#It was unhealthy and hard to be motivated while writing all of this in my own little isolated box

[oneluckydragon]

✨🌸 Sunshine on your skin, flowers in my soul 🌸✨

🌊🫧Summary → In the midst of his reconciliation with Team Wish, Dusknoir begins coughing up flowers. This unfortunate brand of bad luck should be a cosmic joke. A spiteful punishment that the world has brought down on him out of malice, out of vengeance for his past deeds. A cruel, agonizing curse manifested with the single unjustified purpose of preventing him from realizing happiness, ever seeking redemption, ever righting his multitudes of wrongs and moving on with his life. But that's not true, and he knows it deep down. Knows it in the very core of his soul like the flood of petals building in this throat.

This is his fault because he is a coward, and that's all he has ever been. A backstabbing, lonely coward.

And now he is going to die because of it.

[AO3]

[CH. I -- Word Count -- 13,290]

🌒💫 Return → the act of going back to a place, person, or memory

[CH. II -- TBA]

[holy-amelie]

idk if it just me being depressed, but I want to live in sunday's dream. Live of escapism with nothing but joy. But I too know it's unhealthy.

AE!reader where joining the crew is their escape from their home planet, so they understand sunday's point of view of things, and to remind him he's not alone and they can grow out of it together.

idk if this is considered trauma dump or not, but if you're uncomfortable, it's okay to not write this too.

lots of love and I hope you have a good day

'Escapism' sfw (Sunday)

...when the world is too cruel ˎˊ˗

·.༄࿔ characters: Sunday, you

·.༄࿔ pairing: Sunday x g/n!AE!reader

·.༄࿔ cw: no tw, fluff and hurt/comfort, non-native english author, written before 2.7, but contains spoilers/leaks, be careful! Can be ooc but this is how I see him at the moment. You are from the Astral Express here.

·.༄࿔ a/n: thank you fror your request! And don't worry, love, I totally understand that feeling 💔 Sometimes I wish I could live in his dream too

Escapism is a refuge for the weary soul, a sanctuary where reality melts away. 

You, more than anyone else on the Express, understand how much we sometimes just want to escape the cruel reality and dissolve into dreams of a better world. That's why, back on Penacony, something in you resonated with Sunday's words.

That incomprehensible promise of paradise he dreamed of so much and sought so desperately.

But no matter how good his intentions may have been, their realization was not… Healthy. Not at all. Trapping everyone in a big, perfect dream with no choice was wrong, you knew that. Even if it was what your heart desperately wanted - a chance to escape reality.

Sunday was mentally crushed after all his dreams of a perfect future without pain and suffering were shattered. It had undermined his whole motivation, his whole purpose in life so much, that he was ready to be destroyed along with those dreams.

Waking up was the hardest part.

"Is there still a paradise?" he whispered, looking out the window at the star-studded canvas of space. "Or is there no place for wounded souls to rest?"

Sunday shifted his gaze to you, his eyes — shining pools of gold filled with endless sadness for everyone lost and abandoned in their pain. Something you've never seen in anyone else. Since he joined the Express, you've talked a lot, sometimes spending nights with a cup of tea away from prying eyes and ears. Underneath the leader's facade was a vulnerable, sensitive soul that was gradually revealing itself to you.

"I don't think this paradise exists," you replied quietly. "But… Even if it doesn't exist, if it can't be built for all who suffer, people are capable of creating safe havens for each other. Even in the most desperate times, people can create their own paradise. Small and fragile, but still."

It was a painful truth that you had to face, just like him. The way this world works, you can't just run away and hide forever. Locking everyone in a golden cage isn't the answer, too. Grief and joy go hand in hand. Without one, the other is meaningless.

He stared at you in silence for a while, trying to comprehend the depth of your words.

"You sound just like my sister," a bitter smile appeared on his lips and Sunday lowered his gaze. "In a good way."

For a while there was a comfortable silence between you, broken only by the hum of the Express' engines and Mart's loud laughter somewhere in the distance. Of course, it's hard to change your worldview at the snap of a finger, it really is, but Sunday tried. For his sister's sake, for the future, for… you.

"I understand how you feel," you said again. "I feel it too. The desire to find relief from suffering. But, Sunday…" you turned to him, and he tilted his head slightly, listening. "This world is complicated. Sometimes cruel, sometimes beautiful. Everyone has their own path, sometimes paved with suffering, and… Here at the Express, we can help those in need. And bring happiness back to them. Without forcing into anything. Without sacrificing our own happiness to create eternal paradise."

“Do you think I still have a chance to bring something good into this world?” he asked.

You just nodded. Despite everything, his soul was still noble and pure. If his intentions were channeled in the right direction, Sunday could be a ray of hope in the darkness for many.

“Then…” he smiled, much softer this time, not taking his eyes off you. “Will you be ready to find a new path with me?”

Of course. You will.

please, do not rewrite/copy/repost/translate my work without me knowing, you can always ask first, thanks

[toto-the-cactus]

Primarchs + Daughters (3)

I wanna start by apologizing for taking this long in writing the last part of this train-wreck I decided to start because I came down with a bad case of the snots and didn't have the motivation to write until the vitamin c and antiflu-des kicked in. So far I'm good and just waiting for my vacations. The wonders of working now in the school system is that now u get vacations more often, yay!

Anyway, here ya go! The last one!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Magnus The Red

Honestly, I like Magnus. He is the kind of tragic man that gets a woman swooning. Make him a girl dad and you’ll be knocking heads down. I’ll be going at this with the possibility that any child that this guy sires will pop out as a psyker (the possibility is high if those swimmers managed to get the reader knocked up, tbf) so here we go. Let’s see… despite all the past mistakes during the heresy, we are talking about a Primarch that, while still kinda inhuman in many aspects, was very welcoming and showed quite the approachable disposition to anyone that had a curious mind. With that in mind, this mf would encourage his little girl to always ask him anything to stimulate her hunger for knowledge. Have you been around a child that is in the stages of the ‘Why’s’? Magnus will make it worse by always asking his daughter if she wants to know about a certain topic, going in an endless cycle of ramblings because there’s nothing that will make this man happier than to feed his precious girl endless amounts of information. Even when he spoils his child like the rightful princess that she is, he’ll still be strict about her behavior and tuition; being well aware that, to the outside world, she’ll be expected to act and speak in a certain proper way. Now, the tricky part about him when it comes to teaching his little girl how to control her psyker abilities. We all know that, when still with good intentions, Magnus was too damn arrogant when dealing with the fuckery of the Warp with little to no caution when he had already been warned about it. It didn’t matter that much when it was only him and his Legion dealing with it, but his baby girl on the other hand… ho boy, the good ol’ saying “do as I say, not as I do” could easily fit here. The Primarch more than likely will hammer the strict rule to his daughter that no psyker power usage unless he’s there to supervise and help her. HE is a demigod, the son of the Mighty Emperor of Mankind; in his perspective, he knows how to ignore (at least he thinks so) the poisonous whispers of the aether. Unless his child becomes of-age and has a much better grip over her abilities, MAYBE he’ll allow her to do as she wishes. Of course, only when she is residing at Prospero and very away from some of her uncles.

Horus Lupercal

The favorite golden boy of the Emperor himself! With how charismatic this man is, one can get an idea that he’ll be an incredible dad… and you would be right, but there are also little aspects that make this guy a whole new spectrum of his own. Remember that I mentioned once that Fulgrim would try and raise his daughter in a manner that she'll follow the exact path he’ll set for her? It’s kind of the same thing here, but Horus does it in such a subtle and gentle way that it’s hard to even call it gaslight. He’s just too damn charming that his own baby girl does as he says without questioning him because, to this poor child, her papa can’t do any bad in her eyes… and this man eats it all up. They feed each other their mutual hunger for their admiration and it’s amazing nothing too bad comes out of it. Probably some unhealthy dependent behavior if the issue isn’t nipped properly when she gets older, but overall, Horus’ little princess would never wish for anything. Just as much as the Primarch asks for his daughter to do as he says, he isn’t too tyrannical to force her to undergo a harsh training and he’ll be more pressed for the girl to become more like a politician or anything that doesn’t put her in the line of danger because, after all is said and done, the demigod still loves and cherish his little girl. Her precious miracle. While many may think that Horus would try and manipulate his daughter to do as he says, yall need to be aware that (in this guy’s case) he doesn’t even realize that he’s using too much Nat20 Charisma over his little girl and genuinely thinks that it’s normal for children to blindly obey their fathers and that mostly comes from his warped perception of parenthood that he learned from Big E. Just like with the Legions of Sanguinius, Leman and Guilliman, the Luna Wolves Legion would adore the little lady to the point of being a bit overbearing. They see her as another extension of their Primarch, very different from how they are created as astartes, and that simply leaves them all both intrigued and amazed. I’ll be merciful with yall and avoid touching the landmine of angst that the Heresy would be because this one got a bit long and we gotta jump to the next mf. Next!

Lorgar Aurelian

Ho, fucking hell… So, first off, this is a walking drama. Period. I can defend Lorgar about certain aspects that were out of his complete control but at the end of the day, he is plenty of guilty from some of the actions that lead to the dry-fuck that the heresy was. But we’re here to judge this bastard by papa points and not his war crimes (if that were the case, I would never end this chuckle-fuck post), so let’s fucking go. Despite what we all imagine, Lorgar is quite decent at being a good father. He’ll still try to force his child into a religious path, but since he already worships his SO as a goddess, his little girl is nothing but his absolute treasure so I don’t see him being more forceful than necessary with her. Any little doodle and gibberish done by his precious girl will be hanged nearby to where Lorgar works to keep close and be constantly reminded of his family. Honestly, of all the Primarchs, this guy is the sappiest one and I can’t help but feel kinda bad when thinking about the heresy outcome. He genuinely loves hanging with his little girl, encouraging her in any craft that may make her happy. Their bonding time is spent with Lorgar reading small tales that his daughter messily writes, wishing to see if her father would approve of her writing but jokes on her because hell would freeze first before this man ever says anything that would upset his baby girl. Unless he’s at a long campaign, nothing would stop this guy to be the one to tuck and kiss goodnight to his princess, for he needs to make sure that she is safe and sound at their palace along with her mother. If anything, this man tetters in the thin line of being quite overbearing, but he sometimes manages to reel himself back by sheer miracle. Where most of his brother would try to keep their budding family away and hidden, Lorgar would show off his daughter to the high heavens and back because, to him, the birth of his little girl is nothing but a gift given by his father, the God-Emperor himself, so why should he keep her away from the light of her grandfather too? Like many others have proposed, I like the idea of the Emperor taking the daughter and SO of Lorgar during the burning of Monarchia, effectively driving my man to his last restrain. Like many of the traitor Primarchs, this girl has no happy ending. She’ll probably be shunned and sneered at for the actions of her father while she’s kept trapped in the golden walls of the Imperial Palace at Terra, unable to ever go home because her grandfather had decided that he actually wished to be a parental figure for her. Ironic how that sounded worse.

Vulkan

Ah man, this one is just self explanatory. This big guy is the magazine example of a dedicated father. He was already one of the few Primarchs that could and loved being around kids, even if his size made it quite hard to maneuver around them. Having a daughter only makes this man even more tender. If any of the Salamanders ask their Primarch how his SO and daughter are doing, no force in the universe will stop this man happily showing the new doodle his precious gem did for him or telling them how his princess managed to read a whole sentence that day without a stutter. This guy just sPILLS love whenever he thinks about the little girl that he helped to create. If it were for him, Vulkan would prefer for his precious gem to dedicate herself to anything that has NOTHING to do with the Imperium. He wants her to be happy and safe no matter what, but he’s well aware that his daughter is her own person and that she’ll eventually make her own decisions without his input. Just like Khan, Vulkan will be quite the loving father (the most expressive of them all) but he’ll not be shy about having to be harsh when needed. No spoiled brats will be raised by him. I love to imagine that this little girl has an entire chest full of the little trinkets that her ‘Big Bros’ and her father gifts her: jewelry, toys, decorations, etc. This precious child is probably the happiest in the universe. There’s a chance that, as she grows, she would ask her father to teach her how to work in the art of smithy not only because she admires the Primarch, but because the little girl genuinely grew interested in the arts of working the metal over the fire. Yall, this one is just too sweet I am dying!!

Corvus Corax

Now, this man is one of the many that are hard to read for me but I am a slave of the masses and I must fulfill my fate so here comes nothing. This fun fella is quite the contradiction when it comes to parenthood since his own doubtfulness and depressing disposition clash terribly with the love and protectiveness he suddenly feels when seeing his daughter for the first time. The one thing that doesn’t change at all is his ever present determination to do his best to fulfill his role as both Primarch and new father. It sounds so incredibly inspiring and nice when you put it at first like that, but Corvus is the kind of guy that would look at his child crying and, unable to understand what she wants, he carries her around until he finds his SO for help because he’s just so fucking LOST, clueless, of what entails properly caring for a baby. Of course that only happens during the first months of the little girl having been born, because Corvus, my good man, is anything but lazy and dumb. He’ll wish to be involved mostly to ease his SO responsibilities regarding their precious child and because he is genuinely curious about the sweet little thing he helped to create. To him, the whole thing of raising his baby girl is both fascinating and scary and to be fair, his reactions regarding fatherhood are probably the most humane in that regard. I eventually can see my man being quite good at calming his little princess down thanks to his capacity at reading her emotions like the palm of his hand. These two would rarely need words to communicate between each other, sometimes making their staring off quite unnerving to the outsiders eyes. With how sensible this guy is, it's easy for Corvus to convey (unorthodoxly) his love to his daughter and like most of his brothers would do, he usually spoils her to the best of his capacities but tries his best to not make a brat out of her too. Hide and Seek are their favorite game and a good way to train his little girl in the arts of slipping through the enemies with the help of the shadows, making their games a whole new level of skill which gets even more interesting when any astartes asks to participate. I feel it’s kind of sad that this precious girl was quite close to her father with how much he liked to be involved in her raising, so when he disappeared through the Warp she felt the loss of her father the same way one loses a limb.

Alpharius/Omegon

This one feels more like a fever dream fueled by quetiapine because, to any little girl born from either twin, the WHOLE Alpha Legion are her papa. Just like the SO of those two lunatics, it would take time for their daughter to start understanding and pinpointing the differences between astartes, Alpharius and Omegon respectively. Just… jfc. Like, imagine this precious little thing walking and playing around and a group of Alpha Legion astartes pass by and she simply says “Hi, papa!” To. Each. One. Of. Them. Alpharius and Omegon take it as a funny little gag between them and an excellent way to ensure that their daughter never feels neglected but the SO isn’t amused about it.

There we go. Dump whatever fun facts yall wanna add too. I don't mind <333

[jamtlandsarkiv]

This is kind of DenSu related, I guess. What are your thoughts on the Scandinavian trio during the Kalmar Union? I have my own thoughts, but would love to hear yours.

June 6th, 2024 was the 501st anniversary of Sweden leaving the Kalmar Union!

The Kalmar Union era was a fascinating and widely misunderstood period that strongly affected the region. I wrote a list of common misconceptions, a summary of the period plus a thought experiment about how it might have affected Mathias and Björn under the cut!

It really topples my chimney to see people use the Kalmar Union period to justify why DenSu would have an unhealthy relationship. Here is a quick summary of the most common misconceptions in the fandom about the union:

Sweden was forced into the union. No, the union was a voluntary agreement proposed by Denmark to combat a powerful union of German states that would threaten the Nordic states' dominance in the Baltic Sea region.

The union was a period of severe oppression for Swedes. No, the first 50 years of the union were peaceful and the union achieved its goal of creating a unified Nordic region. The conflicts began later in the union's lifespan as the Danish authorities attempted to centralize power under the Danish crown and attempted to introduce laws that the Swedes deemed unfavorable.

The Stockholm Bloodbath was a civilian massacre. No, it was a mass execution of politically influential anti-union aristocrats as punishment for coordinating armed rebellions against the Danish king.

I'll be honest: the way I write Mathias, Björn, their backgrounds and their roles in society, they would have no interactions with each other that were motivated by the union. The idea is that in my Nationverse, all immortals live as unassuming citizens. They could take on political roles, but they'll have to work hard to climb the ladder like anyone else, and they can't hold on to power forever (as they would have to "die"). Björn in particular lives in northern Sweden, very far away from the conflicts that arose as a consequence of the union.

The Kalmar Union was a mutual agreement proposed by Queen Margareta of Denmark and agreed upon by various leaders of Sweden. The union was established in 1397. The goal of the union was to combat the increasingly powerful Hansen union between the German states. The two member states agreed to collaborate economically, establish a common foreign policy and provide military support to each other. Danish King Erik was crowned as the king of the union.

Because Denmark was the most populous member of the union then and the union's leadership was overwhelmingly Danish, the Swedes grew increasingly dissatisfied at the union. They believed that its terms transferred power to Denmark and were unfairly disadvantageous to Sweden. The first protest of the union, the Engelbrekt Rebellion of 1434, was in response to a tax hike across the union to fund Denmark's war against German state Holstein. Swedes were already unhappy at being drafted into Denmark's faraway war, which came with the additional disadvantage that Sweden, as a member state in their union, wasn't able to export to an important trade partner. This pattern of events (Denmark doing something that didn't benefit Sweden, Swedes protesting against it) continued over the next century and built a strong anti-union political current.

The Stockholm Bloodbath was the tipping point of the anti-union movement. Swedes, thoroughly exhausted of the union by the 1500s, protested the crowning of Danish King Kristian II as the King of Sweden. Several influential aristocrats associated with the pro-independence Sture Party coordinated civilian rebellions against Kristian II, but were unsuccessful in overthrowing him. The Danish and Swedish authorities came to an agreement that Kristian II would be crowned King of Sweden, while the Sture Party associates would be granted amnesty. Kristian II invited these aristocrats to his coronation in Stockholm under the guise of a peaceful meeting, only to carry out his true plan to walk back on the agreement and execute them for treason. Unsurprisingly, this only strengthened the anti-union sentiment and Sweden, led by Gustav Vasa, exited the union in 1523. (The remainder of the Party also opposed Vasa and were executed by him several years later.)

Now you all know why I always roll my eyes at the notion that Björn would have been executed at the Stockholm Bloodbath. It explicitly suggests that he was a prominent political figure with anti-union sympathies who had a hand in orchestrating a rebellion against the King of the Kalmar Union. I really do not like writing these fictional characters as having significant influence in a universe that's about experiencing real history. The way I write the characters is that they live as regular citizens unnoticed by humans, while their interpersonal relations with other immortals are partially based on historical events. The character's home region factors strongly into their life story and relationships as well, which is why my Northern Swedish Björn has a much less violent rivalry with Mathias than a Southern Björn would.

The relationship between Mathias and Southern Björn during this period could be represented as them agreeing to work together against a common threat, but their differences eventually tore them apart and made them enemies. They wouldn't be enemies or have a one-sided relationship in the present day. Björn could possibly have participated in some of the many anti-union rebellions that were carried out by armed civilians, although it's unlikely that he would have come face-to-face with Mathias in combat unless Mathias was serving in the Danish Army. Denmark did not have independent civilian combatants.

Many other inhumane attacks against civilians occurred during this period that could justify a more hateful relation between these two, but I do not treat these characters as representatives of their states, leaders, governments, monarchies, authorities and so on. Their beliefs and life stories are a combination of the culture of the people they represent and their unique experiences. Their lives aren't reenactments of their authorities' every decision.

[imnotevenusin]

Explaining some placements in my Natal Chart

1. Taurus Mars: Honestly, I am kinda slow to taking action on most things. Usually, I don’t get that defensive, and I’m more comfortable with letting things slide; I don’t have enough energy for confrontation sometimes.

- squaring Neptune: Mars square Neptune is my worst aspect imo. This placement makes it hard for me to feel motivated; daydreaming is my go to, but I’m “working” on trying to knock down my goals in a realistic manner. I think this also makes my actions misconstrued by others - I always got in trouble and perceived as suspicious by others.

2. Mercury in Leo 11°: My laugh is contagious. A Leo Mercury gets attention from the way they communicate or laugh.

- opposing Neptune: Fucking terrible. All my words come out so wrong and jumbled together. An unhealthy amount of daydreaming too. I’ve always been a creative writer tho.

- conjunct Saturn: This one is annoying too. I do feel like my comments or opinions get ignored sometimes. And I gotta talk slowly to get the best sentences out. In general, Mercury-Saturn eventually makes you smart and well-educated; Saturn takes out what isn’t necessary and makes you think about something longer before you say it.

3. Aries Moon: I’ve definitely witnessed my Mom taking the leadership role in the household while growing up. She’s always wanted me to be more militant and confident. Even when I think something isn’t a big deal, she’ll take it very seriously. I’ve also heard of the Aries Moons having big foreheads-trend.

I think this is the most sensitive Moon sign, because the Moon is such a vulnerable planet and Aries feels everything so fast. Whenever I face emotional problems - or discomfort, I like to work out, or listen to loud music. Its like this weird energy rush.

3rd House Moon trine Mercury: Mind is racing constantly. I like to write out my feelings and thoughts to feel better. I can accurately analyze my emotional state. I’m a good student too—not so much with homework—and I can easily pay attention and participate in class.

-sextile Neptune: I can express my emotions through poetry and music. Neptune makes me a little more empathetic.

4. Libra MC: Throughout school, I’ve always been known for having nice outfits. My biggest aspirations involve artistic things: screenwriting & music.

5. Sun in Leo 29°/8H: Theres a lot of enjoyment in Astrology—which is also rules by the 8H—for me. In school, I had a list of everybody’s birthdays for some reason. I’m heavily interested in the subconscious mind and how it controls you—your behavior and how it affects the decisions you make. I’ve always been more interested in everything under the surface.

6. Saturn in Leo: I never really felt my Leo energy like that. I’m more reserved tbr. For some reason, I feel guilty and annoying for enjoying myself and simply being creative - even when it’s not bothering anybody.

7. Capricorn Rising: People usually tell me I look older than I am. I feel naturally awkward for some reason. Since the 1st House deals with the relationship we have with ourselves, it took me a while to get comfortable - Saturn rules Capricorn.

8. Chiron in the 1st House rX: Honestly, I never really put that much importance on my height, until other people started commenting on it. And there’s always unneeded comments on my appearance. Since its in Capricorn, I’ve had teeth problems growing up, and now I have braces.

9. Pluto in the 12th House rX: The 12th House is separated from everything and everybody. I’ve always been existential since an early age. There was always a fear of being separated from people. I do like to dig deep into my subconscious mind and figure myself out more; I’ve realized how powerful the subconscious mind was and why I was acting the way I was. Detaching from everything also seems to give me less burdens. Sleep Paralysis issues too.

10. Saturn in the 7H: Suckkkksssssss. Growing up, I was definitely the late-bloomer when it comes to relationships.

11. Uranus in the 2H sextile Ascendant: Definitely felt like an oddball growing up. I’m not the only person that listens to Rock, but I definitely got weird looks and reactions for enjoying it. I do get self-esteeem from being different, even if it alienates me. My appearance and interests surprises people.

12. Mars/Aries in the 4H: WWE matches in my household/family.

[aingeal98]

Y'know this is a really broad question and (since I know you're more of a Cass/stephcass kinda person) potentially out of your wheelhouse but I enjoy your perspective on lots of Steph related matters, so indulge me if you will: any thoughts on the argument that timsteph is/isn't 'unhealthy' and/or the characters are unfair to each other/bad partners?

Lots of qualifying clauses in that question, I know, but it's interesting to me because I usually see a lot of staunch arguments that either timsteph is completely/irreparably unhealthy (usually with one half as more of a 'perpetrator' in the eyes of fans) OR that timsteph is exclusively a great romance and that their various ups and downs are either inconsequential or the result of OOC writing.

I think the question is mostly interesting to me bc I see both sides of the argument and to me it raises questions about when things cross the line from "a fictional relationship we're meant to root for that simply contains elements of heightened drama which would be considered unhealthy IRL due to it's fictional nature which we're meant to excuse/suspend disbelief for" to "a fictional reflection of unhealthy dynamics".

This is a lot of yap on my part so again, no hard feelings if you decide to pass up tackling it.

Really good question that I had to think hard about. Ultimately the answer depends on if you mean they're unhealthy in universe vs out of universe, Watsonian vs Doyalist. I'm going to stick to pre N52 only as I think from N52 onwards they were... Fine? But kind of bland. The writers had erased all of Steph's backstory anyway so they had none of their history and were just kind of... Normal dating. But pre N52 in the 90s and 00s is where the unhealthiness is at its peak so that's where most of the discourse comes from.

So in universe I think both of them make mistakes and have certain attitudes and behaviours that could be deal breakers for some people, ie Tim's cheating and how he follows Bruce's footsteps dismissing Steph, and how Steph will sometimes overstep some boundaries because Dixon wanted to write the spunky bad girl pursuing the sensible chaste guy. But ultimately in universe there's nothing so bad that I'd write their entire relationship off as unhealthy, at least not before War Games. They had good moments and bad, and whether you think the good outweighed the bad or vice versa really comes down to what you personally can forgive and understand in a relationship and what you enjoy seeing in fictional romances. So Tim's cheating was an immediate red line for me even though I never thought him evil for it, just kind of dumb. And I'd understand if people still shipped them and thought them sweet despite that. So like, they have their unhealthy moments but I'd be wary of going to either extreme aka "Toxic and evil" or "perfect soulmates who's mistakes were ooc"

This is their pre war games versions I'm referring to. After War Games when Steph came back the writer for Robin basically used her as a tool to give Tim angst and show how cool he was. It's the worst Steph's ever been to Tim but it was also so poorly written and clearly biased thay even from an in universe perspective I can't take it seriously. Everything pre war games I wouldn't count as ooc but this... Yeah this deserves the extreme. It's not even "She wouldn't do that." it's more "Why are you not showing us why she's doing this. How am I meant to accept this when her motivations and characterization is so poorly written." It's like a lesser version of when writers lazily butcher Talia to benefit Bruce or Damian. There's no explanation or motivation for Steph's actions that make any sense, so I have zero interest in that version of Steph because she's even more of a prop for Tim than she was during war games, which was an incredibly disappointing way to bring her back and one of the reasons I'm very glad she got her own batgirl run.

Which brings me to out of universe. Because while in universe I'd hesitate to slap the unhealthy label on them the way I would on say, versions of Bruce that hit his kids (I think there is a big difference between the unhealthiness of timsteph and the writing of Batman as an abusive father, and I think Bruce's dynamic with his kids crossed the line from dramatic to unacceptable and toxic a lot more frequently and more extremely than timsteph did) out of universe looking at them from a perspective of how it benefits their characters I would say it's super unhealthy for Steph. Which is ironic because her romance with Tim and her featuring in his comics is how she became a constant character, but the writing is always trying to remind us that Tim is better than Steph, more heroic than Steph, more suitable for this life than Steph. Only the writing is so bad that, like with a lot of Tim's writing, the proof comes down to "Because Batman said so idk."

And that culminates in the failure that is War Games. Steph becoming Robin is all about getting Tim back. Both in universe as Bruce's motivation and in reality as the writers plan. While Steph is being tortured horribly Tim is helping is classmates as a civilian, and the writing hammers us over the head about how capable and competent and perfect Tim is to the point that I felt nauseous reading it because it felt like such a disgusting way to uplift him. And then when Steph comes back, she's not allowed have any actual emotions or feelings about what happened to her. The writers just throw her into a dumb Tim and Bruce plot without any care about how she would actually think and feel, and the same happens in Red Robin. It's all Tim Tim Tim and only her Batgirl series and her reaction to Bruce being alive actually allow her to be shown as a person and not just a prop to uplift Tim.

So basically in universe they're not my cup of tea but they're not like, abusive or anything. They're just shitty to each other sometimes, but they love each other and have their good moments pre war games. From a Doylist perspective though? I've yet to see timsteph written in a way that actually uplifts Steph's character, as even when she's written by someone who likes her and wants to keep her around such as Dixon there's just so much misogyny in how their dynamic is written. So I'm hoping they never get back together and just stay exes with a past so painful and complicated they don't want to talk about it with anyone, but especially not each other.

Thanks for the ask! I hope this made sense lmao I rambled a whole lot

[raelle-writing]

I’ve been seeing so many complaints about Jin not having enough backstory and that he’s too flat, and I’m curious to know your thoughts. I personally think he’s very developed and believe that a character should be able to stand by their current actions without needing flashbacks to explain them.

We know that he is a kind and gentle person who held (and still holds) idealistic notions, and that he effed up real bad with taking the video, and has been feeling guilty and haunted ever since. We know that he develops feelings deeply for people but always makes sure that they reciprocate. We know that he doesn’t like uncertainty when emotions are involved and wants clear communication and has a bit of a jealous streak. We know that when placed in physically dangerous situations, he will jump in immediately to defend and help people. We know that he loves photography and honestly a lot can be explained by his having an artistic soul.

I guess a recent example I’ve seen of a character that’s very developed with absolutely no flashback backstory is Tong’s character Hong from ManSuang. Obviously very different context and character but I loved how much we knew about his essence as a character and person without needing scenes about his childhood and how he grew up.

Anyway sorry for the length, and thank you for your wonderful DFF thoughts and analyses!

Thank you for sending this ask 💕 I've been thinking a lot about this too, honestly. I have some mixed, complex thoughts lol so let me try and explain them.

Firstly, I agree with you that we get a lot of Jin throughout his actions. I fully disagree with people who say that Jin is flat, or that he doesn't have impact on the narrative, or that he's a side character. Jin's always been a very central main piece of the plot. He's the everyman, reacting to the bullying the way most average people would. Acting selfishly and selflessly by turns. He's the catalyst that drove them into the woods. He's the only person who feels guilt and carries the weight of the past (among the bullies). He tries to be a good person, and fucks up bad by turns.

And as you said, we get tons of personality from Jin throughout his actions. He's naive and idealistic. He associates sex and feelings strongly. He falls hard and fast. He lives in a large house but clearly has no one checking on him when he comes home late or brings a boy over to stay the night. He shows signs of emotional neglect and unhealthy attachments. He has fits of anger which lead him to do bad things he feels awful about for years afterwards.

He calls himself a coward but when faced with a weapon he jumps in front of it to try and protect his friends.

There are a lot of shadows to his character that paint a full picture, to me. I don't find his character to be flat at all, in fact Jin is still one of my favorite characters because of all of this.

However, I do understand why people are disappointed. Because while we do see large pieces of Jin's character, when you compare him to characters like Non and Tee, where we see their home lives and motivations in detail, Jin definitely looks flat in comparison. I was also hoping that we'd get insight into Jin's home life and learn why he is the way he is, like we did with some of the others. And we didn't (and won't) get that. And that's definitely disappointing.

Especially since today, in a Space on Twitter, Sammon said she regrets not writing Jin in more detail and she views that as a failing. I think that's one reason people are being so negative about Jin's character right now.

BUT, I personally think people are entirely overblowing it all. Jin is a very interesting, complex, gray, sympathetic character in so many ways, even if we don't get that extra layer of depth. Especially given that one of the reasons we have less of Jin is because he does less terrible shit within the narrative as some of the others, I'm a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️ about it all.

Anyway! Thanks again for the ask, it was a good excuse for me to actually formulate my thoughts!

[archandshri]

9th feb '24 - [arch] characters, interactions and emotion - making a mini webcomic

Gahhhh Shri this has been an absolutely crazy couple of weeks!!!! Hope you are doing well :)) First of all, WOW! You have a lot of goals, and I’m sure you’ll get them done! I’ve worked a lot on my graphic design during the process of making Winter Wellbeing. If you wanna see a blog post dedicated just to that, I can do so! It would be cool to compare notes on the approaches we take for graphic layouts. If you wanna share your knowledge of camera skills when you build that up that would be awesome 😭😭

It’s been a tough few weeks, art wise. I have been reflecting on my process, motivations to create, the ego and all the baggage that’s lumped into the creative process for me. It turns out there’s a lot. I took some space from my illustration practise (literally for a weekend!) and began to realise how dysfunctional it is. I’ve been writing a lot about that so there may be a larger piece of writing coming about that at some point (no promises!!)

But for now, let's talk about little successes!

I’ve been playing with some characters for a while but I’d hit a bit of a block with the plot. I realised the expectation of having a finished project of high quality soon is unrealistic, and an unhealthy expectation to put on myself. I rarely give myself time to play with concepts for a long time and let the characters, plot and interactions evolve naturally. Maybe this in part came from sticking to the short university module turnaround. I noticed that that short turnaround was causing a lot of block, so I have decided to bench it as a comic for now and focus on using it as a playground - falling in love with the characters, creating stories and drawing them for fun. Maybe years down the line I’ll make them into a comic - we shall see! 

I *tried* to do hourly comics day this year and it didn’t quite work for me. I think I made 3 comics? And then got distracted with a bigger project that ended up taking a week or so to complete. Let’s have a look at it, shall we?

[you can find the full version here]

First of all, it’s based on an unfinished fanfiction I started a couple of months ago, which was mostly bad, but there was one nice scene that I liked and wanted to expand on. I started by having a look at the script I wrote and thumbnailing on the iPad. I’m away from home at the mo and usually would prefer to do most of my artwork traditionally, but because I don’t have access to a scanner, the whole process was digital this time. A lot of the pages got scrapped because the dialogue wasn’t necessary, and I’m not drawing pages that aren’t necessary.

some more development screenshots

I thought a lot about posing during the process, acting the scenes out in my mind and sometimes physically, really understanding the emotions of the characters, why they’re saying what they’re saying, their tone and how to convey that though their body language and expression (i find grian really annoying normally [affectionate] but I want this grian to step on me).

Pearl was hard with this because she’s quite erratic and unpredictable in this series, so I wanted her to switch from raw explodey anger to playful jabs at Grian. I’m hoping this comes across as somewhat insane, rather than tonally off and inconsistent. I did super enjoy drawing her and her explosive nature though, especially in comparison to Grian’s coldness.

I played with levels and monotone colour too - I’m not working with multiple colours much at the moment so I’m able to focus on things like values composition, characters and backgrounds. My skills limit the kind of stories I can tell currently, so I’m working to improve those foundations. Maybe when I’m back in the riso studio I can play with colours a little more.

Colours - despite the simple pallete it gets a bit nerdy here.I stuck to specific flat percentages for most of it - Pearl’s hair and Grians jumper are 60%, Grian’s hair and Pearl’s cloak are 20%. Then I added a 14% layer for shadows, using a ahrd blend eraser tool for highlights, making the images quite dark. I fill a layer with texture from Forystr’s riso brush for procreate, and turn it into a 40% opacity colour dodge layer. This gives it some much needed texture and makes the lighting feel low and nighttimecore. It also pushes the values to look really nice - I tend to be too scared to push them by myself.

I tried a few different colour layers to get a *vibe* but settled on a low percentage riso blue in a colour layer. All layers besides the riso blue are in a riso black, colour picked from a riso colour pallete. I learnt these tools - using percentages to get good values - from working with risograph. I really recommend having a look at these techniques and doing some monotone work. It's really improved by character designs, page layouts and compositions.

That's all from me today, though I have had MANY other thoughts over the past two weeks about creating, but perhaps we'll dive into them another time. If you (or anyone else) has any questions, hit me up with a reblog or an ask and I will get right to it. Lovely to hear from you! Hope your art is going great too :)) Arch :)

[vraisetzen]

I just read ‘Notte Stellata’ and I honestly think it’s one of the best fan fictions that I’ve ever read. It’s so brilliantly written.

I think you have a real gift when it comes to writing. You’re fantastic at plotting — you know how to pace your stories and just when to permeate them with the most thought-provoking of imagery. Your imagery, crucially, is not overwrought, but rather very well timed.

The way you characterised Kokushibo is absolutely brilliant. Your writing retains the essence of his character while building upon it, endowing him with even more depth and making him even more interesting. You made me fall in love with his character and now I will definitely look at him in a new light. He’s an extremely compelling deuteragonist.

I have to mention that I really think you’ve managed to capture the spirit of ‘Demon Slayer’ in your work. This story believably and seamlessly slots into the broader framework of ‘Demon Slayer’. Not only did you nail down Kokushibo, but also all of the other characters who made their appearance in ‘Notte Stellata’, most prominently Tengen and his wives, Kagaya, Shinobu and Douma.

I think the way in which you have crafted the dynamic between Kokushibo and his dearest is incredibly compelling. It’s deeply romantic and I wholeheartedly adore it.

I really enjoyed reading this story and thinking about it. Thank you for sharing it with us.

(I am not sure if you are planning on sharing more stories, but if you do, I’d be delighted to read more. I by no means want to pressure you — rather, I want to express how much I admire the way in which you crafted this story and how I would absolutely love to read more stories written by you.)

Gosh, thank you so much for your lovely words, and for reaching out to me here on Tumblr!

I am so chuffed that you enjoyed Notte Stellata – I had the most wonderful time planning and writing it, and I'm so happy to hear that you found the imagery and my interpretation of Kokushibo compelling! He is my favourite character from KnY, and I feel that there is so much about him that we never truly learn outside of what we know. In his past life, he was a husband and a father, and I wanted to tease out that part of him and recontextualise it as a demon who had spent centuries harbouring so much darkness in his heart.

Likewise, I'm also very glad to know that you enjoyed the smaller vignettes with Tengen, his wives, Shinobu, Ubuyashiki, and Douma! It was important to me that the Reader had someone on whom she can rely, and Uzui seemed the most natural as someone who was quite extroverted but also very personable; and Shinobu as another female Hashira, albeit with a different motivation and morality.

Speaking of the Reader, I'm very pleased that her romance with Kokushibo resonated with you! To be frank, there were parts where I wondered if their relationship was a little unhealthy, but I would like to think I rooted very hard for them to figure out their own insecurities and darkness, and to overcome them together. The struggle, and the sweetness at the end of it, is what makes their relationship so rewarding, in my opinion!

And I definitely would be open to writing more in future! I actually have another KnY fic in the works, and I shan't reveal any more than what I can promise, haha. It wouldn't be as smutty as Notte Stellata, for sure and it will be a Muzan-centric one – frankly, I'm not sure if the story will gain much traction because of that, it is a story I have wanted to tell for a long time. Kokushibo will, however, occupy a very central place in my KnY heart, and from time to time I will write drabbles for him on Tumblr!

Once again, thank you so much for taking the time to read my work, and for reaching out with this very thoughtful review!

xoxo, V ♥️

[rinadragomir]

Lucie Herondale's lawyer's response or why she's 1) not a bad parabatai 2) not too immature 3) not a "nepotism baby" who gets away with everything🔍 let's analyse

Defender mode activated since Lucie's haters' powers are growing🤺I also noticed you like my analysing posts, so let's get into it! Btw you can check my Matthew/Daisy post, I'm very proud of it☺️💅🏻If you don't wanna change your opinion - there's nothing I can do, it's your choice. But if you just interpreted some things/ character's motivation in a wrong way or you don't understand why this character is the way she is - I'll help you understand!😌✨

So! Today we'll defend my daughter and discuss some statements, that are quite popular here and on Twitter, which include her!🕵️

1) "I can't see her and Daisy being great parabatai, they don't even care about each other that much. And it seems like Lucie needs her more than Daisy needs Lucie."

Before I start my research I must admit that they didn't spend too much time together so it'd make sense if they become parabatai a bit later, so they have time to reveal all their secrets and discuss all they went through. And I believe that what's going to happen since CC announced the short story of their parabatai ceremony and it seems like it'll happen a bit after the end of CHOT😌

Don't you dare! Not after:

"Cordelia cares less than—" HELLO? Cordelia's absolutely terrified to lose her. Terrified. Same with Lulu. Btw @lekawi is the first Daisy/Lucie fan and half of these arguments are hers!!!! Giving credits 💅🏻🙇🏼‍♀️

Lucie's always there for Daisy, every time Daisy needs her, she's there. Except those times when she keeps a secret that she's hurt. But this trilogy is all about how secrets ruin your life😒

They keep secrets from each other and that's what makes it hard for them to become closer. Secrets are the biggest evil of these books but they still have time to fight them! These two loved each other almost their whole lives.

And about Lucie's Beautiful Cordelia which some people consider "unhealthy obsession"🤨 If you read the same books as I, you know that Lucie's writing that book not because "she's too obsessed", but because Cordelia's biggest fear is being alone. She didn't have any friends and even trained alone most of the time. This book gave Daisy that feeling like you're sitting next to your friend and listening to all these funny stories.

2) "She's just so naive and acts so immature, it's annoying. She's like a loud baby"

She's like the first (maybe the 2) person who openly talks with Matthew about his alcoholism, while all his friends prefer to ignore it, which is much easier. She did it kinda dirty, she wasn't too careful with her words, but she said the truth.

She didn't try to lie or hide her true feelings after Jesse found her book. She said what she really felt that moment. Lucie🤝Thomas being those 2 people who actually know how healthy relationship works like

She was ready to kill Jesse when she found out he's being controlled by Belial. She was wise and strong enough to understand that people's lives are more important than her young love.

She was the first person who saw that Matthew actually likes Cordelia👀

She's actually the only person who acknowledged the fact that her parents and friends don't see that Matthew is far from being okay because they don't actually wanna see it.

The only "immature" thing about her is that she doesn't know what goes after the kisses. But if that's your only criteria.... What's actually wrong with you? And what do you have against loud people?😑

3) "She lies to everyone, she does necromancy and then screams "Papa😣!" and her parents are already on their way and it seems like she doesn't know what consequences are. Everyone's suffering and she's just chilling"

I—

"Poor Alastair, he had such a shitty father, he deserves to have the best dad in the world, why does he have to go through all this shit all by himself?😓"

----------------------------------

"That dumb bitch Lucie's so annoying, like why her father is always there for her, trying to help her with everything, to give her the opportunity to live her best life, like???? She's so spoiled and her father just supports her? Ugh that's weird, why would he want her to be happy that's kinda stupid 🫤"

And the funniest thing is that it's said by the same people. I— I don't know how to explain it but: if your parents support you, help you with your problems and try to make your life as easy and happy as possible.... it's actually a good thing!👍

And idk where they found this "if the character doesn't suffer enough - it's not an interesting character" rule. But apparently they did. Listen, characters don't have to suffer but they have to go through struggles. Some characters, especially the main ones, usually suffer more. Some less. The main thing is not "who suffers more" it's not a competition, the main thing is the plot, the adventure, the growth of these characters.

Lucie knows, and she says about it at least twice in the second book☝🏻, that necromancy has a price. She knows about the consequences and she knows that raising Jesse has nothing to do with dark magic. That's why she did what she did. But unfortunately, we know that she'll have to pay the price anyway🙂. She'll face the consequences no matter what, there's still the whole book for her to suffer.

⚠️Light spoilers from the first 4 chapters of Chot, pls skip it if you don't wanna know anything ⚠️

She's even warning Malcolm about the price of necromancy in the chapter 2 or 3. It's not like she's considering it a game or a funny adventure. When Magnus/Will/James arrive and she wants to return to London with Jesse and explain everything to Clave - it's not because she's stupid but because as Magnus said "her heart is in the right place". She's mature enough to consider all the facts and try to be open-minded about things she doesn't clearly understand. But lots of people in Clave.... they're dumb and anything that is more complicated than 2+4 is a danger for them.

⚠️Spoilers ended ⚠️

In conclusion: Lucie's a brave strong girl who lives in a loving healthy family. She knows which things are right and which are wrong. She's not afraid to say what's really on her mind even tho sometimes she says before she thinks. She has a strong sense of justice and a kind soul🌼 (Remember when Malcolm says Grace uses her helplessness so men help her with anything she wants, and Lucie thought that men built such a world where women often have no choice but to ask men for help). She's always there for her friends and is really trying to be "that positive person"🥹She's not really experienced and sometimes she's not sure how to act in certain situations, but she's still so young and has lots of time to learn.

#JUSTICE_FOR_LUCIE #HOME_GIRLS_ARE_NOT_BORING 😡

[sasukemexican]

Ok this is random again but I need to confess. I never liked sasuke and his character but that is because I was overall frustrated with kishimoto's writing of his own characters, however my opinion of a character tends to sway dramatically if i hear reasons from a huge fan of said character so i thought to ask you: why is he your favorite? what do you like about him? is there any particular sentiment that made your url a reality ( this isnt meant to be rude but im genuinely curious !!!)

YESSS HIHIHI not liking sasuke largely because of kishis pisspoor writing is very valid. when i get my hands on that mf it'll be over for him!! so i don't blame you for that at all lol

with that being said i refuse to acknowledge Boruto sasuke because thats just not the same person. and i dont mean character development or anything i mean that is straight up a different person! so i wont even get into that lol anyway

sasuke has always been my favorite to some extent- i have an older brother who would make me watch Naruto with him and while i wasn't interested in the show i thought sasuke was sooo cute! ive always loved the emo ones lmao

but then i became a fan of the show and actually paid attention to his character and i think its safe to say that hes a big source of catharsis for me? if that makes sense? mainly because of his relationship with itachi. again i have an older brother and the parallels between us are quite strong (he didn't kill anyone or anything like that 😭) just the way sasuke feels about him and how he was The main source of anger and love and how these emotions easily blur together..betrayal..heartbreak (not romantically ofc) ugh.. sasuke lets me explore these hard to deal with emotions so for that he will always be special to me <- guy who needs therapy

also the extreme ways sasuke deals with these hard feelings himself are something i admire no matter how unhealthy and self destructive they are. sasuke is not afraid to pour his all into something. his one track mind is very frustrating but at the same time something i just cant help but admire! he is an extremely dedicated and motivated character and it makes me insane. i also love how hard he tries to appear stoic and put together but little cracks show just how emotional he is. you cant fool me gay boy i see you for the sensitive lil wuss that you are!!!

essentially sasuke is a big 'he just like me fr' character for me which is embarrassing but its too late for shame now!

this probably won't do anything to change your mind lol that is ok 😌

oh! also sasuke is mexican because i am and i like giving my favorite characters my ethnicity teehee. but also the set up of his clan is veryy much like a small mexican village if that makes sense it reminds me of the one im from :3 and his intense feelings are also very latino of him lol his shouting..sir there is no need to shout! but there he goes shouting away

[valley-of-headcanons]

welcome to the valley of headcanons!

this is a blog dedicated to stardew valley headcanons and one-shots! everything you'll need is right here.

currently listening to ... the manuscript by taylor swift

request guidelines ... 🪩

-> if you send in a request while my inbox is closed, i'm just gonna delete it. it's kinda in my bio and in this post, so it's kinda obvious you may not have read everything ... it's not a huge deal but i've noticed it a lot recently. i love the support! it just gets a little overwhelming when i have 14 asks in my inbox 💀 sorry if this sounds rude! i just felt like it needed to be said, we all make mistakes sometimes <3

-> at the moment, i am only taking requests for bachelors and bachelorettes! those are the only characters i truly know in depth! i may open it up for others, but for now, there we go :)

-> i would much rather write for one or a few characters at a time! i do like the bachelor/bachelorette requests, but i feel like i'm allowed to write a lot more! i don't mind either, but that's what i prefer <3

• characters that i would love to write for: SAM AND SEBASTIAN ‼️ also alex and haley :)

• characters im not as enthusiastic about writing: shane and emily :/

• genres i write: fluff, angst, slice-of-life sort of stuff! or just general headcanons.

• genres i'm not comfortable with writing: fantasy, the supernatural, anything that's not realistic :( i know stardew has a lot of supernatural elements, but i don't believe i would write them well! sorry :(

• HARD NO'S: smut/lemon/lime, yandere, or anything like that! please refrain from asking, PLEASE!

• what i write: one shots and headcanons! please be specific with what you would like, or else i will choose!

of course, i can reject any request that i feel uncomfortable with, so you have been warned! please read carefully before requesting, thank you! <3

important posts ... 🌌

headcanon masterlist

oneshot masterlist

inbox ... ☄️

• taking care of sick sebastian oneshot

• [possibly krobus] adjusting to domestic life headcanons

• harvey with farmer who has an unhealthy diet

inbox: open! [5/?]

• harvey with ftm farmer who's on testosterone headcanons

• elliott and sebastian with pregnant! reader

info about me ... 🩵

my name is anna, and ive started to develop a bit of a hyperfixation when it comes to stardew valley! when a new hyperfixation begins, you know what happens lol. i am pretty busy, i have a lot of stuff on my plate, so i will try to do requests quickly, but there is no guarantee! plus, motivation is sometimes few and far between.

i started playing the game in december 2022, and ive fallen in love with it ever since! currently i don't have a favorite, it's probably either sam, sebastian, or harvey :)

avatar was made using this website and ibis paint x!

[ciaossu-imagines]

akutagawa ryunosuke + 💖 still from the misc ask meme

Oh, this was a really good one! I had fun writing this, even if it is rather short, and I instantly knew the answer I wanted to give and all the words just came pouring out right. That’s a feeling that, as any writer can tell you, is just both miraculous and one of the world’s best feelings. Thanks so much for sending in the ask and letting me have that feeling! I appreciate you so much 😊

How and how often do they try to impress their partner(s)? How and how often do their partner(s) impress them?

A large part of Akutagawa is that he really is someone who is very motivated by, and anxious for, outside approval. We see it all throughout the canon storyline, especially in regards to Dazai but also with others. He thrives off of outside approval, he’s so hungry for it that it’s as if he’s a starving beast – he becomes ambitious, becomes primally driven to obtain more and more of that approval.

I really do think that that need for someone else’s approval definitely extends to any partner Akutagawa takes. I think it’s a large part of why, I feel, despite the obvious love Higuchi holds for him and his obvious respect and regard for her, there’s just no real chemistry and click to them. She already holds too much admiration for him right from the get-go and Akutagawa…he needs to have someone who supports him, yes, but he also kind of needs a partner who keeps him hungry for that admiration from them. He needs someone who makes him feel driven to seek more and more of their approval and their favour, because there is such a large part of him that feels that that is necessary to a relationship. He’s had such a warped view of what qualifies as ‘stable’ or ‘devoted’ relationships due to meeting Dazai and due to his life within that Mafia that he really does hold the belief that he needs to always be working at gaining someone’s approval, needs to always be upping their expectations of him, needs to constantly be gaining their admiration and needs to stay desperately hungry and driven to get even so much as a compliment every now and then. It is by no means a healthy view, but Akutagawa is honestly not a very healthy individual, either in body or in mind, and he really doesn’t even know where to begin fixing that, if he ever got it in mind to, though his mind is definitely not in the place of ‘let’s fix all my trama and unhealthy, codependent bonding’.

On top of everything I’ve already mentioned, I really do believe that Akutagawa is just someone who really would enjoy impressing his partner. He adores making them smile or making them happy. He’s also a terribly jealous man, and he feels like, by working so hard to impress them continually, he’ll always keep their eyes on him and so they can never be tempted by another person.

We also see, canonically, that when Akutagawa does have a high opinion of someone, if Akutagawa genuinely likes and cares about a person, he’s pretty quick to put them up on a kind of pedestal (ie: Dazai). Obviously, if Akutagawa is in a relationship with someone, it’s because they’ve proven that they’re not only worthy of his respect, but that they’re someone so amazing that he just couldn’t deny his feelings towards them any longer. He will have the bad tendency of putting his partner up on a pedestal. He will defend them to the death – nothing they do is wrong. They’re always impressing him. Everything they do is the right thing. He constantly finds himself admiring them, and while that’s a lovely thing, and good in small doses, it can put a lot of pressure on his partner to live up to this dream version he has going of them.

[tokidokifish]

garashir for ship asks!!!

HELL YEAH HERE WE GO TIME FOR SOME ~CONFESSIONS~

What made you ship it?

i don't know. listen - you may think i'm being oblique. but the fact is i heard about garashir LONG before i ever got into ds9, we're talking YEARS back; i can't even remember who i knew that shipped it, because it was just that long ago. i even tried reading a fanfic, though i can't remember what it was or even where it was, because this might have predated ao3. like even before i got into the show, something about that pairing Appealed To Me. and then, of course, i DID watch the show and Whoo Boy. i mean have you SEEN them interact. i think, honestly, what sealed the deal for me - what got be truly invested - was - well, for one thing, i tend to automatically rebel against relationships that the canon WANTS to happen; even if it's a relationship i end up liking it takes me a while to come around to it bc i'm so burned out on the vibe of "he was a guy, she was a girl, can i make it any more obvious?" that so many het romances get slapped with. i'm always looking for the characters that have the most chemistry (in my opinion) and goddamn call those bitches a science department because they have maybe the most chemistry of any two characters in that show. they challenge each other in the best way! and they just LIKE each other. what a novelty! i've got my fondness for the whole slap-slap-kiss trope, but god do shows and movies rely on it way too much these days, gag. so to have these two characters which, yeah, snip at each other sometimes, but very genuinely enjoy each other's company?? sublime. love it.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

well, i think i got into it a bit with the "they just like each other", but i think i especially like that garak liked julian right from the start. like oh, yeah, garak obviously had ulterior motives for approaching julian at first, but after that he just - continued to seek out his company! i've stated it a lot in my fics but just the fact that garak alone never seemed to find julian irritating when like everyone else on the station did, even if they came around to it - like i'm not one of those people that's like "the character you see yourself most in + the character you're most attracted to is your favorite pairing" bc i think it's bullshit, but as someone who is Very Annoying and is used to driving people away, oh god the idea of being just simply ACCEPTED by someone is like. a fuckin. drug. it's honestly probably the biggest reason i have trouble shipping julian with anyone else, even though i do enjoy his relationship with miles and i especially like writing him and kira becoming close in the later seasons. and, again, the fact that garak and julian do challenge each other, and they reflect one another in such interesting ways - and, of course, they are sooooooo normal about one another even in the context of a show that WASN'T writing them as romantically involved. 's good. 's a good ship.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

certainly it's not unpopular amongst the garashir girlies - but obviously i consider the idea that their relationship is at all "unhealthy" complete bullshit. like i made a whole post about it. genuinely i cannot even understand the mindset - other than, of course, because garak is a "bad man" (also something i disagree with, but whatever) he cannot have healthy relationships. he's "evil", so all of his relationships must be toxic. just lol. lmao, even. i think my most unpopular opinion is that i find it VERY hard to picture them hooking up early in the series and then having a relationship on the side. like it's not a deal-breaker in terms of fics, but just not my cup of tea, yanno? i think there's attraction and affection from the get, but i think PEAK garashir happens after ips/bil, and especially after dbip, when i feel like they'd've truly come to understand one another (as much as they need to, obviously; i think a big part of the garashir relationship is the idea that garak will always have secrets and julian is fine with that (is that why people think it's toxic?)). oh also i think people who shrink the age difference are cowards. they're both grown-ass adults! let them have their 20+ age gap! it's a charm point!

[lumau]

(fandom update and appreciation)

Hello, I'm back!

These past months daily life has taken over and lead me into a fandom hiatus. After the end of twitter as we knew it I kinda lost connection and tbh it has been refreshing. While I've always kept to my own corner and away from big drama, just being in fandom on social media these days has pulled me down and I probably burned myself out over it (again).

During my break I rediscovered that I can actually enjoy things casually (I'm still playing Pokémon and started watching Winter Begonia), and that I can both consume and create things just for myself to enjoy without the constant internal pressure of seeking engagement dopamine. 

But now I'm at a point where I'm starting to miss all the good fandom stuff (meaning YOU guys out there!). I miss seeing your Xie'er hcs, your Sleuth memes and the JGY protection squad, and I'm glad that fandom always perseveres and I can simply come back after a break and y'all are still doing what you're doing. ❤️

So, what's new? Well, after intentionally ignoring it for the past years, I'm getting sucked into TGCF right now. I watched the 2nd donghua season as it aired and wanted to know more, so I finally continued reading it. I'm also doing that very slowly and am currently in the middle of the 3rd book. 

I've been reading some fic, watching videos and I know myself enough by now to see the pattern of falling into a new thing. It's both enticing and scary to once more get into something with a big following. I really love the experience of being in small, committed fandoms, but there's also something really cool about the sense that there's an infinite amount of fan content out there waiting for you. Also, the specific danger of being tempted by MERCH I can buy in an actual STORE where I live!?! Haven't had that in over 20 years. (Yes, MDZS has merch here, too, but none that I care about 😅).

For now I'm still trying to be casual about it and avoid spoilers (I know the vague plot lines, that shit will only keep going downhill, and who's behind BWX - I guess that's hard not to learn by fandom osmosis- but I'm looking the other way whenever any details come up.) 

Maybe I'll start posting some reactions as I keep going through the novels, but I don't want to feel like I'm reading it for content. Probably I'll feel the urge to write fic in the future, and my prediction is that I'll find myself in the Junlian corner (Unhealthy, one-sided obsession with a power imbalance? When have I ever resisted that!).

I've also been doing some casual doodling, which has been fun. Here's a tiny little XL for anyone who read through all of this:

Oh, and on the note of doing things very slowly - Yes, I still have plans to finish the Jia Kui/Wang Zhi/Ding Rong fic I started writing... ehm, a year ago? 🙃 I'm just beginning to feel motivated again, and it's almost done, so there's hope. 我还在!

All of that to say - old and future fandom friends, I appreciate you! Do come talk to me, here or on discord, about TGCF or Winter Begonia or any of my previous fandoms. I'm looking forward to seeing what all of y'all have been up to!

[perrydowning]

Is there a type of fanfic you love to read but hate to write or vice versa?

I'm only answering this because I'm pretty messy right now and hope no one will come at me too hard.

Read never write? Darth Daddy Dom Kylo (maybe not so much the daddy) prawn. See, I just cannot see Kylo Ben as a Dom. Like, I was worried I'd written him way too soft in my TFA era fics, then Rian Johnson woobified him beyond even my sense of the character.

I mean, that cruel power aspect is sexy as hell ... at first. But if boy ain't on his knees by act II I'm out.

Unless it's just hardcore smut. Sure, it's unhealthy to be turned on by men acting exactly as we have socialized them to act, but our bits really can't with the discourse. Women's desire deserves a place and fandom wank can take all the seats while mainstream *clears throat* adult film still caters almost exclusively to white dudes.

As to the other, if I wanna read it, I write it. Some of my fics are absolutely written out of spite after reading something that just made me so angry!

Passion for something is the very best motivator, but spite is a close second.

:D