#It was a two hour drive to the theater so we made a whole day of it

[m1ssunderstanding]

nothing intelligent or helpful to say about it really but we had SUCH a good time at One Hand Clapping. Everyone should go if they've got the chance.

[hilarychuff]

“So, um, how did you two meet?” Chrissy asks as they hit the highway. Robin looks over at Steve, and she can tell how smug he is about all of this from his side profile alone. He’s the most annoying boy in the world, a total dingus, but God, she loves him. She wouldn’t be in the backseat of a car with Chrissy Cunningham without him. If someone had tried to convince the Robin of one year ago that she’d be sitting with the reigning queen of Hawkins High in its fallen king’s BMW, she’d have told them to eat glass, but somehow he’s made it all happen. Not that she’ll tell him that. Now that he’s getting dates again, he’s already got a big enough head. He doesn’t need to try to claim all the credit for every girl she talks to, too. Still, he’s her favorite person. And if she’s honest with herself, she’s pretty sure that started way before the fourth of July. “I know you said you’re not dating,” Chrissy continues, looking between them, “but I don’t remember you being friends at school last year.” “Oh, we weren’t,” Robin says cheerfully. “I hated Steve’s guts because he was always eating something messy in Mrs. Click’s class. And I ranked too low in the social hierarchy for him to even know I existed. But then last summer we worked together at Scoops Ahoy at the mall and — well, with the whole Starcourt burning down thing —” “What did Erica call us, Rob?” Steve asks, catching her eye in the rearview mirror. “Trauma-bonded freakazoids?” “Something like that. Anyway, we’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since.” It’s close enough to the truth, at least. Chrissy doesn’t need to be burdened with the fact that their codependency is less related to a fictional fire and more to the reality that they were drugged together, tortured together, that they nearly died together maybe five times over in a 24-hour span. That they faced down Russian spies and the Mind Flayer and won themselves matching concussions when they’d crashed their car into a possessed classmate. “We’re at Family Video now,” Steve adds. “Robin’s a total film nerd — that’s how she knew about Desert Hearts coming out this weekend. How’d you hear about it, Chrissy?” “Oh, um…” Chrissy ducks her head, pulls her shoulders in again like she had in the theater. She picks at the skin around her left thumbnail, and Robin has to stick her fingers under her thigh so she doesn’t reach out and grab Chrissy’s hand. “Jason’s parents were pretty upset about it at dinner the other day,” she eventually admits. “I guess they heard about it from someone at their church who has family in the city.” Robin watches as Chrissy stares hard at her lap, avoiding looking at either Robin or Steve. She lets out a feeble little laugh before continuing. “I’m pretty sure my mom would literally kill me if she knew I was here, but I guess I just wanted to see what all of the fuss was about for myself,” Chrissy says in a small voice. “I mean, it’s just a movie. It’s not going to hurt anyone.” Robin can’t help it. She caves. “You’re right, it’s just a movie,” she repeats, reaching out and grabbing one of Chrissy’s hands to pull it away from the other. “It’s not going to hurt anyone.” Robin laces their fingers together and gives Chrissy’s hand a squeeze. When she tries to let go, Chrissy hangs on, so Robin does, too. “People need to learn to mind their own business,” Steve spits from the front, and Robin can hear the defensive, protective heat in his voice. “Who cares what kind of movie someone likes? Or whatever else they like? That’s no one’s business but yours.” “Well, your secret’s safe with us,” Robin promises. “As far as we know, Chrissy Cunningham was studying at the library all afternoon on Sunday. Or whatever it is you want us to say. We just happened to drive past you on your walk home and offered to take you the rest of the way. And maybe, uh — maybe don’t tell Jason that we saw Desert Hearts either.”

all the best people see you (all the best people know), chapter 1, a stranger things au where two lil lesbians get to go see some lesbian cinema — happy pride!

[pbandjesse]

I think I did a good job just chilling today. I am feeling a little guilty about it now but like. I think at least today was good and restful.

And that was really needed. I wish James had off too because neither of us slept well. They woke up around 230 and we're in a lot of pain and have been up since then. And I was up a lot too worrying about them. I hate how much pain they are in, and it seems to always be worse at night. I wish I could take their pain away.

They took the car to work like I told them too. And I slept in. And when I woke up the sun was to bright. But I worked my way out of bed.

I stripped the bed down and went to get dressed while the bed aired out for a while.

I originally was going to wear actual clothes but just put on my jumpsuit. I was very cozy.

I had egg salad for breakfast. And watched a lot of videos. Very soon I would get back in bed and would catch up on my knitting.

I had a nice time just chilling and watching tiktoks and knitting. Sweetp was there. It was a really nice just hanging out.

I would put the dishes away and then decided to get my laptop and continue working on my honeymoon packing list. I had started compiling that the other day but I wanted to make it a little bit more easy to follow. So I broke it down by bags and then kind of put everything in order with like items. Like having all the tech together and all the wearables and waterproof stuff. And then after I finish organizing that I sent it to James so they could see it. And then I decided I was going to make images to go along with it. Which was probably my most favorite part of the whole project. Though something happened to one of my images and made the computer freak out so I had to move to my phone. But I was having a really good time.

All in all I think that took two hours. But it really satisfied the part of me that loves packing but I just don't have the energy to pull all of that stuff out right now and put all of it back away. Me and James will definitely do an actual run-through but it also really apparently is helpful for James to be able to see it broken down like that. Especially with the pictures. They apparently were having trouble visualizing what all of the stuff looked like and volume of it. And hopefully this will help them pick out their own stuff. Maybe we can lay down together and build an outfit and object list for them too. They probably don't need it but I think I would have a good time doing it.

I spent the rest of the afternoon just resting. Waiting for James to come home.

And when they did get home they brought me french fries. I love them so much. James not the french fries. Well I love the french fries but I love James more.

James was hurting pretty bad but we laid on the couch together until it was time for them to go to the theater for their shift. I felt bad that we had a kick sweetp off the couch because all he wants to do is lay on James's chest. And it just cannot happen right now. So we had to kick him off and he was a little pouty about that for a while.

When James left I decided to take a bath. And wash my hair. And try to deal with how broken out my face feels right now. It's not actually that bad. But I have these red bumps on my face that are driving me crazy. I'm hoping that they clear up soon because they feel gigantic even though I know they're not.

And once my hair was mostly dry I went and worked in the studio for a while. I stood together a few more of my mini 10 strip panels. And I'm 2/3 of the way done. Unless I decide I want to add more. I'm working at the museum tomorrow so maybe I'll bring them with me to work on. It's always nice to have a project while I'm waiting to see if anyone wants a tour. I can be working on them in the garment loft.

Once I finish that I worked on a little silly project I wanted to make for someone for Christmas. Using glue and paint and dimensional magic. To make a small diorama. But I was having a lot of issues with just making a mess. The cap of the dimensional magic came off and spilled all over my pajamas. And then I got blue paint all over my leg. And it's just like what is happening.

But now I'm back in bed. Hanging out with sweet pea. Waiting for James to get done. I hope they can come home soon. I think they're done around 10:30. And they don't have to wait for the theater people to clear out because they have their own key this time. Which is good because last time they made James wait a whole extra hour and it was really mean.

Tomorrow me and James are working together at the museum like I said and then we're going to go have dinner and then just spend some time together. I am looking forward to a nice day. Even though I really wish I didn't have to work. It's all right.

I hope you all sleep well. Take care of each other and try to stay warm. Good night. Until next time.

[z-h-i-e]

The difference now is that retail didn’t used to be shit. I went back to my original retail job twice (and both times returned to a promotion). I worked for a ‘mom and pop’ store, literally. We were family there. I went to my boss’ house for Christmas parties. They gave us yearly bonuses based on how well the sales were for the year. When an employee turned 18, they started a retirement plan for them, not because they had to, because it was the right thing. We had bowling parties. They hired a comedy group to come in and perform at the store after hours for the crew one time. Years later, I was in a newspaper and they cut it out and framed it on construction paper with a glitter border and had a cute former employee message with it and hung it in the lobby.

But more than all that, they treated us like people. When I started and they asked what to call me and I said Zhie, no one questioned it. When I had theater and orchestra, I had off Friday nights and weekends. When I started college, they had a party for me and made sure I could attend all my classes. I got a job on campus and left them, but when that job ended six months later they hired me back within two weeks (basically the day they found out I was looking for a job)—as a manager.

And when things went bad, they took care of us. Disrespectful customers were asked not to return. Really bad weather? We were told to use our judgement and close early to get home safe. And so many nice customers. Sure, there were people who were jerknuggets but they were few and tended not to be return customers.

When I go to stores I can’t say I’m always like, ideal customer — typically due to the self checkout kiosks — but I find myself trying to chat and joke with any clerk who says hi. I had a nice chat today with the clerk at Speedway; he’s always saying fun things, so I try to at least say hi and thank you and have a good one if I don’t have time for more talking (tonight we did talk about my un-vacation). I had a problem at the craft store the other day and the clerk had to return and rering the whole order (neither of us noticed it rang through 23 of something I had 2 of until we finished the transaction). As I was joking with her while the manager came up to verify, she said something like ‘you’re just an angel, being so nice, you know that?’ And the thing is, all of us can be that to clerks, even on a shitty day, because I was indeed having a shitty day that day, and I could have been a jerk about the register mistake, but #1 she’s not the person who made the prior shitiness happen and #2 it takes a lot more energy to be an asshole. Far better to laugh about not needing 23 bottles of glitter paint even if the universe thought I did. (It also rang up 4 candy bars instead of 2, but for that I just grabbed two more candy bars—I mean if the universe wants me to buy two more Hershey bars with almonds, who am I to argue?)

Going back to part the first - said store is gone, run out of business by big boxes and the internet. So my last bit is, to keep good little stores in business to be islands of retail paradise, we have to shop at them when we can. It’s why I pick up comics at an independent store instead of getting them ordered from somewhere online or buying digital, and pick up soup and bread and produce at the fruit market that is LGBTQIA friendly and STILL has plexi up to protect their workers, and order Chinese food from the family business down the street instead of a chain store where it’s technically faster and cheaper and has a drive thru. It’s because I want to see these places stick around, I want to see opportunities for people to work at places that are happy and good.

Pulling on the info from the second bit above — I enjoyed working Black Friday when I worked retail. #1 - we didn’t open until noon so that employees could sleep in from Thanksgiving or go out and shop elsewhere.. #2 - we didn’t have special sales. Whatever the normal sales were was it.. #3 - because of #1 & 2 at a time of no internet shopping, we still got tons of happy customers because they had gone elsewhere, elsewhere was out, and we had what they needed.

I wish we had a mindset collectively and an economy that could support more small businesses.

People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.

[golbrocklovely]

I am proud of SnC for getting a movie deal and I understand why it is only releasing to cinemas in America and only one brand. They have to start somewhere trying to get into the business. But why do they keep saying it will only be cinemas only, will it not be appearing somewhere online afterwards? Either with a streaming service or XPLRclub? If that is the case I understand why my fellow international fans are so upset, that is literally losing/cutting half their fandom. A large number of their fans these days are overseas and it's shitty of them to time and time again ignore/deny/have nothing for those overseas fans. IT's not those fans fault their not in the overly glorified land of America, so why are we/they being constantly punished?

they keep saying that bc it's not gonna get put on youtube by them at all. it's gonna be in theaters exclusively... for now.

personally, i believe they are gonna put it somewhere afterwards. either a streaming platform like amazon prime or at the very least xplrclub. they most likely are waiting/contractually obligated to not say where until after it's release. bc it would be very dumb to spend money on making a movie only to not release it anywhere after a three day limited theater run.

i get that international fans are upset. but the thing is one, snc are not purposefully leaving out IF. the deal with cinemark is from last year. they can't control how many theaters cinemark has. and i'm sure if they could have signed with a bigger theater company they would have. but this isn't a slight against anyone outside the US. it's not like they actively made the decision to exclude fans. they are taking an opportunity that shouldn't be squandered just bc some fans won't be able to see it. and two, there are plenty of US fans that won't be able to see this. hell, i won't be able to see it bc the closest theater to me is a whole ass train ride away or a couple hour drive into a part of the city i'm not used to. and it's the only cinemark close to me. the next one is in a completely different state. so reality is, there are plenty of fans that won't be seeing this.

which is why i truly, wholeheartedly, believe snc are gonna be posting this somewhere to stream. so maybe everyone should chill out before jumping down their throats to say that snc don't care about international fans.

[cryptidsurveys]

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2024.

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? Not my taste in music as a whole. Just one band.

What’s your favorite season of the year? Autumn with winter as a close second.

Do you have pop-tarts in your house right now? No.

Is anyone’s birthday coming up? No, but my mom just had her birthday about a week ago.

Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? No. However, they do want to start compensating me for some of the volunteer work I do at the shelter because I'm there so damn often. I was like, "no, seriously, it's fine; just let me have an occasional cupcake and I'm good, lmao." But today one of the managers came in and gave me what basically amounts to a staff pass to the fundraising event coming up later this week (equivalent of 40$)…I forget whether it's on Thursday or Friday, but I'm going to try to go to that. I had planned on attending last year, but I was sick. :'(

Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? Yeah.

When was the last time you burned any part of your body? I burned my mouth a bit on some coffee/oatmeal the other day.

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? No. But the drain tab (or whatever you call it…?) for our tub is broken, so we just stick it down with a bit of duct tape. The faucet leaks a bit sometimes, and sometimes the duct tape will come loose, and…yeah. I've come home to a couple of close calls. There's a sort of secondary/emergency drain thing, so it probably wouldn't completely overflow, but...!!!

Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? No.

Have you ever called somebody dollface? I don't think so.

If I gave you ten dollars, what would you spend it on? Probably groceries. There's nothing special I really want to buy.

Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? No.

What are you most excited about right now? How much time I've put in at the shelter lately, and how well my body has been holding up. Over the past seven days, I've completed three full days (Thurs, Sun, Mon) and two half days (Fri, Tues). I'd have to add up the hours, but I think I'm at or approaching full-time.

Does / did either of your parents serve in the military? Yeah. My dad was in the Air Force.

Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? I'm like a failed perfectionist. I try so hard to get things right, but I'm always messing up something.

Do you like sour candy? It's alright, but it's not my favorite. I tend to prefer chocolate over sour/sweet candies.

Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? A lot would depend on my partner, our circumstances, etc, but I would love to go on a bit of an extended backpacking trip along the Colorado Trail. If not that, then maybe a trip to Japan.

Do you have Verizon? Yeah.

Are all nighters something you have grown used to? Nooo.

Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I often wear them in the morning, but I don't tend to need them in the afternoon/evening. It also kind of depends on the time of year/angle of the sun.

Do you wear your shoes around the house? No. I have slippers for inside.

Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? Not really. Even when it's hot out, I still prefer hot showers.

What clothes are you most comfortable in? Sweatpants and big baggy hoodies.

Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? I still experience shame, but I'm most comfortable with my dad and therapist. I feel like I can tell them both pretty much anything.

What has changed most about you in the past year? At this point, I feel like it would be easier to list the things that haven't changed. This was a really transformative year for me, in a good way.

Are you good at painting nails? I wish.

Smoothies or slushies? Smoothies.

Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? No.

Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? I do love veggies, especially salads, but I couldn't live off of them.

Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? That's basically what this whole survey blog is about, lmao - the progression of my volunteer experience.

Do you use a full length mirror daily? Yeah, or pretty close to daily, anyway.

Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? No.

Any TV shows you sit down weekly to watch? I don't watch TV.

Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? I don't have a sex life atm.

Even if you don’t like politics, do you still have opinions on the issues? I'm not a very political person, but yeah, sometimes I still have opinions. And sometimes I don't; either because I just don't care, or because I simply don't know enough about a certain topic to form a meaningful opinion…which could also technically fall under "not caring" because I haven't bothered to better inform myself. (shrug)

Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Just my water bottle, but I don't think that really counts.

Do you ever actually make your bed? I wash my bed-stuff weekly, so I make it then, but otherwise not really. I might fix it up a bit if I feel like it, but that's about it.

Do you make an effort to eat healthy? Yeah. Not an obsessive effort, like I still allow for various indulgences, but I try to do a decent job.

How are things between the person you like / love / are with? N/a.

Where did you sleep last night? At home, in my bed.

The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? I have no idea.

What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I'm not sure…maybe rum…?

What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? There isn't anything. I'm not even all that interested in visiting the mall.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah.

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Maybe Fifty Dollar Dynasty. Not because they're my favorite band ever or anything like that (although I do like their music), but I originally found out about them through their podcast (Brothers of the Serpent) and really came to love their silly personalities, so it's…idk, I guess it's more personal?

If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? The money.

Are you taller than your mom? Hmm, am I now…? She used to be taller than I am, but both of my parents have shrunk a bit as they've aged, so…I'll have to pay attention the next time I see her.

Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah.

Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? Mornings.

Think back to June. Were you in a relationship? No.

What’s so special about what you’re wearing? It's comfy.

Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? No.

What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? Volunteering.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because we're not in contact/on good terms anymore…?

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? No.

What do you miss the most about your past? I miss backpacking trips with my dad. It's at the point now where I don't think we'll ever be able to go on another one. :'(

When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea.

Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah.

Plan on getting drunk or high tonight? No. I haven't been drunk/high for a long time.

In the past week, have you cried hysterically? No.

Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody? I guess it's possible.

Are you on birth control? No.

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No.

Last time you were really happy? Now. It's mixed with all kinds of other complicated/contradictory emotions, but I'm probably the happiest I've ever been.

Do you tend to fall for players? No.

Have you ever asked a boy for advice? Yeah.

Are you wrapped in a blanket? No.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? Pretty close.

Have you spoken to your mother today? Father? I haven't spoken to my mom, but I have spoken to my dad.

[aadagio]

.

Barbenheimer actually wound up being a lot of fun on Friday, despite everything. My neck is still in a lot of pain, and I'm still not 100% sure when that will go away or what I'm going to do about it. I am still extremely stressed and anxious, but I'm trying my best. Craig said I deserve to enjoy things, so I tried and I mostly think I succeeded.

I had originally planned to wear something cute to the movies, despite not having any pink, but when I woke up on Friday I just was not feeling it at all. I just wore jeans and a T-shirt, but I added this zombie Barbie jewelry set I've had for about 12 years now. It's a bloody, dismembered Barbie face set into a pendant necklace, as well as two bloodied and severed Barbie arms fashioned into earrings. They're my favorite pair in the world, and I was glad to give them the perfect time to shine.

We started the day by going to Cinemark to see Oppenheimer at 2 pm. I wasn't feeling that great going in, and ever since Tuesday loud noises have really been jarring for me, so I was feeling nervous about what we were about to see. And it was fucking LOUD. The sound, while incredibly edited and engineered, was definitely hard for me to get through, but overall the movie was so incredible that I really did enjoy the experience of seeing a 3-hour epic like that.

After we got out, my sister drove us all over to the mall where we ate at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner, and I had some lackluster nachos (reminder for myself to never order those again). My head and neck were really hurting at that point, and I was starting to feel fatigued, but I took some Tylenol and pushed through because I knew we had Barbie next and I was so looking forward to that.

After dinner, we walked around the mall for awhile, stopping in Claire's and Spencer's to window shop. Our showtime for Barbie was 8:45, so around 8:30, Craig called an Uber back home and me and Julia waited outside for my friend Heather to join us at the AMC connected to the mall.

We weren't able to take any photos or anything beforehand, since the theater lobby was so packed, so we just headed straight into our showing. It was a smaller theater than what we'd been in for Oppenheimer, but it was packed with people wearing pink outfits. When the Nicole Kidman ad started playing, me and Julia began quietly quoting it along with her, and other people in the audience heard us and either laughed or joined in with us, and the whole theater clapped once it was done playing, which made me feel like I was in great company.

The movie itself was hilarious, incredible, and surprisingly emotional. I never wanted to tear my eyes away from the screen for a single second, even though I inevitably did to look over at Heather or Julia and see their reactions too. It was such a fun one to see with a packed audience - everyone was laughing, clapping and reacting to the in-jokes and quippy moments. Once we got out we found the Barbie Box and the movie poster and took a bunch of photos that didn't turn out super well, but were still fun to take.

Heather wound up giving me a ride home afterward, and we spent the whole drive just reminiscing about our favorite childhood Barbies and dolls in general, and how much we wish we could still play with them.

I was completely exhausted by the time I got home, and I've been exhausted in general this weekend. Just sleeping a ton. I feel like it's all just been catching up to me or something. I have no idea what this week is going to bring, and to be honest I really don't want to think about it. I just want to escape into Barbie movie memes and shitposts, so I guess I'm just going to reblog a bunch of those now until I fall asleep.

[greaterstokesawareness]

My RECAP: Brian Stokes Mitchell and Seth Rudetsky with South Shore Orchestra at Madison Theatre at Molloy University, March 31, 2023

[Brian Stokes Mitchell performs with Seth Rudetsky and the South Shore Orchestra at Madison Theatre at Molloy University in Rockville Centre, Long Island, New York on Friday, March 31, 2023.]

Road trip to Long Island

This was our first Stokes show of 2023 (and hopefully not our last). We were hoping that a miracle would happen and that some tickets to the Ragtime Reunion Concert would materialize for us, but alas it was not in the cards. Not to worry though, because we had this Stokes show lined up for just a few days later. So, me and my bestie hopped in the car for the 2-hour drive to Long Island soundtracked by Little Steven's Underground Garage on SiriusXM because our tastes are eclectic even when driving towards musical theater royalty.

The last time we saw Stokes with Seth Rudetsky was almost a year ago to the day, on April 4, 2022 at The Town Hall in NYC (x). At that show, they sang and talked around a single piano with no other accompanists. This time around, Seth and Stokes were joined by a full orchestra, The South Shore Orchestra, so once again, we were treated to a slightly different configuration that made this show another really special night. It's hard to explain how multiple shows with very similar set lists can feel so fresh and alive and different, but this is just always how I feel after going to see Brian Stokes Mitchell - granted I am that goofy nerd that will listen to a song on repeat for days and get goosebumps every time and find an element of it I've never clocked before on like listen number 72. Side note: please consider listening to these two Leonard Cohen songs back-to-back on repeat for like 14 days straight to prove you are a normal functioning adult human person.

Happy birthday to me? And the president plays guitar

The pre-show butterflies were real when we were sitting in the seats in this really beautiful venue and chatting with the retired women in our row, looking out at the stage with all the instruments resting near the chairs and highlighted by that purple glow all venues seem to have. The show was preceded by some remarks by members of the university brass (the people in charge at the fundraisers not the horn players). At one point, the president of the university got up to speak and mentioned that he was going to be filling in on guitar with the orchestra. We saw him in the lobby after the show and told him he did a great job, which was a fun, wholesome little moment!

Another fun moment (also terrifying?!) happened about halfway through the show, when Seth suddenly said "Where's Dana?" and when I tell you the adrenaline rush that went through me was no joke. Now for those of you that don't know, my name is Dana, but Seth was not talking about me, apparently the university president's wife is also named Dana and it was her birthday. Anyway, I got to hear Stokes and a whole auditorium sing "happy birthday" to Dana, so I'll take that as a win for me personally and will play that for myself next January.

Turns out songs sound super cool with a full orchestra

The rest of the show was fun and moving and sounded really amazing with the full orchestra. There were songs we got to hear with the full orchestra for the first time that we had only ever heard with a small band or just piano before. Some full orchestra highlights were "This Nearly Was Mine," "A Wizard Every Day" (apologies to everyone for the unhinged shoutout, but it's like our fave), "Feeling Good," and "Getting Married Today." Stokes did his Methuselah bit in "Ain't Necessarily So," which honestly, I never get tired of seeing because the goofiness of it all. And to cap things off, at the end of the same week of the very emotional Ragtime reunion, Stokes asked Seth to sing Audra's parts on "Wheels of a Dream" and it was everything.

Here's the full set list:

I, Don Quixote

How to Handle a Woman

Stars

Ain't Necessarily So

Happy Birthday (to Dana)

This Nearly Was Mine

A Wizard Every Day

Feeling Good

Getting Married Today

Wheels of a Dream (Seth doing Audra's parts)

Impossible Dream

Who has CDs anymore (hint: it's me)

This show was at a theater on a college campus and it was inside a bigger campus building and so they didn't close down after the show was over. We ended up hanging out for a bit, which is when we got to chat with the guitar-playing-university-president and other Dana of birthday fame, but we also had the opportunity to briefly meet Stokes too. So, one year after being incoherent at the stage door of the Town Hall show, I actually was able to say words this time.

Earlier in the night, Seth opened up the floor for a few questions and people were very interested in what Stokes might be up to next, including my best friend who had the courage to raise their hand and ask about plans for the Plays With Music re-release. Like Stokes has said before, the album will be re-released soon along with both of his other albums. He made a joke about the fact that you can only listen to it right now if you have the CD, and who has CDs anymore. He also mentioned that the Ragtime Reunion concert was filmed and to keep an eye out for information on that by visiting the Entertainment Community Fund website.

So, I managed to say "hi" and ask Stokes to sign something. When he saw the Plays With Music CD in my hand, he enthusiastically said "You had the CD!" and I said "I had the CD!" which honestly made my night. He signed my CD and took a selfie with both of us and that was that. We walked off into the chilly, early spring night feeling that spiritual renewal that only your favorite music can bring you.

[the-madwomen]

Sleep schedule is still jacked up. No idea how to fix it in all honesty. Should have known working on fixing my interdimensional traveling device late at night would affect me like this, but here we are.

Oh, speaking of that. I've got the blasted thing fixed up, for the most part. The problem is that I don't have a fuel source for it. I don't even know what it was, originally. I made the whole thing as a project for a theater production class in high school, finding the fuel source in there for reasons I still don't understand. It's not like I put in the fuel and then instantly my hunk of wood, plastic, and paper mache was a working device, of course.

After I passed the project, I took it home and, slowly but surely, improved it. Used some tools at my father's when he had me for custody, when the old man having me do his handy work for him and having us watch movies you shouldn't watch with your father. Once my mother and step-father moved, taking me with them, I began going out and buying my own supplies, which extended when I finally moved out unexpectedly while they were in holiday. Eventually I managed to haphazard together enough wiring and tools to make it into an actual device.

I was very proud of myself, even before I knew what it was capable of.

I mused to myself that it may have been a way to go across alternate realities, which was a lucky guess though logically what else could it have been?, but in truth I didn't think it would amount to much. It was just a personal project I was working on for no reason other than the feeling that... I was working on something.

I have executive dysfunction. Not officially diagnosed, but I know I have ADHD and the inability to work on things I'm passionate about a lot of the time, so there's that. It does affect my more artistic endeavors mostly, but it also keeps me from doing normal adult things like job hunting and whatnot. It's dreadful, but better than what I thought it was before I knew it existed... Depression.

So it was nice that I had something that I was just able to do. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I didn't think there was any importance to it, and therefore the dysfunction didn't settle in as harshly. Though I will admit, it was still hard to muster up the energy some days. And it could be risky. Let's just say my hair wasn't always pure white, though I did manage to rock the look. But then, one day, I decided to pull the trigger after a bit more work. And...

It worked.

I was amazed. At the device, at that mysterious fuel, and... At myself. I managed to create this. Sure, not without some help from the internet in how to engineer such a thing, not the use of supplies provided by my school, my emotionally abusive parents, some hardware stores an hour's walk away from my mother's house, and the many, many underpaid workers who actually made those supplies... But for what I was able to make out of the lemons handed to me by both my skill and by chance, I made some damned fine lemonade.

I didn't quite comprehend what had happened at first. It wasn't until a bird, specifically a three-eyed corvid whom I dubbed Clementine, flew out of the portal my device produced did I understand what was happening. I hardly even stopped to wonder if it was safe to go through. Sure, Clementine was fine when they went through it, but for all I knew the portal could have formed 100 meters in the air, or that the air in that universe would have killed me. Nevertheless, I took the risk. I am glad I did. I do wish I had taken longer to take it, but I was more desperate and less caring of myself back then. Ah well, turned out for the best.

I have many memories of my travels. I witnessed horrors that would drive sane people mad, meaning I was grateful to have always been crazy. I witnessed wondrous things that... Honestly would have done the same. I made good friends, horrible enemies, and even a frenemy or two. I've lost some good people and... a bird along the way, but that's what happens in an adventurous life, I suppose. That's what I tell myself at least. I have been able to overthrow governments, though never on my own. I have invented a few wondrous items, and got many more marvelous creations by brilliant lunatics like myself. It was marvelous, as if I were sailing the ocean.

... Then I had to ruin all that.

I came back to this dimension because... Well I missed my friends I had made here, specifically my found family on Discord. Not to mention the internet constantly changing on you can get annoying. I managed to come back to this universe earlier than I had left, if that makes any sense. My plan was simple enough. Make sure I could always be connected to this universe's internet no matter what dimension I went to, gather up what friends were willing to leave this satire of a world behind and never set foot in it again, interacting with it only through that world's wide web. Then I had to do something stupid.

I put the device in the same pocket as my phone, breaking both in the process.

Anywhere from months to decades of exploring, all put to an end due to my own incompetence. I'm just glad it was here and not a more unfamiliar world. At the very least, I was able to connect my origin dimension's internet back to my home dimension, so I'm still able to talk with them long distance. Now it's about 3/4 of a year, and I've readjusted to the conditions of capitalism, which is never a good thing to have to get used to. To tell the truth, I had almost managed to forget what rent even was before being stranded on this deserted island of a universe.

Now I almost have a way out. Almost. I just need to find out what that fuel was. I hope to the gods it was something from this world! I had my (non-romantic since I'm aro) partner, who wishes to stay anonymous for now, send out a distress signal to other travelers for me, though there's no telling when help is going to arrive, or if they even need to. I hope they come soon. It's terribly lonely

Thank you for reading this far. It's probably not that exciting to hear a mad woman's ramblings, so thank you.

[nobody7102]

I’ve got Rhett brain, I blame @auroralightsthesky but anyways. If your comfy hcs about what it was like for Wifey and Rhett having the twins? Bc even though they’ve already had like 4 kiddos I feel like it’s just absolutely chaos

Yeah I thank @auroralightsthesky is the reason why I half the majority of the thoughts I do, so thanks bestie!

Honestly all of Wifey’s pregnancies were chaotic, first pregnancy the easiest out of all, second time around hardest one to date: bedridden the entire time, third pregnancy was just nausea and headaches, fourth time was the same as the third

So imagine Wifey and Rhetts surprise when they first learned they were adding another Abbott to the family, and nothing had gone wrong, everything as close to the book normal

And let me tell you how absolutely floored they were when they learned everything in the pregnancy was going just fine AND they were having twins?!

It was a normal day, the first light snow of the season has fallen, covering everything in a thin layer of frost

Wifey was just out for a walk, all bundled up while Rhett, Royal, and Perry were out working in the fields, when Hannah asks for some help with the skunks

And who is wifey to say no, bc animal lover like all of her children. So she goes into the barn to help Hannah add blankets to the nest, as she goes to stand she paused and let out a shakey breath

“Ma?” Hannah was immediately at her mother side, but she just cracks a smile and waves it off “I’m fine” and goes to stand again but another shakey breath let’s out before she felt that familiar pop.

“Hey Hannah Banana..” she hummed, trying to sound as calm as possible “I need you to go get Nana”

Hannah listens rushing into the house yelling for Cecilia before the two of them are immediately back out to Wifey who’s already start to feel the connections, having done this whole process four times already she’s pretty in tune with the whole process so her body’s like ready to go.

“Cece, this is happening… like now” she chuckled gripping onto Cece’s shoulder as they wonder back into the house. Cece brings Y/N into the living room before calling Rhett

Boy was that I fun phone call “hey Ma… what….. right- right now? I’m in the middle of the fucking pasture…. Okay…. Yeah” before he drops his tools and runs over to his horse and just takes off leaving Royal and Rhett very confused

Back at the house Cece’s trying to get Y/N into the truck but it’s not going to well “Cece I’ve done this four times.” She groans, leaning over the armrest of the couch “We get in the truck and it’s a half hour drive into town, then another twenty to the hospital” she shook her head “I don’t have that time and these boys are just like their father… no patience”

Rhett makes it to the house in record time and joins Cece in trying to get Y/N into the truck. To which she shakes her head and starts heading up the stairs. Rhett looks between the Stairs and Cece before letting out a groan “Ma do you wanna go help her? I’ll be there in a minute” Cece just nodded and followed Y/N

“Amy!” He called before the girl came in from somewhere in the house “I’m gonna go set up the projector in the barn, okay? I want you to take your cousins out there and watch movies. I don’t care what movies I just need you to keep them all out of the house” he grabbed a few bed sheets and the aforementioned projector and when to the barn being met with Rhett and Perry halfway there

He hands them the sheets and projector “you two, set up a movie theater thing for the kids, Y/N’s in labor. I don’t care what they do, or what they watch just keep them out of the fucking house.”

Wifey man she’s one tough bitch man, because these twins put her through the ringer. We’re talking 15 hour labor(it’s what my mom had to go through with me and my twin 😝) so technically they could have made it to the hospital

At 5:30 AM as the sun started to rise Harvey Dorian Abbott came screaming into the world, his brother however. Stubborn like his father, and at 5:45 AM Franklin Malcolm Abbott joined his brother just as the morning sun hit its peak

[kissyck]

hiii besties!! it’s been a hot minute since i’ve been on/posted on here and i’ve missed y’all <3 i did some cc shopping and finally opened sims yesterday for the first time in months. made this lil simmie and did a quick edit to post! i’m going to start getting caught up on reblogging and replying to asks, sorry that it’s been such a delay! (also am currently working on some new nails *wink* *wink*) love and appreciate all you lovely humans so much <33

more in depth update below the cut for those interested :)

so i genuinely have no idea how to do quality update posts, but i guess i’ll just go in order of events.

i would say july was fairly eventful. i finished my infusion treatments at the hospital, which ended up making me feel SO much better (i had severe anemia). i genuinely didn’t realize how bad the physical and mental toll that it was taking on my body. i gamed a LOT, just had lost pretty much any interest in the sims. fall guys had become my fixation, and i had started a perfection save in stardew which also became the only thing i wanted to do. i bought more squishmallows. i got another piercing in my ears, and that same day i got fitted and met with a physical therapist so i can start the painfully long process of getting a new wheelchair. i saw a rainbow while driving home from my dad’s house. i took wayyyy too many pictures of my puppy who’s literally ginormous now, and taking all the pics of my kitties!! july ended with a mini road trip to see a comedy show, and i took pictures of clouds the whole way there.

the beginning of august was bittersweet, but was followed by one of the best days i’ve had all year. august 1st i hung out with my best friend in the whole universe before she moved 13 hours away. we’ve dealt with long distance before and talk every day, but this is definitely the farthest we’ve ever been from each other. i’m soo happy for her and am so excited to see all the amazing things she’s gonna do in the future. a few days later, i went on another road trip to nashville!! another bestie of mine was having a concert that i could not miss. plus i love nashville, so i will take any excuse to go. this trip was one of the trips EVER!! i got to see a lot of my internet friends too that i never get to see and i love them all so much. the concert was SOOO good <3 ugh i wish i could go backkkk. i also bought more squishmallows in nash lmaooo. they’re addicting. the rest of august was pretty much uneventful. i played stardew and fall guys with friends, animal snuggles bc they’re all terrified of storms and we had some bad ones, and i bought myself a fancy new mechanical keyboard (the new logitech one from the aurora collection!!) it’s so beautiful, i literally cried when i first opened it.

september was eh. i started a new animal crossing island, which i spent a lot a time playing. that and any animal snuggle i could get. the end of september was a bit rough, i was in pretty low spirits. i lost a close friend of mine earlier this year and it was her birthday. i couldn’t stop thinking about her, which was also making me think of my dog that i had also lost earlier this year (both happened on the same day). there was also some other family stuff, so i didn’t love the end of september. good things did happen though! my furbaby niece came to live with us again. i missed her so much. she’s the cutest lil peanut ever. and i went to the movie theater which was fun! also prepped for my birthday trip since we were leaving the first of october!

and now we’re in october. this month so far has been good! it started with another road trip for my birthday (i turned 23 on oct 4!) this was hands down one of the most fun trips i’ve ever been on. we went to austin for a concert two nights in a row and they were both just so magical. i dressed up fun and went shopping too (yes i bought more squishmallows) honestly that trip would have to be it’s own full post bc so much happened. have just been chilling ever since. was supposed to go on another mini road trip yesterday for a concert but pneumonia went through our house (i didn’t catch it thankfully) so that kind of threw a wrench in our plans. oh and dr. ms. taylor alison swift released an album and it has such a chokehold on me it’s not even funny. i literally cannot describe how much i love her. every time i’m listening to it, my puppy runs in and comes to listen too. she’s got TASTE :) oh and omg i almost forgot, i reached perfection in stardew!!!!!!! this is the first time i’ve ever done that and it was so fun.

[jimblejamblewritings]

luck be a (leading) lady | part 6.

[Posted 2022.09.25]

Summary: Y/N has always been a background character. That’s just life for some folks isn’t it? But what if she’s determined to not just be another member in the ensemble? What if someone helps her step into the spotlight in her own special way?

Warnings for the Series: a teeny bit of angst but mainly fluff

Pairing: ricky bowen x black!reader

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I will get back to the Harry Potter series when I finish this one

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

“You’re here early,” you said as you entered the drama club room.  

“This is way more important than Troy. I want to be good,” Ricky said, standing up from stretching. “I like the new hair.”

You flipped your box braids that were put up in a ponytail. “Thanks, I brought lunch.” 

“Dance first, eat later.”

You laughed. “You’re starting to sound like me. Alright, which dance first?” 

“The library dance.” 

“Right you do have two left feet.”

Ricky scoffed. “Okay, Miss Prima. A girl gets Clara once and suddenly she knows everything.” 

You set down lunch and your bags in order to pull out your character heels. The three-inch beauties had gotten you through so many productions they might as well have been a good luck charm. You tested out the floor like always before standing up. You both gave each other a smile as you got ready to dance. It wasn’t too hard to teach Ricky. He might not have been a natural dancer but he picked up quickly on every little lesson. 

“How are you and Nini spending Valentine’s Day?” You asked as you taught him the next step.

Ricky spun you under his arm, marking the dip because he wasn’t confident in that yet. He wasn’t terrible at the steps. It was putting them together in a waltz that threw him off. You were just impressed that your toe had only been stepped on one time so far.  

“I actually drove to Denver to surprise her this morning. Turns out she drove here so we completely missed each other. And then her mom twisted her ankle so they’re at the emergency room? But we’re gonna FaceTime later.” 

“Oh my God, that was like an eight hour drive? That’s so sweet.” 

“What about you?” 

“Do I look like I have a boyfriend?” 

“You had a whole secret ballet and theater company, I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

“I’m so single right now. Actually, I’ve never had a Valentine’s Day date ever. I think I’m just going to watch some cheesy romance movies.” 

“Gina?”

“Is going on a date with EJ?” 

Ricky stopped dancing. “I’m sorry what?” 

“Just as friends according to both of them but EJ took your spot at breakfast and I’m pretty sure they’re lying or just aren’t at that stage yet. She really needs it anyway, her mom called this morning but it’s fine. Do you still need help unpacking?”

You made him get back to the dancing. When you broke apart for the solo dance, you just watched Ricky go through the moves. He made sure to do them full out because you were a bit ruthless whenever you helped him learn dances.  

“Are you offering to spend your Valentine’s Day helping me unpack my house?” 

“I’m going to be utterly bored, Ricky. My parents got married on Valentine’s Day so they won’t be home because it’s their anniversary. Me and Gina have been home alone for about four days now. I have nothing to do.” 

“Sure, stop by.” 

“Thank you for saving me,” you said as you entered Ricky’s apartment after school.

It was a nice place. You enjoyed the fact that they were on the ground floor. Plus the complex had a pool which you and Gina already told Ricky that you would be using as often as possible when summer came. He was starting to wonder if the apartment was more for his friends or him and his dad.  

“Because unpacking boxes is so much more interesting.” 

You looked around. Ricky held up a hand, already knowing you were going to comment that the place hadn’t changed at all. Pretending to zip your lips, you walked into his room. You both moved boxes around in silence for a bit. Ricky stopped putting up his skating medals. 

“You know, you and Gina’s present won me a competition. I really needed that new board, the old one was falling apart.”

“You won a competition?” 

“Yep.” 

“That’s awesome! I’ve always wanted to skate, I don’t even know how to roller skate.”

“Really?” 

“Seriously.” You handed him some more medals that were in a different box. 

“Hey, about what you said earlier… Have you really never had a Valentine’s date?” 

“Nope. Not even those candy telegrams you give to everyone at school… Does buying myself flowers count?”

“It does not.” 

“Then no, never.” You flopped over Ricky’s bed to read an email notification. “RICKY!” 

“What? What happened?” He turned around with a quickness. 

You held up your phone. “The Berklee scout, it’s from the Berklee scout.” 

“Wait, really?” He grabbed your phone out of your hand to read the email. 

“He said he’s been looking at all the performances that The Saltwater Company filmed and that’s why it took him so long to get back. He and some other professors from school want to see me live in theater and then they’ll decide.”

“This says they’ll decide on dual majors?”

“He’s already seen my dancing in person. They want to see my acting and theater skills in person to know if I can do both the acting and dancing program or just the dancing. I’m basically already in, I don’t have to worry about college at all next year.” 

“This is amazing!” Ricky got closer to pull you in for a hug. 

You clenched your teeth when you pulled away. “I don’t even have a line in the show. Oh my God, I don’t have a line. How are they supposed to see anything? It’ll just be dancing all over again.” 

“Hey, we’ll figure something out.” 

“Like what? Someone has to drop out of the show for me to even have a chance… It’s getting late. You have a FaceTime date with Nini, don’t you? See you at breakfast.” 

You gave him one final hug before grabbing your bag and leaving. You turned around when you made it to his room doorway. 

“You should sing that song you made for her over the phone. I think every girl likes a sweet gesture. See you later.”

Like you expected, the house was empty. Your parents would be in New York until Monday. Gina had already left for her date or whatever she wanted to call it with EJ. You turned on your shower and changed into some comfy pajamas before moving back downstairs to put on the cheesy romance movies. Your cat, Samson, joined you about halfway through the first movie and your dog, Lola, came bounding in a few moments later. 

Ricky showed up the next morning. The same way you and Gina had a gate key to his apartment, he had a key to your house. You and Gina waved when he entered the kitchen. He grabbed himself a plate and sat on the island. 

“G, your date?”

“Stop saying it’s a date. Me and EJ are friends. We kind of really bonded over the wonderstudy thing.” 

You and Ricky gave each other a look. You guys grabbed your breakfast to-go and got into your car. Jokingly, Gina and Ricky asked about your movies. 

“They were great, thanks for asking. Can you believe Ms. Jenn is having us come in for practice? They literally canceled school because of the storm.” 

“Yeah,” Ricky agreed. “Is two hours really going to make a difference?”

“What if we get stuck?” Gina wondered. 

“Please don’t even put that idea out there.” 

“Whatever, you just better step it up because Carlos and I are doing the big group number today. And don’t worry, Y/N, I included a special dance break for the feather dusters. You’re going to need your pointe shoes.” 

“Thanks, G.” 

“No problem. Well, hopefully the routine gets in. Carlos and I have been butting heads the entire time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants another number that features Lumiere.” 

“Can we not talk about feature parts right now?” 

“Sorry,” Gina muttered before getting quiet. 

You were pretty quiet yourself the entire rehearsal. All you could think about was the fact that you had no real opportunity to show the Berklee scouts during the entire performance. You couldn’t even move when Nini entered the room. She was about to get a bus back to her new arts school but wanted one last goodbye. Everyone ran over to give her a big hug. Ricky looked at you for a brief moment before going to Nini.

Just as Nini was about to leave, the storm came about an hour and a half too early. Ms. Jenn left with Nini to try and drive her to a bus stop that would take her back to Denver. The rest of you were planning on finishing rehearsal. Those plans were also ruined when the power was cut off. The only good thing was Gina’s mom being a FEMA worker because Gina was good at keeping everyone calm. Ricky came to sit by you after some time. 

“How are you?” 

“The truth?”

“When did we ever lie to each other?”

“I’m starting to stress about the whole Berklee thing.” 

“Will stressing over pizza help?” Ricky held up a slice. 

You took it. “I still can’t believe Kourtney got the pizza dude to bring us all these boxes. Haven’t they only been seeing each other for like a week?” 

“Kourt can be very persuasive when she wants to be. And about Berklee, I think you’ll be great.”

“Only you think that.” 

“Not just—”

“One hundred percent just you, Ricky. It’s always just you.” 

“What?” He asked when you suddenly got quiet. “Is there something on my face?” 

You reached for another slice of pizza. “No, no, sorry I just spaced out for a moment. My head is kind of everywhere right now. I’m gonna get a drink.”

“Get me some.”

You nodded and moved to grab Gina before going to pour out a soda. 

“What’s up?” 

“I think… I think I just found Ricky attractive.” 

“What?!”

“Voice down. I don’t know. He’s always looked like that, right? This is bad.”

“What are you going to do?”

Nothing. The only solution was to do absolutely nothing. Ricky was the first real friend you had in a while. Nothing was about to be ruined by you suddenly finding him somewhat decent looking. You weren’t going to risk it at all. Besides, he had a girlfriend that he was totally in love with. And you… unpacked his house with him. Those were so not equal. You wouldn’t put Ricky at a distance but you wouldn’t act on anything. The crush would go away on its own anyway.  

~~

“Gina, why are we in a barn?” Nini asked. 

That was new. Nini was back at East High. Apparently YAC was like the worst school ever. 

“We’re here because Seb and I had a crazy idea and we only have 48 hours to pull it off.”

“And this idea would be?” 

“Carlos never got a proper quinceanero and it’s his birthday this weekend so we’re doing it now.”

Everyone agreed that it was a great idea. Parties were always fun. It was surprisingly easy to keep the secret from Carlos during rehearsal. He was way more focused on getting the dancing correct that he didn’t even notice the very suspicious glances between all of you. His surprise face after the party was all any of you could talk about in rehearsal the following week. Ms. Jenn clapped her hands as she walked into the room. 

“Code Red. Absolute code red. North High has scrapped The Little Mermaid and are now doing our production of Beauty and the Beast… with real wolves.” 

“What?!” 

“And Lily is playing Belle.”

The cast started to panic. You only switched to Beauty and the Beast in order to beat North High. There was no chance if you guys were putting on the same musical. And how did they even get real wolves? That has to be some form of illegal. 

“Not to worry,” Ms. Jenn started. “We have a secret weapon. Our lovely singing rose!” 

Nini walked in. “Let’s take North High down!” 

You clapped a little less than everyone else. Quickly, you shot up. 

“Ms. Jenn, if Nini is now playing the rose. Is it possible for me to have a small line or something? I kind of really need it.” 

“Sorry, honey, but we can’t keep making switches. It already took a lot of convincing the Menkie board that adding a rose part wouldn’t disqualify our production from nominations.” 

“W-well what if it’s not a new part? I play a lot of the ensemble so maybe just some interaction with Belle or—”

“Y/N—”

“Ms. Jenn, I just nee—”

“We can discuss a bigger role for next fall’s musical. You’re holding up rehearsal.” 

One thing you had never done was hold up rehearsal. The room felt small all of a sudden. You practically ran out of it. Ricky stood up to go follow you. He stopped in the doorway. 

“Scouts from Berklee are coming to see her. She’s been trying to tell everyone for a while.”

The entire cast, including Ms. Jenn, fell silent.  

“What?” 

“You know she got Clara in The Nutcracker too. Not that any of you showed up. Y/N, wait!” 

You turned around at Ricky’s words. “Wait for what?” 

“Just come back to rehear—”

“I can’t. I can’t, sh-she ju—”

He wrapped you in a bear hug. The rest of the cast looked on from the threshold of the drama club room. They could hear Ricky going through breathing exercises with you. He only let go when he felt you were stable. 

“I know she’s your girlfriend so I’m going to leave before I say something I regret.”

“Just say it.”

“It was just a line! I just needed something to show those scouts and she wasn’t even here for auditions but a whole part was created. I don’t exist, Ricky. And you know it’s probably going to be the same at Berklee so why even bother? I’m going home.”  

He grabbed your arm. “You’re not in any position to drive right now.” 

“I’ll walk.”

“I’m not letting you walk either… Just wait in my car, okay? I’ll take you and Gina back home when rehearsal’s done.”

The words between you and Ms. Jenn were still playing in your head. Along with a lot of thoughts about how she probably perceived you and how the rest of the cast probably perceived you. You grabbed onto your friend’s jacket. 

“Ricky, I still can’t breathe. I ca—”

“Floor. Let’s sit on the floor.” 

You slowly lowered yourself to the floor with his help, back resting against the lockers. Ricky squeezed your shoulders. He crouched down in front of you, making sure you focused on his face. 

“I’ll be right back, okay? I’m just gonna get your bag from the room.” 

Ricky walked backwards for a bit to keep his eye on you before darting into the classroom. The cast was still halfway in the room and halfway outside of it, asking lots of questions. Ricky grabbed your bag and looked around for your jacket and anything else that might have been yours. He pocketed your keys, not taking the risk of you getting in your car and driving off. He knew you wouldn’t leave in his car so he wasn’t that worried about handing you the keys for his. Ms. Jenn stopped him before he could fully leave the room. 

“Did she really play Clara?”

“Gina can show you the video. They filmed it. I’ll be right back.” 

Ricky helped you up from the lockers and walked you to his car. Inside, Gina pulled up the video to show everyone. She was telling them about how you did the show all the way up to Christmas. You sat in the passenger’s seat of Ricky’s car. 

“Just call me if you need anything,” Ricky said, holding up his phone. 

You nodded and let him go back to rehearsal. Ms. Jenn kind of let Gina and Carlos take over rehearsal with everyone. She wasn’t paying much attention to anything but your video. She had to admit that maybe she didn’t pay enough attention to you during auditions. Something always seemed to happen during your audition that she ended up not really focusing. Recasting the show wasn’t possible but she had to admit that she might not have cast as carefully as she thought.

(part 7)

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[typewrittenluck]

as the seasons change

C!Technoblade x gn!reader highschool!au

Word Count: 9.1k

Pronouns: they/them

A/N: this is literally so self indulgent, i spent a whole day writing this because im going through my techno feels rn. it basically follows the story of oblivious Y/N and Techno throughout the four seasons :)

Warnings: Underaged drinking, Swearing, Smoking, Drugs (very brief)

Suggested Songs: The State of Grace, Taylor Swift/ MEET ME AT OUR SPOT, THE ANXIETY, WILLOW, Tyler Cole/ that way, Tate McRae/ Falling, Chase Atlantic/ Compass, The Neighborhood

SUMMER------------

The August air was thick with the heat of the almost-setting sun. Her rays beat down on the backs of the group of teens, and mosquitos filled the silences between them with their incessant buzzing.

A small crack of static preceded the soft sound of music, accompanied by the sharp smack of Niki and Jack’s celebratory high-five.

“Didn’t you start setting up the speaker like an hour ago?” questioned Wilbur, who was sunk into a half-broken lawn chair that he had found in the garage. 

“Yeah, it would have been much faster if you had asked Techno” chimed Y/N from their place leaning against the above mentioned man’s leg.

His grunt of response was cut short by his little brother, Tommy, bursting into laughter.

“Because he’s TECHno! Get it?!”

Everyone groaned and Wilbur smacked Tommy upside the head, grumbling about “shouldn’t have let you come hang out with us”

Y/N giggled at that, but took sympathy on the boy. “Aww don’t be like that Wil, Tommy, I thought that was hilarious.”

“Don’t encourage him, Y/N” Techno leaned down to murmured to them in his low, monotonous voice.

There it was. The way he said their name! The way his calf felt under Y/N’s back! The way he whispered sentences directly to them, as if it was some closely guarded secret. It was enough to bring butterflies to their stomach as they praised whatever higher being was out there for the heat of the day covering their blush.

“It’s so fucking hot,” Fundy moaned, kicking Wilburs shin from his place lying facedown on the grass. “Can we go to the pool or something?”

His request was met with a spectrum of responses, varying from Tommy’s “YES, PLEASE WILL? PLEASE!” to Technoblades indifferent shrug.

Jack took note of Technoblades open response with a shout of laughter. “TECHNOBLADE IN THE POOL! I WOULD PAY GOOD MON-”

“I’m not getting in, dumbass.”

“Why? Scared you’ll ruin your hair?”

“No, he doesn’t want us to know he’s secretly jacked under the sixteen sweaters he wears.”

Technoblade picked up the hem of his sweatshirt, making eye contact with Niki. She has a point.

“How do you wear that in the Summer?”

“It’s n- TOMMY!!” 

Shrieks of laughter follow Tommy’s water gun assault on his brother. “When did he slip away to go get those?” Y/N wondered aloud.

“WHEN ARE WE LEAVING??” Tommy asked enthusiastically. 

---

A crowded minivan, a stop to pick up Tommy’s friend, and a raid of Phil’s linen closet for pool towels later, the group arrived at the neighborhood pool. The sun hung low in the horizon as people spilled out of Phil’s van and began dragging the pool toys and water guns towards the gate.

The air around the black metal bars barring their entrance to the pool seemed to quiver. 

“I think Wil has the pool key.” piped Niki in response to Fundy throwing his weight against the fence. 

Fundy, in turn, sprinted back to the car, where Wilbur was taking inventory of snacks (and probably hiding the best for himself). 

Technoblade looked down at the two younger boys and Y/N conversing in hushed whispers. All of a sudden, they screamed out in perfect synchronization, in equally high pitched voices,

“Let me innnn! Let me in pleaseeee!”

And promptly burst into giggles. Y/N almost toppled into Techno, both from laughing and the slight weariness from the heat. 

The pool noodles he was balancing beneath his arms (laden with tote bags of pool toys and towels) toppled to the ground, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was Y/N’s hand steadying themself on his chest, and the way his face began to heat up almost unbearably considering the weather. 

“Oops, sorry!” they squeaked, leaning down to pick up the fallen noodles.

Technoblade was burst out of his daze by the return of his brother and Fundy, who triumphantly swiped the access card against the pad before kicking the gate wide open.

The clang of metal against the concrete pool clubhouse sent reverberating waves into the air, and everyone winced as the metal continued to drag. 

Pool entrances varied, Niki, on the one hand, took her time tip-toeing into the water by the stairs, while Tubbo and Tommy almost knocked each other out crashing over the edge to the deep end.

Y/N chuckled at their antics, but seeing as they had settled on not getting wet today, they picked out a chaise in the shade and pulled a book and pen out of the small bag they had brought with them.

Technoblade watched them with almost unwavering interest, unless someone happened to look his way, in which case he would quickly turn back to his phone, scrolling aimlessly through his home screen until they turned away.

From his spot under the little roof of the clubhouse, he had an almost unobstructed view of Y/N, and how they chewed at the end of the pen they used to annotate their book. Oh how he wished he could read the little notes they scribbled in the margins, or the drawings they would surround words with when they got distracted from reading. And the way that pen dangled from their lips, their tantalizing, soft lips. Taunting him, almost. And their jewel-like, bright eyes. Always so inviting and playful; like the way they were meeting his right now-

Shit

He hadn’t realized he’d been staring that intently. A small quirk of their eyebrow and a smirk on their lips was enough to make his heart give out. But not now. Not when they were waving their hand so intently to get him to sit next to them. Pretending to ponder the decision and gather his belongings, (when in reality he was just collecting his bearings), he walked over to them.

“See! You don’t always want to be alone, Mr. I’m so antisocial and I hate everyone!” they smiled, patting the adjacent seat.

You’re the only exception, he thought, his brain screaming and pushing to let the words leave his mouth. He couldn’t though, not when they could never think of him the way that he thought of them.

So he answered with a small smile and a chuckle. 

“What are you reading?”

“The Picture of Dorian Gray! Remember you said you thought I’d enjoy it?” they answered with enthusiasm, that sparkle still evident in their eyes.

It warmed his heart to know that they had taken the suggestion and committed to the book, which was admittedly a pretty tough read, because of him.

“How could I forget?”

Their smile widened and they buried their head back in the book, that cursed pen once again being squished between their plush lips.

Technoblade peered over their shoulder to see that they were nearing the middle of the book, where Dorian returns from his  theater date with Basil and Henry. Feeling satisfied enough that they were invested in the story, given their gasp and furious scribbling in the margins, he felt it safe enough to stare at them under the orange-tinged glow of the sunset. 

Of course, he forgot about the crowd of his friends who were nudging each other and whispering about his infatuation with you. The whispers reached Wilbur who narrowed his eyes in his twin's direction and made a mental note to ask him about it later.

Once dark hit and the water began to run a little too cold for anyone's taste, they began to wrap themselves up in towels and raid Wilburs snack stashes. The snack distribution was cut off by Wilburs phone, screen lit up with a zoomed in photo of none other than Philza. 

DADZA!!! Read the contact name as Wilbur swiped the screen and held the phone between his shoulder and ear, continuing to hand out snacks.

“OI, where in fucks sake are you lot? It’s an hour past the devils ass why i…”

The rest of Phil’s screaming faded as Wilbur walked away to calm his father down. 

“AN HOUR PAST THE DEVILS ASS” Y/N screamed with laughter, sending the entire group into raucous peals of giggles.

“Yep, mhhm, we’ll be there” Wilbur walked back towards the group, motioning for everyone to get in the car.

“Yes dad I know, yes, okay we will drop him off. Okay, bye” Hanging up the phone, he ushered people back into the car, holding Tubbo back by his upper arm so that he could sit with easiest access to the door.

After dropping Tubbo off, and then doubling back and driving around town to drop people off at various houses, Technoblade, Tommy and Wilbur were alone in the car with Y/N. 

“Here. Here. WIL! Pull over!” 

The van screeched to a halt as Y/N clambered over Tommy’s long legs, almost falling out onto the pavement. They leaned against the door of the passenger seat, thanking Wilbur and bidding farewell to the brothers. Just before they stepped away, Technoblade leaned down and kissed the crown of their head where it was leaning against his open window. Their stunned expression was lost in the dark and the window slid shut as Wilbur slammed the gas pedal to make it back in time before his dad’s curfew.

“What the fuck was that” 

Technoblade gave him a glare, which lost its effectiveness when paired with the burning red blush flooding his face and neck, highlighted under the harsh white lights of the car. He turned his face away and resigned to staring out the window, the night air filtering through the small crack giving his face a little bit of relief.

“Okay at least tell me, are you together?”

“No.”

“But he likes them!” piped up Tommy from the back seat, looking up from his phone where he was playing a game.

“No I- I don’t” Damnit The crack in his voice gave it away.

Wilbur, sensing that it seemed to be more of a sensitive topic than he thought, decided to drop the subject for the time being, and Tommy was already absorbed back in his game.

The rest of the drive was spent in silence as they raced against time and the rules of Philza Minecraft.

AUTUMN----------------------

School started a few weeks after the pool night, which was followed by many late nights and summer fun by the friends, the knowledge that half of them would be away to college next year heavy in the atmosphere. To say the least, Junior year was not treating Y/N well. They were almost always working on homework, if not doing SAT prep, and they rarely went out with their friends. The only time Technoblade got to see them was during his AP Lit class, and because of it, he considered himself the luckiest man in the world. Ms. Ren’s Literature classroom was the only place Technoblade seemed to see the old Y/N, the one from over the summer who got enthusiastic over books and gave him playful punches when he was a little too mean to their friends. Now, the only Y/N he saw was a stressed, tired person who was always carrying an energy drink in one hand and a stack of homework in the other. Except for in Lit. Y/n’s eyes would brighten as they discussed the reading from the previous night and their legs would jostle Technoblades from under their shared table to show him an annotation they had made. Technoblade assumed they were just rejuvenated from the literature, never once letting the thought cross his mind that maybe, just maybe, he was part of the equation too.

On the rare occasion that they would hang out with their friends, they would be easily prone to tears and every conversation would be redirected to how tired and stressed they were. Of course, Technoblade wanted them to be happy, and felt enormous empathy for his friend in the harshest year of high school, but he had suddenly become hyper-aware that the clock was ticking on his time left with them. He was a senior this year, and while Y/N still had a year left to go, Technoblade would be on his way to college, perhaps out of the country, in less than a year. It wasn’t wrong to want to make the most of his time with them.

It didn’t help that this internal time bomb was also counting down the opportunities he had left to tell them how he felt.

-----

He decided to get to them when they were in a good mood, and more likely to say yes. After Ms. Ren had finished assigning the reading due by Monday, he turned to the beautiful person who sat next to him and muttered in a low voice, 

“How’s your weekend looking?”

They looked up with a bright smile and whispered back

“I have tons of homework but I should be able to knock it out with a good day of work. Why? What do you have in mind?”

He knew this was the right time to ask you. 

“Just be ready by 4pm on Saturday.”

----

Technoblade sat on the edge of his usually neat bed, now strewn with almost every sweater he owned. He was picking a stray piece of lint from the sweater nearest to him when he saw his brother walk past, then backtrack out of the corner of his eye.

“What’s got you all indecisive?” Wilbur asked, gesturing vaguely to the sweaters and random articles of clothing adorning his room.

“Wait! Is today your date with Y/N?”

“It’s not a date.” grumbled Technoblade.

“Then why are you so stressed about what to wear?” he replied with raised eyebrows.

Technoblade groaned and threw himself on top of the pile of wool on his bed. “I just need this to be perfect. Y/N needs a break, and they deserve everything to be just right.”

“And you want to impress them” sang Wilbur, now nudging Techno aside to sift through his sweaters.

Technoblades noise of indignation was muffled as Wilbur threw a cream colored sweatshirt at his face. 

“What about this?”

“I couldn’t find what to wear it with.”

Wilburs sigh rang through Technoblades room as he opened the closet, now in his proper mindset as the family fashion consultant. Garment after garment was thrown in Techno’s general direction, and he leaned and reached to grab them all. 

“Try that”

Technoblade walked out of the bathroom to find Wilbur rummaging through his jewelry. 

“When did I say it was fine for you to go through my stuff?” asked Technoblade, shoving Wilbur away. Wilbur shrugged in response, motioning for Techno to open his hand so that he could drop his selection of rings and necklaces into his open palm.

As Wilbur walked out the door, he thought he heard a faint “thank you”, and smiled to himself.

-----

“This is elaborate”

“I’m a dynamic man Y/N.”

Y/N laughed at his response to the back seat of Technoblades car, which was filled with “supplies” for the evening.

“That outfit sure is dynamic.”

“Why?” Technoblade asked nervously, drumming slightly on the steering wheel. “Do you like it?”

“I love it! I didn’t think you could get any hotter but you somehow pulled it off!”

Realizing what they said, Y/N’s cheeks flushed a deep red and they began to pick at their flannel. As soon as Technoblades surprise wore off, and the butterflies faded back to the dull sensation that always seemed to linger when he was around them, he let out a snort of laughter. That sent both of them into a fit which continued until Technoblade hit a pothole from laughing so hard. 

Y/N’s momentary fear only made them laugh harder, but Technoblade attempted to quell himself before he no longer had four functioning tires.

“Do I get to know where you’re taking me?” Y/N asked. They had driven a little ways out from the city, to the vaguely familiar areas that one only drives by when they’re leaving town.

“Yes.” He replied, slowing the car into a small parking lot. “Because we’re here.”

The pair entered the small bookshop and a bell rang overhead. The store smelled of dust and books and Technoblade saw Y/N breathing the scent in like a breath of new life. Of course, this ended up in a small coughing fit which he pulled them out of with a few pats to their upper back. 

“Okay we are on somewhat of a schedule, so I need you to go get a book. Any book, and meet me back at the register in 10 minutes.” He said, grabbing them by the shoulders and making direct eye contact. “Okay, Go!” 

And they both got lost in the mazes of words.

At 4:30 sharp, Y/N found Technoblade waiting for them at the register with a stiff red hardcover. He reached out for their book as they reached for their wallet. 

“Tech, no, you don’t have to buy me books I can get it myself”

If for nothing else, the way they shortened the already shortened version of his name made his heart stutter, and he was overcome with the sudden urge to buy them every book in this store. But he wordlessly nodded his head ‘no’ and paid for their two books. 

As they walked back to the car, Y/N admired the way his jewelry glistened in the sun. The gold necklaces contrasting against the black turtleneck he wore under his sweatshirt made them think of the summer, when his rings would shine under the sun and in the light of their almost nightly group bonfire. Technoblade opened the door for them when they got to the car, pink hair flying in his face because of the wind. Before getting in, Y/N threw their arms around his neck in a hug.

“Thanks”

They mumbled into his neck.

He blamed his pink cheeks on the cold.

-----

“Let me carry something!” Y/N argued as Technoblade led them down the path of a park a little ways away from the bookstore.

“No.” he answered, a basket and three bags dangling from his arms. 

The argument continued as they made their way down the paved path, leaves crunching underneath their feet. A little ways into the walk, when the conversation had faded to discussing the latest reading assigned by Ms. Ren, Technoblade stopped Y/N by throwing a tote bag-laden arm against their chest.

“Here.”

He parted the branches that covered a small, unpaved path that led deeper into the trees.

“How do I know you’re not trying to lure me here to kill me?” mused Y/N, already a few steps ahead of the pink-haired man on the pine-straw path.

“Yeah hold on, let me just get my axe out from this basket real quick” deadpanned Technoblade, earning a giggle from Y/N.

A few moments later, the path opened up to a clearing with a few fallen logs and a small brook trickling near the edge.

“This is beautiful Tech! How did you find this?” they asked with an awestruck expression.

He hid the way that his ears flushed with his hair and busied himself laying out the picnic supplies he had dragged all the way out here, mumbling something unintelligible.

Once he was done, he looked up to find an empty clearing, Y/N nowhere to be found.

“Y/N?” he called

He received a response in the form of a small yelp and a rather loud splash. “Over here!”

“What the hell were you thinking?” he asked, sprinting over to the edge of the stream. Their giggles calmed him a little bit, but didn’t absolve him of all his worry as he subtly looked them over for any injuries. 

“I thought the rock would be steady enough to hold me” they pouted, gesturing vaguely at the rock in question, now shiny with water.

Technoblade sighed, rolling his eyes at their antics, but hoisted them up nonetheless. Once they were back on solid ground, he curled his finger around the back of his sweatshirt's neckline and pulled it over his head, almost knocking off his glasses in the process. He missed the way Y/N’s eyes narrowed and focused on the way his black knit turtleneck hugged his figure, tucked into the dark brown trousers Wilbur had dug out of his closet just hours previously.

“Are you warm?” asked Y/N with an incredulous look, teeth slightly chattering.

“It’s for you, dumbass. You’re almost sure to get sick in those wet clothes.”

Y/N’s heart stuttered at the gesture, and at the way Technoblade shushed them when they tried to argue.

He turned away as Y/N shed their dripping flannel and replaced it with the sweatshirt, warmed by his own body heat. 

When he turned back, he almost lost his breath again. Seeing them in his sweatshirt, the sleeves dangling past their fingertips and their hair a little tousled from pulling the garment over their head, messed with him just a little bit. He ignored the way that his cold-nipped nose was turning redder and redder and instead gently picked up their hand to guide them over to where he had set up the picnic, next to a towering tree with a thick trunk.

Both of them were hyper-aware of the way that his fingers held theirs, and the warmth that seemed to radiate from their touch. Neither one of them wanted to let go, but as they plopped down onto the picnic blanket sitting on the ground, their grip fell apart.

The loss of contact made the October day seem colder.

The muffled crunching of the leaves under their butts filled the air as they settled into a comfortable position and began digging through the picnic basket Technoblade had brought with food. The tension in the air slowly faded as they began to eat and the atmosphere filled with the joyous conversation of the two painfully oblivious teenagers. 

When they had both finished eating, Technoblade pulled out the bag that he had brought from the bookstore and handed Y/N their book. The smile that graced their lips as they mumbled out another ‘thank you’ brought another wave of butterflies down Technoblades stomach. He pulled out his own book and made himself comfortable against the thick tree trunk behind him. Y/N reached into their back pocket and pulled out a ballpoint pen, the cap of the pen riddled with chew marks. 

The damn pen.

They stuck it between their teeth and let it hang off of the right side of their mouth. Technoblade felt his chest heat up as they nudged him over to share his spot leaning against the tree. He opened his phone and hit play on a mix of Arctic Monkeys and Gang of Youths, before leaning back to where his shoulder was pressed with theirs and opened his book.

Time seemed to forget its rules in this quiet little forest, with just Y/N and Technoblade lost in their separate worlds of words. The peace was only ever disturbed by Y/N occasionally scribbling something down in the margin of their book, to which Technoblade would demand to see, and they would fall into a small discussion about the topic.

These occasions slowly began to wane off until Technoblade felt Y/N lean their head against him with a thud. He looked down to see them fast asleep, half leaning on his shoulder with the pen still clutched between their fingers. He took note of the way the pen was balanced like a cigarette and the small puffs of air following their cold breath resembled smoke. Ignored the way his heart was almost convulsing on itself, he chose to wrap his arm around them and savour the moment.

Because he was aware that before he knew it, it would be over.

WINTER---------------------------

The student media center had a hushed atmosphere to it, as people took advantage of their last afternoon to study for semester finals. Winter break would let out the next day, but for the overwhelmed Juniors and Seniors now crowding the library, the excitement would not set in until they quelled their nervousness over the last final of the semester.

One of the study rooms situated in the back was now crowded with the notorious friend group as they crammed for their last final. Fundy, Jack and Niki were trading around their history notes, Wilbur and Minx were arguing over the proper situation of a unit circle, and Technoblade was flash quizzing Y/N on the Polyatomic ions. Their frantic studying was interrupted by their friend, George, who had gotten bored of watching his two best friends during their last football practice of the semester. He quietly walked in and took a seat in the corner, pulling out a notebook and studying something or the other. 

“Why aren't Dream and Sapnap here cramming with us?” Minx asked George.

“They have their ‘weightlifting’ final tomorrow” seethed George, most likely jealous of his friends’ somewhat pointless final.

Everyone laughed, and some groans of similar jealousy rang through the air right before the cracking loudspeaker of the school crunched to life, announcing that the doors would close at 6:00. Y/N looked down at their watch face, which read 5:45.

“Fuck, I’m never going to learn these charges! Don’t even get me started on the fact that I don’t have the solubility rules memorized!” squeaked Y/N in frustration. Everyone gave them a sympathetic look, knowing the rigorous emotional and mental demands of taking AP Chemistry.

“Don’t worry, you still have the whole night to study!” consoled Fundy.

Technoblade felt his heart break at the way their eyes filled with tears of frustration. 

“My siblings scream way too much, I can never concentrate at home”

“Come study at our house!” exclaimed Wilbur. “We can kick Tommy out so he won’t bother you!”

Wilbur sensed their hesitation and cut in before they could say ‘no’

“Come on, Dad won’t mind, he loves you! And it gives us an excuse to send Tommy out!”

Y/N turned their head in questioning to Technoblade, who grunted and nodded his head.

“I mean, if you’re sure”

Eager nodding.

“Thanks so much Wil!”

---

It was 11:50 and Phil’s living room resembled something closer to an FBI clue board, with flashcards and chemistry notes strewn on every possible surface. Wilbur had retired to bed after reviewing his Calculus notes one last time, and Tommy was spending the night at Tubbo��s. Phil leaned against the doorway and watched his son coach his best friend through the last few chapters of the textbook with a smile on his face.

“Make sure not to go to sleep too late! You need enough sleep for your final!” he called, retreating up the stairs.

Y/N checked their watch and sighed at the time. “I should get going soon.” they mumbled, beginning to collect their notes.

“Stay the night” suggested Technoblade, pulling a blanket over their shoulders to protect them from the December chill that seemed ever-present, even with the crackling fireplace illuminating the room. 

“I can’t-” A yawn cut their sentence “I can’t stay, I don't have anything and I’ve wasted enough of your time already”

Technoblade took them by the shoulders and looked them in the eyes, albeit having to lean down. “You can never waste my time”

Shivers ran through Y/N’s tired body and they offered him a weak smile.

He plucked the pen that was hanging from their mouth out and feigned disgust as he wiped it on their shirt, before throwing it in the pile of stationary by his feet.

“How about you stay for a hot chocolate?”

The invitation was too hard to resist so they gave in, as long as it was “only ten more minutes”.

Technoblade filled two mugs from the pot of the beverage that Phil had left on the stove, and topped it with marshmallows and whipped cream.

Y/N took the mug from him with a ‘thank you!’, and led the way back to the living room to nestle under the warmth of the fireplace. The pair were both exhausted from the day of studying, and chose to sip their beverages in silence. Before either of them knew it, they were both asleep under Y/N’s blanket, cuddled up against the cold of the night.

---

They woke up to the banging of Wilbur running down the stairs. 

“Shit, you two are still asleep?”

Y/N jumped up, knocking over their empty mug in the process. “Fuck, what time is it?” they asked, urgently rummaging around for their bag.

“8:00”

“What time is your final?” grumbled Technoblade, still half-asleep with no intention to get up until his final later that day.

“8:20” they whined, almost breaking down. 

“Hey, it’s fine, go get clothes from my room, take anything you want. I’ll drive you.” said Technoblade in a calming voice.

Y/N looked at him with desperate eyes and thanked him before retracing the familiar path to his bedroom.

Technoblade cracked his back and followed Wilbur into the kitchen, intending to make Y/N a nutritious breakfast and pack them a lunch, but was met with Wilburs smirking face.

“What’s the deal?” said Technoblade in his monotonous low, pulling things from out of the fridge.

“Are we going to ignore that you and Y/N slept together?”

“Gross you perv, we just fell asleep studying”

Wilburs smart-ass response was cut off by the arrival of the person in question, clad in one of Technoblades sweaters and sweatpants and ripping their fingers through their hair to attempt to tame it.

Technoblade ignored the all-too-familiar flutter of his heart at seeing them in his clothes and handed them a yogurt bowl he put together. “Let’s go, you can eat it in the car.”

They definitely broke laws driving at breakneck speed, but they pulled into the school parking lot at 8:15 and jumped out of the car, Technoblade following them to make sure they made it to the Chemistry classroom on time. With a minute and a half to spare, they arrived at the door to the classroom, earning a sigh of relief from both of them. 

Dr. Yachtrong ushered Y/N into the classroom, but not before Technoblade placed a kiss on their forehead and wished them good luck. They entered the classroom in a daze, which they quickly shook off when the tests were passed out.

---

The final bell rang for the day and the cheers rang around the school, drowning out the crunchy loudspeaker announcements to “have a good Christmas” and to “make good decisions”. Y/N had headed off to their last few classes following the Chemistry final, which had gone as good as one could expect a Chemistry exam to go. They were fairly sure they had passed which at this point, was a major win. As they left the History hallway, they saw their friend Karl leaving the art classroom. 

“Karl!” they waved him down.

“HEY! Y/N!!!” he giggled excitedly “Schools out!”

“I know!”

Excited chatter filled the hallways and they bumped into Sapnap, Punz, and Dream leaving the weights room. 

“How was your weightlifting final?” snickered Y/N

Punz answered with a slight push to their head. The group was shot out at the front courtyard, where almost all of their other friends were waiting.

The celebratory mood was punctuated by Karl inviting everyone over for an “Epic School Sucks Party” at his house later that night.

Y/N looked around, searching for the pink-haired man that had been flooding their thoughts more than usual lately.

He had been acting differently, nervous even, since the day they fell asleep on him at the park. Y/N was only scared last night's incident would make it worse.

“He’s probably finishing up his Latin stuff” murmured Wilbur, leaning down to their ear.

Y/N’s ears burnt a bright red upon knowing that Wilbur knew who they were looking for. They looked up to answer, but he had already gotten immersed in a conversation with Quackity and George. 

The man in question came out of the front doors of the building and made a beeline for their cluster of people upon seeing them. Y/N couldn’t help but admire the cuffs he wore on his slightly pointed ears, and the way his long pink hair fell behind his-

“Oi Y/N is that Technoblades sweater?”

Screw you Minx

“Y/N spent a surprise night over last night” snickered Wilbur, wiggling his eyebrows.

“It's. Not. Like. That.” screeched Y/N, punctuating each word with a smack to Wilbur, somewhat drowned in the laughs and gasps of everyone in their group.

“Why are we hitting Wilbur and can I join?” asked Technoblade once he integrated himself into the tangle of people. The laughs hushed as everyone turned to look between Y/N and Technoblade.

“What?”

-----

The heat of Niki’s curling iron sent warm shivers down Y/N’s neck, a grateful contrast to the harsh December chill plaguing the outdoors. She blew gently on the warm hair before letting it all fall back, tousling it to break up the curls.

“Thanks Niki!” said Y/N gratefully, examining themselves in the mirror. “You’re going to have to teach me how to do this someday.”

Niki laughed, already standing in front of the bathroom mirror to apply her eyeliner. With one eye closed, she spoke to the person now standing behind her, checking their outfit from different angles. 

“So really, what’s going on between you and Technoblade?”

She knew of their intense crush on the pink-haired boy, which had started somewhere between 8th grade and freshman year, but she also knew that Y/N tended to be more closed off about their deep personal life.

Y/N sighed, almost in disappointment. “Nothing. And that’s the problem.”

Due to Niki’s sympathetic look thrown their way, they fell down a rabbit hole of ranting which led them to where they were now; on the floor beside Niki’s bed with Y/N’s head in her lap.

“He always acts so weird around me. One minute he’s  holding my hand or kissing my forehead, and the next he won't even look at me, or only answers in short sentences. And it stresses me out because I think he hates me, but then he does shit like buying me books just to go read in a forest with him, or staying up all night with me to study for my Chemistry final, and I just-” They took a deep breath, containing their rambling.

“I just get more confused.”

----------

 Karls party was in full swing by the time Niki and Y/N got there. They were met at the door by Sapnap and Quackity, who for some reason were handcuffed to each other, and were both giggling and flushed. Y/N and Niki hung their coats on the rack by the door and walked into the festive atmosphere of the house, seeing familiar faces in every corner.

Despite the rowdy environment and the deafening noise, the party was relatively small, consisting of only 20 or so of Karls friends.

They followed Quackity and Sapnap into the living room where a semi-circle of people was lounging on various couches, passing around a blunt and playing what seemed to be truth or dare.

Ah. That’s where the handcuffs came from.

Niki and Y/N decided to play, Niki offering to go fetch them both drinks in the kitchen as Y/N found their place in the circle. To their surprise, Technoblade was there, seemingly uninterested in the game and more invested in something he was doing on his phone. Upon seeing Y/N, he gave them a smile, cheeks flushed with alcohol, and gestured to the small spot between him and the couch armrest. All eyes followed Y/N as they perched on the armrest, mumbling a small ‘hi!’ to Technoblade.

Niki returned with two drinks in hand and shared a knowing glance with Y/N, as well as a miniscule smile, before handing them their drink and taking a seat on a cushion next to Jack and Minx.

“Okay okay, In honor of our new guests arriving, Y/N, truth or dare?” 

Y/N knew by the looks everyone was giving them that choosing truth would not be the best option.

“Dare.”

A small sigh of disappointment left Karls lips before a mischievous light came into his eyes and he perked up again. “I dare you to sit in Technoblade’s lap”

Snickers echoed across the group as Technoblade looked up at the sound of his name. He looked up to where Y/N was balancing themself on the edge of the couch, and with some burst of courage, that was probably induced by the alcohol, he wrapped his arm around their waist to tug them into his lap with a squeak of surprise.

After recovering from their initial embarrassment, Y/N turned to the man whose lap they were in. “Techno, truth or dare?”

He huffed but quietly breathed out “Truth”, suddenly very aware of how close their face was to his. After a few brief seconds of eye contact which seemed to last an eternity, they stuttered out

“Umm, do you,- actually, how did, how did they get you to play? This game... I mean?”

“BOO! WHAT A BORING FOOKIN QUESTION!” called Minx from the cushion she was on.

His response of how he didn’t mean to get dragged in to this “stupid middle schoolers game” was slightly slurred as he took a big chug of whatever liquid was floating around his red solo cup.

This worried Y/N. They never saw Technoblade drink more than enough to get him slightly tipsy, but they brushed it off on end-of-the-semester excitement. In any case, they would confront him when they got the opportunity to talk to him alone.

---

Said opportunity arose after the Pizza arrived, and most people began to file into Karls movie room to watch whatever garbage show he decided on running. Y/N stayed back, intending to have full access to the pizza and Technoblade, noticing this, stayed with them. Y/N hopped up onto a counter and pulled the pizza boxes to them.

“Hey Tech?”

“Heh?”

“Are you okay? I haven't seen you drink this much before?” they asked, running a concerned hand through his hair before pressing it to his forehead to check how hot he was.

His eyes closed and he nuzzled into their touch.

“I guess I’m just nervous.”

“Nervous? What do you have to be nervous about? It’s winter break” they answered, a small smile on their beautiful face.

This was his chance.

“I have to start applying for colleges.”

Fuck, he missed it.

-----

The food brought a new bought of energy to everyone at the party, and by 3 in the morning, the celebration was still heavy in the air. Everyone thanked whatever brought Karl’s parents to buy a house far removed from any close neighborhoods, so the noise wouldn’t earn them a police visit.

Loud music blared from the speakers in the living room, which had been cleared of furniture to make space for the energetic teenagers.

Y/N took turns dancing with Niki, Minx, and Jack before being stolen away by Sapnap who spun them around until they almost threw up. Eventually, Y/N ended up on the outskirts of the dancefloor, where they saw their favorite apathetic pig-boy leaning against a corner, snickering at everyone who was embarrassing themselves in their drunken haze. 

“WANNA DANCE?” asked Y/N leaning towards him to enunciate over the music.

How could he say no? When they were looking up at him with those big, bright eyes and a slight sheen of sweat over their face.

-----

The party began to dissipate nearing the hours of dawn. Around 5, people began trickling out. Except for the select few who had decided to just crash with Karl.

Technoblade and Wilbur parked a little ways away from their house, walking the rest of the way and ushering each other up the tree by Wilburs bedroom to sneak back in. 

It was locked.

“You dimwit, didn’t you unlock the window?”

“Of course I did you arse, where do you think I snuck out from?”

Their bickering was interrupted by a small tap on the glass by none other than a smirking Tommy. 

“Leave it to him to only wake up when he wants to annoy us”

“Tommy, let us in.”

Tommy made a rubbing motion with his index finger and thumb. Looking at Wilbur and sighing, Technoblade pulled his wallet out and held up a 10. 

Tommy made a ‘more’ motion

20. Then 40. Then 50.

“So generous of you lads, come on in!” he giggled, snatching the money from his brother and leaving the window open for the two to clamber in awkwardly.

Technoblade snuck back into his room, stripping off his sweaty clothes and falling onto the mattress. Before he blacked out, he saw two notifications come in.

BitchBur: I took these pictures tn, thought u might want them ;) (8 images attached)

And

Y/N <3: I hope you figure out the college situation! <3 let me know if you can hang out sometime :D

He opened Wilburs text to find a collection of candid pictures Wilbur had snapped over the course of the night. One of Y/N in his lap, a few of them laughing together over pizza, a few of them on the dance floor, and what had to be his favorite: a picture of them kissing his cheek as a ‘good luck’ for his arm wrestle with Dream.

A smile creeped onto his face and he felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for his brother. He set the last picture as his wallpaper before turning off his phone and falling into a realm of blackness.

SPRING------------------

“That was my very last AP Exam!” exclaimed Y/N, walking through the door of the coffee house where all their friends were lounging. 

The small shop erupted with cheers as they celebrated everyone finishing their school year. The cheers eventually died out, though, as the realization sunk in. Tomorrow was graduation.

The seniors in the group, Wilbur, Technoblade, Minx and Fundy were all going off to college. 

Wilbur to England, Fundy to the Netherlands, and Minx to Ireland. The one person who hadn’t decided on a college yet was Technoblade.

“Why do you all have to leave the country?” whined Y/N.

A chorus of similar sentiments left the other juniors who were scattered around a few tables that had been pushed together. 

As the conversation descended into dorms and expenses, Y/N received a text from Technoblade. The shock of the ‘ding’ made the pen that had been balancing between their lips clatter onto the floor.

Apathetic pig-boy: come outside

Y/N looked around, not having noticed that Technoblade had disappeared from the table. Taking advantage of the conversation everyone else was immersed in, they quietly snuck out, but not without avoiding Wilburs keen eyes, which narrowed upon realizing his brother was not at the table.

They wandered outside, finding Technoblade sitting at one of the outdoor tables covered by the awning. 

“My Yale email came in.” he said as soon as he saw them walk outside.

They jumped with barely contained joy. “What did it say?”

“I wanted you to be here when I opened it.”

Everyone knew that Technoblades dream college was Yale. He had talked about it ever since he was a little kid, screaming about Greek mythology on the school playground. Y/N knew that it was Technoblades biggest ambition to study literature at one of the most renowned colleges in the world, but they still felt a twinge of sadness. On top of losing half their friends, they couldn’t lose the one person that meant the most to them too.

“Open it!”

Y/N leaned against the back of Technoblades chair, almost falling over his shoulder as they watched the loading icon on the college’s website.

Technoblade clicked on the notification and they both read it together

Congratulations! We are glad to inform you…

“THAT YALE UNIVERSITY HAS DECIDED TO ACCEPT YOUR APPLICATION! TECH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!” Screamed Y/N, wrapping their arms around his shocked figure. They placed a million kisses all over his face, gushing about how proud they were of him, ignoring the gut wrenching feeling inside of them.  

“What’s the screaming about? Did you two finally get together?” Asked Wilbur as the group flooded out of the coffee shop to see what the commotion was about. 

“Yale accepted me.” mumbled Technoblade, just loud enough for them to hear.

The cheers that followed his announcement almost made their small hometown collapse. Congratulations were exchanged and backs were pat, and in the mess, Y/N managed to sneak off to the side. The only person who noticed was Niki, who followed them to the corner of the parking lot where they were kicking at the asphalt with their converse. She sat down, and the two rested in silence, the April wind blowing their hair all over the place.

“He’s leaving.” He’s leaving me. They wanted to say, but they didn't.

Niki gave her friend a small side hug, somehow interpreting the sentence accurately. “He’s pursuing his dreams Y/N, you know he doesn’t want to leave you.”

“How do I make him stay? It’s selfish and I’d feel like a bitch but Niki I don’t think I can live without him.”

“Y/N.”

“Hmm?”

“You need to tell him how you feel.”

----

The next day brought sunny skies and the enthusiastic atmosphere of graduation. They had all managed to snag themselves some graduation tickets to see their friends finish high school.

Jack, Niki, and Y/N were sitting in a Wendy’s parking lot, waiting for the clock to hit 11:45 so they could start making their way to school. It seemed empty without the Seniors of the group, as they were all at school getting ready for the ceremony. Y/N voiced this concern aloud, to which Jack responded, “We’ll have to get used to it. This is how it’s going to be next year.”

And the three fell into silence, sullenly dipping their fries into their frostys.

----

Jack, Niki, and Y/N let themselves be jostled into school with the crowds of emotional parents and kids who were already bored of the event. They found decent seats, near the front aisle and set their belongings down. 

Not a moment later, they were greeted by Philza, who filed in with the rest of the boys extended family to sit beside them. 

The dimming of the lights led to hushed whispers erupting from the previously rowdy crowd. 

Procedure came and went, the salutatorian and valedictorian giving their respective addresses to the crowd, the speech of the somewhat bored principal, and finally, 

“Without further ado, presenting the Graduating Class of 2021!” 

Cheers erupted from the crowd as names began to be called. 

Within the first five minutes, the boredom began to set in and Jack began a game pigeon game, which Phil demanded to be added to. The four played the digital card game until they were pulled out of their concentration by a familiar name being called. They erupted into cheers as Fundy walked across the stage to pick up his diploma and shake the Principal’s hand. The process was repeated until Minx, her eyes shining as she shook the principal's hand earnestly, then flipped him off quickly behind his back, which sent the auditorium into a fit of laughter.

Person after person was called up, until...

“Technoblade Minecraft”

Philza almost cried. He stood on his chair, screaming in excitement for his son which made the boy in question flush as he collected his diploma and took a rather rushed leave off the stage, but not before seeing the heart that Y/N made with their fingers in his direction.

The same general act happened  during Wilburs announcement, except that he laughed and gave his dad a cheering motion with his hands.

---

The group spilled out onto the lawn of the school, congratulating people they knew when they saw them. Technoblade and Wilbur joined their family, receiving hugs from a very emotional Tommy. Y/N, Niki, and Jack waited behind for their friends to finish up with their families before tackling them in hugs. Screams and whoops came from the puddle of people on the floor, everyone yelling things to each other. The atmosphere was charged with happiness, and relief, and one couldn’t help but feel elation despite the bittersweet nature of graduation.

“Alright mates, party at my house!” boomed Philza over the noise.

The infamous graduation party. They had planned the two-part party in middle school, when they had had their first sleepover at the group's “hub”, aka Philza’s house. Since then, the party had become a reality and the first part would be executed tonight. The next being, of course, when the remaining half of the group graduated.

A marquis was set up in Phil’s garden, now uncluttered and full of spring blossoms. It was such a different atmosphere than it had been last summer, when their bonfires would stretch out into the early hours of the morning.

Food laden tables were scattered around the marquis, and to everyone's delight, a chocolate fountain rested on one of them.

After collecting food and gifts from various guests, the group found themselves sitting under the shade of a large tree with a rickety old treehouse balancing on it, which Tommy and Tubbo were attempting to devise a plan to get into with the help of their friend Ranboo, who didn’t seem as enthusiastic about the idea as the others.

“My flight leaves next week.” sighed Minx, leaning against Niki’s shoulder.

“I’ll be out of here by July the latest” 

“Phil’s taking us to London next week and I’ll just be staying”

Everyone turned to Technoblade to reveal when he would be leaving for college. 

“I’m going to Connecticut a week before the beginning of the term”

“So how long will you be home this summer?” Y/N asked, setting down their cookie.

“Between travelling and dorm set-up, I’ll probably only be here for about two weeks total.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears as they pushed their head into Technoblades chest. 

“I just-” sniffle “I just can’t believe you’re all leaving!” they cried, muffled by Technoblades button down.

This sent everyone into a fit of tears as they all began hugging each other for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

The moment was interrupted by Phil, who came out of the house with a camera and various props. Encouraging everyone to gather around and take pictures. Everyone scuffled around to fix their disheveled appearances and began making their way to Phils makeshift photo booth.

“Tech- wait!” called Y/N, pulling him back by the forearm. “Your hair”

They put pressure on his shoulders to get him to lean down so that they could fix his stray hairs. 

Right then, looking at the way Y/N’s shoes sank into the ground and feeling their light touch in his hair, he decided. I have to tell them. This is my last chance.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“I-” deep breaths, “I need you to-”

“Come on, lovebirds get in the picture!” called Phil, walking over to drag them to where everyone else was. 

Y/N gave him an apologetic look, woven with the silent promise of later.

Damnit Dad.

----

The pictures had lasted what felt like eons, but between the corny props and the harsh afternoon sunlight, they held valuable memories.

But Technoblade had no interest in them at the moment, as he dragged Y/N behind the trunk of the tree they had sat at before.

The sunlight filtering through the leaves made Y/N’s face all that much more beautiful, and Technoblade struggled to tear his attention away to focus on telling them. He gathered up his courage and opened his mouth to speak.

But the only thing that came out was “OW!”

As a pinecone bonked off his head and rolled away on the ground, leaving chips of it in his hair. 

“Look out below!” Called Tubbo from somewhere above them. So they managed to get in. Damnit.

Y/N took his hand and led him to the other side of the tree, away from the boys’ field of destruction. They sat down gently, pulling Technoblade down with them to pluck the pieces of pinecone out of his hair.

“Here. Distraction free! Now tell me what you’ve been trying to say because there’s something I need to tell you too.”

That gave Technoblade the perfect opportunity to gather his nerves. “You go first”

“No, it’s fine you!”

“No you go!”

It seemed as if the stars had collided and sent out particles so many eons ago with the knowledge that everything would lead up to these two kids coming to the same conclusion at the same time. 

“I love you”

“I love you”

Their eyes met as they stared, wide-eyed and gaping-mouthed at each other. Overcoming the initial shock, they began to ramble.

“I didn’t think you felt the same way because you always got quiet around me and then you woul-”

“Can I kiss you?” Technoblade interrupted them, not really hearing their rambling through the buzz going through his brain.

They nodded shyly in response as he wrapped his hand around the back of their neck to pull them dizzyingly, tauntingly closer. He looked into their eyes one more time to make sure they were serious, but Y/N was already closing the gap between their lips. They hoisted themselves into his lap and gripped his hair to bring him impossibly closer.

But alas, in this group of people, nothing goes unnoticed or undisturbed.

“EW! TECHNO’S KISSING Y/N!” screamed Tommy from the balcony of the treehouse which resulted in whoops and cheers from everyone at the party.

“FINALLY!” yelled someone amongst the crowd. 

Y/N felt their ears burn a bright red as they buried their face into Techno’s neck.

“Yeah Y/N! Get some!”

“Oh fuck off!”

A/N: i hope u guys liked it :D, also this is my first time writing with they/them pronouns so if i made a mistake pls don’t hesitate to correct me!

[twinklelilstarkey]

we need a part 2 of theater when they get to rafes house please😳

The Aftermath

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Female!Reader x Topper Thornton 

Words: 5k+

Warnings: 18+ IF YOU ARE A MINOR, DO NOT READ THIS!! Smut. Threesome. Polly relationship. Oral (m and f receiving) and unprotected sex. Fingering. Consensual oral while asleep. DEGRADATION and Praising. Mentions of bodily fluids. Spanking. Overstimulation. And, lastly, crying (over pleasure, of course).

DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORK!

This can be read separately, but if you’re interested this is kinda the part 1 (Theater).

When the movie ended, you all do has promised and go to Rafe’s house. But here’s the catch: you needed to go back to the island, so you all caught the ferry back there.

On the way there, you would be lying if you said that you didn’t start getting tired. And the guys understood it. You had just done a test in the morning and had a whole day of classes, and... your little action in the cinema just helped with tiring you out.

In Rafe’s car, after the ferry back to the island, you blacked out in the passenger seat right after he started driving. And to the boys’ surprise, Rafe’s dad was home. Everything was lining up for a very boring rest of your day and night.

Topper woke you up and helped you go upstairs while Rafe made small talk with his dad in the living room.

To his relief, his dad was planning on leaving to go join the rest of the family in their small dinner out and have the night over with his close friends back in Chapel Hill. 

Topper made you strip out of your jeans so you’re more comfortable and threw you some of Rafe’s shirts from the ground right before he came back downstairs to check if everything was good with Rafe.

You, half asleep, did forget what you were doing almost 3 times while changing clothes. And as soon as your face hit Rafe’s pillow, you were out like a light. Again.

Topper joined in the conversation with Rafe’s dad, acting as if you and him were just there to hang out and not actually spend the night. 

Ward went with the conversation, believing the boys’ words, and without even a slight hint of suspicion, he walked out of the house.

Rafe and Topper made sure to see him drive away before making their way upstairs. 

Finding you asleep wasn’t surprising at all to them. So they just let you sleep and decided to just play video games. They’re still Rafe and Topper, after all.

Hours later, they were getting tired as well. So Rafe make you scoot over and you all went to sleep.

(...)

At 5am straight, Topper is wide awake. Not only because you all forgot to close the curtains, which makes the sun peak with all its force inside the room, but also because he feels horny as all hell.

Your head is resting over Rafe’s shoulder and, before Topper had pulled back, you were holding one of his hands close to your chest.

The shirt you’re wearing is baggy but he can see your nipples against the smooth material as you move around, sometimes even move a little.

He lays his hand over your hip and he almost moans at the fact that he doesn’t feel the side of your underwear.

He’s so hard that he almost feels like he’s in pain, and, believe it or not, all he wants to do is ask for a little help. But at the same time, he really doesn’t want to wake up both you and Rafe because of how peacefully you two look while sleeping.

He presses sweet kisses over your exposed neck and his hand travels from your hip to your tummy. He brushes his hand over your skin lightly and, over the room being so silent, he can almost hear the sound of his skin brushing over yours.

Without much seconds later, Topper, not even thinking twice, he brings his hand down to your pussy.

His fingers ghost over your lips, as he sometimes steals glances from you and Rafe, just to see if any of you look like you’re about to wake up.

He parts your legs slightly, squeezing the smooth skin of your thighs as he does it, and with just his middle finger, he drags it all down your folds.

You breathe in loudly at the sudden feeling and he looks up stopping his hand, slightly scared over hearing you.

His finger travels down to your entrance and he could already feel you slowly getting wet. He grins down at the view and starts moving his finger around, bringing your juices up and all around the rest of your pussy.

His finger finally meets your already slightly engorged clit and as he brushes over it a few times, he smiles while you let out a small moan.

He looks back up at you, your face is holding a frown over what you’re feeling, and he lays one last kiss over you, this time over your shoulder.

He goes under the blankets that cover everyone’s lap without a second thought and is quick to turn you slightly so that your hips can rest over the mattress as he spreads your legs further.

He plants a kiss over the inside of your thigh, and without wasting any more time, he spreads your lips and lands a perfect soft kiss over your clit.

You squirm at the feeling of his soft lips and he covers your clit with his lips, sucking it lightly into his mouth. 

You wake up from your deep sleep, eyes half open as they blink over the harsh lighting, and tingles run down your body.

A involuntary moan escapes your mouth and you look away from the ceiling confused as you try to understand what is going on.

You fidget a little as pleasure starts taking all over your body and making heat rise up to your face and chest. You open your eyes completely this time and move the covers away from your lap.

And God, the sight just makes you smile and let out a loud sigh.

“Good morning” Topper whispers onto you.

You gasp at the feeling of cold air coming impacting your wet lips right as he pulls away and you let a small whine escape your mouth, already missing his touch.

Your right hand moves to rest over the top of his head, letting your fingers cling onto his hair in desperation and Topper goes back to do what he was doing before.

He presses a harsher kiss over your clit and you bite your lip as you smile, looking up at the ceiling. He licks his way down to your entrance and you moan as he threatens to push it in.

You almost can’t believe what’s going on. It’s like you’re in a dream.

Completely lost in the moment, you grip onto whatever is on your left, which is actually Rafe, who still looks like he’s asleep. Your fingers cling onto his shirt as you look back at Topper.

You let out a loud moan as he starts sucking you all over again. Your breathing is heavy and your chest is rapidly going up and down.

“Fuck” you whisper in disbelief.

You cling onto Topper’s hair as he moves back down at your entrance and you whine out loud as his nose touches your clit.

“Gosh... Topper” You sigh, making him smile against you.

As the pleasure intensifies, you feel him push in his two fingers. 

You let out another moan, this time way more high pitch that you expected, and he starts to lay kisses all over your lips, while his fingers move slowly into you.

Rafe moves a bit next to you and you honestly just want to wake him up completely at this point. You really don’t want him to miss any of this.

Your hand lets go of his shirt from a bit as Topper repositions himself, and you lift it with a smile.

Rafe’s tan abs are exposed to everyone in the room and you can’t help but run your hand through them. Your touch over the small bumps makes him tense up under you, and you lick your lips with a smile.

God, your boys are so beautiful.

You run your nail over one of the lines and your fingers ghosts his happy trail.

Topper’s lips and fingers go back to work and you sigh loudly as the pleasure starts coming back to you without any warning.

Your fingers continue to play over Rafe’s skin, hopefully, to encourage to wake him up, and your fingers move from down his v-line. 

You let out a loud moan as Topper starts sucking your clit intensely again and your hand stops moving over Rafe.

Your toes curl as pleasure runs freely through you and your nails sink into your still sleeping boyfriend’s side, as the other pulls the hair of your other beautiful man.

Rafe lets out a groan and Topper looks up at you two. You smile at each other and you look up to see Rafe slowly waking up. Also blinking his sleep away.

As you’re about to reach for his face, your other boy has other ideas.

“Shit, baby” You moan in a giggle, looking back down at Topper, as he curves his fingers while speeding up his thrusts.

You throw your head back in pleasure on Rafe’s shoulder while Topper’s lips go back to your clit and you cant help but cry out as your climax starts to built up.

Rafe wakes up completely at the sound of you moaning and the feeling of your head still over his shoulder, and as he looks down at you, his eyes see you being eaten out by Topper.

You look over at him and you smile as his eyes stay glued over your lower naked body. He looks back at your face as you open your mouth to talk, but you just close your eyes, hissing a few times and letting small involuntary sounds.

“Good morning, handsome” You manage to say playfully, holding your moaning back with the best of your ability, making a smile appear over your boyfriends’ faces.

Still sleepy, Rafe snuggles his face into your hair and looks down at Topper having his way with you at 5 in the morning.

Rafe grabs the middle of your shirt without a word and pulls it up, exposing your naked chest in the cold room and to all of your eyes.

His hands fly to your breasts and you sigh at the feeling of the all familiar four hands touching you.

Rafe pinches your nipple between his two fingers and smiles against your ear as you gasp in that same second.

Topper sucks your clit harder as Rafe pinches both of your nipples in his hands and you throw back your head, again, in a loud moan. You are so close, it’s driving you insane.

“Are you close, baby?” Topper asks you, pulling his mouth away as he licks his lips.

You nod and Rafe presses a kiss on your temple.

“Yeah, fuck... Ah... I’m so close” You manage to answer.

“Come for us, baby” Rafe encourages in your ear, “Do it”

With that, Topper speeds up the movement of his fingers and is able, in seconds, to drive you over the edge.

You moan loudly, eyes rolling back to your head and toes curling as you bring your legs up over how intense everything felt. Your hands keep on grasping Topper’s hair and Rafe’s side in desperation.

Rafe kisses your throat as you expose it to them while throwing your head back, and you melt into him as you calm down.

Topper stops his movements and slowly pulls his fingers out. He leans and lays over your body while holding himself up with an arm.

Both yours and Rafe’s eyes are fixated on him.

He brings his fingers up to you, absolutely dripping with your cum. Rafe pulls away from your throat and let’s put an involuntary moan as you take them into your mouth.

They both stare intensely as you lick and suck Topper’s fingers clean, and you make sure to lick them as best as you can.

As he pulls them away, Rafe is the first to grab your chin and turn your head to him. You smile and lean in, kissing him. Your lips move right in sync as his tongue touches yours.

He can taste your juices in your tongue, and he almost moans again at the taste of them.

You pull away and smile up at Topper as he does the same, laying a kiss on your lips. You lean back in further, letting his tongue battle yours and now taste both you and Rafe on your lips.

He pulls back and moves to sit on back on his knees, ready for the next segment.

You sit up and strip your shirt off of you, seeing that it’s nothing but useless now, and the boys’ eyes follow you.

Rafe bites his lip while staring at your ass and Topper looks down at your boobs, almost as if he was looking at a forbidden fruit.

You lay a quick kiss on Topper’s lips and that makes him give you one of his infamous smirks.

“Ass up, baby” Rafe says from behind you, making you smile as well, “You know the drill”

You turn completely to Rafe and do as told as he sits up against the headboard. You go in all fours, resting over your elbows as both of your boys start taking their clothes off.

You almost drool at the sight of Rafe’s hard cock and he notices, smiling down at you. He adjusts his sitting in front of you and you gasp at the sudden feeling of Topper’s tip right at your entrance.

You plant a kiss over Rafe’s hip and his hands start gathering all of your hair in his palm. You hide your smile against his skin but everything is cut short as Topper enters you completely in one thrust.

You cough out a moan and the boys let you a chuckle.

You blink your pleasure away as he starts moving and you eye Rafe over your eyelashes as you start laying kisses at his base.

He smirks down at you and he hisses as you lick one of his balls, a smile ghosting his face.

“Fuck, princess, I always forget how tight you are” Topper says from behind you and you clench at his words.

You don’t waste any more time and take Rafe’s tip into your mouth. You lick the precum first and take it in.

Rafe’s hand, right away, tightens in your hair and you start taking more of him in. You try to focus on relaxing your throat as you move down and he bites his lip as you do it.

Topper grips your hips as he starts to go balls deep in you. He looks over at Rafe and sees you take his cock like it’s nothing.

His boyfriend’s face twists in pleasure as you start bobbing your head over him and he smiles at them.

He speeds up from behind you as you clench around him and Rafe smiles as you moan around him.

“You’re taking us so good, baby” Rafe comments, “Fuck...” He sighs, “Our own little slut”

You clench against Topper at the nick name and you let out a little whine.

He nods and forces your head slightly closer to his pelvis. You relax your jaw and let him take control, just like any other time.

Topper grips your ass in his hands as it jiggles with his thrusts and decides to change his pace. He speeds up slightly and brings his hand over to your clit, almost making you scream around Rafe.

You moan as he starts circling it and Rafe pulls your mouth off him.

You moan out loud, almost making the boys’ ears buzz, and you lower your head to take Rafe’s balls into your mouth.

“Jesus Christ, baby. Look at you” Rafe says in a moan, “So dirty- my baby”

You smile at him as you moan and look over your shoulder to check on Topper.

The boy curses as goes in deeper in you and you bite your lip as you eye him.

They’re so hot, it’s not even fair.

Topper’s abs tense up every time he thrusts in you and you look back at Rafe, who is staring right at the boy as well.

You take him back in your mouth while he’s distracted and Topper looks up to find Rafe’s eyes.

The two of them gasp in pleasure while sharing a look and a smile plays over each of their faces.

Topper starts to feel the familiar flames built up on his lower abdomen and he groans.

“Fuck, I’m so close to coming, baby” Topper warns you.

You pull out Rafe’s cock and you’re breathing heavily, probably just as close. You look over at him and you smile.

“Come in me, baby, please” You tell him and both of the boys have the same reaction.

You move your hand over Rafe’s cock, up and down as you moan to encourage Topper into reaching his high. He looks down at your pussy as he sloppily thrusts in and he brings his hand back to your clit.

You moan loudly and Rafe lays a hand on the top of your back.

You squeeze him in your hand as you continue to move up and down and you look down as you’re right in the verge of cumming.

Topper thrusts in you a second time and you take the tip of Rafe’s cock in your mouth, trying to bring him over the edge as well.

The boys grunt as everyone speeds up and you’re the first one to fall apart. Rafe is next, and only a few thrusts later, it’s Topper.

The room falls silent and all you hear is their heavy breathing.

You look down at your hand and you lean in. You start licking all of Rafe’s cum off your hand and with half wooded eyes he stares down at you.

You start licking him clean as Topper pulls out of you, and he groans at the sight of the cum dribbling down your entrance.

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re going to make me hard again” Rafe warns and you smile, continuing to lick in, “You fucking whore. Ah- I love you”

His dick rises back to life slowly and you bring yourself up, biting your lip as you look at Rafe in the face.

He smirks and pecks your lips, you smile and he starts kissing you roughly, tasting himself in your mouth.

Topper stares at the two of you in awe.

“Do you think you still have another orgasm for me, baby?” Rafe asks against your lips.

“Always” You whisper.

He curses under his breath and looks over at Topper.

“What about you?” He asks with a playful smile, “Are you ready for round two?”

Topper smiles and rolls his eyes at him, almost as if his question sounded ridiculous. Rafe stands from in front of you and walks over to stand where Topper is.

You enjoy the silence and the vacant bed in front of you and grab the pillow closest to you, resting your bed over it.

The sound of kissing awakes you from your train of thought and you smile as you see your boys kissing each other. You’re so turned on just by seeing them, you’re about to explode.

You adjust your position as your knees start to hurt against the sheets and Topper pulls away from the kiss to look at you, making Rafe start kissing his jaw and neck, and he lets out a groan.

Rafe pulls away and follows his gaze.

“Fuck baby” Rafe curses from behind you.

“What?” You ask confused, resting your head in the pillow again.

“Your pussy looks so good” He comments and you giggle as the tingles go straight to your clit, making you move your hips as a reflex.

Topper goes around the bed to go where Rafe was previously sitting and you feel Rafe’s hand rest over your ass. His hand is harsher than Topper’s, his fingers are more calloused, but his touch is just as soft.

He grabs one of your cheeks harshly and you bite your lip at how rough he really is with everything. He surely does make a good contrast when coming in after Top.

As Top himself readjusts his sitting in front of you, Rafe takes a good look at your pussy. Topper’s cum is coming out of your entrance and oh, it looked so good.

He lets go of your ass and without any warning, presses his finger in your entrance. He pushes in and just by the sound of the wetness surrounding the room made him clench his jaw.

As he pulls out his finger, more cum dribbles down and you let out a small whine from your pillow.

“Please do something, Rafe” You plead as you look over your shoulder and he ignores you.

He stares at his cum layered finger and brings it down to your clit, using it to spread over you and start playing with your small little nub, all extended for some attention.

You let a small moan just by imagining what it all looks like and Rafe pulls his hand away. He wipes the cum off his finger on your inner thigh and Topper looks up at him as he does everything.

The boy that is sitting lays back on the bed, elbows holding himself up to be able to stare at everything and he smirks as he sees Rafe lean over.

You moan extremely loud at the sudden feeling of Rafe’s tongue over your pussy and can’t help but grind your hips closer to his face as he touches your overstimulated clit on accident.

Rafe, with no shame, cleans you off and when he pulls away, you’re left with a whole nothing but slight shock. He had never done that before.

He lines himself up at your entrance, still tasting all your juices and Top’s cum in his tongue, and he slides his tip in slowly.

Topper is hard again by just the sight of everything and the sound of your small little whimpers. They were just his last straw before feeling insanely horny all over again.

Your hand wraps around Topper’s cock as Rafe finally enters you fully. You whine as he doesn’t move for a bit, letting his hips rest over your ass, and you clench around him.

You take Topper’s cock into your mouth, tip grazing over your tongue as he goes in, and you don’t take long before you start bobbing your head up and down.

Rafe stares at you as you do it and finally starts moving behind you. Slowly, way slower than how he usually starts with, he thrusts into you while looking down at how good you’re taking him.

He leans in and starts pressing kisses over your back. Gentle small kisses over your skin, letting it react with the usual goosebumps. 

Topper’s hand rests over your head, pushing you slightly just a bit closer to his pelvis. And you take him all like a champ, even though your jaw really is starting to hurt.

Your nose grazes over his skin and Topper throws his head back as he feels it. His hand moves to your throat and he caresses it, almost as if he can feel himself in there.

“You’re so good” He whispers to you and you pull away a bit.

Your saliva dribbles down his tip as you completely away and you stare at it with half wooded eyes.

Your body rocks forward every time Rafe thrusts into you and your eyes are pleading to roll back in pleasure. Topper eyes you as you move forward and back and he bites his lip at the sight of your boobs jiggling.

You lay a kiss right next to his dick as it stands straight in your hand and you smile as Topper reacts almost as if he’s Rafe. He impatiently grabs your head and leans it to the side, so you actually go back to give what actually deserves attention.

Rafe speeds up his thrusts and his mind is going insane just by your sounds alone. The sloppy and wet sounds of your pussy as it takes him while he takes his sweet time to speed up.

The sound of a smack is heard over the room and you whimper as Rafe’s hand rests over your ass. He smiles at your cheek jiggles with the impact and does it again.

Topper smiles down as he sees his boyfriend having fun and you yelp as Rafe grips onto the sore skin. Rafe’s whole torso is shining with the morning light and the sheer layer of sweat that covers his whole body. 

The window next to him is just making him look even better just because of the lighting. His muscles contract with he thrusts in you but his face as just as relaxed as it was when he started.

You grab Topper’s attention by taking him back into your mouth and Rafe eyes you doing it. You grind your hips against Rafe’s and all he can do in return is start picking up his pace.

You fight your moans and start taking care of Topper with the best of your ability.

The familiar fire pulls strings at the bottom of your stomach, and you can’t help but tear up a little over how good it feels.

“You already got the water works going” Topper comments in a teasing tone to Rafe and the boy behind you just chuckles.

“Does it feel good, baby?” Rafe asks, “Does it feel good to have all our attention? Uh?”

You pull your mouth away from Top’s cock and moan a little. You try to get some words out, but it almost feels impossible, so you just nod.

Your hand pumps his member as you look over to stare at Rafe and he gives you one of his teasing smirks.

“You’re just our pretty little slut, aren’t you?” He asks as he speeds up, you nod, “Yeah, you are” He laughs.

You look back at Topper and he has his eyes closed and head thrown back. You pump him harder and faster and a small groan escapes his lips.

Rafe stares at him as he does it and he feels his cock pulse in you. You lean in when knowing how close he is and take his head into your mouth, ready to finish him off.

Topper cums with the sudden feeling of your lips and tongue and you moan as you feel him cum all over your mouth.

He breathes heavily as you pull him out and Rafe grabs you by the hair, pulling you back to him. You smile as you feel his chest rest over your back and Rafe’s hand rests under your jaw, tilting your head his way.

“Show me” He pleads and you open your mouth, showing some part of Top’s cum over your tongue.

Rafe rests his forehead against your cheek as he moans and you feel him pulsate in you. You look down at Topper as Rafe pounds into you and he’s staring, absolutely exhausted, but staring.

You swallow everything and rest your head back onto Rafe’s shoulder. He kisses your skin softly as he thrusts sloppily in you, and you cry out as you start getting close to your own orgasm.

“Fuck, Rafe. Right there” You whine and he repeats whatever he just did.

And in two thrusts, you let out the loudest moan of the whole morning. A smile appears over Topper’s tired face as you spasm a bit against Rafe, who still hasn’t even stopped moving.

You whine as you come down from your high and you almost scream when you feel a hand over your clit. You are so tired and overstimulated that you feel like your body is going to explode, again.

Rafe breathes heavily next to your ear and you open your eyes to see Topper right in front of you, playing with your clit with two of his fingers as you get pounded from behind.

You hold yourself up by his shoulders and he starts speeding up his circles around your clit as Rafe’s thrusts start getting sloppier and sloppier.

“I can’t do it, I can-” You moan as the pleasure starts getting way too much.

“You can, baby. We got you” Topper whispers back over the your sounds.

You breathe out as tears start to come up your eyes again, and you close your eyes. You’re so overstimulated that your body feels both pain and pleasure. You want them to stop but also to continue.

Rafe’s grunts make you open your eyes again and Topper speeds up even more, making you clench Rafe’s cock with everything in you.

You start screaming again, already letting your fourth orgasm get the best of you and Rafe grunts at a lower volume, also coming, all at the same time.

Your body erupts into what it feels like an explosion of every possible emotion, you moan, tears running down from your eyes and your hands grip onto Topper. 

You whine as you lay back as much as you can against Rafe and his heavy breathing is almost relaxing to you.

Topper pulls his hand away and falls back in bed. 

His eyes stay on you as you breathe heavily, all before you let out a chuckle.

“What are you laughing at?” Topper asks with a smile and you continue to giggle.

“I think we finally fucked her stupid” Rafe adds and you all start laughing.

He pulls out slowly and you look over your shoulder at him. Your smile already back on your face as he wipes the tears off your cheeks.

“It just felt so good” You answer.

Rafe gives you a sweet smile and lays a slow peck on your lips. You close your eyes at the softness of it and he lays another one just to make you even more happier.

“I’ll get something to clean you up” He says against your lips and you nod.

He walks away from you and you take that as an opportunity to lay on top of Topper, who is half asleep.

You rest your head over his chest and he wraps his arms around you.

“What time is it?” He asks and you look up at Rafe’s alarm clock.

“7″ You say, almost shocked at how fast time flew.

“Don’t you have school, today?”

“Yeah, but only at 10″ You answer.

Rafe comes back behind you and you sit up from Topper’s chest. Topper moves around in the bed to lay down right and rests his head over a pillow, not caring whose it is.

You gasp at the sudden contact of the lukewarm wet towel against your over sensitive skin and Rafe wipes you down. You lay back in bed as he does it and you admire the concentrated look on his face.

He brushes it carefully all over you and you whine at the sudden shock like feeling as it touches your clit.

“Sorry” He whispers.

He pulls back as you lay there clean and goes back in the bathroom.

You look over Topper to find him already asleep and you lay down next to him, on your side. You eye his peaceful features down and pull the blankets back over the two of you.

Rafe soon joins the bed behind you and and he pulls you in against his chest, spooning you as you continue to stare at Topper while laying kisses over your neck.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks just to make sure.

“Yeah” You answer.

He snuggles in behind you and you grab his free arm to hold it close to your chest. His hand rests under your face and hug his arm close to you.

Not even 3 minutes later, you all are back asleep.

Oof... Uhm, so... did I get possessed with something when I wrote this? I’m usually not that creative with any of this, but a bitch got *imagination* quick today.

Again, I’m not all that great with smut. I’m very new. I KNOW I NEED TO IMPROVE!

*I’ll proofread this again in a few days to see if I write anything better*

So, if you have any tips on how this could be better. Please, let me know!

[hookingminor]

right where you left me - mat barzal

a/n: oops blacked out and wrote something really angsty my bad

word count: 2.4k

summary: just listen to taylor swift’s right where you left me

warnings: this whole fic is about cheating read at your own discretion

part two

-

You could remember it vividly, the day Mat had left you in hopes of pursuing someone else.

He sat across from where you sat now, your favorite corner booth of a back alley diner that had become the spot where you two would escape to when the city life became too much. It was still located in the city, but without a car or driving an hour to get out of town, it was the only place of reprieve you could find.

You introduced it to him on your fourth date. It seemed Mat couldn’t go anywhere without someone noticing him, and as you walked with him through central park after seeing a movie at the theater, you could tell he was getting annoyed at the third time being stopped for a photo.

Despite being an Islander, the city still held many fans, and while Mat loved the attention most times, sometimes he wished for anonymity so he could just talk to you.

So, in hopes of easing his mind about being in the spotlight, you led him to the other side of the city (which was a near hour walk) to your secret hole-in-the-wall diner. As always, there were barely any patrons other than the occasional old couple on a date or rugged aged men sitting at the counter enjoying bland coffee and greasy burgers.

You led Mat to your booth, one you frequently occupied on Sundays when you brought your backpack and books and spent the whole day studying there. The waitress, Clarice, was a gray-haired woman well into her fifties who was also the one who served you every time you came in.

“Y/N, lovely to see you again,” Clarice said in her usual upbeat Southern accent. “Who do you have with you this time?”

“This is Mat,” you introduced, gesturing towards him, “It’s his first time here.”

“Oh!” She perked up and laid two menus on the table, “Well, first timers get a free basket of fries, so I’ll be back with those in a minute while you two decide.” Mat had picked up his menu and began looking it over, and you spotted Clarice behind his shoulder throwing you a saucy wink while also mouthing ‘He’s cute!’

That fourth date was spent giggling over three baskets of fries, mainly consumed by Mat, and a couple of pastrami melts that you swore to him were life changing. He told you it was one of the best sandwiches he’d ever eaten, and you didn’t know if he was lying for your sake or genuinely believed it, but he ordered it without fail every time you came back.

Ever since that day, you made it a regular thing to make it back to that diner. You still went on your Sundays, but the kitchen staff and Clarice soon got used to you bringing Mat along.

Even now, two years after that fateful night, you still came back. Even after Mat broke your heart, in your spot of all places, you couldn’t bring yourself to abandon the diner.

He hadn’t wanted to do it at the diner; he told you as much when he met up with you late one evening. Mat had tried to call you and asked you to come over, but you were stuck writing an essay and Mat was left with no choice. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin what you considered a safe space and hurt you more than he was already going to, but he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Things with the other girl had progressed even farther, but Mat couldn’t let anything happen in good conscience knowing he still had you waiting on him.

So he broke up with you.

You had blacked out after he opened his mouth for the first time that night. He fiddled with his thumbs for a few moments as he tried to compose what he was going to say, and you could immediately tell by his demeanor that whatever he said next, you weren’t going to like it.

The warm smile that always graced your face when you were near Mat fell instantly.

“We need to break up.”

Five words shattered your heart within a second, and everything after that seemed to pass in a haze.

You remembered Mat taking your hands in his as he tried to explain himself, but you couldn’t remember everything he said. Something about him meeting someone else, though he stressed that he did not cheat on you. You would have argued that an emotional affair was still an affair if you could’ve found the words, but you sat there with a blank expression on your face as he continued.

You were sure he told you how they met, but that wasn’t the part of his speech that hurt the most. What had killed you was hearing Mat say he didn’t want to hurt you, but he couldn’t keep up the facade anymore. There was something about her that made him feel a certain way; a way he hadn’t felt about you in a long time.

And that much was true. You were no longer in the honeymoon phase and you’d gotten comfortable, but you were still happy. Maybe even more happy now than you were when you met him. You just assumed Mat had been happy too.

Mascara had started to run down your cheeks, and it was then that you realized you were crying. The rest of his monologue continued with more apologies and that he owed it to himself to see where it would at least take him.

It could’ve been five minutes or five hours before Mat finished talking. You hadn’t spoken the entire time, but you calmly removed your hands from his as he took his last breath and wiped the tears from your face.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t enough for you,” were the words you left him with when you gathered your things and left him alone in the booth.

You were sorry that your relationship wasn’t strong enough to stand the test of outside forces. You were sorry that happiness and comfortability wasn’t enough to keep him content when it meant everything to you. You were sorry that you hadn’t done everything in your power to keep him interested, and you were even more sorry that he hadn’t talked to you about it before now.

What you had told him was that you were sorry it wasn’t enough for him, but what you really meant was that you were sorry you weren’t enough for him.

You cut everything off with Mat after that. No more hockey games or visits to the Island. No more calling Anders and Jordan when you were feeling homesick and wanting to feel the comfort of family by imposing on their family dinners. No more going shot for shot with Tito when you went out to bars. No more calling Sydney for relationship advice or fashion advice or life advice.

He could still be with the woman he left you for, though you didn’t know. Hell, he could even be married with kids. Mat was blocked on all forms of media that you had and you unfollowed everyone else. You didn’t need constant reminders that she could offer Mat something you couldn’t.

Clarice was shocked when you showed up to the diner a few weeks later after you had finally cried yourself out. If anything, you were numb now. The sight of the diner didn’t make your heart clench in sadness, and the pastrami melt didn’t make you burst into tears. Clarice was sympathetic, giving you a free milkshake the first day you came back. She told you things would get better and that she was sorry for you, but that’s about all she could do.

She kept it to herself, but she always thought it was a little masochistic that you chose to come back every week as if nothing had changed. Had it been her, Clarice would’ve never stepped foot back into this diner. The fries couldn’t have been that good.

Still, every Sunday without fail, you came in.

You were quieter after Mat, never joking with Clarice or the cooks or the old truckers at the counter like you used to. You closed yourself off from dating, never seeming to get over Mat no matter how much time had passed. In fact, you closed yourself off altogether. It wasn’t only at the diner where you existed as just a shell of yourself but everywhere else too.

You threw yourself into your studies, working on your Masters and ignoring everything sports related that happened in New York. Your roommates worried about your well-being and consistently tried to get you to go out, but you never did.

Sleep came fitfully the first few months. It just didn’t come as easily when you didn’t have Mat to hold you.

You shut down, to put it simply. It was a little ridiculous, even you could agree to that, but you still couldn’t shake him. Breakups happened all the time and others didn’t lose their way, but without Mat everything just felt lifeless.

Everyone thought it would pass, that you’d move on and find someone new or at least gain your old sense of self back, but you didn’t.

You still functioned healthily. You went to class, got enough sleep, ate three meals a day, even volunteered at the local shelter and helped TA other classes. You changed your hair, went to the gym regularly, got brunch with your roommates at least once a month, but your smile still never reached your eyes. You still weren’t you.

Two years after the breakup and nothing had changed. Your friends were starting to think Mat ruined you for good.

Another week passed and another Sunday rolled around, and you were at the same booth again. A pastrami melt sat in front of you, half-eaten, and the memories of how Mat used to finish his sandwich and then whatever portion of yours you couldn’t finish flooded back to you.

They were bittersweet memories, and as you reminisced, you sometimes forgot how much he hurt you. You liked to dwell on the good times, daydreaming out the window about better days with Mat, rather than remember all the pain he caused when he left.

It was a shitty thing to consider, but there was a deep part of you that knew you’d take him back if he asked. Even after all the embarrassment and heartbreak and nights spent sobbing into your pillow, you were willing to forget it all if Mat would have you again. Your head would probably step in and tell you not to, but your heart longed for it desperately.

You gathered your bag and threw a ten on the table, eight for your sandwich and two for the tip, before sliding out of the booth.

It was a chilly October day in the city, and you walked the long trek back to your apartment to enjoy the fresh air. The crisp wind sent your hair blowing in all directions, and you shoved your hands further in your pockets to shield them from the cold.

You stopped at a few bodegas on your way home to grab some last minutes groceries that you were running low on. The bakery was your last stop as you picked up some fresh bread and a few cheeses for wine night with your roommates.

As your hand reached for the wheel of Brie, you heard your name being called out.

“Y/N?” The husky voice said. In a million lifetimes, you didn’t think you’d ever be able to forget his voice.

“Mat,” you said, straightening your posture as if to create a defense for yourself.

“How are you?” He asked, and you forced yourself to meet his eyes. He looked good, great even. The dark strands of his hair were longer than when you last saw him, flopping gracefully over his forehead. There was a small cut on his cheek, presumably from hockey, but other than that he looked perfect. He wore a long, gray trench coat with a white turtleneck underneath, which was a stark contrast to your college sweatshirt and oversized fall jacket.

“I’m fine,” you answered with a small smile, “How are you?”

“Good,” he said quickly, “Team’s doing good.”

“I didn’t ask about the team, Mat, I asked about you,” you rolled your eyes, unable to stop your smile from widening.

Mat let his own lips quirk into that crooked smirk of his at your light jab. “No, yeah, I’m doing well too.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” you replied, and you genuinely meant it. However, you couldn’t help but notice that his left hand was free of any ring, somehow settling the roiling in your stomach. “Well, I have to get back home,” you said, holding out the baguette and cheeses.

“Bachelor night,” you both continued at the same time.

“Yeah, I remember,” Mat said.

“Yeah…” you trailed off, suddenly feeling too warm in your double layers. “It was nice seeing you, Mat.”

He told you the same and let you get on with your shopping.

It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would, seeing Mat again. His face sent a pang through your heart when he flashed you that signature smile, but just like everything else in your life, the feeling was numbed down. You hadn’t mentioned it to your roommates when you got back, in fear of them worrying over you again when you really didn’t need it. They already spent months never mentioning his name or hockey, and the last thing you wanted was for them to think you’d spiral again.

Everything was fine. Just fine.

You continued with your life as if the interaction never happened.

Another month blurred into nothing, and there you sat again in the corner booth with a coke slowly fizzing flat in front of you and a basket of fries eaten down to the crumbs.

The bell above the door dinged with another entrance, but you didn’t tear your gaze from your textbook.

Or, you didn’t until you heard someone clear their throat above you because right before your eyes stood Mat Barzal with a sheepish look on his face.

“Mind if I take a seat?”

[calwrites]

Fearless

Prequel to Don’t You

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Word count: 4.5k

————————

“Looks like it finally stopped raining.”

The murmur of the coffee shop was replaced by the sounds of the city as you followed Sebastian outside. The humidity seemed to hit you like a truck, making you miss the air conditioning you had just left.

“Finally. I thought I was going to be stuck in that coffee shop with you forever.” You laughed at the faux offended look on Sebastian’s face. “That’s what I get for not checking the weather.”

“Next time I’ll let you wait out the rain by yourself,” Sebastian threatened. His grin made the corners of his eyes crinkle a bit. Had they always done that? Had you just never noticed before?

“At least then I won’t have a bunch of teenage girls taking pictures of me the whole time. They’re scary. How do you deal with that all the time?” It had been disconcerting to have the group of girls staring at you and Sebastian as you sat and chatted. For a moment, you had thought you were crazy when you noticed them looking. The first thought you had was that you had something on your face or needed to fix your hair, but you realized why they were so focused on your table when they walked over to ask Sebastian for pictures.

Sebastian let out a sigh as he shrugged. For a second you were worried that you had said something wrong. “I just try to ignore it most of the time. I’m polite if they come up to me. I’d rather they like me than hate me.”

“I’m sure you have lots of stories. You’ll have to tell me sometime.” Your eyes widened when you realized what you’d said. What if he didn’t want to see you again? “I mean, if you’re staying in the city long. I’m sure you’re really busy.”

“I’ve got some promo to do soon, but I’m not filming again for a few months. I wanted a bit of the break.” Sebastian waved his hand. “Let’s not talk about my work. What about you? You taking the business world by storm?”

“Well I did just get a raise, so now I can almost afford my rent, groceries, and student loans.” The joys of living in New York City.

“Ah sounds like everything’s going well then. Are your parents still around?” Your parents had basically fallen in love with Sebastian when they first met him freshman year. A group of your friends had come over to your house for a movie night and Sebastian had insisted on staying to help you clean up after everyone else had left. Your mom had spent the next few weeks not so subtly dropping hints that she thought you should date him.

 “Yeah they’re still in Jersey. They tried to convince me to move in with them, but I told them I didn’t want to have to commute into the city every day. Of course, that set them off about how that’s what they’ve been doing my whole life because they didn’t want me growing up without a yard or whatever.”

“So it sounds like they haven’t changed much?” You shook your head slightly to force yourself to stop watching Sebastian as he laughed.

“No they have not.” You bumped your shoulder against Sebastian’s gently. “They’re your number one fans, you know.”

“Oh they are?” His eyebrows raised in surprise, and he was already fighting a smile, no doubt waiting to hear what embarrassing things your parents had done since high school graduation.

“They see all of your movies in theaters.” Multiple times, but you didn’t want Sebastian to think they were weirdos.

“Even the bad ones?”

“Even the bad ones. I did tell them that they aren’t allowed to buy any of the Bucky dolls.”

“They’re action figures.”

You rolled your eyes, but found yourself matching Sebastian’s smile anyway. “Whatever. It’d be weird seeing a mini version of you at my parents’ house. It’s bad enough that they still have a bunch of high school pictures hung up.”

“My mom does too. She’s going to be so excited when I tell her that I ran into you. You were always her favorite of our group.”

You stopped suddenly, grabbing Sebastian’s arm. He looked a little alarmed, but you ignored it. “Are you serious? I was always so scared of her. This is the best day of my life.” You had met Sebastian’s mom a couple of times throughout high school, but had never been able to tell whether or not she liked you.

“Scared of her? Why? Because of the accent?”

“The accent didn’t help, but really it was because she’s hot. That makes her intimidating.”

Sebastian groaned and pulled a face. “No. You can’t think my mom is hot. That’s not allowed. Take it back or I’m sending your parents all of the Bucky dolls I can find.”

“It’s not like I wanted to bang her or anything. I just think that she’s an attractive woman. Which makes sense considering how attractive you are.” Your mouth snapped shut. You weren’t sure who was blushing more, you or Sebastian. “Let’s forget about this whole conversation.” Sebastian laughed slightly and nodded.

It was silent between you two as you continued your walk through the streets. You weren’t really sure where he was going. You were heading to your car, but you couldn’t tell if Sebastian was also going somewhere or if he was just following you. If you had looked up, you would have noticed that Sebastian was watching you carefully. But you didn’t look up. Your eyes were on the pavement, watching the glow of the lights in the reflection from the rain.

“Do you remember that poster that was in our English class freshman year?” you asked suddenly. Sebastian’s brow crinkled slightly as he tried to remember, but then he followed your gaze to the glowing pavement and smiled.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” The two of you laughed slightly as you remembered your slightly eccentric teacher. “We made fun of that poster so much.”

“It was a stupid poster. But remember it was raining when we were leaving the homecoming dance freshman year and we started dancing in the parking lot-”

“And all of our friends thought we were crazy,” Sebastian finished. “To be fair, we were crazy. That was probably the most fun part of the dance though.”

“Are you saying that I was a bad date?” You gasped and brought your hand up to your mouth as if Sebastian had offended you. Both of you dissolved into giggles.

“I’m saying that I was probably a bad date. I was so awkward. I had such a big crush on you.” Sebastian rubbed his neck uncomfortably. You definitely didn’t notice how the action made his arms look.

“Wait really?” This was news to you. You had always kind of assumed that Sebastian didn’t like you very much. He had always seemed to just tolerate your presence.

“Oh yeah. All the guys used to make fun of me because I got so awkward around you. That’s why I never talked when you were with us.”

“I just thought you were shy or something.” Or that he secretly hated you.

“Well that too,” Sebastian admitted with a small grin.

“You should have just told me. I had a crush on you too. I was so excited when you asked me to the dance.” You were so engrossed in conversation that you almost walked right past your car. “Oh, this is me.”

“Oh.” Was it your imagination or did Sebastian look disappointed? Before you could figure it out, he was smiling again. “It’s been nice catching up. We should hang out again. You still have the same number?”

You assured Sebastian that you did and the two of you exchanged more pleasantries. After sliding into your car, you watched Sebastian continue down the street. The memory of the two of you dancing wildly in the parking lot while the rest of your friends complained about the rain made you smile. You kind of wished you had asked him to dance again.

————————

Part of you already wished that this weekend would never end, even though it had barely even begun. You had finally made it out of the city and still had a couple hours of driving left, but you were already dreading having to go back into the office on Monday.

You and Sebastian had been hanging out more since running into each other last month. Most of the time, you got away without any pictures of the two of you getting out, but recently that had been getting harder and harder to do. Now, through what you could only assume was some sort of social media stalking witchcraft, people had managed to figure out who you were. The hundreds of notifications had freaked you out at first, but after deleting all of the social media apps from your phone, it was totally not a big deal.

Until your coworkers had found out. Some magazine had printed a picture of you and Sebastian, including your name underneath it, so now everyone at the office was either making fun of you by pretending to take paparazzi pictures whenever you walked into a room or constantly asking about Sebastian. Needless to say, you desperately needed this weekend away.

“Hungry eyes,” Sebastian sang, rather poorly though you suspected that was on purpose. You had seen him in musicals in high school. He half turned towards you, reaching out with one hand while the other stayed on the wheel, as he continued to sing along to the music. “One look at you and I can’t disguise these-”

“Keep your eyes on the road,” you scolded, though you couldn’t help but laugh at his bad attempt to hit a high note. “You know, I was worried that you would get us killed at the cabin, but now I know you’re going to get us killed before we even make it there. And stop caressing my hair.” You slapped his hand away for emphasis.

He reached out again to run a hand down your hair. “I am not caressing your hair-”

“Definitely were.”

“-and I am not going to get us killed. We are going to have a nice relaxing weekend at a cabin that I rented and am graciously letting you stay at without paying me back. And we aren’t going to worry about paparazzi or annoying coworkers or random people on the street with cell phones.” There may have been a incident earlier that week where you had almost gone up to a random person in the street to yell at them about taking pictures of you and Sebastian. It turned out they were just a lost tourist who barely spoke English. That was when Sebastian decided that you needed a vacation too.

“I think I’m paying you back by forcing myself to spend time with you. You’re very hard to get along with. Plus, I have no money for vacations. We can’t all be actors in Marvel movies.” The trees blurred by as Sebastian drove down the highway.

“You know, I could probably get you in the next Captain America movie. You might not have any lines, but you could stand in the background.” Had he ever offered any of your other friends from high school roles in his movies? No, you couldn't let yourself get caught up in these kinds of questions.

“Sebastian, thanks again-”

“Stop! I told you to stop thanking me-”

“Thanks again,” you continued loudly, “for inviting me. I know that you were looking forward to a relaxing weekend away before you have press stuff. If you want, we don’t have to talk to each other. I don’t want to ruin your relaxation.”

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably in his seat at your thanks, but then shot you an incredulous look. “How would you ruin my relaxation? I wouldn’t have invited you if I didn’t want to spend time with you.”

“Promise?”

Sebastian sent you a smile that was so full of warmth that you could have melted right there. You were definitely getting caught up now. You tried to snap yourself out of it by thinking about all of the reasons you could never date Sebastian. First, he was Sebastian. He knew what you looked like when you were young and awkward. He had seen the awful bangs you cut yourself sophomore year. Second, he was Sebastian Stan. Surely he’d never date a nobody like you. Not that he was stuck up now. He was surprisingly similar to how he had been in high school. It’s just, he could date models if he wanted to. You were definitely not a model. And you wouldn’t even want to date someone in the spotlight like him. Third, you had been on like two dates with the skeazy guy from accounting. If you ignored most of what he said, he was only a little skeazy. Barely tolerable really. You could work with that.

But then Sebastian ran his hand through his hair, and you had to bite your lip to stop yourself from saying anything stupid. Did he know what he was doing or was he just naturally this cool now? Either way, it was going to be a long weekend.

————————

The dance was not fun. Whoever was writing the prom scenes in all of those cheesy movies was full of crap. The decorations looked bad, your dress was uncomfortable, and you were so busy making sure everything was running smoothly that you weren’t even getting to enjoy your senior prom. You never should have agreed to head the prom committee. Surely the night would be more fun if you didn’t have any responsibilities.

Except you’d probably still be standing on the edges of the dancing watching as all of your friends danced with their boyfriends. You had thought that this would finally be the dance you had a boyfriend for, but then your boyfriend broke up with you less than two weeks before because you were spending too much time working on prom. Great. Wonderful.

It had been difficult to mentally prepare yourself to go to senior prom without a date after working so hard on it.  It had seemed almost poetic when Sebastian asked you. The two of you had gone to your first high school dance together and now you were at your last high school dance together.

Except Sebastian had barely talked to you all night. In fact, he had barely even looked at you. At least, that’s what you thought. Sebastian later confessed to you that he was scared he’d get in the way of your prom committee duties so he watched you from afar as you took care of the last minute issues. But you didn’t know that yet.

“Decided to actually acknowledge me?” you snapped when Sebastian leaned against the wall beside you.

Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. He was probably already regretting coming over to talk to you. “I probably deserve that. You just seemed busy.”

“There were a couple of issues that I had to take care of. I still want to enjoy the dance though.”

“So let’s enjoy it.” Sebastian held his hand out to you and nodded to the dance floor. You smiled gratefully at him and took his hand, letting him lead you out.

Neither of you were great dancers, and the dance floor was maybe a little too crowded, but you made the best of it. After bumping into another couple one too many times, you and Sebastian retired back to the wall, perfectly content to watch the others and whisper amongst yourselves.

“So have you had fun tonight?” Sebastian asked. You had, which was surprising considering how badly the night had started out. Sometimes you forgot how well you and Sebastian could get on. It was so rare to talk to him one on one. You really didn’t know how prom could have gone better. You were kind of disappointed that prom was wrapping up. Already, the dance floor had begun emptying as people left for various after parties.

“I did.” Sebastian grinned, obviously pleased with your answer. “But it wasn’t nearly as good as homecoming freshman year.”

Sebastian's smile faded as he tried to recall the dance you were talking about. “Wasn’t that dance really awkward though?”

“Sure the actual dance was,” you shrugged. “But dancing in the parking lot after was one of my favorite high school memories.”

Sebastian threw his head back to laugh, his hand resting on your shoulder to steady himself. “I’ll admit that I’m kind of glad it’s not raining tonight. My mom was not happy that I got my suit wet. But we can still dance like that tonight. There’s plenty of room on the dance floor.”

“Absolutely not,” you scoffed. “We’d look crazy.”

“Everyone here is either our friend or someone who we’ll probably never see again.” Sebastian held his hand out to you. You bit your lip as you considered before meeting his eyes. He raised an eyebrow in challenge.

“Fine.” Sebastian laughed as you took his hand, once again allowing him to drag you onto the dance floor. He was truly fearless in his dancing this time. Obviously you had to follow suit and ignore the looks people were throwing you as you and Sebastian twirled and spun and jumped around. By the time it was time to leave the dance, you both were red faced and breathless with laughter. The sky was perfectly clear as you walked through the parking lot, but part of you wished it was raining so you could once again dance in a storm in your best dress with Sebastian.

————————

“I thought you weren’t talking to me because you didn’t really want to go with me.”

“What?” Sebastian took his eyes off the road quickly to look over at you. “Why would I ask you if I didn’t want to go with you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe our friends told you to since neither of us had dates.”

“You’re crazy. I was so intimidated by you that I didn’t want to get in your way.” You scoffed and started to speak but Sebastian shushed you. “You’ve always been the most impressive person in the room.”

You weren’t entirely sure how to respond to that. Sebastian Stan thought that you were impressive. But what exactly did that mean? That he thought it was neat that you managed to wrangle high school students enough to plan prom? He said ‘you’ve always’ which seemed to imply that he still felt that way. Right? But he was a successful actor. He worked with people way more impressive than you every day.

The thoughts flashed furiously through your head as Sebastian continued to drive slowly through the town. He had certainly achieved his goal to get away from the city. It was hard to believe the small town you’d spent the weekend in was so in the same state as the city. Paparazzi had certainly not been a worry for the two of you. Eventually, the car reached the end of the road. Rather than turning around and heading back into town, Sebastian put the car in park.

“I don’t want to go back,” he sighed. You had to agree with him. You wanted to stay right there. It had been so relaxing to get away from it all. No paparazzi. No fans. No coworkers. Just you and Sebastian. But it couldn’t last. You had work, and Sebastian had interviews.

“So let’s stay here,” you suggested. “We’ll stock up on food and then barricade ourselves in the cabin. We’ll obviously have to defend ourselves when Marvel comes looking for you and my company comes looking for me, but I have complete confidence that we can take them.” Not that you had reached a position in the company where they would notice you were missing. Maybe after a week or two they’d notice something was off. Marvel was sure to be quicker though.

“Ha ha you’ve made your point.” He sighed again. “This has been the best weekend I’ve had in a long time. Thanks for coming with me.”

“Thanks for inviting me.” Your voice sounded small in the sudden stillness of the car. Sebastian’s eyes flickered over your face, going from your eyes to your lips. “What did you mean earlier?”

“About what?”

“When you said that I was always the most impressive person in the room.” You were a little nervous about his answer. There was a good chance you’d made it out to be deeper than he meant. But then you remembered how fearless and free you felt when Sebastian led you out onto the dance floor at prom, and you knew you had to know the answer.

“Exactly that. I’m constantly in awe of you. The way you were the smartest person at school. I mean, I think you’re still the smartest person I know. I don’t understand anything you’re saying when you talk about work. You always knew exactly what to say to diffuse any of our friends’ drama. You’re kind and funny and always keep me on my toes.” Sebastian paused for a moment. You tried to speak, but all you could do was look at his beautiful blue eyes. “Running into you might be the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“Sebastian,” you murmured. Before you could think of anything else to say, Sebastian’s lips were on yours. You smiled into the kiss as you ran your fingers through Sebastian’s hair. It was the perfect length. You tried your best to capture the memory of this moment. The feel of his lips. His hand on your cheek. The faint sound of birds chirping outside. The patter of rain on the car roof. It was all perfect, and you wanted to remember every second of it.

————————

You didn’t know how life could get better than this. Sebastian’s hand was entwined with your own as you walked through the streets. You had been nervous about this at first. What would his fans think? So far they had been curious but benign when it came to you. Hopefully that wouldn’t change now.

You had almost cancelled when Sebastian showed up at your door. A night in suddenly sounded really good. He hadn’t let you though. Instead, Sebastian had grabbed your hand and pulled you out onto the street. You laughed as he twirled you, causing the skirt of your favorite dress to flow out.

“Good thing it’s not raining today,” Sebastian had laughed. “This would be much less enjoyable if we were getting rained on.”

“I don’t know about that. I think we normally have a pretty good time in the rain.”

 You had managed to walk to the restaurant without being spotted, though you had noticed some people taking pictures as you were eating. By the time the bill had been paid, you were more than happy to take Sebastian’s hand and follow him outside. A short walk later and the two of you were strolling around a park eating ice cream on the way back to your apartment.

“So did you have fun tonight?” Sebastian asked.

“I did,” you admitted with a smile. “It was a lot better than I was expecting.”

“Ouch.” Sebastian made a faux wounded expression that ended up making you both laugh. “I didn’t realize you thought I’d be a bad date.”

“It wasn’t you I was worried about. Your fans kind of terrify me. Not gonna lie. I half expected them to show up at the restaurant and start pelting me with rotten fruit or something.”

“That would certainly kill the mood, but I don’t think you have to worry about people throwing fruit at you.”

“No. I just have to worry about what people are going to be saying about me online.”

“Hey, stop.” Sebastian caught your hand and pulled you back to where he had stopped walking. His hands cupped both sides of your face as he looked seriously at you. “It’s going to be ok. Yeah, there are going to be some people who say some mean things. Just ignore it. It’s why I don’t bother with social media much. It doesn’t matter what they say.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one they’re going to accuse of dating someone just to latch onto their fame or money.” Soon after you and Sebastian had started hanging out, the posts about you trying to use Sebastian’s game to get ahead had started. It didn’t really make much sense. Being friends with an actor wasn’t going to get you promoted any sooner. Still, they had annoyed you and sometimes made you feel weird about being around Sebastian.

“I know that you’re not using me. You know that you’re not using me. Everyone that matters will know that you’re not using me. If anything, I’m getting the better end of our relationship. I’m getting to date the most amazing woman ever.”

“Most amazing woman ever?” you repeated. “I’m not sure I have the necessary qualifications for that title.”

“Would you like to hear your qualifications?”

“Yes I would.” You giggled slightly, feeling like a kid with a crush, when Sebastian slung his arm around you and pulled you close so that he could whisper in your ear.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are the smartest person I know. You’re kind and funny and you know all of this already because I’ve told you it before.”

“Yeah but I wanted to hear it again.” Your face was so close to Sebastian’s as you whispered back to him that your noses were almost touching. You hardly dared to breathe as your eyes flickered between his eyes and his lips. 

Sebastian just barely started moving closer when you both heard “Is that Sebastian Stan?” coming from a nearby group of people. You jumped back almost immediately, blushing like a kid who was caught holding hands on the playground. Sebastian sent you a small smile before turning to face the fans who had come up to ask for pictures. Once he was finally finished with that, he took your hand again and led you back towards your apartment. Hopefully, no one had gotten a picture of you two in the park about to kiss. Despite what Sebastian had said, you were still scared of what people would say. Your hands shook slightly as you walked, so you slipped your hand out of his, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

Quicker than you would have liked, you were back outside your apartment building. “Do you want to come up?” you asked when he stopped on the sidewalk.

Sebastian shook his head. “I have to be up early tomorrow, and, if I go up, I’m never gonna want to leave.” Sebastian grabbed your hands, which were still shaking, and pulled you close before resting his hands on your hips. “I had a great time tonight.” He smiled, making you feel a bit more brave. This was just Sebastian. The same Sebastian you had known for years growing up.

Slowly, Sebastian brought a hand up to your face, giving you plenty of time to stop him. But you didn’t want to. He was making you feel a bit fearless. You grinned as he kissed you softly. Even though it wasn’t your first kiss, it certainly felt like it. Although technically, it was your first kiss as an official couple. And it was your first kiss out in public, where someone could take a picture that would make its way through the Marvel fandom.

But that didn’t matter to you now. The kiss was flawless. And despite whatever people online were probably already posting about you, you would never regret this moment. Life with Sebastian was undeniably better than life without him. 

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tags

@bbl32