipped.
“I’m coming home.”
You barely had time to protest before the line went dead.
Joe made it home in record time. You’d managed to pull yourself up onto one of the chairs by the counter, sipping on a glass of water and doing your best to convince yourself that you were fine.
You weren’t fine, though.
Because by the time Joe burst through the door—eyes wild, chest rising and falling in deep, uneven breaths—you realized just how bad you must have looked.
He didn’t say anything at first. Just strode across the room and knelt in front of you, his hands already reaching out, already checking. One palm on your forehead, then sliding down to cup your jaw. His fingers brushed against your wrist, pressing gently, feeling your pulse.
“Jesus,” he muttered, barely audible.
“I’m okay,” you tried, but it sounded weak even to your own ears.
Joe’s jaw clenched, and for a second, he just stared at you, like he was trying to convince himself of that. Then, without another word, he hooked his arms under your legs and lifted you.
“Joe—”
“Not arguing,” he bit out, carrying you straight to the couch. “Not now.”
He didn’t let you move for the rest of the day. He got you water, a snack, a blanket—every time you so much as shifted, his eyes flicked toward you like he was afraid you were about to collapse all over again.
And that was before the doctor confirmed it was just a simple drop in blood sugar. One fainting spell. One time.
But for Joe? It was enough.
That had been weeks ago. And if you thought he was protective before, it was nothing compared to now.
Joe no longer just watched you—he monitored you. If you so much as leaned over to pick something up, he was already there, lifting it for you. If you tried to cook, he’d suddenly appear behind you, taking the spatula out of your hands and steering you toward the couch with an exasperated look.
“Just sit down, babe.”
You’d rolled your eyes. “I’m pregnant, not paralyzed.”
Joe hadn’t laughed. “Yeah, well, I’m not taking any chances.”
And true to his word, he didn’t.
No more carrying groceries inside. No more standing too long. No more doing… anything, really. You’d been officially benched by Joe Burrow, and there was no getting around it.
“Joe, seriously, I can fold laundry.”
“Nope.”
“I can put my shoes on without help.”
“Not risking it.”
“I’m literally fine.”
“That’s what you said last time.”
It was sweet. Infuriating, but sweet. Because underneath all the stubbornness, the hovering, the sheer over-protectiveness of it all—he was scared.
Joe had never been one to panic. He was calm under pressure, steady even when things were crumbling around him. But this? You? That was different.
So you let him fuss. You let him help. You let him hover, even when it drove you crazy, because you knew—this was how he showed love.
And when he tucked you against his side at night, hand splayed protectively over your belly, you didn’t complain at all.
Because honestly? There was nowhere safer in the world than right there.
Joe thought he had it all figured out.
The plan was simple: keep you off your feet, make sure you were eating regularly, and under no circumstances let you lift a damn thing. He was taking this whole "pregnant and fainting once means you're never allowed to do anything again" thing very seriously.
At first, you’d gone along with it, mostly because you knew it gave him peace of mind. Joe was a worrier, but he wasn’t the type to voice it—he just did. If something needed fixing, he fixed it. If something needed protecting, he protected it. And right now, the thing that needed both of those things was you.
But after a few days of being treated like a delicate flower in a glass case, you were bored out of your mind.
Joe had taken over everything—cooking, cleaning, running errands, even making sure you had a constant supply of pillows and blankets when you were curled up on the couch. At first, it was sweet. Then, it was suffocating.
Because you? You liked being useful. You liked moving, doing, handling things yourself. And now, thanks to one fainting spell, Joe had basically put you on a permanent time-out.
"Joe, I'm fine."
He didn’t even look up from whatever he was stirring in the pan. "Uh-huh."
You sighed. "You don’t have to do everything, you know."
"I know." He turned, gave you a look. "But I am."
And that was that.
For the next few days, you found yourself in the most mind-numbing routine—wake up, eat whatever Joe set in front of you, sit down, be still, don’t do anything. It felt like some kind of medieval bed rest punishment. You were so close to losing it when Joe finally noticed.
You must have sighed too dramatically or groaned a little too loudly while scrolling aimlessly on your phone because Joe—bless his football-playing, overprotective heart—finally sighed, sat down beside you, and handed you his card.
His card.
The Black Amex. The no-limit Amex. The "please take my money and spend it however you want" Amex.
You stared at it. Then at him.
"What's this?"
Joe just shrugged. "You're miserable."
"And?"
"And I don't like you miserable."
You blinked.
"So you're… bribing me?"
He grinned, leaning back against the couch. "No, I'm giving you an activity." He tapped the card against your palm. "Baby stuff. Buy all the baby stuff. Go crazy. Get whatever you want."
You narrowed your eyes. "Are you sure?"
"I wouldn't be handing you my card if I wasn't."
You held it up between two fingers, inspecting it like it was gold. And to be fair, it might as well have been. You’d been dying to start shopping for the baby, but between Joe’s schedule and your current house arrest, it hadn’t really happened yet.
Until now.
"You said anything?" you asked, already smirking.
Joe nodded. "Anything."
"No budget?"
He let out a soft laugh. "No budget."
Oh. Oh, he fucked up.
It started small. A cute onesie here, a stroller there. You were reasonable at first—practical. A crib, a bassinet, a car seat. The things you’d obviously need.
But then? Then, it spiraled.
Because the deeper you got into the world of baby shopping, the more you realized just how much there was to buy.
Did your baby need a wipe warmer that looked like it was made for royalty? No. Did you buy it anyway? Absolutely.
Did your baby need a $500 luxury baby lounger imported from Europe? No. Was it already in your cart? Yes.
Every time you thought, "Okay, this is enough," you’d stumble across something even cuter, even better, even more unnecessary but absolutely essential.
Joe had no idea what he’d just unleashed.
The first time he really noticed was when the emails started.
He was sitting at the kitchen counter, going through his phone, when he let out a low whistle.
"Babe."
You hummed, still scrolling.
"Babe, did you—did you order a stroller that costs as much as a small car?"
You didn’t even look up. "It has all-terrain wheels."
Joe blinked. "Are we… are we taking the baby off-roading?"
You shrugged.
Joe just shook his head, scrolling through email after email of order confirmations.
"Okay, what about the designer baby clothes? And—Jesus—why are there three different cribs?"
Now you looked up. "Options, Joe."
He let out a soft laugh, rubbing a hand over his face. But the thing was? He didn’t care about the money. It wasn’t about that. It was about you—because for the first time in days, you were back to normal.
He knew you. He knew the way your mind worked, how you thrived on having something to do, something to handle. He’d seen how restless you’d been, how bored out of your mind you’d gotten after just a few days of being forced to sit still. And now? Now you were lit up.
Your fingers flew across your phone screen, your eyes bright as you clicked through page after page, adding things to your cart with zero hesitation.
Joe couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen you this happy.
And that? That made it all worth it.
"Alright, babe," he finally said, setting his phone down. "Go ahead. Drain my card."
You grinned. "Oh, I already have."
And for the first time since your fainting spell, Joe finally, finally felt at ease.
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autemis · 3 days ago
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I just restarted KCD2 and now, with the knowledge of what will happen, something has picked my interest...
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(and of course, it's about hansry again!)
The scene, after Henry falls down the cliff and is carried through the woods by Hans, is very interesting. Henry starts to hallucinate (Idk if it’s because of the fall, the pain, the bleeding wound or all combined) about the most traumatic moment in his still young life - the fall of his home and the death of his parents. He has to relive all these gruesome memories once again - all the deaths and horrible things he had to witness, like the slaughtering of his own parents... The life he only knew was taken away from him in a mere minutes-long bloodbath and all of this he had to see once again in front of his inner eye - with just one little difference: Hans.
With Henry babbling in pain because of his trauma, Hans is there and always tries to shield these memories away - tries to break the cycle. He constantly tries to bring Henry back to reality - telling him that he is not alone, that he doesn’t have to be scared and that everything is alright. He also tries to counter the blame Henry places on himself. When Henry says that he betrayed his parents, Hans reminds him that he never had done this to him.
He chooses to never talk about a hypothetical third person - he just speaks about himself. Henry never let him down. He is there for Henry. They can do this together. Hans provides Henry with an anchor - something he can really feel and see, because Hans is right there. That’s nothing to hallucinate about, it’s something undeniable and that’s exactly what Henry needs in this moment because of his condition. Something real, something he can hold on, so he doesn’t lose himself in this nightmare.
Hans is like Henry’s lifeboat in this situation. He not only carries him physically but also mentally through this life-or-death situation. He is the reason why Henry isn’t losing himself and makes it through the night. And not just that, he also shows Henry a different ending to this gruesome day.
Originally, Henry had to leave everything behind - to flee - scared and alone. But this time, Hans was there. He didn’t lose him and he wasn’t alone - they made it together. Even if everything else was lost, they still have each other. This alone will give them a reason to live through tomorrow and many days beyond - to look forward.
And right there, a light is shining through Henry’s dark dream - breaking the hallucination and leading him back to reality. The whole scene where they see the light in the distance is very beautiful, because for Henry, there is not just the real shine from the cabin, it’s also Hans. His acknowledgment of "the light" is not just related to the light in the distance, it’s also Hans - he is the light that leads him out of these bad memories - back to reality. Where he isn’t alone anymore and hope will shine even through the darkest night.
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If you think about it, the "heart" options were never flirty. They aren't flattering compliments or smug comments - they are statements. Henry talks about real emotions and fears here. "I'm worried for you", "I care about you", "I think we didn't talk enough" - Henry doesn't want to flatter Hans, he isn't even thinking about that. Tbh, I would say he doesn't even intend for a single second to be "romantic" with Hans. Everything he says is not because he wants to flirt - he is just honest. Those are Henry's real emotions, we chose here.
Something was starting to hit me there—especially after Henry awakened the next day. The first thing he wanted to know from the strange woman he had never seen before in his life, who could potentially be an enemy, was: "What is with Hans?", "Will he make it?", "Will you help him?" He wasn't worried about himself or even aware of his own pain at first, until he was sure about what happened to Hans. Even after he realized and felt that his own body was in bad condition, he got up to help his friend. That's when I started to realize that Hans's romance didn't begin with the choice of the first heart option—because there was never a way for the player to influence the development of emotions or to stop them. They were already there, and the only decision we were allowed to make was whether to give Hans the courage to show them openly in the end and for Henry to understand them.
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The other options are mostly jokes or "don't worry" comments - things he says to hide his own fears or to brush off a situation. Statements like "oh come on, just stop talking and move on" don't sound like Henry at all. Henry is caring and nice, he is helpful and always tries to be fair. He fights with his own demons, but he will always put himself aside to fight for someone else's rights. He can be a bit foolish, but he wants to learn as much as possible and listen to people's stories.
For me, it looks like the only "real" romance option is the last one. And even there, it's not about the first interaction or the first kiss - these goes straight to Hans. But he wouldn't have done it without our help to ensure Henry stays true to himself, his emotions, and Hans. What we choose as players is not to romance Hans, we choose for Henry to realize the true nature of his own feelings.
When he pulls away from the first kiss and takes a few steps back, you can see his confusion. He isn't disgusted or angry, he isn't even scared about "the sin" they just committed. He is just confused because we helped him realize why he did all those things. None of what Henry ever said to Hans was smug or even particularly romantic, he just always spoke the truth. He spoke from his heart about things he genuinely felt and it didn't feel specifically romantic because they were just honest emotions. Henry never worried about what he said - he never feared hiding his feelings because it felt natural to talk this way to Hans. There was never a reason to hide anything.
Henry wears his heart on his sleeve whenever he talking with Hans and that's why he just now realizes what all of this means - for Hans, for himself, for both of them and their future. Only then our choices take effect, only then does Henry kiss Hans and follow his feelings. I wouldn't say that, at this point, he fully understands what this is between them, but he is willing to follow this path. He isn't disgusted or afraid, he expects whatever this new, clearer situation is - even if he can't put a name to it yet. He wants to continue and follow his heart, he isn't running away, which is something Henry always reminds himself and others not to do. He will never run away again and he isn't doing it now or in the future. Whatever comes next, Henry is willing to face it because there is nothing to regret. He didn't run away, he was honest and he wanted this - even if he just now realizes it.
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Just a little random note for the end, that I think is very interesting: Hans's romance is not a side quest, it's completely intertwined with the main campaign. Every important decision Henry made with him took place in the main quest. Sure, you sometimes didn't necessarily have to speak to him, but the dialogues still occurred during main events. For example, during the robbery - you don't have to talk to Hans, but the dialogue happens there.
In contrast, with Katherine or Rosa, you have to do some side activities, which makes their stories feel more excluded. Hans's romance is part of the main story, which really gives this route a more canon-vibe than the girls' romances.
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slytherin-pen · 2 days ago
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The Secret
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pairing: Xaden x Reader
word count: 2.3k
warnings: ONXY STORM SPOILERS, DO NOT READ FUTHER
a/n: ok so during my reread ahead of OS i caught some foreshadowing whenever Xaden talked about family but specifically when Violet asked if he had any siblings. idk it just rang bells in my head, i honestly thought he would have a secret sibling but then we saw what actually happened..i’m still proud of myself like i caught that shit! anyways, here’s me giving my theory some life. also, happy day 5 of Xaden Week! @empyreanevents
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“Xaden what is going on?” you ask as you jog to catch up to his long strides.
He’s been acting weird all day. Being short with you, not kissing you, and seemingly avoiding any physical affection since you and your squad arrived at Riorson House for your two-week rotation.
It was your first rotation in Aretia from Basgiath since leadership came to an agreement of sorts to both protect Navarre and the provinces outside of the wards. You had been excited, Rhiannan and Ridoc teased you constantly during the days leading up to it. It would be the first time you got to spend more than a day there while conscious. When Xaden brought you here after you’d been stabbed by a venin during War Games, you slept most of the time and once you were awake you all rushed out the door back to Navarre for Garrick and Xaden’s graduation.
Now that you think of it, Garrick, Bodhi, and Imogen have been acting weird since you arrived too. You had even asked Rhiannon if you smelt bad—worse than the usual smell you have after being on dragon back for hours—but she said no. Your confusion had only amplified.
An insecure part of you thought that he was about to break up with you. It’s the only explanation you could come up with. His friends are avoiding you. He’s avoiding you. Why else if not for knowing that the moment you arrived after not seeing him for weeks, he was going to end things? It angered you. Sure, they’re his friends, but you thought they were yours too. That you at least had some form of girl code with Imogen, and if she knew your heart was about to be broken she’d warn you. But you also knew their loyalty to him came above all else. That if he asked them not to say anything to you, they would listen.
You lunge, gripping his wrist and he finally stops to face you. “Can you answer me?” you snap. “What the hell is going on?”
He pinches the bridge of his nose as he exhales slowly. “I—just follow me.”
When all you do is glare at him in response, he sighs again. “Please?”
You drop his wrist but put more distance between him as you walk down the halls of Riorson House. If this is really how he breaks up with you, you’re going to be livid. Two years together and this is how it ends? This is how he treats you? You’ll stab him. And then when you’re done stabbing him, you’re going to stab his friends too. You get it. Kinda. He’s officially the Duke of Tyrrendor—or at least has the title back. He has a lot of responsibilities on his shoulders, on top of everything he already has. It’s a lot, and it doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for him to be your boyfriend. But you didn’t mind. Now, you want to kick yourself for sitting around like a lost puppy waiting for him to throw you scraps.
He unlocks a set of double doors with a flick of his wrist and motions for you to enter the room. Your boots scuff along the cobblestone floors as you hesitantly walk inside. The room is bare aside from a square wooden table and three chairs. The lack of dust on the table tells you it had been moved in here last minute for this very occasion. You nearly scoffed. You were definitely going to stab him after this.
Xaden clears his throat. “Just—uh—sit down and I’ll be right back.”
You don’t even get to send him a withering glare before he’s out the door again, shutting it behind him.
You stomp to the chair on its own side, across from the side with the two other chairs, and plop down. Your knee bounces with anticipation. You can tell he’s nervous. You can count on one hand how many times you’ve heard Xaden stutter, but the sympathy you usually feel for him in those moments is nowhere to be found. How does he think you feel? You’re not stupid. You can tell something is going on, and his nerves only exacerbate yours.
Anger flares in your chest. He has no right to be nervous. He’s not the one being broken up with. He’s not the one being ignored and led to a sketchy abandoned room by yourself. What’s next? He tells you that you can’t join your squad on the next rotation? That he never wants to see you again? Tears prick your eyes but you blink them away. He doesn’t get to see you sad. You’ll stab him and then go cry to your squad. You know at least Sawyer would help you stab the others who knew about this.
As your thoughts continue to spiral, the door finally opens again. Xaden stands in the doorway, shielding your view of the hall with his body and the door.
You roll your eyes. “Just spit it out Xaden. I don’t have all day. Might as well get it over with.”
Confusion flashes across his face but he reins it in quickly. “I have something to tell you.”
“No shit,” you scoff.
Again with the confused face. As if he has no idea why you’re so angry. He really does think you’re too stupid to figure it out.
“Just try not to be mad at me,” he pleads softly. “I had my reasons and you know how far I’ll go to protect the ones I love. It’s not that I didn’t trust you, but no one who didn’t already know before the Apostasy could find out. It was the only safe option.”
Now it’s your turn to be confused. Your face scrunches as you look him up and down. What the hell is he talking about?
He pushes the door open the rest of the way as he slowly walks inside. It isn’t until he’s made it past the doorway that you notice something behind him. Correction. Someone.
Your jaw drops as a child—a boy—who looks like the carbon copy of Xaden shuffles in behind him. He couldn’t be older than ten. He has the same black hair and brows. The same tawny skin and onyx eyes. His hands are held behind his back, just like Xaden’s. The perfect, confident posture that you only learn from years of being taught how to carry yourself as a leader. Regardless, you can tell the boy is nervous with the furrow between his brows. The way he keeps looking at Xaden for reassurance.
“My love,” Xaden begins, glancing from you to the boy, “this is my little brother, Jace.”
The boy—Jace—steps forward and dips his chin in greeting. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss.”
Your mouth gapes like a fish, your brain still grappling with the fact you are not being broken up with but instead being introduced to a child.
“Little brother?” you manage to choke out.
Xaden nods, placing a hand on Jace’s shoulder as he guides him to sit down in a chair across from you, Xaden taking the seat next to him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner, but it was crucial no one knew of his existence until it was safe. Now that we have some form of an alliance with Navarre, his presence can be known by others but still kept quiet.”
“I—I’m sorry. You have a little brother. That’s why you brought me here?” you stammer.
Xaden tilts his head as he regards you with his inquisitive gaze. “Yes, love, this is why I brought you here. Why else?”
You shake your head, hoping that rattling your brain around will help unscramble your thoughts. “I’m just shocked is all,” you say. “It’s not at all what I was expecting. It’s wonderful to meet you, Jace.”
Jace gives you a shy smile and looks back to his brother.
“Why exactly has he been kept a secret?” you ask.
Xaden sighs and ruffles Jace’s hair, to which Jace swats his arm away with a glare that could one day rival Xaden’s. “As of right now, he’s my heir. With all the targets on my back, and even Bodhi’s who everyone thinks is my last living relative, it was the only way to keep Jace safe. You want to believe no one would kill a child for the sake of ending a family line, but I wanted to believe an entire kingdom wouldn’t keep venin and wyverns a secret from its people for so long, yet here we are. If anyone high up had known that Duke Lewellen was harboring my little brother—I don’t even want to think about what they would have done.”
You nod solemnly. He’s right. You would want to believe they wouldn’t kill an innocent child but you have seen just how far they’re willing to go to keep their secrets or further their agendas. Jace would have been an easy target.
“So now that you’re back, he doesn’t have to be a secret anymore?” you hedge.
“Kind of. Those who are trusted to come to Riorson House are allowed to know about him, but I ask everyone to not let it leave Aretia. Things are still rocky between Tyrrendor and Navarre despite the treaty, and I won’t take any risks when it comes to him. But now that I’m home to watch over him myself, I feel a little better about letting him out into the world.”
“I can take care of myself,” Jace chides.
You roll your lips together as you try to suppress a smile. He’s practically Xaden Junior and you want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. That your thoughts spiraled to something so terrible when in reality, Jace will probably be the greatest gift. He’ll at least make things a lot more fun around here.
Xaden smirks as he looks down at Jace. “Yeah, I’m sure you could, little man. You’ll give Bodhi a run for his money when he starts training you in combat.”
They joke and tussle each other some more while you watch with a fond smile. Your galloping heart is still slowing, still soaking in the truth, but the sight of Xaden and Jace laughing together soothes you. Xaden is so serious all the time, always brooding or giving orders. It’s nice to see him be a little more lighthearted.
As they calm down and remember their company, the seriousness returns to Xaden’s face as he looks at you. There he is.
“I wanted to tell you first, Xaden murmurs. “But I didn’t get to pick the rotation schedule. I’m sorry.”
You shook your head. “No, it’s alright. I honestly—“ You halted, remembering Jace and deciding it wasn’t best to have this conversation in front of him.
Xaden seemed to realize your hesitation and told Jace to go find Garrick with a pat on his head. Jace smiles at you in goodbye and you return it. Xaden picks up his chair and moved it to your side of the table, leaning so his elbows rest on his knees and gives you his full attention.
You reposition yourself in your seat and grab one of Xaden’s hands to fiddle with his fingers in an effort to calm your nerves.
“I thought you were breaking up with me,” you whisper.
His head rears back, shock clear on his face. “Why the hell would you think that?”
Heat spreads across your cheeks from embarrassment. “You were acting weird. Everyone was acting weird. It’s just the first thing that came to mind, I’m sorry.”
Xaden places one of his hands on yours to stop your fidgeting, forcing you to look up at him. “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Everyone was acting weird because they knew I’d be telling you today and honestly, I was terrified,” he says, his voice cracking at the end.
Your brows furrow with confusion.
Xaden sighs and scoots his chair closer to you, your knees touching. “In the beginning, I had to keep so many secrets from you. And we promised each other to be truthful after you found out about the revolution. I worried that when you found out…you’d break up with me. It’s why I didn’t let myself touch or kiss you. I thought it would just make it worse for myself.“
“Oh, Xaden,” you sigh. You get up from your chair and crawl into his lap, straddling his muscular thighs as he moves his hands to your hips to support you. Your hands cup his face as you speak. “I don’t blame you for my insecurities. And I definitely don’t blame you for protecting your little brother. It’s quite sweet, actually.”
Xaden scoffs and looks away, a slight blush crawling up his cheeks. You smile at the man you love. The man you are so happy isn’t breaking up with you. It’s the first time you’ve been grateful he had another secret.
Onyx eyes meet yours and you practically melt at the love shining in them. “I’m so glad you aren’t mad at me,” he whispers.
“I’m glad you aren’t breaking up with me,” you whisper back.
His lips find yours, slow and passionate. As if he’s pouring his love into your mouth and making sure you savor every declaration.
He rests his head against yours, your chests heaving as you catch your breaths. “We are going to have a talk about why in Dunne’s name you thought I would ever let you go.”
You laugh, throwing your arms around his shoulders as your head tilts back.
There’s a smirk on his face when you calm down, but his eyes tell you he’s not joking. He won’t be letting this go anytime soon.
“So when do I get to watch Jace kick Bodhi’s ass?” you ask.
This time Xaden is the one to laugh.
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discourselover3000 · 10 hours ago
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To address points 1-3, we simply need to break down your definition of sex. I see you use a chromosomal definition of sex. Which, yeah, is one of the few definitions of sex which is not changeable with medical intervention. It's also a definition of sex which is only determinable with some kind of medical testing. Most women who are afab have XX chromosomes, and most men who are amab have XY. There are many different intersex chromosomal variations, such as X, XXY, XXX, XY with CAIS or swyer syndrome. Some of these are observable at birth. Others don't cause noticeable differences until puberty, or potentially even older.
You can say "this toilet is for XX chromosomes, that one is for XY". But first, that won't cover everyone. And second, do YOU know what sex chromosomes you have? Have you ever had that tested? Sure, you can make an educated guess. But you can't know for definite unless you do a genetic test. Chromosomal variations are rare, yeah. But so are trans people.
For conditions like swyer syndrome and AIS, an individual can be born with XY chrimosomes presenting as a typical female, and may have absolutely no idea they have XY chromosomes until puberty. Maybe even later if no one picks up on them not having a period. Is it really fair to force a girl who just found out she's intersex to use the men's toilet now because she's got a Y chromosome? Is that really safer for her?
Anyway, moving onto point 4, I didn't think I'd have to spell this out this clearly but here we go. The comic shows a person, implied to be trans by their pride flag colouration, minding their own business on the toilet. A red character then forces their way under the stall and says "why do you insist on invading the privacy of women" then leaves. The "privacy of women" implies that this is happening in a women's bathroom. There is nothing about this comic that implies the gender of either character involved. Here are a few scenarios it could be depicting:
1. A trans woman goes into a women's bathroom for a shit. A cis woman sees her go in and confronts her by shoving her head under the stall.
2. A trans man goes into the women's bathroom for a shit (the correct bathroom for him by your logic). A cis woman sees him go in, assumes he is a cis man or trans woman, and confronts him by shoving her head under the stall.
3. A trans woman goes into the women's bathroom for a shit. A man sees her go into the women's bathroom and follows her in to confront her by shoving his head under the stall.
4. A trans man goes into the women's toilet for a shit (again, correct bathroom for him by your logic). A man sees him go into the women's bathroom and follows him. He then confronts the trans man by shoving his head under the stall.
Is this enough to demonstrate how the comic does not mention trans women anywhere and is not necessarily about trans women, or do you need me to draw you a picture?
I'll address point 5 and 6 together, since they're mostly just about how you view trans women. The main point being, if a trans woman walks into a bathroom, does her business, then walks out, how is that a problem? How is that an invasion of anyone's privacy? Like you did with the maintenance guy, if you're that uncomfortable sharing a space with a trans woman (or any woman you believe to be trans), you can simply wait for her to finish before going in. Same as if a mother has to bring her son in and you think he's old enough to not need that. Same as if there's a cleaner in there and they haven't closed the entire toilet (which can happen in some places. Especially if it's one stall that's just a biohazard)
It's telling that you specifically mentioned the procedures you could go through if a maintenance man assaulted you, and put that on the same level as a trans woman simply existing in the women's toilet. If a trans woman assaulted you in the bathroom, that would be bad. And you'd be able to go through the same process as you'd go through if a cis woman assaulted you in the bathroom. Or if a cis man just waltzed into the bathroom and assaulted you. Or a trans man assaulted you in the bathroom. The legal procedures here are pretty much identical either way.
Ultimately, this whole argument boils down to stranger danger. Which is seriously overstated. Women are in the most danger from men they know personally, followed by women they know personally. You're more likely to be hurt by a woman in your life than you are by a random man in the street. You're definitely more likely to be hurt by a woman in your life than a random trans woman in the bathroom. You're probably more likely to be hurt by a woman in your life than you are to even run into a trans woman in the bathroom. If you're comfortable with the risk of having friends, there's no reason to be uncomfortable with the risk of pissing in the same room as a trans woman.
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staytinyzen · 2 days ago
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(Mis)delivered Confessions
Bff!San x gn Reader no gender mentioned for reader (Friends to lovers trope)
Sending a message to the wrong person.
Warnings: slight cursing for the first part? Ig that’s it
Word count: ~ 900 (~3min reading time)
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You were lying on your sofa legs draped over the armrest, typing on your phone as you helped your friend draft a confession text.
"Y/N, I can't do this! There's no way I can tell him!" she almost yelled through the speaker.
“Girl, chill. You're overthinking it. You just have to be honest. What could go wrong?" you replied, half-listening as you typed out a possible confession for her to send.
She had been crushing on a guy in her class who she befriended on the first day but didn’t know how to take the relationship further, she was freaking out so she asked for your help before losing her mind.
“Hi, this might be random and maybe not the best time but I've been holding this in for a while… I really like you. Every time I see you, I feel like my heart is gonna explode, I can't stop thinking about you. If you’re not feeling the same, I hope this won’t change a thing in our relationship and we can continue being friends…”
You glanced over the message, feeling satisfied. You hit send.
“There, I wrote it. All you have to do is send it. Easy, right?” You said happily.
“Thank you I’ll try, can you send it?”
You were confused, “Girl I just did ?”
“I cannot see it can you send it again ?”
“Wait…” You sat up straight on your couch and looked at your phone screen.
And then... sheer horror.
Because the name at the top of the chat wasn't hers.
It was “Sannie^⩊^”
Your best friend.
Your neighbor.
“Oh fuck…” you really fucked up.
“Oh no. Oh no no no no!” you groaned, scrambling to your feet as panic set in.
Your friend asked what was happening as she had no clue what was going on.
“Oh no I did not just do that”
“Just tell me what’s happening!”
“I did actually send the message but not to you but to San… OH MY GOD!! I can’t delete it either, I have to tell him it’s not meant for him, I’m so dumb”
San.
The person you had spent countless nights watching movies with, stealing food from, and leaning on when life got rough—whether that meant venting about a bad day, sitting in comfortable silence, or simply knowing he was there, always ready to catch you when you stumbled.
Panicked, you scrambled to type:
"Wait!! That wasn’t for you! OMG, please ignore that!!"
Ironically, while pushing your friend to confess to this guy, you were pushing your own feelings to the side, not wanting to lose him, the person you cared about the most and loved so much that you preferred ignoring whatever you felt.
Yeah, great job. So much for telling your friend "it's easy" and the whole "what could go wrong?" speech.
You were panicking, even if you were to explain the situation, things would be awkward.
Soon enough three dots appeared. Then disappeared. Then appeared again.
You stared blankly at your screen.
You felt like you might throw up.
“I’ll call you later okay ?” You ended the call without waiting for her response, her crush can wait a bit.
You were still standing in the middle of your living room not knowing what to do.
Suddenly your phone buzzed:
Sannie^⩊^: “Oh. Got it”
That was it? Just “Oh. Got it”?! No teasing? No jokes? He always teased you!
Your phone buzzed again.
Sannie^⩊^ : “Who was it for?”
Your breath caught. For some reason, you didn’t want to explain the whole situation it felt too… complicated. It really wasn’t meant for him but what if it was the universe just pushing you because you’ve been hiding for a long time yet you weren’t ready for that.
So you took the coward’s way out :
“It doesn’t matter. Just ignore it.”
Sannie^⩊^: “Okay.”
The awkwardness in that one word made your stomach twist.
You groaned, throwing yourself onto your sofa. Maybe if you stayed here long enough, you’d just disappear.
But then—
A knock at your door.
You frowned. It was late. Who—
Another knock. Louder this time.
With a sinking feeling, you opened the door.
And there stood San, messy tousled hair, hoodie slightly askew, neckline slightly off, he probably just threw it on before coming over, he looked hot… and—frustrated?
“You’re seeing someone?” he blurted out, stepping inside before you could answer.
“What?” You blinked, slowly closing the door.
San ran a hand through his hair, his jaw tense. “You wouldn’t tell me who that text was for. And it wasn’t me. So who is it?”
You gaped at him. “Why do you care?”
His eyes flickered. “I—” He hesitated, then scoffed. “I don’t. I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”
“San.” You crossed your arms. “Are you jealous?” You asked trying to joke and ease the tension.
He scoffed again—too quickly. “No.”
But his ears were red.
Your heart pounded. “Then why are you here?”
He opened his mouth. Closed it. Looked away. “I just… I thought—” He exhaled sharply. “I thought I had more time.”
Your breath caught. “Time?”
His gaze locked onto yours, raw and unguarded. “Time before you fell for someone else.”
Silence…
A shaky laugh escaped you. “San…”
He swallowed hard. “Tell me it wasn’t supposed to be me.”
You hesitated. A part of you wanting to explain the misunderstanding.
His voice dropped almost whispering“Tell me, and I’ll drop this.”
Your heart screamed at you, but you were frozen.
Maybe you were meant to send that text to him after all.
Next
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ladsbible · 2 days ago
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BAD DECISIONS ― Caleb
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What should have never been an option became a routine over the years. This year is different though. It’s time to face what’s been done and put an end to it for good…except your step-brother Caleb isn’t ready to face it, and your little boyfriend isn’t going to stand in the way of getting what he wants either.  or the one where you made a bad decision in fooling around with your step-brother during your early college days and he refuses to let you put an end to it. 
leave feedback and reblog to support me please! 
minors do not interact. 
WORDCOUNT― 8.9k
PAIRING― step-brother caleb x afab reader (ft. college boyfriend zayne)
WARNINGS ― step cest, dub-con/non-con (she wants it but tries to convince herself that she doesn’t), blackmail, nonconsensual phone sex 
NOTE― MIND. THE. WARNINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO, if you’ve read this before for a kpop boi named jake sim on simpjaes, thats bc i wrote it and both accounts are me :3 
smut tags―  normal size dick caleb and mentions of bigger dick zayne, implications from caleb that zayne is actually gay [borderline homophobia], camera use, fisting, degradation, manipulation, non con/dub con, phone sex-ish, soft sex before rough sex, hair pulling, slapping, choking, suffocation, breeding, cum stuffing, cream pie, unprotected sex, forced blowjob, crying, break-up
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“You’re being ridiculous.” Caleb scoffs, leaning against your bedroom dresser with his arms crossed. “We did it last summer, why is this year any different? We always do it.” 
You roll your eyes at him in an attempt to hide the guilt you feel, holding the blanket tightly to your chest in case he tries to pull them off of you again. Caleb knows damn well why. Not only should it not have happened last year, or the year before that, or the year before that, but to actively and truly believe it’s something that can continue is something only a mad man would think. 
Not to mention, you have a boyfriend now. A real boyfriend, one who matters in your life.
“Zayne have anything to do with this?” He questions you now, reaching for the blanket and tugging. “Come on, playing around isn’t gonna hurt anything. It’s not like anyone is going to know anyway–” 
You huff, yanking your blanket up a bit to pull it from his grasp again. You get why he’s asking and why he’s confused because, well, last summer you were all over the idea like usual. You knew he would expect the same this summer, but honestly, it has to stop. Things have changed. Things needed to change. 
“Caleb, we can’t be doing that stuff anymore.” You say as if it’s fine, a bite to your voice that hits him right in the gut. 
In all honesty though, you really do feel guilty. Like you’ve led him on all these years with his sweet, borderline boyfriendly words. You lived in the fantasy with him for a while, like it could work out despite the family ties. There’s a reality though, one that you found yourself living in upon meeting Zayne, and there’s a fantasy that you need to pull Caleb out of. You feel awful, especially knowing there’s a part of you that would if you could. But…you can’t, nor can he.
Never again. 
Caleb feels singled out at this moment. Like he’s the weird one for even asking when you were the one who came onto him when it happened the very first time. All those talks of “we aren’t blood related, it’s not that bad.” and “If our parents divorce, maybe someday we can go on a date or something–”
Do they mean nothing now? You’re going to blame him for expecting it?
“Why the fuck not?” He narrows his eyes at you. “Gonna act like you weren’t the one who tried to fuck me at that party last summer? Acting all high and mighty now, like suddenly it’s so wrong?” 
You look away from him, feeling worse because he’s right. Given, the guilt should have hit you after the first time, but it didn’t. You had your fun pushing boundaries but now that graduation is coming up it’s like..it doesn’t feel right. Did he really just expect the two of you to keep fucking well into adulthood?  Did he expect you to get married to someone else and still get on your knees during family Christmas parties? 
Did he expect to be the one marrying you?
“We have to grow up.” You finally say, shifting your eyes back to him. “This is starting to feel really—gross.” 
“Hey–” He looks at you now, almost pleading. “It’s not gross, we aren’t gross.” He takes two steps towards the bed in a fit of desperation, leaning with his hands now palm-down on your mattress. But…when he tries to follow up on his words, he knows you’re serious.
Realistically, despite having been your step-brother since the beginning of high-school…actively choosing to fuck each other as soon as college started was maybe not the best idea. Hormones were high, the freedom to fuck was blatant, and well…it’s not his fault you’d walk around in all those slutty little pajama shorts and try to jump his bones every time you found yourself alone with him. If anything, you’re the one who pulled him into this. He really did think it was gross at first, but thinking with his dick outweighed that, and then his heart decided to play a part in all of it too. 
He really does think there could be something here if the two of you worked for it. After all, you’re entirely his type, despite marriage ruining it. The breaking of morals eventually became the best part for him, having what his father wishes he could have solely because you’re just a younger, hotter, version of your own mother.
You even said it yourself all that time ago when it first happened. “It’s ok Caleb, you’re a guy. guys have needs.” 
Well, what about his needs now?! He was so happy to be able to come home and see you again. He misses you  so much when you’re both away at your respective colleges, and he thinks about you all the time. He should have known that something was changing all those months ago when you stopped texting him back as much as you usually would. Now what? He just has to accept that you’re done?
“You’re seriously not going to give it up?” He pushes his hands under the bottom of your blankets, quickly running his fingers up your legs just to try and encourage a giggle, or a smile from you.
That’s when he notes how you haven’t even shaved your legs. Which, it’s not like he gives two fucks on whether you do or not but like…you always shave. Your skin was always so smooth, plump, soft, and moisturized when you knew you’d be wanting to play around with him. And clearly, you don’t expect to be getting fucked this summer.
Ah, he’s starting to resent you.
“Does that boyfriend of yours know about us?” He finally says, standing tall at the end of your bed and looming much darker than his usual, bright persona. 
You stare at him, eyes widening. 
“Excuse me?” You furrow your brows. “Caleb, what the fuck are you sayi–”
Before you can even finish or get a response from him, he’s leaving your bedroom and slamming the door behind him. 
Already you know this is going to be a long fucking summer. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Caleb knew you were a smart girl. You always believe everything he says, but never once has he used that against you until now. That little mention of Zayne seems to have made you panic, and he can’t help but find it endearing that you took his threat so easily. Each time he comes home now, from hanging out with your boyfriend, you’re always sitting on the couch like a cute little puppy greeting him with a wagging tail.
If at all, he knows you’re doing it to try and butter him up. To distract him from what you’re taking away from him. Dangling yourself like nothing has changed but denying him time and time again of it. You’re nice, but never this nice. Offering to hang out, watch movies, go out. You’re promising just about everything to him except for the one thing he needs from you. 
He’s thankful though, with all circumstances considered, that the good ol’ parents don’t notice a shift in how you’re acting solely because the two of you have always been close. Even before the sex stuff. You were his best friend. He protected you from high school bullies, potential assholes trying to steal your first kiss, virginity, and even the first experience of sneaking out. 
Back then, it’s not like Caleb ever wanted to be your first kiss, the one to take said virginity, or sneak you out to parties you shouldn’t be at. Truly, he just wanted to protect you. It wasn’t until the two of you were away from each other for the first time as freshmen in college that he felt some type of way towards you. Which, again, was entirely your fault.
Ah, he still remembers that first summer back home walking into the house and being smacked in the face with a sensual, fruity scent radiating off of you. After not seeing you for three and a half months, he was entirely shocked at how much you had changed. You looked…confident in yourself. Like you’d been growing internally and learning what you want in life. He found it very attractive of you, believing that once you get a boyfriend, they’d be very lucky to have you in their life. 
Then of course, you’d bend over in those shorts and look back at him smirking. Like you only saw him as a man now, and not your protective step brother. You’d whine to him about ruined hook-ups, about the frat parties, about all the guys trying to touch you and wishing he was there to keep them off of you. All while…doing that. All while waltzing around like you’d invite him to do the same. 
And you did invite him. That first night has been burned into his memory. The fear, the guilt, the disgust, the love he felt for you. So quiet in his bedroom, giggling to each other with all the lights off in the silence of his room, trying to pretend it was only a one-time thing to satiate a specific need. There was nothing kinky, nothing weird outside of the dynamic of who you were supposed to be to each other.
It kept happening after that, and each time the guilt would wash away with the sweat that always dripped onto you from his temple. You could even say it was shy at first, both of you were very generous to each other. It only started getting dirty as the summers at home continued. 
And now…nothing? After all of that, nothing?! 
If you think you can change so drastically over a single semester, so be it. Caleb can change too, and he already has. Both of you now, entirely different compared to that first summer together. You, all jittery and freaked out, him, with all the power. 
You though, truly you’re fucking panicking. If your boyfriend found out about all of this, he’d think you’re a freak. Or a slut. Or a piece of trash. Maybe all three of those things and then some. And you know, you’d think Caleb is bluffing…really. Except you got a text from Zayne the same night Caleb tried to get in your pants. You remember reading those words, the pit in your stomach digging deep. “Your bro is gonna come hang out with me for a bit, you’re coming too right?”
Never mind the fact that Zayne lives an hour away from your hometown, where the two of you get to meet in the middle when you're off campus. What about the fact that Caleb barely fucking knows him?! Through mutual friends all three of you were aware of each other, but you’re the one who got the closest to Zayne. 
You’re his girlfriend now. Which, apparently demoted Caleb from popular-porn-trope to actual step-brother. 
And that pisses him off. 
So, is it weird for Zayne to get a sudden hang out text from a guy he assumed is just wanting to get to know him? No. After all, he knows Caleb is your “brother.” What he doesn’t and hopefully will never know is that you’ve fucked said step-brother.
 Is it weird that you don’t go with Caleb to see your own boyfriend? Yes. Unfortunately, Caleb basically demanded you “stay in your fucking place. if you wanna get fucked so bad, I’ll be home after.” 
Even Zayne doesn’t find it weird and texts you everyday as usual. It sucks actually, that he’s so willing to let you do as you please and trusts you to an extent that he doesn’t even ask why you don’t come with Caleb. Instead, he’s too busy saying you should definitely join next time, that Caleb is super cool and seems to like him a lot. 
The good news: Zayne offers no mention of knowing, so…it seems you really do have to stay at home. Empty. Wanting to be next to Zayne so bad but forced to deal with any oncoming feelings alone. 
Since when was Caleb even capable of being so awful? Since when did he hate you so much?
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“Caleb–please.” You beg quietly, shaking his arm gently in the soft light of the morning. Everyone is sound asleep, which must be fucking nice.
It’s been two weeks now of such loneliness, such lack of sleep, such intense need to just let yourself spiral and drown in anxiety. Caleb is barely talking to you now, only giving you sarcastic and evil little smiles from time to time. As if to remind you of what’s at risk. Zayne is normal, too normal. So normal, in fact, that he tried to jerk off on facetime last night for you and you ended up crying and apologizing because you couldn’t even get turned on. 
Even if Caleb hasn’t told him anything, your relationship is already starting to fall apart because of him. He fucking knows it too. 
“Please,”
“Please, what?” Your step-brother's sleepy voice croaks out, turning himself on the bed towards you with a single half opened eye. 
“I’m losing sleep, please stop doing this to me.”
“No.” He says now, closing his eyes again and turning away from you, nuzzling against his pillow without a care in the world. 
“Please.” 
“Fuck off–” He complains, throwing his arm behind himself to shove you away and surprised to find that you’ve crawled up on the bed with him.
Just like that night so long ago, the first time the two of you broke past any boundaries. 
“I’ll do anything.” You nearly cry, so sleepy, so anxiety ridden, so out of your mind at this point that you genuinely would do anything to feel normal again. 
“Anything?” 
You feel slight relief in his interest, nodding your head aggressively with a broken voice. “Yes! I promise. I swear, anything you want. Please, just–”
“Then get the fuck out of my room.” 
You know better than to disobey at this point. All you can do is sulk back to your room and hope that sleep overtakes you this time. If anything, maybe he will consider your plea in the morning.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
It’s surprising, honestly. Caleb didn’t even know he was into seeing you suffer like this, let alone having power over you. He spent so much time protecting you that he never realized how attractive it is to see you fear him. The joy that runs through him now, the orgasms he gets out of it, fuck. Who cares if it’s his own hand doing the work right now? With the thoughts of you doing “anything” like you said, being disgusting, begging, pleading, crying. He might be a little insane for you now, if he wasn’t already. 
And still even today, you look so desperate for any amount of relief. Caleb finds joy in the fact that you can’t even go to your boyfriend about it. 
He’s never felt so powerful, truly. Especially now, watching you try to seduce him as if you didn’t deny him of it before. The slutty shorts are back. You’re not wearing bras anymore. You’ll leave the bathroom stark fucking naked if it happens to just be you and him at home.
Ah, heaven on earth. Honestly, his days are so fun now. Save for when he has to hang out with that fucking idiot of a man Zayne. What a loser, honestly. Openly sharing all the stuff you’ve done in bed with him like Caleb isn’t your step-brother? If anyone is weird, it’s Zayne. Hell, Caleb isn’t even sure now if the dude would care if he found out that you’ve ridden some related-by-marriage cock before. 
He hates hanging out with him. Always having to hold back the scoffs when Zayne is drunkenly slurring out more sex acts you’ve performed on him followed by a love confession and a whine of how much he misses you. As if you didn’t do all of that for Caleb first. Ugh, he genuinely can’t believe that you’re even with Zayne at all. 
After a little while longer though, with the great days and the annoying hang outs, a nice month into summer vacation– Caleb’s been ready to take what he needs. You’ve been begging for it, after all. He loves looking and seeing you so desperate for him to stop the mind games but goddamn it’s getting hard to think straight himself by now.
Thankfully, he’s thinking clearly enough whether it’s through his cock rather than his brain to come up with how he’ll go about it. He waits a little more, cock throbbing in his pants due to not allowing himself to get off in the past two days in preparation for this. 
Every night when everyone goes to bed, you call Zayne. And every night, Caleb has listened. Tonight though? Zayne will be the one listening.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Like clockwork, the parents have gone to bed and Caleb hears the hushed muttering just a room over. He’s already standing to his feet, shooting a hand directly to his bulge to adjust it with a silent groan in his throat. Before he can even leave his room he’s rolling his eyes back with another grope of his sensitive cock, almost unable to stop touching himself after denying himself of it.
He’s practically drooling at the image of having you all to himself again. The anticipation he feels inside right now is insane. He feels his skin prickle and his eyes are barely able to focus on his own bedroom door out of sheer arousal of what he’s about to do to you.
He composes himself shortly after, as best he can anyway, tiptoeing to your room and chuckling at the way your eyes light up when you see him. He’s ignored you for too long. Not a single response to anything you’ve said to him, hell, he even stopped letting you see him look at you. 
Of course your eyes light up, it means he’s going to stop. It means he’s going to tell you what he wants. 
And you’re happy, even with Zayne on the line sweet talking to you about his day like usual. 
“Zaynie, can I call you back?” You ask quickly into the phone, only to see Caleb take a seat next to you on your bed and shake his head at you. 
You tilt your head in question, feeling your heart thump in your ears to the point you barely even hear Zayne at all. 
“Keep talking to him.” He whispers to you now, nearly just mouthing it. 
You never knew you were so good at reading lips, but you listen to him. Furrowing your brows in question and adjusting your phone against your ear.
“Never mind, we’re good.” You say in a voice too calm for Caleb’s liking. 
And it’s like that for a few minutes as Caleb lets you get into the groove of conversing with your boyfriend again before he makes a move. The move he makes? Leaning against you, pressing you back against your pillows, and licking your neck.
He smiles against your skin when he feels it prickle and lets out a whispered chuckle at how much he’s missed the taste of your skin. So warm, so soft. The fact that you’re letting him tells him all he needs to know, despite the way your shoulders stiffen, he knows you’re going to give him anything.
“Gonna let me fuck it again, yeah?” Caleb whispers as he moves up against your ear, pinning your arms to your chest, forcing your phone closer to his mouth compared to yours. “Gonna let him hear it too.”
Ah, there she is. You, in all your glory, are already tearing up at the very idea of it. 
“Caleb, no.” You say, holding your hand over the speaker and body language trying to twist away from him. 
“You said anything.” Caleb corrects you quietly, slapping your hand off of the speaker and quickly thrusting his own hand between your legs.
He chooses not to be gentle with you this time. He’s not going to be what you’re used to, not after that shit you tried to pull with him. His finger pushes in dry, and he smiles at the way you hold your breath and try to squeeze your legs shut to stop him. Zayne on the other end is muffled, but still heard by both of you. 
You stay silent throughout his ministrations, pissing him off further, only making him move his hand faster, forcing a reaction, daring you to stop him. 
“Phone.” Caleb instructs, loosening his other grip on your hands as a means to let you raise the phone back up to your ear. “Talk.”
You stare at him, feeling the burning between your legs of where your body has yet to do anything more than tighten around his fingers. Still, they drag painfully due to your body feeling no pleasure in this. In fact, you’re afraid. 
You’re afraid Zayne will find out, afraid of Caleb, afraid of showing that you like what he’s doing, afraid of realizing you’ll always like this, afraid of losing either of them solely because you can only love, fuck, and be with one of them.
And it’s obvious who the one has to be because…the other isn’t possible. It’s just not. 
So, you try. You try to talk, try to relax, try to do everything Caleb asks of you solely to prolong the situation enough to where you can find a way to put a proper, healthy end to it. 
“I’m sorry, what was that?” You finally croak into the phone, having not heard a single word from Zayne this entire time and trying not to focus on that same drag Caleb only pushes harder into you with that terrifying smirk. 
“I asked if that was Caleb I just heard–” Zayne responded as brightly as always, bless him. 
“Speaker.” Caleb mouths to you, and of course you listen. Reluctantly, but you still do it, shaking fingers hitting the speaker-phone button so Caleb can hear what’s being said.
“What are you guys doing? Let me hear what?” Zayne continues. 
Caleb flashes a full grin at you and wiggles his eyebrows before he’s pulling his fingers out, sucking them into his mouth, then moving back down with three before shoving them back in with even more force. 
“Yeah– Tell him.” Caleb says as casually as ever. “Go on, let him in on the secret we’ve been keeping from him.” 
Zayne hears Caleb all too well, but doesn’t question that it’s anything weird. If at all, he wonders if maybe you two have been planning something behind his back considering you never come over when Caleb does. Which is actually weird, but he tried not to question it. He and you are practically attached at the hip during the semesters, so, this would make sense. 
Of course there is a secret surprise for him! 
“I–” You yelp both out of pain and unintentional pleasure, cutting yourself off in a gasp. 
You can feel the pit in your stomach dig deeper and deeper, arousing you when it’s the last thing you could ever want at this moment. You know Caleb feels it though, with the slide of his fingers becoming easier, and that permanent smile on his face. 
Zayne feels so far away right now…Like, who are you kidding? He can’t get you out of this and you doubt he’d even want to if you were to ever even consider explaining it to him. 
“I–I miss you a lot.” You try to come up with words, missing him being all that you can muster up right now. 
Unfortunately, Caleb’s scary smile is less terrifying compared to his face now, where he narrows his eyes and glares straight through you for saying such a thing in front of him. He’s trying to crowd four fingers into you now, making you squirm and squeeze your legs together again. He is quick to disallow you though, forcing one of your legs open with his shoulder and spitting directly on your stretched and pulsing hole. 
“I miss you too baby–” Zayne says in a slightly confused voice. “What else?”
You pause, taking a moment to feel Caleb between your legs and how much it…god, it feels so good. But– you’re unsure of how to balance speaking with Zayne and dealing with Caleb right now. If you have to deal with them both at the same time…this isn’t what you’d prefer. 
“I wish you were here right now.” 
Zayne smiles on his end, assuming Caleb has now left your room due to the silence and lack of hearing him now. 
“Is Caleb still around?” He mutters to you through the speaker, because based on your tone of voice, he knows what mood you’re in.
Caleb shakes his head at you, encouraging that you lie before focusing back on watching the hole he’s missed so much. The one Zayne’s probably played with before, that fucking loser. 
“Nope–J–Just me!” You find yourself forcing a smile as you say it, just to hope your voice comes out in a way that sounds brighter than it feels. 
“You wish I was there?” Zayne says now, his own voice growing deeper. “Why’s that?” He spreads his legs out wide against his bed, assuming it’s about to be a regular session of facetime fucking. 
“Mhm,” You accidentally moan, a bit too obvious. “Just feel safe with you when I’m feeling like this.”
Caleb rolls his eyes, slowly forcing his thumb in beside the rest of his fingers, growing more angry, more aroused, and more insatiable towards you. 
“How are you feeling right now baby?” 
“Empty.” 
“Wish you were full of something?” Zayne smiles, a cheeky voice calling out to you. “Of me?”
You groan at that moment, all of Caleb’s fingers stretch you open until you feel knuckles trying to force past the boundary. Your hands shake at the feeling as your eyes cross momentarily, tears prickle from the pain but it feels so…good. And only a moment goes by before you, quite literally, kick Caleb away. 
The sudden emptiness you get from that feels so much better, but Caleb is too quick to get back up. Fire in his dark eyes as he grabs you by the ankles and pulls you roughly down the bed. There is a small sound that escapes your lips at the action, almost a giggle. You’re quick to tighten your lips though, trying to will your body to stop liking the way Caleb is being with you right now. You don’t want this, you don’t like it. You never should have in the first place, and to be honest, you’re trying to force yourself to believe you’re making the right choice in continuing to deny him of this.
It’s only natural that your body wants it, just like it was natural to kick him off of you from the pain, right? And then, Caleb reminds you of just how much you regret denying him the first night back home, because he's leaning over you so fast, hugging your waist and forcing all five fingers back into you. 
You kick, squirm, whine, and ultimately shout out a “No, no, no!” despite your hips chasing up to let him, almost to invite him. And–oh, fuck. You forgot Zayne can hear all of this. 
“Baby?” Zayne’s voice rings back in your ears. “Are you okay? You’re already touching yourself? Why do you sound so–” 
Caleb’s own ears are ringing watching your body fight your brain. You still want him. He can tell by the way you look at him with those tear-filled eyes, with the way your pussy is dripping for this, the way your hips beg him to keep abusing you. Who is he to deny you? He has never denied you pleasure. So, he tries to force more, more, more into you. There’s a boundary here, your pussy clenched so tight around his fingers already, but you want him to keep pushing until he breaks the boundary. You want to feel the pain of it and…finally, he does get it in. His entire hand being gripped so tightly that even he seethes out a pained moan for you.
“Fuck–” He holds his fist in place, removing himself from your waist to look at you. “You really took it all.”
There’s tears in your eyes by this point and you can’t tell if it’s from realizing how much you need Caleb, or the fact that Zayne definitely knows something is up. No words are coming out though, you’re more afraid to speak what you feel than you are of Caleb right now.
“Caleb?” Zayne questions, confused. 
“Yeah, what’s up?” Caleb responds with a smile instantly, staring right at you as he begins to fuck a size far too big into you, watching you bite your tongue to keep from showing him how much you love it. 
“Wait–” Zayne continues with a pause. “What’s going on?” 
“I couldn’t help myself.” Caleb smiles at you, wiggling his eyebrows again. “After all those things you told me about her, I guess I needed to see for myself.” 
And then, you moan. That searing pain inside of you somehow subsides, shaking legs and hands are gripping onto Caleb in his entirety now, you’re practically drooling for it.
“I guess you were right.” Caleb continues. “She really can take a lot, huh? Bet your dick didn’t feel this good for her though.”
You’re truly unable to comprehend most of what’s happening right now, even the phone vibrating in your hand as Zayne goes silent and instead, hangs up before instantly facetiming you. You’re so hyper-fixated on the feeling of knuckles dragging against your tightly clenched walls, choking back every sound or word you want to scream out. 
Caleb watches as you cry a bit harder now, probably a bit too overwhelmed with the situation. Like the good step-brother he is though, He’ll take care of it for you, of course he will. 
“What’s the hold up?” Caleb laughs, halting his hand as he reaches for the phone and instantly answers it. He stares down as you continue to fuck yourself on it, smiling at your brief whine before he speaks into the receiver with a confident voice. “Cat’s outta the bag.”
Zayne is there on the screen, witnessing the way Caleb angles the phone more at himself and your hole than your face. His entire fist has disappeared inside of you, glistening with a sticky mess that spills out of you. 
Nothing else is said as Zayne stares at it. Caleb being a cocky bastard and sticking his tongue out like some idiot frat boy, and then? He hears you.
“Caleb, stop!” You cry out. 
He doesn’t stop, in fact, he fucks his fist into you quickly making damn sure Zayne can not only see how your wet spurts out around his wrist, but hear it too. 
“Stop what? Showing your boyfriend what you really want?” 
“Hang up the phone!” You cry out again, showing Zayne that perhaps…you don’t miss him at all.
Caleb isn’t doing anything you don’t want. You just don’t want your boyfriend to witness you be so honest with yourself. 
“Awh,” Caleb pouts now, angling the phone back at himself and feeling proud of the way Zayne appears to be entirely shocked, mouth hung open, eyebrows furrowed. “But he needed to know, baby, didn’t he?” He adds now, lying the phone down briefly to pull his cock out. 
“Come on now, don’t be shy.” Caleb continues with his confidence, picking the phone back up and angling it towards you. 
He intentionally drags his fist in and out of you a few more times before gently pulling it out, moaning at the way it sounds, obsessing over it really. Zayne watches in horror at the way you squeeze your eyes shut, sadly wondering what Caleb must be doing off screen for you to look so fucking guilty. The horror only grows when he has to watch Caleb’s cock come on screen, pussy soaked hand jerking himself off before shoving the head right against your lips.
God, you know Zayne hates you now. 
Caleb knows it too, and doesn’t care as he uses that same soaked hand and pries your lips apart before pushing it into your mouth. He thrusts forward too quick for you to take a breath, and you feel the leaking tip hit the back of your throat in a way that makes you choke and gag around him. 
Your eyes shoot open, looking up at him and barely able to comprehend the camera just inches from your face. 
Zayne has seen you look up at him like this too. Why aren’t you fighting Caleb though? Why are you willingly gagging, choking, and drooling all over yourself with such a forceful fuck to your face? You always pull off of him when he tries to thrust even a little bit…but you’re..
“I–” Zayne goes to say, still staring at you and the way you’re shamefully getting your mouth fucked open. “That is fucking disgusting.” He finally lets out, but he can’t look away. He doesn’t want to see this but…he can’t bring himself to hang up. 
“Yeah, that’s what she thinks too.” Caleb chuckles with a heaved breath, enjoying himself, now angling the phone at his face. “I think she likes it though– wouldn’t you agree?”
There goes the camera again, pointing right at your choking mouth. Caleb pushes all the way in too, letting your nose rest against his pelvis and moaning loudly for Zayne to hear.
“Shit, see? She’s not even fighting it.”
Zayne can’t tell only because Caleb doesn’t let him. You’re gripping Caleb’s hips and trying to push him out of your mouth, but he stays in place, enjoying the way your choking and suffocating throat jerks him off better than his own hand ever could. 
The best part? He knows you’re only pushing him away to breathe because you weren’t fighting at all at first. In fact, he felt you silently hum against him like you want his cock so bad. So, he’s not actually lying. He just thinks it’s polite to not let Zayne know how you’re suffocating right now. 
Oh well. 
Only after your eyes start to fog over and roll back does Caleb pull out, relishing in that wet gasp you lend. He looks down at the phone now, wanting to make sure Zayne witnessed all of that before realizing he fucking hung up.
Who the fuck hangs up on imagery like that? Fucking idiot, is what Zayne is. 
To be fair though, Zayne hung up shortly before Caleb pulled out. He had to force himself to do it, because he didn’t quite enjoy the way his cock jumped at the image of his girlfriend letting her step-brother fuck her mouth like that. He’s entirely blindsided. Like, not only are you cheating on him, but he had to see it like that?! In 4k?! God, his stomach would be in knots to catch you like this with anyone, but the fact that it’s with…Caleb. Of all people.
You’re fucking your own brother. 
None of that matters to Caleb though, nor does it matter to you at this moment as the tears continue to pour from your eyes knowing that Caleb did this on purpose and for a reason. It’s insane how kind he is to you now that Zayne isn’t watching, actually. Lending you a deep, meaningful kiss before sinking back down the bed and resuming his previous position. 
“You liked this.” He comments, seeing if his hand will still fit, and moaning when it does. “You’re so fucking wet it’s insane.”
God, you know he’s punishing you yet you can’t bring yourself to be mad about it because already you can feel the bubbles in your stomach threaten an orgasm. Proving to both Caleb and yourself that…you do like it. Never have you even imagined wanting a whole goddamn fist in you before now but–you more than like it. You love it. 
In fact, feeling his hand dragging in and out of you now makes you forget about the way you nearly just died with a cock in your throat. You’re already moaning again, actually. 
And fuck, you promised you’d do anything to keep this a secret, and while doing that anything for him, no matter how willing, he still fucking told. He fucking showed the dirty acts to the last person on earth you’d ever want to see, hear, or know. The crying is a given, from both the anxiety, the fear, and the pleasure because you can’t stop the oncoming orgasm or the love you have for the man giving it to you either. 
The way he holds you through it should disgust you, with his fist buried so deep your orgasm comes in long, drawn out and painful waves. He grips onto you though, whispering more to himself against your thigh than to you, “I’ve got you. I’ll always have you, it’s okay.” 
You don’t want to melt for him, but you do. Even through your ringing ears it’s like your body instinctively hears his whispers when you shouldn’t. The words bring comfort, reminding you that he’ll still protect you even from Zayne and what he feels about this situation. Even from your parents, from outsiders, from everything. 
The orgasm feels like it bruises your brain, a throbbing headache coming shortly after when Caleb takes on a more gentle persona and pulls his hand from you. He inspects your open cunt for a moment, seeing how wet it is inside for him before it pulses closed and he averts his gaze to his hand. 
Glistening, so wet. You needed that, he thinks. The reminder that he’s the only one who can love you in more ways than you truly need. 
“You did so well.” He compliments, crawling up and over you to wipe those tears with the same hand. 
You don’t move away, if anything you need this comfort now more than anything because you simply don’t know what to feel, or think, or admit right now. You think Caleb already knows, he wouldn’t need you to say it simply because he’s always read you like a book. 
“No more pretending you don’t want this.” He says now, in a darker voice. “Even with Zayne listening, you moaned my name. I don’t think you remember doing that, do you?”
You cry more, closing your eyes tightly and pretending like Caleb’s hand is Zayne’s. You really liked Zayne, genuinely thought you could have a future with him. Even so, pretending that Caleb is him doesn’t bring safety because you almost would prefer it be Caleb. A hand you’re so familiar with. 
He had been so awful to you recently, and only now do you realize that…maybe it really was for your own good.
“You don’t need him.” Caleb says now, adjusting himself between your legs.“Not when you have me. You know I’ll take care of you.” He continues, slipping his cock deep into your already loosened hole. 
He’s shocked that you still manage to be tight after all of that, but he guesses that’s just how pussies work. Or how yours works, anyway. He knows it more than he knows his own cock at this point, which is insane. 
Feeling him inside of you, so familiar, slightly smaller than Zayne– it’s…comforting. The tears that spill from you now are more for missing him than anything. You can’t help it when you wrap your legs around him or throw your arms around his shoulders, shivering and clinging to him like he’s your last line of sanity despite everything about this being entirely insane. 
“Caleb–” You moan at how he fucks you, so much softer than with his hand but…normal. Like the first time you ever did this with him. “I really want you but,”
Caleb pauses, feeling that same pit in his stomach at how you say those words.
“What you just did to me could ruin my life.” You finally say, still clinging, not at all asking him to stop. “What you’re doing right now, will ruin my life.”
“Don’t be silly. Your life will be ruined without me, baby, you know that, right?” He says, reminding you of who has the power by quickening his hips and pointing his cock directly at your already sensitive g-spot. “You can’t say no to me, you tried and still you want me.”
You nod your head in agreement despite wishing he was wrong. 
“We can’t.” You say to him in a half-groaned whisper. “I’m begging you to stop.” 
If at all, you’re just begging him to stop being what you want. To stop being able to have a hold over you like this. To stop being everything that Zayne isn’t and still being the most desirable man in your life. To stop being your step-brother. To stop being a taboo in your life, if only to become someone you’re allowed to need like this. 
“No.” Caleb says, unknowing of what you’re actually asking of him. “I’ll never stop.”
With those words, you moan. He’s promising something that neither of you should feel or need, but you accept it. Shocked at the way you feel him inside of you like always, no pain, or lack of feeling from the previous size fucked into you. It’s just…Caleb. Intentionally fucking you harder to punish you for words that are actually fighting more for him than against him. 
“Okay.” You whimper, falling silent with your broken voice fading into nothing but cries of the inevitable. 
For all Caleb knows, you’re asking him to stop this. What he’s doing to you right now, not for anything else that you meant it for. For your own sake, because you know that after this, you truly may not be able to pull yourself from this fantasy with him. Technically, he’s showing you that he’s willing to hurt you to keep you. To take it from you if that’s what it takes to get what he wants. And that hurts a lot to know, a pain deep within you making you spiral a little more than you ever thought you could.
He’d really go as far as to keep going when you’re crying for him to stop? If just to show you that he…loves you? No, maybe just that he wants this, he wants you. 
You want this, but it’s the fact that he just knows. Even if you say no, even if you beg or plead for him to stop, he’ll just keep going because he knows better than you that you’ll always want him in return. Even if you’re lying to yourself, even if you were able to truly convince yourself that this isn’t at all what you want. Even if it feels like Caleb is committing atrocities right now, he knows he’s not. He’s not, even if you say he is. 
And at the end of the day, right now. He truly isn’t. 
You can feel your heart rotting at all that’s lost now. A life with someone normal. A life where you’re normal and can be seen hand in hand with the love of your life as you grocery shop, or get ice cream, or even just take the future dog on a walk. Your dreams are dying, and you can’t stop them. 
You feel a burning pain throughout your body at the force of him now, seemingly trying to fuck your concern away from you. Only now do you open your eyes to look at him, he’s just shapes now. Your tears are messing up the normal clear view you’d have, but you can tell he’s smiling lovingly. 
He doesn’t care that he just ruined your relationship, he doesn’t care that you’re his step-sister, he doesn’t care nor think of how the future could work if he were to keep trying to follow this path, and continue to make you realize you’ll willingly walk down it with him….not when he’s getting this from you. 
Not when he knows that, now at least, he’ll always get what he wants.
You cling harder to him now, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth as you lift to his shoulder and tuck your face there, replacing your lip with his warm and pulsing skin. Caleb is pleasantly surprised by this, after all that he did to you, he really thought he’d have to work harder to get these lips to willingly suck on his skin again without him puppeteering you. 
“Yeah?” He turns his face against your forehead as you suck, still crying and tasting the salt from your tears mixed with the saliva you’re drooling onto him. “Zayne can’t make you feel this good?” He continues to talk himself up. 
You remain silent as you try to drown out your thoughts with the pleasure he gives instead, feeling the way his normally gentle hands are rough holding you up, feeling the way your body shifts with each thrust up, hearing the way he breathes for you, speaks for you, and moans for you. 
You hate to say you love it right now. Hate that you let your dream of a normal life die so easily. Hate you love him enough to let him do this to you, really. 
“Caleb–” You hiccup, exhausted. “I can’t believe you’d go this far.” 
Only in those words do you realize how taboo and…erotic it is. To have a man willing to not only claim you as his own through forcing jealousy on your boyfriend and pain on you, but you guess the borderline sexual assault is another thing. 
It’s not that you’re into it. In fact, you’re terrified of that. But it’s just…the way he knows you is attractive. The way he will protect you from any situation he caused…turns you on, even if he’s the one you need protecting from. God, the way he’ll fuck you through all the lies you tell yourself. 
Shit.
“I’d go further.” He chuckles, out of breath as he chases the expanse of your clenched walls. “Would’ve brought you to his house and fucked you right there at his front door. Let everyone know.”
You shake your head out of fear of that situation at first, and then suddenly find yourself smiling and losing your mind a bit. God, that would be hot if it were like, you know, not something that would get you disowned by not only family, but literally everyone aside from Caleb. 
“Should’ve seen his face, baby–” Caleb moans just thinking about it, loving that he has what no one else can have. “Said he was disgusted but…I think he was turned on. Really, couldn’t look away from you sucking my dick like that– God,” He cuts himself off by grabbing at you, shoving you back down and into your pillows, both hands running up your shirt and pushing it up to your collarbone. He gropes and pinches at your tits, half of his plush bottom lip caught between his teeth as sweat drips into his eyelashes. 
“Couldn’t tell if he wished he was me–” A sarcastic laugh. “or maybe even you.” His moans continue to mesh with his laughter, now moving one hand to your neck and leaning down to lick against your lips with another pointed thrust. “I’d never fuck anyone better than I’ll fuck you though.”
“Gotta say, if he wanted it bad enough, he’d look pretty choking on it too. Never as pretty as you.” He continues talking, and talking, and talking. 
You don’t really process his words though, or recognize if he’s being truthful or just making shit up, nor do you care. To be fair, there isn’t anything in this world left to care about aside from him now. Not yourself, not Zayne, your parents, or anyone out wandering the world right now. 
“Stop–” You moan at the way he rubs his pelvis against your clit with his now, deeper thrusts. “Stop fucking talking about him.”
He smiles wide against your lips in victory, feeling his muscle tense up at you asking to forget about Zayne. And so, he listens to you for the first time since you’ve been home, he fucking listens. 
Caleb says nothing now, instead he focuses his hips and notes how now, your pussy feels too used. Or maybe his cock is just numb and oversensitive, he’s not sure. It’s not hard really, to reach down and shove three fingers into you alongside his cock, offering extra sensation to both his balls and the underside of his length as he continues to fuck into you with what he can only assume to be a painful stretch. 
His body shivers with an embarrassing moan at that, rolling his eyes back. 
“You hate him?” Caleb says, but it sounds more like a plea for you to agree as he chases an orgasm far too fucking close. 
You don’t respond because at this point his words are just there as fluff in your head. You’re more focused on the insecure feeling inside of you at how he’s had to use his hand to help him get off. It...feels so bad knowing that you can’t give him what he wants after all this. After you promised. And, so, you build up the courage to lift quickly, catching him off guard, and hug him around his neck. 
There, his fingers skew slightly, to the point it’s painful for him to keep them in place and he’s forced to pull them back and instead, hold you up in his own hug as he spirals. God, he missed you so much. Look at you now, after trying to deny him, deny yourself of wanting this. You’re bouncing on him like you always have, frantically moving your hips with no rhyme or reason, solely to get him off. 
He lets out a loud moan, not caring if your parents wake up to it. Not caring about anything but the pussy choking his cock out now. The change in position offered a new form of tightness, and he doesn’t need an extra boost of pleasure anymore. Not with you breathing against his mouth like this, still crying, except now it’s like you’re crying because he hasn’t gotten off yet. 
“Yeah, that’s it.” He nods his head, lips playing with yours with each nod of his head as he squeezes his eyes shut. “Fuck, you always know what I like it.”
Just like that, all of your insecurity is washed away. You feel him twitch inside of you, and the way his hands nearly bruise you in this hug feels…right. It’s what you need, what you want. 
“He ever cum in you?” Caleb pants out, noting the way you aggressively shake your head in an answer. 
And normally, he’d pull out. Normally, there’s a condom involved in this. Not today though, even as you note the familiar sound choking from his throat, and that even more familiar twitch of his cock. You try to pry yourself away from him, palms pressing on his chest as you argue. 
“Caleb! Pull out, Let me up!” 
He doesn’t let you though. Instead, he grabs both of your wrists and presses you right back down on the bed, overpowering you through his orgasm and fucking all of that cum right into you. Intentionally, with purpose. 
“No,” He croaks out in a breath, still lost in his orgasm. “I won’t.” 
You try to wiggle away from him still, despite knowing he’s already started cumming. What’s the point now if not just to still have some type of control over your own body? He, again, doesn’t let you, pressing your wrists painfully into your own stomach, forcing you to feel each pulse and spurt of him for the first time through the pressure of his hold.
He’s never done this to you before, then again, This isn’t the same Caleb you’re used to no matter how much you try to relate the feelings and love to the Caleb you were with last summer. And…you need to lie to yourself right now at how good it feels to have him fuck his cum into you well past his orgasm, because admitting it would be the last thing you could do tonight to really throw you off the deep end. 
He makes you admit it though, still fucking his cock into you regardless of how it’s growing softer and softer by the second. Doing it solely because he knows more cum will drip out as he shrinks back down. He wants to feel each second of your walls clenching, trying to push him out and knowing it never can. 
He holds you down harder now, wincing at his own sensitivity as he plays with himself inside of you, lending pained chuckles and eye rolls with each sound of disgust you make towards him for it. And only after he slips out and can’t manage to fold it back into you does he really look at you. 
Tilting his head with an innocent smile on his face, he releases your hands and shoots his own up to your face, cupping both cheeks before leaning down and kissing you as hard as he can with what little breath he has left. 
“I deserved that.” He says between kisses. “You deserved it.” He sounds slightly irritated saying that part, but his kiss stays gentle and sweet. “You owed me this.”
You’re not sure if he meant any of that, but you find yourself agreeing.
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evanir · 2 days ago
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okay, so it's bothering me a little how a lot of people are talking about ryan's acting, and i wanted to give my two cents on it.
for me, it's pretty clear where ryan is going with his acting choices, especially after what he said on the podcast. but for some reason, people are acting as if eddie's lack of emotion is just ryan being a bad actor. i might agree with that in other scenarios, but this time? no. i’d say that even though his performance isn’t oscar-worthy, he's still doing a great job portraying what’s happening with eddie.
which is: he's repressing the hell out of his feelings.
and we can see that—there are a few instances where his mask slips.
when he learns that buck is going to sublet his house, he can't keep his emotions at bay. in my opinion, he realizes in that moment that he has someone who genuinely loves him and would do anything for him, which just makes things even harder. so, he tries to repress his feelings even more.
when buck brings up the subject of him moving again while they’re searching for maddie, his façade almost slips when he says, "it isn't nothing." but again, he pushes his feelings down. it’s obvious he’s exhausted from thinking about it and fighting about it with buck.
and finally, when they say goodbye, ryan does something so subtle that if you blink, you’d miss it—eddie’s smile falters just a little, and his eyebrow twitches while they’re hugging.
so yeah, it’s obvious that eddie is going through it and trying his hardest to keep his feelings locked away. to really understand eddie right now, it's important to keep in mind what ryan said in that podcast about reading between the lines—and also remember that while buck is really expressive with his feelings, eddie is the complete opposite.
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grison-in-space · 9 hours ago
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can I bring up another, less soul annihilating anecdote?
see, when I was about to turn eleven, we picked up and moved across the country to kansas city. Just in time for middle school.
you gotta understand. I'd been in class with the same twenty or thirty kids at my old school for the past three years, third grade to fifth, because I was in this gifted and talented program where they made us take these tests to get in and then bused us all to a special school in one class per year.
as you might or might not expect, most of the kids in that class were some flavor of neurodivergent. I was ADHD enough to have been identified at seven because I was classically hyperactive and annoyed the shit out of my teachers. Wouldn't have the autism diagnosed for a year or two yet, but I know for a fact that all my close childhood friends would be diagnosed autistic by the time we hit puberty.
what this means is that I thought of myself as basically normal. I was not normal, but I had the serene confidence learned over years carefully isolated from kids who thought I was pretty weird: I was paying attention to MY friends, who were similar to me in a lot of ways, and they didn't think it was especially remarkable to have memorized Bruce Fogle's Encyclopedia of the Dog.
So anyway, they released me into a Midwestern middle school in a strange town, and of course the year happened to be 2001, so 9/11 hit a couple weeks after school started and everyone really went nuts. I spent a couple months watching people, decided that this one kid in my grade was probably safe, and then set out to befriend her and her set. I had read psychology books that indicated that familiarity brings comfort rather than contempt, so I just rocked up to their lunch table with a book and set out to be a regular, predictable background character. I was probably trying to be quiet, but I've never been quiet in my life. It turned out not to matter too much:
Amazingly, it worked. They chose to befriend me back.
What this meant was that when my middle school bullies tried to amuse themselves by "inviting" me to a nonexistent sleepover at my new friends' house, I happened to have a real sleepover scheduled for the same day with the same people at mine. When my bully tried to prove that no one could ever like me, I was able to ask what her problem was, because I knew that there were people out there who liked people like me. I knew that people like me existed and that we could like each other, too.
I was just confused about why she'd want to try to tear me down. Eventually, in the middle of seventh grade, I got irritated and perplexed enough to stomp out to one of the ringleaders and ask her this at the top of my fairly prodigious lungs. Like, what is going with your life that trying to make mine less pleasant is such a concern for you? What makes you so small that you have to try and shrink my life to make yourself feel better?
And that stopped the bullying along the lines of "ohhh so SAD you don't have REAL FRIENDS." Because I did. My real friends, who thought I was pretty okay, they stood by me. They did that a couple times in middle school. That was the choice that a bunch of acne spotted middle schoolers decided to make: to adopt the oddball kid and form a line, oddballs against the straight, vertexed world.
I've long since lost touch with those friends—we moved again when I was fifteen and I've always been bad at keeping in touch. But I've never lost the lessons that got laid down then. Sometimes, people will choose to have your back. Sometimes, asking obvious questions really loudly makes people embarrassed enough about their bad behavior to stop doing it. And sometimes, even by accident, your peers can figure out something that authority figures struggle with.
Sometimes kids figure it out and choose to stand up for one another, too. That's all.
every piece of ""autistic representation"" in hollywood sucks not just because of the infantalization and inspiration porn but because movie executives always fail to realize the real universal autistic experience: spending your childhood slowly and unfalteringly realizing all of your friends not so secretly hated and/or merely tolerated you at best and you've missed every social signal about it ever
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gynnnicsworld · 3 days ago
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You know Sterek has been frequently 'cancelled' and attacked for basically being the most popular ship in the TW world, right?
Because of the age gap between them, right? Well, I have to complain about it, because it really pisses me off that they're discarding the beautiful, slow-burning love story that exists between Stiles and Derek in CANON. Because damn it, they liked each other.
It bothers me that they tarnish Sterek's image for things like being a "pedo" ship when NO, they're not. They're trying to lump us all into a "sick shipper" category.
If we're being honest, Sterek has probably been the story with the most backstory, where we've seen how each season has seen the closeness between Stiles and Derek grow, where they've gone from 'hating each other and having to deal with each other because of Scott' to genuinely caring for each other to the point where Derek would take a bullet for Stiles or Stiles would go against the entire FBI to protect and get Derek out of whatever mess he was in.
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They care deeply and genuinely for each other, so much so that Derek preserved and fixed Stiles' Jeep, keeping it in his garage as a sort of memento or anchor for him.
It bothers me so much that they talk shit about Sterek when this couple exists:
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sorry but parrish/lydia was a canon pairing between a teenager and an ADULT and if that wasn't enough, an adult from the sheriff's department.
Why aren't people talking about this more? Why are they attacking Sterek instead? Sterek: a couple that wasn't canon during the show's run, and we only got confirmation of feelings for each other through the actors and through obvious hints in the show. But directly, it was never a canon couple between a teenager and an adult guy. They were together.
I put the adult that way because Derek's age was never confirmed as such. At the beginning of the series, Stiles says Derek is only a couple of years older than him and Scott. So at the beginning of the series, Derek was between 18 and 19 years old. But later on, they address the fire, so they change the age again, but they never say exactly how old he is, so canonically Derek could be 2 to 5 years older than Stiles. You choose what age gap to give them.
While Lydia, about 17, and Jordan Parish, over 20, are a CANON couple.
Anyway, hypocrisy and homophobia, right?
But there is a VERY important theme between the Derek/Stiles relationship, which if you ask me made the possibility of a relationship between the two of them impossible while Stiles was still a high school student and perhaps only when Stiles was older could something exist between them.
The existence of this damn bitch and what she did to Derek.
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I hate her as much as you do, and it disgusts me to have to watch Teenage Derek with her.
But it's important to what I wanted to say; it's why I think Derek repressed his feelings for Stiles.
According to the Teen Wolf book, Kate was Derek's substitute swim teacher, who used certain hormones and scents to attract the teenage Derek to her. YES, that was not only a relationship rife with manipulation, power imbalances, and pedophilia, but she also ended up orchestrating the murder of Derek's family at a moment of vulnerability for Derek because Paige's death hadn't happened long before.
We all know Derek blames himself for the death of his family, and he hates Kate. He knows what she did to him. He knows he was manipulated by an older woman and that he fell for her.
Derek has serious trust and self-confidence issues.
He doesn't believe he's worthy of love or peace.
His anchor until Season 2 was anger because his life was infested with anger/hate/rage.
So he sees himself as something bad, something that hurts, someone who destroys what he loves. He's a victim of sexual abuse, even though he doesn't admit it.
But Stiles became that little glimmer of light annoying, but a light in his dark life filled with negative things. Stiles earned his trust. Stiles fought every step of the way and broke down that wall Derek built around himself to keep people away from him, because trust means giving someone the power to hurt you. Oh well, Derek's mind worked that way. Unbeknownst to him, Stiles earned that trust.
And that's where we have this scene.
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This is where Derek lets us see how important Stiles has become to him, Stiles became his anchor.
At this point, it's undeniable that Derek already has feelings for Stiles. He trusts Stiles blindly. But then, why didn't Derek do anything to have Stiles? Because Derek is a victim of sexual abuse by a woman who took advantage of him in high school. And Derek never dealt with that trauma, or we were never shown to have it that way.
Derek dates women, of course—Jennifer (who also manipulated him), Braeden, etc.—whose relationships didn't end well or were never serious.
But not with Stiles, because Stiles is like that extremely important thing where he can't ruin that connection they have, he can't taint or sully this relationship he has with Stiles. It's too important to Derek. Plus, the untreated traumas surrounding his abuser are a clear impediment to starting something real, something serious. And everything seems to indicate that Stiles is THAT person his unconscious heart has chosen.
That is, to start any romantic relationship with Stiles, Derek has to face all of his demons, all of his traumas first, in order to give Stiles what he believes Stiles deserves.
Kate ruined Derek's heart and mind a lot, plus Derek already had a wounded and bleeding heart since Paige.
So, a relationship as such didn't exist in the series between S/D, and it was quite unlikely that it would, but the feelings were always there.
That's why I don't understand why they keep attacking a couple who has SO MUCH backstory, and who if they ever dated, it was definitely when they were already adults and able to deal with their own issues.
The sheriff's line about the jeep and Derek always makes me think that the sheriff was always aware and noticed everything. He never disapproved; on the contrary, he supported them, because he knows there's no one who deserves each other more than those two. It was also a clear confirmation that Derek always had feelings for Stiles, complicated feelings he didn't know how to address, but whose feelings led him to treasure and fix Stiles's jeep.
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wondoras · 3 days ago
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hii, could you write the hyung line giving riki and his girlfriend THE talk?? 🤍 it doesn't have to be explicit, it can also be a funny situation
THE TALK
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SYNOPSIS: after getting caught in an embarrassing position, you and niki receive “the talk” from the older members. or, well, at least they tried.
PAIRING: nishimura niki x fem!reader
GENRE: suggestive, crack (??)
WC: 1k (1068)
TW: make out session, a few moans and groans, suggestive, bad English, not proofread, bad ending (because idk how to end things), my extremely bad attempt at something funny (i tried my best) (i don’t know what to put here #help)
author's note: this is my first ever fanfic in English, so i'm apologizing in advance for the mistakes that may be scattered throughout the story, but i also want to thank you for giving me this chance! i'm open to constructive criticism on what i can improve in my writing or what i should tone down a bit. thank you again for this opportunity and sorry for the delay in delivering the request <3
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Kissing Niki was always one of the best parts of your day, especially when he looked so pretty with his hair undone, breathless, plump lips all red and swollen and eyes hooded with desire, looking at you like you’re the only goddess he would ever worship in all of his future lives.
You and Niki were dating for a few months and up until now you didn't do much besides kissing and making out, but every time his hands would start roaming your body, you really wished he could take the initiative and take the relationship to another stage.
"So pretty..." he whispered softly against your lips, slowly caressing his fingers on your neck, almost reverently. "I'm so lucky to be your boyfriend."
Placing your face in his neck to hide your shyness, you began to leave soft kisses on his skin, making shivers run through his body. With a groan, he squeezed your waist, pulling you closer in his lap, making you feel the bulge starting to form in his pants. Lifting your head from where it was nested in his neck, your eyes found his, questioning if he wanted to take the next step. You two were alone in the dorm, the others were at the studio and probably would take a long time to come back, so you had time.
Without thinking twice, he claimed your lips with his, kissing you like his life depended on it, sliding his hands from your waist to your hips, squeezing hard and moving your hips gently against his, and the friction created drew soft moans from your mouth, that he gladly took for himself. Bringing your hands to the hem of his shirt, you broke the kiss momentarily so he could take the shirt off, throwing it somewhere in the room. Breathing heavily, you looked at his body, admiring his beauty while slowly caressing his naked torso, enjoying his reactions to the feeling of your fingers on his skin.
You were so engrossed in the moment, that you didn't hear the front door open or the other members' voices ringing through the dorm until it was too late.
“Hey! We brought ramyeon…” Heeseung’s voice rang through the room, startling you and Niki, who quickly covered his body with the sheet while you tried not to die out of embarrassment for not having heard when the boys arrived.
“Hyung!” Niki exclaimed, widening his eyes towards the hallway, signaling him to leave.
Heeseung left the room still in shock, trying to understand what he had seen. He knew Niki wasn’t the same kid from I-Land anymore, but he still saw him like that kid, and seeing him and his girlfriend doing whatever that was, it was the wake up call he needed. Walking blindly to the living room, his distraught face alerted everyone that something had happened, and Sunghoon’s arched eyebrows indicated everyone’s clear curiosity to know what happened.
“What? What happened? Where are they?” Sunoo asked after helping Jay and Jungwon organize the table.
“I think it’s time we have that talk with Niki.” It was the only thing Heeseung said, looking from Jay to Jake and then Jungwon, who slowly widened his eyes when he realized what Heeseung was talking about.
“Oh shit…” Jay whispered surprisedly, while Jake and Sunghoon tried not to laugh.
In Niki’s room, you two were trying not to die of embarrassment while holding back the laughter that wanted to come out. Looking at him through your fingers, you saw how red he was and you had to count to 10 to not burst out laughing.
“You know that they won’t let us live it down, right?” He asked softly, putting on his shirt and avoiding looking at you.
“I know” you whined, feeling even more embarrassed.
After a few minutes of silence, a knock was heard at the door and soon a voice was heard against it.
“Hmm... can you guys come to the living room real quick?” The voice, which you suspected to be Sunoo, asked hesitantly.
Looking at each other, you and Niki went pale, wondering what they wanted to talk about that was so important at that moment.
“... Sure…” You answered, listening to Sunoo’s feet moving away from the door.
Getting out of bed, you left the room slowly, wanting to drag out this moment as long as possible. In the living room, the six boys were spread out across the couch and the floor, busy staring into space. When they heard the sound of your footsteps, they raised their heads, and having their attention on you made you want to hide from everyone forever even more.
“Hey…” you whispered shyly, sitting next to Niki on the remaining sofa.
“We called you here because we think it's time to have the talk.” Jungwon started, signaling to Jay to continue.
“So, you're at the age where you start doing... this, but we want to make sure you know how to use protection.”
You've never wanted the ground to open up and swallow you as much as you do now, and you're sure the same goes for Niki. Looking from Jay's uncomfortable face to Jungwon and Sunoo looking blankly at the table and Heeseung, Sunghoon and Jake trying not to laugh, you decided to stay a few days without setting foot in the dorm.
“Hyung...” Niki whined, asking Jungwon with his eyes to make the older one stop, receiving only a shrug in response.
“It's important that we talk about this, Niki.” Jay argued. “We don't want any surprises nine months from now.”
That was enough for the trio to stop holding back and burst out laughing, hitting each other as they laughed, while you just wanted to disappear. Niki gave a side eye to his hyungs, planning how he would get revenge on them for this.
Slowly stopping laughing, the trio looked at Niki and Sunghoon gave the youngest a mischievous smile, pointing to something in the corner of his mouth.
“New lip gloss, Niki?”
Without hesitation, Niki threw a pillow at the boys, which soon turned into a pillow fight, with you and Sunoo trying to defend yourselves from the pillows that were heading your way.
“You better sleep with one eye open today, Sunghoon hyung!” Niki roared from behind the couch, winking at you seductively, making clear to you his plan to distract the other six boys from the conversation.
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⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀© wondoras
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viasdreams · 2 days ago
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Nightwalker ཐི❤︎ཋྀ ~ what if she wants to peg you?
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you anxiously scratched at the scar on your hand while waiting for hyuck to arrive. your anxiety over this entire situation caused you to leave for your agreed meeting spot, the park, a whole thirty minutes early. a part of you wanted to be able to get comfortable with your surroundings for a bit before he showed, (you were anything but comfortable at the moment, but it was worth a shot) and another wanted to scope out a bench next to a trashcan just in case your nerves made you throw up.
in your head, you ran through all the possible ways this conversation could go. best case scenario, he takes everything really well and you guys remain good friends. worst case scenario, both of you end up doubled over your meticulously chosen trashcan, fighting to not puke on the other. you weren't sure how that would ever actually happen, but then again you were here to end things with your almost vampire boyfriend, so clearly the world likes to fuck with you.
you stared into the trees as you thought some more, the scratching becoming more fervent by the second when a cold hand grabbed your wrist.
hyuck.
he gave you a small smile, placing your hand on the bench away from the other as he sat.
you kept your gaze trained in front of you, you couldn't look at him if you tried.
his presence was overwhelming. you could handle him over text or in your head, but being with him was different. none of your scenarios account for the intense wave of emotions you were going to feel.
"sorry to just grab you like that, i know that was a weird way to say hello." hyuck let out a small laugh as he spoke but it quickly faded when he saw your stiff demeanor and a deafening silence fell over the two of you.
your mind raced, struggling to work through the fog caused by the boy to your left. you must have been stuck like this for quite a while because it wasn't until he cleared his throat that you realized he was waiting for you to speak first.
"hi," you mumbled, still refusing to look at him.
"hi," hyuck replied, concern bleeding through his tone.
you took a deep breath, deciding that you could no longer prolong the inevitable.
"i'm going to explain everything, no more lies or secrets, but i need you to not say anything until i'm done."
your words came out quickly, you weren't sure if hyuck even understood any of it. this idea was further supported by his lack of a response.
slowly, you turned to face him, "is that okay?"
hyuck blankly gazed back at you, an expression that caught you extremely off guard.
maybe he really didn't hear you.
"hyuck is that okay?" you repeated.
a slight smug look crossed his face, "oh, i can respond to that?"
you suppressed an eye-roll as you answered, "yes, you can respond to that."
"phew okay, yeah thats cool. tell me whatever you need to, i'll listen." he gave you a sad but reassuring smile as he spoke.
you returned the smile, "thank you."
the mood between you was much lighter after your exchange and you felt bad that you were about to ruin it. it might be the last time you were ever on somewhat good terms with him and you couldn't even soak it in properly.
but you promised to tell him everything.
and so you do.
you tell him how much fun you were having with him the past month and about how much you like him.
you tell him about realizing the reality of his immorality and how your own immortality is what caused you to freak out.
you tell him why you lied about being home and about your inability to face this issue.
you tell him about your conversation with renjun.
and you tell him that things can't continue with him.
true to his word, hyuck doesn't interrupt you once. he barely even reacts outside of moving your hand back down after you mindlessly start scratching it again.
you fall back into silence while you wait for him to say something. the post confession relief is actually rather nice, so you don't mind the quiet too much this time. you almost get lost in it when hyuck's voice pulls you back.
"did i ever tell you how i became a vampire?"
that was not at all what you were expecting him to say. in your head, he usually responded with something along the lines of "i totally understand yn, i forgive you", or "you're mortal scum, i hate you". this was something you didn't plan for.
"i uh-", you stuttered while you tried to recall, "i don't think so, no."
hyuck hummed softly, "it was back in early august. mark and i had been friends since we were teenagers, really good friends at that. one day i walked into his apartment and saw him sucking the throat of a squirrel in an almost animalistic craze. turns out he hadn't eaten in a few days and forgot i was coming over."
"wait," you interruppted, "how did you not know something was off about him if you were friends for years. he doesn't age, did you not find it weird that he looked twenty-five at fifteen?"
he shook his head and laughed, "well i always knew he was a little older than me, and he was the only canadian person i knew so i thought all people from canada were just fast developers. plus he has a young face, he could mostly pass for eighteen." he punctuated his sentence with a shrug before continuing.
"mark explained everything to me, but all i remember getting out of it was that he could turn me. i begged him to make me like him. i think i even got on my knees and kissed his feet at one point, i wanted it that bad. he tried to get me to at least sleep on the decision, but my heart was set. i needed to be a vampire."
"did you have any doubts?" you asked.
hyuck exaggeratedly exhaled, "of course not."
your eyebrows knitted together. how did he not struggle with the same decision you were killing yourself over? how was it so easy for him?
"do you regret it?" you finally ask.
"well i have a lot of regrets, yeah," he sighed, "for starters, i have to live on the same earth as jaemin until the sun explodes."
you laugh at his complaint and he smiles back at you.
"i also really miss getting drunk, like really, really miss it." he dramatically throws his head back for emphasis.
"did we ever try drinking my blood while i was drunk to see if it gets you drunk?"
"you tried to get me to do that but i just kissed you instead remember," hyuck said, shyly. if he could blush, you're sure his face would be red.
"right," you replied. although most of that night was hazy, the memory of his lips was perfectly clear.
a few moments passed before he spoke again, "i don't regret it though, becoming a vampire i mean. i wouldn't have met you if i was still human."
you could feel the heat in your cheeks intensify. why was he making this so complicated?
"yn?"
"yeah?"
"i'm going to say something but you can't say anything while i do, is that okay?"
avoiding the earlier issue with this question, you nod.
hyuck stared into your eyes, seemingly unsure if he should actually go forward with what he wanted to say.
"i don't know what I'm doing," he laments after a while.
"i'm new to all of this, vampirism and relationships. i know it's hard to believe but i've never been huge with the ladies."
despite your efforts to fight it, your lips curl up slightly at his statement.
"okay maybe it's not that hard to believe, but still. what i'm trying to say is don't stress so much about not knowing what to do because i'm right there with you. there's only one thing i'm sure about right now."
you look at him expectantly.
he moved his hand to yours, intertwining his fingers with yours before proceeding.
"i'm sure that i love you yn."
before you could fully react to his confession, hyuck lets go of your hand and is doubled over with the balls of his hands pressed into his eyes.
"are you ok?" you ask, bending down to be level with his face.
holding his hand out, he replies, "yeah im good, i just can't believe i said it like that, that was so cringe oh my god. it was way cooler in my head i swear."
you giggle at his embarrassment, lightly swatting at his hand.
'you're always cringe hyuck."
he sits back up, "maybe i am, but you like it."
"yeah, maybe i do." you say, a hint of sadness in your voice.
"i meant it though, i love you yn. and I know that probably doesn't change anything but i just wanted you to know."
tears suddenly prick at the corners of your eyes. it suddenly felt like you were making the wrong decision.
"whatever you choose, i'll support you okay? as long as you're happy, that's all i want."
his eyes betrayed his words, they were pleading with you, begging you not to leave.
"hyuck," you paused, trying not to choke on your words, "i love you too. i want to be with you so badly but i'm scared. what happens to us if i don't want to turn? what happens if i turn and then regret it, i don't want to do that to you."
"we'll figure it out. this isn't something we need to know now, we're still young, we have time." hyuck pulled you into his chest, rubbing small circles on your back.
"you're always going to be young though, that's the issue," you muttered into his jacket.
"yeah, physically speaking, i'll always be a hot young stud, but i'll grow emotionally. look at mark, he's ninety-four and he sure fucking acts like it sometimes. i'm sure i'll start behaving more maturely eventually too."
hyuck pulled you back by your shoulders to look at you.
"yn, i want to be with you. even if you someday realize you don't want to be with me, and its only a for a short time, i still want it. i want to figure this out with you, if that's what you want."
he gently wipes the few tears that fell off your cheeks.
"i want that too hyuck." you nod, leaning into his touch.
"yeah?" his eyes search your face for any doubts.
he doesn't find any.
"yeah."
he lets out the biggest sigh of relief you've ever heard.
"oh thank god, i was so scared you were going to say no and that things were going to be so weird and awkward. bless up, this is awesome!" he starts pumping his hands into the air in celebration.
"hyuck you're supposed to kiss me now," you say, impatiently.
his celebration stop as quickly as it started, "oh shit, right, my bad."
he places one hand on the back of your neck and the other back on your cheek as he pulls you in.
as you fall into the kiss, your mortality worries seem far away and all you can feel is him.
and his lips are warmer than you remember.
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previous ~ masterlist ~ next
a/n: fought for my life while writing this chpt, i hope yall like it! soz for any mistakes >_< next chpt is for real the last chapter of the main story (wink wink)
taglist (open): @miyawwn @nanaxwi @mystverse @mmoonlee @dudekiss3r @honeynanamin @haefelt @nneteyamss @iamsimplyasimp @roseangelxfuma @haechsworld @hyuck-me @catpjimin @toyoongg @sthwaaberry @kim-seungmins-gf @sunghoonsgfreal @sunflowerhae @galacticnct @slayhaechan @multifandomania @jasluvsjae @injunnie-lemon @swanyvess @hahaechans @aerivrs @kirbrary @akunoeyebrows @thegracerammy @snowyseungs @keeryverse @alethea-moon @flaminghotyourmom @elsbunny @introvertatitsfinest @ypoom151999 @1starqi @emptynote @wonswondrland @smilefordongil @onlyforyoukook @gomdoleemyson @jaehyunandonly @kukkurookkoo @lampcults @nightcat101 @hyuckna25 @yanagisprettygf
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mmirx · 1 day ago
Text
AFTERTHOUGHT ⋆⑅˚₊
Who were you if not unremarkable? You had finally come into terms that you are someone who was meant to stay in everyone’s shadow, but not until you met Caleb, or so you thought.
cw/tags: PART 2 of this, university au, non-mc reader, frat guy caleb (but not really important), angst, jealousy, self-loathing (please just lmk if i missed more cw, i just cant identify more as of now)
note: i dont know what im writing but im enjoying it, so suffer (kidding). the guy that inspired me to write this recently posted smth, so I HAD TO. he looks good and i hate it. nway, this might be shorter than i originally planned bcs 1) i might cut some parts 2) univ is so demanding
word count: 865
Scrolling through your archives, you saw a picture you took a year ago—one in the range where the archery team in your university frequented. It reminded you of  the fact that it was around the same time when you started to orbit around Caleb's circle.
The first time you saw him was when you were thirty minutes late for orientation of the organization that you wanted to join. At first, you didn't notice him at all because you were too embarrassed to look around. I mean you were late and had to walk towards the front since there were no seats available near the entrance. Where's a catastrophe when you need one?
Anyway, after you introduced yourself as someone whose desire is to advocate for human rights, you finally had the chance to look around—you saw him immediately. Why?  Someone that tall couldn't go unnoticed. His looks alone could prove the existence of a divine creature; God probably pats himself to congratulate himself whenever he sees Caleb.
You thought that would be last time you'd see him. It wasn't. 
After gushing over him to your friend, you found that he's also in the archery team. They were literally teammates, so being the ever-supported she is, she devised a plan: you'd be tagging along during their training sessions.
And that started it all.
Initially, you started questioning why you even agreed to this since it wasn't like you were desperate to find someone right at the moment. However, after several attempts of your friend, Zan, urging you to push through, you accepted defeat. Plus, it wasn't that bad of an idea—you have a crush on him, so why not?
The plan was to present yourself as someone carefree and effortlessly cool. That was the plan. But fate is cruel—such a dramatic conclusion—because when Caleb arrived, you didn't even get to say ‘hi’ at him. Your reason? Nothing, you just happen to not be able to say anything because you froze. God forbid your mouth that seems to automatically work every inconvenient moment stops working the moment you needed to be social.
It was embarrassing, even for you. 
A voice suddenly came from your back knocking you off your little reminiscing moment. You looked around to see MC approaching with a frown. There she was again, looking like an angel sent in the world of mortals as an apology for every sin that everyone had committed. You pondered every day how someone can be your friend at all too.
“Lost your hearing?" she said laced with sarcasm and affection.“I missed you," she sighed dramatically as she tried to take away your supply of oxygen with her embrace.
“Oh, dear, I know." 
"Can we go get lunch together? I ditched Caleb for today.” 
Oh. They were supposed to eat together? You didn't know what to feel as your stomach formed a circus within its premises. It felt funny and unsettling. To be honest, you're a fool for even getting surprised with how they do the most mundane things with each other. You hated yourself for having such thoughts because you guys were perfect as friends. It's starting to feel as if you were the problem with all these negative thoughts that you concoct nonstop.
“Serves him right,” you laughed as if you didn't bear any thoughts you just had, "but I don't think I can join you today, MC.”
You had to decline her but not because of your self-loathing! It just happens that you have to finish a group presentation today with people you barely know. Another challenge for you.
You heard her sigh dramatically—it almost made you laugh. Her theatrics never seemed to be on a time out. Truthfully, you wanted to be with her, too, because it might remind you more of the reasons why you were in each other's lives.
“Trust me, if this shit wasn't so important, I'd choose to eat with you." You tried to defend yourself to not make it seem like it wasn't out of willingness that you won't join her.
“I know, it's just, you know you're too busy these days. I mean, I know why because you're such an exceptional woman but still!”
You? Exceptional? Those words being in a same sentence doesn't feel right at all. Was she blind?
“You’re trying to flatter me! But I'll call you once my schedule lets me. I promise, MC.”
She sighed defeatedly as she bid her goodbye. You really did feel bad for not having been with her for such a time. You missed the times when you didn't feel comparatively smaller to her.
You walked for minutes. Gosh, didn't know university was a field for you to battle with so much stairs. But as you neared towards the range, you heard a familiar voice.
“I mean, I don't even know how I managed to put up with her.”
Was that him?
“Didn't you approach her only because you were trying to recruit someone that time?" 
You knew that voice, a senior of yours and MC’s. They were laughing. You had a bad feeling brewing up. 
All was confirmed when the first voice spoke again.
It was him.
Caleb.
tag(s): @justpassingdontworry
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darthwhorecrux · 3 days ago
Text
Based on this wonderful request from my baby girl @tomitsulikeslemons !!!! DADDY SHINJI (literally)
🤰
Somehow, you knew there was new life growing inside of you. A woman's intuition, you supposed, but the positive test result in front of you confirmed it.
You were pregnant with your husband, Shinji Hirako's child.
At this verified discovery, a flurry of emotions hit you at once, and you began to sob. Overwhelmed, you sank to your knees in the bathroom as you tried to comprehend what this meant, your world flipped upside down without the need for your husband's zanpakuto. You were ready and you were not, excited and terrified, confident and insecure. One moment you were smiling, crying happily and laughing through your tears, and the next your brows were furrowing together, worry tugging at your heart that what if you weren't a good mother? What was going to happen to you now that you were going to be responsible for another human? Were you a bad person for thinking these things? No, you were happy. So, so happy. Putting your hand on your belly, you hadn't met your child yet, and you already had so much love for them, more love than you had for anything or anyone else in this world.
And speaking of love, Shinji, you breathed, your silly Shinji, your other half, the father of your child, what would he think?
You had talked about having children with him, so the concept wasn't entirely foreign, but you weren't exactly trying per se. He never disapproved of the idea, but this was sure to be overwhelming for him too. How would he take this?
He'd been so busy as a Captain now, you hadn't even got around to telling him that night. Or the next. It wasn't until the third night that the truth became too heavy for you to carry on your own.
He was being stupid and oblivious, too busy thinking with his dick and trying to get you out of your clothes. The kind of behavior that got you in this situation in the first place, he initially didn't notice your anxious mannerisms.
But your dearest wasn't a complete moron as so many thought of him. Observant, sensitive, and intuitive, when he snaked his arms around you from behind, you felt him still.
"Wait a minute," he whispered before spinning you around to face him, pressing a hand into your chest to confirm his suspicions. "You're shaking, and your heart's racing. Sweetheart?"
The jig was up. You tried to smile, but it came out crooked and frightened. It only made his face further contort with worry.
"I have something to tell you," you confessed timidly.
Shinji frowned deeply and released you. "Oh, shit. Please don't divorce me."
You couldn't help but scoff at him. "You dork! I'm not going anywhere!" He always had a way of making you laugh when you needed it most, but you couldn't keep putting this off. You exhaled shakily, "actually, it's quite the opposite..."
The poor, confused bastard. He raised an eyebrow at you, not quite following. "The opposite? The opposite..." He narrowed his eyes in thought.
"Shinji." Exasperated, you grabbed the hand he dropped from your heart, splaying his fingers over your stomach. "I'm pregnant."
His narrowed eyes shot open, brightening at your words. He looked at your tummy, as if he'd already find a bulge there, then back up at you again, then back down, then back up. He was being so quiet, your man who normally never shut up, it unnerved you. You were raising your eyebrows at him expectantly, needing him to say something, anything.
Then he was kneeling before you, putting both of his hands on your stomach, in disbelief that his child, his, was growing somewhere in there. "No way," he breathed, smoothing his palms over the surface of your torso. "You're pregnant? Really?" He looked up from where he knelt, his sharp features gone soft.
"Mhm." You nodded, smiling gently, his softness contagious.
Shinji looked at your belly again, gasping in disbelief, processing your words. His silence again worried you, made you reach for his hair and tangle your fingers through it, hoping to get his attention.
He shot up from where he knelt, startling you, scooping you into his arms and spinning you around in a flash, whooping and hollering maniacally. He placed you back on your feet to hug you and deliver sloppy, innocent smooches all over your face, smothering you.
He pulled back, panting, holding you by your shoulders. "I knew I was a sharp shooter, but this - this!" He shook you, laughing. "Holy shit! I'm gonna be a dad! I'm really gonna be a dad!" He chanted, grinning wide. "And you!" His voice broke off as he curled a hand around your jaw, looking utterly soft and kissable again. "Oh, my little mommy! My sweet baby's havin' a baby! My baby's gonna be a mommy!"
Emotion exploded almost painfully in your chest as you were reminded of that fact for a second time. You were going to be a mother, and him a father. The father of your child. The statement didn't seem true, but alas, it was. His excitement made tears spring from your eyes all over again. Your lip wobbled but strained into a smile as you joined in his laughter. He understood the weight of your emotions, pulling you into his chest in a suffocating embrace to sob it out. He rubbed your back and thought aloud over and over again, "I'm gonna be a dad. We're gonna be parents."
You stayed in his arms for a long time, standing there, and then in bed, relishing in the comfort and safety you felt when you were with him. You were grateful your child would grow up to experience the same, to be loved and protected by someone so special. When you were finally calmed down enough, he had something else to say.
"I'm gonna be such a dilf."
.𖥔 ݁ ˖🍁๋࣭ ⭑🍂༘⋆
The seasons were different, more meaningful, as your baby grew through each of them. The rest of the autumn and holiday season was special now that there was an impending addition to your family. As the leaves fell and the weather changed, you were reminded of the change happening within you. You frequently made and shared cozy, nourishing meals and treats with Shinji, spent more time cuddled up with him rubbing your belly and whispering sweet nothings in your ear as the evenings got darker and colder. Quality time spent with him was more frequent, slower, more deliberate.
At holiday festivals with your friends, you and Shinji had to find ways to cover the fact that you weren't throwing back drinks as you normally would, being that the pregnancy was still only in the beginning stages and you had yet to break the news to them. You were never alone, your husband always at your side, careful, calculating, safeguarding.
"Oh, she's not feeling well tonight," he'd speak for you, protectively slinging an arm around your shoulder and tugging you into his side, glaring at the person prodding you.
On the occasion that he let you respond, you'd save yourself with something as simple and uncomfortable as "ah, I've been putting on some pounds recently, and I'm trying to cut back on the extra calories," pretending that you were ashamed of your growing stomach when really you were elated.
"Yeah, you are looking a little more filled out these days," Soi Fon replied impassively when you told her this, making your jaw drop despite the fact that you were mostly lying.
"What the hell does that mean?" You had to pull Shinji back from getting into an argument with her, nervously laughing it off and excusing her blunt nature.
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
Then came the harsh winter, and you didn't mind so much being stuck indoors this year. You enjoyed staying at home with your little bun in the oven, taking long, warm baths, lighting candles, asking Shinji to bring you home whatever you were craving that day. You were actually starting to fill out now, and so you shared the news with a few close compatriots in the new year.
"Oh, congratulations!" Orihime beamed, hugging you, holding your hand, and talking your ear off about motherhood, being that she already had a little boy with Ichigo.
"Yeah, congrats." Ichigo smiled in agreement, proudly slapping Shinji on the back. "Little scary that Hirako's gonna be a dad, but congrats!"
"HEY!" Your husband frowned.
Rukia asked you about the gender as she watched her own little girl playing with Renji, if you had a preference for a boy or girl. You explained that you and Shinji agreed to let the gender be a surprise, coming up with a variety of names should your child be a boy or girl. You'd both be happy no matter who your child turned out to be, gracious that you were even blessed enough to have a child at all, or so Shinji told you. For every boy name he came up with, there were 3 more girl names. You never nagged him about it, but you had the inkling he wanted to be a girl dad.
Now that people were starting to find out, he was increasingly going all "dad mode," as he called it, not caring who was around to witness it. Shinji always had a bit of a protective streak, but now...you couldn't so much as step outside without him rushing to your side, holding your hand or arm to help you along.
"You could slip on ice!" He'd reason.
"My love, it's nearly fifty degrees out today. There's no ice."
You couldn't blame his overprotective behavior much. You were going through a lot of behavioral changes as well, much worse than anything he was.
For one, you had become incredibly needy for him. It was odd. You'd thought you wouldn't want to be touched being that you were swelling up, but on the contrary, you were constantly in heat, begging for him to satisfy you no matter the place or time.
"You sure you want this? What if I accidentally poke junior?" He'd grin and tease you.
"You're big, but you're not that big, Shinji. Just fuck me already."
"Ouch. So impatient, momma," he tsked. "But I guess I've got to take care of my wife, don't I?"
And for another thing, you were a rollercoaster of uncontrollable emotions, especially the more your pregnancy progressed. You were constantly snapping over the smallest of irritants or bursting into tears over minor inconveniences, like the day Shinji brought you a tray of sushi in an attempt to cheer you up after you were already having a particularly difficult day.
"You idiot! I can't have sushi!" You shouted at him, heated with fury over such a small matter and with the effort it took to fight off tears.
"Ah, forgot about that." Shinji scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, dumbly.
It made you explode, a cascade of waterworks streaming down your cheeks. Another thing that had changed was how much softer he was with you, if it was even possible for him to get any more so, despite how bitchy you had been. So then you were crying because of your hot-temper, hurt curling around and squeezing your heart at the helpless way he looked when you yelled at him.
"I'm being so mean to you! I'm so sorry! I'm a horrible wife!"
"What?! No!" He'd pet your hair and kiss your tears away. "If anything, I deserved it. I am an idiot for getting you sushi. Wasn't thinkin', doll. I'm sorry."
Shinji had learned a lot of patience through the months, and it made him a better man in every aspect of his life, not just at home. He was never the most tightly-wound, but he had mellowed out considerably as he took care of you and his unborn child each day, growing into a gentle guardian before you had even given birth.
"He's been so calm lately," Momo informed you over lunch one day. "Training has been a lot less strenuous. Everyone on the squad keeps joking that they hope you stay pregnant forever," she giggled.
"Glad I could be of help," you giggled along with her.
˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧💌˚.⋆🌿
When the spring came, you were much bigger, getting ready to blossom just as the season was. As it got warmer and sunnier, Shinji made a show of shading you wherever you went, protecting your sensitive skin from the sun, and on those stormy days, he stayed inside with you, making you comfort food and falling asleep with his head in your lap as you read aloud or listened to music, introducing your child to the art you loved so much.
The fickle weather reminded you of your inner world, the way one day you'd wake up sunny, full of joy and love and readiness to meet your baby, and the next, stormy, full of trepidation and worry and unpreparedness, fretting constantly over the questions you had been asking yourself since day one: Will I be a good mother? Will I be able to handle this? Am I a bad person for being so afraid? For feeling so unprepared? Should I be doing more?
Shinji was always there to listen and coax you out of the storm, massaging your sore back as the rain fell outside, he'd confess his own worries.
"I feel the same way," he'd say. "Some days, I feel on top of the world, like I can do anything, and fatherhood won't be any different, but other days, not so much. I'm anxious about being a good father too.
"But we're in this together." He placed his hands over your stomach in the shape of a heart. "And I know you'll be a great mother, so why shouldn't I be a great father too?"
"You will be a great father. You already are," you assured him sincerely.
Your baby stirred inside as if to say, "yes, he is! Yes you are!"
"OH, OH! SHE KICKED! SHE KICKED!" Shinji shrieked, feeling around in hopes of catching another flurry of movement.
"She?!" You laughed excitedly.
"Or he. I don't know, it just slipped out." He chuckled abashedly.
You smiled knowingly to yourself. "Maybe she's excited about hearing her daddy talk so sweet."
"Yeah, maybe." He smiled.
𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
Now came summer, and you were about to pop. It was as if an eternity passed and simultaneously, no time passed at all. You were changed and you weren't. You remembered the day you found out like yesterday, feeling almost exactly the way you did that day, but more matured. One thing was for sure, no matter how scared you were, you were ready. You'd never felt more ready for anything in your life, bursting with love and impatience, needing to meet your child, whoever they were, whoever they'd become.
Shinji felt the same way, and he had become equal parts amusing and annoying as you approached your due date.
"You think today's the day?" "How you feelin'? How's our girl...or boy?" "What was that?! Are you having contractions?!"
You laughed at him. "No, I just stubbed my toe."
You surprised yourself with how calm you were even though you were soon to be ripped open. Sitting outside under an umbrella next to Shinji, you were sucking on a popsicle, enjoying the hot day when there was a faint cramping sensation in your abdomen, so light, you hardly noticed and ignored it.
But then it was there again several minutes later, a little more noticeable this time. You straightened in your seat, which caught Shinji's attention, always on high alert.
"What is it?" He asked urgently, staring at your large, round stomach.
"Just a little cramping." You forced a smile.
He gave you a pointed look.
"I don't think we should panic yet. My body's doing funny things all the time." You waved a hand dismissively. "And I haven't finished my popsicle."
It was barely a moment later, Shinji hadn't even a chance to retort, that you were straightening again, gasping as pain shot up your back, making you drop your popsicle.
Your husband shot to his feet. "We're going," he demanded, pulling you up to stand. "Better safe than sorry."
The last thing you saw before being ushered away was your popsicle melting against the concrete, leaving a red stain. And it was a good thing, that he was permanently in dad mode, stealing you away from your quiet day and your treat, because you were indeed going into labor.
The long hours that followed were a fast-paced blur. The peaceful summer day was suddenly bursting with feeling and noise, the cold air conditioning inside the hospital fighting against your sweaty skin, strange sensations and haziness. You could hardly process what was going on, blinded with pain, the only person who grounded you was Shinji, your rock. He sounded distant, but he reminded you over and over again that he wasn't.
"It'll be okay, sweetheart, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
All the pain, the damage inflicted on your body, the blood, sweat, and tears, it was all worth it the moment your baby came out, and your life had finally changed for the better, a love like you had never felt before truly coming to fruition as reality shifted in front of you. You'd do it all again. You'd take this feeling, this unconditional love, and bottle it up to carry with you forever if you could.
"It's a boy!" The doctor cheered.
When you finally got to hold your baby boy, nothing else mattered. The entire world was in your hands, so fragile and so precious that it made you sob uncontrollably in your exhausted and delirious state, cooing to him as he cried, talking to him and telling him how beautiful he was, how much you loved him.
It was extremely rare that Shinji ever cried, and now, there were silent tears streaming down his face, in shock that he played a part in creating this beautiful, little boy. Like you, he knew this was the epitome of love in the flesh before you. You both knew the moment you saw him, you'd do anything for him.
Shinji, who didn't get to have his baby girl (yet), was so in awe of his little guy. He held him with a tenderness and reverence unlike anything you'd seen, crawling into the hospital bed with you to cuddle up as a real family. He took care of you, softly as usual, as you came back to health, and he cherished every little moment of this newborn stage, chattering nonstop to the nurses, the doctor, to you, to friends, to family, anyone who would listen about his son, his son!
"I'm in love," he confessed as he held the tiny boy at home for the first time.
"So am I."
Your son started to bob his head against Shinji's chest, looking to be fed.
Your husband passed him over to you with a smug grin. "Oh yeah, he's a ladies man for sure. Just like his daddy." He winked.
Motherhood was everything you imagined and somehow everything you hadn't all at once. Your son had challenged you, changed you, shaped you in ways you couldn't explain. You were constantly tired yet always finding it in you to go, go, go, constantly stressing but somehow relaxed as ever, knowing this was exactly where you were always meant to be.
And Shinji, he was a fantastic, eccentric, loving father, as you had no doubt he would be. Hearing him playing with your little boy and the sounds of your baby's laughter quickly became your favorite sound in the whole wide world. Your heart swelled each time you saw Shinji twirling him in the air or blowing raspberries into his chubby belly. He was a new man, matured, with quiet strength and so much affection to give, one you were so deeply in love with it was incomprehensible.
He had become great around children generally, not just your son. On play dates with the little Kurosaki and Abarai toddlers, the children would chase your husband and pull his hair and roar with laughter at his quick wit and goofy antics. You rested easy knowing your son would grow to live a vibrant life with lots of love and laughter, never a dull moment with Shinji's playful nature.
You'd never been happier, and you were grateful for every day, every moment, even those filled with stress and struggle and challenge. You continued to grow and raise your son, both happy and sad at how beautiful it was to witness but how fast it happened. Shinji bought him a toy sword and you imagined him years and years from now, with a zanpakuto of his own, getting into dangerous battles, and you already fretted over your baby boy. He'd get taller and stronger, but he'd be your baby forever.
You mourned the loss of previous baby stages as he hit each new milestone, consuming food besides milk, starting to babble, walking, talking, learning new things and amazing you with how smart he was. It was bittersweet, but it wouldn't be the last time you got to experience it as you witnessed that positive test result for the second time.
"Ready to do it again?" You asked your husband with a grin, so much changed already from the last time you told him you were pregnant, shown in the very way you revealed this to him.
"Of course I am, mommy!" Shinji lifted your son in the air. "Of course we are!" Your little boy giggled and cheered, though he didn't know yet what he was cheering for. "Though I do have a request for how to do things differently this time round..."
"And what is that?" You giggled.
"When we can, we find out the gender." He raised his eyebrows hopefully.
"You still want a girl, don't you?" You came forward, kissing your son on the cheek.
"I love my mini me so much obviously," Shinji nuzzled him affectionately, "but yeah. I do."
"Then a girl we'll have." You kissed your husband.
And you did.
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collectivephilosopher · 3 days ago
Text
ARCANE WASTED POTENTIAL (PART 6)
(An analysis of Arcane's missed opportunity and what could have been. The title might be a little confusing but since I've started by it, I've decided to stuck with it to avoid anyone feeling gaslighted :p)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
About Vi and the enforcer.
To be frank, I'm not against the idea at all. I knew she was a cop in the game so I figured she will be too in S2.
Didn't think they'll botch it but sure.
I made a post asking for anyone's opinion about Vi becoming a cop, specifically in act 1:
See the post here
And from there I can take some points as to most people's problem with this topic.
1. It could work but it was not handled well. I thought people would be against the idea altogether but I was wrong.
2. Vi's shift to my sister is gone was not shown/too fast.
3. Vi feeling sympathy for the councils makes no sense. And if the point was that she was feeling sympathy for Caitlyn instead, it still not believeable enough that she would wear the uniform of her oppressor.
As for me, mostly I agree with this reblog.
It would be believeable that she was guilt tripped into joinning the enforcer in act 1.
I do like the fact that Vi looked awkward and clearly doesn't really want to wear an enforcer outfit in episode 2. That character point was fine. The problem is whatever happened that leads to it.
1. The Jinx part
I agree that it's so jarring that Vi so quickly decided on her sister is gone. Even if this is a character trait (however you want to spin that), we need to see what lead Vi to this conclusion. Aka not having it happened off screen.
You can say Vi stopped seeing Jinx as her sister in the end of season 1 but like... why? Jinx never said they're not sisters anymore. Jinx just said they both have changed.
Even so again, I need to see the innerworking of Vi's mind. Show me her lamenting about Jinx, thinking about her sister for once because all the scene before that is Vi looking at Caitlyn and looking sad/guilty (which I will discuss more in the next part).
2. The councilors part
This is yes, I agree too. Why the hell is Vi feeling bad about dead council? Just in S1 she watched Jayce (accidentally) killed a child and her reaction was showing Jayce her knowledge about the reality of the shit happened in Zaun. She's aware of the councilors' doing. Like, it doesn't have to be her, just look at other Zaunites. No one gives a shit about the councilors dying (they give too much no shit in fact that it became another problem which i will not discuss here) and from episode 4 we know that Zaunites will jump at the chance if they have the strength like Jinx.
Mind you, Vi ending up in stillwater is because the councilors wanted a pound of flesh for Piltover (whether Marcus' doing or whatever lead to that).
"Oh she's feeling bad for Caitlyn not the councilors."
Okay but still not enough. Not enough for her to suddenly think her sister is gone, not enough for her to accept the badge. And it was true. Vi rejected the badge.
Until like, the memorial attack. I don't really get Vi's line of thinking here.
First, she really should be stoned that pilties have funerals and a fucking memorial. Second, I guess she feels bad for that one crying child...? Third, she accepted the badge because caitlyn said,
"Everywhere I slice it, if I go after your sister alone, one of us comes back in a box. It's all coming apart."
So what Caitlyn is saying is basically if she goes after Jinx alone, either Jinx or she will die. And she won't know which one will happen. And Vi's response was... I'll help you... to... what...? To make sure it's my sister who died instead...? I guess at this point she doesn't see Jinx as sister anymore... so... okay man.
3. The Zaun part
I need to see more of the grey too. First we're not gonna discuss Caitlyn's usage of the grey because I'm honestly tired of it. But I need to see how Caitlyn convinced Vi to do it to Zaun. Vi should know about the air quality down there. She grew up with it. But I guess the arguments is that they only use it against "criminals" and they "deserve" it. Y'know, if we ignore how gas works.
My quick fix to this is honestly? Just make Jinx go through with her promise of war. Make Jinx terrorize Piltover more. Make her bombed more enforcers daily. If the attack has not stopped, it would convince Vi more to stop Jinx. It would also help shaping Zaun's image of Jinx.
I don't usually bring League's lore but In Lol Jinx is the mad bomber that Zaunites have mixed feelings on. On one side she put Piltover on their place but on the other side, she also have hurt Zaunites too.
I'm not gonna talk too much about Jinx here since I'm gonna discuss about her in my next post.
And honestly about the entire Vi being an enforcer thing would've make so much better sense if the show showed us Piltover on interpersonal level. As in, showing us what it is like to be normal piltie, not just the high standing houses. The most we get is Jayce who was a toolmaker and Viktor who was a Zaunite living in Piltover. What about other piltovians? We were not shown them as individual but rather a system. And as a system, yes, they are in the wrong.
Enforcers too were only shown as monsters (in S1) and incompetent (in S2) except for caitlyn. We were never shown other type of people who joined the enforcer because let's be real here, they can't just be a collective group of monster.
And you know what? Thinking about that I can't think of any worst wasted potential than these guys:
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First, why are they in the show if the show isn't going to expand more on them? I talked about how Isha's potential was wasted as narrative tool for Jinx's character arc but these guys are way worse because they don't provide any function for Vi's character arc.
The most they do is Maddie being Caitlyn's rebound and Noxus' spy. (But let's be for real, that happened just because the writter wants a "third person in a relationship" character to be hated on.
My poor sweet summer child was made to be hated and cheered when killed.
Oh hey it rhymed
Seriously we don't know their back story, their motivation as enforcer, their feelings, something that made them human. Scratch that, fish guy Steb doesn't even have a line.
Why were they even chosen to be in this super elite team? Hell Maddie was just a junior officer.
My quick fix to this is to just make them all Caitlyn's trusted friends or something. That'll give Caitlyn a motivation to choose them.
Imagine if these guys actually have a character. Imagine that they're actually super excited to hunt down Jinx because Jinx is this hot topic myth amongst the enforcer at the moment. Imagine if Loris joined the enforcer because he was from the undercity or knows someone from the undercity, or just someone close to him really, who were hurt by the mobs down there so he thought joinning the enforcer will make the undercity a "safer place". Imagine if Steb is actually Caitlyn's senior had it not been for Caitlyn's "DeCorATeD OfFiCer" thing and he had a brother who was falsely accused and was thrown in stillwater (SOMEONE would certainly relate to it) so now he joined the enforcer to reform the system but he's struggling. Maddie could openly have a crush on Caitlyn and her and Vi could bond together in that topic, idk. LITERALLY ANYTHING.
I honestly can't think of any other way of Vi's character to progress as enforcer (alright to be fair they did drop enforcer vi plot in the middle) without going with the Attack on Titan route.
Eren came to his enemy's land expecting to see devils. But he then he ate the same food as his enemies, sleep in the same bed and live in the same roof and he realized they're not devils but humans. Children who has been taught doctrines about their enemies. He understand that and still he chose to be a monster and kill all of them.
This could've been Vi's route. That she thinks oh not all of them is bad. There are normal people too like me. People who were working, struggling to make ends. People who are trying to fight, to make the system better.
Now with this information, Vi can then CHOOSE for herself (despite the maybe her rocky guilt tripped start as an enforcer). Whether she'll think these people don't deserve the grief and terror Jinx brings upon them OR she could even think of how these people, struggling as they were, still have ten times better lifestyle than Zaunite. And she can chose to go back to Zaun. But by then it'll be Vi's decision.
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